This week on Clown College.
I bet they give you a hard time about getting on the plane.
Why?
Oh yeah.
You know what?
But I have never got searched.
Oh randomly selected?
Not, never one time.
Randomly selected?
Right.
They're like, he's sweating but we know why.
Just come on through.
Yeah.
That's the same thing.
If I'm honest, Golden Girls.
Oh.
I watched that one with my grandma.
Taught me everything I know about sex and relationships.
Blanche.
Yeah.
Blanche.
She was a loose one.
Blanche was naughty.
It explains why I still have a thing for wealthy older men.
This is the Clown College podcast.
We're just a couple open micers trying to make our way through the scene.
Where we interview comedians throughout different stages of their comedy career.
No matter if they're open micers, headliners, or traveling comedians.
I'm here too.
Jamie 2.0.
I just talk a lot more.
Damn it Brandon.
Go sit in the corner.
Welcome back to Clown College Comedy.
Episode seven.
Wow.
One for every day of the week.
One for every day.
Hell yeah.
Well, have yourself a good time.
Brandon, how you feeling dude?
Man, I'm good.
You're looking beautiful today.
I feel beautiful man.
I've been having a good day.
I mean, except for gas.
I went to the gas station.
You're telling me.
And whoever's hands was that fucking musty.
Where the shit stunk that bad.
The handle?
The gas pump?
Yes man.
It smelled like shit.
It might have been shit.
Yeah, I just lifted up and I was like, I gotta go wash my fucking hands now.
Must have been Charlie got off from a shit with the sewer.
Maybe.
Hey, he needs gas too Brandon.
Can't be judging him dude.
Somebody's gotta fucking do it.
True that.
Charlie's like Mike Rowe.
Huh?
He's like Mike Rowe.
Dirty jobs.
Damn.
Shout out Charlie.
Oh Charles.
Charles Fisherman.
Oh, so what's been new?
Oh man, dude, my grandma adopted this dog.
She got a dog?
Yeah, and you know, she did the right thing.
She went to the shelter.
We didn't go to a breeder or nothing, but when you get them from the shelter, they're
at the shelter for a reason, dude.
I'm sorry.
They're fucked up.
The dog's mentally challenged and I just started saying mentally challenged so I might be as
well.
Take one to know.
What do you mean mentally challenged?
He got hit by a fucking car, dude.
He walks with a limp.
He walks like, if these are his four legs and the normal dog walks like this, he's got
two over here, two over here and he's like, he looks like a fucking sidewinder and his
tongue's never in his mouth, dude.
He's one of them.
Half pit bull, half boxer, full of energy.
Good dog.
You know, he just a little, he lags behind sometimes.
You got a Brandon dog like that Dom dog.
Remember?
What you mean?
Remember when we had the Dom dog?
I said half German Shepherd, half pit bull.
Brandon got them jokes there.
Yep.
I'm going to get it back Monday.
You're going to roast the shit out of me.
Half boxer, half pit bull, dude.
He's Leon Edwards.
Ooh, man.
That dude's tough.
Now I just found out that Brandon's terrified of animals.
Some of them.
That tracks.
I never thought about it.
You want to explain what happened at Jake's house?
Yeah.
So I went to Jake Muncie's house and he had a cat and as soon as he let the cat out.
Squeaks.
Squeaks came up and see, I got to get used to cats.
This is my third time ever seeing a cat in person, holding it or touching it.
I didn't touch it or hold it.
So every time it came up to me, I just stand up naturally.
Just be like, okay.
And everybody, you can sit down.
It's okay.
I don't, because I don't know, man.
What's going to happen?
The cat is the nicest cat in the world.
I know.
He was so cool.
I'm going to hold him next time.
I told him I said I promised him.
He's working his way up to it.
Everybody was telling him to hold him that Jake would just have him on him and then he'll
let him down.
And then if the cat came by Brandon anywhere, like within five feet, Brandon just stood
up.
Why he's talking like, cause he talks, he'll talk for two hours straight.
He also told us bat shit crazy stories for two hours straight.
Okay, man.
I'm scared of pussy too.
Sometimes it happens.
That was a scared ass pussy.
I'm going to get used to it.
Especially when they're all hairy like squeaks is.
You don't like full bush?
Oh, hey, I did it for the, for the joke.
For the love of the game.
I'm down full bus or not.
George W and HW scared of squeaks.
I will say we were, I went over to Jake's record a podcast and squeaks was on the, that
little round table and Jake was like, I fixed the map African Greenland where I was like,
I didn't fucking, nobody knows that besides you, Jake.
I hope you know that people are not aware of this fucking geography that you're concerned
about.
But he was squeaks was straight up.
It's that's his dude.
He's got a fucking wood map.
Each piece, each country is its own wooden piece that he put together on the wall and
spaced it out.
Like the Mercator projection is bad ass.
I mean, it's awesome.
It's awesome.
I mean how, but how he thinks anybody, he could have put a whole country in it.
What place it wasn't supposed to be.
You could throw 15 fake countries and nobody would know.
Nobody would know.
Dom can't even locate the countries that he was stationed in.
There's no way I could find Kirkistan right now.
Squeaks was up there on like that round table and we were just doing it.
And I went to like adjust the mic a little bit in the middle and he clawed the shit out
of me.
Oh, so he does have a, he does have a mean streak in them, dude.
Plus I saw you do that thing.
He called you.
Yeah.
But like, it was just like, barely.
I just, Jake's probably been like, don't say that about me.
Don't say that.
I'm sorry, Jake.
It happened, dude.
Don't deny it.
Don't be a victim.
I mean, Jake was in there giving that bad squeaks a full body massage.
Oh my God.
He loves that cat.
I love the fact that he loves that cat.
Yeah.
It's just so awesome to see people genuinely passionate about something.
And it's so funny, like his humor is so dark, but he's so loving towards the cat.
Yes.
And you saw that fucking civil war musket he's got up.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
That was the first thing I saw.
That's crazy, dude.
Oh my God.
I went to the gun range for my first time.
What?
And I did good.
You passed the sight test?
Oh no, they just let me in there.
Yeah, of course.
That's how it did.
What happened?
What'd you shoot?
Man, I shot up whatever they handed me.
Handgun, shotgun.
Yeah, it was handgun.
My uncle has two.
He has one for laser, then my mom got one for laser.
So everybody was just like, Brandon, you want to shoot this one?
Don't fuck with Brandon.
And I was doing really like, yeah, I even got a picture.
Look at how dumb I look in this picture.
Oh my God.
I'm going to shoot this one.
And I was doing really like, yeah, I even got a picture, look at how dumb I look in
this picture.
I look crazy.
Because I'm so like, you got me next to the gun range, I'm just...
Everybody like, what the fuck?
He's got the gun like he does the pointies.
Yeah, they were like, you're too happy, Brandon.
And you know what was crazy when I was there, though?
As soon as I got there, I looked back, there was a whole fucking class of rabbis, which
you guys are some good...
What?
Yeah, and they were shooting it down too.
Rabbis?
Yeah, one day he was like, this is how you shoot this.
I just heard...
I'm like, damn.
What the fuck was they shooting?
The anti-Semitism is ramping up.
They ain't fucking having it, dude.
Hey, you bet.
Y'all better stick with it.
Those Alabama rabbis.
It was like rifles and shotguns, man.
The big shit.
Okay, I'm going to stop.
Desert Eagles, they're Israeli made.
I'm going to stop using my Jew jokes.
I'm scared of these, my boy.
There's going to be a red dot in your head.
They might pull out.
I knew you were Indian.
And they're going to teach them too.
See, if you click right there, yep, you did it right.
You're the true one.
Damn, dude.
Oh shit.
I went to Stand Up Live.
It was Jaylen Brown and Dan Price's first time, I believe, performing at Stand Up Live
on a show, right?
On a page show.
Congratulations, Dan and Jaylen.
Congratulations.
You'll see Dan later.
Yeah, in just a couple minutes.
Hey!
Sound effects.
We're the sound effects.
We're legit now, dude.
Hell yeah.
I don't know what the fuck that was.
But Jaylen went first.
Well, Scott Easton did.
He went first.
He opened it up.
And then Jaylen went and I swear, just murdered.
And Jaylen, he's on the first episode.
Go watch him.
You'll understand his mind.
Hilarious.
And he's hilarious.
And he says the riskiest jokes.
And it worked with every single person in there.
I love it.
I ordered it off, had a callback.
I won't give away any of his jokes, but it was beautiful.
Dan went up next.
Dan killed him.
It was some older rowdy older ladies in the front.
Dan's favorite.
They loved it.
It was some Dan, baby.
Dan Price, pay the price, dude.
The price is right.
Hell yeah.
The price is right, dude.
That was fun.
And then went to Shenanigans after.
And fucking Jake Muncie won Shenanigans.
Yep, he won.
Won the open mic.
He killed him, though.
100 doll heads.
Oh my gosh.
Behind enemy lines, dude.
Saving Private Ryan.
Came back down 20 in the fourth quarter, dude.
Lighted out.
Tracy McGrady.
13 points in 30 seconds, dude.
