1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,000 This week on Clown College 2 00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:06,000 We're gonna play in the Super Bowl now dude 3 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,000 What? It's Super Bowl 4 00:00:12,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Usher 5 00:00:14,000 --> 00:00:15,000 Hey man that's the dude 6 00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,000 He said Usher, Usher 7 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:20,000 Yeah you gotta be like Usher with Usher 8 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,000 That's what he does 9 00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:25,000 Yeah but Usher's smooth 10 00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,000 This is the Clown College Podcast 11 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:31,000 We're just a couple open micers trying to make our way through the scene 12 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:35,000 Where we interview comedians throughout different stages of their comedy career 13 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:38,000 No matter if they're open micers, headliners, or traveling comedians 14 00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:42,000 I'm here too, Jamie 2.0 I just talk a lot more 15 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,000 Damn it Brandon 16 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,000 Go sit in the corner 17 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,000 Oh shit 18 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,000 I got caught on my titty 19 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:54,000 Oh man that's good 20 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:58,000 You hear everybody? First of all Brandon said that's good 21 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:00,000 That's good 22 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,000 What you got out of there? 23 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:09,000 I'm fairly certain I could be arrested at any moment for being a serial time killer 24 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:12,000 Damn shut up 25 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,000 Oh my god 26 00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,000 Grant Tuck is a fucking hoot 27 00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:18,000 A hoot and a holler maybe 28 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,000 Life is full of complications 29 00:01:20,000 --> 00:01:23,000 Even when you're born there's a string attached 30 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:26,000 Here Brandon take it 31 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:27,000 Hold up 32 00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,000 Take your poison Brandon 33 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:34,000 Let's see let's see 34 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:41,000 These black and Mexican jokes have gone too far 35 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,000 Once you know Juwan, you know Jamal 36 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,000 Is that really it there? 37 00:01:47,000 --> 00:01:48,000 Yeah 38 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,000 That's legit 39 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:54,000 I can't believe that's in there 40 00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:55,000 Yeah that's legit 41 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,000 Okay 42 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:59,000 Well it says warning contains offensive jokes 43 00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,000 That's how you know 44 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,000 That's the only one I want to read 45 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,000 Hell yeah 46 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:07,000 Okay here we go 47 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,000 Good trigger happy 48 00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,000 Alright guys I have this fortune cookie 49 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:15,000 I think we should open it and this is going to determine the fortune of this pie king 50 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:18,000 The future of you 51 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,000 Hope 52 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,000 ASMR 53 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,000 Let's see we got 54 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,000 Wow 55 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:30,000 You will find happiness in mind and heart 56 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:33,000 So you gonna eat that cookie? 57 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:34,000 We're gay man 58 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,000 You gonna eat that cookie? 59 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:37,000 Do you want it Brandon? 60 00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,000 Hey it's up to you man 61 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,000 You got it 62 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:40,000 Thank you because I was like 63 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:41,000 Fuck 64 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,000 Oh 65 00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,000 Oh 66 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:45,000 That was crazy 67 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,000 That was tight 68 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,000 It got stuck in the 69 00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:49,000 I just did dude perfect type shit 70 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,000 You gotta rip the cookie in half man it's a fortune 71 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,000 Why do you eat it like that? 72 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:00,000 What the fuck 73 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,000 Go ahead 74 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,000 It's good 75 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,000 I didn't even get to see all of it 76 00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:14,000 I can't wait to look back on this and see how you did 77 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,000 When I looked over he looked crazy dude 78 00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,000 I can't imagine what it looks like on camera 79 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,000 It looks like Coke Zero on you 80 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,000 You know the camera is going to be on you this whole time 81 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,000 The audio listeners are going to hate this 82 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:34,000 They're like that's why I'm back and left them like 83 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,000 I wanted to get an audio 84 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,000 Okay dude 85 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,000 How was your week going? 86 00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:42,000 Oh man it was good man 87 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:46,000 We're shooting this early but we got to host 88 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,000 Both of us host our first Open Mic solo 89 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,000 Yeah that was cool 90 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,000 That was really cool 91 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:53,000 I was at Pleasures with Silver 92 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,000 Silver Bullet Comedy 93 00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:57,000 In association with 94 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,000 Clown College 95 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,000 Hell yeah 96 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,000 Hell yeah 97 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,000 Okay no hold on hold on wait wait 98 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,000 Hold your horses 99 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:08,000 JJ you hosted your first show at Shag Nasty's 100 00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,000 Open Mic 101 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,000 Open Mic 102 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,000 Yeah that's a show 103 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:14,000 You come out and see us as a fucking show alright 104 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,000 You're going to goddamn laugh 105 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:16,000 Something's going to happen 106 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:19,000 Somebody's going to say something into a microphone 107 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,000 Oh yeah 108 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,000 That's for damn sure 109 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,000 That's for damn sure 110 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,000 It could be people who don't know what they're doing 111 00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:26,000 And they just get up there but I like those kind of things 112 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,000 If you're going to laugh dude 50-50 chance 113 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,000 Yeah 114 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,000 But somebody has something for you 115 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,000 Yeah 116 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,000 Mike 117 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:40,000 Is there any group of people that we have that people wouldn't laugh at 118 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:41,000 Like one of the comics 119 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,000 You got somebody for everybody 120 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,000 Oh hell yeah 121 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,000 People from China 122 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:46,000 Yeah they may have a hard time 123 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,000 Yeah 124 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,000 Well that's nobody can do that 125 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:51,000 Well that Asian girl like my Pacific Islander body joke 126 00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,000 Yeah 127 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,000 Are you assuming she was Chinese? 128 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,000 I am 129 00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:58,000 At least you're honest about it 130 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,000 I am but I'm pretty sure she was 131 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,000 Well statistically you're probably right 132 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,000 There are a billion Chinese people 133 00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,000 Yeah 134 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,000 But I can tell 135 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:11,000 I can see the only ones I have a hard time with is Vietnamese and Chinese 136 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:13,000 What do you mean have a hard time with them? 137 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,000 Separating them 138 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:18,000 I think I can definitely tell a Korean from the other ones 139 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:21,000 Oh you can't sniff out the difference too 140 00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:23,000 And I like to say I can do Chinese 141 00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:26,000 But sometimes the Vietnamese trick me 142 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:28,000 You know they're putting that 143 00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:29,000 They look like they're part of the 1% 144 00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,000 Historically accurate 145 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:32,000 Yeah 146 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,000 Japanese for sure 147 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,000 I can tell 148 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,000 You would have died in Vietnam 100% 149 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,000 Oh yeah 150 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:39,000 They were doing guerrilla warfare 151 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,000 That shit's not 152 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:42,000 You would have got syphilis 153 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,000 Oh yeah definitely 154 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:46,000 Yeah 155 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,000 And not from a girl either 156 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,000 Oh damn 157 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,000 Well you got that 158 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,000 Things got rough over there dude 159 00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,000 It was an emergency 160 00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,000 They had all kind of 161 00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:58,000 They weren't they famous for having like prostitutes come to the 162 00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,000 To entertain the soldiers 163 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,000 Yeah I heard something about that 164 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,000 To release the stress 165 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,000 Because they were dying so fast at a rapid rate 166 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,000 Damn 167 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,000 Yeah I mean you got to have some reason to keep fighting 168 00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,000 Yeah 169 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,000 Might as well be hookers dude 170 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,000 Why not 171 00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:15,000 Brandon have you ever been approached by a sex worker? 172 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,000 Yeah 173 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,000 You have 174 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,000 Let's hear that 175 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,000 Let's share about this 176 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,000 I don't know about this guys 177 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:23,000 Brandon has been approached by a lot of sex workers 178 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:26,000 Brandon has been approached by a lot of sex volunteers 179 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:28,000 This is the one I turned 18 180 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,000 Me and my friend got a hotel 181 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,000 We were just hanging out 182 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,000 And we were chilling 183 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,000 And we were like hi 184 00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,000 And we were going upstairs 185 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,000 And we were debating on 186 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,000 Walking like a mile 187 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,000 Because it was like pitch black 188 00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:41,000 It was like 10 o'clock at night to a strip club 189 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:43,000 Because we never done that 190 00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:45,000 And I heard they let like 18 year olds in there 191 00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:47,000 So I was like fucking man let's go to this strip club 192 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,000 And walk under this bridge 193 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:52,000 And walk probably like 8 miles in West Hale and get lost 194 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,000 And I go outside 195 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:58,000 And there's a fucking like tall ass prostitute standing outside 196 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:01,000 Being like hey man y'all need some company 197 00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:03,000 And we were like no no it's okay 198 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:04,000 It's good 199 00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,000 We just go downstairs 200 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,000 And then we came back up 201 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:09,000 And the prostitute was still there 202 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,000 And then I looked outside 203 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,000 They were still there 204 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,000 They didn't leave until like 3 or 4 in the morning 205 00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,000 You keep saying they 206 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:16,000 Is it a man or a woman? 