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This week on clown college

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And funny I saw I saw his dick you did that leaked online juicy it Brandon

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He's like yeah, I got it on my way that's really out there. Oh, yeah

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What the hell I said I just saw it on Twitter when I was like 13

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This is the clown college podcast

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We're just a couple open micers trying to make our way through the scene where we interview

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Comedians throughout different stages of their comedy career no matter if they're open micers

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Headliners or traveling comedians. I'm here to Jamie 2.0. I just talked a lot more. Damn it Brandon

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Go sit in the corner

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I'm gonna go get some air. I'm gonna go get some air. I'm gonna go get some air

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Brandon just know this is that for screen recording

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All right, Brandon, I promise you this time nobody's gonna jump out and surprise you man

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Sure, no, but no no

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Shorter ethnic gentleman is gonna burst in the door and you know try to I don't get you into his organization or what?

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It was a good one

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Would you my headphones just went out man?

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Wait what I hear him again now I hear it now. Okay. Yeah here now to

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Sometimes we fuck up. Yeah

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Sometimes what we do. Yeah, can y'all hear me? Yeah, I can hear you. Do you hear him? Say something? Yo, yo, yo

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Yo, I can hear you. Oh, you can't I don't hear me really. I mean I kind of do is it all at the same level

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Yeah, I heard it there. Oh, yeah turn them all to six

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I hear now. Yeah here. Oh, it was cuz it was turned down. That's why I could

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Yeah, that better. Oh, is that yeah audio for the yeah. Yeah. Oh, I see what you're saying

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Yeah, damn so now I can hear why they make that separate. Well, I guess yeah, you got to yeah, you never know

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The more buttons I just get intimidated

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So, how do you feel how you feel your first week is black panther man feels awesome man, you know Wakanda forever

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I love it. I feel like it was meant to be man. I've always loved black paper

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I've had the gears while I trained I would have black panther stuff. Yeah. Yeah good shit

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I even got a notebook now dedicated to black panther. I like that. I thought I do things a little bootleg though

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But I like it. I know the black panther and the black lion

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Yeah, they got all the black big cats. Hell. Yeah the BBC's the black big cats

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big blacks cats

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So what happened I

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Think he said CCC. Yeah, that's a little bit different. Yeah, what's CCC cats cats and cats. Okay

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That you and Jake's podcast

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Oh

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That was a bad voice crack I've been doing that a lot it happens cuz you just turned 21

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Yeah, and you were screaming those karaoke lyrics. Yeah

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Yeah, oh you didn't sing though. No, I didn't he didn't sing I was back there

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I'll back there. I lost my voice. Oh, you told my was saying either you was back there killing them song

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Oh, yeah, I never seen JJ this drunk. Yeah, I don't dude

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I don't really don't got a problem with drinking but like I'll get very very drunk once every three months

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Yeah, like the whole year I've known you a little under here. Yeah, never seen you drunk and then you were you were lit

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It's cuz I told myself in advance. I was like it's Brandon's birthday

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I'm gonna just let myself have fun do whatever and then the lady fucking shorted me $10 in my change at water

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Burger dude the same if you if you watch any of these episodes the same water burger girl who asked me in sci-fi to double team

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Er, yeah, that's the same one. I was getting that vibe. Yeah, she asked you

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She said she said you can have my ass and you can have my mouth. Damn and then this time she shorted JJ 10

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No, unbelievable. How did that come? Did you be like, yo, can I get like a number five?

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She's like you can also get she brought up when she like at water, but you know how they bring your food

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Yeah, just like she did with us. She brought the food. She just sat down and she was she sat down next to sci-fi

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She was like, I know what y'all do it. You can have my mouth and you can have my ass

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Wow, and Jaylen had just walked in with his cousin and and I'm sitting there like yeah, don't

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Didn't expect that to come out like it came out of nowhere

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There was no before this or we weren't flirting or anything

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You know, they do that on tik-tok a lot now with those jokes like they let some girls say some weird stuff

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I did the pepperoni was the dominoes girl. She had my pepperoni and everybody's confused

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Oh, but that's just for like that over the top to get people to interact with she was a hundred percent serious

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I know it's just crazy without a doubt when she came and dropped the food off, you know, I ordered two meals

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Oh, yeah, me too go big and then she was rubbing my back like she was rubbing the center of my back

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And I was so drunk. I didn't even feel it

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But then I looked and I saw her arm moving I was like, is she touching me right now?

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Yeah, I had a weird vibe too

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Sitting there just zoned out and then I didn't notice till the next morning that she shorted me 10 bucks

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That's fucked up. It was fucked up. You know, she pocketed that shit. Oh, yeah

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I even heard when we went I needed it. Yeah, right. I still do

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Yeah, we went and she was like y'all drunk. I was like, yeah, she said y'all been drinking. I'm gonna take advantage

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Yeah, yeah

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Oh my gosh, man

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Well that I can't believe she I can't believe she shorted you after she off to offered us her ass in her mouth

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That's what I do this. That's some bullshit. You know what it is Dom. It's racism. It is

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Pass kids man first sweet then sour. I didn't know what to say because like for a second

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I got genuinely angry about it again. I was hurt about it

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Ten you can test stretch ten dollars a long. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah

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Like especially whenever you you're taking the cash out so you don't overspend on your car. Yeah, you know what you're spending

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Yeah, that's exactly what I did. Yeah, and I don't keep money in the bank, dude

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Look at this is the question. This is the oldest motherfucker

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I'll keep it in the fucking bottom of my trash can

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Oh below the bag what the garbage truck just kidding. Look there. You're gonna find a note that says fuck you

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But I never tell you where I keep it, dude. I

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Can see you having like a little panel in your wall that you can pop out. It's too obvious

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I mean, it's too obvious man. Not like it looks like the wall though

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Yeah, but people would find it bro. People find do you wouldn't even I got like in my room

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I got a whole bunch of shoe boxes in my on my wall

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So like I have them like pinned in to the wall and I keep different things in each shoebox

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Who needs a fucking shelf you are shoebox dude. It's resourcefulness. It's like Odysseus from the Odyssey

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Have you ever read that Brandon? Oh

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Actually, we did a little paragraph

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Him too man, yeah, I think that's what he's having to get past silly and charbittis or whatever

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Oh

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Dy

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Yeah, look at that guy it looks like Zeus

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What did he do he was a general in the Trojan War and he was in the Odyssey is by his journey back home

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And he runs into all these troubles cuz he was stranded for like 20 years or something like that

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Damn, he went through like I mean, this is all fake. But like he went through

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All these different struggles like that's the fucking Cyclops, dude

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He had to escape the Cyclops on the island and they tied themselves under sheep to escape and that's actually he blinded the Cyclops

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And he tricked him. He was like the dude while he was escaping

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He was like, what's your name? And he was like because his the Cyclops dad is Poseidon or something like that Poseidon

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Yeah, I know that and he was like, what's your name?

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He's like my name is nobody and so he's the Cyclops was like crying out like nobody's hurting me, you know, nobody blinded me

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Yeah, cuz they have a movie about this right well, yeah, it's lore like

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Yeah, I remember the the Cyclops and him tricking him and all that yeah, I must have read it somewhere

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Tell my person you should read dude. We should remake the Odyssey for a skit like do let you skit like each different situation

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Brandon will make a perfect cyclops. Oh my I

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Was thinking over but oh yeah

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He just looks like a dude that would own sheep

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Shout out ogre

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Me a video somebody covering free bird on the harp. It was beautiful. Beautiful

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Oh, you said a video that I let him I let him pile up and then I watch them all whenever I have time

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Oh, it's always a good time. He'll send some crazy shit. He'll be on here and to to guest

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Yeah, you're in for a treat. Oh, yeah. Yeah ogre is the man

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It's motherfucking dude. I had a like a moment of cognitive dissonance

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I was conflicted within myself when ogre was on the stage at shag nasties because I was like

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Around the three and a half minute mark. I was like wait, how do I give them the light dude?

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And I'm not trying to be funny

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That was like yeah and thought that I had and then thank you for talking to Kim about it

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Cuz I had no idea what to do

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Yeah, cuz I could tell I was like you flashed the light and I was like, well, there's no way ogre can see that

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Yeah, you know and then I asked him and she was like, he'll be done after this joke and he started going into another joke

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And it was like it's your time ogre. Shout out Kim. I went to that

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Improv that damn prices on sketchy sketch sketch. Yes sketchy show sketchy

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That's sketchy at a shenanigans. I think they're gonna keep on repeating this show and it was funny like this

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I don't get how they

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Like for sketches and shit like it's it's improv out there

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They had all this shit like with no no notes or anything and they went through all these scenarios. I probably like 10

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That's impressive, man

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And then they had like a couple of skits that were filmed love both of those

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It was like a ghost real like somebody who will put a ghost in your house. Oh

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Like a like a reverse exorcism. Yeah, I kind of like that and then I he's like

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I'll put the ghost in your house and then they have one of like

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Like when you didn't go back to work when you work from home and then they do a performance reviews

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But they come back they come to your house and it was like, you know, it was like a cat lady

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It was funny and then they had a whole bunch of skits to like a whole bunch and after an intermission

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Dan and Kim did the news fucking killed it. My people were coming out. This is my favorite part of the show

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Kim did a who wants to be a millionaire

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it was like what they do like the questions at the end to get the million dollars were

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Progressively getting like he killed somebody like he was how I'm gonna donate this to my best friend

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To the park that he died in and then like all the questions were like getting them to admit that he killed it

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It was funny as shit. That is funny. I mean, I would never even think is something like no not even close

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That's why when I was watching and I was like and these guys I mean, it's just it's it's it's off-the-wall skits

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but they they they play it grounded and

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You could tell like it was a couple of people who were like it boasted the skits

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So they must be like the the big improv guy cuz you know, we don't know any of the improv guys

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I mean, I don't know many of them

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I don't even know what ledlows really the only ledlow and then that was the big guys name cuz he was there

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But he wasn't in it. He was on the spelling bee. I know you're talking. Oh, you went there at the spelling bee, huh?

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You know who I'm talking. He was funny as hell. I know exactly you're talking about he does impressions to us thing, right?

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No, I don't know cuz I've only seen him at the spelling bee and like one other time

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But he was hilarious at the spelling bee like he was killing it. I think I know you're talking about. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry

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I don't know. Yeah

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The ability to improvise that's just like an impressive skill to make it entertaining make it believable

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Mm-hmm like that. That's a whole nother skill on its own man

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yeah, that's dope that people are able to do that, but the only time we tried to improv dude, it was a

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Interesting which time? Oh

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You're talking about at us the shop

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Yeah, with the 18th century orphans go to the mall for the first time. Yeah. Yeah, that was we yeah

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We bombed and then and then whenever they explained that was like, I guess it was kind of easy

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But in my mind, I was like, that's the hardest thing I've ever heard of my life

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I don't know how to portray this like doing a tongue twister. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

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Well, you know, I started method acting to be an orphan both my parents left. I don't know if that counts as being an orphan

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Voluntary or you know, that's the my school's mascot orphans were the orphans

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Well, dude, that wasn't even can you look that up Brandon go to Centra or orphans?

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That's we had a number one winners basketball team in all high school basketball and for real. That's wild dude

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Oh your orphans centra basketballs first thing that pops up, but is there

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Wait, I'm so confused. Is it like an actual orphan like

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Actual orphan right? Why is he that what what about him?

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Makes him an orphan, you know, I never thought about it when I was younger, but we're the orphans dude. That's crazy

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Can you look at can you go like the Wikipedia page?

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At your feet or graduate to them. They took the at orphan nation Twitter handle, dude

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I doubt we have a Wikipedia page. Oh, they do they definitely

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I thought we had a weird mascot man. We were the Spartan high school senators

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Oh, yeah, but we were named after a senator

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Senator like a literal politician like the office, you know, cuz we're named I was like John's barkman or something

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That's about as bad. It's not as bad, but they're equally as strange. Who the fuck would be look at our page

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We will get the girls are the Annie's. Yeah, how do you have more sources references than actual material?

