This week on clown college
Now I guess we're on the topic one-on-one
In the ring who do you think has it? Oh, it's Trump. Yeah, we all know it's
It's a big it's just three. That's the thing. It would wait. It would look it would look awful
Like they would just be like rolling around you ever seen like old people fight
Those clips of old people fighting and one of them just turns and then like nothing really happens. All right
I've never seen any videos of your family. Look at me. Oh
This is the clown college podcast
We're just a couple open micers trying to make our way through the scene where we interview
Comedians throughout different stages of their comedy career no matter if they're open micers headliners or traveling comedians
I'm here to Jamie 2.0. I just talk a lot more damn it Brandon go sit in the corner
Wait, oh I thought you did Brandon no, no you
Like totally eliminate that I was about to be like don't worry, dude
I was wearing green on April Fool's Day
First of all, it's not April Fool's Day and that's not what you're supposed to do on April. Yeah
Yeah, that's St. Patrick's right there. They're close together. That's drug abuse man
You do enough and you'll start thinking some creative things
That stand-up comedy. Hey comedy. Oh, yeah, what you been up to Brandon?
You know, I just been trying to live doing a good life
Been able to host I've been doing
Yeah, really fun I've been having a good time
I've been what I've noticed today Brandon picked up a new fear dude. What's that elements the wind? Oh
Yeah, because it's crazy shit man
Breaking into my house the other day fucked up my roof and all that shit
Man, then in my neighbor call. Hey, man, you better check that. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Wait
What was that the voice you did for your neighbor? Yeah, I was trying to cuz you know, we're in the South man
A lot of country people so I try to make make it I try
Good on you. I try to sometimes mix it up and make it sound like we in the area
I'll be like, hey, yeah, Brandon, you better check that. Yeah, you're right. I will trying to be inclusive
Yes, I like it. Yes. I am you got that a smoky the bear shirt on
Yes, I do because you're wearing a fire resistant jacket is
Hell yeah, only you could prevent wildfires they say yeah
Did y'all do anything for April Fool's Day man you fool anybody? Oh, dude, not this April fools
Well back when I was younger do
Pull the prank on my boy Sal
Sal
Short Mexican guy. He used to be fat. He was really fat in this point
And this is it's just important for the story and those in big is a miracle
Wonder
So so we were like me and D Lowe and like we're gonna pull prank on him. We're gonna go out
We live but we were in Illinois all cornfields. So we we went to the cornfield
We had a D Lowe's car and if you put a car in and neutral and turn it off
You can't turn it back on
So whenever we were like, I would you got to get out and take a piss looks like a random spot
But at the same time we had my boy Chris over there and they're like a little
Drive like a little where the tractors go through
In the cornfield and he's hiding off with a Jason mask and a chainsaw
Swear to God chainsaw with the the chain taking off, right?
And so we get out mean D Lowe's like man
we got to take a piss first of all, we tell him we're going to this party and his girl was a
And this girl wanted to holler at him cuz he didn't want to go he was like man
No, I'm like, no this girl want to holler at you like
Alright, so he got in there April Fool's number one
So
We put the child child locks on the back seat
He was in the back seat swear and then we get out we're like, oh we got to take a piss
We turn off the car we come back in and D Lowe tries to start the car
Click click click. What the fuck and then you just hear room
room from the chainsaw
Then he starts walking up with the Jason mask and me and deals like oh fuck this and we got out the car ran
And we just ran far enough to get out the lights and then come back around and then Chris was over there with the chainsaw
And it was like this much room in the window and he was sticking it in there
It's out couldn't get through the front
It's something bouncing around in the back and he's kicking the door like if he went to one side he start kicking the door and
The other thing is D Lowe and if you guys don't know who he is, but it's my boy
He's the most random person in the world for some reason. He had a bad frame in the back seat of a car
So Sal's trying to fight to get out. You got this fucking bad frame. It's a little car
He can't get through the front and so he scratches up his arm and everything
He's got a whole bed frame a whole bed frame metal bed frame in the back
Why you got this do with a chainsaw and adjacent mass trying to kill you? Oh
Man if we had cameras back then do if you posted that today YouTube would take it down
Oh, yeah, it's terms of service. So you gave that guy PTSD
He loves it. He loves it Sally Poo boy. Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry. So that sounds not fun
It was a great man. Yeah, I never did nothing like that. No crazy prank
Just the classic like put saran wrap over the toilet
Yeah that but that's that's a little bit more rowdy
Well, I mean
I don't think so dude, but it's not like that's a traumatic experience. I would be
I'll be traumatized what you think it just got stuck in your asshole
I mean you just sitting there you're sitting there shit. You like, oh, what's this feeling it is like coming back?
Yeah, man, but also it's kind of your fault because the saran wrap is right there dude
It's not like it's so transparent that you can't see it
But it's like you do it the night before that way you're early in the morning
Somebody's got to take a piss and then all of a sudden it's just not what you wanted it to be
Yeah, and and I faced a lot of consequences for that. My grandparents weren't happy dude, but it's okay
You did it to your grandparents. That's the only people that I lived with. Oh
God, yeah, they didn't like it dude. I thought it was gonna be fun. It wasn't
it was kind of a
Thing oh my elder abuse is at an all-time high first of all go into any retirement home doesn't your
Doesn't your retarded friend?
Old dude beat him up with a laptop
First of all, I'm not getting to nobody's putting me on my knees with a Hewlett Packer
First of all, you're gonna need one of those fucking big-ass gateway computers and he say beat his legs
This is it this is like a real report this is in a report if they said he beat his legs
You know one of my boys watch it he was like
We could we talked about an early episode and he was like he was he was like, yeah, they found that Gus asked a lot
I'm saying his name. I like that's my nigga. No gut
But that's a hip of violation. Yeah, but he got his legs beat by a
teenage
What the fuck are those people called? They ain't slow. You talking about the real strong ones the site
Not the kind that slammed you off the monkey bars to the other
Behavioral behavioral issues like a trick. Yeah, so they gotta go to a home. Yeah. Yeah, and they beat him beat his legs
I don't know what you mean with the lamp who knows I seen a I seen a paper report and
He reported that they beat his leg
I believe it
I'm all here. Well, you know, you gotta start from the bottom
He got a start from the bottom
Was it kind of similar to that incident where the teacher got beat up for taking that kid's Nintendo? Oh, did you see that?
He fucked but he like almost killed her in some shit
I said I seen the punch did he hit her what she was on the ground?
Yeah, it's like why she was I don't think he's done. He didn't know I do
Oh, yeah, and they said something about like about this. Yeah, they said something like he autistic or whatever
Yeah, maybe I locked that autistic nigga up. I don't get fuck you all that
He beat somebody like that on the ground. That's not a social cue man. No, that's just beating somebody's ass
You know the difference
So I'm saying and and if you severely autistic and that's the shit you do you still need to be locked up somewhere
I'm not saying it's prison, but you need to be somewhere where people got a island, dude
How much does it suck you get your ass kicked by a student?
Then you don't have health insurance cuz you're a teacher. You make like 35 grand a year. Hold on. They don't get health insurance
I'm sure they do but it's probably not not the greatest
Yeah, I'm sure they do but it's probably not the greatest
You know, you probably got the bronze plan. You still gotta pay $75 to get an x-ray
This dude beat your ass cuz you took his switch man, and then he switched up on you
You can't be doing that dude
You thought it was a game. It was not dude. Took Super Smash Bros and got smashed
That's some shit
That's what happened Donkey Kong style too if I remember. Oh my gosh. Yes, man
But also if you're the teacher dude
You probably have had an idea like if you if that student is willing to do that level of crazy shit
You probably had some behavioral issues with him before and I'm not fucking taking I'm letting if it's gonna chill him out
Let him be on the switch. It's like in something about Mary whenever he would touch the dudes ears
He would just y'all remember that movie. I mean, I've heard the name. I've never seen it
What's it called something about Mary? Well, is that the one where Meryl Streep aborts her child?
It's Ben Stiller and Cameron Diaz
Oh, yeah, yeah when he zips his nut up in there
Oh
Brad Farr's in there. Hey dude, shout out Ben Stiller for producing Severance
Talk about it one of the best TV shows ever made. All right. I'm glad you said that one season
It's probably like in terms of like concept and just how well it's shot and how good the plot is and the pacing
It might be my favorite show. Oh, never like only one season is the only drawback
We'll say that one season sometimes less is more and they give you just enough to keep you crawling back
Do you like a good crack dealer?
He's not gonna sell you everything but he's gonna get you hooked
I'm gonna watch this tonight. It's Brandon. He is so good
Brandon had we put it on Brandon was here, but I had cooked ribs that night
Oh, so he's hey
I tell you I've never I think I got a picture, but I don't know but we should have took video
He was he was like like Alex would laugh at the show and then he'd be like
He had so many was stuffing he had so much stuffing I was like this is as soon as he got done eating
I don't know if he put the plate down. He was already passing
But he would just laugh randomly like Alex would start laughing he
Was in a food coma
Diabetic coma man. I was trying to get a little bit of a
Diabetic coma man. I was trying to make sure they knew I was okay. So I was trying to laugh
He does try to laugh to let you know he's okay cuz when he got fucked up dude in Chattanooga
Like he would like throw up and then he'd be like
I'm good. And then he's our shadow
He will sit there and like
Like say the speech that Rocky like gives to himself like he'll say it to himself. Yes
It's inspirational as fuck. Yeah. Yeah, you can't give up
As drunk as I was in Chattanooga. I knew I couldn't give up that night
Especially front everybody like nah, man
No, I can't let him I can't look like a pussy out in front of everybody. So I said I'm doing it
I'm gonna make it and I kept pushing. Hell. Yeah. Well, you did your sets man
Oh, yeah, you did both your sets. You work hard you get to play hard. You do. That's what I'm saying and Brandon plays the hardest
Thank you, man on the road Brandon turns into a demon. Oh, it is true both times on the road. Hey, look at that boy
In Birmingham outside of Plumb bar, it was like pouring down rain
You remember that? Uh-huh. And then I walked outside and Brandon was out there and he was talking this lady
He was like you like them plumb bars
She's like, yeah, I'm gonna get me one of them. I'm gonna get me one of them. She's like, yeah
Yeah, you do that
I don't remember that one. I know you don't but I do
That's funny must have been good shit. What was it like the blue torchlighter?
Brandon I'm be honest with you. There might not have been a torchlighter. This might have just been something you were talking about dude
I don't know if she's a good person. I don't know if she's a good person
This might have just been something you were talking about dude. I don't know if she had a torchlighter or not
But she did have it backwards. So that's indicative of having a torchlighter
Okay, because he can't like that with a fucking big dude. Yeah, you're probably out there smoking too, wasn't it? I don't think so
When is he not? Yeah
Not crack or cigarettes or anything bad
No, nothing bad
Nothing bad. It was a herbal
Tea medicine. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it was completely legal. Yeah, it was smoking. It was completely
Yeah, dude, Brandon. Look at him, dude. That's a lie. He's wearing a shirt about forest fires. You know, he
Obeys the law man. I support the law man. Yeah, what's your favorite law?
