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This week on Clown College.

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I wrestled a special needs person.

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And they slammed the shit out of you, didn't they?

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No, dude.

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It was bad because it was senior night and my mom never came to any of my...

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She's German. She doesn't do things like that.

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Like, support me.

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But so she actually came to this wrestling match at senior night,

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but they didn't have a person for me to wrestle.

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And I was the best dude on the team and I was like, just give me anybody.

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And they were like, well, this dude from JV.

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And he was clearly something was wrong with them, you know?

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And I could have went easy on him, but I beat him like 15 seconds.

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I just slammed him on the mat and pinned him.

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Just because, you know, he needed to...

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I think you should do that.

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They should all be treated the same.

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Everyone should be treated the same.

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And why did you say they?

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I was talking about the special needs.

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Got to hit a vape after that one, dude.

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I feel that.

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Get that mojo back.

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So we just filmed the whole episode.

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We're about to dismount off of and the power just went out.

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Yeah.

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Because of this storm that nobody knew was coming.

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You know.

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Came out of nowhere scared the shit out of us.

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Things happen for a reason.

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Things happen.

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It's all a blessing.

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We got more pressing things to talk about.

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Yes, we do.

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Yeah, dude.

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All right.

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So what is it?

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I got to hear about it.

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Do we just break it in or we lead it up to it?

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I mean, we can save it if we want to talk about some other happenings.

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What's happening in the world today, Brandon?

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In the world today?

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Well, I heard yesterday that John Cena's retiring.

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Oh my gosh.

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That's deep.

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I feel like right now I'm in denial part because they said the 2025 season, but once he's gone,

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I'm going to be hurt because dude, that's another era.

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I remember when he was there and I was like, damn, look at this new guy coming in here.

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You know he wasn't that new because you know he started in 2002.

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But when I started watching like 2009, he was on top of the world and I was looking

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at Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant.

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Well, Andre's dead.

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Hulk Hogan was just old calling people to him.

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Is there a better?

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Sick.

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I mean, that's what I aspire to be one day.

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And Sal, look at this.

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I still got a figure.

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I got all his years.

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I got the 1975 or 1979 one when he was close to the Thunderlips at 82.

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And then I got the Japanese edition, which you like very much.

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I fucked with that one, dude.

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Then I got the WCW.

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I got the 1985.

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No, actually the limited edition 1986 Coliseum edition that is a remake of the LJN one that

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it was very, very hard to find.

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If you could find that right now, you had about almost $200.

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Just letting you know.

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So look in your little toy box and you'll see.

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This is all gibberish to me.

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I don't even know what's happening.

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What's being said.

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I'll show you a picture of it.

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It's beautiful.

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Brandon, is there a better entrance in wrestling than when John Cena came back in 2008 to the

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Royal Rumble after he tore his pick, dude?

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He came back early.

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I have to see that one again.

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It's been so long.

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But I remember the most epic one.

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Did I just alt-tism Brandon right there?

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That's not even LJN.

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I'm trying to show you all LJN.

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They're trying to show me Mattel.

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This one right here, the black card.

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How dare they, man?

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Damn.

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Hold up.

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That's a bed.

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That's got to be a bed because if not, that's a fucking steal.

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Brandon's about to get lost.

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Okay, we back.

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I'm sorry.

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Dude, he's in the black card.

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Listen, the black card is the biggest... If you find a black card, you're going to get

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almost $1,000.

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A black card?

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Yes, the black card from the LJN.

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This is late 80s, 1988 to 1989 when they ended it.

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Only $1,000?

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What's the black card, though?

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Is it inside this thing?

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Oh, no.

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This is the black card right here.

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See?

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The original card is this, this blue one.

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You get that black one.

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You in there.

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Okay.

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Damn, dude.

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Yeah, man.

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Good times.

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Good times.

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I need to hear the rest of this story.

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We don't know anything about this story, but it's interesting and I want to hear about

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it.

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Go ahead.

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Yeah.

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There was a crime that was committed.

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I went to UAH.

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Dom currently goes to UAH.

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Everybody in Huntsville knows what it is, University of Alabama in Huntsville.

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Huntsville gang charges.

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Let's go.

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More like the charges, but it's not funny.

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In 2010, a woman who worked for UAH, she was a professor in the biology department.

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She applied for tenure and then a year, she got rejected.

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They did not accept her bid.

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A year later, she went to a department meeting and at the end of the meeting, she took out

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a handgun from her purse, shot six people, killed three of them.

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It's wild.

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They made national headlines and all.

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Were they staff or students?

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It was staff.

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It was all the biology department.

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It was in the Shelby Center.

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And she just went in there.

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Yeah, that's crazy because we're in that motherfucker.

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She just said, pop, pop, pop.

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Yep.

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Six people.

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Damn.

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I wonder what kind of gun it was.

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It was a Ruger.

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The Ruger?

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P94, something like that.

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P98?

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I saw it in the article on the New Yorker, which is a great read by the way, if you like

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this kind of shit.

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It's wild.

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All right.

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So what was it?

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But, yeah.

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Shit, where was I?

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Okay.

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So she shoots up the meeting and everything and she gets apprehended by the police.

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They take her into custody.

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They're holding her in jail, awaiting trial.

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And then the Huntsville Police Department gets a call from a Boston Suburb area police

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department.

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They were like, hey, this might be relevant to the case.

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She shot and killed her brother back in the day.

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Damn.

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Wild.

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Never faced any charges for it.

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They describe what happened with her brother was like their father or one of their other

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brothers died.

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And during the wake, somebody came and robbed their house, like just rents their house while

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the valuables fucked up thing to do.

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But they get back, the brother's like enraged.

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Like he's so mad.

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He goes and buys a gun from like a sporting goods store in the area, a shotgun.

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And the mom and her right there, Amy Bishop, they don't like it.

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They're like, we don't want you to have this gun in the house or whatever.

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And a few days pass and the dude comes back and Amy has the gun and she's walking down

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the stairs and she's like, hey, I got, I put a shell in this.

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I don't know how to unload it.

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You know, can you show me?

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And the mom and the brother are in the kitchen and the mom's like, well, don't point it at

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anybody.

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And she like turns it around to show her brother and pulls the trigger, shoots him point blank

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in the chest, dies.

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He was 18 years old.

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Damn.

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Damn.

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Yeah.

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But the mom's the only witness.

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She fled the scene.

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The mom?

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No, no, the sister fled the scene.

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Her.

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She fled the scene.

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And the, the, the mom calls the police or she calls the police or something.

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And there wasn't enough conclusive evidence to prove that it was murder.

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And the mom testified in her favor saying that it was an accident, that it was just

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like a freak accident.

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Kind of hard to believe now given what happened.

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But so that happens.

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And after a little, a few years after that, she has her first child.

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I think she ended up having four kids, but the first child, dude, she named him Seth

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after her brother.

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And the baby is born on the same day as her brother.

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Dude, there's some Ouija board shit.

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Creepy, dude.

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Creepy.

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And she writes three books.

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She publishes three books.

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And in one of them, the main female protagonist has a son and names him after somebody who

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she loved that died.

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And she's worried that the son is going to grow up to be like the guy that died.

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So she's like, uses these three novels and frames it as this fictitious narrative in

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this story that happened, but it's actually what happened in real life.

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And then another one.

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This bitch crazy.

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She's wild, bro.

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She was a PhD graduate from Harvard.

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She got a PhD from Harvard in neurobiology.

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Get the fuck out.

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So she's smart and crazy.

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She was Northeastern undergrad, Harvard doctoral student with a neurobiology PhD.

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Crazy.

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But then people start shitting on her.

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In the article, they're like, she was the weakest candidate for a doctoral student we've

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ever seen.

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But she did have a PhD.

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And in the other books, her husband never worked.

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He was kind of like a bum.

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He had odd jobs here and there.

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And she was actually quoted as saying he was too smart to work.

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Kind of weird to say.

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But in one of the books, the main protagonist, her husband is like the character in the book

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describes her husband as a limp, bed loving loser.

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She talking shit through her books.

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And he works at Radio Shack actually in the book, which is crazy to think about.

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And it doesn't get any less crazy, dude.

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In 2002, she goes to an IHOP with her son Seth, the one that she named after her brother

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that she killed.

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They run out of, what do they call it?

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The little chairs, the high chairs for the babies.

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Yeah, high chair.

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Yeah.

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And they give the last one to this other lady and Amy Bishop becomes enraged.

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She carons out, bro.

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She's like, we were here first.

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And the manager comes.

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They leave, like she has to leave.

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She goes and punches the other woman in the face.

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Not even the one who gave it to her, just the one who got it with her child, like punches

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her in the face.

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Pulled a pin.

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She over here punched a people in the face.

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Did she win?

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Who won?

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Well, I think she kind of just sneak.

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Yeah.

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You don't expect that.

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She kind of sneaked her bro and then just left.

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And that was while she was at Harvard.

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And they were just like, oh, she's under a lot of stress.

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She's a PhD student.

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Things happen, which is wild.

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It's a violent crime, dude.

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And so that happens.

264
00:11:46,220 --> 00:11:51,840
And then in 2003, a year later, she starts working at UAH.

265
00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:58,920
And seven years go by, 2010, she applies for tenure, doesn't get it, commits a mass shooting

266
00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:00,600
at the department meeting.

267
00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:04,520
And the way the article describes it is like she waits till the meeting's almost over.

268
00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:06,160
She reaches in her bag.

269
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:10,560
She's sitting next to the head of the department, pulls out the pistol and puts one right through

270
00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:11,560
his head.

271
00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:17,240
She kills him instantly and then turns the gun on another professor, on another professor,

272
00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:18,520
shoots six people.

273
00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:24,160
Now they interview somebody who was in the meeting that survived, who was like her best

274
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,720
work friend.

275
00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:31,640
But in the article, she admits like, yeah, I voted against her receiving tenure.

276
00:12:31,640 --> 00:12:33,600
Like students complained about her.

277
00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:35,120
She was very hard to work with.

278
00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:37,520
She didn't do any research and publish articles.

279
00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:40,760
And UAH is a research-based university.

280
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:43,400
Just a lot of complaints against her.

281
00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:45,920
And I wonder why.

282
00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:48,320
A lot of complaints against this woman.

283
00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:56,600
And so she knew that that other lady didn't like voted against her receiving tenure.

284
00:12:56,600 --> 00:12:57,600
They had talked about it.

285
00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:02,440
But they had conversations after that about like, she was like, oh, my professional life

286
00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:03,440
is over.

287
00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:04,720
And the woman is like, no, it's not.

288
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:05,920
You just got to find your fit.

289
00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:09,920
You got to find a place where you can excel in.

290
00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:14,360
The lady, the best friend, dove under the table when the shooting started.

291
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:15,360
She dives under the table.

292
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:18,480
And at this point, six people are bleeding out.

293
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,240
Three of them are dead.

294
00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:26,360
And she says that she crawls out from under the table and flings her arms around Amy Bishop's

295
00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:31,040
legs and looks up at her and is like, please, you know my children.

296
00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:33,320
You know I have a family.

297
00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:34,320
Don't shoot me.

298
00:13:34,320 --> 00:13:35,320
Please don't kill me.

299
00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:39,600
She said she looked her dead in the eyes, raised the gun up, and pulled the trigger,

300
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:40,600
but it jammed.

301
00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:41,600
Damn.

302
00:13:41,600 --> 00:13:42,760
It jammed.

303
00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:45,360
And so the lady like runs out in the hallway.

304
00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:50,920
She follows her and keeps pulling the trigger, but it's just not firing.

305
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:53,160
Like some cold blooded shit.

306
00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:55,760
Man, hell no.

307
00:13:55,760 --> 00:14:01,800
She went to the bathroom, washed off the gun, took her blazer off that had all the blood

308
00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:08,360
on it, put it in the trash can, went into the lab downstairs and asked a grad student

309
00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:11,280
who was studying in there, hey, can I use your phone real quick?

310
00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:15,000
She calls her husband and is like, hey, I'm finished.

311
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,000
The meeting's over.

312
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,740
And he comes to pick her up.

313
00:14:17,740 --> 00:14:20,060
But at that point she got arrested.

314
00:14:20,060 --> 00:14:22,280
Like the police apprehended her.

315
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:24,560
And heartless, bro.

316
00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:25,560
Souls.

317
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:26,560
Hell no.

318
00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:29,320
She said she kept on shooting but the gun jammed.

319
00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:31,400
That's an asshole right there.

320
00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:33,720
Just followed her pulling the trigger.

321
00:14:33,720 --> 00:14:34,720
Look in this bitch's eyes.

322
00:14:34,720 --> 00:14:35,720
Where she at now?

323
00:14:35,720 --> 00:14:36,720
I see it.

324
00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:37,720
She's still in jail, right?

325
00:14:37,720 --> 00:14:38,720
Yeah, she found God.

326
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:39,720
Good.

327
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:40,720
Yeah, right.

328
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:41,720
That's what she said.

329
00:14:41,720 --> 00:14:43,360
That's what she says in the article.

330
00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:45,520
Because the article's from 2013.

331
00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:47,280
This happened in 2010.

332
00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:48,280
Look that article up.

333
00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:51,160
If she ever gets paroled.

334
00:14:51,160 --> 00:14:54,960
It's, look up the New Yorker.

335
00:14:54,960 --> 00:14:56,720
Just keep that and then New Yorker.

336
00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:59,360
I can't believe that happened in UAH too.

337
00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:00,360
That's fucking wild.

338
00:15:00,360 --> 00:15:01,360
Wild as shit.

339
00:15:01,360 --> 00:15:04,160
And this, that's it.

340
00:15:04,160 --> 00:15:06,880
Look at the fucking painting they made of her, dude.

341
00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:10,920
She looks like Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men.

342
00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:11,920
It's insane.

343
00:15:11,920 --> 00:15:13,520
Shoot, likes them too, I guess.

344
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:16,160
That's a fucking Anton Shagura right there.

345
00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:20,200
You remember Chocolate Factory?

346
00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:21,280
Scroll down a little bit, Brandon.

347
00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:22,920
I want to find that part.

348
00:15:22,920 --> 00:15:23,920
Scroll down.

349
00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:26,280
Moriarty is the best friend's name.

350
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:28,120
Moriarty, let's go down here.

351
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:29,120
And back down.

352
00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:30,120
Oops, too far?

353
00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:31,120
Keep going?

354
00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:32,120
Yeah.

355
00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:33,520
See, I'm gonna stop.

356
00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:34,840
People screamed, duck for cover.

357
00:15:34,840 --> 00:15:38,200
Moriarty dived under the table with gunshots ringing out above her.

358
00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:41,920
She flung her arms around Bishop's leg and screamed, Amy, don't do this.

359
00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:42,920
Think of my daughter.

360
00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:43,920
Think of my grandson.

361
00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:44,920
That's, that's.

362
00:15:44,920 --> 00:15:47,720
Bishop looked down then turned the gun on Moriarty.

363
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:48,720
Click.

364
00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:50,720
Moriarty in terror stared at the gun.

365
00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:52,440
The weapon had jammed.

366
00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:54,280
She crawled past Bishop into the hallway.

367
00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:59,520
Bishop followed her repeatedly squeezing the trigger.

368
00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:00,720
That's insanity, dude.

369
00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:01,720
That's ridiculous.

370
00:16:01,720 --> 00:16:04,760
Dude, that's the evil right there that you don't come across.

371
00:16:04,760 --> 00:16:05,760
That's evil, man.

372
00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:08,560
But this was like huge national news.

373
00:16:08,560 --> 00:16:10,880
And in the like, this was 2013.

374
00:16:10,880 --> 00:16:16,960
So, you know, Columbine was 14 years previous or Sandy Hook happened this same year.

375
00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:17,960
Oh, did it?

376
00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:18,960
2010.

377
00:16:18,960 --> 00:16:19,960
Yeah.

378
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:22,080
I don't know if it had already happened, but it happened or no, that was like a couple

379
00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:23,080
of years.

380
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:24,080
Like who gives a fuck?

381
00:16:24,080 --> 00:16:25,080
But not like that.

382
00:16:25,080 --> 00:16:26,080
Sorry.

383
00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:27,600
It's not important to what I'm trying to say.

384
00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:30,160
Mass shootings weren't like a crazy phenomenon.

385
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:31,160
Yeah.

386
00:16:31,160 --> 00:16:32,160
Pretty.

387
00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:33,160
They were happening by this point.

388
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:38,280
But it made national news headlines because it's one of the it's not very often that a

389
00:16:38,280 --> 00:16:40,080
woman commits a mass shooting.

390
00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:41,080
Yeah.

391
00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:42,320
Is she like one of the only ones?

392
00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:43,800
I mean, I don't know any other ones.

393
00:16:43,800 --> 00:16:45,680
I don't know of any other one.

394
00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:49,200
I know women serial killers like poison your drinks because they're weaker.

395
00:16:49,200 --> 00:16:50,200
Yeah.

396
00:16:50,200 --> 00:16:51,200
But like a firearm?

397
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:52,200
Yeah.

398
00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:53,200
Not, not common.

399
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:58,080
And I think the biggest lesson we learned about this whole story is don't buy a Ruger.

400
00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:02,400
Yeah, don't do that.

401
00:17:02,400 --> 00:17:03,400
But also you should.

402
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,960
I don't, I don't purchase firearms, dude.

403
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:08,400
So with the tenor, tenor is becoming the teacher, right?

404
00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:09,400
Huh?

405
00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:10,400
Tenor is one to be a teacher.

406
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:13,240
Tenor is like it kind of secures your position.

407
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:17,440
She was already a professor, but when you apply for tenure, you get like a retirement

408
00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:18,440
plan.

409
00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:20,120
It's kind of like, oh, it's hard to fire you.

410
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:21,120
Yeah.

411
00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:22,120
You have kind of like a permanent spot.

412
00:17:22,120 --> 00:17:23,120
Yeah.

413
00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:24,120
Wow.

414
00:17:24,120 --> 00:17:25,120
She's crazy.

415
00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:28,400
I mean, if she wasn't that crazy and somebody else came in there, we would be covered.

416
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:29,860
I would want to be in her class.

417
00:17:29,860 --> 00:17:32,320
But for this situation, no, that's fucked up.

418
00:17:32,320 --> 00:17:33,320
Damn.

419
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:34,320
It's a good take.

420
00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:35,320
I can't believe this.

421
00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:36,320
I want to.

422
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:37,320
That hurts.

423
00:17:37,320 --> 00:17:40,680
She was so, it sounds like she was aiming for people.

424
00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:41,680
Yeah.

425
00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:44,680
No, she was, it was solely just for revenge.

426
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:45,680
That's messed up.

427
00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:46,680
Cause she was pissed.

428
00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:48,320
So do you think she would have killed more if the gun didn't jam?

429
00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:49,320
Yeah.

430
00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:50,320
Oh yeah.

431
00:17:50,320 --> 00:17:51,320
I mean, she tried to kill the lady.

432
00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:53,800
But she was after her because she knew she didn't vote for.

433
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:58,800
Well, everybody else is just under the table or screaming like, yeah, she was standing

434
00:17:58,800 --> 00:17:59,800
in the doorway.

435
00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:02,240
Nobody could get past her.

436
00:18:02,240 --> 00:18:06,200
When the lady jumped out from underneath the table and grabbed her legs, it was like, please

437
00:18:06,200 --> 00:18:07,200
don't shoot me.

438
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:08,200
And she was like, wow.

439
00:18:08,200 --> 00:18:09,200
Damn.

440
00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:11,440
How could you do that?

441
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:12,440
It's insane, man.

442
00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:16,720
Dude, I was reading this and I just could not fucking believe it, dude.

443
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:18,920
Cause I've been in Shelby.

444
00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:23,640
And I'd heard people talk about it, but I didn't know how deep this fucking went, dude.

445
00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:26,160
I had no, I never even heard anybody talk about it.

446
00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:27,160
Me neither.

447
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:28,160
Punching the lady at IHOP.

448
00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:29,160
Yeah.

449
00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:30,160
Come on, man.

450
00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:31,160
Killing her brother.

451
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,480
And then the same day, it's weird, man.

452
00:18:33,480 --> 00:18:34,480
I wonder what her kids think.

453
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:35,480
That's going to be a big ass movie.

454
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:36,480
She has four kids.

455
00:18:36,480 --> 00:18:37,480
She has four of them.

456
00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:43,320
So you got to monitor those kids because if they have any kind of crazy that she has,

457
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:44,920
it can get sexy and get weird.

458
00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:45,920
Yeah, it can.

459
00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:46,920
But my question.

460
00:18:46,920 --> 00:18:47,920
What?

461
00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:48,920
I agree.

462
00:18:48,920 --> 00:18:49,920
Okay.

463
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:58,040
Sexy is, I mean, crazy is sexy, but not too, you don't want to get too crazy killing people.

464
00:18:58,040 --> 00:18:59,960
You don't want to have a mass shooter sexy.

465
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:00,960
No.

466
00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:01,960
You can't deal with that.

467
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:02,960
She might kill you.

468
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:06,760
She's going to, not might, she will kill you.

469
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:07,760
Oh yeah.

470
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:08,760
Yeah.

471
00:19:08,760 --> 00:19:10,880
I mean, and she doesn't kill like most women.

472
00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:12,440
She went with a gun.

473
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:13,440
Cold fucking blood.

474
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:15,440
Violent, bloody, messy.

475
00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:17,840
Just outright cold hearted shit.

476
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:24,240
And had somebody begging her to not to kill her and still said, no bitch, you should have

477
00:19:24,240 --> 00:19:26,240
voted for me to get tenure.

478
00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:27,240
Yeah.

479
00:19:27,240 --> 00:19:28,240
That's wild, bro.

480
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:29,240
You know my kids.

481
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:33,640
She's like your tenure ends here, dude.

482
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:34,960
That's insane.

483
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:39,040
But the people, the people I was around that I talked to when I first read this, they were

484
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:42,120
like, oh, well maybe she did accidentally kill her brother.

485
00:19:42,120 --> 00:19:45,080
And then that's what changed her.

