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This week on clown college

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Then they'd be like you look like a Logan Roadhouse dinner roll and shit because I used to be bald my mom will cut

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My hair like in the kitchen. Oh, why is that the motion for cutting your hair?

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Cutting it with a fucking bow saw what happened?

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We could all go shit cat shopping together and it wouldn't even be gay a little bit dude, and how's it gay dude?

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It's all about pussy. Yeah

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Person with that we found our first clip

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This is the clown college podcast

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We're just a couple open micers trying to make our way through the scene where we interview

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Comedians throughout different stages of their comedy career no matter if they're open micers

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Headliners or traveling comedians, I'm here to Jamie 2.0. I just talked a lot more damn it Brandon

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Go sit in the corner

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Let's see how long it takes to get this apparatus

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I'm a fucking professional god damn it. You look very professional do business profession. Oh, yeah, thanks

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I'm a professional god damn it. You look very professional do business profession. Oh, yeah, thanks

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Y'all are playing America's team today. Yeah, we are America's team. We're owned by our fans

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Oh, yeah, I have is that is that for real? I've heard this

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They own like ownership in the team the fans. Yeah, there's no owner. That's a public

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Team the only team only team out there with no owner doesn't sound like America at all, man

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Yeah

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Jack brought us some proper 12. Hell. Yeah, yeah, Conor McGregor boom

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It'll make you jacked it has like

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Testosterone in it or something the steroids. That's what he's on. You see that fucking nose

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He's gonna fight again, I think he's gonna fight again though Michael Chandler, they you know, they got rid of the

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The drug test. Oh, yeah, they just yeah, that's why you coming back

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Their solution was just just to get rid of testing all together. Do you want prime Conor McGregor? He has to take steroids for that

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Dude, that's what I'm saying. Just let them all take steroids because why not baseball was way better when everybody was juiced a hundred percent baseball

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So I don't even like baseball but I watch a Martin McGuire and Barry Bonds was bombing fucking shit every game

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Welcome back to Plow College

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Fuckin

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Oh

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Are you doing bread man, I'm doing good man, I'm doing great had long good week

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Well, I got a good stand-up. It's been good. Hell. Yeah, man. Oh, yeah, Brandon like to hear

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Did you see Brandon murder a stand-up laugh? I did I did you did I texted him about it?

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Yeah, you did really good. I appreciate and then you replied and I was gonna reply but then I fell asleep

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Brandon is a bad texter. I am he's a terrible texter. Yeah, he texted me once asked me if I got home safely

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Which is strange considering I wasn't I didn't drink anything and smoke anything

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I had to do those we for the first horseshoe skit with the dip

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Oh, yeah, which I was fucked up off of it and I drove home and Brandon was so concerned

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He texted me at 1 in the morning. I left at like 8 p.m

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And he's like, did you get home? I was like, yeah, I managed I managed it was a battle

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But I managed and then he texted me again like two days later. He was like, oh good

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Really worried when you left that's a skit we could do what Brandon instead of a first responder he's the worst responder

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I'm just freaking out with you. Oh shit Brandon in various historical events, dude

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The Titanic he sees the iceberg, but then he goes on a smoke break. Yeah, it's still there

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Let me think on this I'll be like I saw it. I didn't see nothing

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I didn't want to bother you. Yeah, you were eating the sandwich. Everybody was so hyped

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It was supposed to be the biggest

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Vessel to go on the long. Yeah, you know what? I'll kill the vibe

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Fuck it up. It came from a good place

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Y'all remember now

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Oh

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But look we need to talk about Brandon Killing gonna stand up live

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He fucking murdered every and you were going off script too. I could tell and that shit was hitting too

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Oh and Alex got your set right? Yeah, be sensitive. So how about we insert a clip right here? Yeah

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Can

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Brandon said I hit him with that snack

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I was expecting the

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Badoom clicky

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So stand up live we got to do an open mic there that was good that was good and they were like

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It was like pretty much like an audition for future either showcase shows or being host

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Yeah, I think Jake Dan Price hosted this one Dan Price. So shout out to him. That's huge

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This is what comedy is he goes up there hosting. I think it's his first hosting gig, right?

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Well, he has hosted home. Okay, so it was this first. I mean second, but they were back-to-back

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Yeah, yeah, literally back-to-back right the same day. So this is his

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Hosting gig one of his first ones and he comes up there his zippers undone his flies open

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Yeah, I heard the call back but I wasn't there for the so he goes he goes up there

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I think Bryce or somebody tells like your flies over he turns around but that's fucking so hilarious

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He was and you could tell he did not

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Unless he just played it really really well, but yeah, I wasn't there

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Hey, let's do that though cuz some people be like, oh fuck it. Yeah, you just see some shit wangle in them

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Well and stand up live your dick is like right by their faces. Yeah

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True. You know what I mean? Like if they're in the front row, maybe that's why Bryce sat in the front

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Starting to make a lot more sense now

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Touched his microphone in the way that he did. Yep. Go back to episode four, I believe I think

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Well, I don't know which one it is. It's episode four. Is it episode four? Yeah, Bryce Fletcher

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He likes to stroke things and sit in front of cocks. Hey, nothing wrong with that. I'm not wrong with it

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We support that. Yeah, it's welcome Dan encouraged

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That's why they like you man, but uh

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Yeah before stand up live the homegrown show it went good Dan hosted that

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Okay, yeah ten minutes then I only did five then Daniel Castillo did ten and then sci-fi did thirty

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He killed that thirty shout out to sci-fi. Yeah, he killed shout out

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Speaking of sci-fi he's getting mad that his look for you

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I'm putting it in front of the kill Tony ball because you killed so hard. Yeah, I'm 30 minutes

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Yeah, we'll give you this. Are you bone? You want the applause with it? Give him an applause Brandon. Give him an applause. Good job

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I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry

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Yeah, he did really well at that show but

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What made me laugh so fucking hard man was I did my five and I walked to the back of the speakeasy

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You know like those little curved booths. Yeah

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Jalen was there he watched the show and sci-fi and I was sitting with them and there was this big long table in the middle

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Full of like middle-aged white people

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I think they were doing some family thing and the lady was showing her friend

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I got off stage and immediately went back there and a lady was showing her friend a picture of Danny McBride

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Can't ask Kenny Powers on her phone and I was like that has to be about

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And she was like he looks just like him and she's looking at me looking back at her friend didn't say a word to me

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I just don't exist in her world, dude. You're daddy big brother

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Yeah, can you believe that shit dude?

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That's hilarious

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Yeah, you don't know who he is

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We can have a whole nother conversation before he gets a picture

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What were you talking about love let him see

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You know from eastbound and down. Oh shit. Yeah, I know that dude. Yeah, yeah vice principals

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Yeah, maybe I should do the good teeth pineapple Express pineapple Express. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, right just gems

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Jim Stone

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He just pulled a me right?

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Oh

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So went to the grocery store today, you know, we're making some chili Jake months. He's gonna be on here

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Yeah, this motherfucker right he won't but I was gonna say he I'm pretty sure he did the best at stand-up live

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Oh, yeah, he killed he did the best. I think it was like him and Brandon

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I believe were the best too in my in my opinion and the crowds opinion because they were popping but

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so we're making chili cuz he's white and

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With a side of potato salad

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So went to the store everything is out because they're about to be like it's about to be like

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Single digit degrees here and when that happens in Alabama, dude, the whole city plummets. Oh, yeah

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Operational that's like walkers in Illinois. It'll be like three feet

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It's not but you still need to get to work, you know that but they got the trucks and shit to clear it up

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Go there nothing's there

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And I was there was no bread and only the bread was there was like the great value bread

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Which is hard and shit and like the bunny bread bullshit, dude

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Because great value bread the sandwich bread blue label pack or whatever

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It used to be 88 cents for like five years

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And then they crept it up to 93 and now it's a full-blown dollar. Yeah, I wouldn't notice inflation

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I noticed mm-hmm. She's crazy. That's what I mean. Y'all wanted to elect Biden. That's what fucking happens big state

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I would like to say this. I don't know anything about Paul. I know very minimal people say Ron DeSantis

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I don't even know if that's his name the Santas in that Florida guy. Yeah, Santa Claus

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People say shit about him. Go to our intel guy back here Jack. I

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Don't know anything about him. I seriously don't know any I know something about Disney World and that he hates trans people

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Yeah, he just wanted I've heard

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He's yogurt with his I don't like him now

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I don't want to shake your hand your morals are fucked up of your finger finger and yogurt

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Yeah, yeah, you got to be deep down into it got to get out the crevices though. My brother used to do that shit

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He's a tear them pudding cups up. He used to fuck them

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and

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couture

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We name couture

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couture

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well, so you get in there and you uh

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He used to fuck these motherfuckers up like he'll eat it with the spoon at first and then you see him go down like a

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chicken he'd be like

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Tearing that shit the fuck

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He'll get mad at me for saying that you know the kids at my school used to do back in the day man

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Huh like ten years ago. Yeah, what they would do is get yogurt cups and they go up get it real quick

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Suck it in like that. Yeah, dude. Did you did you ever Brandon?

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This is probably more you were probably too old for this, but yeah, no, no, I'm not taking this shot. Okay

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This is like 2013

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Yeah, we'll say 2007

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Oh, you know, we probably still had a white president, you know, but um, which times they animals the yogurt fuck they they made

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a crush cup

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Then the whole stick the whole marketing behind it was that you could crush it and just eat it and I remember seeing a commercial

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For this when I was like seven or eight and I'm like, that's fucking awesome

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I remember that but I got them and I used it and I realized

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Every yogurt is a fucking crush cup. I

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I fell for that fucking marketing. I'm like if you just squeeze it, it's the same fucking thing. That's all was

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It's the regular

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Hold on wrong one. That was funny man

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No, I was like I remember being like seven and doing it and looking at like the other yogurt my grandparents had in the face

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I'm like, that's just the normal like packing device. You can do that with any of that. Yeah, I

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Felt so betrayed dude. Now is the first time I failed for like the American capitalism, bro

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I've been pissed ever since yeah. Yeah, it's insane

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You first that then great value breads a full-on dollar full-on dollar and it's shit bread

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It's all it has it's not great unless you want it multi grain which in Alabama that was all there

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You don't understand it was full of my great dude. What do you say? I've devoted years of my life

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This is what I was getting industry

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What I worked as a merchandiser for every bread company, okay can imagine dude. I know

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Everything about these companies do I know the best breads the shittiest breads

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I know which breads you should buy for like pregnant women and shit. I know everything

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So what's the best bread the best bread like taste wise?

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Mm-hmm that you can get is the Sara Lee artisano bread. Okay, it's thick. It's like a thick cut

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You can get it in regular brioche. They have dessert loaves

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Oh maple maple syrup cinnamon. They have like a seasonal like pumpkin spice one make French toast with that

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You don't it's it's an it's a different experience. Okay. Okay, I'm telling you what's the best?

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Bang for your buck bang for your buck shit, dude. I would go bunny

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Honey wheat dude bunny honey wheat bunny honey wheat. I got a question

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What's the best bread for black people the best bread for black people?

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Um, well, I would say probably the same as white people man, but like black in particular

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Yeah, because you know like some Johnny black. Oh, man, you get this your cholesterol might be higher sound

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Keto bread man, you know bread get the keto way the Lewis keto bread

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I want to be real careful with that one dude, dude. I used to get that when I was on keto. Yeah

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It did I did I didn't stay but when I was on and the

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I

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Got you hold up there was a right one. It's always

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But that Lewis bread the Hawaiian Lewis bread

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Oh, I mean why and keto bread? Yeah, yeah, she's good, but it's like a half loaf for like 590

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Yeah, you do or now it's probably up to like 624. That's insane

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That is insane. But when you're on keto that shit tastes like fucking have like yeah

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It tastes like you got it straight from France bakery and they got keto buns. Yeah, but those are I ain't keto buns

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But those are why I never tried the Hawaiian ones

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But the keto buns Lewis used to have were like I ain't taste good taste like shit kit

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Lewis was the first company to do that man. Shout out to Lewis

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Nobody gives a fuck about this conversation, but they were on that way before anybody else. Yeah, and they got the best stuff. I

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I like their stuff people like people fall for like the fancier packaging

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So they're not gonna buy Lewis as much as based off that but it's the best affordable quality bread

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No, it's a okay in this conversation. Nobody gives a single fuck about first of all

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You're a bread connoisseur you worked in this we need to know I want to learn to okay now I'm going about you

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Guarantee, I'm going to buy Sara Lee artist in the artisano

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I'm telling you dude. It's so good. It's so fucking good. I don't know but it's a hundred and ten calories a slice

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Hey, that's a kick as fuck. Don't we worried about calories over there?

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I'm just I just told you I wasn't okay for all the health conscious people out there. You know, it's 110. That's a lot

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Yeah, how much is a regular? I mean a regular like bunny bread like if you were to buy a

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Healthy life Lewis bread like any of those one slice is 35 calories

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Yeah, but that's I mean, but like a regular like bunny bread. What's their slice? Probably?

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If there's like honey, we probably 60. Okay, so 60 so like half it is significant

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Yeah, that is good. It's me. I'm also I will say this and I'm glad that I'm getting a chance to talk about this

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I am the world's best. I swear to you. I am the world's best at making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich challenge

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I truly believe in myself in that Avenue more so than anything else

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Like if there was like open mics for making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, I'll be up there

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I'd knock everybody's fucking socks off, dude

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I'd be the Roscoe Ray Nathan a peanut butter and jelly making dude. Oh seven years

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Shoes. Yo, can you make something after this? Yes and hot chocolate? I'm really passionate about my ability may hot chocolate

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Are you using packets? Are you using actual chocolate? Yeah

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Using pack. Yeah

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I wear a clip-on tie fucking go into South American picking cacao beans make this fucking hot chocolate

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Okay, it's it's Swiss miss. It's Nestle

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Yeah, whatever the fuck we got in the pantry, but that's it's my resourcefulness my craftiness

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Comparable to like Odysseus in the Odyssey dude. That's what makes me special man. I make the best out of a bad situation

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Okay. Okay. Well you use a milk or water. Oh

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That's a good question. I actually prefer water milk in the microwave. That just seems bad

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Mm-hmm. I don't know. That's definitely not halal or kosher. No can't do that. You can't do that over here

219
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,080
We have a Jewish person on the podcast today

220
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Everything has to be cool. We found Amelia Earhart and we're getting her on the pod

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Congratulations wearing a scarf

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You know, he's wearing the leather jacket. I won't have it in if he doesn't come here with the leather jacket

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I would be all right

224
00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:39,160
Yeah, he has to come here with this leather jacket. Oh, Jake Montes. Uh, you seen him on

225
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episode three three with Nico and

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It was crazy cuz he wasn't really supposed to be doing this JJ had to go and he filled in for him

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Yeah, and then I my editing skills weren't that good. Nico's like

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Nick cuz we made a lot of Jewish jokes on that right and then he's like you cut out every part that I was saying

229
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I'm not a part of this

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I didn't even realize I did it. I had no clue. I did it and I was like watching the back

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Well, I did do that. We're clearing Nico's name. Yeah episodes later. Yeah with Nico did not he doesn't harbor any anti-Jewish

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That's me

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Just dumb

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Okay, I love the juice

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My boss juice that but I guarantee you that like a Jake's leather jacket is not like bovine leather

236
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It's not cow. It's probably something like kangaroo leather

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That's authentic leather. No, it's authentic, but it's just not from the animal that you think it's wrong

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Like it's some weird shit like oh, yeah, you know, they use this method back in the day

239
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It's like a fighter pilot Jack. He's that kind of yeah

240
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I was sitting in his living room the other day and I thought he had like a pool cue

241
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Sitting in the corner and like like that, you know how they have like the ones that break in half

242
00:19:51,240 --> 00:19:56,140
Yeah, yeah cases and shit. I thought that's what it was. I was like, oh man. I didn't know you were in a pool like that

243
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He was like no, that's a sword. Yeah, I was like what and it's a cane but the handle popped out and it's a fucking sword

244
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I'm like dude what Jake thinks he's a king. He has decorative like arms all

245
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Apart me has a fucking Civil War musket. Yep, and he has this cane sword. He has the katana

246
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He bought Jalen a knife when he went away to Alaska by jail. I'm heartbroken. I think he leaves today actually

247
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:28,960
Yeah, he's leaving today to go to Atlanta. We're gonna miss him Jalen Brown first episode great great fucking guy

248
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And I'm fucking hilarious, but I'm happy for him cuz he's gonna go there work on my cruise

249
00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:38,860
Tour I don't know that something where they do like a dope though

250
00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:41,560
What's that shit called tour buses like sure?

251
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:45,240
Yeah tour guide and where you get to make the jokes and that's why they wanted a comedian

252
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:49,120
Yeah, and then you get to go to Alaska a lot of people don't go to Alaska

253
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You know what I mean, and then get to see the Northern Lights all he's going. Can you imagine Jalen at the Northern Lights?

254
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It's like they're meant to be together. He might just absolve into the Northern Lights

255
00:20:57,040 --> 00:21:04,440
What would you call a wolf watching the Northern Lights? Oh, what do you call it? I don't know. I still got a thing

256
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wolf ahead lights

257
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I just that's that's so hilarious man. I Jalen in Alaska

258
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It makes so much sense, but no sense at the same time. I'm gonna miss him though, dude

259
00:21:21,560 --> 00:21:27,120
He told me the Crispus Attucks of Huntsville comedy only he's gonna understand what I'm talking about

260
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Crispus Attucks was a African American man that got shot during the Boston Massacre in like

261
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1773 and me and Jalen just joked about it because uh

262
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They have a sci-fi was talking about in the show Luke Cage. Yeah that Marvel made

263
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They're having a some kind of I never watched this show

264
00:21:49,740 --> 00:21:53,900
But they were having some kind of argument outside of the Crispus Attucks

265
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Community Center or whatever and it's just funny because Crispus Attucks didn't really do anything historically significant

266
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He was just there and got shot and they named a building after him

267
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I was getting ready to say how the fuck do you know?

268
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Who the fuck what'd you say his name was? Crispus Attucks dude did you go to fifth grade?

269
00:22:13,100 --> 00:22:20,620
Yeah, yeah, like you know they get really hyper specific about weird things in American history and like the

270
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Public school curriculum. Yeah, so everybody knows who Helen Keller is she didn't really I mean

271
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it's up to debate whether or not she existed and what she did do is like

272
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Semi-significant, I guess I'm not trying to be an asshole. It's like how do you learn to read them?

273
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Right if you can't hear or speak or see how do you learn to write?

274
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But how do you learn Braille because you have to have some kind of understanding of the English language or any language before you learn Braille?

275
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Like if she's like in real conspiratorial, it's like you can

276
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Alright this and then you grab this and then put her hand over and that's what this means keep on doing that

277
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But she can't hear

278
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Mm-hmm, and then you put walk

279
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Okay, but she can't but she can't hear

280
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She can't hear or see yeah, she could feel yeah, but if you're saying you just said can

281
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No, I'm just saying I'm just saying for the people at home

282
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But if you if you came up to me and I couldn't hear see or speak right

283
00:23:19,820 --> 00:23:20,140
Yeah

284
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You put this in there and then you had some kind of writing right here

285
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And that's what I didn't identify as this or like you're like water you would do that and then eventually you'll get it

286
00:23:29,420 --> 00:23:34,580
But how does she know to retain that information cuz she's fucking still human being he has a brain

287
00:23:34,580 --> 00:23:39,340
She doesn't know she doesn't know any basic like language or concepts because

288
00:23:40,020 --> 00:23:43,500
She even if she started to be able to hear she wouldn't know what the fuck we're saying

289
00:23:43,500 --> 00:23:45,020
But she'd still be able to read it

290
00:23:45,020 --> 00:23:49,420
Maybe I'm just dumb because if I could not hear or see for my entire life

291
00:23:49,420 --> 00:23:52,100
And you hand me a can and then make me touch some weird shit

292
00:23:52,100 --> 00:23:59,260
I don't know what the fuck is going on its repetition. You'll eventually know so if it's water was the thing

293
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She wants some water

294
00:24:01,700 --> 00:24:08,340
She wants some water you know I don't know if they probably beat it into her you can be that's good

295
00:24:08,340 --> 00:24:11,940
That's a good way you beat shit in people. Hey, who's she gonna tell dude?