207 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,000 Yeah 208 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,000 I don't know 209 00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,000 I don't know 210 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:22,000 Like I'm being honest 211 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,000 Oh okay 212 00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,000 Yeah I don't know 213 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,000 Yeah 214 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,000 Okay I was wondering you kept 215 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,000 You were specific when you said the prostitute 216 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,000 Because I'm not 217 00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,000 I'm just being honest 218 00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,000 Sometimes it would be a little bit high 219 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,000 Like hey you want me to come in there or something 220 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,000 And we'd be like no no you're good 221 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,000 You don't have to come in there 222 00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,000 You sure? 223 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,000 No you're good 224 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,000 Do you know how old we are? 225 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,000 No 226 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,000 Yeah that was 227 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:48,000 I can't believe we almost walked pitch black to a strip club 228 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,000 Named Uncle Bucks or something 229 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,000 Booby Bungalow 230 00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,000 Yeah 231 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,000 Okay 232 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,000 So it was all the way down there 233 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:56,000 You know where Mid City is at right? 234 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,000 Yeah 235 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:59,000 You know where that hotel is at? 236 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,000 Yeah 237 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:03,000 I was going to walk from there all the way down to past that target 238 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,000 All the way near 239 00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,000 It's like a mile 240 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,000 At least a mile 241 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:09,000 Hell yeah like 12 at night 242 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:10,000 I don't know what the fuck would happen 243 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,000 That's where Booby Bungalow is? 244 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:14,000 Yeah it's over by that big TNT Fireworks store 245 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,000 Okay 246 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,000 CarMax on University 247 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,000 Oh really? 248 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,000 Yeah 249 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,000 Huh 250 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:20,000 I had no clue 251 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,000 I only thought they had the pony here but I think they got scores right? 252 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,000 What's that? 253 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,000 No? 254 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,000 Scores? 255 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,000 Maybe I'm wrong 256 00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,000 No I heard it's scores 257 00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,000 Wait y'all say they do have scores 258 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,000 It took me seconds 259 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,000 And then don't they have like Larry Flint's here? 260 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:33,000 I don't know what that is 261 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,000 That's you know Hustler right? 262 00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,000 The magazine? 263 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,000 Yeah 264 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:41,000 Yeah the dude who owned that he has like a whole bunch of strip clubs 265 00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,000 What's his name? 266 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,000 Larry Flint 267 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,000 And he's the ugliest motherfucker you ever see 268 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:51,000 I just I can't believe that people used to go out to a store to buy porn like a magazine 269 00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,000 Rent a video 270 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:53,000 I'm like what? 271 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,000 Dude it was a whole thing 272 00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,000 What if you see your neighbor? 273 00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,000 Exactly 274 00:08:56,000 --> 00:09:02,000 And he's renting like weapons of ass destruction you know I think nobody wants to see that 275 00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:06,000 Bro whenever we had to do that because it was like you go to the video store right? 276 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:14,000 And all the videos and games are have their like on the front and then there's this back room that had all the you know 18 and plus all the porn and shit 277 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:22,000 And so we I was younger so we couldn't get in but what we used to do we used to like have somebody like I'll stand outside 278 00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:30,000 D-Lo will go in there and just hurry up and grab one of the cassettes and then you take that one put it in like a kids movie box 279 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,000 Oh my gosh 280 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:38,000 Yeah and then you check it out and that's the way you'd be able to get porn because if you took it up to the counter they wouldn't give it to you because you're not 18 281 00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:44,000 And somebody gets a fucking sex movie that's actually a children's movie 282 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,000 Yeah I didn't think about that but yeah that did happen 283 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:49,000 That's furious that guy is furious 284 00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:54,000 Yo you know they had theaters with this shit too like everybody would come to the theater 285 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,000 Yes that's crazy 286 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:59,000 Like you know T.W. Herman got in trouble with that shit because he was bad dad jacking off 287 00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:02,000 If they're playing porn you should be able to jerk off 288 00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,000 Yeah I mean 289 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:05,000 I mean is this or is this not the United States of America? 290 00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,000 I feel like this shit 291 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,000 We should be a proper country 292 00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:11,000 I don't know why he got arrested for that though because they arrested him 293 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,000 Indecent exposure 294 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,000 Yeah you're right you're right 295 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,000 Who decides if it's indecent dude? 296 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,000 You're right you're right 297 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,000 Even though 298 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:21,000 When you pull your dick out in front of a movie theater 299 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,000 Yeah 300 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:29,000 Yeah I was fucked up seeing you imagine going in there seeing your child hero like damn this is a way to meet you and he's like hey shake my hand 301 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:32,000 You meet him at the porn movie theater? 302 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,000 Yeah like you never know 303 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:36,000 It's a bad way to meet your heroes but fuck it 304 00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:40,000 I just don't think it would happen man I'm gonna be honest with you 305 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:41,000 That would be a weird way 306 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:44,000 Famous people tend to avoid awkward public settings 307 00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:47,000 Should I see Taxi Driver with Robert De Niro? 308 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:50,000 No but in the movie he wasn't famous 309 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:53,000 Yeah I know but they might 310 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,000 I feel like come on man it was 1970 311 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:57,000 Are we still talking about the porn movie theater? 312 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,000 Yeah 313 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:01,000 So Robert De Niro in Taxi Driver goes to a porn movie theater? 314 00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,000 I think he does 315 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:09,000 Yeah you remember because he brought the girl there on the first date he was like girl I know a perfect place to take you on a first date 316 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,000 That's a sick movie 317 00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:13,000 Porn club and then she left and he was like wait wait wait why are you trying to leave now? 318 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:16,000 She's like why the fuck did you take me here? It's bullshit 319 00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:20,000 Dude going on a first date to a strip club? Talk about a good time man 320 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,000 I mean yeah 321 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,000 That's crazy 322 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,000 You gotta be clear on that 323 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:29,000 Women have more fun at strip clubs than guys for sure 324 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:31,000 I've never been to one 325 00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:33,000 Y'all never been to one? 326 00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,000 I mean I'm not a big strip club guy 327 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:37,000 Because it's like 328 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,000 No I'm not 329 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,000 Me and Brandon looked at each other 330 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:45,000 I won't go like uh first of all I wouldn't go by myself because it's just sad 331 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,000 Yeah 332 00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,000 So I'll go my boy 333 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:51,000 My boy that I went to kill Tony with CT 334 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,000 He loves him 335 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:55,000 I mean if he comes down here we have a tradition it's like 336 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:58,000 He comes in we go to Twin Peaks to eat 337 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:02,000 And then after that we go straight to the strip club and I'm like hey you wanna go downtown? 338 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,000 He's like you know what we're doing 339 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,000 I've never been to Twin Peaks 340 00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,000 I've been to Hooters though 341 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:08,000 It's better than Hooters 342 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,000 The food? 343 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:11,000 No food's not better 344 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,000 The food is all I care about 345 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,000 Hell yeah 346 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,000 I remember my mom embarrassed me down there 347 00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,000 What'd you say? 348 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,000 I said my mom embarrassed me down there 349 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,000 At Twin Peaks or Hooters? 350 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:25,000 Yeah because I was no at Twin Peaks because I was looking like at this one girl 351 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:28,000 And then my mom was like oh so you wanna look at people? 