486
00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:46,600
I don't think so, man.

487
00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:47,600
No.

488
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,560
Like she, she, it was real sketch.

489
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:51,840
Go back to her pictures of her.

490
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:52,840
Yeah.

491
00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:53,840
You can tell by looking at them.

492
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:54,840
Yeah.

493
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:55,840
These eyes.

494
00:19:55,840 --> 00:19:56,840
Let's look at her eyes.

495
00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:58,120
Let's go back y'all.

496
00:19:58,120 --> 00:19:59,120
Come on.

497
00:19:59,120 --> 00:20:02,760
She was having, she was a little crazy, bro.

498
00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:03,760
Okay.

499
00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:06,920
I'm going to have to get over here to the rugger.

500
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:10,680
Her name was Amy Bishop.

501
00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:11,680
Hate guns, man.

502
00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:12,680
Yeah.

503
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:16,480
This is like, go to her and her husband.

504
00:20:16,480 --> 00:20:17,480
Her and her husband.

505
00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:18,480
Or whoever that guy is.

506
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:19,480
I think that's her husband.

507
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:20,480
He look crazy as damn.

508
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,760
That's the guy that works at Radio Shack, I think.

509
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:24,160
He makes me angry to look at it.

510
00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:26,160
Like Forrest Gump, isn't he?

511
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:27,160
Scroll down.

512
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:28,160
Let's see.

513
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:33,120
That's actually, I think that's something that they invented that they were like trying

514
00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:34,120
to sell.

515
00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:35,120
What they're holding.

516
00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:36,400
I'm like, wait, what is that?

517
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:37,400
Please don't.

518
00:20:37,400 --> 00:20:38,400
Is that from the TV show?

519
00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:39,400
Oh God.

520
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:40,400
They made it.

521
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:41,400
Man, it makes sense.

522
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:42,400
That's a terrible wig.

523
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:43,400
That's awful.

524
00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:44,400
I don't.

525
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:45,400
That's bad.

526
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:46,400
That's bad all around.

527
00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:47,400
Yeah.

528
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:48,400
There's nothing great about this.

529
00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:49,400
The lighting.

530
00:20:49,400 --> 00:20:50,400
Oh, now that, look at that.

531
00:20:50,400 --> 00:20:51,400
Look at that.

532
00:20:51,400 --> 00:20:52,400
That's crazy.

533
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:53,400
Look at her.

534
00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:55,400
Click on that picture where they're putting her in the car right above that one there.

535
00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:59,680
You got a lot of them.

536
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:00,680
Damn.

537
00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:01,680
Yeah.

538
00:21:01,680 --> 00:21:02,680
That's great.

539
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:03,680
That's when she got arrested.

540
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:04,680
Or in court.

541
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:05,680
Mom from Malcolm in the Middle.

542
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:06,680
Oh yeah.

543
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:09,680
There's so many scenes she looks like in this picture.

544
00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:10,680
Oh dude.

545
00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:11,680
That demon.

546
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:12,680
That's a demon.

547
00:21:12,680 --> 00:21:13,680
You can kill people like that.

548
00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:20,760
See, you just need to put these people down because you can't let, if there's no way she

549
00:21:20,760 --> 00:21:23,680
can go out back to society.

550
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:25,320
You can't recover from that one, man.

551
00:21:25,320 --> 00:21:28,640
You killed, I mean you killed three people then.

552
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:30,640
You killed somebody years before that.

553
00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,520
You punched a lady in the eye.

554
00:21:32,520 --> 00:21:36,960
You have a history of violent and sporadic outburst.

555
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:38,360
You're a danger to society.

556
00:21:38,360 --> 00:21:39,480
She killed her brother on purpose.

557
00:21:39,480 --> 00:21:40,480
She killed her brother.

558
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:41,480
Oh, of course.

559
00:21:41,480 --> 00:21:42,480
That didn't change her.

560
00:21:42,480 --> 00:21:44,360
You don't point blank shoot somebody with a shotgun.

561
00:21:44,360 --> 00:21:47,600
When they're telling you stop playing with that, don't point at that somebody.

562
00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:48,600
Yeah.

563
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:49,600
Yeah.

564
00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,880
And it wasn't like, they just didn't have any witnesses.

565
00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:54,160
I mean the mom was there and was like, it was an accident.

566
00:21:54,160 --> 00:21:56,080
The mom wants to believe it's an accident.

567
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:57,080
Oh, dude.

568
00:21:57,080 --> 00:21:58,080
You know, nothing more than the mom wants.

569
00:21:58,080 --> 00:22:02,080
In the article, she was still like, she just snapped.

570
00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:04,080
The hell is this?

571
00:22:04,080 --> 00:22:05,080
That's what she said?

572
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:06,080
Yeah.

573
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:09,600
I think that was after she had, you know, shot up the meeting.

574
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:10,600
Wow.

575
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:11,600
This is a year before.

576
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:14,600
You can tell she's crazy in this picture too.

577
00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:15,600
That's the winter of 2009.

578
00:22:15,600 --> 00:22:16,600
I mean it's crazy.

579
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:19,600
I mean that, wearing that haircut, she gets you nine to life.

580
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:20,600
Oh yeah.

581
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:21,600
You should be scared.

582
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:23,600
You should be able to fucking just pull that off.

583
00:22:23,600 --> 00:22:24,600
You see that.

584
00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:25,600
Oh shit.

585
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:26,600
Man, crazy shit.

586
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:27,600
So what else happened?

587
00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:38,480
Man, well, I mean on 4th of July, I went to work and came home and then I don't know how

588
00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:43,120
this happened, but my key fell out of my pocket and I got locked out of my house and my mom

589
00:22:43,120 --> 00:22:44,120
was gone.

590
00:22:44,120 --> 00:22:45,120
My uncle was gone.

591
00:22:45,120 --> 00:22:46,120
Nobody was there.

592
00:22:46,120 --> 00:22:49,960
So for like two to three hours, I'm literally outside with a credit card just clawing at

593
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:52,520
the door, trying so hard.

594
00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:56,560
And then people on the phone like, Brandon, man, first somebody get a locksmith, then somebody

595
00:22:56,560 --> 00:23:00,360
like go to your neighbor, but me, you know, which this made me feel better about myself

596
00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:02,200
because I realized I'm like a warrior, man.

597
00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:04,600
I'm not going to give up and try to get somebody else.

598
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,920
No, I kept doing it until my phone literally was overheated.

599
00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:11,720
Like I said, I need to get somewhere cooler and there was nowhere else to be cooler.

600
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:13,680
And that was literally like my neighbor.

601
00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:17,400
So my dad called my neighbor and then he came over and literally saw me.

602
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:20,800
You literally see me laying there just trying to claw slowly.

603
00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:21,800
You're on the ground?

604
00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:25,160
Yeah, it's literally sitting on the ground trying to get into this door with this credit

605
00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:26,160
card.

606
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:29,960
And then he was like, damn, how long, man, I've never seen you sweat like that before,

607
00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:30,960
Brandon.

608
00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:31,960
You know I sweat.

609
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:33,600
But dude, I was sweating so horrible.

610
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:34,600
I was hiding.

611
00:23:34,600 --> 00:23:37,440
He's like, we're going to have to get you a doorknob or something, man.

612
00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:38,440
This ain't going to work.

613
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:39,440
And because he tried it.

614
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:40,440
So then we.

615
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,240
Yeah, you know, you know, the door does it.

616
00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:46,240
Wait, how were you locked out of the house if it doesn't have a doorknob?

617
00:23:46,240 --> 00:23:47,240
No.

618
00:23:47,240 --> 00:23:50,120
So I'm saying the doorknobs locked so I can't open it.

619
00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:52,240
I'm trying to pick it with a what's that thing?

620
00:23:52,240 --> 00:23:54,240
Did it have a devil to know?

621
00:23:54,240 --> 00:23:58,200
No, because we couldn't get in this house.

622
00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:00,200
There was no way because nobody was there.

623
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:01,920
Can we can we backtrack a little bit?

624
00:24:01,920 --> 00:24:02,920
Yes.

625
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:04,120
Why was your phone hot?

626
00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:06,720
Because I was like I had it because it was hot outside.

627
00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:08,000
It was like almost 100 degrees.

628
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:10,000
I feel like it's nine years old.

629
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,720
So you didn't have a porch or a cover.

630
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,400
No, I got an XR like that old one.

631
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:16,400
Huh?

632
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:17,400
I got the iPhone XR.

633
00:24:17,400 --> 00:24:18,400
Oh, no, no.

634
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:20,320
I'm saying you don't have a cover to your porch.

635
00:24:20,320 --> 00:24:21,760
Oh, yeah, I did.

636
00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:24,120
I eventually put it over there, but I was trying to talk and get it.

637
00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:26,440
I was like, yo, what should I do?

638
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:28,560
He was calling a lot of people outside.

639
00:24:28,560 --> 00:24:30,080
And then like people kept sending me a bunch of things.

640
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:34,280
So then we went to Home Depot and got a new door and we just got a hammer and just boom.

641
00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:37,560
We broke that bitch off and it came off very easily.

642
00:24:37,560 --> 00:24:39,360
So this was good that we did this.

643
00:24:39,360 --> 00:24:42,080
You didn't just wait for somebody else with the keys?

644
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:46,280
No, no, because, dude, dude, I would have had to wait like a couple of days because they

645
00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:48,320
weren't like when I called my mom, she's like, oh, you're right.

646
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:50,040
You're on your own son hung up.

647
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:51,040
Damn.

648
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:52,040
And shit.

649
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:55,520
So I'm just like, dude, I literally got stabbed in the bushes trying to break in my window.

650
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:57,800
I couldn't because they're all locked.

651
00:24:57,800 --> 00:24:58,800
So I was like, fuck.

652
00:24:58,800 --> 00:24:59,800
Every window was locked?

653
00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:01,600
Yes, every window was locked.

654
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:04,880
So I was just stuck out there heated in my work clothes.

655
00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:08,520
And then eventually we busted the door knob and we got a new one.

656
00:25:08,520 --> 00:25:11,760
I'm sure Jake has a lock picking kit somewhere.

657
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:12,760
Without a doubt.

658
00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:15,600
You know how much it costs though to get your door unlocked from a locksmith?

659
00:25:15,600 --> 00:25:16,600
Almost $200.

660
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:20,400
But it sounds like your house was first of all, extremely easy to break into.

661
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:24,360
Oh yeah, not anymore because we replaced that door, but because it was a whole door.

662
00:25:24,360 --> 00:25:25,360
No, that's the door.

663
00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:26,360
The door knob.

664
00:25:26,360 --> 00:25:27,360
You guys got a deadbolt?

665
00:25:27,360 --> 00:25:28,360
Deadbolt.

666
00:25:28,360 --> 00:25:29,360
What's that?

667
00:25:29,360 --> 00:25:32,360
The top lock, the big lock.

668
00:25:32,360 --> 00:25:34,080
Oh yeah, we have the big one.

669
00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:35,520
Thankfully, that one was unlocked.

670
00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:38,960
We don't lock that because you have to have another key for that one.

671
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:45,200
Man, you should just go to a minute key at a Walmart and make just a lot of coffee.

672
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:46,200
Oh, I did.

673
00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:47,200
I actually made two.

674
00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:48,200
Hold on, let me show you.

675
00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:49,200
I'm very excited about this one.

676
00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:50,200
Look, I made this Star Wars one.

677
00:25:50,200 --> 00:25:51,200
Then I got the Deadpool one too.

678
00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:52,200
Hell yeah.

679
00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:53,200
I'm so out on it.

680
00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:54,200
Hell yeah.

681
00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:55,200
Hell yeah.

682
00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:56,200
Now I gave my mom her key.

683
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:57,200
She wasn't happy about that.

684
00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:58,200
She was like, I want the one that blink with the light.

685
00:25:58,200 --> 00:25:59,200
So I'm sorry.

686
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:00,200
I didn't even tell me.

687
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:01,200
She wanted one that flashed light.

688
00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:02,200
I thought I heard you say something very different.

689
00:26:02,200 --> 00:26:03,200
There's one that you press.

690
00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:04,200
It's like a flashlight that they had.

691
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:05,200
You didn't tell me.

692
00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:06,200
I'm sorry.

693
00:26:06,200 --> 00:26:07,200
I'm sorry.

694
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:08,200
I didn't even tell you.

695
00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:09,200
I'm sorry.

696
00:26:09,200 --> 00:26:10,200
I'm sorry.

697
00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:11,200
I'm sorry.

698
00:26:11,200 --> 00:26:12,200
I'm sorry.

699
00:26:12,200 --> 00:26:17,200
There's one that you press that's like a flashlight that they had.

700
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:20,960
There's a flashlight key that if you press the button, the light comes on.

701
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:25,200
I thought you were talking about a key fob for a car that unlocks your door.

702
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:26,560
I wish, man.

703
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:28,560
My car can't do that.

704
00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:29,560
I got to lock them all individually.

705
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:32,080
Press them all down, pull them all up.

706
00:26:32,080 --> 00:26:33,600
Plus my back trunk don't even lock.

707
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:36,600
I shouldn't be saying this out here.

708
00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:38,880
But yeah.

709
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:41,200
People are going to know which car it is, Brandon.

710
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:42,200
That's a sticker.

711
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:46,000
Dude, somebody broke in at the VBC already once.

712
00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:47,000
They found it out.

713
00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:48,000
I had some shoes.

714
00:26:48,000 --> 00:26:53,560
I was trying to sell this small Patrick Starr shoes, a size five or six, I found at the Frifft

715
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:54,560
store.

716
00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:59,880
When I was trying to sell it, man, I was doing security for this show called, this band called

717
00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:03,720
Ghost, which people say it was kind of like a devil type thing.

718
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:04,720
I don't know, man.

719
00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:05,720
They said it was something like that.

720
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:06,720
And dude, it was crazy as fuck.

721
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:07,720
There was people outside.

722
00:27:07,720 --> 00:27:11,360
There was this girl that was acting like she was possessed on the ground, roaring while

723
00:27:11,360 --> 00:27:12,360
the police was trying to-

724
00:27:12,360 --> 00:27:13,360
She was having an overdose.

725
00:27:13,360 --> 00:27:14,360
Yeah, probably.

726
00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:15,360
She was not possessed.

727
00:27:15,360 --> 00:27:17,520
And I was just watching like, damn, people are acting crazy.

728
00:27:17,520 --> 00:27:19,640
Then I go to my car and they stole my shit.

729
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:21,520
So I couldn't sell it.

730
00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:23,240
And then they stole my scale too.

731
00:27:23,240 --> 00:27:26,280
I had a kitchen scale in there, man.

732
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:30,480
Oh man, for the stuff I sell on eBay.

733
00:27:30,480 --> 00:27:31,480
Sell figures.

734
00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:32,480
Like toys.

735
00:27:32,480 --> 00:27:35,480
Oh, to like weigh it to ship?

736
00:27:35,480 --> 00:27:36,480
Yeah.

737
00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:38,680
Yeah, that's one way to use it.

738
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:41,480
Man, Brandon, you are like the definition of self-incrimination.

739
00:27:41,480 --> 00:27:42,480
Yeah.

740
00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:46,760
Brandon would have admitted to a crime he didn't do without a doubt.

741
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:47,760
Just sitting there, did you?

742
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:48,760
Oh man, I don't remember.

743
00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:49,760
I don't think so.

744
00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:50,760
Man, did I?

745
00:27:50,760 --> 00:27:56,200
You can have video evidence he wasn't there and he was still-

746
00:27:56,200 --> 00:27:58,480
Well, maybe I was in the peripheral view.

747
00:27:58,480 --> 00:27:59,480
He calls the cops.

748
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:01,600
He's like, there's a girl getting possessed.

749
00:28:01,600 --> 00:28:06,200
They stole my Patrick Starshoe's and my scale that I used to weigh the stuff I sell on eBay.

750
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:07,200
Oh yeah, I told them too.

751
00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:08,200
It's a bad day, dude.

752
00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:09,200
I did.

753
00:28:09,200 --> 00:28:11,920
I called up, I was like, yo, they stole my shoes and stuff, man.

754
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:12,920
My scale.

755
00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:13,920
So, what are we gonna do?

756
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:14,920
And they're like, man, I'm sorry.

757
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:15,920
I'm sorry.

758
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:16,920
They didn't do nothing.

759
00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:17,920
Of course, they didn't.

760
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:19,920
I know they can't do nothing to you.

761
00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:20,920
Lock your door next time.

762
00:28:20,920 --> 00:28:21,920
It was just a back trunk.

763
00:28:21,920 --> 00:28:23,280
They must have crawled through there.

764
00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:27,960
It's a lot of stuff in my trunk, so I applied them for that.

765
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:30,600
At least they have tenacity to get through.

766
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:33,120
Man, they probably got high in my car and all that shit.

767
00:28:33,120 --> 00:28:34,120
They were getting high too.

768
00:28:34,120 --> 00:28:35,720
You think they jerked off in there?

769
00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:36,720
They did.

770
00:28:36,720 --> 00:28:37,720
Without a doubt.

771
00:28:37,720 --> 00:28:38,720
That's all right.

772
00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:39,720
Without a doubt.

773
00:28:39,720 --> 00:28:40,720
That's all right.

774
00:28:40,720 --> 00:28:41,720
Oh my gosh.

775
00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:45,160
I don't know if he wants me to say his name, but there's a comedian who has the funniest

776
00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:48,240
story he told me about when he was in college.

777
00:28:48,240 --> 00:28:51,320
A homeless man broke in his truck and jerked off in there.

778
00:28:51,320 --> 00:28:53,040
And that was over ten years ago.

779
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:56,080
And still to this day, if it gets hot enough, you can smell it.

780
00:28:56,080 --> 00:28:57,080
Damn, man.

781
00:28:57,080 --> 00:29:01,720
And he's like, he had to explain to his wife after they got married.

782
00:29:01,720 --> 00:29:04,960
She's like, were you doing something in here?

783
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:06,600
Did you masturbate in your truck?

784
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:07,600
Are you serious that bad?

785
00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:08,600
Yeah.

786
00:29:08,600 --> 00:29:13,440
And he was like, no, I was this homeless guy from when I was in college.

787
00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:15,720
It's that fucking, that's some stank.

788
00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:16,720
Yeah, that's horrible.

789
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:21,800
I mean, he might have went multiple rounds with himself in there and just embedded it.

790
00:29:21,800 --> 00:29:25,280
Oh, ass cheeks just on the fucking leather or the cloth.

791
00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:26,280
You know it.

792
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:28,480
He probably didn't even shave too.

793
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:31,720
At that point, it doesn't matter if it's leather or cloth, bro.

794
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:33,520
Your car has been molested.

795
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:34,520
That's sad.

796
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:35,520
All right.

797
00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:36,520
Well, that's all for us today.

798
00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:37,520
That's good.

799
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:38,520
We learned a lot.

800
00:29:38,520 --> 00:29:39,520
I'm happy.

801
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:42,520
Yeah, we gave AJ a great intro.

802
00:29:42,520 --> 00:29:43,520
Yeah.

803
00:29:43,520 --> 00:29:44,520
Murder, jerking off.

804
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:45,520
How to get into your house.

805
00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:46,520
Yeah, man.

806
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:47,520
If you have a hammer or a brick, you can get into your house anytime.

807
00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:48,520
I'm just saying, man.

808
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:49,520
I'm sorry.

809
00:29:49,520 --> 00:29:50,520
You can break it down.

810
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:51,520
Or a key, man.

811
00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:52,520
I wanted to kick it in, but no, you can't.

812
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:53,520
Don't kick the door.

813
00:29:53,520 --> 00:29:54,520
All right.

814
00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:55,520
We got AJ O'Leary coming right after this.

815
00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:56,520
Oh, yeah.

816
00:29:56,520 --> 00:30:07,520
This week's featured comedian.

817
00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:20,360
You know what I've never seen anyone in a ski mask do?

818
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:21,360
Ski.

819
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:35,840
Even if I saw someone skiing in a ski mask, I'd be like, you're going to rob someone later.

820
00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:38,840
Tell me you're going to steal those skis at least.

821
00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:41,840
My little peace of mind.

822
00:30:41,840 --> 00:30:46,120
The next question I have for y'all.

823
00:30:46,120 --> 00:30:52,080
Y'all know who Peter Dinklage is, right?

824
00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:53,080
Game of Thrones actor.

825
00:30:53,080 --> 00:30:54,080
Sure.

826
00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:55,080
If you're not familiar, Peter Dinklage, very famous actor.

827
00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:56,080
He's four feet, five inches tall.

828
00:30:56,080 --> 00:30:57,080
All right.

829
00:30:57,080 --> 00:30:58,080
Name is Peter Dinklage, four foot five.

830
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:07,080
Do y'all think Peter Dinklage changed his name to sound more like a midget?

831
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:16,080
Like his name was Peter Longfellow.

832
00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:20,320
We got to introduce.

833
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:21,320
We do have to introduce.

834
00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:22,960
Today, we have a very special guest.

835
00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:27,280
Dude, we're on a fucking streak of having out of towners.

836
00:31:27,280 --> 00:31:30,760
Now this guy is somebody we've been trying to get on the podcast for a while.

837
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:32,240
He kept ducking the smoke.

838
00:31:32,240 --> 00:31:33,240
Ducking a lot.

839
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:34,240
But he's here now, dude.

840
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:35,400
He's fucking here.

841
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:40,320
He's the host of the funny business comedy showcase at Kerrigans in Birmingham.

842
00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:45,520
He also does the gray bar on Tuesday nights and open my cold nulls who will be on the

843
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:48,040
podcast next week or we'll shoot him.

844
00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:49,040
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

845
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:50,040
We'll see.

846
00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:51,040
He's coming on, dude.

847
00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:52,040
He's a writer.

848
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:53,040
He's a comic.

849
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:56,040
He's a fucking hell of a guy.

850
00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:57,040
I love him.

851
00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:58,040
He's gay.

852
00:31:58,040 --> 00:31:59,040
It's AJ O'Leary.

853
00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:04,040
Hey, thank you for coming on, brother.

