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This week on clown college

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Yeah, I don't I would want to be I would want to see you on who wants to be a millionaire

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That's what it's called. Yeah, but see some of those questions. I'm just I know that's why I want to see you

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I'll be out like the first one, you know

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You would be the only dude to cash out at like $500 you get the first question, right? You're like I'm done

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Contractually, you cannot make me keep going

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If they if they I was like you just count down 20

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This is the clown college podcast

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We're just a couple open micers trying to make our way through the scene

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We're we interview comedians throughout different stages of their comedy career

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No matter if they're open micers headliners or traveling comedians. I'm here, too

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Jamie 2.0. I just talk a lot more damn it Brandon go sit in the corner

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Crack open this nice

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Champagne a beer right here. Yeah, dude. Make sure you don't spill it

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Destroy in the fucking set before we even get started man accidents happen, you know

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I have these cherry 7-up zero sugars just get you rowdy. They do start knocking shit over. It's all about 40

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Great 40 this motherfuckers like oh you didn't know about this great 40. Are you saying am I saying it right?

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Grape, what are you saying red red? Grape is not a color. But who just knows this information?

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I didn't notice good citizens people that perform their civic duties and you guys just aren't woke to like big soda

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Big soda is trying to fuck you up

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What's what's red 40? It's the dye they use to make things red

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So like like a red skittle would have the fucking red 40 die

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This cherry 7-up has red 40 and I think it gives you like ADHD it fucks with your brain or something

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I don't know Brandy had a lot of red

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And then I remember you talking about something early about some receipts or something

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Yeah, the receipt paper now this one might not be true. This might just be my algorithm and I'm spreading misinformation

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You know if I know I'm not dude, I'm a scientist

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This is real receipt paper is supposed to be like really bad for you

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I think something goes like secretes out of it

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It perforates your skin and then you like lose IQ. Yeah, I'm trying to kill us

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Yeah, I kill people and I touch receipts all day long at work. It's on fucked and I've been at a grocery store since I was 14

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So you know that explains a fucking lie

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I'm suing y'all

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Shit so how was you guys? Oh, we haven't talked since a Christmas or New Year. Oh, yeah, cuz we had to record

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We're not gonna do too much of the holiday shit cuz you know, everybody's tired. Yeah, we're over. Yeah

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Hell yeah, my Christmas was pretty awesome though. Did you do when watched Godzilla?

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Played when my nephews RC cars. I'm on the spectrum

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100% but I'm having fun. Welcome to the club

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It's making its way this way

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Brandon effect dude. Yeah. Yeah, what'd you do? Brandon man? I had a great time

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I got a I'm gonna say it I almost got drunk for the first time but Brandon failed at that. How'd you fail?

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well because uh, I

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Was doing at the wrong time. It was it was like some middle-aged white woman with me

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We were all experiencing it for the first time what it was her first time. Yeah, it was all about first now

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We were also giddy about oh my god, go take this middle

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Who's the middle-aged white lady, oh it was a lot of them man, they were all we were

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You a party with my girl, okay. Yeah, it was a New Year's Eve. Okay. Okay. We're all so excited

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We don't really drink. Oh, okay. Okay. I see what you say. No, I said you say

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Yeah, the only thing I got was a fucked up stomach man

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Because apparently you're not supposed to do different things at once like I had a lot

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by liquor and

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Everything any which way, you know, yeah, yeah, like that shit. Okay. Oh

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Did it for himself

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We were talking to Brandon here's some inside baseball for you

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We were talking to Brandon about using the sound effects before the episode

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And I love we're like when somebody says something funny do the Badoons and he doesn't he was waiting

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He was itching his finger just couldn't wait. That's what that's what receipt paper will do to you. Yeah

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These are facts. These are facts hit text receipt dude. Why one more switch?

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I like it

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So for New Year's I went to Austin right to

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Go see go to kill Tony but go to other shows to seem Ron white. Oh, dude

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I'm telling you that hour was the best I've ever seen. I've seen Deja Pelle Joe Rogan

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Oh, he did an hour. He did like hour 15. It was his show

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He has two people open for him who were really good, too

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And then the next night we went to see Heath Heath was at the Red Vans Club Sunset Strip

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Killed it. He killed it Hans Kim. All those guys were there. But my favorite was Ty Rivera

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I don't know if you guys know who he is, but he's fucking hilarious. I put a picture of him up

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I'm talking about this dude will light that stage on fire and then got to talk to him on the street. Oh damn

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Yeah, just met him after ten minutes. Like no, it was it was a different night. We were just you know, walking down 6th Street

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I see most oh man, you're funny came up talked to us like ten minutes. So

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these the

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He does the keyboard for kill Tony in the back

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Talk to him ate tacos with him for about 30 minutes. Hell yeah. Hell yeah kind of tacos. Oh, I had Al Pastor and

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one boy had

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Beef I don't know which one one of them. Yeah, whatever. You know, I'm saying I might look Mexican, but too big

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Yeah, Ty Rivera Ty Rivera do what dude that is I don't know he looks like a juggler

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He's great. No, it's crazy in person too. Yes. He has like piercings all around his lip like little balls

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It's really crazy to like to see a person but I'm telling you just do is fucking so he looks like his podcast should be called

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He's good though he's funny like really good do like like tear the house down good and then

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Heath I got to see him for like a split second after he did his show

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I just happened to be walking to the bathroom. He was right there. I was like, what's up?

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He gave me a hug and shit. I don't know if you remember

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Yeah, I was gonna say I even know if you remember who I was well, uh, he gave me a hug and shit

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But then that's the night literally that night was a night. He went out and got some pussy

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Legendary moment

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Hell yeah, you know what fucking man

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That shit was tight two shows there

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Went to open Mike bombed. Hell, yeah, but it was all comics everybody bombed

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They didn't laugh at anything, but uh, it was just fun to do it, you know, is that 4 p.m. At Sunset?

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That's crazy. Yeah a 4 p.m. Open. Yeah, it was perfect for us

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Cuz it was like that's the only time we had cuz we're going to shows all the whole time

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Right, right and they have one literally nobody was in there but the comics and they had some that's some funny guys in there

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Who I end up seeing later on like the Sunset Ships show that Heath was on what they did which was so smart

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They have a show

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Like so camp at they had two shows back-to-back on the early show cam Patterson

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Headlined it he was doing the same thing on the other show

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But they didn't tell the crowd that they're about to they're like they're like so your next comic and it was just one of the people

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Who worked their open mic er and so they didn't tell the crowd

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So all the crowd stayed and then you got to see these open mic er's go up or people who worked at

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Sunset strip or whatever and they had like a lot of them and they like the audience didn't know at first

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We didn't even know I was like who they got fucking following cam and his guy never heard of them

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Oh, they were only doing five-minute sets and I was like, okay that's that's a good guy

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Okay, that's that's a good setup to get people to stay there just to actually see trick people. Yeah

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Yeah, but you still can buy drinks, you know what I'm saying?

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Oh, yeah, do everything you were gonna do you just got some extra comics

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I thought that was pretty tight and then went to the big kill Tony

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Called a football

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Shane Gillis is signature on there. We got Matt McCusker jet ski Johnson David Jolly

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And then a lot of ones I can't read

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Did Tony sign it though? I mean I have no I don't know what a signature looks like so I don't know

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But I'm guessing he did right almost

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We'll have to get our research guy to research the signature

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We got Shane Gillie up there

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Well, yeah, that shit was fucked man. That was a good new year. That's awesome though, dude

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I also heard you want some some bottle service. Oh, yeah. So like when you when you sign up, right? They had like a

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Spin the wheel for the red rose and yellow rose, which is their strip clubs down there. They sponsor them and

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I spent the wheel the first time I got like a free lunch

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We never picked it up because it was like far away from a hotel

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And then the second time I just spin it and like the bottle service one is like this little sliver

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And then the other ones are like real big like it was like a koozie or a hat or whatever

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I was like bottle service and it came up bottle service. So we got fucked up

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On new year's night at that red rose, which is

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definitely the uh, the cheaper

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The yellow rose the higher end because we went to the yellow rose too. And I mean that was like I was like what's happening

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Right everybody in here. Just the

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Best looking chick i've ever seen in my life. But then uh, the red rose had some um

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They were uh, a lot of asking if we wanted to coke off their asses. Oh, okay

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Oh

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Dude when I heard you talk about the red what was that?

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The bottle contest win, uh, I kid you not I was so hyped. I thought you won like an open mic or something

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Oh, we got bottle service. Hell. Yeah

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That's what they give you though, I didn't I didn't know I don't know what the fuck that is five dollars in a tootsie roll

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What I'd be happy with that. No, I I want you know, I won the uh, the tab at so we went to fat sammy's

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Great, mike, alex z and they were doing auditions for uh, black panther

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Hidden dragon the black panther part and I haven't heard back. Yeah. Yeah, I mean we all we all apply

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We don't know who won it. I got I won the tab though for next week. Oh, hell yeah

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Oh, my first time winning that 10 beers with that. Yeah

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Yeah, stone-brown avista or whatever the fuck what it's good too. It's a good beer

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I don't know how much more they have though. I think they were they were running low

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Could we be tearing that shit up two dollar beers for comics, man?

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Hey shit, I think I had like six the sales for those just skyrocket on wednesday nights, dude

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Oh, yeah wiping them out, dude

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What happened on uh, what's going on man?

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Shit. Well, we had that big ass break where there was like no open mics

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Christmas and all that then it just happened

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It wasn't the right week because there's some somewhere on like second and fourth somewhere on first and third

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Yeah

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But getting back into trying to prepare for the show tomorrow. Hell yeah, this will already be out but you know

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Yeah, yeah, the newbie show the newbie show where we all people under two years

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Yep, go in there and do it does a does a five-minute set and then uh, we rose jonathan silver

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Yeah, one veteran comic. Yeah, one veteran comic. It's gonna be fun. Hell yeah, we're gonna kill it

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Oh, yeah. Yeah, we're gonna smack it. We got we got a new mic

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On tuesdays two new mics. Yeah shag nasties shag nasties at

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That's the later one. Yeah, like nine daniel castillo's daniel castillo's mic

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Which is a good mike's biker bar, you know new setting. I love it

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And then uh, you got jonathan silvers is the uh leads into that at pleasures pleasures right down the street

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On tuesdays you got two mics you can come out to

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Dude, I was talking to people about

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This the the mic at pleasures since it's like a sex store. How weird is it if you see somebody, you know in there

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They have no idea that you're in there and it's like your neighbor or something. Your professor comes in there

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What the fuck dude, that would be my b plus

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I'm telling everybody you bought this like dragon anal beat

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Dude, that would be me. I'd be shopping there on the regular like no joke. I just go in there sometimes

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I'm telling everybody you bought this like dragon anal beat

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I'd be shopping there on the regular like no joke. I just go in there sometimes just for fun

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And i'd be asking for recommendations. I'm like, what would you recommend this time and they'd be like, uh

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I guess you get that all over there. Fuck it. Is it butterscotch? Yes

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Tastes like butter. You wanted butterscotch. Yeah, they said pick a flavor

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They pulled the butterscotch where there's original out of your pocket like i'm some hard candy

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That's weird

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What what the fuck was that brandon? I know that's fucking crazy

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He's having a conversation with himself with himself. Yeah, that's what I do sometimes

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I'm a crazy guy, man. I've been touching them receipts since i was 14. I told y'all that fuck with you

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Hey, what's brandon thinks he got something. He thought he had diabetes because pat who is literally 300 pounds bigger than you

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Was like he has that no shit. He has diabetes

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And brandon's like I probably got it too. Yep. I was back there scared of that

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I was like I was pointing at my girl. Oh shit. Hey, I had that this morning

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Man, you're only 20 dude. You got time. Yeah, I know you don't have to end up like dumb dude. Yeah

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My sugar is good. God damn it. All right

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She said your sugar is good sons of bitches. I just got my blood drawn for the first time in my life on tuesday

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How much of a fucking slap in the face would it be if i'm like pre-diabetic right now?

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Because I I eat candy every day. I love it dude. I can't stop myself. You work out every day, too

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And yeah, but so it just kind of like it neutralizes it like cancels out. So i'm just kind of just weird looking

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It's the weirdest build

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Because I am a dude that has eaten candy every day for the past two years

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But also like worked out almost every day for the past two years. It's the weirdest build ever. Yeah, dude

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You're good. You gotta reward yourself man. That's good

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Yeah, you gotta reward yourself. You telling me

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I got a friend he uh, he's like he's older than me. He's like, uh 39

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He needs nothing but sweets like he doesn't like like regular food

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He's just like I do it for substance, but he eats nothing but sweets and still small

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Damn like good health. There's no way he's healthy though. Yeah. Yeah, they go to the doctor. He's good

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He does he does work a lot like he works around the house he's always moving and shit

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But you put a fucking flan he's puerto rican

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You put a flan whatever it is pie cake thing in front. Oh, he'll eat the whole thing. He doesn't even cut slices

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I'll go in his refrigerator and he just he just eats it out of the

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Like his wife makes it and he just eats the fly out of a skill. Yeah

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Yeah, he'll eat it out the whole cake pan with a fork. Damn. Yeah, nobody else touches the flan

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Yeah, but white folks can't do that dude. We don't have the genes for that

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What is this dish that y'all are talking about? Oh, it's good. I don't know. It's like a

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Well, it's not gonna sound good the way i'm explaining it and i'm probably not explaining it right but it's like a gelatin cake, right?

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with this fucking

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I don't know syrup. I don't know what I don't know exactly what it is, but it is good delicious

204
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It's good as fuck. I'll just explain puerto regan would be so mad if they watched it. I explain that horribly, but it is good

205
00:15:36,620 --> 00:15:40,860
You can get it at like any mexican restaurant. Oh, yeah. Yeah, i'm finna try it there next time

206
00:15:41,260 --> 00:15:45,100
Yeah, they got a bakery on jordan lane. I used to go to all the time when I lived over there

207
00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:47,100
And uh does all that?