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Cousins try you do they're so stuck in like dude, I'm telling you they're stuck in my

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Probably equivalent to the 1980s. Mmm. Yeah. Yeah, sounds kind of cool

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No, they're just not worth it of the 80s. Yeah, not any of the good thing. Yeah, they he's just the worst part

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Yeah, I like the 80s people still pay with checks and how much how much do they pay D low to make this?

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To write this up

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It'd be some misspelling in there. He wrote it

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me too, though

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So I would be good at this

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Right. What are these up? What a fucker. Yeah, what's that? Centralia high school, dude?

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I'm trying to get on that. I can't believe it doesn't say the winning this basketball team. We have a sign scroll down over here

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Just scroll down to the over

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Go back to the basket. Yeah, let me just go back to basketball. I'm trying to see the roster

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Let's see. Oh right here varsity. It's March Madness basketballs in the air. Okay

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roster

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They got a big roster this year

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Oh, yeah, because the numbers tend to fluctuate

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Love it man

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Brandon if you if you could go back to like your your youth like five six seven years old and you could dedicate your life

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To playing one sport. What would you want sport? Oh, man, you already know MMA

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I mean you wouldn't not just go say basketball. No, I thought you were gonna say

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Brandon's already good at basketball. Good enough to

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Have him being any better. I love that

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MMA yes, that's why I would want to put I'm still trying to work on fixing that when I get free time one day

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You more of a stand-up like striker ground kind of guy

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Yeah, and then I also wrestling too cuz that's where we came from. I'd start would you rather be in the UFC or the WWE?

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Brandon

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Mmm, UFC. Oh, wait, wait. Hold on. Wait a minute. No. Yeah, you have C both same difference

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I kind of get that though because he wants to like be a UFC fighter and have that vibe

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But he can still appreciate the lore and the history and the culture of the WWE

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Yeah, it's actually because he's well around much like Odysseus a man of resourcefulness and cunning

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Craftiness plus later in the long line once I get through my career I go I could be like, okay

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I'm done with UFC

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Let's let's go to WWE cuz I see a lot of UFC fighters end up going WWE like Ronda Rousey and Ken Shanrock

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There's Ronda Rousey good. Do they like her in a WWE? I mean, yeah, they made her very popular

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Like I think she was a heel the heel, you know, it's a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She was here

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I think hey, like she was copying they had to wear like Roddy Piper shirt. Yeah

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See that yeah, that's weird like WWE like they get to decide who's the best

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Yeah

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And then UFC is just kind of like if Shawn Strickland wasn't good at fighting that dude would never have even been in the company

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Oh god, like if Shawn Strickland was in the WWE

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Could you imagine that him cutting a promo and just saying I'd be the best that oh, I mean I would be his number one fan

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Don't I'd have his fucking t-shirt. I'd be at WrestleMania right now, dude. Hey, that's coming up ain't it?

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WrestleMania say yes, it is WrestleMania 40. What's the bit? Oh 40. Oh hell yeah, it's gonna be like the rock in there

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You got some Roman Reigns Cody Rose dust. It's gonna be crazy

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Didn't like before last WWE Cody Rose like towards peck or something so he couldn't be

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They made plenty of talking about them

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Packs gotta fuck have you ever seen those you probably they probably post some on restrictive videos like people who tear their pack on like

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Incline been oh, yeah, I see it like come on. Oh

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Man oh

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It's all purple shit, dude, then he finished the match

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Oh how how it has to be like?

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Adrenaline carrying you through this part of it because that has to hurt so fucking bad

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I mean look at it, dude

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It looked like somebody hit him with a baseball bat in the chest

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Shit looks as bleeding and it's a very very very very was a member. Oh my gosh. It looks like he has a fucking black plague

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It's grotesque

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That's right there fucking worried looking at you. Look at that shit. He had it and he was pressing it too, man

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What oh he they like played in? Oh, yeah, they were like fucking what I keep rolling with you

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No, you got to dedicate to the part. Who is he fighting right? Is that Seth Rollins freaking Rollins? Is he good?

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Oh, yeah, dude is amazing and funny. I saw I saw his dick you got leaked online. Do you see it Brandon?

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No, I'm gonna let's see. Oh

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Hey

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I'm a big wrestling fan

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He's like yeah, I got it on my way that's really out there. Oh, yeah, what the hell I said

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I just saw it on Twitter when I was like 13, you know

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Oh, so it was a long time ago. Yeah. Yeah. No kind of like, you know, you see all the classic ones, bro

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You see Seth Rollins you see Brett Favre. I never seen Brett Favre. I'm a Packers fan. I've seen Jennifer Lawrence

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What's the other girl she has a dick man? No, I'm talking about news. I know

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Well, I remember I haven't looked at any of those when I was young I was a specific

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See why?

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Why was young I was just look I was like, let's see what they got next. It was this thing called slept G hop

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The deep fake and yeah, we saw

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Don't know if it was real or not

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Hey, as long as you but just like the WWE it's real as long as you believe me

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It's real is whatever you want to believe like Disney says, you know, I'm a Disney fan too, man

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Yeah, Disney and porn kind of go together. Yes, they actually do

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You got a little one see you and then when they tap each other explodes and shit, you know what?

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Do are you talking about like on Disney Channel when they would do? Yeah, you know

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Do you have you seen that? I know what like what that's so Raven. No

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Movies, you know when they starting the fairy touches the top of the castle and just blow up. Oh

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Yeah, it's not like a real it's like in the intro where Tinkerbell. Oh, okay. Yeah. Wait, what that's the intro for the porn

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I

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Don't know I was saying I was saying like you guys are talking about Disney. I don't know. Yeah

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Yeah, is the important how they cross over and you said yeah, they actually do

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Be a little tiny reference with the castle exploding. I don't know. That's why I was saying

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Oh, there are a lot of subliminal messages. Yeah

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like I think the

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The person who's ordaining

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I

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Thought I thought you were like, you know like the porn hub intro where it's like the little drum

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Yeah, I thought he was trying to say like for the Disney porn parodies

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There was something similar to that they use like Tinkerbell and she like squirts on the castle

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I don't know why that kind of relates to it a little bit

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I was like, it's like you hear a little like boom boom boom and he here

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Like it's just more upbeat. I feel like I feel you man

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I was talking to Brandon before you got in here and we were talking about I've been real hyped about the new Taco Bell menu

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Items the Cantina chicken quesadilla go try do yourself a favor to go try it out and I was talking to Brandon

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He was like they put an extra taco in there and when he was trying to describe to me what the taco looked like

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I was like, was it a hard shell or soft shell taco?

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And he went, you know, it's like a soft

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Please put that you have to switch his camera. Oh, it definitely

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Are you doing are you described? This is it's interesting that you're trying to do a visual demonstration for texture

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Like a burrito is fully covered

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That's how you would describe a reader yeah

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Taco because you put the meat in there if you're doing a taco, I don't feel like

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This is it. You don't see the side like the heart. I mean I get what you're saying

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I get what you're saying, but that's I don't think that's how I would do it. I don't know. Yeah, no

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Yeah, I don't think anybody in the world would do that

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But you so you say so you say a burrito is this because everything is covered. I feel like everything is covered up

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Okay, so now that's soft shell. Yeah, because look it's like the you and what's hard. Oh

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My bad. They're both like because of you like when you have it fully up like even with a soft one

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I'll make it look like this. He's saying this is the shell. Yeah. Yeah. Why do you do how you?

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Say what's different between the hard shell and a soft shell? What would you do for soft shell?

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Make it a little looser

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Make it looser

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Words

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With the soft one it's loosening up a little bit

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So that but the hard ones more stuff

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The hard one more stiff, but I was trying real hard to be on your side and you're losing me

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You don't I kind of get the vision with the hard shell. I get that. Yeah, so which one was it a soft shell hard?

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So, oh, it was soft. It was a soft and amazing. It was like a yeah, it was really good

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I think it was that new burrito burn. I didn't try it

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But the KCD is banging crispy chicken tacos banging so good man

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But that still doesn't have anything on Guthrie do golden fried and made with pride since 1965. Yeah, we don't have to watch it

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but God

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That's the only line that I know say it again was how is golden fry golden fried made with pride since

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1965 that's the only line I remember got this there's a lot of American flags a lot of white people not a lot of diversity

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Not a lot at all, but go to Guthrie's man. That shit is good, bro. See I want to go

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The closest one is Coleman and that's a sundown town

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Yeah, well whenever we go to Birmingham next time they got one in like one of the suburbs out there and it was good

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Man, yeah good. I went at 10 a.m

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To eat fried chicken dude, because it's just that good you see you waited till they open it to go in there

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It just so happened to line up because I was coming back from Auburn

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Okay to like line up to where I got there right at 1030, you know

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And I was about to pull it was a sign from the Lord. It was a Sunday

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I believe and I was pulling I had to stop to get not get gas

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I had to piss but I was gonna go to a gas station

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But then I saw Guthrie's right there and I was like bro. This is a sign. So I went in there got some food

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It was good

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00:24:40,300 --> 00:24:47,940
It was probably probably about 35 degrees outside and the man who was in the drive-thru was wearing like a one of those pepper

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puffer like sweater vest with short sleeves on

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You know, he's divine intervention. He's probably drinking though. Keep my warm, dude

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I don't blame him food was good came out on time. So I like here about man. Yeah

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Oh, yeah, I think we I think you should be able to drink on the job as long as you're not like a driver

321
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Yeah, I mean why not definitely should be able to smoke on the job. Well, you're not gonna be able to stop people from doing that

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Hey, you know with the pins

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Now yeah, everybody I lost my pen man, I'm so mad about that

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00:25:21,300 --> 00:25:23,220
And that was a while ago too, man

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00:25:23,220 --> 00:25:29,300
I know you're mad about that matter last one and that was like a brand new in the box in the box

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And these were the two grams day. They last forever. I would still be puffing on it right now

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Damn, man liquid diamond blend dude doesn't get better than that. That shit hurts. It's a high quality. I mean I lost him our lifetime

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A lot take a moment silence. Come on

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If you learn how to play taps on the trumpet do

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Happy Palm Sunday, by the way guys

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What is that what they do I don't know what Paul's a day it's like I'm like palm olive like the

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Oh Jesus rode into the town because Easter's next Sunday

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I got a green suit for that

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You got a dress on Easter side, you don't go to church any other day when he's Sunday you go to church

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I'll be there and that's for the Lord. You can catch me at your local

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Baptist establishment

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This is on a Sunday

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we're shooting because we're gonna want to shoot on Saturday because of Easter Sunday because out of respect out of respect Oh

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Oh, look at that nigga Barry boy. Whoa

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If you ain't very white you ain't got a big

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Dom said it was a green suit and Brandon was like did it look like this?

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It could be it could be green

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Imagine I didn't know that's what he was doing one of those people dude

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He's one of those guys that almost has this a strong ass face. Oh, yeah, he was cool

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I'm Angelina Jolie. This one's not as angular, but it's still a strong ass face. Yeah, it's strong features. Is that Drake?