854
00:32:04,040 --> 00:32:05,840
Oh, thanks for having me, dude.

855
00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:07,800
Not gay if you're watching Mom and Dad.

856
00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:08,800
Not gay.

857
00:32:08,800 --> 00:32:09,800
Up for interpretation.

858
00:32:09,800 --> 00:32:13,960
We like to fuck around.

859
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:17,040
We gave JJ a little one too many screwdrivers, so I want to keep feeding him.

860
00:32:17,040 --> 00:32:18,040
Oh, I love it.

861
00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:19,040
I love it.

862
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:20,040
Just for you.

863
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:21,040
I'm like a fucking handyman.

864
00:32:21,040 --> 00:32:22,040
I got so many screwdrivers.

865
00:32:22,040 --> 00:32:23,040
Yeah, we screwed them good, man.

866
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:24,040
We screwed them up.

867
00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:26,480
Well, you know, you could have said it a different way, brother.

868
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:28,240
We didn't have to say we screwed them.

869
00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:29,960
Please don't say that.

870
00:32:29,960 --> 00:32:33,100
My grandma will kick me out of the house.

871
00:32:33,100 --> 00:32:35,000
Don't give her another reason, man.

872
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:37,120
Hey, so how you...

873
00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:38,120
You're from Birmingham, right?

874
00:32:38,120 --> 00:32:39,120
You're a Birmingham comic?

875
00:32:39,120 --> 00:32:40,120
Yeah.

876
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:41,120
I mean, I live there now.

877
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:43,120
I'm from North Carolina, but yeah, I've lived in Birmingham a few years.

878
00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:44,120
You're from Calackey, huh?

879
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:45,120
Yeah, man.

880
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:46,120
Yeah, near Asheville.

881
00:32:46,120 --> 00:32:48,360
When did you move to Birmingham?

882
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:51,080
In two and a half years ago.

883
00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:53,080
Oh shit, so you're new.

884
00:32:53,080 --> 00:32:54,080
Damn.

885
00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:55,080
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

886
00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:56,080
Oh shit, I didn't know that.

887
00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:57,080
I thought you were just born and raised there.

888
00:32:57,080 --> 00:32:58,560
No, I have family in Birmingham.

889
00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:01,720
I have some cousins, but you know, I'm a newbie.

890
00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:02,720
Hell yeah.

891
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:03,720
Wait a minute, dude.

892
00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:04,720
What?

893
00:33:04,720 --> 00:33:05,720
Wait a minute, bro.

894
00:33:05,720 --> 00:33:06,720
What happened?

895
00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:07,720
Birmingham, Southern, dude.

896
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:10,080
Is that not where you went to college?

897
00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:12,120
I went to UNC Chapel Hill.

898
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:16,120
So that joke I've been saying for the past two months doesn't make any sense at all?

899
00:33:16,120 --> 00:33:22,680
Well, I kind of just, I wrote, I'm a journalist and I wrote about them closing.

900
00:33:22,680 --> 00:33:25,120
So I was like, oh, I guess, oh, he read the story.

901
00:33:25,120 --> 00:33:26,120
It's getting around.

902
00:33:26,120 --> 00:33:27,120
All right.

903
00:33:27,120 --> 00:33:31,320
You know, no, I've never read anything you wrote.

904
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:33,880
I thought you went to Birmingham Southern this entire time.

905
00:33:33,880 --> 00:33:36,880
Actually, I have read some things you wrote and I'm tired of this shit because we got

906
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:38,840
to call him out for what he wrote, dude.

907
00:33:38,840 --> 00:33:44,160
First of all, AJ O'Leary, you've heard it here on the Clown College Comedy Podcast first.

908
00:33:44,160 --> 00:33:47,400
He's anti-central and South American immigrant.

909
00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:50,520
He's also pro-child labor and I have the evidence to prove it, dude.

910
00:33:50,520 --> 00:33:51,520
Oh boy.

911
00:33:51,520 --> 00:33:58,360
May 21st, 2009 article from the Blue Ridge Now titled, Immaculata student is principal

912
00:33:58,360 --> 00:33:59,360
for a day.

913
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:00,360
A fifth grader.

914
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:04,840
They made him principal of the entire educational institution for an entire day, dude.

915
00:34:04,840 --> 00:34:05,840
Solid.

916
00:34:05,840 --> 00:34:06,840
Okay.

917
00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:10,520
So, I think, actually, 11 year old AJ O'Leary was quoted as saying, I think it's kind of

918
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:11,520
cool.

919
00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:12,520
Wow, man.

920
00:34:12,520 --> 00:34:14,840
He thinks child labor is kind of cool.

921
00:34:14,840 --> 00:34:15,840
Damn, Shane.

922
00:34:15,840 --> 00:34:16,840
Is that what you're into?

923
00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:17,840
What do you have to say about this?

924
00:34:17,840 --> 00:34:21,920
That is what they would have asked a fifth grader about.

925
00:34:21,920 --> 00:34:23,880
I didn't know I was principal for a day.

926
00:34:23,880 --> 00:34:25,600
Wow, this is a real walk down memory lane.

927
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:26,600
No, you weren't shit, dude.

928
00:34:26,600 --> 00:34:27,600
They just asked you.

929
00:34:27,600 --> 00:34:28,600
Oh, dang.

930
00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:29,600
You're a classmate.

931
00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:30,600
Hunter something.

932
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:31,600
Oh, Hunter Bickford.

933
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:34,600
Yeah, he was principal for a day.

934
00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:35,600
Wow, okay.

935
00:34:35,600 --> 00:34:41,760
AJ O'Leary, 11 year old version, was quoted as saying, I think it's kind of cool.

936
00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:43,640
And that's all you said.

937
00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:45,120
But not like very cool.

938
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:47,120
It's kind of.

939
00:34:47,120 --> 00:34:48,600
It's a little cool.

940
00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:49,600
Yeah.

941
00:34:49,600 --> 00:34:51,400
Sometimes they need to work with kids.

942
00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:53,240
For the betterment of us.

943
00:34:53,240 --> 00:34:54,240
You know what?

944
00:34:54,240 --> 00:34:59,600
I will actually go on the record as saying I am for child labor because my parents ran

945
00:34:59,600 --> 00:35:03,120
an old timey general store and we started working.

946
00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:05,280
They had us like behind the counter.

947
00:35:05,280 --> 00:35:06,280
That's it.

948
00:35:06,280 --> 00:35:07,800
When we were like nine and 10.

949
00:35:07,800 --> 00:35:11,360
So my parents used us for child labor.

950
00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:12,360
It worked out.

951
00:35:12,360 --> 00:35:13,760
Did you get paid for it or allowance or what?

952
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:15,000
Yeah, we got paid for it.

953
00:35:15,000 --> 00:35:16,000
You got paid for it?

954
00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:17,000
Yeah.

955
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:18,000
Under minimum wage though, right?

956
00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:19,000
I think it was minimum wage.

957
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:20,000
I think it was.

958
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:21,000
You really got minimum wage?

959
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:22,000
Yeah, I was getting.

960
00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:23,760
What is the minimum wage when I was like 10?

961
00:35:23,760 --> 00:35:25,240
And Chimney Rock, North Carolina.

962
00:35:25,240 --> 00:35:29,120
It might have been $7 at the time.

963
00:35:29,120 --> 00:35:30,120
That's pretty decent.

964
00:35:30,120 --> 00:35:31,120
Man, that's not bad.

965
00:35:31,120 --> 00:35:33,120
That's what branding is paid now.

966
00:35:33,120 --> 00:35:34,120
Oh yeah.

967
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:35,120
And I was in child labor too.

968
00:35:35,120 --> 00:35:38,120
When I started at 14, I know that that makes you happy.

969
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:39,120
That's more comfortable now.

970
00:35:39,120 --> 00:35:40,120
Yeah, it's more acceptable now.

971
00:35:40,120 --> 00:35:41,120
Yeah, it was good.

972
00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:42,120
I was in middle school.

973
00:35:42,120 --> 00:35:43,120
I only got it.

974
00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:44,120
Dang.

975
00:35:44,120 --> 00:35:49,120
It's only acceptable if you work for T-Mu, man.

976
00:35:49,120 --> 00:35:50,120
Yeah.

977
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:51,480
Oh, I knew it.

978
00:35:51,480 --> 00:35:52,480
That's true.

979
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:55,280
So what was your household like growing up?

980
00:35:55,280 --> 00:36:01,920
Two older sisters and my parents ran an old timey general store, Bubba O'Leary's general

981
00:36:01,920 --> 00:36:06,320
store, as you know from your research.

982
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:07,320
Catholic school.

983
00:36:07,320 --> 00:36:08,320
There we go.

984
00:36:08,320 --> 00:36:09,320
Small town.

985
00:36:09,320 --> 00:36:11,920
Andersonville High and Immaculata Catholic School.

986
00:36:11,920 --> 00:36:12,920
That's right.

987
00:36:12,920 --> 00:36:17,280
You have a population of 140 in Chimney Rock and that's only 14 people of color.

988
00:36:17,280 --> 00:36:19,280
That's a 10% ratio.

989
00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:21,200
It's not very good.

990
00:36:21,200 --> 00:36:22,200
Not very good.

991
00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:23,200
There's only 114 people?

992
00:36:23,200 --> 00:36:24,200
140.

993
00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:25,200
140 people?

994
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:26,200
Jeez.

995
00:36:26,200 --> 00:36:27,200
140 people of color.

996
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:28,200
Tiny.

997
00:36:28,200 --> 00:36:31,040
I didn't know that stat either.

998
00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:32,520
I knew it was around 100 people.

999
00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:34,520
We got the info, man.

1000
00:36:34,520 --> 00:36:35,520
Dang.

1001
00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:36,520
Wow.

1002
00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:37,520
You learned something new every day?

1003
00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:38,520
How big was your graduating class in?

1004
00:36:38,520 --> 00:36:39,520
Like 20?

1005
00:36:39,520 --> 00:36:42,000
I went to school 30 minutes away in Hendersonville.

1006
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:45,120
So it was like 180 people.

1007
00:36:45,120 --> 00:36:46,120
Oh, okay.

1008
00:36:46,120 --> 00:36:47,120
Decent.

1009
00:36:47,120 --> 00:36:48,120
So a decent size.

1010
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:49,120
Yeah.

1011
00:36:49,120 --> 00:36:52,120
It was just like a normal small high school.

1012
00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:53,120
Bearcats, man.

1013
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:55,640
Oh, you have a joke about that.

1014
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:57,240
I do have a joke about that.

1015
00:36:57,240 --> 00:36:59,880
Notice how these guys didn't remember.

1016
00:36:59,880 --> 00:37:01,480
I know a joke I like.

1017
00:37:01,480 --> 00:37:02,480
Foodies.

1018
00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:03,480
See?

1019
00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:04,960
Oh, I forgot about it.

1020
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:05,960
Yeah.

1021
00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:06,960
Jesus.

1022
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:07,960
Dang.

1023
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:10,120
You guys know my whole act.

1024
00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:11,440
I did stop telling that one.

1025
00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:12,440
Yeah, I like it though.

1026
00:37:12,440 --> 00:37:13,440
Oh, thanks, man.

1027
00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:17,000
I love how it divides the room, man.

1028
00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:18,360
Which is always the goal.

1029
00:37:18,360 --> 00:37:19,360
Yeah.

1030
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:22,080
It's always the goal because it's such a, you know, it's silly.

1031
00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:24,480
But people are like, what the fuck are you talking about?

1032
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:25,480
Yeah.

1033
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:26,480
Who's calling people fat?

1034
00:37:26,480 --> 00:37:27,480
Yeah.

1035
00:37:27,480 --> 00:37:28,480
I'm like, put your burrito down.

1036
00:37:28,480 --> 00:37:29,480
Thank you, man.

1037
00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:33,640
We had enchiladas today.

1038
00:37:33,640 --> 00:37:34,640
Yeah.

1039
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:38,760
Put your burrito down and cut it up like a man.

1040
00:37:38,760 --> 00:37:42,760
Put your burrito down and pour sauce on it.

1041
00:37:42,760 --> 00:37:45,640
I like that, man.

1042
00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:46,640
Pour that sauce on it.

1043
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:49,120
So AJ, you worked on an Alaskan tour bus.

1044
00:37:49,120 --> 00:37:50,120
Yes.

1045
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:51,120
Summer of 2018.

1046
00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:52,120
How was that like?

1047
00:37:52,120 --> 00:37:53,120
A tour boat.

1048
00:37:53,120 --> 00:37:54,120
The buses of the water, some say.

1049
00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:55,120
That's what I meant.

1050
00:37:55,120 --> 00:37:56,120
That's what's written in the notes.

1051
00:37:56,120 --> 00:37:57,120
Yeah, it's hard to find the words.

1052
00:37:57,120 --> 00:37:58,120
It's written boat.

1053
00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:05,120
Sometimes you know words get ahead of me.

1054
00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:08,120
I hear you.

1055
00:38:08,120 --> 00:38:09,120
What was that like?

1056
00:38:09,120 --> 00:38:10,360
Were you the tour guide?

1057
00:38:10,360 --> 00:38:11,360
Yeah.

1058
00:38:11,360 --> 00:38:12,920
So I was there for a summer.

1059
00:38:12,920 --> 00:38:20,600
I was 20 and we would go out and it was like being a waiter on a boat basically.

1060
00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:24,560
We would make chicken wraps every day with chicken that smelled like farts.

1061
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:26,560
That's the best guy.

1062
00:38:26,560 --> 00:38:27,560
Yeah.

1063
00:38:27,560 --> 00:38:28,560
I'll say.

1064
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:29,560
I don't know.

1065
00:38:29,560 --> 00:38:30,560
I disagree.

1066
00:38:30,560 --> 00:38:31,560
And then we would pass them.

1067
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:35,360
It would be like a six hour, we would get there and clean the boat and then it would

1068
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:40,200
be like a six hour tour and then people would get seasick and puke everywhere and we had

1069
00:38:40,200 --> 00:38:45,560
to clean it up and serve food and someone's always upset.

1070
00:38:45,560 --> 00:38:49,280
But then we would get to a glacier and people would freak out and be taking pictures and

1071
00:38:49,280 --> 00:38:52,000
we'd see an orca or something.

1072
00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:53,000
That badass.

1073
00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:59,600
And then we'd go back and I would get blackout drunk around a campfire with my coworkers.

1074
00:38:59,600 --> 00:39:00,600
That's pretty sick.

1075
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:02,000
That sounds like a dream.

1076
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,440
It was like maybe the greatest three months ever.

1077
00:39:04,440 --> 00:39:07,560
I'll take a controversial stance though dude.

1078
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:08,960
That was fun.

1079
00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:11,360
What's so great about Alaska man?

1080
00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:12,360
There's a glacier.

1081
00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:13,360
A glacier?

1082
00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:14,360
There's somebody committing suicide.

1083
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:18,960
The highest suicide rate in the US dude.

1084
00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:19,960
You know what's shocking?

1085
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:21,680
I didn't witness any suicides there.

1086
00:39:21,680 --> 00:39:22,680
That's crazy.

1087
00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:24,400
Is it fake news then?

1088
00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:27,760
Is that fucking liberal media news that's trying to pass this shit around?

1089
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:32,720
It's a very unpopulated state with a large amount of land dude.

1090
00:39:32,720 --> 00:39:36,400
So you know, if somebody kills herself in the woods.

1091
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:38,440
That's true.

1092
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:39,840
Did anyone hear the tree falling?

1093
00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:40,840
You know?

1094
00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:41,840
Anyways.

1095
00:39:41,840 --> 00:39:44,600
Did you have to fight off some polar bears and shit?

1096
00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:45,600
You know what?

1097
00:39:45,600 --> 00:39:51,920
I got up pretty, we saw some black bears like up pretty close, like 30 feet away and we were

1098
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:56,960
like yelling to like try and scare them off and then they ran away.

1099
00:39:56,960 --> 00:40:00,400
So it was kind of not that exciting of a story, but they were close.

1100
00:40:00,400 --> 00:40:01,400
But you ain't scared of bears.

1101
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:02,400
You're like fuck them.

1102
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:03,400
Yeah.

1103
00:40:03,400 --> 00:40:05,360
I mean they, I didn't look scared.

1104
00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:07,560
I thought I played it pretty cool, you know?

1105
00:40:07,560 --> 00:40:08,560
Yeah.

1106
00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:09,560
What'd you say?

1107
00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:10,560
Yeah, I flicked it off.

1108
00:40:10,560 --> 00:40:14,360
Oh my gosh man.

1109
00:40:14,360 --> 00:40:18,160
I think a park ranger had said like, just yell, hey bear.

1110
00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:20,960
So we were just yelling like, hey bear.

1111
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:23,760
It's very friendly, I feel like.

1112
00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:24,760
That's true.

1113
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:26,760
Yeah, it's kind of a mixed message, you know?

1114
00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:27,760
Hey bear!

1115
00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:28,760
Whatcha doing man?

1116
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:29,760
They don't know words.

1117
00:40:29,760 --> 00:40:30,760
That's awesome.

1118
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:31,760
They don't.

1119
00:40:31,760 --> 00:40:32,760
They don't.

1120
00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:33,760
They don't know words.

1121
00:40:33,760 --> 00:40:35,760
All right dude, I want to talk about this man.

1122
00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:36,880
Who you want to talk about?

1123
00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:37,880
Your anti-immigration.

1124
00:40:37,880 --> 00:40:38,880
Oh, South and South.

1125
00:40:38,880 --> 00:40:40,880
He's just coming in hot, dude.

1126
00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:41,880
Well.

1127
00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:42,880
Yeah, I just want to get down to it.

1128
00:40:42,880 --> 00:40:49,680
You actually referred to these South and Central American immigrants as Pest in a 2019 article

1129
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:51,560
from Mountain Express, dude.

1130
00:40:51,560 --> 00:40:56,880
The nine banded armadillo is invading Western North Carolina, man.

1131
00:40:56,880 --> 00:40:57,880
Damn man.

1132
00:40:57,880 --> 00:40:59,920
How do you feel about those armadillos?

1133
00:40:59,920 --> 00:41:00,920
How has the problem progressed?

1134
00:41:00,920 --> 00:41:01,920
They're pretty cool.

1135
00:41:01,920 --> 00:41:04,040
What's the state of the issue right now?

1136
00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:08,600
Well, you know, speaking of, you know, we were talking about getting paid under the

1137
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:09,880
table earlier.

1138
00:41:09,880 --> 00:41:14,000
No, I don't know.

1139
00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,800
Yeah, dude, it's weird.

1140
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:19,400
Armadillos are in North Carolina and they're there to stay.

1141
00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:22,880
I don't think that's that weird, man.

1142
00:41:22,880 --> 00:41:24,480
Oh, they're here.

1143
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:25,800
Yeah, they're just all dead.

1144
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:28,800
I've never seen them live.

1145
00:41:28,800 --> 00:41:31,720
Yeah, they're here to stay.

1146
00:41:31,720 --> 00:41:32,920
I read your article.

1147
00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:35,840
I read the entire article on the nine banded armadillos.

1148
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:42,960
I have some thoughts about what you said about climate change, but besides from that, salamander

1149
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:47,200
biodiversity is not limited to the East Appalachian region.

1150
00:41:47,200 --> 00:41:48,200
Okay.

1151
00:41:48,200 --> 00:41:52,640
Alabama is the number one biodiverse state in the United States of America.

1152
00:41:52,640 --> 00:41:53,640
Oh, do you know that?

1153
00:41:53,640 --> 00:41:54,640
I didn't know that.

1154
00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:59,320
Now in terms of salamanders, Georgia actually has the most species with 32.

1155
00:41:59,320 --> 00:42:00,320
Whoa.

1156
00:42:00,320 --> 00:42:01,320
Yeah, dude.

1157
00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:02,320
Dang, dude.

1158
00:42:02,320 --> 00:42:05,320
You put on the glasses and you're like a different person.

1159
00:42:05,320 --> 00:42:06,320
Yeah, dude, it's a mask.

1160
00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:07,320
It's a mask.

1161
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:08,320
I hate myself.

1162
00:42:08,320 --> 00:42:09,320
Yeah, we can talk about something normal now.

1163
00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:10,320
Hold on, hold on.

1164
00:42:10,320 --> 00:42:11,320
Armadillos.

1165
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:12,320
Sorry, I didn't get you.

1166
00:42:12,320 --> 00:42:21,560
I didn't really know what to get.

1167
00:42:21,560 --> 00:42:23,840
That's why I just wanted to say that you were anti-immigrant.

1168
00:42:23,840 --> 00:42:24,840
Oh yeah.

1169
00:42:24,840 --> 00:42:28,960
He's been juiced up about it.

1170
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:31,720
But I do have some puns that you wrote in the article.

1171
00:42:31,720 --> 00:42:33,440
Oh boy.

1172
00:42:33,440 --> 00:42:34,440
What the shell?

1173
00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:35,440
It's not in there.

1174
00:42:35,440 --> 00:42:36,440
Yes, it is.

1175
00:42:36,440 --> 00:42:37,440
Pull it up, Brandon.

1176
00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:38,440
It's in the note.

1177
00:42:38,440 --> 00:42:39,440
Hold on, hold on.

1178
00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:44,720
It's like when the article first starts, you have an image of a nine-banded armadillo and

1179
00:42:44,720 --> 00:42:47,560
the caption is, what the shell?

1180
00:42:47,560 --> 00:42:48,560
In all caps.

1181
00:42:48,560 --> 00:42:50,440
I swear it is, dude.

1182
00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:51,440
That's pretty great, actually.

1183
00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:52,440
I swear it is.

1184
00:42:52,440 --> 00:42:53,440
I'm glad that's in there.

1185
00:42:53,440 --> 00:42:55,160
And then you doubled down on the shell pun later.

1186
00:42:55,160 --> 00:42:59,160
So many sources, not in MLA format.

1187
00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:02,920
Dude, our editor, our research guy did not go to college.

1188
00:43:02,920 --> 00:43:04,920
You do not need to see my paperwork, man.