208
00:15:47,740 --> 00:15:49,740
Whatever, you'll have to let me know what the call

209
00:15:50,700 --> 00:15:53,340
Shit is right by the dollar general on uh, aldi

210
00:15:55,900 --> 00:16:00,780
Aldi on uh university. Oh, yeah, I got you. Yeah, and then it's next to the dollar general though

211
00:16:01,820 --> 00:16:04,860
All the best bakeries are next to a dollar. Oh hell yeah

212
00:16:05,260 --> 00:16:08,140
Every trademark of the bakery when I first moved here

213
00:16:08,140 --> 00:16:14,380
I was like i've never seen so many dollar generals in my fucking life in the most random locations just everywhere

214
00:16:14,380 --> 00:16:20,140
Oh, hell, there's nothing else. There's gonna be a dollar general somewhere close by a dollar general is just a modern-day lighthouse

215
00:16:20,860 --> 00:16:27,180
Yeah, it's like okay. I'm still somewhat in civilization. I swear I uh, I went to the aquarium on new year's eve

216
00:16:27,740 --> 00:16:33,580
And they fucked me over dude. That's a whole nother story, but uh on the drive there it would be we'd be in like the

217
00:16:34,700 --> 00:16:37,340
Tennessee like the foothills to the appalachians or whatever

218
00:16:37,900 --> 00:16:41,180
And there'd just be a dollar general there with nothing else around

219
00:16:41,180 --> 00:16:46,140
Like just the dollar general like it's it's they have them in the most remote locations

220
00:16:46,860 --> 00:16:50,860
Random ass shit and it's not like they sell anything useful in there

221
00:16:51,340 --> 00:16:54,060
Like they only sell food and like just basic shit

222
00:16:54,140 --> 00:16:58,060
Yeah, you get some tummy like get some tums stop like if your car broke down

223
00:16:58,060 --> 00:17:01,660
You could go to dollar general you could probably find a crackhead in the parking lot who'd fix it

224
00:17:02,780 --> 00:17:08,540
So I retract my statement. Yeah, I said corrected dude. They'll change your whole alternator out for 20 dollars

225
00:17:08,540 --> 00:17:10,540
Yeah, right there on the spot too

226
00:17:11,580 --> 00:17:13,580
For some reason they have the tools

227
00:17:14,620 --> 00:17:17,820
As long as you let them heat the rock up on your hood while they're fixing it

228
00:17:18,220 --> 00:17:21,980
I feel like a crackhead would be a hell of a ma kiosk fucking person man

229
00:17:21,980 --> 00:17:27,740
Because they gonna make sure you buy that shit. Oh, they want me correct, but they don't kick that for being too aggressive

230
00:17:27,740 --> 00:17:31,340
Yeah, I can see it. They're gonna get somebody all you got to do is make eye contact with them and you know

231
00:17:31,340 --> 00:17:38,380
Oh, that's oh, it's over. What you staring at me for? Yeah. Oh shit

232
00:17:39,500 --> 00:17:43,580
Oh shit, what else is going on the world you see this cat in a williams interview

233
00:17:43,900 --> 00:17:49,100
Oh, I heard about it. I haven't seen it with steve harvey. He was like talking about him or something talking about everybody

234
00:17:49,100 --> 00:17:53,820
It's like two hours and 21 minutes. I watched it. I was uh, I watched like, you know most of it

235
00:17:55,020 --> 00:17:59,500
He was lighting everybody up. He started with steve harvey sedgert the entertainer, uh

236
00:17:59,500 --> 00:18:01,020
uh

237
00:18:01,020 --> 00:18:02,540
kevin hart

238
00:18:02,540 --> 00:18:07,260
Fucking like everybody in hollywood said harvey wonstein asked to suck his dick. Yeah

239
00:18:09,580 --> 00:18:12,220
See now now look wait, he also said that

240
00:18:16,940 --> 00:18:19,100
He also said that uh

241
00:18:19,100 --> 00:18:22,460
He was uh offered a college scholarship at seven

242
00:18:23,260 --> 00:18:25,420
and read 3 000 books from

243
00:18:25,420 --> 00:18:29,260
Um, I don't know in like a span of three years. So he's insane

244
00:18:30,460 --> 00:18:33,740
I guess I I don't know because I guess like I was looking at the comments

245
00:18:33,820 --> 00:18:38,620
Some people were like, uh, he did get off his scholarship at 12 and he also said he could run a 4 4 40

246
00:18:39,020 --> 00:18:43,420
Right now at 52 years old. So so we have to take some of these things with a grain of salt

247
00:18:44,380 --> 00:18:47,500
He's still smoking. He's still smoking crack, dude

248
00:18:48,940 --> 00:18:53,100
And that's the thing another thing he said he never did drugs which i'm just like I know

249
00:18:53,100 --> 00:18:57,980
I know when people are on drugs and there was a stretch there where cat williams was yeah

250
00:18:58,460 --> 00:19:00,460
He got beat up by the kid and shit like that

251
00:19:01,980 --> 00:19:05,980
I'm just saying it wasn't all natural. There's no way maybe he just drinks though. I don't know

252
00:19:06,780 --> 00:19:08,780
He never did a drug

253
00:19:09,340 --> 00:19:11,340
He said a lot of things in there

254
00:19:11,500 --> 00:19:15,500
But i'm kind of getting i'm kind of getting that uh, jesse smoulet

255
00:19:15,660 --> 00:19:20,540
Uh, oh shit. I remember I mean this it's just like something like he some things he he's like

256
00:19:20,540 --> 00:19:25,420
He talking about like steve harvey and what funny if you if you was around back in the day kings of comedy

257
00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:29,740
It was just bernie mack. That was what everybody was talking about. He ended it

258
00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:34,060
His set was fucking perfect and all that shit and I think dl. Heegley is funny

259
00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:36,140
I think cedric entertainer is funny, too

260
00:19:36,620 --> 00:19:40,940
Steve harvey stand-up never did it for me, but he had he has a good joke about uh church

261
00:19:41,020 --> 00:19:44,220
He's like I went to church so much whenever I was uh younger

262
00:19:44,220 --> 00:19:50,220
He's like he's like now I rather he's like if I have to go again. I'd rather go to hell

263
00:19:51,260 --> 00:19:55,180
But that's how I felt when I was younger with the church so fucking much i'm like if this is what we gotta do to go

264
00:19:55,180 --> 00:19:56,940
heaven

265
00:19:56,940 --> 00:19:58,940
True, I might burn for eternity

266
00:19:59,660 --> 00:20:05,580
You might be on the steve harvey pipeline, dude, if you do stand up like the steve harvey and wayne brady pipeline

267
00:20:05,660 --> 00:20:08,300
I can see you hosting like a daytime tv game show

268
00:20:08,700 --> 00:20:13,180
Let's make a deal that would make me want to blow my brains out. I would I don't care what the money is

269
00:20:13,180 --> 00:20:16,700
Worst job couldn't do it because I can't control what sometimes I just say things

270
00:20:16,860 --> 00:20:20,780
Yeah, it's not meant to be hurtful or anything like that. But it's what comes to my mind

271
00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:27,980
And like like that dante trigger. I just say it. You know what I mean? What if you could do one on like bet plus

272
00:20:28,940 --> 00:20:32,860
And they let you say whatever you want. Yeah. Yeah, if you let me say whatever I want for sure

273
00:20:33,420 --> 00:20:36,540
Because i'm going to get in trouble. There's no way you I mean right now

274
00:20:37,020 --> 00:20:40,300
I don't only have like this much digital footprint and it's all fucked up

275
00:20:40,300 --> 00:20:47,340
I say something bad in every single there's not a lot but everything that's out there is terrible. It's hateful

276
00:20:48,220 --> 00:20:51,420
If you were like, oh we're gonna cancel him or have a dip. Yeah easily

277
00:20:52,060 --> 00:20:57,900
But you know what I'm saying is what it is. Oh my gosh, man, which which game show would you want to be on?

278
00:20:58,620 --> 00:21:03,100
Like what you would be on like prices right? No, like a contestant. Oh family feud

279
00:21:03,740 --> 00:21:07,660
Really? Yeah, but dude, I feel like I would get so pit my family dumb as hell

280
00:21:07,660 --> 00:21:12,860
No offense to y'all, but like I feel like they would ask a basic ass question and just they would not get it right

281
00:21:13,420 --> 00:21:16,540
They don't know what other people think they lived here their entire life

282
00:21:17,580 --> 00:21:22,460
They're not connected with the culture dude family feud. You gotta be somewhat connected to real

283
00:21:22,620 --> 00:21:27,340
Yeah, all my family they watch y'all family feud all the time like we we went out at our family reunions

284
00:21:27,420 --> 00:21:29,420
We have a we do a family feud

285
00:21:29,980 --> 00:21:33,980
Game like a whole setup with the table and a conference room at a hotel and shit like that

286
00:21:33,980 --> 00:21:39,100
Oh, so we so we were I would probably be the week. Yeah, I do. Well, I'm trying to match in shirts. Yes

287
00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:46,780
I do a joke. I do a joke like that. I do a joke like that. That's the blackest thing. Yeah, I'm like I'm black. I'm uh,

288
00:21:47,660 --> 00:21:52,540
Uh, we're the same color shirts at a family reunion black on a cruise because that's what we're going our next

289
00:21:53,020 --> 00:21:55,020
Our next one is on a cruise

290
00:21:55,820 --> 00:21:58,060
Does your mom wear the shirt too? My mom doesn't go to these

291
00:21:59,420 --> 00:22:01,420
She doesn't get

292
00:22:01,420 --> 00:22:03,420
Oh, yeah

293
00:22:03,420 --> 00:22:05,420
She didn't get invited to the cookout

294
00:22:05,980 --> 00:22:09,340
She'll get invited but my mom's not she's not going she doesn't uh

295
00:22:10,300 --> 00:22:15,660
They don't talk that much. Oh, you know that's out of the family and then uh, my mom

296
00:22:16,540 --> 00:22:19,980
I'm not gonna say we don't get along but they don't do you know, it's just like hey. Hey

297
00:22:22,300 --> 00:22:24,300
You know that shit like that good to see you

298
00:22:25,180 --> 00:22:26,380
But they have like my grandma now

299
00:22:26,380 --> 00:22:29,420
She invites her for christmas and stuff like if we if we do it down there

300
00:22:29,420 --> 00:22:33,020
Yeah, but uh, yeah, like this was my german side of family. I don't know none of them niggas

301
00:22:33,420 --> 00:22:36,220
Like I swear to god they could be they could be walking across right here

302
00:22:37,180 --> 00:22:39,180
Yeah, are they all white?

303
00:22:39,260 --> 00:22:41,260
Hell, yeah

304
00:22:41,900 --> 00:22:45,180
They live in germany, though, I didn't want to assume that yeah

305
00:22:45,900 --> 00:22:50,300
I don't think we I think we the only mixed ones in the family. That's why they disowned my mom at first

306
00:22:50,380 --> 00:22:53,020
You know, oh damn it was like that. Yeah, two little nigga babies

307
00:22:53,020 --> 00:22:59,820
You can't be you can't be missing the badum I know I was thinking about doing about like

308
00:23:00,460 --> 00:23:02,460
I was like that's deep

309
00:23:03,100 --> 00:23:05,100
Almost quick. Yeah

310
00:23:07,820 --> 00:23:09,820
Yeah, I was like contemplating I was like

311
00:23:11,500 --> 00:23:13,500
Oh, yeah, yeah, damn

312
00:23:14,220 --> 00:23:18,540
Yeah, I don't I would want to be I would want to see you on uh, who wants to be a millionaire?

313
00:23:19,020 --> 00:23:22,540
That's what it's called. Right? Yeah, but see some of those questions. I'm just

314
00:23:22,540 --> 00:23:26,860
I know that's why I want to see you. I'll be out in like the first one, you know

315
00:23:26,940 --> 00:23:31,020
I'm like, I got this you would be the only dude to cash out at like 500

316
00:23:31,900 --> 00:23:33,980
You get the first question, right? You're like i'm done

317
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:40,140
Contractually, you cannot make me keep going. If they I was like you just counted out in 20

318
00:23:41,340 --> 00:23:43,340
Reaches film is just

319
00:23:44,940 --> 00:23:47,440
Can I get half of that in a money order do this

320
00:23:47,440 --> 00:23:49,440
Yes

321
00:23:52,000 --> 00:23:52,720
Oh

322
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:56,960
Shit man, I feel like if I was on there you remember the price is right with bob baker

323
00:23:57,120 --> 00:24:02,480
Yeah, you remember that episode where that girl could not figure it the fuck out like she just kept on answering like

324
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:08,000
What was it? She was like they were like what's eight plus eight and she was like 25 and they're like what the fuck is wrong with

325
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:13,680
You know, miss like she just couldn't figure it out. Okay on the price is right. Why would they be doing eight plus eight?

326
00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:18,720
My bad. What did he do? What was that? What was yeah, she was trying to guess the price

327
00:24:18,880 --> 00:24:21,760
I went on a whole different train track right there. That's

328
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:27,040
She was hold on. Let me let me rephrase it. Uh, she couldn't get shit, right?

329
00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:31,440
They were like they were like, hey, I must have spent so probably five fifty bucks what fifty bucks

330
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:37,280
No, miss, okay way less than that shit. She just couldn't get it. This was from a while ago. Yes, 2008

331
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:41,840
So you would do prices, right? No fuck that shit. I was saying I couldn't

332
00:24:41,840 --> 00:24:45,440
You're working at grocery store. Yeah, hell dude every time they ask me

333
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:49,120
I'm trying to find it with my hey, man, how we gonna do this shit? No, no

334
00:24:49,840 --> 00:24:54,240
Dude, they just go on a venture with Brandon. Yeah, that's what it is. The smallest publish

335
00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:59,600
I'm looking at my fucking no, I'm sorry. Like seven miles. Nah, man

336
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:03,360
I'll be on family feud because no matter what you ask, he'll just look at you like you crazy

337
00:25:04,400 --> 00:25:08,640
I can't believe he said that shit being well, that's the worst that can happen. Yeah

338
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:11,520
I think you do a good on family few

339
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:16,240
Maybe we should do a family few like uh, get the game. Oh my gosh

340
00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:20,880
I'm down with all like you get four guys jake

341
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:26,080
Charlie charlie versus like you brennan

342
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:33,360
And dante like steve harvey y'all have matching shirts. Oh my god

343
00:25:33,360 --> 00:25:38,000
I think steve harvey, dude, you guys have to have matching shirts though

344
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:44,560
You all have to have matching shirts for family few but me and we're all in like just like regular this shit

345
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:46,560
We would wear for real

346
00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:48,560
Oh, yeah

347
00:25:48,640 --> 00:25:50,720
Bryce has got a tight ass like camouflage

348
00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:54,000
He's always got that tight ass

349
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:58,560
Hey, he ain't coming out that shirt ain't tight. Well, he's the strongest person in housefield the strongest comic in housefield

350
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:02,240
True, yeah, you feel like you would do good at the fast money part

351
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:05,440
If I went first

352
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:10,640
You think so if I went first I'd do pretty I would do pretty good because some of them there's only like one answer

353
00:26:10,720 --> 00:26:12,720
Yeah, and it's what everybody thinks

354
00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:17,120
So yeah, so like if I went the second person has to be the best at it

355
00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:20,240
Because you got to be able to think on the fly. Yeah, you know

356
00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:23,120
Because you know some of those you you know other shit

357
00:26:23,120 --> 00:26:26,800
But in your mind you can only think of that one answer and you're like, oh if it's not that

358
00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:29,840
Uh, and there's another answer there, but yeah

359
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:32,640
But I would do family. What are you gonna do?