352 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,000 He wanted me to come to this place and then she called her over there 353 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,000 She's like hey come here 354 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,000 Come here take a picture of my son 355 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:35,000 So I had to go up there and take a picture 356 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,000 Here's the picture right here I look like this and shit 357 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,000 No scared 358 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,000 I cannot wait to see this 359 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,000 Do you have it? 360 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,000 Brandon pull it up dude 361 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,000 I got it 362 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,000 Pull it up 363 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,000 We gotta see that 364 00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,000 Oh you like got it on you 365 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,000 Yeah it's on my phone 366 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,000 It was airdropped 367 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:51,000 My grandparents would never take me to Hooters man 368 00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:53,000 So I didn't get to go until I was older 369 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,000 But I was like dude this is the shit 370 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:57,000 And it's really all about the food man 371 00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,000 They got good wings 372 00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,000 Hooters has really good wings yeah 373 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,000 They have good food 374 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,000 Yeah 375 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,000 Yeah 376 00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,000 Twin Peaks does it they just have 377 00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:07,000 Fried Mahi sandwich dude at Hooters 378 00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,000 What is Mahi? 379 00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,000 For real? 380 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,000 Fish 381 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,000 Oh that's a fish? 382 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,000 Yeah a Mahi Mahi 383 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:15,000 I swear I thought somebody told me I was in the office 384 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,000 I've never seen anybody 385 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,000 I got so much shit 386 00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,000 I hope the camera gets it 387 00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:21,000 People don't do that man 388 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:24,000 I never got fish from Hooters though 389 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,000 Yeah me neither 390 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,000 Why not? 391 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,000 Dude you only live once 392 00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:30,000 Well that might be the last day right there 393 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,000 Yeah you never know 394 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,000 You never know man 395 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:36,000 That's when your 50-50 comes in 396 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,000 That always comes in Brandon 397 00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,000 That is always a rule 398 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,000 What's he doing? 399 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:47,000 What's he doing man? 400 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,000 I'm firing the things for you 401 00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,000 Go ahead go ahead 402 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,000 You're firing the picture 403 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,000 We'll come back to it 404 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:54,000 Riveting comedy that's going on 405 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,000 This is unexplainable 406 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:02,000 I mean I don't think you can get better just watching Brandon look through his phone 407 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,000 I'll watch that 408 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:04,000 Let's just watch Brandon 409 00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,000 Where the fuck? 410 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,000 Period 411 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:07,000 Do anything dude 412 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,000 Okay here it is 413 00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,000 Oh yeah 414 00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,000 He found it 415 00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,000 Just air drop it to the computer and put it on the screen 416 00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,000 Let's see 417 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,000 He's using all of his arms 418 00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:21,000 His biceps involved 419 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:24,000 His tricep activation dude 420 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,000 What I put it right here? 421 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:27,000 He's using all of his arms 422 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,000 It'll be around there 423 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:33,000 You just press air drop to Dom and you have to accept it on the computer 424 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,000 Maybe it's down here 425 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,000 I really hope they can see it 426 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,000 I hope it's down 427 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,000 I'll get it on there later 428 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,000 Yeah I can't hold it 429 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,000 I don't think Brandon's air dropping 430 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,000 Yeah my air dropping is shit 431 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,000 Last time it wasn't working 432 00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,000 Yeah it's not doing 433 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,000 Let's pass the phone over here let's see 434 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,000 Yeah hold on here y'all go 435 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,000 There it is 436 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,000 What the fuck? 437 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,000 Brandon looks different in every picture 438 00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,000 Oh my god 439 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,000 Yeah man 440 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,000 Hey Brandon look like a G-Ray 441 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,000 Look like Yo Gotti 442 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,000 Yeah I was trying to look cool man 443 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:10,000 Because I was like shit I gotta look cool now 444 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,000 Had to look like I knew what was going on 445 00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:19,000 I've started this podcast with more questions than answers shit 446 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,000 I have no clue what's going on 447 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,000 We never do though 448 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,000 No man not with that guy over there 449 00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,000 No no no 450 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:30,000 Brandon you just have to listen intently 451 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:34,000 But you're like I'm pretty sure I missed something 452 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,000 You didn't miss anything 453 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:40,000 It's just Brandon just said some off the wall of the craziest shit 454 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,000 Oh yeah rest in peace Toby Keith dude 455 00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,000 Oh yeah 456 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,000 Rest in peace man 457 00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,000 Yeah rest in peace 458 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,000 Sure 459 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:49,000 Yeah patriotism died a long time ago 460 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,000 That was a country 461 00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,000 I think COVID killed it 462 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,000 I don't know 463 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,000 It could have 464 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,000 It was around that time 465 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:57,000 That's what got D-Bow 466 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,000 D-Bow Sammy 467 00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,000 Oh big D 468 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,000 Friday D-Bow 469 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,000 He talking about D-Bow D-Bow 470 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,000 Friday on a bicycle 471 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,000 Take your chain 472 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,000 Uh huh 473 00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,000 Who's gonna play in the Super Bowl now dude? 474 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,000 What? 475 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,000 It's Super Bowl 476 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:14,000 Usher 477 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:17,000 Hey man that's the dude 478 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:20,000 He said Usher 479 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,000 Yeah you gotta be like Usher with Usher 480 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:25,000 That's what he does 481 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,000 Yeah but Usher smooth 482 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:29,000 I don't know man I think he was a little bit before my time 483 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,000 What Usher? 484 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,000 Yeah 485 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,000 Usher has bangers dude 486 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,000 After bangers 487 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,000 My mom would play him in the car a lot 488 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,000 Like I remember also what was his name? 489 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,000 What was that dude? 490 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,000 John Lennon 491 00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:42,000 John Lennon he'd be like give me the green light like that type of shit 492 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,000 The green light 493 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,000 Remember that song? 494 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,000 We were just watching Lennon 495 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,000 John Lennon? 496 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,000 Oh shit 497 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,000 Insert that clip of him singing that crazy ass 498 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,000 Oh man 499 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,000 Which one? 500 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,000 What song? 501 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,000 Well I can't tell you 502 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:54,000 You know it down 503 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,000 What song? 504 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:58,000 Women are the n**** of the world 505 00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:01,000 It's a literal song that um 506 00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:04,000 Oh not John Lennon I was talking about John Legend my bad 507 00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,000 Little bit different 508 00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,000 Oh my gosh 509 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,000 Just a tad 510 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,000 Oh my 511 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,000 Just a tad 512 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,000 I was sure like John Lennon 513 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:13,000 It would have only been half as bad if John Legend made that song 514 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,000 You know what I mean? 515 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,000 At least it would have been good 516 00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,000 Yeah 517 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,000 But let me search up 518 00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,000 It's the one 519 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,000 We watched this last night 520 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,000 Hold on this shit was crazy 521 00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:23,000 I can't believe this exists 522 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,000 Remastered in 2010? 523 00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,000 We can't play it 524 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:29,000 And uh but it's wild 525 00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:32,000 We'll insert a picture of it though 526 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,000 Like the album cover or whatever it is 527 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,000 Hold on yeah let me see if there's a picture 528 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:39,000 Uh it's crazy that that was a thing 529 00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:41,000 He tries to explain it like he doesn't back off of it 530 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:43,000 He's like yeah if you think about it 531 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,000 He doubles down 532 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,000 And I get what he's saying 533 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,000 It's a different way to say it 534 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:49,000 Or maybe just maybe that's not your thing 535 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:52,000 Maybe just go back to doing the other things 536 00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,000 Just don't touch it 537 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:56,000 Oh yeah that's the pizza 538 00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,000 This is an insane thing 539 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,000 That is fucking crazy 540 00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:02,000 It's a picture that goes along with the words 541 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,000 Oh my god 542 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,000 My goodness 543 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,000 The totem pole dude 544 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,000 Dude how this is real blows my mind 545 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:10,000 And there's like interviews with him explaining it 546 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,000 John Lennon 547 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,000 And I don't know if I'll get in 548 00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:15,000 But he kind of sucks 549 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,000 Like just his music 550 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,000 Like what we saw last night 551 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,000 Elvis is way better 552 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:23,000 I'm so far removed from that style of music 553 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,000 That I just don't 554 00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,000 I mean I am 555 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,000 That doesn't resonate at all 556 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,000 I am too I never listen to The Beatles 557 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,000 But I heard some stuff last night 558 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,000 And I'm like he's not good 559 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,000 He might be a good songwriter or something like that 560 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,000 But his voice ain't shit 561 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,000 Maybe just nobody else was doing it 562 00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,000 Yeah that's true 563 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,000 What was your style of 70s music? 