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Huh? Yeah, that's right down there. Oh

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sample some

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They say you're trying to get oh, that's his hairstyle. Hey, but Barry was a

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Frye died and laid to the side. You see that motherfucker

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With that line up there Barry Barry was ugly the motherfucker, but he had all all the bitches back there

351
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That's a crazy lineup, dude. It's like a curve. Mm-hmm. There's a curb, but it's fresh though. Yeah, I'm not I'm not hating room

352
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You know me. Oh, man. Yeah. All right, we gotta go

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Our guests should be here in a second

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The great Ashlyn Lutz. Oh, yeah, it's gonna be fun the darlin of Huntsville. Yeah self-proclaimed that wasn't

355
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A remark, but she's funny and she's gonna be a ball of energy. I already know. Yeah, it's gonna be see in a second. See ya

356
00:27:59,260 --> 00:28:04,100
Good evening and welcome to the moonshine news report. I'm Dan price and I'm Sierra Moses

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Presidential candidate and noted theologian Donald J Trump endorsed a $60. God bless the USA Bible this week

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The Bible includes the Declaration of Independence the US Constitution and other additions all proceeds from Bible sales

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We'll go to feed the poor and the hungry

360
00:28:23,260 --> 00:28:31,380
No, just kidding. The proceeds will go to help the guy convicted of fraud and sexual abuse defend himself from paying hush money to porn star

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President Joe Biden sparked outrage this week when he once again proclaimed March 31st the International Transgender Day of Visibility

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Which happens to fall on Easter Sunday this year many right-wing Christians took to social media to criticize the proclamation and holiday

363
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Accusing Joe Biden of quote replacing Easter this response only perpetuates the stereotype that while Democrats like their eggs sunny side up

364
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Christian conservatives prefer them hunted deviled or unfertilized

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The Francis Scott Key Bridge in Baltimore collapsed this week when a key support pillar was struck by a

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Containership the massive steel truss bridge collapsed into the river killing six construction workers and blocking the Baltimore Harbor

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It's the most devastation caused in Baltimore since the archdiocese of Baltimore

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The Department of Homeland Security executed a search warrant this week at the properties of music mogul Sean Diddy combs in relation to an ongoing investigation

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Combs faces allegations of sex trafficking and sexual assaults and fled for the Caribbean shortly after the raid sparking further speculation

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Evidence collected from the raid is expected to be released in the coming weeks until then the diddler remains untouched unlike many of his alleged victims

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Washington State Governor Jay Inslee signed a law requiring a range of protections for adult dancers across the state

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Known as the strippers bill of rights the law mandates numerous policies and protections including sexual harassment training for club employees

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Enhanced security measures in dressing rooms and limits on the nightly fees that can be charged to dancers by club owners

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Also in Washington State 50,000 amazon employees wish they were strippers

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The identity of a billion dollar powerball winner was revealed this Friday

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39 year old Yanira Alvarez of Southern California chose to receive the 558 million dollar lump sum which will cover her rent in LA for the next six months

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And now for our continuing coverage of apocalypse watch 2024 sponsored by due nation hq

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00:30:46,460 --> 00:30:53,180
And the new summer flavor sensation star spangled splash the official caffeinated beverage of the end of day

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00:30:53,180 --> 00:31:02,140
A swarm of locusts will emerge from the ground in April unleashing a month-long feeding and mating frenzy scientists call it spring break

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00:31:03,660 --> 00:31:11,100
Trillions of insects have been living underground waiting to emerge for more than a decade. So naturally they picked an election year

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Singer Lizzo has sparked rumors of retirement after posting an emotional statement to instagram on Friday

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Saying I didn't sign up for this shit. I quit the pop star has faced backlash in the recent year after three of her backup dancers accused her of sexual harassment

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Discrimination and assault said the backup dancers in response to Lizzo's announcement. It's about damn time

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Finnish ambassador Kai Sauer said in an interview that

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Scandinavian diplomats are returning to the old ways of quote

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00:31:44,460 --> 00:31:51,420
Sauna diplomacy to evade russian spies and hackers the use of saunas for passing confidential information

387
00:31:52,140 --> 00:31:56,300
Is making a comeback because it's not easy for two naked men to hide a wire

388
00:31:57,180 --> 00:32:01,660
A comeback is also how you know, your sauna diplomacy session has ended

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Well, that'll do it for this week's moonshine news report i'm dan levy

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00:32:10,060 --> 00:32:15,840
And i'm sierra mozis don't shoot the messengers this week's featured comedian

391
00:32:16,620 --> 00:32:22,860
What kind of vibes I give off up here, okay? I have a bartender tell me one time I remind him of both

392
00:32:23,340 --> 00:32:25,340
Gina davis and beetle juice

393
00:32:27,340 --> 00:32:33,340
Which I think unfair I think you have a pig in my charming orange oblin sir. Am I charming or a goblin?

394
00:32:34,700 --> 00:32:36,300
Both

395
00:32:36,300 --> 00:32:40,300
Yeah, please look in the night

396
00:32:46,860 --> 00:32:49,340
I'm gonna take you back to my little goblin hobble

397
00:32:50,540 --> 00:32:55,100
And if you answer these riddles three you're gonna get this goblin dick

398
00:32:57,820 --> 00:33:00,300
You answered right actually I am a charming

399
00:33:00,300 --> 00:33:06,860
I lost 50 pounds on purpose recently

400
00:33:09,580 --> 00:33:12,060
Thank you i'm single he was short

401
00:33:18,060 --> 00:33:21,840
He's also a really big joe rogan fan so I consider myself a survivor

402
00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:27,440
I don't know why crypto guys are so in a choking

403
00:33:30,320 --> 00:33:32,800
I don't know what information they want out of me

404
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:42,080
But I do not feel like I have it

405
00:33:45,120 --> 00:33:48,240
I mean I would have told you at the start dude. You know what I just thought about

406
00:33:48,240 --> 00:33:54,480
Well, we should remake that uh, have you ever seen that movie where the kid plays baseball and he breaks his arm

407
00:33:54,560 --> 00:33:58,000
And he goes to the major leagues, but he's like 12 because he broke his arm. Oh, yeah

408
00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:01,840
What's it called rookie of the year?

409
00:34:02,640 --> 00:34:09,040
See, I just hit my funny bone and then you hit it and then you go become like a nationally touring hyper successful comedian

410
00:34:09,120 --> 00:34:11,360
But then you hit it again and everybody hates you

411
00:34:12,640 --> 00:34:14,480
And it's real sad

412
00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:16,480
Nothing good just a hard bomb for an hour

413
00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:22,500
You bomb at madison square garden. Oh you're talking about like dave schupeau

414
00:34:28,240 --> 00:34:33,440
Our guest today making our her presence known who we got today jj we have one of the favorites of the huntsville

415
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:35,280
What's she called?

416
00:34:35,280 --> 00:34:39,860
Uh the self-proclaimed darling on funsville company. That's not me being derogatory

417
00:34:40,560 --> 00:34:44,880
Yeah, a co-producer on the night camp variety show at shenanigans comedy theater

418
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:51,200
Let's go you can catch her shows all around huntsville including the one that just happened the tickled pink at orion amphitheater

419
00:34:51,280 --> 00:34:54,880
I was there was great. Oh, yeah today we have on ashlyn lutz

420
00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:58,960
Thank you, thank you

421
00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:04,080
Hey ashlyn, how you doing? I'm good. How are you guys? Hell? Yeah good. Thank you so much for coming on

422
00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:10,240
Thank you. I was there at the orion theater and when I tell you i'll be telling everybody you brought the motherfucking house down

423
00:35:10,240 --> 00:35:15,040
Yes, that was my first time seeing you do the um the splits really

424
00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:18,080
Yeah, because everybody told me that you did it, but I have never seen you do it

425
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:20,240
And yeah

426
00:35:20,240 --> 00:35:23,520
Yeah, no, it's like I do I like down stretch or anything like that

427
00:35:23,520 --> 00:35:27,120
I was like I wrote that joke and I was like well, I guess I have to learn how to do this

428
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:34,080
Wait you learned it just for the joke. Yeah. Oh, no, like I when I first started telling that joke

429
00:35:34,080 --> 00:35:36,080
Like I I could not do a split at all

430
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:44,080
Oh my god, I just was like, uh, I think it was like a month and a half before I was like this is impressive

431
00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:48,960
Holy shit, I think I can kind of do this split now. Oh, it's wild

432
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:52,960
We should insert a clip of us trying to see how low we can go on this. Oh we can totally do that

433
00:35:54,080 --> 00:35:56,240
Duh, look at this is gonna end in a like a copay

434
00:35:56,240 --> 00:36:05,680
Yeah, this is a good time to do it because I realized like I kept getting like too drunk and then just going for the split

435
00:36:06,880 --> 00:36:11,280
So I would like hurt for like a week after but I think I think I loosened some up

436
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:14,880
I think I can do this now

437
00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:21,040
So you come from a big family? Yes, eight siblings. Oh, no 10 10. Yeah

438
00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:24,480
Oh, okay. So we got eight of them. Do you let me say can I say their names?

439
00:36:24,480 --> 00:36:27,520
Yeah, Jennifer, Isaac, Alan

440
00:36:28,240 --> 00:36:32,080
I'm gonna say the a l elena elena luke jennifer

441
00:36:32,720 --> 00:36:37,280
L2 heather and amanda. Mm-hmm. There's two jennifers. No, there's just

442
00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:52,320
Yeah, we also have

443
00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:55,600
Wait, I don't know. I can say them in order. I don't know who you okay we have

444
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:59,280
Uh heather brandon mandy billy britney luke

445
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:02,000
Me elena jenna isaac allen

446
00:37:02,720 --> 00:37:05,520
Damn, yeah, so you're like smack in the middle. Yes

447
00:37:06,240 --> 00:37:08,240
I guess it's the same way. I have

448
00:37:08,960 --> 00:37:13,920
I think I think it's 11 of us total and i'm like right in the middle. Yeah

449
00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:16,160
damn

450
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:18,160
11 are you guys from like different?

451
00:37:18,480 --> 00:37:20,480
Oh, it's oh, yeah

452
00:37:20,480 --> 00:37:21,680
Oh, yeah

453
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:26,640
You're the same. We're the same. Oh my god. We're like pentecostal pastors. Oh, okay

454
00:37:26,720 --> 00:37:29,840
Yeah, yeah. Oh, wow. This is what I was excited talking about

455
00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:35,280
You grew up really religious. Yeah, i'm with you like coal ass. Yes

456
00:37:38,240 --> 00:37:44,320
Like where we can't watch disney movies because it's some oh you we couldn't watch disney's that's a little harder than mine

457
00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:48,960
Uh, we could watch disney channel later on but still not cartoon network

458
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:51,920
And still not like mt anything mtv

459
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:57,840
All right, so you couldn't listen to any worldly music. No, what do they call it? What's your parents secular secular?

460
00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:00,080
secular music

461
00:38:02,080 --> 00:38:06,400
Your first one of your first jokes is I have to know more about this about uh

462
00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:11,920
Your mom performed an exorcism on you. Yeah. Yeah, that's my first first joke

463
00:38:13,200 --> 00:38:15,360
And it's not even a joke. It's just like a story

464
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:21,760
Can we please hear it tell you guys about how my mom tried to exercise me when I was a kid

465
00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:25,520
Also, I think I was like no. No, I think I was like

466
00:38:26,800 --> 00:38:28,560
10. Okay. Okay. Yeah

467
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:36,400
And so me and my mom were just like watching tv together and she had found this like documentary style of like people who had been

468
00:38:36,400 --> 00:38:38,240
possessed by demons

469
00:38:38,240 --> 00:38:41,600
and so it was like a like a dateline like for

470
00:38:42,400 --> 00:38:44,400
possession

471
00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:52,160
Where it just like tells the story and like priests come in with like the facts of the matter and like this was probably a bullheaded demon

472
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:55,120
Okay hardest to get rid of

473
00:38:56,560 --> 00:39:03,360
Like an encyclopedia of the demon types and so like we're watching this one episode and like the guy got possessed and he like

474
00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:07,600
They got in the car. I'm telling you what I remember when I was 10

475
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:12,400
But like got in the car and was driving but like the whole time he was driving. He's like looking at the lady

476
00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:19,040
And so like didn't look at the road the whole time he drove home in the story and then uh, like they got home

477
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:23,840
They got like a priest there also like first of all excellent driver the demon he knew

478
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:26,640
He had been around those back roads

479
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,000
He's been in that town for generations

480
00:39:30,480 --> 00:39:33,200
but anyway, they got home the priest like

481
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:38,800
Like straight jacketed him or something. I don't know and then he had like a briefcase that he opened

482
00:39:38,800 --> 00:39:43,760
And this is what I remember from when I was 10. So I don't these facts could be very wrong

483
00:39:44,320 --> 00:39:49,760
This point with any there he had like a plate and like a little glass cup and then a vial of holy water

484
00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:54,240
So I poured the holy water in the cup put the plate on top of it flipped it over

485
00:39:54,880 --> 00:39:59,680
Put on the guy's head and started like praying and tapping it and the guy like yawned really big and it was like yep

486
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:01,520
The demon's gone

487
00:40:01,520 --> 00:40:03,280
We got rid of the demon

488
00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:09,760
And then my mom like in the same like right after that episode ended went into our like trailer kitchen

489
00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:15,520
And got like a styrofoam plate and like literally a red solo cup and like filled it with tap water

490
00:40:16,640 --> 00:40:21,920
In the kitchen and then put the styrofoam plate on it like flipped it over to the same device the priest did

491
00:40:22,080 --> 00:40:24,400
And it just came over to me. I was like chilling on the couch

492
00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:30,400
Starting like doing that same thing to me. Do you think you were possessed? I don't know dog

493
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:32,880
I never figured it out

494
00:40:34,080 --> 00:40:36,640
She has not she has she doesn't remember

495
00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:42,320
My mom does the same thing. Oh, I don't remember these things. I was like, why did you why?