Skigi fireman. What's my favorite law?
Fireman jacket. You said what's my favorite law? So the dogs can't bite through
What's your favorite law man?
Man, that's a tough one. Let me think. Let me think.
Damn, there's so many laws, but which one would I like?
I mean, I mean if you do something wrong, like you I mean if you do something wrong you go to jail. That's cool
I feel like that's the best one I can do. I don't know.
A lot of fucked up laws. I don't know.
That's true man. Yeah, there is a lot of fucked up laws.
What'd you say the law about pouring salt?
You can't well you can't pour salt on railroad tracks or I know you can't do that
But there's one in Alabama where it's like you can't walk across a railroad track with ice cream cone in your back pocket on a Sunday
What? It's something crazy like that. What? Yeah, it's like look it up dude. It's like hyper specific. Ice cream back pocket. Ice cream back pocket railroad law.
Regional legislature.
No, but there's like they got crazy laws like that man. So you just know that something happened. Well, that's not it.
Let me get on here.
Okay, in back pocket.
Why does Alabama have a law defining ice cream?
In back pocket. Okay, it's illegal for a person to walk down. That's weird.
Walk down the street with an ice cream cone in their back pocket. So I was a little off but I knew it was something like that dude.
What the fuck does that even mean? How could you come up with this law?
It's because you're gay man.
Oh they got an explanation man. It's okay. It said back when most people got around on horseback, you know horse fees would put ice cream in their pockets to lure the horses away without being charged for stealing.
What? So they're scared of us stealing horses like we're gonna do that shit.
That makes no sense. I'm gonna have to ask Maddie about this one dude. I didn't think horses were really that into ice cream.
I didn't either. That's good to know though.
But what the fuck. This makes no sense. Ice cream is the hardest thing to transport.
And like horse thieves, this had to have been like the late 1800s dude. It's hot as fuck.
It's not like we got an electric refrigerator like we do now dude. How the fuck are you doing?
Like how is this a law man? It's bad years. Maybe you can only do it in a bad fucking year. Maybe they needed their fucking horses stolen bitches.
I don't know. Some of them. No. You might be onto something dude. I might be onto something. But click on that man. I want to know more about this legislature right here.
Let's click on it. Horse thieves? Alabama. Well that shit is just gonna tell you the next one.
Let's see what this one is. In Alaska it's illegal to give alcohol to a moose. Well that makes sense. Oh yeah that's definitely because you playing with fire.
Them big motherfuckers. But it probably takes so much to get them drunk dude. Oh hell yeah. They're so big. Yeah they are huge. Arizona.
Refuse a person. You can't tell somebody they can't have a glass of water man. I mean. I mean yeah. Well you talking about like vendors or you talking about somebody coming to the crib like I have to get my glass of water.
Widespread belief that it's unlawful in Arizona to refuse a person a glass of water. I guess because it's so hot. Yeah.
But it doesn't really say that's an official law. What's the next one Brandon? I got to know some more about this. Arkansas. Arkansas. Arkansas. It's against the law to hawk your horn in front of a sandwich shop at the 9pm.
The fuck. Well you know. Well I would love to know the origin. Are you going to fuck up the sandwich process? Is that a frog? This looks kind of illegal. Let's see.
It says a frog that has participated in a frog jumping competition cannot be legally killed or by extension eaten.
Dude you know what I think is the funniest part about this one. I equate it to like horse racing you know. Like once the horse gets past four years old it's like well he's out of his prime. Let's fucking put a bullet in the back of his head.
Can you imagine these fucking redneck ass people with frogs. They're like he's past his prime dude. His fucking his quads are degenerating dude. Let's put him out of his misery and just fucking smash.
They're like it's frog leg time. Fry it up. Press dismiss on that. Oh yeah. Oh yeah man you fry it up. You got yourself a meal. I love these man.
If you're yearning to wake up to the crow of a rooster don't settle in Louisiana. No Louisville. Colorado. In this bolder country town. It's illegal to own these loud mouthed fowl.
You can't have a rooster? So you can't have a rooster. That's just one county dude. That's okay. I mean that's cool. I don't want a rooster anyway. They're not real Americans.
Oh man. They can't say pickle isn't a pickle unless it can bounce. Do pickles bounce man? I don't know man. They say a pickle isn't a pickle unless it can bounce. That's weird.
What? Is that a Connecticut one? Dude what do you mean? Is that a well known thing? Maybe Connecticut pickles are different. I don't know. They have a different pickling process.
I wonder what pickle we're talking about. I think it's the exact same. I think they do it the same for everything that they pickle. I think that's kind of the point.
I mean that makes sense. That should be illegal anywhere. In Delaware it's illegal to have a picnic on the highway.
Well yeah that's dumb as shit. I mean that makes sense. I agree. Somebody did it so they had to make it a law. Come on people. We gotta be better than this. White first of all.
Oh Miami Beach is against the law to sell any food, even the state celebrated citrus. You can't sell food? Okay. That's weird. All them fucking restaurants.
Look at that Florida citrus meringue pie. Wait. Where? You mean search it up? No it's highlighted right there at the end. I want to see what this is about.
How to make it. Okay. Man that looks good. If you tell Brandon to do it, he'll do it. He's the most loyal soldier. See what they look like.
Hell yeah. Okay let's see. I want to see the end result. Come on. What kind of citruses do they use? I'm thinking oranges because that's native to Florida.
I think it's lemon. Limes. I feel like lime is a citrus. Persimmon maybe? Cream of tarts. Okay come on guys. Tell me what it is. They ain't telling me.
Peppermint meringue. Colored meringue. Whoa what is that dude? They're just meringues. I like the colored one. I might do that. I like the colored. You like the colored ones? Yep.
Colored meringue. Yeah. Colored meringue. Meringue. I've only said it 20 times. Colored meringue. Meringue.
Maka fucking meringue. Remember that last night? Oh yeah that was real. Yep. Those two. First of all that brunette lady was drunk as fuck. Drunk as fuck.
Which I get it. I had that little tropical jug thing. That was nice dude. It was $13 but it was nice. That's a pretty good price for how big it was though.
Probably a couple different alcohols. A lot of ice man. A lot of crushed ice. That's how they sneak it up on you dude. Crushed. It's fun and shit. Yeah it's fun until you're out of alcohol dude.
Unbelievable. Bullshit. So it's very effective because I might try that next time man. Yeah dude I got the famous blue raincoat.
Blue paracow. Fat sammys. Fat sammys. Wednesdays with Brandon co-host now. Hell yeah dude. Black panther hidden. Sorry I studied. Black panther hidden dragon. Yep. Every Wednesday at fat sammys. BPHD.
Starting at 8.30. Yeah they did some fun things. What'd he ask you? Newly wedded questions? Oh yeah. Oh that was cool. That was fun. I like that. Me too. I think we're going to start doing that more. That was really nice.
Hell yeah. Brandon on the spot. Can't beat it. I like asking Brandon questions dude. I'll give you an answer.
Brandon do you feel like in today's society the institution of marriage has been deteriorated by like kind of just a step away from tradition?
Yes. Yes I do. I mean there's a lot of different versions these days of marriage. It could be anything. I mean you could have a whole bunch of people in a marriage now. You don't have to do it. You could be like you know what we're married but we're not married.
Like we're still married we can't afford to divorce type stuff. You know so many. Business deals. Marriage yeah it's like it's a lot. It's beautiful. It's different. And it's like a fusion barbecue kind of you know. It's twisty. It's different. There you go.
What about open marriage? How you guys feel about that? I mean I wouldn't do that. I'm not going to lie man. The hell? No. You walk in there every time. The fuck is that? Oh this Earl. This is Fred. He's in my bed. Coming on my channel.
Because somebody isn't fucking as much as the other person. They fucking fuck. Every time. I would be cool with it but his name can't be Earl dude. That's over the line bro.
Earl Ray Jr. man. You fucking Darth Vader. James Earl Jones. Oh fuck. Who'd you say? James Earl. He said Earl Ray Jr. James Earl Ray is the guy that killed Martin Luther King. Fuck. You know that's the guy. I knew man.
He missed them all. No but James Earl Jones and James Earl Ray it's like one difference. But he said Jr. So he put Martin Luther King in there. Yeah. Because that's who killed over there. Yeah he did it. You didn't even know. He looked like he just committed a crime. You know what. You didn't. I knew that. That was the whole setup.
He played the badumts for Martin Luther King's assassin. No. No no no no no no. That was the worst day in American history. One of the worst days. One of them. A lot of worst days. Give me the top three worst days in American history dude.
Well definitely 9-11 was really bad. Nah it ain't close. It ain't even close to the worst day in America though. Okay. Yeah. The worst throughout history. Let's see what else happened. I'd say when they took the snack wraps away from McDonald's that was a pretty dark day for me man.
Every time they take a shamrock shake away from McDonald's that's a bad day. That's kind of the beauty of the shamrock shake man. It's seasonal. Love it so much though. I like that Grimace shake. When am I going to see that again man? Dude first of all that was terrible. Really? It was. It was purple and it tasted like vanilla but worse. Like they added some kind of little extra flavoring in there and it was awful. It was like blueberry. It was like blueberry. Was it blueberry? Yes. It tasted blue but it was purple. Yes.
I don't know man. To me it tasted like vanilla. Maybe I got a weird batch. A weak batch. So it was just vanilla. And I only drank half, like a couple sips of it. The rest of it I like poured on my asshole in a public park. Oh that's understandable. Yeah it was blueberry flavored though. Blueberry? Yeah I was drinking it and I gave it to my girl and she was like ugh that's blueberry. I feel like if I knew it was blueberry I would like it more. Yeah. I think part of the factor is like you don't know what it's supposed to be.
So you're like ugh this tastes weird. Yeah. It's like have you ever like had like a like you go to a fast food restaurant and you order like a Coke Zero in the drive thru and then you taste it and it's like Sprite and you're like ugh. Oh yeah. What the fuck is wrong with the root beer dude?
That's why you gotta get them frozen drinks man. Like those are way better. Like you know they got the frozen Coke. Oh like Taco Bell dude? You wanna drink that though when you're eating some? I see that's my thing. I don't. I want liquid. And like if I'm getting a dessert on its own it has to be better than that dude. Oh definitely. It can't be flavored ice dude. No no. I gotta get a Blizzard man. You've been hating on Blizzard. Blizzard's a BOGO right now dude. Go get yourself one. You saw what I pulled up with earlier? That fucking large. Oh shit. That fucking large ass nutter butter shake.
Yeah. I like shakes but not Blizzard. But the Blizzard dude. Yeah. Wait. You scared of the thickness dude. Yeah. I like it. I like I get up in there dude. I love it thick and thick and thickness man. That's what I'm saying dude. The Royal New York Cheesecake Blizzard from Dairy Queen. The Strawberry Cheesecake dude. Oh man. That does nothing for me. Insanity. Let me show you the camera. Insanity. Not even a little bit. There's some Blizzards that are ass. Like if you like the frosted animal crackers Blizzard dude. Grow up. All right. Dude why would I search? I'm a Asian. I have a lot of
I was damn, I was literally searching that.
