1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,560 This week on Clown College. 2 00:00:04,560 --> 00:00:11,800 You look like you have some interesting opinions on Israel Palace College. 3 00:00:11,800 --> 00:00:16,360 I can't fuck with this. 4 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:20,120 If you lived over there, you could probably sneak in either way. 5 00:00:20,120 --> 00:00:21,120 I wouldn't. 6 00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:22,120 No, I wouldn't fuck with it. 7 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:23,360 I wouldn't go over there looking like this. 8 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:24,360 You shouldn't. 9 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:25,360 Oh yeah. 10 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:26,360 They might think you're a third party. 11 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,360 Exactly. 12 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:31,280 They'd be like Hamas and they'd be like Haagen-Dazs. 13 00:00:31,280 --> 00:00:34,280 Yeah, I'm coming hot. 14 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:37,280 I'm coming in hot. 15 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:43,000 Yo, sometimes when you put that little ramp on you, I like it but you look like Big Boy 16 00:00:43,000 --> 00:00:44,000 with the burger chain. 17 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:47,000 We gonna leave that here. 18 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:50,000 That was fucked up, man. 19 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:51,000 That's funny. 20 00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:55,840 But hey guys, so we want to say thank you guys for watching and we want to do a little 21 00:00:55,840 --> 00:00:56,840 good way, right JJ? 22 00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:57,840 Hell yeah. 23 00:00:57,840 --> 00:00:58,840 Hell yeah. 24 00:00:58,840 --> 00:00:59,840 We love giving back to the community. 25 00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:05,680 So look, what we're going to do in the comment section, just comment with the best roast 26 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:11,680 of anybody who was on this episode, this particular episode, and we'll come together as a Clown 27 00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:12,680 College crew. 28 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:17,040 We'll pick the name of who we think had the best joke and whoever gets the most votes, 29 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:19,440 we'll win a $25 gift card on the Christmas episode. 30 00:01:19,440 --> 00:01:22,000 So is it us or is it the commenters? 31 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,000 The commenters. 32 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,000 Oh, so y'all get to win. 33 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:25,000 They get to win. 34 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:29,160 JJ, he looks like my cho-man Randy Savage after he caught AIDS. 35 00:01:29,160 --> 00:01:31,840 Alright guys, but that's it. 36 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:35,160 Comment with the best roast and your Cash App or Venmo. 37 00:01:35,160 --> 00:01:36,160 Heck yeah. 38 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:38,160 Also, like, comment, subscribe. 39 00:01:38,160 --> 00:01:39,160 Good plan. 40 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:40,160 Please. 41 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:41,160 Thank you. 42 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:42,160 Best podcast out. 43 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:43,160 We like it. 44 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:44,160 Gang. 45 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:46,400 This is the Clown College Podcast. 46 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:50,040 We're just a couple open micers trying to make our way through the scene. 47 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:53,880 Where we interview comedians throughout different stages of their comedy career, no matter if 48 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:57,560 they're open micers, headliners, or traveling comedians. 49 00:01:57,560 --> 00:01:58,560 I'm here too. 50 00:01:58,560 --> 00:01:59,560 Jamie 2.0. 51 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:01,240 I just talk a lot more. 52 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:02,240 Damn it, Brandon. 53 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:06,520 Go sit in the corner. 54 00:02:06,520 --> 00:02:07,520 Welcome back. 55 00:02:07,520 --> 00:02:08,520 How you guys doing? 56 00:02:08,520 --> 00:02:09,520 Doing good, doing good. 57 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:10,520 Feeling phenomenal, dude. 58 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:11,520 Glad to be here. 59 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:12,520 Doing good. 60 00:02:12,520 --> 00:02:13,520 Doing good, Brandon. 61 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:14,520 Is there somebody else here? 62 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:15,520 What's going on? 63 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:17,200 Yeah, dude, we got four-some. 64 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:20,360 We upgraded the Fantastic Four. 65 00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:21,800 Those don't usually go well for me. 66 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:27,520 Yeah, when you're the cameraman, it's pretty rough. 67 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:30,440 I like to be a narrator during group sex. 68 00:02:30,440 --> 00:02:33,160 See, you're not the main guest, so I'm not going to introduce you. 69 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:34,160 Introduce yourself. 70 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:35,160 Fair enough. 71 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:38,200 Yes, y'all, I'm Charlie Fisher. 72 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:40,240 Maybe we'll be switching to Charlie Swisher. 