564 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,000 Who did you like? 565 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,000 Like top 5 from the 70s? 566 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,000 The Deetle 567 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,000 Uh 568 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,000 You give me some 569 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,000 It's Luther 570 00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:53,000 I don't know Luther was more in the 80s and 90s 571 00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,000 Yeah he was in the 80s and 90s 572 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,000 Yeah Brandon knows the dates man 573 00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:58,000 I don't know man 574 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,000 I mean I would have to see like 575 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,000 I don't think I listen that much 576 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,000 No he was 60s he died in 1969 577 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,000 I ain't like listening to that 578 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,000 Yeah rest in peace 579 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:09,000 I don't know if I listen to any 70s music 580 00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,000 Really? 581 00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,000 I might 582 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,000 Earth, Wind & Fire? 583 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:13,000 Oh hell yeah 584 00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,000 Yeah September 585 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,000 Like I have to see it though 586 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,000 Okay 587 00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:19,000 Like 70s isn't my thing 588 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,000 I don't fucking know 589 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,000 Well what generation is your favorite music? 590 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,000 90s 591 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,000 90s? 592 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,000 Yeah 593 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:28,000 You got the best R&B and the best hip hop 594 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:32,000 All even Alternative was peaking mid 90s 595 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,000 Yeah 596 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,000 Yeah 597 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,000 Marcy's Playground 598 00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:38,000 I smell sex and candy 599 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,000 Yeah 600 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:44,000 Who's that lounging in my chair? 601 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:49,000 Who's that casting deep via stairs in my direction? 602 00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:51,000 Mama this surely is a dream 603 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,000 Dig it 604 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:53,000 It good? 605 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,000 I don't know 606 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,000 That's that shit 607 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,000 We gonna get copyrighted 608 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,000 They were singing that back in the day huh? 609 00:19:57,000 --> 00:20:00,000 Yeah we danced just like that 610 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:03,000 I was young in the 90s so I wasn't going out 611 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,000 But I loved that shit on VH1, MTV 612 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:08,000 Yeah it's probably just because that's when I grew up 613 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:11,000 Like yours is probably what 2010s or something 614 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,000 I don't give a fuck dude 615 00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,000 Yes 2010s 616 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,000 2010 617 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:19,000 2010, 2013 was the year that I would say I definitely remember the most 618 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:22,000 2013 and 14 those are good years I guess 619 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,000 What do you remember about those years man? 620 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:27,000 I remember I was in 5th grade 621 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:31,000 That was the year I bought that ring for that girl at a closing Kmart 622 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:35,000 And it was like a real ring and I went up to her and I was like yo will you go out with me for this ring? 623 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:38,000 And then the whole class saw and they were like how y'all react 624 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:42,000 They were like holy shit what the fuck is Brandon doing now come here 625 00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:46,000 And the whole class pushed me up to the girl and they were like he wants to go out with you 626 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,000 And she was like fuck it I'll do it 627 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:51,000 She took the ring and the next day I was like you ready to go out? 628 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:55,000 And there was this dude next to her and he was like yeah sorry man she just went to ring 629 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:58,000 And I was like hell yeah 630 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:02,000 Then I went back and told my whole family I was like that was not true 631 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:07,000 Cause I told everybody at the house I was like I'm the fucking man I'm finna get laid in 5th grade 632 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,000 What? 633 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,000 I know that shit was crazy man 634 00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:16,000 The fact that I bought a real ring in 5th grade is crazy 635 00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,000 How much was the ring? 636 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:20,000 It was at a closing Kmart you remember when Kmart was closing 637 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:22,000 They were selling them jewelry for cheap 638 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:23,000 How much was it? 639 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,000 I think it was like 20 640 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:27,000 Nothing crazy 641 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,000 20? 642 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:29,000 Yeah 643 00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:30,000 And she took the ring and 644 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:34,000 Yeah and then the next week the dude was there and they were like damn man she just went to ring 645 00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,000 Was it her boyfriend or something? 646 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:38,000 Oh yeah I guess I don't know 647 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:39,000 It was a dude 648 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:41,000 And you did this in front of the whole class 649 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,000 Oh no yeah dude they all grabbed my hand and pulled me 650 00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:47,000 They were like yo what is Brandon? It's crazy let's take him up to her 651 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:52,000 And then they put me on top of the tree house and everybody was like just give him this fat boy chance 652 00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,000 I was like okay 653 00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:55,000 Tree house where? 654 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,000 We were at recess 655 00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,000 Oh they had a tree house? 656 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,000 Yeah they had a little tree house they put me on top of 657 00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:03,000 They made me do it they were like go up there and do it 658 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,000 What? 659 00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:05,000 I'll go on top of the tree house 660 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:09,000 Okay okay rewatch so you went on top of the tree house with the ring 661 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:10,000 Yes 662 00:22:10,000 --> 00:22:13,000 And then screamed down to everybody that you wanted to date her 663 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:15,000 Or we're talking to her but everybody 664 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:16,000 No they were following me 665 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:22,000 Everybody was following the whole class and then they circled around the tree house and I went up there and did that 666 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:25,000 I was like hey you know you want to go out with me? 667 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:26,000 With this ring? 668 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:29,000 You performed a grand gesture of romance 669 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:32,000 And I didn't even talk to her it wasn't a day or nothing I just didn't know 670 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:34,000 What was her, do you remember her name? 671 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:38,000 Yeah it started with fatigue 672 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,000 She's probably still around 673 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,000 Thomas 674 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,000 Yeah 675 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:45,000 Let's just say Swiss like you know the first name of Swiss 676 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:47,000 That's it the first name of Swift 677 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:49,000 I think everybody in the world got that 678 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:52,000 You couldn't have picked a better one 679 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:53,000 First name of Swift 680 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:54,000 First name of Swift 681 00:22:54,000 --> 00:22:56,000 I can't believe you did that is a grand gesture 682 00:22:56,000 --> 00:22:58,000 In fifth grade yeah man I did wild shit bro 683 00:22:58,000 --> 00:22:59,000 I didn't care 684 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:02,000 That's some like some real cultural shit 685 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:03,000 I went to crazy shit man 686 00:23:03,000 --> 00:23:06,000 That ain't culture that's just Brandon right there 687 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:09,000 That's like a civil courtship 688 00:23:09,000 --> 00:23:10,000 Yeah 689 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:11,000 Like back in the day 690 00:23:11,000 --> 00:23:12,000 My lady 691 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:13,000 The nights and shit 692 00:23:13,000 --> 00:23:15,000 I didn't hear the ring 693 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:16,000 So was she 694 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:17,000 Gold silver 695 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:19,000 So how'd you hand it to her was she on the tree house with you? 696 00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:25,000 Yeah she was just standing there and she was looking around everybody confused like oh shit I don't I feel bad 697 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:27,000 Alright fine let me get the ring and she took it 698 00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:33,000 Standing on the ring we both standing there everybody just circling around like a rain up bro it was so fucking weird 699 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:37,000 It was very awkward and everybody was like aww look at Brandon he did it 700 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:41,000 Okay so was she in the tree house like the tree house is elevated right? 701 00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:43,000 Yes so was she in the tree house with you? 702 00:23:43,000 --> 00:23:44,000 Yes 703 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,000 And then everybody else was outside on the ground or in the tree house? 704 00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:50,000 They were because it was like a it was like kind of this high so everybody could see 705 00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,000 Through the window thing we were all just standing there like looking around 706 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:54,000 So on the ground they're on the ground? 707 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:59,000 Yes they were on the ground we were on the top and we were just like she was like okay cool and then I was like what next? 708 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:02,000 This was like a magical moment in a Hallmark movie 709 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:03,000 This is weird as fuck 710 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:04,000 I can't talk in the bro 711 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,000 I can't believe it happened 712 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:07,000 This was like an 824 film 713 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:12,000 I know man it did it did that's what happened I'm being honest 714 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:16,000 Brandon that's wild and he's never told us anything happened 715 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,000 Okay so what happened in 2014? 