1189
00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:05,920
You're going to get on me.

1190
00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:06,920
See, I can't even say MLA.

1191
00:43:06,920 --> 00:43:09,920
There's going to be a lot of police reports, Bryn.

1192
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:10,920
MLA?

1193
00:43:10,920 --> 00:43:11,920
My ass.

1194
00:43:11,920 --> 00:43:12,920
You just copy and pasted out hyperlink.

1195
00:43:12,920 --> 00:43:13,920
Yeah.

1196
00:43:13,920 --> 00:43:14,920
I'm just letting y'all know.

1197
00:43:14,920 --> 00:43:15,920
Oh yeah.

1198
00:43:15,920 --> 00:43:16,920
Well, I ain't going to lie.

1199
00:43:16,920 --> 00:43:17,920
There it is.

1200
00:43:17,920 --> 00:43:20,920
Hey, look, what does it say right under the picture?

1201
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:21,920
What the shell?

1202
00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:23,880
What the shell?

1203
00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:24,880
That's incredible.

1204
00:43:24,880 --> 00:43:27,120
Armadillos roll into Western North Carolina.

1205
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:29,520
You're like a legit author, dude.

1206
00:43:29,520 --> 00:43:31,400
Yeah, I'm, yeah.

1207
00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:33,080
I didn't even get paid for this article.

1208
00:43:33,080 --> 00:43:34,920
I was an unpaid intern at the time.

1209
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:36,400
Sons of bitches.

1210
00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:39,960
Began their expansion throughout the US in the early 1800s.

1211
00:43:39,960 --> 00:43:41,960
How about that?

1212
00:43:41,960 --> 00:43:42,960
Rings a bell.

1213
00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:44,960
Rings a very familiar bell.

1214
00:43:44,960 --> 00:43:46,680
Hell yeah, man.

1215
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:49,000
And then look, you double down on the shell pun.

1216
00:43:49,000 --> 00:43:50,000
Shell shocks.

1217
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:51,000
Oh.

1218
00:43:51,000 --> 00:43:53,840
Call back, first of all.

1219
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:55,960
Stand up comedy master class right there.

1220
00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:59,880
Oh man, I read this whole article on stage one time.

1221
00:43:59,880 --> 00:44:00,880
Did you for real?

1222
00:44:00,880 --> 00:44:01,880
I can see you.

1223
00:44:01,880 --> 00:44:06,320
Guys, dude, it definitely took me longer than five minutes to get through this piece of shit.

1224
00:44:06,320 --> 00:44:07,320
Yeah, dude.

1225
00:44:07,320 --> 00:44:09,840
Jesus Christ.

1226
00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:10,840
I'm sorry, AJ.

1227
00:44:10,840 --> 00:44:11,840
It was very good.

1228
00:44:11,840 --> 00:44:13,520
I actually really liked it.

1229
00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:19,320
I do have some feelings about what you said about climate change and the salamanders,

1230
00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:20,320
dude.

1231
00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:21,320
I like it.

1232
00:44:21,320 --> 00:44:22,320
What the fuck are you guys keep on talking about?

1233
00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:23,320
It's our armadillos.

1234
00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:24,320
Salamanders are in there, dude.

1235
00:44:24,320 --> 00:44:26,320
It's kind of a salamander or some shit?

1236
00:44:26,320 --> 00:44:27,320
No, no.

1237
00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:30,200
I mean, I don't get why you guys keep on talking about armadillos.

1238
00:44:30,200 --> 00:44:31,200
Kind of salamander.

1239
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:32,520
Because they're both animals.

1240
00:44:32,520 --> 00:44:34,320
I guess I talked about it in the article.

1241
00:44:34,320 --> 00:44:35,320
I didn't actually even know.

1242
00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:38,280
But in there, you consulted an expert, Reynolds, I believe.

1243
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:40,520
I don't remember his first name or her.

1244
00:44:40,520 --> 00:44:41,520
Let's see.

1245
00:44:41,520 --> 00:44:42,520
Let's keep going down.

1246
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:43,520
Marching on.

1247
00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:44,520
Ooh.

1248
00:44:44,520 --> 00:44:45,520
Uptainted.

1249
00:44:45,520 --> 00:44:46,520
Armadillos.

1250
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:48,840
I also like how you put this getting hot in here.

1251
00:44:48,840 --> 00:44:50,560
Somebody's going to be like, what you mean it's getting hot?

1252
00:44:50,560 --> 00:44:53,400
Although climate change can affect the distribution of many species.

1253
00:44:53,400 --> 00:44:54,400
I love your puns, man.

1254
00:44:54,400 --> 00:44:55,400
Oh, thank you.

1255
00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:56,400
Ooh, ooh.

1256
00:44:56,400 --> 00:44:57,400
I see it.

1257
00:44:57,400 --> 00:44:58,400
The salamander's right there.

1258
00:44:58,400 --> 00:44:59,400
Yep.

1259
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:00,400
Look at that.

1260
00:45:00,400 --> 00:45:01,400
Of South Appalachia.

1261
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:02,400
South Appalachia.

1262
00:45:02,400 --> 00:45:03,400
Oh.

1263
00:45:03,400 --> 00:45:04,400
I'm sorry.

1264
00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:07,400
I'm in my scholarly mindset right now, dude.

1265
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:08,400
What is that?

1266
00:45:08,400 --> 00:45:09,400
Appalachia.

1267
00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:10,400
South.

1268
00:45:10,400 --> 00:45:11,400
What does it say?

1269
00:45:11,400 --> 00:45:12,400
Southern Appalachia.

1270
00:45:12,400 --> 00:45:13,400
OK.

1271
00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:18,960
One group, or one such group, is the various salamanders of Southern Appalachia.

1272
00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:23,000
A southern region, Reynolds.

1273
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:24,760
Ah, fuck.

1274
00:45:24,760 --> 00:45:25,760
Ryan Reynolds.

1275
00:45:25,760 --> 00:45:26,760
OK.

1276
00:45:26,760 --> 00:45:31,400
Reynolds calls the global hotspot for salamander biodiversity.

1277
00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:32,400
Hey.

1278
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:33,400
Cheers, baby.

1279
00:45:33,400 --> 00:45:34,400
Come here.

1280
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:35,400
Thank you, man.

1281
00:45:35,400 --> 00:45:36,400
Let's cheers.

1282
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:37,400
Cheers.

1283
00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:38,400
Cheers to that.

1284
00:45:38,400 --> 00:45:39,400
Cheers to biodiversity.

1285
00:45:39,400 --> 00:45:40,400
Cheers to biodiversity.

1286
00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:43,360
You know, I don't fuck with hawks, if that helps.

1287
00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:44,640
I don't fuck with hawks.

1288
00:45:44,640 --> 00:45:48,440
Like, how he doesn't fuck with armadillos.

1289
00:45:48,440 --> 00:45:49,880
I don't fuck with hawks.

1290
00:45:49,880 --> 00:45:51,560
You don't like armadillos, man?

1291
00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:53,000
I don't dislike armadillos.

1292
00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:54,000
I don't care about them.

1293
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:55,000
I have never had a thought about armadillos.

1294
00:45:55,000 --> 00:45:58,080
AJ has some very strong feelings about them.

1295
00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:00,560
That one time, I see them on the side of the road.

1296
00:46:00,560 --> 00:46:04,640
I just think, oh, damn, they can die even though they got the shield.

1297
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:05,640
They can jump.

1298
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:11,400
What were we talking about?

1299
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:13,720
We didn't just cut because one of the cameras went out.

1300
00:46:13,720 --> 00:46:14,720
No.

1301
00:46:14,720 --> 00:46:15,720
We would never do that.

1302
00:46:15,720 --> 00:46:17,760
And it totally isn't propped up on a trash can, either.

1303
00:46:17,760 --> 00:46:18,760
That never happened.

1304
00:46:18,760 --> 00:46:21,000
If you said it did, we'll kill you.

1305
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:24,840
This is the best fucking studio you've ever been in, right?

1306
00:46:24,840 --> 00:46:25,840
The best.

1307
00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:26,840
The only.

1308
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:27,840
Thank you.

1309
00:46:27,840 --> 00:46:28,840
The best.

1310
00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:29,840
The only studio.

1311
00:46:29,840 --> 00:46:31,320
We're going to be putting on local news.

1312
00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:33,760
Oh, bring up the imagery.

1313
00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:35,120
Yes, let's show that image.

1314
00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:36,920
I really like that personally, man.

1315
00:46:36,920 --> 00:46:39,520
Because, dude, that set of hair you had on there really.

1316
00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:40,520
What were you talking about?

1317
00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:41,520
Let me.

1318
00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:42,520
You'll see.

1319
00:46:42,520 --> 00:46:43,520
Oh, who even knows?

1320
00:46:43,520 --> 00:46:44,520
Look right there.

1321
00:46:44,520 --> 00:46:45,520
So perfect.

1322
00:46:45,520 --> 00:46:46,520
Look at that.

1323
00:46:46,520 --> 00:46:47,520
Zoom in on that.

1324
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:48,520
Enhance.

1325
00:46:48,520 --> 00:46:49,520
OK, enhance.

1326
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:50,520
Where's the enhance?

1327
00:46:50,520 --> 00:46:51,520
Zoom on the left.

1328
00:46:51,520 --> 00:46:52,520
There we go.

1329
00:46:52,520 --> 00:46:53,520
We got it.

1330
00:46:53,520 --> 00:46:54,520
We got it cooking.

1331
00:46:54,520 --> 00:46:55,520
Yeah, dude.

1332
00:46:55,520 --> 00:46:56,520
Holy shit.

1333
00:46:56,520 --> 00:46:57,520
Look at that.

1334
00:46:57,520 --> 00:46:58,520
I told you.

1335
00:46:58,520 --> 00:46:59,520
I'm the guy.

1336
00:46:59,520 --> 00:47:00,520
I'm the guy on the right.

1337
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:01,520
You want to take a picture of that?

1338
00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:02,520
Yeah.

1339
00:47:02,520 --> 00:47:03,520
Wait.

1340
00:47:03,520 --> 00:47:04,520
Interest rates.

1341
00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:05,520
You're going to be a brand new believer.

1342
00:47:05,520 --> 00:47:06,520
I almost did.

1343
00:47:06,520 --> 00:47:09,040
What's happening in the top right corner?

1344
00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:10,040
I was.

1345
00:47:10,040 --> 00:47:11,600
That's when Be Real was a bit.

1346
00:47:11,600 --> 00:47:14,200
I did a Be Real on stage.

1347
00:47:14,200 --> 00:47:15,200
Pretty cool.

1348
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:16,200
Oh, that is cool.

1349
00:47:16,200 --> 00:47:17,200
Hell yeah.

1350
00:47:17,200 --> 00:47:18,200
That's cool as fuck.

1351
00:47:18,200 --> 00:47:19,200
That makes a lot more sense now.

1352
00:47:19,200 --> 00:47:20,200
What's a Be Real?

1353
00:47:20,200 --> 00:47:21,680
Well, first of all, you're 45 years old.

1354
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:22,960
We'll explain this one.

1355
00:47:22,960 --> 00:47:27,200
Be Real was a social media app that was popular for a couple months.

1356
00:47:27,200 --> 00:47:28,640
Probably longer than that.

1357
00:47:28,640 --> 00:47:31,960
But it went off at the same time for everybody.

1358
00:47:31,960 --> 00:47:35,440
So if you had the Be Real app, it was like, it's time to be real.

1359
00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:39,480
And I know that because all my coworkers at Topgolf used to go like, guys, it's time to

1360
00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:40,480
be real.

1361
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:41,760
And it was the worst.

1362
00:47:41,760 --> 00:47:43,560
And you would get a notification.

1363
00:47:43,560 --> 00:47:47,640
You would go on and you'd take a picture of exactly where you were with the forward facing

1364
00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:50,120
camera and the outward facing camera.

1365
00:47:50,120 --> 00:47:53,540
And it's just supposed to be like a real social media.

1366
00:47:53,540 --> 00:47:57,320
People totally didn't wait till they were somewhere cooler than they actually were.

1367
00:47:57,320 --> 00:47:58,320
Okay.

1368
00:47:58,320 --> 00:48:02,120
Were you at like a meeting here or what's going on?

1369
00:48:02,120 --> 00:48:03,120
What's happening?

1370
00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:04,120
Not even a comedy show.

1371
00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:07,200
You just outed all these people.

1372
00:48:07,200 --> 00:48:09,120
I see Jonathan Silver on the left.

1373
00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:11,120
Oh shit, I see him too.

1374
00:48:11,120 --> 00:48:12,120
Oh shit.

1375
00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:14,680
It's just not Jonathan Silver.

1376
00:48:14,680 --> 00:48:16,720
Another bald black dude with a beard.

1377
00:48:16,720 --> 00:48:18,040
Love that man.

1378
00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:19,760
I thought it was him for a second when he said it.

1379
00:48:19,760 --> 00:48:21,200
All right, Jake's there somewhere.

1380
00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:22,200
Choose any of the women.

1381
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:23,200
It's him.

1382
00:48:23,200 --> 00:48:24,200
That's right, dude.

1383
00:48:24,200 --> 00:48:25,200
Hell yeah.

1384
00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:30,040
So what was it like being on the news?

1385
00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:32,840
How many times did you do this?

1386
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:34,720
They bring me on once a month.

1387
00:48:34,720 --> 00:48:35,720
Oh, you still go?

1388
00:48:35,720 --> 00:48:36,720
Yeah, yeah.

1389
00:48:36,720 --> 00:48:39,240
The newspaper I work at, we have kind of an agreement.

1390
00:48:39,240 --> 00:48:41,740
They bring us on to talk about articles.

1391
00:48:41,740 --> 00:48:44,400
So what's the last article you talked about?

1392
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:45,400
It's very exciting.

1393
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:47,440
Or the best one, whatever one, whichever.

1394
00:48:47,440 --> 00:48:48,440
Your favorite.

1395
00:48:48,440 --> 00:48:52,680
They all kind of are not interesting.

1396
00:48:52,680 --> 00:49:00,200
But the last one was just about less lawsuits go to trial today than in the past.

1397
00:49:00,200 --> 00:49:01,960
You ever try to crack a joke on that?

1398
00:49:01,960 --> 00:49:02,960
Yeah, that's good.

1399
00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:04,440
Actually, I'm going through a lawsuit right now.

1400
00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:05,440
Oh really?

1401
00:49:05,440 --> 00:49:06,440
Yeah.

1402
00:49:06,440 --> 00:49:07,440
Oh dang.

1403
00:49:07,440 --> 00:49:08,440
Accidentally killed somebody.

1404
00:49:08,440 --> 00:49:11,720
Vehicular manslaughter is what they're calling it.

1405
00:49:11,720 --> 00:49:13,360
Got out of the criminal charges.

1406
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:16,720
That settlement will get you though.

1407
00:49:16,720 --> 00:49:18,720
He forgot to read me the Miranda rights.

1408
00:49:18,720 --> 00:49:20,360
So, got off.

1409
00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:22,240
Did his shoes fly off?

1410
00:49:22,240 --> 00:49:23,600
His shoes did fly off.

1411
00:49:23,600 --> 00:49:29,400
When you hit somebody at a very fast speed, the shoes fly off every time.

1412
00:49:29,400 --> 00:49:30,400
Whoa.

1413
00:49:30,400 --> 00:49:31,400
That's full fill out.

1414
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:36,120
Three times has happened.

1415
00:49:36,120 --> 00:49:37,600
Nobody ties them right there.

1416
00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:39,440
People say I should stop drinking.

1417
00:49:39,440 --> 00:49:40,440
Bitches.

1418
00:49:40,440 --> 00:49:45,520
I feel like that could have been a separate issue.

1419
00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:51,000
Do you ever crack a joke on the news AJ?

1420
00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:52,000
No.

1421
00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:53,000
You ever?

1422
00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:54,000
I wish I had.

1423
00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:55,600
No, I want to.

1424
00:49:55,600 --> 00:49:56,600
Look at that stance though.

1425
00:49:56,600 --> 00:49:57,600
That's a serious stance.

1426
00:49:57,600 --> 00:49:58,600
Oh yeah.

1427
00:49:58,600 --> 00:49:59,600
Well, he's shitting.

1428
00:49:59,600 --> 00:50:00,760
I have.

1429
00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:06,800
One time the guy we were making, he was trying to banter before going live.

1430
00:50:06,800 --> 00:50:09,400
We don't go live, but before taping.

1431
00:50:09,400 --> 00:50:12,720
He just asked me what my rent was.

1432
00:50:12,720 --> 00:50:16,520
I just see this guy once a month and he was like, what are you paying rent?

1433
00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:18,840
I was like, I don't know.

1434
00:50:18,840 --> 00:50:20,840
What's your mortgage dude?

1435
00:50:20,840 --> 00:50:23,520
That's an odd thing to ask.

1436
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:26,360
What just to talk about?

1437
00:50:26,360 --> 00:50:30,360
How much did you pay for that hair replacement in Turkey?

1438
00:50:30,360 --> 00:50:31,360
As you can see.

1439
00:50:31,360 --> 00:50:32,360
That's a strong part.

1440
00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:33,360
It's a strong part.

1441
00:50:33,360 --> 00:50:34,920
I don't think it's a purposeful part.

1442
00:50:34,920 --> 00:50:37,200
I think it's mandatory with his cut.

1443
00:50:37,200 --> 00:50:40,400
Is this the guy that you go in there with every day?

1444
00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:41,400
Pretty much.

1445
00:50:41,400 --> 00:50:42,400
I mean every month?

1446
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:43,400
Pretty much.

1447
00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:44,400
What's his name?

1448
00:50:44,400 --> 00:50:45,400
Mike Doubberly.

1449
00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:46,400
Mike Doubberly.

1450
00:50:46,400 --> 00:50:48,400
I'm looking for him.

1451
00:50:48,400 --> 00:50:53,480
Before I find him, I'm going to be like, hey, what are you paying him rent?

1452
00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:54,480
Please.

1453
00:50:54,480 --> 00:50:58,080
He didn't tell me, so I'm glad I didn't tell him.

1454
00:50:58,080 --> 00:51:00,240
Don't you hate when people do that?

1455
00:51:00,240 --> 00:51:03,200
We were at Moody Monday, singing karaoke.

1456
00:51:03,200 --> 00:51:04,200
We're outside.

1457
00:51:04,200 --> 00:51:05,200
This guy comes up.

1458
00:51:05,200 --> 00:51:06,920
It's a group of, we don't know him.

1459
00:51:06,920 --> 00:51:09,080
He's like, hey, what do you guys all do?

1460
00:51:09,080 --> 00:51:13,240
He starts pointing at people and I'm fucked up because it's like one person's a scientist

1461
00:51:13,240 --> 00:51:14,240
for real.

1462
00:51:14,240 --> 00:51:17,000
The next person is an engineer.

1463
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:18,000
They're like, what do you do?

1464
00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:19,000
I'm like, I go to school.

1465
00:51:19,000 --> 00:51:20,000
They're like, aren't you like 40?

1466
00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:21,000
I was like, yeah.

1467
00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:22,000
Yeah, but I still like go to school.

1468
00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:23,000
I just had to say that.

1469
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:24,000
He never told us what he fucking did.

1470
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:33,000
He went around the room and made everybody say what they did and then he didn't fucking

1471
00:51:33,000 --> 00:51:34,000
say anything.

1472
00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:35,000
He's just trying to get ideas.

1473
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:40,000
First of all, Dom, Alcoholics Anonymous is not school.

1474
00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:42,520
That's more of a social club.

1475
00:51:42,520 --> 00:51:44,880
It's an extracurricular, actually.

1476
00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:47,160
More of a social club, yeah.

1477
00:51:47,160 --> 00:51:48,920
Good way to meet women.

1478
00:51:48,920 --> 00:51:50,920
It is, actually.

1479
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:53,400
They're probably loose.

1480
00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:55,520
If they're there.

1481
00:51:55,520 --> 00:51:59,480
If they're going through withdrawals, they're probably not the most pleasant people to be

1482
00:51:59,480 --> 00:52:00,480
around.

1483
00:52:00,480 --> 00:52:03,280
They're trying to find something to fill the void and that void could be your dick.

1484
00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:04,280
Oh yeah.

1485
00:52:04,280 --> 00:52:05,280
That's right.

1486
00:52:05,280 --> 00:52:11,000
That's a good Twitter bio.

1487
00:52:11,000 --> 00:52:15,880
Brandon, don't you have some questions?

1488
00:52:15,880 --> 00:52:16,880
Yes, I do.

1489
00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:17,880
I have a question.

1490
00:52:17,880 --> 00:52:18,880
I see here.

1491
00:52:18,880 --> 00:52:20,160
Let me pull this up, man.

1492
00:52:20,160 --> 00:52:22,160
I'm glad that you came here today.

1493
00:52:22,160 --> 00:52:26,320
You used to play guard for your Hendersonville J.B. basketball team, right?

1494
00:52:26,320 --> 00:52:27,320
Yes, I did.

1495
00:52:27,320 --> 00:52:28,320
So you can play ball?

1496
00:52:28,320 --> 00:52:29,320
Kind of, yeah.

1497
00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:32,320
Okay, well, you want to be on my team?

1498
00:52:32,320 --> 00:52:37,400
When I play them, man.

1499
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:38,880
I'm trying to build a team that's good.

1500
00:52:38,880 --> 00:52:40,360
Excuse me, you and Brandon versus me and J.B.

1501
00:52:40,360 --> 00:52:41,360
I would love to.

1502
00:52:41,360 --> 00:52:42,360
Thank you.

1503
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:44,360
If we're playing other comedians, I can play basketball.

1504
00:52:44,360 --> 00:52:45,360
Oh, dude.

1505
00:52:45,360 --> 00:52:46,360
I mean, yeah, we'll be all right.

1506
00:52:46,360 --> 00:52:47,360
So you're the guard.

1507
00:52:47,360 --> 00:52:51,960
We could get a five on five game and record it for the Clown College.

1508
00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:55,320
Yeah, but you know, five on five, that means full court.

