1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:03,400 This week on Clown College. 2 00:00:04,840 --> 00:00:07,340 And the old people, they struggle too during this ice. 3 00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:09,500 I bet you a lot of motherfuckers got hurt 4 00:00:09,500 --> 00:00:10,540 that were over 80. 5 00:00:10,540 --> 00:00:11,380 Oh yeah. 6 00:00:11,380 --> 00:00:12,200 Slipped on their ass. 7 00:00:12,200 --> 00:00:13,820 I'm glad you all right Dom. 8 00:00:13,820 --> 00:00:14,660 Shit man. 9 00:00:14,660 --> 00:00:15,480 Ah! 10 00:00:15,480 --> 00:00:16,320 Ah! 11 00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:17,160 Ah! 12 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:17,980 Ah! 13 00:00:17,980 --> 00:00:18,820 Ah! 14 00:00:18,820 --> 00:00:19,660 Hit the day! 15 00:00:19,660 --> 00:00:23,140 Oh shit, combination. 16 00:00:23,140 --> 00:00:27,900 I have a feeling that comedy duos are stronger than singles. 17 00:00:27,900 --> 00:00:28,740 Uh huh. 18 00:00:28,740 --> 00:00:31,020 I'm so surprised you guys didn't know each other. 19 00:00:31,020 --> 00:00:32,220 Uh huh, I didn't notice. 20 00:00:32,220 --> 00:00:35,940 So my origin, yeah, that's just crazy. 21 00:00:35,940 --> 00:00:36,780 I thought you- 22 00:00:36,780 --> 00:00:38,820 You're the first Indian person I've ever met. 23 00:00:38,820 --> 00:00:41,180 Oh shit, hold up. 24 00:00:41,180 --> 00:00:42,740 Never seen one before. 25 00:00:42,740 --> 00:00:43,740 There you go. 26 00:00:43,740 --> 00:00:44,580 Ah! 27 00:00:44,580 --> 00:00:45,420 Ah! 28 00:00:45,420 --> 00:00:46,240 Ah! 29 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:47,080 Fuck man. 30 00:00:47,080 --> 00:00:50,740 JJ walked up and said, do you have some curry? 31 00:00:50,740 --> 00:00:53,220 This is the Clown College podcast. 32 00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:54,820 We're just a couple open micers 33 00:00:54,820 --> 00:00:56,420 trying to make our way through the scene. 34 00:00:56,420 --> 00:00:58,860 Where we interview comedians throughout different stages 35 00:00:58,860 --> 00:00:59,980 of their comedy career, 36 00:00:59,980 --> 00:01:01,620 no matter if they're open micers, 37 00:01:01,620 --> 00:01:04,080 headliners, or traveling comedians. 38 00:01:04,080 --> 00:01:06,220 I'm here too, Jamie 2.0. 39 00:01:06,220 --> 00:01:07,740 I just talk a lot more. 40 00:01:07,740 --> 00:01:09,200 Damn it Brandon! 41 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:10,300 Go sit in the corner. 42 00:01:12,860 --> 00:01:13,700 Damn. 43 00:01:13,700 --> 00:01:14,540 Is that? 44 00:01:15,660 --> 00:01:17,100 So many wires man. 45 00:01:17,100 --> 00:01:17,940 Yeah. 46 00:01:17,940 --> 00:01:18,760 Hell yeah. 47 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:19,600 We're gonna get it cleaned up. 48 00:01:19,600 --> 00:01:20,620 We got real equipment though. 49 00:01:20,620 --> 00:01:21,580 Hell yeah. 50 00:01:21,580 --> 00:01:23,300 That's just proof dude. 51 00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:24,820 So I wanted to start off, 52 00:01:24,820 --> 00:01:26,460 it's a little on a sadder note, 53 00:01:26,460 --> 00:01:28,520 some tragic happened yesterday. 54 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:32,020 And I feel like it's just best to get it out 55 00:01:32,020 --> 00:01:33,860 and maybe help somebody else out. 56 00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:35,380 You know, that's going through a hard time. 57 00:01:35,380 --> 00:01:37,720 So it's hard for me to talk about, 58 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:39,520 but the Packers lost yesterday 59 00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,340 in the divisional round of the NFL playoffs. 60 00:01:41,340 --> 00:01:44,700 And you know, I'm putting on a brave face right now, 61 00:01:44,700 --> 00:01:46,220 but it hurts. 62 00:01:46,220 --> 00:01:47,780 It's a tragedy dude. 63 00:01:47,780 --> 00:01:48,620 It hurts. 64 00:01:48,620 --> 00:01:49,440 It's bad. 65 00:01:49,440 --> 00:01:52,540 I mean, y'all beat America's team. 66 00:01:52,540 --> 00:01:54,980 And then, you know, you took the title. 67 00:01:54,980 --> 00:01:57,500 The United States really needed the Packers 68 00:01:57,500 --> 00:01:59,580 to win that fucking game dude. 69 00:01:59,580 --> 00:02:00,420 We needed. 70 00:02:00,420 --> 00:02:01,660 We're not owned by any owner, 71 00:02:01,660 --> 00:02:03,620 not any corporate greed. 72 00:02:03,620 --> 00:02:05,020 Other fans. 73 00:02:05,020 --> 00:02:05,860 Hell yeah. 74 00:02:05,860 --> 00:02:07,360 Mr. Philgo you son of a bitch. 75 00:02:09,020 --> 00:02:09,980 I cried a little bit. 76 00:02:09,980 --> 00:02:12,140 But what we're trying to do, 77 00:02:12,140 --> 00:02:14,380 and also I am sorry to all the fans 78 00:02:14,380 --> 00:02:17,580 who only tune in to see my perfect beard. 79 00:02:17,580 --> 00:02:20,620 And I haven't been able to get to the barbershop 80 00:02:20,620 --> 00:02:23,340 in like three weeks because of the ice and all that stuff. 81 00:02:23,340 --> 00:02:24,660 So I'm sorry to you guys. 82 00:02:24,660 --> 00:02:25,900 I know it always looks perfect, 83 00:02:25,900 --> 00:02:27,500 but you know, time goes into this. 84 00:02:27,500 --> 00:02:29,460 Yeah, you know, the ice storm, 85 00:02:29,460 --> 00:02:31,540 it really messed up a lot of people's lives. 86 00:02:31,540 --> 00:02:33,520 Single mothers couldn't leave their home 87 00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:36,740 to go get groceries for their hungry children, 88 00:02:36,740 --> 00:02:39,540 but Dom couldn't get to the Puerto Rican barbershop. 89 00:02:39,540 --> 00:02:41,300 And that shit just matters more. 90 00:02:41,300 --> 00:02:42,140 It's equally. 91 00:02:42,140 --> 00:02:43,500 I would say it matters equally. 92 00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:44,900 That's very humble of you to say that. 93 00:02:44,900 --> 00:02:46,020 Fuck that lady. 94 00:02:46,020 --> 00:02:46,840 Fuck those kids. 95 00:02:46,840 --> 00:02:47,680 I mean, the kids will be, 96 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:48,620 all right, you got rice in there. 97 00:02:48,620 --> 00:02:49,980 They're standardized test scores. 98 00:02:49,980 --> 00:02:51,540 There's no way they were good. 99 00:02:51,540 --> 00:02:53,380 They're not contributing to society. 100 00:02:53,380 --> 00:02:55,900 And the old people, they struggled too during this ice. 101 00:02:55,900 --> 00:02:59,100 I bet you a lot of motherfuckers got hurt that were over 80. 102 00:02:59,100 --> 00:02:59,940 Oh yeah. 103 00:02:59,940 --> 00:03:00,760 Flipped on their ass. 104 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:02,380 I'm glad you all right, Dom. 105 00:03:02,380 --> 00:03:03,220 Shit, man. 106 00:03:03,220 --> 00:03:04,220 You wanna do it? 107 00:03:04,220 --> 00:03:05,060 You wanna do it? 108 00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:05,900 You wanna do it? 109 00:03:05,900 --> 00:03:06,740 Ah! 110 00:03:06,740 --> 00:03:07,740 Hit the d***! 111 00:03:07,740 --> 00:03:11,540 Oh shit, combination. 112 00:03:11,540 --> 00:03:14,580 Combination, but he's fucking throwing 113 00:03:14,580 --> 00:03:16,660 Tekken combos over there, man. 114 00:03:16,660 --> 00:03:17,820 I don't gonna fail too anyway. 115 00:03:17,820 --> 00:03:19,100 Oh, Brady, you a shit. 116 00:03:19,100 --> 00:03:22,660 It's time that we stop the elder abuse on this podcast, 117 00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:23,660 and it's fucked up. 118 00:03:26,260 --> 00:03:27,660 Oh shit. 119 00:03:27,660 --> 00:03:28,540 So it's been new. 120 00:03:28,540 --> 00:03:31,500 We haven't been able to go to a mic all week. 121 00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:33,300 Dude, the ice show is real. 122 00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:35,580 North Alabama, we're fucked, man. 123 00:03:35,580 --> 00:03:36,420 And you know why? 124 00:03:36,420 --> 00:03:37,740 Because these dumb motherfuckers don't know. 125 00:03:37,740 --> 00:03:42,740 You put the goddamn rock salt down before the ice comes. 126 00:03:43,860 --> 00:03:45,980 Then it doesn't freeze the fucking road. 127 00:03:45,980 --> 00:03:47,100 So it's not even that bad. 128 00:03:47,100 --> 00:03:48,020 It wasn't even that bad. 129 00:03:48,020 --> 00:03:50,580 It was ice, all the roads were ice. 130 00:03:50,580 --> 00:03:53,660 There was no preventative measures taken. 131 00:03:53,660 --> 00:03:54,540 Yeah, and it sucks. 132 00:03:54,540 --> 00:03:56,380 People ended up dying because of that. 133 00:03:56,380 --> 00:03:58,820 21 year old kid died last night. 134 00:03:58,820 --> 00:03:59,660 Really? 135 00:03:59,660 --> 00:04:00,480 Wow. 136 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:01,380 Damn, that sucks. 137 00:04:01,380 --> 00:04:03,500 All because Huntsville doesn't wanna plan 138 00:04:03,500 --> 00:04:06,060 for winter emergencies, man. 139 00:04:06,060 --> 00:04:07,820 It's global warming, it's coming. 140 00:04:07,820 --> 00:04:10,180 You guys don't wanna let her, Greta, what's her name? 141 00:04:10,180 --> 00:04:11,020 Thunberg. 142 00:04:11,020 --> 00:04:11,840 There you go. 143 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:13,340 You don't wanna listen to her? 144 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:15,060 This is what happens, Alabama. 145 00:04:15,060 --> 00:04:16,340 This is what happens. 146 00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:18,780 Okay, dude, when she gets more followers on TikTok, 147 00:04:18,780 --> 00:04:20,160 I'll fucking listen to her. 148 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:21,700 But if she wants to keep talking about 149 00:04:21,700 --> 00:04:24,580 at the UN conference that nobody gives a fuck about. 150 00:04:24,580 --> 00:04:26,140 Who's listening to it? 151 00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:28,340 Dude, more people know Taylor Swift 152 00:04:28,340 --> 00:04:30,220 was at the fucking Chiefs games 153 00:04:30,220 --> 00:04:31,740 than whoever the fuck just spoke 154 00:04:31,740 --> 00:04:33,140 at the last state of the union. 155 00:04:33,140 --> 00:04:36,740 Oh, by probably a thousand times or more. 156 00:04:36,740 --> 00:04:38,140 And I don't blame them. 157 00:04:38,140 --> 00:04:41,380 That information about Taylor Swift being there at the game 158 00:04:41,380 --> 00:04:45,060 is more culturally relevant and valuable information to know. 159 00:04:45,060 --> 00:04:45,900 1,000%. 160 00:04:45,900 --> 00:04:46,740 In this day and age. 161 00:04:46,740 --> 00:04:47,660 Hell yeah. Absolutely. 162 00:04:47,660 --> 00:04:49,980 Who the fuck cares about whatever's on C-SPAN? 163 00:04:49,980 --> 00:04:52,840 Have you ever tried to watch C-SPAN? 164 00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:54,500 I mean, it's been on. 165 00:04:54,500 --> 00:04:56,260 It's the most dry-ass shit. 166 00:04:56,260 --> 00:04:57,100 Oh my God. 167 00:04:57,100 --> 00:04:59,100 I mean, what the fuck is going on? 168 00:04:59,100 --> 00:05:00,700 Like, this is what the government is? 169 00:05:00,700 --> 00:05:02,540 That, no wonder we don't get shit done. 170 00:05:02,540 --> 00:05:03,380 She's lame, man. 171 00:05:03,380 --> 00:05:04,820 Yeah. 172 00:05:04,820 --> 00:05:05,940 Fila-buster. 173 00:05:05,940 --> 00:05:07,140 Fila-buster, what's that? 174 00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:08,900 What's fila-buster? 175 00:05:08,900 --> 00:05:09,740 Explain to JJ. 176 00:05:09,740 --> 00:05:10,580 What? 177 00:05:10,580 --> 00:05:12,100 That sound kinda in it. 178 00:05:12,100 --> 00:05:12,940 That sound wrong. 179 00:05:12,940 --> 00:05:14,060 Isn't that just when somebody rambles on 180 00:05:14,060 --> 00:05:15,300 about some shit to waste time? 181 00:05:15,300 --> 00:05:16,140 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 182 00:05:16,140 --> 00:05:17,460 And like, I hear it, yeah. 183 00:05:17,460 --> 00:05:20,060 But dude, the history of Congress, 184 00:05:20,060 --> 00:05:22,900 way more interesting than Congress today, bro. 185 00:05:22,900 --> 00:05:25,340 Congress used to beat the fuck out of each other, man. 186 00:05:25,340 --> 00:05:26,180 Really? 187 00:05:26,180 --> 00:05:29,380 The caning of Lawrence Sumner, or Charles Sumner, 188 00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:33,020 this dude beat this other dude with a cane 189 00:05:33,020 --> 00:05:33,980 because they were disagreeing. 190 00:05:33,980 --> 00:05:36,820 It was like right before the Civil War, 191 00:05:36,820 --> 00:05:38,500 bleeding Kansas and all that shit. 192 00:05:38,500 --> 00:05:42,380 But yeah, he beat the fuck out of him with a cane. 193 00:05:42,380 --> 00:05:45,180 He was a dude from South Carolina beat up, 194 00:05:45,180 --> 00:05:48,500 I think it was Preston Brooks, he was a senator, whatever. 195 00:05:48,500 --> 00:05:49,340 From where? 196 00:05:49,340 --> 00:05:50,180 South Carolina. 197 00:05:50,180 --> 00:05:51,980 But who's the guy he beat up? 198 00:05:51,980 --> 00:05:53,020 Charles Sumner. 199 00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:53,940 From? 200 00:05:53,940 --> 00:05:56,100 Up north, he's fucking Yankee, who cares? 201 00:05:57,260 --> 00:06:00,660 There was also Lawrence Kite beat the fuck out of somebody, 202 00:06:00,660 --> 00:06:03,260 another guy from South Carolina beat up. 203 00:06:03,260 --> 00:06:05,900 This dude with this weird name that I can't remember 204 00:06:05,900 --> 00:06:08,700 at the moment, he had a weird fucking name. 205 00:06:10,180 --> 00:06:11,620 Yeah, you know, you looking at me like, 206 00:06:11,620 --> 00:06:12,740 I'm gonna help you out. 207 00:06:12,740 --> 00:06:14,180 I don't know, I was trying to, 208 00:06:14,180 --> 00:06:16,620 he probably looked like you or something, I don't know. 209 00:06:16,620 --> 00:06:17,460 See if I can remember. 210 00:06:17,460 --> 00:06:19,020 He definitely didn't look like me back then. 211 00:06:19,020 --> 00:06:20,420 Yeah, you probably did. 212 00:06:20,420 --> 00:06:21,900 Maybe shortly after that. 213 00:06:22,700 --> 00:06:25,100 Yo, imagine hundreds of years later, 214 00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:27,020 we still talking about that ass whooping. 215 00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:28,340 That's crazy, man. 216 00:06:28,340 --> 00:06:31,580 Yeah, that was the original Summer Slam, dude. 217 00:06:31,580 --> 00:06:32,660 For real? 218 00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:34,700 The caning of Charles Sumner. 219 00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:36,460 Sumner versus Brooks, man. 220 00:06:36,460 --> 00:06:37,300 Okay. 221 00:06:37,300 --> 00:06:39,740 I'm sure they were, everybody was starving, 222 00:06:39,740 --> 00:06:42,300 they're probably like featherweight division, I don't know. 223 00:06:42,300 --> 00:06:44,380 Maybe they were the only fat ones, 224 00:06:44,380 --> 00:06:45,220 because they actually made money. 225 00:06:45,220 --> 00:06:46,060 Yeah. 226 00:06:46,060 --> 00:06:49,980 We got to see some Confederate money in class. 227 00:06:49,980 --> 00:06:51,060 It's hilarious, dude. 228 00:06:51,060 --> 00:06:52,540 It looks like Monopoly money. 229 00:06:52,540 --> 00:06:54,620 It's just a little piece of paper 230 00:06:54,620 --> 00:06:56,660 with like 10 cents written on it. 231 00:06:56,660 --> 00:06:58,940 Like this is worth 10 cents. 232 00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:01,540 They had such a problem with fucking, 233 00:07:01,540 --> 00:07:04,900 they would call them plaster or like dry plaster banks 234 00:07:04,900 --> 00:07:06,700 or whatever, because you would just take the money 235 00:07:06,700 --> 00:07:09,260 and it's so useless, you just use it to fix holes 236 00:07:09,260 --> 00:07:10,420 in your wall and shit. 237 00:07:10,420 --> 00:07:11,860 It wasn't actually worth anything. 238 00:07:11,860 --> 00:07:15,100 They legitimately just wrote like, this is worth 10 cents. 239 00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:16,980 And they tried to use the honor system, 240 00:07:16,980 --> 00:07:17,820 just didn't work, man. 241 00:07:17,820 --> 00:07:18,740 Yeah, yeah. 242 00:07:18,740 --> 00:07:20,220 South will never rise again. 243 00:07:21,180 --> 00:07:22,660 They didn't listen to Jackson, man. 244 00:07:22,660 --> 00:07:24,860 Should've sit with the bullion system. 245 00:07:24,860 --> 00:07:25,700 Yeah. 246 00:07:25,700 --> 00:07:27,540 If you don't back up money with gold or something else, 247 00:07:27,540 --> 00:07:28,380 it's not worth it. 248 00:07:28,380 --> 00:07:29,200 It's not worth shit. 249 00:07:29,200 --> 00:07:30,040 Hell no. 250 00:07:30,040 --> 00:07:30,880 It's not worth anything, man. 251 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:31,700 See Venezuela. 252 00:07:35,980 --> 00:07:37,380 I'm just learning over here, man. 253 00:07:37,380 --> 00:07:38,220 I'm just listening. 254 00:07:38,220 --> 00:07:39,140 This is good shit. 255 00:07:39,140 --> 00:07:40,300 Yeah, how you been, Brandon? 256 00:07:40,300 --> 00:07:41,580 Man, I've been good, man. 257 00:07:41,580 --> 00:07:44,420 I realized shit that when ice comes, 258 00:07:44,420 --> 00:07:46,340 you forget how to cross the road. 259 00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:47,180 It's fucked up. 260 00:07:47,180 --> 00:07:48,020 Wait a minute. 261 00:07:48,020 --> 00:07:49,140 Okay, so this sounds weird. 262 00:07:49,140 --> 00:07:49,980 Let me tell you what happened. 263 00:07:49,980 --> 00:07:51,020 So I was getting ready to cross the road. 264 00:07:51,020 --> 00:07:53,060 My sister goes, she's like, come on, Brandon. 265 00:07:53,060 --> 00:07:54,340 I'm like, no, there's a fucking car. 266 00:07:54,340 --> 00:07:56,420 I'm not, because me, I got anxiety. 267 00:07:56,420 --> 00:08:00,100 I'm nervous, I fall down my ass in front of all these cars. 268 00:08:00,100 --> 00:08:01,940 So I'm trying so hard to get over it. 269 00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:04,260 And then I get stuck in somebody's backyard 270 00:08:04,260 --> 00:08:07,020 because I slipped and fell in the parking lot. 271 00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,740 And I was stuck trying to get up. 272 00:08:08,740 --> 00:08:10,540 And she was like, come on, nigga, you scared the road. 273 00:08:10,540 --> 00:08:12,060 I'm like, no, I'm trying to get over it, nigga. 274 00:08:12,060 --> 00:08:12,900 I can't walk. 275 00:08:12,900 --> 00:08:14,820 And I kept flipping this shit. 276 00:08:14,820 --> 00:08:16,020 Then she fell on her ass. 277 00:08:16,020 --> 00:08:18,380 And I'm just like, please don't let these people 278 00:08:18,380 --> 00:08:20,580 see me fall on my buttocks, man. 279 00:08:20,580 --> 00:08:21,420 It's true. 280 00:08:21,420 --> 00:08:22,260 You didn't fall at all? 281 00:08:22,260 --> 00:08:23,080 Shit. 282 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:23,920 Oh, I fell a few times. 283 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:24,760 You did? 284 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:27,660 The UAH, the gym parking lot was all ice. 285 00:08:27,660 --> 00:08:29,380 And I just sat in the truck for a minute 286 00:08:29,380 --> 00:08:31,540 and everybody that walked by ate shit. 287 00:08:31,540 --> 00:08:32,860 Like it was like a movie. 288 00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:35,500 Like everybody was fucking falling and shit. 289 00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:36,620 And I was like, those idiots. 290 00:08:36,620 --> 00:08:39,180 Then I get out there, eat shit immediately, 291 00:08:39,180 --> 00:08:40,180 stepping out of the truck. 292 00:08:40,180 --> 00:08:42,060 My foot slides. 293 00:08:42,060 --> 00:08:45,220 I bent in ways I didn't know was possible. 294 00:08:45,220 --> 00:08:46,420 We fucking made it, man. 295 00:08:46,420 --> 00:08:47,260 We made it, man. 296 00:08:47,260 --> 00:08:48,080 Hell yeah. 297 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:49,300 I got stranded. 298 00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:52,660 I got stranded on Friday after I left your house. 299 00:08:52,660 --> 00:08:53,860 I was trying to go this one way, 300 00:08:53,860 --> 00:08:54,980 but they closed the road 301 00:08:54,980 --> 00:08:56,580 because somebody slid off the road 302 00:08:56,580 --> 00:09:00,020 and knocked out a telephone pole, like slid on the ice. 303 00:09:00,020 --> 00:09:02,460 And I was trying to go home a different way. 304 00:09:02,460 --> 00:09:05,340 And I went up this hill and it was icy. 305 00:09:05,340 --> 00:09:06,940 And then I just started coming back. 306 00:09:06,940 --> 00:09:09,880 And I was like, well, and it's a steep ass hill. 307 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:11,060 You know where it is. 308 00:09:11,060 --> 00:09:13,140 And it's a big curve. 309 00:09:13,140 --> 00:09:14,860 And if I was just to keep going backwards, 310 00:09:14,860 --> 00:09:18,020 I would just go over that curb and into that person's house. 311 00:09:18,020 --> 00:09:19,580 So I like cut the wheels, 312 00:09:19,580 --> 00:09:21,500 got the back wheel stuck on the curb 313 00:09:21,500 --> 00:09:23,820 and I was stuck there, like could not move. 314 00:09:23,820 --> 00:09:26,420 And then this dude that lived there came out and helped me 315 00:09:26,420 --> 00:09:28,280 and we fucking, we got it out. 316 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:29,580 How'd you get it out? 317 00:09:29,580 --> 00:09:33,380 Hot water, cardboard, like putting it under the tires, 318 00:09:33,380 --> 00:09:36,940 shove, I feel so bad, dude, destroyed this dude's shovel 319 00:09:36,940 --> 00:09:38,700 because it's hitting the ice and breaking through 320 00:09:38,700 --> 00:09:41,020 and hitting the asphalt, fucked up his shovel, dude. 321 00:09:41,020 --> 00:09:43,620 So I'm gonna throw like a Home Depot gift card 322 00:09:43,620 --> 00:09:44,460 in his mailbox. 323 00:09:44,460 --> 00:09:46,660 So shout out Christian. 324 00:09:46,660 --> 00:09:48,140 Thank you, Christian. 325 00:09:48,140 --> 00:09:48,980 Hell yeah, Brandon. 326 00:09:48,980 --> 00:09:49,820 Hell yeah. 327 00:09:49,820 --> 00:09:50,900 You know what's crazy about that story? 328 00:09:50,900 --> 00:09:52,100 We talked about this earlier. 329 00:09:52,100 --> 00:09:55,220 That's the same hill I almost crashed into a house also. 330 00:09:55,220 --> 00:09:56,580 Dude, it's a crazy hill. 331 00:09:56,580 --> 00:10:01,580 Cause it goes down hellish steep, then a sharp left turn. 332 00:10:01,740 --> 00:10:03,660 Like super, super sharp. 333 00:10:03,660 --> 00:10:04,500 Scary, man. 334 00:10:04,500 --> 00:10:05,320 Damn. 335 00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:06,160 Yeah, they gotta fix that. 336 00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:07,860 They got, they got, they don't have any railings up around 337 00:10:07,860 --> 00:10:08,900 it or nothing. 