716 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:25,000 In 2014 that was that was that year oh shit yeah 2014 that was just a year I remember because that was when I was a child 717 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:32,000 And everybody was still there nobody died everybody was still alive it was a good year 718 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:35,000 I don't even want to ask the follow up question 719 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:40,000 That was a good year though everybody was there I was just fat and chubby chilling 720 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:45,000 Yeah that that's the year I can't say nothing else about it but it's a year 721 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:51,000 It wasn't the best it was like it was a good year but socially not a good year 722 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:55,000 That's what it was like I was fat 723 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,000 Don't even know let's go 724 00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:05,000 I can't say anymore about it it was a good year 725 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:12,000 Yeah that's all I can be like it was a good like I can't say the social life was popping and shit I was just a kid chilling 726 00:25:12,000 --> 00:25:18,000 I mean I remember I did have this dude at the wines I think this was the same year this dude was at the wine say 727 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:23,000 Stopping on the ground because I was fat trying to mimic me and I got pissed off and started arguing with him at the wines 728 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:29,000 Yeah and then they called my mom and they were like dude you can't do that man forget that dude I will kill him at this Christian place 729 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:33,000 I don't care they just dragged me out and shit 730 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:34,000 Brandy went crazy 731 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,000 Yeah man that was fucking crazy 732 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:43,000 So you got a little temper and you know you're always the nicest guy but I know you got a little switch right 733 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:44,000 Yeah 734 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:50,000 So whenever sci-fi bucks up to you and we have this wrestler match you gonna fuck his ass up right 735 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:51,000 Look what they trying to do 736 00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:52,000 What? 737 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:53,000 They trying to get the beef 738 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:56,000 Yes I'm going to get it alright 739 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:57,000 Get what? 740 00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:58,000 The win 741 00:25:58,000 --> 00:25:59,000 Yeah look 742 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:00,000 Cause this is fucking 743 00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:01,000 Talk your shit 744 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:07,000 Yeah this is like wrestling man I'm like Ric Flair man I go in there and woo get the shit done you know what I mean 745 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:10,000 Say sci-fi gave us this cause you're fucking Hercules 746 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:14,000 Yeah he was like I know the Hercules and I was here 747 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:18,000 And I want to tell the people out there sci-fi is scared 748 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,000 He's shaking in his boots 749 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,000 He's scared to wrestle Brandon 750 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:25,000 He doesn't want to get his ass beat on camera 751 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:32,000 Which is crazy cause sci-fi he said I don't want to ever say Brandon can beat me in anything 752 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:35,000 And I know he probably will in wrestling so he's scared 753 00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:36,000 Yeah 754 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,000 So hey Brandon take his ass down 755 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:43,000 Hey man and dude it's okay to lose on TV dude I fucking lost on TV man why I had that wrestling match 756 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:44,000 Oh we never posted that 757 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:46,000 No that's the funniest fucking thing ever 758 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:47,000 Can we post that? 759 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:51,000 Fuck it man yeah and if y'all want to see another one I'll show y'all the one 760 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,000 So give context to what this clip is 761 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:58,000 Okay so this was when I first started wrestling and I didn't know shit man 762 00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,000 I didn't know how to do anything I was very weak 763 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:04,000 It was so bad that the team was like we just going to throw him up and try to whip this kid's ass or something 764 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:05,000 We got to get him good 765 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:10,000 And then like at the last match of the year it was on TV 766 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:12,000 It was a regionals championship 767 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:18,000 And I was like so bad at the time that I would literally go up to people and be like hey man I'm brand new this is my first day 768 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:20,000 Please don't whip my ass 769 00:27:20,000 --> 00:27:26,000 And then the coaches would laugh at me the referee would be laughing they'd be like Brandon you can't be doing that shit 770 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:30,000 But it's my first like year they put me on TV with these varsity dudes 771 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:34,000 And this dude shakes my hand and beats my ass so bad 772 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:39,000 That the fucking announcers are literally laughing saying what the fuck is he doing coach? 773 00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:41,000 It looks like they're dancing 774 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:44,000 And then I even kicked at him a little bit it was bad 775 00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:49,000 And shit it was so bad I left and my coach was like you should fucking quit 776 00:27:49,000 --> 00:27:51,000 I was like hell no 777 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:54,000 Then I came back and whooped ass and they were like you should come back 778 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:56,000 I was like no 779 00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,000 Yeah man it's fucking crazy 780 00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,000 But yeah that's what that video is about man 781 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:02,000 And the video will be inserted 782 00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:12,000 Oh my fuck 783 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,000 I'm too honest when I take a few shots 784 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:37,000 They're too toxic need to take a new shot 785 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:40,000 And you cannot save me 786 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:43,000 Cause I don't need saving 787 00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:46,000 The second thing I've been chasing 788 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:49,000 All here's where they're taking 789 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:52,000 Don't wanna test your luck with me 790 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:55,000 I think I've had enough disease 791 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:58,000 I'm sick of all the bad thoughts people who are half done 792 00:28:58,000 --> 00:29:00,000 You are not as tough as me 793 00:29:00,000 --> 00:29:06,000 So they just watched the video 794 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:08,000 Fuck man 795 00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:10,000 One day I'm gonna show you all the good shit 796 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:14,000 You all saw the beginning of the storm you didn't see the rain 797 00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:16,000 They didn't say what he's about now 798 00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,000 Show off your skills against sci-fi dude 799 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,000 He's been talking shit dude 800 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,000 What's your move? 801 00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:24,000 You know what's funny? 802 00:29:24,000 --> 00:29:26,000 This is how you know I was about to be a comedian 803 00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:29,000 My signature move was the fat man roll 804 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,000 Okay yeah 805 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:33,000 You remember every time I get him I do that roll 806 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:35,000 Hit him with the grammy 807 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:37,000 Yup 808 00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:39,000 Do the full roll we go together 809 00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:42,000 That was my shit too 810 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:44,000 My coach he was an old marine 811 00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:46,000 Big dick carpenter 812 00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:48,000 That's how we called him 813 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:50,000 He always wore these big dick carps 814 00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:52,000 He wore these short ass shorts 815 00:29:52,000 --> 00:29:54,000 And his dick would just hit the mat like 816 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,000 Oh my fucking god 817 00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:59,000 He was 70 years old he's still around 818 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,000 Coach, little coach 819 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,000 He would get mad at me because I didn't know moves 820 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,000 I didn't know moves alright 821 00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,000 What? 822 00:30:07,000 --> 00:30:12,000 We can't just skip past the fact that you're talking about this elderly man's cock flopping on the fucking wrestling mat 823 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,000 Old people don't wear underwear and give a shit 824 00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:18,000 Yeah but they shouldn't be working with children 825 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:21,000 Correct me if I'm wrong 826 00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:24,000 They shouldn't be touching on kids after school 827 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:26,000 They don't got no underwear on them 828 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,000 Coach is the best dude in the world 829 00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:30,000 Don't you talk about big dick carpenter like that 830 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,000 He got molested too Brandon 831 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:34,000 His dick didn't really hit the mat 832 00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,000 We always used to say big dick 833 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,000 But he used to wear the shorter shorts 834 00:30:38,000 --> 00:30:40,000 And he was an old marine 835 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:42,000 So he would come in there with the short shorts and a sweater 836 00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:44,000 I didn't know moves 837 00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:46,000 I was just good because I was strong enough to slam him 838 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,000 And he would always be like god damn it carp 839 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:50,000 Hit him with the grammy 840 00:30:50,000 --> 00:30:52,000 Hit him with the grammy god damn it 841 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,000 I remember when I got in trouble and I got arrested 842 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,000 He was like god damn you were out there with these thugs 843 00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:58,000 He was like you're gonna get stabbed one day 844 00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,000 Damn 845 00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:02,000 Not if I hit him with the grammy 846 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,000 Not if I get the grammy baby 847 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:06,000 Hit him with the grammy god damn it 848 00:31:06,000 --> 00:31:08,000 Wrestling was fun though 849 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,000 I couldn't do it no more and I'd be tired of sitting 850 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,000 I miss it 851 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:14,000 Old people go and do jiu jitsu and all that shit 852 00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,000 If Jay can do it you can do it man 853 00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,000 I don't want to though 854 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,000 Even when I was wrestling I wouldn't roll it on the ground 855 00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,000 I slam get back up 856 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:24,000 The only way I'm gonna pin you 857 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:26,000 Is if I slam you and I just pin you 858 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:28,000 Right there 859 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:30,000 Maybe if I hit you with a grammy or something like that 860 00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:32,000 But mostly I'm just slamming the shit out of you 861 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,000 And then you get beat like that 862 00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,000 I don't know dude 863 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,000 I never did wrestling or fighting 864 00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:40,000 Or any of that shit 865 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:42,000 I was more of a baseball 866 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,000 But I would consider myself a world class 867 00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:46,000 Basketball player 868 00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:48,000 Oh dude we gotta do this basketball 869 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,000 Is defensive monster dude 870 00:31:50,000 --> 00:31:52,000 I can see you being good at basketball 871 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:54,000 You too 872 00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:56,000 Versus me and Jake Muncie 873 00:31:56,000 --> 00:31:58,000 Oh easy 874 00:31:58,000 --> 00:32:00,000 Fuck y'all like 875 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,000 You crazy 876 00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,000 With basketball that should be something definitely 877 00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,000 Well you gonna be scoring all the points 878 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:08,000 But I'll get all the rebounds y'all can't rebound over me 879 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:10,000 We gotta do this 880 00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:12,000 What if Jake has insane hops 881 00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,000 What if he 882 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:16,000 He barely has knees dude 883 00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:18,000 He has no cartilage in his body 884 00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:20,000 Just bone on bone 885 00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:22,000 He just had his pelvic floor surgery 886 00:32:22,000 --> 00:32:24,000 He's getting no torque dude 887 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:26,000 He's out of commission 888 00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:28,000 Did Jake tell you who was good at basketball or something? 