They love him.
Yeah, he was great.
I love it, dude.
I love it.
Yeah, yeah.
He's a beast.
He's an upcomer.
He was on.
He's filled in for you.
Yep.
On Nico's episode.
And we'll get him on his own episode because his money just works.
I love Jake.
That's my guy.
Jake.
I honestly think, like in terms of my humor, I truly do think he's the funniest person
in Huntsville in terms of like what I find funny.
Like something about his style just resonates with me.
I like it because it's smart, it's quick, you don't know what's going to happen.
He always beats you to the punch.
Always.
I know his jokes.
I still laugh.
Yeah.
Same here.
I know his jokes and I still get surprised.
I can't get it.
When Jake goes up, I pay attention.
Same here.
It's just the way he performs.
You motherfuckers don't want to know the truth.
I love that.
They don't want you to know the truth.
That's just fucking bad.
They don't want you to know the truth.
I'm trying to tell you, but they don't want you to know.
I'm drunk.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's perfect, man.
And he's so chill up there too, man.
Amazing.
You know he's nervous, but it doesn't come off that way.
I only know he's nervous because I know him as a person.
You would think he's stone cold up there.
Just out there doing it for the love of the game.
Literally sitting in the pocket, dude.
He will sit down on that stool and still crack everybody up.
Like on Wednesday when he sat down.
Dude, I fucking love it.
So nonchalant.
Just going out there.
He knows that shit is funny.
Hell yeah.
But he doesn't.
But it is.
He doesn't know, but he knows.
Yeah, exactly.
You know what I'm saying?
He'll be like, I don't know.
He knows, dude.
You go, whenever you go to all these open mics and you get a new crowd and they're laughing
every single time.
I mean, they're laughing.
Even we went, there was one at Boxcar where the people, there was two, only two people
there and they did not like the one of his jokes about school shooting.
And they didn't like that and still got him back by the end of the set.
All the way back.
Like they're participating in his act back.
Was that the couple that was sitting up close to the stage?
They were fun though.
Yeah, they were great.
They were into it.
Yeah, yeah.
They wanted it.
They were listening to everybody.
They were fucking laughing with everybody.
They wasn't giving away the laughs.
But you could earn them, which is not the same for every crowd.
Some people just have decided before you even go up there, they don't want to laugh.
I said, oh my gosh, on Wednesday I said that Trump joke and there was this little Hispanic
girl in the back and she just looked at me like, and I was like, dude, you didn't like
me before I got up here.
I know.
I get it.
It's okay.
I'll cry about it later.
You talking about the Hispanics that were on the left side of the stage?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They didn't like mine.
I went a little hard because I had two jokes, right?
And I was like, they haven't worked.
And my favorite thing to do is to do jokes in front of a crowd that haven't worked.
That's where I really get off.
But I wanted to see.
I was like, I punched them up a little bit.
Let's see if they get some laughs.
And they are hard.
I mean, they got the Asian.
You got that joke in there.
I mean, it's a little rough, but I knew that going in.
Yeah.
But I was like, because if they don't work, I'm throwing them out, at least for right
now.
You know what I'm saying?
Just going to throw them away.
And they didn't.
But she was.
They didn't work.
But she was.
She definitely didn't like them.
The two guys at the bar.
There was a couple of guys at the bar that was having a good time.
But I looked over there.
Because Dan was like, you got to start making eye contact with the crowd.
So I'm trying to look people in their eyes.
And I look over there and she's like, just like you said.
Yeah, does not happen.
And I get it.
I'm not mad at them.
I know.
It's fun for me to get those kind of reactions.
Yeah.
At least you're doing something.
The first thing you can do is just sit there and just like straight face.
Yeah.
Like that one lady that was up close.
She was not.
She didn't like my set.
But from what I could tell, she didn't like anybody else's either.
No, she didn't like one person's set.
Oh yeah, I saw that too.
She was so straightforward.
Yeah.
She didn't like one person's set.
I remember because everybody was talking about it.
They were like, dude, when it's in the middle of the crowd and that stone face.
Because it was literally your mic's right here and she was right there.
And it was stone face.
Like it's 10 feet away.
Just staring straight at you, just like not even giving you nothing.
Nothing.
Yeah.
Not even a hint of anything.
On her shoulder, right?
Yeah.
She was mad at you.
Yeah.
She went to the shenanigans too, I think.
Yeah.
Damn.
Yeah.
Looser there.
Looser there though.
Yeah, she was more.
Yeah, she was enjoying it.
Well, and then plus it wasn't right in the middle.
So who knows if she was looser, but I was kind of keeping an eye on it.
Me too, honestly.
I was keeping an eye on it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Keeping tabs on it.
I watched the crowd.
Whenever I know jokes that I like or I think the crowd's not going to like.
I know who you're talking about.
Yeah.
I look straight to the crowd.
I just want to see the crowd's face.
I love it, dude.
I love it.
It's the best part.
I like going on after those people.
But that day we were, I think me and you were like 12 and 13.
We got the sign up sheet late and I had been warned about that lady before and I was like,
you know what?
I'm not going to bow down.
So I looked at her several times throughout my set.
Same face every time.
Same fucking face every time.
I don't even think she blinked.
Like a statue.
Yeah.
Speaking of these sets.
Yeah.
Let's watch some clips.
Yeah.
Watch some clips, dude.
Fat Sammy's fusion open mic.
Clip of the week.
Go.
I'm talking to you right now.
All right.
So what do you think I am?
What race do you think I am?
Zamoa.
Zamoa?
See, that's a good one.
That's a good one.
See, a lot of times people don't know what I am.
Like you don't know whether I own a car or not.
You don't know what I am.
You don't know what the fuck I am.
Like I'm half-White, half-Black.
But no.
I'm mixed.
I'm half-White, half-White.
Half-time cops don't know why they'll beat my ass.
Yeah, I don't know.
Yeah, that's fucked up.
My dad's a six-tooth Black guy, my mom's a short German woman, and I came out looking
like Princess Jasmine's daddy.
It ain't right.
It ain't right...
Yeah.
I used that one because it was your like attempt at crowd work.
was giving you anything bro they did not help you at all in the beginning I was like I was trying to
get the people in the back I was like hey you guys in the back yeah look bro I swear to god I'm
sitting here like hey you guys in the back hey you guys in the back on the back wall I even I think
I say something like the girl right here the bench the bench in the back hey they didn't not only they
weren't even talking they didn't look up in the slightest so that's why I went to the guys at the
bar man hey you guys will talk to me right oh you're looking at me let's talk to you dude but
I mean that material normally works I've heard you I've heard you say that a lot of times I just
thought it was funny that dude said you look Samoan because when I first met you I thought a lot of
things like it could be one of any of these things Samoan was never one of them maybe if you were
wearing like a sleeveless shirt and you had some tribal tattoos okay maybe like I mean you got
rakishi this nigga Brandon just said I look like rakishi yeah you're not the rock dude
fuck you Nick you ain't shit Brandon be covered with these 80s sneak disses what else what'd you
say what'd you say about me uh at the when we were with the cat yeah okay so the cat uh Jack was
he was like giving the cat was giving him biscuits and he was like yeah you can get on my tits or
something I looked at down I was like well if you want some tits just go to Don he was fucked up at that point
yeah I was no no look the cat was trying to he's Jake said that uh cats try to nurse on on humans
and then so he was trying to uh look like he was trying to pull down Jack's uh shirt to get his
titty and then Brandon's gonna say well he really would love to damn Brandon I love it I'm fucking
Brandon up tonight I know it's a roast for Santa Claus at the shop yeah I know it's a roast for
Santa Claus but half my jokes gonna be about Brandon please I love it we'll use those clips
for next week's episode I just couldn't believe he said you look Samoan because I never once
thought that dude if you were Samoan you wouldn't be the rock you'd be the boulder
this nigga been holding on to that I kept trying to say it but then Brandon went into the cat thing
and I didn't want to interrupt that but I was sitting on that one I wanted to say that was good
all right let's see what JJ got going on just being honest there's also a firearm store in
Madison called last resort guns and my whole thing with that is what is that supposed to mean
it seems like there's no good answer for that is it a thing of like oh nobody else will sell you a
gun come on down we'll hook you up we accept travelers checks and we don't ask questions
questions or is it more of a thing of like do you feel like your life is unfixable like the
crushing weight of reality is just going to destroy your life you can't get out of this you know
they say suicide's not an option but it is you know plenty of people do it look at the statistics
it's trending right now and don't it's true dude it's just like the child soldier thing you say
what you want about the joke the facts are undeniable that's just so good last resort
jokes uh a last resort gun that's what my last resort jokes that's what I said that's what my
that's what I titled my jokes no way too you know but when you say that because it is what does that
mean what is the what is what are they trying to say yeah about their business they have that
billboard right over there on the interstate and it says last resort guns and it's like
a just a picture of like a glock and then at the bottom it says church security training classes
okay yeah that's crazy message right there it's crazy hey that's how we do it in alabama
don't fuck the church yeah no don't go to church because they will fuck you up yeah that church
will preachers carry guns and goddamn church down here stay strapped dude they got the shot
not killed but they're gonna let you see jesus yeah eye for an eye you come in shooting they
will return fire dude hell yeah sometimes you got a blast motherfucker that's what i'm saying dude
in the name of the lord yeah make heaven full yeah give them a new spot we're just trying to
fill it up yeah i need more people oh shit honestly no no you get shot trying to kill
me you're going to hell you're not going to heaven right i don't you don't know i don't know yeah you
never know you don't know the reasons yeah he could just walk in there but this is uh
this is the same night our clips from the same night right yeah yeah yeah yeah and uh the crowd
wasn't wasn't giving anything this is what we were just talking about yeah but that joke's good i don't
go fuck that last resort suicide yeah i mean come on it's right there but like that's the that's the