496
00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:48,960
What was it because I got mad I didn't let her finish. Yeah. Okay, so then for like years later, I was like

497
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,000
She knew something. I didn't know

498
00:40:52,240 --> 00:40:55,360
I'm possessed. She got it out of you. No, I didn't

499
00:40:55,360 --> 00:40:57,360
Oh

500
00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:00,640
It was bullheaded

501
00:41:02,240 --> 00:41:07,520
Yeah, I know uh when I was young and I did something wrong or got in trouble sometimes like my mom got too mad and

502
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:13,200
Accidentally cussed or something. She'd get like the oil and then pray put on my head and then put over the walls and be like, okay

503
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:18,480
I gotta let you do the toms and I can still smell the olive oil. Oh man. I smell it too. It's so good

504
00:41:19,200 --> 00:41:23,380
No, we were the elite we were working with that shit. We were the elites

505
00:41:23,380 --> 00:41:24,660
Oh

506
00:41:24,660 --> 00:41:29,460
My dad was a pastor. All right. He had that he had that vial on him. He had that thing on him

507
00:41:33,700 --> 00:41:35,220
What was your uh

508
00:41:35,220 --> 00:41:40,980
First song that you listened to I think that you snuck. Yeah. Mm-hmm. It's like I think it was vampire weekend

509
00:41:42,260 --> 00:41:45,460
My sister had just got married and so she like married a hipster

510
00:41:46,020 --> 00:41:51,000
And then he like snuck made the sister. I'll share in a room with cds

511
00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:53,560
and so like we had like

512
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:58,840
Basically like pirated illegal cds like hidden in our dresser

513
00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:06,840
It was like vampire weekend and I found it and I really was this close to snitching because I was like britney if you send

514
00:42:06,840 --> 00:42:08,840
Us to hell

515
00:42:09,880 --> 00:42:15,960
I'm gonna be so upset with you. But then like it was like that vampire weekend like obvious bicycle

516
00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:19,160
Album. Yeah, okay. Okay

517
00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:22,440
I got in trouble for listening to backstreet boys whenever I was

518
00:42:24,040 --> 00:42:30,120
Blamed it on my brother who's with dh1 in this house and I blamed it on my big brother and then uh, he got a whooping

519
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:32,760
My bad, bro

520
00:42:32,760 --> 00:42:39,000
Which which song did uh, they find that you were listening to I wanted that away. Oh worth it, right?

521
00:42:41,560 --> 00:42:45,480
But what's what's what's secular about that man, it ain't jesus it ain't yep

522
00:42:46,120 --> 00:42:48,120
If it ain't jesus, it doesn't roll

523
00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:49,640
Not at all

524
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:51,720
In any I had a remember one time

525
00:42:52,520 --> 00:42:57,320
I had like a action figure and I traded it for somebody in school for dr. Oc from um

526
00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:00,520
Spider-man with all the things I thought was the coolest thing in the world

527
00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:03,880
My mom was like get this get this devil stuff out of my house

528
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:07,240
I can't believe you brought this in here made me so scared because I was young

529
00:43:07,240 --> 00:43:11,160
I probably was like six or seven and then like I just remember it being laying on my floor

530
00:43:11,160 --> 00:43:14,760
I had a bunk bed and I was on top and I was just looking at him like that's the devil right there

531
00:43:15,560 --> 00:43:17,160
I threw it away

532
00:43:17,160 --> 00:43:19,160
I was so scared

533
00:43:19,800 --> 00:43:26,680
You guys were intense intense. Oh, yeah. Yeah, we could do superheroes. We could even do like lord of the rings, but like, okay

534
00:43:27,640 --> 00:43:33,800
Harry potter hell no. No harry potter. No, no, I couldn't do harry potter until I got my grandma in on it

535
00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:38,780
We would watch a harry potter weekend on abc family and she really liked dobby

536
00:43:39,720 --> 00:43:41,720
That was my end

537
00:43:41,720 --> 00:43:48,600
Dobby yeah, dude when he died my grandma sobbed real tears real tears

538
00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:52,600
Fucked up, man

539
00:43:52,600 --> 00:43:57,480
My mom fucked up having 11 because you know like at eight. I don't give a damn

540
00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:02,200
All right, and then like you all were in the same house growing up

541
00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:06,760
Or which well, so my youngest brother was born

542
00:44:06,760 --> 00:44:13,240
Before like after my oldest sister moved out. Oh, my nephew is actually older than my littlest brother

543
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:19,320
So that's funny. Mm-hmm. Yep. My my little brother is the same eight or two years older than my niece

544
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:22,120
Yeah, one of the yeah, just kept having them

545
00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:27,320
Is that the is that the long skirts

546
00:44:27,880 --> 00:44:34,600
It is but we weren't the long skirt type we were like the speaking tongues and like everybody fell asleep during service

547
00:44:34,600 --> 00:44:36,600
time

548
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:41,000
Uh, but not like we didn't do nothing with snakes. We didn't have long skirts

549
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:44,040
Hunt hunt should be long. No, no

550
00:44:48,120 --> 00:44:50,120
Y'all are just freestyling for the lord

551
00:44:54,440 --> 00:44:56,440
That was the best in the region

552
00:44:59,560 --> 00:45:02,280
Hey, I got in a lot of trouble if I fell asleep in church man

553
00:45:02,280 --> 00:45:07,960
I'll get no i'm talking about like they got they got passed out in the spirit. Mm-hmm. Oh, so they were so into it

554
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:09,960
Yeah

555
00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:17,240
Yeah, that's the blankets you pull out when the ladies flipped out for the lord

556
00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:20,280
Okay, you gotta cover their skirts

557
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:25,400
They run up and down the hall, uh

558
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:30,520
The wrong way. Oh my mom was a flag flyer. What's the flag flyer? Oh, she had the flag. She was dancing

559
00:45:30,520 --> 00:45:31,720
Oh, okay

560
00:45:31,720 --> 00:45:33,720
christian color guard

561
00:45:36,280 --> 00:45:39,400
She was in color guard in high school, I think she was just chasing that high

562
00:45:44,440 --> 00:45:47,480
Fatness sprained my ankle dude on that pew

563
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:51,320
Oh shit

564
00:45:51,320 --> 00:45:53,960
Yeah, when I was growing up we didn't listen to music

565
00:45:54,040 --> 00:45:58,440
But I think it was more so less of like a religious thing and more so of like a lack of culture

566
00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:02,680
You know because my grandparents they they didn't play anything like in the car

567
00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:05,960
I thought like when I when I got where I went with my friends and stuff

568
00:46:05,960 --> 00:46:09,960
They played music in the car was like is this even allowed like this is legal

569
00:46:10,360 --> 00:46:15,160
Like can you play it while you're driving? It just seems distracting, you know, yeah, that's crazy

570
00:46:15,480 --> 00:46:19,080
I won't play music in the car when i'm by myself anymore. He has serial killer vibes

571
00:46:20,040 --> 00:46:22,040
All people are weird. Oh, yeah

572
00:46:22,040 --> 00:46:28,200
Yeah, were any of y'all a kid when spongebob came out? Yeah, I was allowed to watch it. You were allowed to watch it

573
00:46:28,520 --> 00:46:32,040
No, I wasn't till I was like six. I don't know my mom said it was too inappropriate

574
00:46:32,760 --> 00:46:37,960
There is some wild stuff. That's very it's crazy when I watch it and grew up in life. I realized yeah

575
00:46:38,040 --> 00:46:39,400
That shit was crazy, man

576
00:46:39,400 --> 00:46:43,320
But knowing all the things that were going on behind the scenes of nickelodeon now

577
00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:45,640
Oh my god, and it wasn't even

578
00:46:46,360 --> 00:46:48,360
Don't even know

579
00:46:48,360 --> 00:46:52,920
Hey, I saw it too. I watched it all night last night. You too. I want you to watch it

580
00:46:53,080 --> 00:46:57,160
But like okay, so basically nickelodeon dance niner. Is that his name?

581
00:46:57,800 --> 00:47:00,280
He was a piece of shit. Oh my god

582
00:47:00,360 --> 00:47:03,160
He was like raping the kids and he was like dude

583
00:47:03,160 --> 00:47:09,960
I mean we know like the foot stuff in the episodes but it was like foot assaulting these kids like a whole bunch of shit

584
00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:11,880
and then uh

585
00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:12,760
I think

586
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:15,640
Well, I don't know what can I say here. I think he we just cut it out

587
00:47:15,640 --> 00:47:21,880
We just kind of whatever but I think he like raped drake bell and like Amanda bynes and then I think it was like

588
00:47:21,880 --> 00:47:25,400
Oh, we didn't know it wasn't from drake and josh. Oh, no, it was another guy

589
00:47:26,120 --> 00:47:30,760
That uh, they recently found or they didn't another one. It was another him. Hold on this guy

590
00:47:31,160 --> 00:47:34,840
He was the worst one like oh, right. Oh, yeah

591
00:47:35,800 --> 00:47:37,800
He's the one that did that to drake bell

592
00:47:37,800 --> 00:47:40,440
I found out he was so bad that a kid came in one day. He had a painting

593
00:47:40,440 --> 00:47:44,920
He was like, what's that clown painting? Apparently he was a pen pal with john wane fucking gasey

594
00:47:44,920 --> 00:47:47,720
What get the fuck out of here man that dude right there?

595
00:47:49,080 --> 00:47:51,160
Like before he was on set like it was no

596
00:47:51,720 --> 00:47:56,280
They hired him. Yes, even when he got out they rehired him, but they were like you got all these limits

597
00:47:56,280 --> 00:48:01,320
You can't do that. You can't do this. How is that? Not like the main requirement for working with kids

598
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:03,560
Fucked

599
00:48:03,560 --> 00:48:06,440
Oh my god, it no it should be

600
00:48:07,000 --> 00:48:08,440
It should be number one

601
00:48:08,440 --> 00:48:08,920
Mm-hmm

602
00:48:08,920 --> 00:48:10,360
And you know what was worse man?

603
00:48:10,360 --> 00:48:15,400
Like when they were in the court they showed all these celebrities and stuff that were defending the dude telling the kid

604
00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:18,600
He was wrong when the kid was like how you gonna tell me when i'm telling you what happened?

605
00:48:19,240 --> 00:48:21,240
Oh, you're a kid. Yeah

606
00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:25,240
Because I saw it was like a youtube I haven't seen that documentary

607
00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:29,640
But it was like a youtube clip and they were talking about him and they were talking about uh,

608
00:48:31,000 --> 00:48:36,040
Uh, yeah, all those people came on his side like, um, like really famous people

609
00:48:36,040 --> 00:48:41,160
Yeah, and were like wrote letters for him and they said they wrote it under not knowing what was going on

610
00:48:41,160 --> 00:48:45,240
But you know what's going on. You're not gonna write something. Why agree if you don't know this story

611
00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:50,840
Yeah, exactly. That doesn't even make sense like a character witnesses and shit like that. Damn, but wait who did it?