338 00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:10,500 No, that's nothing, it's just hill. 339 00:10:10,500 --> 00:10:11,340 Damn. 340 00:10:11,340 --> 00:10:12,420 That's why I was stuck. 341 00:10:12,420 --> 00:10:13,980 Cause that was right up on top. 342 00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:17,660 A guard, there's like a curb, just a normal curb and faith. 343 00:10:17,660 --> 00:10:18,500 That's it. 344 00:10:18,500 --> 00:10:19,940 That's it. 345 00:10:19,940 --> 00:10:21,940 And even when it's not icy, it's kind of dangerous 346 00:10:21,940 --> 00:10:24,060 cause people still don't go the right way. 347 00:10:24,060 --> 00:10:25,620 They just go wherever they wanna go, man. 348 00:10:25,620 --> 00:10:26,460 Okay. 349 00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:29,300 Just being on that curb, like as a child on my bike, 350 00:10:29,300 --> 00:10:31,100 I almost died millions of times. 351 00:10:31,100 --> 00:10:33,180 Shit happens. 352 00:10:33,180 --> 00:10:34,900 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that makes you stronger. 353 00:10:34,900 --> 00:10:35,740 Yeah. 354 00:10:35,740 --> 00:10:36,580 Yeah, yeah. 355 00:10:36,580 --> 00:10:38,820 But your death experiences makes you a better person. 356 00:10:38,820 --> 00:10:40,460 It makes or breaks you. 357 00:10:40,460 --> 00:10:42,820 Some people never recover, but I mean, 358 00:10:42,820 --> 00:10:44,700 it was gonna happen at some point. 359 00:10:44,700 --> 00:10:47,540 I've literally been close to death probably 10 times. 360 00:10:47,540 --> 00:10:49,220 Like extremely close. 361 00:10:49,220 --> 00:10:52,020 I feel like the closest to death you ever get in your life, 362 00:10:52,020 --> 00:10:54,420 unless you just have like a crazy near death experience, 363 00:10:54,420 --> 00:10:55,700 you probably don't even know about. 364 00:10:55,700 --> 00:10:56,540 Oh, yeah. 365 00:10:56,540 --> 00:10:58,740 Like you probably like almost fell off a fucking cliff 366 00:10:58,740 --> 00:11:00,180 or something and you just didn't know. 367 00:11:00,180 --> 00:11:01,020 Yeah. 368 00:11:01,020 --> 00:11:01,860 Yeah. 369 00:11:01,860 --> 00:11:04,540 That almost happened to me one time. 370 00:11:04,540 --> 00:11:07,300 I was drunk as my ex, right? 371 00:11:07,300 --> 00:11:08,620 We were going through some shit. 372 00:11:08,620 --> 00:11:12,620 And I had drunk a whole fifth of Captain Morgan's. 373 00:11:12,620 --> 00:11:13,620 Okay. 374 00:11:13,620 --> 00:11:14,540 Shout out Dan Price. 375 00:11:14,540 --> 00:11:15,780 She had her, yeah. 376 00:11:17,060 --> 00:11:17,900 Shout out. 377 00:11:17,900 --> 00:11:18,740 Yeah. 378 00:11:18,740 --> 00:11:21,220 And then, so I got drunk and then she brought like 379 00:11:21,220 --> 00:11:23,700 her best friend, which is this gay guy over. 380 00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:25,980 Just, it doesn't make, I guess I shouldn't, 381 00:11:25,980 --> 00:11:27,900 it doesn't matter if he's gay, but he's gay. 382 00:11:27,900 --> 00:11:29,060 And well, it does matter. 383 00:11:29,060 --> 00:11:29,900 You thought it was important. 384 00:11:29,900 --> 00:11:31,740 No, no, it does matter at the end of the story. 385 00:11:31,740 --> 00:11:33,740 So then he comes over and then like, 386 00:11:33,740 --> 00:11:35,700 she's just getting back from this training. 387 00:11:35,700 --> 00:11:37,260 So I haven't seen her like in three weeks. 388 00:11:37,260 --> 00:11:38,660 We're going through problems and shit. 389 00:11:38,660 --> 00:11:40,060 So I'm just sitting there drunk. 390 00:11:40,060 --> 00:11:41,740 I was like, fuck this, I'm leaving. 391 00:11:41,740 --> 00:11:42,620 It's supposed to be just us. 392 00:11:42,620 --> 00:11:44,100 You got your friend over here. 393 00:11:44,100 --> 00:11:45,500 So I try to leave. 394 00:11:45,500 --> 00:11:46,820 Now I'm fucked up. 395 00:11:46,820 --> 00:11:50,020 And I have a solo cup full of Captain Morgan 396 00:11:50,020 --> 00:11:52,580 and Coke in my car and a cop pulls me over. 397 00:11:52,580 --> 00:11:53,420 Oh shit. 398 00:11:53,420 --> 00:11:54,260 Because I'm fucked up. 399 00:11:54,260 --> 00:11:55,180 And he's like, what are you doing? 400 00:11:55,180 --> 00:11:56,660 I was like, I just got back from deployment. 401 00:11:56,660 --> 00:11:58,260 I was coming to see my wife. 402 00:11:58,260 --> 00:11:59,100 We live in different places. 403 00:11:59,100 --> 00:12:00,500 He was like, just get home safe. 404 00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:02,260 So then I'm like, I was gonna drive all the way back. 405 00:12:02,260 --> 00:12:04,420 This is in Columbus, Georgia. 406 00:12:04,420 --> 00:12:07,580 I was gonna drive all the way back to Clarksville, Tennessee. 407 00:12:07,580 --> 00:12:08,860 So then I was like, fuck that. 408 00:12:08,860 --> 00:12:10,180 I'm just gonna go back to the house 409 00:12:10,180 --> 00:12:12,780 and try to reconcile this. 410 00:12:12,780 --> 00:12:15,380 I get, I start to drive, put it in my GPS. 411 00:12:15,380 --> 00:12:17,580 This was when GPS wasn't like what it is now. 412 00:12:17,580 --> 00:12:19,820 And it had me on this back road. 413 00:12:19,820 --> 00:12:23,180 And I literally drove and then I had a Camaro, shout out. 414 00:12:23,180 --> 00:12:24,580 And it got stuck. 415 00:12:24,580 --> 00:12:25,420 It got stuck. 416 00:12:25,420 --> 00:12:27,100 I was like trying to drive and it got stuck. 417 00:12:27,100 --> 00:12:27,940 I'm like, what the fuck? 418 00:12:27,940 --> 00:12:29,140 So I get out and I'm so drunk. 419 00:12:29,140 --> 00:12:29,980 I'm trying to push it. 420 00:12:29,980 --> 00:12:32,700 I don't realize, I look down, it's a 30 foot drop. 421 00:12:32,700 --> 00:12:35,140 At least, at least a 30 foot drop. 422 00:12:35,140 --> 00:12:36,460 So then I'm like, oh fuck. 423 00:12:36,460 --> 00:12:39,740 So I go to the door of the houses right there 424 00:12:39,740 --> 00:12:41,380 and I knock on the door and nobody, 425 00:12:41,380 --> 00:12:43,860 I see, I can hear them in there, but they don't come. 426 00:12:43,860 --> 00:12:44,860 So I'm like, fuck. 427 00:12:44,860 --> 00:12:45,900 So I call a tow truck. 428 00:12:45,900 --> 00:12:47,620 I'm just like, hey, my shit's stuck. 429 00:12:47,620 --> 00:12:48,900 Can you come pull me out? 430 00:12:48,900 --> 00:12:50,060 Cop pulls up again. 431 00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:53,060 Now I have to reintegrate how fucked up I am. 432 00:12:53,060 --> 00:12:54,380 The cop doesn't even give a fuck, 433 00:12:54,380 --> 00:12:55,980 tries to help me push my car out. 434 00:12:55,980 --> 00:12:58,340 Cause it was like, it was like the road 435 00:12:58,340 --> 00:13:00,860 and then it dropped off like a little bit like this 436 00:13:00,860 --> 00:13:03,140 with some rocks and then the whole dropped. 437 00:13:03,140 --> 00:13:04,500 So if I would have been going faster, 438 00:13:04,500 --> 00:13:06,300 I would have just went off this motherfucker. 439 00:13:06,300 --> 00:13:07,140 So he helps me. 440 00:13:07,140 --> 00:13:08,220 He was like, you already called a tow truck? 441 00:13:08,220 --> 00:13:09,060 I'm like, yeah. 442 00:13:09,060 --> 00:13:10,340 He was like, well, I can't do nothing else for you. 443 00:13:10,340 --> 00:13:11,180 I'm leaving. 444 00:13:11,180 --> 00:13:13,540 And then the tow truck came and I went back to the house 445 00:13:13,540 --> 00:13:17,860 and her best friend, even though he's gay, he's still a guy 446 00:13:17,860 --> 00:13:19,340 and he was sleeping on my side of the bed. 447 00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:20,420 So I threw my drink. 448 00:13:21,380 --> 00:13:22,220 Oh my God. 449 00:13:22,220 --> 00:13:23,660 Did you throw a drink on the bed? 450 00:13:23,660 --> 00:13:24,980 Yeah, I haven't seen her since. 451 00:13:24,980 --> 00:13:25,820 So. 452 00:13:26,780 --> 00:13:28,100 You threw your drink on her? 453 00:13:28,100 --> 00:13:29,540 I threw a drink on both of us. 454 00:13:29,540 --> 00:13:30,380 On both of them? 455 00:13:30,380 --> 00:13:31,220 Yeah. 456 00:13:31,220 --> 00:13:33,580 Okay, but you also said him being gay was important 457 00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:34,420 for the end of this talk? 458 00:13:34,420 --> 00:13:36,780 Yeah, because it's not like she's sleeping with the guy. 459 00:13:36,780 --> 00:13:38,260 He's gay. 460 00:13:38,260 --> 00:13:40,780 But still in my mind, I'm like, why the fuck is he 461 00:13:40,780 --> 00:13:41,620 on my side of the bed? 462 00:13:41,620 --> 00:13:43,740 Don, you know that's a hate crime. 463 00:13:43,740 --> 00:13:46,620 You just hate crime to gay man. 464 00:13:46,620 --> 00:13:48,660 Throw Captain Morgan on him. 465 00:13:48,660 --> 00:13:49,500 He was cool. 466 00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:50,340 He was trying to calm me down. 467 00:13:50,340 --> 00:13:51,180 He was cool. 468 00:13:51,180 --> 00:13:52,380 He was cool about it. 469 00:13:53,380 --> 00:13:54,460 I was the one that was fucked up. 470 00:13:54,460 --> 00:13:55,300 Yeah, yeah. 471 00:13:55,300 --> 00:13:57,220 That was back in my early twenties. 472 00:13:57,220 --> 00:13:59,020 Hormones are raging. 473 00:13:59,020 --> 00:14:00,420 I mean, I haven't done that. 474 00:14:00,420 --> 00:14:01,900 Brandon, have you done anything like that? 475 00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:02,860 Not yet. 476 00:14:02,860 --> 00:14:04,660 You guys haven't got there yet, all right? 477 00:14:04,660 --> 00:14:05,780 I haven't got there yet. 478 00:14:05,780 --> 00:14:07,140 I don't know what will happen. 479 00:14:07,140 --> 00:14:09,100 Hopefully we never get to wherever that is. 480 00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:10,140 Hopefully never. 481 00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:13,140 You don't know when a bad Latina fucks with your brain. 482 00:14:13,140 --> 00:14:13,980 All right? 483 00:14:15,860 --> 00:14:17,180 Destroy you. 484 00:14:17,180 --> 00:14:19,020 Hey, fuck, at least it wasn't a bad enough. 485 00:14:19,020 --> 00:14:20,420 Like nigga, what you, bam. 486 00:14:20,420 --> 00:14:21,260 Hit him with the bat. 487 00:14:21,260 --> 00:14:23,260 Oh no, no, no, I wouldn't get violent, 488 00:14:23,260 --> 00:14:25,220 but I was gonna, it was ice in there. 489 00:14:25,220 --> 00:14:27,620 Not crushed either. 490 00:14:27,620 --> 00:14:29,420 It was solid ice. 491 00:14:29,420 --> 00:14:31,260 It was solid ice, yeah. 492 00:14:31,260 --> 00:14:33,660 Okay, so how long, I wanna know, 493 00:14:33,660 --> 00:14:37,740 how long were you gone from the house before you came back? 494 00:14:37,740 --> 00:14:38,700 Oh, hours. 495 00:14:40,060 --> 00:14:40,900 I do, I'm telling you. 496 00:14:40,900 --> 00:14:42,460 I didn't know where I was. 497 00:14:42,460 --> 00:14:45,420 Cause I had to pay for, we were both in the army. 498 00:14:47,900 --> 00:14:50,620 So my family doesn't know, but we got married. 499 00:14:50,620 --> 00:14:52,060 My family still doesn't know. 500 00:14:52,060 --> 00:14:54,420 Well, we got married to stay together, right? 501 00:14:54,420 --> 00:14:56,500 So I still had an apartment in Clarksville 502 00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:59,340 and I'm paying half on an apartment in Columbus 503 00:14:59,340 --> 00:15:01,620 because we're supposed, army's supposed to get you together, 504 00:15:01,620 --> 00:15:02,940 but army's like, no, you'll be all right. 505 00:15:02,940 --> 00:15:03,780 You're still deploying. 506 00:15:03,780 --> 00:15:05,460 I was like, God damn. 507 00:15:05,460 --> 00:15:06,300 So I had a- 508 00:15:06,300 --> 00:15:07,460 There's a war. 509 00:15:07,460 --> 00:15:09,980 Yeah, yeah, so she had to move over there. 510 00:15:09,980 --> 00:15:11,260 So it was hard cause I'm going, 511 00:15:11,260 --> 00:15:13,380 like I'm just driving to Columbus every weekend. 512 00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:14,940 And in the weekend, you don't really want to, 513 00:15:14,940 --> 00:15:16,900 you're like, I wanna hang out with the boys a little bit. 514 00:15:16,900 --> 00:15:18,340 And then it's a big thing. 515 00:15:18,340 --> 00:15:19,180 Yeah. 516 00:15:19,180 --> 00:15:22,060 Yeah, but I was a piece of shit. 517 00:15:22,060 --> 00:15:23,740 She was too though. 518 00:15:23,740 --> 00:15:24,580 It's fair. 519 00:15:24,580 --> 00:15:25,540 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 520 00:15:25,540 --> 00:15:27,580 I completely understand, dude. 521 00:15:27,580 --> 00:15:28,420 What happened? 522 00:15:28,420 --> 00:15:31,900 Army got you in separate places, but equal conditions. 523 00:15:31,900 --> 00:15:34,340 And I've always been a fan of separate but equal. 524 00:15:34,340 --> 00:15:35,180 Yeah. 525 00:15:35,180 --> 00:15:36,380 You know me. 526 00:15:36,380 --> 00:15:37,340 Hell yeah. 527 00:15:37,340 --> 00:15:38,180 Hold on. 528 00:15:38,180 --> 00:15:39,020 There you go. 529 00:15:39,020 --> 00:15:41,540 Why did he say hell yeah? 530 00:15:41,540 --> 00:15:43,380 Brandon really is Uncle Ruckus. 531 00:15:43,380 --> 00:15:44,500 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 532 00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:45,820 What was I agreeing to right there? 533 00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:47,860 I thought, hold on, wait a minute, man. 534 00:15:47,860 --> 00:15:50,860 See, there was a landmark court case, 535 00:15:50,860 --> 00:15:53,380 Supreme court case, Plessy versus Ferguson, 536 00:15:53,380 --> 00:15:55,940 where they said that they could put black people 537 00:15:55,940 --> 00:15:57,660 and white people in different schools 538 00:15:57,660 --> 00:15:59,700 as long as they were equal. 539 00:15:59,700 --> 00:16:02,700 Equally funded, which just wasn't true at all. 540 00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:05,620 They did not fund those fucking, those other schools, man. 541 00:16:05,620 --> 00:16:07,460 It was fucked up and you agreed with it. 542 00:16:07,460 --> 00:16:08,580 Oh, so this is segregation. 543 00:16:08,580 --> 00:16:09,780 Oh, hold up, wait a minute. 544 00:16:09,780 --> 00:16:11,060 I gotta get to the camera for this one. 545 00:16:11,060 --> 00:16:13,780 Yo, I don't, fuck segregation, y'all. 546 00:16:13,780 --> 00:16:15,020 We gotta all be equal. 547 00:16:15,020 --> 00:16:16,620 I like everybody. 548 00:16:16,620 --> 00:16:18,660 We are equal, but just separate. 549 00:16:18,660 --> 00:16:20,820 No, we don't have to separate, y'all. 550 00:16:20,820 --> 00:16:22,260 I see what's going on. 551 00:16:22,260 --> 00:16:23,420 I see that little trick. 552 00:16:23,420 --> 00:16:25,620 Nobody has to separate, we're all equal. 553 00:16:25,620 --> 00:16:29,860 Yeah, but we're saying, he's saying that everybody is equal, 554 00:16:29,860 --> 00:16:31,780 but you just have to live in separate places. 555 00:16:31,780 --> 00:16:33,620 Oh, nobody should have to live in separate places. 556 00:16:33,620 --> 00:16:34,740 And not go to the same school 557 00:16:34,740 --> 00:16:36,220 or go to the banks at the same time. 558 00:16:36,220 --> 00:16:38,580 Or similar cultures, ways of life. 559 00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:39,980 You can go wherever you wanna go. 560 00:16:39,980 --> 00:16:40,820 Sit in the back of the bus. 561 00:16:40,820 --> 00:16:42,980 No, you don't have to sit in the back of the bus. 562 00:16:42,980 --> 00:16:44,740 Different water fountains. 563 00:16:44,740 --> 00:16:47,140 What would the modern day equivalent of that be? 564 00:16:47,140 --> 00:16:48,020 Like a water fountain, 565 00:16:48,020 --> 00:16:49,820 because people don't really fuck with water fountains 566 00:16:49,820 --> 00:16:50,660 anymore after COVID. 567 00:16:50,660 --> 00:16:51,500 Yeah, he shouldn't. 568 00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:54,100 If we were gonna segregate today's society, 569 00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:56,420 what measures would we have to take? 570 00:16:56,420 --> 00:16:59,700 Will definitely still be school, right? 571 00:16:59,700 --> 00:17:02,180 Probably movie theaters for sure. 572 00:17:02,180 --> 00:17:03,140 Your whites hate, you know, 573 00:17:03,140 --> 00:17:05,340 good black people do be talking. 574 00:17:05,340 --> 00:17:07,740 But movie theaters still be segregated. 575 00:17:09,140 --> 00:17:11,700 How are you gonna segregate online school, though? 576 00:17:13,340 --> 00:17:15,940 They'll have the better teacher for the whites. 577 00:17:15,940 --> 00:17:17,660 You know what I'm saying? 578 00:17:17,660 --> 00:17:21,740 We get the one like my coach White, big game, 579 00:17:21,740 --> 00:17:22,740 what y'all want? 580 00:17:22,740 --> 00:17:24,260 What y'all doing in there? 581 00:17:24,260 --> 00:17:26,100 Y'all teachers just chat GPT. 582 00:17:28,540 --> 00:17:31,220 You get one subscription, but everybody has to share it. 583 00:17:31,220 --> 00:17:33,460 Hey, chat GPT better than some of these teachers. 584 00:17:33,460 --> 00:17:34,300 Oh, hell yeah. 585 00:17:34,300 --> 00:17:35,740 Not explaining that shit. 586 00:17:35,740 --> 00:17:37,660 And most teachers, I would say. 587 00:17:37,660 --> 00:17:40,740 You got some problem with the education system, dude. 588 00:17:40,740 --> 00:17:41,860 We're getting real deep on this. 589 00:17:41,860 --> 00:17:45,140 And teachers out there, if you're in college 590 00:17:45,140 --> 00:17:47,140 and they're not majoring in whatever the fuck 591 00:17:47,140 --> 00:17:49,100 you're teaching, lay off. 592 00:17:49,100 --> 00:17:49,940 Thank you. 593 00:17:49,940 --> 00:17:51,460 Because what the fuck does a business major 594 00:17:51,460 --> 00:17:54,260 need to know about topsoil that much? 595 00:17:54,260 --> 00:17:55,100 You know what I mean? 596 00:17:55,100 --> 00:17:56,100 Well, you got- I'm sorry. 597 00:17:56,100 --> 00:17:56,940 Come on. 598 00:17:56,940 --> 00:17:57,780 You preaching to the fucking choir right there. 599 00:17:57,780 --> 00:17:58,620 Walk with me. 600 00:17:58,620 --> 00:18:00,900 I walk with you now, man. 601 00:18:00,900 --> 00:18:01,740 Come on now. 602 00:18:01,740 --> 00:18:02,580 Hell yeah. 603 00:18:02,580 --> 00:18:03,420 It's important, dude. 604 00:18:03,420 --> 00:18:04,260 Topsoil? 605 00:18:04,260 --> 00:18:05,100 Shit's important, bro. 606 00:18:05,100 --> 00:18:05,940 Yeah, bro. 607 00:18:05,940 --> 00:18:08,020 How do you know what topsoil is gonna mesh 608 00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:11,180 with the natural Alabama red clay that we have here? 609 00:18:11,180 --> 00:18:12,020 Yeah, the clay's the problem. 610 00:18:12,020 --> 00:18:13,180 How else are you gonna grow your own vegetables, dude? 611 00:18:13,180 --> 00:18:14,020 The clay's the problem. 612 00:18:14,020 --> 00:18:15,660 I should know this, but I do. 613 00:18:15,660 --> 00:18:17,020 And if I needed to know it- 614 00:18:17,020 --> 00:18:19,540 Oh, I'll just Google what kind of soil 615 00:18:19,540 --> 00:18:21,340 I need to grow this vegetable or whatever the fuck. 616 00:18:21,340 --> 00:18:23,740 See, dude, you gotta learn how to be self-sufficient. 617 00:18:23,740 --> 00:18:25,420 If you wanna go off the grid, 618 00:18:25,420 --> 00:18:27,220 if you wanna stop paying taxes and shit. 619 00:18:27,220 --> 00:18:28,580 Dude, I'm telling you, I don't agree. 620 00:18:28,580 --> 00:18:30,860 I would never wanna go completely off the grid. 621 00:18:30,860 --> 00:18:31,780 People will go, whatever. 622 00:18:31,780 --> 00:18:34,140 Fuck you, living in the woods and shit? 623 00:18:34,140 --> 00:18:35,540 Yeah, everything's off the grid 624 00:18:35,540 --> 00:18:36,940 until you gotta go to the hospital. 625 00:18:36,940 --> 00:18:38,500 You know what I'm saying? 626 00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:39,780 Hell yeah. 627 00:18:39,780 --> 00:18:42,180 Something simple like a tooth, you know what I'm saying? 628 00:18:42,180 --> 00:18:44,260 And you just die from not getting a root canal? 629 00:18:44,260 --> 00:18:45,100 Yep. 630 00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:46,180 Get infected or something. 631 00:18:46,180 --> 00:18:47,660 Get some diarrhea or some shit. 632 00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:49,380 Die like they did in the old days. 633 00:18:49,380 --> 00:18:50,220 Dysentery? 634 00:18:50,220 --> 00:18:51,060 Dysentery. 635 00:18:51,060 --> 00:18:51,900 You don't want that to get you. 636 00:18:51,900 --> 00:18:52,740 You're fucking- 637 00:18:52,740 --> 00:18:53,900 I have diarrhea all the time, huh? 638 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:54,740 Me too. 639 00:18:54,740 --> 00:18:57,020 Your crops die because of an unexpected winter storm 640 00:18:57,020 --> 00:18:58,260 like we're experiencing, dude. 641 00:18:58,260 --> 00:18:59,900 Your ass is going to Walmart. 642 00:18:59,900 --> 00:19:01,740 But you don't have any money. 643 00:19:01,740 --> 00:19:02,580 Because you're off the grid. 644 00:19:02,580 --> 00:19:03,900 You're stealing. 645 00:19:03,900 --> 00:19:05,660 You get aid from a fucking water fountain 646 00:19:05,660 --> 00:19:07,820 that's been in the woods for like 10 years? 647 00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:11,020 I've never seen a water fountain in the woods. 648 00:19:11,020 --> 00:19:13,020 And I don't think aid spreads in that way. 649 00:19:13,020 --> 00:19:16,500 But I get the idea. 650 00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:18,020 I mean, what, you can't get aid? 651 00:19:18,020 --> 00:19:19,620 Hold on, hold on, wait a minute. 652 00:19:19,620 --> 00:19:21,460 Hold on, just break it down. 653 00:19:21,460 --> 00:19:22,300 How do you think you get aid? 654 00:19:22,300 --> 00:19:23,740 You don't get aid from a water fountain. 655 00:19:23,740 --> 00:19:24,580 No, let me tell you what. 656 00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:25,700 So let's say there was a dude with aid 657 00:19:25,700 --> 00:19:27,260 and he just got bit by a bear or something. 658 00:19:27,260 --> 00:19:28,460 He's like, oh shit, I need some water. 659 00:19:28,460 --> 00:19:29,380 He's drinking it. 660 00:19:29,380 --> 00:19:31,820 And then like nobody knows that he drunk out of it. 661 00:19:31,820 --> 00:19:33,780 And a little dash of that, something got on there. 662 00:19:33,780 --> 00:19:35,300 And then somebody else be like, I'm thirsty. 663 00:19:35,300 --> 00:19:36,140 Now they got aid. 664 00:19:36,140 --> 00:19:38,340 I mean, it wouldn't last that long. 665 00:19:38,340 --> 00:19:39,180 Okay. 666 00:19:39,180 --> 00:19:40,020 Oh. 667 00:19:40,020 --> 00:19:40,860 Well. 668 00:19:40,860 --> 00:19:42,860 This isn't the problem we need to address. 669 00:19:42,860 --> 00:19:43,740 Right now. 670 00:19:43,740 --> 00:19:47,580 He said a man in the wilderness with aids 671 00:19:47,580 --> 00:19:50,500 gets bitten by a bear and finds a water fountain 672 00:19:50,500 --> 00:19:53,860 in the middle of the woods after being mauled by a bear. 673 00:19:53,860 --> 00:19:55,020 He's like, I want a drink of water. 