only other place besides boxcar i've said that joke and nobody laughed it stumbled over the line
which i do every time well when you're for jack and coke yeah yeah i'm just glad i remember
yeah yeah but but but the joke the whole premise of it last resort's gun if you if you live in
alabama you see the fucking sign for it you're like what the fuck does because you don't when
i was riding by it and never thought about it until you said it i'm like what the fuck does that mean
there is no good answer like there's no like what is it like there's nothing good about that that has
no good meaning there's no potential for a positive reasoning behind the name of that business
what the hell last resort last resort last for anything last resort for the x what that could be
anything suicide you're gonna kill somebody school who knows you're killing somebody yeah somebody
taking a drastic measure if it's last resort in the climate the social climate i mean i'm not a
very political guy myself but i would say that's a little bit unsavory to name your business
when gun violence is growing at an unprecedented rate yeah yeah and also i don't think that
travelers checks uh line that tag never gets last i would trade i would i would i would change that
but uh that part so you know keep this keep the suicide and then change the part and just uh about
something that like last resort like you couldn't get a gun because you're about to kill you know
you're a murderer yeah at last resort guns you know not that but you know in your way say something
about that can you not pass the red flag laws come on down we do not discriminate it's against our
beliefs anybody could do it also notice we talked a lot about like religious figures being strapped
today first brandon brought up the the rabbis at the firing range then preachers being strapped
and we know that we know we know the muzzle yeah i don't know how to come on that case yeah yeah
yeah they got the big thing you know i guess the rabbis do too oh yeah just found out that
rabbis was gang banging like that i didn't either i was shot i looked around like what the fuck
they all just came in there he's like okay so what you do is this and it was like one the main one
what you do is this i was like shit what the fuck hey man after that fucking hamas rocket hit
it the sales of firearms the jewish people skyrocketed dude you gotta defend the homeland
you got to you got to it's the holy land is what they say it's what that's what a few few
different groups say true that shit i don't know dude i'm just white and confused
all right guys this interview is about to be amazing oh yeah this is gonna be the easiest
interview we've ever done yeah and isn't this the uh episode where isn't it clied elroy and uh
roscan roscoe ross and yeah who what's that say both the names right now okay so it's roscoe ray
nafen and clied elrod he got it right yes he did we joked on him so hard he went home and practiced
he wrote it like a hundred times on this piece of paper yes i did oh yeah the horseshoe showdown
it's a showdown i can't wait to see it i wonder who's gonna win the championship is it gonna be
christmas day is coming early december 25th the exact day that it is improvisation baby
there's no one better hell yeah but i also love that part where you're like i got whiskey you know
crayon because i'm classy you know kachiba because i'm rich you know i was thinking you could tell i
was like i got hype once i said because i'm rich because i'm the seventh time you like tricked
yourself you're like you know i am the shit actually man that was really good oh shit that
was great man and i didn't know brandon was gonna play that character like he didn't fuck with me at
all but he fucked with your character i was like okay this is the dynamic i'll fucking beat the
shit out of you because i was like you know how them announcers always are like the one dude if
you got a dude that's been there for 25 years like let's say kobe was there and he had another dude
that just came in there who you gonna pick yeah yeah see i see what you mean yes i was like that
would be some good ass chemistry yep yeah it's good dynamic dude good dynamic man can't teach
that yeah yeah oh you guys will probably see it right now hell yeah yeah but we out let's roll
some santa claus we got some skits
right there that would have been a standing ovation for what you are about to see it's gonna be like
rocky versus creed balboa versus somebody this is roscoe ray nafen versus clied elroy two gladiators
that are gonna be horseshoeing it out and you know what like roscoe ray nafen said yes that is right
christmas is here early bitches and we gonna get it going get it going get it going get it going
get it going get it going get it going get it going get it going get it going get it going get it going
get it going this is the press conference this is now this is the time let's get started today we got
two gladiators ready to just fight it off starting us off the legend a roscoe ray nafen hell yeah
then this uh newcomer clied elrod fuck you rick fuck you elrod yeah fuck him rick fuck him he
ain't about shit seven-time champion right here god damn it the only way they can finish somebody
off is if they tag team him if you catch my drift oh yeah we do a lot of tag team where i'm from boy
we'll hit you up like a billy goat hell yeah roscoe you so fucking old you need a fucking
wheelchair i'll push you down the stairs i'm not above hurting the handicapped it's pretty fun that
you think you can push something when you still got simulac on your breath just because you park
at the front of the building don't mean you the shit it means you fucking crippled you got damn
right i'm crippled and i'm gonna cripple your ass when i'm out there pitching these shoes we'll see
about that we will see about it motherfucker we all remember that oh nine when you tried to
flight in them horseshoes you son of a bitch i swear to god you had those claims have never been
confirmed never we got the proof you're just full of nonsense you better say allegedly i'll sue your
ass can we get a check on this guy's birth certificate i think he's sourcing his shoes
from arabian horses if you know what i mean oh you motherfucker i pulled up today in my 94 mustang
fox body v6 112 horsepower who gives a fuck i drive a 2019 honda civic you son of a bitch
yeah good economical good car that is true respect shaved off my beard to make me more
aerodynamic now i'm fucking shaped like a horseshoe you sure that's not a kitty dealer mustache you got
on there because you look like chester the molester that's fucking bullshit man 17 is legal in many
states but not all first up the challenger from the mountains of mississippi clied elroy look at
his fans smacking his ass he's so excited looks like he dropped the horseshoe who knows and here
he is the champion the one the only roscoe ray nathan this guy is my hero he has been holding
this belt for seven years and here he is to defend it once again look at the champion moving so
confidently is he oh wait a minute hold up no is this oh my gosh this can't be look at roscoe ray
nathan he's tripping all over himself he's falling to the ground oh this is horrible one of the worst
incidents we have ever seen in horse shoeing history this is bad his hair came off he's suffering
will he recover call an ambulance here is the championship round first up you got clied elroy
who is his ass and well he made it next we got roscoe ray nathan the one the only and yes that's
what's up he's a little injured but he can do it all right whoo that was a perfect response let's
see what he does now he's gonna shoot it and bam just like that pow he gets it there what oh straight
off the tree he makes it like that and let's see what that oh that looked like a paraplegic tear
adapter oh he gets it from the back this is for all the marbles and he gets it he gets it he gets
it he's no no he misses it he missed this is unbelievable look at the crowd everybody's going
crazy this is pandemonium i cannot believe for the first time in seven years roscoe ray nathan has
lost it all look at all the fans go and look at everybody suffering this is bad even i was suffering
that day this is a horrible day to be in america folks i just can't believe it roscoe ray nathan
has finally lost the belt and then we got elroy over here he thinks he's the shit now he thinks
he's so happy he's celebrating he's having a good day well guess what ray nathan is going to come
back one day and take it all away from you you just watch and enjoy with your fans today this is
bullshit i'm ashamed right now never been more ashamed in my life i haven't missed a pitch in
seven years haven't missed a pitch in seven years this young son of a bitch got me now i do believe
there was some time frula going on and i'll take that to my grave a son of a bitch my knee is
messed up pretty sure i have anal leakage it's it's just not good right now guys this is roscoe ray
nathan signing off what you're looking at right now ladies and gentlemen is a champion i have the
heart of a champion the cock of a warrior and i heard there was a little bit of a dispute some
accusations floating around and they wouldn't be the first accusations of my career of some tom
foolery going on with his knee injury the man's 75 years old of course his fucking knee blew out
his patella is older than my fucking grandfather yeah i got passionate fans but they wouldn't do
nothing like that i love all my fans even the homosexuals all i'm saying is sometimes you got
to pass the torch even if you got to pass it to yourself you got to manifest your own destiny
this week's featured comedian
in
seriously love huntsville uh we moved here right after i got on the marine court
and uh 15 years ago which is a strange admission because i i know what you're thinking i know what
i look like i don't look like i look like maybe the closest i got to being in the military was i
had a stepdad who was in vietnam right like maybe i deployed once in defense of a pizza
uh i get it like and the marine corps is the worst of all because i definitely don't look
marines will tell you like well the marine corps may be the man i am today not true in my case
marine corps made me the man i was 15 years ago man i am today jack danis
and if i'm honest talk about frankly if i'm honest way too much talk about i don't eat my feelings
is what i'm saying and uh i don't know like i'm too old for that now i gotta stop eating like that
i gotta start eating better i know i uh was just in the store yesterday i bought some broccoli a
couple heads of broccoli a couple of bunches of asparagus uh no intention to eat that stuff but
we needed rubber bands and and it just it occurred to me like dude you're old enough now you gotta
start eating better 45 years old 45 years old uh and normally when you see a guy 45 doing
stand-up comedy which you're watching is a netflix special and tonight what you're watching is a
blazing midlife crisis that's what this is right here harley davidson can kiss my ass this is what
it looks like this is it you want to introduce our guest for this week jj yeah today we have uh a
very good friend of mine very good comedian very articulate amazing writer you know i did a school
project on him it was it was i did a thousand word paper matching presentation killed it dude killed
it best five minutes i've ever done today we have dan price and i think well thank you for