Oh shit, my bad.
That?
I mean, that one's great, dude.
I totally understand the appeal.
It's just not really my thing.
All right, nevermind, we're going back out there.
I'm fake as fuck, dude.
I switch up right now, dude.
Yeah, I was like, I was searching,
as soon as you said, you better not have that,
I was like, fuck, like you'll see it.
I was typing it.
That does sound better than whatever you just said.
Dude, I'm so tired of you people, man.
What?
That came off wrong.
You people?
My bad.
I was talking about mentally handicapped people,
not black people.
Oh yeah, I understand.
I understand.
No, I actually haven't tried it, man.
I think I was just hating it.
I had a bad experience as a child
with some frosted animal crackers, man.
Oh, okay.
So it's trauma, because those things are not bad.
Yeah, I mean, I was a larger kid,
and it was like, you know how they have
the frosted animal crackers, the ones that are good?
And then they have those little bullshit ones
with like the fucking weakest layer of frosting.
It's like not even frosting.
Not even on there?
Yeah, I bought those on accident,
so I think I'm just holding a grudge, man.
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to take that out on you, Brandon.
It's okay, that's like me with TGI Fridays, man.
I've never been.
One time, I was a kid, and I choked on a strawberry,
and I had to get the dude out there to help me.
The dude?
Like the staff, it was so bad.
He had to like give you the helmet?
Yeah, a little bit, because I couldn't do it.
I was dying, and then he saved me.
I don't know what was wrong.
What were you eating?
What was the strawberry a part of?
I don't remember.
I was just eating some fruit, and being a kid,
I remember laughing.
He said he remember laughing.
I was laughing, probably.
I was just eating some fruit, and being a kid.
I think there was some laughter involved.
Yeah, sometimes I remember stuff,
and I'm like, what the fuck was that about?
I don't know why this thing haunts me sometimes.
When I was a kid, I don't know why I just been walking in,
looking at all these people.
It was probably like three, I think.
And then I just started crying.
I want everybody to know he has six fingers up.
Hold on.
I thought he put him up like this.
All right, man, he had three ears.
He literally just had six fingers up.
He just did this to do three.
By the way, that was insane.
Yeah, I was like, so you got three, four, five,
and then you got six.
Dude, Brandon has the most unique pantomiming
I've ever seen, dude.
You'll never find anything like this.
Have you seen the generational changes in pantomiming?
Uh-uh.
You know, take a picture.
Pretend like you're taking a picture.
Just pose for a picture?
No, you're taking the picture.
You have, yeah, okay.
How would you do it?
How would I take the picture?
All right, get the picture ready.
See?
What kind of camera is he?
See, that's good.
No, but he used a camera.
The crazy part is kids today, you ask them,
hey, pretend like you're taking a picture,
and they go like this.
Because the phone.
Makes sense.
And then, you know, they did the same thing
with talking on the phone.
Like, you guys, I'd do this.
You guys probably do that too.
They held it like this, like it's a smartphone.
It's wild, man.
It's wild.
Yeah, they wouldn't.
They don't even know what one of these are.
No, man.
Did you, you probably, because you grew up with your
grandparents.
We still have a landline, dude.
Yeah, right.
Yeah.
Did you ever have a landline?
Are you talking about the one where you gotta do that?
No, just the regular phone at home.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
So y'all still had them,
but the generation after y'all won't.
Oh, no.
No.
Won't have phones.
There's no use.
My sister, she's probably never gonna,
she never really got to experience that.
Like two years or three years,
but by 2012, it was all over with.
Just when you lost your landline.
Just when the world ended.
Well, yeah, that's when they started
switching the cell phones and stuff,
and then I would have to use the parents' phone,
because they wouldn't let me have a phone,
so I was like 16, man.
16?
Yeah.
They didn't trust me.
I was just talking to my friends about this.
I was like, what's the age that you guys are gonna give
your kids phone?
And they both were like, we're not giving them.
I'm like, you're gonna have to break down.
Exactly.
You're gonna break down.
You're gonna get them the phone.
First of all, because parents are way more scared nowadays
than they used to be,
because there's more threats, I feel like.
You know?
Probably.
Like what I'm saying is like,
you're not gonna send your kid off to somebody else's house
to spend the night if they don't have a way to contact you.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
But you don't gotta get them a smartphone, dude.
Like you can just get them one of those basic ass
flip phones. Text, call, and that's it.
And you can get them that pretty young,
because I mean, that's all it does
is literally text and call.
There's people out there, their entire,
their children's entire lives is just them playing
on a tablet, like an Xbox or something.
Which is like, yeah, let them have those things,
but in moderation, dude.
Yeah, I'm glad I ain't got kids,
because that little motherfucker
will be on that tablet all day.
Get away from me.
Go pick up your tablet, I make something to eat,
now leave me alone.
See, and then you're gonna take it away
and he's gonna start beating your legs.
Oh man, he's gonna start, yeah.
He's gonna start beating your legs.
You won't even feel it because you're a diabetic.
I was a mob boss with that shit, man.
You hear me?
I was a mob boss.
With what?
With fucking phones and everything,
because like, you know, back then they were like,
you can't have a phone.
I know how to get phones.
I would have phones hidden all over the house in spots.
I'd be like, okay, this phone is for that.
You're selling drugs, dude?
This phone is for this.
No, it was for what I wanted to get on the phone
and look at what I wanted to look at.
You know what I mean.
I discovered something.
Porn.
Yes.
Pornography, you know what I mean.
Yes, I was getting my leaves.
Okay, so we discovered it around 2014, 2015.
It's probably around 2016, 2015,
right now, yeah?
16, 17.
Back in the day.
Catamole.
All right, that's the end of the first part.
We got Charlikens on.
Charlie Mann.
Charlie.
Swisher.
Charlie's on the picture.
Swisher, yeah, good one.
Look at that, Charlie Swisher.
Hey.
Oh.
Yay.
This week's featured comedian.
Anyways, a little more about me.
I just moved to Huntsville,
a little closer to my grandpa.
I can help him out some.
He's white, so just my grandpa.
No song and dance there.
Not enough rhythm.
But now, you know, he's getting older,
he needs help with things, right?
You know, it's the little stuff that counts, right?
So I drive places for him,
get some mail for him,
I take some pills for him.
Yeah.
And I haven't gotten high yet,
but God damn it's my blood, then.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
You like to say something to people?
Hoo-doo.
I'm innocent, dude.
He's not.
That's exactly what a guilty person would say, dude.
A lot of them have said that.
Like I said before, I think it's specifically asked
for him to not be here.
Yeah.
Hey, JJ.
Yes.
Who we got here today, man?
Dude, somebody's been here before, bro.
Returning guest.
Our first returning guest?
Well, I was hardly a guest that time, but.
There was one returning guest,
but the first episode got taken down for a reason.
We will not disclose.
But our first returning guest that will stay returning, dude.
He is risen, dude.
Give it up for Charlie Fisher, everybody.
Hey!
Charlie Swisher.
Swish. Swish.
He looks like every European depiction of Jesus.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
How you been, man?
Been pretty good.
What episode number is this?
22?
22. 22.
Well, more like episode number, it's about God damn time.
But waiting to get on this shit.
He's been sitting on that one, dude.
I've been around you every fucking week,
trying to be humble, not asked to be on the pond.
Took 22 goddamn episodes.
Charlie, that's why we had you on first.
We should, you know what?
You wanna know what?
Not good enough.
No, this is all my fault.
No, I don't give a shit.
I forget.
I'm just fucking around.
I don't even know who's gonna be after Ogre.
Oh, yeah.
What's up?
Somebody's gonna hear this and get heartbroken.
I think we have somebody.
We need to look at the schedule.
No, no, we do have somebody.
Scott Curtis, I think, but I, you know, he has to pick it up.
Our schedule, aka the napkin,
we have everybody's name written on it.
No, I don't actually give a fuck.
I just couldn't believe you had
autistic Amelia Earhart's offspring over here before me.
He held us at gunpoint, actually.
You're a music-tier, is that what they call it?
Musician.
That is absolutely not what they call it.
You're literally that chick on a,
oh, what the fuck's that podcast?
You know the girl that's really deadpan?
No, Bobby Altaf?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She had the female rapper on, and she was like,
so you're a musician, and she's like,
I ain't no magician.
Sexy Red?
I think that.
Was it Sexy Red?
I think it was.
I only saw the clip.
I think it was Sexy Red.
Ski Yee.
Don just spit up on himself, dude.
Ski Yee.
Big baby dome.
Well, we got some shit.
Will you play that first YouTube clip?
Yeah, that one right there.
All right, you ready?
Oh, yeah.
You wanna walk us through this, Charlie?
What the fuck is this?
All right, let's go.
Well, I literally don't know what this is.
That looks like my drum kit maybe up there.
That's not you?
Give it a second.
On drums, you mean?
Yeah.
Honestly, I have no fucking clue, dude.
Did Jack dig this up?
Yeah.
Oh my God.
From 16 years ago.
Dude, I think that I know what this is.
This is at a fucking camp.
This is like the first music camp I ever went to.
I don't even remember what it was called.
It was like.
What's that?
Oh, it's the volume of it, yeah.
Oh, right.
Okay.
Sorry, I have to keep those up here.
Even though I'm like eight.
All right, I'm holding it down.
I'm in the pocket.
Fuck yeah.
Dude, this is fucking crazy.
I feel like I have a pretty good idea of shit online
that I'm on.
I have no idea this is Insta.
That's our intel guy.
That digital guy.
God damn, man.
Hey, it's good.
There's one video in particular I'm waiting to see
if he fucking dug up.
And if he didn't get that, he's good for getting this,
but he should've gotten this one day.
I bet he did.
I'm gonna ask to see that.
All right.
I forgot my notes.
Because I got it on there so we could pull it up too.
So this is, so I don't know.
I guess this is not the camp that,
like I would do this music camp every year.
Because growing up I do like these open mic nights
every week.
It was called, I don't know how to address this thing,
but it was called Chicago Joe's Rock and Blues Camp
at the time that I was there.
And like every summer, so you know, you're in a band.
I mean, it's like, it's rock music camp.
Like these exist all over the place.
Oh, I know.
But it was a big part of me, like I don't know,
probably from like eight to like 14.
Like every week I'd do like open mics,
like playing drums and then go to these camps in the summer.
It was a ton of fun.
You'd play all sorts of shit.
I did bass some years.
But this is, I mean, literally this might be like
the first time I fucking played in front of people.
Hail the Lord.
That's what I had.
I literally had no idea this existed.
That's crazy.
I'm like Ruthie World Peaks.
I'm like Ruthie World POV.
What is this channel?
That's crazy.
You did private lessons for bass and drums.
I did, yeah.
For um.
What are you laughing about, JJ?
You read it so literally off the page.
You also said it like you got him on something.