612
00:48:55,560 --> 00:49:01,640
And then they said even leonardo decafrio was a victim from uh, brian peck too they found out. Oh wow

613
00:49:01,640 --> 00:49:06,120
Damn, see and if I got if I was a victim and I got as big as leo I would crush them

614
00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:08,600
I'm talking about make their life. Oh

615
00:49:09,400 --> 00:49:13,000
So bad wouldn't even get the police involved but i'm telling you I would make them

616
00:49:13,240 --> 00:49:17,320
Oh, they were and that's one of the guys that uh was backing him up. Oh, that's james morrison

617
00:49:17,560 --> 00:49:19,640
He was backing him. He was backing brian up

618
00:49:20,440 --> 00:49:23,080
Yeah, he was a kid. Yeah, but he was like, yeah

619
00:49:23,080 --> 00:49:27,960
He wrote like a letter saying something about let me see what is his name? Yeah a whole bunch of reading this from the headline of

620
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:31,640
No, no, no, I saw the documentary. Oh, okay

621
00:49:32,760 --> 00:49:36,520
They said he wrote I forgot like back then he because he hung around him a lot

622
00:49:37,080 --> 00:49:41,000
I'd have to relook at it. But they said yeah, he wrote a letter about it. Did you get into the uh,

623
00:49:41,640 --> 00:49:45,160
like when a pandemic came and all the uh, hollywood or

624
00:49:46,040 --> 00:49:48,120
holly weird holly weird all that stuff

625
00:49:49,000 --> 00:49:51,800
Did I like like did you get into the the conspiracy theories?

626
00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:58,600
Oh, no, but I have my I i will get behind some conspiracy theories. Oh, yeah. Yeah, what's the holly weird one?

627
00:49:58,840 --> 00:50:02,220
It's like it was like they're they're eating they're eating children adrenochrome

628
00:50:03,960 --> 00:50:11,400
No, I didn't get into that my little sister's dead but they were saying everybody in hollywood like the uh, what's that cult the teegans? Oh

629
00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:15,480
Yeah, no, no, they were in it for sure. Yeah, that's a cult 100

630
00:50:16,440 --> 00:50:20,360
That was the first one I heard about too. It was like but yeah, whatever they claimed about her

631
00:50:20,360 --> 00:50:23,400
They claimed about a lot of people. This is the letter. Yeah, this is the letter right here

632
00:50:23,800 --> 00:50:27,960
Letter dude in times new roman. I can read it to y'all on radio voice

633
00:50:28,920 --> 00:50:31,240
Go ahead. Yeah. All right. Hold on. Let me hold this

634
00:50:31,800 --> 00:50:38,920
I know brian very well and I know how much he has suffered since august of 2003 brian is a good person

635
00:50:39,160 --> 00:50:45,800
With a very healthy fear and respect for the law and I assume you what brian has been through the last year

636
00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:53,080
It's the suffering of a hundred men. I don't intend to victimize brian nor would he ever wish that but

637
00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:57,400
I do feel compelled and light on the fact that I have learned his lesson

638
00:50:57,800 --> 00:51:03,560
I guarantee you the earth would fall from the sky before brian would even think about doing something like this again

639
00:51:04,040 --> 00:51:06,040
I hope again

640
00:51:06,040 --> 00:51:09,640
I hope that you consider what I have stated here in your judgment

641
00:51:09,640 --> 00:51:16,200
I owe to peck brian a lot of who I am and who I am proud to be sincerely james marston

642
00:51:17,000 --> 00:51:21,480
That's grooming. Damn. How old was he in 2003? Let's see. Let's see. What was his name?

643
00:51:21,720 --> 00:51:28,120
Yeah, he's I mean he's got to be older than me. So he was old enough. Let's see james marston was born in

644
00:51:29,620 --> 00:51:31,480
1973 so 10

645
00:51:31,480 --> 00:51:37,880
20 so he was 20 in 1993. He turned 30 in 2003. Yeah, so he was 30 something when it's out of shit, man

646
00:51:37,880 --> 00:51:40,120
And damn never mind

647
00:51:41,240 --> 00:51:44,440
I saw this dude on hop man. Come on. Yeah, I like this guy

648
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:47,800
That's the new sonic

649
00:51:51,240 --> 00:51:53,240
This was my movie as a kid now

650
00:51:53,240 --> 00:52:06,760
Oh, yeah, he had a big ass just like me so

651
00:52:08,760 --> 00:52:12,920
What would be a conspiracy what's one of the ones you're into like you really believe yeah

652
00:52:13,320 --> 00:52:19,720
Oh that I really believe I do think hollywood is like pedophilic elite. I think that's like 100 up there

653
00:52:19,720 --> 00:52:23,640
I'm here. Epstein's shit. I believe all that i've seen shit. Um

654
00:52:25,720 --> 00:52:30,200
Or did you go okay on the epstein do you go as far as like think, you know, who's on the list?

655
00:52:31,160 --> 00:52:35,960
Um, I don't know anything about the list. I think we'll get it and I think I'll wait out but they they teased it like

656
00:52:37,640 --> 00:52:40,940
Stephen hawking. Yeah. Yeah, so it listed come out jay-z

657
00:52:42,520 --> 00:52:46,280
Yeah, they said something about jay-z. Okay, I think there was different times of the island

658
00:52:46,280 --> 00:52:52,920
Seasonally, I think we had a where we're raping kids time season and then it was like yachts bitches

659
00:52:53,240 --> 00:52:55,240
And so I think it was like

660
00:52:55,640 --> 00:53:00,600
Yeah, I think like a come full list probably isn't like all of these people are the pedophiles

661
00:53:00,600 --> 00:53:05,080
Yeah, because you got to think if they're like, oh the all the presidents and all these elites come out here

662
00:53:05,160 --> 00:53:08,520
You want to go somebody invites you out there? Also? He was like, I don't know what he did

663
00:53:08,520 --> 00:53:13,400
But he was like a pristine rich. Yeah, he was so like he had like luxurious guests

664
00:53:13,400 --> 00:53:17,960
Yeah, and he was always his friends with like the uh, the royals really really good friends

665
00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:23,560
Yeah, that one dude was uh, he's yeah that prince and prince andrew. Yeah

666
00:53:24,360 --> 00:53:26,360
That's he got his ass

667
00:53:27,320 --> 00:53:29,320
Oh

668
00:53:32,920 --> 00:53:34,920
Oh shit you went on al jazeera

669
00:53:35,240 --> 00:53:39,240
That's what that yeah al jazeera. Is that uh factual right there? Oh, yeah

670
00:53:39,240 --> 00:53:43,800
That's a really that's a well regarded publication dude for all your north african news. Oh

671
00:53:44,600 --> 00:53:46,600
I need to take a look sometimes. Is that what the island was?

672
00:53:47,320 --> 00:53:52,940
No, no, I don't think so. Actually, that's a really good fucking question. Let's see. Let me see where island location

673
00:53:55,240 --> 00:53:56,920
Yeah, that's good to know

674
00:53:56,920 --> 00:54:02,360
Yeah, just in case you accidentally stumble upon it one day virgin islands. Oh so virgin islands with no virgin

675
00:54:02,360 --> 00:54:08,360
Is that right? Yeah, that's right. Oh my god. Jesus. Oh that came out wrong y'all. American zip file sender Jeffrey Epstein

676
00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:15,000
Oh, okay. We looked up his island location. Never mind. I thought when you looked up the virgin islands, it was like

677
00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:17,560
their number one on wikipedia

678
00:54:19,000 --> 00:54:21,000
No, oh I got it

679
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:25,960
I think that's like one of the most expensive places to live though the virgin islands

680
00:54:25,960 --> 00:54:32,760
Is it I think like the perk perk habit it's like one of the most expensive places rent rent

681
00:54:34,920 --> 00:54:36,920
How much is the studio in the virgin island

682
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:43,880
Well, he paid what was it seven point ninety five million dollars, but that was in 1998. So oh that thing's worse

683
00:54:44,040 --> 00:54:46,840
Well, I don't know 110 million I think now

684
00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:51,880
Maybe my gosh, man. Jesus. That's like the gdp of like a really small country, dude. Yeah

685
00:54:51,880 --> 00:54:58,600
Yeah, that's does have like this one office building too. That's like one two stories, but it's like housing like

686
00:54:59,140 --> 00:55:01,560
300 the top 500 companies in the world

687
00:55:04,200 --> 00:55:06,200
Okay

688
00:55:06,440 --> 00:55:11,160
Damn that's where you go if you want to commit tax fraud. Hell. Yeah write that down for later

689
00:55:15,400 --> 00:55:20,440
So uh you like improv or you went to college for improv, right? No, I didn't go to I did

690
00:55:20,440 --> 00:55:23,400
I did improv in college. Okay. Okay. Yeah

691
00:55:24,680 --> 00:55:26,680
I get her major was improv

692
00:55:27,480 --> 00:55:33,080
Like I think jalen went to like a arts college and he like did something in stand-up

693
00:55:33,160 --> 00:55:36,920
Like actually yeah, and that's what I was trying to do too. Like the same place he was at columbia

694
00:55:36,920 --> 00:55:39,960
I was almost in but you know, I i'm broke so I couldn't get in

695
00:55:40,600 --> 00:55:42,600
Yeah, because when you switch states, you don't get

696
00:55:43,480 --> 00:55:46,280
Like out of state tuition insane. Yeah

697
00:55:46,280 --> 00:55:52,200
Yeah, so how'd you like it? Uh, it was a lot of fun. Uh, I was a star. Um

698
00:55:53,240 --> 00:55:55,960
Hell yeah, I love it. I was also an alcoholic but

699
00:55:57,480 --> 00:55:59,480
It happens to lab rats

700
00:55:59,560 --> 00:56:01,320
Yeah

701
00:56:01,320 --> 00:56:04,840
I was a lab rat. Wait, you were in the were you in the show lab rat? So you just

702
00:56:05,240 --> 00:56:07,240
Yeah, dude

703
00:56:07,240 --> 00:56:16,280
You know, I sang the intro I was one of the extras at the high school. Okay. I was like that's so cool

704
00:56:16,360 --> 00:56:20,440
So did you while you were in college were you doing stand-up or just improv? No

705
00:56:20,680 --> 00:56:23,880
I think I did I did stand-up like twice in college

706
00:56:24,040 --> 00:56:27,080
There was like a stand-up thing that had just opened at a bar

707
00:56:27,720 --> 00:56:32,120
And it was like literally just my improv troupe and some friends that like went and did it

708
00:56:32,440 --> 00:56:35,960
But I think I had done like twice and then covid happened. Okay. Okay

709
00:56:35,960 --> 00:56:38,040
So I had like done stand-up before

710
00:56:38,920 --> 00:56:40,200
Not like

711
00:56:40,200 --> 00:56:42,920
Actually, and you went to Mississippi State. Mm-hmm

712
00:56:44,040 --> 00:56:46,040
Shout out. Hell yeah. Hold up

713
00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:51,720
There we go, I don't know anything about football so I hate old miss

714
00:56:53,960 --> 00:56:59,080
Fuck up dude. Yeah, I would you I don't like to be there. So when did you start like really getting into stand-up?

715
00:56:59,480 --> 00:57:01,800
When I moved to Huntsville in like july

716
00:57:01,800 --> 00:57:03,800
July

717
00:57:05,480 --> 00:57:10,680
2021 july 2021. Okay. Okay. So like that's almost three four

718
00:57:17,080 --> 00:57:19,240
And you're already a killer i'm telling you

719
00:57:20,040 --> 00:57:25,400
I've seen i've seen you kill before at o ryan show you brought that motherfucker down. Thank you. I appreciate it. I'll be

720
00:57:26,680 --> 00:57:28,520
Because reyna went up first

721
00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:35,080
Raina was yeah, i mean the like the vibes were set so well like it was that was a good show

722
00:57:35,480 --> 00:57:39,000
Yeah, that was a really good show and then the and then there was another between you and reyna

723
00:57:39,400 --> 00:57:44,520
I didn't know her name. Okay. I can't remember her name. She was our bucket spot. So she was like she uh,

724
00:57:45,000 --> 00:57:47,000
One of our headliners brought her

725
00:57:47,720 --> 00:57:49,720
Yeah, that's all right

726
00:57:50,680 --> 00:57:52,680
You're right

727
00:57:52,680 --> 00:57:54,680
Right

728
00:58:12,440 --> 00:58:16,280
Now but you're a killer you're you're my girlfriend's favorite huntsville comedian

729
00:58:17,240 --> 00:58:19,240
With all of them being considered

730
00:58:19,240 --> 00:58:22,860
Including me, man. I'm not even upset about it

731
00:58:23,740 --> 00:58:25,740
Not at all

732
00:58:26,780 --> 00:58:28,780
Yeah, she saw you at the terrific

733
00:58:29,020 --> 00:58:32,060
Last month. Yeah, you killed that. Yeah, you that was good. Thank you

734
00:58:32,460 --> 00:58:38,220
Yeah, I was actually I was like starting to get like very nervous for like little I don't know like shows again

735
00:58:38,380 --> 00:58:42,940
Yeah, and so that was one of them and I like accidentally told a bunch of my jokes weird

736
00:58:43,580 --> 00:58:48,940
Like I told him like in a different way, but like everybody was like I like the way you said that joke tonight

737
00:58:48,940 --> 00:58:50,940
And I was like, hey, I gotta watch that

738
00:58:55,980 --> 00:59:02,380
All right, so uh scott put you on your first show right yeah, it was like a show at bar at 805

739
00:59:03,100 --> 00:59:06,300
And he had like some traveling comedians come in and I was like

740
00:59:07,100 --> 00:59:14,060
Not I was like new. Uh, it was like I was new and he was like hey, uh, you're gonna go up before these ladies

741
00:59:14,700 --> 00:59:16,940
by the way, and I was like, okay, and I got like

742
00:59:16,940 --> 00:59:18,940
15 bucks

743
00:59:23,740 --> 00:59:25,740
You did cross-country

744
00:59:29,260 --> 00:59:31,740
Yeah, what's up with that dude you and carson

745
00:59:32,460 --> 00:59:34,140
Yeah, yeah

746
00:59:34,140 --> 00:59:37,580
Yeah, that's why we get along and that's how you co-hosted night nightcap. Yeah

747
00:59:39,100 --> 00:59:40,780
So what is that?