889 00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:30,000 Oh no I was just like I'll pick a teammate 890 00:32:30,000 --> 00:32:32,000 Why would you pick somebody who 891 00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,000 He's good at basketball I'm not good 892 00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:36,000 I'm good too 893 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,000 Oh so you're good 894 00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,000 Yeah dude I've been playing since I was a kid 895 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,000 That's how I lost the weight 896 00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:44,000 You should get Bryce Fletcher 897 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,000 He plays basketball Does he? 898 00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,000 Well then if he's good that's a mismatch thing 899 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,000 Cause I'm not good but I can set the shit out of some screens 900 00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:52,000 We'll figure it out 901 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:54,000 Yeah but that's why he can dribble it and he'll pass it to me 902 00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:56,000 And I'll do the shots 903 00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:58,000 We should play 3 on 3 against 3 of the other comedians 904 00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:00,000 3 on 3 basketball games 905 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:02,000 Oh hell yeah 906 00:33:02,000 --> 00:33:04,000 Clown College versus you know whatever they 907 00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,000 Whatever that group of 908 00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,000 In what? 909 00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:10,000 What? 910 00:33:10,000 --> 00:33:12,000 Group of what? 911 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:14,000 Who? 912 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:18,000 Okay it doesn't start like that 913 00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:20,000 Dude 914 00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:22,000 I was going to say inbreds 915 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:24,000 But then it doesn't work cause I look more inbred 916 00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:26,000 Than they would 917 00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:28,000 Then it sounds real racist 918 00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,000 That's a good group 919 00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:34,000 I thought you said in 920 00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:36,000 I thought too 921 00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:38,000 Oh I guess inbred 922 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,000 You should 923 00:33:40,000 --> 00:33:42,000 You should stop it 924 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,000 What if I was going to say it phonetically 925 00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,000 It wouldn't sound like that 926 00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:48,000 What? 927 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:50,000 If you were to say the n word you wouldn't say 928 00:33:50,000 --> 00:33:52,000 N Oh yeah yeah 929 00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:54,000 Yeah you right 930 00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:56,000 But you don't pronounce 931 00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:58,000 N as in 932 00:33:58,000 --> 00:34:00,000 Yeah you got shame on you guys 933 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,000 You're in black history month dude 934 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:04,000 Nitro 935 00:34:04,000 --> 00:34:06,000 Nitro 936 00:34:06,000 --> 00:34:08,000 I was saying nitro instead of saying the word 937 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,000 Oh 938 00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:12,000 What do you mean? 939 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,000 Instead of saying what? 940 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,000 I know I can say it but fuck it 941 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:18,000 Oh you're saying nitro is a substitute for nigga? 942 00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,000 Yeah I could be like it's nitro 943 00:34:20,000 --> 00:34:22,000 Not nigga 944 00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,000 Is that the white version? 945 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:26,000 Nitro? 946 00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:28,000 I have never heard that before 947 00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:30,000 Did you just make that up right now? 948 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:32,000 That's not something people say 949 00:34:32,000 --> 00:34:34,000 I was like 950 00:34:34,000 --> 00:34:36,000 Look at this nitro dude 951 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:40,000 The reason is because like dude every time I say it on TikTok they literally take the sound off 952 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,000 So I be like what the fuck 953 00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:44,000 I be like why the fuck would they take the sound 954 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,000 Do I sound weird saying what the fuck? 955 00:34:46,000 --> 00:34:48,000 That's what I be like 956 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,000 They just have an AI voice detector they think he's a white dude 957 00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,000 They're like oh hell nah man 958 00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:54,000 And then one time I 959 00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:56,000 Dude I said is this what I said 960 00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:58,000 So I looked at my comment 961 00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:00,000 And I did one video I was like man this nigga is crazy 962 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:02,000 And as soon as I said that somebody said 963 00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:04,000 I hear a little Uncle Ruckus in that tone 964 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,000 I was like fuck no man I'm done 965 00:35:06,000 --> 00:35:08,000 That's fucked up 966 00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:10,000 No man 967 00:35:10,000 --> 00:35:12,000 No 968 00:35:12,000 --> 00:35:14,000 You don't like blacks? 969 00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:16,000 No man fuck Uncle Ruckus 970 00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:18,000 Man I get a fucking broomstick 971 00:35:18,000 --> 00:35:20,000 Those are the worst kind of black people 972 00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:22,000 Uncle Ruckus type 973 00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:24,000 Coons 974 00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:26,000 Like Uncle Tom 975 00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,000 Man I hate that shit 976 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,000 I remember when we were in 977 00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:32,000 We were in Afghanistan 978 00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:34,000 I remember my first sergeant I was his driver 979 00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:36,000 And we pull up 980 00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:38,000 He's talking to this other black 981 00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,000 He was a first sergeant it was like a 982 00:35:40,000 --> 00:35:42,000 E7 Sergeant First Class 983 00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:44,000 He's like hey what's up Jill how you doing 984 00:35:44,000 --> 00:35:46,000 They just talking they shake heads 985 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:48,000 Rolls the window up as soon as we drive out 986 00:35:48,000 --> 00:35:50,000 As soon as we drive out he says coon ass nigga 987 00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,000 I was like 988 00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:54,000 Y'all was just shaking heads 989 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:56,000 I'm like that little Tom motherfucker 990 00:35:56,000 --> 00:35:58,000 Yeah I got a 991 00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:00,000 I got a black friend who 992 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,000 Hates black people man 993 00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,000 Always has 994 00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:06,000 Ever since I've known him 995 00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,000 He hates black people dude 996 00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:10,000 And he has the blackest name 997 00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,000 I'll say his middle name 998 00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:14,000 His middle name is Varkith 999 00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:16,000 Oh god 1000 00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:18,000 That's one I ain't never heard 1001 00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:20,000 Varkith 1002 00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:22,000 They made that up 1003 00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,000 There's no lineage with that 1004 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,000 They made that shit the fuck up 1005 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:28,000 Varkith 1006 00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:30,000 You heard one like that? 1007 00:36:30,000 --> 00:36:32,000 No this is brand new to me 1008 00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,000 Sound off the spot 1009 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,000 I don't see a lot of 1010 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:38,000 People with V names at least men 1011 00:36:38,000 --> 00:36:40,000 It's a man's name that starts with a V 1012 00:36:40,000 --> 00:36:42,000 I don't know if it's any good or less 1013 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,000 Victor 1014 00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:46,000 He proved me wrong 1015 00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,000 Valentine 1016 00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,000 Fuck it 1017 00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:52,000 Valentine 1018 00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:54,000 Vincent 1019 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,000 Vincetti 1020 00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:58,000 Ventura 1021 00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:00,000 There you go 1022 00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:02,000 That doesn't count 1023 00:37:02,000 --> 00:37:04,000 What? Vincetti that doesn't count? 1024 00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:06,000 I don't even know what that is. Is that a real person? 1025 00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:08,000 No that's definitely somebody's name 1026 00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,000 Vincetti? Yeah Vincetti 1027 00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:12,000 That might be Italian 1028 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:14,000 That's a last name 1029 00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:16,000 Yeah that's a name 1030 00:37:16,000 --> 00:37:18,000 I don't even know if it's real 1031 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:20,000 Venus 1032 00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,000 Venus is a girl's name 1033 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,000 Oh no I almost said 1034 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,000 Valerie 1035 00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:28,000 Val Venus 1036 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,000 Val Venus 1037 00:37:30,000 --> 00:37:32,000 He did cut off by 1038 00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:34,000 Samurai Sword 1039 00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:36,000 You remember that? 1040 00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:38,000 WWF right? 1041 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:40,000 I think that was when he was in WCW 1042 00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:42,000 Hello 1043 00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,000 Ladies 1044 00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,000 He came out in a towel 1045 00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:48,000 And then the Asian dude chopped off his 1046 00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:50,000 On camera 1047 00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:52,000 Not real 1048 00:37:52,000 --> 00:37:54,000 Man 90's wrestling 1049 00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,000 We talking about 90's late 90's 1050 00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:58,000 Attitude era? Fuck yeah man 1051 00:37:58,000 --> 00:38:00,000 The best fucking year in wrestling history 1052 00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:02,000 Other than the golden era 1053 00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:04,000 Early 90's late 80's 1054 00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:06,000 Ok so I didn't watch back then 1055 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:08,000 I was only from like 1056 00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:10,000 Right before The Rock got there 1057 00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:12,000 That's when I started. Stone Cold 1058 00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:14,000 And The Rock was my shit. If you would have told me 1059 00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,000 In 4th grade that wrestling wasn't 1060 00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:18,000 Real we were fighting. And there's not a 1061 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:20,000 Doubt about that. Like what the fuck you talking about 1062 00:38:20,000 --> 00:38:22,000 Did you see that stunner? 1063 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:24,000 Did you see that Stone Cold stunner? 1064 00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:26,000 That's the illest thing I've ever seen in my life 1065 00:38:26,000 --> 00:38:28,000 Respect 1066 00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:30,000 Stone Cold? Man I got it back here 1067 00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:32,000 Cause Stone Cold sucks 1068 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:34,000 Brandon top 3 wrestlers 1069 00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:36,000 Ooh 1070 00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:38,000 Top 3 top 3 1071 00:38:38,000 --> 00:38:40,000 Man you got me in the tough spot now man 1072 00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:42,000 Top 5 1073 00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:44,000 Don't have to be in any particular order 1074 00:38:44,000 --> 00:38:46,000 Jake The Snake Roberts 1075 00:38:46,000 --> 00:38:48,000 Ultimate Warrior 1076 00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:50,000 Stone Cold Steve Austin 1077 00:38:50,000 --> 00:38:52,000 Damn 1078 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,000 Who else would it be? 1079 00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,000 Rick Rude 1080 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,000 Hell yeah that's one of my favorite 1081 00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:00,000 Favourites man and then the 1082 00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:02,000 Final one I'm gonna 1083 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,000 Have to say probably Macho Man 1084 00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:06,000 Randy Savage 1085 00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:08,000 Yeah style. Really good style 1086 00:39:08,000 --> 00:39:10,000 Did you ever watch wrestling? 