296
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I don't support violence but

297
00:24:24,180 --> 00:24:28,580
Don't you love the UFC Brandon yes, I love the fucking UFC and boxing

298
00:24:29,460 --> 00:24:34,820
Consider that violence. Yeah, that's very violent. I mean when you do it like a sport and you getting paid. I guess that's cool man

299
00:24:35,420 --> 00:24:37,420
Yeah, so

300
00:24:37,700 --> 00:24:41,540
Defending yourself to yeah violence is only okay if you get paid for it dude

301
00:24:41,540 --> 00:24:46,100
That's why we invaded Iraq. Yeah, we needed that oil. Yeah, we got some big money

302
00:24:46,740 --> 00:24:48,180
Yeah

303
00:24:48,180 --> 00:24:50,180
Yeah, I fucked Iraq out

304
00:24:51,300 --> 00:24:53,300
That was fucked up

305
00:24:54,780 --> 00:25:00,020
And the thing was why the fuck we got Iraq if if one is an Iraq person who did it

306
00:25:01,260 --> 00:25:04,460
You know what I'm saying like it was it there I?

307
00:25:05,500 --> 00:25:07,500
Know I'm not supposed to be saying

308
00:25:07,500 --> 00:25:09,500
But like I'm like I'm like oh

309
00:25:09,500 --> 00:25:11,500
It wasn't Lee Harvey Oswald

310
00:25:11,500 --> 00:25:16,060
They try to put all the stuff like oh Saddam Hussein used to kill people what the fuck they got to do with us

311
00:25:16,980 --> 00:25:19,780
I'm just saying what the fuck they got to do with us true

312
00:25:19,780 --> 00:25:25,900
Well, we go it over there fuck with these people for you know what they did big change. He wanted that money. He wanted that oil

313
00:25:26,820 --> 00:25:29,260
What else what the fuck will we be over there?

314
00:25:29,660 --> 00:25:32,220
Yeah, no, but that's been going on forever, right?

315
00:25:32,220 --> 00:25:38,300
Like the Gulf of Tonkin thing with Vietnam Lyndon Johnson was like, yeah, they fucking they instigated it

316
00:25:38,300 --> 00:25:44,540
But not really same thing with the Lusitania dude Spanish-American war dude. I think that's what it was can't remember

317
00:25:44,540 --> 00:25:46,380
Maybe it was World War one

318
00:25:46,380 --> 00:25:53,260
No, it was the main the USS main got blown up in a Havana Harbor. That was an early 1900s

319
00:25:55,260 --> 00:25:58,380
I taught I taught a high school history lesson on this

320
00:25:58,380 --> 00:26:03,860
I taught it at a real high school on the Spanish-American war dude yellow journalism and all that shit

321
00:26:03,860 --> 00:26:08,980
Which is just like fake news the og fake news. Okay yellow journalism where they were stretching the truth

322
00:26:08,980 --> 00:26:11,540
Not saying the real shit that they call it because of Asians

323
00:26:14,340 --> 00:26:18,900
No, they actually didn't allow them to participate in media. Okay, I didn't know

324
00:26:20,220 --> 00:26:23,900
It's like I don't know. I don't know why they yellow I guess like

325
00:26:24,700 --> 00:26:31,500
Yellow-bellied cowardly like lying about I don't know. Okay. I don't know if we're gonna idea but teaching public school was terrible

326
00:26:31,500 --> 00:26:37,140
So if you are a public school teacher, like seriously, I respect you. I don't understand how you did it

327
00:26:37,140 --> 00:26:42,220
I could not hang with that shit. I taught like 10th and 11th graders. Mm-hmm and

328
00:26:43,060 --> 00:26:48,300
They all of them were high all the time and also the school I taught out was like inner city

329
00:26:48,300 --> 00:26:54,300
It was 85% black and Hispanic and a lot of the Hispanic students could not speak speak English like at all

330
00:26:54,300 --> 00:26:59,000
Oh, I'm not even joking like they straight up. So like I didn't know what to do. I was like

331
00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:05,900
um, yeah, just you know your friend student teacher and the lady that I'm teaching under my

332
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:08,600
Cooperating teacher who's supposed to be teaching me what to do

333
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:08,840
Yeah

334
00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:15,080
She is she told me that she told her son wanted to go to college to be a teacher and she was like

335
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:20,080
I will not support you if you do that, but she's a teacher and she's supposed to be teaching me how to be a teacher

336
00:27:21,120 --> 00:27:27,040
Nobody gives a fuck dude. What I'm saying is the published like education system in the United States over dude

337
00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,180
I mean you got things some of these kids bad as hell

338
00:27:29,180 --> 00:27:34,720
Yeah, and you and you'd be like when you work, oh this teacher ain't supposed to do that. All right

339
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:41,960
How these motherfuckers they bout grown true 16 big-ass 16 year olds talking shit. They might like whoop your ass. Yeah

340
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:48,160
I mean break down hella fights you did five fights in like a few the few weeks that I was there

341
00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:51,880
One dude was fighting his girlfriend in class. It was crazy

342
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:57,440
He was a he was the tight end for the football team and they were having like an argument at the desk

343
00:27:57,440 --> 00:27:58,560
They were in groups of four

344
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:04,040
Him and his girlfriend were sitting next to each other and another girl was sitting on the other side and he was like touching

345
00:28:04,040 --> 00:28:09,160
Her under the table right next to his girlfriend and she got pissed and said something about it and they started fighting right there

346
00:28:09,480 --> 00:28:15,040
It was insane blowing. Yeah for real and she hung in there dude. I salute her more power to her

347
00:28:16,360 --> 00:28:18,360
Iron iron chin on her

348
00:28:18,360 --> 00:28:25,720
She took a couple good ones. Yeah, she stayed up. Did you follow through her dad must have been a marine or something?

349
00:28:26,440 --> 00:28:30,120
She was pretty admirable not gonna lie in a weird way

350
00:28:30,120 --> 00:28:33,960
Yeah, but the first time I ever went in to meet my CT

351
00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:38,840
It was during like the zero period when they're all these students are like working on their homework or whatever

352
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:46,360
She had her planning period where no students were in her room except like a couple I walked in and there's two girls sitting there

353
00:28:46,360 --> 00:28:49,440
And I sweat this is the first time I ever walked into this school to meet her

354
00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:53,120
Uh-huh. I walk over to her desk and I hear behind me the two girls in the corner

355
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:55,120
Yeah, he's kind of cute for a white guy

356
00:28:55,800 --> 00:28:57,800
We just got started off on the wrong foot

357
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:02,280
This is gonna be miserable all the students were high all the time

358
00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:07,520
And I'd like mess with them because they would know that I would know and then they'd ask me shit like oh

359
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:11,040
Do you think you could like get me something? I'm like, bro. No

360
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:13,760
I'm not going to jail hails

361
00:29:13,760 --> 00:29:19,560
And especially not for public teacher like public school teacher salary. It's not worth it, dude. Oh hell

362
00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:22,680
This was an unpaid internship by the way

363
00:29:23,800 --> 00:29:28,800
Hell no, I didn't you should like leave and dip out and go to like the break room when you were teaching

364
00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:32,360
No, she's still being there. She'd be at her desk like grading papers

365
00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:36,520
But I don't understand how you could fail the class

366
00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:41,920
Like there would be students who had F's and it's just because they didn't turn anything in at all

367
00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:44,360
They all got Chromebooks like laptops

368
00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:50,280
You can you do all your work on that and you can just look up the answers true

369
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:54,000
it's just searching it on the internet and typing the answer in and

370
00:29:54,560 --> 00:30:01,760
They'd still just not turn it in and failing class. We are fucked bro. I know you said we're losing the next war

371
00:30:02,080 --> 00:30:08,720
Seriously, we are dude. We're gonna have to start importing from other countries get some greater minds because we're fucked over here

372
00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:12,120
You could pass the cinderblock through the US like education system

373
00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:17,920
I swear to God you can make like a ghost identity for a student that doesn't even actually go to school and the teacher would

374
00:30:17,920 --> 00:30:20,520
Just pass them. I swear to you. Yeah, we're number one folks

375
00:30:22,400 --> 00:30:24,640
And what number one at what

376
00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:28,480
Tom foolery

377
00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:30,480
shenanigans and the likes

378
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:34,200
What's your craziest

379
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:41,640
School story my craziest school story damn man. I got so many of them. I got so many only think of one you talking about like

380
00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:47,120
What type of situations I'll give a damn wet what pops in your mind when you just like that shit happened at school

381
00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:51,280
That's what a wild thing that happened to me in school. I remember one time I

382
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:53,600
Saw this damn

383
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:59,080
I remember I saw this PE coach and she was running with this kid and apparently what he did was he kept fucking around with

384
00:30:59,080 --> 00:31:01,160
the trampoline and in his head just like

385
00:31:01,160 --> 00:31:04,400
So she was just holding it together running with my oh my gosh

386
00:31:05,280 --> 00:31:07,280
Wait, whoa

387
00:31:07,440 --> 00:31:12,760
You got a trampoline at PE class? Yeah, they had a trampoline at PE class. He like jumped off and like BOOM

388
00:31:13,040 --> 00:31:18,440
Busted his head open. Yes, he did all the way open. Yeah, basically man. Like she was she was holding it together

389
00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:20,440
Yes, yeah, he was fucked up

390
00:31:20,880 --> 00:31:26,040
Did he live? Oh yeah, he lived. He lived. He had scars on his head. Yeah, like big ass dick

391
00:31:26,040 --> 00:31:28,040
like right out of baseball, you know

392
00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:30,040
Damn

393
00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:32,520
Fuck you look like the Mets mascot

394
00:31:33,520 --> 00:31:36,040
And then I remember another scene this is this kid

395
00:31:36,600 --> 00:31:40,460
Used to always like he was real small and he would push around people

396
00:31:40,460 --> 00:31:45,080
He puts this one dudes like a hippie and then a hippie like pushed him back and then this dude ran up

397
00:31:45,080 --> 00:31:46,400
He's like, hey man, don't hit my niggas

398
00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:52,360
Just boom straight in the face and then a titty grew on his head and he walked through the whole like field doing this

399
00:31:52,440 --> 00:31:54,920
the whole time like Jesus

400
00:31:54,920 --> 00:32:00,120
What? He beat this dick ass. Yeah, like a whole mouthful

401
00:32:00,120 --> 00:32:06,280
Wait, wait, who was the hippie guy? Was this another student? Yes. He was another student. He was so chill, man

402
00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:11,200
He always had the bad end. I remember this girl that was like Rasputin ripped off his jacket. He was like why the fuck me?

403
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:12,960
I was like, I'm sorry

404
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:14,960
He just told five different stories

405
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:15,960
He did stuff like that

406
00:32:15,960 --> 00:32:16,760
That was insane

407
00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:19,680
There's so much crazy shit man that happened at that school

408
00:32:19,680 --> 00:32:26,120
I almost got hit by a car one time because this sister this stuff doesn't got mad because they were fighting

409
00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:32,400
They were scrapping outside the basketball court and we were all just watching their system. Hell no nobody gonna hit my brother

410
00:32:32,400 --> 00:32:34,160
I don't care if they ten years old

411
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:39,600
So she and then she got in the car and tried to run us all over and we all had like jump out the way shit

412
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:42,780
And then the dude ran I was like now I'm calling the cops

413
00:32:42,780 --> 00:32:50,060
We should have been caught a cop she really tried to hit you did she really drove on the line try to hit the gas

414
00:32:50,180 --> 00:32:56,040
Yes, I really got on the line and tried to get us. She didn't give a fuck this you go to jail

415
00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,940
No, she just took off with him. Like nobody did nothing

416
00:33:00,540 --> 00:33:04,100
What yeah, we just like she just tried to murder a group of like ten-year-old

417
00:33:04,900 --> 00:33:10,220
Nobody was around just us. I mean, I mean the people were inside but they were just sitting you didn't tell your mom and that

418
00:33:10,220 --> 00:33:12,220
No, we live

419
00:33:14,660 --> 00:33:16,660
It's a good mindset

420
00:33:20,660 --> 00:33:26,500
Attempted murders not murder. Exactly. It's a this ain't our first rodeo speaking of rodeos

421
00:33:33,380 --> 00:33:38,380
Branding you think you're gonna get the dent in your head from wearing the headphones. Are you worried about that at all?

422
00:33:38,380 --> 00:33:42,980
So like I already got that dent man. I got a lot of dense my hair but the hair the hair is gonna protect it

423
00:33:42,980 --> 00:33:49,260
Though yeah, you think you have like good structural integrity in your skull cap. I know I got a big head

424
00:33:49,260 --> 00:33:51,260
So I think so good answer

425
00:33:52,580 --> 00:33:56,580
Brandy you got the biggest head in school man. You look like mr. Potato head

426
00:33:56,580 --> 00:34:00,020
So we can't Williams was talking about Steve Harvey that brought back a lot of memories

427
00:34:00,020 --> 00:34:05,980
Are you scared of cat Williams dude warming up to

428
00:34:09,500 --> 00:34:12,740
Then they'd be like you look like a Logan Roadhouse dinner roll and shit

429
00:34:13,100 --> 00:34:16,380
Because I used to be bald my mom will cut my hair like in the kitchen

430
00:34:16,380 --> 00:34:22,300
Well, oh, why is that the motion for cutting your hair cutting it with a fucking bow song?

431
00:34:22,300 --> 00:34:29,740
What's happening just cut you to your balls shit all right there brandy you're watching back you like maybe I should

432
00:34:35,940 --> 00:34:40,260
Here comes airplane, okay, hold on that's not better I'm cutting hair

433
00:34:42,220 --> 00:34:45,480
I don't know what the fuck you're doing the clippers and they go

434
00:34:45,480 --> 00:34:51,320
Why you hold the clippers like that? Oh, no, I'm not cutting my hair. I'm cutting somebody else. Yeah, I

435
00:34:52,360 --> 00:34:54,560
Don't know how to hold clippers and I never cut hair

436
00:34:55,240 --> 00:35:00,120
He's trying. Yeah, I was like if I hold some clippers this I cut like people like he cut the back of mine

437
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:03,620
Oh shit, they like he cut the back of my hair and I just do I hold up man

438
00:35:03,620 --> 00:35:05,620
Let me try to because I don't know how to code that

439
00:35:06,320 --> 00:35:10,800
How do y'all hold clippers? I'll be if I was gonna say clippers. I'll be like that

440
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:15,680
Oh, if I was gonna say cuz if you if you cut and you know, they got the waves you got cut with it

441
00:35:15,960 --> 00:35:19,480
And then if you got straight hair, you got to cut again. You go with the flow of the water, dude

442
00:35:19,480 --> 00:35:21,480
But it definitely is not like this

443
00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:25,360
Not the way I see it now, that's not the way

444
00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:31,400
You know what you get there look like a point of view here something that's not good

445
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:35,760
We can edit that footage yeah

446
00:35:35,760 --> 00:35:41,480
The power of AI can do some magical my god and he got me I approved this mess

447
00:35:42,880 --> 00:35:45,600
Well, he just gave it to us fuck we're cutting that up

448
00:35:45,600 --> 00:36:01,040
I'd like to rev up this off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Everybody watch some clips clip of the week. No mix that German half black

449
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:09,040
See

450
00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:13,040
I'm half black half white like a panda bear

451
00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:15,040
Cut them in like one two

452
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:17,040
cute

453
00:36:17,040 --> 00:36:22,560
Okay, so there's a few things to break down here right first of all you get called a black bitch. Yeah

454
00:36:22,560 --> 00:36:28,560
That's what she said if you didn't hear it by the Asian girl with Tourette's that you publicly shamed last week. Yeah

455
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:32,320
Yeah, lover lover to death and then she says

456
00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:36,720
Hail Hitler. Yeah, you support that message. Well, and then

457
00:36:36,720 --> 00:36:40,400
And then you call yourself cute and go like and throw your leg up

458
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:44,320
So there was a lot to break down in that clip that happened within a short amount of time

459
00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:47,360
There's a few calamities

460
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:51,760
In that period so I was a fan of that clip. I knew I knew it was coming

461
00:36:52,720 --> 00:36:54,480
Ming mem

462
00:36:54,480 --> 00:37:01,120
Min, yeah, she's funny too. She's really very when she come but you know, she has Tourette's and

463
00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:03,760
She was doing it the whole night. I knew it was coming

464
00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:06,240
But I couldn't think of anything to go back

465
00:37:06,400 --> 00:37:11,280
But I know whenever I say something about German she always goes hell hitler's. I was like at least we'll bring the few

466
00:37:11,280 --> 00:37:13,760
in purposefully triggering that

467
00:37:14,960 --> 00:37:19,360
Dude, I just I know last week. I used another clip where men called you something else

468
00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:25,200
Yeah, and I think this is a good recurring thing to have you battling men. Oh, yeah when she got up there

469
00:37:25,200 --> 00:37:30,480
It was funny. She said because I got a joke in there talking about I'm so single right and then she says

470
00:37:30,480 --> 00:37:34,240
She says I'm single. I'm looking for somebody not you dog

471
00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:37,040
Damn not Tourette's. Yeah

472
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:43,200
No, I just don't fuck with you

473
00:37:44,000 --> 00:37:46,000
It almost hurts worse dude

474
00:37:46,640 --> 00:37:51,760
Jake Jake went hard on uh, went hard on and she loves it though. Oh, yeah when I was walking out

475
00:37:51,760 --> 00:37:55,440
She was there. She was like that was the best thing ever. Jake just went uh

476
00:37:56,080 --> 00:37:58,080
Jake with him Jake was like, oh my god

477
00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:03,440
Just where uh, well jake would ham jake was fucked up too drunk for loco. Yeah, no for loco

478
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:09,280
Yeah, that for loco did have me fucking I haven't drunk one of those in

479
00:38:10,080 --> 00:38:15,280
10 years something like that. Do you want to get belligerently drunk for four dollars and 50 cents, dude?