674 00:19:55,020 --> 00:19:57,580 And a little dash of that something 675 00:19:57,580 --> 00:19:59,860 gets on the spigot of the water fountain. 676 00:19:59,860 --> 00:20:01,700 And then you get aid. 677 00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,740 There's multiple problems with that. 678 00:20:03,740 --> 00:20:06,580 I mean, we can break that whole thing down layer by layer, 679 00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:09,260 point out all the falsehoods and inaccuracies, 680 00:20:10,300 --> 00:20:11,580 but you want to focus on, 681 00:20:11,580 --> 00:20:13,540 it doesn't live that long. 682 00:20:13,540 --> 00:20:15,220 Aids doesn't live that long. 683 00:20:15,220 --> 00:20:16,060 I don't know, man. 684 00:20:16,060 --> 00:20:16,900 In the open air though. 685 00:20:16,900 --> 00:20:17,940 True. 686 00:20:17,940 --> 00:20:19,660 Yeah, but I don't think that's the issue. 687 00:20:19,660 --> 00:20:21,500 Yeah, no, there would be no water fountain in the woods. 688 00:20:21,500 --> 00:20:23,260 It's just all around crazy. 689 00:20:23,260 --> 00:20:26,540 You got like a LK-255 out there, man. 690 00:20:26,540 --> 00:20:28,260 What the fuck is that? 691 00:20:28,260 --> 00:20:29,100 Yeah, I don't know. 692 00:20:29,100 --> 00:20:30,700 Your model's a fucking water fountain. 693 00:20:30,700 --> 00:20:31,540 Like LK- 694 00:20:31,540 --> 00:20:32,380 Hold on. 695 00:20:32,380 --> 00:20:34,900 Did you just spit out a model of a water fountain? 696 00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:36,420 Brandon, look that up, dude. 697 00:20:36,420 --> 00:20:41,420 Look up, look up at LK-M255. 698 00:20:42,020 --> 00:20:43,540 There you go. 699 00:20:43,540 --> 00:20:47,260 See, this probably isn't the model that y'all had, 700 00:20:47,260 --> 00:20:49,100 but this is what we had. 701 00:20:49,100 --> 00:20:50,460 Go to the Discord one. 702 00:20:50,460 --> 00:20:52,020 Okay. 703 00:20:52,020 --> 00:20:53,820 All right, you said it's called a MK- 704 00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:55,620 LK. LK. 705 00:20:55,620 --> 00:20:56,980 E-L- 706 00:20:56,980 --> 00:20:57,820 You said E-L? 707 00:20:57,820 --> 00:20:58,660 E-L. 708 00:20:58,660 --> 00:20:59,500 Hold up. 709 00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:00,540 E-L. 710 00:21:00,540 --> 00:21:01,540 K-A-Y. 711 00:21:01,540 --> 00:21:03,340 K-A-Y. 712 00:21:03,340 --> 00:21:04,220 Space. 713 00:21:04,220 --> 00:21:05,060 Space. 714 00:21:05,060 --> 00:21:06,620 M-255. 715 00:21:06,620 --> 00:21:07,460 M-255. 716 00:21:10,300 --> 00:21:12,100 Here we go, dude. 717 00:21:12,100 --> 00:21:13,780 How the fuck do you know that? 718 00:21:15,060 --> 00:21:18,100 I'm telling you, this is the white water fountain. 719 00:21:18,100 --> 00:21:20,580 I don't know what y'all probably had to see, 255. 720 00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:22,420 I don't know. 721 00:21:22,420 --> 00:21:23,380 Hell yeah, man. 722 00:21:23,380 --> 00:21:24,220 What the fuck? 723 00:21:24,220 --> 00:21:25,060 That's a sink, Brandon. 724 00:21:25,060 --> 00:21:25,900 Yeah, that's a sink. 725 00:21:25,900 --> 00:21:29,460 And also, who would pay $900 for just that? 726 00:21:30,300 --> 00:21:31,500 You could make that, man. 727 00:21:31,500 --> 00:21:32,540 Just the right man, Brandon. 728 00:21:32,540 --> 00:21:33,380 Yep. 729 00:21:33,380 --> 00:21:34,220 Good. 730 00:21:34,220 --> 00:21:35,740 Go back again. 731 00:21:35,740 --> 00:21:36,780 Hold up. 732 00:21:36,780 --> 00:21:37,620 Hold up. 733 00:21:37,620 --> 00:21:38,460 Hey. 734 00:21:40,020 --> 00:21:41,220 Okay, here it is. 735 00:21:41,220 --> 00:21:42,420 Yes, that one, dude. 736 00:21:42,420 --> 00:21:43,460 It's my favorite. 737 00:21:43,460 --> 00:21:46,100 Yeah, that's the one that was near the place I had to clean up. 738 00:21:46,100 --> 00:21:46,940 It's my fucking favorite. 739 00:21:46,940 --> 00:21:48,420 Hold on, the shit you had to clean up? 740 00:21:48,420 --> 00:21:49,660 Yep, this is the exact one. 741 00:21:49,660 --> 00:21:50,500 That's literally the exact one. 742 00:21:50,500 --> 00:21:51,340 Hell yeah, man. 743 00:21:51,340 --> 00:21:52,180 Hold on, this shit in there? 744 00:21:52,180 --> 00:21:53,900 No, no, I was saying it was right there. 745 00:21:53,900 --> 00:21:55,900 They had one right next to it. 746 00:21:55,900 --> 00:21:56,980 I remember like it was yesterday. 747 00:21:56,980 --> 00:21:58,540 That is the, make sure you say the pitch. 748 00:21:58,540 --> 00:22:00,940 That is the OG water fountain. 749 00:22:00,940 --> 00:22:02,260 Hey, can you bookmark that, Brandon? 750 00:22:02,260 --> 00:22:04,340 That's a decent price, dude. 751 00:22:04,340 --> 00:22:05,180 Shit, hell yeah. 752 00:22:05,180 --> 00:22:06,020 558. 753 00:22:06,020 --> 00:22:07,460 Is this download right here? 754 00:22:07,460 --> 00:22:08,300 Mm-hmm. 755 00:22:08,300 --> 00:22:09,500 Fucking good. 756 00:22:09,500 --> 00:22:10,700 Sorry, guys, we're having trouble. 757 00:22:10,700 --> 00:22:12,700 We're having technical difficulty. 758 00:22:12,700 --> 00:22:13,780 I didn't even fucking say that word. 759 00:22:13,780 --> 00:22:15,140 Drink, we're having a drinking game 760 00:22:15,140 --> 00:22:16,860 every time I mispronounce a word, 761 00:22:16,860 --> 00:22:18,500 every time Brandon gets molested, 762 00:22:18,500 --> 00:22:20,180 and then every time. 763 00:22:20,180 --> 00:22:21,020 I bring up race. 764 00:22:21,020 --> 00:22:21,860 Yeah, yeah. 765 00:22:21,860 --> 00:22:23,180 You'll be dead by the end of this price. 766 00:22:23,180 --> 00:22:25,020 Is that minimized? 767 00:22:25,020 --> 00:22:25,860 Huh? 768 00:22:25,860 --> 00:22:26,940 Is that minimized right there? 769 00:22:26,940 --> 00:22:28,540 No, go to the green one first. 770 00:22:28,540 --> 00:22:30,180 To the right, yeah. 771 00:22:30,180 --> 00:22:31,100 Exit full screen. 772 00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:33,780 And Jake, every time he just mentions women 773 00:22:33,780 --> 00:22:34,980 out of the blue. 774 00:22:34,980 --> 00:22:35,820 Something about women. 775 00:22:35,820 --> 00:22:38,500 Dude, dude, Jake would not let it go. 776 00:22:38,500 --> 00:22:39,740 We were just sitting here. 777 00:22:39,740 --> 00:22:42,460 We were talking, I mean, I was editing a podcast, right? 778 00:22:42,460 --> 00:22:45,020 And we'll be sitting here talking about something 779 00:22:45,020 --> 00:22:45,980 that happened on the episode. 780 00:22:45,980 --> 00:22:47,020 It was his episode. 781 00:22:47,020 --> 00:22:48,660 And then he'll be just like, 782 00:22:48,660 --> 00:22:50,700 I'm like, yeah, ain't this crazy? 783 00:22:50,700 --> 00:22:52,020 He's like, yeah, yeah, yeah, man, 784 00:22:52,020 --> 00:22:54,220 you can't talk to women outside anymore. 785 00:22:54,220 --> 00:22:55,060 What? 786 00:22:55,060 --> 00:22:55,900 Everybody thinks you're weird. 787 00:22:55,900 --> 00:22:56,740 Yeah, everybody thinks you're weird. 788 00:22:56,740 --> 00:22:58,340 That's how we've done it for thousands of years. 789 00:22:58,340 --> 00:22:59,660 And now just because the culture says 790 00:22:59,660 --> 00:23:02,180 you wanna do it online and do Tinder and all that bullshit, 791 00:23:02,180 --> 00:23:04,740 now I can't talk to women in public because I'm weird? 792 00:23:04,740 --> 00:23:05,940 You guys are the weird ones. 793 00:23:05,940 --> 00:23:06,780 Yes. 794 00:23:06,780 --> 00:23:07,620 I love it. 795 00:23:07,620 --> 00:23:08,940 This is exactly what he said. 796 00:23:08,940 --> 00:23:09,900 I love it, dude. 797 00:23:09,900 --> 00:23:11,180 I'll say this. 798 00:23:11,180 --> 00:23:14,740 Before I had my fiance, I used to be just like him. 799 00:23:14,740 --> 00:23:15,580 I literally agreed. 800 00:23:15,580 --> 00:23:16,940 I'm like, man, you can't say shit now. 801 00:23:16,940 --> 00:23:18,940 You can't go up and be like, hey, hold the door. 802 00:23:18,940 --> 00:23:19,780 None of that. 803 00:23:19,780 --> 00:23:23,460 You can't even be like nice hair, nice bod. 804 00:23:23,460 --> 00:23:24,580 You can't do that shit anymore. 805 00:23:24,580 --> 00:23:25,700 Well, you can't say nice bod. 806 00:23:25,700 --> 00:23:26,540 You can't do that. 807 00:23:26,540 --> 00:23:27,380 No, you can't do that one. 808 00:23:27,380 --> 00:23:29,180 But you can say the rest of them. 809 00:23:29,180 --> 00:23:31,780 If you're, my thing is the grocery store. 810 00:23:31,780 --> 00:23:32,620 Oh, shit. 811 00:23:32,620 --> 00:23:36,340 And if you can tell if they're just being polite 812 00:23:36,340 --> 00:23:37,620 and like, oh, thank you, 813 00:23:37,620 --> 00:23:39,820 or if they're actually engaging in what you, 814 00:23:39,820 --> 00:23:40,660 you have the chips. 815 00:23:40,660 --> 00:23:42,100 But some people can't. 816 00:23:42,100 --> 00:23:42,940 What do you mean? 817 00:23:42,940 --> 00:23:44,180 Some people cannot differentiate, 818 00:23:44,180 --> 00:23:45,500 oh, she's just being nice. 819 00:23:45,500 --> 00:23:46,740 Some people can't take the hint. 820 00:23:46,740 --> 00:23:47,580 Oh, yeah, some people can't. 821 00:23:47,580 --> 00:23:48,420 Yeah, yeah. 822 00:23:48,420 --> 00:23:49,580 That's a real thing. 823 00:23:49,580 --> 00:23:50,420 Yeah, yeah. 824 00:23:50,420 --> 00:23:51,740 I don't know, maybe Jake can't take the hint, dude. 825 00:23:51,740 --> 00:23:52,580 I don't know. 826 00:23:52,580 --> 00:23:53,580 I've seen that. 827 00:23:53,580 --> 00:23:54,620 I think he could take the hint. 828 00:23:54,620 --> 00:23:56,900 He just wants to try to drive on and see. 829 00:23:56,900 --> 00:23:58,500 It's the thrill of the kill. 830 00:23:58,500 --> 00:24:00,300 You're telling me there was a chance. 831 00:24:01,820 --> 00:24:02,660 Jake has also been. 832 00:24:02,660 --> 00:24:04,220 What's all this one in a million talk? 833 00:24:04,220 --> 00:24:09,220 Hey, dude, every probability does not make sense, right? 834 00:24:10,860 --> 00:24:14,420 The whole field of statistics can be completely nullified 835 00:24:14,420 --> 00:24:17,980 by the fact that everything has a 50-50 chance of happening 836 00:24:17,980 --> 00:24:19,940 because it either happens or it doesn't. 837 00:24:20,980 --> 00:24:22,460 Everything is 50-50. 838 00:24:22,460 --> 00:24:23,300 No. 839 00:24:23,300 --> 00:24:25,620 That's what gamblers don't understand, dude. 840 00:24:25,620 --> 00:24:26,860 No, that's wrong. 841 00:24:26,860 --> 00:24:27,700 Everything's not. Everything's not. 842 00:24:27,700 --> 00:24:28,540 Everything's not 50-50. 843 00:24:28,540 --> 00:24:31,700 The odds of Brandon dying right now, 50-50. 844 00:24:31,700 --> 00:24:32,540 No, no, I don't think 50-50. 845 00:24:32,540 --> 00:24:35,700 Because he's either gonna live or he's either gonna die. 846 00:24:35,700 --> 00:24:36,700 I wanna live. No. 847 00:24:36,700 --> 00:24:38,140 It's a controlled environment. 848 00:24:38,140 --> 00:24:40,260 I mean, him dying right in the next, 849 00:24:40,260 --> 00:24:43,100 let's say in the next hour is 50-50. 850 00:24:43,100 --> 00:24:44,180 You're saying that? 851 00:24:44,180 --> 00:24:45,460 Yes. No. 852 00:24:45,460 --> 00:24:47,380 Or any. 853 00:24:47,380 --> 00:24:49,900 Well, his chances of dying are 100% 854 00:24:49,900 --> 00:24:51,100 because everybody's gonna die. 855 00:24:51,100 --> 00:24:51,940 Yeah. 856 00:24:53,140 --> 00:24:54,220 Everybody dies, man. 857 00:24:54,220 --> 00:24:55,060 Yeah, yeah, everybody dies. 858 00:24:55,060 --> 00:24:57,860 I'm a Hamid. My bad, dude. 859 00:24:57,860 --> 00:24:58,700 Okay. 860 00:24:58,700 --> 00:25:01,020 I got 72 virgins, so I'm ready to go. 861 00:25:02,020 --> 00:25:03,340 You get them in the afterlife. 862 00:25:03,340 --> 00:25:04,780 They had to die too to get there, man. 863 00:25:04,780 --> 00:25:05,620 Yeah, that's what I'm saying. 864 00:25:05,620 --> 00:25:06,780 If I go, I'm all right. 865 00:25:07,780 --> 00:25:10,740 No, dude, everything is a 50-50 chance, bro. 866 00:25:10,740 --> 00:25:11,580 Think about it. 867 00:25:11,580 --> 00:25:12,420 No, it's not. 868 00:25:12,420 --> 00:25:14,260 Because it either happens or it doesn't. 869 00:25:14,260 --> 00:25:15,100 There's only two things that are gonna happen. 870 00:25:15,100 --> 00:25:16,660 So there's a 50-50 chance a missile 871 00:25:16,660 --> 00:25:17,940 comes through this window right here. 872 00:25:17,940 --> 00:25:18,780 100%, dude. 873 00:25:18,780 --> 00:25:20,580 No, it's not. 874 00:25:20,580 --> 00:25:23,980 Because it's either gonna, so what are the two options? 875 00:25:23,980 --> 00:25:25,700 It either happens. The missile comes in or it doesn't. 876 00:25:25,700 --> 00:25:27,060 Or it doesn't. Yeah. 877 00:25:27,060 --> 00:25:29,660 One or two of those things are gonna happen. 878 00:25:29,660 --> 00:25:31,740 So it's a 50-50 chance 879 00:25:31,740 --> 00:25:33,300 that one of those things is gonna happen. 880 00:25:33,300 --> 00:25:38,100 The odds of it not happening is probably 99.999, 881 00:25:38,100 --> 00:25:39,620 not probably, but more than that. 882 00:25:39,620 --> 00:25:41,220 What are you basing that on? 883 00:25:41,220 --> 00:25:43,300 How many fucking rockets went through windows 884 00:25:43,300 --> 00:25:45,300 in America in southern Huntsville? 885 00:25:45,300 --> 00:25:47,580 I know one hit East Palestine, Ohio 886 00:25:47,580 --> 00:25:49,940 and blew up that fucking train. 887 00:25:49,940 --> 00:25:50,940 Is that Huntsville? 888 00:25:52,060 --> 00:25:53,380 Is that through a window? 889 00:25:53,380 --> 00:25:54,500 It might be, dude. 890 00:25:54,500 --> 00:25:55,900 It's a 50-50 chance. 891 00:25:55,900 --> 00:25:57,220 It might happen, dude. 892 00:25:57,220 --> 00:25:58,300 Conspiracy. 893 00:25:59,300 --> 00:26:00,260 I agree with it, though. 894 00:26:00,260 --> 00:26:02,380 I mean, hold on, let me tell you something. 895 00:26:02,380 --> 00:26:04,220 I don't know what you mean. 896 00:26:04,220 --> 00:26:06,180 I knew Brandon was gonna have my back on this. 897 00:26:06,180 --> 00:26:07,300 Hold up. 898 00:26:07,300 --> 00:26:08,940 So what I'm saying here is, 899 00:26:10,300 --> 00:26:13,100 I feel like it is 50 feet, but situational. 900 00:26:13,100 --> 00:26:18,300 Like if you in a good area, the 50 turns to 75 and then- 901 00:26:18,300 --> 00:26:20,540 So the bad areas have rockets going through windows. 902 00:26:20,540 --> 00:26:22,140 Well, let's say a different country 903 00:26:22,140 --> 00:26:23,700 that's more likely to it. 904 00:26:23,700 --> 00:26:24,620 A place that's more likely. 905 00:26:24,620 --> 00:26:27,100 But if you in a situation, let's say you in Antarctica, 906 00:26:27,100 --> 00:26:30,940 probably that 50 just turned to 10 out of. 907 00:26:30,940 --> 00:26:32,980 So you're agreeing with me that it's not- 908 00:26:32,980 --> 00:26:33,980 I'm agreeing with you, but I'm like, 909 00:26:33,980 --> 00:26:34,820 yes, it depends where you at. 910 00:26:34,820 --> 00:26:35,660 There's still a one in 10 chance 911 00:26:35,660 --> 00:26:36,780 you're getting hit with a missile in Antarctica. 912 00:26:36,780 --> 00:26:41,780 It's very, very, very slim like that. 913 00:26:42,020 --> 00:26:43,060 Very slim. 914 00:26:43,060 --> 00:26:43,900 Do it again. 915 00:26:43,900 --> 00:26:44,740 How slow? 916 00:26:44,740 --> 00:26:45,580 Very slim. 917 00:26:45,580 --> 00:26:46,420 That one? Okay. 918 00:26:47,540 --> 00:26:49,420 That's what I was doing in the back of the bus when I was a kid. 919 00:26:49,420 --> 00:26:50,260 Very slim. 920 00:26:50,260 --> 00:26:53,580 So you're saying here, so you're saying in East Palestine. 921 00:26:54,500 --> 00:26:56,220 What you gonna pretend that you didn't say that? 922 00:26:56,220 --> 00:26:57,460 What'd he say? 923 00:26:57,460 --> 00:26:58,780 Brandon, can you repeat what he did? 924 00:26:58,780 --> 00:27:00,700 I was like, back when I was in the back of the bus 925 00:27:00,700 --> 00:27:02,700 saying very thin. 926 00:27:02,700 --> 00:27:04,340 But I didn't know what I was talking about. 927 00:27:04,340 --> 00:27:05,340 What? 928 00:27:05,340 --> 00:27:06,980 I used to, so back in the day, 929 00:27:06,980 --> 00:27:09,700 I didn't know that measuring your thing. 930 00:27:09,700 --> 00:27:11,340 I thought it was like this. 931 00:27:11,340 --> 00:27:13,060 People used to say, so they would do this. 932 00:27:13,060 --> 00:27:14,980 I'd be like, you got a wide ass dick, man. 933 00:27:14,980 --> 00:27:16,340 This mind is like this. 934 00:27:17,260 --> 00:27:19,180 So that's what I used to do in the, 935 00:27:19,180 --> 00:27:20,980 before football games and shit. 936 00:27:21,860 --> 00:27:22,700 What? 937 00:27:22,700 --> 00:27:24,020 Yeah, man. 938 00:27:24,020 --> 00:27:25,980 Everybody would be talking on the bus and that. 939 00:27:25,980 --> 00:27:27,020 I was just like, okay. 940 00:27:27,020 --> 00:27:28,580 Time out, time out, time out. 941 00:27:28,580 --> 00:27:30,260 We have to take it back instead. 942 00:27:30,260 --> 00:27:31,860 Slag on the pit. 943 00:27:31,860 --> 00:27:34,780 So you're talking about your measuring your dick 944 00:27:34,780 --> 00:27:36,460 in the back of. 945 00:27:36,460 --> 00:27:38,340 So I was in the football, but they talking. 946 00:27:38,340 --> 00:27:39,540 I was like, what are y'all talking about? 947 00:27:39,540 --> 00:27:41,020 That's too damn wide, man. 948 00:27:41,020 --> 00:27:42,940 It's supposed to be like this, right? 949 00:27:42,940 --> 00:27:43,780 Like that. 950 00:27:43,780 --> 00:27:45,100 It's not supposed to be the wind. 951 00:27:45,100 --> 00:27:46,620 You do see what he's saying though, right? 952 00:27:46,620 --> 00:27:48,700 Yeah, I thought, I don't know why, when I was a kid, 953 00:27:48,700 --> 00:27:51,900 I thought they meant the dick was this big, like wide. 954 00:27:51,900 --> 00:27:52,740 Okay, okay. 955 00:27:52,740 --> 00:27:55,380 And then the length, I thought the length was like that. 956 00:27:55,380 --> 00:27:57,020 So I was like, yo. 957 00:27:57,020 --> 00:28:00,820 When I was younger, it's like eight, nine, 10 maybe. 958 00:28:00,820 --> 00:28:02,580 I don't know what you're doing with your fingers. 959 00:28:02,580 --> 00:28:03,420 You don't get it. 960 00:28:03,420 --> 00:28:04,260 So you know. 961 00:28:04,260 --> 00:28:05,080 I get what you're saying. 962 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:05,920 I get what you're saying. 963 00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:08,180 I just don't get the finger method. 964 00:28:09,060 --> 00:28:10,580 So what does this mean? 965 00:28:10,580 --> 00:28:11,420 This is the length. 966 00:28:11,420 --> 00:28:12,940 That's the penis. 967 00:28:12,940 --> 00:28:13,780 This is the penis. 968 00:28:13,780 --> 00:28:14,620 That's the penis. 969 00:28:14,620 --> 00:28:15,460 And this is. 970 00:28:15,460 --> 00:28:16,280 The length. 971 00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:17,120 This is the width. 972 00:28:17,120 --> 00:28:19,780 He's saying like, if the penis is like this, 973 00:28:19,780 --> 00:28:22,180 this is the length and this is the girth. 974 00:28:22,180 --> 00:28:23,180 And this is the penis being measured. 975 00:28:23,180 --> 00:28:24,020 He gotta reverse. 976 00:28:24,020 --> 00:28:24,860 I thought it was swollen. 977 00:28:24,860 --> 00:28:25,680 Yeah. 978 00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:26,520 I thought they were talking about swollen. 979 00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:27,360 But why this? 980 00:28:27,360 --> 00:28:28,700 He was using the wrong formula. 981 00:28:28,700 --> 00:28:29,540 I'd never seen it before. 982 00:28:29,540 --> 00:28:31,620 I still don't get why you're doing this. 983 00:28:31,620 --> 00:28:34,500 Because that's how he's imagining it in his mind. 984 00:28:34,500 --> 00:28:37,780 He's imagining his penis and him going like this. 985 00:28:37,780 --> 00:28:40,540 When I was younger, I was like, this is what it, 986 00:28:40,540 --> 00:28:42,220 I would like it to be like that. 987 00:28:42,220 --> 00:28:44,740 So when I saw them do this, I thought they were like, 988 00:28:44,740 --> 00:28:45,580 this is the length. 989 00:28:45,580 --> 00:28:46,420 This is the length. 990 00:28:46,420 --> 00:28:47,260 I get it. 991 00:28:47,260 --> 00:28:49,100 You got everybody at a show. 992 00:28:49,100 --> 00:28:50,660 You guys were gay as hell. 993 00:28:50,660 --> 00:28:51,500 Yeah. 994 00:28:51,500 --> 00:28:52,340 I don't know why they were talking. 995 00:28:52,340 --> 00:28:54,620 I looked, I said, first of all, y'all, 996 00:28:54,620 --> 00:28:55,740 we ain't gonna sit here and act like 997 00:28:55,740 --> 00:28:56,580 it's supposed to look like that. 998 00:28:56,580 --> 00:28:57,780 It's supposed to be like, yeah, it was weird. 999 00:28:57,780 --> 00:28:59,020 You guys weren't pulling them out though. 1000 00:28:59,020 --> 00:28:59,860 Hell nah. 1001 00:28:59,860 --> 00:29:01,660 Okay, you were just like measuring it out. 1002 00:29:01,660 --> 00:29:02,500 Hell nah, man. 1003 00:29:02,500 --> 00:29:03,340 That was the- 1004 00:29:03,340 --> 00:29:05,340 That was the gayest experience you've ever had, Brandon. 1005 00:29:05,340 --> 00:29:06,180 Nope. 1006 00:29:06,180 --> 00:29:07,000 What? 1007 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:07,840 What the fuck? 1008 00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:10,180 I think he just caved. 1009 00:29:10,180 --> 00:29:11,020 Hold on, man. 1010 00:29:11,020 --> 00:29:11,840 Let me think. 1011 00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:12,680 Let me think. 1012 00:29:12,680 --> 00:29:15,100 I guess the weirdest experience I saw. 1013 00:29:15,100 --> 00:29:15,940 You talking about, okay. 1014 00:29:15,940 --> 00:29:16,780 What? 1015 00:29:16,780 --> 00:29:19,620 You talking about the gayest experience you've had. 1016 00:29:19,620 --> 00:29:20,460 I'm talking about gayest. 1017 00:29:20,460 --> 00:29:21,280 Like, the weirdest gayest. 1018 00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:22,120 If you've seen it. 1019 00:29:22,120 --> 00:29:22,960 Okay, well, I've seen- 1020 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:24,820 I guess you can be expected. 1021 00:29:24,820 --> 00:29:27,420 So he had a friend that was mad at his cousin 1022 00:29:27,420 --> 00:29:30,020 and to pay him back, he said, fuck that nigga. 1023 00:29:30,020 --> 00:29:32,460 I'm gonna put my dick hair in his milk. 1024 00:29:32,460 --> 00:29:34,780 And, man, yeah, so he went up to him. 1025 00:29:34,780 --> 00:29:35,620 That ain't even gay. 1026 00:29:35,620 --> 00:29:36,440 That's just nasty. 1027 00:29:36,440 --> 00:29:37,280 It is, and then when he gave it to him, the other- 1028 00:29:37,280 --> 00:29:38,120 It's a crime? 1029 00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:38,940 No. 1030 00:29:38,940 --> 00:29:39,780 Damn crime. 1031 00:29:39,780 --> 00:29:40,620 This is where it gets gay. 1032 00:29:40,620 --> 00:29:41,900 Because I found out it was a crime too. 1033 00:29:41,900 --> 00:29:43,740 I was like, hell nah, but this is where it gets gay. 1034 00:29:43,740 --> 00:29:45,580 His other cousin was like, to pay him back, 1035 00:29:45,580 --> 00:29:46,980 I'm gonna do the same thing. 