73 00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:41,600 I can't decide on that. 74 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:42,600 We'll talk about it now. 75 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:43,600 We'll talk about it. 76 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:44,600 Charlie Swisher. 77 00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:48,680 I need to talk to your later guest about it, because he goes by a pseudonym, so I feel 78 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:49,960 like he'd have advice on that. 79 00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:52,160 Well, I don't know, I'm not familiar with the culture. 80 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:54,120 Maybe that is his real name. 81 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:57,320 No, but glad to be here. 82 00:02:57,320 --> 00:03:03,120 Yeah, first off, thanks, y'all, for putting the Huntsville scene out there and everything. 83 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:04,120 It's pretty cool. 84 00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:05,120 Of course, man. 85 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:06,120 I don't want to. 86 00:03:06,120 --> 00:03:09,600 We're trying to, and this guy right here, this is my dog, Charlie Fisher. 87 00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:14,760 When he gets on stage, if you guys see him, just in for a good time. 88 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:15,760 Hell, yeah. 89 00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:19,480 I never want to say anything anymore, because there was one time you were on stage and you 90 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:21,400 were like, does the crowd have any topics? 91 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:22,400 And I tried to help him out. 92 00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,000 I knew he had a joke about headlights. 93 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,000 I was like, headlights. 94 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,240 And then he said the joke and it bounced. 95 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:28,680 It was bounced so hard. 96 00:03:28,680 --> 00:03:29,680 I love that joke. 97 00:03:29,680 --> 00:03:30,680 Yeah, it went terrible. 98 00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:33,560 Yeah, I think it got too repetitive or something. 99 00:03:33,560 --> 00:03:37,520 Well, actually, I remember when you did that, I was like, I don't know why, but I was like, 100 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:39,840 I'm going to try to be really angry about it. 101 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:42,240 And obviously, I don't come off as the angriest guy. 102 00:03:42,240 --> 00:03:45,560 So when I tried to do it, it was just kind of like, oh, I guess he's a little irritated 103 00:03:45,560 --> 00:03:46,560 right now. 104 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:47,560 I don't know. 105 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:48,560 I didn't sell it, for sure. 106 00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:52,840 You also changed the tag from nuclear fish and you said binary fish. 107 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:53,840 Oh, I did. 108 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:57,960 I was like, single celled organisms reproducing themselves. 109 00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,520 That has nothing to do with headlights. 110 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:00,520 I remember. 111 00:04:00,520 --> 00:04:02,080 We have a very intellectual crowd. 112 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:05,160 Yeah, too smart for my own good, man. 113 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:06,160 I don't know. 114 00:04:06,160 --> 00:04:08,160 No, I remember hearing it back and going like, binary vision. 115 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:09,160 What the fuck am I talking about? 116 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:10,160 No. 117 00:04:10,160 --> 00:04:11,160 Yeah, I fucked that one up. 118 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:16,120 But yeah, I used to do a show and it was an open mic at Athens where you would do, it 119 00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:17,960 was, you know, everybody does their five minutes. 120 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:21,840 And then at the end, you would go up and do a minute and the crowd would just, like a 121 00:04:21,840 --> 00:04:22,840 minute to two minutes. 122 00:04:22,840 --> 00:04:23,840 Of crowd work? 123 00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:24,840 Of crowd work. 124 00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:26,520 But you would, the crowd would just shout out topics. 125 00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:27,760 So I stand up on the spot. 126 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:28,760 Yeah. 127 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:29,760 Yeah. 128 00:04:29,760 --> 00:04:30,760 Stand up on the spot. 129 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:32,840 But you know, only one to two minutes, you'll only go through like two or three things. 130 00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:33,840 And I was really liked it. 131 00:04:33,840 --> 00:04:35,080 I always felt like I would do good at it. 132 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:36,080 But I've tried that. 133 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:37,600 That's not the only time I've tried that here. 134 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:39,680 It has gone terrible every single time. 135 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:44,440 I'm like, I don't know what happened, but I just, I just bomb as soon as I do that. 136 00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:48,120 But yeah, also maybe it's like knowing now that crowd work is like a thing. 137 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:51,720 Like then I, that wasn't even like really in my, yeah, exactly. 