He's like, you did private lessons.
First of all, I did not watch Dateline.
That's how people learn to play instruments, man.
He gave private lessons.
I did also give, I did also, he did say give.
Yeah, I gave him the information.
I guess another quick shout out,
the Frank Hamilton School in Atlanta.
It's like a folk music school.
My dad teaches for them, teaches there sometimes.
And yeah, so for a little bit I was doing bass lessons.
To be honest though, I don't know shit about folk bass
or country bass.
I would just kind of like, here's the other thing.
So like folk bass and country bass, it's literally
boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
It's two notes the whole fucking time.
So I'd finish that in two weeks and then just be like,
what do y'all wanna learn?
You know what I'm saying.
Anyways, that's not funny, but I did do that.
Yeah.
It paid like, I literally, I quit my job at Publix
and I was like, I'm gonna make all my money for music.
And they were like, we paid $50 every other week.
And I was like, I'm fucked, I can't do this.
And then I started working in the sewer.
No, no, no, but they're basically a nonprofit.
So like, I shouldn't have been expecting any money
from them, but yeah, anyways.
So you've been working, so that was recently then.
That was like, it was maybe a year before I moved here.
So two years ago, yeah, probably like two years ago.
And I only did it for like, they were little
eight week programs, I think I only did two of them.
So I only worked there like 16 weeks.
Oh, okay, okay.
I just thought I'd break down the math for you there, Dom.
You needed it.
I stopped listening once numbers get to me.
I would just like to point out,
Jack said that you were on this podcast before,
obviously, we already mentioned that.
But I like that he said, featuring Mr. Got Jokes.
I'm glad that this is catching on.
Sci-Fi Got Jokes is catching on.
I told people at work, like they need to look up
Sci-Fi Got Jokes.
If you don't want people to call you Sci-Fi Got Jokes,
maybe don't make it your name on Instagram.
That is a good black comic trope is the nickname.
My other favorite is the first line being,
how are you white people?
Or like, how's it going white people?
Hey white people.
I don't know where the secret, Brandon,
maybe you can fill me in as well as half of Dom.
But maybe you could fill me in on like,
if there's like a secret black comic community
where they share like opening one liners.
That's how I started, God, I've only heard
three different ones.
The only black room we got is Mike Sales.
Yeah dude, the dish, that was fun doing that.
I'm gonna chill a little bit next time.
I don't need to start freestyling and saying
Peckerwood at the next Black Open Mike.
I got a little loose.
He killed that shit.
I did get a little out of control.
Brandon, can you look up a video on YouTube for me, man?
Yeah, I got you.
Where's it go?
Russell Westbrook, you know what,
the announcer video.
Oh my God.
This was the craziest.
This is wild.
Look up Russell Westbrook.
Is he Trouble Weitzler?
Why can't he even say it, dude?
Oh no.
He can't say it, I can't.
Crazy announcer, yeah, let Dom tell you.
No, no, yeah, announcer.
Crazy, I'm gonna put crazy.
Yeah, it should pop up, dude.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh yes, it's this, it's that.
Oh my God.
Turn the volume on.
Restart it, press pause, and then turn the volume on.
All right, here it is.
Russell looking for Ferguson in the corner for three.
Westbrook is out of his cockpicking mind.
Oh, fuck that shit.
What the hell?
Man, what the fuck?
Holy shit, dude, that's wild.
That's the wildest one, dude.
That actually is the craziest one of those I've heard.
A lot of times, somebody just happens to slip up the
some shit like that, but oh my God, that's crazy.
He's out of his cockpicking mind.
Oh yeah, that's new.
I never heard that one.
You never heard that?
No, I have, but not on a stadium like that.
That shit.
I think it was the playoffs.
Oh my gosh.
It might have just been better if he said the N-word.
That's almost worse, dude, I don't know.
Cockpicking mind.
If he wins this, he gets his freedom.
Oh my God.
Like his life depends on it.
I'm mad that he got fired.
He kind of looks like he got some black in him, right?
I don't know.
No, man.
He looks more like cotton than black.
If you consider ownership as part of his identity, maybe.
He looks like he comes from a long line of people saying that.
Of course.
A black dude would never wear a puck in his cockpicking mind.
A black dude would never wear a polka dot tie.
I don't know, man.
Unless it was a zoot suit.
Throw it back to a previous episode.
I can't even remember which one it is either.
I don't know.
I know we talked about it.
Actually, yeah, Jack found that one bit.
All of those camps I would go to, except that one, I would literally wear a purple or white
suit every time.
My grandma would buy me like fucking fedoras to wear with it, too.
All right, whatever.
I don't know.
I'm trying to give y'all some shit right now.
Go to that thing that says Charlie Fisher with the clout right there.
And then, yeah, go to that second video.
I don't know what that is.
Ready?
Yeah.
I don't want to be.
Yeah.
That was another Ruthie Worldwide.
Yeah, I had no clue this shit existed.
Is that you in the drone?
Oh, shit.
Yeah, this is you two Sunday, buddy.
Look at that.
Hey.
And you're on the drums, man?
Yeah, I am on the drums.
This asshole with the guitar is blocking your face.
Yeah, dude.
I'll say, I can't remember.
I know that's Maddie Moneypenny playing keyboards.
He's a good singer.
I can't remember.
Aaron's that guy playing guitar.
All right.
Never mind.
It's actually shit.
My bad.
No.
How the fuck did he find?
I'm just so curious because I've never seen anything like that.
Jackson.
He's sweating over there.
He's like, what the fuck is up there?
Digital footprint is real, Charlie.
Hey, there did used to be.
I did have an N-word video on YouTube for a while.
I had to get it.
It was a parody rap video for a friend.
He wrote it.
I was like, I'll say it.
And I'm just hoping.
He said he took that shit down.
And now I'm like, uh-oh.
Hey, look at those other links on there, bruh.
Let's have a look.
I hope that didn't fucking filter through the cracks.
All right.
Let's see.
To be fair, I was like 15.
It was a different time.
No, that's not it.
Oh, it's the same one.
But look, my favorite thing that he put.
I kind of sounded like shit there, but anyways, I was nine.
I like the, he put on there, go to the Facebook.
Hold on.
What does it say?
He's got the Juicy J verse.
I can't, it won't pull up, but the Juicy J verse.
But I love how it has one like.
How'd they have two cars?
How'd they have two comments in one line?
Yeah.
Shout out to this random guy.
Anthony Burden was the funniest fucking kid at middle school.
And then he went to a different school.
And I feel like, I feel like that dude made me funnier just being around a random guy.
Not even haven't talked to him since, but anyways, he's the one guy that liked my video.
So he's pretty.
Shout out AB.
Yeah, dude.
Respect.
Yeah.
See, if you click on, I don't know why it must be taken down.
All right.
I'm doing this, I can give you the one video I was worried about Jack finding.
Oh hell yeah.
I don't think it's.
See, I don't think you found out.
I mean, you already just dropped you.
Yeah, no, no.
That one.
That one I'm pretty confident is gone.
It was, it was a, it was a music video.
It was a music video called Dick Battle.
It was like, it was like a rap battle, but two dudes rapping about whose dick is bigger.
It was all my, my friend wrote the whole thing.
Shout out Ruben.
And I don't know.
It was honestly, I mean, it was really funny, but it, it needed to come down because I,
we just like filmed a music video at a beach and did these like funny verses.
And yeah, anyways, I said it, whatever.
I mean, anybody who doesn't think any white guy has said it or white person.
Yeah.
You're just lying to yourself.
Thank you, Don.
Thanks for sticking up for me there.
I will.
And you're rapping somebody else's lyrics.
Uncle Dom's.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You got me fucked up.
Ain't no Tom.
I ain't no Tom ass nigga.
Uncle Dom dude.
Uncle Dom.
Your Uncle Dom.
Uncle Dom's apartment.
Uncle Dom's two bedrooms.
Yeah.
Two very spacious bedrooms.
Yeah.
Yeah, we're in one of them.
Two baths too, and don't you forget it.
That ain't no half bath in there.
Hell no.
There's a full shower.
We got the toilet and a shower.
Hell yeah.
Curtain up and everything.
Yeah.
And then you're like, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
Yeah.
And then you're like, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
And then you're like, I'm gonna, and you get three shape in the bathroom.
And then you're like, I'm gonna get three othernąs.
And then you're like, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
And then you're like, I don't know.
Sugar yeah, I just figure that's why it's not I'm also probably should be avoiding that
And he uses that exact
Yeah, thanks for putting it on him and not me
All right
To get mine from the tab
All right go to YouTube
You just use the tab that's already up Brandon by the way
Okay, search AR Coventry
Oh, yeah, oh yeah, right congrats Brandon. Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah, which one do you want I think y'all can see which one it is
Yeah, I'm like dude do you see the nose man it just sprouted
I don't know my friends always get a kick out of it
This is for a math project
Oh, yeah, yeah
My balls had dropped it. I don't really want me to say
I
Don't worry, but you can use this dump as a math classes I did get an A
You fabulous oh, yeah
So just to it's over but it that's MC circle right there and in a minute we're about to have dr. Spear
I was just so confident that Jack would have found this I was already prepared myself
So why bother
To the three yeah, that's right juggling with one hand you see that
Use three balls
Dude
You see it has 175 years there were 200 people in my class that's a single like only 25 people didn't watch it
It's good engagement
Yeah, so that's the beginning so I just to give you asked me to do a song for you guys
I just want you to have like a bass level what it might be. Oh, that was amazing
You think we'll be ready to go live show we can announce it right now. Oh, yeah by the live show
Yeah, I'm excited for this. Go ahead. Yeah to let the people know on the live show on May 10th. We're getting a new intro song
shot
Son rat. Mm-hmm by Charlie Swisher. Oh, yeah
Yeah, you want your way Swisher MC circles coming back
Do you want to do it? I mean we're gonna have a pre-record anyway, but do you want to do it live or pre-record?
Well, we'll see I don't know about that. Let's put them on this by yeah, no, I
Let you hear I saw it even sent you a recorded version
So we'll judge cuz you might you know, I'll have some different options and then and then we'll go from there
Yeah, I'll do a live for the live show. I would do it. Hell. Yeah
Excited for that live show in general come out people. Hell. Yeah, May 10th is gonna be a banger
I'm gonna have all kind of shit. We're fine tuning it right now
The JJ just sits over there and looks like that when I talk about it. Yeah
If you want a cream pie dumb
It's fun
You know what I mean the pie I would like to specify I'm just a guest on
To be here throwing a diddy party dude
You probably would have they would have loved you at the diddy parties
Like you got the invitation
I know pity sitting there and after after all that he did not get a pub sandwich
Conspiracy theory that they think that that what was that the Baltimore Bridge that fell was a distraction for P. Diddy
Oh my god, people think people are fucking stupid. Yeah, they are
They're like, I mean you got to be the dumbest son of a bitch in the world. Brandon was like they are yeah
Yeah, you're right dude
Yeah, that's stupid. Yeah, no
Distraction what?