1087 00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:12,000 I know about it yeah. I know more 1088 00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:14,000 About the older stuff though 1089 00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:16,000 Which year? 80's or 70's? 1090 00:39:16,000 --> 00:39:18,000 Top 3? Shit let me think dude 1091 00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:20,000 Ray Mysterio 1092 00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,000 Love Ray Mysterio 1093 00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:26,000 Brock Lesnar cause he would just come in 1094 00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:28,000 And fuck people up 1095 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,000 And then I'll go with 1096 00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,000 Sean Michaels 1097 00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:34,000 Okay yeah yeah 1098 00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:36,000 Sean Michaels is sick dude 1099 00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:38,000 Trouble maker backstage too. Good dude 1100 00:39:38,000 --> 00:39:40,000 When you bring all that 1101 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,000 Value to the company you can wild 1102 00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:44,000 The fuck out dude. Yeah see what CM Punk's 1103 00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:46,000 Doing right now 1104 00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:48,000 Man dude he got kicked out of 1105 00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:50,000 AEW for fighting 1106 00:39:50,000 --> 00:39:52,000 This dude backstage and beating 1107 00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:54,000 Him up which is crazy because you've seen 1108 00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:56,000 The UFC fights but once they kick him out from 1109 00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:58,000 There WWE picked him right back up and they're like 1110 00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:00,000 We got you bro. It's alright. We gonna hook 1111 00:40:00,000 --> 00:40:02,000 You up. Fuck AEW. They actin like 1112 00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:04,000 Bitches. Come on over here 1113 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,000 So that's what they did 1114 00:40:06,000 --> 00:40:08,000 They brought him over there and then he 1115 00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:10,000 Did something to his shoulder and now he 1116 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,000 Fucked up for a little bit 1117 00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:14,000 Damn dude 1118 00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:16,000 I don't know who we're talking about 1119 00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:18,000 CM Punk. That's the little bit 1120 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,000 I mean I've heard of him but I've never 1121 00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,000 Seen anything else way after 1122 00:40:22,000 --> 00:40:24,000 I thought that was DX too. No he 1123 00:40:24,000 --> 00:40:26,000 Did that shit too. He did that for the 1124 00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:28,000 2013 cover of WWE 13 1125 00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:32,000 2K13? Yes man 1126 00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:34,000 No no no it wasn't 2K 1127 00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:36,000 It wasn't 2K yet it was just WWE 13 1128 00:40:36,000 --> 00:40:38,000 Cause THQ had it at that 1129 00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:40,000 Time 1130 00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:42,000 He's going crazy with this 1131 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,000 Yeah he just got excited 1132 00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:46,000 This is the one where Mike Tyson was in that episode 1133 00:40:46,000 --> 00:40:48,000 He was going deep in his bag on this one 1134 00:40:48,000 --> 00:40:50,000 Fuck yeah man. Hell yeah 1135 00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:52,000 What's the best WWE 1136 00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,000 Video game? The best wrestling 1137 00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:56,000 Video game of all time I would have to say 1138 00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:58,000 Man you put me in another tough spot 1139 00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,000 But fuck it 1140 00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,000 WWE 2011 that was the best 1141 00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:04,000 You had the backstage singing 1142 00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:06,000 Who was on the cover? Who was on the cover 1143 00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:08,000 You had Jax Swagger, you had John Cena 1144 00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:10,000 And then I think you also had 1145 00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:12,000 Rey Mysterio possibly 1146 00:41:12,000 --> 00:41:14,000 I could be wrong but I know them 1147 00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,000 And the Big Show. Big Show was definitely 1148 00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:18,000 Well it's the Big Show 1149 00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:20,000 Hell fucking yeah 1150 00:41:20,000 --> 00:41:22,000 It's the Big Bad Show tonight 1151 00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,000 Is it when the Big Show got slammed 1152 00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:26,000 The whole fucking ring fell apart 1153 00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:28,000 Wait was this when he was bald 1154 00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:30,000 Or had hair? This was old school 1155 00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:32,000 Big Show but I think he was bald 1156 00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:34,000 Was he bald? 1157 00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:36,000 I don't remember when that happened 1158 00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:38,000 I remember talking about the giant when he was the giant 1159 00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:40,000 Yeah that's Nitro WCW 1160 00:41:40,000 --> 00:41:42,000 Long hair, Joe Swanson style 1161 00:41:42,000 --> 00:41:44,000 When he was young 1162 00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:46,000 Do you know who Joe Swanson is? Family Guy 1163 00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:48,000 You mean when he was young with the wheelchair walking around 1164 00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:50,000 Yeah yeah 1165 00:41:50,000 --> 00:41:52,000 Me and names man 1166 00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,000 Dude 1167 00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:56,000 You and the English language 1168 00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:58,000 Us both man you see my list 1169 00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:00,000 And that shit 1170 00:42:00,000 --> 00:42:02,000 I got 1171 00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:04,000 Two people's names wrong and I probably still 1172 00:42:04,000 --> 00:42:06,000 David Freelander 1173 00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:08,000 What did you call him? I said David Freelander 1174 00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:10,000 Freelander 1175 00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:12,000 But I stopped at Land 1176 00:42:12,000 --> 00:42:14,000 I don't know why I was practicing too 1177 00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:16,000 I even asked him it's Freelander 1178 00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:18,000 I asked Safa and Safa I was like yeah that's it 1179 00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:20,000 But the one I got wrong 1180 00:42:20,000 --> 00:42:22,000 You asked me too 1181 00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:24,000 Matthew Lambert 1182 00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:26,000 I just said it wrong 1183 00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:28,000 Lumbra 1184 00:42:28,000 --> 00:42:30,000 Lambert 1185 00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,000 I think that's how I wrote it 1186 00:42:32,000 --> 00:42:34,000 Clearly Lumbra 1187 00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:36,000 Clearly 1188 00:42:36,000 --> 00:42:38,000 Lumbra 1189 00:42:38,000 --> 00:42:40,000 Lumbra 1190 00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:42,000 What is that from? 1191 00:42:42,000 --> 00:42:44,000 I don't know 1192 00:42:44,000 --> 00:42:46,000 Game of Thrones 1193 00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:48,000 No I've never heard 1194 00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:50,000 Lumbra 1195 00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:52,000 Last name Lumbra 1196 00:42:52,000 --> 00:42:54,000 I don't fucking know 1197 00:42:54,000 --> 00:42:56,000 He's on the right track 1198 00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:58,000 No I don't know 1199 00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:00,000 Maybe it's Eastern European 1200 00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:02,000 It doesn't sound like it then 1201 00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:04,000 I can't put a pin on where it's at 1202 00:43:04,000 --> 00:43:06,000 West African 1203 00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:08,000 We'll have to ask him when he comes on 1204 00:43:08,000 --> 00:43:10,000 I'll say this with the names man 1205 00:43:10,000 --> 00:43:12,000 I gotta stay out of this one I can't even say Roscoe 1206 00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:14,000 or Nathan Wright 1207 00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:16,000 You always got Roscoe right you couldn't say 1208 00:43:16,000 --> 00:43:18,000 Clyde Elroy 1209 00:43:18,000 --> 00:43:20,000 Clyde Elroy 1210 00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:22,000 We end up changing it to Elroy to make it 1211 00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:24,000 Throughout the whole thing we're saying Elroy 1212 00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:26,000 in the first one 1213 00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:28,000 The name is different almost every time 1214 00:43:28,000 --> 00:43:30,000 Like a snowflake 1215 00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:32,000 Like a box of chocolates you never know what you're going to get 1216 00:43:32,000 --> 00:43:34,000 Forest Gump 1217 00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:36,000 Forest Gump yeah 1218 00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:38,000 That's the guy 1219 00:43:38,000 --> 00:43:40,000 Forest Gump 1220 00:43:40,000 --> 00:43:42,000 You got a fucking funny dude 1221 00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:46,000 Did you drink before we got here? 1222 00:43:46,000 --> 00:43:48,000 I liked that dude that was funny 1223 00:43:48,000 --> 00:43:50,000 Y'all are fucking gonna be laughing boy 1224 00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:54,000 Damn yeah that was it 1225 00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:56,000 Did you hear how he ended his set last night at 1226 00:43:56,000 --> 00:43:58,000 Shag Nasty's 1227 00:43:58,000 --> 00:44:00,000 Where he's like that's it 1228 00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:02,000 Goodbye 1229 00:44:02,000 --> 00:44:04,000 I don't know why 1230 00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:06,000 I actually do it because I 1231 00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:08,000 Glanced at the light and I was like 1232 00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:10,000 That's it 1233 00:44:10,000 --> 00:44:12,000 Can you imagine Brandon hosting 1234 00:44:12,000 --> 00:44:14,000 He'd be like 1235 00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:16,000 We're about to start 1236 00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:18,000 First comic David Friedlander 1237 00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:20,000 David Friedlander 1238 00:44:20,000 --> 00:44:22,000 Hell yeah 1239 00:44:22,000 --> 00:44:24,000 I would love to see you host 1240 00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:26,000 Is it the pleasure scene sometimes? 1241 00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:28,000 What? 1242 00:44:28,000 --> 00:44:30,000 He said imagine you hosting 1243 00:44:30,000 --> 00:44:32,000 I thought he was talking about me hosting 1244 00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:34,000 I was like shit I'll always host something 1245 00:44:34,000 --> 00:44:36,000 I'd be like hey y'all we got 1246 00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:38,000 You just going up there talking 1247 00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:40,000 Would be like in the beginning 1248 00:44:40,000 --> 00:44:42,000 Just talk to the audience 1249 00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:44,000 Just like you're talking to us right now 1250 00:44:44,000 --> 00:44:46,000 And everybody's gonna love it 1251 00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:48,000 And then 1252 00:44:48,000 --> 00:44:50,000 How y'all doing 1253 00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:52,000 Alright next guy 1254 00:44:52,000 --> 00:44:54,000 Then I call him up be like good joke 1255 00:44:54,000 --> 00:44:56,000 Next guy good joke 1256 00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,000 Say something say something get him out 1257 00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:00,000 I'm doing 1258 00:45:00,000 --> 00:45:02,000 You do a little 1259 00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:04,000 Roast sometimes though too 1260 00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:06,000 I'm doing everybody if I'm on there 1261 00:45:06,000 --> 00:45:08,000 I'm writing a new roast every week 1262 00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:10,000 I like it 1263 00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:12,000 Plus you can keep some of them 1264 00:45:12,000 --> 00:45:14,000 You know what I'm saying when we have a roast 1265 00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:16,000 We can go out all around town 1266 00:45:16,000 --> 00:45:18,000 Try them out see which one gets the pop 1267 00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:20,000 Kill people 1268 00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:22,000 You ever kill somebody Brandon? 1269 00:45:22,000 --> 00:45:24,000 No 1270 00:45:24,000 --> 00:45:26,000 Never did that 1271 00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:28,000 He thought about it though 1272 00:45:28,000 --> 00:45:30,000 But it's still time 1273 00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:32,000 No but no 1274 00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:34,000 Not for long 1275 00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:36,000 Brandon's 21st birthday is coming up 1276 00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:38,000 And we're doing an extravaganza 1277 00:45:38,000 --> 00:45:40,000 We're gonna record some footage 1278 00:45:40,000 --> 00:45:42,000 For the podcast 1279 00:45:42,000 --> 00:45:44,000 We're coherent enough too 1280 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:46,000 It's on a Friday 1281 00:45:46,000 --> 00:45:48,000 We should get Jack's GoPro 1282 00:45:48,000 --> 00:45:50,000 And strap it to Brandon's chest dude 1283 00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:52,000 Well no 1284 00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:54,000 Strap to one of our chests so we can see Brandon 1285 00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:56,000 I'll wear it 1286 00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:58,000 If we can get two of them 1287 00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:00,000 I kinda don't want to be 1288 00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:02,000 The weird guy 1289 00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:04,000 You're gonna be the weird guy anyway if you got one 1290 00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:06,000 Got one what? 1291 00:46:06,000 --> 00:46:08,000 If you have a GoPro strapped to your chest 1292 00:46:08,000 --> 00:46:10,000 Yeah and I'm going into the club I'm like this is not 1293 00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:12,000 Record women I swear to you 1294 00:46:12,000 --> 00:46:14,000 I'm just trying to see my friends 1295 00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,000 It's my friends birthday 1296 00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:18,000 What if you got drunk at Chuck E Cheese 1297 00:46:18,000 --> 00:46:20,000 They sell beer 1298 00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:22,000 They sell beer at Chuck E Cheese 1299 00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:24,000 You just see me playing all the games 1300 00:46:24,000 --> 00:46:26,000 Jumping on shit hey 1301 00:46:26,000 --> 00:46:28,000 I'd be scared to go next to the 1302 00:46:28,000 --> 00:46:30,000 Animatronics 1303 00:46:30,000 --> 00:46:32,000 This shit is scary dude 1304 00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:34,000 I still haven't watched Five Nights at Freddy's 1305 00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:36,000 Dude you can watch it 1306 00:46:36,000 --> 00:46:38,000 You gotta watch it 1307 00:46:38,000 --> 00:46:40,000 That's what I introduced Dante 1308 00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:42,000 As yesterday 1309 00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:44,000 I was like the animatronic bear 1310 00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:46,000 Itself 1311 00:46:46,000 --> 00:46:48,000 He looks just like that 1312 00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:50,000 I went and watched a horror movie not that long ago 1313 00:46:50,000 --> 00:46:52,000 Night Swim 1314 00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:54,000 It's about a haunted swimming pool 1315 00:46:54,000 --> 00:46:56,000 And it's like 1316 00:46:56,000 --> 00:46:58,000 Serious 1317 00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:00,000 But the movie sucks 1318 00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:02,000 Yeah the movie's terrible 1319 00:47:02,000 --> 00:47:04,000 The swimming pool sucks you in when you're trying to swim or some shit like that 1320 00:47:04,000 --> 00:47:06,000 The water is haunted 1321 00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:08,000 I see 1322 00:47:08,000 --> 00:47:10,000 You guys believe in ghosts? 