1509
00:52:55,320 --> 00:52:58,000
You have time to train.

1510
00:52:58,000 --> 00:52:59,000
You need to, man.

1511
00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:00,000
This is an intervention.

1512
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:05,360
Yeah, but that's what I want, man.

1513
00:53:05,360 --> 00:53:07,040
What kind of shots do you do?

1514
00:53:07,040 --> 00:53:09,840
I mean, I'm like, no.

1515
00:53:09,840 --> 00:53:10,840
What?

1516
00:53:10,840 --> 00:53:11,840
No.

1517
00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:12,840
A little bit?

1518
00:53:12,840 --> 00:53:15,200
Mid-range turnaround jump shot fadeaway.

1519
00:53:15,200 --> 00:53:17,000
If you're taking it to the rack, I'm...

1520
00:53:17,000 --> 00:53:18,000
I am kind of take...

1521
00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:21,560
I wanted to take it to the rack.

1522
00:53:21,560 --> 00:53:26,720
I got kind of good at finishing around the rim, but I'm really slow, so it just doesn't

1523
00:53:26,720 --> 00:53:27,720
make sense.

1524
00:53:27,720 --> 00:53:32,960
It's like, if I'm already there, I can kind of do it, but I can't really get there.

1525
00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:34,720
You don't have the first step, quick first step?

1526
00:53:34,720 --> 00:53:35,720
No, not at all.

1527
00:53:35,720 --> 00:53:37,360
How do you get there then?

1528
00:53:37,360 --> 00:53:39,200
I never did get there.

1529
00:53:39,200 --> 00:53:41,080
What was your signature move?

1530
00:53:41,080 --> 00:53:42,080
What was your move?

1531
00:53:42,080 --> 00:53:43,080
You know what?

1532
00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:47,600
When I was a junior, I played one season of varsity.

1533
00:53:47,600 --> 00:53:49,440
I scored one basket.

1534
00:53:49,440 --> 00:53:52,800
It was senior night, and they put me in in the last five minutes.

1535
00:53:52,800 --> 00:53:53,800
Hell yeah.

1536
00:53:53,800 --> 00:53:57,080
I did a left hand layup euro step, scored.

1537
00:53:57,080 --> 00:53:58,080
Oh, damn.

1538
00:53:58,080 --> 00:53:59,080
Crowd went crazy.

1539
00:53:59,080 --> 00:54:00,080
Hell yeah, man.

1540
00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:02,280
And then with the euro, old James Harden over here?

1541
00:54:02,280 --> 00:54:05,120
My parents still tell that story at the dinner table sometimes.

1542
00:54:05,120 --> 00:54:08,160
It's all they have.

1543
00:54:08,160 --> 00:54:09,160
It's all they have.

1544
00:54:09,160 --> 00:54:13,320
It's going to be good though, because I was in JV too, man, but back in the day, this

1545
00:54:13,320 --> 00:54:15,920
is when I was trash, ass, and fat, and very small.

1546
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:16,920
It was horrible.

1547
00:54:16,920 --> 00:54:19,920
Dude, they used to smack it out of my hand and shit.

1548
00:54:19,920 --> 00:54:20,920
My family would be there.

1549
00:54:20,920 --> 00:54:22,760
I remember me and my friend, we were playing, he started crying.

1550
00:54:22,760 --> 00:54:23,760
I was trying to cheer him up.

1551
00:54:23,760 --> 00:54:24,760
Dude.

1552
00:54:24,760 --> 00:54:25,760
Why was he crying?

1553
00:54:25,760 --> 00:54:26,760
Dude, because we were playing so bad.

1554
00:54:26,760 --> 00:54:27,760
That's why.

1555
00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:28,760
Our whole family was there.

1556
00:54:28,760 --> 00:54:29,760
He wasn't used to it by then?

1557
00:54:29,760 --> 00:54:30,760
Dude, it was horrible.

1558
00:54:30,760 --> 00:54:37,640
We only had one dude, and he would run up and do those weird ass tricks and do that little

1559
00:54:37,640 --> 00:54:39,560
close to dunking, but he couldn't dunk thing.

1560
00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:40,560
Okay.

1561
00:54:40,560 --> 00:54:41,560
Yeah.

1562
00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:42,560
It's called a layup.

1563
00:54:42,560 --> 00:54:43,560
Yeah, but now, yeah, layup.

1564
00:54:43,560 --> 00:54:44,840
But now I can do it.

1565
00:54:44,840 --> 00:54:46,560
So me and you, we're going to go on the paint.

1566
00:54:46,560 --> 00:54:48,280
We're going to have to find a three point shooter though.

1567
00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:49,280
Yeah.

1568
00:54:49,280 --> 00:54:50,280
We're going to have to find three point.

1569
00:54:50,280 --> 00:54:51,280
Matthew Lumbra.

1570
00:54:51,280 --> 00:54:52,280
Matthew Lumbra.

1571
00:54:52,280 --> 00:54:53,280
So Lumbra's on y'all team.

1572
00:54:53,280 --> 00:54:54,280
If you can shoot a three point.

1573
00:54:54,280 --> 00:54:56,920
So it's me, JJ, and Syfy then.

1574
00:54:56,920 --> 00:54:57,920
Oh, fuck.

1575
00:54:57,920 --> 00:54:58,920
Okay.

1576
00:54:58,920 --> 00:54:59,920
Versus you, AJ, or Larry.

1577
00:54:59,920 --> 00:55:00,920
And Lumbra.

1578
00:55:00,920 --> 00:55:01,920
And Lumbra.

1579
00:55:01,920 --> 00:55:02,920
Yes.

1580
00:55:02,920 --> 00:55:03,920
I feel like that's fair.

1581
00:55:03,920 --> 00:55:04,920
We'll see how it goes.

1582
00:55:04,920 --> 00:55:05,920
Can you guys play?

1583
00:55:05,920 --> 00:55:09,200
No, I'm terrible, but I'm big enough to get rebounded and shit.

1584
00:55:09,200 --> 00:55:10,200
I'll just push you.

1585
00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:11,200
I will foul you.

1586
00:55:11,200 --> 00:55:12,200
Okay.

1587
00:55:12,200 --> 00:55:13,200
That's fine.

1588
00:55:13,200 --> 00:55:14,200
So you will get fouled.

1589
00:55:14,200 --> 00:55:15,200
All right.

1590
00:55:15,200 --> 00:55:16,200
And we won't be calling it.

1591
00:55:16,200 --> 00:55:17,200
That's what we're doing.

1592
00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:18,200
That's what we're doing.

1593
00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:19,200
Street ball, man.

1594
00:55:19,200 --> 00:55:20,200
Old fashioned street ball.

1595
00:55:20,200 --> 00:55:21,200
Yeah, man.

1596
00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:22,200
Anything goes.

1597
00:55:22,200 --> 00:55:23,200
Hey, man.

1598
00:55:23,200 --> 00:55:24,200
I'm from Chimney Rock.

1599
00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:25,200
Ooh, see?

1600
00:55:25,200 --> 00:55:26,200
Gay, gay.

1601
00:55:26,200 --> 00:55:27,200
Tell them what's up, dawg.

1602
00:55:27,200 --> 00:55:28,200
Yeah, gang.

1603
00:55:28,200 --> 00:55:29,200
CR, baby.

1604
00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:30,200
The 828.

1605
00:55:30,200 --> 00:55:35,200
It gets up like a chimney passing the rock, dude.

1606
00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:41,040
I didn't like it before I said it, dude.

1607
00:55:41,040 --> 00:55:42,040
But I still did, dude.

1608
00:55:42,040 --> 00:55:43,040
It's called perseverance.

1609
00:55:43,040 --> 00:55:45,000
It's what you want in a basketball player.

1610
00:55:45,000 --> 00:55:46,000
That's right.

1611
00:55:46,000 --> 00:55:52,160
So if the Birmingham team had a basketball team, who would be Dennis Rodman and why is

1612
00:55:52,160 --> 00:55:53,160
it Jeremiah Cotton?

1613
00:55:53,160 --> 00:55:54,160
Damn.

1614
00:55:54,160 --> 00:55:58,840
Should you tell AJ what you call him, dude?

1615
00:55:58,840 --> 00:56:00,840
Wait, talk about slave face?

1616
00:56:00,840 --> 00:56:04,320
AJ, he does have a very slave face.

1617
00:56:04,320 --> 00:56:05,720
We'll put a picture of him up right here.

1618
00:56:05,720 --> 00:56:07,960
Please, Alex, will you put a picture of him?

1619
00:56:07,960 --> 00:56:09,400
I'll say it's you.

1620
00:56:09,400 --> 00:56:10,760
We'll have it right here.

1621
00:56:10,760 --> 00:56:18,160
As you can tell, what I'm saying is how the temple's protruded, right?

1622
00:56:18,160 --> 00:56:20,320
Sunken cheekbones, temple's protruded.

1623
00:56:20,320 --> 00:56:21,320
Exactly.

1624
00:56:21,320 --> 00:56:22,320
It's phrenology.

1625
00:56:22,320 --> 00:56:25,600
And it's giving, you know what I'm saying?

1626
00:56:25,600 --> 00:56:28,020
He lives outside.

1627
00:56:28,020 --> 00:56:30,920
Maybe he has short capri pants on that are weathered at the bottom.

1628
00:56:30,920 --> 00:56:32,320
His name isn't helping.

1629
00:56:32,320 --> 00:56:34,760
And his name is Jeremiah Cotton.

1630
00:56:34,760 --> 00:56:36,680
He's a funny dude.

1631
00:56:36,680 --> 00:56:37,680
I love Jeremiah.

1632
00:56:37,680 --> 00:56:42,480
But he does have a slave face and I won't stand here and not say it.

1633
00:56:42,480 --> 00:56:46,080
And I won't stand here and not say it.

1634
00:56:46,080 --> 00:56:47,080
Damn.

1635
00:56:47,080 --> 00:56:50,040
You're not standing and you definitely said it.

1636
00:56:50,040 --> 00:56:54,960
So who else you got?

1637
00:56:54,960 --> 00:56:55,960
Who's the Bacchaljoy?

1638
00:56:55,960 --> 00:56:58,480
Who's the starting five of the Birmingham team?

1639
00:56:58,480 --> 00:57:00,560
And if you say Kenny's in there, dude.

1640
00:57:00,560 --> 00:57:01,560
No.

1641
00:57:01,560 --> 00:57:02,560
I'm not saying that.

1642
00:57:02,560 --> 00:57:03,560
I'm saying that.

1643
00:57:03,560 --> 00:57:04,560
Kenny's a dope boy.

1644
00:57:04,560 --> 00:57:05,560
Kenny knows who he is.

1645
00:57:05,560 --> 00:57:10,600
And Scott Easton called him melted ice cube.

1646
00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:13,000
Cole played high school basketball.

1647
00:57:13,000 --> 00:57:15,560
All right, so we're losing.

1648
00:57:15,560 --> 00:57:17,800
And then this guy, Miles Bryson.

1649
00:57:17,800 --> 00:57:20,960
I don't know if you guys have met him.

1650
00:57:20,960 --> 00:57:25,800
I don't even know if he played basketball, but he just is like probably six, maybe close

1651
00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:28,320
to six three and like an athlete.

1652
00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:29,320
He's probably in there.

1653
00:57:29,320 --> 00:57:30,320
Black or white?

1654
00:57:30,320 --> 00:57:31,320
Black.

1655
00:57:31,320 --> 00:57:32,320
Who else?

1656
00:57:32,320 --> 00:57:35,320
I'll put myself in there just cause.

1657
00:57:35,320 --> 00:57:36,320
Yeah, you got to.

1658
00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:37,320
You're point guard, right?

1659
00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:38,320
Point guard.

1660
00:57:38,320 --> 00:57:39,320
Yeah.

1661
00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:40,320
Yeah.

1662
00:57:40,320 --> 00:57:41,320
John Stockton on him.

1663
00:57:41,320 --> 00:57:42,320
That's right.

1664
00:57:42,320 --> 00:57:43,320
Are you white chocolate?

1665
00:57:43,320 --> 00:57:44,320
No, John Stockton.

1666
00:57:44,320 --> 00:57:45,320
John Stockton.

1667
00:57:45,320 --> 00:57:46,320
Yeah.

1668
00:57:46,320 --> 00:57:47,320
I don't have white chocolate in me.

1669
00:57:47,320 --> 00:57:48,320
Who else?

1670
00:57:48,320 --> 00:57:52,320
I don't even know who else it could be.

1671
00:57:52,320 --> 00:57:54,320
Apparently Chris Ivy played high school basketball.

1672
00:57:54,320 --> 00:57:57,320
That's a tall ass dude, right?

1673
00:57:57,320 --> 00:57:58,320
No.

1674
00:57:58,320 --> 00:57:59,320
He.

1675
00:57:59,320 --> 00:58:00,320
How can I?

1676
00:58:00,320 --> 00:58:03,320
He's the most immaculate man in comedy.

1677
00:58:03,320 --> 00:58:04,320
Chris Ivy.

1678
00:58:04,320 --> 00:58:05,320
No, I know.

1679
00:58:05,320 --> 00:58:06,320
Oh yeah.

1680
00:58:06,320 --> 00:58:07,320
Yeah.

1681
00:58:07,320 --> 00:58:08,320
He was, he was at Chattanooga, right?

1682
00:58:08,320 --> 00:58:09,320
I don't think so.

1683
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:10,320
He's like, he.

1684
00:58:10,320 --> 00:58:11,320
You sure?

1685
00:58:11,320 --> 00:58:12,320
I don't know.

1686
00:58:12,320 --> 00:58:17,320
He was there at the Stardome while you were there the first time.

1687
00:58:17,320 --> 00:58:18,320
Yeah.

1688
00:58:18,320 --> 00:58:20,320
That's the same dude.

1689
00:58:20,320 --> 00:58:22,320
He was hosting the Micah JJs.

1690
00:58:22,320 --> 00:58:24,320
No, that was Steven Henry.

1691
00:58:24,320 --> 00:58:26,320
I have to say.

1692
00:58:26,320 --> 00:58:27,320
Anyways.

1693
00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:33,320
And our fifth person is, I have no idea.

1694
00:58:33,320 --> 00:58:34,320
Kenan Worthington.

1695
00:58:34,320 --> 00:58:35,320
Oh shit.

1696
00:58:35,320 --> 00:58:37,320
Just cause he's over six foot.

1697
00:58:37,320 --> 00:58:38,320
Yeah.

1698
00:58:38,320 --> 00:58:39,320
Podcast alumni Kenan Worthington.

1699
00:58:39,320 --> 00:58:40,320
It's like Bill Walton, isn't he?

1700
00:58:40,320 --> 00:58:41,320
You know what I mean?

1701
00:58:41,320 --> 00:58:42,320
Yeah.

1702
00:58:42,320 --> 00:58:43,320
Look like Bill Walton.

1703
00:58:43,320 --> 00:58:44,320
I can see that.

1704
00:58:44,320 --> 00:58:45,320
No, he does not look like him.

1705
00:58:45,320 --> 00:58:46,320
I get what he's saying.

1706
00:58:46,320 --> 00:58:47,320
Bill Walton.

1707
00:58:47,320 --> 00:58:48,320
Pull up Bill Walton.

1708
00:58:48,320 --> 00:58:49,320
Kenan Worthington.

1709
00:58:49,320 --> 00:58:50,320
The face only.

1710
00:58:50,320 --> 00:58:51,320
They just look like they could be related.

1711
00:58:51,320 --> 00:58:52,320
It looks like Jonah if anybody.

1712
00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:53,320
No dude, Jonah saved his life.

1713
00:58:53,320 --> 00:58:58,320
This is an older him right here.

1714
00:58:58,320 --> 00:59:02,120
Kenan, you don't look like him man.

1715
00:59:02,120 --> 00:59:03,120
That's Kenan's dad.

1716
00:59:03,120 --> 00:59:07,000
He does look like Rick Flair.

1717
00:59:07,000 --> 00:59:10,440
He does look like Rick Flair.

1718
00:59:10,440 --> 00:59:12,960
The one up there in the top second one, that looks like Jonah.

1719
00:59:12,960 --> 00:59:13,960
Jonah.

1720
00:59:13,960 --> 00:59:14,960
Yeah.

1721
00:59:14,960 --> 00:59:15,960
Not even.

1722
00:59:15,960 --> 00:59:16,960
That's Jonah right there.

1723
00:59:16,960 --> 00:59:17,960
It is pretty Jonah-ish.

1724
00:59:17,960 --> 00:59:18,960
Cause they both tall too man.

1725
00:59:18,960 --> 00:59:19,960
I see it.

1726
00:59:19,960 --> 00:59:20,960
That's Joe Magden.

1727
00:59:20,960 --> 00:59:21,960
Joe Magden.

1728
00:59:21,960 --> 00:59:26,520
Hell yeah, Magden them like the condoms.

1729
00:59:26,520 --> 00:59:28,800
They just have the same beard, you know?

1730
00:59:28,800 --> 00:59:30,320
Kind of where the wild things are.

1731
00:59:30,320 --> 00:59:35,600
Oh man, I love this show.

1732
00:59:35,600 --> 00:59:37,960
No cheek, all chin, beard dude.

1733
00:59:37,960 --> 00:59:39,960
I love it.

1734
00:59:39,960 --> 00:59:41,800
Hey man, to each his own.

1735
00:59:41,800 --> 00:59:42,800
Hell yeah.

1736
00:59:42,800 --> 00:59:46,120
If I was going to pick a starting five, nobody in this room would be honest.

1737
00:59:46,120 --> 00:59:47,560
You haven't seen me play.

1738
00:59:47,560 --> 00:59:48,560
I don't need to.

1739
00:59:48,560 --> 00:59:49,560
Damn man.

1740
00:59:49,560 --> 00:59:50,560
What about me?

1741
00:59:50,560 --> 00:59:52,160
Brandon would be on there.

1742
00:59:52,160 --> 00:59:53,160
Thank you man.

1743
00:59:53,160 --> 00:59:55,640
He's the best basketball player I've ever seen dude.

1744
00:59:55,640 --> 00:59:57,680
Yeah, yes I am.

1745
00:59:57,680 --> 01:00:02,040
Are you trying to convince the camera or yourself?

1746
01:00:02,040 --> 01:00:03,040
Both man.

1747
01:00:03,040 --> 01:00:05,040
Cause he's white chocolate, I'm dark chocolate.

1748
01:00:05,040 --> 01:00:08,040
We're going to be called the Brookie man.

1749
01:00:08,040 --> 01:00:09,040
What was it?

1750
01:00:09,040 --> 01:00:10,040
John Stockton?

1751
01:00:10,040 --> 01:00:11,040
And Carmelo?

1752
01:00:11,040 --> 01:00:12,040
Wait what?

1753
01:00:12,040 --> 01:00:13,040
I thought we were on the same team.

1754
01:00:13,040 --> 01:00:14,040
That's for some hell.

1755
01:00:14,040 --> 01:00:15,040
Oh, okay.

1756
01:00:15,040 --> 01:00:16,040
Oh we're doing a Birmingham game too?

1757
01:00:16,040 --> 01:00:17,040
He's got a Birmingham starting five.

1758
01:00:17,040 --> 01:00:18,040
Damn man, we're doing that too.

1759
01:00:18,040 --> 01:00:19,040
That's what we just talked about.

1760
01:00:19,040 --> 01:00:21,040
You didn't put Cotton on this.

1761
01:00:21,040 --> 01:00:23,040
For the last five minutes.

1762
01:00:23,040 --> 01:00:24,040
Breath doesn't.

1763
01:00:24,040 --> 01:00:26,440
I don't know, Jeremiah Cotton maybe he can play basketball.

1764
01:00:26,440 --> 01:00:27,440
I don't know.

1765
01:00:27,440 --> 01:00:29,320
I bet he can't.

1766
01:00:29,320 --> 01:00:33,840
But people will pick him because he's so big and strong.

1767
01:00:33,840 --> 01:00:44,880
But he's better at hitting bricks and making gravel.

1768
01:00:44,880 --> 01:00:46,120
That's more of his forte.

1769
01:00:46,120 --> 01:00:48,600
I don't think finesse comes into it.

1770
01:00:48,600 --> 01:00:49,600
Sure, sure.

1771
01:00:49,600 --> 01:00:50,600
There's raw ability dude.

1772
01:00:50,600 --> 01:00:51,600
You sound like John Stockton.

1773
01:00:51,600 --> 01:01:01,560
I don't even want to overly agree with him.

1774
01:01:01,560 --> 01:01:04,280
You guys are a hoot man.

1775
01:01:04,280 --> 01:01:06,440
You are a hoot AJ.

1776
01:01:06,440 --> 01:01:08,720
I loved AJ since the first time I saw him.

1777
01:01:08,720 --> 01:01:10,360
I was like I like this guy.

1778
01:01:10,360 --> 01:01:13,200
And every time I try to talk to him he doesn't talk to me.

1779
01:01:13,200 --> 01:01:16,600
He wouldn't come on the pod for like four months.

1780
01:01:16,600 --> 01:01:18,760
AJ would you please come on?

1781
01:01:18,760 --> 01:01:21,920
He's like, get away from me man.

1782
01:01:21,920 --> 01:01:24,960
It seems like nobody seems to really fuck with us at all.

1783
01:01:24,960 --> 01:01:29,400
But if after enough time and persistence we keep bothering people they come on.

1784
01:01:29,400 --> 01:01:30,400
There you go.

1785
01:01:30,400 --> 01:01:31,400
It's like Magic Johnson.

1786
01:01:31,400 --> 01:01:34,040
I met him personally too.

1787
01:01:34,040 --> 01:01:35,840
Brandon and Magic Johnson right here.

1788
01:01:35,840 --> 01:01:37,560
Hugging him like the Magic Touch man.

1789
01:01:37,560 --> 01:01:38,560
Thankfully that didn't happen.

1790
01:01:38,560 --> 01:01:39,560
He's a good dude.

1791
01:01:39,560 --> 01:01:40,560
He don't do that.