1036 00:29:48,740 --> 00:29:49,900 So he did the same thing. 1037 00:29:49,900 --> 00:29:51,540 He cut his hair and put it in there too. 1038 00:29:51,540 --> 00:29:52,380 Okay, but- 1039 00:29:52,380 --> 00:29:53,200 That's not gay. 1040 00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:54,040 How do you not see it? 1041 00:29:54,040 --> 00:29:55,420 That's disgusting kids. 1042 00:29:55,420 --> 00:29:56,240 They were fair. 1043 00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:57,080 Milk is white. 1044 00:29:57,940 --> 00:29:58,780 Puberty hairs are dark. 1045 00:29:58,780 --> 00:29:59,660 Oh yeah. 1046 00:29:59,660 --> 00:30:00,500 How do you not see it? 1047 00:30:00,500 --> 00:30:01,340 Did they drink it? 1048 00:30:01,340 --> 00:30:02,420 I think they did, man. 1049 00:30:02,420 --> 00:30:03,420 They just, because they were like, 1050 00:30:03,420 --> 00:30:04,260 he was telling me the story. 1051 00:30:04,260 --> 00:30:05,100 We are fighting. 1052 00:30:05,100 --> 00:30:05,920 Okay. 1053 00:30:05,920 --> 00:30:06,760 Hell yeah, that's a fight. 1054 00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:08,260 I just remembered something, dude. 1055 00:30:08,260 --> 00:30:10,540 This is along the same lines as that. 1056 00:30:10,540 --> 00:30:11,760 I'm not gonna drop any names, 1057 00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:13,680 but I knew these dudes in high school, 1058 00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:17,300 where like, jeweling was the biggest thing 1059 00:30:17,300 --> 00:30:18,140 when I was in high school. 1060 00:30:18,140 --> 00:30:18,980 Like having a jewel- 1061 00:30:18,980 --> 00:30:19,800 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1062 00:30:19,800 --> 00:30:22,820 Before they banned all the flavored pods and shit. 1063 00:30:22,820 --> 00:30:24,140 Fucking commies. 1064 00:30:24,140 --> 00:30:25,140 Fuck them, dude. 1065 00:30:25,140 --> 00:30:26,700 I thought this was, you know, free market, 1066 00:30:26,700 --> 00:30:30,540 but they took an empty jewel pod, 1067 00:30:30,540 --> 00:30:33,060 and this dude like jerked off 1068 00:30:33,060 --> 00:30:36,580 and put his cum in the jewel pod, 1069 00:30:36,580 --> 00:30:38,460 and let his boy hit it. 1070 00:30:38,460 --> 00:30:39,300 Oh no. 1071 00:30:39,300 --> 00:30:42,700 So he like, vaped his cum through a jewel. 1072 00:30:42,700 --> 00:30:44,100 The amount of ass-whoopens that- 1073 00:30:44,100 --> 00:30:45,020 That's what I'm saying. 1074 00:30:45,020 --> 00:30:47,580 Every time I saw him, I would try to kill him. 1075 00:30:47,580 --> 00:30:48,420 I- 1076 00:30:48,420 --> 00:30:49,260 With my fist. 1077 00:30:49,260 --> 00:30:51,620 How do you think it's something that diabolical, bro? 1078 00:30:51,620 --> 00:30:52,620 These people are sick. 1079 00:30:52,620 --> 00:30:53,940 That's a serial killer kind of thing. 1080 00:30:53,940 --> 00:30:56,860 That's some like Nazi concentration camp, 1081 00:30:56,860 --> 00:30:59,020 weird experimental type shit. 1082 00:30:59,020 --> 00:31:00,460 Vaping semen. 1083 00:31:00,460 --> 00:31:02,100 Do you think a girl could get pregnant 1084 00:31:02,100 --> 00:31:04,300 if she vaped the semen? 1085 00:31:04,300 --> 00:31:05,460 No. 1086 00:31:05,460 --> 00:31:08,820 That'd be the most 2024 thing ever, dude. 1087 00:31:08,820 --> 00:31:09,820 Vape baby? 1088 00:31:09,820 --> 00:31:11,620 I'm sure some girls try to- 1089 00:31:11,620 --> 00:31:13,900 Some girls try to say that's what it was. 1090 00:31:13,900 --> 00:31:14,940 I got it. 1091 00:31:14,940 --> 00:31:16,260 Oh, I vaped, it's okay, honey. 1092 00:31:16,260 --> 00:31:17,100 Baby, baby. 1093 00:31:17,100 --> 00:31:17,940 Oh, you vaped? 1094 00:31:17,940 --> 00:31:18,780 That's why he's black. 1095 00:31:18,780 --> 00:31:19,620 She- 1096 00:31:19,620 --> 00:31:20,460 That's okay. 1097 00:31:20,460 --> 00:31:23,860 She blows the guy, and then she hits the vape afterwards, 1098 00:31:23,860 --> 00:31:27,580 and it like causes the, causes it to like steam or whatever, 1099 00:31:27,580 --> 00:31:29,580 and she inhales it through the lungs. 1100 00:31:29,580 --> 00:31:32,480 There's a 50-50 chance this is gonna happen, 1101 00:31:32,480 --> 00:31:34,220 because it either happens or it doesn't, dude. 1102 00:31:34,220 --> 00:31:36,780 No, it's not a 50, it's a 0% chance that happens, 1103 00:31:36,780 --> 00:31:37,620 because that's not how it works. 1104 00:31:37,620 --> 00:31:38,660 You have a 50-50 chance of getting pregnant 1105 00:31:38,660 --> 00:31:40,420 through a semen vape, dude. 1106 00:31:40,420 --> 00:31:43,580 I guarantee you, I'll do a fuckin' science project on this. 1107 00:31:43,580 --> 00:31:46,020 For next week, I'll have a fuckin' trifold right here. 1108 00:31:46,020 --> 00:31:46,860 I need to see it. 1109 00:31:46,860 --> 00:31:48,260 And a jewel full of cum. 1110 00:31:48,260 --> 00:31:49,500 Oh my gosh. 1111 00:31:49,500 --> 00:31:51,660 And we will get Kim. 1112 00:31:51,660 --> 00:31:54,780 Kim's gonna be on the next episode. 1113 00:31:54,780 --> 00:31:55,620 Shout out, hey! 1114 00:31:55,620 --> 00:31:57,320 But she's the perfect control group, 1115 00:31:57,320 --> 00:31:59,540 because you know she's not getting pregnant any other way. 1116 00:31:59,540 --> 00:32:01,100 Kim would fuck you up. 1117 00:32:01,100 --> 00:32:01,940 Yeah, she would be. 1118 00:32:01,940 --> 00:32:03,460 If you even proposed this. 1119 00:32:03,460 --> 00:32:04,300 Yeah. 1120 00:32:04,300 --> 00:32:08,420 I would never, it's all comical, you know? 1121 00:32:08,420 --> 00:32:09,980 She's gonna be watching this like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. 1122 00:32:09,980 --> 00:32:10,820 I just get excited. 1123 00:32:10,820 --> 00:32:11,940 What we doin' over there next week? 1124 00:32:11,940 --> 00:32:14,180 I just get excited, you know? 1125 00:32:14,180 --> 00:32:17,580 Progressive science really gets me going, dude. 1126 00:32:17,580 --> 00:32:18,620 It gets me hyped, dude. 1127 00:32:18,620 --> 00:32:21,340 You know what, I'm gonna tell both of y'all, 1128 00:32:21,340 --> 00:32:23,660 the craziest gay thing I've ever saw in my life. 1129 00:32:23,660 --> 00:32:24,480 What's comin'? 1130 00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:26,340 One of them, this dude, so we were in a wrestling camp, 1131 00:32:26,340 --> 00:32:28,100 and this dude would always be like, 1132 00:32:28,100 --> 00:32:29,420 talkin' so bad about gay stuff. 1133 00:32:29,420 --> 00:32:30,900 He's like, man, fuck that gay shit. 1134 00:32:30,900 --> 00:32:32,980 And then one time we walked into the bathroom, 1135 00:32:32,980 --> 00:32:35,500 we were like, why is this nigga doin' helicopters 1136 00:32:35,500 --> 00:32:37,980 button-naked in front of everybody? 1137 00:32:37,980 --> 00:32:39,140 That was fucked up. 1138 00:32:39,140 --> 00:32:40,340 We were like, that's weird, man. 1139 00:32:40,340 --> 00:32:41,660 You can't be doin' that. 1140 00:32:41,660 --> 00:32:43,100 It's that internal hatred. 1141 00:32:43,100 --> 00:32:45,940 Yeah, and then we found out that day, 1142 00:32:45,940 --> 00:32:48,620 and I used to always wait till everybody was done, 1143 00:32:48,620 --> 00:32:49,700 so I learned later. 1144 00:32:49,700 --> 00:32:50,780 I mean, one time I was in there, 1145 00:32:50,780 --> 00:32:52,660 and I left nigga like, while you wait till everybody leave, 1146 00:32:52,660 --> 00:32:54,540 I'm like, come on, what y'all seein' my ass? 1147 00:32:54,540 --> 00:32:55,700 What the fuck? 1148 00:32:55,700 --> 00:32:57,180 What did you say, this is in what, wrestling? 1149 00:32:57,180 --> 00:32:58,060 Yeah, it was a wrestling camp. 1150 00:32:58,060 --> 00:32:59,980 Oh, so camp, so you had to stay there all night? 1151 00:32:59,980 --> 00:33:00,820 Yeah, we all stayed there all night. 1152 00:33:00,820 --> 00:33:02,260 Everybody had to shower together. 1153 00:33:02,260 --> 00:33:03,340 Yeah, and stuff. 1154 00:33:03,340 --> 00:33:05,940 Yeah, wrestling camp has to be the gay shit one. 1155 00:33:05,940 --> 00:33:06,780 Yeah, you know. 1156 00:33:06,780 --> 00:33:07,700 What if it wasn't a wrestling camp? 1157 00:33:07,700 --> 00:33:10,860 Straight white guys are the gayest people on the earth. 1158 00:33:10,860 --> 00:33:11,700 Yeah, yeah. 1159 00:33:11,700 --> 00:33:12,900 Sure. 1160 00:33:12,900 --> 00:33:15,300 They always do, yeah. 1161 00:33:15,300 --> 00:33:17,340 Gay people are just gay, you know what I'm sayin'? 1162 00:33:17,340 --> 00:33:22,340 But they do gay shit, and then they hate gay people also. 1163 00:33:22,740 --> 00:33:26,180 I never really ventured much into the gay shit, 1164 00:33:26,180 --> 00:33:28,980 but that was because of my grandparents. 1165 00:33:28,980 --> 00:33:30,940 I asked my grandma as a joke one time. 1166 00:33:30,940 --> 00:33:34,660 I was like, would you rather me be gay or murder someone? 1167 00:33:34,660 --> 00:33:36,700 And with zero hesitation, she said, 1168 00:33:36,700 --> 00:33:39,420 I'd rather you take 10 souls than corrupt your own. 1169 00:33:40,580 --> 00:33:42,660 Dang, grab one on plane, okay? 1170 00:33:42,660 --> 00:33:45,740 So, you know, I like havin' a house to live in. 1171 00:33:45,740 --> 00:33:47,660 I don't wanna be a hunter gatherer or whatever. 1172 00:33:47,660 --> 00:33:49,700 They go home nowadays, too. 1173 00:33:49,700 --> 00:33:51,700 I'd like a place to stay, man. 1174 00:33:51,700 --> 00:33:53,300 Oh, shit. 1175 00:33:53,300 --> 00:33:54,980 All right, you guys ready to watch some clips? 1176 00:33:54,980 --> 00:33:55,820 Hell yeah, dude. 1177 00:33:56,780 --> 00:33:57,700 Clip of the week! 1178 00:33:59,100 --> 00:34:00,140 Fuck yeah, dude. 1179 00:34:00,140 --> 00:34:07,140 Fuck yeah, dude, nice. 1180 00:34:07,140 --> 00:34:08,660 Go! 1181 00:34:08,660 --> 00:34:11,340 Yeah, I get this thing where a lot of girls ask 1182 00:34:11,340 --> 00:34:13,380 if they can peg me. 1183 00:34:13,380 --> 00:34:14,220 Solid. 1184 00:34:14,220 --> 00:34:16,660 I don't know what about me seems so penetrable. 1185 00:34:16,660 --> 00:34:18,460 Like, I wanna be penetrated. 1186 00:34:18,460 --> 00:34:20,500 It makes me really insecure. 1187 00:34:20,500 --> 00:34:22,020 And it's happened so much, 1188 00:34:22,020 --> 00:34:24,860 I've crafted the perfect response to this question. 1189 00:34:24,860 --> 00:34:27,740 So the girl will be like, would you ever let me peg you? 1190 00:34:27,740 --> 00:34:29,100 And I'll be like, no. 1191 00:34:29,100 --> 00:34:31,620 I feel like you would have weak stroking. 1192 00:34:31,620 --> 00:34:33,380 That true? 1193 00:34:33,380 --> 00:34:36,340 You know, your hip flexors aren't gonna activate. 1194 00:34:36,340 --> 00:34:38,260 You don't know the patterns, dude. 1195 00:34:39,380 --> 00:34:42,820 You're not gonna hit my shit right at the end of the day. 1196 00:34:42,820 --> 00:34:44,500 My body's a temple. 1197 00:34:44,500 --> 00:34:46,900 I can control who enters. 1198 00:34:49,700 --> 00:34:50,660 Thanks, man. 1199 00:34:50,660 --> 00:34:51,500 Thank you. 1200 00:34:52,380 --> 00:34:54,660 Oh, man, I'm always there for you. 1201 00:34:55,620 --> 00:34:57,860 Said, fuck you. 1202 00:34:57,860 --> 00:34:59,420 How dare she, man? 1203 00:34:59,420 --> 00:35:01,660 She probably does not have weak stroke game. 1204 00:35:02,780 --> 00:35:05,900 She does not seem like a tender lover if she had a penis. 1205 00:35:05,900 --> 00:35:07,460 Oh, yeah, she probably goes hard. 1206 00:35:09,460 --> 00:35:11,860 That's one of those jokes that I wrote 1207 00:35:11,860 --> 00:35:13,820 that I want people to like really bad, 1208 00:35:13,820 --> 00:35:15,420 but I don't know if they're going to. 1209 00:35:15,420 --> 00:35:16,260 I need a better follow-up. 1210 00:35:16,260 --> 00:35:17,220 She only did it like twice. 1211 00:35:17,220 --> 00:35:18,060 Yeah, yeah. 1212 00:35:18,060 --> 00:35:19,060 I need a better follow-up. 1213 00:35:19,060 --> 00:35:19,900 I need more on it. 1214 00:35:19,900 --> 00:35:21,500 Did it work the first time? 1215 00:35:21,500 --> 00:35:23,300 People always laugh when I say, 1216 00:35:23,300 --> 00:35:24,300 I feel like you would have weak stroke game. 1217 00:35:24,300 --> 00:35:25,620 Weak stroke game, right? 1218 00:35:25,620 --> 00:35:26,780 I like the joke, I love it. 1219 00:35:26,780 --> 00:35:29,380 It's funny, but seriously, if you were watching this 1220 00:35:29,380 --> 00:35:31,580 and a girl ever asked to peg you, be like, 1221 00:35:31,580 --> 00:35:34,020 I'm not against the idea of peeing pegged, 1222 00:35:34,020 --> 00:35:35,740 just not by you, because I feel like 1223 00:35:35,740 --> 00:35:37,540 you have weak stroke game. 1224 00:35:37,540 --> 00:35:39,500 That turns women into men. 1225 00:35:39,500 --> 00:35:40,380 It seriously does. 1226 00:35:40,380 --> 00:35:42,140 It activates something in their brain, 1227 00:35:42,140 --> 00:35:44,700 like the Mulan gene or whatever the fuck, 1228 00:35:44,700 --> 00:35:49,700 and they're just so like toxically insecure about this thing 1229 00:35:49,780 --> 00:35:51,020 because they all want to be, 1230 00:35:51,020 --> 00:35:53,260 they secretly want to be good at everything, dude. 1231 00:35:53,260 --> 00:35:54,900 But you can't be good at everything. 1232 00:35:54,900 --> 00:35:56,260 They can't be good at that. 1233 00:35:56,260 --> 00:35:58,060 There's just no way. 1234 00:35:58,060 --> 00:35:59,540 Why do you call lesbians? 1235 00:35:59,540 --> 00:36:01,500 I bet they can go to town. 1236 00:36:01,500 --> 00:36:06,500 Okay, maybe, like, but if you're, I'm 210 pounds. 1237 00:36:06,820 --> 00:36:08,540 I'm a man, bro. 1238 00:36:08,540 --> 00:36:09,940 You gotta be two something to do something. 1239 00:36:09,940 --> 00:36:10,780 You know what I'm saying? 1240 00:36:10,780 --> 00:36:13,420 You're a little 110 pounds scrawny ass 1241 00:36:13,420 --> 00:36:15,860 is not doing anything for me, dude. 1242 00:36:15,860 --> 00:36:19,780 I know, but I know a lot of over 210 pound lesbians 1243 00:36:19,780 --> 00:36:21,660 that will fuck your ass up. 1244 00:36:21,660 --> 00:36:22,500 Spin you around. 1245 00:36:22,500 --> 00:36:23,340 Well, they're lesbians. 1246 00:36:23,340 --> 00:36:25,860 They're lesbians, they have no interest in men. 1247 00:36:25,860 --> 00:36:28,460 I'm saying these straight girls need bi girls. 1248 00:36:28,460 --> 00:36:30,540 Okay, okay, okay, yeah. 1249 00:36:30,540 --> 00:36:32,100 If you say straight girls, then yeah, yeah, 1250 00:36:32,100 --> 00:36:33,100 they don't know what the fuck they're doing. 1251 00:36:33,100 --> 00:36:35,540 But I guarantee a lesbian can dig in your ass. 1252 00:36:35,540 --> 00:36:36,380 Yeah. 1253 00:36:36,380 --> 00:36:37,220 Yeah, right? 1254 00:36:37,220 --> 00:36:39,340 It's like you just fucking lay there. 1255 00:36:39,340 --> 00:36:40,180 When I fuck you, 1256 00:36:40,180 --> 00:36:42,020 you think you're gonna hit my shit right, dude? 1257 00:36:42,020 --> 00:36:43,260 Are you crazy? 1258 00:36:43,260 --> 00:36:44,220 Are you insane? 1259 00:36:44,220 --> 00:36:45,060 Hell yeah. 1260 00:36:45,060 --> 00:36:47,180 Groundhog day, finna get in that hole. 1261 00:36:47,180 --> 00:36:52,180 Hell yeah, dude. 1262 00:36:52,180 --> 00:36:53,000 I couldn't be pegged. 1263 00:36:53,000 --> 00:36:54,740 I have aggressive hemorrhoids. 1264 00:36:54,740 --> 00:36:57,260 Me too, man, I couldn't do that shit either. 1265 00:36:57,260 --> 00:36:58,100 I have hemorrhoids too. 1266 00:36:58,100 --> 00:36:59,660 Yeah, tear me apart. 1267 00:36:59,660 --> 00:37:00,500 The red suit. 1268 00:37:00,500 --> 00:37:01,320 I'm glad we're on this now. 1269 00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:03,100 If I push too hard, I have a problem. 1270 00:37:03,100 --> 00:37:03,940 Same. 1271 00:37:03,940 --> 00:37:06,820 Same here, man, it's horrible shit. 1272 00:37:06,820 --> 00:37:10,260 Dude, I'm just glad we could discuss this shit now, man. 1273 00:37:10,260 --> 00:37:11,300 On a proper form. 1274 00:37:11,300 --> 00:37:12,820 I've been hiding it. 1275 00:37:12,820 --> 00:37:13,660 You been hiding your hemorrhoids? 1276 00:37:13,660 --> 00:37:14,740 Yes, I've been hiding my hemorrhoids. 1277 00:37:14,740 --> 00:37:16,140 Prespiration H? 1278 00:37:16,140 --> 00:37:16,980 What is that? 1279 00:37:16,980 --> 00:37:17,800 Preparation H? 1280 00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:19,380 I haven't done nothing about it, really. 1281 00:37:19,380 --> 00:37:20,740 Prespiration? 1282 00:37:20,740 --> 00:37:21,900 You sweat out your ass? 1283 00:37:21,900 --> 00:37:23,340 Oh yeah, there you go, yep. 1284 00:37:23,340 --> 00:37:24,700 You gotta get that. 1285 00:37:24,700 --> 00:37:25,700 Tighten you up. 1286 00:37:25,700 --> 00:37:27,340 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1287 00:37:27,340 --> 00:37:28,840 I just finished my bottle, so. 1288 00:37:29,780 --> 00:37:32,060 I had an ulcer inside my asshole one time. 1289 00:37:32,060 --> 00:37:32,900 Jesus. 1290 00:37:32,900 --> 00:37:35,420 And I had to finger myself to put the medicine on it. 1291 00:37:35,420 --> 00:37:36,260 Oh man. 1292 00:37:36,260 --> 00:37:37,100 Yeah, dude. 1293 00:37:37,100 --> 00:37:37,940 Ugh. 1294 00:37:37,940 --> 00:37:39,340 That's why I can make those pegging jokes, dude. 1295 00:37:39,340 --> 00:37:40,180 I earned it. 1296 00:37:40,180 --> 00:37:41,020 Yeah, you did, man. 1297 00:37:41,020 --> 00:37:42,580 You did penetrate it before. 1298 00:37:42,580 --> 00:37:45,300 Yeah, self penetration. 1299 00:37:45,300 --> 00:37:48,180 50-50 chance that it happens at some point in your life. 1300 00:37:48,180 --> 00:37:51,100 Yeah, 50-50. 1301 00:37:51,100 --> 00:37:52,540 50-50, what we got? 1302 00:37:52,540 --> 00:37:57,540 All right. 1303 00:37:58,220 --> 00:37:59,060 No. 1304 00:37:59,060 --> 00:37:59,900 You know what I mean? 1305 00:37:59,900 --> 00:38:00,720 Like, as long as you pay me back, 1306 00:38:00,720 --> 00:38:03,420 whenever you say you're gonna pay me back, 1307 00:38:03,420 --> 00:38:05,220 if this doesn't happen, we have a problem. 1308 00:38:05,220 --> 00:38:07,700 Like, I seen one of my boys, he was at Gary Queen, 1309 00:38:07,700 --> 00:38:08,540 we're getting ice cream. 1310 00:38:08,540 --> 00:38:10,300 Ha ha ha, I don't know. 1311 00:38:10,300 --> 00:38:11,700 Ice cream is for the rich. 1312 00:38:13,100 --> 00:38:16,340 You get great value, but I'm being generous with that. 1313 00:38:16,340 --> 00:38:18,300 Get out of here, you son, get out of here. 1314 00:38:18,300 --> 00:38:19,540 You're damn right. 1315 00:38:19,540 --> 00:38:21,380 I don't know if that's true. 1316 00:38:21,380 --> 00:38:22,780 You're riched up so fast. 1317 00:38:22,780 --> 00:38:24,140 That hurts like a damn. 1318 00:38:24,140 --> 00:38:25,540 Look at Brandon, look at Brandon. 1319 00:38:25,540 --> 00:38:26,380 That's it. 1320 00:38:26,380 --> 00:38:27,200 Ha ha ha. 1321 00:38:29,500 --> 00:38:31,500 Oh shit, we got Allen in there too. 1322 00:38:31,500 --> 00:38:32,340 Oh shit. 1323 00:38:32,340 --> 00:38:34,140 Allen, shout out. 1324 00:38:34,140 --> 00:38:35,940 Hell yeah. 1325 00:38:35,940 --> 00:38:38,020 I didn't even realize I looked like Brandon. 1326 00:38:38,020 --> 00:38:40,140 And you can't see, but that thing in front of Brandon, 1327 00:38:40,140 --> 00:38:41,940 that's Jalen, hunched over. 1328 00:38:41,940 --> 00:38:42,780 Ha ha ha. 1329 00:38:44,620 --> 00:38:46,900 I picked that clip for multiple reasons, dude. 1330 00:38:46,900 --> 00:38:49,180 That's the second time you played that one. 1331 00:38:49,180 --> 00:38:50,580 Not this one in particular. 1332 00:38:50,580 --> 00:38:52,740 No, but this is a different angle from it. 1333 00:38:52,740 --> 00:38:55,860 No, the one I played before was you at Shag Nasties 1334 00:38:55,860 --> 00:38:59,460 with men, and she calls you the F slur. 1335 00:38:59,460 --> 00:39:00,300 Oh. 1336 00:39:00,300 --> 00:39:01,460 This one is a different one. 1337 00:39:01,460 --> 00:39:02,860 Yeah, it's a different place. 1338 00:39:02,860 --> 00:39:04,660 This is at Shenanigans. 1339 00:39:04,660 --> 00:39:07,100 But she said the same thing twice. 1340 00:39:07,100 --> 00:39:07,940 Yeah. 1341 00:39:07,940 --> 00:39:09,100 Fat don't get ice. 1342 00:39:09,100 --> 00:39:10,260 Yeah. 1343 00:39:10,260 --> 00:39:12,260 First, well, the last one was fat, this one. 1344 00:39:12,260 --> 00:39:13,300 Yeah, there's no fat. 1345 00:39:13,300 --> 00:39:15,660 This one is just straight up. 1346 00:39:15,660 --> 00:39:18,860 She said, you're a fat F, 1347 00:39:18,860 --> 00:39:20,620 and fat Fs don't get ice cream. 1348 00:39:20,620 --> 00:39:21,780 Is that what she said this time? 1349 00:39:21,780 --> 00:39:23,300 No, this time she took out the fat. 1350 00:39:23,300 --> 00:39:24,140 Oh. 1351 00:39:24,140 --> 00:39:25,340 She just said the other one. 1352 00:39:25,340 --> 00:39:26,420 Oh, okay, okay. 1353 00:39:27,780 --> 00:39:31,780 I had to clarify, that was a bit over there. 1354 00:39:31,780 --> 00:39:33,780 I don't like the way Brandon's looking at me. 1355 00:39:33,780 --> 00:39:34,660 Ha ha ha. 1356 00:39:34,660 --> 00:39:36,540 Like, dude, I just realized, I didn't even know, 1357 00:39:36,540 --> 00:39:39,300 I looked back like, she understand that line. 1358 00:39:39,300 --> 00:39:40,860 That's when the special kid in class 1359 00:39:40,860 --> 00:39:41,900 turns around and looks at you. 1360 00:39:41,900 --> 00:39:43,260 He's like, gonna ask you to borrow a pencil, 1361 00:39:43,260 --> 00:39:44,540 but it takes him 10 minutes. 1362 00:39:44,540 --> 00:39:45,380 Yeah. 1363 00:39:45,380 --> 00:39:46,820 It's like, you know what? 1364 00:39:46,820 --> 00:39:48,180 He's like, you wanna be my friend? 1365 00:39:48,180 --> 00:39:50,060 I just dare you to like this. 1366 00:39:50,060 --> 00:39:52,820 You get it, you give him a pencil, you get it back, 1367 00:39:52,820 --> 00:39:54,100 there's like a bite taken out of it, 1368 00:39:54,100 --> 00:39:54,940 you're like, you can keep it. 1369 00:39:54,940 --> 00:39:55,780 Nah, I'll be like. 1370 00:39:55,780 --> 00:39:57,660 I was playing, I was playing, 1371 00:39:57,660 --> 00:40:00,260 but that was funny, because when Min said it, 1372 00:40:00,260 --> 00:40:03,260 she was like, and you know, 1373 00:40:03,260 --> 00:40:05,580 bleeps don't get ice cream, 1374 00:40:05,580 --> 00:40:06,980 and you're like, you're damn right. 1375 00:40:06,980 --> 00:40:08,380 And then you remembered where you were, 1376 00:40:08,380 --> 00:40:11,140 and you're like, oh wait, that's her, that's her, 1377 00:40:11,140 --> 00:40:11,980 that wasn't me. 1378 00:40:11,980 --> 00:40:12,820 That was funny. 1379 00:40:12,820 --> 00:40:14,260 Cause she usually gives me the hell Hitler. 