360
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:38,320
Damn, dude, maybe just like let's make a deal because it's the easiest one. It's like pick

361
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:42,560
Curtain one two or three. There's no game. It's just luck

362
00:26:43,440 --> 00:26:48,560
Let's make a deal. I don't let's make a deal. My grandma watches it all the time. It's the one that wayne brady is on

363
00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:56,320
Where they're like where you get zonk but he's black

364
00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:03,120
But like it's like the curtain one two and three, yeah, or you can take what's in this envelope

365
00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:06,160
You know, like it's just simple shit

366
00:27:06,720 --> 00:27:11,220
That is not that's are you smarter than a fifth grader? No, I got an explanation

367
00:27:11,840 --> 00:27:17,040
When when you were talking about which one you would want to do I instantly thought of this man. I was like, dude

368
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,040
I don't know dude

369
00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:21,680
Oh, do you remember uh double dare?

370
00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:24,320
Yeah, yeah

371
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:27,840
That's uh wipe out mark mark summers

372
00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:35,520
Mark summers used to do double dare. I would pay anything to see brandon do american ninja warrior. Oh, hell yeah, dude

373
00:27:35,600 --> 00:27:41,760
Sign me up. You all listen, please make a fucking obstacle course. I will do it. I will do it. Wait. No, there's one in huntsville

374
00:27:41,840 --> 00:27:46,240
It's like the ninja academy or whatever. I've never been there, but I've seen ads for it on facebook

375
00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:51,920
I want to say film that it's obviously gotta do that. Yeah, i'll do it. I will yeah, i'm scared

376
00:27:52,640 --> 00:28:00,240
For if we get like a year fucking do it like 52 episodes. We should go skydiving. Okay. No, no hold up now

377
00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:04,000
Yeah, that's too far

378
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,960
I mean I would do it. I would do it. Uh, I have to lose some weight because

379
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:10,080
I'll say it on camera dude

380
00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:13,600
If we can get to a year if we put out one every week for a year, dude

381
00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:19,280
I'll go skydiving and film it. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I'll give i'll do it with you. Oh, yeah

382
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:24,640
Yeah, y'all go i'll go do the ninja thing brandon. You have to stand on the ground and record

383
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:28,320
I'm gonna make sure y'all make and then if we hit the ground post it on reddit, right?

384
00:28:28,320 --> 00:28:33,520
Please post it i'll be like if I go down doing something I don't want to do when I came down

385
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:45,760
Oh, what do what if you survived that's what I was just taking only a crack head and then we mark it on the map

386
00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:50,320
Boosie in the back if fitting all was there he would have died before he landed

387
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:59,280
If you feel a low magnitude earthquake in about 10 months from now

388
00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:01,280
Yeah

389
00:29:02,080 --> 00:29:04,080
That was your fight is dumb

390
00:29:14,800 --> 00:29:19,120
I just imagine it in like looney tunes terms, you know

391
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:26,400
You go through the earth you're in china alexi is it yo are you talking about

392
00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:31,040
Yo, yo, you remember when on norman refused your crash and the whole thing

393
00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:34,800
Oh

394
00:29:34,800 --> 00:29:40,320
Shit oh my gosh. Yeah, that will be fun. We we need to start thinking you never jumped out of a plane in the army

395
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:47,520
I did a air assault. So I repelled out of a helicopter. That's crazy. Oh my god, you got you got uh, how does that work?

396
00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:50,480
So you make your seat which is uh a rope?

397
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:55,440
You make it. Uh, you just hook it up. So now whenever you're coming out you got a

398
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:57,760
Um, what's this thing called ring? Um

399
00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:02,240
Ring not not ring but you do things you hook in and then

400
00:30:03,360 --> 00:30:08,000
Yeah carabiner. Yeah those things. Yeah, those clip things. So you got that and then you hook up

401
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:10,720
You hook your that's that's hooked up to your seat

402
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:13,680
You hook it up in there and then you got the slack rope, right?

403
00:30:13,680 --> 00:30:17,440
Which everybody's going to use to get off of there and then you just hook it to your seat

404
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:22,000
You hold it with this hand and then your right hand is your what your dominant hand is your break hand

405
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:25,840
So whenever you you come out you let it go you start uh rappelling, right?

406
00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:30,320
When you want to break you bring it to your back and when you bring it to your back it stops you now

407
00:30:31,280 --> 00:30:32,960
It sounds good on paper

408
00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:36,000
But when we do it like you do it on a wall, you know to practice it

409
00:30:36,400 --> 00:30:42,240
You got to go through you'll you do the helicopter last day of the training. All right, and so i'm definitely scared heights

410
00:30:42,640 --> 00:30:47,760
Like I didn't want I I was already in the army for I was already at four camel for like five years until I did

411
00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:51,360
It and everybody at four camel if you're not on a profile you have to go do air assault

412
00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:55,280
I escaped for five years got a new first star. He was like what the fuck you ain't been to aerosols

413
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:57,760
Like get the fuck over there

414
00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:00,800
They think you are go do aerosols. I was like i'm gonna fail this shit

415
00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:04,400
But then I because I always feel the obstacle course because you got to climb

416
00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:09,680
You got to climb this ladder that it gets more space in between

417
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:14,000
So the first five when you're like, oh i'm just doing it and then after that you have to like stand on one

418
00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:18,160
Hold like hold the side of the bar and like climb up for the last two

419
00:31:18,160 --> 00:31:22,240
I'm like, and so whenever I would get to that point when we're just training i'm like i'm not doing that

420
00:31:22,480 --> 00:31:23,440
You know what I mean?

421
00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:25,760
And then uh, and then I was gonna do that again

422
00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:30,000
I was like i'm just gonna fail this part and then I failed the uh, I failed the course I get kicked out

423
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:35,920
And then uh, one of the one of the aerosol sergeants was like you little bitch. See now we had to go there

424
00:31:36,080 --> 00:31:39,280
Damn, dude, that's all and that's all it takes and that's not a good thing

425
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:41,920
But that's all it takes. I was like, well, i'll fucking risk my life

426
00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:46,880
And then when I got over I was so happy like I got over the last one and I was coming back down

427
00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:50,080
I got so happy a little cocky that uh, I was like

428
00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:53,760
I was just coming down and I missed a thing and I had to catch myself like this

429
00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:56,320
on the fucking um

430
00:31:56,400 --> 00:32:00,400
On the on the wooden plank. How high up were you like 30 feet like far?

431
00:32:00,640 --> 00:32:04,640
Hell, you got but they they have like the big cushion things that you would fall on

432
00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:07,680
But if you fall off the side, you ain't got that shit. You know what i'm saying?

433
00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:10,320
I was holding on to the side. That's how I would get up. I would stand up

434
00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:14,800
I'll hold on to the to the uh, the the big uh wooden thing on the side and then come over

435
00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:19,440
So then once I did all that and we get there on the last day and then we uh

436
00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:24,240
We all we had to do after we repelled the helicopter is 12 mile ruck march in three hours

437
00:32:24,320 --> 00:32:26,560
That's that's the final thing you have to do. So

438
00:32:27,120 --> 00:32:32,800
We're uh up on the helicopter and they're like hey you gotta do not break do not put your uh,

439
00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:37,040
Your brake hand in the small of your back until at least three seconds

440
00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:41,200
Three seconds is a long fucking time to be like free falling

441
00:32:41,200 --> 00:32:45,440
You just fall so I instantly like I got out there. I got my ale you got to get in the ale

442
00:32:45,600 --> 00:32:49,840
Let's say your feet out and you're leaning like this and then you go like that and that's how you jump back

443
00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:50,880
All right

444
00:32:50,880 --> 00:32:54,400
You're supposed to go three to five seconds because they have a skid on the bottom of the helicopter

445
00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:57,760
And so my dumb ass was like as soon as I felt me I was like what?

446
00:32:59,120 --> 00:33:01,680
And I stopped it. I hit my fucking hand on the skid broke my hand

447
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:06,480
So then after that, I was my adrenaline was pumping so bad. I was just like give me the fuck down here

448
00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:08,480
So I was just like, uh, you know, I got down

449
00:33:08,480 --> 00:33:12,960
And then uh, and I had I couldn't tell him I broke my hand because then they would kick me out

450
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:15,520
I had to do the 12 mile ruck march. I don't need my hand for a ruck march

451
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:19,760
You know what i'm saying? So I did that but the next person who went was a captain dude

452
00:33:20,160 --> 00:33:25,360
And this motherfucker could his uh key ring on the wrong thing. So he wasn't um,

453
00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:29,120
I can't explain it all the way but he put his key ring on the wrong thing

454
00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:33,680
So he couldn't repel so as soon as he went out he hit the side and they had to pull him back up

455
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:37,760
And we're all watching as like if if I went if I went after him, I wasn't doing this

456
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:40,640
Oh, yeah, like they like they had it like because they're hooked in you know

457
00:33:40,960 --> 00:33:45,840
They're all the way on the helicopter pulling this motherfucker back up. I'm like hell did it fuck him up

458
00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:47,040
No, he was good

459
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:51,920
But it was just he was hanging out there and he couldn't do nothing like he couldn't repel because he had hooked this key ring

460
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:53,920
on the um on the wrong part

461
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:58,560
So, uh, i'm like and the aerosols are had to get in trouble for that because they're supposed to check that shit

462
00:33:58,640 --> 00:34:00,640
We don't know what the fuck we're doing all the way, you know

463
00:34:01,760 --> 00:34:03,200
But yeah, that shit was uh

464
00:34:03,200 --> 00:34:08,240
That was one of the things I did that I was like I never thought I would do because i'm fucking so scared of height

465
00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:15,920
Yeah, that's crazy. He's gonna applause for you, man. We need to just take a second. Damn aerosol baby fuck airborne

466
00:34:16,720 --> 00:34:19,040
It's aerosol right here one-on-one gang bitches

467
00:34:21,360 --> 00:34:23,680
The fellow person scared of heights man, I salute to you

468
00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:27,520
That should not burn your hand though when you break you wear big gloves

469
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:31,280
You you got to wear you got to wear inserts and then your they have to be leather gloves

470
00:34:31,760 --> 00:34:33,120
and then um

471
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:35,760
But hell yeah, if you don't have no gloves that shit will fuck you up

472
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:37,200
uh

473
00:34:37,200 --> 00:34:43,200
Yeah, but the hardest part of all of it is getting the ale because you have to extend your legs all the way out

474
00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:47,520
Right, but keep your front this side of your body in a l, you know what i'm saying?

475
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:51,680
And it's it's scary to do that. Like it sounds like okay, you're just standing there

476
00:34:51,680 --> 00:34:56,800
But when you have nothing below you, you know what i'm saying? It's like oh fuck like i'm really about to

477
00:34:57,520 --> 00:34:59,520
Go out of this bitch freefall

478
00:34:59,520 --> 00:35:03,760
That's the feel of it, but you I still feel like you have more control than jumping out of fucking airplane

479
00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:10,560
Yeah, you just have the will of your parachute at that point like if I fuck up then I would die in uh in air assault

480
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:15,520
But you know also they had people down there to help you out like a spotter or whatever

481
00:35:15,760 --> 00:35:18,560
So they could manually stop you if you were going too far

482
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:20,400
but uh

483
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:22,160
but yeah on um

484
00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:24,880
Fucking airborne is if your parachute works, you know what i'm saying?

485
00:35:24,960 --> 00:35:27,440
And then you land right because a lot of people parachute work

486
00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:32,400
They don't land like my brother's airborne and he had a whole bunch of people who broke their like femurs and shit

487
00:35:32,400 --> 00:35:34,160
By not landing right?

488
00:35:34,160 --> 00:35:39,120
Damn, bro. I know that shit hurts femur. I mean that's gotta be the worst bone to break. I think it is

489
00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:46,480
That's fucking crazy. That is like how much how much time do they get you to learn this shit before you jump out of the plane?

490
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:51,760
Airborne is a little longer. I don't know. I don't think it's a month, but it may be a little less than a month

491
00:35:52,320 --> 00:35:54,320
Air assaults on like 10 days

492
00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:58,320
10 days to do that. Hell no. Couldn't do it. It's just fucking crazy

493
00:35:58,720 --> 00:36:03,840
No, it's but it's like 10 days of immersive training like you're you're going you got to run everywhere in every step

494
00:36:03,840 --> 00:36:07,360
You say you gotta be air assault air assault every every left step is air assault

495
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:10,960
Yeah, so so they break you down to be like you're gonna listen to every fucking thing

496
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:15,840
We say even if you're a high rank and like we had a lieutenant colonel get kicked out by a e5 sergeant

497
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:20,000
It's not that high right? He was like yeah, I got here late. He's like get the fuck out of here

498
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:24,400
Yeah, and then and then he's like the lieutenant colonel was like, what are you talking about?

499
00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:26,400
He's like you've been late the last two days

500
00:36:26,720 --> 00:36:31,600
You don't have your shit get the fuck out kick them out and they got he's back by the general, you know

501
00:36:31,680 --> 00:36:34,400
over the whole post at Campbell and

502
00:36:35,120 --> 00:36:36,560
Yeah, so don't matter what your rank is

503
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:38,960
You're gonna listen to the air assault sergeants because they already did it

504
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:40,480
They done did this shit a million times

505
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:41,040
You know what I mean?

506
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:43,760
You know what they're doing and then you when you fucking with people's lives

507
00:36:43,760 --> 00:36:47,440
You ain't got time to yeah, who gives a fuck if you're a lieutenant colonel, you know how to do this shit

508
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:49,280
You know what I mean?