1323 00:47:10,000 --> 00:47:12,000 Dude 1324 00:47:12,000 --> 00:47:14,000 You do? Yeah I mean to an extent 1325 00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:16,000 It depends 1326 00:47:16,000 --> 00:47:18,000 They'll say that we're not promoting Night Swim 1327 00:47:18,000 --> 00:47:20,000 We just said it was shit 1328 00:47:20,000 --> 00:47:22,000 This movie was ass 1329 00:47:22,000 --> 00:47:24,000 Dude 1330 00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:26,000 Yo have y'all ever seen 1331 00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:28,000 CGI Gator 1332 00:47:28,000 --> 00:47:30,000 It's like 1333 00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:32,000 I think they did it on purpose 1334 00:47:32,000 --> 00:47:34,000 But it's like a flying around CGI graphic 1335 00:47:34,000 --> 00:47:36,000 Gator 1336 00:47:36,000 --> 00:47:38,000 It looks terrible 1337 00:47:38,000 --> 00:47:40,000 And they in high school screaming 1338 00:47:40,000 --> 00:47:42,000 Getting eaten up by this thing 1339 00:47:42,000 --> 00:47:44,000 And they're like oh shit 1340 00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:46,000 And they're like what's out the fucking window 1341 00:47:46,000 --> 00:47:48,000 And it's him just floating in the air like this 1342 00:47:48,000 --> 00:47:50,000 And they're just freaking out 1343 00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:52,000 I've only seen the trailer 1344 00:47:52,000 --> 00:47:54,000 I haven't fully watched it 1345 00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:56,000 It might not even be a real movie 1346 00:47:56,000 --> 00:47:58,000 No no no 1347 00:47:58,000 --> 00:48:00,000 No this is real 1348 00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:02,000 Let me see 1349 00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:04,000 CGI Gator 1350 00:48:04,000 --> 00:48:06,000 He says that is so good I haven't seen it 1351 00:48:06,000 --> 00:48:08,000 See look at that 1352 00:48:08,000 --> 00:48:10,000 That is it 1353 00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:12,000 That looks so realistic dude 1354 00:48:12,000 --> 00:48:14,000 CGI 1355 00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:16,000 Oh my gosh man 1356 00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:18,000 I know man 1357 00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:20,000 It's terrifying 1358 00:48:20,000 --> 00:48:22,000 What is that? 1359 00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:24,000 That's it right there 1360 00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:26,000 That's the star of the show 1361 00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:28,000 That's the guy 1362 00:48:28,000 --> 00:48:30,000 The star of the show 1363 00:48:30,000 --> 00:48:32,000 You know this isn't the first time 1364 00:48:32,000 --> 00:48:34,000 I've heard him bring up this movie 1365 00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:36,000 You've never seen this? 1366 00:48:36,000 --> 00:48:38,000 You showed us the trailer I believe 1367 00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:40,000 I showed you the trailer you never seen the trailer 1368 00:48:40,000 --> 00:48:42,000 I'm good man 1369 00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:44,000 Listen now it's funny 1370 00:48:44,000 --> 00:48:46,000 It's crazy 1371 00:48:46,000 --> 00:48:48,000 This is like the sci-fi channel 1372 00:48:48,000 --> 00:48:50,000 The S Y F I F Y 1373 00:48:50,000 --> 00:48:52,000 It's like our early 2000's movie 1374 00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:54,000 In a way 1375 00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:56,000 They had better shit than that 1376 00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:58,000 Titanic came out in 97 1377 00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:00,000 Maybe in 74 1378 00:49:00,000 --> 00:49:02,000 No that's too far back 1379 00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:04,000 Going to 1380 00:49:04,000 --> 00:49:06,000 Late 90's 1381 00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:08,000 Like all 90's movies 1382 00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:10,000 Marathon that shit's good 1383 00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:12,000 I feel like they acted better in the 90's 1384 00:49:12,000 --> 00:49:14,000 It meant more 1385 00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:16,000 They were acting active 1386 00:49:16,000 --> 00:49:18,000 They were acting their ass off 1387 00:49:18,000 --> 00:49:20,000 These popular 1388 00:49:20,000 --> 00:49:22,000 The one I like 1389 00:49:22,000 --> 00:49:24,000 The new girl I like though 1390 00:49:24,000 --> 00:49:26,000 Mia Goth 1391 00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:28,000 I don't know who that is 1392 00:49:28,000 --> 00:49:30,000 She was on X 1393 00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:32,000 Some movie where she was killing people 1394 00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:34,000 I can't remember the name of it 1395 00:49:34,000 --> 00:49:36,000 I like Ryan Gosling 1396 00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:38,000 Her 1397 00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:40,000 Yeah 1398 00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:42,000 Ryan Gosling's that shit 1399 00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:44,000 He's a good actor 1400 00:49:44,000 --> 00:49:46,000 Go to the movies 1401 00:49:46,000 --> 00:49:48,000 Go to the web search 1402 00:49:48,000 --> 00:49:50,000 What does she do? 1403 00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:52,000 She's a beast if she's in a movie 1404 00:49:52,000 --> 00:49:54,000 I'm telling you she's acting her ass off 1405 00:49:54,000 --> 00:49:56,000 That movie Pearl was good as shit 1406 00:49:56,000 --> 00:49:58,000 I never seen 1407 00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:00,000 Infinity pool it was good 1408 00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:02,000 All her movies are really weird 1409 00:50:02,000 --> 00:50:04,000 The high life 1410 00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:06,000 I've never seen a survivalist 1411 00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:08,000 I might see that 1412 00:50:08,000 --> 00:50:10,000 I'm telling you watch Pearl 1413 00:50:10,000 --> 00:50:12,000 Pearl watch that one 1414 00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:14,000 Pearl and go back 1415 00:50:14,000 --> 00:50:16,000 Infinity pool was good 1416 00:50:16,000 --> 00:50:18,000 Crazy bitch 1417 00:50:18,000 --> 00:50:20,000 Oh man dude I've seen the trailers for Pearl 1418 00:50:20,000 --> 00:50:22,000 Look at that picture 1419 00:50:22,000 --> 00:50:24,000 She's smiling 1420 00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:26,000 Oh hell 1421 00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:28,000 That describes the movie 1422 00:50:28,000 --> 00:50:30,000 100% perfect 1423 00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:32,000 Is it a scary movie? 1424 00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:34,000 I wouldn't say scary 1425 00:50:34,000 --> 00:50:36,000 It's intense 1426 00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:38,000 Is that scary? 1427 00:50:38,000 --> 00:50:40,000 Is that a real person? 1428 00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:42,000 I think it is 1429 00:50:42,000 --> 00:50:44,000 It's a scarecrow 1430 00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:46,000 In the scarecrow suit 1431 00:50:46,000 --> 00:50:48,000 No it's just a scarecrow 1432 00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:50,000 She works out 1433 00:50:50,000 --> 00:50:52,000 She's a strong girl, country girl 1434 00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:54,000 And she wants to get out 1435 00:50:54,000 --> 00:50:56,000 So she meets some people 1436 00:50:56,000 --> 00:50:58,000 What's the name? Winter Soldier is in it 1437 00:50:58,000 --> 00:51:00,000 Sebastian Stan 1438 00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:02,000 You said who? 1439 00:51:02,000 --> 00:51:04,000 Winter Soldier 1440 00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:06,000 Oh shit hold on I know that guy 1441 00:51:06,000 --> 00:51:08,000 Sebastian Stan is that his name? 1442 00:51:08,000 --> 00:51:10,000 I think that actually is 1443 00:51:10,000 --> 00:51:12,000 He played a good role 1444 00:51:14,000 --> 00:51:16,000 You said Sebastian what? 1445 00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:18,000 Stan 1446 00:51:18,000 --> 00:51:20,000 The infinity pool is weird 1447 00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:22,000 It's like 1448 00:51:22,000 --> 00:51:24,000 I don't know if it's alternate 1449 00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:26,000 Universe or whatever but you go to this 1450 00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:28,000 Country and if you 1451 00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:34,000 If you kill somebody 1452 00:51:34,000 --> 00:51:36,000 Then their family gets to come in 1453 00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:38,000 And kill you 1454 00:51:38,000 --> 00:51:40,000 That's the 1455 00:51:40,000 --> 00:51:42,000 That's the rule there 1456 00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:44,000 So if you go to this country 1457 00:51:44,000 --> 00:51:46,000 On vacation you accidentally kill somebody 1458 00:51:46,000 --> 00:51:48,000 They kill you 1459 00:51:48,000 --> 00:51:50,000 But they have a thing where like 1460 00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:52,000 They say well we can clone you 1461 00:51:52,000 --> 00:51:54,000 And then we'll clone you 1462 00:51:54,000 --> 00:51:56,000 And then have the family so they get 1463 00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:58,000 The peace of mind kill the clone 1464 00:51:58,000 --> 00:52:00,000 And then you'll be alright 1465 00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:02,000 It's weird it's fucking 1466 00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:04,000 I thought it was good though 1467 00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:06,000 They clone you? 1468 00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:08,000 And then the family like you watch 1469 00:52:08,000 --> 00:52:10,000 The family kill you 1470 00:52:10,000 --> 00:52:12,000 Your clone of you 1471 00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:14,000 But really do you know which one 1472 00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:16,000 Is the fucking clone? 1473 00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:18,000 No 1474 00:52:18,000 --> 00:52:20,000 That's fucking crazy 1475 00:52:20,000 --> 00:52:22,000 Because they could trick them and be like oh it's actually me 1476 00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:24,000 Now they're fucked up 1477 00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:26,000 If it's a perfect clone 1478 00:52:26,000 --> 00:52:28,000 How do you know which one is which? 1479 00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:30,000 You think they're cloning people now? 1480 00:52:30,000 --> 00:52:32,000 You gotta ask them a question only they would know 1481 00:52:32,000 --> 00:52:34,000 They both know the same exact things 1482 00:52:34,000 --> 00:52:36,000 Nah 1483 00:52:36,000 --> 00:52:38,000 Nobody has the same soul 1484 00:52:38,000 --> 00:52:40,000 It's a clone 1485 00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:42,000 Soul 1486 00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:44,000 I don't believe in that shit 1487 00:52:44,000 --> 00:52:46,000 Just cause you can't pick up on these things 1488 00:52:46,000 --> 00:52:48,000 Dumb 1489 00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:50,000 Soul is good 1490 00:52:50,000 --> 00:52:52,000 Soul is good 1491 00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:54,000 Right on 1492 00:52:54,000 --> 00:52:56,000 So y'all believe in ghosts too and shit huh? 1493 00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:58,000 If you believe in aliens 1494 00:52:58,000 --> 00:53:00,000 Why not believe in ghosts? 1495 00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:02,000 Cause they're two totally different things 1496 00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:04,000 But you don't think there's something like 1497 00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:06,000 That kind of unexplainable 1498 00:53:06,000 --> 00:53:08,000 Paranormal activity and shit 1499 00:53:08,000 --> 00:53:10,000 You don't think there's not a single instance in history 1500 00:53:10,000 --> 00:53:12,000 I mean shit just happens though 1501 00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:14,000 The world is almost unexplainable 1502 00:53:14,000 --> 00:53:16,000 But I'm saying like 1503 00:53:16,000 --> 00:53:18,000 You're talking about some books knock off the shelf 1504 00:53:18,000 --> 00:53:20,000 Type shit 1505 00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:22,000 Oh you can't explain it 1506 00:53:22,000 --> 00:53:24,000 Yeah shifting foundation 1507 00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:26,000 I don't know what would be a better example 1508 00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:28,000 I don't know 1509 00:53:28,000 --> 00:53:30,000 Maybe like feeling somebody's presence in a room 1510 00:53:30,000 --> 00:53:32,000 Being like okay he's here 1511 00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:34,000 Like have you ever seen the movie Ghost? 1512 00:53:34,000 --> 00:53:36,000 What Patrick Swayze? 1513 00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:38,000 Like that 1514 00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:40,000 No 1515 00:53:40,000 --> 00:53:42,000 I don't think that's real 1516 00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:44,000 Ghosts are real my dog is named Ghost 1517 00:53:44,000 --> 00:53:46,000 Wait so what do you think about ghost hunters man? 1518 00:53:46,000 --> 00:53:48,000 What about the ghost hunters? 1519 00:53:48,000 --> 00:53:50,000 Have they ever found a ghost? 1520 00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:52,000 Yeah that's not real 1521 00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:54,000 They've never found one 1522 00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:56,000 This 1523 00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:58,000 Ghosts are real 1524 00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:00,000 Aliens I think are like 1525 00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:02,000 In the sense of like is there life on another planet 1526 00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:04,000 In this fucking infinite galaxy 1527 00:54:04,000 --> 00:54:06,000 Yeah probably 1528 00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:08,000 Is there any here like flying around? 1529 00:54:08,000 --> 00:54:10,000 No 1530 00:54:10,000 --> 00:54:12,000 That's some shit the military just doesn't want you to know 1531 00:54:12,000 --> 00:54:14,000 That we got or somebody else has 1532 00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:16,000 For sure 1533 00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:18,000 They're not just flying around here 1534 00:54:18,000 --> 00:54:20,000 No 1535 00:54:20,000 --> 00:54:22,000 Ghosts aren't real none of that shit is real 1536 00:54:22,000 --> 00:54:24,000 That's what Area 52 is for 1537 00:54:24,000 --> 00:54:26,000 That's 51 1538 00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:28,000 Area 52 is for ghosts 1539 00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:30,000 So you don't even know that 1540 00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:32,000 Because that's not real 1541 00:54:32,000 --> 00:54:34,000 He doesn't have a Reddit account 1542 00:54:34,000 --> 00:54:36,000 It's invisible 1543 00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:38,000 It's a ghost thing 1544 00:54:38,000 --> 00:54:40,000 It's a ghost thing 1545 00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:42,000 The spiritual realm is also infinite 1546 00:54:42,000 --> 00:54:44,000 Just like this physical reality that we live in 1547 00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:46,000 Spiritual realm is ever expansive 1548 00:54:46,000 --> 00:54:48,000 Never ending 1549 00:54:48,000 --> 00:54:50,000 There's a 50-50 chance 1550 00:54:50,000 --> 00:54:52,000 Oh man he's trying to get you on board again 1551 00:54:52,000 --> 00:54:54,000 That's it 1552 00:54:54,000 --> 00:54:56,000 He almost got you 1553 00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:58,000 No he didn't he almost got me 1554 00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:00,000 Alright thank you guys for tuning in 1555 00:55:00,000 --> 00:55:02,000 I appreciate you 1556 00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:04,000 We can't get enough of you 1557 00:55:04,000 --> 00:55:06,000 And we're going to have something special for you 1558 00:55:06,000 --> 00:55:08,000 Here in the near future 1559 00:55:08,000 --> 00:55:34,000 Peace