1380 00:40:14,260 --> 00:40:15,100 Yeah. 1381 00:40:15,100 --> 00:40:16,860 You know, and I go along with it. 1382 00:40:16,860 --> 00:40:19,220 So I'm like, you know, so I was gonna go along with this, 1383 00:40:19,220 --> 00:40:22,500 but then I had to be like, oh no, I'm not saying this. 1384 00:40:22,500 --> 00:40:24,900 I just let everybody know, I'm not the one saying this. 1385 00:40:24,900 --> 00:40:25,740 I thought it was hilarious, 1386 00:40:25,740 --> 00:40:27,660 cause you could see the progression of like, 1387 00:40:27,660 --> 00:40:28,540 you'd be like, yeah? 1388 00:40:28,540 --> 00:40:32,500 And then you're like, wait, no, actually no. 1389 00:40:33,700 --> 00:40:35,180 Damn right, oh, hold up. 1390 00:40:35,180 --> 00:40:37,020 That was like me when I disagree with what you were talking 1391 00:40:37,020 --> 00:40:39,860 about, I was like, yep, yeah, hold on, no, no segregation. 1392 00:40:41,100 --> 00:40:41,940 See, it happens. 1393 00:40:41,940 --> 00:40:43,780 Yeah, it happens, it's okay. 1394 00:40:45,220 --> 00:40:46,580 All right guys, that's all for us. 1395 00:40:46,580 --> 00:40:47,420 Hell yeah. 1396 00:40:47,420 --> 00:40:48,660 Hey, who do you have on today? 1397 00:40:48,660 --> 00:40:52,460 Oh, well, he's not Brian Gold, dude. 1398 00:40:52,460 --> 00:40:53,500 He's Jonathan Silver. 1399 00:40:53,500 --> 00:40:57,180 Oh, I love it, I love it. 1400 00:40:57,180 --> 00:41:00,940 One of the hardest working people in Huntsville County. 1401 00:41:00,940 --> 00:41:01,780 He is. 1402 00:41:01,780 --> 00:41:02,620 Has to be. 1403 00:41:02,620 --> 00:41:03,460 Top two, not two. 1404 00:41:03,460 --> 00:41:07,180 He's helped me out tremendously in my career. 1405 00:41:07,180 --> 00:41:09,020 He doesn't even remember doing it, but I love it, 1406 00:41:09,020 --> 00:41:13,740 because it's just like always trying to give people pointers. 1407 00:41:13,740 --> 00:41:15,060 Encourage you to be yourself. 1408 00:41:15,060 --> 00:41:16,260 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1409 00:41:16,260 --> 00:41:17,940 Tell me to be fat. 1410 00:41:17,940 --> 00:41:19,820 Yeah, he's like, I said that? 1411 00:41:19,820 --> 00:41:22,460 I said, yeah, he said that. 1412 00:41:22,460 --> 00:41:23,580 What's wrong with you? 1413 00:41:24,540 --> 00:41:26,380 All right, we'll see you in a minute. 1414 00:41:27,740 --> 00:41:30,060 We got some skits. 1415 00:41:30,060 --> 00:41:32,980 Dr. Lawrence Redwood, he's a relationship expert 1416 00:41:32,980 --> 00:41:35,420 who studied with the likes of Jesse Lee Peterson, 1417 00:41:35,420 --> 00:41:39,580 Kevin Samuels, Dr. Ruth, and he's renowned in the fields 1418 00:41:39,580 --> 00:41:43,220 of life, love, and the pursuit of sexual happiness. 1419 00:41:43,220 --> 00:41:45,260 That's Dr. Lawrence Redwood, 1420 00:41:45,260 --> 00:41:46,940 and that's with a goddamn W. 1421 00:41:48,220 --> 00:41:50,260 Hello, welcome back to Love Advice. 1422 00:41:50,260 --> 00:41:53,700 I'm Lawrence Redwood, and that's spelled with a goddamn W. 1423 00:41:53,700 --> 00:41:55,100 Today we got a couple of questions 1424 00:41:55,100 --> 00:41:58,980 from some dirty fucking intel's or some shit on the internet, 1425 00:41:58,980 --> 00:42:01,460 and we're gonna see if we can answer them 1426 00:42:01,460 --> 00:42:04,140 before they kill somebody or themselves. 1427 00:42:04,140 --> 00:42:05,540 Alrighty then. 1428 00:42:05,540 --> 00:42:09,300 All right, Lawrence, this one is from B. Schmoov, 1429 00:42:09,300 --> 00:42:12,780 and he asks, I'm struggling to get matches on Tinder, 1430 00:42:12,780 --> 00:42:15,340 how can I change my profile? 1431 00:42:15,340 --> 00:42:19,500 You're gonna need a lot of cats, obviously. 1432 00:42:19,500 --> 00:42:21,860 Women love cats, you're gonna wanna take pictures 1433 00:42:21,860 --> 00:42:23,380 with as many cats as possible 1434 00:42:23,380 --> 00:42:26,780 and as many situations as possible, mostly in bed. 1435 00:42:26,780 --> 00:42:29,180 You're gonna want a lot of pictures of cats in bed, 1436 00:42:29,180 --> 00:42:32,540 cats skydiving, cats canoeing, cats rodeo blading, 1437 00:42:32,540 --> 00:42:35,900 cats rollerblading, cats in UFC fights. 1438 00:42:35,900 --> 00:42:39,460 These are the things that attract women, obviously. 1439 00:42:39,460 --> 00:42:42,580 This is written within us, it can't be denied. 1440 00:42:42,580 --> 00:42:47,020 They want furry things in dangerous and exciting situations 1441 00:42:47,020 --> 00:42:48,860 because they need to feel something. 1442 00:42:48,860 --> 00:42:52,160 They're less captivated, do you understand? 1443 00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:55,340 They like things that are soft and fuzzy, 1444 00:42:55,340 --> 00:42:58,060 that maybe show that there's adventure. 1445 00:42:58,060 --> 00:43:01,580 So have a cat, show that you do things, 1446 00:43:01,580 --> 00:43:04,900 something that she can enjoy, you know? 1447 00:43:04,900 --> 00:43:08,760 And maybe not your penis. 1448 00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:11,280 If you send your penis, don't. 1449 00:43:11,280 --> 00:43:13,780 Nobody wants it, yet. 1450 00:43:13,780 --> 00:43:15,540 It's literally made to hide. 1451 00:43:16,580 --> 00:43:17,980 Thank you. 1452 00:43:17,980 --> 00:43:20,020 That's Dr. Lawrence Redwood, 1453 00:43:20,020 --> 00:43:22,140 and that's what the goddamn W. 1454 00:43:22,140 --> 00:43:23,580 Next question, please. 1455 00:43:24,500 --> 00:43:27,140 We have a question here from Greg Miller. 1456 00:43:27,140 --> 00:43:27,980 That idiot. 1457 00:43:27,980 --> 00:43:30,540 How do I approach women in public 1458 00:43:30,540 --> 00:43:32,380 without coming off as creepy? 1459 00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:37,020 Can't be done, can't be done anymore. 1460 00:43:37,020 --> 00:43:38,880 You'll have to just embrace that 1461 00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:40,460 because in our modern society, 1462 00:43:40,460 --> 00:43:42,080 you really can't approach women in public 1463 00:43:42,080 --> 00:43:43,480 without coming off as creepy 1464 00:43:43,480 --> 00:43:46,860 because they've really just been raped and murdered too much. 1465 00:43:46,860 --> 00:43:50,880 And you know, hey, I get it, good game. 1466 00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:54,140 But it is gonna be harder. 1467 00:43:54,140 --> 00:43:56,380 So you wanna play into that, you wanna corner them. 1468 00:43:56,380 --> 00:43:58,940 Use your power, make a lot of quick aggressive motions 1469 00:43:58,940 --> 00:44:00,580 to show them you're a good reading partner 1470 00:44:00,580 --> 00:44:01,980 if you get them against a wall. 1471 00:44:01,980 --> 00:44:03,740 Hit it, hit it again. 1472 00:44:03,740 --> 00:44:05,300 Let them know what's going on. 1473 00:44:05,300 --> 00:44:07,260 God damn it, are you dressed nice? 1474 00:44:07,260 --> 00:44:08,420 You fucking idiot. 1475 00:44:08,420 --> 00:44:13,420 This is it. 1476 00:44:21,780 --> 00:44:25,400 This is brand new shit coming out of Japan, people. 1477 00:44:25,400 --> 00:44:28,480 You wanna show up your power, you understand? 1478 00:44:29,660 --> 00:44:31,820 It's all about nature. 1479 00:44:31,820 --> 00:44:34,020 That's why you wanna hit that fucking wall behind them, dude. 1480 00:44:34,020 --> 00:44:35,140 You don't wanna let them get away. 1481 00:44:35,140 --> 00:44:36,460 If they make an emotion, you make emotion. 1482 00:44:36,460 --> 00:44:37,640 You understand? 1483 00:44:37,640 --> 00:44:47,080 ground, alright? None of this pussy shit. God damn it. Thank you. What's the next question? 1484 00:44:47,080 --> 00:44:53,080 That's Dr. Lawrence Redwood. And that's with a goddamn W. Thank you. I'm Lance Redwood 1485 00:44:53,080 --> 00:45:02,080 and that's with a goddamn W. Next question. BlackdollStyle asked, what do I do when I 1486 00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:08,680 find out that my female date has a penis? Instead of a big black mid, I'm guessing. 1487 00:45:08,680 --> 00:45:14,760 Okay. Let's say you do find out this lady has got a straight up hip stick. What do you 1488 00:45:14,760 --> 00:45:23,320 want to do with that love rifle, buddy? Huh? It's 2024. That doesn't make you gay. Alright? 1489 00:45:23,320 --> 00:45:27,360 Things are different now. And sex is a very primitive thing and primal thing that we fit 1490 00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:33,160 into a very civilized society. And just because you don't want to bang this woman or man 1491 00:45:33,160 --> 00:45:37,400 because she doesn't have the parts you wanted, does it make you wrong? It also doesn't make 1492 00:45:37,400 --> 00:45:43,240 you gay or weird or some kind of a Jew or something if you do. Alright? It's fine. It's 1493 00:45:43,240 --> 00:45:48,200 all good. Alright? It's 2024. And coming with your pussy doesn't make you any less 1494 00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:54,400 of a man. That's Dr. Lawrence Redwood. And that's with a goddamn W. This one comes from 1495 00:45:54,400 --> 00:46:00,680 a user who asked to stay anonymous. He said, my wife was just involved in a car accident 1496 00:46:00,680 --> 00:46:07,200 that has resulted in her being paralyzed from the neck down. Am I the asshole for leaving 1497 00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:12,600 her and abandoning our four special needs children? No, you're free. What do you not 1498 00:46:12,600 --> 00:46:20,600 have a fucking window? Put her by that. She's fine. You know, get a bird feeder. You're 1499 00:46:20,600 --> 00:46:28,320 free now. What? You're gonna tell her what with Braille? Don't. Don't tell her. Find 1500 00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:35,340 a place with medical marijuana and lots of windows and live your life. How about that? 1501 00:46:35,340 --> 00:46:41,440 What are you a saint? That's Dr. Lawrence Redwood. And that's what the goddamn W. This 1502 00:46:41,440 --> 00:46:50,640 week's featured comedian. Women's bodies are amazing. Give it up. Women's bodies are amazing. 1503 00:46:50,640 --> 00:46:57,440 I was doing some Googling and I found out that the amniotic fluid in a womb is mostly 1504 00:46:57,440 --> 00:47:04,040 just water and electrolytes. I thought, wow, isn't it cool that babies are made in gambling? 1505 00:47:04,040 --> 00:47:10,640 You might as well do it today. I hope you know I'm very athletic for my size. I slip 1506 00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:15,320 up on as I believe it. I believe it. If I saw you in a football field, I'm running every 1507 00:47:15,320 --> 00:47:18,840 time. Now, so you put yeah, you'll get away from me running to that was my problem. I'm 1508 00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:28,440 running. You can't catch me. I can't catch. I'm gonna try to trip you. Remember this? 1509 00:47:28,440 --> 00:47:34,920 If I ever see Dom run, I'm running too. Because if he's running, it's Cloverfield. We run 1510 00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:42,920 it. What's the other one? I'll run you in a 40 right now. You think you can beat me in 1511 00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:47,640 a 40? We got a race. I'll do it. I'll do the run. I would love to see Brandon run. I know 1512 00:47:47,640 --> 00:47:53,280 it's weird. Brandon will run. I want to see that race for sure. I'm fucking smoking you. 1513 00:47:53,280 --> 00:47:57,880 Yes. Do you ever like pause and go out in the parking lot and settle disputes? Y'all 1514 00:47:57,880 --> 00:48:08,640 ever do that? Insert here. Insert here. We should do this outside of Canterbar. You guys 1515 00:48:08,640 --> 00:48:13,800 should race. We need some. You want to race at Canterbar? I got plenty of fish addicts. 1516 00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:22,240 Indoor UAH track. Sponsored by JJ. On concrete or road. I know a local party hall is gonna 1517 00:48:22,240 --> 00:48:26,040 fall. What's the best parking lot to race in? It can't be Canterbar. The parking lot's too 1518 00:48:26,040 --> 00:48:32,960 far. You can do a full area. I was thinking the field in the back. Oh yes. Next in my 1519 00:48:32,960 --> 00:48:37,760 house we have a racetrack thing in this playground where we can run around if you want. It's 1520 00:48:37,760 --> 00:48:41,120 literally like road and everything but for running around. Just running circles. And 1521 00:48:41,120 --> 00:48:45,280 a cold track. Yep. Like a little track. We can run a couple laps. Run the cold a sec. 1522 00:48:45,280 --> 00:48:51,520 You can have some Karen outside. Get off my fucking line. We even got a baseball field. 1523 00:48:51,520 --> 00:48:59,280 It's content. Karen's our content. Speaking of content man. Today we are here with the 1524 00:48:59,280 --> 00:49:05,120 king of content in Huntsville comedy. The hardest worker in Huntsville comedy. Can't 1525 00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:12,080 be disputed. This man is my mentor. He gave me multiple opportunities for which I am very 1526 00:49:12,080 --> 00:49:17,560 appreciative. A lot of good advice. Both about stand up and content creation. He's the most 1527 00:49:17,560 --> 00:49:21,360 knowledgeable man in Huntsville when it comes to this shit dude. Who is this? It's Jonathan 1528 00:49:21,360 --> 00:49:28,600 Silver dude. Hell yeah. Thanks for coming home man. You guys are gonna make me blush 1529 00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:34,840 and cry. I just want to thank my parents. No you guys are great. I love you guys. You 1530 00:49:34,840 --> 00:49:40,340 guys are great. The fact that we even have this that exists in this format with these 1531 00:49:40,340 --> 00:49:47,480 wonderful cameras and wonderful microphone. A full set up is amazing. It's literally amazing. 1532 00:49:47,480 --> 00:49:51,760 Well we got it from you. You know what I'm saying? Mine even did podcasts. I'm like shit 1533 00:49:51,760 --> 00:49:55,760 look at all this. It's not the podcast. It's all the content that you put out and all the 1534 00:49:55,760 --> 00:50:01,800 shows you put on for local comedians. If you want to get on the show Jonathan is your best 1535 00:50:01,800 --> 00:50:05,960 bet and if you're funny Jonathan is gonna see you. Jonathan was the first Huntsville 1536 00:50:05,960 --> 00:50:11,360 comic I ever spoke to. Did he tell you our origin story? No. Okay I'm gonna tell the 1537 00:50:11,360 --> 00:50:15,560 story. I love telling the story. Alright so. Okay I'm gonna tell and then you tell your 1538 00:50:15,560 --> 00:50:21,480 side because you gotta jump in. Okay so I'm just I'm at home eating some lasagna or something 1539 00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:28,600 you know like Garfield and I get this message from this kid and he's just like hey now listen 1540 00:50:28,600 --> 00:50:35,000 this is not a flex but I do get hundreds of messages a day okay and I don't have time 1541 00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:40,120 to always read all of them but something about this one stood out and I was like who is this 1542 00:50:40,120 --> 00:50:44,880 JJ? And because I think you started with like hey I'm from Huntsville. I think that's what 1543 00:50:44,880 --> 00:50:52,000 caught my eye. Yeah yeah I said I saw you at the Stand Up Live new comedy show. Yeah 1544 00:50:52,000 --> 00:50:57,600 yeah so he had gone to the showcase. Did you sneak in? What'd you do? No I uh me and Blake 1545 00:50:57,600 --> 00:51:01,360 came and watched it. We sat in the very front. We sat in the very front but the first time 1546 00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:06,440 I ever saw you was when I went to my first ever open mic at Stand Up Live in March and 1547 00:51:06,440 --> 00:51:10,320 it's the first time they had done it in like six months so hella people were there. They 1548 00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:13,840 had been slacking a little bit. They've been getting a lot better but I see this message 1549 00:51:13,840 --> 00:51:17,680 and I'm like oh he's on Stand Up Live and then you know people they DM me this all the 1550 00:51:17,680 --> 00:51:21,440 time so I'm like oh just come to this and then he shows up and I'm like okay cool cool 1551 00:51:21,440 --> 00:51:27,880 cool but then he goes up and when a man goes up he blows me away. I was like oh this kid's 1552 00:51:27,880 --> 00:51:33,760 got it. He had the rant style down. You could memorize your sets. It was well written. There 1553 00:51:33,760 --> 00:51:39,760 were punch lines. They were self-deprecating. You know you didn't take yourself too seriously. 1554 00:51:39,760 --> 00:51:45,120 You know it was just I was like wow okay we can work with this and then we were just off 1555 00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:49,800 from there. Hell yeah. Yeah that's that's pretty much how I remember it. I remember seeing 1556 00:51:49,800 --> 00:51:54,900 you at Stand Up Live at the open mic. You went up first. Yeah Booker's like to put me 1557 00:51:54,900 --> 00:52:00,680 first on shows a lot. Yeah. You get the crowd. You get the crowd where they need to be. A 1558 00:52:00,680 --> 00:52:05,000 lot of my material moves the crowd in a way that is beneficial for a lot of comedians 1559 00:52:05,000 --> 00:52:09,160 the rest of the show. Yes. I'm a great first comedian. I'm a great headliner too but you 1560 00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:13,160 know if you hear my material you're like all right this is where we're at and it's a real 1561 00:52:13,160 --> 00:52:16,000 good litmus test for the rest of the show. I was gonna say you're a good hairliner. I 1562 00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:19,280 got a friend and she was like whenever we went to the comedy show you know these people 1563 00:52:19,280 --> 00:52:23,560 were funny but they didn't really interact with the crowd and then you are like you know 1564 00:52:23,560 --> 00:52:26,880 you're going to interact with the crowd. You're going to get them all feel like they're part 1565 00:52:26,880 --> 00:52:30,560 of the part of what you're saying. Yeah. Oh we're gonna be on the same page. Yeah. We're 1566 00:52:30,560 --> 00:52:33,400 gonna we're gonna feel I'm not gonna give out my jokes but you know but but but you 1567 00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:36,800 all know you know you can't say that tongue twister you know we're not gonna have a good 1568 00:52:36,800 --> 00:52:41,760 show. So as long as we're good we're good and the show's good and so yeah pretty much 1569 00:52:41,760 --> 00:52:47,320 every time I've done the stand up live showcase they put me first. Okay. Yeah. I see him he 1570 00:52:47,320 --> 00:52:52,520 comes out on the stage he's got the the short sleeve denim button up the jeans and the red 1571 00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:58,860 shoes. Yeah. Yeah. I'm like who is this character. He's Jonathan Silver. I look like I'm from 1572 00:52:58,860 --> 00:53:06,400 Arthur's world. What's the name of Arthur's town. Elwood. I look like I'm from Elwood. 1573 00:53:06,400 --> 00:53:11,760 I do like a cartoon character. Yeah I do. You do. It's just you know it's my thing. We were 1574 00:53:11,760 --> 00:53:15,560 talking about you last week on this week's episode that came out today and I had to put 1575 00:53:15,560 --> 00:53:18,560 a picture of you up there for reference. We were talking about how you sit Indian style 1576 00:53:18,560 --> 00:53:25,640 and play. That was crazy. You all see this man. Jonathan looks like he's Indian style 1577 00:53:25,640 --> 00:53:30,240 and then he does. When he's sitting down he's still as tall as Jacob Baker. I know. Yeah 1578 00:53:30,240 --> 00:53:37,840 yeah. I'm catching straight. I do that for dumb because I never stood up for Jacob. I'm 1579 00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:45,920 like who's mother. Little ass nigga. He's still welcome on the. I tried to book him 1580 00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:50,160 like three times. I'm like dog where are you. I'm in Germany. I'm in Poland. I'm like I 1581 00:53:50,160 --> 00:53:58,600 brought the war. I hope you don't get flagged for that. It's okay if you sing it right. 1582 00:53:58,600 --> 00:54:02,520 If you sing it it's okay. If you play it is not okay. Nobody's looking at this first of 1583 00:54:02,520 --> 00:54:13,080 all. Nobody's talking about man. We have one hundred and ten subscribers. Listen. One ten. 1584 00:54:13,080 --> 00:54:19,640 Thank y'all too. That's right. That's right. That's right. Let me give him a little applause. 1585 00:54:19,640 --> 00:54:28,320 Thank you. He's like Robin from Howard Stern. That's right. Let me see who Robin is. Who 1586 00:54:28,320 --> 00:54:35,600 is Robin. Look at Robin. It's Howard Stern second Mike. Did I mean to say that you look 1587 00:54:35,600 --> 00:54:41,480 like a black woman. Kind of. I did kind of mean that. I mean I do actually. Like when 1588 00:54:41,480 --> 00:54:47,040 I had that wig on. He said Robert. Oh he said Robin. And then he said I don't save that 1589 00:54:47,040 --> 00:54:52,200 picture because then you said I do look like this person. It's a white man. Robert Pattinson. 1590 00:54:52,200 --> 00:54:59,640 Is that the Twilight guy. I mean shit if I was a. Twilight. Don't you mean the Batman. 1591 00:54:59,640 --> 00:55:05,600 He said I do look like. You never know. I said look in the alternate universe. I ain't 1592 00:55:05,600 --> 00:55:09,720 gonna shit. I go workin' out. Brandon you do not look like this nigga bro. What are you 1593 00:55:09,720 --> 00:55:15,560 talking about. He's insane. Robin. He's insane. He's insane. I think it might be a white. 1594 00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:19,160 He said he looks like Robert Pattinson. Pulls out Robert Pattinson. This might be worse 1595 00:55:19,160 --> 00:55:26,480 than the Francis and Garner thing. It might be the worst one yet. I get up. OK that's 1596 00:55:26,480 --> 00:55:35,800 a perfect one right there. Oh my god. I can't see it down. Oh man. Look I just. Oh that 1597 00:55:35,800 --> 00:55:41,360 one all the way on the right. That one right there. This is me in 2010. I didn't mean 1598 00:55:41,360 --> 00:55:48,960 to roast you so hard. This is funny. I can send that up as a compliment. That is a compliment. 1599 00:55:48,960 --> 00:55:54,920 But damn she don't look like yo mama. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Back on track. So yes we 1600 00:55:54,920 --> 00:56:01,360 were at Stand Up Live. And we was having a good time. And yeah so JJ came out and you 1601 00:56:01,360 --> 00:56:06,600 know and then when he brought you I was like yo are all these dudes friends funny. Like 1602 00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:10,120 what is going on. This whole crowd is coming out. Me and Dom didn't know each other before. 