480
00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:20,080
Go to a gas station buy a four loco get the red white and blue one if you're an american man

481
00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:26,320
They got a warheads for loco. I can't remember if I talked about that before but that's gotta be just like

482
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:30,560
The piss you take after that's got to be insane. You got to feel like you got the clap

483
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:41,600
Forehead that didn't sound good. Oh hold up. I don't want cross-eyed. I thought he was having a fucking stroke

484
00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:49,760
He was just looking and then you went all across I was like fuck dude, he's having an episode

485
00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:55,520
Yeah, no, I see something in the corner of that. Oh man. Yeah, you got to see the you'll see

486
00:38:56,800 --> 00:38:58,800
Oh my god, man, and that too else

487
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:01,200
You're one eye went right here

488
00:39:02,400 --> 00:39:04,400
You just spaz dude

489
00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:11,380
Oh shit, all right, let's see jj

490
00:39:11,380 --> 00:39:19,620
Go I'm a little drunk so uh, if I don't say a slur this will be a victory

491
00:39:20,740 --> 00:39:26,820
I stand by that. No, I have this problem where people will assume that i'm a lot more southern than I actually am

492
00:39:26,900 --> 00:39:30,020
Just based off the way that I look and I get it, you know

493
00:39:30,100 --> 00:39:33,460
I look like i'm always one month right away from committing a hate crime

494
00:39:36,100 --> 00:39:38,100
But i'm not actually country like that

495
00:39:38,100 --> 00:39:43,540
You know, I don't listen to country music. I don't wear cowboy boots. I'll say the n-word and public

496
00:39:46,660 --> 00:39:48,420
That's it

497
00:39:48,420 --> 00:39:50,020
I don't dude

498
00:39:50,020 --> 00:39:52,020
I don't there was not a lie

499
00:39:52,020 --> 00:39:55,700
In that set dude, I love when you I love when you open with that joke

500
00:39:56,420 --> 00:39:57,220
Yeah

501
00:39:57,220 --> 00:40:03,380
I I kind of got traumatized after we bombed on homegrown because I opened with that but that's worked

502
00:40:03,380 --> 00:40:09,780
At several other places it's worked since and I opened with that at the homegrown right before that

503
00:40:10,420 --> 00:40:14,020
So and it did okay. So I mean because jj was on another show

504
00:40:14,580 --> 00:40:16,580
Homegrown show your producer on there now, right?

505
00:40:17,300 --> 00:40:23,380
I don't I I think so. I mean i'm on it like every month except for next month because it's black history month

506
00:40:23,540 --> 00:40:28,820
We gotta put an end to this affirmative action bullshit, dude. Tell them i'm out i'm out of my job. This is our month

507
00:40:28,820 --> 00:40:33,460
I love it go catch go catch jonathan sci-fi ty funny

508
00:40:33,940 --> 00:40:38,900
And I can't remember who else is on it go catch that february and then um

509
00:40:39,540 --> 00:40:41,540
The fuck were we talking about we'll put a flower out for

510
00:40:42,180 --> 00:40:46,180
You know, I can't remember shit. Oh, yeah, I don't know if i'm a producer on it

511
00:40:46,740 --> 00:40:49,620
But yeah, i'm i don't even know what being a producer means

512
00:40:50,420 --> 00:40:54,580
Really? Well, we did we had to do it without jonathan because uh, he just had his new child

513
00:40:54,580 --> 00:40:56,580
Wow congratulations jonathan

514
00:40:57,160 --> 00:40:59,160
The silver family

515
00:40:59,400 --> 00:41:02,200
Another little silver dollar to the bunch. Hell yeah

516
00:41:02,680 --> 00:41:05,960
But uh, so we had to run it without him and that was that was pretty

517
00:41:06,600 --> 00:41:12,040
Stressful. So shout out to people who actually like run the shows man, because that shit is not easy

518
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:14,360
We had to go bark all the restaurants

519
00:41:14,360 --> 00:41:19,480
Yeah, put up the signs and stuff and tell people what was going on set up the mic and everything

520
00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:21,320
Which it wasn't all that hard

521
00:41:21,320 --> 00:41:25,320
But in the moment when it's like your first time doing it damn there's a lot of shit that goes into this

522
00:41:25,320 --> 00:41:30,440
I don't usually think about yeah. All I usually think about when i'm on a show is not bombing. Yeah

523
00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:36,600
But they gotta do yeah. Yeah. Shout out to jonathan everybody with that shit. Oh, yeah

524
00:41:37,400 --> 00:41:39,560
It's a skill. Oh, yeah. All right

525
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:43,400
Y'all gonna be ready for this. It's gonna be a fucking blast. Yeah

526
00:41:43,720 --> 00:41:48,280
You might not see dom next week dude, if the packers lose, you'll be in a very dark place

527
00:41:48,280 --> 00:41:51,240
We're shooting this early, even though I am drinking hard liquor

528
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:56,440
This is before the packers game jakes will be before the packers game too. We need to be done here at 3 30

529
00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:01,560
That's just how it goes down hard stop at 3 30. Oh, yeah

530
00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:08,520
Oh shit the packers are on you my whole shit i gotta go we'll set it down

531
00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:14,520
Oh, it's the cowboys and the packers dude. I didn't even realize i'm a lion. Do you do your pose?

532
00:42:14,520 --> 00:42:18,280
What type of oh we're gonna we're gonna cut back and forth

533
00:42:22,360 --> 00:42:27,480
This is like when you're in middle school and the two autistic kids are about to have a dance battle in pe class

534
00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:30,280
That's the that's the showdown

535
00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:35,720
I've been in some of those battles. You've been a participant in some of hell. Yeah

536
00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:40,200
We got some skits

537
00:42:40,200 --> 00:42:43,880
Have you ever met a guy who only spoke in reddit post?

538
00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:48,680
A man so convinced by conspiracy theories that he's lost touch with reality

539
00:42:49,640 --> 00:42:51,400
Well, here's terry thomas

540
00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:53,400
the conspiracy theory uber

541
00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:56,440
What's going on man? Hey, how you doing?

542
00:42:56,840 --> 00:43:03,640
Doing good doing good. Where are we headed today, man? I gotta go to croakers croakers. Yep. What you picking up the croaker?

543
00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:11,800
I'm probably a couple condoms and maybe some food fish food something I can get behind that but I can't support you supporting croaker

544
00:43:11,960 --> 00:43:16,200
Why not? They're a bunch of child sex traffickers. Everybody knows that

545
00:43:16,600 --> 00:43:20,200
I don't know where did you hear that shit? I saw it on reddit

546
00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:22,020
the most

547
00:43:22,020 --> 00:43:29,880
Valuable accurate news source that this nation has in this in this age of fake news where this shit has become acceptable

548
00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:35,960
Just false journalism yellow journalism. What are they gonna say next of lucentania? I don't fucking know man

549
00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:39,480
I don't fucking know. What kind of condoms are you gonna get from crow? Uh

550
00:43:40,440 --> 00:43:42,280
the magnum

551
00:43:42,280 --> 00:43:43,720
Magnum. Yep

552
00:43:43,720 --> 00:43:47,400
You know magnum condoms are actually unusable

553
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:52,280
They're the worst kind of condom because that's what big pharma wants you to think big pharma

554
00:43:52,280 --> 00:43:59,800
I want you to think that people have these large penises so you feel insecure about your own, but there's never been a

555
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:05,640
Wrecked penis recorded in human history over four and a half inches and that's just the truth

556
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:10,680
What that's why you got to stop drinking out of plastic water bottles

557
00:44:10,760 --> 00:44:16,440
It's enlarging your gooch and shrinking your wiener. I heard about it on joe rogan

558
00:44:16,440 --> 00:44:20,440
There's a lot going on a lot going on and nobody's fucking talking about

559
00:44:20,440 --> 00:44:27,000
You just buy children on wayfair wayfair. How the shit is that? How do you know that? I heard about it

560
00:44:27,560 --> 00:44:34,040
Reddit, you know, three six mafia did 9 11. Did you know that now? Why would they why would they do that?

561
00:44:34,280 --> 00:44:38,600
They're jealous dude. The towers were taken away too much from the memphis party scene

562
00:44:38,680 --> 00:44:44,360
So they decided to fly commercial jetliners into the fucking towers man. I'm telling you so they flew it

563
00:44:44,840 --> 00:44:46,840
They flew it. How are they still alive?

564
00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:50,200
Nothing that doesn't make any they jumped out at the last second

565
00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:55,560
Using invisibility technology was this reddit also

566
00:44:56,280 --> 00:45:01,240
No, this I saw with my own two eyes. Oh, oh you saw I saw maybe that was just people burning

567
00:45:01,400 --> 00:45:03,560
I I feel like that could have been that

568
00:45:04,200 --> 00:45:08,840
Could have been I don't know. Maybe maybe I don't really know. I wasn't born until 2002. I don't know

569
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:10,120
Oh, okay

570
00:45:10,120 --> 00:45:15,880
You know when you know when you have to refuel the gas the gasoline in your car and you have to touch that little handle

571
00:45:15,880 --> 00:45:21,720
Uh, yeah, they know that everybody has to do that. The government knows this

572
00:45:21,720 --> 00:45:25,560
So what big gas does is they put pheromones on the handle?

573
00:45:25,560 --> 00:45:27,800
So when you touch it, you actually turn gay

574
00:45:28,200 --> 00:45:32,360
Yeah turn and you think that driving an electric vehicle would solve that issue

575
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:35,480
But you're just gay inherently if you drive an electric car

576
00:45:35,560 --> 00:45:39,160
So, I mean it's really a double-edged sword. What the fuck am I supposed to do walk?

577
00:45:39,560 --> 00:45:42,440
So i'm secretly a gay man then because i'd be messing with that

578
00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:46,680
Hey, hey, it's better you find out sooner rather than later. I got a few

579
00:45:47,240 --> 00:45:52,680
I got a sister. She runs a conversion therapy camp. I can get you a groupon discount or something

580
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:59,240
Here we are at the kroger man. Go support them child traffickers. You go support mental health brother. Thank you brother

581
00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:03,080
Dream on

582
00:46:04,440 --> 00:46:09,320
What a fucking weirdo man, here's terry thomas the conspiracy theory uber

583
00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:11,320
Uh

584
00:46:11,400 --> 00:46:13,400
Howdy terry yeah terry

585
00:46:14,280 --> 00:46:18,120
How's it going on man? What's going on? Where where are we headed to today?

586
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:26,840
Oh the vbc you watching a performance of some kind. Oh, yeah drag show with the vbc. Oh drag show

587
00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:29,740
You're falling for that liberal propaganda

588
00:46:30,600 --> 00:46:35,480
Uh, I wouldn't call it falling for it. Well, no i'd call it falling for i call falling in love

589
00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:42,680
I'm not a type of smitten with it. Yeah, just don't procreate. You know, I know you I know you guys have a limit on that

590
00:46:42,680 --> 00:46:44,920
Anyways, but just do the world a favor

591
00:46:45,400 --> 00:46:51,080
Did you know in 1994 the united states government sanctioned a lab in santa fe

592
00:46:51,720 --> 00:46:58,440
To create a non-lethal explosive device that when emitted or when exploded ignited it emits

593
00:46:58,820 --> 00:47:01,240
pheromones that make enemy soldiers gay

594
00:47:01,240 --> 00:47:09,000
And that they they created it they never used it for war my theory is that they're putting them in the air systems in public schools

595
00:47:09,000 --> 00:47:11,000
And that's why we got all these gays

596
00:47:11,640 --> 00:47:14,600
I think it's more like a natural evolution. You know what I mean?

597
00:47:15,240 --> 00:47:18,040
Kind of like how dessert evolves from dinner

598
00:47:19,800 --> 00:47:23,320
Or islam evolved from christianity the one true religion

599
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:26,520
You know, I think

600
00:47:26,520 --> 00:47:31,800
That we should have some way of creating a better school system wouldn't you agree with that?

601
00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:36,520
I think we definitely should have a way. I think you know, we might have found common ground

602
00:47:36,520 --> 00:47:39,160
We should have a way to create a better school system

603
00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:43,640
Now how I would do it is I would take students that had similar

604
00:47:44,260 --> 00:47:50,360
Characteristics and put them in one school and then put the other ones in a different school and then send way more

605
00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:52,440
money to the one that we like

606
00:47:52,440 --> 00:47:55,880
You know, I also believe that we should help the environment

607
00:47:56,440 --> 00:48:02,200
We should we should save the environment because all these fossil fuels are burning this hole in those only

608
00:48:02,760 --> 00:48:05,160
Well, i'll be damned. You know what I think you

609
00:48:05,720 --> 00:48:10,360
You might be a lefty yet and what we do we've got to nuke mars

610
00:48:10,920 --> 00:48:14,040
We've got to blow up mars and then take their

611
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:15,560
atmosphere

612
00:48:15,560 --> 00:48:19,640
And then take it as our own and then say that that it was ours the whole time

613
00:48:19,640 --> 00:48:22,520
That's what i've been doing since my whole life

614
00:48:23,880 --> 00:48:30,380
I believe that every citizen in america should be able to own a nuclear weapon. It's just it's constitutional

615
00:48:31,240 --> 00:48:33,240
The right to bear arms

616
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:39,960
I think our forefathers were aware that nuclear weapons were going to be created because they had already helped

617
00:48:40,360 --> 00:48:42,360
Build the pyramids with the aliens

618
00:48:43,080 --> 00:48:45,800
They knew nukes were around they knew they were coming

619
00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:50,520
And they wrote that with that in mind, but that's not what the liberals want you to think

620
00:48:51,400 --> 00:48:52,440
You know

621
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:56,360
I'm beginning to think you know, I didn't like that khanye character at first

622
00:48:56,360 --> 00:49:01,240
But he's really started to grow on me in the last couple years, especially these past six months

623
00:49:01,720 --> 00:49:04,040
I agree with almost everything he stands for

624
00:49:05,240 --> 00:49:08,520
I almost quite literally have to say the opposite

625
00:49:10,280 --> 00:49:14,200
Have you heard of this this app called sheen you buy any clothes from sheen

626
00:49:14,200 --> 00:49:17,240
No, the only app I buy clothes on is team what's sheen?

627
00:49:17,800 --> 00:49:22,440
Sheen is like this app where all the whores buy their bikinis from because they're real cheap

628
00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:27,160
And uh essentially it's a group of child sex traffickers

629
00:49:27,320 --> 00:49:30,440
Because I bought a pair of shorts from there and not any of the gay ones

630
00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:37,560
Just a normal pair of shorts with the long inseam that go past my knees. It's almost like i'm wearing capris that are loose fitting

631
00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:41,880
But uh in the in the tag of the shorts was stitched help me

632
00:49:41,880 --> 00:49:43,880
Help me

633
00:49:44,360 --> 00:49:48,040
Twice twice. Oh my god twice for dramatic effect

634
00:49:48,040 --> 00:49:53,080
He really wanted to make sure he got the message there or she i'm not i'm not as sexy

635
00:49:53,080 --> 00:49:56,920
That's wild and does it say where it was made? I like this seems like it was made

636
00:49:57,880 --> 00:50:00,520
Let's say it at the same time. All right, one

637
00:50:01,240 --> 00:50:02,280
two

638
00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:03,320
three

639
00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:04,760
Bangladesh

640
00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:08,280
Bangladesh all that is is a puppet government set up by the chinese

641
00:50:08,280 --> 00:50:14,360
It's the same fucking place. It's like china taiwan taiwan korea. They all share the same history

642
00:50:14,840 --> 00:50:21,560
There's nothing culturally or ethnically different about those regions. Here's terry thomas the conspiracy theory uber

643
00:50:23,000 --> 00:50:25,500
This week's featured comedian

644
00:50:25,500 --> 00:50:28,400
This week's featured comedian

645
00:50:31,900 --> 00:50:34,140
Um, how are you guys i had a certain previous

646
00:50:35,820 --> 00:50:40,540
The doctor said because of the muscle groups we worked on you should probably wait at least a month to have sex

647
00:50:40,620 --> 00:50:42,620
I was like that's fucking nothing to me, dude

648
00:50:42,620 --> 00:50:50,060
I put it in the deepest waters of the dryest spells. Why do you think I can't fucking do it idiots?

649
00:50:51,420 --> 00:50:53,420
I can fucking do it, dude

650
00:50:53,980 --> 00:50:56,140
Trust me

651
00:50:56,140 --> 00:51:00,540
I don't know man. My surgery was weird because they were like we can schedule everything here

652
00:51:00,620 --> 00:51:02,620
But you'll have to have the surgery in room 12

653
00:51:03,420 --> 00:51:05,420
It's like why dude is my hernia racist?

654
00:51:05,420 --> 00:51:10,940
Is it like that? Yeah

655
00:51:13,820 --> 00:51:15,820
Like shit fuck no, dude, seriously

656
00:51:18,780 --> 00:51:22,780
I don't know dude, uh, they shaved half my pills. They didn't tell me they were gonna do that

657
00:51:23,500 --> 00:51:25,500
You know

658
00:51:25,580 --> 00:51:29,580
I'm just saying man. My dick looks like it was in the civil war. You know what i'm talking about?

659
00:51:29,580 --> 00:51:34,940
I'm just saying dude. It's like mutton chops on the cock. You ever seen mutton chops on the cock dude?

660
00:51:36,700 --> 00:51:38,700
I don't know man

661
00:51:39,180 --> 00:51:44,700
It's gonna put a damper on my dating life dude. I was having a hard enough time before my nutsack had a fade

662
00:51:47,260 --> 00:51:51,500
I'm telling you dude because i'm autistic and shit, but i'm still trying to fuck you know what i'm saying?

663
00:51:51,500 --> 00:51:58,380
Like i'm just waiting for my big break man love on the spectrum. You don't talk about all the things

664
00:52:00,860 --> 00:52:04,620
I just can't wait to see that beautiful girl home or none of us can make eye contact dude

665
00:52:06,140 --> 00:52:09,740
It's gonna be great dude. Our love is just as special as yours

666
00:52:12,140 --> 00:52:15,100
I can't tell who you are if you're a woman or not, but you know

667
00:52:15,100 --> 00:52:19,820
Yeah, okay, thank you guys for coming out

668
00:52:23,740 --> 00:52:28,940
I always gotta position myself to where I can see you guys and then if Brandon says something I can look over there

669
00:52:28,940 --> 00:52:32,700
Yeah, one of these days. I might just snap my neck and just die on the podcast

670
00:52:33,260 --> 00:52:35,260
Like that little episode you had earlier

671
00:52:37,340 --> 00:52:40,460
That was crazy, yeah, I was scared shitless. I seen something on the hat

672
00:52:40,460 --> 00:52:46,300
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Jake I thought Dom almost had a stroke earlier

673
00:52:46,380 --> 00:52:51,500
He just went cross-eyed and looked like he was going burnt toast. He said you good there Mohammed. What's going on?

674
00:52:52,940 --> 00:52:55,180
Is the spirit pulling you in two different directions?

675
00:52:57,660 --> 00:53:01,740
Since we're having Jake on you know, I usually cook for the guests before we had matzah ball soup

676
00:53:03,020 --> 00:53:05,020
Delicious. Hell yeah

677
00:53:05,020 --> 00:53:07,420
My diet actually matches Dom. So it's all right

678
00:53:07,420 --> 00:53:09,180
Okay

679
00:53:09,180 --> 00:53:11,180
We both uh have to you know

680
00:53:12,300 --> 00:53:14,060
Cut it to the east

681
00:53:14,060 --> 00:53:15,100
Dude

682
00:53:15,100 --> 00:53:18,860
If you I did turn your head and snap Brandon would have played like a sound effect. Yeah

683
00:53:24,380 --> 00:53:26,060
911

684
00:53:26,060 --> 00:53:30,620
The niggas dead. Hell yeah, dude. All right. So we got a special guest here today. No, it didn't. Hell yeah, man

685
00:53:30,700 --> 00:53:34,940
We got dude the fastest up and comer in the game dude shooting to the top

686
00:53:34,940 --> 00:53:41,500
It's like watching one of his sets is like watching a master class of just pure comedic genius, dude

687
00:53:41,980 --> 00:53:44,460
But if the dude doing it was severely drunk

688
00:53:46,620 --> 00:53:51,020
It's it's the greatest thing i've ever witnessed dude we got jake muncie man

689
00:53:54,460 --> 00:53:56,860
I'm getting retarded. How are you?

690
00:53:57,820 --> 00:54:04,140
Already, man. How you feeling man? I'm good, dude. It's uh, it's good to be on. Hello. Brandon. How are you man?

691
00:54:04,140 --> 00:54:10,380
I'm doing good. Hell. Yeah, man. That's good. There are a lot of people in here, huh? Yeah almost too many but fuck no, dude

692
00:54:12,060 --> 00:54:17,420
Jake I got a question for you man. Yes, I know like this is a question i've been wondering for a while. Where's my camera?