having me and thanks for feeding us oh yeah yeah thanks for coming home was good pulled
work was good you guys talk i'm gonna take a nap especially because you look like you shouldn't
be okay jj been going ever since i rose it on that one time i said one joke you lit the fire
ma salaam alaikum moonshine ping pong hell yeah hell yeah hell yeah why don't you tell us about
that a little bit uh yeah it's just an informal uh sketch comedy collective just trying to put a
rapper around uh some group work that we're trying to do collaborating on sketch comedy yeah yeah i
went to uh you know one of the meetings and you guys were on it sierra's sitting there she'll type
everything up wow yeah i can see that yeah right so sierra is a part of it uh sierra moses uh alex z
jaelin has been a part of our uh idea sessions for since the beginning uh people have people come and
go sci-fi um brice a couple of the guys you've had on the show so really just trying to give people
a space to come up with creative ideas we're we're good on creative ideas we just have to turn it and
execute yeah just you know just shooting it just do it yeah exactly just do it the stuff you've
put out so far is really good yeah it's well shot well directed the validation station ones
no yeah the sierra jaelin yeah you i liked all of them that actually happened really quickly we
collaborated on that idea and shot it same day it was uh it was really quick so those are the best
ones yeah yeah yeah we me and dom one time do you remember when we tried to write that sketch
we're like let's film a sketch and we came and we just could not get anything on it was the word
was it is like taylor swift we were trying to use taylor swift lyrics in and like make it like we
had just killed somebody like it was something wild like it didn't make it we didn't make no sense
we didn't shoot anything we didn't get one piece of footage but then after that we shot bluetooth
oh yeah it just was so fun yeah no y'all sketches are great it's good is there gonna be sketch on
this show too oh yeah yeah horseshoe showdown yeah this is the horseshoe show yeah so we don't we
don't get to see this stuff we have we have no idea so today's the showdown yeah it's the
championship okay all right all right christmas day coming early that's good on december 25th
the exact day so so you're an 80s baby yeah 70s baby 70s baby yeah 80s toddler and beyond
okay okay okay give me what was your shows in the 80s oh 18 100 yeah the dukes of hazard which i
don't know if that holds up am i okay with dukes of hazard oh yeah look at me dude you're okay with
dukes loved i love it love dukes of hazard uh if i'm honest golden girls oh i watched that one with
my grandma taught me everything i know about sex and relationships yeah she was a loose one
blanche was naughty and it explains why i still have a thing for uh wealthy older men
anything by that guy uh donald p bellisario you remember him he was uh he was at the a team he
was also quantum leap he had like several shows that were like that i loved all of those adventure
shows from the 80s magnum pi all that stuff yeah fantasy island oh yeah fantasy island was big
that was that was a very strange show like that was more 70s than it was 80s and i don't think i
my head had quite wrapped around what i was watching there but yeah fantasy island was great
boss the plane the plane and then yeah it was uh that was good and the uh what was the other one
that was like fantasy the love boat was at the same time it was about a cruise ship and it was
like the the recurring cast of characters was just the ship's crew and then every week they would have
uh guest stars would be on the cruise and there was always some drama so it would be like all it
was a vehicle for all of the studio actors at abc or whoever had the show oh wow that was one that
i got to watch and i don't saturday night live i was like not allowed to watch it but i would sneak
it uh whenever i could saturday live the carson show uh-huh it's muppet show was awesome hey saturday
night live you've been watching you still watch yeah i still watch yeah yeah i still do too they
a lot of people like to say it's uh gone downhill but i sometimes they have good ones yeah you know
sometimes but it's it's always been like that yeah even whenever you like will ferro and all that
went on it wasn't like everyone was like our podcast true some are better than others yeah
that's never the guest fault it's always always yeah yeah we we lost camera uh sorry sierra i think
i just think what they do every week is magic hey you know they go from a brand new person shows
up on monday to producing a live show on saturday that's phenomenal well-oiled machines yeah yeah
exactly honed over decades exactly and some of the hosts like you said some of those really get it
yeah they're totally in ryan gosselin oh dude one of probably my favorite snl post yeah yeah the
papyrus bit i love i love that's my favorite one i know what you did and at the end like he plays
along with it like he actually did fuck everybody over i love it dude yeah that's it made me laugh i
was looking for fonts for sci-fi as i skipped and i seen papyrus i almost did it but it didn't fit
oh hey speaking of that speaking of fonts i got you guys something for the wall oh shoot oh shoot
took a little time to try to figure out a font solution since the actual font was not available
oh oh shit oh shit what is it shut the fuck up
with lethal weapon three oh this is crazy dude get the fuck out of here you are crazy
that's what the picture was for yeah yeah i thought we were getting sold on wayfair
oh my gosh yeah so i've been thinking about you guys reminded me of some movie poster and i
couldn't figure out what it was and i was going through and i was thinking it was like maybe
tango and cash it was something and then i i hit me and i was going through i was like oh it's
it's freaking lethal weapon you guys are lethal weapon i'm danny glover dude thank you dude
and i love your back to the future so i think it kind of goes with the movie theme oh my gosh
man so yeah thanks for thank you so much i love i love what you guys are doing here damn man you
shut the fuck up dude i cannot believe this shit damn i look good oh my god yeah you guys all look
good you guys all look you're right you guys all look fine you like a jaw sucking a tummy tuck and
shit well jj half of your hair in that picture is actually mel gibson's hair so oh please need to
own it man oh yeah dude and i have similar views as well damn thank you man that's awesome dude
jack yeah hell yeah so bad oh that's so tight damn thank you dad that's how i see you guys just so
you know that's wow you blew sierra and nico out of the fucking water with that one and my work here
is done crazy you guys i'm just kidding we appreciate all your gifts brandon needed the helmet
you know yeah and we're gonna and we're gonna sell that sierra moses original it all works out man
oh i'm back dude that took me i don't even know it that how do you follow that i don't know dude
that's trying to follow him on stage there's just no hope right yeah that's ridiculous there's no
hope that's ridiculous see dan was the guy who went on after we talked about last episode uh when
me and you bomb and dan is good so it's always worse when you bomb and then somebody does really
good you can't blame the room anymore wait where was that i don't even remember that yeah
no it wasn't it was at the show it definitely wasn't in fat sammy's because nobody did worse
than me at fat sammy's the other night where was it where was it which show at homegrown at home
okay oh yeah oh yeah we ate it dude we really ate it yeah and you know that was there you came in
and got the room back that was my job i had to get that yeah yeah that was jonathan silver has
a gun in my head i have to give him a hot audience so that's my my job but you know we're shaking
that up going forward we're shaking that up so i'm gonna start hosting to try to get people
riled up and then give you the the hot i lost my job no i don't think that's the way to do it
i don't think that's how to look at it at all it's gonna be my first time hosting anything
oh shit yeah so there you go but you're doing a 10 minute spot and hosting which is a pretty
pretty hefty plate dude that is right well i get 10 minutes to get them fired up for you
that's what i gotta do so dang man wow that's that's a that's a hard spot it's like two minutes of
public service announcements two minutes of random crowd work that'll probably flop
and six minutes of tried and true that's where i'm at speaking speaking of crowds at fat sammy's
is that 10 is that 10 two and two and six yeah okay okay yeah brandon would have said yeah
whatever number you say yeah that's it is it yeah about right at fat sammy's somebody heckled you
man oh yeah yeah yeah but she has tourette's so it's okay what'd she say right what didn't she say
what didn't she say it was the what it wasn't what she said it was it when she said it was exactly
in the middle i had some stupid opener where i'm like hey i really want to talk about procrastination
but maybe now's not the time that's the joke but that pause is essential i have to have the pause
so the way the joke went was hey uh i really want to talk about procrastination go fuck yourself
and then i was i was lost after that and shame on me for not having a better response i could have
packed it in i there's any number of things i should have done but uh that's got to be the
the work for the future let's figure out how to deal with that yeah on the fly stuff i mean i would
not have been prepared for that either don't need i mean she hit charlie with a soul crushing heckle
is shenanigans i mean yeah and she's she's actually really funny like her stand-up comedy stuff is
good i saw her a couple of nights ago at carson elmore's uh show out in decatur okay yeah so i
was encouraging and her name is min and i was like hey min you're really funny i would love to see
you come out you should come out and make us better comics by heckling us true and she thought i was
serious about that part and i should have been prepared i was not at all prepared she totally
took me off off track completely she took it to her dude whenever we everybody was off stage and
we're shaking hands and stuff i go to shake hands with it i'm like hey you did you did you did really
good up there she said fat bitch oh my god i was dying i swear to god i was like well you know i
know you got to rest but doesn't make me feel any better that wasn't the only person to call you a
fat bitch that night either was it dumb you know it wasn't when i went up to her i was wearing these
shoes i love these they're uggs i just bought them paid way too much for them but she was like are
you oh yeah dude really i'm balling like this come on comfortability does not have a price
i don't know those things are those things are hideous by the way can you lift that back up
that back up like whatever amount of money you spent was too much if it was a nickel
i loved it i love it dude i love it it's like something how much have you spent on it
it's like 118 after tax well but that's because you have confidence in your style that's amazing
i could never well i can never see my style is purely comedic i'm not trying to look good
i have a mullet dude i'm committed to this shit well mission accomplished y'all wear phone posits