748
00:59:40,780 --> 00:59:44,460
Because I haven't been yet night camp is like it's like a variety show

749
00:59:44,460 --> 00:59:49,740
Okay, and I mean like so me and carson we like planned we like planned a few but then we were like asked

750
00:59:50,060 --> 00:59:53,900
Like hey, hey, you want to do another night camp. So like that was that was huge. Yeah

751
00:59:53,980 --> 00:59:57,820
Like hey, we like night camp keep it coming. Um, but it's like a variety show

752
00:59:58,060 --> 01:00:05,180
So we have two improvisers like two people that are the improv people from like because we have a huntsville improv like

753
01:00:05,180 --> 01:00:14,140
Yeah, yeah, I do I do the same thing

754
01:00:15,900 --> 01:00:20,860
I did that last night with symphony on the radio. I said I said this is the

755
01:00:21,740 --> 01:00:23,740
the

756
01:00:28,220 --> 01:00:31,740
Sympathy symphony. Yeah, and I spent 10 minutes just constantly saying

757
01:00:31,740 --> 01:00:36,240
Sympathy sympathy this was live on the radio. Oh, no, I turned that air off

758
01:00:37,040 --> 01:00:39,040
I mean I was struggling on the air too

759
01:00:39,360 --> 01:00:42,800
Like even on the air I was like and then I got so mad when I turned on

760
01:00:47,040 --> 01:00:49,200
I was waiting for the phone call. What the fuck was that?

761
01:00:49,200 --> 01:00:56,500
Brian, yeah, we have a huntsville impromptu

762
01:01:01,600 --> 01:01:03,600
We have a scene for that thing too

763
01:01:04,560 --> 01:01:05,440
so

764
01:01:05,440 --> 01:01:10,000
We have two people that are improvisers only and then we get like four comics

765
01:01:10,320 --> 01:01:14,160
So the comics will do like a little set but then they are also in the improv game

766
01:01:14,160 --> 01:01:21,200
Oh, okay. So like we have improvisers so that like they actually know how to run the scene. So it like that's it's a good improv scene

767
01:01:22,000 --> 01:01:24,000
but then it's like the stand-ups like just

768
01:01:24,880 --> 01:01:30,960
Throwing to the winds with it too. And then sometimes we have drag shows, which is awesome. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So that's like a

769
01:01:31,580 --> 01:01:33,580
halftime

770
01:01:35,520 --> 01:01:41,520
It's like it's always a good time that sounds like a good time. Oh, yeah, I went to the um

771
01:01:41,520 --> 01:01:43,520
Show they had yesterday

772
01:01:44,560 --> 01:01:50,480
Sketchy sketchy. Yeah, how was it? It was good. It was so crazy how you guys can remember all that shit

773
01:01:51,200 --> 01:01:55,520
Like there would be no way for like it was like ten sketches. Oh

774
01:01:56,160 --> 01:01:59,440
Yeah, and and they didn't have a piece of paper. They didn't have

775
01:02:00,160 --> 01:02:04,320
You know anything to remember it off of and they just knew all of it and didn't break

776
01:02:04,880 --> 01:02:10,000
Like I thought it was gonna be at least a couple breaks didn't break at all. It was good. It was really fun

777
01:02:10,000 --> 01:02:12,400
So how do you get into like this improv?

778
01:02:12,400 --> 01:02:14,880
Do you have to do like a class thing if you want to get into it?

779
01:02:14,880 --> 01:02:21,200
You have to do a class shenanigans does like thunder domes, which is like anybody can go and do that

780
01:02:21,200 --> 01:02:24,240
But you have to go to like a practice or two beforehand

781
01:02:24,640 --> 01:02:30,320
Okay, and so if you like probably reached out and was like hey, when are your thunder dome practice dates?

782
01:02:30,320 --> 01:02:32,320
I want to try it. I think you could

783
01:02:32,320 --> 01:02:34,320
Okay, that'd be cool. Mm-hmm

784
01:02:34,320 --> 01:02:38,560
It's cool. They do have glasses. They do have glasses though. Yeah

785
01:02:38,560 --> 01:02:44,080
Go check out shenanigans.com. I know it's not called huntsville laughs.com. Okay

786
01:02:45,760 --> 01:02:52,240
And uh look up the the calendar you get on there that's what i'm going to do who's doing huntsville laughs

787
01:02:53,680 --> 01:02:58,320
Mm-hmm. I don't either that's a good question who runs a website. Yeah. Oh, I have no idea

788
01:02:58,400 --> 01:03:03,360
Yeah, I thought that was shenanigans is a site. Yeah. Oh, okay. Okay. Oh, so it has to be

789
01:03:04,160 --> 01:03:06,160
Kim or jessica. Yeah, jessica

790
01:03:06,160 --> 01:03:10,480
I don't know. Yeah, probably jessica. Maybe kim's gonna watch this. She'll tell me if i'm right around

791
01:03:11,120 --> 01:03:13,120
I'm guessing right now jessica

792
01:03:13,440 --> 01:03:14,720
For sure

793
01:03:14,720 --> 01:03:20,960
We'll find out. Oh my god jessica posted a picture of you dan and kim on facebook yesterday. It was so funny

794
01:03:21,040 --> 01:03:24,400
Oh, yeah, I saw that y'all saying next to each other there. She was like they're up to something

795
01:03:25,760 --> 01:03:28,800
We were just trying to figure something out about how to create a new channel on youtube

796
01:03:29,360 --> 01:03:33,280
It took all three of us were all over to create an account. Yeah, I have my

797
01:03:33,280 --> 01:03:35,760
Yeah, you were so are we gonna use?

798
01:03:37,440 --> 01:03:39,440
Jessica's like i'm on it

799
01:03:40,960 --> 01:03:45,440
I saw dime. I was like that's a fucking working man right there. Yeah, yeah, you were grinding

800
01:03:45,840 --> 01:03:47,840
You were so focused bro. I loved it you

801
01:03:48,240 --> 01:03:51,120
Why because I didn't know what the fuck I was like I should know how to do this

802
01:03:51,360 --> 01:03:53,360
You know when somebody asks you something like

803
01:03:53,440 --> 01:03:56,880
Immediately I was oh, yeah, you just do this then it wasn't working. You start thinking like

804
01:03:58,000 --> 01:04:00,000
I won't try try

805
01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:03,040
But nothing was working. I was wrong. Oh, yeah

806
01:04:04,240 --> 01:04:08,800
That was us yesterday trying to figure out how to color correct white people on the podcast

807
01:04:09,040 --> 01:04:12,160
Because they just get washed out. Yeah, I have to draw that nose back

808
01:04:13,440 --> 01:04:15,440
Ain't nothing you can do about it

809
01:04:17,840 --> 01:04:21,520
Yeah, we're getting better at it we got a little better maybe this episode it looks good

810
01:04:22,160 --> 01:04:28,640
I'm not even visible. I appreciate the warm light. I got my summer or not my winter pale night

811
01:04:28,640 --> 01:04:30,640
so

812
01:04:30,640 --> 01:04:34,800
So where are you from? You're not from here, right? No, i'm from like florida florida

813
01:04:40,400 --> 01:04:43,280
I got my boyfriend pence. That's how he told you like she got a little drop back deal

814
01:04:45,760 --> 01:04:47,760
She a little drop back deal what you doing my big dog

815
01:04:47,760 --> 01:04:49,760
Oh

816
01:04:52,240 --> 01:04:54,480
A little shout out night. He never watched this one

817
01:04:56,640 --> 01:05:02,000
Can I ask you a question though was buying like cds at the gas station a big thing back in the day

818
01:05:02,400 --> 01:05:06,480
Well, you wouldn't buy like a legit cd at a gas station, but you would buy

819
01:05:07,040 --> 01:05:09,760
It would be people out there to buy bootlegs. Oh, okay

820
01:05:09,920 --> 01:05:15,440
So, you know you would have somebody out there be like I got the new uh 400 degrees by hot boys. Okay. Yeah

821
01:05:15,440 --> 01:05:20,080
Yeah, you but how much when they try to charge you and they were still would be they would try to charge you like six

822
01:05:20,080 --> 01:05:23,680
Dollars or something like that because that because the cd back then was like 20

823
01:05:24,560 --> 01:05:30,080
I think it was like yeah 15 15. I think like 15 dollars for kind of steep for one cd

824
01:05:30,800 --> 01:05:32,800
Yeah, but that was the only way you could get music

825
01:05:33,040 --> 01:05:37,360
Back then there was no that's what I would have done in the past life the stream. What so cds

826
01:05:38,240 --> 01:05:41,600
No, it was cool. The shit. Yes, that's how I saw iron man, too

827
01:05:41,600 --> 01:05:46,000
I got fucked up because you remember that special dude slamming my mom pulled up to croakers

828
01:05:46,320 --> 01:05:50,160
He opened up his man. He opened up his trunk. He was like, what the fuck y'all want?

829
01:05:50,320 --> 01:05:53,360
She's like get him iron man, too. That's why I saw what was important here the

830
01:05:55,360 --> 01:05:57,360
That was the worst one

831
01:06:01,600 --> 01:06:06,880
First one's way better. I think robert downey jr had a relapse that year or something. Maybe it went downhill

832
01:06:07,120 --> 01:06:10,720
You like the marvel movies? I stopped it in game. Oh, yeah

833
01:06:10,720 --> 01:06:16,400
Yeah, because that's where I fucking ended. Thank you. So all those other I don't like marvel anymore

834
01:06:16,800 --> 01:06:18,800
Yeah, but I did

835
01:06:18,880 --> 01:06:26,240
Back then but in gaming before I mean everybody was into it like to some extent to go to the movies and watch this

836
01:06:26,720 --> 01:06:32,000
Uh, and then they they should have just ended it you could have ended it and brought in whatever the new thing is

837
01:06:32,000 --> 01:06:36,800
And I like the time haul in spider-man. I like the direction they went with that where it's like, okay now we can do multivers

838
01:06:37,120 --> 01:06:40,160
Now we can do other things other than the main story line

839
01:06:40,160 --> 01:06:47,040
Yeah, that is over. Mm-hmm. That's over but they they won't they won't let it die. What about deadpool?