1603 00:56:10,120 --> 00:56:13,840 We just happened to meet. Get the hell out of here. You want to know who. Tell me your 1604 00:56:13,840 --> 00:56:18,680 origins. So look I tell you and I know Pat watched this and you're going to have to listen 1605 00:56:18,680 --> 00:56:24,680 to this. So look. So I had. Y'all didn't know each other. I came a month before I met JJ 1606 00:56:24,680 --> 00:56:28,080 right. I had just got off of the Kill Tony thing. I was like I'm going to go try Mike. 1607 00:56:28,080 --> 00:56:32,560 The only one I could find was Shenanigans. Shout out to Kim. Shout out to Kim. Shout 1608 00:56:32,560 --> 00:56:38,000 out to Shenanigans. So I went there and looking back I can't find. I don't know any comedians 1609 00:56:38,000 --> 00:56:42,080 there besides one Pat. And he was the one you could tell was like had been doing it 1610 00:56:42,080 --> 00:56:45,920 for a minute. At least on the Shenanigans stage that night. Jacob Baker ended up winning 1611 00:56:45,920 --> 00:56:54,120 that night. He snuck through the cracks. And then. He kept his trades. Every conversation. 1612 00:56:54,120 --> 00:56:58,280 So Jacob was definitely the best one. Dom started it off with nobody that I know now 1613 00:56:58,280 --> 00:57:04,200 was there. Nobody. Nobody there. Yeah you know. That's what it was. No no that's what 1614 00:57:04,200 --> 00:57:08,160 it was. It was me and Brandon. No no no. You were behind the booth though. Yeah I was the 1615 00:57:08,160 --> 00:57:12,200 DJ at the time. You were DJing. Yeah. Yeah. But you didn't go up. Wait no. You remember 1616 00:57:12,200 --> 00:57:16,640 the time we did both go up. So yeah yeah. So Brandon did go up. Yeah that was the one. 1617 00:57:16,640 --> 00:57:21,080 Wait that was the time I did go up. Nobody got up. So we both started at the same time. 1618 00:57:21,080 --> 00:57:25,080 We both went to the same one for Shenanigans right. Jokers Wild. Yeah Jokers Wild. And 1619 00:57:25,080 --> 00:57:28,840 then the only but I'm saying older comedians that was there that I'm looking back on and 1620 00:57:28,840 --> 00:57:33,200 know now was Pat. And then Brandon was talking to Pat afterwards and I was like hey you guys 1621 00:57:33,200 --> 00:57:37,160 know where the open mics was. And Pat was like there's one over here. There's one over 1622 00:57:37,160 --> 00:57:42,120 here. And I was like I felt some type of way. It was a spot on impression of Pat. And I 1623 00:57:42,120 --> 00:57:46,800 hooked you up. I sent you all the shit. Yeah yeah. Whenever you hooked me up with Jonathan 1624 00:57:46,800 --> 00:57:50,200 the next that's the next time. But then so I left and I was like I felt some type of 1625 00:57:50,200 --> 00:57:53,720 like damn these niggas don't even fuck with me. I was like I wrote five minutes out it 1626 00:57:53,720 --> 00:57:58,400 wasn't good but you know I did it. And then I came back the next time to Shenanigans and 1627 00:57:58,400 --> 00:58:04,280 that's where I met JJ and then I met you that time because you was like yeah yeah. You show 1628 00:58:04,280 --> 00:58:08,960 me where all the open mics were. And you got me on and I was like hell yeah. And then I 1629 00:58:08,960 --> 00:58:12,800 just start going to the open mic. Yeah. But Pat said I asked Pat about it. He was like 1630 00:58:12,800 --> 00:58:19,280 yeah I didn't think you was going to be funny because you too cute. Whoa. Hey. Tell me this. 1631 00:58:19,280 --> 00:58:26,880 I said first of all yes but thanks. Bro that is a wild first thing to say to someone. That's 1632 00:58:26,880 --> 00:58:31,560 what I was like. I was trying to you know help me out here. You too funny to be cute. 1633 00:58:31,560 --> 00:58:36,600 What? Sounds like a jail thing going on. What? You in prison? Patrick we going to have to 1634 00:58:36,600 --> 00:58:42,040 have a conversation. Now Pat my nigga I fuck with Pat. That's crazy. We going to have Pat 1635 00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:47,640 over here. So you guys meet at the second one that you had gone to. But it just became 1636 00:58:47,640 --> 00:58:51,320 a natural thing. After that point. I mean like within five minutes of talking to each 1637 00:58:51,320 --> 00:58:56,240 other he's asking me to do. He was like I think if we did a podcast together it would 1638 00:58:56,240 --> 00:58:59,600 be good. I was like yeah but he was the way I liked him because he was like I'm serious 1639 00:58:59,600 --> 00:59:03,120 about this shit. I said shit me too. He's like no I'm like seriously. See that's what 1640 00:59:03,120 --> 00:59:08,680 attracted me first because you can always tell when someone's about it. And I was like 1641 00:59:08,680 --> 00:59:13,920 he's already making his own content. He's already he's researching where he needs to 1642 00:59:13,920 --> 00:59:21,440 be and he considers content as something that's a high priority. You got to make content. 1643 00:59:21,440 --> 00:59:27,760 You can't not make content even in a small way. Even if it's just you talking. You have 1644 00:59:27,760 --> 00:59:31,680 to make something. And I was like okay he's taking it seriously because a lot of folks 1645 00:59:31,680 --> 00:59:38,560 were not taking it seriously. And that bothers me. That bothers me a lot. Oh it bothers me 1646 00:59:38,560 --> 00:59:43,400 so much. Well it hurts the legitimacy of the scene as a whole. True. Yes. You know. But 1647 00:59:43,400 --> 00:59:49,360 that that was a lot. Shout out to Blake. He does a lot for the podcast. Oh yeah. Where's 1648 00:59:49,360 --> 00:59:54,320 Blake's unsung hero? Him and Jack. He is one of the most motivated people I've ever met 1649 00:59:54,320 --> 00:59:59,520 in my life. And I was telling him like I love comedy. I think I might want to try it out. 1650 00:59:59,520 --> 01:00:03,400 But like everybody fucking says it. But he was like do it. Do it. Go do it. I'll go with 1651 01:00:03,400 --> 01:00:07,240 you. So that's when we went to the stand up live mic. And he was really pushing me to 1652 01:00:07,240 --> 01:00:11,320 do social media because he was like it can only help you. Really. It can only help. Blake 1653 01:00:11,320 --> 01:00:16,560 is a W man. Yeah Blake. Yeah. Blake's about that shit. Yeah. Did he go up? The clips that 1654 01:00:16,560 --> 01:00:23,120 you watch. That's Blake. The clip. Oh yeah. Did you see Cliff on line? That's Blake. Shout 1655 01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:29,600 out to you Blake. Shout out to you Blake. He about that business. He really helps us out 1656 01:00:29,600 --> 01:00:35,320 at clown college for sure. Yeah. Huge. Yeah. That's why I started. And I was surprised 1657 01:00:35,320 --> 01:00:39,040 that more people weren't already posting on social media. I'm like if you're going to 1658 01:00:39,040 --> 01:00:43,600 open mics three times a week why aren't you making videos? Listen. Listen. Listen. Listen. 1659 01:00:43,600 --> 01:00:51,160 I'm going to say something controversial. Post your open mic content. Yeah. Post. Post 1660 01:00:51,160 --> 01:00:57,760 your open mic content. I do it. I do it. This camera. Post your open mic content. This camera. 1661 01:00:57,760 --> 01:01:04,160 Post your open mic content. Don't nobody give a fuck. Don't nobody care. If it's funny it's 1662 01:01:04,160 --> 01:01:09,520 funny. Post it online. Throw them hashtags up there. Who cares if it's some shit. Post 1663 01:01:09,520 --> 01:01:16,680 it online. I bro. OK. I've cultivated my algorithm to show me new comics to show me people who 1664 01:01:16,680 --> 01:01:20,280 haven't been posting for very long to show me who people who haven't been doing comedy 1665 01:01:20,280 --> 01:01:26,240 for very long. And I so I get these videos of people who they're on day two of starting 1666 01:01:26,240 --> 01:01:31,480 comedy and it's bad. But some of it's actually really good. Yeah. You post that clip. I have 1667 01:01:31,480 --> 01:01:36,000 seen people I got one girl sitting on my phone right now. She's at like 800 followers. That's 1668 01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:39,920 not a slight to nobody. It's great. That's a whole bunch more to me. Yeah. It's just 1669 01:01:39,920 --> 01:01:45,280 like this. But her her like third stand up video has like 100000 likes. For real. Yes 1670 01:01:45,280 --> 01:01:50,960 bro. Yes. It happens. Yes. It happens like that. Yes. Especially on Tiktok. And I'm talking 1671 01:01:50,960 --> 01:01:55,680 about Instagram. I deal more with Instagram. So you know anybody that says stuff like oh 1672 01:01:55,680 --> 01:02:00,680 you shouldn't post because it's bad. Join the club. We're all posting bad content. Like 1673 01:02:00,680 --> 01:02:06,280 it's not it's not what you think it. Post your shit. Focus quantity first. Quality comes 1674 01:02:06,280 --> 01:02:11,080 with quantity. Once you learn the game. You got it. That's that's what Blake was telling 1675 01:02:11,080 --> 01:02:16,840 me. So I post I post like five five to ten videos a day. Yes. Couple months and then 1676 01:02:16,840 --> 01:02:20,960 started doing like three a day. Now I know I haven't posted in like a month. Right. But 1677 01:02:20,960 --> 01:02:24,680 I got it. I got to get back on the grind. I'm going to start doing it too. But I'll tell 1678 01:02:24,680 --> 01:02:28,400 you know I don't like that. You come to Twitter. You come to Twitter. Fuck with me. Yo I fuck 1679 01:02:28,400 --> 01:02:32,600 with Darm on Twitter. Everything I'm a lot. I know you can't like it but I'm a like it 1680 01:02:32,600 --> 01:02:38,000 for you. Everything down puts on Twitter. I think it's funny. I'm like I should be like 1681 01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:43,240 I can't be caught. I can't be caught liking this. I understand if you don't like it. Don't 1682 01:02:43,240 --> 01:02:46,600 actually like physically like it but you're going to chuckle. You're going to get me. 1683 01:02:46,600 --> 01:02:50,840 The thing is you don't understand. Your shit would kill on Tiktok. What? You would kill 1684 01:02:50,840 --> 01:02:55,280 on Tiktok. If you did like people love watching videos with different characters. You play 1685 01:02:55,280 --> 01:03:00,160 characters extremely well. You could definitely blow up on Tiktok. Yep. 100 percent. Let's 1686 01:03:00,160 --> 01:03:04,480 talk about cross posting your content. Okay let's talk about that. You got to cross post 1687 01:03:04,480 --> 01:03:08,760 your content. You got to put it on every platform. So do you whenever you do that do you got 1688 01:03:08,760 --> 01:03:12,640 like something that does it for all level. It's all manual. So you go through each one. 1689 01:03:12,640 --> 01:03:18,320 I go through each one one by one. And the reason. Okay. The reason it's got to. Okay 1690 01:03:18,320 --> 01:03:22,920 it ain't got to be like that. Okay. If you're working in something like After Effects. You're 1691 01:03:22,920 --> 01:03:26,840 working in something like Adobe whatever. Then you can create the content outside. But 1692 01:03:26,840 --> 01:03:33,600 what ends up happening is is that the aspect ratio cannot be I will say adequately converted. 1693 01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:38,360 And let's. Okay let's say it is. And you filmed a 4K. You have 4K is not coming across on 1694 01:03:38,360 --> 01:03:43,560 IG Reels. Oh no no no. It's just you did all that work for nothing. So. But let's just 1695 01:03:43,560 --> 01:03:47,960 say that's how you want to do it. You make your content in Adobe. Then you port it over 1696 01:03:47,960 --> 01:03:53,800 the iPhone. You put it on there. And then you can use like a deck where it posted YouTube 1697 01:03:53,800 --> 01:03:58,440 and Instagram and all that. But for me the tools that I use and I like are on Tick Tock. 1698 01:03:58,440 --> 01:04:04,680 They're on Instagram. And you essentially in my opinion in my opinion I want to use the 1699 01:04:04,680 --> 01:04:08,120 tools that a lot of your peers are using. So if they're using green screen you won't 1700 01:04:08,120 --> 01:04:12,360 use a green screen. They're using a filter. You know just some of this is like a felt 1701 01:04:12,360 --> 01:04:16,040 like a dog. Or you know you know those rat filters that they have when people be like 1702 01:04:16,040 --> 01:04:19,880 oh rats are in the system or whatever. They're like making a joke about rats. There's a filter 1703 01:04:19,880 --> 01:04:24,640 that puts a rat filter on your face. Adobe doesn't have that. Oh you mean like it looks 1704 01:04:24,640 --> 01:04:30,280 like a rat's own. It turns your face into a rat. Yeah. Adobe doesn't have that. And 1705 01:04:30,280 --> 01:04:33,320 if everybody's doing that you got to do what Tick Tock's doing. So you got to put that 1706 01:04:33,320 --> 01:04:36,600 on. So you got it. You got to make your content in the app. It doesn't really allow you. And 1707 01:04:36,600 --> 01:04:41,000 that's free right. It's free. It's free. It's just a free editing software that's for their 1708 01:04:41,000 --> 01:04:47,200 progress. And I don't know if you guys know this but Tick Tock gives a boost to videos 1709 01:04:47,200 --> 01:04:52,600 that are made in the platform. I'm not saying they push down videos that aren't but they 1710 01:04:52,600 --> 01:04:57,160 certainly give a boost. Yeah they give a boost. And so when you make it in the content it 1711 01:04:57,160 --> 01:05:01,200 incentivizes you to make your content in the app. And then you can download it but you 1712 01:05:01,200 --> 01:05:06,200 can download it without a watermark. And that's another thing I did. He was trying to figure 1713 01:05:06,200 --> 01:05:10,980 that out. And so you know when you cross post and you want to be able to post the same video 1714 01:05:10,980 --> 01:05:16,200 across all platforms and it'll look the same. And so if you yes if you made it off the app 1715 01:05:16,200 --> 01:05:19,960 you can do that. But if you have made it in the app you can't download until you've posted 1716 01:05:19,960 --> 01:05:25,160 it. And so basically what I do is I got to make the video in Tick Tock or Instagram download 1717 01:05:25,160 --> 01:05:31,360 it without the watermark then repost it to all the content with the same hashtags and 1718 01:05:31,360 --> 01:05:37,760 every hashtag system is different. So I have been able to kind of algorithm a ties my hashtags 1719 01:05:37,760 --> 01:05:44,080 to where I can use the same hashtags across every platform. But that's only through probably 1720 01:05:44,080 --> 01:05:48,440 nine months of trying different hashtags. You got it. You got it. You have to just watch 1721 01:05:48,440 --> 01:05:53,160 the hashtags and you got to like see how far they reach and you got to just kind of see 1722 01:05:53,160 --> 01:05:57,760 the analytics of it. Yeah. And they're not going to show you the analytics. What you're 1723 01:05:57,760 --> 01:06:04,960 really looking for is you're looking for usage. I'd say usage is number one. How many people 1724 01:06:04,960 --> 01:06:12,960 do you see using this particular hashtag. How many posts are under it and how many likes 1725 01:06:12,960 --> 01:06:16,880 does each post have. So and this is a lot of work. You got to click the hashtag you 1726 01:06:16,880 --> 01:06:23,880 go in there and say OK this has 10 posts but each post has you know a million likes on 1727 01:06:23,880 --> 01:06:26,480 it. You're like all right I'm going to throw this one on there. But if you have another 1728 01:06:26,480 --> 01:06:30,200 one that has 100 posts only two likes that's a dead hash. I call it I have the little nicknames 1729 01:06:30,200 --> 01:06:33,840 for it. I call it dead. I like this hashtag dead. So once your hashtags are dead you can 1730 01:06:33,840 --> 01:06:36,640 swap them out. There are certain hashtags that are always being used but they're like 1731 01:06:36,640 --> 01:06:40,440 it's like throwing it's like trying to skip rocks against the Pacific Ocean. Like it's 1732 01:06:40,440 --> 01:06:45,760 just too much. It's just too much like hashtag comedy. Everybody's using hashtag comedy. 1733 01:06:45,760 --> 01:06:50,040 So you got to get a little more specific hashtag sketch comedy and then sketch comedy has like 1734 01:06:50,040 --> 01:06:53,760 only sketches. Now some people who don't swear by hashtags they're like hashtag bunch of 1735 01:06:53,760 --> 01:06:58,640 bullshit. I'm on team hashtag. It worked for you. Do you got to spread it with all this 1736 01:06:58,640 --> 01:07:02,400 information. I got it all. So I have it in my notes app. So I got my notes app. OK. I 1737 01:07:02,400 --> 01:07:06,640 got certain hashtag. If somebody deems me is like you OK get some hashtags. Yes. Here 1738 01:07:06,640 --> 01:07:10,360 are some hashtags. I have hashtags that I'm like I'll be doing. These are the hashtag 1739 01:07:10,360 --> 01:07:14,160 especially in you know this is idea of neeshing down. I don't know if you ever ran into this 1740 01:07:14,160 --> 01:07:18,080 when you were over at Tick Tock about neeshing down. You ever hear about that. Just like 1741 01:07:18,080 --> 01:07:23,960 getting more specific. Yeah. Like right. You're supposed to like have a niche that only you. 1742 01:07:23,960 --> 01:07:28,320 That's the only where you poke as comedians. I don't really believe in that personally. 1743 01:07:28,320 --> 01:07:33,200 I think that as comedians we should be able to comment on a wide variety of things. But 1744 01:07:33,200 --> 01:07:36,680 there are certain things you shouldn't touch for sure. You know Israel Hamas. Don't don't 1745 01:07:36,680 --> 01:07:43,800 talk about it. I learned that. Just leave it alone. OK. It ain't for you. But you know 1746 01:07:43,800 --> 01:07:47,240 if there's a Palestinian comedian who wants to talk about it you know she can see her 1747 01:07:47,240 --> 01:07:52,520 he can do that. But I'm only that one. So you know I don't know shit about it. Yeah. 1748 01:07:52,520 --> 01:07:55,600 It's just like some things you just got to know. But if you've neeshed down then you 1749 01:07:55,600 --> 01:08:00,560 only talk about what's in your niche. But I'm like you know OK you make the solo podcast 1750 01:08:00,560 --> 01:08:04,120 stuff. What if you want to make a grimace video. What if you want to make a reaction 1751 01:08:04,120 --> 01:08:09,240 video. Yeah. OK. Well if I'm supposed to be neeshing down then I can't do that. No. Fuck 1752 01:08:09,240 --> 01:08:13,320 that. Make the video. Yeah. Like make the video. That was my philosophy. Yeah. That 1753 01:08:13,320 --> 01:08:18,200 grimace video ended up being the most viewed most liked video I ever made. So proud. One 1754 01:08:18,200 --> 01:08:23,960 of my friends the one you met that likes the Funkos. Funkos. Yeah. What was his name? John. 1755 01:08:23,960 --> 01:08:33,960 We ain't supposed to say it. Oh sorry. Yeah. Bleep his name. He has a lot of fucking Johns. 1756 01:08:33,960 --> 01:08:38,680 Second John. But he whenever he first met JJ and JJ showed him that video of the grimace 1757 01:08:38,680 --> 01:08:43,000 he was like oh I've seen that. So he already seen it without even knowing who he is. The 1758 01:08:43,000 --> 01:08:50,280 best feeling is when my friends send me my other friends content and they don't know 1759 01:08:50,280 --> 01:08:55,000 I'm friends with them. They'll be like oh here's this video of this girl roasting people 1760 01:08:55,000 --> 01:09:00,080 on Bumble. And I'm like oh you mean Sierra Moses. Yeah. They're like yeah I love her 1761 01:09:00,080 --> 01:09:05,680 stuff. But I'm like yeah we hang out bro. We're friends. Matthew Lumber is another one 1762 01:09:05,680 --> 01:09:10,000 who people send me his content. So yeah. And so it's just it's cool. That's why I'm like 1763 01:09:10,000 --> 01:09:15,600 seen. We got to make content. You got to make everything and anything. It don't matter what 1764 01:09:15,600 --> 01:09:19,520 it is. If you think it's funny put it up there. Somebody's going somebody's gonna mess with 1765 01:09:19,520 --> 01:09:25,000 it and it's going to be it edifies everybody. That's my soul box. I'm very passionate about 1766 01:09:25,000 --> 01:09:30,960 everybody making content. Oh yeah. I love it. I love it. You're the king of content. I try 1767 01:09:30,960 --> 01:09:35,160 to go follow Jonathan Silver. You're going to see you're gonna see some good stuff. I 1768 01:09:35,160 --> 01:09:40,600 try to be funny. I try to make stuff interesting for people. But yeah I post like I post probably 1769 01:09:40,600 --> 01:09:46,720 30 videos a week. You know I probably post seven a day or seven times five. Thirty five. 1770 01:09:46,720 --> 01:09:50,560 Oh it's more. It's more than that. OK. Maybe it's about 40 videos a day. And that's hard 1771 01:09:50,560 --> 01:09:55,200 man. Hell yeah. Come up with 40 original ideas. Yeah. That's great. I'm glad you mentioned 1772 01:09:55,200 --> 01:10:01,240 originality. You know sequences stitches. I wouldn't say they're wholly original because 1773 01:10:01,240 --> 01:10:07,520 I am piggybacking off of the success of that video. But there are videos I have that are 1774 01:10:07,520 --> 01:10:12,640 original like the water videos. Yeah. They're very very original that do go viral. And so 1775 01:10:12,640 --> 01:10:17,560 yes I heard you say it's just a mixture of both. You know just do what you think is funny. 1776 01:10:17,560 --> 01:10:22,360 It's just a lot of content to put out. That's a lot. So I was right before I came here I 1777 01:10:22,360 --> 01:10:26,360 was filming. I was filming. I got to drive over here record. Thankfully I'm done for 1778 01:10:26,360 --> 01:10:32,640 the day. Yeah. You going to box on tonight. I probably. I got to go to sleep. You just 1779 01:10:32,640 --> 01:10:38,480 had a beautiful baby girl right. That's right. Congratulations. I'm a girl dad. Oh yeah. 1780 01:10:38,480 --> 01:10:43,600 Oh my god I'm so excited. You've been up. You've been up a lot. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I was 1781 01:10:43,600 --> 01:10:49,200 really feeding her right before I came in. I was like in my arms. Yeah. No. No. I'm 1782 01:10:49,200 --> 01:10:54,240 gonna go home and get to my get to my baby girl and I'll see y'all at if y'all come to 1783 01:10:54,240 --> 01:10:58,240 Silver Bullet on Tuesday I'll see you guys there. Oh yeah. And then after that the next 1784 01:10:58,240 --> 01:11:03,240 two weeks gonna be Nico because I because we're doing alternate. OK. Oh yeah. Oh so 1785 01:11:03,240 --> 01:11:06,720 you're this week and then Nico's right. Yeah I'm second and fourth. We split it like a 1786 01:11:06,720 --> 01:11:13,000 divorced parent and he's first and third. I'm second and fourth and he'll do fifth 1787 01:11:13,000 --> 01:11:17,080 week as to. So yeah. So we're we're splitting dudes with that one because I couldn't I 1788 01:11:17,080 --> 01:11:23,520 couldn't do every week. Unfortunately. Yeah. You know JJ is the new host of. That's right. 1789 01:11:23,520 --> 01:11:34,920 Give this man a hand clap. Let me see your hand clap. That's a personal clap. That's right. 1790 01:11:34,920 --> 01:11:42,400 But a shout out to Daniel Castillo. He's the one who started the shag nasties Mike. Did 1791 01:11:42,400 --> 01:11:49,040 you Google rap filter. Yeah. I searched it up for you. I saw him typing it in. I should 1792 01:11:49,040 --> 01:11:52,440 have seen how long. Yeah. I was like because I knew what you were talking about. I look 1793 01:11:52,440 --> 01:11:56,880 funny and shit. Can they see this too. You know what. Let me show you this one too. I'm 1794 01:11:56,880 --> 01:12:02,840 gonna save this one. I turned around and all I see is an army of rap people. It's like 1795 01:12:02,840 --> 01:12:08,360 what is going on. We would be remissed if we kept talking about social media content 1796 01:12:08,360 --> 01:12:14,360 and did not give props to Brandon. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. One of the most consistent. Oh yeah. 1797 01:12:14,360 --> 01:12:21,200 Brandon funny funny guys because you guys take it seriously. Brandon posts his videos 1798 01:12:21,200 --> 01:12:24,880 every day. He has a new video every day and they're funny. I'm sitting there laughing 1799 01:12:24,880 --> 01:12:30,880 like what is this dude on skits skits. He comes up. He comes up with all those ideas. 1800 01:12:30,880 --> 01:12:36,120 He's like you guys take it seriously. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. His ideas 1801 01:12:36,120 --> 01:12:40,040 Brandon and you're editing the way you're organized and you get to keep everything flowing. 1802 01:12:40,040 --> 01:12:44,960 I'm like yes. That's you need that. You need everybody working together. Yeah. Well you 1803 01:12:44,960 --> 01:12:50,440 know like Jaylen said this and I you know he's young but he's a he's an old man. He's 1804 01:12:50,440 --> 01:12:56,360 also and then but he was like you're only as good as you're in the scene. You're only 1805 01:12:56,360 --> 01:12:59,920 as good as your worst comment. You know what I'm saying. Like the whole scene. So whenever 1806 01:12:59,920 --> 01:13:04,320 they come people come out to see us and even if you're just going to open mic I'm telling 1807 01:13:04,320 --> 01:13:09,480 you these old mics you're going to get some people with some heat a lot of them. And if 1808 01:13:09,480 --> 01:13:13,400 you've got people consistently you know being being able to bang out there you got most 1809 01:13:13,400 --> 01:13:17,320 people on this scene you could put on a five minute 10 minute show. I mean you're good 1810 01:13:17,320 --> 01:13:22,320 and you'll be OK. Right. And so I love that philosophy. You want everybody to be good. 1811 01:13:22,320 --> 01:13:25,760 I want everybody to be good. First of all I love comedy so you got more people you can 1812 01:13:25,760 --> 01:13:29,880 laugh at. I want to sit through 20 people that suck or 20 people that are funny. 1813 01:13:29,880 --> 01:13:35,680 Yeah right. You want 20 people that are fucking funny. You got to you got to create a format 1814 01:13:35,680 --> 01:13:41,240 that allows them to win. And I believe I've done that with the apartment shows. No hell 1815 01:13:41,240 --> 01:13:47,120 yeah. It allows everyone to win. And if you. So tell them what the apartment shows are. 1816 01:13:47,120 --> 01:13:53,880 So the apartment shows are this camera here. Yeah. The apartment shows are you know we 1817 01:13:53,880 --> 01:13:58,360 go into apartment complexes and we put on shows for the residents you know and the leasing 1818 01:13:58,360 --> 01:14:01,520 office sometimes they're really excited about sometimes a little wary about it but they 1819 01:14:01,520 --> 01:14:07,320 need like an event. And so I just say hey you know do you guys do events for your residents. 1820 01:14:07,320 --> 01:14:12,720 And they say yeah we do. I say you're doing a comedy show. No no no we have it. I say 1821 01:14:12,720 --> 01:14:18,320 hey I know comedians I'm a comedian too. And then they're usually a little surprise. And 1822 01:14:18,320 --> 01:14:21,800 now you know this is an idea that anybody could take this idea. Although that if you 1823 01:14:21,800 --> 01:14:26,000 do go to any apartment shows apartments in Huntsville chances are I've done one already 1824 01:14:26,000 --> 01:14:29,640 at them. But you know. You got to pay the fee if you come over here. You know what I'm 1825 01:14:29,640 --> 01:14:36,160 saying. We'll whoop that ass. I need 10 percent. Listen hey you know. Just book me for it. I 1826 01:14:36,160 --> 01:14:41,520 just want to be booked for it you know. And the idea came out of like I want my friends 1827 01:14:41,520 --> 01:14:47,720 were funny. And I said I want my funny friends to be heard by people. This is not fair that 1828 01:14:47,720 --> 01:14:52,800 I have. I mean think about somebody like sci fi. Yeah. Think about sci fi. Who murders. 1829 01:14:52,800 --> 01:14:59,720 Oh. Merch. Every mic. Every mic. Don't matter where he's at. It could be open mic. It could 1830 01:14:59,720 --> 01:15:05,680 be a closed mic. It could be a showcase. It could be a lower case. It could be an uppercase. 1831 01:15:05,680 --> 01:15:11,120 Whatever. Any kind of case. OK. It could be a tachy case. It could be a briefcase. OK. 1832 01:15:11,120 --> 01:15:17,640 Enough. All right. OK. All right. I'm done. I'm done. It could be anything. OK. This man 1833 01:15:17,640 --> 01:15:22,040 murders. Yeah. Everywhere. And so I'm like you're not going to put a stand up a sci fi 1834 01:15:22,040 --> 01:15:27,000 set up live for real. You're not going to put them on. That's insane. It's absolutely 1835 01:15:27,000 --> 01:15:33,280 insane. You are mental as the British say. You're mental. OK. You got to put this man's 1836 01:15:33,280 --> 01:15:37,360 talent somewhere. All right. As many times as you could. I mean you. I would feel like 1837 01:15:37,360 --> 01:15:42,840 I was lucky to get if I was a guy evaluating the talent we get. I get to have this guy 1838 01:15:42,840 --> 01:15:46,000 like pretty much whatever I want if they were being real with this. Yeah. This is going 1839 01:15:46,000 --> 01:15:49,720 to be the first and last podcast you'll have me on. Because this is. I'm going to tell 1840 01:15:49,720 --> 01:15:54,680 you this was going on. The person who books stand up life does not live in Huntsville. 1841 01:15:54,680 --> 01:16:01,320 OK. So this person does not see our talent. This person does not see our hard work. This 1842 01:16:01,320 --> 01:16:08,060 person does not see our camaraderie. This person does not see our charisma. They only 1843 01:16:08,060 --> 01:16:13,480 see the club that they manage from another city. You know imagine imagine you playing 1844 01:16:13,480 --> 01:16:19,080 for a ballclub and the owner lives in like Ireland or something. No shit. It's Ireland. 1845 01:16:19,080 --> 01:16:23,160 You know it's just like it's unfathomable. You'd be like how are you supposed to. How 1846 01:16:23,160 --> 01:16:28,080 do we even have a connection with you. And so that person has never seen sci fi in person 1847 01:16:28,080 --> 01:16:32,120 has never seen me in person. You know you see one of my sets you're like oh this guy's 1848 01:16:32,120 --> 01:16:36,040 got it. It's like what thousand percent you ain't got say it was say it for you. It's 1849 01:16:36,040 --> 01:16:41,360 like come on. They're going to have that crowd. Come on. Come on. Come on. And so you know 1850 01:16:41,360 --> 01:16:47,680 going for toiling for you know a couple of years. I'm like all right. We got to do something 1851 01:16:47,680 --> 01:16:53,760 else. So we can have the apartment shows. And so it's 10 comics five minutes each. And 1852 01:16:53,760 --> 01:17:00,360 so you know you negotiate a price with the with the with the venue. And I'll tell you 1853 01:17:00,360 --> 01:17:03,840 guys how much after you know well you know you know you know you about to find out from 1854 01:17:03,840 --> 01:17:09,400 the you know you go in there you say look this is how much these folks are worth. And 1855 01:17:09,400 --> 01:17:13,640 if I five minutes everybody can kill it five minutes. But you structure the lineup in a 1856 01:17:13,640 --> 01:17:20,040 way that allows everybody's style to bounce off of each other. You can't book two low 1857 01:17:20,040 --> 01:17:26,640 energies next to each other. You can't book to two dirty folks next to you can book a 1858 01:17:26,640 --> 01:17:32,920 dirty guy or a dirty girl. They usually be me. Exactly. I have little names from I call 1859 01:17:32,920 --> 01:17:39,840 them all. I'm like this guy's alt. This guy's dirty. OK. But honestly you you you're really 1860 01:17:39,840 --> 01:17:44,000 you're black and military. That's what you are because you say it in your set. Right. 1861 01:17:44,000 --> 01:17:48,200 So anytime you say military people automatically they think something. So I'm like all right. 1862 01:17:48,200 --> 01:17:52,320 He's going to say that. So let's do somebody after because if you do too many people people 1863 01:17:52,320 --> 01:17:55,680 they just lose interest because they've heard the same thing every time. A hundred percent. 1864 01:17:55,680 --> 01:18:00,600 But we can't also can't put too high energies next to each other because now the crowd feels 1865 01:18:00,600 --> 01:18:05,680 like it's a blitzkrieg on them. And so you just got to marry it and you got to vary the 1866 01:18:05,680 --> 01:18:09,240 because some people's voices are loud. Some people's voices are soft. Some people's voices 1867 01:18:09,240 --> 01:18:14,120 are are kind of scratchy. Some people talk very fast. You know you put Jake's Muncie 1868 01:18:14,120 --> 01:18:21,280 somewhere and then you put Dom after and people JJ somewhere. Brandon talks a mile a minute. 1869 01:18:21,280 --> 01:18:35,680 It's like a car. Go watch Brandon stand up. Yo. Slow on it though. OK. Good. Brandon you 1870 01:18:35,680 --> 01:18:40,640 talking like you're on a treadmill. Times are running laps. But now but it's fine. It's 1871 01:18:40,640 --> 01:18:43,320 fine because when you book that style you got to book somebody next to it. So anyway 1872 01:18:43,320 --> 01:18:47,560 so you just apartment show and then and then the apartment. It's a good time. It's a great 1873 01:18:47,560 --> 01:18:52,960 deal. They have a great. They had a great time. They were loving it. They loved it. And everybody 1874 01:18:52,960 --> 01:18:58,240 I mean people were smashing. And some of the stuff you know I like when Raina goes up there 1875 01:18:58,240 --> 01:19:03,280 and does her joke. Yeah. But I love that. And then they were you did not. I did not think 1876 01:19:03,280 --> 01:19:06,920 this crowd was going to be into it. But they were right. That's right. And fuck it. It's 1877 01:19:06,920 --> 01:19:11,640 a good book. And they're at home and they could drink. And they just got to go down 1878 01:19:11,640 --> 01:19:17,920 the elevator to their fucking. And then and here's the best part. We just paid 10 comics. 1879 01:19:17,920 --> 01:19:25,200 Yeah. 10 10. So if I did two a week I was paying 20 comics a week. In the summertime 1880 01:19:25,200 --> 01:19:29,560 we were definitely doing 20 a week. And that's how you build the scene. You got to be that 1881 01:19:29,560 --> 01:19:35,120 you got to be booking big showcases every week. You just got to figure out who's willing 1882 01:19:35,120 --> 01:19:41,840 to pay for it. You know who wants comedy who wants to see comedy. And then you just curate 1883 01:19:41,840 --> 01:19:46,560 curate curate but not dislike not this drip. You know there's some things. Oh just there's 1884 01:19:46,560 --> 01:19:51,720 got to be one. You know but there's going to be only one this and one. Yeah. Fuck. No 1885 01:19:51,720 --> 01:19:57,600 not 10 10 20 if we can help it. You know it's just you if you have the right attitude it'll 1886 01:19:57,600 --> 01:20:00,440 be that's what you'll get. So yeah that's where the apartment shows came from. So it's 1887 01:20:00,440 --> 01:20:06,160 great. Hell yeah. Those things are fine. I can't wait for you to go. Yeah. No it may 1888 01:20:06,160 --> 01:20:11,480 suck. It may be terrible. It may be absolutely terrible but it may be great. Where's what 1889 01:20:11,480 --> 01:20:15,360 we do. Oh I remember now. Yeah we good. I think we're good. I think we're good for that 1890 01:20:15,360 --> 01:20:21,000 one. Yeah. That wasn't very reassuring. Yeah. I can't remember because I got to I got so 1891 01:20:21,000 --> 01:20:24,880 many shows in my brain. But you saw the lineup right. Yeah. Yeah. We got you see who's closing 1892 01:20:24,880 --> 01:20:32,560 too. I'm closing. No. You first. You first bro. Who's closing. It's Scott. Oh I saw 1893 01:20:32,560 --> 01:20:37,520 he was in the group chat. I didn't know that. I didn't post the lineup. I don't you might 1894 01:20:37,520 --> 01:20:40,720 have. I don't think I saw it. OK. I'll post the lineup again. I'll post it again. I like 1895 01:20:40,720 --> 01:20:46,400 that Scott's starting to come around. Scott's starting to come around. We went out to we 1896 01:20:46,400 --> 01:20:51,360 went out to what's that Moody Mondays. Oh OK. Me and him got in an argument. It was a fun 1897 01:20:51,360 --> 01:20:57,120 argument though. What were you arguing about. About Tony Henscliffe. He had he had Tony 1898 01:20:57,120 --> 01:21:01,400 I guess his friend and one that Tony got cancel can't quote unquote cancel for was his friend 1899 01:21:01,400 --> 01:21:08,240 the Asian. Oh Hans Kim. No no no no. It was an Asian dude before. Alex Z. Yes. Alex Z 1900 01:21:08,240 --> 01:21:15,920 was opening for Henscliffe. He will one day. He will. Alex. Alex is so into who he is. 1901 01:21:15,920 --> 01:21:22,040 Like one day the right crowd is going to get on Alex and it's going to be over. I promise 1902 01:21:22,040 --> 01:21:26,760 you. I promise you. I promise you. I bet he could he could get a good crowd of just being 1903 01:21:26,760 --> 01:21:30,840 Alex. Just being himself. Yeah. A cult. A cult. For sure. That's correct. A cult following. 1904 01:21:30,840 --> 01:21:35,920 Oh yeah. He's definitely cult following. Yeah. For sure. For sure. Yeah. So Alex Z. Opening 1905 01:21:35,920 --> 01:21:40,680 for. But I was I was saying I was saying I like how me and Scott we know we were over 1906 01:21:40,680 --> 01:21:43,720 we were having a little heating. We were drinking. Yeah. Yeah. Drinking. Drinking. It's a drunken 1907 01:21:43,720 --> 01:21:48,440 argument. Yeah. Yeah. But not like hardcore. And then we can go after that and then agree 1908 01:21:48,440 --> 01:21:51,600 on something and disagree on something else and we could just bullsh. That's how bros 1909 01:21:51,600 --> 01:21:56,520 are. And talk shit. Yeah. But you know what the guy you know he runs. Well he I know he's 1910 01:21:56,520 --> 01:22:00,960 like one of the bigger figures of the godfathers of Huntsville comedy right. You talking about 1911 01:22:00,960 --> 01:22:04,400 Scott? Scott. Oh of course. Yeah. Yeah. So he's like so he's like for him to be out there 1912 01:22:04,400 --> 01:22:07,800 and just mixing it up. I didn't see him before and then he started to come around. I thought 1913 01:22:07,800 --> 01:22:11,840 that was pretty cool. Oh you had known who he was. I didn't know who he was. Yeah. Scott 1914 01:22:11,840 --> 01:22:17,600 is the first person to perform on the stand up live. Yeah he told it. He told it. And 1915 01:22:17,600 --> 01:22:24,880 that is so significant because you know stand up comedy Huntsville before us was very there 1916 01:22:24,880 --> 01:22:30,840 was quite the antagonistic relationship with the audience. They you know Carl Paul Matthew 1917 01:22:30,840 --> 01:22:38,720 Tate even. Oh Tate. Just Matthew Tate. My mentor. Shout out. You know they tell me these 1918 01:22:38,720 --> 01:22:44,760 stories of audience members fighting them after mics. Wow. What's going on bro. What's 1919 01:22:44,760 --> 01:22:47,920 fighting you. And so and he's like yeah well they look like there were these bikers at 1920 01:22:47,920 --> 01:22:52,480 FOD and there were some audience members some ex boyfriends. It was a crazy time. It was 1921 01:22:52,480 --> 01:22:56,560 wild wild west. You know we're I'm in college you know I'm down the street just hanging 1922 01:22:56,560 --> 01:23:00,320 out in college and people fighting people in the parking lot at the comedy shows that 1923 01:23:00,320 --> 01:23:07,760 you know in 2011 or whatever it was. But you know so Scott's been through a lot to build 1924 01:23:07,760 --> 01:23:14,600 Huntsville comedy and to have had epic for so long is monumental. So shout out to that 1925 01:23:14,600 --> 01:23:18,480 man. Shout out to that man's work. Shout out. Yeah. And so you know it's just it's just 1926 01:23:18,480 --> 01:23:24,600 incredible. Yeah. Pun intended incredible. It's epic if you will. Or even awesome if 1927 01:23:24,600 --> 01:23:30,400 you want to throw a third one. So you did you start out with sci fi. You got him to 1928 01:23:30,400 --> 01:23:36,600 go or he got you to go. This is why I loved you two because I have a feeling that comedy 1929 01:23:36,600 --> 01:23:45,360 duos are stronger than singles. I'm so surprised you guys didn't know each other. So my origin 1930 01:23:45,360 --> 01:23:52,000 yeah that's just so crazy. You're the first Indian person I've ever met. Oh shit hold 1931 01:23:52,000 --> 01:24:01,960 up. Never seen them before. J.J. walked up and said do you have some curry? And he said 1932 01:24:01,960 --> 01:24:06,160 no nigga I'm black and German. He didn't know until I said my first joke what I was. He 1933 01:24:06,160 --> 01:24:12,400 was like I was wondering. That's a strong joke because only you can tell that because 1934 01:24:12,400 --> 01:24:19,880 you're right. You don't know. I know. Yeah I didn't know either. Oh yeah. I didn't know. 1935 01:24:19,880 --> 01:24:27,640 And it's because your beard is so soft. I keep conditioning it every day. Yeah. I didn't 1936 01:24:27,640 --> 01:24:32,200 know. But I didn't really care but I didn't know. Yeah but it don't got to care about. 1937 01:24:32,200 --> 01:24:36,320 I know when I fuck with people. Right. Like that's why I used to do that joke to open 1938 01:24:36,320 --> 01:24:40,800 with but I like to open with something else to let them marinate on it. Is he about to 1939 01:24:40,800 --> 01:24:49,920 say nigga? The answer is yes. Oh yeah. It's yes. You just got a unique look man. I've 1940 01:24:49,920 --> 01:24:53,880 never really seen anybody that looks like you before. So there's a lot of ways it could 1941 01:24:53,880 --> 01:24:56,720 have went. Yeah. I never really see that many Samoans. Now hold on this is a pot calling 1942 01:24:56,720 --> 01:25:03,520 the kettle black. This dude got a unique look too. Yes you do bro. But I'm white. That's 1943 01:25:03,520 --> 01:25:08,800 clear. That's clear from the jump. At least you have a reason to hate me. You have more 1944 01:25:08,800 --> 01:25:12,920 than one but that's a big one. It's a big one. Nah but your white look different than 1945 01:25:12,920 --> 01:25:16,400 Jack's white. Yeah yeah for sure. We're gonna put a picture on your face. I feel like we're 1946 01:25:16,400 --> 01:25:21,640 pretty. Me and Jack are on the same page at least you know what I'm saying. Nah. See we're 1947 01:25:21,640 --> 01:25:26,840 not. Nah. They're not the same white. It's the. You're red or white. I have the peach 1948 01:25:26,840 --> 01:25:31,800 undertone. He's more of a dead white. It's a dead. Gastly white. Like the undertaker. 1949 01:25:31,800 --> 01:25:36,880 Yo I'm gonna do a nicer one. You're like Mississippi and then he's like California. Like you go 1950 01:25:36,880 --> 01:25:40,880 to California black. That was not nice to me. That was not nice to me. Mississippi's not 1951 01:25:40,880 --> 01:25:47,120 nice. You go from lowest GDP to highest GDP. Huntsville Alabama. Okay Huntsville not Mississippi. 1952 01:25:47,120 --> 01:25:54,600 You're not making a much better. But you're right. He is Mississippi. No it's cause you 1953 01:25:54,600 --> 01:25:59,960 got the chain and that denotes some kind of swag. Okay. So I was like okay there's swag 1954 01:25:59,960 --> 01:26:06,200 and you rock the mustache very confidently. It's a very confident rock. It's not a head 1955 01:26:06,200 --> 01:26:12,080 down I'ma hide the stash. It's a head up. I'ma show you the stash. I've got it dude. I completely 1956 01:26:12,080 --> 01:26:18,520 like have dedicated my entire look to comedy. Yeah. I don't care. It's like this is not 1957 01:26:18,520 --> 01:26:25,840 a thing for women. Women don't like this shit. I'm not here for the comedy ditches. That's 1958 01:26:25,840 --> 01:26:34,360 why I swear. I want the boobs. Yeah women aren't buying tickets to the shows. Their 1959 01:26:34,360 --> 01:26:37,800 boyfriend is buying the tickets for them. No that's facts. Sorry I be cool with their 1960 01:26:37,800 --> 01:26:44,800 boyfriend. If you're too attractive men don't like you. That's why Patrick said you're 1961 01:26:44,800 --> 01:26:52,600 cute. And I'm not even that attractive. Patrick is horribly ugly. Patrick catches straight. 1962 01:26:52,600 --> 01:27:01,640 That wasn't even a straight. That was a cannonball. I'm fucked with Pat Pat. That's my nigga. 1963 01:27:01,640 --> 01:27:09,200 But no yeah so Syfy another ugly nigga. No I'm just playing. I'm playing Sy. I love you 1964 01:27:09,200 --> 01:27:17,400 Sy. I love you Sy. No he so the full story with us is you know we have known we say it 1965 01:27:17,400 --> 01:27:23,240 all the time we have known each other for 10 years. And I had always wanted to do comedy 1966 01:27:23,240 --> 01:27:27,360 since 14. I was like I want to do comedy. I want to stay on comedy. I live in Huntsville 1967 01:27:27,360 --> 01:27:32,080 Alabama. I got no comedy club. I got no open mics. I don't know what to do. All I know 1968 01:27:32,080 --> 01:27:37,080 is that New York has comedy. So I'm like I at one point I moved to New York at some point. 1969 01:27:37,080 --> 01:27:41,160 So I'm going through my life and I'm writing jokes. I start writing jokes in college. I 1970 01:27:41,160 --> 01:27:45,040 just just writing in the summer and jokes for like six seven eight years. So I just 1971 01:27:45,040 --> 01:27:49,880 had a page of just jokes. I just never told. And then I told Syfy I said you'd be good 1972 01:27:49,880 --> 01:27:53,840 at stand up comedy. So you'd be good at it. You'd be great. You tell stories well you 1973 01:27:53,840 --> 01:27:58,840 know you have good comedic time. You know. And then I told him I said when you are ready 1974 01:27:58,840 --> 01:28:04,600 to do comedy I'll do it with you because I didn't want to do it by myself. You know I 1975 01:28:04,600 --> 01:28:08,040 know I project the image like I can do it all by myself but I should get very lonely 1976 01:28:08,040 --> 01:28:16,080 and I get very like I'm not introverted but like I just wish I had someone to talk to. 1977 01:28:16,080 --> 01:28:19,720 And so I was like do it with me. And then I knew that I could keep going because I was 1978 01:28:19,720 --> 01:28:26,840 like by myself I was like I can do this. And so that was six years ago. And so he did just 1979 01:28:26,840 --> 01:28:31,720 marinated and then one day he calls me out of the blue and he's like we're going to open 1980 01:28:31,720 --> 01:28:36,080 mic. I said they got open mics here. He's like yep. Because Stand Up Live had just just 1981 01:28:36,080 --> 01:28:39,800 just open. It just opened like two or three years ago. Yeah. I mean this is 2024. I think 1982 01:28:39,800 --> 01:28:46,640 it opened in 20. It was this was around like 2017. So yeah it was it had just opened. So 1983 01:28:46,640 --> 01:28:51,160 we go so we go to the open mic and then the second one we go to the first one we went 1984 01:28:51,160 --> 01:28:54,280 to is at Salty Nut which was Scott's old open mic. I don't know if you guys ever got to 1985 01:28:54,280 --> 01:28:58,120 Salty Nut. I think it was closed by the time you guys got to it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And 1986 01:28:58,120 --> 01:29:04,200 so and so we go to Salty Nut and we see Brent Reed there and we see Alex DeMascola there. 