what nobody does phone posits watch a look at dan like dan has no clue what a phone posits is
penny hardaway was his basketball player he's gonna love it what the fuck i'm not even sure
the words that you're using phone posits but they're ugly to me really i love it oh i remember the
weather man i had those i sold okay real cheap okay yeah yeah i've seen those i've never worn
them oh my god the fine china's in the weatherman's that was the shit when i was in the seventh grade
thank you for that reference i would have never remembered that i regret it i shouldn't have sold
them for 50 i've never been in the shoes you in the shoes then uh not not really like you know i
like um i like a good shoe that feels right looks good in the right situations but like if you're
gonna spend money on a shoe i can't i know this answer is it gonna be a loafer or you know a dress
shoe if you're gonna spend good money on it or is it gonna be a tennis shoe or a running shoe yeah
no no so i have uh so ola kais are are a little more expensive that you gotta pay for those
and i wear ola kais for like uh show you know like on stage because they're cool sneakers and they
feel great and they're amazing so i you know i'll spend money on that but otherwise yeah if i'm
gonna spend money it's on a dress i'm gonna dress you yeah not the way it should i'm not a loafer's
guy not a loafer's guy you don't think you could pull him off no it's easy to pull off a loafer
that's the whole uh i see what he did with that one yeah yeah that's that craftiness
everybody pinkies up for comedy
yeah no i i like yeah i like the security of a lace up i like something like have you ever hit
somebody with a humvee did you ever hit anybody with a humvee and watch their shoes fly off no
it's crazy so i just i like lacing lacing them real tight i think you just admitted to a war
crime on a full-on friendly fire did you ever run over somebody no never kill somebody innocent
no dude no never kill somebody innocent it's a it's a thing in a comical fashion
sneakers fly up and get wrapped around the telephone pole some things you can't unsee
oh so you went around i mean you went around the world well i mean america on the amtrak right
yeah like half of the country half of the country i did just a yeah a couple of couple months ago
yeah for 30 like 30 days right no it was like two weeks two weeks okay okay okay because i was
following you on twitter i was following i was following your stops and then i just stopped i
couldn't i couldn't keep the twitter game going for that i know yeah you were updating really fast
like what was what was give me some good stuff to happen on that oh my there were so many weird
things that happened on this so just so everybody's uh up to speed so i i bought so okay let me back
up i had a period from march until late september where i didn't have a single day without a deadline
at work my day job right so it was killing i mean like fourth of july weekend i was still
working on deadlines i mean it was just i was beat i had to step away so i had a i'd seen this thing
amtrak has a 499 the usa rail pass so you can get on and off the train 10 times and
that's it you can go anywhere but it's always in coach and you can do anywhere that amtrak goes you
can go uh you know 10 times you get on the train and off so i started going up the i got on in
birmingham and then we went up to like raleigh where my sister lives i saw her dc i got some buddies
that i saw up there uh did a work thing there i went to new york city went up the hudson valley
which was amazing buffalo i'd never been to upstate new york went around to chicago uh saw some
friends there had never been up to the top of the sears tower the willis tower got to do that got
a got to go out on the uh i did yeah i did a little glass the glass thing oh it's edge yeah yeah and
i'm scared of heights too so i made i made myself i made myself you got you got to um and then went
as far as minneapolis and then i did a i went to acme comedy club that was the highlight yeah um
um so i was either going to go to minneapolis or i was going to go to quebec
it'd be so there's a whole backstory about quebec but there's a reason i got to go back
to quebec at some point but anyway i chose to go to his other family to minneapolis
no other family and he stopped in washington to vote in the real election i don't make enough
money for the one family i do have i'm not there's no other family living off living off of this money
the amtrak family as he calls it yeah well you know that is a real thing i feel like those guys
a lot of those guys are still part of me uh but that dude the train is different man when was the
last time you rode amtrak for a long distance i mean i was young i mean probably like 12 or
something like that yeah anybody anybody y'all what is the amtrak let me see okay so you know how far
did you go in 2009 we went from brimingham to dc and then back down okay yeah so so one of the
things is different right on a plane like you know exactly where you're going you're getting on flight
1493 from you know huntsville to atlanta and then atlanta to boston or whatever you know it's just
you know specifically what's going to happen on an amtrak you're just getting on today's crescent
right and so you don't know like if you're going to if you're trying to get off in some stop like
lynchburg tennessee or like lynchburg virginia you're like wait does the train go does the crescent
go through there or do i have to like you have to have a map to go with your bookings to make that
work and so like if you're trying to make your way to a specific place it's it's funny man
everything's non-specific the trains just exist whether you're on it or not trains going nobody
nobody cares you know um the conductors will put people off in the middle of nowhere like if they
don't like how you're acting or whatever they just put you off the train in the next stop and they're
like sorry you got to figure it out and some of those stops there's nothing oh damn some of the
stuff yeah it's it's amazing it's a whole different world they're not in the customer service business
they do not fuck around on amtrak yeah like as a grown man i've been yelled at
maybe five times in my life and three of them were on that amtrak like actually yelled at by another
grown human being i'm like where are we right now so that that run from uh birmingham to to
greensboro north carolina was that it was a the southern train i mean it was just everything about
it was like slower and like you know no communication and dirty and people didn't really care and then i
took like a spur over to raleigh and then got on a different line and the other line was all east
coast so it was different people talked faster moved faster they communicated with each other
and then by the time you got to new york everybody knew the deal because they ride trains all the
time so then everybody was quick quick quick but even still amtrak makes it a total mystery so you
don't know what track you're boarding the train's boarding now nobody knows where you know and you
know it will leave without you nobody cares so it's just it was a fascinating experience but i loved
it i loved it that is exactly why we lost the civil war we don't know technology man dude 100
oh man and then the poor people that were like so the train arrives in birmingham and it's heading
north right which means it started that morning in new orleans so everybody's getting off all hung
over and bleary-eyed because they'd been partying in new orleans all weekend and you know half of
them are just it's the deep south you know so lots of people are just not in shape you know they're
not the five straight up steps that you have to navigate to get off the train they weren't able
to do it like people with huge heavy bags and knees that didn't exactly bend you know and then
like that one swollen diabetic foot that's not in a shoe anymore and just kind of limping and the
conductors are like hey we are not in the customer service business so you got yourself up there you
got to get down and it's like nobody helping him and like seriously the lady fell right in front
of me twisted her knee like kind of back behind her and she was screaming in pain and the conductor
rolled her eyes like happens every day you know it's just like what is what is happening right now
yeah and it was like the ego death like so the first 24 hours on the train all of my sense of
like self-pride and ego was just dying it's just being flayed and then we you know i finally get
off that train and then i had become accustomed to like living in coach and following the rules
and being yelled at and life was good after that it was good you were institutionalized on the
mk yeah 100 that's right i was i was morgan freeman by the time we got off that
i was like get better living or get better died carved in the back of the wasn't sure i was
gonna survive on the outside that's right that's right oh my gosh man but i mean traveling not just
like across the country but international you were telling me once that you were in a place that had
like it's like in somewhere in where europe borders asia but it's like a bunch of white redheaded
muslims what hmm all right so wait i'm thinking about this yeah maybe i misremember this conversation
there's a very white redheaded muslims you had me same here was i telling you the story i'm trying
to think of where that would have been this is when i interviewed you uh we're oh we were talking
about uh we were talking about macedonia yes okay so yeah so macedonia is in the balkans but it was
the furthest um it was the furthest east that the ottoman empire had come into europe aside from the
fact that they were at the gates of vienna for you know famous uh pushing the tide of the of the um
you know the the invasion of europe back right so the gates of vienna there was a kind of a big
thing but anyway so dom just pretend like you know what he's talking about you know that's what
i'll get it i heard him go yeah the invasion of europe yeah the important thing dom is that
you're here now and we're brothers so it's okay now it's okay you know they came from germany you
win some you lose some that's what i know uh yeah yeah yeah so in yeah so in macedonia
uh or the country's gotten north macedonia now um and it's like north of greece but it's in the
balkans it's tucked away in this corner kind of near albania and croatia and um you know uh bosnia
okay yeah that whole area the powder keg dude yeah yeah right in the middle of all that area
and yeah and so it's it is uh historically um ethnically albanian culturally and you know
religiously muslim in the one corner of it but the whole country is sort of both right so yeah it's a
really interesting it's a really interesting mix and there was a there was a mosque there in the
middle of the city from like the 1300s um you know right across the street from a you know
like a kid's bookstore that was you know selling harry potter books you know it's kind of just an
interesting interesting thing i went to a church called macedonia okay i think they were jehovah's
witnesses were they that sounds greek orthodox well it was black people's oh yeah okay i don't
know what they were but they weren't regular church right it wasn't it wasn't like baptist
or something like that you know what i'm saying regular people it was something regular people