693
00:54:20,460 --> 00:54:25,180
Put on some dramatic he's not supposed to be aware there are cameras. Yeah. Yeah, that's my cameras here

694
00:54:25,660 --> 00:54:29,820
He can't look anybody in the eyes. So they have to have to go somewhere. My mom says the same things

695
00:54:29,820 --> 00:54:33,520
I don't know why he's doing this. Yeah, he's doing it for different reasons

696
00:54:38,940 --> 00:54:43,660
Zing we're doing it comedy. How are you guys? What is your question? JJ god damn?

697
00:54:43,740 --> 00:54:47,340
Band-aid on your hand, man. Always has the eggs in my dude the eggs

698
00:54:47,340 --> 00:54:49,820
No, but it's clear because when you go into jake's bathroom

699
00:54:50,220 --> 00:54:56,460
It's just blunt ashes and band-aid wrappers in the trash can next to the toilet 100. Hell yeah dude

700
00:54:56,460 --> 00:54:58,640
That epic shower curtain he's got

701
00:54:59,540 --> 00:55:03,080
Yeah, that's beautiful. That's a work of art. Yeah, it's it's eczema

702
00:55:03,080 --> 00:55:09,460
So like I'm worried like if I'm just like up there and there's just like just disgusting like inflamed skin like all over my hand

703
00:55:09,460 --> 00:55:11,260
They'll the whole time they'll just be like what the fuck is that?

704
00:55:11,260 --> 00:55:15,140
It'd be like if I was wearing like a rainbow afro and I just never said anything about it

705
00:55:15,220 --> 00:55:17,720
You know what I mean the whole time they just be like

706
00:55:18,500 --> 00:55:25,260
You know at the rainbow afro. Yeah, so that or Michael Jackson gloves usually does the trick dude slick material

707
00:55:25,260 --> 00:55:27,260
Oh, that's what the fucking home alone thing

708
00:55:28,660 --> 00:55:30,840
Okay, so make sure I'm starting to click now

709
00:55:33,020 --> 00:55:37,520
You were you're hiding your hair no, I said in fifth grade I died my hair like rainbow shit

710
00:55:37,520 --> 00:55:43,320
I should have fucking known that one. Yeah, that's on me. You really died your hair and rainbow because it was a hair died day

711
00:55:43,320 --> 00:55:47,720
So they I said I just look like a clown. Uh-huh. They're pull up looking like hey

712
00:55:47,720 --> 00:55:53,960
I'm a full circle and all comes it comes around. Yeah, he was the origin story nine. Yeah, I

713
00:55:54,280 --> 00:55:56,280
skittle on heroin

714
00:56:00,200 --> 00:56:02,980
Brandon's the funniest dude alive man. This was telling you

715
00:56:04,580 --> 00:56:10,920
Fuck alright, so Jake you and Brandon banging that out a lot lately. Yeah, man. We've been hanging out dude. He's a bomb

716
00:56:11,880 --> 00:56:14,260
He'll come over man, and we'll fucking play video games

717
00:56:14,260 --> 00:56:17,460
Brandon's like you know Brandon will hang out

718
00:56:18,180 --> 00:56:22,620
He's the only one of you guys that can like really hang and like I mean I can't drink

719
00:56:22,620 --> 00:56:27,260
I can't drink with you a lot of you guys, but like a lot of you guys you can't really can't really put away

720
00:56:27,580 --> 00:56:32,220
Certain other things Brandon can put away certain other things like a motherfucker

721
00:56:33,100 --> 00:56:35,100
Brandon is Wiz Khalifa

722
00:56:35,100 --> 00:56:42,860
Khalifa, I look over sometimes and he just goes yeah. Yep. Yeah

723
00:56:47,020 --> 00:56:52,500
He can put it away dude, oh, yeah, so Jake is one of the rising stars of Huntsville comedy. Thank you

724
00:56:52,500 --> 00:56:56,740
How long ago did you start coming? I did it for like the first time in

725
00:56:57,180 --> 00:57:02,420
Nashville and then I quit and then the pandemic and I was like you kind of suck dude and I

726
00:57:02,420 --> 00:57:07,420
Started up again. I don't know why I must have been drunk, and I've been drunk ever since doing comedy

727
00:57:07,660 --> 00:57:11,660
But my first time starting back up was like a couple months ago right around the time

728
00:57:11,820 --> 00:57:15,100
Brandon was starting up and you guys were starting up and it was a

729
00:57:15,540 --> 00:57:20,860
Shenanigans comedy theater where they have all the laughs the yuck yucks and the walla walla shout out shout out

730
00:57:24,860 --> 00:57:26,860
Very diverse and

731
00:57:26,900 --> 00:57:31,620
They I did a set there, and I was the first time I saw Heath and I was like holy shit, dude

732
00:57:31,620 --> 00:57:35,060
I went up like almost directly after he I

733
00:57:35,660 --> 00:57:40,020
Went up early which I don't usually do but like I was like I just got to do this and get out of here

734
00:57:40,020 --> 00:57:44,780
And he set the room on the fire of course he did on the fire. Yeah, I had

735
00:57:45,660 --> 00:57:50,060
What were the chances that you just be there all that night with a world-class comedian?

736
00:57:50,060 --> 00:57:54,500
It wasn't a normal open mic there was a there was like a hundred dollar prize dude. It was a kumite

737
00:57:54,500 --> 00:58:01,700
It was a comedic kumite in there, and Heath killed everybody. He just walked in and fucking slayed people and

738
00:58:02,420 --> 00:58:05,620
Yeah, I went up there and ate shit, and I was like yeah

739
00:58:05,620 --> 00:58:08,700
Probably probably will quit and then I got the urge to do it again

740
00:58:08,700 --> 00:58:11,580
I was gonna do it again, and then I went to a can of bar and

741
00:58:12,380 --> 00:58:17,980
Did the Australian set and I was back in I remember I remember the first time I seen Jake it was in a

742
00:58:18,620 --> 00:58:22,060
Probably seen you in shenanigans, but I think I did I seen you in shenanigans

743
00:58:22,060 --> 00:58:27,020
And I was like I was telling everybody like dude this new guy looks just like the dude from Tim and Eric

744
00:58:27,020 --> 00:58:31,460
I remember you telling me the member. I was like I was I was Tim yeah Tim

745
00:58:31,460 --> 00:58:33,100
He's and we'll put a picture of him right here

746
00:58:33,100 --> 00:58:35,140
I was like he looks just like it's when we're at can of bar

747
00:58:35,140 --> 00:58:39,780
You know I could see now. I know Jake. He's doing that little thing trying to introduce himself to people

748
00:58:41,180 --> 00:58:47,980
This guy's fucking funny, and I'm telling them there. He didn't like it. He didn't like it when I say he was

749
00:58:47,980 --> 00:58:52,700
I didn't know who he was at first. I didn't know what was going on

750
00:58:59,540 --> 00:59:02,100
It is unfortunate where we shop at the same place

751
00:59:03,340 --> 00:59:05,760
Goddamnit that looks like Jack next to me, dude

752
00:59:09,260 --> 00:59:11,700
That was just me and Jack at the speakeasy

753
00:59:12,260 --> 00:59:16,780
The night we bonded and touched butts a little you remember don't act like you do you son of a bitch?

754
00:59:16,780 --> 00:59:18,980
No, I'm kidding tell you dude. I

755
00:59:20,140 --> 00:59:22,140
Don't know man

756
00:59:23,140 --> 00:59:26,060
Damn, I don't I don't even remember when you popped up man

757
00:59:26,060 --> 00:59:29,000
I just knew you and Charlie sprung up around the same time

758
00:59:29,500 --> 00:59:31,500
Who the fuck are these guys?

759
00:59:32,060 --> 00:59:34,060
best of us dude

760
00:59:35,860 --> 00:59:39,940
So funny oh my god. He's so funny. He's so funny. He'll say jokes

761
00:59:39,940 --> 00:59:41,940
I it'll take me like two or three times

762
00:59:41,940 --> 00:59:46,620
That's why when I watch Charlie I feel like I'm watching because you got it takes you so long to get it jokes

763
00:59:46,620 --> 00:59:51,300
Sometimes you know because he has so many I think that might just be you don't know

764
00:59:51,300 --> 00:59:53,820
I think the rest of us perfectly understand the jokes

765
01:00:02,460 --> 01:00:05,260
Think that's a user error recipient

766
01:00:05,900 --> 01:00:07,900
There's a lot of people like me JJ

767
01:00:08,380 --> 01:00:13,940
Yeah, and they should be in other places, but yeah, dude, and they leave school early no

768
01:00:13,940 --> 01:00:21,300
I think it out of 215 have a more compact vehicle Dom hell. Yeah, dude. It's shorter if you will

769
01:00:21,940 --> 01:00:24,420
Their Olympics is special. They don't play chess

770
01:00:27,140 --> 01:00:31,480
Not wrong. Oh, yeah, dude. There's nothing funnier than the Special Olympics, man

771
01:00:35,340 --> 01:00:37,340
He used to go I

772
01:00:37,340 --> 01:00:43,120
Was helping them do shit, so you couldn't even make the team with a special and I wasn't on that

773
01:00:44,140 --> 01:00:46,140
Brandon is there Michael Jordan

774
01:00:46,500 --> 01:00:51,080
My friend had at work because he had a special dude constantly trying to sexually assault him the whole time

775
01:00:51,080 --> 01:00:55,880
I he was guiding him and do have any touching mission. He's like just let me touch you like no man get the fuck off

776
01:00:56,340 --> 01:01:00,260
This sounds like one of those my friend stories. It's like my friend has trouble talking to girls

777
01:01:00,260 --> 01:01:08,780
I would handle that I mean how he would handle that or she would handle that how they would do it

778
01:01:08,780 --> 01:01:11,540
Dude, they wanted to be into women or whatever

779
01:01:13,060 --> 01:01:19,460
She was a I had somebody look like door to explore a very nice person. Oh, well, then what's the problem dude door explorers?

780
01:01:19,460 --> 01:01:21,460
Huh? No, I'm kidding

781
01:01:21,460 --> 01:01:31,120
I'm just kidding. Did you imagine that's a stance I took for the next 30 minutes. I'm like door is so fine, dude. I'll show you the fucking map

782
01:01:34,020 --> 01:01:39,100
Yes, the live action door of course, of course I'm talking about the live action

783
01:01:39,100 --> 01:01:46,940
Why would he not be fucking insane and shut up dude, what are you trying to say man the fuck dude?

784
01:01:47,900 --> 01:01:49,900
Let me show you guys some watches and shit

785
01:01:57,020 --> 01:01:59,020
Maybe you're not alone

786
01:02:00,540 --> 01:02:02,540
There's levels to this shit

787
01:02:02,540 --> 01:02:04,540
Next level yeah

788
01:02:06,980 --> 01:02:08,980
Oh my god

789
01:02:09,140 --> 01:02:14,220
Yeah, yeah, you're a you're a fucking monster dude. Thank you man. And you're like a laser killers

790
01:02:14,820 --> 01:02:19,340
I'm like a what you like a lover boy to talk about during this section. Yeah

791
01:02:19,340 --> 01:02:25,480
Oh, we don't talk about you guys during the section or look under the table. I planted questions here a month ago right next to your feet

792
01:02:25,480 --> 01:02:31,440
I'm into feet. Yeah, we can talk about that. We can talk about it

793
01:02:31,440 --> 01:02:33,440
It's akin to being a lover boy

794
01:02:33,440 --> 01:02:35,440
I can only imagine what that sound effect was

795
01:02:35,440 --> 01:02:39,440
It was a sound effect and you guys put in an image of a woman clapping with her feet

796
01:02:39,440 --> 01:02:41,440
Put your headphones on

797
01:02:41,440 --> 01:02:43,440
Oh shit

798
01:02:43,440 --> 01:02:45,440
I can't put on headphones man it makes me feel so funky

799
01:02:45,440 --> 01:02:47,440
Okay hold on are you ready? This is what it sounds like

800
01:02:47,440 --> 01:02:49,440
I'm in defeat

801
01:02:49,440 --> 01:02:51,440
I'm in defeat

802
01:02:51,440 --> 01:02:53,440
I'm in defeat

803
01:02:53,440 --> 01:02:55,440
Okay hold on are you ready? This is what it sounds like

804
01:02:55,440 --> 01:02:57,440
Yes

805
01:02:57,440 --> 01:02:59,440
And then you got this one

806
01:02:59,440 --> 01:03:01,440
And then you got that one

807
01:03:01,440 --> 01:03:03,440
Nice

808
01:03:03,440 --> 01:03:05,440
Do we have any rim shots?

809
01:03:05,440 --> 01:03:07,440
We're gonna explore these all in the wrong way but we're gonna love it

810
01:03:07,440 --> 01:03:09,440
Do we have any rim shots?

811
01:03:09,440 --> 01:03:11,440
No that's it

812
01:03:11,440 --> 01:03:13,440
Oh you mean this one?

813
01:03:13,440 --> 01:03:15,440
Yeah

814
01:03:15,440 --> 01:03:17,440
I was hitting some of those

815
01:03:17,440 --> 01:03:19,440
Oh yeah he didn't have headphones

816
01:03:19,440 --> 01:03:21,440
Sorry about that

817
01:03:21,440 --> 01:03:23,440
We need to customize those man

818
01:03:23,440 --> 01:03:25,440
I think you can

819
01:03:25,440 --> 01:03:27,440
We can have just clips of Brandon

820
01:03:27,440 --> 01:03:29,440
No dude

821
01:03:29,440 --> 01:03:31,440
We can have a real Jake the Autistic soundboard dude

822
01:03:31,440 --> 01:03:33,440
Oh fuck yeah man

823
01:03:33,440 --> 01:03:35,440
Oh fuck yeah man

824
01:03:35,440 --> 01:03:37,440
I love you dude

825
01:03:37,440 --> 01:03:39,440
The love is real

826
01:03:39,440 --> 01:03:41,440
And this one

827
01:03:41,440 --> 01:03:43,440
Nice

828
01:03:43,440 --> 01:03:45,440
Nice

829
01:03:45,440 --> 01:03:47,440
What are you doing?

830
01:03:47,440 --> 01:03:49,440
JJ's soundboard is just like slurs

831
01:03:49,440 --> 01:03:51,440
Oh shit

832
01:03:51,440 --> 01:03:53,440
The N word is like a bright red one

833
01:03:53,440 --> 01:03:55,440
That's the new button dude

834
01:03:55,440 --> 01:03:57,440
It changes every 15 seconds for that one

835
01:03:57,440 --> 01:03:59,440
Brandon struggles on his

836
01:03:59,440 --> 01:04:01,440
It's just like guinea wop polo shit

837
01:04:01,440 --> 01:04:05,440
I accidentally hit JJ's and panicked

838
01:04:05,440 --> 01:04:07,440
They be like it's so confusing

839
01:04:07,440 --> 01:04:09,440
Oh man

840
01:04:09,440 --> 01:04:11,440
Oh man

841
01:04:11,440 --> 01:04:13,440
So it's all about feet for you?

842
01:04:13,440 --> 01:04:15,440
No man it's not all about feet

843
01:04:15,440 --> 01:04:17,440
They're not gonna make me cum but they gotta be a part of it

844
01:04:17,440 --> 01:04:19,440
You know what I'm saying

845
01:04:19,440 --> 01:04:21,440
Brandon high five

846
01:04:21,440 --> 01:04:23,440
When they get the foot out for you

847
01:04:23,440 --> 01:04:25,440
Nah man

848
01:04:25,440 --> 01:04:27,440
Made money with his feet

849
01:04:27,440 --> 01:04:29,440
You know Brandon did make money with his feet

850
01:04:29,440 --> 01:04:31,440
He's actually the only one here

851
01:04:31,440 --> 01:04:33,440
He was like hey man you flash your foot for a second

852
01:04:33,440 --> 01:04:35,440
You get two or three dollars

853
01:04:35,440 --> 01:04:37,440
Two or three dollars easily made

854
01:04:37,440 --> 01:04:39,440
For a second

855
01:04:39,440 --> 01:04:41,440
No no that's my bro man with my pals

856
01:04:41,440 --> 01:04:43,440
See this country is struggling

857
01:04:43,440 --> 01:04:45,440
Because not enough people have the attitude that Brandon does

858
01:04:45,440 --> 01:04:47,440
Somebody's gotta do the dirty work

859
01:04:47,440 --> 01:04:49,440
Whether it's showing pictures of your feet on FaceTime

860
01:04:49,440 --> 01:04:51,440
To your bros

861
01:04:51,440 --> 01:04:53,440
Cleaning homeless people's shit

862
01:04:53,440 --> 01:04:55,440
Off the wall at Publix dude

863
01:04:55,440 --> 01:04:57,440
Or carrying the Huntsville comedy scene on your back

864
01:04:57,440 --> 01:04:59,440
He's doing it all

865
01:04:59,440 --> 01:05:01,440
He killed Stenoblade

866
01:05:01,440 --> 01:05:03,440
Yes he did

867
01:05:03,440 --> 01:05:05,440
You killed too

868
01:05:05,440 --> 01:05:07,440
Thank you

869
01:05:07,440 --> 01:05:09,440
We all fucking killed dude

870
01:05:09,440 --> 01:05:11,440
There was only two people maybe

871
01:05:11,440 --> 01:05:13,440
That didn't do well that night

872
01:05:13,440 --> 01:05:15,440
It was a hot crowd dude

873
01:05:15,440 --> 01:05:17,440
A lot of women with open toed shoes

874
01:05:17,440 --> 01:05:19,440
You know what I'm saying

875
01:05:19,440 --> 01:05:21,440
Even though it was 40 degrees

876
01:05:21,440 --> 01:05:23,440
It was cold as shit

877
01:05:23,440 --> 01:05:25,440
They knew what was up I'm kidding

878
01:05:25,440 --> 01:05:27,440
Do you dislike the winter season

879
01:05:27,440 --> 01:05:29,440
Because it kind of neutralizes the feet smell

880
01:05:29,440 --> 01:05:31,440
I love the winter man

881
01:05:31,440 --> 01:05:33,440
He's a Nordic

882
01:05:33,440 --> 01:05:35,440
Yeah dude 100%

883
01:05:35,440 --> 01:05:37,440
Just like Squeak's bro

884
01:05:37,440 --> 01:05:39,440
Those dirty forest dwellers dude

885
01:05:39,440 --> 01:05:41,440
I fucking hate them man

886
01:05:41,440 --> 01:05:43,440
I don't know why everyone has that same

887
01:05:45,440 --> 01:05:47,440
I'm way too hairy to be

888
01:05:47,440 --> 01:05:49,440
Entirely human you know

889
01:05:51,440 --> 01:05:53,440
I don't know what's going on

890
01:05:53,440 --> 01:05:55,440
Are you technically a ginger?

891
01:05:55,440 --> 01:05:57,440
Dude yeah I was red headed my whole life

892
01:05:57,440 --> 01:05:59,440
And then recently people were like

893
01:05:59,440 --> 01:06:01,440
You're red headed?

894
01:06:01,440 --> 01:06:03,440
And I'm like yeah you fucking retard

895
01:06:03,440 --> 01:06:05,440
What the fuck do you think is going on

896
01:06:05,440 --> 01:06:07,440
I certainly took the licks for it

897
01:06:07,440 --> 01:06:09,440
What are you trying to play me?