1792
01:01:40,560 --> 01:01:41,560
He got sexually assaulted.

1793
01:01:41,560 --> 01:01:42,560
No not by Magic Johnson.

1794
01:01:42,560 --> 01:01:43,560
Allegedly six times.

1795
01:01:43,560 --> 01:01:47,800
You can't afford that.

1796
01:01:47,800 --> 01:01:51,960
I was trying to write a joke about like how bad would it suck if you fucked Magic Johnson

1797
01:01:51,960 --> 01:01:52,960
and got herpes.

1798
01:01:52,960 --> 01:01:57,600
That would be a great story to tell.

1799
01:01:57,600 --> 01:02:00,520
That was fucking good.

1800
01:02:00,520 --> 01:02:02,720
It never works.

1801
01:02:02,720 --> 01:02:05,760
It's very funny off mic.

1802
01:02:05,760 --> 01:02:07,600
It's crazy how that shit goes huh?

1803
01:02:07,600 --> 01:02:09,320
I have a lot of jokes like this.

1804
01:02:09,320 --> 01:02:11,320
It's like why?

1805
01:02:11,320 --> 01:02:13,280
Why don't you guys find this is funny?

1806
01:02:13,280 --> 01:02:16,720
Dom why don't you say your signature joke that doesn't work?

1807
01:02:16,720 --> 01:02:17,720
Oh.

1808
01:02:17,720 --> 01:02:18,720
Alright so.

1809
01:02:18,720 --> 01:02:22,280
I was in the army right?

1810
01:02:22,280 --> 01:02:23,880
And you meet a lot of people in your army.

1811
01:02:23,880 --> 01:02:24,880
Good people, bad people.

1812
01:02:24,880 --> 01:02:26,880
I'm going to tell you about the bad ones alright?

1813
01:02:26,880 --> 01:02:27,880
So I was friends.

1814
01:02:27,880 --> 01:02:30,840
Well let's see I fuck up by saying friends.

1815
01:02:30,840 --> 01:02:36,440
I knew this one guy who you know he was a regular dude but he's in prison right now

1816
01:02:36,440 --> 01:02:38,480
for 30 years for rape.

1817
01:02:38,480 --> 01:02:41,320
And looking back on it you know I probably should have noticed something because he would

1818
01:02:41,320 --> 01:02:45,080
like grab girls arms and be very aggressive with women.

1819
01:02:45,080 --> 01:02:50,240
And the same thing happened with this guy who killed his whole family.

1820
01:02:50,240 --> 01:02:54,280
Now same thing hindsight you know 2020.

1821
01:02:54,280 --> 01:02:57,800
I should have noticed something because like it's like this.

1822
01:02:57,800 --> 01:03:02,040
One time we were talking he was like if my wife ever cheats on me I'm going to kill her

1823
01:03:02,040 --> 01:03:03,040
and the kids.

1824
01:03:03,040 --> 01:03:06,040
It's the subtle things.

1825
01:03:06,040 --> 01:03:11,120
It's the subtle things man.

1826
01:03:11,120 --> 01:03:13,080
First of all both of those are true.

1827
01:03:13,080 --> 01:03:16,160
And he didn't tell me he would kill his kids and all that shit.

1828
01:03:16,160 --> 01:03:17,160
But he's in prison.

1829
01:03:17,160 --> 01:03:19,240
You just said it was true then you were like nah.

1830
01:03:19,240 --> 01:03:22,840
No I mean he's in prison right now for killing his wife and his kids.

1831
01:03:22,840 --> 01:03:26,840
But you know what he's a bitch because usually when you do that Christmas wall you kill yourself

1832
01:03:26,840 --> 01:03:27,840
too.

1833
01:03:27,840 --> 01:03:32,400
That's just like the Japanese spear in their self and getting the hair cut.

1834
01:03:32,400 --> 01:03:35,520
That's a glass half full argument.

1835
01:03:35,520 --> 01:03:37,200
You have to kill yourself you kill your kids.

1836
01:03:37,200 --> 01:03:38,200
No other way around it.

1837
01:03:38,200 --> 01:03:39,400
I don't know.

1838
01:03:39,400 --> 01:03:42,520
But if you kill yourself you don't really answer for the crime dude.

1839
01:03:42,520 --> 01:03:46,320
So is that more bitch shit or should you kill the kids and then be like you know what I'll

1840
01:03:46,320 --> 01:03:47,320
go to prison.

1841
01:03:47,320 --> 01:03:49,560
No because he gets three fucking meals now.

1842
01:03:49,560 --> 01:03:53,320
He's sitting there playing spades with somebody when you offed your fucking child.

1843
01:03:53,320 --> 01:03:55,920
But he's also somebody's girlfriend and he has Kool-Aid on his hands.

1844
01:03:55,920 --> 01:03:56,920
You don't know that.

1845
01:03:56,920 --> 01:04:00,040
He might know El Chapo in there or something.

1846
01:04:00,040 --> 01:04:02,560
He was Puerto Rican of some sort.

1847
01:04:02,560 --> 01:04:06,920
I don't know which one he could have been Colombian he could have been any of these

1848
01:04:06,920 --> 01:04:08,720
but he was one of them.

1849
01:04:08,720 --> 01:04:11,480
He was definitely one of them.

1850
01:04:11,480 --> 01:04:12,480
I'm not sure which one.

1851
01:04:12,480 --> 01:04:13,480
Last name was Colbert.

1852
01:04:13,480 --> 01:04:15,360
I don't know if that helps.

1853
01:04:15,360 --> 01:04:17,360
I think I might know him as well dude.

1854
01:04:17,360 --> 01:04:18,880
It's very Puerto Rican last name.

1855
01:04:18,880 --> 01:04:20,880
Right okay so he is Puerto Rican.

1856
01:04:20,880 --> 01:04:21,880
No Colbert?

1857
01:04:21,880 --> 01:04:23,640
That's like a car isn't it?

1858
01:04:23,640 --> 01:04:25,360
That's half a coleslaw dude.

1859
01:04:25,360 --> 01:04:26,360
That's like Steven.

1860
01:04:26,360 --> 01:04:29,360
What's that stand up?

1861
01:04:29,360 --> 01:04:30,360
Colbert?

1862
01:04:30,360 --> 01:04:31,560
Oh I didn't know that.

1863
01:04:31,560 --> 01:04:32,560
Look up Colbert.

1864
01:04:32,560 --> 01:04:33,560
Maybe Col-barone.

1865
01:04:33,560 --> 01:04:34,560
Like that?

1866
01:04:34,560 --> 01:04:35,560
Yeah last name Orgin.

1867
01:04:35,560 --> 01:04:36,560
Orgin.

1868
01:04:36,560 --> 01:04:38,560
Let's find out what his name is.

1869
01:04:38,560 --> 01:04:39,560
Colbert.

1870
01:04:39,560 --> 01:04:40,560
Okay so it's German.

1871
01:04:40,560 --> 01:04:41,560
French.

1872
01:04:41,560 --> 01:04:42,720
French, English and Irish.

1873
01:04:42,720 --> 01:04:44,360
You couldn't get whiter if he tried dude.

1874
01:04:44,360 --> 01:04:45,760
Well they got a little German in it.

1875
01:04:45,760 --> 01:04:46,760
He wasn't white though.

1876
01:04:46,760 --> 01:04:51,240
Yeah luckily they've never had any white people in Puerto Rico.

1877
01:04:51,240 --> 01:04:53,840
Only Donald Trump when he threw those paper towels.

1878
01:04:53,840 --> 01:04:56,360
Oh yeah man.

1879
01:04:56,360 --> 01:05:01,080
AJ don't you love just saying crazy shit?

1880
01:05:01,080 --> 01:05:02,080
I do.

1881
01:05:02,080 --> 01:05:03,080
It's exciting.

1882
01:05:03,080 --> 01:05:04,080
It's exciting.

1883
01:05:04,080 --> 01:05:09,320
I'm gonna be thinking about the guy who killed his family joke for weeks now.

1884
01:05:09,320 --> 01:05:10,800
Do you like it though?

1885
01:05:10,800 --> 01:05:12,600
Yeah that's great.

1886
01:05:12,600 --> 01:05:14,800
It's never got one laugh.

1887
01:05:14,800 --> 01:05:17,720
And I've said it at least five times on stage.

1888
01:05:17,720 --> 01:05:19,400
It's never even got a chuckle.

1889
01:05:19,400 --> 01:05:21,160
What the fuck is wrong with you?

1890
01:05:21,160 --> 01:05:25,440
I think if you, my answer to everything is just go super short with it.

1891
01:05:25,440 --> 01:05:28,680
Just be like, and it's still not gonna work.

1892
01:05:28,680 --> 01:05:32,000
But it's still awesome.

1893
01:05:32,000 --> 01:05:35,760
Like yeah I never saw it coming.

1894
01:05:35,760 --> 01:05:39,760
He said he was gonna do it and now he did it and he's in jail for it but I never saw

1895
01:05:39,760 --> 01:05:40,760
it coming.

1896
01:05:40,760 --> 01:05:41,760
It's a subtle thing.

1897
01:05:41,760 --> 01:05:47,200
How often do people follow up on their New Year's resolutions?

1898
01:05:47,200 --> 01:05:53,040
People never stick to those things.

1899
01:05:53,040 --> 01:05:54,440
Brandon do you have a joke like that?

1900
01:05:54,440 --> 01:05:56,520
Do I have a joke like that about killing?

1901
01:05:56,520 --> 01:06:02,280
No, no, a joke that doesn't.

1902
01:06:02,280 --> 01:06:06,440
What's one that I've, man my mind left me.

1903
01:06:06,440 --> 01:06:09,800
I can't think of one on top of my head but I know there is one in the vault somewhere.

1904
01:06:09,800 --> 01:06:10,800
Where is this at?

1905
01:06:10,800 --> 01:06:11,800
We're gonna go back in there.

1906
01:06:11,800 --> 01:06:12,800
I've got one dude.

1907
01:06:12,800 --> 01:06:15,000
Yes, why you do that?

1908
01:06:15,000 --> 01:06:17,920
This is how I got Dom to start doing the podcast.

1909
01:06:17,920 --> 01:06:19,920
I already know what it is.

1910
01:06:19,920 --> 01:06:20,920
I love it.

1911
01:06:20,920 --> 01:06:25,680
When I was in the fourth grade we went on a field trip to a local cave called Cathedral

1912
01:06:25,680 --> 01:06:26,680
Caverns.

1913
01:06:26,680 --> 01:06:31,960
I had a crush on this girl and we spent the whole field trip together.

1914
01:06:31,960 --> 01:06:34,560
We were like, we ate lunch together.

1915
01:06:34,560 --> 01:06:36,880
I gave her the butter finger out of my lunch.

1916
01:06:36,880 --> 01:06:37,880
It was a big deal, man.

1917
01:06:37,880 --> 01:06:39,440
It was a lot.

1918
01:06:39,440 --> 01:06:44,280
At the end of the tour you get to the end of the cave and they turn out all the lights

1919
01:06:44,280 --> 01:06:48,040
to mimic natural darkness.

1920
01:06:48,040 --> 01:06:51,060
I didn't know that they were doing it because I was talking to this girl.

1921
01:06:51,060 --> 01:06:53,120
I was definitely afraid of the darkness.

1922
01:06:53,120 --> 01:06:58,560
I threw an uppercut that Mike Tyson would have been proud of.

1923
01:06:58,560 --> 01:06:59,880
It connects with something.

1924
01:06:59,880 --> 01:07:05,640
I'm not sure what it is yet but then the lights turn on and she's on the floor.

1925
01:07:05,640 --> 01:07:10,120
The teacher sees and she's crying on the ground.

1926
01:07:10,120 --> 01:07:13,200
Out of instinct it's Etowah County, Alabama.

1927
01:07:13,200 --> 01:07:19,040
It was dark so I blamed it on a black guy.

1928
01:07:19,040 --> 01:07:23,280
I did throw him under the bus but at least it was the front of the bus.

1929
01:07:23,280 --> 01:07:24,280
That's good.

1930
01:07:24,280 --> 01:07:25,280
That's good eating right there.

1931
01:07:25,280 --> 01:07:26,280
That's a good joke.

1932
01:07:26,280 --> 01:07:32,960
You notice how AJ laughed more at the other one, dude?

1933
01:07:32,960 --> 01:07:39,640
It's almost like that one isn't more funny than it is fucked up.

1934
01:07:39,640 --> 01:07:42,280
I threw him under the bus but at least it was the front of the bus.

1935
01:07:42,280 --> 01:07:43,280
It's great.

1936
01:07:43,280 --> 01:07:45,680
I don't give a fuck what you're talking about.

1937
01:07:45,680 --> 01:07:46,680
That's a great line.

1938
01:07:46,680 --> 01:07:47,680
Yeah.

1939
01:07:47,680 --> 01:07:48,960
I gotta be honest.

1940
01:07:48,960 --> 01:07:50,440
I don't get it.

1941
01:07:50,440 --> 01:07:52,080
Rosa Parks, the front of the bus?

1942
01:07:52,080 --> 01:07:53,080
Yeah.

1943
01:07:53,080 --> 01:07:54,080
Rosa Parks.

1944
01:07:54,080 --> 01:07:55,080
Oh, okay.

1945
01:07:55,080 --> 01:07:56,080
Oh, that makes sense.

1946
01:07:56,080 --> 01:07:57,080
What?

1947
01:07:57,080 --> 01:07:58,080
Okay.

1948
01:07:58,080 --> 01:07:59,080
It's February.

1949
01:07:59,080 --> 01:08:00,080
It's been too long ago, huh?

1950
01:08:00,080 --> 01:08:03,080
You gotta brush up on your black history.

1951
01:08:03,080 --> 01:08:06,920
He was trying to cram study for Pride Month.

1952
01:08:06,920 --> 01:08:07,920
Exactly.

1953
01:08:07,920 --> 01:08:10,280
It hasn't even come up yet.

1954
01:08:10,280 --> 01:08:11,280
Crazy.

1955
01:08:11,280 --> 01:08:14,720
And Rosa Parks wasn't gay so she doesn't matter in June, Dom.

1956
01:08:14,720 --> 01:08:15,720
That's true.

1957
01:08:15,720 --> 01:08:16,720
But it's July now, motherfucker.

1958
01:08:16,720 --> 01:08:17,720
Yeah, that's true.

1959
01:08:17,720 --> 01:08:18,720
What is it now?

1960
01:08:18,720 --> 01:08:19,720
Hispanic Hispanic or what?

1961
01:08:19,720 --> 01:08:20,720
Let's see what it is.

1962
01:08:20,720 --> 01:08:21,720
Hispanic Hispanic.

1963
01:08:21,720 --> 01:08:24,240
There's a lot of months that just started coming up.

1964
01:08:24,240 --> 01:08:26,680
July, I think it's straight Pride Month.

1965
01:08:26,680 --> 01:08:27,680
Celebration, right?

1966
01:08:27,680 --> 01:08:28,680
There's no system.

1967
01:08:28,680 --> 01:08:29,680
July month celebration.

1968
01:08:29,680 --> 01:08:31,720
That's every other month.

1969
01:08:31,720 --> 01:08:34,480
National Fragile X Awareness Month.

1970
01:08:34,480 --> 01:08:35,480
What is that?

1971
01:08:35,480 --> 01:08:36,480
I won't deal with it.

1972
01:08:36,480 --> 01:08:38,040
I don't know what it is and I don't care.

1973
01:08:38,040 --> 01:08:39,040
Let's find out what it is.

1974
01:08:39,040 --> 01:08:40,040
Hold on.

1975
01:08:40,040 --> 01:08:41,040
Is that real?

1976
01:08:41,040 --> 01:08:42,040
Click on it.

1977
01:08:42,040 --> 01:08:43,840
It says what is the month July is celebrating.

1978
01:08:43,840 --> 01:08:45,200
Oh, okay.

1979
01:08:45,200 --> 01:08:46,440
Including grilling month?

1980
01:08:46,440 --> 01:08:47,440
I'm down with it.

1981
01:08:47,440 --> 01:08:48,440
Brandon, click on the first link.

1982
01:08:48,440 --> 01:08:49,440
Oh, that's a good one.

1983
01:08:49,440 --> 01:08:50,440
Disability Pride.

1984
01:08:50,440 --> 01:08:51,440
That's what it is.

1985
01:08:51,440 --> 01:08:52,440
Brandon, it's your month, baby.

1986
01:08:52,440 --> 01:08:53,440
Yeah.

1987
01:08:53,440 --> 01:08:54,440
Hot dog month.

1988
01:08:54,440 --> 01:08:55,440
It's your month as well.

1989
01:08:55,440 --> 01:08:56,440
That damn yell.

1990
01:08:56,440 --> 01:08:59,440
I do love a good Jimmy Jam.

1991
01:08:59,440 --> 01:09:00,440
Picnic month.

1992
01:09:00,440 --> 01:09:01,440
Hot dog month.

1993
01:09:01,440 --> 01:09:02,440
Ice cream month.

1994
01:09:02,440 --> 01:09:03,440
Let's go.

1995
01:09:03,440 --> 01:09:04,440
I fuck with that.

1996
01:09:04,440 --> 01:09:05,440
But Brandon, click on that first link.

1997
01:09:05,440 --> 01:09:06,440
I want to know what Fragile X is.

1998
01:09:06,440 --> 01:09:08,440
I feel like that's a genetic definition.

1999
01:09:08,440 --> 01:09:11,440
It's definitely something disabled.

2000
01:09:11,440 --> 01:09:12,440
Fragile X.

2001
01:09:12,440 --> 01:09:19,440
It says July shines a spotlight on the most common form of inherited intellectual disability.

2002
01:09:19,440 --> 01:09:20,600
What is Fragile X, though?

2003
01:09:20,600 --> 01:09:23,120
Brandon is actually technically Fragile X.

2004
01:09:23,120 --> 01:09:24,120
What does that mean?

2005
01:09:24,120 --> 01:09:25,120
We'll get you a panning about that.

2006
01:09:25,120 --> 01:09:27,840
You're one consonant away from getting canceled right now, Dom.

2007
01:09:27,840 --> 01:09:28,840
Chill out.

2008
01:09:28,840 --> 01:09:29,840
Let's see.

2009
01:09:29,840 --> 01:09:30,840
During the month.

2010
01:09:30,840 --> 01:09:31,840
What is the constant?

2011
01:09:31,840 --> 01:09:32,840
I don't even know.

2012
01:09:32,840 --> 01:09:33,840
The R.

2013
01:09:33,840 --> 01:09:38,920
Okay, so it says the syndrome is a mutation of the fMRI gene.

2014
01:09:38,920 --> 01:09:39,920
What is that?

2015
01:09:39,920 --> 01:09:40,920
That's a one, but that's fine.

2016
01:09:40,920 --> 01:09:41,920
We'll figure it out.

2017
01:09:41,920 --> 01:09:42,920
One, one.

2018
01:09:42,920 --> 01:09:49,880
While it is the most common form of inherited intellectual disability, it impacts men more

2019
01:09:49,880 --> 01:09:50,960
than women.

2020
01:09:50,960 --> 01:09:55,720
Some people may have the gene mutation, but you know, never shows signs.

2021
01:09:55,720 --> 01:09:56,720
What is it?

2022
01:09:56,720 --> 01:09:57,720
Oh, wow.

2023
01:09:57,720 --> 01:09:58,720
That's a later one.

2024
01:09:58,720 --> 01:10:00,320
It's not saying mild, severe symptoms of what?

2025
01:10:00,320 --> 01:10:01,320
Let's see.

2026
01:10:01,320 --> 01:10:02,320
Let's see.

2027
01:10:02,320 --> 01:10:03,320
Damn, they're not telling me.

2028
01:10:03,320 --> 01:10:04,320
They're just saying there's no cure for it.

2029
01:10:04,320 --> 01:10:05,320
Damn it, Brandon.

2030
01:10:05,320 --> 01:10:07,320
We're going to find a cure for you.

2031
01:10:07,320 --> 01:10:08,320
Hold on.

2032
01:10:08,320 --> 01:10:09,320
Let's see what Fragile X is.

2033
01:10:09,320 --> 01:10:12,120
What is Fragile X deficiency?

2034
01:10:12,120 --> 01:10:13,120
Come on, y'all.

2035
01:10:13,120 --> 01:10:16,360
Okay, a genetic that causes intellectual disability.

2036
01:10:16,360 --> 01:10:18,400
Oh, dude, Brandon.

2037
01:10:18,400 --> 01:10:19,720
It's just being retarded.

2038
01:10:19,720 --> 01:10:21,720
Wait, so this learning disabilities right here?

2039
01:10:21,720 --> 01:10:22,720
It's slow, yeah.

2040
01:10:22,720 --> 01:10:23,720
Dude, I got learning disabilities.

2041
01:10:23,720 --> 01:10:24,720
We know.

2042
01:10:24,720 --> 01:10:25,720
Damn, man.

2043
01:10:25,720 --> 01:10:26,720
Damn.

2044
01:10:26,720 --> 01:10:27,720
You look just like the guy in that picture.

2045
01:10:27,720 --> 01:10:29,520
No, I think this is whenever you're in special needs.

2046
01:10:29,520 --> 01:10:30,520
Oh, okay.

2047
01:10:30,520 --> 01:10:31,520
Okay.

2048
01:10:31,520 --> 01:10:32,520
Not special ed.

2049
01:10:32,520 --> 01:10:33,520
This isn't special ed.

2050
01:10:33,520 --> 01:10:34,520
There's a difference.

2051
01:10:34,520 --> 01:10:35,520
There's a big difference.

2052
01:10:35,520 --> 01:10:36,520
There is a difference, and we need to have an awareness month for that.

2053
01:10:36,520 --> 01:10:37,520
Yeah.

2054
01:10:37,520 --> 01:10:38,520
For which one?

2055
01:10:38,520 --> 01:10:39,520
For special ed versus special needs.

2056
01:10:39,520 --> 01:10:40,520
No, no, we don't need it.

2057
01:10:40,520 --> 01:10:41,520
It's all right.