509
00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:51,280
But yeah, that's the fun part. So don't

510
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:55,760
Hate to see the not fun parts going to the

511
00:36:57,040 --> 00:36:59,760
Welcome to Brandon's corner. It's story time

512
00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:06,480
Greetings and salutations everybody today. I'm going to tell you all the story

513
00:37:07,040 --> 00:37:11,920
So I need you to buckle up sit down get comfortable do whatever you got to do to listen to this shit

514
00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:15,760
So I had a friend recently. Uh, he told me some shit that uh,

515
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:18,080
he recently

516
00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:25,200
Is dealing with and it's tough. It's tough. I never expected this to happen to somebody what what happened was he opened the door

517
00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:28,320
And he sees a man smoking crack like this

518
00:37:30,720 --> 00:37:35,360
And his friend is a fucking crackhead his boyfriend is a crackhead he goes up to him he's like hey man

519
00:37:35,440 --> 00:37:40,560
Why are you doing all this crack man? Hey, he's supposed to tell me everything. I thought I could trust you. He's done me like

520
00:37:41,600 --> 00:37:43,680
Hold the fuck up

521
00:37:43,680 --> 00:37:45,520
I'm a crackhead, bro

522
00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:48,720
I'm sorry if you don't like it, but I do crack and

523
00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:50,960
You're gonna have to learn to live with the shit

524
00:37:50,960 --> 00:37:52,560
If you don't learn to live with it

525
00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:56,080
Then you could get the fuck up off the boat because that's what life is like a boat

526
00:37:56,400 --> 00:38:01,360
And i'm stirring the shit and you can stay on or you can get the fuck off and that's what happened because

527
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:06,000
Who the fuck want to stay over crankhead man? All your shit's gonna be fucking destroyed

528
00:38:06,240 --> 00:38:11,600
You're gonna sell your tb for 25 cents and shit. So he was like fucking i'll leave but it was respect

529
00:38:12,140 --> 00:38:14,140
mutual mutual respect

530
00:38:14,140 --> 00:38:16,140
Because think about it man

531
00:38:16,620 --> 00:38:18,620
That's how we should all think

532
00:38:18,860 --> 00:38:23,740
Be you if somebody tells you not to do something be like fuck it. That's who I am

533
00:38:24,220 --> 00:38:27,660
If you're racist be racist if you're doing shit, just fuck it

534
00:38:28,380 --> 00:38:32,460
This is america. Don't catch me slipping up. There you go, bro. Be you

535
00:38:33,100 --> 00:38:34,780
Be like the crackhead

536
00:38:34,780 --> 00:38:36,780
Goodbye

537
00:38:38,540 --> 00:38:42,140
Can you say there's somebody like jacking off on people's faces or something?

538
00:38:42,140 --> 00:38:44,140
What you had like a serial

539
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:48,860
Masturbator. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So when I was so when you when I was going to campbell

540
00:38:48,860 --> 00:38:52,540
I was leaving korea coming to camp you go to reception if you're single and you don't have a family

541
00:38:52,940 --> 00:38:54,940
You stay at this like barracks place

542
00:38:55,260 --> 00:38:57,900
And it's like uh, you get usually four to six

543
00:38:58,620 --> 00:38:59,660
two

544
00:38:59,660 --> 00:39:01,980
Four to six people stay in a room. They got bunk beds in there, right?

545
00:39:02,460 --> 00:39:07,180
And uh when you when you come in you get a briefing every every duty station you go to you get a briefing about the

546
00:39:07,180 --> 00:39:11,980
About the layout what you're gonna do and one end the briefing they were like lock your doors at night

547
00:39:12,300 --> 00:39:16,620
And it's like because we got a guy coming around here jacking off on people's faces

548
00:39:17,500 --> 00:39:24,140
Releasing seed onto people's faces and running so the people like they'll wake up like what the fuck and this dude's already gone

549
00:39:24,540 --> 00:39:28,220
training and he was whenever I was going through reception like they were so

550
00:39:28,940 --> 00:39:33,500
Keen about it because I guess either was happening or it just happened and they were like lock your fucking doors

551
00:39:33,500 --> 00:39:37,100
And they gave us this example. I was like, well gonna lock my door tonight. Yeah

552
00:39:37,740 --> 00:39:39,740
Unless you want spurs on their face

553
00:39:40,060 --> 00:39:42,700
That sounds like something parents tell their kids when they want

554
00:39:44,220 --> 00:39:48,620
It's like, you know go to sleep or somebody's gonna come in here and jerk off on your face

555
00:39:48,700 --> 00:39:50,700
Hey, he's just trying to make a better garden

556
00:39:54,140 --> 00:39:56,140
I'm surprised you didn't hit the

557
00:39:56,140 --> 00:40:02,940
Right, that's how you got a load out of the pithos. I don't know how much of that I believe though

558
00:40:03,420 --> 00:40:06,220
You know i'm saying like the people jerking off in the river

559
00:40:06,860 --> 00:40:12,540
To make sure you get a good harvest. That was just a weird dude that was in the like voyeurism, you know

560
00:40:13,100 --> 00:40:21,340
Like there's no scientific basis. Oh, no, they don't know what no. Yeah back then you could you could say anything just a mesopotamian pervert

561
00:40:21,980 --> 00:40:25,260
Yeah, he could have been just mad at him like that nigga was jacking off in the nile river

562
00:40:25,260 --> 00:40:27,260
Or something, you know, like what the fuck?

563
00:40:27,660 --> 00:40:30,220
They caught him jacking up. They're like, what the fuck are you doing, man?

564
00:40:30,220 --> 00:40:33,500
He's like it's for the you know, a newb ish told me to do it

565
00:40:34,140 --> 00:40:37,100
For the plants and fucking corn or whatever the fuck we grow

566
00:40:37,580 --> 00:40:38,940
You know what?

567
00:40:38,940 --> 00:40:41,100
And all that has to happen is it randomly happens?

568
00:40:41,100 --> 00:40:45,580
Yeah, like he does that he tells people that then it's like like the corn starts growing and they're like, oh well

569
00:40:45,740 --> 00:40:49,980
I guess you do have to jack off and you know, it's just something that just was gonna happen everybody out there

570
00:40:50,060 --> 00:40:52,060
It's just jerking off into this river

571
00:40:52,060 --> 00:40:54,780
I mean, we need a new harvest. Come on

572
00:40:56,060 --> 00:40:59,840
And then it all fails and it's like it's because one of you doesn't believe hard enough

573
00:41:04,380 --> 00:41:07,740
Oh my gosh, that's what that's what always blows my mind about like human sacrifice

574
00:41:08,540 --> 00:41:12,380
Who was the first person to be like let's throw this bitch over the river. You know what I mean?

575
00:41:12,540 --> 00:41:15,020
Yeah, we got throw off the cliff. We're not getting any fucking rain

576
00:41:15,020 --> 00:41:22,620
No, man, I remember in class we learned like it was in that the aztecs would do the huge they would take like prisoners of war

577
00:41:22,780 --> 00:41:29,660
When they would fight like the neighboring clans or tribes or whatever and they take the prisoners of war and sacrifice them to their god

578
00:41:29,740 --> 00:41:31,740
Like pull their heart out and shit

579
00:41:31,820 --> 00:41:36,940
Yeah, they didn't eat them or nothing. They weren't weird. They just tortured them dude. I didn't even

580
00:41:37,980 --> 00:41:42,220
But you gotta think some of these droughts and shit were like for hundreds of years

581
00:41:42,220 --> 00:41:48,700
Is yeah and that just fucks you up. That's like, you know generations of people who've never seen rain. That's fucking wow

582
00:41:48,940 --> 00:41:54,620
Yeah, that's crazy. How do you even survive though? I don't know. How do you get food? You got a trade?

583
00:41:54,780 --> 00:41:59,580
You got like sell your wife for sure do something like that. Sell kids sell the kids first

584
00:41:59,580 --> 00:42:02,220
They were selling kids in america during the great depression great depression

585
00:42:03,340 --> 00:42:09,980
Bought a couple you think fuck I don't want no goddamn kids buy some but that was back in the day when you could discipline them

586
00:42:09,980 --> 00:42:12,380
And like yeah make them do shit for you

587
00:42:13,100 --> 00:42:17,100
That is how sick would it be if you could just make them go buy a pack of cigarettes for you

588
00:42:17,100 --> 00:42:20,620
You can stay here and edit the podcast. God that'd be so good. Hey, yeah

589
00:42:21,180 --> 00:42:26,540
Get a beef jerky too. You have to write them a note be like it's for me. It's like it's for my dad dude. Come on

590
00:42:27,420 --> 00:42:32,140
That will be tight. See kids are good. I guess uh, whatever they get to a certain age and they can do shit for you

591
00:42:32,460 --> 00:42:38,060
But before that they're just fucking leeches man. They used to be useful until they made all these fucking cps laws

592
00:42:38,060 --> 00:42:43,660
Yeah, yeah bullshit. No, you I thought this was a free country. Yeah, I did guess not. I made them

593
00:42:43,660 --> 00:42:45,180
Why can't I fucking hit them?

594
00:42:45,180 --> 00:42:47,740
I don't get it. You got to be able to you got to be able to spank

595
00:42:47,820 --> 00:42:49,740
I'm not saying beat the shit out of them

596
00:42:49,740 --> 00:42:55,660
But some of these kids you could tell even they're like your age or oh a little bit older than you even like I would say

597
00:42:55,740 --> 00:43:00,060
Like 27 and below you could tell some of these motherfuckers ain't got the shit smacked out of them

598
00:43:00,300 --> 00:43:02,620
Oh, you ain't got to beat them with a view ain't got to do all that shit

599
00:43:03,100 --> 00:43:06,620
Just smack fire from motherfuckers face. Yeah, they feel that shit for the rest of their life

600
00:43:06,620 --> 00:43:09,900
Oh, yeah, you're sending a message. Yeah, I remember the first time

601
00:43:10,540 --> 00:43:12,700
First and only time I ever said I hate my mom

602
00:43:12,700 --> 00:43:17,020
She was leaving somewhere. I wanted something and I was like she was getting in the car

603
00:43:17,020 --> 00:43:21,420
I was like, I hate you and I slammed the door. I felt like I was a shit. I heard that door open

604
00:43:22,380 --> 00:43:24,780
She commenced to whooping beating the shit

605
00:43:25,900 --> 00:43:29,260
And she did I probably only got like well, this is what she says every time

606
00:43:29,420 --> 00:43:34,300
She only whoops you a handful of times but that that was when I remember I was like never saying

607
00:43:34,300 --> 00:43:37,500
I hate you to my mom again because she she came through that door like fucking kool-aid

608
00:43:37,980 --> 00:43:43,660
Yeah, kick that bitch down and whoop my ass. I'll say dude. I'll say this my fifth grade teacher

609
00:43:43,740 --> 00:43:44,860
I went to a public school

610
00:43:44,860 --> 00:43:51,100
My fifth grade teacher had a paddle in her classroom and would call kids parents and if their parents agreed get the fuck out of him

611
00:43:51,180 --> 00:43:55,820
In front of the class. Oh, it was crazy and it happened to me one time dude. I was like never

612
00:43:56,300 --> 00:44:01,020
You got paddles in front of class broke the eighth amendment, dude. I can't even remember what it was for either

613
00:44:01,020 --> 00:44:05,820
I think I was just talking when I wasn't supposed to be and shit, and you know, my fucking grandparents aren't going to be like

614
00:44:05,820 --> 00:44:10,700
No, yeah, and be like whoop his fucking ass. So like they like dude. It was terrible

615
00:44:10,700 --> 00:44:14,380
I swear my feet came up off the floor dude. There was holes drilled into it

616
00:44:14,540 --> 00:44:19,660
It was like a thick ass piece of wood get the handle. I don't want to know where she bought it

617
00:44:19,820 --> 00:44:23,260
That was like 2015. All right. I wasn't in the fifth grade

618
00:44:24,380 --> 00:44:26,380
2012

619
00:44:26,380 --> 00:44:31,340
God damn, I know they still did it alabama don't give a fuck. I don't even know if that was okay

620
00:44:31,420 --> 00:44:37,020
Like I don't I don't even know if that was legal, but it 100 happened dude. She had a paddle in the classroom

621
00:44:37,500 --> 00:44:43,740
I remember it vividly wild and my grandma used to hit me with whatever she had at the ping pong pad

622
00:44:44,220 --> 00:44:49,420
The wooden back scrap whatever the fuck she had and I mean I don't hold it against her dude

623
00:44:49,500 --> 00:44:54,860
I wasn't that bad of a kid, but I was fucking I was ill. Yeah, sometimes you fuck up you need that ass

624
00:44:54,860 --> 00:44:57,020
Well, yeah, you know you got that was my

625
00:45:00,700 --> 00:45:04,140
They had paddles too at my school like one time they were trying to whoop my ass or something

626
00:45:04,380 --> 00:45:06,700
My mom came in there like nobody whooped my kid's ass

627
00:45:06,700 --> 00:45:09,820
But me then she put me in the car she was quiet as fuck man

628
00:45:09,900 --> 00:45:14,780
That was the most quietest ride of my life and then she had me go in the room. She like closed the door

629
00:45:15,100 --> 00:45:16,220
She waited 50 minutes

630
00:45:16,220 --> 00:45:21,180
I'm trying to put all the clothes on cover my ass and get ready and then as soon as she opened the door all that

631
00:45:21,180 --> 00:45:27,420
Shit went out the window. I just ran for dear life and tripped over my fat ass because I was like big and I was just rolling

632
00:45:27,660 --> 00:45:29,660
Then she grabbed me. I tried to crawl

633
00:45:30,140 --> 00:45:32,300
Janked me back and then got me like

634
00:45:32,940 --> 00:45:36,060
Took the pants off. I was almost butt naked except my underwear

635
00:45:36,700 --> 00:45:38,780
Fucking horrible shit

636
00:45:38,780 --> 00:45:41,180
Yeah, it gets real like primal real quick

637
00:45:41,660 --> 00:45:48,780
Because once you decide to run away you hit the abort button you realize it's just your physical abilities versus theirs at that point

638
00:45:48,780 --> 00:45:50,940
And when you're a kid, dude, you're getting your ass

639
00:45:51,820 --> 00:45:56,060
Every time and then she'll take you to the foster care and be like, you know what you could be here

640
00:45:56,060 --> 00:45:58,060
Be keep it up. Oh damn

641
00:45:58,380 --> 00:46:00,860
She did that to you. Yeah, she be on scared straight

642
00:46:02,300 --> 00:46:05,340
You keep it up you gonna be here fighting every day

643
00:46:06,220 --> 00:46:09,260
Fuck then them foster kids bro. Yeah, I'm fucked up

644
00:46:09,900 --> 00:46:11,980
like a lot of my family works with the uh

645
00:46:11,980 --> 00:46:16,620
But these are the like the foster kids who are uh, like get taken from dcfs and shit like that

646
00:46:16,620 --> 00:46:21,820
I got little mental problems. Yeah, and uh, the motherfuckers will fuck you up. Yeah, they get in your ass

647
00:46:23,260 --> 00:46:27,580
It was so funny this dude. He was the big basketball. I give him gut. Yeah

648
00:46:28,300 --> 00:46:33,420
Gus so gus, uh, he was working there and he was like put it on his facebook post his big ass facebook

649
00:46:33,420 --> 00:46:36,300
Put now these kids and they slow because they like got something wrong with

650
00:46:36,620 --> 00:46:40,860
And he was like, I just got assaulted at work. So I guess the kid was like hey come out here

651
00:46:40,860 --> 00:46:45,100
He told him he couldn't he couldn't he had to go to bed. All right, he said he hit him with the laptop

652
00:46:45,100 --> 00:46:48,140
I'm like, damn in the back of the head and start stumping his legs

653
00:46:48,700 --> 00:46:51,260
I swear to god, I hope I can find a face before

654
00:46:51,580 --> 00:46:56,780
He said they was stopping his legs soon as I soon as I seen this everybody start calling like did you see the thing?