898
01:06:09,440 --> 01:06:11,440
I'm notoriously fiery tempered if you can believe that

899
01:06:11,440 --> 01:06:13,440
They say I have anger problems dude

900
01:06:13,440 --> 01:06:15,440
That's fucking insane

901
01:06:15,440 --> 01:06:17,440
It's bullshit man

902
01:06:17,440 --> 01:06:19,440
I know dude

903
01:06:19,440 --> 01:06:21,440
He's like do you drive here? And he's like of course I drive here

904
01:06:21,440 --> 01:06:23,440
And I'm like maybe you're fucking stupid

905
01:06:23,440 --> 01:06:25,440
Maybe that's what's going on

906
01:06:25,440 --> 01:06:27,440
Of course I don't have anger problems man

907
01:06:27,440 --> 01:06:29,440
The court made me go to class to solve them

908
01:06:29,440 --> 01:06:31,440
Fucking idiot dude

909
01:06:31,440 --> 01:06:33,440
I reformed cocksucker

910
01:06:33,440 --> 01:06:35,440
You got like a copry

911
01:06:35,440 --> 01:06:37,440
Like Amelia Earhart

912
01:06:37,440 --> 01:06:39,440
Thank you man

913
01:06:39,440 --> 01:06:41,440
Thank you dude

914
01:06:41,440 --> 01:06:43,440
JJ is such a beautiful man

915
01:06:43,440 --> 01:06:45,440
Jake I told them earlier

916
01:06:45,440 --> 01:06:47,440
When I got off stage at Homegrown on Friday

917
01:06:47,440 --> 01:06:49,440
This lady in the crowd right when I got off

918
01:06:49,440 --> 01:06:51,440
I saw her showing a picture of Danny McBride

919
01:06:51,440 --> 01:06:53,440
To one of her friends dude

920
01:06:53,440 --> 01:06:55,440
Definitely talking about me

921
01:06:55,440 --> 01:06:57,440
As Kenny Bowers

922
01:06:57,440 --> 01:06:59,440
She was like you know the guy

923
01:06:59,440 --> 01:07:01,440
Oh my gosh

924
01:07:01,440 --> 01:07:03,440
Wait Brandon go that second picture

925
01:07:03,440 --> 01:07:05,440
That's Jake

926
01:07:05,440 --> 01:07:07,440
With the fucking leather jacket and everything dude

927
01:07:07,440 --> 01:07:09,440
Time table

928
01:07:09,440 --> 01:07:11,440
That's a compliment dude she was a pioneer

929
01:07:11,440 --> 01:07:13,440
I didn't know that's what they meant when they said

930
01:07:13,440 --> 01:07:15,440
Grandma was missing dude

931
01:07:15,440 --> 01:07:17,440
I had no idea

932
01:07:17,440 --> 01:07:19,440
She looks like Andrew Jackson too dude

933
01:07:19,440 --> 01:07:21,440
I look like I got Andrew Jackson

934
01:07:21,440 --> 01:07:23,440
Amelia Earhart

935
01:07:23,440 --> 01:07:25,440
I got Andrew Jackson hair Amelia Earhart face and Amelia Earhart has

936
01:07:25,440 --> 01:07:27,440
Half Andrew Jackson face if I do say so myself

937
01:07:27,440 --> 01:07:29,440
Can we get the two of them

938
01:07:29,440 --> 01:07:31,440
Side by side or is that fucking

939
01:07:31,440 --> 01:07:33,440
Beyond the scope of the class Brandon

940
01:07:33,440 --> 01:07:35,440
It's going to take fifteen minutes

941
01:07:35,440 --> 01:07:37,440
Let me charge it out

942
01:07:37,440 --> 01:07:39,440
Where's that on the fucking sound board

943
01:07:39,440 --> 01:07:41,440
We just saw the screen go completely blank dude

944
01:07:41,440 --> 01:07:43,440
What the fuck

945
01:07:43,440 --> 01:07:45,440
Oh shit I saw it disappear

946
01:07:45,440 --> 01:07:47,440
Is that a panda bear

947
01:07:47,440 --> 01:07:49,440
I just noticed that I thought it was just a random assortment

948
01:07:49,440 --> 01:07:51,440
Of like geometric shapes I didn't know that

949
01:07:51,440 --> 01:07:53,440
That's just the DMT

950
01:07:53,440 --> 01:07:55,440
Alright so here's Andrew Jackson

951
01:07:55,440 --> 01:07:57,440
And in here is

952
01:07:57,440 --> 01:07:59,440
Dude that is fucking me

953
01:07:59,440 --> 01:08:01,440
You said which one

954
01:08:01,440 --> 01:08:03,440
Get the bill picture

955
01:08:03,440 --> 01:08:05,440
I'm really sorry to the native in 20s

956
01:08:05,440 --> 01:08:07,440
It's right there

957
01:08:07,440 --> 01:08:09,440
The bill picture is solid

958
01:08:09,440 --> 01:08:11,440
That really is Jason

959
01:08:11,440 --> 01:08:13,440
You ever seen a 20 dollar bill Brandon

960
01:08:13,440 --> 01:08:15,440
I've had it a couple times

961
01:08:15,440 --> 01:08:17,440
Are you going to get pissed if they

962
01:08:17,440 --> 01:08:19,440
Replace Andrew Jackson with Harriet Tubman on the 20

963
01:08:19,440 --> 01:08:21,440
Fuck yeah dude what does she do for this country

964
01:08:21,440 --> 01:08:23,440
Damn

965
01:08:23,440 --> 01:08:25,440
Oh yeah I forgot who she was sorry

966
01:08:25,440 --> 01:08:27,440
She was the first free runner

967
01:08:27,440 --> 01:08:29,440
I forgot

968
01:08:29,440 --> 01:08:31,440
That's an old Key and Peele skit

969
01:08:31,440 --> 01:08:33,440
Oh yeah I remember that

970
01:08:33,440 --> 01:08:35,440
Dude they were amazing

971
01:08:35,440 --> 01:08:37,440
Andrew Jackson did so much

972
01:08:37,440 --> 01:08:39,440
The Native Americans won in court

973
01:08:39,440 --> 01:08:41,440
If it wasn't for Andrew Jackson

974
01:08:41,440 --> 01:08:43,440
Just saying you know

975
01:08:43,440 --> 01:08:45,440
How fun would Georgia really be

976
01:08:45,440 --> 01:08:47,440
Not as much fun as it is now it's not much fun

977
01:08:47,440 --> 01:08:49,440
Alright that one was a flop

978
01:08:49,440 --> 01:08:51,440
Alright that's my bad

979
01:08:51,440 --> 01:08:53,440
Native Americans they're sore losers

980
01:08:53,440 --> 01:08:55,440
Right no I'm kidding that one's a flop

981
01:08:55,440 --> 01:08:57,440
Alright that was

982
01:08:57,440 --> 01:08:59,440
One of my hardest jokes to ever pass

983
01:08:59,440 --> 01:09:01,440
Bush Midgets

984
01:09:01,440 --> 01:09:03,440
What's that one I'm laughing

985
01:09:03,440 --> 01:09:05,440
I was like the Pygmies

986
01:09:05,440 --> 01:09:07,440
I was writing a paper on Pygmies

987
01:09:07,440 --> 01:09:09,440
I was doing a segment about the slurs of Pygmies

988
01:09:09,440 --> 01:09:11,440
And I was like

989
01:09:11,440 --> 01:09:13,440
What if I made up one who would fucking know but me

990
01:09:13,440 --> 01:09:15,440
And I did

991
01:09:15,440 --> 01:09:17,440
And it went over pretty well

992
01:09:17,440 --> 01:09:19,440
And it was Bush Midget

993
01:09:19,440 --> 01:09:21,440
And I tried to tell it on stage and people were like

994
01:09:21,440 --> 01:09:23,440
Oh no not the Pygmies

995
01:09:23,440 --> 01:09:25,440
You don't fucking know any shut up

996
01:09:25,440 --> 01:09:27,440
But yeah

997
01:09:27,440 --> 01:09:29,440
Didn't work well

998
01:09:29,440 --> 01:09:31,440
You guys ever have any jokes that

999
01:09:31,440 --> 01:09:33,440
Can we still see him next to Amelia Earhart

1000
01:09:33,440 --> 01:09:35,440
Oh no he fucking identified dude

1001
01:09:35,440 --> 01:09:37,440
You ain't gonna be able to do him

1002
01:09:37,440 --> 01:09:39,440
Alright fuck it Brandon

1003
01:09:39,440 --> 01:09:41,440
What about you guys

1004
01:09:41,440 --> 01:09:43,440
You guys didn't have any jokes that like never fucking work

1005
01:09:43,440 --> 01:09:45,440
I got a ton of them

1006
01:09:45,440 --> 01:09:47,440
I got

1007
01:09:47,440 --> 01:09:49,440
Some of my favorite ones

1008
01:09:49,440 --> 01:09:51,440
I got one that I really like

1009
01:09:51,440 --> 01:09:53,440
I told Dom about I only told it

1010
01:09:53,440 --> 01:09:55,440
Once or twice and I said it on

1011
01:09:55,440 --> 01:09:57,440
Stage at Shenanigans one time

1012
01:09:57,440 --> 01:09:59,440
And this lady from the crowd went

1013
01:09:59,440 --> 01:10:01,440
Oh no

1014
01:10:01,440 --> 01:10:03,440
I love this joke

1015
01:10:03,440 --> 01:10:05,440
I went on a field trip in the fourth

1016
01:10:05,440 --> 01:10:07,440
Grade to Cathedral

1017
01:10:07,440 --> 01:10:09,440
Caverns it's a local cave here

1018
01:10:09,440 --> 01:10:11,440
And I was really scared of the dark

1019
01:10:11,440 --> 01:10:13,440
When I was a kid and at the end of the tour

1020
01:10:13,440 --> 01:10:15,440
I didn't know it but they turned off all

1021
01:10:15,440 --> 01:10:17,440
The lights in the cave

1022
01:10:17,440 --> 01:10:19,440
And when they

1023
01:10:19,440 --> 01:10:21,440
Turned off all the lights I punched this girl in the stomach

1024
01:10:21,440 --> 01:10:23,440
Like uppercutted her

1025
01:10:23,440 --> 01:10:25,440
I felt it I connected with something dude

1026
01:10:25,440 --> 01:10:27,440
The lights turned back on

1027
01:10:27,440 --> 01:10:29,440
And the fourth grade

1028
01:10:29,440 --> 01:10:31,440
In Alabama it was her brothers dude

1029
01:10:31,440 --> 01:10:33,440
But the lights turned back on

1030
01:10:33,440 --> 01:10:35,440
And she's like crumpled on the ground

1031
01:10:35,440 --> 01:10:37,440
And everybody's looking around like

1032
01:10:37,440 --> 01:10:39,440
What the fuck like what happened

1033
01:10:39,440 --> 01:10:41,440
And you know situational awareness

1034
01:10:41,440 --> 01:10:43,440
The lights were out we're in Etowah County

1035
01:10:43,440 --> 01:10:45,440
Alabama I blamed it on a black guy dude

1036
01:10:45,440 --> 01:10:47,440
And

1037
01:10:47,440 --> 01:10:49,440
The punchline of the joke is

1038
01:10:49,440 --> 01:10:51,440
I feel bad about it to this day I threw him

1039
01:10:51,440 --> 01:10:53,440
Under the bus but at least it was the front of the bus

1040
01:10:53,440 --> 01:10:55,440
Dude great

1041
01:10:55,440 --> 01:10:57,440
And beautiful it's domestic

1042
01:10:57,440 --> 01:10:59,440
Violence and racism in the same joke

1043
01:10:59,440 --> 01:11:01,440
So a master class

1044
01:11:01,440 --> 01:11:03,440
It's a hard sell

1045
01:11:03,440 --> 01:11:05,440
I love that joke though

1046
01:11:05,440 --> 01:11:07,440
Mine is

1047
01:11:07,440 --> 01:11:09,440
So I was like

1048
01:11:09,440 --> 01:11:11,440
I was in the army for a long time

1049
01:11:11,440 --> 01:11:13,440
You meet a lot of different people right

1050
01:11:13,440 --> 01:11:15,440
And some of the people you meet are fucked up

1051
01:11:15,440 --> 01:11:17,440
Sorry

1052
01:11:17,440 --> 01:11:19,440
Some of the people are fucked up right

1053
01:11:19,440 --> 01:11:21,440
I had one dude who was

1054
01:11:21,440 --> 01:11:23,440
Is in jail for 30 years for being a rapist

1055
01:11:23,440 --> 01:11:25,440
I know another dude who

1056
01:11:25,440 --> 01:11:27,440
Killed his wife and his kids

1057
01:11:27,440 --> 01:11:29,440
Yeah and these are both true

1058
01:11:29,440 --> 01:11:31,440
And I'm like it's so you know you don't

1059
01:11:31,440 --> 01:11:33,440
Really think about it whenever it's happening

1060
01:11:33,440 --> 01:11:35,440
But you know they had subtle clues now looking back at it

1061
01:11:35,440 --> 01:11:37,440
Like the dude who went

1062
01:11:37,440 --> 01:11:39,440
Jail for rape he was really aggressive with women

1063
01:11:39,440 --> 01:11:41,440
Like when he was trying to talk to me to do the elbow

1064
01:11:41,440 --> 01:11:43,440
Grab

1065
01:11:43,440 --> 01:11:45,440
And the dude that

1066
01:11:45,440 --> 01:11:47,440
He was the guy he always told me

1067
01:11:47,440 --> 01:11:49,440
If his wife

1068
01:11:49,440 --> 01:11:51,440
He always told me if

1069
01:11:51,440 --> 01:11:53,440
If his wife ever cheated on him he was going to kill her and the kids

1070
01:11:53,440 --> 01:11:55,440
It's the subtle things

1071
01:11:59,440 --> 01:12:01,440
Well she should have done it

1072
01:12:01,440 --> 01:12:03,440
That's fucking great

1073
01:12:03,440 --> 01:12:05,440
That's fucking great

1074
01:12:05,440 --> 01:12:07,440
That was

1075
01:12:07,440 --> 01:12:09,440
Oh my god that's good

1076
01:12:09,440 --> 01:12:11,440
That's the time I bombed the hardest

1077
01:12:11,440 --> 01:12:13,440
Boxcar when Leann

1078
01:12:13,440 --> 01:12:15,440
Brought her family and they were not

1079
01:12:15,440 --> 01:12:17,440
Oh I remember this

1080
01:12:17,440 --> 01:12:19,440
I told that one there

1081
01:12:19,440 --> 01:12:21,440
One of the older ladies

1082
01:12:21,440 --> 01:12:23,440
Was just like

1083
01:12:23,440 --> 01:12:25,440
Pure disgust

1084
01:12:25,440 --> 01:12:27,440
She was wearing that red shirt

1085
01:12:27,440 --> 01:12:29,440
I remember her man

1086
01:12:29,440 --> 01:12:31,440
Utter disgust

1087
01:12:31,440 --> 01:12:33,440
What a fucking cow dude

1088
01:12:33,440 --> 01:12:35,440
I was going hard

1089
01:12:35,440 --> 01:12:37,440
I think I opened up with a

1090
01:12:37,440 --> 01:12:39,440
Sucking mustard gas out of Jewish people's

1091
01:12:39,440 --> 01:12:41,440
I think that was my

1092
01:12:41,440 --> 01:12:43,440
Opener

1093
01:12:43,440 --> 01:12:45,440
Nice

1094
01:12:45,440 --> 01:12:47,440
You were proposing

1095
01:12:47,440 --> 01:12:49,440
A solution why are they mad?

1096
01:12:49,440 --> 01:12:51,440
You know what I'm saying I'm trying to go back in time

1097
01:12:51,440 --> 01:12:53,440
Dude but you gotta get the flux capacitor

1098
01:12:53,440 --> 01:12:55,440
The flux capacitor

1099
01:12:55,440 --> 01:12:57,440
Dude

1100
01:12:57,440 --> 01:12:59,440
Once we find that we're gonna change it

1101
01:12:59,440 --> 01:13:01,440
When Dom hears a cool like smart term he memorizes

1102
01:13:01,440 --> 01:13:03,440
It for life and pulls it out of his

1103
01:13:03,440 --> 01:13:05,440
Back pocket

1104
01:13:05,440 --> 01:13:07,440
He fits it in the conversation perfectly

1105
01:13:07,440 --> 01:13:09,440
I got what Brad?

1106
01:13:09,440 --> 01:13:11,440
I'm trying to teach you something

1107
01:13:11,440 --> 01:13:13,440
You could be slow and use big words

1108
01:13:13,440 --> 01:13:15,440
Yes we can and that's what I'm gonna start doing

1109
01:13:15,440 --> 01:13:17,440
I'm like yeah man just continue on

1110
01:13:17,440 --> 01:13:19,440
This fucking crazy

1111
01:13:19,440 --> 01:13:21,440
Yeah

1112
01:13:21,440 --> 01:13:23,440
You gotta work on it a little bit

1113
01:13:23,440 --> 01:13:25,440
Supercalifragilisticexialidocious

1114
01:13:25,440 --> 01:13:27,440
That was close

1115
01:13:27,440 --> 01:13:29,440
Give yourself a round of applause

1116
01:13:29,440 --> 01:13:31,440
I can't

1117
01:13:31,440 --> 01:13:33,440
Brandon we love you dude

1118
01:13:33,440 --> 01:13:35,440
I couldn't even say it

1119
01:13:35,440 --> 01:13:37,440
Hell yeah

1120
01:13:37,440 --> 01:13:39,440
If you guys notice we don't have any notes here

1121
01:13:39,440 --> 01:13:41,440
I don't think we

1122
01:13:41,440 --> 01:13:43,440
First of all Jake's

1123
01:13:43,440 --> 01:13:45,440
Did you get an Instagram handle now?