2058
01:10:41,520 --> 01:10:42,520
It's all right.

2059
01:10:42,520 --> 01:10:43,520
Look, this is your month.

2060
01:10:43,520 --> 01:10:44,520
It literally is your month right now.

2061
01:10:44,520 --> 01:10:45,520
Oh, I thought this was... Oh, okay.

2062
01:10:45,520 --> 01:10:49,520
And we're going to celebrate it every time we come on this show, and every time we add

2063
01:10:49,520 --> 01:10:53,200
an open mic, I will be bringing up that this is your month, and they better fucking respect

2064
01:10:53,200 --> 01:10:54,200
it.

2065
01:10:54,200 --> 01:10:55,200
Yeah, I agree.

2066
01:10:55,200 --> 01:10:56,200
I agree.

2067
01:10:56,200 --> 01:10:57,200
I think it was a blue pin they had, little ribbon.

2068
01:10:57,200 --> 01:10:58,200
We're going to get that.

2069
01:10:58,200 --> 01:10:59,200
Oh, okay.

2070
01:10:59,200 --> 01:11:00,200
We'll get that for you, dude.

2071
01:11:00,200 --> 01:11:02,200
I'll get it tattooed on my back right now.

2072
01:11:02,200 --> 01:11:04,200
With your name in there on the ribbon.

2073
01:11:04,200 --> 01:11:05,200
See, we don't need that tomorrow.

2074
01:11:05,200 --> 01:11:06,200
No, dude, I love you, man.

2075
01:11:06,200 --> 01:11:08,600
I love you too, man.

2076
01:11:08,600 --> 01:11:10,160
I'll wear a blue polo or something.

2077
01:11:10,160 --> 01:11:11,400
Whoa, just calm down, dude.

2078
01:11:11,400 --> 01:11:12,600
Pride month was last month.

2079
01:11:12,600 --> 01:11:14,560
Okay, don't say it back.

2080
01:11:14,560 --> 01:11:18,120
So what's your joke that never works on stage that you love?

2081
01:11:18,120 --> 01:11:27,520
Joke that I... Man, I feel like I have a million, but I can't think of any.

2082
01:11:27,520 --> 01:11:29,280
What even would I want to say?

2083
01:11:29,280 --> 01:11:31,320
I don't know, dude.

2084
01:11:31,320 --> 01:11:33,760
I'm just going to have to think about it.

2085
01:11:33,760 --> 01:11:34,760
Don't worry about it.

2086
01:11:34,760 --> 01:11:35,760
We can come back.

2087
01:11:35,760 --> 01:11:38,200
We could just jump in no matter what we're saying and then say it.

2088
01:11:38,200 --> 01:11:39,200
I swear.

2089
01:11:39,200 --> 01:11:40,200
Cut us off.

2090
01:11:40,200 --> 01:11:41,200
It came to me.

2091
01:11:41,200 --> 01:11:42,200
Yeah, yeah, it just came to me.

2092
01:11:42,200 --> 01:11:43,200
It doesn't matter.

2093
01:11:43,200 --> 01:11:44,200
Then it's going to bomb here also.

2094
01:11:44,200 --> 01:11:45,200
You're like, oh, glad you remembered.

2095
01:11:45,200 --> 01:11:46,200
I'm going to be honest.

2096
01:11:46,200 --> 01:11:47,200
I do remember one thing.

2097
01:11:47,200 --> 01:11:52,880
I don't remember the joke, but I remember the situation because I told somebody before

2098
01:11:52,880 --> 01:11:53,880
I said it on stage.

2099
01:11:53,880 --> 01:11:55,880
They were like, what the hell, Brandon?

2100
01:11:55,880 --> 01:12:00,400
Because one time I did a thing about how I realize now that there's more situations

2101
01:12:00,400 --> 01:12:05,240
where the dude specifically in class, the girl teacher come up and be like, hey, man,

2102
01:12:05,240 --> 01:12:06,240
you want to extra grade?

2103
01:12:06,240 --> 01:12:07,240
Let's do this.

2104
01:12:07,240 --> 01:12:09,680
And then I made a joke basically clarifying how I was kind of like jealous.

2105
01:12:09,680 --> 01:12:13,120
I was like, damn, man, why weren't they doing this during my time?

2106
01:12:13,120 --> 01:12:14,120
Because I mean, I would appreciate it.

2107
01:12:14,120 --> 01:12:15,120
Well, you talking about fucking the students.

2108
01:12:15,120 --> 01:12:16,120
Yeah, I'm talking about me.

2109
01:12:16,120 --> 01:12:17,120
But I'm not talking about the teacher.

2110
01:12:17,120 --> 01:12:18,120
I'm talking about me.

2111
01:12:18,120 --> 01:12:19,120
I'm saying-

2112
01:12:19,120 --> 01:12:24,120
Why didn't you get sexually assaulted by a woman instead of a man?

2113
01:12:24,120 --> 01:12:25,120
Yeah, if that happened.

2114
01:12:25,120 --> 01:12:26,120
That's been well-as-tell.

2115
01:12:26,120 --> 01:12:27,120
Yeah, I was like-

2116
01:12:27,120 --> 01:12:28,120
I thought I could get you.

2117
01:12:28,120 --> 01:12:34,280
Because I was like, there was times when I would look and be like, damn, if only.

2118
01:12:34,280 --> 01:12:35,280
You know what I mean?

2119
01:12:35,280 --> 01:12:36,280
If only.

2120
01:12:36,280 --> 01:12:38,240
Because they would do something like one lady stick stuff in the bra and-

2121
01:12:38,240 --> 01:12:41,120
Well, explain that.

2122
01:12:41,120 --> 01:12:42,120
Don't pass over that.

2123
01:12:42,120 --> 01:12:45,960
I'm sorry to teach you, if you got in trouble, she would specifically open her bra, look

2124
01:12:45,960 --> 01:12:47,760
at you and stick stuff in there, right?

2125
01:12:47,760 --> 01:12:48,760
Stick what in there?

2126
01:12:48,760 --> 01:12:49,760
Anything.

2127
01:12:49,760 --> 01:12:50,760
Whatever.

2128
01:12:50,760 --> 01:12:51,760
What does that mean?

2129
01:12:51,760 --> 01:12:52,760
How is that a punishment?

2130
01:12:52,760 --> 01:12:54,880
Listen, if she took your phone, she's going to stick it in there.

2131
01:12:54,880 --> 01:12:57,760
You got a toy that you love so much, like if I had a wrestler or something, she's going

2132
01:12:57,760 --> 01:12:58,760
to stick it in there.

2133
01:12:58,760 --> 01:12:59,760
That was only Brandon.

2134
01:12:59,760 --> 01:13:05,080
That was only Brandon with the limited edition WWE Legends Hulk Hogan Japanese Wrestling

2135
01:13:05,080 --> 01:13:06,080
Alliance figure.

2136
01:13:06,080 --> 01:13:07,080
Oh, man, dude.

2137
01:13:07,080 --> 01:13:08,080
I would cry with that one, man.

2138
01:13:08,080 --> 01:13:11,760
I got the Chase edition, you know, the limited edition one with the, what is it?

2139
01:13:11,760 --> 01:13:14,840
He got the red and blue, but that's a different story.

2140
01:13:14,840 --> 01:13:18,200
But yeah, man, I used to, like one time I accidentally smacked a teacher.

2141
01:13:18,200 --> 01:13:19,200
I didn't mean to.

2142
01:13:19,200 --> 01:13:20,200
I accidentally smacked a teacher's ass one time.

2143
01:13:20,200 --> 01:13:21,200
I didn't mean to do it, though.

2144
01:13:21,200 --> 01:13:26,200
So I went to pick up my pencil and then I accidentally went up and her ass right there.

2145
01:13:26,200 --> 01:13:28,240
I was like, oh, man, I'm sorry.

2146
01:13:28,240 --> 01:13:29,240
I didn't mean to do it.

2147
01:13:29,240 --> 01:13:30,240
You look like an ax.

2148
01:13:30,240 --> 01:13:31,240
I didn't mean to do that.

2149
01:13:31,240 --> 01:13:32,240
Did you smack it whenever?

2150
01:13:32,240 --> 01:13:35,240
Yeah, it was tapped because the whole class was like, oh shit.

2151
01:13:35,240 --> 01:13:38,240
And then she looked back and was like, oh, that's Brandon.

2152
01:13:38,240 --> 01:13:39,240
That's all right.

2153
01:13:39,240 --> 01:13:40,240
What grade?

2154
01:13:40,240 --> 01:13:41,240
They can do whatever they want.

2155
01:13:41,240 --> 01:13:42,240
Oh, this is like eighth grade.

2156
01:13:42,240 --> 01:13:43,240
Eighth grade?

2157
01:13:43,240 --> 01:13:44,240
Eighth grade.

2158
01:13:44,240 --> 01:13:45,240
Eighth grade.

2159
01:13:45,240 --> 01:13:46,240
You were a teenager.

2160
01:13:46,240 --> 01:13:47,240
Yeah.

2161
01:13:47,240 --> 01:13:48,240
Eighth grade.

2162
01:13:48,240 --> 01:13:49,240
Good year.

2163
01:13:49,240 --> 01:13:50,240
That was not a good year.

2164
01:13:50,240 --> 01:13:51,240
It was okay.

2165
01:13:51,240 --> 01:13:56,240
What made it, what played into eighth grade being a good or bad year?

2166
01:13:56,240 --> 01:13:58,480
Man, it was, this was the year.

2167
01:13:58,480 --> 01:13:59,480
This was the last year I was fat.

2168
01:13:59,480 --> 01:14:02,440
This is when I realized that I was because I remember I asked him, I was like, am I fat

2169
01:14:02,440 --> 01:14:03,440
now?

2170
01:14:03,440 --> 01:14:04,440
Hell yeah.

2171
01:14:04,440 --> 01:14:05,440
And that's when I started basketball and tried.

2172
01:14:05,440 --> 01:14:07,120
So I would play every single day.

2173
01:14:07,120 --> 01:14:11,200
That's why I'm a little good because I would play every single day just to lose that weight.

2174
01:14:11,200 --> 01:14:12,200
And I did.

2175
01:14:12,200 --> 01:14:15,480
And I came back my freshman year and thought that everybody was like, oh my gosh, Brandon,

2176
01:14:15,480 --> 01:14:16,480
you lost all that damn weight.

2177
01:14:16,480 --> 01:14:17,480
No, man.

2178
01:14:17,480 --> 01:14:21,480
Everybody thought I did crack like the teacher who asked me about the crack head and shit.

2179
01:14:21,480 --> 01:14:23,080
And it was bullshit.

2180
01:14:23,080 --> 01:14:24,760
Like I swear.

2181
01:14:24,760 --> 01:14:25,760
You worked for it, dude.

2182
01:14:25,760 --> 01:14:26,760
Yes, I did work for it.

2183
01:14:26,760 --> 01:14:27,760
And they blamed it on crack.

2184
01:14:27,760 --> 01:14:28,760
So now I got to get muscular, I guess.

2185
01:14:28,760 --> 01:14:29,760
And I tried wrestling, which I love.

2186
01:14:29,760 --> 01:14:30,760
So let the Russell dudes, man, good shit.

2187
01:14:30,760 --> 01:14:31,760
Those women.

2188
01:14:31,760 --> 01:14:32,760
Okay.

2189
01:14:32,760 --> 01:14:33,760
Okay.

2190
01:14:33,760 --> 01:14:34,760
Why did you say you don't have to say it?

2191
01:14:34,760 --> 01:14:35,760
It's like that's what Russell implied that it's your wrestling man.

2192
01:14:35,760 --> 01:14:36,760
Well, you wrestling everybody.

2193
01:14:36,760 --> 01:14:37,760
I wrestled men, women, children, beat up by a girl on wrestling.

2194
01:14:37,760 --> 01:14:38,760
Not even one.

2195
01:14:38,760 --> 01:14:39,760
I have horrible stories.

2196
01:14:39,760 --> 01:14:40,760
Oh, man.

2197
01:14:40,760 --> 01:14:41,760
Man, I felt bad.

2198
01:14:41,760 --> 01:14:42,760
I wrestled a special needs person.

2199
01:14:42,760 --> 01:14:43,760
So so it was like, they said, I don't know.

2200
01:14:43,760 --> 01:14:44,760
I don't know.

2201
01:14:44,760 --> 01:14:45,760
I don't know.

2202
01:14:45,760 --> 01:14:46,760
I don't know.

2203
01:14:46,760 --> 01:14:47,760
I don't know.

2204
01:14:47,760 --> 01:14:48,760
I don't know.

2205
01:14:48,760 --> 01:14:49,760
I don't know.

2206
01:14:49,760 --> 01:14:50,760
I don't know.

2207
01:14:50,760 --> 01:14:51,760
I don't know.

2208
01:14:51,760 --> 01:14:57,760
I don't know.

2209
01:14:57,760 --> 01:14:58,760
I wrestled a special needs person.

2210
01:14:58,760 --> 01:14:59,760
So so it was like, they slam the shit out of you, didn't they?

2211
01:14:59,760 --> 01:15:00,760
No, dude.

2212
01:15:00,760 --> 01:15:05,520
It was bad because it was senior night and my mom, my mom never came to any of my she's

2213
01:15:05,520 --> 01:15:06,520
German.

2214
01:15:06,520 --> 01:15:07,520
She doesn't do things like that.

2215
01:15:07,520 --> 01:15:08,920
I like support me.

2216
01:15:08,920 --> 01:15:13,840
But so she so she actually came to this wrestling match a senior night, but they didn't have

2217
01:15:13,840 --> 01:15:18,040
a they didn't have a person for me to wrestle.

2218
01:15:18,040 --> 01:15:19,160
And I was the best dude on the team.

2219
01:15:19,160 --> 01:15:21,340
And I was like, just give me anybody.

2220
01:15:21,340 --> 01:15:25,720
And they were like, well, this dude from JV and he was clearly something was wrong with

2221
01:15:25,720 --> 01:15:29,800
them, you know, and I could have went easy on him, but I beat him like 15 seconds.

2222
01:15:29,800 --> 01:15:34,600
I just slammed him on the mat and pinned him because, you know, he needed to he needed

2223
01:15:34,600 --> 01:15:36,320
to I think you should do that.

2224
01:15:36,320 --> 01:15:38,400
They should all be treated the same.

2225
01:15:38,400 --> 01:15:39,680
Everyone should be treated the same.

2226
01:15:39,680 --> 01:15:46,520
And why did you say they I was talking about the special needs.

2227
01:15:46,520 --> 01:15:47,520
That's what I meant.

2228
01:15:47,520 --> 01:15:51,280
But you know what I'm saying, wouldn't you if you were supposed to wouldn't you want

2229
01:15:51,280 --> 01:15:52,840
to be treated as everyone else?

2230
01:15:52,840 --> 01:15:53,840
Yes.

2231
01:15:53,840 --> 01:15:54,840
Yeah.

2232
01:15:54,840 --> 01:15:55,840
Yeah.

2233
01:15:55,840 --> 01:15:56,840
That's a good point, actually.

2234
01:15:56,840 --> 01:15:57,840
Yeah.

2235
01:15:57,840 --> 01:15:58,840
So I'm not just going to go there and play with them.

2236
01:15:58,840 --> 01:15:59,840
I'm gonna slam on the ground as hard as I can.

2237
01:15:59,840 --> 01:16:05,440
Just like I would if it was if it was anybody else and I'm gonna do like this and easy pin.

2238
01:16:05,440 --> 01:16:06,440
So it's done faster.

2239
01:16:06,440 --> 01:16:09,000
It's like when you kill an animal, you want to do it fast.

2240
01:16:09,000 --> 01:16:11,360
You don't want to drag it out.

2241
01:16:11,360 --> 01:16:18,160
Okay, but how when we say that the guy had special needs, to what degree?

2242
01:16:18,160 --> 01:16:19,160
Oh, no, no.

2243
01:16:19,160 --> 01:16:20,160
Yeah.

2244
01:16:20,160 --> 01:16:21,160
Brandon.

2245
01:16:21,160 --> 01:16:22,160
No, Burstin Brandon.

2246
01:16:22,160 --> 01:16:28,720
He had like he had a he had an affliction, you know, they make noises when you slam them.

2247
01:16:28,720 --> 01:16:29,720
I can't remember.

2248
01:16:29,720 --> 01:16:31,000
He makes a low tone.

2249
01:16:31,000 --> 01:16:32,440
That means he was this low.

2250
01:16:32,440 --> 01:16:35,440
But my move.

2251
01:16:35,440 --> 01:16:41,840
But don't you got don't you got a question for AJ about?

2252
01:16:41,840 --> 01:16:42,840
Yes, I do.

2253
01:16:42,840 --> 01:16:46,520
But before I do that, I want to tell you I want to tell you about that wrestling thing.

2254
01:16:46,520 --> 01:16:49,520
Listen, listen, you did the best thing ever, man.

2255
01:16:49,520 --> 01:16:54,240
Because you know, and like when I first started when I first started and they put me in that

2256
01:16:54,240 --> 01:16:56,240
verse and shit, I didn't know what I was doing.

2257
01:16:56,240 --> 01:16:57,800
You'd have the pros like seniors and shit.

2258
01:16:57,800 --> 01:16:59,340
And what they do is they let you down.

2259
01:16:59,340 --> 01:17:01,640
And once they realize they can let you down, they let you back up.

2260
01:17:01,640 --> 01:17:02,640
Take you back down.

2261
01:17:02,640 --> 01:17:03,640
Let you back up.

2262
01:17:03,640 --> 01:17:04,640
They play with you.

2263
01:17:04,640 --> 01:17:05,640
They play with you.

2264
01:17:05,640 --> 01:17:07,760
And then years later, I remember one time I did that.

2265
01:17:07,760 --> 01:17:08,760
Well, I didn't really do it.

2266
01:17:08,760 --> 01:17:10,200
What I did was let him up, slam the couple.

2267
01:17:10,200 --> 01:17:12,120
And then the dude was like, what's wrong with you?

2268
01:17:12,120 --> 01:17:15,440
You're supposed to keep letting them up and go down since he doesn't know what he's doing.

2269
01:17:15,440 --> 01:17:17,180
And I've always never followed that.

2270
01:17:17,180 --> 01:17:19,760
So when you do that, I agree with that.

2271
01:17:19,760 --> 01:17:21,240
That's what I would give me some nuts.

2272
01:17:21,240 --> 01:17:22,240
Air nuts.

2273
01:17:22,240 --> 01:17:23,240
You know what?

2274
01:17:23,240 --> 01:17:24,240
Let's give a round of applause for Don.

2275
01:17:24,240 --> 01:17:25,240
Slamming a wrestler with special needs.

2276
01:17:25,240 --> 01:17:26,240
He did right.

2277
01:17:26,240 --> 01:17:27,240
He did what he was supposed to do.

2278
01:17:27,240 --> 01:17:28,240
Thank you, guys.

2279
01:17:28,240 --> 01:17:32,240
I've always needed this affirmation on senior night.

2280
01:17:32,240 --> 01:17:33,240
I'm seeing it was on senior night.

2281
01:17:33,240 --> 01:17:35,280
I had to get my mom a rose.

2282
01:17:35,280 --> 01:17:38,840
Oh, what did your mom say about your performance?

2283
01:17:38,840 --> 01:17:41,360
She said, she said, was something wrong with him?

2284
01:17:41,360 --> 01:17:42,360
Damn, man.

2285
01:17:42,360 --> 01:17:44,920
She didn't say good job or anything.

2286
01:17:44,920 --> 01:17:45,920
Not anymore.

2287
01:17:45,920 --> 01:17:49,760
Yeah, but that's not usually how it is.

2288
01:17:49,760 --> 01:17:52,760
They should have given you a better opponent.

2289
01:17:52,760 --> 01:17:57,520
Hold on.

2290
01:17:57,520 --> 01:17:59,480
I love the German accent.

2291
01:17:59,480 --> 01:18:04,360
But you can't do like, I'm about to say crazy shit about Germans.

2292
01:18:04,360 --> 01:18:05,360
You can't.

2293
01:18:05,360 --> 01:18:06,360
They're very cosmopolitan.

2294
01:18:06,360 --> 01:18:07,360
That was insane.

2295
01:18:07,360 --> 01:18:08,360
That's a good accent.

2296
01:18:08,360 --> 01:18:09,360
It's not that crazy.

2297
01:18:09,360 --> 01:18:15,120
Does your mom have like a thick German accent?

2298
01:18:15,120 --> 01:18:16,440
No, she has it.

2299
01:18:16,440 --> 01:18:19,960
But it's not like I never noticed it growing up because it's just how she talks.

2300
01:18:19,960 --> 01:18:23,480
But it's not like that, like that hard until she starts talking to her family back home.

2301
01:18:23,480 --> 01:18:27,440
Then it's all kind of like, shit like that.

2302
01:18:27,440 --> 01:18:29,600
And I'm like, what were you guys talking about?

2303
01:18:29,600 --> 01:18:31,080
Oh, we're just saying happy birthday to each other.

2304
01:18:31,080 --> 01:18:34,400
I'm like, you guys sound like you were trying to kill each other on the fucking phone.

2305
01:18:34,400 --> 01:18:35,400
But it's aggressive.

2306
01:18:35,400 --> 01:18:36,400
It is.

2307
01:18:36,400 --> 01:18:37,400
It's very aggressive.

2308
01:18:37,400 --> 01:18:38,400
I believe it.

2309
01:18:38,400 --> 01:18:39,400
She doesn't like American whites.

2310
01:18:39,400 --> 01:18:40,400
Oh, dang.

2311
01:18:40,400 --> 01:18:41,400
OK.

2312
01:18:41,400 --> 01:18:42,400
Not a big fan of American whites.

2313
01:18:42,400 --> 01:18:43,400
What's the thinking there?

2314
01:18:43,400 --> 01:18:44,400
I don't know.

2315
01:18:44,400 --> 01:18:46,120
I just growing up, I never really thought of it.

2316
01:18:46,120 --> 01:18:48,400
And then like five years ago, I'm like, mom, do you got any?