we can't do this up there i'm kidding i assume this is the segment we're cutting
the godfaring christians
no i i respect everybody's tradition that's that's interesting but i mean and you know like the
apostle paul was moving around all over there so from like thisel and nika that was that's in
turkey now to like that whole area macedonia he was moving around preaching and when you go to
um the capital city of scopia they've got a huge golden statue of alexander the great on a horse
which is kind of their thumb in the eye of greece because they're like yeah i'll be like
the greats our guy and so they had this whole battle with greece and that's why they have to
be called north macedonia because greece was blocking them in the un calling themselves
macedonia it's a whole it's a fascinating region of the world all former yugoslavia
oh yeah yeah wild stuff man yeah cultural conflicts yeah and those seem a lot deeper than
the ones that run here you know fascinating everybody in that city smoked everybody like
just hardcore and it was children it was winter it was like january february yeah oh yeah kids
smoked old people smoked they looked it was like national geographic i mean it was like
just hardcore like you know everything was covered in snow people sitting around and like the
communist party headquarters was across the street from the hotel that i was staying in
and this was like this had been like the circle the traffic circle there had a statue of tito
who had been like the communist leader of yugoslavia during the day so these guys were like
hardcore you know commies like has nothing to do with the vodka by the way dom so what were they
smoking oh just like turkish turkish tobacco cigarettes yeah yeah cigarettes but like inside
everywhere every restaurant every bar inside the taxi cabs inside the hotel yeah my mom's from
germany she said she she stopped smoking at 12 she started when she was eight right swear to god
oh same same time smoking at 12 yeah yeah and the germans have a lot of influence there
like a lot of influence that like a lot of the guys who were there spoke german that was kind
of the european language to speak if you wanted job opportunity out of there
look you learn something new every day here all the time i know i sure do yeah that's why
people tuned into the comedy podcast i'm not sure what it was i'm not sure what it was
tuned into the comedy podcast to learn about the basidonia dance very loose grasp on geopolitical
history everybody likes comedy likes that shit yeah we should caveat this by saying like i know
nothing about what i'm talking about like i go to play i am it's never stopped me from talking
about it but i literally have no idea what i'm talking if you're on this show it's assumed that
nobody knows that's right that's good all right making noise so you went to uh we found as you
went to a mic dressed up as wilson from i did from uh castaway yeah yeah and then the mic was
canceled yeah yeah that's hilarious i did and so i there so it was right around halloween last year
and uh i went to this mic it was the mic was at otbx back then we had a mic there
and i thought everybody was gonna be dressed up it was like the night before halloween or something
and i came out and i had my face was like painted like a like a uh like a volleyball with the hand
print on it and i had like grass sticking up out of the top in a headband the headbands had wilson
on it and i had written a whole like six minute bit as wilson talking about this really bad breakup
i had with this guy that i had this romantic relationship with in the islands and you know
like it was so amazing we lived right by the beach and the air and it was so amazing and then one day
he left and he wanted to go sailing and we got across the waves and then and then i fell off the
boat and he wouldn't come save me and i was calling out for him and he just he cried but he sailed off
somewhere else and i've never seen him again anyway it was uh yeah i don't i haven't read that bit in
a while but i was so excited to do that and then it was just canceled so i'm just standing on the
street in the middle of like downtown huntsville dressed like a volleyball with no place to go so
i went and did my bit for the lady at the uh drive-through line at taco bell and made myself
feel better can you do it again like one day i would like to see that yeah the problem is like
when you see the picture it's a little dicey like the you have to know that that's a red handprint
because oh yeah i didn't even think if the lighting's not right on that one that that's
sure kind of that looked a little problematic it'll be inserted there
so i promise you my whole head was white i had the grass sticking up out of the top
uh it was brutal but yeah i'll do it someday i'll do it yeah yeah that's gonna be good that was
that was early days in my uh comedy career how long you've been doing stand-up uh a little over
a year i'm in my second year see that's that's fucking bat shit crazy yeah you want to come see
a paulist fucking comedian and gassed the fucking jokes and i yeah i thought i even i know you told
me before but i could have sworn it was over i thought you said like three years well i lied to
you just because i wanted to get on the podcast early so missing a con with jokes on you i know
you know so i like that's me doing stand-up so i've obviously done i did theater i had a job at like
the jungle cruise for a while when i was uh between high school and college and that was like stand-up
all the time right and by the way best job i ever had to this day best absolute best job i've ever
had so um i've always loved it but my life just took a turn for a while and i was focused on other
stuff yeah hell yeah yeah yeah so i've always and i was looking back through some stuff i've been
writing jokes kind of constantly like in the margins and and that kind of stuff for a while but
um see like you're uh i just started doing it this is an example it doesn't matter what age you are
you could be 21 20 45 36 how do you uh yeah 46 okay i took a year off all right well yeah because
in my on stage i say 45 because i there's one point where i'm talking about i'm halfway to 90
and i i don't want to get into the numbers you know so i may as well just leave it at 45 for a
while i'll be jack benny until i'm 50 well yeah man and you came in you're smack and you just did
your first first uh pay gig at stand-up live is that your first one or maybe i'm wrong about
yeah first book show at stand-up live first book show at stand-up it's a big deal real close yeah
that would know it was exciting it was very exciting oh hey thank you that's more applause
than i got at stand-up life hell no no no you did real good it was uh it was a joy to see
and i would like to say this i texted dan i said hey man how was how did stand-up live go i received
10 paragraphs i i loved it i loved it but i hope you know you go so above and beyond more so than
if i would have texted dom it would have been not even a sentence it would have been like a phrase
been like it was good i was drunk it sucked like something like that yeah my my first draft of
anything is the wordiest version of anything you could ever see i like lengthy thought you know
stuff and it goes on for way too long so that's what i'm that's my brand no you dropped wisdom
it's my brain drop drop some gems he was telling me about this experience he had with an older
native american man on a trail somewhere i was i was mesmerized it all ties together yeah it did
yeah well the and the point of it is that there's no one show there's no one moment where you ever
arrive right we're just on the journey we're just on the process yeah but you got your milestones
that you you know you set for yourself like everybody you got to set your milestones and
you just hit one i'm had to have right yeah no that was it was exciting it was really exciting
it's a big scenic view yeah and it was and it's definitely something that i'm really um thankful
for here in huntsville that there's a scene that now there's kind of a path where guys like scott
eason and the folks that stand up live are creating a space for local comics to get on stage
there's a sort of a i don't know if it's a pipeline but there's at least a process to get on stage at
the open mics and then get on stage uh for the the local showcases and to you know really kind of
see that room in different from different perspectives is great it was it was huge
yeah that is dude i just geeked out about the green room yeah i was wondering i was wondering
don't don't tell too much about it i took a i took a run it to be a surprise let me just say
there's sugar-free red bull in the fridge i know free yeah well i didn't know where to put any
dollars so i was free oh i think it was free oh damn that's big that's big time yeah no it's a
it was a good green room yeah and and signed on the wall with all kinds of cool people that have
been through there yeah it was it was good it was meaningful hell yeah it's awesome and seeing you
in the audience was fantastic hell yeah i had to come see it man i heard it was your guys' first
time and i was yeah oh man i'm there and it was fucking amazing like the whole night i stay i
stay for scott uh and then all of the the showcase i didn't stay for the hairliner because i had to
get back okay yeah but all you guys did great man it was fun there's a pretty fun room too
it was a fun it was a fun room smaller crowd that night yeah but man and and it's always amazing
how you really can't see into the darkness but when you do see somebody you know you see them
and i like i told you i was so glad to see your five head shining in the lights out there man it
was amazing i was like all right i can at least there's one guy i can play too that was good
yeah yeah man speaking of uh uh did you know southwest is giving um more room to plus size
passengers i did not i did not know that are you excited about it i i these are the things i don't
want to know about frankly why would you say that to him though he's talking about five heads
yeah i dude i don't ever want to need to know that but i'm sure it will probably come in handy
at some point yeah see i bet they give you a hard time about getting on the plane
why oh yeah you know what but i have never got searched oh randomly selected not never
one time randomly select right they're like he's sweating but we know why they just come on through
yeah that's the same thing
this is day two this is the second episode i'm getting verbally abused here no not at all man
i'm sitting here sweating on your podcast so hey i mean brandon sitting right over there
can you sweat this is the guy i turn the ac on a 66
it's comfortable you guys ain't comfortable no yeah it's comfy it's fine i'm as comfortable as
i ever am yeah that's i don't know oh yeah what you got jj yeah so you got a whole list you got
some backstory here i know yeah we got a lot your deep your deep research scares me so we may as
well just pull it out what do you got no uh steel throwing stars and nunchucks i'm not exactly sure
where that one is headed yeah what what what about that oh well that was written down sometimes our
intel guy just puts stuff on there and we just have to figure out what the fuck well dude all
right so if you grew up in the 80s man you were into ninjas i don't care like if you were if you