1124
01:13:45,440 --> 01:13:47,440
No I don't have one yet

1125
01:13:47,440 --> 01:13:49,440
We're gonna make Jake an Instagram

1126
01:13:49,440 --> 01:13:51,440
And we're gonna put the name of the account right now

1127
01:13:51,440 --> 01:13:53,440
And we will run it for him

1128
01:13:53,440 --> 01:13:55,440
We will do it

1129
01:13:55,440 --> 01:13:57,440
I have

1130
01:13:57,440 --> 01:13:59,440
I might just convert my

1131
01:13:59,440 --> 01:14:01,440
Kat's Instagram to mine

1132
01:14:01,440 --> 01:14:03,440
Which shouldn't be too hard

1133
01:14:03,440 --> 01:14:05,440
I'll change the picture

1134
01:14:05,440 --> 01:14:07,440
What's the name of

1135
01:14:07,440 --> 01:14:09,440
Mr. Squeak Speaks

1136
01:14:09,440 --> 01:14:11,440
That's gonna be a comedy handle

1137
01:14:11,440 --> 01:14:13,440
Probably not when I say it out loud

1138
01:14:13,440 --> 01:14:15,440
We'll probably go with something

1139
01:14:15,440 --> 01:14:17,440
Cool like you know

1140
01:14:17,440 --> 01:14:19,440
JJ or I don't know

1141
01:14:19,440 --> 01:14:21,440
It's a cool one

1142
01:14:21,440 --> 01:14:23,440
It's an easy one to remember

1143
01:14:23,440 --> 01:14:25,440
Your name is actually dope as fuck

1144
01:14:25,440 --> 01:14:27,440
JJ Payton

1145
01:14:27,440 --> 01:14:29,440
Dom Carr is solid

1146
01:14:29,440 --> 01:14:31,440
Brandon Willis is solid

1147
01:14:31,440 --> 01:14:33,440
People struggle with my name dude

1148
01:14:33,440 --> 01:14:35,440
Charlie Swisher

1149
01:14:35,440 --> 01:14:37,440
What a drastic switch

1150
01:14:37,440 --> 01:14:39,440
I think he misheard Scott's speech

1151
01:14:39,440 --> 01:14:41,440
I think Scott said

1152
01:14:41,440 --> 01:14:43,440
He thought Scott said if you have a stage name

1153
01:14:43,440 --> 01:14:45,440
Don't use it

1154
01:14:45,440 --> 01:14:47,440
I think what he really said

1155
01:14:47,440 --> 01:14:49,440
If you have a stage name mention it on the papers

1156
01:14:49,440 --> 01:14:51,440
But Charlie heard

1157
01:14:51,440 --> 01:14:53,440
Don't use your stage name so he just went back

1158
01:14:53,440 --> 01:14:55,440
To Charlie Fisher

1159
01:14:55,440 --> 01:14:57,440
Went up there and killed with Charlie Fisher

1160
01:14:57,440 --> 01:14:59,440
In the most important place to kill

1161
01:14:59,440 --> 01:15:01,440
Yeah he did

1162
01:15:01,440 --> 01:15:03,440
Shout out Charlie

1163
01:15:03,440 --> 01:15:05,440
You beautiful son of a bitch

1164
01:15:05,440 --> 01:15:07,440
He's so good I stole his joke dude

1165
01:15:07,440 --> 01:15:09,440
Please keep the baby

1166
01:15:09,440 --> 01:15:11,440
I felt so bad

1167
01:15:11,440 --> 01:15:13,440
It was good though

1168
01:15:13,440 --> 01:15:15,440
I like how Charlie came back

1169
01:15:15,440 --> 01:15:17,440
He's like if you're gonna do it do it right

1170
01:15:17,440 --> 01:15:19,440
I texted him about it later I felt really bad

1171
01:15:19,440 --> 01:15:21,440
You know what fuck you Charlie

1172
01:15:21,440 --> 01:15:23,440
People laughed

1173
01:15:23,440 --> 01:15:25,440
I said it

1174
01:15:25,440 --> 01:15:27,440
Charlie has so many good jokes

1175
01:15:27,440 --> 01:15:29,440
He does bad

1176
01:15:29,440 --> 01:15:31,440
The sex shop dude

1177
01:15:31,440 --> 01:15:33,440
When he did

1178
01:15:33,440 --> 01:15:35,440
The troll doll story

1179
01:15:35,440 --> 01:15:37,440
For the first time

1180
01:15:37,440 --> 01:15:39,440
The whole point of the troll doll

1181
01:15:39,440 --> 01:15:41,440
The whole point of the troll doll

1182
01:15:41,440 --> 01:15:43,440
There's a Jonathan Silver joke

1183
01:15:43,440 --> 01:15:45,440
In there somewhere

1184
01:15:45,440 --> 01:15:47,440
Tongue twister

1185
01:15:47,440 --> 01:15:49,440
The whole thing that makes it funny

1186
01:15:49,440 --> 01:15:51,440
The whole thing that makes it funny

1187
01:15:51,440 --> 01:15:53,440
Is the call back

1188
01:15:53,440 --> 01:15:55,440
He did it recently

1189
01:15:55,440 --> 01:15:57,440
He did it without the call back

1190
01:15:57,440 --> 01:15:59,440
There was nothing at the

1191
01:15:59,440 --> 01:16:01,440
There was nothing at the end of the troll doll thing

1192
01:16:01,440 --> 01:16:03,440
He just went full autistic he was like strange

1193
01:16:03,440 --> 01:16:05,440
He was strange to silence

1194
01:16:05,440 --> 01:16:07,440
He was like strange that's what his face said to me

1195
01:16:07,440 --> 01:16:09,440
And then he looked at me and I was like it is strange

1196
01:16:13,440 --> 01:16:15,440
He murdered at the

1197
01:16:15,440 --> 01:16:17,440
Pleasures dude

1198
01:16:17,440 --> 01:16:19,440
Absolutely crazy

1199
01:16:19,440 --> 01:16:21,440
He's been killing for a while now

1200
01:16:21,440 --> 01:16:23,440
Charlie and I at Pleasures

1201
01:16:23,440 --> 01:16:25,440
Set the place on fire

1202
01:16:25,440 --> 01:16:27,440
We set the place on fire

1203
01:16:29,440 --> 01:16:31,440
Jake was there with just three people

1204
01:16:31,440 --> 01:16:33,440
Dude I was there with

1205
01:16:33,440 --> 01:16:35,440
At least eight people

1206
01:16:35,440 --> 01:16:37,440
And

1207
01:16:37,440 --> 01:16:39,440
Because there were six plus the staff

1208
01:16:39,440 --> 01:16:41,440
Who came in when they heard me

1209
01:16:41,440 --> 01:16:43,440
Cushing like thunder and lightning

1210
01:16:43,440 --> 01:16:45,440
Because I you know

1211
01:16:45,440 --> 01:16:47,440
It was almost a fire hazard

1212
01:16:47,440 --> 01:16:49,440
So I feel like they came in here to be like

1213
01:16:49,440 --> 01:16:51,440
Oh my god there's not an emergency is there

1214
01:16:51,440 --> 01:16:53,440
And

1215
01:16:53,440 --> 01:16:55,440
And once they saw that

1216
01:16:55,440 --> 01:16:57,440
No it was just glory they were like

1217
01:16:57,440 --> 01:16:59,440
Oh we have to stay for this because it could be history

1218
01:16:59,440 --> 01:17:01,440
And that's what happened they stayed

1219
01:17:03,440 --> 01:17:05,440
And they stayed and yeah but dude

1220
01:17:05,440 --> 01:17:07,440
Charlie at Pleasures was amazing

1221
01:17:07,440 --> 01:17:09,440
When he looked at the wall and he goes

1222
01:17:09,440 --> 01:17:11,440
He goes masturbate huh? He goes that's not how I put it on the wall

1223
01:17:13,440 --> 01:17:15,440
The place fucking died dude

1224
01:17:15,440 --> 01:17:17,440
Those two random people in the back dude

1225
01:17:17,440 --> 01:17:19,440
Were crying

1226
01:17:19,440 --> 01:17:21,440
Oh yeah Charlie was up there

1227
01:17:21,440 --> 01:17:23,440
Can you imagine what they do alone together

1228
01:17:23,440 --> 01:17:25,440
They were at a sex shop

1229
01:17:25,440 --> 01:17:27,440
Like on a Tuesday night

1230
01:17:27,440 --> 01:17:29,440
On a Tuesday night like

1231
01:17:29,440 --> 01:17:31,440
Watch the whole comedy show

1232
01:17:31,440 --> 01:17:33,440
Oh yes well into dark oh and had nowhere to be

1233
01:17:33,440 --> 01:17:35,440
They had nowhere to be they were like

1234
01:17:35,440 --> 01:17:37,440
We got plenty of time to get this bag of dildos home

1235
01:17:37,440 --> 01:17:39,440
They were like there's nothing we can do about it

1236
01:17:39,440 --> 01:17:41,440
Like there's like we have to be here

1237
01:17:41,440 --> 01:17:43,440
Dude they walked into a back room

1238
01:17:43,440 --> 01:17:45,440
Yeah

1239
01:17:45,440 --> 01:17:47,440
At a sex club at night

1240
01:17:47,440 --> 01:17:49,440
With random people drinking

1241
01:17:49,440 --> 01:17:51,440
They did not know what was going on

1242
01:17:51,440 --> 01:17:53,440
Thank god it was a comedy show

1243
01:17:53,440 --> 01:17:55,440
What do you think they were

1244
01:17:55,440 --> 01:17:57,440
Expecting it to be

1245
01:17:57,440 --> 01:17:59,440
Be like a whole cult closed the door

1246
01:17:59,440 --> 01:18:01,440
And they saw Jonathan

1247
01:18:01,440 --> 01:18:03,440
Come back here

1248
01:18:03,440 --> 01:18:05,440
Dude they were expecting a donkey

1249
01:18:05,440 --> 01:18:07,440
An underage girl and a bullwhip

1250
01:18:07,440 --> 01:18:09,440
That's what they were expecting dude

1251
01:18:09,440 --> 01:18:11,440
That's what they thought was back there

1252
01:18:11,440 --> 01:18:13,440
They thought there was chaos back there

1253
01:18:13,440 --> 01:18:15,440
That was funny

1254
01:18:15,440 --> 01:18:17,440
I think that Jonathan was in Indian style

1255
01:18:17,440 --> 01:18:19,440
In the front of the sex shop

1256
01:18:19,440 --> 01:18:21,440
He's 6'6

1257
01:18:21,440 --> 01:18:23,440
He's 6'6 with the tightest button ups you will ever see

1258
01:18:23,440 --> 01:18:25,440
On a grown man

1259
01:18:25,440 --> 01:18:27,440
Imagine seeing that

1260
01:18:27,440 --> 01:18:29,440
When you walk into a sex shop you see Jonathan

1261
01:18:29,440 --> 01:18:31,440
And then you see me walking around taking notes

1262
01:18:31,440 --> 01:18:33,440
Obviously drunk

1263
01:18:33,440 --> 01:18:35,440
Obviously drunk I took a picture

1264
01:18:35,440 --> 01:18:37,440
With every mannequin

1265
01:18:37,440 --> 01:18:39,440
And then you see me over there does it have butterscotch on it

1266
01:18:39,440 --> 01:18:41,440
What the f

1267
01:18:41,440 --> 01:18:43,440
What

1268
01:18:43,440 --> 01:18:45,440
I can't say that

1269
01:18:45,440 --> 01:18:47,440
What's up with the butterscotch

1270
01:18:47,440 --> 01:18:49,440
Is it on your mind dude

1271
01:18:49,440 --> 01:18:51,440
It's a flavor

1272
01:18:51,440 --> 01:18:53,440
It's a flavor

1273
01:18:53,440 --> 01:18:55,440
It's a flavor that they have there

1274
01:18:55,440 --> 01:18:57,440
A flavor of what

1275
01:18:57,440 --> 01:18:59,440
It's an oil

1276
01:18:59,440 --> 01:19:01,440
He keeps calling it an oil

1277
01:19:01,440 --> 01:19:03,440
They said it was like

1278
01:19:03,440 --> 01:19:05,440
Like some type of massage oil

1279
01:19:05,440 --> 01:19:07,440
Anything is lube

1280
01:19:07,440 --> 01:19:09,440
Don't be getting too hot and heavy in here

1281
01:19:09,440 --> 01:19:11,440
Hold on I know exactly

1282
01:19:11,440 --> 01:19:13,440
What the fuck it is

1283
01:19:13,440 --> 01:19:15,440
The best fiancee

1284
01:19:15,440 --> 01:19:17,440
Talk about a buttery nipple

1285
01:19:17,440 --> 01:19:19,440
No

1286
01:19:19,440 --> 01:19:21,440
You guys

1287
01:19:21,440 --> 01:19:23,440
Missed that, that was genius

1288
01:19:23,440 --> 01:19:25,440
That buttery nipple

1289
01:19:25,440 --> 01:19:27,440
What you gotta realize dude

1290
01:19:27,440 --> 01:19:29,440
All my genius goes

1291
01:19:29,440 --> 01:19:31,440
Unrecognized on this black kid

1292
01:19:31,440 --> 01:19:33,440
Because you're white

1293
01:19:33,440 --> 01:19:35,440
I say joking they just sit there they don't know what I'm talking about

1294
01:19:35,440 --> 01:19:37,440
What do you say

1295
01:19:37,440 --> 01:19:39,440
It wouldn't be the

1296
01:19:39,440 --> 01:19:41,440
First time one went past Dom

1297
01:19:41,440 --> 01:19:43,440
What do we do

1298
01:19:43,440 --> 01:19:45,440
What do we do it

1299
01:19:45,440 --> 01:19:47,440
I just said that's

1300
01:19:47,440 --> 01:19:49,440
Something about a buttery nipple

1301
01:19:49,440 --> 01:19:51,440
Talk about a buttery nipple

1302
01:19:51,440 --> 01:19:53,440
Yeah butterscotch lube

1303
01:19:53,440 --> 01:19:55,440
I get the shit

1304
01:19:55,440 --> 01:19:57,440
I get it

1305
01:19:57,440 --> 01:19:59,440
Hold on I get it

1306
01:19:59,440 --> 01:20:01,440
And on the nipple it makes

1307
01:20:01,440 --> 01:20:03,440
Nevermind

1308
01:20:03,440 --> 01:20:05,440
It makes a lot of sense

1309
01:20:05,440 --> 01:20:07,440
It does

1310
01:20:07,440 --> 01:20:09,440
It's not capable of like imagery

1311
01:20:13,440 --> 01:20:15,440
He bit all one

1312
01:20:15,440 --> 01:20:17,440
You know all that pleasure

1313
01:20:17,440 --> 01:20:19,440
That my autism got the best of me

1314
01:20:19,440 --> 01:20:21,440
And accidentally said I fuck dogs

1315
01:20:21,440 --> 01:20:23,440
No cause I would have remembered it forever

1316
01:20:23,440 --> 01:20:25,440
I remember

1317
01:20:25,440 --> 01:20:27,440
I remember

1318
01:20:27,440 --> 01:20:29,440
Y'all fuck dogs too I mean

1319
01:20:29,440 --> 01:20:31,440
Get your dogs to fuck

1320
01:20:31,440 --> 01:20:33,440
Then I went on talking about fucking invisible people

1321
01:20:33,440 --> 01:20:35,440
It was fucked up man

1322
01:20:35,440 --> 01:20:37,440
Everybody thought he said do y'all fuck dogs

1323
01:20:37,440 --> 01:20:39,440
Oh yeah

1324
01:20:39,440 --> 01:20:41,440
I'm glad I heard it on the camera

1325
01:20:41,440 --> 01:20:43,440
I thought you said dogs cause now I remember it

1326
01:20:43,440 --> 01:20:45,440
I was like I've never heard Brandon say that

1327
01:20:45,440 --> 01:20:47,440
I was like okay now it's getting

1328
01:20:47,440 --> 01:20:49,440
Darker

1329
01:20:49,440 --> 01:20:51,440
Usually these things are dark

1330
01:20:51,440 --> 01:20:53,440
He got sexually assaulted by a dog we learned that

1331
01:20:53,440 --> 01:20:55,440
That was so funny

1332
01:20:55,440 --> 01:20:57,440
Please do tell

1333
01:20:57,440 --> 01:20:59,440
Badger so in second grade

1334
01:20:59,440 --> 01:21:01,440
I was at my friends house I just got over my fear of dogs

1335
01:21:01,440 --> 01:21:03,440
He's like well do you want to meet my dog

1336
01:21:03,440 --> 01:21:05,440
I said yes I do want to meet your dog

1337
01:21:05,440 --> 01:21:07,440
So he put me in his backyard like

1338
01:21:07,440 --> 01:21:09,440
Come on Badger

1339
01:21:09,440 --> 01:21:11,440
And Badger ran over there and saw me

1340
01:21:11,440 --> 01:21:13,440
And he liked what he saw

1341
01:21:13,440 --> 01:21:15,440
And he liked the cats and all the other animals you see

1342
01:21:15,440 --> 01:21:17,440
He ran and charged at my little ass and jumped on me

1343
01:21:17,440 --> 01:21:19,440
And then he started humping me and shit

1344
01:21:19,440 --> 01:21:21,440
And then my friend was trying to beat him with a stick off me

1345
01:21:21,440 --> 01:21:23,440
And get him off me but nobody could get him off me

1346
01:21:23,440 --> 01:21:25,440
For like a minute or two

1347
01:21:25,440 --> 01:21:27,440
The dog got off though did he

1348
01:21:27,440 --> 01:21:29,440
Oh yeah once he got

1349
01:21:29,440 --> 01:21:31,440
Done then he went back in his little igloo

1350
01:21:31,440 --> 01:21:33,440
I got a story like that

1351
01:21:33,440 --> 01:21:35,440
When I was a kid my aunt had a big great day

1352
01:21:35,440 --> 01:21:37,440
And it like overpowered me and humped me dude

1353
01:21:37,440 --> 01:21:39,440
And it just goofed all over my legs and thighs dude

1354
01:21:39,440 --> 01:21:41,440
My supple hips

1355
01:21:41,440 --> 01:21:43,440
And she was like it goofed all over me

1356
01:21:43,440 --> 01:21:45,440
And she was like don't worry he's fixed

1357
01:21:45,440 --> 01:21:47,440
I was like yeah I'm not worried he's gonna beat me fucking pregnant

1358
01:21:47,440 --> 01:21:49,440
You dumb pun

1359
01:21:49,440 --> 01:21:51,440
Your dog came on me this isn't cool

1360
01:21:51,440 --> 01:21:53,440
It's never cool this can't happen

1361
01:21:53,440 --> 01:21:55,440
This is wrong

1362
01:21:55,440 --> 01:21:57,440
She just let it happen

1363
01:21:57,440 --> 01:21:59,440
And now I'm a stand up comedian

1364
01:21:59,440 --> 01:22:01,440
So what do you

1365
01:22:01,440 --> 01:22:03,440
I had a bit also

1366
01:22:03,440 --> 01:22:05,440
That's crazy

1367
01:22:05,440 --> 01:22:07,440
About a sex doll

1368
01:22:07,440 --> 01:22:09,440
Like I was trying to sell it to the audience you know what I'm saying

1369
01:22:09,440 --> 01:22:11,440
I'm like a partially used sex doll dude

1370
01:22:11,440 --> 01:22:13,440
I'm like I pointed to the guy and I'm like you want it

1371
01:22:13,440 --> 01:22:15,440
He'd be like no and I'd be like 20 bucks

1372
01:22:15,440 --> 01:22:17,440
Yeah and he'd be like no

1373
01:22:17,440 --> 01:22:19,440
And I'd be like you're kinda obious aren't you

1374
01:22:19,440 --> 01:22:21,440
Never really landed

1375
01:22:23,440 --> 01:22:25,440
Just like dumb dude

1376
01:22:25,440 --> 01:22:27,440
Crash landed

1377
01:22:27,440 --> 01:22:29,440
Oh god

1378
01:22:29,440 --> 01:22:31,440
My bottle of water

1379
01:22:31,440 --> 01:22:33,440
Yeah dude I went in on it

1380
01:22:33,440 --> 01:22:35,440
You're drinking that proper 12 dude

1381
01:22:35,440 --> 01:22:37,440
It's like Jake's girlfriend dude

1382
01:22:37,440 --> 01:22:39,440
Proper 12

1383
01:22:39,440 --> 01:22:41,440
Uh oh

1384
01:22:41,440 --> 01:22:43,440
Where's that

1385
01:22:43,440 --> 01:22:45,440
Oh shit

1386
01:22:45,440 --> 01:22:47,440
Is the joke that

1387
01:22:47,440 --> 01:22:49,440
My girlfriend is underage

1388
01:22:49,440 --> 01:22:51,440
It's however you want to take it

1389
01:22:51,440 --> 01:22:53,440
She might be a 12 out of 10 but that's where you went with it

1390
01:22:53,440 --> 01:22:55,440
I just didn't know if it was like that or she was Mexican

1391
01:22:55,440 --> 01:22:57,440
I just said

1392
01:22:57,440 --> 01:22:59,440
I was curious if it was that or she was Mexican

1393
01:22:59,440 --> 01:23:01,440
You remember that meme where she was like

1394
01:23:01,440 --> 01:23:03,440
She said she was 12 or some shit

1395
01:23:03,440 --> 01:23:05,440
I don't remember

1396
01:23:05,440 --> 01:23:07,440
Rhode Island 12

1397
01:23:07,440 --> 01:23:09,440
I know what you're talking about

1398
01:23:09,440 --> 01:23:11,440
They bust him for like talking to an underage girl