655
00:46:56,780 --> 00:46:57,980
Gus got

656
00:46:57,980 --> 00:47:02,780
What he hit him in the back of the head with a laptop when he failed they start stumping his leg

657
00:47:05,260 --> 00:47:10,140
I think it was just the one and when you see the dude it was like a little scrawny kid and we're like gus

658
00:47:10,380 --> 00:47:13,500
You could have just whooped his you know, you could have just held him down and stuff

659
00:47:13,500 --> 00:47:15,500
He's like man, he hit me in the back of the head with his lap

660
00:47:16,220 --> 00:47:20,460
Yeah, when they but when they sneak sneak hits you bro, it's over. Come on, man

661
00:47:21,180 --> 00:47:26,220
I don't care you get hit and like cracked in the back of the head by like a toshiba laptop, bro

662
00:47:26,460 --> 00:47:28,460
You're not getting that might be it

663
00:47:28,700 --> 00:47:33,100
And the only way you can get up is with your legs dude that they're smarter than you think

664
00:47:33,580 --> 00:47:38,060
They go for the weak points. You know what they can do. That's the ewoks

665
00:47:38,140 --> 00:47:42,380
They can't beat the stormtrooper just face to face. They got set up booby traps and shit

666
00:47:42,380 --> 00:47:47,740
But home alone he had to set up traps. You just got situational awareness

667
00:47:48,460 --> 00:47:50,460
Vietnam they knew the terrain dude

668
00:47:53,580 --> 00:47:55,260
Oh shit

669
00:47:55,260 --> 00:48:01,100
You got any funny work stories or crazy? No shit's not really happening work. Work is always depressing dude

670
00:48:01,660 --> 00:48:03,660
Nobody ever falls off that fucking

671
00:48:04,380 --> 00:48:07,980
Swinging dude. The thing is if you fall off into that net

672
00:48:07,980 --> 00:48:13,100
Yeah, you have they won't get you out they make you stay in it until the fire department gets there

673
00:48:14,140 --> 00:48:15,580
Really?

674
00:48:15,580 --> 00:48:20,780
No, is it? No, it's like legally it's it's some fucking code that like you can't do it

675
00:48:20,780 --> 00:48:22,780
And you can't physically pull yourself up

676
00:48:23,340 --> 00:48:26,140
I don't I don't I mean nobody's gonna like hold you down

677
00:48:26,140 --> 00:48:31,100
Yeah, yeah, but i'm saying is it like is that because you you it's probably hard to get up through that net

678
00:48:31,180 --> 00:48:32,700
Like to get back up there and grab something

679
00:48:32,700 --> 00:48:38,780
I mean if you don't have the physical ability to stand up not fall over when you swing a golf club

680
00:48:38,860 --> 00:48:41,260
You're probably not gonna be able to pull yourself out of that net

681
00:48:41,900 --> 00:48:47,100
And you know our infrastructure is questionable at best. So if that net might just break

682
00:48:47,740 --> 00:48:53,900
You might fall through and hit the next one. I've seen i've seen somebody on uh online like fall all the way

683
00:48:53,980 --> 00:48:56,780
They missed the net. Yeah, it's a small ass net

684
00:48:57,500 --> 00:49:00,300
It's probably only rated for like up to 150 pounds

685
00:49:00,300 --> 00:49:03,820
So my ass ain't going right to that this day me too. I'm a dude

686
00:49:05,020 --> 00:49:08,140
People throw the golf clubs all the time though. That's always fun

687
00:49:08,620 --> 00:49:15,420
Okay, and every once in a while somebody will hit one and like slice it so far. It like hits the next person's machine

688
00:49:16,460 --> 00:49:18,220
One day somebody's gonna get hit one time

689
00:49:18,220 --> 00:49:21,180
So I bounce it off the fucking thing and i'm out there cleaning up

690
00:49:21,660 --> 00:49:25,900
Some mess somebody made and the fucking thing whizzed right by my head and hit the wall

691
00:49:25,900 --> 00:49:31,740
Oh hell, no, man. Yeah, if I get hit by that dude, i'm coming for all the money in the world. You're gonna be rich

692
00:49:32,300 --> 00:49:33,660
I don't make it

693
00:49:33,660 --> 00:49:35,420
Do you get to drive the car out there?

694
00:49:35,420 --> 00:49:40,300
Hell no, dude. That's the facilities people that do that. I'm not doing people try to hit the car

695
00:49:40,380 --> 00:49:45,020
Yeah, they tell you don't hit the car everybody want I try to I thought they were making it so you would hit the car

696
00:49:45,100 --> 00:49:48,460
Like I thought well they armor it up. Yeah, like it's like an armored vehicle

697
00:49:48,460 --> 00:49:52,860
They put all the pads and the metal bars on that's the best time to shoot is when the car's out there

698
00:49:52,860 --> 00:49:58,380
I thought that's what you're aiming for when you're on the first floor people will put it on the tee put the ball on the

699
00:49:58,380 --> 00:50:03,500
tee get the driver and just wait for it to come by and just unload into this fucking thing

700
00:50:04,300 --> 00:50:11,100
I'm not gonna say anything about give a fuck fuck that guy the facilities people stop eating all the fucking food that they make

701
00:50:11,980 --> 00:50:14,700
Dude, yeah, they eat all the fucking food, dude

702
00:50:15,020 --> 00:50:21,260
The facilities are just some bunch of biggins. They're already on the first floor where the meal comes out and they go and they get it all

703
00:50:21,260 --> 00:50:26,780
Okay, they get it all it's fucked up. Yeah, it's fucked up. They know what they're doing

704
00:50:27,100 --> 00:50:31,980
You know what since we are up here telling people statements at the jobs and shit people

705
00:50:31,980 --> 00:50:36,220
You gotta stop fucking up these bathrooms and grocery stores man, cuz people gotta clean that shit up

706
00:50:36,220 --> 00:50:40,220
I had somebody do a revenge shit put it all over the fucking walls and

707
00:50:40,340 --> 00:50:45,260
Sinks and shit and everybody's like bread and you could do it and as I'm cleaning they like you want a free sub

708
00:50:45,260 --> 00:50:47,560
Who the fuck want to freeze up after that bullshit?

709
00:50:47,560 --> 00:50:53,400
Shit, then a homeless lady was taking a shower in there rubbing all this shit. They're like Brandon. Can you do that?

710
00:50:53,400 --> 00:50:56,160
It's just in a mouse. I don't fuck with mouse

711
00:50:56,800 --> 00:50:58,560
It's horrible, man

712
00:50:58,560 --> 00:51:00,560
They love me to clean

713
00:51:03,600 --> 00:51:08,080
They had you clean so they they like shits on the wall get brand yes

714
00:51:08,080 --> 00:51:13,600
Yeah, every time and everybody felt so bad. I feel so bad for him. He's gonna enjoy that sub though. No the fuck

715
00:51:13,600 --> 00:51:15,600
I'm not no, so what do you want?

716
00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:18,360
You got gloves, I hope you all hell yeah

717
00:51:19,400 --> 00:51:25,200
Mask, yeah gloves well kovac season. Thankfully. Yeah, I had a mass. I just got gloves mass. That's it

718
00:51:25,760 --> 00:51:30,640
Why was somebody coming a bathroom smear shit? So they got mad cuz we kicked him out the first time

719
00:51:30,640 --> 00:51:34,360
Yeah, yeah elephant. They know what they kicked him out for

720
00:51:35,160 --> 00:51:37,160
smearing shit on the water

721
00:51:37,200 --> 00:51:40,840
And then he came back. He's like fuck you guys repeat offender. Are you saying?

722
00:51:40,840 --> 00:51:44,080
Yeah, like a civil war

723
00:51:47,960 --> 00:51:49,960
No, I said what he looked like

724
00:51:51,960 --> 00:51:53,960
Lieutenant Dan

725
00:51:54,680 --> 00:51:56,680
Elephant foot

726
00:51:57,800 --> 00:51:59,800
Lieutenant

727
00:52:01,880 --> 00:52:04,160
Feel you I fuck that I don't

728
00:52:04,800 --> 00:52:06,800
Okay, they're asking me. I'm like no

729
00:52:06,800 --> 00:52:12,080
Oh, yeah, hell no you do it the like if you had to do it one time. I'm not doing it the next

730
00:52:12,680 --> 00:52:18,000
I'm not doing it the first time. I'm gonna be honest. I don't I think you could not pay me enough to do that shit

731
00:52:18,400 --> 00:52:23,800
If that's your job you guys don't have a janitor right? We are gender. Yeah, they are the janitor

732
00:52:23,840 --> 00:52:28,880
So you have to rotate that out. That's a manage. That's the manager's job. I'm like look dude

733
00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:35,840
You're you're our leader you go in there and you clean the shit up. I gotta go fucking help this lady check out

734
00:52:35,840 --> 00:52:37,840
I don't know. I got anything but this

735
00:52:37,840 --> 00:52:42,280
That's why they go to brand new don't bring every time like it was so bad

736
00:52:42,280 --> 00:52:46,160
They're like damn when you clean every fucking time somebody like that's cuz he's so damn good

737
00:52:46,160 --> 00:52:48,240
I'm gonna start to stop being good

738
00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:53,000
Wall with shit on

739
00:52:53,600 --> 00:52:55,600
Shit

740
00:52:55,600 --> 00:52:57,600
I'm not guys

741
00:52:57,720 --> 00:52:59,720
Those soup to the level hell

742
00:53:00,360 --> 00:53:03,960
If you're ever in a public restroom smearing shit on the wall, dude

743
00:53:03,960 --> 00:53:09,040
You made a bad decision that I was somewhere along. Yeah, I mean you're great

744
00:53:09,040 --> 00:53:09,680
You're insane

745
00:53:09,680 --> 00:53:14,760
if you if you are touching shit unless you're trying to get out of a drug case or a murder case if

746
00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:17,000
You're touching shit and smeared it on stuff

747
00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:20,200
You're clinically insane. You know, they're gonna do that. Try to get out of shit

748
00:53:20,200 --> 00:53:22,840
Yeah, how does that help you to get out because they say they're crazy

749
00:53:22,880 --> 00:53:27,760
so you killed somebody now you want to smear shit act like you eat it and all that shit and then

750
00:53:28,360 --> 00:53:31,240
He's crazy. No nigga trying to get off for that 30 years

751
00:53:31,240 --> 00:53:34,280
but uh, but if you like just so regular I

752
00:53:35,200 --> 00:53:39,600
Don't know. I just thought about this like let's say you were like drunk and you hit a pregnant lady

753
00:53:39,960 --> 00:53:45,920
Killed her. It's like try to plead insanity. You go out and kill another pregnant lady. See I'm crazy

754
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:48,480
I'm crazy

755
00:53:48,920 --> 00:53:53,440
Don't fuck with me like only only an insane person would do the exact same thing

756
00:53:54,720 --> 00:54:00,080
Yeah, but they gotta keep them both like those are ones I'm scared out of real crazy people. Oh, yeah, dude

757
00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:06,460
Could I love crazy like genuinely crazy people terrifying but I love watching them dude like on TV, right?

758
00:54:06,640 --> 00:54:11,440
No, I've met some crazy ass people in real life. Like this person is not okay. Uh-huh like dude

759
00:54:11,440 --> 00:54:15,960
It's not all they don't got it going on. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but in an aggressive way

760
00:54:17,880 --> 00:54:21,360
Aggressive way like like you scare you black. Okay, he might

761
00:54:22,080 --> 00:54:27,880
Might fuck where they just don't fuck with anybody. Yeah, even if you're cool with them, they might still just kill you

762
00:54:27,880 --> 00:54:32,960
Yeah, I don't like that. That's not fun. Yeah. Yeah, nobody likes to feel insecure in their relationship

763
00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:36,840
Yeah, you know that dude

764
00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:42,040
Okay, but uh

765
00:54:42,040 --> 00:54:47,560
Did you guys see about the dude that beat the fuck out of his fucking teacher for taking his Nintendo switch?

766
00:54:47,560 --> 00:54:49,560
Oh, yeah, like six foot eight

767
00:54:49,760 --> 00:54:54,200
Knocked their ass out. He was autistic or something. All right, man, it was fucked up. He beat the shit now

768
00:54:54,200 --> 00:55:00,360
He was like 16, but he looked like he was 30 and even when she was knocked out he was still yeah

769
00:55:00,360 --> 00:55:03,880
Yeah, it was it was rough rough to watch that you got a lot. You got me

770
00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:08,360
I don't give fuck he might be out there trying to say he out this who gives a fuck

771
00:55:09,400 --> 00:55:11,920
For a minute. Yeah, you got to lock him up

772
00:55:12,320 --> 00:55:15,600
You got to do something with him put him in an instant mental institution or something

773
00:55:15,600 --> 00:55:19,960
You can't be beating somebody you beat somebody why they unconscious that's a sign of

774
00:55:19,960 --> 00:55:26,940
Of uh, you know, I'm saying psychopath. Yeah, you can't beat like if they cuz you can't beat somebody when they look dead

775
00:55:27,280 --> 00:55:29,280
That's a crazy but what I say

776
00:55:30,640 --> 00:55:36,920
I'm imagining it. It's like they're like, yeah, he beat the fuck out of that lady that defenseless woman

777
00:55:36,920 --> 00:55:41,520
Yeah and continue to hit her while she's unconscious. It's because he doesn't pick up on social

778
00:55:41,520 --> 00:55:48,680
Kids, what are you talking about? Dude? It's that's not like a somebody going unconscious. He didn't notice stop. Yeah

779
00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:52,360
Well, you shouldn't have started that's not really the main

780
00:55:55,360 --> 00:56:01,400
That's why whenever people be saying like whenever they like if these person murders somebody oh, but he's he's insane

781
00:56:01,400 --> 00:56:03,880
Yeah, there's ain't saying ass need to don't be around people

782
00:56:04,040 --> 00:56:08,360
Yeah, this doesn't get that's not a reason for you to get out earlier just because you're mentally unstable

783
00:56:08,360 --> 00:56:14,040
That's a that's actually a reason to stay in longer. Oh, yeah the person who killed somebody and then they were like

784
00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:19,080
Oh, I changed my ways and then they'd be lying too. But you know, I'm saying I'd rather have that person out in the street

785
00:56:19,680 --> 00:56:24,280
Then I would just somebody who just killed them cuz I'm sling blade. You ever seen same place

786
00:56:24,280 --> 00:56:28,440
I hit him with silent like matter this nigga need to be locked up loved him loved the movie

787
00:56:28,440 --> 00:56:30,960
Yeah, but he needed to be locked up. He just ready to kill somebody

788
00:56:30,960 --> 00:56:34,800
Oh, yeah, you know I'm saying at least like help him find Jesus or something

789
00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:40,440
Jesus Allah Buddha something fine. Uh, was it Zina?