138 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:54,520 Fuck you, Matt Reif. 139 00:04:54,520 --> 00:04:56,320 Not everybody can be hot. 140 00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:57,320 Yeah. 141 00:04:57,320 --> 00:04:58,320 That's some shit. 142 00:04:58,320 --> 00:04:59,320 Brandon, how you been? 143 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:00,960 Man, Brandon's been doing good, man. 144 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:04,680 I've been just hanging out, trying to live and trying to not be broke. 145 00:05:04,680 --> 00:05:05,680 Yeah. 146 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:06,680 Yeah. 147 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:07,680 I'm trying, man. 148 00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:08,680 That's life, dude. 149 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:09,680 You were the star of the last episode. 150 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:10,680 Hell yeah. 151 00:05:10,680 --> 00:05:14,000 And it's arguably our best episode and you were the star. 152 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,640 That's my alter ego, Rick, man. 153 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:20,120 So whenever you see me with that wig, just know it's not me, it's Rick. 154 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,480 I love how you go so distraught over saying nigga. 155 00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:23,480 I know. 156 00:05:23,480 --> 00:05:24,920 I can't say that. 157 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:25,920 Dedicated to the character. 158 00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:26,920 I was too much in the character, man. 159 00:05:26,920 --> 00:05:27,920 Like I was so deep. 160 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:28,920 I was like, man, then that nigga. 161 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:29,920 I was like, ooh, Brandon, no, you can't, I got black friends. 162 00:05:29,920 --> 00:05:30,920 And I was like, what the fuck am I talking about? 163 00:05:30,920 --> 00:05:31,920 Nah, I'm good. 164 00:05:31,920 --> 00:05:36,920 Kind of, kind of like another white guy dropping the anvil. 165 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:37,920 Oh, yes, dude. 166 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:40,920 That's, that has to be the craziest open mic I've ever seen. 167 00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:45,560 That's, that has to be the craziest open mic I've been to thus far. 168 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:48,920 It was the craziest two minute span of any open mic ever. 169 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:49,920 It was great. 170 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:53,400 I don't want to, I don't want to ruin it because it's who you have on later, but he said something 171 00:05:53,400 --> 00:05:54,400 about it. 172 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:59,040 He was, he was like, uh, somebody saying the N word in the crowd was like Haley's comment. 173 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:02,440 Like I heard it, like I knew it was going to happen at some point and like, and then 174 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:04,000 he finally saw it that night. 175 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:06,280 No, that was, that was great. 176 00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:10,880 Uh, yeah, I was so nervous to go up that night, but luckily some of it was like a lot of, 177 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:12,920 like, you know, the more we do, the more we learn. 178 00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:15,920 Like the room matters so, so much. 179 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:18,920 And like that, I swear I would have bombed except for all that happened. 180 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,520 I was like, good, now I got some shit. 181 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:23,200 Like, I was like, now I have something to talk about. 182 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,880 But finally somebody did it. 183 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:26,880 Tell them what happened. 184 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:33,840 Um, well, a guy who's done standup, like a couple of times, only ever does it at that 185 00:06:33,840 --> 00:06:34,960 open mic. 186 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:37,440 He went up there or he wasn't even on the stage. 187 00:06:37,440 --> 00:06:38,440 No, no. 188 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:39,440 Our guest for today, sci-fi. 189 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:42,560 Sci-fi got jokes to give him his full name. 190 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:43,960 He was on the stage performing. 191 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:45,840 It was towards the end of his set. 192 00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:47,400 He is a black man. 193 00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,240 He said a joke that involved the N word. 194 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:50,520 Oh, I'll say that part. 195 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:53,640 He said, uh, look at this nigga in the cowboy hat. 196 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:54,640 What Dom said. 197 00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:56,720 So he said, look at this nigga in the cowboy hat. 198 00:06:56,720 --> 00:07:00,880 And what did the, this other white guy, you can't say that part either. 199 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:03,280 This other white guy in the crowd was like, it was his friend. 200 00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:05,760 He said, oh yeah, look at this nigga in the cowboy hat. 201 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:10,840 And everybody just was like, no, I saw, I saw it. 202 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:16,000 And then I started looking around because I need to gauge how to react. 