Yeah, that's some crazy shit
Did you believe it for a little bit? No, man, I was like that's too much. That's gonna put him in deeper shit
Why would he put himself in deeper shit?
Dude, my one thing with the conspiracy theory is like I'm not saying the government's never been up to no good
But 90% of the shit they'll just do right in front of your face
They don't need to hide it, you know, it's built into the fucking system. They don't give a shit. Mm-hmm
What are you gonna do man? All these senators are for Trump?
24 I got a hat
Set the picture right here
Yeah, my boy sent it to me I had to hide it cuz like oh like my cousins were coming over I was like
I can't have him see this out here. Yeah. Yeah, I don't even
Damn I started the sentence already fuck I
I got nothing on it. I just you know, I think I think everybody just wanted a new election
Not the same one over again, but fuck. Yeah, these old motherfucking man. No, they're just remaking everything now. Yeah
It's gonna be straight to streaming as well
Yeah, it's fucking a Ghostbusters the election because the bit be dead by the time we vote
Cuz ghost you get it how old is how old is fucking by let's see 80 82 81
That's too. That's way too old to be and drop is 77. Yeah, I'm sorry to you. Yeah for real. Let's be honest
Okay, so this dude is 81 years old 81. Come on, man
Come on, you're damn near 78. Yeah, he's like, yeah, he's only a couple years younger. Yes
These people shouldn't be in charge of anything now, I guess we're on the topic one-on-one in the ring
Who do you think has it? Oh, it's a Trump. Yeah, we all know it's
It's a big that's just three. That's the thing. It would wait
It was look it would look awful like they would just be like rolling around you ever seen like old people fight
Those clips of old people fighting and one of them just turns and then like nothing really happens. All right now
I've never seen any videos of your family
Would love to
Old people fight there's got to just be so many injuries man. Yeah, and you just got to accept you're gonna shit your pants
Dear net, I mean the muscle control is already so loose elderly store
I don't like you need two elderly people fight. Yeah, let's do two. Yeah, I don't want to see
Let me see they got out oh god damn
They don't have it on there
After seven credit look
The algorithms gonna send like fucking up a young guy cuz cuz all the boomers are like see we still got it
Okay, hopefully this shows up
Oh, it says bar. Yeah, it's not even America. We need American
Those people are actually like 43 years
To old people fighting yeah
Holding hands painting
That's not a bad saying I love oh that was for your video whatever you're talking about your grandma what two elderly people hold my
We could just watch that scene from the Irishman I guess
He's got a Confederate shirt on on the fucking the car
Oh
Dude they spend their weekends at Walmart, I guarantee it. That was a Florida license plate. You already knew that
That dude fell for like
Yo, respect fuck him up, dude
I'm all with the checker
Yeah, that was like gravity in space like you hit somebody but you go back
It's like watching Godzilla and King Kong
slow motion
Dramatic, that's another one. God's the King Kong. Who's Trump Biden Godzilla King Kong?
Oh, I feel like well which one's a well King Kong by the pussy dude. Yeah
Biden's a lizard. Yeah, right. Yeah. All right. Good call. Good call. Yeah, damn dude. What country is this thing that everybody's fucking built like me?
Well, that's one guy's yeah, you're right. It's Armenia. I am
Dude that's how it will look that was these guys should not be fighting around a curb
What about drunk old man fighting down there in the corner do
See I'm gonna pause this you said drunk down down like by the shit save. Yeah. Yeah, see this dude. Oh fuck
Yeah, I'm enjoying this is a Prater versus kid rock
I just wanted a whole lumber, but no I can't all over cuz I'm fucking you can't hold on because I got is a fucking ATV
You take 10 to buy for us at a time he's gonna go through the gate and get cut in half
Wait skip forward some see if they start throwing hands dude, or is this just a you know, he did the mini scroll
You had the whole second half is just an argument about his baby is it really
I got the same baby mama
Do you know you like business right? I like business. Did you start a business in the Middle East?
Dom you better cut to the chase here cuz I don't know what the fuck
Outfitters. Oh
So he went through my Twitter I guess
Yeah, those were before I ever did stay like I gotta just test the waters a little bit. Yeah, I opened a business and
Saudi Arabia called turban outfitters
Let me think what else is on there? Oh
God there's some bad jokes on there. There's and I just started posting again
On a on X, excuse me
But uh you need to follow me do I don't know how much yeah, I do need to follow you
Who am I kidding? I want to see it. I want to
Say it this shit up the shit. I'm gonna see the right play video before but there's some on there
I don't say it's exclusively exclusively that but
we majority
Yeah, if I stumble across one
Siphon and I want to tag you now
Do the race play videos on Twitter, dude. What do you mean? That's where I found it? Oh, that's the origin of Ray
Yeah, yeah, dude. Yeah. Well, I'm also into that. I just like when they say it with a W at the beginning
Hey, Charlie said he said the n-word on camera. He has long hair
Look at that clip. Hey, hey try to find that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah pull up dick battles
Yeah, yeah that was like I mean I feel like we
Probably all I don't know or like I feel like everybody did the same little journey
Maybe not Brandon though, but it's like of uh, oh you trying to like post some jokes first
Oh, yeah. Yeah, I remember back then I used to try to do everything I would do everything but get on the stage
I would yeah, like I have a whole book from 2018 that I just one day just put to the side and never even looked at
Again. Hell, yeah, it's it's confusing. It's kind of worth going back sometimes
But also it's like you probably outgrew all that shit already
but every once in a while I try to find a joke for Megan those old one cuz like he's saying that did y'all have like
You know jokes written for a while before you ever went up fuck no, really not a one not a one really
What I did? Yeah. Yeah, I was a lot of shitty Instagram and social media content before I started doing. Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah
Yeah, you had that I guess that I guess you get it out that way somehow
Yeah, what's kind of like I do actually remember Carson Sanders on the podcast that it's like the your first five
It's like, okay. I get to draw from everything
I've thought of for the last like couple years or at least that's how it was for me too. But then
But now now we're here and I'm like, where's the new material that I got nothing do
I
Dude, it's yeah, I finally got you've been on it a little bit cooking. Oh, you got some cook
Oh, I finally I feel like I came out the other side
I mean, that's the ebb and flow of it for sure
But I think I'm coming out the other side with some stuff or at least it's I don't know if it's good or it's just
Less terrible than all the cuz like you try those new ideas. There's nothing worse than when you don't even believe in it
Yeah, you're like, I know this is I don't I shouldn't even say I should practice it right here
Yeah, but I'm gonna do it. I have nothing. Yeah. Yeah
It's I mean it must be part of it like it's good
We're doing it but god damn it do that it are it hurts before you even go up
I'm telling you though that I want to give away a joke
But the cleats thing made me laugh so far you think the cleats is good. I wasn't sure
The lawn and cleats
Alright so like I guess this ruins the jib. I have not seen my dad
No, the lawn and cleats but one time they cut a stump up in the yard
Like they got rid of like a stump and this man
Got the extension cord out connected it to a vacuum and went out and vacuumed the yard to get the sawdust up
Literally to the point that the neighbor
Went up to like my stepmom was like, hey, yeah, I saw Eric out the other day and he
Hit the vacuum and the lawn
That's a wild thing it's insane he just like he was like, I don't know how to get the sawdust out of here
I'll say yeah, me and my dad are pretty fucking similar because I could probably see me doing the same thing
But yeah
No, okay. I'm good. I'll try the cleats bit more than it's good to hear. I have fuck I might do it tonight
I don't know what the fuck I'm doing a new joke tonight. I'm like opening with the edge nanny. I'm sorry Kim in advance
But yeah, I have faith in it dude, I faith in it you haven't on it at all yet
No, I've said it like maybe two or three times. Okay, honestly, I'm starting to think squeezing a new one
It even like when it's a show
Squeezing just especially if it's like a small joke squeeze them one new one in I think is maybe a really good idea like cuz it
It brings that energy of like I don't it's new to you
Yeah
so I so the rest of your set you can rely on but that one joke you're like, alright
This is still exciting for me because I haven't said it a hundred times and like the crowd is gonna feel like oh something
New is happening. Yeah, they'll fill it in you. They can see it in you. Yeah. Yeah, they really can do
Yeah, it's that's been the wildest part of stand-up is like this whole like
relationship with the audience because we were talking about like I've done music my whole life and I mean I
love music and stuff
but like I don't really I haven't really performed since like literally back then when I was still like a
teenager at the oldest but uh
like I
There's a similarity to it for sure which everybody's heard because they talk about like, you know rhythm and your jokes and stuff
like that, but uh, but the way it's almost like it's almost like the audience is your instrument like you're like playing off of them and
When I thought of that on the way over I was like goddamn that's so fucking deep
I gotta say that but it's that wasn't shit
Alright so like to
Jalen Brown episode one. Shout out shout out. I miss you Jalen. Well, I guess he's about to go to Alaska but um
Like he's somebody who plays the fucking crowd. Oh god, like big time and like I am I am
Envious of that envy is just meaning like I need to sharpen that myself. But like yeah
He's so like far into it like yeah, that's when people say like this person doesn't give a fuck. No Jalen
It for real did for real for real
I love it about it. I don't care what the crowd is what they look like
He'll say the joke that he thinks that's almost an enormous. Yeah, no, it's like it feels like purely instinctual
Or something like it's like he's he's only it's it's almost as if he doesn't second-guess himself
Which I'm sure he does but like he knows to lean into it. I guess I don't know but like I definitely don't have that yet
Yeah, I was in the audience when Jalen was performing one time and he brought up like a Popeye's chicken box up there
Okay. Yeah, I didn't see that and he handed it out into the audience and like
Opened it and it's just a jar of Vaseline
And he's like everybody takes him
Vaseline in a Popeye's box. Yeah, it's not not in the no. It's just a slab
Yeah
Inside the box and I took like a decent amount because I thought it was gonna be an activity of some sort
And then he never addressed it again in the set and so I'm just sitting there and it's like melting in my hand
I'm like something dude
You knew I was asking
But Charlie you're you're you're just started jerking off I don't know sorry Jalen
I don't know. Sorry JJ. He's about to compliment me. Yeah
You're like I know like you get compared to mark norman because that's who you are
You're always on and when you kill when Charlie kills he murders the only two time
To get the showcase back to back from stand up. Yeah, I did hit the showcase back to back
That was a interesting. Oh and uh, don was just on it's a fucking shout. I had y'all I swear
The first one
Out there we all told me to be quiet I swear on my life I put that shit on silence on I have the shit
Flip to silent. It's just that it's a fucking iphone 4 so nothing fucking
And it was kindle too, I know y'all gotta go play laser tag
I got a busy schedule man. Thank you for your service
Um
No, dude, I love I love your style of comedy and and you you were like you're like that with Jalen too
Like you're gonna do your material and you're gonna go hard
I feel like if it's not going good for you, you go harder on that. Don't you do that? I
honestly, I think all it is is that uh, my shit is so
Uh, I don't want to say formulaic but like it's pretty fucking by the beat
You know what i'm saying? Like my shit is very like setup punch
And so even when it's going bad, I don't have a fucking option except to keep saying the jokes exactly as they are like
Uh, we just did something fun at cannon bar the mic that uh, uh, sierra moses host
Shout out. Yeah, shout out sierra moses. She had a fun little idea where we like, uh, wrote three minute sets for each other
You don't know whose you were gonna get. Um, and uh,
It was I felt like it worked for like alex and mine which first off
It was just fun seeing somebody else do your material like how would they interpret it?