2317
01:18:48,400 --> 01:18:51,360
Because I know she has white friends, but they're like European and shit.

2318
01:18:51,360 --> 01:18:53,120
I was like, you got any American white friends?

2319
01:18:53,120 --> 01:18:54,120
She was like, no.

2320
01:18:54,120 --> 01:18:55,120
I'm like, why not?

2321
01:18:55,120 --> 01:18:56,120
I'm like, you don't like them?

2322
01:18:56,120 --> 01:18:58,520
I heard they're fine.

2323
01:18:58,520 --> 01:18:59,880
This is verbatim what she said.

2324
01:18:59,880 --> 01:19:02,040
And I'm like, what do you mean you heard they're fine?

2325
01:19:02,040 --> 01:19:07,520
Like you whenever she was like, they just smile too much and say, how are you doing?

2326
01:19:07,520 --> 01:19:09,960
I'm like, yeah, they're nice.

2327
01:19:09,960 --> 01:19:11,520
She doesn't like the nice.

2328
01:19:11,520 --> 01:19:15,400
And that's why I support the 1924 National Origins Act.

2329
01:19:15,400 --> 01:19:17,840
We got to put a fucking quota on these people.

2330
01:19:17,840 --> 01:19:21,400
I'm sorry, Brandon, what was your question?

2331
01:19:21,400 --> 01:19:26,160
Because I saw in your notes or in these notes here, man, that you have an offer that you

2332
01:19:26,160 --> 01:19:27,160
like.

2333
01:19:27,160 --> 01:19:29,360
His name is Duke alum Tucker Max, right?

2334
01:19:29,360 --> 01:19:33,360
Oh, Duke alumni is a title.

2335
01:19:33,360 --> 01:19:36,360
Oh, he's a Duke alumni.

2336
01:19:36,360 --> 01:19:39,960
His name is Tucker Max.

2337
01:19:39,960 --> 01:19:43,960
And I was interested because you have he wrote a book called Assholes.

2338
01:19:43,960 --> 01:19:46,520
Assholes finish first, right?

2339
01:19:46,520 --> 01:19:49,040
I don't know who Tucker Max is.

2340
01:19:49,040 --> 01:19:50,040
You know?

2341
01:19:50,040 --> 01:19:53,600
Because I remember Assholes finish first.

2342
01:19:53,600 --> 01:19:58,920
I know Tucker Max was that guy who wrote all those kind of books back in the early 2000s.

2343
01:19:58,920 --> 01:19:59,920
Yeah.

2344
01:19:59,920 --> 01:20:00,920
Yes.

2345
01:20:00,920 --> 01:20:02,120
I have they have movies about one of them.

2346
01:20:02,120 --> 01:20:04,520
I can't remember which one.

2347
01:20:04,520 --> 01:20:06,440
Maybe this was a different AJ O'Leary.

2348
01:20:06,440 --> 01:20:07,920
It could have been.

2349
01:20:07,920 --> 01:20:09,680
Yeah, I'm not familiar.

2350
01:20:09,680 --> 01:20:11,480
But I supported it because I have a book.

2351
01:20:11,480 --> 01:20:13,560
Let me show you this book that I read or I used to read.

2352
01:20:13,560 --> 01:20:14,560
I quit reading it.

2353
01:20:14,560 --> 01:20:17,240
It's called Nice Guys Finish Last.

2354
01:20:17,240 --> 01:20:21,140
And what it's about is like they call you they call you to what's this word called a

2355
01:20:21,140 --> 01:20:23,440
simp or the beta or something like this.

2356
01:20:23,440 --> 01:20:24,760
It's like a Red Bull type thing.

2357
01:20:24,760 --> 01:20:26,880
Yeah, bad pill type thing.

2358
01:20:26,880 --> 01:20:31,480
And what you do is it's like they tell you they're like, oh, man, people don't like it

2359
01:20:31,480 --> 01:20:33,640
because you're too nice or something like that.

2360
01:20:33,640 --> 01:20:36,000
And I used to follow that and take notes.

2361
01:20:36,000 --> 01:20:38,600
I quit, though, because it's not it's not the stuff.

2362
01:20:38,600 --> 01:20:40,680
Ain't the right last time magazine.

2363
01:20:40,680 --> 01:20:44,040
OK, I'm a bad nice guys.

2364
01:20:44,040 --> 01:20:46,960
The hey, man, simp and ain't easy, you know?

2365
01:20:46,960 --> 01:20:47,960
It's not.

2366
01:20:47,960 --> 01:20:48,960
That's it.

2367
01:20:48,960 --> 01:20:49,960
We had to quit that.

2368
01:20:49,960 --> 01:20:50,960
Are you a simp?

2369
01:20:50,960 --> 01:20:51,960
Oh, hell no.

2370
01:20:51,960 --> 01:20:54,440
Are you a tricker or you trick?

2371
01:20:54,440 --> 01:20:55,440
It's called trick.

2372
01:20:55,440 --> 01:20:58,120
Kind of depends on the day.

2373
01:20:58,120 --> 01:20:59,760
Yeah, yeah, I'll trick.

2374
01:20:59,760 --> 01:21:00,760
I'm good.

2375
01:21:00,760 --> 01:21:02,520
I've been like that my whole life.

2376
01:21:02,520 --> 01:21:03,520
I'll buy you a book.

2377
01:21:03,520 --> 01:21:04,520
I'm going to bring my book.

2378
01:21:04,520 --> 01:21:09,120
If I'm going to get a sloppy blow job, what's the hot tour?

2379
01:21:09,120 --> 01:21:10,120
Yeah.

2380
01:21:10,120 --> 01:21:11,920
What's wrong with buying or something?

2381
01:21:11,920 --> 01:21:12,920
Yeah.

2382
01:21:12,920 --> 01:21:13,920
Nice dinner.

2383
01:21:13,920 --> 01:21:14,920
Sure.

2384
01:21:14,920 --> 01:21:17,800
If you're not getting that, you still got to go out on a nice dinner.

2385
01:21:17,800 --> 01:21:20,400
But then most of the time, you know, it's really nice.

2386
01:21:20,400 --> 01:21:21,400
You get that.

2387
01:21:21,400 --> 01:21:22,400
Hot tour.

2388
01:21:22,400 --> 01:21:25,400
Did you know she's coming into comedy, too?

2389
01:21:25,400 --> 01:21:26,400
Of course.

2390
01:21:26,400 --> 01:21:27,400
They say she's going to come.

2391
01:21:27,400 --> 01:21:28,400
Why wouldn't you?

2392
01:21:28,400 --> 01:21:30,280
This will be this will be forgotten about in two.

2393
01:21:30,280 --> 01:21:35,560
By the time this episode comes out, people won't even remember hot to a girl.

2394
01:21:35,560 --> 01:21:37,080
That's just how it goes.

2395
01:21:37,080 --> 01:21:38,880
Talk about AJ O'Leary.

2396
01:21:38,880 --> 01:21:39,880
Yes.

2397
01:21:39,880 --> 01:21:40,880
Yeah.

2398
01:21:40,880 --> 01:21:41,880
Yes.

2399
01:21:41,880 --> 01:21:43,440
So this means Jack likes you.

2400
01:21:43,440 --> 01:21:48,120
So he wrote you ran at least one five K, but you have zero bumper stick.

2401
01:21:48,120 --> 01:21:51,160
It's confirming this zero bumper stick.

2402
01:21:51,160 --> 01:21:52,160
Yeah, that's true.

2403
01:21:52,160 --> 01:21:56,280
How does he know what my car bumper looks like?

2404
01:21:56,280 --> 01:21:57,280
We have imagery.

2405
01:21:57,280 --> 01:21:58,760
He knows a lot of things.

2406
01:21:58,760 --> 01:21:59,760
Yeah.

2407
01:21:59,760 --> 01:22:02,120
That's the only genuinely concerning thing.

2408
01:22:02,120 --> 01:22:07,400
But you have some of the numbers on the wall in your apartment.

2409
01:22:07,400 --> 01:22:08,840
So you must have ran.

2410
01:22:08,840 --> 01:22:09,840
No.

2411
01:22:09,840 --> 01:22:10,840
No.

2412
01:22:10,840 --> 01:22:12,280
What did he say?

2413
01:22:12,280 --> 01:22:17,760
I when I was in middle school, I wanted to be an Olympic marathoner.

2414
01:22:17,760 --> 01:22:20,520
My life goal.

2415
01:22:20,520 --> 01:22:28,640
And then I and then in high school, literally, I till I was 16, I wanted to be an NBA player

2416
01:22:28,640 --> 01:22:31,320
and I was not a good basketball player.

2417
01:22:31,320 --> 01:22:32,320
And I just was delusional.

2418
01:22:32,320 --> 01:22:34,880
Like, yeah, going to the NBA.

2419
01:22:34,880 --> 01:22:35,880
I love it.

2420
01:22:35,880 --> 01:22:36,880
Same here.

2421
01:22:36,880 --> 01:22:37,880
I love it.

2422
01:22:37,880 --> 01:22:38,880
I was same way with football.

2423
01:22:38,880 --> 01:22:40,200
Sometimes you just have to have that delusion.

2424
01:22:40,200 --> 01:22:41,200
Yeah.

2425
01:22:41,200 --> 01:22:42,200
You know what?

2426
01:22:42,200 --> 01:22:43,200
You never know.

2427
01:22:43,200 --> 01:22:45,840
You could have been the new Muggsy Bowles or something like that.

2428
01:22:45,840 --> 01:22:47,840
Could have been.

2429
01:22:47,840 --> 01:22:48,840
M.B.

2430
01:22:48,840 --> 01:22:49,840
M.B.

2431
01:22:49,840 --> 01:22:52,840
He kind of looks like him.

2432
01:22:52,840 --> 01:22:56,520
Dude, listen, I'm on the same dude because I used to like in middle school because I

2433
01:22:56,520 --> 01:22:58,640
don't know why I used to get every NBA game.

2434
01:22:58,640 --> 01:23:00,080
I really wanted to be on it.

2435
01:23:00,080 --> 01:23:02,440
And I used to try out for the team every year.

2436
01:23:02,440 --> 01:23:04,760
And I always end up being a water boy.

2437
01:23:04,760 --> 01:23:09,760
And then like one time I was in the class or in the in the in the locker room and they

2438
01:23:09,760 --> 01:23:11,760
were like, I was like, damn, I just don't get it.

2439
01:23:11,760 --> 01:23:13,040
How come I can never be on this team?

2440
01:23:13,040 --> 01:23:14,840
And then he looked at me, put his hand on my shoulder.

2441
01:23:14,840 --> 01:23:17,480
He's like, listen, man, some people are meant to be stuff.

2442
01:23:17,480 --> 01:23:18,480
You're meant to be a water boy.

2443
01:23:18,480 --> 01:23:19,480
And that's what you're going to be.

2444
01:23:19,480 --> 01:23:20,480
Damn, dude.

2445
01:23:20,480 --> 01:23:21,480
And that's indoor water.

2446
01:23:21,480 --> 01:23:22,480
That's not even outside.

2447
01:23:22,480 --> 01:23:23,480
That's some bullshit.

2448
01:23:23,480 --> 01:23:24,480
You're meant to be a water boy.

2449
01:23:24,480 --> 01:23:25,480
You're meant to be a water boy.

2450
01:23:25,480 --> 01:23:26,480
It's good for you.

2451
01:23:26,480 --> 01:23:27,480
Water is good for you.

2452
01:23:27,480 --> 01:23:28,480
It is.

2453
01:23:28,480 --> 01:23:29,480
But not for me to do that.

2454
01:23:29,480 --> 01:23:30,480
Yeah, I get it.

2455
01:23:30,480 --> 01:23:31,480
I'm sorry.

2456
01:23:31,480 --> 01:23:32,480
I was trying to make wise.

2457
01:23:32,480 --> 01:23:33,480
What team did you want to play for?

2458
01:23:33,480 --> 01:23:41,120
I can see AJ being on the Timberwolves.

2459
01:23:41,120 --> 01:23:44,120
I want to go to the NBA, but I don't want to play for the Kings.

2460
01:23:44,120 --> 01:23:49,120
Ain't coming up, right?

2461
01:23:49,120 --> 01:23:54,120
This is 2016.

2462
01:23:54,120 --> 01:23:55,120
I love Derrick Rose.

2463
01:23:55,120 --> 01:23:56,120
He was my favorite player.

2464
01:23:56,120 --> 01:23:57,120
Hell yeah.

2465
01:23:57,120 --> 01:23:58,120
Go Bulls.

2466
01:23:58,120 --> 01:23:59,120
An O'Leary Bulls jersey.

2467
01:23:59,120 --> 01:24:00,120
Dude, that would have been cool.

2468
01:24:00,120 --> 01:24:01,120
I would love that.

2469
01:24:01,120 --> 01:24:02,120
You would have cleaned up by Wrigley Field.

2470
01:24:02,120 --> 01:24:03,120
Oh, yeah.

2471
01:24:03,120 --> 01:24:04,120
Oh, dude.

2472
01:24:04,120 --> 01:24:05,120
Easily.

2473
01:24:05,120 --> 01:24:06,120
Windy City.

2474
01:24:06,120 --> 01:24:07,120
Have you ever been there?

2475
01:24:07,120 --> 01:24:08,120
Never.

2476
01:24:08,120 --> 01:24:16,120
Go to Wrigley Field and outside there is all bars.

2477
01:24:16,120 --> 01:24:17,120
Okay.

2478
01:24:17,120 --> 01:24:20,120
And that's where you should go.

2479
01:24:20,120 --> 01:24:21,120
Okay.

2480
01:24:21,120 --> 01:24:24,120
I go there too because it's only white bitches.

2481
01:24:24,120 --> 01:24:25,120
Oh, okay.

2482
01:24:25,120 --> 01:24:28,120
You don't know his preferences.

2483
01:24:28,120 --> 01:24:29,120
But I'm saying he'll be safe there.

2484
01:24:29,120 --> 01:24:30,240
We haven't even asked him that.

2485
01:24:30,240 --> 01:24:32,120
We haven't even gotten there on the notes yet.

2486
01:24:32,120 --> 01:24:33,120
We haven't.

2487
01:24:33,120 --> 01:24:35,240
What's your favorite race?

2488
01:24:35,240 --> 01:24:38,240
We have a pie chart of his former lovers.

2489
01:24:38,240 --> 01:24:42,240
Pull it up on pages.

2490
01:24:42,240 --> 01:24:44,240
That's very good.

2491
01:24:44,240 --> 01:24:47,000
That'd be nice if it was.

2492
01:24:47,000 --> 01:24:49,480
I can see you fucking with black chicks.

2493
01:24:49,480 --> 01:24:50,480
Have you?

2494
01:24:50,480 --> 01:24:51,480
I never have.

2495
01:24:51,480 --> 01:24:52,480
No?

2496
01:24:52,480 --> 01:24:53,480
Never have.

2497
01:24:53,480 --> 01:24:54,480
Not opposed to it?

2498
01:24:54,480 --> 01:24:55,480
Not opposed to it.

2499
01:24:55,480 --> 01:24:56,480
Try to be open minded.

2500
01:24:56,480 --> 01:24:58,440
Mostly whites so far in life.

2501
01:24:58,440 --> 01:25:00,120
I'm sorry, man.

2502
01:25:00,120 --> 01:25:02,240
We went from North Carolina to Birmingham.

2503
01:25:02,240 --> 01:25:05,240
Actually, they told me there's a lot of Spaniards.

2504
01:25:05,240 --> 01:25:08,240
Have you ever been to Birmingham?

2505
01:25:08,240 --> 01:25:09,240
Me?

2506
01:25:09,240 --> 01:25:10,240
Yeah.

2507
01:25:10,240 --> 01:25:11,240
Like once or twice.

2508
01:25:11,240 --> 01:25:12,240
Yeah, we went together, man.

2509
01:25:12,240 --> 01:25:13,800
It's pretty even split.

2510
01:25:13,800 --> 01:25:17,240
But I didn't see the Puerto Ricans they were talking about there.

2511
01:25:17,240 --> 01:25:18,240
Yeah, no.

2512
01:25:18,240 --> 01:25:19,880
Birmingham, it's all blacks and whites.

2513
01:25:19,880 --> 01:25:20,880
Really?

2514
01:25:20,880 --> 01:25:21,880
Yeah, yeah.

2515
01:25:21,880 --> 01:25:22,880
Who was telling me?

2516
01:25:22,880 --> 01:25:26,440
I think it was Keenan was like, Puerto Rican chicks all up in there.

2517
01:25:26,440 --> 01:25:27,440
Could be.

2518
01:25:27,440 --> 01:25:30,440
He targets them.

2519
01:25:30,440 --> 01:25:35,120
That's Keenan, you know?

2520
01:25:35,120 --> 01:25:36,640
It's Keenan.

2521
01:25:36,640 --> 01:25:40,040
He knows what he wants.

2522
01:25:40,040 --> 01:25:42,240
That's cool.

2523
01:25:42,240 --> 01:25:45,920
But mostly whites at this point.

2524
01:25:45,920 --> 01:25:48,160
Dabbled in Asian before.

2525
01:25:48,160 --> 01:25:49,160
Oh, wow.

2526
01:25:49,160 --> 01:25:51,920
That's how he just found it.

2527
01:25:51,920 --> 01:25:55,040
Actually, no, that's not true.

2528
01:25:55,040 --> 01:26:02,320
I was with this girl who her parents were Indian.

2529
01:26:02,320 --> 01:26:03,320
Southeast Asian.

2530
01:26:03,320 --> 01:26:06,920
Yeah, Southeast Asian and East Asian and white.

2531
01:26:06,920 --> 01:26:07,920
Did her dad look like me?

2532
01:26:07,920 --> 01:26:08,920
Wait, what is East Asian?

2533
01:26:08,920 --> 01:26:09,920
I don't know.

2534
01:26:09,920 --> 01:26:10,920
Thailand?

2535
01:26:10,920 --> 01:26:11,920
Could have.

2536
01:26:11,920 --> 01:26:12,920
Yeah.

2537
01:26:12,920 --> 01:26:14,720
They're on the border.

2538
01:26:14,720 --> 01:26:15,720
They were trans.

2539
01:26:15,720 --> 01:26:16,720
He doesn't want to talk.

2540
01:26:16,720 --> 01:26:17,720
It's fine.

2541
01:26:17,720 --> 01:26:19,760
It was a sex tourism thing.

2542
01:26:19,760 --> 01:26:22,400
Five cents suck bar, dude.

2543
01:26:22,400 --> 01:26:24,440
We've all been there.

2544
01:26:24,440 --> 01:26:30,160
We have a private note in our iPhone about it.

2545
01:26:30,160 --> 01:26:40,280
First of all, I can't talk about that on here, but I'll talk about it in the solo part.

2546
01:26:40,280 --> 01:26:42,240
All right.

2547
01:26:42,240 --> 01:26:46,800
AJ, that ghostly Muhammad Ali over there means that's the end of the pod.

2548
01:26:46,800 --> 01:26:47,800
Oh, wow.

2549
01:26:47,800 --> 01:26:49,040
It went by so fast.

2550
01:26:49,040 --> 01:26:51,360
We could literally talk to you for three hours.

2551
01:26:51,360 --> 01:26:52,400
This was fun, man.

2552
01:26:52,400 --> 01:26:54,000
Thank you guys for having me.

2553
01:26:54,000 --> 01:26:55,000
Thank you so much.

2554
01:26:55,000 --> 01:26:59,800
If you want to, right now, in this camera right here, anything you got coming up, it'll

2555
01:26:59,800 --> 01:27:01,640
be on the side of you.

2556
01:27:01,640 --> 01:27:05,400
All your socials and stuff for people listening.

2557
01:27:05,400 --> 01:27:08,680
I will be at... Is this good for the promo, you think?

2558
01:27:08,680 --> 01:27:15,600
Hold it right over your face.

2559
01:27:15,600 --> 01:27:17,320
Laugh Till You Cry Show.

2560
01:27:17,320 --> 01:27:23,200
I did a very awkward promo for this on Instagram already this week, so it's up.

2561
01:27:23,200 --> 01:27:25,680
July 31st at Carter's Hookah Lounge.

2562
01:27:25,680 --> 01:27:26,680
Come see me.

2563
01:27:26,680 --> 01:27:30,720
We'll play that promo again, too, if we can.

2564
01:27:30,720 --> 01:27:31,720
Yeah.

2565
01:27:31,720 --> 01:27:32,720
Hell yeah.

2566
01:27:32,720 --> 01:27:33,720
What else?

2567
01:27:33,720 --> 01:27:35,480
Funny Business, July 18th, Kerrigan's Pub.

2568
01:27:35,480 --> 01:27:37,960
Come check it out.

2569
01:27:37,960 --> 01:27:38,960
Thank you guys for having me.

2570
01:27:38,960 --> 01:27:39,960
Socials.

2571
01:27:39,960 --> 01:27:40,960
Of course, man.

2572
01:27:40,960 --> 01:27:41,960
Socials.

2573
01:27:41,960 --> 01:27:42,960
YouTube.

2574
01:27:42,960 --> 01:27:43,960
You don't need to look at my YouTube.

2575
01:27:43,960 --> 01:27:44,960
Funny Guy AJ, 9243.

2576
01:27:44,960 --> 01:27:47,960
There are 9242 others.

2577
01:27:47,960 --> 01:27:56,280
And Facebook, AJ O'Leary, Instagram, AJ O'Leary 43.

2578
01:27:56,280 --> 01:27:59,760
So see you later.

2579
01:27:59,760 --> 01:28:00,760
Alligator.

2580
01:28:00,760 --> 01:28:03,760
After a while.

2581
01:28:03,760 --> 01:28:04,760
Crocodile.

2582
01:28:04,760 --> 01:28:05,760
Hey.

2583
01:28:05,760 --> 01:28:06,760
Hell yeah.

2584
01:28:06,760 --> 01:28:07,760
I'll just split.

2585
01:28:07,760 --> 01:28:21,080
isz