203 00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,680 Cause I can't be the first to react. 204 00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:20,240 You know, what's crazy is I was in the bathroom when that happened. 205 00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:21,680 I didn't hear it happen at all. 206 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:24,240 I walked out and the whole room was different. 207 00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:26,440 I was just like, I knew something had happened. 208 00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:27,440 So I like walked out. 209 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:28,440 I don't know who I asked. 210 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:29,880 It might've been you, but I was like, what just happened? 211 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:34,040 And you were like, oh, this dude just said, we were right next to each other because, 212 00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:35,880 what happened next? 213 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:36,880 Oh yes. 214 00:07:36,880 --> 00:07:38,880 Oh my God, dude. 215 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:39,880 Another newer comic. 216 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:43,760 I think it's the second time I saw him go first. 217 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:45,480 I was like, that was a pretty good first time. 218 00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:46,480 Shout out Charles. 219 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:47,480 Yeah. 220 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:48,480 Charles hood was his name. 221 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:50,600 I was like, damn, that's pretty, that's Charlie Swisher. 222 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:51,600 Charles hood. 223 00:07:51,600 --> 00:07:53,360 He's occupying the same territory. 224 00:07:53,360 --> 00:07:54,680 We need to get this guy out of here. 225 00:07:54,680 --> 00:08:00,040 He doesn't look like a Charles skinny, skinny white guy with big glasses. 226 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:01,040 Yeah. 227 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,480 Like, uh, you almost got a beatle. 228 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:04,480 Yeah. 229 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:07,240 You actually, all except glasses, you completely described me. 230 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:10,080 Uh, he's got, he's definitely got a Beatles look going. 231 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:11,080 Uh, yeah. 232 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:12,080 Paul McCartney. 233 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:15,080 But he goes, no, John Lennon. 234 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:16,080 Oh, John Lennon. 235 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:17,080 Yeah. 236 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,080 Yeah. 237 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:19,080 Definitely more Lennon. 238 00:08:19,080 --> 00:08:22,320 Uh, but he goes up to the stage again. 239 00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:23,840 It's the second time going up. 240 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:27,400 Alex has kind of addressed the, the, who's the host has kind of addressed. 241 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:28,400 He got a little mad. 242 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:29,400 He got a little mad. 243 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:30,400 He was muted. 244 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:31,400 And that's not the end of that either. 245 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:32,640 We'll come back to that, I guess. 246 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:39,000 But this guy, this new guy goes up first step, catches the edge of the stage, falls flat 247 00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,000 on his face. 248 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,880 I mean, the most perfect fall, I thought he was doing it on purpose. 249 00:08:42,880 --> 00:08:46,040 It was such, it was such a, I didn't know if it was part of the bit. 250 00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:50,720 No, it was, I mean, I've never, it was such a movie fall. 251 00:08:50,720 --> 00:08:52,360 He fell like what? 252 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:53,360 Maybe four feet. 253 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:54,520 Like it wasn't that far at all. 254 00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:59,480 He just fell from standing up to the ground, but it looked like he hit terminal velocity 255 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:03,680 and just like plummeted and fucking like Felix Baumgartner from the stratosphere slammed 256 00:09:03,680 --> 00:09:05,440 into the stage. 257 00:09:05,440 --> 00:09:07,240 He didn't, he didn't put his hands out. 258 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:09,000 He went face first. 259 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,400 He did not defend himself. 260 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:11,680 He ate the fucking floor. 261 00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:13,960 He just absorbed with face and body. 262 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:14,960 Yeah. 263 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:17,280 It was, it was, and then, and then didn't mention it at all. 264 00:09:17,280 --> 00:09:19,840 Immediately just got on the mic and started talking about bees. 265 00:09:19,840 --> 00:09:21,440 Y'all like honey bees? 266 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:22,440 Yeah. 267 00:09:22,440 --> 00:09:23,440 Oh my gosh. 268 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:24,440 I remember him. 269 00:09:24,440 --> 00:09:25,440 Yeah. 270 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,440 Yeah. 271 00:09:26,440 --> 00:09:29,000 And when I almost fell too, I gave him that curse. 