liked you know action sports you were into ninjas it was a huge thing in the 80s and the ninja
turtles was my my jam and uh like i found a couple of throwing stars at a garage sale and i always
had my own money because i had a job since i was 10 and i yeah bought those throwing stars but
the thing is when you buy the throwing stars they're never sharp so that was a problem but
we had like a vice grip and you know all the stuff in the garage that we needed so i filed that stuff
down and they were sharp my stuff was ready to go you never know when you're gonna need the throwing
stars but i had it and i was good man i could like flip flip you know put them into a tree do
whatever had to happen can you can you do nunchucks right now if somebody gave you a set i could
probably fake the funk a little bit yeah but i would also i can't do the even the hit thing
you may as well just you know open up epic fails submission portal because that's where that video
is probably gonna end up going but yeah i know i had legitimate wood nunchucks with the swivel
in the chain this was the kind of thing if you were 13 and you had wood nunchucks you were you
know nobody was gonna mess with you and nobody was gonna take that away at school either like
that wasn't so i finished high school pre-columbine so nobody had an issue with people that had weapons
at school it was just like you shouldn't right but i remember a guy in school had a rifle at school
wow and they just made him go put it in his truck and like leave it in your truck for the rest of
the day because they knew he had it because he'd gone hunting and he didn't want to leave in the
truck because he didn't want to get broken in yeah yeah my dad told me a story where he had to do a
speech and it was like a speech in his public speaking class and he did how to clean a rifle
yeah and he just walked in the school with it nobody said a word that's right and that just blows my
mind well back in the day you have to worry about people for the i mean it was it was mass shooting
in schools that's just one thing i mean it happened occasionally you'd hear somebody
like with a beef coming to school because you wanted to settle the beef right and every now and
then you'd hear that but it wasn't it wasn't but that was like a hit almost you know like it was
like they're coming to kill that one person people might get shot and uh being around them but this
is like people just going in there like oh i want to kill innocent people today blows my mind yeah
yeah no i mean we definitely had we definitely had explosives and firearms and part of science
projects all the time he said explosives yeah like no i did i did a science project on like what makes
an explosion work and talk about like the expanding gases and all that kind of stuff and i had like a
little video of me like you know setting off fireworks and blowing things up you know like
if you drop a firework in water how it explodes differently than if you just throw it on the
ground or put in a can or whatever i feel like you definitely had like an anarchist cookbook
i did yeah i remember downloading that in college when i found out about it and i was like just
sitting in like the engineering lab or the computer lab at college because we didn't all have our own
computers in our rooms yet like this is the big transition but i remember like oh this is a thing
and i found on the internet and i printed it at the printer in the computer lab in college and had
that thing for a while it's probably still in a box somewhere in my house but it was like the the
the diagrams and the graphics and that thing were garbage so i wouldn't recommend it wow so we have
this here sitting here on the table but aren't you uh endorsed by captain morgan yeah that endorsement
has run out tell us about tell us about the captain the captain the captain got me through
college so i um i signed up for a modeling and talent agency in college because i've like i said
i've had a job since i was 10 always need a little extra money money was tight in my family
so i signed up for a modeling and talent agency but obviously you've seen my face so that nobody
called for a while and uh eventually i got a phone call one night it was on like a friday night
and they were like hey um we've got a job tomorrow but some people dropped out we're really in a
bind could you be there tomorrow at 9 a.m on a saturday and i was like dude i'm there and they
were like it's like 12 dollars an hour which back then the minimum wage was 425 so i'm like yes
i'm in so i went and did like a full day's work for 12 bucks an hour doing like i forget what it
was it was something very minor like handing out um free samples of gum that like promotions
companies would come to so then i moved up on their list and what ended up happening was i was the
guy who would always pick up the phone so it didn't after a while it didn't matter how i looked i
became like all reliable exactly exactly i just became the kind of the weird looking guy who was
easy to work with and always showed up and i just did what i said i was going to do i was never a
problem for anybody and then seagrams came out and they were doing like a multi-week promotion
in new orleans to um right around the launch of their whatever their version of malibu rum was
so it was like called i don't know it was like coconut it was like captain morgan's coconut
parrot bay parrot bay that's it parrot bay i still have a bunch of parrot bay uh chachkis and stuff
in my uh memory box yeah so uh so i showed up and they're like how tall are you and they're like
perfect and so i was captain morgan at like all these bars around new orleans all these bars
around the friends quarter like going like going to people with if you've ever been in a bar where
somebody's handing out free shots that's what i was doing yeah it was fantastic dressed to the gills
though dressed to the gills paid 15 bucks an hour amazing just escorted around and then i had like
pirate girls that came with me it was it was okay hey you a big ball yeah and then i got tips in the
gay bars that was the most hell yeah i made money that that makes you feel dance is twirling yeah
he takes the feather off his hat like tickles him with it absolutely man whatever it takes
oh i hear you i mean i hear you it was great yeah yeah and so the lesson is be easy to work with
do what you say you're gonna do if you if you take a job show up at the job and just be the the person
everybody wants to hang out with and you get the work there were always people better looking than
me more talented than me whatever just be the guy that is easy to work with so that's what i
that's what i took away and be available yeah yeah championship teams need role players dude
yeah yeah yeah that's right central that's right so i'm like grunk yeah yeah grunk
mike tyson man i'm more like a tight end like you don't think about me until blocking tight end
yeah i'm a blocking tight end that's exactly what i am what'd you say oh i feel like mike tyson i
mean he's you went a little you went a little different way yeah it doesn't pertain it's not
a team sport oh well then and he's also maybe the world's greatest fighter that ever lived yeah i
mean there's also that i'm not in mike tyson territory i'm more in like it's a great compliment
i'm more like i'm more like riddick bow on the olympic team that's that's where i'm at
oh yeah well first of all you only have been doing it i can't i still can't believe it's only been
doing for two years and when you guys go out and see them i mean you're gonna see refined you're
gonna see we're perfect good shit like a single malt whiskey yeah oh and if you're if you're
stand up he's been through the charcoal he just learned that you're welcome you're welcome that
was the pre-game lecture yeah i have to teach people stuff so i remember it i come prepared
with all kinds of stuff that has nothing to do with comedy whatsoever i just talk about scotch
no well first of all i appreciate that and uh it's true that i really have no idea what i'm doing
so i i just i'm very aware of how little i know but does anybody know i just put my head into it
all right in this game does anybody there's no there's no formula i don't know there's some
people there's some people here that really have a knack for how comedy works what's funny they
have an intrinsic instinctive i think nico's one of those guys jaylen brown jaylen sci-fi those guys
really it feels effortless when they're up there they're just playing with the audience
oh yeah yeah and they're doing material too oh yeah true i learned a lot i i take a lot of notes
just watching other people do their stuff yeah yeah so that's why you got any advice for that
because you know this is clown college so what would be your advice this is a learning institution
dance good advice first of all but uh you got one piece of advice you want to give like somebody
who's an open micer or uh who's maybe thinking about coming out and oh yeah yeah don't wait
that's i mean if you take one lesson away from me don't wait jack i talked to you about this forever
there's no reason to wait it's not going to be perfect it can't be perfect right so you may as
well just get out there and start getting better and don't let perfect get in the way of just doing
it i think that's that's the thing and i i probably waited far longer than i should have you know i was
focused on other stuff in my life so there were some times where i think maybe i should have
started 10 years earlier i don't know if my personal life would have survived me starting
this 10 years earlier i there were some things i had to do to kind of get my own shit together
before i could really move out in that way but if it's something you want to do don't do i mean
there's literally no reason uh that should prevent you from getting on stage the next available mic
you know write a little bit and get up and test it that's what you got to do when everybody goes
home at night they're not going to remember your set no they're not going to think about you at all
and if you go up if like uh like if people go up before me because i don't have the notebook i need
to start bringing a notebook out so i could write yeah because because like i'll laugh at someone
but i'm going to tell them about that at the end but if if you go up before me i'm thinking about
my set you know i'm saying i have to i have to get my set down because you know i don't read on
i'm not going to read my notes on stage even when i have them up there i'm not reading i just use it
as a so i have to practice my set in my head to uh to get it through but if i had a notebook
because i'm still watching but if i had a notebook i can just write down like i'll dance at this
and get and give back more feedback yeah and sometimes somebody will talk about something
that reminds you of something totally else in your life that could be a premise for the next joke so
i'm always jotting ideas down sometimes it's about the things you're talking about sometimes it's
like oh that's funny that reminds me of this other story i need to find a way to tell
that's good right so yeah there's that i think um one of the things is try to try to make it as
professional as you can as early as you can and so professional being try to get off book when you
get up if you have five minutes you should practice enough before you get there to try to get off book