790
00:56:43,000 --> 00:56:45,000
Find one of them motherfuckers the goddamn

791
00:56:45,680 --> 00:56:48,920
Then people scare me the most me too when I was in high school up

792
00:56:48,920 --> 00:56:53,080
We had Columbine had happened like in 1999. I was in high school like in

793
00:56:54,600 --> 00:56:59,580
2002 I think was my first year and when I was born I was born a year later. Yeah

794
00:56:59,580 --> 00:57:06,260
Yeah, yeah young motherfuckers. But when that shit was I was always scared. I was like be nice to these motherfucking the weird guys

795
00:57:06,460 --> 00:57:09,580
Yeah got to be nice to him and Dila wouldn't

796
00:57:10,860 --> 00:57:14,660
Do you know what the water you know, he'll fuck we love is on the hit list for sure

797
00:57:14,660 --> 00:57:19,660
Oh, he was definitely. Oh, he's definitely on some hit list. Yeah, for sure. Luckily a lot of people done died already

798
00:57:19,660 --> 00:57:24,700
I'm just that luckily when I'm called a bomb threat in you ever had that

799
00:57:24,700 --> 00:57:29,580
Oh, yeah, we had a guy that they wouldn't let them they made them start wearing a clear backpack

800
00:57:30,580 --> 00:57:35,820
Yeah, you I remember that joke and I'm just like I don't he still has his car like in the parking lot

801
00:57:35,820 --> 00:57:39,620
Y'all don't we don't have metal detector. You just open up the doors for 30 minutes

802
00:57:39,620 --> 00:57:43,340
Like we they could have came in and killed everybody in there did

803
00:57:43,980 --> 00:57:46,940
That we are schooled in the school of metal detector

804
00:57:46,940 --> 00:57:49,940
I mean we I mean we grew up with school shooting

805
00:57:49,940 --> 00:57:55,900
Yeah, Sandy Hook like that happened when I was in elementary school. I didn't give a fuck back then. Yeah, damn

806
00:57:56,700 --> 00:58:03,220
Well, yeah, cuz I mean, it's just such a crazy thing to I mean you have to be really really in this in the south

807
00:58:03,220 --> 00:58:08,100
We're fine. Yeah. Oh, yeah, we have got yeah, I was gonna nothing like that. Yeah, he just probably got a gun in a drawer

808
00:58:08,100 --> 00:58:11,140
Oh hell yeah, I know a lot of them now be like I'm ready to fuck some shit up

809
00:58:11,140 --> 00:58:13,940
I'm ready to fuck some shit up. I'm ready to fuck some shit up. I'm ready to fuck some shit up

810
00:58:13,940 --> 00:58:17,420
Oh hell yeah, I know a lot of them now be like I'm ready to fuck some shit. Oh, yeah

811
00:58:17,420 --> 00:58:19,420
They were waiting for ya'll they were fretting us man

812
00:58:21,020 --> 00:58:26,740
What what they used to fretting us sometimes I wonder he's like pull up at y'all house and whoop your ass with my cane bitch

813
00:58:26,740 --> 00:58:30,500
Don't play with me and then he called me a dumbass in front of everybody straight after he did

814
00:58:30,500 --> 00:58:36,020
They like that and Brandon you with that dumbass response. That's why you got a big ass head and small brain

815
00:58:36,020 --> 00:58:40,380
I was like, come on, man. You can't be doing what grade were you in when this freshman in high school? Oh

816
00:58:40,380 --> 00:58:48,140
Yeah, I go I had a teacher like that big game James big game and he hated when you bite big game

817
00:58:49,100 --> 00:58:54,700
He had it. He had like he had one tooth. He had a bald head and he was uh, he was like real tall

818
00:58:54,700 --> 00:58:56,100
But he had like a fucked up knee

819
00:58:56,100 --> 00:59:00,340
So he walked with like this shake shit and every time he come by black big game

820
00:59:00,340 --> 00:59:03,880
He'll say that who said it and he got so mad at me one time

821
00:59:03,880 --> 00:59:09,260
I even do nothing to this punk ass motherfoot, but somebody threw something at him and I laughed of course

822
00:59:09,260 --> 00:59:15,300
I'm a laugh because he goes to me who did that? You know, he did it's funny. And so, uh, so I laughed

823
00:59:15,300 --> 00:59:19,340
He said he said he said come here motherfucker. I was like, well, I got that we had lunch, you know I'm saying

824
00:59:19,340 --> 00:59:22,940
So we had to walk back up to we in the lunch. We had to walk back up to our class

825
00:59:22,940 --> 00:59:27,780
I'm going to a class right next to here. So I'm just walking there. He he hounded me like he

826
00:59:28,100 --> 00:59:31,080
Next to me. I whipped my girl too. I'm trying to buy them like oh man

827
00:59:31,540 --> 00:59:36,700
He like he like your dick in the booty ass your mama your daddy all y'all just

828
00:59:36,700 --> 00:59:41,820
Fucking hey like that in front of everybody like the whole school was following us

829
00:59:41,820 --> 00:59:46,700
Don't know school was like fuck and so I'm like, I'm like coach why you better get your ass up out my face, man

830
00:59:46,700 --> 00:59:51,420
Trying to talk like that trying to act a little hard and then uh, he was like he was he's like no you laugh at

831
00:59:51,420 --> 00:59:55,580
All these white motherfuckers. There's only two black teeth. You want to laugh at these white motherfuckers

832
00:59:55,580 --> 00:59:58,200
I'm like it was guns who threw the shit at you. He blacked

833
00:59:58,780 --> 01:00:02,900
Yeah, what fuck you talk about a black dude named Gus. I don't believe it. Yeah

834
01:00:02,900 --> 01:00:06,860
So then so we walk up to the thing and he's still and at this point I'm talking shit

835
01:00:06,860 --> 01:00:11,560
But I'm like fuck you you old-ass motherfucker you crackhead bitch cuz he used to do come

836
01:00:12,260 --> 01:00:15,780
I'm like you crackhead a bitch and he hit my books out of my hand

837
01:00:15,780 --> 01:00:21,180
Push me and I went to go like dive at him and mr. Griff or a Spanish teacher grabbed me back

838
01:00:21,180 --> 01:00:23,740
He's like no, it's not worth it. It's not worth it. I got suspended

839
01:00:24,700 --> 01:00:28,420
Hey, I got I was a good wrestler like I went to college for wrestling

840
01:00:28,420 --> 01:00:30,620
I got spent it during like a big wrestling competition

841
01:00:30,620 --> 01:00:34,580
I got spent it during like a big wrestling meet that I tried to appeal it

842
01:00:34,580 --> 01:00:38,480
They was like no this motherfucker ain't getting nothing. That's bullshit. That is bullshit

843
01:00:38,480 --> 01:00:41,420
Oh, he's he tried to hit me what you know, he did doing a stop sign thing

844
01:00:41,420 --> 01:00:47,660
You know what? I the school teachers sometime do the stop sign and he turned it long ways and swung it at me

845
01:00:47,660 --> 01:00:54,180
Oh hell what yes, well he stood I'm telling you we then you know my retaliation. I don't go tell shit

846
01:00:54,180 --> 01:00:57,220
No, no, no motherfucker. We're going to your house. He had a Cadillac

847
01:00:57,220 --> 01:01:03,740
We wrapped that bitch with saran wrap through all the trash from his dumpster right there on it went knocked on his door and left

848
01:01:04,060 --> 01:01:07,140
Damn, and oh we covered it in toilet paper like we fucked it

849
01:01:07,140 --> 01:01:08,820
Well, we didn't we didn't do no damage to the car

850
01:01:08,820 --> 01:01:10,620
But he had to do a lot of shit to get in that motherfucker

851
01:01:10,620 --> 01:01:14,500
Yeah, I know y'all motherfuckers at my house, but he probably thought it was Gus cuz Gus

852
01:01:16,860 --> 01:01:20,100
That's how I found out one of the reasons would that's some

853
01:01:20,500 --> 01:01:26,020
That's how I found out a little bit autistic with a teacher fucking with me man, because in second grade

854
01:01:26,020 --> 01:01:30,180
I was in art class and I said hey is this straight like if this is a good line or something

855
01:01:30,180 --> 01:01:36,100
She said nah, man and push me on the ground and then like I was so shocked to my mom got her fired the next

856
01:01:36,100 --> 01:01:40,700
Day and we would tell like folktales about her shit. So you got a fire. That's good

857
01:01:42,700 --> 01:01:46,860
Push me to the ground. I'm in first grade. You can't push like kids six years old

858
01:01:46,860 --> 01:01:50,860
You ain't supposed to

859
01:01:52,540 --> 01:01:55,340
What the fuck kind of schools were y'all going to man?

860
01:01:55,340 --> 01:01:57,340
Chapman

861
01:01:58,340 --> 01:02:00,340
Centrair high school baby

862
01:02:00,340 --> 01:02:05,020
In tray high school they had it all we had but we didn't have no this is what the thing was

863
01:02:05,060 --> 01:02:07,620
We didn't have no teachers fucking students guy or girls

864
01:02:08,140 --> 01:02:11,700
I'm pretty mad about the fucker. We had couple fine teachers. Y'all had that right?

865
01:02:11,700 --> 01:02:14,540
We had that. I was close. They weren't putting out back then

866
01:02:14,540 --> 01:02:21,380
No, it was but it's only cool when it's a female teacher male student. We had the opposite

867
01:02:21,380 --> 01:02:26,100
So it was like male teacher female students. So it just wasn't even cool to talk about it

868
01:02:26,100 --> 01:02:31,580
Just like that's the weirdest double standard, but I mean like it just it's just like you that's kind of gross, bro

869
01:02:32,020 --> 01:02:35,380
Whenever I was in high school, we had a fucking dude

870
01:02:35,380 --> 01:02:37,260
It was like when the war or two that yes

871
01:02:37,260 --> 01:02:43,380
So the war had just was popping off and this girl in my grade and we were sophomores had her military

872
01:02:43,380 --> 01:02:49,240
Boyfriend come talk to us about the war in class and now at the time you didn't think him like oh shit school

873
01:02:49,240 --> 01:02:54,620
She's made she's like going out with this army guy looking back now. I'm like she was 16 max

874
01:02:55,820 --> 01:03:00,580
She's 24 the teachers like oh I teachers loved of his shit and back there

875
01:03:01,580 --> 01:03:04,540
Back when we had patriotism you can do shit

876
01:03:05,860 --> 01:03:09,700
He's by far cut we had common enemy people that look like Dom

877
01:03:09,700 --> 01:03:11,700
Damn

878
01:03:13,420 --> 01:03:19,860
We had a we had like some crazy like redneck teachers when I was in middle school because we were kind of out in the country

879
01:03:19,860 --> 01:03:27,120
But we had this one dude. Mr. Shatterfield my geography geography teacher. He had one leg and one fake leg

880
01:03:27,140 --> 01:03:31,120
He got it ripped off by a tractor when he was like a teenager

881
01:03:31,900 --> 01:03:33,380
but at the pep rallies

882
01:03:33,380 --> 01:03:39,860
He would take it off and like throw it like swing it around throw it into the crowd and people like pass it around

883
01:03:40,100 --> 01:03:43,180
We're in middle school kind of weird, but that's cool man

884
01:03:43,460 --> 01:03:48,000
Nobody in our all our sports team suck so it wasn't like a big celebration

885
01:03:48,000 --> 01:03:49,700
He just kind of did it to do it

886
01:03:49,700 --> 01:03:55,580
But he'd also like throw it at people in class if they went to sleep. Uh-huh. He like throw the fucking prosthetic way

887
01:03:55,580 --> 01:03:59,220
I'm like you think that thing like ten thousand that's like half your yearly salary, right?

888
01:03:59,220 --> 01:04:01,860
He's right about buck on man that rustling

889
01:04:02,580 --> 01:04:06,620
Huntsville forever gang gang. I didn't even go to buck one day. Oh

890
01:04:07,620 --> 01:04:09,620
My fucking God Sparkman

891
01:04:10,580 --> 01:04:15,380
You didn't have a bad I'm sorry. I don't know why I thought you wouldn't buck on for a split second

892
01:04:15,380 --> 01:04:19,540
I just looked at no you do my bad and like a lot of you people out there

893
01:04:19,540 --> 01:04:23,420
I don't know what any of this shit means Sparkman was good though. They had a pretty good wrestling team

894
01:04:23,420 --> 01:04:30,820
Fuck them clip of the week you ready watch some clips Dom. Let's watch some clips man

895
01:04:30,820 --> 01:04:32,820
I'm smoking cigarette

896
01:04:32,820 --> 01:04:54,820
Go

897
01:05:02,820 --> 01:05:04,820
That's a great job

898
01:05:23,860 --> 01:05:27,340
Yeah, first bit is definitely a January 6 outfit

899
01:05:30,220 --> 01:05:31,820
That uh

900
01:05:31,820 --> 01:05:35,500
Yeah that uh fucking I loved all those jokes the rock hole was just

901
01:05:37,820 --> 01:05:41,980
No, I just I see I remember when he went up I'd seen that guy before

902
01:05:42,460 --> 01:05:48,900
But I didn't remember talking to him talking about that shit the wrong hole. I just I somebody told me that one time

903
01:05:48,900 --> 01:05:52,460
They were like, there's no I think it was my dad actually. He was like, there's no such thing

904
01:05:54,700 --> 01:05:56,700
There's only people not brave enough

905
01:05:57,420 --> 01:05:59,420
That's like that

906
01:05:59,420 --> 01:06:03,060
I've never met you dad before that's right old bread for hell

907
01:06:03,700 --> 01:06:10,260
Dude, you gotta meet he's he's you he's a you love him or you hate him type of guy because he's never not gonna be

908
01:06:10,260 --> 01:06:15,540
Himself. I'm a level bit. He's crazy. I love all people. That's the best type of people man

909
01:06:15,540 --> 01:06:20,680
I'll be yourself to be when you be faking shit like that. People can see that shit. Mm-hmm though

910
01:06:21,140 --> 01:06:26,860
You can see right through that shit. Yeah, it's only one way to be is your goddamn self people like it fuck

911
01:06:26,860 --> 01:06:31,460
Yeah, you gotta be you man. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I won't have it any other way

912
01:06:36,060 --> 01:06:39,620
Go I don't like whenever they don't pay me back whenever they said they were gonna pay me back

913
01:06:40,500 --> 01:06:44,180
It's one time. I caught a friend who didn't pay me back in time at a Dairy Queen

914
01:06:45,540 --> 01:06:47,540
Ice cream is for the rich

915
01:06:49,100 --> 01:06:51,260
Great value pudding and I'm being nice

916
01:06:51,260 --> 01:06:55,420
I pick this clip for so many reasons

917
01:06:55,420 --> 01:07:01,420
First of all, it was very nice in the first half because that's a good tagline for that joke ice cream is for the rich

918
01:07:01,420 --> 01:07:06,620
People laughed at it and then uh, the fellow comedian men

919
01:07:06,620 --> 01:07:10,540
Yeah, I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man

920
01:07:10,540 --> 01:07:14,700
I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man

921
01:07:14,700 --> 01:07:17,500
I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man. I'm a man

922
01:07:17,500 --> 01:07:21,780
That a fellow comedian men. Yeah, Aiken

923
01:07:23,340 --> 01:07:30,500
She's cool. She she asked to read so one of her ticks, you know, she called Tom the F slur which is hilarious

924
01:07:37,220 --> 01:07:41,100
What'd you call her Trisha Takenawa Trisha Takenawa for the family guy

925
01:07:42,340 --> 01:07:47,180
Nobody I mean it got a little bit maybe couple people do Jake. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, right Jake laughs

926
01:07:47,180 --> 01:07:51,140
And then Michelle, is it Michelle Yeoh?