Uh, but my shit I can write out so word for word that it like it comes out almost the same which
Almost feels like a diss to my material but like uh, you know
I I don't have any choice except to like keep doing what I do, you know
And uh, because like you write jokes for people you have
Have I five dollars on fiverr?
2016 oh, I'm sorry
2016 oh, I mean I made a post nobody paid
Why jack say you got you made three at three hundred and eighty dollars
Wait, what the fuck dude were people buying shit because I didn't write a single
Tom
What does it say? He misread that shit
It says offered to write jokes for five dollars on fiverr in 2016 made
308,803 dollars from it. That's obviously a joke dumb
You think he made 300?
Already that's 300
I thought it was a decimal
Honestly, that's fair. That's fair in europe. They use the dot
People are not supposed to know what goes on these papers we do it every episode. Yeah
Actually, this is what we based the episode on. Let me see that shit. Give me that shit
I want to see what else is on here. Uh, yeah from decatur georgia got that
Graduated from decatur high georgia less than a 3.0 gpa. How do you know that?
Yeah, dude could not get that hope scholarship but uh, let's see
Yeah hopeless scholarship
Uh went to bermuda. Yeah, bermuda is big. Shout out my friends tyler and sarah smith
Uh been to bermuda twice. It's a really cool place
Dude we were cragging about work the other day doing uh, instead of instead of like all those islands places
Just being like omaha nebraska gary indiana
This is all the worst places the gaza strip come on syria
That's fucking darfor uh, uh fucking chlamydia ridden horse
It's been bars no
Hey that that intro song he rapped. Uh, he did the forest outside of uh, what was that straight to l?
Uh, yeah outside of stroke. Yeah, that shit was fine. Yeah. Okay. I hope it's I put it behind a uh,
Uh a specific beat I had though like i'd already had for something else
but uh, I feel like it sells like the clown college kind of comedy, but it feels like like a
m&m type uh gorillas type like beat okay, I don't know. I don't know. I'm talking up about it. I'll send it to you
You don't fuck with him. It was the greatest rap of all time, right? Oh, no, no
This is what I want to ask you top three. Okay, top three rappers of all time. Uh
Uh, so definitely kendrick makes the list. Okay, kendrick lamar because uh, I take into account a lot of shit
So like m&m we're talking technicality and like skill and I think a lot of people would agree that
uh
Rat whatever album rap god was on
I think it's the one that shares an album cover with license to ill by beastie boy like it's as a plane crashing as the album cover
um
uh
That one he hits it's just way more skilled than good music. Yeah, like I don't like that
Yeah, I kind of stopped fucking with him at marshall matters lb2 or that shit was called
That was was that no no two two was the uh less fun
The original one's like the fucking really good one. Also quick. I mean if anybody's into this, uh, 1993 infinite
Uh is an album by m&m. It's very like old school, uh boom bad
Like it doesn't even sound like m&m and it's a it's an underrated album because like he's famous for what he does
but this is kind of when he was just like coming up and it's uh,
Uh, if you like like early 90s
Like boom bap was that the one he got he was saying he said nigga on there
No, no, that wasn't that one. I don't I don't even does that even exist. Yeah, he has a song on that was charlie
Well, never mind I don't support him anymore i've never done such a thing even though I spent the first 10 minutes telling you about
Uh, so but also like hendrik lamar. He like pushes himself artistically and like does different shit
Uh, it doesn't feel it feels like growth of an artist in like a circle instead of one direction
Where it's like no if it's m&m obviously like m&m's the shit but like it's very like who can uh,
Be the most clever and the most fast at like all times like you know, or that's simplifying it a bit
But okay, so kendrick, um
God, I feel like I should have an old school person in oh, well, oh, I mean andre andre 3000
Okay, I mean that's a good one. I mean i'm wearing an outcast hat right now. Yeah atlanta
I want to put them together in there like big boy, too
But we're just doing single I mean andre 3000 again group you could do a group
We'll say outcast then because um
Like andre is another great example of like pushing himself artistically. I think that's like really important and uh, like yeah
I know he's on like all the flute shit and stuff now
I thought I thought he was gonna hide a verse at the end of that album
I really thought it was a straight flute. It was just it was all meditation music straight flute
It was like I mean like for a while. It's got a time and place but not
What you know, he got all right
I'll say he got more hype than any other ambient album of ever has gotten. Yeah. Oh for sure
Uh, first of all sounds of the supermarket too from 1975
Sounds of the supermarket too it came out in 1975 one of the greatest albums ever recorded
I'm so dead ass. There's no way you've heard this
Is this is gonna get brandon ptsd into the shit set publics. That's it bro. That's it. Yes brandon
Yeah, are they filming through the store the whole time? They're filming through this. Yeah, you did. This is it
Yeah, I think i've seen it dude. I think
Oh, yeah, dude
But even this even this is too upbeat
Eat
Well, you got so many apples bro potatoes potatoes tomatoes tomatoes
Wait for the beat drop no, dude, we are not gonna desecrate this fucking song right now, dude. This is an instrumental
It's actually not bad I told you bro some fucking boss scags right there
Don't laugh. You don't get that reference
I boss scags, of course. It's probably one of those things you showed us sierra's house one of those
Fucking videos less trippy less trippy more hot rock
All right, actually this does seem since the music sounds like it can I take an intermission to pee real quick?
We're gonna play this while you go pee
Subliminal recordings that were intended to increase buyer purchasing at grocery show. This is a psyop bro
This is a sigh. I was reading the description bro. Yeah, look at that inaudible subliminal recordings
That were intended to increase buyer purchasing at grocery stores, dude. I've been psyoped. I can't believe I just spread that to y'all
Yeah, I read an article
What the fuck dude? I read an article while it's like eight years ago that in uh, japan and the supermarkets
Uh or like uh more like department stores like uh, like a I guess like wal-mart
I'm sure they don't have that trashy shit there. But uh, but like in uh, like in the camping section
They'll play like bird noises and shit and then in like the uh, like it's a lot of like nature sounds because it's just like
I guess they think it'll just revert to like early homo sapien and when you're hearing like birds in the vegetable section
It'll start picking them. I don't know like that like that basketball player from earlier
They got great wal-mart dude, yeah
Oh, I do. I uh, I miss the we honestly have a switch now
But sometimes I just want to play we sports dude, just fuck them up in boxing. Oh man. I miss that
Speaking of basketball when you play this clip up there. It's uh, well, we gotta get charlie's
Oh, no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
You did outcast and uh kindred. Oh, yeah number three. Oh, yeah. I was thinking that all right
Oh man, it's really tough. Like a ranking is always hard, but I was saying I need one old school person
and I would
Like them to be someone from the south but I gotta say who you listening to though who you who if you if you own
Are you playing outcast you playing kindric and who will i'm gonna say i'm gonna say biggie dude
Yeah, I never like really decide on like the pock verse biggie thing
But like it just as far as like quintessential rap
Like he hits that more than anybody else and like it's important to have a new york person in there
that's where it's from and shit, but like uh
honestly
Like purely the fucking first verse on notorious thugs biggie smalls with bone thugs and harmony
Dude that's one of the greatest that's one of the greatest. Yeah cut the yeah. All right
Hey, that's that's I think the greatest verse of all time. It's quite possibly the greatest verse of all time
it's also quoted frequently as fuck like by other because that's a big thing in rap like obviously with samples passing those down but also like
Lyrics like so many artists have done versions of notorious thugs
Like I know as far as popular nicki monog is the only one I can think of but but plenty of like smaller time rappers
Have done that for sure. Oh trademark the skydiver oxygen. I doubt anybody knows that but jet life currency
currency, yeah
I used to be huge on currency high school. It was just currency and juicy jay for me
Hey juicy, that's my
For real. Yeah
I literally got like suspended from school for a juicy jay song
Which one? Uh juicy jay can't not the uh, not the you to say no to ratchet pussy
But he already had a song on uh blue dreams and lean you say no to drugs juicy jay can't
Yeah, yeah, I had to do like a music video analysis and I brought that song in and the teacher did not fuck with me
Nor did my mother
Damn dude, if I was to pick my top three and we get to put groups in there
Three six of my number one real triple say mafia. They kill when I say so is number one
Okay, yeah, put project pat in that bitch lord. Come on man
I was also underrated as far as influence like their influence and everything today comes from three
Like as far as all trap like that's just three six passed down
Yeah, and I like I hated uh, like when I was growing up
I hated that I still don't like uh conscious rap or whatever like common and shit
Like uh god get this motherfucker away from me even jay-z back like when I was growing up
He had it was like he had the big pimpin era like that. Yeah. Yeah, after that he went into all this
You know, it's cuz he grew up and then wrong way. Yeah, but at the time I couldn't stand it
It's like better now that i'm older. Yeah, but when I was younger it was like give me three six miles
You tell my selling drugs killing niggas. You know, I'm saying I need that
That's what i'm about
Yeah, no now
Now he's still very like wake up, you know, like that's like kind of his vibe now
It's like open up your mind of what's going on like look around at what's happening. Who?
Juicy, no, no, no jay-z. Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's like, you know, he might be involved in that. I know. Yeah
Let's see what happens with that. Yeah, we'll see but i'm pretty sure he's had people killed
Because I was we were talking about last night with alex, uh
De moscala I was like it's easier to like if somebody was like I ain't down with this
Whatever they're doing at the parties
Let's say a little bit of it's real and dude was like i'm not down with this i'm going to tell it's easier just to kill
them
It's wait if you have that much if you're okay
Like did he know motherfuckers that would kill somebody right? Exactly for nothing. Yeah, but you give them 20 000
They'll kill anybody you want if they're huge. Yeah. Yeah, probably. Yeah
Epstein
Somebody got this ass
Yeah
He got after some people's ass
A lot of ass a lot of ass
Brandon who's your top three rappers man top three rappers, you know, I gotta do this to me. I'm very loyal man
He's gonna be like duke ollington
Tyler the creator at one two kendrick lamar and three. I love mf doom
You like it
Mfd it's uh, he has good. Oh, no, it is he's really good. It's like uh
I mean you're getting his style every time though for sure
I like you said tyler though because again, I was talking about like pushing creative limits tyler definitely does that. Oh, yeah
Uh, so I fuck with tower the creator too and who's the third one? Uh, I said first it was tyler then
Kendrick, yeah
Okay, you like the new kendrick when uh on futures like that. I I think a little overhyped online, but it's good
I mean, I mean it's always a beat banging. Oh
No, no, the song goes hard. Yeah, I thought you just meant specifically about the uh, the like
Reston jay cole and drake or whatever. Oh, yeah. Yeah, uh, I feel like that was ever hype
But wait, did you just say control a second ago? No, my bad. I made that up
But remember that do you remember control he came up that it was a similar like kind of diss track to like all sorts of artists
Uh, oh, yeah
For some reason jay electronic is the only one I remember but but it was like a bunch and then like all these other rappers started
doing
Verses over that over. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like was that early pandemic or before? No. No, I was before that was like
2015 damn was that long honestly might have been 2014. I think I was still in high school. Yeah
Yeah, yeah time flies when you're 48
Early on said dementia is not that old guys. It's 43 max
Alcohol adds years
It does it does that's what my doctor tells me so well we were talking about basketball. Do you remember donald sterling? Um,
That whole thing he was the owner of the clippers clippers and he said the n-word, right?