1399
01:23:11,440 --> 01:23:13,440
That's

1400
01:23:13,440 --> 01:23:15,440
Like a whatever a 9 year old girl

1401
01:23:15,440 --> 01:23:17,440
And he's like she said she was 12

1402
01:23:17,440 --> 01:23:19,440
And he said it and then just

1403
01:23:19,440 --> 01:23:21,440
Scattered off like an anime kid

1404
01:23:21,440 --> 01:23:23,440
She said she was 12 dude

1405
01:23:23,440 --> 01:23:25,440
Is it better

1406
01:23:25,440 --> 01:23:27,440
Is it better

1407
01:23:27,440 --> 01:23:29,440
It's still a kid

1408
01:23:29,440 --> 01:23:31,440
Yeah that is

1409
01:23:31,440 --> 01:23:33,440
I don't think it's better

1410
01:23:33,440 --> 01:23:35,440
It's not like my options

1411
01:23:35,440 --> 01:23:37,440
Oh my gosh

1412
01:23:37,440 --> 01:23:39,440
That dude right there

1413
01:23:39,440 --> 01:23:41,440
Play that

1414
01:23:41,440 --> 01:23:43,440
What the fuck was that down in the corner

1415
01:23:43,440 --> 01:23:45,440
Did y'all see that

1416
01:23:45,440 --> 01:23:47,440
Who are you waiting for

1417
01:23:47,440 --> 01:23:49,440
My friends

1418
01:23:49,440 --> 01:23:51,440
We know you're here to see an 11 year old girl

1419
01:23:51,440 --> 01:23:53,440
She said she was 12

1420
01:23:53,440 --> 01:23:55,440
Joseph we've got the

1421
01:23:55,440 --> 01:23:57,440
Screenshots where it shows that you've been

1422
01:23:57,440 --> 01:23:59,440
Sending pictures of your toes

1423
01:23:59,440 --> 01:24:01,440
Again

1424
01:24:01,440 --> 01:24:03,440
Joseph calm down

1425
01:24:03,440 --> 01:24:05,440
This is already being sent to the police

1426
01:24:05,440 --> 01:24:07,440
Wait hold on

1427
01:24:07,440 --> 01:24:09,440
Is this real

1428
01:24:09,440 --> 01:24:11,440
How did he get your shirt

1429
01:24:11,440 --> 01:24:13,440
Dude

1430
01:24:13,440 --> 01:24:15,440
How did he get your shirt

1431
01:24:15,440 --> 01:24:17,440
Go back

1432
01:24:17,440 --> 01:24:19,440
What the fuck

1433
01:24:19,440 --> 01:24:21,440
Is that Drake in that Sprite commercial

1434
01:24:21,440 --> 01:24:23,440
Hold on let me see I'll click on one D

1435
01:24:23,440 --> 01:24:25,440
So we don't see a video

1436
01:24:25,440 --> 01:24:27,440
She said she was 12

1437
01:24:27,440 --> 01:24:29,440
Oh man dude that's why Shane Gillis

1438
01:24:29,440 --> 01:24:31,440
Is in legitimate science

1439
01:24:31,440 --> 01:24:33,440
Look at the Gillis face on that guy

1440
01:24:33,440 --> 01:24:35,440
Dude

1441
01:24:35,440 --> 01:24:37,440
Hey save that picture Brandon that's literally your shirt

1442
01:24:37,440 --> 01:24:39,440
Dude

1443
01:24:39,440 --> 01:24:41,440
Shit man

1444
01:24:41,440 --> 01:24:43,440
She said she was 12

1445
01:24:43,440 --> 01:24:45,440
She said she was proper 12

1446
01:24:45,440 --> 01:24:47,440
What did she

1447
01:24:47,440 --> 01:24:49,440
I gotta know if this is real though

1448
01:24:49,440 --> 01:24:51,440
Cause lock him up if this is real

1449
01:24:51,440 --> 01:24:53,440
He needs to be locked away

1450
01:24:53,440 --> 01:24:55,440
What if he's 12

1451
01:24:55,440 --> 01:24:57,440
No look at that fucking haircut

1452
01:24:57,440 --> 01:24:59,440
What the fuck have you got on his head

1453
01:24:59,440 --> 01:25:01,440
I'm pretty sure he's got a beeper on his belt

1454
01:25:01,440 --> 01:25:03,440
That's the fucking

1455
01:25:03,440 --> 01:25:05,440
Tallest 12 year old I've ever seen

1456
01:25:05,440 --> 01:25:07,440
Hell yeah man

1457
01:25:07,440 --> 01:25:09,440
Oh my god say that one too

1458
01:25:09,440 --> 01:25:11,440
The anger in me to find out that she was Lyle in nearly 3 years

1459
01:25:11,440 --> 01:25:13,440
Witton's on me she had

1460
01:25:13,440 --> 01:25:15,440
And if a 12 year old girl witnessed that phase dude it's over

1461
01:25:15,440 --> 01:25:17,440
You're scarred for life

1462
01:25:17,440 --> 01:25:19,440
There's no difference between that face and when he comes

1463
01:25:19,440 --> 01:25:21,440
I get it

1464
01:25:21,440 --> 01:25:23,440
I get it

1465
01:25:23,440 --> 01:25:25,440
Lock his ass up

1466
01:25:25,440 --> 01:25:27,440
For life

1467
01:25:27,440 --> 01:25:29,440
Just execute that one

1468
01:25:29,440 --> 01:25:31,440
Execute that street golem dude

1469
01:25:31,440 --> 01:25:33,440
What the fuck

1470
01:25:33,440 --> 01:25:35,440
Oh shit

1471
01:25:35,440 --> 01:25:37,440
Now look at the video on the bottom left

1472
01:25:37,440 --> 01:25:39,440
What the fuck is that dude

1473
01:25:39,440 --> 01:25:41,440
Which one

1474
01:25:41,440 --> 01:25:43,440
Oh you were looking at that too

1475
01:25:43,440 --> 01:25:45,440
Yes man

1476
01:25:45,440 --> 01:25:47,440
Dude that's exactly what I was wondering

1477
01:25:47,440 --> 01:25:49,440
What the fuck

1478
01:25:49,440 --> 01:25:51,440
What is going on dude

1479
01:25:51,440 --> 01:25:53,440
Oh my face

1480
01:25:53,440 --> 01:25:55,440
Let me say this one that's Doris the explorer

1481
01:25:55,440 --> 01:25:57,440
From the tomb

1482
01:25:57,440 --> 01:25:59,440
Jake said she was hot

1483
01:25:59,440 --> 01:26:01,440
Hell yeah dude

1484
01:26:01,440 --> 01:26:03,440
I'd hit that

1485
01:26:03,440 --> 01:26:05,440
With a stick you know

1486
01:26:05,440 --> 01:26:07,440
I see

1487
01:26:07,440 --> 01:26:09,440
Geico commercials from 2006 with this

1488
01:26:09,440 --> 01:26:11,440
What

1489
01:26:11,440 --> 01:26:13,440
I don't even know what's happening right now

1490
01:26:13,440 --> 01:26:15,440
Are you talking about the caveman

1491
01:26:15,440 --> 01:26:17,440
How do you see Geico commercials from 2006 period

1492
01:26:17,440 --> 01:26:19,440
The picture that you guys are seeing right now is what we've been seeing this whole time

1493
01:26:19,440 --> 01:26:21,440
You've said

1494
01:26:21,440 --> 01:26:23,440
And you said Doris the explorer

1495
01:26:23,440 --> 01:26:25,440
And a Geico commercial

1496
01:26:25,440 --> 01:26:27,440
Yes

1497
01:26:27,440 --> 01:26:29,440
With this picture

1498
01:26:29,440 --> 01:26:31,440
Yes at first Doris the explorer from the lagoon

1499
01:26:31,440 --> 01:26:33,440
From the lagoon

1500
01:26:33,440 --> 01:26:35,440
And after that you got

1501
01:26:35,440 --> 01:26:37,440
What are we talking about

1502
01:26:37,440 --> 01:26:39,440
What is this person right there with the mug shot

1503
01:26:39,440 --> 01:26:41,440
How do we know that's a mug shot

1504
01:26:41,440 --> 01:26:43,440
Yeah

1505
01:26:43,440 --> 01:26:45,440
It's a fuck

1506
01:26:45,440 --> 01:26:47,440
It might not be a mug shot

1507
01:26:47,440 --> 01:26:49,440
I don't see any tallies behind her

1508
01:26:49,440 --> 01:26:51,440
I'll be honest I thought it was a mug shot too

1509
01:26:51,440 --> 01:26:53,440
There's nothing to indicate her height in that photo I will say

1510
01:26:53,440 --> 01:26:55,440
So it could not be a mug shot

1511
01:26:55,440 --> 01:26:57,440
Hey hold on

1512
01:26:57,440 --> 01:26:59,440
That could be a holding photo though for jail

1513
01:26:59,440 --> 01:27:01,440
I discovered an Instagram page

1514
01:27:01,440 --> 01:27:03,440
It's the best thing ever

1515
01:27:03,440 --> 01:27:05,440
It's called Mug Shotty's

1516
01:27:05,440 --> 01:27:07,440
It's one of the finest bitches mug shots

1517
01:27:07,440 --> 01:27:09,440
Follow it on Twitter

1518
01:27:09,440 --> 01:27:11,440
That's an amazing thing

1519
01:27:11,440 --> 01:27:15,440
You can find some girls that will do race play porn on Mug Shotty

1520
01:27:15,440 --> 01:27:23,440
They possess controlled substances, drug paraphernalia, aggravated battery, driving under the influence

1521
01:27:23,440 --> 01:27:25,440
They got everything

1522
01:27:25,440 --> 01:27:27,440
Conspiracy to murder is my favorite

1523
01:27:27,440 --> 01:27:29,440
You can't fuck with them the ones that kill people

1524
01:27:29,440 --> 01:27:31,440
Or be accessory to it

1525
01:27:31,440 --> 01:27:33,440
It's a one night stand dude

1526
01:27:33,440 --> 01:27:35,440
It's really going to be a one night stand

1527
01:27:35,440 --> 01:27:37,440
One night stand with lice

1528
01:27:37,440 --> 01:27:39,440
One night stand with lice

1529
01:27:39,440 --> 01:27:41,440
Exactly

1530
01:27:41,440 --> 01:27:43,440
It'll be the last one bucko

1531
01:27:43,440 --> 01:27:45,440
One night stand off

1532
01:27:45,440 --> 01:27:47,440
Because they're going to be in it to rob you

1533
01:27:47,440 --> 01:27:49,440
To rob?

1534
01:27:49,440 --> 01:27:51,440
I'm poor dude

1535
01:27:51,440 --> 01:27:53,440
I got robbed one time outside of a gas station

1536
01:27:53,440 --> 01:27:55,440
And this dude flashed a hand out of his gun at me

1537
01:27:55,440 --> 01:27:57,440
With his jacket and shit

1538
01:27:57,440 --> 01:27:59,440
And I got robbed for $11

1539
01:27:59,440 --> 01:28:01,440
And that was the more embarrassing part

1540
01:28:01,440 --> 01:28:03,440
I only had $11

1541
01:28:03,440 --> 01:28:05,440
You just gave it to me and ran off?

1542
01:28:05,440 --> 01:28:07,440
No, I mean I just gave it to him

1543
01:28:07,440 --> 01:28:09,440
And I filled up the gas in my car that I already paid for

1544
01:28:09,440 --> 01:28:11,440
Hold on

1545
01:28:11,440 --> 01:28:13,440
So what did he have?

1546
01:28:13,440 --> 01:28:15,440
What did he have when he was robbing you?

1547
01:28:15,440 --> 01:28:17,440
A gun

1548
01:28:17,440 --> 01:28:19,440
He showed me the handle had a zip up jacket

1549
01:28:19,440 --> 01:28:21,440
And showed me through his jacket

1550
01:28:21,440 --> 01:28:23,440
It might have been a drill now that I think about it

1551
01:28:23,440 --> 01:28:25,440
I mean honestly

1552
01:28:25,440 --> 01:28:27,440
I'm more scared

1553
01:28:27,440 --> 01:28:29,440
Jesus was a carpenter dude

1554
01:28:29,440 --> 01:28:31,440
But he didn't make weapons

1555
01:28:31,440 --> 01:28:33,440
I'm almost more scared of a guy that tries to rob me

1556
01:28:33,440 --> 01:28:35,440
With a drill than a gun, you know what I mean?

1557
01:28:35,440 --> 01:28:37,440
That dude's insane

1558
01:28:37,440 --> 01:28:39,440
I'd rather get shot than get drilled

1559
01:28:39,440 --> 01:28:41,440
He'll probably take his time on you too

1560
01:28:41,440 --> 01:28:43,440
He takes his time when he drills you

1561
01:28:43,440 --> 01:28:45,440
Outside of the gas station

1562
01:28:45,440 --> 01:28:47,440
If he completely incapacitates you

1563
01:28:47,440 --> 01:28:49,440
Does he cut off both your arms first and then come at you with the drill?

1564
01:28:49,440 --> 01:28:51,440
Fuck

1565
01:28:51,440 --> 01:28:53,440
No, he's going to go straight to the temple with the drill bit

1566
01:28:53,440 --> 01:28:55,440
He's going to lobotomize you at a chevron

1567
01:28:55,440 --> 01:28:57,440
He goes straight to the temple

1568
01:28:57,440 --> 01:28:59,440
And you're fine

1569
01:28:59,440 --> 01:29:01,440
How would you do it?

1570
01:29:01,440 --> 01:29:03,440
I would run away immediately

1571
01:29:03,440 --> 01:29:05,440
Then he would come at me with the drill bit

1572
01:29:05,440 --> 01:29:07,440
All loud and shit

1573
01:29:07,440 --> 01:29:09,440
If you were the guy with the drill bit

1574
01:29:09,440 --> 01:29:11,440
And you were going to kill somebody, how would you do it?

1575
01:29:11,440 --> 01:29:13,440
Would you go straight for the temple?

1576
01:29:13,440 --> 01:29:15,440
I would probably put down the drill

1577
01:29:15,440 --> 01:29:17,440
I feel like you would get in the way

1578
01:29:17,440 --> 01:29:19,440
I would probably put down the drill

1579
01:29:19,440 --> 01:29:21,440
And find some other

1580
01:29:21,440 --> 01:29:23,440
Use another way to do it

1581
01:29:23,440 --> 01:29:25,440
Or just hit you with the drill

1582
01:29:25,440 --> 01:29:27,440
Get in that jug

1583
01:29:27,440 --> 01:29:29,440
You could pistol whip somebody with the drill

1584
01:29:29,440 --> 01:29:31,440
Sure, pistol whip somebody with the drill

1585
01:29:31,440 --> 01:29:33,440
You think you're just going to overpower everybody you come in contact with?

1586
01:29:33,440 --> 01:29:35,440
What's a big ass motherfucker who got this drill?

1587
01:29:35,440 --> 01:29:37,440
Big ass motherfucker with a drill is a different story

1588
01:29:37,440 --> 01:29:39,440
Ushigari, take the drill

1589
01:29:39,440 --> 01:29:41,440
I think I said Ushigari

1590
01:29:41,440 --> 01:29:43,440
Ushigari

1591
01:29:43,440 --> 01:29:45,440
Get the arm

1592
01:29:45,440 --> 01:29:47,440
Break it

1593
01:29:47,440 --> 01:29:49,440
Hopefully the arm with the drill, take the drill

1594
01:29:49,440 --> 01:29:51,440
And run

1595
01:29:51,440 --> 01:29:53,440
And now you have a drill

1596
01:29:53,440 --> 01:29:55,440
I don't know, why don't you just drill him?

1597
01:29:55,440 --> 01:29:57,440
Yeah

1598
01:29:57,440 --> 01:29:59,440
I don't want to kill a guy with a drill

1599
01:29:59,440 --> 01:30:01,440
I want to sleep

1600
01:30:01,440 --> 01:30:03,440
So I would just break his arm

1601
01:30:03,440 --> 01:30:05,440
That's a more honorable way than a gun

1602
01:30:05,440 --> 01:30:07,440
To drill somebody?

1603
01:30:07,440 --> 01:30:09,440
You have to get up in there to get the drill

1604
01:30:09,440 --> 01:30:11,440
You give them a fighting chance

1605
01:30:11,440 --> 01:30:13,440
They can smack the drill

1606
01:30:13,440 --> 01:30:15,440
There's no honor in

1607
01:30:15,440 --> 01:30:17,440
To the death combat

1608
01:30:17,440 --> 01:30:19,440
There's no fair fights, just leave

1609
01:30:19,440 --> 01:30:21,440
You don't want to die by drill like a

1610
01:30:21,440 --> 01:30:23,440
Dahmer victim

1611
01:30:23,440 --> 01:30:25,440
That's fucking retarded

1612
01:30:25,440 --> 01:30:27,440
Just like his victims were for the six seconds they lived

1613
01:30:27,440 --> 01:30:29,440
Before dying

1614
01:30:29,440 --> 01:30:31,440
Damn

1615
01:30:31,440 --> 01:30:33,440
You wouldn't have stayed there and uh

1616
01:30:33,440 --> 01:30:35,440
And murdered him with a drill? No

1617
01:30:35,440 --> 01:30:37,440
I wouldn't have

1618
01:30:37,440 --> 01:30:39,440
I would have run

1619
01:30:39,440 --> 01:30:41,440
I would have Ushigari'd dude, I would have passed the guard

1620
01:30:41,440 --> 01:30:43,440
I would have got side control, I would have isolated the arm

1621
01:30:43,440 --> 01:30:45,440
I would have put him in an arm bar

1622
01:30:45,440 --> 01:30:47,440
And I would have had like Spiderweb

1623
01:30:47,440 --> 01:30:49,440
And I would have fucking broke that motherfucker

1624
01:30:49,440 --> 01:30:51,440
And taken the drill and ran dude

1625
01:30:51,440 --> 01:30:53,440
Snapped that motherfucker

1626
01:30:53,440 --> 01:30:55,440
Maybe choked him out for funsies

1627
01:30:55,440 --> 01:30:57,440
Fucking G

1628
01:30:57,440 --> 01:30:59,440
Hell yeah, 10th planet Jujutsu Decatur dude

1629
01:30:59,440 --> 01:31:01,440
Show up if you want to change your fucking life

1630
01:31:01,440 --> 01:31:03,440
Dude I guarantee you if I walk in there with a drill

1631
01:31:03,440 --> 01:31:05,440
Nobody's taking me out dude

1632
01:31:05,440 --> 01:31:07,440
Dude you will die instantly if you walk in there with a drill

1633
01:31:07,440 --> 01:31:09,440
I'll get in the corner, I'll have the drill right here dude

1634
01:31:09,440 --> 01:31:11,440
I'm protecting all angles, I've only got to worry about

1635
01:31:11,440 --> 01:31:13,440
Like half the usual space dude

1636
01:31:13,440 --> 01:31:15,440
Because there's two walls behind me, it's math dude

1637
01:31:15,440 --> 01:31:17,440
Hell yeah dude

1638
01:31:17,440 --> 01:31:19,440
Honestly if you go to a corner I don't see how you can be defeated

1639
01:31:19,440 --> 01:31:21,440
That's what I'm saying dude

1640
01:31:21,440 --> 01:31:23,440
I stand corrected dude

1641
01:31:23,440 --> 01:31:25,440
That's why Napoleon lost, there's no corner, he's in an open field

1642
01:31:25,440 --> 01:31:27,440
What the fuck you doing?