unless it's stuff you wrote that day i mean obviously it's an open mic you have the ability
to you know read from your notes and kind of remind yourself but the process of getting off book
is a professional step forward you have to be off book if you're going to do five minutes as an
opening set on on a show and so getting off book it's a stressor that you add to yourself but it's
a good one because it forces that memorization process it forces the rehearsal process which
is only going to make your delivery better and it forces you to be kind of more in the moment
without that lifeline of a you know a set list waiting over there on the stool so that's it but
that is um i don't judge anybody that's looking at a set list but i think for me that's been a tip
that i got from a comedy class that i took that was something that i've kind of taken a heart like
really try to be off book when you're on stage i like that that one has kind of forced my hand
forced me forward a little faster maybe okay and it gives you time like um do you think it gives you
better it helps you perform better because you know it's a performance too you're telling jokes
yeah but it's a performance do you think that helps you perform better i think so right because
you're not thinking about the stool you're not thinking about whether the set list is on your
phone or it's on a card or however you do your set list um it's it's not there for you to lean
back and look so you have no choice but to look at people and finish your joke in somebody's eyes
and finish your point over here and i'm going to do a set up for you and i'm going to do the punch
line to you and if that i think just that pattern changes your delivery and your performance quicker
i i mean that's just what i've seen for me for me again asterisk i have no idea what i'm talking
about yeah right this guy's good too trust me just go see him yeah see him everywhere you you do you
do uh your producer on homegrown co-producer co-producer on homegrown yeah that's what jonathan
silver said i am so i'm taking it hell yeah he said he said that so i wouldn't leave um i think uh
yeah so this is a really cool thing that jonathan silver did so uh the homegrown comedy show has
been in huntsville for 11 years plus now um it's the second longest running show here in huntsville
11 years a long time for a show to go on it's a monthly show lots of different producers matthew
tate was a a long time producer uh roy harrison was a producer i don't know who was before those
guys because i i haven't been engaged that long uh so jonathan inherited he called me one day i was
in i was in uh maryland on on a business trip in a staples parking lot waiting for a proposal to
finish printing because that's the the dark side of my life is just the uh mindlessness of my of
my job um i'm kidding i'm you know i'm helping somebody no matter what i do anyway so i'm sitting
in a staples parking lot and jonathan calls me and he's like hey what what do you think about a
residency which is kind of a funny idea right you know like there's always the vegas residency
and he's like would you be in ours and of course this is jonathan's consummate salesman selling me
on the idea of uh being part of the monthly lineup every month for homegrown he's like what do you
think about doing a residency where every month you're on homegrown i was like i'm i'm in and i
told him i was like okay so my my starting uh you know pay is a thousand dollars a set
but we can negotiate from there an industry standard and he was like i was thinking about
like nothing guaranteed but tips what do you think about that i was like i'm in we'll let's
we'll do that um and that's been fantastic so that's every month the second friday of every month
in the same place the speakeasy is straight to ill you've been on it you've been on it it's i
think this has um real potential to you know obviously keep going and to build uh kind of a
following of people that know that we're there and and come out on a on a repeat basis so i'm
excited to be a part of it and thankful to you know to have that and it's forced me because i've
had some weeks were really good and i've had some sets that i was not excited about how they went
i made some mistakes and then have to come back the next month and be like okay it's now or never
we're going to fix this we're going to live with the shame of last time um as a tattoo and it's uh
it's been a good process of learning how to get back on the horse and uh jump back in there oh
yeah for sure the the last the last homegrown taught me that going up there when you hosting
bomb pretty much bombing the host set and then having to get back up every time to bring up
somebody new i mean it really makes you think like do i want to do this you have to want to do it to
be able to bring yourself back up there you did good too didn't he whenever uh because you you
know the first the set didn't go good but you got him back with the joke about me and then at the
end uh about don't beat your wife or whatever no go go buy a drink cheat on your wife yeah cheat on
your wife okay you got yeah but i mean that that even though it wasn't necessarily a great set that
i did i value that just as much as i would if i like killed the show just because it teaches you
something you know i dan me and you we talked about this on a different homegrown show like
you feel yourself going up there and like growing as a comedian in real time because you're like oh
shit like growing like a starfish like you just had your arm chopped off and it's you know it's
gonna grow back because you're a starfish but ow it hurts right now because the shark got me
and everybody knows dude everybody knows oh man there's no worse feeling it's a public shame but
you know it's being able to bounce back from that really makes you think do i want to do this
and forcing yourself to go back up there and continuing to do it i mean that's what the
process is hell yeah well that i tell you that i mean i think that's the quiet genius of having
kind of the same crew on the same show month after month is that it's you you're not just doing it
for you you've got other people relying on you have no choice but next month i gotta get back
up and i gotta do better yeah because i don't want to turn over an audience that's not hot
to the next guy so i got people depending on me to do better next time i can't walk away i can't take
my ball and go home i can't cry in a corner for too long i need to rewrite my shit and do it better
next time all right dude i just don't remember that you said that i forgot i went up to dame
before the show that we that we both bumped i was like hey don't worry about it i swear to god
i was like don't worry about it i got my end joke's gonna get him right for me i swear to god i said
that yeah you also said i might run over a little bit famous last words yeah oh my gosh oh shit
that's when i hear my mom in my head my mom was great for like quoting scripture at me
and like in a way that was like helpful but also not what i needed i could have used a hug mom
you know but she would sit back and she was like in this case she would say well the bible says
pride goeth before destruction and a haughty spirit before a fall and i would just be like
thanks i really don't need to hear that now i mean i've already fallen i just i lived it yeah i'm
very badly burned my legs are broken so all right dan that's the end of the podcast okay uh what
we're gonna do right now well first of all thank you for coming yeah of course thanks for having
conversation also was this good yeah perfect did we talk about anything worthwhile oh no no no no
what happened this is great see these are the episodes with cherish i blacked out i blacked
out completely black label black label black person but what do you say black person black person you
said black label i like black person i see what you did there bernie quick that's not that's not
even how i see you now that you mentioned it i realize thank you yeah i didn't even notice
before i know man it's hard sometimes over the phone i wouldn't know oh yeah over the phone yeah
no yeah on the radio they don't know oh no they think i'm probably bobby codwell see that's
reverse nobody thinks you're fucking bobby godwin thanks for coming dan you're welcome anytime but
these are these are the episodes i cherish because uh like jaylen's this is going to help people
because this is what the show is about people who like are just interested about inner workings
or they want to come out and do it and i think you you might push somebody to come out and do it
dude well i mean if there's any last thing i could say if you're thinking about coming out come out
the huntsville comedy scene right now is collaborative it is open it is welcoming
there's not a lot of um dickheadery happening right now there's not a lot of douchebaggery
it's really kind of an open scene just come out any of the shows go to shenanigans uh go to uh the
boxcar mic on sundays hell yeah go to any of the shows that are happening any of the jonathan silver
mics or the mics that are happening at mad malts uh it's all of the sammies fat sammies yeah it's
all an open welcoming set and failure is not only tolerated it is expected and encouraged because
we all get another reason to laugh at you sometimes we're just laughing at each other yeah that's okay
that's okay too that's okay too all part of the process yeah all right well now what you're gonna
oh first oh we almost didn't say thank you again for that fucking beautiful uh and we're getting
it framed oh yeah and that is going to that shit goes we're painting the whole wall that's going
to be smack that in the middle oh my god come on that is so bad again i got this like that is wild
man i gotta watch that movie now yeah i gotta watch it today like the weapon three yeah that's
joe pesci in the middle right oh that's my favorite character man yeah that's right well actor that's
my favorite actor one of joe pesci yep that is bad ass y'all look great y'all are great thank you
so much and also that's nice in this camera right here anything you have to promote it'll be on the
screen right next to you man i don't think i've finally gotten to a place where there's really
nothing else uh on my docket for a minute um so the homegrown comedy show second friday of every
month we'll be back in uh january i'm gonna be doing a show for um the night camp uh comedy show
on february 16th at i think it's at shenanigans and uh i'm available for booking anytime and uh
you know hopefully some point i'll be opening for somebody at stand up live but more to follow just
follow me social media at dan price ink ink any social media platform except tiktok because i'm
not legally allowed to put that on my phone yet but we'll solve that later at some point
uh but anyway that's it and i i've got a website um dan price dot ink so that's it and moonshine
ping pong oh yeah right and moonshine ping pong which is obviously for 2024 where we're going to
be putting some effort and uh hoping the uh the collaborative effect of that with sierra moses
and sci-fi and uh carson and anybody else that we can get engaged in that jalen uh we're looking
yeah absolutely ashland alex z anybody that wants to come along we it's an it's an open clubhouse
we want everybody to be a part of it and uh good ideas are welcome in the morning merrier
oh yeah yeah perhaps maybe yeah anyway all right thank you thanks all right