Well, he did know he he was just like don't have the monkeys over here
He was my girlfriend, but he was yeah, but he was talking about like magic johnson
Jesus, you know what i'm saying? Like yeah, you can't call like magic out of all black people in the world
You can't call magic johnson. I mean, he's a fucking billionaire. Yeah. Yeah for real
Yeah, like one of the most successful people and he beat eight
I I also agree when they're rich enough. I
It just sounded like that's what you meant
Yeah, he's talking like he's like a street thug or something and it's fucking you when you hear the video you're thinking like he's talking about
And it's just magic johnson. Yeah, it's fucking just named irvin bro. Yeah
So go to the uh, it's a tiktok. Yeah, barbara walters. Yeah that one. Okay now what this is this is his what this is his girlfriend at the time
She's insane, dude. Yep
Can you tell me what your relationship with donald sterling is?
I'm mr. Sterling's right hand arm
man
I'm mr. Sterling everything i'm his confidant
his best friend
His silly rabbit
Yeah
This is me trying to like defend what I bring to my relationship with my girlfriend
She has a better job pays more money like and i'm just like yeah, i'm i'm just a goofy. I'm a goofy little gopher
Is that what she calls you no
No
We were at moody's it was it was your girl. It was like ashland's uh,
friend was boyfriend her boyfriend and it was like a couple other people that I didn't know and then they were like
Some dude his name is literally domenique same name as mine and he comes up. He's like you weren't in there
He was like, what do you what do you guys do and everybody went around and I swear to god it was like
I'm an engineer. I'm a scientist. Yeah, and then they came to me and he looked at I was like i'm in school. He's like, huh?
That's like dude, I go to school man
That's hilarious. First of all, i'm an american. I'm like where the fuck is charlie at he needs to be right here next to me
Yeah, there's nothing better than when sci-fi talked to kennel for the first time and and he was like, uh
he's like asking her about stuff and he's like
uh
Yeah, like you know, uh
Charlie does comedy like uh, you guys just moved to huntsville, right? Like uh, so you like you followed him here to huntsville for comedy and she's like
No, absolutely not. No, i'm a scientist
Just he followed me
Good choice. Yeah. Oh, yeah a good choice for sure. Yeah, no and huntsville's huntsville has been fucking great, man. I mean, uh,
shout out to you guys dude the clown college comedy podcast. I feel like that's such a like it's
Uh, really great. Well y'all like you showed up and are putting on the scene
like it's not just about you guys like you're literally like having us on and being on this and like
Uh, it takes a little guts to do that to fucking show up and like put everything on your back. So well, I get back but
Motherfucker can't stop
He's all the time
This motherfucker. Well, yeah, dude, I swear we got here and I was I was legit like, oh
There's funny people here. No, I know
Yeah, I had the same reaction and I was like because I every I swear to god every podcast like you're gonna be the if you're funny
You're gonna be the funniest one. I was like, i'm not even close
Yeah, not even close my just so and there's a lot of them. There's yeah
No, there's a ton of people here dude when I first showed up. I uh
Before I did an open mic
I was like I should go see at least like one thing around town to see what's up and uh,
And sci-fi and ashland nuts were on it and I was like, oh fuck dude
I gotta fucking step it up from what I was doing in athens
I was like god damn because I mean they're both obviously fucking hilarious and they're full of energy. Oh and both full of energy
Oh, yeah for real though. Yeah, especially ashland. Yeah
Uh, yeah. Yeah, she's great. Sci-fi is great. Uh, no this whole scene has been awesome. It's like, uh
I feel like it's very accepting drama or no drama, but uh, but a little bit
There's no drugs here though
Well, I didn't think I didn't think that was gonna no comics are like drugged out. I'm the biggest alcoholic
I'm like really alcoholic true biggest by mass. Yes
Yeah, but there's a few hold up that was good
Dude charlie, we need to get you to do that man. Yeah, that's a good one, but you have to have your laugh
I remember the first show I saw man. I got roasted the first day
Fucking comedian. Are you serious? And she was like he looked like he's gonna blow up this building. I was like, come on
Damn, you should they pick out a white kid for that
I was literally sitting in the bank like in the middle. Well, that makes sense
I was sitting in the middle by myself a little bit people in the front and she was like that dude little
I think blow this place up. I think he looked lonely
Yeah, he didn't smile. I was like, yeah, I got issues miss
I don't make facial
I love a joke that you don't do anymore. Well, which one the headlights? Oh, I love that. Oh, yeah
I did drop headlight. It just I love that. Yeah
I mean basically for anybody wondering it's just uh, shitting on how bright headlights are nowadays. It's ridiculous
Yeah, sometimes I feel like sometimes I do feel like some good material
Comes out by tapping into that old man and me
It's just annoyed that I can't fucking see I can't see forward because there's somebody behind me with fucking bright headlights
It was my fucking rear view dude
Uh, yeah, yeah, dude. What'd you say the surgery?
Uh, you you mean the uh, uh, what are they using to make them fucking uh, oh, I don't even nuclear nuclear fish
Yeah using nuclear fission to make them shit led is more like what does that stand for laser?
I detonating fucking devices. I don't remember but if you want lasik just stand on the yeah
Just stand on the high side of the highway at 2 a.m. Yeah. Yeah, I guess you like that. Nobody else ever
The only person old enough to understand that yeah his question getting lazy
Yeah, he spent too much time in his teens wearing cat eye contacts
If you don't know that's a recent fact I learned about is that he would put in uh, uh fake contacts with fucking cat eyes
Dude, you're the weird kid
I want to say this
So we had my boy bob shaw he shout out
So he would get he would get these contacts and he would have like any color you want
Right and then like we had like some guys wanted to have hazel eyes. Yeah
You put blue eyes to try to get some pussy. Yeah, so I was like I wrestled so I was like when I go to the wrestling
Me i'ma put cat eyes in and scare everybody. It's terrifying
But I could only get one in
so
So I have one regular and then one cat eye and then when I went end up going to college and then uh people
Like from around, you know went to the same college. Yeah. Yeah, they were like dude
I always thought you were badass because you had those like
Honestly, that would fucking terrify me if I was like and I had a tattoo do
You know in high school
The better way to intimidate your wrestling opponent is just to practice. Yeah, just get better at wrestling
And I wasn't like I was good like I went like 35 and four or something like my senior year damn, right?
So I was really like went to state uh won a match there then got my ass beat by somebody who was way smaller than me
I'm talking about rolled me up like a fucking pretzel really I do this thing
Like I would go like this to try to like get them get them off
Because my thing was that I grab them by the back of the neck do a duck under just take them down
I didn't get on the ground. I didn't go to the ground do none of that shit, right?
I try to do that. He just when I went like this
He shot on me flip me up and just picked me just like oh shit. Fuck me up. But uh,
But yeah, I didn't I didn't do any any of that shit on the ground
Yeah, I couldn't tell you I couldn't tell you I probably could tell you two moves
I slam you and I get back up. So you do snap get around repeat. Let them up. Yeah, exactly
Unless they're weak and I can just do a half nelson and pin them
You know what I mean? If I could do that, then I would just do that but I ain't doing fucking
I have a serious sense of any of that. I've never grappled or fucking anything on the ground like striking
Maybe and like boxing but now that other shit I I don't know anything about and it's crazy now because
Anybody can fucking fight now like literally. Oh, yeah, I just watched a video yesterday of an uh, uh some guy
Stole another dude's phone and this old lady grabs the guy and puts him in a headlock literally like it's in england
She's like 60 something I would guess and literally like immediately pins the dude in that fucking headlock and I was like damn
I just I got you would have got beat by 63. Oh, yeah, I better keep being fucking funny
Because anybody can fuck me up
We were at a shenanigans one time and he kept joking on those old people
Imagine if it was that lady and she just went out there and beat your ass
Dude I'll tell you that was the funniest fucking thing like there wasn't that many people at that
There was like nobody at that one nude show. Maybe 12 people. Yeah
Yeah, and there was like three elderly people in the front right charlie just kept calling back to them being like you're fucking old
like
Say something be like, oh, you probably forgot what I said earlier
Sometimes you got to do that
You guys remember when you were kids, I know they don't but yeah
It's it's like
Uh, there's something tough. I have noticed like when I do
Do like a tiny piece of crowd work at the beginning if I chose you as a person
I'm going back to you the rest of the set because it's like I can't think of something new
So i'm just gonna keep shitting on you over and over again
but yeah, and then that guy came up to me afterwards too and he was like, uh,
I forget I have a whole bit about making toys fuck
Great job as big as that is things. Yeah, I guess I gotta fucking do it tonight
But uh, i'm a little tired of that one, but I'll do it though
But um, yeah, he was like asking about it and he was like we didn't have action figures in my day
I was like, oh well, you would have made him fuck. Trust me
Do you do that whenever you just like make eye contact with a person in the crowd like the first person
I make eye contact with i'm gonna do it throughout the whole show, right? Yeah. No, so definitely
Yeah, if I made that eye contact, I've picked you out. I'm gonna keep doing you. I'm sorry
Maybe maybe if we did longer sets, I'd eventually switch but I don't think so
I think it's just my mind can't think of anything else quick enough. Uh, but also it's um
Honestly, if my set is going good
I'm probably not gonna do any of that unless somebody like shouts out or something
But like it's literally like if I didn't get enough of a laugh
I'm like I need to I guess I need to say something about the room or something. I don't know
Uh, I don't know. I want to delve a little more into crowd work, but that shit's scary as fuck, dude
I'm same way. Yeah
I want it like it'd be crazy to just go up with nothing and just go for it
And you you probably wouldn't do terrible like like think about it like this go up. Well, you might do
You might do a lot of fucking no in my head
I think you're gonna do it
But as long as like if you just went up and we're just talking about shit in the room
That would probably be better like whether you're funny or not
You're just literally being like observation about shit in the room that probably be better than a bad set
You know what i'm saying?
It's like the silence after a joke out landing is way worse than the silence of like what's what's this guy about?