1643
01:31:27,440 --> 01:31:29,440
Honestly I was pretty confident until he was like

1644
01:31:29,440 --> 01:31:31,440
Does your building have corners? And I was like yeah it has corners

1645
01:31:31,440 --> 01:31:33,440
And he was like alright dude fine, you got us with the drill

1646
01:31:33,440 --> 01:31:35,440
Good job

1647
01:31:35,440 --> 01:31:37,440
I'm the corner coroner dude

1648
01:31:37,440 --> 01:31:39,440
I'm killing people in the corner

1649
01:31:39,440 --> 01:31:41,440
Hell yeah

1650
01:31:41,440 --> 01:31:43,440
I'll put you in time out

1651
01:31:43,440 --> 01:31:47,440
I'll put you in rotation

1652
01:31:47,440 --> 01:31:49,440
That could be your wrestling name

1653
01:31:49,440 --> 01:31:51,440
The corner dude

1654
01:31:51,440 --> 01:31:53,440
And then your special moves are always in the corner

1655
01:31:53,440 --> 01:31:55,440
And then you fight Brandon

1656
01:31:55,440 --> 01:31:57,440
Oh yeah I fight Brandon

1657
01:31:57,440 --> 01:31:59,440
Brandon who's your character?

1658
01:31:59,440 --> 01:32:01,440
My character, shit hold up man

1659
01:32:01,440 --> 01:32:03,440
Let me tell you what this nigga's called

1660
01:32:03,440 --> 01:32:05,440
I have his fucking name, his name would be

1661
01:32:05,440 --> 01:32:07,440
BW the Bomber

1662
01:32:07,440 --> 01:32:09,440
This nigga would be like a boxer, he got all this type of combos

1663
01:32:09,440 --> 01:32:11,440
And shit it's like Rocky, Kreese

1664
01:32:11,440 --> 01:32:13,440
Hell yeah I'm throwing bombs

1665
01:32:13,440 --> 01:32:15,440
This is like motherfucking Tyson

1666
01:32:15,440 --> 01:32:17,440
BW Bomber versus

1667
01:32:17,440 --> 01:32:19,440
And Bass Rooting bro

1668
01:32:19,440 --> 01:32:21,440
Hey dude, they have midget wrestling at the

1669
01:32:21,440 --> 01:32:23,440
Boxcar

1670
01:32:23,440 --> 01:32:25,440
Get in there, ask them

1671
01:32:25,440 --> 01:32:27,440
Throw them $50 and let us use the ring

1672
01:32:27,440 --> 01:32:29,440
For a skit

1673
01:32:29,440 --> 01:32:31,440
Oh I thought you were going to say throw them $50 and let Brandon

1674
01:32:31,440 --> 01:32:33,440
Participate

1675
01:32:33,440 --> 01:32:35,440
Like we shave his shins off

1676
01:32:35,440 --> 01:32:37,440
And we get him in there dude

1677
01:32:37,440 --> 01:32:39,440
I wonder about

1678
01:32:39,440 --> 01:32:41,440
I'm not Brandon the Bush Midget dude

1679
01:32:41,440 --> 01:32:43,440
Nooo

1680
01:32:43,440 --> 01:32:45,440
Oh that's a good one

1681
01:32:45,440 --> 01:32:47,440
Oh my god that's funny dude

1682
01:32:47,440 --> 01:32:49,440
They already had that guy in WWE

1683
01:32:49,440 --> 01:32:51,440
They did? Yeah they had somebody like that

1684
01:32:51,440 --> 01:32:53,440
Oh not Brandon the Bush, oh I thought you were talking about

1685
01:32:53,440 --> 01:32:55,440
Like a Bush man or something

1686
01:32:55,440 --> 01:32:57,440
A Bush man?

1687
01:32:57,440 --> 01:32:59,440
That's what I thought he said, I was like the Bush man

1688
01:32:59,440 --> 01:33:01,440
Dude I got this

1689
01:33:01,440 --> 01:33:03,440
Every time I tell somebody this story

1690
01:33:03,440 --> 01:33:05,440
Nobody laughs, I don't know why I think it's funny

1691
01:33:05,440 --> 01:33:07,440
Just because I'm this fucked up

1692
01:33:07,440 --> 01:33:09,440
So he's talking about Bush man right

1693
01:33:09,440 --> 01:33:11,440
Y'all remember Faces of Death?

1694
01:33:11,440 --> 01:33:13,440
Okay so Faces of Death was this thing you buy on a cassette

1695
01:33:13,440 --> 01:33:15,440
And you watch a whole bunch of fucked up shit

1696
01:33:15,440 --> 01:33:17,440
Most of the time people are dying

1697
01:33:17,440 --> 01:33:19,440
And one of the only ones that I still say this shit to this day

1698
01:33:19,440 --> 01:33:21,440
Is like a Bush man

1699
01:33:21,440 --> 01:33:23,440
And this African army was like

1700
01:33:23,440 --> 01:33:25,440
We're the black bomb soldiers and he was like

1701
01:33:25,440 --> 01:33:27,440
I am not a black bomb soldier but I can tell you what a black bomb soldiers be

1702
01:33:27,440 --> 01:33:29,440
And I say that still to this day

1703
01:33:29,440 --> 01:33:31,440
Like when I greet friends

1704
01:33:31,440 --> 01:33:33,440
I haven't seen them like, they text me

1705
01:33:33,440 --> 01:33:35,440
Like I am not a black bomb soldier

1706
01:33:35,440 --> 01:33:37,440
But then they was like

1707
01:33:37,440 --> 01:33:39,440
Okay okay and the American

1708
01:33:39,440 --> 01:33:41,440
Or British white guys

1709
01:33:41,440 --> 01:33:43,440
Talking to him, he was like you're gonna let him go

1710
01:33:43,440 --> 01:33:45,440
He's like oh yeah he's gonna be safe, he's gonna be safe

1711
01:33:45,440 --> 01:33:47,440
And then the camera just cuts to him getting shot

1712
01:33:47,440 --> 01:33:49,440
And dragged across his chest

1713
01:33:49,440 --> 01:33:51,440
Damn

1714
01:33:51,440 --> 01:33:53,440
It was completely ethical dude

1715
01:33:53,440 --> 01:33:55,440
It's fucked up at the end

1716
01:33:55,440 --> 01:33:57,440
But he was ready to snitch on all the black bomb soldiers

1717
01:33:59,440 --> 01:34:01,440
Whoever the black bomb soldier is

1718
01:34:01,440 --> 01:34:03,440
This thing was about to snitch on all of you

1719
01:34:03,440 --> 01:34:05,440
I am not a black bomb soldier but I can tell you what a black bomb soldiers be

1720
01:34:07,440 --> 01:34:09,440
And then the beat drops dude

1721
01:34:09,440 --> 01:34:11,440
I am not a black bomb soldier but I can tell you what a black bomb soldiers be

1722
01:34:15,440 --> 01:34:17,440
Dude I would have remembered that forever

1723
01:34:17,440 --> 01:34:19,440
Just like I remember

1724
01:34:19,440 --> 01:34:21,440
What you said to Brandon the other night

1725
01:34:21,440 --> 01:34:23,440
We were hanging at my house

1726
01:34:23,440 --> 01:34:25,440
And y'all were about to crash on the floor

1727
01:34:25,440 --> 01:34:27,440
Hell yeah we were fucked up

1728
01:34:27,440 --> 01:34:29,440
And you had a bread of the blanket

1729
01:34:29,440 --> 01:34:31,440
He goes alright you got the floor on Brandon goes

1730
01:34:31,440 --> 01:34:33,440
Just like that real quick dude

1731
01:34:33,440 --> 01:34:35,440
And Brandon before Brady could say anything

1732
01:34:35,440 --> 01:34:37,440
Dom was just like alright you got the floor

1733
01:34:37,440 --> 01:34:39,440
And Brady was like what and Dom goes

1734
01:34:39,440 --> 01:34:41,440
Huh

1735
01:34:43,440 --> 01:34:45,440
Brady go get on the floor

1736
01:34:45,440 --> 01:34:47,440
He was about to say what is that huh

1737
01:34:49,440 --> 01:34:51,440
I slept on the floor I was knocked out

1738
01:34:51,440 --> 01:34:53,440
That shit was so funny dude

1739
01:34:53,440 --> 01:34:55,440
Yeah that was

1740
01:34:55,440 --> 01:34:57,440
We're like some big ass kids like we're having a sleepover

1741
01:34:57,440 --> 01:34:59,440
We're just at the house

1742
01:34:59,440 --> 01:35:01,440
He has no full leaf covers

1743
01:35:01,440 --> 01:35:03,440
This is five in the morning

1744
01:35:03,440 --> 01:35:05,440
You had to pick a section of your body that you wanted to be worn

1745
01:35:05,440 --> 01:35:07,440
You just got to use squeaks as a pillow

1746
01:35:07,440 --> 01:35:09,440
I didn't expect to have you know

1747
01:35:09,440 --> 01:35:11,440
People in the life

1748
01:35:13,440 --> 01:35:15,440
God bless comedy

1749
01:35:17,440 --> 01:35:19,440
You give me biscuits

1750
01:35:19,440 --> 01:35:21,440
What is this biscuits you keep on saying

1751
01:35:21,440 --> 01:35:23,440
When they do that thing

1752
01:35:23,440 --> 01:35:25,440
Oh that's what that's called

1753
01:35:25,440 --> 01:35:27,440
Making biscuits

1754
01:35:27,440 --> 01:35:29,440
I've heard this term

1755
01:35:29,440 --> 01:35:31,440
I want a cat dude

1756
01:35:31,440 --> 01:35:33,440
Hell yeah man

1757
01:35:33,440 --> 01:35:35,440
I want another cat

1758
01:35:35,440 --> 01:35:37,440
We could all go cat shopping together

1759
01:35:37,440 --> 01:35:39,440
And it wouldn't even be gay a little bit dude

1760
01:35:39,440 --> 01:35:41,440
How is it gay dude it's all about pussy dude

1761
01:35:41,440 --> 01:35:43,440
Hell yeah

1762
01:35:47,440 --> 01:35:49,440
We all pay for pussy and go together

1763
01:35:49,440 --> 01:35:51,440
You're such a good person with that man

1764
01:35:51,440 --> 01:35:53,440
We found our first clip

1765
01:35:53,440 --> 01:35:55,440
Young Williams

1766
01:35:55,440 --> 01:35:57,440
What?

1767
01:35:57,440 --> 01:35:59,440
Nevermind

1768
01:35:59,440 --> 01:36:01,440
Rim shot please

1769
01:36:01,440 --> 01:36:03,440
Thank you

1770
01:36:03,440 --> 01:36:05,440
There it is

1771
01:36:05,440 --> 01:36:07,440
Jake it's been a

1772
01:36:07,440 --> 01:36:09,440
It's been a pleasure having you on

1773
01:36:09,440 --> 01:36:11,440
And

1774
01:36:11,440 --> 01:36:13,440
I mean you guys just seen what he's about right

1775
01:36:13,440 --> 01:36:15,440
This is what you get all the time

1776
01:36:15,440 --> 01:36:17,440
If you go out and see him on a show

1777
01:36:17,440 --> 01:36:19,440
And people who are booking shows put this man on him

1778
01:36:19,440 --> 01:36:21,440
JJ

1779
01:36:21,440 --> 01:36:23,440
You said it before

1780
01:36:23,440 --> 01:36:25,440
I was hey fuck everybody

1781
01:36:25,440 --> 01:36:27,440
Fuck Dom fuck everybody dude

1782
01:36:27,440 --> 01:36:31,440
I said that Jake was the funniest comedian in Huntsville way before anybody

1783
01:36:31,440 --> 01:36:33,440
I saw it dude

1784
01:36:33,440 --> 01:36:35,440
I saw the talent that he had

1785
01:36:35,440 --> 01:36:37,440
You don't understand dude I'm Nick Saban

1786
01:36:37,440 --> 01:36:39,440
I'm the fucking Nick Saban of Huntsville comedy

1787
01:36:39,440 --> 01:36:41,440
I know which comedians are going to be good

1788
01:36:41,440 --> 01:36:43,440
Now become friends with them the other ones

1789
01:36:43,440 --> 01:36:45,440
Fuck them dude I don't talk to them

1790
01:36:45,440 --> 01:36:47,440
I'm just kidding dude

1791
01:36:47,440 --> 01:36:49,440
I love you I love everybody

1792
01:36:49,440 --> 01:36:51,440
Yeah he was kidding there's a little rim shot

1793
01:36:51,440 --> 01:36:53,440
All the new people are good

1794
01:36:53,440 --> 01:36:55,440
All the new people are good

1795
01:36:55,440 --> 01:36:57,440
Shout out Jake, Charlie, Min

1796
01:36:57,440 --> 01:36:59,440
Blake

1797
01:36:59,440 --> 01:37:01,440
Min my future wife

1798
01:37:01,440 --> 01:37:03,440
Blake Hayden

1799
01:37:03,440 --> 01:37:05,440
Shout the fuck out dude he's getting so much better

1800
01:37:05,440 --> 01:37:07,440
He was already like when he first

1801
01:37:07,440 --> 01:37:09,440
Got up I'm like damn this guy you know this is

1802
01:37:09,440 --> 01:37:11,440
His first time he did

1803
01:37:11,440 --> 01:37:13,440
I'm so glad he kept coming back

1804
01:37:13,440 --> 01:37:15,440
He kept on coming back

1805
01:37:15,440 --> 01:37:17,440
He's better than he should be for sure

1806
01:37:17,440 --> 01:37:19,440
He just proved it on stand up live

1807
01:37:19,440 --> 01:37:21,440
He put it all together and he delivered

1808
01:37:21,440 --> 01:37:23,440
A good sex

1809
01:37:23,440 --> 01:37:25,440
I'm sorry I said I had sex with your dad

1810
01:37:25,440 --> 01:37:27,440
For a bit

1811
01:37:27,440 --> 01:37:29,440
And I was very drunk that night

1812
01:37:29,440 --> 01:37:31,440
They sell Four Locos and that's irresponsible

1813
01:37:31,440 --> 01:37:33,440
But I've been craving one ever since

1814
01:37:33,440 --> 01:37:35,440
To be honest with you I don't know what that's about

1815
01:37:35,440 --> 01:37:37,440
They make me feel young again

1816
01:37:37,440 --> 01:37:39,440
You think I won't fucking kill you for a Four Loco

1817
01:37:39,440 --> 01:37:41,440
You are out of your goddamn mind

1818
01:37:41,440 --> 01:37:43,440
It's the best flavor Jake what's your favorite Four Loco

1819
01:37:43,440 --> 01:37:45,440
The strawberry lemonade

1820
01:37:45,440 --> 01:37:47,440
Hell yeah that's the right answer

1821
01:37:47,440 --> 01:37:49,440
There's nothing else

1822
01:37:49,440 --> 01:37:51,440
You had fruit punch

1823
01:37:51,440 --> 01:37:53,440
Hell yeah dude

1824
01:37:53,440 --> 01:37:55,440
Which one did you guys have? I had the fruit punch

1825
01:37:55,440 --> 01:37:57,440
I didn't know they had strawberry lemonade

1826
01:37:57,440 --> 01:37:59,440
They have the green and I hate green apple

1827
01:37:59,440 --> 01:38:01,440
They have green red and then strawberry lemonade

1828
01:38:01,440 --> 01:38:03,440
Fuck green apple dude what are you a fucking immigrant

1829
01:38:03,440 --> 01:38:05,440
The flavor of a real

1830
01:38:05,440 --> 01:38:07,440
You sour puss dude

1831
01:38:07,440 --> 01:38:09,440
What the fuck your PH balance is off

1832
01:38:09,440 --> 01:38:11,440
You guys are fucking killers dude

1833
01:38:11,440 --> 01:38:13,440
They aren't going to like that one dude

1834
01:38:13,440 --> 01:38:15,440
You're fucking killers

1835
01:38:15,440 --> 01:38:17,440
This has been fun

1836
01:38:17,440 --> 01:38:19,440
Hell yeah

1837
01:38:19,440 --> 01:38:21,440
And Brandon too man

1838
01:38:21,440 --> 01:38:23,440
Thank you man

1839
01:38:23,440 --> 01:38:25,440
Thank you

1840
01:38:25,440 --> 01:38:27,440
Brandon just had a nice proper kill in Birmingham

1841
01:38:27,440 --> 01:38:29,440
And in Huntsville

1842
01:38:29,440 --> 01:38:31,440
And then my boy Tyler

1843
01:38:31,440 --> 01:38:33,440
He came out and seen us

1844
01:38:33,440 --> 01:38:35,440
He was there last night too right

1845
01:38:35,440 --> 01:38:37,440
He came out and seen us at the Newbie show

1846
01:38:37,440 --> 01:38:39,440
And he's been in love

1847
01:38:39,440 --> 01:38:41,440
He watched all the podcasts back

1848
01:38:41,440 --> 01:38:43,440
And he keeps on talking about it

1849
01:38:43,440 --> 01:38:45,440
He's like we got to get a camera on Brandon during the interview

1850
01:38:45,440 --> 01:38:47,440
Because he just said something like we just want to see his face

1851
01:38:47,440 --> 01:38:49,440
We got it now

1852
01:38:49,440 --> 01:38:51,440
You got the fans out there claiming before you Brandon

1853
01:38:51,440 --> 01:38:53,440
I really do

1854
01:38:53,440 --> 01:38:55,440
Brandon's corner

1855
01:38:55,440 --> 01:38:57,440
We're going to have first three cameras

1856
01:38:57,440 --> 01:38:59,440
Hopefully it works

1857
01:38:59,440 --> 01:39:01,440
We got three cameras dude

1858
01:39:01,440 --> 01:39:03,440
What is this a fucking porno

1859
01:39:03,440 --> 01:39:05,440
Here we go dude

1860
01:39:05,440 --> 01:39:07,440
Let's get on the table

1861
01:39:07,440 --> 01:39:09,440
I would tell you to tell the camera whatever you got

1862
01:39:09,440 --> 01:39:11,440
But you don't got shit

1863
01:39:11,440 --> 01:39:13,440
You want to tell Mr. Squeaks

1864
01:39:13,440 --> 01:39:15,440
You want to follow that

1865
01:39:15,440 --> 01:39:17,440
Mr. Squeaks speaks on Instagram dude

1866
01:39:17,440 --> 01:39:19,440
Oh and he's got a YouTube channel

1867
01:39:19,440 --> 01:39:21,440
It's got a name

1868
01:39:21,440 --> 01:39:23,440
We'll get it

1869
01:39:23,440 --> 01:39:25,440
We'll put it on there

1870
01:39:25,440 --> 01:39:27,440
But he's also got a YouTube channel

1871
01:39:27,440 --> 01:39:29,440
He's constantly just fucking up birds dude

1872
01:39:29,440 --> 01:39:31,440
He's just so good at it

1873
01:39:31,440 --> 01:39:33,440
Born hunter

1874
01:39:33,440 --> 01:39:35,440
That's pretty much it

1875
01:39:35,440 --> 01:39:37,440
I have other social media

1876
01:39:37,440 --> 01:39:39,440
Connected to other things

1877
01:39:39,440 --> 01:39:41,440
That I don't necessarily want connected to comedy

1878
01:39:41,440 --> 01:39:43,440
We'll cut that

1879
01:39:43,440 --> 01:39:45,440
Alright, yes, Brandon

1880
01:39:45,440 --> 01:39:47,440
Rim shot you son of a bitch

1881
01:39:47,440 --> 01:39:49,440
Thank you

1882
01:39:49,440 --> 01:39:51,440
Thanks big dog

1883
01:39:51,440 --> 01:39:53,440
Let's go eat

1884
01:39:53,440 --> 01:40:03,440
Let's go eat