1987 01:29:04,200 --> 01:29:10,880 And I saw Alex DeMascola go up and I said if I can be a fourth of funny as this guy 1988 01:29:10,880 --> 01:29:15,280 I'll be fine. There's a monster. Shout out Alex. Shout out Alex DeMascola. Once he gets 1989 01:29:15,280 --> 01:29:20,200 settled with his kids y'all gonna have him here. But no we already confirmed a date. 1990 01:29:20,200 --> 01:29:26,520 You confirmed a date? Yeah. Excellent. February 25th. Let's do it. I'll try to come out that 1991 01:29:26,520 --> 01:29:32,040 next week. I'll be tuned in on that one for sure. So I saw Alex DeMascola. March 25th. 1992 01:29:32,040 --> 01:29:35,280 February 25th. What's this month we in right now? These motherfuckers don't know their 1993 01:29:35,280 --> 01:29:40,320 calendar. We're in January. Oh January yeah yeah. They don't know what month it is. Don't 1994 01:29:40,320 --> 01:29:47,960 say that. That's him. But no so then the second mic we did was at at the time it was called 1995 01:29:47,960 --> 01:29:53,880 Madison Station. Okay. But it's Boss Car now. But it was Boss Car. And he's like we're going 1996 01:29:53,880 --> 01:29:58,680 up. I said we're not ready. He said get ready. I said alright. I pull out that document I've 1997 01:29:58,680 --> 01:30:02,920 been writing on for you know five or six years with all my jokes. And he's like you got a 1998 01:30:02,920 --> 01:30:07,800 document and jokes? So he's doing his set list on a napkin and I go up there and I'm 1999 01:30:07,800 --> 01:30:14,000 like if these work great. Because my real plan was to start when I was 40. Okay. I'm 2000 01:30:14,000 --> 01:30:17,040 gonna start. I was like I felt like I've lived enough life at 40. I'm so glad I didn't start 2001 01:30:17,040 --> 01:30:20,640 it when I was 40. But I was you know I just that was just my plan. And I got up there 2002 01:30:20,640 --> 01:30:25,880 and I'm like alright let's do this one. And the first one I told that Babies and Gatorade 2003 01:30:25,880 --> 01:30:30,480 joke was one of the first jokes I ever wrote. Oh shit. Yeah. And so I kept that one. I've 2004 01:30:30,480 --> 01:30:33,960 kept tweaking it obviously. But yeah like I told that one and people laughed. And I was 2005 01:30:33,960 --> 01:30:37,840 like okay. Alright this is cool. But I was like nah it's a fluke. It's just the people 2006 01:30:37,840 --> 01:30:41,920 in this room. So I went over to Salty Nut and told the same joke. People laughed again. 2007 01:30:41,920 --> 01:30:46,480 So I just kept going to different places and telling the same joke. And I was like oh okay 2008 01:30:46,480 --> 01:30:51,640 this is funny. It's just Huntsville people. It's just Huntsville people. And this is the 2009 01:30:51,640 --> 01:30:57,840 second piece of advice I would give to new comics. Get out of town. Drive to Nashville. 2010 01:30:57,840 --> 01:31:02,520 Drive to Birmingham. Drive to. I mean we went to Birmingham. We all bombed. It was great. 2011 01:31:02,520 --> 01:31:07,880 It was great. Great learning. You gotta get out of town because you don't know if your 2012 01:31:07,880 --> 01:31:12,800 joke works unless it works on someone who has no idea where you are, who you are. And 2013 01:31:12,800 --> 01:31:18,080 they're like now be funny. Yeah. The pressure of being from out of town. So you know drive 2014 01:31:18,080 --> 01:31:23,360 to Birmingham. Me and Syfy we drove up and down this great south and we went to Cahaba 2015 01:31:23,360 --> 01:31:28,360 down in Birmingham and we went to Laughing Skull. Do the Laughing Skull if you can. Atlanta. 2016 01:31:28,360 --> 01:31:35,680 Have y'all done Laughing Skull? Nope. We didn't travel really. Gotta travel. That is the only 2017 01:31:35,680 --> 01:31:40,720 way to really know. How good are my jokes? You know when I did my jokes out in Vegas 2018 01:31:40,720 --> 01:31:45,800 I was very nervous. And I was like I don't know if they're gonna like this. Crushed. 2019 01:31:45,800 --> 01:31:53,080 I went and did my jokes in Florida. They hated me. I can see that. Bad joke. They hated me. 2020 01:31:53,080 --> 01:32:01,520 They booed me. Bombed for a week. I bombed for a week in Florida. DC loved me. Oh but 2021 01:32:01,520 --> 01:32:09,080 it's DC. I'm a political comedian. Arizona was just okay. They didn't boo me but they 2022 01:32:09,080 --> 01:32:13,160 messed with some of it. But Florida oh dude. Bombed for a week. Florida ain't going. And 2023 01:32:13,160 --> 01:32:18,360 this is what was really surprising. I bombed at the black mics and the white mics. Damn 2024 01:32:18,360 --> 01:32:23,960 dude. Myself as David Tullin. You got the black guys like I'm good now. I thought for 2025 01:32:23,960 --> 01:32:29,840 sure I was like come on these are my people. Nope. They said we not with you nigga. Florida's 2026 01:32:29,840 --> 01:32:33,920 a different nation. Florida's a different nation. Oh dude. But anyway so yeah so he 2027 01:32:33,920 --> 01:32:38,080 hit me up and said let's go. And I went and we was off to the race and we just haven't 2028 01:32:38,080 --> 01:32:44,000 stopped you know. So when I saw you guys coming as a duo I was like oh duos yeah. So I don't 2029 01:32:44,000 --> 01:32:48,760 know the theory's maybe unfounded who knows. We boys you know what I'm saying. We all three 2030 01:32:48,760 --> 01:32:54,240 of us started at the same pretty much the same time. I was doing shenanigans when you 2031 01:32:54,240 --> 01:32:59,720 were doing stand up. We were doing shenanigans when you were doing stand up live. We here 2032 01:32:59,720 --> 01:33:07,000 to say. Hell yeah. That pink cup. It's sweet. It looks like something they sell as Pleasures 2033 01:33:07,000 --> 01:33:11,760 dude. It does. Oh my gosh can I shout out Pleasures. Hell yeah. Can I shout out how 2034 01:33:11,760 --> 01:33:18,880 amazing Pleasures is. Jamea and Ashlyn are the managers of that Pleasures. Pleasures 2035 01:33:18,880 --> 01:33:26,120 is a sex shop by the way. And yeah we did a don't tell there and they were just so cool. 2036 01:33:26,120 --> 01:33:29,920 You hear me somebody just cool. Just like y'all cool. And their back room is empty. 2037 01:33:29,920 --> 01:33:34,960 I said we gonna put an open mic back here. We gonna put a show back here. I love it. 2038 01:33:34,960 --> 01:33:40,040 In the back of a sex shop. In the back of a sex shop. I put the dildos on my forehead. 2039 01:33:40,040 --> 01:33:45,920 It was great. It was great. It was heavy too. It was like. Gotta put them somewhere. It 2040 01:33:45,920 --> 01:33:49,600 hung down. It was like touching my lips. And I was like it's like a circle of dick. It 2041 01:33:49,600 --> 01:33:56,000 just kinda like. Did you see all those boxes of the ass and you know the little ass fucking 2042 01:33:56,000 --> 01:33:59,440 things. I seen the over stock. Yeah. I seen that. They had over stock of. What are those 2043 01:33:59,440 --> 01:34:05,320 things called? The silicone. It's a giant. It's bigger than a flesh line. It's hard to 2044 01:34:05,320 --> 01:34:09,160 describe. Yeah. It's a girl's ass. Yeah it's a girl's ass. But it's made of silicone. 2045 01:34:09,160 --> 01:34:13,960 It's like a mold. But it's not a mold. It's like a sex doll but it's only her torso. 2046 01:34:13,960 --> 01:34:19,080 Only the torso. But only half her. Half the body. It's like. It is. It is. It's like 2047 01:34:19,080 --> 01:34:26,680 belly button to mid thigh. Yeah. That's kinda the ratio. But it's also arched. It is. It's 2048 01:34:26,680 --> 01:34:34,840 ready to go. It's ready to go. It's ready to go. Out of the box. Ready to get cracked. 2049 01:34:34,840 --> 01:34:39,560 Dude. The post nut clarity after you fucked that thing. It's gotta be insane. You're going 2050 01:34:39,560 --> 01:34:46,240 to hill. For sure. Y'all ever seen those football things they used to have? What the hell is 2051 01:34:46,240 --> 01:34:53,360 he about? We went into Spencer's, my friend, and we saw a football pocket pussy for the 2052 01:34:53,360 --> 01:34:58,360 first time. What? Yeah. For the first time. And I was like hold up man. I wanna try this 2053 01:34:58,360 --> 01:35:02,800 shit out. And he was like. Me too man. So we went out and I was like somebody gonna 2054 01:35:02,800 --> 01:35:05,520 have to pay for this shit. So he went in there. He was buying it. Talking to dudes. He was 2055 01:35:05,520 --> 01:35:08,520 like so you buy this? And the dude was like yup. And he was like alright. Thank you. We 2056 01:35:08,520 --> 01:35:14,720 went in there. Tried it. Now he freaked out. What? What? What? Hold up. Hold up. Wait. 2057 01:35:14,720 --> 01:35:21,120 Wait. This man turned to French. Let me rephrase it. Let me rephrase it. He went home and then 2058 01:35:21,120 --> 01:35:25,400 we tried it. Of course I tried it. He was like man that shit sucks. Time out. You can't 2059 01:35:25,400 --> 01:35:28,840 say of course I tried it. Brandon. Brandon. Brandon. Was there disinfectant involved? 2060 01:35:28,840 --> 01:35:35,840 No. We bought separate ones. Oh. Separate ones. Okay. Thank God. Not the same shit. 2061 01:35:35,840 --> 01:35:42,840 We thought he took it home and then mailed it to you. No they separate. Okay. Separate. 2062 01:35:42,840 --> 01:35:46,520 Thank God. Thank God. He was like you threw yours out. I was like yeah. I thought y'all 2063 01:35:46,520 --> 01:35:51,800 tag teamed the football. He said that he threw his out and then you said yeah too but you 2064 01:35:51,800 --> 01:35:56,800 were lying. Yeah. I had it like. I had it hidden for like five months. I was like this 2065 01:35:56,800 --> 01:36:00,960 shit gotta work. You know this shit sucks. You know he was also lying right? Yeah he 2066 01:36:00,960 --> 01:36:06,360 probably was right? Yeah. He was. By the way. He was. And y'all met him. Which what? You 2067 01:36:06,360 --> 01:36:11,080 know who it is. Yeah. Think about it. You know the one that sound black. Yeah. Oh yeah. 2068 01:36:11,080 --> 01:36:15,480 Hold on. Hold on. You went out there when he had his friend on his FaceTime? Nah. Nah. 2069 01:36:15,480 --> 01:36:20,240 I wasn't there for the friend. But hold on. You said in the shape of a football. Yeah. 2070 01:36:20,240 --> 01:36:24,600 Okay. So it's a football where you put your dick home. But what you do is you twist the 2071 01:36:24,600 --> 01:36:28,960 top open and it's like in disguise. So it's like you can play football with it. Or you 2072 01:36:28,960 --> 01:36:32,000 just take it. So you can play with it or you can play with it. Well Brandon we know you 2073 01:36:32,000 --> 01:36:37,880 can't fucking catch. I can't catch. So we know it's not a football man. So you take 2074 01:36:37,880 --> 01:36:42,960 the top off of the football and you put your dick inside like a clamshell. Yeah. Sometimes 2075 01:36:42,960 --> 01:36:48,320 it's too much. You know Brandon is it entirely possible that you just bought a football? 2076 01:36:48,320 --> 01:36:54,760 No. No. There was like some girl. There was a girl on the front of it showing. Fucking 2077 01:36:54,760 --> 01:36:58,960 sit on that dirt ball. Okay Brandon show us what you did. And it did. Hold on. So what 2078 01:36:58,960 --> 01:37:03,040 I did was when I bought it. I did this. I twisted it. And when I twisted it the squishy 2079 01:37:03,040 --> 01:37:06,640 thing right there with that is there. And then surprisingly you flipped it over. You 2080 01:37:06,640 --> 01:37:11,800 can flip it over to another end. Uh huh. Never use that end. Oh. You don't go in the back 2081 01:37:11,800 --> 01:37:15,240 door? How do you clean it out? Well you take the whole thing out. You just. Oh okay. You 2082 01:37:15,240 --> 01:37:21,360 can pull it all out clean and put it back in. But okay. Please tell me. So your form with 2083 01:37:21,360 --> 01:37:26,040 this. Are you grabbing it by the laces? By the laces? Always by the laces. Oh you're 2084 01:37:26,040 --> 01:37:30,240 double handing. Oh you put double. Yeah that's true. Yeah I was. I was like fourteen. So 2085 01:37:30,240 --> 01:37:33,400 you're double handing the fucking football masturbation device? Yeah. Whatever we could 2086 01:37:33,400 --> 01:37:37,000 do because it was uncomfortable. That's why I threw it out. Yeah you're fucking a football. 2087 01:37:37,000 --> 01:37:42,760 Yeah. Fuck the inside. It sucked man. He's tossing around the table. I'm like wait a 2088 01:37:42,760 --> 01:37:49,680 minute this shit ain't coming off. I got stuck for a minute. What? What got stuck? Dude I 2089 01:37:49,680 --> 01:37:52,880 was using it. I couldn't take it off. I was like hold up. So then I started freaking out 2090 01:37:52,880 --> 01:37:58,160 and then I had to like really. Dude. That was the last time I ever used it. It got stuck? 2091 01:37:58,160 --> 01:38:01,320 I gotta throw it out. You have a football on your dick right now. No. I had to throw 2092 01:38:01,320 --> 01:38:04,560 it out after that. Right there I was like that's it. That's when you gotta hang up 2093 01:38:04,560 --> 01:38:10,280 the damn ball. That shit is hard. Retire the jersey dude. Put it in the rafters. That was 2094 01:38:10,280 --> 01:38:16,080 the last shot. That was the retirement game. Now Pleasure didn't have nothing like that. 2095 01:38:16,080 --> 01:38:22,480 We had no fuckable footballs. But this lady thing like the back is arched. And you know 2096 01:38:22,480 --> 01:38:26,640 there I say it kind of screams fuck me. Oh yeah for sure. You know what I mean. You're 2097 01:38:26,640 --> 01:38:31,320 like I don't want to fuck this silicone thing. And so every time I'm in there I'm like how 2098 01:38:31,320 --> 01:38:37,840 much is that again? How much are there? 59.99. See I would do it but I know for a fact after 2099 01:38:37,840 --> 01:38:41,080 I get there I'm like what the fuck am I doing? They're kind of expensive. That's what I'm 2100 01:38:41,080 --> 01:38:45,480 saying. No I would keep fucking it. You would? Yeah I bought it. Yeah you gotta spend that 2101 01:38:45,480 --> 01:38:49,480 money. No way it could be good dude. Bro you fucked me when I bought it I'm fucking you. 2102 01:38:49,480 --> 01:38:53,320 Alright listen. I'm gonna keep using it. Why buy it if you're not wasting money man? Don't 2103 01:38:53,320 --> 01:38:58,000 waste your money man. Yeah because normally pocket posers you can put in the dishwasher. 2104 01:38:58,000 --> 01:39:02,360 Now come on. People putting that in the dishwasher? Yeah you can take the inside out. They make 2105 01:39:02,360 --> 01:39:07,320 the ones that you can put in the dishwasher. Yeah. Okay now I'm scared dude. Bro people 2106 01:39:07,320 --> 01:39:10,560 putting that shit in the dishwasher. I never even thought that could happen. Don't. I didn't 2107 01:39:10,560 --> 01:39:13,280 know that either. Oh okay I see what you're saying. You know what I'm saying now that's 2108 01:39:13,280 --> 01:39:17,000 all over the walls. You run the shit through the water. I mean yeah you know. I mean it 2109 01:39:17,000 --> 01:39:23,160 is hot. It is hot. It's like good bacteria. Imagine you cleaning the dishwasher filter 2110 01:39:23,160 --> 01:39:28,280 and it's like still sticky. Oh hell. Alright this conversation is turning gross. Anyway 2111 01:39:28,280 --> 01:39:34,880 so yeah. Pleasure. Shout out to Pleasures. Love those ladies over there. Shout out to 2112 01:39:34,880 --> 01:39:42,200 Thursdays and Homegrown. You hosted Matthew Tate's album recording? Yeah I did. I did. 2113 01:39:42,200 --> 01:39:48,280 My comedy mentor Matthew Tate asked me to host his recording. We did it at Shenanigans. 2114 01:39:48,280 --> 01:39:53,520 The recording came out amazing. You can check it out on Spotify. We'll put the link up. 2115 01:39:53,520 --> 01:39:59,200 If you guys. I'm on there the first 30 seconds. I'm the one screaming into the mic you know. 2116 01:39:59,200 --> 01:40:05,560 Into the stage Matthew Tate. But I was also the host of that evening. Sci-fi was also 2117 01:40:05,560 --> 01:40:11,120 on that show. So we got the crowd nice and excited to see Mr. Tate. It was one of the 2118 01:40:11,120 --> 01:40:15,320 best nights for sure. I wish I had recorded it but yeah. It was a crazy night. I have 2119 01:40:15,320 --> 01:40:20,560 the audio though. Okay. So yeah. Yeah what else is on there? Everybody wants to know 2120 01:40:20,560 --> 01:40:25,200 what's on there. Yeah. I just. I want to. You got to save yourself for the next time. You 2121 01:40:25,200 --> 01:40:32,000 called the Black Dog Grounds and Sounds your home club. Yo y'all are detectives. But it 2122 01:40:32,000 --> 01:40:39,400 was permanently closed in mid 2023. Wow. I'm impressed. I am impressed. I'm like Sean I'm 2123 01:40:39,400 --> 01:40:48,880 on Hot Ones. That's a good question. Yeah Black Dog was a coffee shop on the corner 2124 01:40:48,880 --> 01:40:56,760 of Shelton and Old Madison Pike. Behind a gas station. It actually used to be a gas 2125 01:40:56,760 --> 01:41:02,400 station. And there was an owner named Cliff and Leslie and Mr. Daniel Harden. Oh yeah. 2126 01:41:02,400 --> 01:41:06,280 Shout out. Shenanigans. He runs the Shenanigans. He runs the Shenanigans. Mike. Jokers Wild. 2127 01:41:06,280 --> 01:41:11,160 He's also on the apartment show with JJ. Oh hell yeah. Whatever name that is. I think 2128 01:41:11,160 --> 01:41:17,560 it's the second. And it was a coffee shop where the owners. It was the first time that 2129 01:41:17,560 --> 01:41:24,160 we really had someone outside of a comedy club that wanted to hear comedy. And we were 2130 01:41:24,160 --> 01:41:30,440 so wanted. And the owner of the shop Cliff he would. He built a stage for us. He moved 2131 01:41:30,440 --> 01:41:35,200 in chairs. He got nice speakers. They were a sound shop which means they sold like old 2132 01:41:35,200 --> 01:41:41,520 record equipment and sounds and stuff like it's it's a thing. And so the grounds with 2133 01:41:41,520 --> 01:41:46,160 the coffee obviously. And they sold old records and old record like paraphernalia. And so 2134 01:41:46,160 --> 01:41:53,920 we had a comedy show there every Thursday. And it was a space where I felt the most creative. 2135 01:41:53,920 --> 01:41:58,800 I felt like I had a creative streak going that year. And the jokes kept coming and they 2136 01:41:58,800 --> 01:42:04,000 kept hitting. Some of the best jokes. You know that new doctor joke was written there. 2137 01:42:04,000 --> 01:42:08,000 Performing first. That's the clip that will go up in like you know two weeks I think when 2138 01:42:08,000 --> 01:42:13,600 I start posting stand up clips again. You know Black Dog. It felt like my home club. 2139 01:42:13,600 --> 01:42:19,520 I felt that I called that on my. OK. Yeah. Yeah. I still to this day refer to it as my 2140 01:42:19,520 --> 01:42:26,920 home club as a place where not just that once comedy but that the audience was there to 2141 01:42:26,920 --> 01:42:34,000 see it. And he just it was it was a very creative time for me. And I am desperately trying to 2142 01:42:34,000 --> 01:42:40,320 get back to a black dog type of situation. It's just those things are once in a lifetime. 2143 01:42:40,320 --> 01:42:51,240 And another favorite of the Black Dog place was my man Heath Cordes. And so he and I were 2144 01:42:51,240 --> 01:42:57,040 there many many times working out material and some of our best bits were written on 2145 01:42:57,040 --> 01:43:03,120 that stage and they are closed. And I was devastated. I was devastated. Yep. Yep. Hell 2146 01:43:03,120 --> 01:43:07,120 yeah. All right. Well Jonathan first of all I want to say thank you for coming on. Thank 2147 01:43:07,120 --> 01:43:12,360 you. This has been a blast. I mean I know this episode is going to bang. Yeah I hope 2148 01:43:12,360 --> 01:43:21,520 I like said something. I know I know after every episode this episode is going to bang. 2149 01:43:21,520 --> 01:43:25,640 I just hope I did good. You did amazing. Now what we do now what you're going to do you're 2150 01:43:25,640 --> 01:43:29,720 going to talk into that camera right there. Anything you have to promote it will be written 2151 01:43:29,720 --> 01:43:35,880 on the screen next to you. And you got any shows coming up that come out in after a week. 2152 01:43:35,880 --> 01:43:40,960 Just hit them up right there. This camera right here. Yes sir. All right. First and 2153 01:43:40,960 --> 01:43:47,360 foremost I would appreciate if anyone followed me on all social media. Jonathan Silver comedy 2154 01:43:47,360 --> 01:43:57,520 on Instagram Facebook YouTube Pinterest Twitter which sucks and tick tock which also sucks 2155 01:43:57,520 --> 01:44:06,280 but not as much as Twitter. I have two open mics. One is every Tuesday at Pleasures Romance 2156 01:44:06,280 --> 01:44:13,480 boutique a sex shop on university hosted by myself and Nico Paris. And so just come out 2157 01:44:13,480 --> 01:44:19,160 and we like that mic for people to try weird material just weird stuff on that day. And 2158 01:44:19,160 --> 01:44:24,840 then I have the second open mic which is at straight to A.L. every other Thursday the 2159 01:44:24,840 --> 01:44:28,840 first and third Thursdays of the month and the speakeasy is straight to A.L. over on 2160 01:44:28,840 --> 01:44:33,840 Governor's Drive. That mic we like to try new material. So try new material there. That 2161 01:44:33,840 --> 01:44:38,080 mic the Senate was can get quite long. So either get there early or be prepared. But 2162 01:44:38,080 --> 01:44:42,720 I do switch the list around. So just you know just come talk to me. Then I have apartment 2163 01:44:42,720 --> 01:44:47,720 shows that are happening all over the city. Just hit me if you want to be on one. I usually 2164 01:44:47,720 --> 01:44:54,000 look for a tight five. So if you got a tight five that we could talk. And I also have don't 2165 01:44:54,000 --> 01:44:58,960 tell comedy. Don't tell comedy is a secret comedy show that happens in cities all over 2166 01:44:58,960 --> 01:45:04,920 the U.S. They're also international. There is don't tell comedy in London and in France 2167 01:45:04,920 --> 01:45:10,880 now. So if you want to come out to secret shows we have secret locations every single 2168 01:45:10,880 --> 01:45:16,280 month. We got one coming up this Saturday. And I would love for you all to buy tickets 2169 01:45:16,280 --> 01:45:23,120 to the don't tell comedy. If you like comedy videos follow me. And let's see. I know I'm 2170 01:45:23,120 --> 01:45:30,680 forgetting something. Let's let's leave it at that for now. Oh yeah. So yes. Thank you. 2171 01:45:30,680 --> 01:45:53,240 Thank you boy. Hey thanks again man. Appreciate it. Oh yeah. OK. Are we out.