Like what's he gonna do next? You know
Uh, but yeah, nothing's worse than bombing obviously
Oh, dude charlie is my favorite comedian to watch in general because he does well most of the time
But no, I appreciate it whether he does good or bad. I just have the same amount of fun
Watching charlie bomb is the funniest
He just walks like back and forth
The worse I bomb the faster I get
Like if I have a really bad one i'll just be running back and forth i'm gonna start calling him pong dude
Because it keeps beating up the longer it goes on that's hilarious
I get a half mile on a five minute set
I think that's a lot. What do you guys do? What are you guys doing today five minutes?
Uh, yeah five I think it's five minutes and then they're gonna do a couple improv scenes and then it's the family feud thing
Shout out to shenanigans. I love
Jessica yeah just hosting us to do comedy. Also, I think this shit's really fun like a piece of me
I mean obviously like i'm in love with comedy and like stand up like that's what I want to do
But I also love panel shows dude british panel shows. Oh my god, dude, like uh, uh, have you ever seen um,
Tim he oh god damn it. I can't remember. It's a it's the fat guy
British guy. Yeah, no, it's the show he's talking about. Yeah, i'm talking about it's like a game
It's almost like a game show. I know what's up my test master task master. Yeah task master
That's really good dude. James a caster is like a fantastic underrated comic but uh,
All those british panel shows they do one at the end of every year like this like quiz show about shit that happened in the year
I watch it every new year's. Yeah, that's that's a I know what you're talking about. That's hilarious
Jimmy carlson
Okay, then I do know what you're talking about. Yeah, dude also richard iota or however you say his name that dude is hilarious
He's hilarious very quick dude. Yeah, very you know who it is. He was on that one show the um, I I know the british
Show was like it or something. Yeah. Yeah, the one I said looked like jalen reminds me of jalen. Yeah
Yeah, like a nerdier jalen. Yeah. Yeah
What's it called?
uh, uh
I for quiz show great big great big british quiz of the year. Is that it? Yeah, it's like the big quiz of the year
I feel like you just let me search that big quiz of the year
Big quiz of the year. Oh, there we go. Damn damn right there
Oh, yeah, how you fucking laugh? Yeah
Quiz is dom's nickname. I try to have a rule. I have
I have a rule on state. I I don't know why I have a rule
I've never even run into this but I don't know if it's a rule or just something I thought one day but like
Every once in a while somebody has like a fucked up laugh
You know what I'm saying and like you want to call that out?
But I feel like I can't like I in my head
I'm like I'm not gonna make fun of somebody for their life because they're doing the thing
I want them to do. Yeah, but god damn it. Some people have just a fucked up
It's like when you see somebody running and you're like, have they ever done this before like
You know who has a crazy laugh that's always around here is Matthew Tate. Oh, yeah. Yeah
First of all, you want it to happen because he laughs at your joke, you know, it's like, yeah
You know, it's like a good joke like right and uh, yeah, exactly. It's uh, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, because his jokes are I mean that that dude does some of the wildest jokes
Yeah, I know that if we're talking about people who don't give a fuck that's another one
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, but Matthew uh when he laughs it's like I mean he was the first there the first time I did comedy
shenanigans and he was like
Yeah, that's hilarious they laughed the hardest that my kool-aid man bit out of anybody ever really
Oh, yeah
We'll see we'll see tonight
And check out shenanigans they always have they always let us do dude still laughs.com we can put on shows there
They always have shows for every comedian's improv. I always want to say improvisation
And like kim and jessica are like totally personable too. It's like it's not like they're unreachable like they come out do shit
Yeah, they were at the bowling thing last night. Yeah, they came out for sci-fi birthday at the bowling
No, we're like definitely really lucky to have to hatch an in again
Just so we remember go subscribe on youtube to studio jester. That is uh, kim and ogre's new youtube channel
Yeah, just search only because I just did it today. Well, I subscribed the other day, but I checked it again today just to make sure it was
Uh, yeah, just search studio jester and hit channels and it should be the first one at least on my phone. It was
Uh, but yeah, it's a good podcast. You're gonna see brandon on there, too
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you was on it. I was on it. Yep. Okay. Nice. Nice. Yeah. Yeah
So it's about movies. Uh, they just what maybe did you do scary movie? Okay. Nice. Nice
Oh, yeah, soon as soon as she soon as he brought it up. I was like I got you right now. Yeah, I'm gonna think about it
Scary movie we're doing that one. But yeah, it was fun, too
And uh, I told her I was like get people who like like movies
Yeah, who really like to watch movies and like are passionate about like especially even if it's just their movies
Yeah, see I want to be a movie guy, but i'm just not so don't have me on the pod kim
She's had me do multiple of those little uh, like one minute. What do you think about this?
And I feel like everyone i'm bad. I'm like i'm just like well it was it was called animal house. So let me think about the zoo
Yeah, mine was terrible. Yeah, i've done like
Multiple for everyone. I'm just like I didn't say anything worthwhile. Oh me too. I got the names wrong. I was like there were uh,
Was the sandlot or whatever is truffle shuffle? Oh, yeah. Oh, well, that's goony
So goonies and then I was like I was like the fat man shuffle
Yeah, I got every word wrong. Yeah. Yeah, I was like i think he's eating the snickers. I still don't know if that's right
Did he like sneakers or was it a different candy boy? I just know you guys hey you guys
I just seen a space. Oh really you would like you go to really you would really like that
It very much fits in it's like an 80s movie and I know you just like older shit
Is it all comedy movies that they do on the podcast? No, no, no, they've done because they did rocky with him. Yeah
No, it's like board of the flies
Is
Oh, yeah, well I wouldn't I don't know no it's good but it'll be good fucking the kill piggy spoiler alert
Yeah, well his bitch ass fell off. Yeah
No, they post that's natural selection
Lord of the flies it's a book a lot of people had to read in school. Yeah, I don't think I had to read it
We're gonna watch. Um, uh
What's it called, dude?
The famous movie harper lee or the famous book harper lee. She's from alabama, jr
To kill a mock to kill
Didn't they say they're trying to take that out of school? It was a banned book at one point. I think right
Yeah, this is i've been seeing jokes about uh banned books. They're like I can get it right here
Like it's in the front of the fucking bookstore. They mean it used to be banned
I guess i'm sticking up for fucking library suddenly as I'm like, yeah shit
I know I don't know but you need to have that shit. Yeah
You should uh, yeah
Yeah
If you want to read a fucked up book go read the original version of to kill a mockingbird. It's called go set a watchman
That's the original and they sort of redid it that was I think that was the original
Draft of the interesting and then they changed it afterwards to kill a mockingbird
It kind of looks like a director's cut alternate ending kind of I don't even like there's a lot sadder he went to jail
Oh, are you got that? Yeah, you could definitely it's completely it's different
Like it's the same character is the same kind of general storyline, but the way it plays out is different
I I I read it a long time ago. I don't really remember that much, but it was more fucked up
Yeah, was there ever was there ever a book you had to read in school that you really like that? I don't know
Touched you white. Yeah. Yeah, which one white thing?
Uh, is that like hatchet with the wolf with the wall? I don't say I don't know he befriended the wolf
Hmm. No, I remember hatchet. Some people I remember
That's what black people like the monster monster. Yeah, you guys didn't read. Oh, I forgot you were in school and they were still segregated
It's weird because he had to do a half day at each school
But he wrote the short bus to both of them
I can't tell
It's a separate piece by john knoll's that's my favorite book ever a separate piece. I don't know that either
Yeah, it was real weird dude alcapone does my shirt
Is that a that's a book? Yeah, okay. I assumed we were all reading the same books
Yeah, I guess not. I feel like the first what you were saying is what I I remember like, uh, but I don't remember
Yeah, you know a mockingbird of mice and men. Yeah, I read the cruise scarlet. Yeah warriors. We didn't have to do scarlet letter
Warriors, I don't remember the movie. I don't know. Oh the cats. Yeah, oh, yeah. I don't remember
That was just a book you read bread
Warriors your warrior cat with the cats there were cats that are you thinking warriors the movie? Yeah
He's talking about warriors it's a book about cats and if you ever want to get it with a horse girl
You should definitely read the book. That is fact. Yeah, that is factual information dude. I forgot we meditate a horse girl
This is how you got into the air. They also had another one. It was about bears. I don't remember what it was called
What about anamorph? Oh the golden compass or I always was a bear in the golden compass. Yeah
Yeah, yeah, you didn't have to read the scarlet letter, man. No, we didn't have to read that one
I think they were I went to an exchange. Here's a good Frankenstein good story
I don't know how we are on time
but uh
but I went to like a pretty fucking progressive school district and so like they probably want to like the scarlet letter because it's just
Like slut shaming or maybe they I guess the point in the end is not to do that or something
I never read it. So I don't fucking know
Anyways, anyways, so it's like a really, you know
progressive like a you know, blue island in a red state type shit and uh,
I mean they literally call decatur dick hater. It's like the like lesbian capital of the south
Um, and it's the next agnes scott college. But anyways, um
We have this project in middle school called the global water project and it was one day
It was like run by like the social studies classes
one day in order to I guess like empathize with um
With kids in africa who would have to like get up every day and go like walk and get their water
And then like walk back home and then like go to school and all that shit
So one day we had to go to school
I could be wrong. I think we had to like get there early and everything
So it's like before school and shit and uh, they filled up
Uh a gallon like they they asked for a bunch of milk jugs and we filled up every jug with like
Or my bad. You have an empty milk jug at the beginning one in each hand
So you have two milk jugs and we had to walk all the way to just like
Some person's fucking house in like a neighborhood nearby and we all get who knows what the fuck their water bill was
Because we all just fill a fill up these jugs from a hose
Like every every fucking student in the seventh grade like fills up two milk jugs
And then we have to walk them back to school
Oh, it sounds like a cool project because it's like oh, yeah, like this is what it's like, you know
You're gonna experience this thing. Well, then we get back to the school
And everybody's like what do we do with all this fucking water?
Like we don't know what to do this shit and they're like, all right start pouring it out
Defeated the entire purpose is a waste everybody's fucking time
Yeah
One volunteer parent got like a two thousand dollar water bill
All right charlie this day in the pocket, oh, yeah, we could do this forever with you man
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I know it's droning on dude. No, no
I'm saying in a good way. I can't believe it was already that time
But thank you for coming on. Oh, yeah, dude. I loved it. Yeah glad to be here again
Like I said, thanks y'all for like putting on the whole community the whole scene. So, thank you for being a piece
If you're ever out there and you see charlie fucking swisher on a goddamn
Dude, i'm telling you he's gonna fucking smash. I appreciate
He's gonna smash his come with come out. Yo, i'm talking about joke joke joke smart smart joke sometimes like I was saying
Jj, give me too much credit. No jj made fun of me because I was like sometimes it takes me a little while
To get charlie's jokes, but once you get them
I don't think that's gonna be a problem
But you know, I appreciate the sentiment his jokes are good. That's the point
All right, but you just tell this camera anything you got going on or in your social media
Yeah fucking uh instagram at charlie charlie swisher and you can go to charlie swisher.com
There ain't shit on there right now, but soon enough. It's just some old music stuff, but hell
Yeah, thanks. Y'all come out to the shows sport huntsville comedy. Oh, yeah