840
01:06:47,040 --> 01:06:51,360
You like the deadpool? I do like that. You're gonna you're gonna come out retirement see the new one though

841
01:06:52,080 --> 01:06:54,640
In theaters, no, but I will watch it when it comes out

842
01:06:56,880 --> 01:07:00,800
I've never seen the deadpool. Oh, man, you got it. You're messing out. It's really good. It is good

843
01:07:00,800 --> 01:07:05,120
It's a fun. That's a fun hero movie. I like that they cuss. Oh they cuss

844
01:07:05,120 --> 01:07:07,120
I

845
01:07:14,080 --> 01:07:17,760
Thought that's how you remember the movie hancock, oh, yeah will smith

846
01:07:18,720 --> 01:07:24,240
I thought that was gonna be way better because I in the commercial was like he was drinking something some old lady said shut up, bitch

847
01:07:26,000 --> 01:07:29,680
This is gonna be the best superhero movie. It just turned out to be a bad love story

848
01:07:29,680 --> 01:07:33,680
Yeah, that was son of them

849
01:07:35,520 --> 01:07:41,040
Oh shit that dune 2 movie was good to see in theaters though. It was good. It was a lot of like

850
01:07:44,320 --> 01:07:51,440
Sensory overload just like loud war noise like but not even like the war noise like the butt the big like bongs and like

851
01:07:52,000 --> 01:07:53,440
Misty desert

852
01:07:53,440 --> 01:07:55,440
There's like 17 of those shots

853
01:07:55,440 --> 01:08:01,520
Damn, did you see the whole thing with the dune 2 like limited edition popcorn bucket? Yeah

854
01:08:18,400 --> 01:08:24,160
Why is the hand coming now man, I was so upset I was like fuck wait what how much do they go like

855
01:08:24,160 --> 01:08:27,680
It's like almost a hundred dollars now. Look one 179

856
01:08:28,320 --> 01:08:30,480
Damn, it's like you miss out you had a chance

857
01:08:34,320 --> 01:08:36,320
You wanted one brandon, yeah

858
01:08:38,080 --> 01:08:41,360
You could just get one that's designed for that purpose for

859
01:08:41,360 --> 01:08:50,000
A football man. This is oh, yeah that was he once had a pocket pussy that was shaped as a football. Yeah

860
01:08:51,280 --> 01:08:54,160
Yeah, you gotta understand and you know what sucks about this

861
01:08:55,840 --> 01:08:57,840
You know what nobody else knows this shit but uh

862
01:08:59,040 --> 01:09:02,640
We we went there with my whole family and we snuck in the back trunk

863
01:09:03,280 --> 01:09:08,000
Because we were like we were like real young we were 14 and we were 14 you had a football

864
01:09:08,000 --> 01:09:11,440
About 14 and me and my friend were dedicated to the sport

865
01:09:12,640 --> 01:09:17,200
We were we were in spencer's I don't got time to think about bitches

866
01:09:19,200 --> 01:09:22,400
Yeah, I knew we had we were gonna be a while so I said fuck it

867
01:09:23,280 --> 01:09:27,520
But uh, I sent my friend in there. I was like go get two man, you know, go get two

868
01:09:27,760 --> 01:09:31,200
He made it so awkward. He was like so hey, this is my first time getting one

869
01:09:31,280 --> 01:09:35,120
I don't know why the fuck you would tell the cash register that he's like, okay, so then we went home

870
01:09:35,840 --> 01:09:37,200
and uh

871
01:09:37,200 --> 01:09:41,520
Then we tried out and then he was like, I don't like it. I threw it in the trash. I like me too. I didn't

872
01:09:41,920 --> 01:09:47,360
But I realized I realized something that you should have done. I was supposed to take it out of the football. I didn't know that

873
01:09:48,640 --> 01:09:50,160
So the whole time

874
01:09:50,160 --> 01:09:54,560
You were trying to bang it. It was in the football. Yeah, he's tossing around little pigs

875
01:09:54,640 --> 01:09:59,600
That's why you didn't like it how I felt. Yeah, I was like this shit is weird. How the fuck am I my young ass?

876
01:09:59,600 --> 01:10:02,000
I didn't know you had to stretch. You know, I didn't know man

877
01:10:02,640 --> 01:10:04,640
I was learning

878
01:10:04,640 --> 01:10:09,760
Yeah, these are things we learn here on clown college. Yeah, it's clown college man. Yeah, we had learned

879
01:10:10,560 --> 01:10:12,160
How'd you find out?

880
01:10:12,160 --> 01:10:15,760
How'd you find out you could take it out of the football found out actually was like a couple months ago

881
01:10:15,840 --> 01:10:17,840
God was sitting out

882
01:10:18,320 --> 01:10:22,740
You've had an extended relationship you said 14 you just turned 21

883
01:10:27,600 --> 01:10:30,240
I was reminiscing about the old days one day and I was like

884
01:10:30,240 --> 01:10:36,800
I was like shit man. I need to damn I could have just took it out. Maybe it would have felt better

885
01:10:37,360 --> 01:10:40,880
I don't know buy some shit. Oh, so it was meant to fuck as a football

886
01:10:40,880 --> 01:10:42,720
Oh, yeah, it was meant what you did with your twisty

887
01:10:42,720 --> 01:10:46,160
You had a front and back and you you twist whichever side you felt that day

888
01:10:46,640 --> 01:10:52,720
And uh, yeah, you're supposed to take that whole thing out of the football the sleeve. Yeah the sleeve. That's just the that's the hidden

889
01:10:53,360 --> 01:10:55,120
That's the treasure case

890
01:10:55,120 --> 01:10:57,380
I don't know. He made himself uncomfortable

891
01:10:57,380 --> 01:10:59,380
You said that

892
01:11:00,020 --> 01:11:02,020
It's a weird time

893
01:11:02,340 --> 01:11:04,340
Fuck football

894
01:11:04,980 --> 01:11:06,980
What happened well sure can't catch it

895
01:11:08,260 --> 01:11:11,220
No, I just catch it and you just get those days behind us, man

896
01:11:12,020 --> 01:11:14,180
I just I just I try to catch it and throw it back

897
01:11:15,140 --> 01:11:17,540
That's all I got now. He's not allowed at the live shows

898
01:11:20,260 --> 01:11:22,260
I can't do it

899
01:11:22,260 --> 01:11:28,900
On tv now i'm just thinking about when we were throwing the football round outside canna bar if that was brandon's football or not

900
01:11:30,660 --> 01:11:35,700
I don't know what happened. He had to excuse himself early. Why is it so fucking slippery, dude?

901
01:11:44,580 --> 01:11:46,580
Cannibars got a nice bathroom though. Yeah

902
01:11:46,580 --> 01:11:53,860
Yeah, single and just a little slide lock on the door. They got a good setup in there, man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

903
01:11:54,340 --> 01:11:56,340
Brandon knows

904
01:11:57,140 --> 01:12:01,140
Yeah, I mean i'll go in there to do what I gotta do then go tell a joke

905
01:12:02,500 --> 01:12:04,500
That's what I got

906
01:12:08,020 --> 01:12:12,500
I heard Brandon knows what he knows about that and then second we were talking about footballs and and uh

907
01:12:12,500 --> 01:12:17,220
Uh being in the room too long. So I was like, let's let them know I don't do that

908
01:12:19,140 --> 01:12:21,140
I'm lost

909
01:12:24,500 --> 01:12:30,980
I was making like, you know, I don't go to places and just no we don't do that like that is frowned upon. Yes. No

910
01:12:31,460 --> 01:12:33,460
As you shouldn't

911
01:12:35,060 --> 01:12:37,060
Yes, you hear that old man

912
01:12:37,060 --> 01:12:43,940
Um, don't jerk off in public where I'm looking at you charlie. This dude was talking to me. I had my job. He's like hey man

913
01:12:44,500 --> 01:12:48,900
I'm like get the fuck out of here freaking weird ass. Oh, well, what what your job's on vcent

914
01:12:49,220 --> 01:12:55,140
Like a motive what about standing outside and he was like look at it this horizon out there. I was like what are you talking about, sir?

915
01:12:55,220 --> 01:12:59,540
He's like, you know on your break. I bet you go in there and do that. I'm like, no, no, I don't

916
01:12:59,620 --> 01:13:02,420
And he was like he was like well, I know I do and I was like, okay, man

917
01:13:02,420 --> 01:13:07,460
Does he work with you? No, it was a random ass dude. I never seen him again in my life. Yeah

918
01:13:07,620 --> 01:13:11,700
I've never seen him in my life again. Nobody asks people stuff like that brighter

919
01:13:12,500 --> 01:13:14,340
Did he ask?

920
01:13:14,340 --> 01:13:18,820
I don't know why I didn't I was like, oh, okay. That's weird. He's like, oh shit

921
01:13:19,860 --> 01:13:22,020
All right, man. All right, cool. Goodbye

922
01:13:24,100 --> 01:13:26,100
You have a uh

923
01:13:26,180 --> 01:13:28,180
The awkwardness was not on you

924
01:13:28,180 --> 01:13:30,180
Yeah, yeah, no, not on you at all

925
01:13:31,540 --> 01:13:33,540
Do you have an embarrassing story that you would tell

926
01:13:34,820 --> 01:13:37,940
What what what what like something you got really embarrassed about?

927
01:13:40,020 --> 01:13:41,220
Yeah

928
01:13:41,220 --> 01:13:45,220
Like for comedy. Yeah, comedy. It could be it could be in general just

929
01:13:45,860 --> 01:13:47,860
I was like, oh man shit myself

930
01:13:48,660 --> 01:13:50,660
Oh, yeah

931
01:13:52,580 --> 01:13:53,380
Amen

932
01:13:53,380 --> 01:13:54,260
um

933
01:13:54,260 --> 01:14:00,020
You say you shot yourself. What shit? Oh like your anal leakage that you had. Yeah. Well shit yourself everybody does that

934
01:14:02,340 --> 01:14:04,340
Okay, thank you

935
01:14:09,140 --> 01:14:11,140
That was the fucking year

936
01:14:14,100 --> 01:14:16,100
That was the year it happened to me 258

937
01:14:17,060 --> 01:14:19,700
Madagascar too. That's why you shit yourself. Yes

938
01:14:19,700 --> 01:14:23,700
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes

939
01:14:29,300 --> 01:14:31,880
There we go that son of a bitch

940
01:14:34,340 --> 01:14:36,340
Raggedy good for nothing

941
01:14:41,460 --> 01:14:46,740
When's the last time you shit yourself dom? Hmm. You know, it's been a while it's been a while but two weeks

942
01:14:46,740 --> 01:14:48,740
six

943
01:14:49,540 --> 01:14:51,540
At least

944
01:14:52,020 --> 01:14:57,860
Probably like six years. I shit myself more recently. Yeah, I shit myself more recently than that

945
01:14:59,940 --> 01:15:02,420
It was my first day let's hear all the shit story

946
01:15:02,500 --> 01:15:07,860
I'll tell you it was my first day of my junior year of college. I shit my pants on the drive to school

947
01:15:08,580 --> 01:15:12,020
Damn, I trusted the fart. Well, I went home

948
01:15:12,020 --> 01:15:16,260
Um, no, no, dude, I didn't go to class after that

949
01:15:17,700 --> 01:15:20,180
I had a lot more shit on my mind shit

950
01:15:22,020 --> 01:15:25,380
Yeah, it was bad man, I just went home and then I went to my next class though, dude

951
01:15:25,460 --> 01:15:30,180
Okay, I wasn't gonna let it ruin my entire day. Yeah, yeah, but you can't show up with shit in your pants

952
01:15:30,260 --> 01:15:34,180
I know you can't well you could that is also frowned upon. It's very

953
01:15:34,180 --> 01:15:41,380
Frowned upon. Yo, you ever ripped your pants? What was your last time? Um, I think damn I think mine was like

954
01:15:42,020 --> 01:15:44,020
last

955
01:15:44,260 --> 01:15:46,260
August

956
01:15:47,860 --> 01:15:49,860
Those warmer months will get you

957
01:15:51,140 --> 01:15:53,860
I'd had three cups of coffee already that day was long

958
01:15:55,540 --> 01:15:58,580
I was driving home. I also trusted the fart and I was like, yeah

959
01:15:58,580 --> 01:16:03,860
Yeah, you can't trust us for no me. I was too that's why anxiety's good

960
01:16:03,860 --> 01:16:05,700
I was too paranoid back there like you saw it

961
01:16:05,700 --> 01:16:09,620
You remember when I frat all gone for because I was too fucked up and I got the bag

962
01:16:09,940 --> 01:16:14,180
Whenever I feel like a storm's a coming I go I go prepared man. Like I was in school

963
01:16:14,260 --> 01:16:17,380
I said, oh shit, I just ran in there people like where the fuck you going?