927
01:07:51,140 --> 01:07:53,420
I was like Michelle Yeoh, fat.

928
01:07:53,420 --> 01:07:54,260
Fat.

929
01:07:54,260 --> 01:07:55,100
I mean nobody, I'm talking about her.

930
01:07:55,100 --> 01:07:57,260
And then I was like oh okay.

931
01:07:57,260 --> 01:08:00,060
I'm like okay she could call me a fat bitch but I can't.

932
01:08:00,060 --> 01:08:02,500
But nobody, like these random people didn't remember.

933
01:08:02,500 --> 01:08:05,660
It doesn't matter, the joke is solid, I love it.

934
01:08:05,660 --> 01:08:07,140
I had it planned out.

935
01:08:07,140 --> 01:08:08,740
But it's just hilarious to me that you like

936
01:08:08,740 --> 01:08:09,780
throw your hands up and you're like,

937
01:08:09,780 --> 01:08:11,460
why is nobody laughing that much in front

938
01:08:11,460 --> 01:08:13,220
of a disabled person?

939
01:08:13,220 --> 01:08:14,980
What the fuck, this is fucked up.

940
01:08:14,980 --> 01:08:19,980
It's like, I'm publicly shaming the person with the disease.

941
01:08:23,540 --> 01:08:25,380
Why are you not laughing, I don't get it.

942
01:08:25,380 --> 01:08:28,020
This is like that canned Philly skit, you remember?

943
01:08:28,020 --> 01:08:29,740
I mean it was funny.

944
01:08:29,740 --> 01:08:33,100
But it's also even funnier that people didn't laugh.

945
01:08:33,100 --> 01:08:35,900
To me that makes it more funny than it people did laugh.

946
01:08:35,900 --> 01:08:38,700
Like when you watch that, like watching it back right,

947
01:08:38,700 --> 01:08:40,980
that's my first time watching it back.

948
01:08:40,980 --> 01:08:41,820
Nobody laughs.

949
01:08:41,820 --> 01:08:45,300
And you're like, oh my god, what's going on guys?

950
01:08:45,300 --> 01:08:47,300
We're comedians, dude, she's a comedian.

951
01:08:48,260 --> 01:08:49,780
She called me fat and it's like yeah,

952
01:08:49,780 --> 01:08:51,380
well she couldn't help it.

953
01:08:54,580 --> 01:08:56,540
She also told me I was smoking a cigarette.

954
01:08:56,540 --> 01:09:01,540
She was like, before this show, and she was like,

955
01:09:01,820 --> 01:09:04,180
don't smoke, you're gonna die at a Barry Grave

956
01:09:04,180 --> 01:09:05,020
or some shit like that.

957
01:09:05,020 --> 01:09:06,740
I was like, thanks.

958
01:09:06,740 --> 01:09:08,660
Dom considers that a personal attack.

959
01:09:08,660 --> 01:09:11,060
Yeah, don't tell me to fucking stop smoking, I tried.

960
01:09:11,060 --> 01:09:13,780
Dom's been quitting smoking for the past six months.

961
01:09:16,140 --> 01:09:17,420
He's on the right track.

962
01:09:17,420 --> 01:09:18,860
Yeah, he'll be there one day.

963
01:09:21,340 --> 01:09:23,220
Oh shit, that was a good night.

964
01:09:23,220 --> 01:09:25,300
That's the biker bar we're talking about.

965
01:09:25,300 --> 01:09:30,300
Daniel Castillo knew open mic at Shag Nasty's.

966
01:09:30,340 --> 01:09:31,380
That was so funny though.

967
01:09:31,380 --> 01:09:34,100
I was like, are we gonna have to not have a mic?

968
01:09:34,100 --> 01:09:35,740
Are we just gonna have to scream?

969
01:09:35,740 --> 01:09:36,580
Oh yeah, yeah.

970
01:09:36,580 --> 01:09:37,420
That would've been funny.

971
01:09:37,420 --> 01:09:39,020
Yeah, because it was like a musical act

972
01:09:39,020 --> 01:09:40,700
that went on before the comedy,

973
01:09:40,700 --> 01:09:43,460
like the open mic, and there was a miscommunication.

974
01:09:43,460 --> 01:09:46,460
We thought we were gonna get to keep the mic, but we didn't.

975
01:09:46,460 --> 01:09:49,300
So we had an emergency sent shout out to Jonathan.

976
01:09:49,300 --> 01:09:51,740
And the whole PA system.

977
01:09:51,740 --> 01:09:53,340
But did you notice, he stayed.

978
01:09:54,620 --> 01:09:56,500
He was like, I'm taking my shit,

979
01:09:56,500 --> 01:09:57,340
but I'm staying for the show.

980
01:09:57,340 --> 01:09:58,180
And then he stayed for the first half.

981
01:09:58,180 --> 01:09:59,540
Damn, that's crazy, man.

982
01:10:01,340 --> 01:10:02,420
I feel it though.

983
01:10:02,420 --> 01:10:03,620
Yeah, I understand.

984
01:10:03,620 --> 01:10:05,180
Cause they can fuck up your shit, you never know.

985
01:10:05,180 --> 01:10:07,100
Yeah, but Alex said that he told Daniel

986
01:10:07,100 --> 01:10:12,100
that he can use his shit for the Tuesdays.

987
01:10:12,580 --> 01:10:13,940
Because he doesn't have one going.

988
01:10:13,940 --> 01:10:16,620
You notice a mic didn't fuck up at Fazzammies last week?

989
01:10:16,620 --> 01:10:17,500
No, it did not.

990
01:10:17,500 --> 01:10:20,620
It didn't do that screeching thing that it usually does.

991
01:10:20,620 --> 01:10:21,980
I wasn't there last week.

992
01:10:21,980 --> 01:10:22,820
Are you talking about yesterday?

993
01:10:22,820 --> 01:10:23,660
Yesterday.

994
01:10:23,660 --> 01:10:24,500
Oh, okay.

995
01:10:24,500 --> 01:10:25,340
Yeah, yeah, it didn't.

996
01:10:25,340 --> 01:10:26,180
Oh, I love yesterday.

997
01:10:26,180 --> 01:10:27,020
Hell yeah, dude.

998
01:10:27,020 --> 01:10:28,060
Huntsville Comedy World on the come out.

999
01:10:28,060 --> 01:10:30,220
No more technical difficulty.

1000
01:10:30,220 --> 01:10:32,860
We just get rid of the equipment entirely.

1001
01:10:32,860 --> 01:10:34,860
We just yell at you.

1002
01:10:34,860 --> 01:10:38,060
Also shout out to Fazzammies with that wrestling shit, man.

1003
01:10:38,060 --> 01:10:38,900
Perfect shit.

1004
01:10:38,900 --> 01:10:40,700
You should do that every Wednesday, I feel like.

1005
01:10:40,700 --> 01:10:41,540
I loved it.

1006
01:10:41,540 --> 01:10:42,980
WrestleMania, survive the series.

1007
01:10:42,980 --> 01:10:46,100
That's the perfect business model

1008
01:10:46,100 --> 01:10:48,220
to attract people on the spectrum, dude.

1009
01:10:48,220 --> 01:10:50,460
It's because when they walk in and they see WWE,

1010
01:10:50,460 --> 01:10:51,300
they're not leaving.

1011
01:10:51,300 --> 01:10:52,940
Look at this shit.

1012
01:10:52,940 --> 01:10:56,100
They will stand there and buy drinks for four hours

1013
01:10:56,100 --> 01:10:59,380
watching fucking Hulk Hogan slam Andre the Giant.

1014
01:10:59,380 --> 01:11:02,340
And it was hilarious because during Charlie's set,

1015
01:11:02,340 --> 01:11:04,740
me and Syfy were dying because like,

1016
01:11:04,740 --> 01:11:06,540
Hulk Hogan was on the screen.

1017
01:11:06,540 --> 01:11:08,540
He wasn't even wrestling nobody.

1018
01:11:08,540 --> 01:11:11,220
He was standing in the middle of the ring just flexing.

1019
01:11:11,220 --> 01:11:12,060
Oh yeah.

1020
01:11:12,060 --> 01:11:13,940
Through Charlie's whole set.

1021
01:11:13,940 --> 01:11:16,340
Like Charlie got the light.

1022
01:11:16,340 --> 01:11:18,180
Like seven minutes and just Hulk Hogan

1023
01:11:18,180 --> 01:11:19,060
standing in the ring flexing.

1024
01:11:19,060 --> 01:11:21,740
People are losing their damn minds, dude.

1025
01:11:21,740 --> 01:11:24,260
He walked to the ring with a big ass American flag.

1026
01:11:24,260 --> 01:11:27,060
I think it was after he slammed Andre the Giant.

1027
01:11:27,060 --> 01:11:27,900
Oh, okay.

1028
01:11:27,900 --> 01:11:28,740
And he was just flexing.

1029
01:11:28,740 --> 01:11:29,580
Everybody was hyped.

1030
01:11:29,580 --> 01:11:31,500
They'd never seen anything like that before.

1031
01:11:31,500 --> 01:11:35,500
That was before CGI.

1032
01:11:35,500 --> 01:11:37,260
You see the one where at the end he pulls up

1033
01:11:37,260 --> 01:11:40,340
with the canes and shit all fucked up with Andre?

1034
01:11:40,340 --> 01:11:41,180
Oh yeah.

1035
01:11:41,180 --> 01:11:42,740
Yeah, I was like damn man.

1036
01:11:42,740 --> 01:11:43,580
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1037
01:11:43,580 --> 01:11:44,980
I seen that. With the snake incident.

1038
01:11:44,980 --> 01:11:47,180
Yeah, when they were finna squish the snake again.

1039
01:11:47,180 --> 01:11:48,180
Thank God they didn't.

1040
01:11:48,180 --> 01:11:50,980
Remember that scene, 1990, 1989.

1041
01:11:50,980 --> 01:11:52,060
Something around that.

1042
01:11:52,060 --> 01:11:53,820
Brad is autistic as fuck.

1043
01:11:53,820 --> 01:11:55,940
Pokey dance for WWE, man.

1044
01:11:55,940 --> 01:11:59,140
Wish I could do this with math, but nah, just WWE.

1045
01:11:59,140 --> 01:12:01,540
You don't get a scholarship for that.

1046
01:12:01,540 --> 01:12:06,540
We had a dude, he was in the army, but he was clearly,

1047
01:12:07,260 --> 01:12:09,580
something was, he had a mental disability.

1048
01:12:09,580 --> 01:12:11,020
I don't know what it was, probably autistic,

1049
01:12:11,020 --> 01:12:13,540
but he was hard on the spectrum, not like Jake.

1050
01:12:13,540 --> 01:12:15,140
Severe. Yeah, severe.

1051
01:12:15,140 --> 01:12:17,340
And he loved a couple things.

1052
01:12:17,340 --> 01:12:18,180
He loved feet.

1053
01:12:19,020 --> 01:12:19,940
So he is like Jake.

1054
01:12:19,940 --> 01:12:20,940
Jake, yep.

1055
01:12:20,940 --> 01:12:23,940
And wrestling and strip clubs.

1056
01:12:23,940 --> 01:12:25,180
He loved these three things

1057
01:12:25,180 --> 01:12:27,140
and he spent all his money on that.

1058
01:12:27,140 --> 01:12:29,100
So he's met every wrestler in the world.

1059
01:12:29,100 --> 01:12:30,900
He's been to every event.

1060
01:12:30,900 --> 01:12:35,380
And if the strippers were like, whenever he would come in,

1061
01:12:35,380 --> 01:12:36,620
they would push everybody,

1062
01:12:36,620 --> 01:12:38,300
the strippers would push everybody out the way,

1063
01:12:38,300 --> 01:12:40,900
go right to Rusty and fuck it.

1064
01:12:40,900 --> 01:12:41,740
His name was Rusty?

1065
01:12:41,740 --> 01:12:44,220
Rusty, Rusty Rutherford.

1066
01:12:44,220 --> 01:12:45,060
My nigga, Rusty, LA.

1067
01:12:45,060 --> 01:12:46,900
Do you still talk to him and stuff?

1068
01:12:46,900 --> 01:12:48,700
Dude, we should hang out one day, man.

1069
01:12:48,700 --> 01:12:49,540
We're wrestling and shit.

1070
01:12:49,540 --> 01:12:54,300
He was like, okay, so we just talked about our clips, right?

1071
01:12:54,300 --> 01:12:55,580
Literally, it would be like 10 minutes.

1072
01:12:55,580 --> 01:12:58,820
He'd be like, hey, JJ, you remember the time

1073
01:12:58,820 --> 01:13:01,220
we were sitting here and we watched clips

1074
01:13:01,220 --> 01:13:02,860
of us doing standup?

1075
01:13:02,860 --> 01:13:04,740
And he'd be like, yeah, Rusty, it happened 10 minutes ago.

1076
01:13:04,740 --> 01:13:06,060
He was like, that's cool.

1077
01:13:06,940 --> 01:13:08,980
Dude, that was like Dante last night.