272 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,000 Did you do that? 273 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,000 Yep. 274 00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,000 It's a real effect. 275 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,000 Yeah. 276 00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:38,080 I mean like he is new, cause now I know if something like that happens, you have to address 277 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:39,080 it. 278 00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:40,080 He beasted it. 279 00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:41,080 What do you mean? 280 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,080 He stayed in the pocket. 281 00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:43,080 He stayed in the pocket. 282 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:46,240 He stayed, but I feel like you have to mention if something like that, you have to be like, 283 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:48,640 you have to let us know what just happened. 284 00:09:48,640 --> 00:09:49,640 Cause I grabbed Charlie. 285 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:50,640 Oh yeah. 286 00:09:50,640 --> 00:09:51,640 I was, I couldn't stop laughing. 287 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:52,640 Like I was crying. 288 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:53,640 What the fuck? 289 00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:54,640 There's no way this just happened. 290 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:59,640 I was standing next to me and I looked at him and I was like, dude, what the fuck is 291 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:00,640 going on? 292 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:01,640 He's like, I don't know. 293 00:10:01,640 --> 00:10:03,840 There was just a tornado of energy in the dark. 294 00:10:03,840 --> 00:10:07,920 And Alex was still on the stage and Alex was standing there just looking down at him. 295 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:12,120 He straight up like publicly shamed him, pointed out at him and it was like, hehehehe. 296 00:10:12,120 --> 00:10:15,680 It was crazy dude. 297 00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:19,520 I feel like Alex can hit that like bully sidekick laugh too. 298 00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:21,640 That laugh is iconic. 299 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:24,880 Once it speeds up, you in for it. 300 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:26,880 You have a good one. 301 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:28,560 Oh, that was a great fucking night dude. 302 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:29,560 Yeah, that was wild. 303 00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:33,080 And then that guy though, uh, I'm like, I don't know if he's going to come back or not. 304 00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:37,480 He said his, his parting words to me and Jaywin were that he was not coming back, but we'll 305 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:38,480 see what happens. 306 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:39,960 Cause you guys were over there talking to him for a while. 307 00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:41,040 So it was like a long time. 308 00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:45,600 It was me, Jaywin and Alex standing there and he comes up and I forget what he says 309 00:10:45,600 --> 00:10:47,800 at first, but Alex just gets straight to it. 310 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:50,880 He's like, Hey man, if you're going to do that and bring that energy in here, like I 311 00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:51,880 don't want it. 312 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:52,880 You don't do it. 313 00:10:52,880 --> 00:10:56,720 And like Alex, I mean, he's y'all saw he was like heated, heated, like this guy and, and 314 00:10:56,720 --> 00:11:00,200 the dude starts going into the whole, like w we can't even have a conversation about 315 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:01,960 a bot and Alex just gets up and leaves. 316 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:02,960 Yeah. 317 00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:03,960 But now, but now he's like, yeah, exactly. 318 00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:07,320 Good for, I was like, yeah, that, that, I mean, I already liked the Alex, but you know, 319 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:10,600 that made me respect him in a different way other than just like this comedy shit, you 320 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:11,600 know? 321 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:15,680 Uh, but now he's just with me and Jaywin who like, I mean, people think I'm laid back, 322 00:11:15,680 --> 00:11:20,800 but like Jaywin, I mean, so now this guy is going off. 323 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:24,400 Like, kind of raging at two dudes that just do not care. 324 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:27,960 Or just like, I'm just being like, Hey man, just don't stress it dude. 325 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,680 Like, I don't know why I thought the angle that would make sense to him. 326 00:11:30,680 --> 00:11:33,080 I was like, look, it's Alex's show. 327 00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:34,680 If he says you can't do that, you can't do that. 328 00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:39,200 But he was on some moral thing about like, you know, when he was repeating stuff, I don't 329 00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:40,200 even know. 330 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,200 It doesn't even fucking matter. 331 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:45,200 His reasons, but it was just like, I was like, they let him go up after that. 332 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:46,200 No, no, he's still going up. 333 00:11:46,200 --> 00:11:47,200 Yeah. 334 00:11:47,200 --> 00:11:49,040 First two minutes of his set, defending his actions. 