964
01:16:17,620 --> 01:16:21,220
I saved it all man because if I wouldn't if I would have trusted it

965
01:16:21,860 --> 01:16:27,060
That would have been a bad day. See I feel you now. I'll say this. I never shit where it went down like my leg

966
01:16:27,060 --> 01:16:34,260
Oh, no, I haven't either no I had shorts on man. No, but I was sitting down so it was all contained

967
01:16:35,140 --> 01:16:37,140
What about when you stood up to get it out?

968
01:16:37,620 --> 01:16:39,620
It was more of like a crab shuffle

969
01:16:39,780 --> 01:16:43,620
You know i'm saying like get out of the car and then just went directly into my house

970
01:16:43,700 --> 01:16:48,260
Couldn't look any of my family in the eye at that point dude. I peed on myself not too. Uh,

971
01:16:48,980 --> 01:16:54,580
I definitely pissed on myself and I feel like pissing is way easier to avoid though. See here goes the thing

972
01:16:54,580 --> 01:16:58,660
I think whenever I had to piss I was driving home from somebody's house

973
01:16:58,900 --> 01:17:00,260
And when I left her house

974
01:17:00,260 --> 01:17:05,140
I had to I had to piss really bad and I knew that there was a gas station on the way between my house and her

975
01:17:05,140 --> 01:17:06,180
House, right?

976
01:17:06,180 --> 01:17:11,140
So i'm like i'm good to stop at this gas station when I got out to go to the gas station was closed

977
01:17:11,620 --> 01:17:15,380
And then so i'm like, okay, I can make it back and like I got back in the car and I was like, okay

978
01:17:15,380 --> 01:17:17,860
I can't make it so and this was when I was in the army

979
01:17:18,100 --> 01:17:22,020
So I had to go through a gate to get back on like somebody checks you so my

980
01:17:22,020 --> 01:17:26,340
My whole thing was like I had some gatorade next I was like i'm gonna pour the gatorade on me

981
01:17:26,500 --> 01:17:28,500
And if he asked me why

982
01:17:29,460 --> 01:17:31,460
You probably pour the gatorade on you

983
01:17:32,660 --> 01:17:39,220
Man it's purple what the fuck that's smart. I'm like no I spilled gatorade on myself man. He didn't ask. Why is the stain purple?

984
01:17:40,260 --> 01:17:42,420
He didn't ask I just spilled gatorade on myself

985
01:17:43,220 --> 01:17:48,580
Yo, did you ever uh accidentally rip your pants or something? I did that in Austin last time I was there. Oh

986
01:17:49,140 --> 01:17:50,500
deadass

987
01:17:50,500 --> 01:17:53,220
Hell yeah, man. That happens all the time. Oh, well

988
01:17:56,980 --> 01:17:58,980
Oh my gosh, man

989
01:17:59,380 --> 01:18:00,500
I

990
01:18:00,500 --> 01:18:02,820
I've never told this I feel really bad about this

991
01:18:03,140 --> 01:18:07,940
So I like to wear these carhartt t-shirts like I wear a car just because I like the how it feels man

992
01:18:08,260 --> 01:18:13,140
And and the thing about them is they have the tags on like the side right here. It's not in the back

993
01:18:13,540 --> 01:18:18,440
So and and it rubs against my like handle right here, dude, and I don't like it irritation

994
01:18:18,440 --> 01:18:24,760
So I was standing at the urinal one time at fucking uh campus 805 right outside the speakeasy

995
01:18:25,400 --> 01:18:30,280
And I was kind I had I had a little bit to drink and I was like I gotta get this fucking thing off of me

996
01:18:30,600 --> 01:18:36,360
And I ripped the tag off and i'm standing at the urinal pissing and I rip it off and it throws my body like this

997
01:18:36,360 --> 01:18:42,440
And I piss like all over the wall like if there was somebody at the urinal next to me like I would have gave them an

998
01:18:42,680 --> 01:18:45,400
impromptu wet t-shirt contest dude shit

999
01:18:45,400 --> 01:18:47,400
But you didn't

1000
01:18:47,400 --> 01:18:49,400
I didn't

1001
01:18:49,400 --> 01:18:50,200
Thank goodness you didn't

1002
01:18:50,200 --> 01:18:52,200
You gotta be the author of your own story dude

1003
01:18:52,840 --> 01:18:56,200
Imagine if I was working there man, they would be like Brandon we need you to clean this shit

1004
01:18:56,200 --> 01:18:58,200
Somebody peed all over the wall

1005
01:18:58,200 --> 01:19:05,080
You do get stuck with that man. I'm sorry. You gotta stop saying yes to that. Yeah, I can't I don't have a choice because you do

1006
01:19:06,200 --> 01:19:11,160
You can be the author of your own story. That's it. Get out. I'm like, all right throw the moth bucket at him or what?

1007
01:19:11,400 --> 01:19:15,000
What should what should he tell him Ashley? What should I tell him? Fuck y'all. No, you can't do that

1008
01:19:15,000 --> 01:19:19,320
It's that they always come to him to to make him clean up the shit. Yeah, like crime scenes

1009
01:19:19,320 --> 01:19:21,000
Yeah, and then they don't give him hours

1010
01:19:21,000 --> 01:19:23,560
They don't give him raises, but he always has to clean up the shit in the piss

1011
01:19:23,640 --> 01:19:26,680
Yeah, every time like we had homeless dude do a revenge crap

1012
01:19:26,920 --> 01:19:28,680
He got mad because we kicked him out

1013
01:19:28,680 --> 01:19:33,800
He came back in there because he had elephants with his wheelchair and got it all over the place and then they're like Brandon if

1014
01:19:33,800 --> 01:19:38,360
You do it. No, they were like brand. We need you to clean. So I cleaned it was so bad a whole what's your job title?

1015
01:19:39,000 --> 01:19:41,000
a bagger clerk

1016
01:19:41,000 --> 01:19:47,400
And then sometimes when you're cleaning your cleaning service like sometimes right what they do is they get like certain people to clean

1017
01:19:47,720 --> 01:19:49,480
So they'll go out to be like it's your day to do it

1018
01:19:49,480 --> 01:19:53,880
It's your day to do it and then at one point they just had me the whole time because they were like, you know good

1019
01:19:54,360 --> 01:19:56,920
Yeah, and then now now i'm getting to the point. I'm like, yeah

1020
01:19:57,800 --> 01:19:59,000
I don't know

1021
01:19:59,000 --> 01:20:03,080
Fuck now. You should have said no a while ago. I know I should say no now. I know

1022
01:20:03,960 --> 01:20:07,320
Tell her what your compensation was for cleaning the shit a free sub

1023
01:20:07,320 --> 01:20:11,320
Come on

1024
01:20:13,720 --> 01:20:16,040
Did you get the cheese that was on it? Oh hell yeah

1025
01:20:18,760 --> 01:20:20,760
I got me the buffalo chicken special man

1026
01:20:22,200 --> 01:20:26,760
Buffalo chicken special what's the what's the buffalo chicken? Is it your personal thing? Yes. Yes

1027
01:20:26,840 --> 01:20:29,560
So I get the uh, what's it the white bread?

1028
01:20:30,120 --> 01:20:35,000
Then I get the buffalo chicken then I get some blue cheese and after the blue cheese I put some uh,

1029
01:20:35,000 --> 01:20:37,240
Swiss cheese on it and then a little bit of ranch

1030
01:20:37,720 --> 01:20:43,480
Not that much a little slice of mayonnaise that you can't even really tell like just I tell them what they do is what you got

1031
01:20:43,480 --> 01:20:44,280
To do this how you do it

1032
01:20:44,280 --> 01:20:47,320
So you get the scoop and then you put it against the thing at the bottom

1033
01:20:47,320 --> 01:20:52,760
You got a little line and then you put it on the bread like that and toast it and then you put lettuce on there

1034
01:20:53,320 --> 01:20:57,160
Maybe if you're risky or feisty or going crazy that they put a little black olives and that's it

1035
01:20:58,200 --> 01:21:01,960
I clean the crime scene for that. Yeah, see there you go. What's your sub choice?

1036
01:21:02,920 --> 01:21:04,360
um

1037
01:21:04,360 --> 01:21:07,160
I actually had to give up cheese recently

1038
01:21:08,040 --> 01:21:10,760
Oh, no, this is my you know, I was coming back for it

1039
01:21:11,720 --> 01:21:18,280
coming back for it, but um, i'm like a vegetable I like a vegetable sandwich. Yeah, you asked for veggie

1040
01:21:18,920 --> 01:21:21,560
Quesadilla, do you eat meat though? I do eat meat

1041
01:21:21,560 --> 01:21:24,760
It's just not my preference because I was vegetarian for like a couple years

1042
01:21:24,840 --> 01:21:28,520
Okay, like through high school and then so I was like, i'll eat meat again

1043
01:21:28,520 --> 01:21:34,440
But then it just like I still like man, but that veggie sandwich was delish. Uh,

1044
01:21:34,840 --> 01:21:36,280
veggie sandwich

1045
01:21:36,280 --> 01:21:37,640
onions

1046
01:21:37,640 --> 01:21:40,680
Onions lettuce, which i'll put turkey on it mayonnaise

1047
01:21:41,400 --> 01:21:44,600
Sometimes I get crazy a piece of bacon maybe two a club

1048
01:21:46,040 --> 01:21:50,920
That's a club. Yeah, I like the club with pesto. Holy shit

1049
01:21:52,440 --> 01:21:56,760
I'm putting pesto on everything. I never tried pesto. Oh, hell man. You got it

1050
01:21:56,760 --> 01:22:00,520
You have you cleaning shit off the wall, dude. You need some pesto on your sandwich

1051
01:22:01,880 --> 01:22:03,880
Yeah

1052
01:22:14,520 --> 01:22:16,280
I wouldn't want this after I clean. I don't

1053
01:22:17,480 --> 01:22:22,040
Hand me this. I'm laughing. That's a game. He's seen too many kinds of shit. Yeah

1054
01:22:22,040 --> 01:22:28,280
Yeah, eat pesto I can't get over when he was describing the sandwich. He said a slice of mayonnaise

1055
01:22:28,840 --> 01:22:32,200
Because i'm telling you i'm very like if you do a little like it like okay

1056
01:22:32,200 --> 01:22:37,080
So this is the butter knife and then if you see it it has to be I want it lying like this because you got

1057
01:22:37,080 --> 01:22:40,920
A little bit of it's gonna take over the whole show. You're asking somebody to do this for you. No, I don't ask them

1058
01:22:41,000 --> 01:22:43,640
I just say like I just I don't ask i'd be like real light

1059
01:22:43,640 --> 01:22:49,000
But that's if I ever had the knife I would do it like if somebody gets this and does this and it's like too crazy

1060
01:22:49,000 --> 01:22:52,280
I'd be like, well, it's just gonna be a messy sandwich

1061
01:22:52,440 --> 01:22:54,440
But that's what I prefer light

1062
01:22:56,040 --> 01:23:00,520
Light well ashlyn, this is the end of the podcast. It's been a fun one

1063
01:23:01,880 --> 01:23:03,880
It's been you got some good laughs

1064
01:23:04,840 --> 01:23:06,840
I was crying over here

1065
01:23:06,920 --> 01:23:08,360
For real

1066
01:23:08,360 --> 01:23:10,520
What you're gonna do now in this camera right here?

1067
01:23:10,840 --> 01:23:15,560
You say any uh anything you got coming up your socials and everything will have her on the side of you

1068
01:23:15,880 --> 01:23:17,880
My name is ashlyn lutz

1069
01:23:17,880 --> 01:23:24,840
Uh, you can catch me at night camp in june of this year. It's not sooner probably going to be june

1070
01:23:25,240 --> 01:23:27,880
You can find me on instagram at s dot deluxe

1071
01:23:28,600 --> 01:23:29,720
um

1072
01:23:29,720 --> 01:23:48,380
Don't add me on facebook probably but you can find me on instagram. Oh, yeah