1078
01:13:08,980 --> 01:13:10,900
He really came up to me before the open mic.

1079
01:13:10,900 --> 01:13:13,780
He was like, JJ, you know, I'm actually not super high

1080
01:13:13,780 --> 01:13:14,820
or super drunk this time.

1081
01:13:14,820 --> 01:13:15,900
I was like, oh, good, man.

1082
01:13:15,900 --> 01:13:18,460
And he was like, I'm gonna quit smoking so much.

1083
01:13:18,460 --> 01:13:19,980
And I'm like, good for you, man.

1084
01:13:19,980 --> 01:13:21,100
You're doing good.

1085
01:13:21,100 --> 01:13:24,500
You know, your mind's on the right track, dude.

1086
01:13:24,500 --> 01:13:28,060
Five minutes later, he comes up to me and he's like,

1087
01:13:28,060 --> 01:13:31,380
JJ, you remember earlier today when I told you

1088
01:13:31,380 --> 01:13:32,940
I wasn't high as fuck?

1089
01:13:32,940 --> 01:13:35,180
Well, we just went outside and hit the pin

1090
01:13:35,180 --> 01:13:36,620
and now I'm high as fuck.

1091
01:13:36,620 --> 01:13:37,860
And I'm like, okay.

1092
01:13:37,860 --> 01:13:40,460
You mean like five minutes ago, earlier today?

1093
01:13:42,300 --> 01:13:44,180
Five minutes ago when we saw each other

1094
01:13:44,180 --> 01:13:45,980
for the first time today.

1095
01:13:45,980 --> 01:13:46,820
Yeah.

1096
01:13:46,820 --> 01:13:48,140
I was holding my eyes and like,

1097
01:13:48,140 --> 01:13:49,580
Spongebob with a spatula.

1098
01:13:49,580 --> 01:13:52,100
He just ran over to me like, I need that.

1099
01:13:52,100 --> 01:13:54,420
All right, here you go, buddy.

1100
01:13:54,420 --> 01:13:55,500
Man, what happened with The Rock?

1101
01:13:55,500 --> 01:13:56,940
Hell yeah, man.

1102
01:13:56,940 --> 01:13:58,220
He a wrestling fan, too.

1103
01:13:59,420 --> 01:14:00,260
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1104
01:14:00,260 --> 01:14:01,460
He was on his Instagram.

1105
01:14:01,460 --> 01:14:03,020
He was like, The Rock is back.

1106
01:14:03,020 --> 01:14:04,340
Oh, for real, man?

1107
01:14:04,340 --> 01:14:05,180
Hell yeah.

1108
01:14:05,180 --> 01:14:06,020
He was geeked about that shit.

1109
01:14:06,020 --> 01:14:08,660
Did he talk about that on Flashpoint, dude?

1110
01:14:08,660 --> 01:14:09,500
Flashpoint 27.

1111
01:14:09,500 --> 01:14:11,100
And I didn't get a notification.

1112
01:14:11,100 --> 01:14:12,060
Yeah, I didn't.

1113
01:14:12,060 --> 01:14:12,900
I didn't get a notification.

1114
01:14:12,900 --> 01:14:13,740
He had a new one up.

1115
01:14:13,740 --> 01:14:16,780
Flashpoint, Dante Huff's podcast.

1116
01:14:16,780 --> 01:14:17,620
You're in for a treat.

1117
01:14:17,620 --> 01:14:18,460
We should have Dante on.

1118
01:14:18,460 --> 01:14:19,940
I was like, we had Charlie on.

1119
01:14:19,940 --> 01:14:21,100
We should, dude.

1120
01:14:21,100 --> 01:14:22,220
I would love that.

1121
01:14:22,220 --> 01:14:23,060
I would love that more than anything, dude.

1122
01:14:23,060 --> 01:14:26,020
I think you guys would love it more than anything, too.

1123
01:14:26,020 --> 01:14:28,020
Because we've been talking about it, you know?

1124
01:14:28,020 --> 01:14:28,860
Give little heads about Dante.

1125
01:14:28,860 --> 01:14:30,860
You need to get him to send in a clip.

1126
01:14:32,460 --> 01:14:33,300
Oh, yes.

1127
01:14:33,300 --> 01:14:34,140
And I know which one.

1128
01:14:34,140 --> 01:14:34,980
I know which one.

1129
01:14:34,980 --> 01:14:35,820
I know which one you want.

1130
01:14:35,820 --> 01:14:36,660
Well, let's see.

1131
01:14:36,660 --> 01:14:37,500
Which one do you want?

1132
01:14:37,500 --> 01:14:40,140
Well, I think we have to have your ass

1133
01:14:40,140 --> 01:14:41,740
is never 100% clean.

1134
01:14:41,740 --> 01:14:42,580
It has to be that.

1135
01:14:42,580 --> 01:14:43,860
Jamaican misfortune cookie.

1136
01:14:43,860 --> 01:14:44,700
That's what I was thinking.

1137
01:14:44,700 --> 01:14:46,100
Come on.

1138
01:14:46,100 --> 01:14:47,060
That's a good joke.

1139
01:14:47,060 --> 01:14:47,900
I love it.

1140
01:14:47,900 --> 01:14:50,340
I love that joke, man.

1141
01:14:50,340 --> 01:14:51,580
I even started, I'm starting to,

1142
01:14:51,580 --> 01:14:53,060
the queef is growing on me.

1143
01:14:53,060 --> 01:14:54,580
I like it the way he told it the first time

1144
01:14:54,580 --> 01:14:55,420
when he was like.

1145
01:14:55,420 --> 01:14:56,260
Queef.

1146
01:14:56,260 --> 01:14:57,340
I just learned this new word.

1147
01:14:57,340 --> 01:14:58,180
Queef.

1148
01:15:00,100 --> 01:15:01,900
Hey, dude, he might say the same premises,

1149
01:15:01,900 --> 01:15:03,300
but he never says the same joke.

1150
01:15:03,300 --> 01:15:04,140
No.

1151
01:15:04,140 --> 01:15:04,980
Exactly the same.

1152
01:15:04,980 --> 01:15:05,800
Oh, no, no, no.

1153
01:15:05,800 --> 01:15:07,420
His material is constantly evolving.

1154
01:15:08,420 --> 01:15:09,260
I mean.

1155
01:15:09,260 --> 01:15:10,980
Is Dante on the show?

1156
01:15:10,980 --> 01:15:11,820
I don't know.

1157
01:15:11,820 --> 01:15:12,660
I don't think so.

1158
01:15:12,660 --> 01:15:13,480
No.

1159
01:15:13,480 --> 01:15:14,320
I'm not sure.

1160
01:15:14,320 --> 01:15:15,160
I don't know who the fifth person is.

1161
01:15:15,160 --> 01:15:16,000
Oh, okay.

1162
01:15:16,000 --> 01:15:17,100
Wait, that's a good fucking question.

1163
01:15:17,100 --> 01:15:19,740
Yeah, because I know it's us three, Jake,

1164
01:15:19,740 --> 01:15:21,460
and then one more person.

1165
01:15:21,460 --> 01:15:22,300
Okay.

1166
01:15:22,300 --> 01:15:23,540
I know Jonathan Silver, but.

1167
01:15:23,540 --> 01:15:25,460
But he's the veteran comic.

1168
01:15:25,460 --> 01:15:26,300
I don't know who the other one is,

1169
01:15:26,300 --> 01:15:28,940
because I asked Charlie, he said no.

1170
01:15:28,940 --> 01:15:29,900
Who else is new?

1171
01:15:29,900 --> 01:15:32,500
Maybe, well, I guess Daniel wouldn't count,

1172
01:15:32,500 --> 01:15:35,100
because he was doing it before he got here.

1173
01:15:35,100 --> 01:15:37,460
But I think that was out before

1174
01:15:37,460 --> 01:15:39,420
Ken wouldn't know who he is.

1175
01:15:39,420 --> 01:15:40,540
Shout out, Shenanigans.

1176
01:15:40,540 --> 01:15:41,380
Hell yeah.

1177
01:15:41,380 --> 01:15:42,220
Yeah, shout out, Shenanigans.

1178
01:15:42,220 --> 01:15:43,460
Shout out.

1179
01:15:43,460 --> 01:15:44,620
I don't know, dude.

1180
01:15:44,620 --> 01:15:45,940
I have no fucking clue.

1181
01:15:45,940 --> 01:15:47,820
I'm not sure about.

1182
01:15:47,820 --> 01:15:49,540
We'll get some clips for you guys.

1183
01:15:49,540 --> 01:15:52,160
We're promoted on everything we got.

1184
01:15:52,160 --> 01:15:56,040
But yeah, and thanks guys for supporting us.

1185
01:15:56,040 --> 01:15:56,880
You guys have been great.

1186
01:15:56,880 --> 01:15:57,720
Thank you so much.

1187
01:15:57,720 --> 01:15:58,540
Hell yeah.

1188
01:15:58,540 --> 01:16:00,000
Hopefully we keep on getting better

1189
01:16:00,000 --> 01:16:01,760
and these episodes start.

1190
01:16:01,760 --> 01:16:03,120
We got some skits that I think

1191
01:16:03,120 --> 01:16:06,000
is are going to fucking blow your guys' minds.

1192
01:16:06,000 --> 01:16:09,320
They're gonna be, you know, if you're watching our skits,

1193
01:16:09,320 --> 01:16:11,760
you're not watching it for, you know, perfect.

1194
01:16:11,760 --> 01:16:12,600
Yeah.

1195
01:16:12,600 --> 01:16:15,640
It's gonna be funny in the way that we're funny.

1196
01:16:15,640 --> 01:16:16,480
Yeah.

1197
01:16:16,480 --> 01:16:17,520
I think it's gonna be great.

1198
01:16:17,520 --> 01:16:19,880
Saturday Night Live doesn't have shit

1199
01:16:19,880 --> 01:16:21,920
on clown college skits, dude.

1200
01:16:21,920 --> 01:16:24,720
It's like, you ever seen Dolomite is my name?

1201
01:16:24,720 --> 01:16:25,680
Kind of like that.

1202
01:16:25,680 --> 01:16:27,520
Funny as fuck, we putting it together.

1203
01:16:27,520 --> 01:16:28,360
Yeah, exactly.

1204
01:16:28,360 --> 01:16:29,180
We getting that shit.

1205
01:16:29,180 --> 01:16:30,020
Like the original Dolomite.

1206
01:16:30,020 --> 01:16:31,840
We going hard, bruh.

1207
01:16:31,840 --> 01:16:34,600
Not like, I said that wrong, but you know what I mean.

1208
01:16:34,600 --> 01:16:35,560
You said you getting hard?

1209
01:16:35,560 --> 01:16:39,120
No, I mean, we getting it pumped up.

1210
01:16:39,120 --> 01:16:39,960
Good for you, Brandon.

1211
01:16:39,960 --> 01:16:40,800
That sound better.

1212
01:16:40,800 --> 01:16:41,640
Cue the applause.

1213
01:16:41,640 --> 01:16:43,180
Not, well.

1214
01:16:43,180 --> 01:16:44,020
Yeah.

1215
01:16:46,020 --> 01:16:47,720
Yay.

1216
01:16:47,720 --> 01:16:51,280
We got to limit Brandon to three soundboards

1217
01:16:51,280 --> 01:16:52,640
in an episode.

1218
01:16:54,040 --> 01:16:55,720
He was going crazy in the beginning.

1219
01:16:55,720 --> 01:16:56,560
Oh, hell yeah.

1220
01:16:56,560 --> 01:16:57,400
I just.

1221
01:16:58,680 --> 01:17:01,200
I love how he played the first ever one for himself.

1222
01:17:01,200 --> 01:17:02,040
Yeah.

1223
01:17:02,040 --> 01:17:04,200
I had to get that one in there.

1224
01:17:04,200 --> 01:17:05,840
I wouldn't want it any other way.

1225
01:17:07,960 --> 01:17:08,800
Oh shit.

1226
01:17:08,800 --> 01:17:09,880
All right, guys.

1227
01:17:09,880 --> 01:17:11,380
I'll see you in our solo episode.

1228
01:17:11,380 --> 01:17:12,280
Hell yeah, man.

1229
01:17:12,280 --> 01:17:13,120
Hope you like it.

1230
01:17:13,120 --> 01:17:14,280
Thanks for all the support.

1231
01:17:14,280 --> 01:17:15,120
Thank you.

1232
01:17:15,120 --> 01:17:18,720
Sharing it, liking, commenting, clips and everything.

1233
01:17:18,720 --> 01:17:19,560
Hell yeah.

1234
01:17:19,560 --> 01:17:20,380
Means a lot.

1235
01:17:20,380 --> 01:17:21,360
Oh yeah, and on our channel,

1236
01:17:21,360 --> 01:17:24,120
we're going to start cutting up clips like the skits

1237
01:17:24,120 --> 01:17:28,360
and then different things that were good in each episode.

1238
01:17:28,360 --> 01:17:29,280
It's going to take me a minute,

1239
01:17:29,280 --> 01:17:31,520
but we're going to start getting all that out.

1240
01:17:31,520 --> 01:17:33,120
Just have like little five minute clips

1241
01:17:33,120 --> 01:17:34,920
so you can go in there and watch that.

1242
01:17:34,920 --> 01:17:37,160
And some new graphics.

1243
01:17:37,160 --> 01:17:38,280
We're on Facebook now.

1244
01:17:38,280 --> 01:17:39,600
Don't forget us on Facebook.

1245
01:17:39,600 --> 01:17:40,680
Shout out Blake.

1246
01:17:40,680 --> 01:17:42,680
Shout out Blake, unsung hero.

1247
01:17:42,680 --> 01:17:46,600
Blake and Jack, unsung heroes of clown college comedy.

1248
01:17:46,600 --> 01:17:47,960
Dude, you guys don't understand.

1249
01:17:47,960 --> 01:17:49,400
Not all heroes wear a cape.

1250
01:17:49,400 --> 01:17:50,400
Yeah, they don't.

1251
01:17:50,400 --> 01:17:51,560
They need applause right here.

1252
01:17:51,560 --> 01:17:52,400
Hell yeah.

1253
01:17:52,400 --> 01:17:53,240
That's applause.

1254
01:17:53,240 --> 01:17:55,080
Thank you, man.

1255
01:17:55,080 --> 01:17:56,040
All right, guys.

1256
01:17:56,040 --> 01:17:56,880
See y'all.

1257
01:17:56,880 --> 01:17:57,700
We'll see you.

1258
01:17:57,700 --> 01:17:58,800
Until next time.

1259
01:17:58,800 --> 01:17:59,640
Hey.

1260
01:17:59,640 --> 01:18:21,480
Yay.