335 00:11:49,040 --> 00:11:50,040 Yeah. 336 00:11:50,040 --> 00:11:53,280 He never, he never, he did stand a bit because he never said, Oh, my bad. 337 00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:55,120 No, no, he never wants to apologize. 338 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:56,120 I was repeating. 339 00:11:56,120 --> 00:11:58,120 You guys don't say it. 340 00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:02,600 He start pointing out why guys, you, I know you said it. 341 00:12:02,600 --> 00:12:04,720 I think he thought I was going to be his strongest ally. 342 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:07,280 And then I was like, dude, we don't support that shit. 343 00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:08,640 I told that to him too, his face. 344 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:11,200 He wouldn't even talk to me the rest of the night. 345 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,720 I felt like I was the only one that was pissed about it. 346 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:16,160 And I was like, am I that liberal white right now? 347 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:17,160 That's like, what the fuck? 348 00:12:17,160 --> 00:12:18,640 And nobody else gives a shit. 349 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:19,640 I'm not gonna lie. 350 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:21,040 I thought it was fucking hilarious. 351 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:22,040 Oh, I laughed. 352 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:23,040 Oh yeah. 353 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:26,760 And I couldn't, I couldn't even get over after, even though the, uh, him saying it, like him 354 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:31,520 saying that was crazy, but the fall to me was just so, it was a cherry on top. 355 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:34,120 It was, it was, you couldn't script it better than that. 356 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,560 If you did, you'd be like, okay, you guys are going over the top. 357 00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:38,560 Like no face playing it. 358 00:12:38,560 --> 00:12:39,560 Arms behind his back. 359 00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:40,560 Boom. 360 00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:44,280 Dude, the fact that none of that was on video is a crime. 361 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:47,360 And we, and Jack, he got my set on video. 362 00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:49,760 I was so happy you got my set too, because I didn't record it. 363 00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:53,560 Cause I told him to record, I told him to record the guy and then like literally he 364 00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:58,600 recorded before, before and then after, but we didn't get that part. 365 00:12:58,600 --> 00:12:59,600 Dang man. 366 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:00,600 That sucks. 367 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:01,600 That was a gym, man. 368 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:02,680 If we can't write down. 369 00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:05,760 And I told him, I was like, I was like, here, I'll follow me on Instagram. 370 00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:07,200 We're going to talk about you this week. 371 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:10,160 I just want you to know that he's cool though. 372 00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:11,160 Yeah. 373 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:12,160 Yeah. 374 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:13,160 Yeah. 375 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,160 Yeah. 376 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,920 Always a little bit of funny energy, but whatever, you know, but it was funny that when, when 377 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:21,080 me and when he was talking to me and Jaylen, like at this point, we kind of were his only 378 00:13:21,080 --> 00:13:25,000 allies because we're letting him vent to us about this and we're both just being like, 379 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,760 chill out about it, dude. 380 00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:31,280 And he, and then like within that conversation, he turns on us and he's like, neither of you 381 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:32,960 guys have said anything productive. 382 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:34,640 You're just too stupid to understand. 383 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:35,640 Oh, sorry. 384 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:37,000 God, he said that. 385 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:41,480 Dude, if he comes back tonight, I don't know why he would always said that. 386 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:42,480 Yeah, he did. 387 00:13:42,480 --> 00:13:43,480 It was broken. 388 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:46,480 I'm putting two separate things here, but I mean, it was in all in the same conversation. 389 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:47,960 And he's like, y'all haven't said anything. 390 00:13:47,960 --> 00:13:50,920 And I was like, I mean, neither of you, dude, I mean, you're the one that just said the 391 00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:54,360 N word, like, you know, like, I don't know what's so productive that you're doing, but 392 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:55,360 I don't know. 393 00:13:55,360 --> 00:13:57,360 Me and Jim were just like, all right, whatever. 394 00:13:57,360 --> 00:13:58,360 And that's when he finally did. 395 00:13:58,360 --> 00:14:01,560 Oh, well actually his, I don't know if it's his girlfriend or just a lady with him, but 396 00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:04,240 she eventually came and was like, Hey, we have to go do it. 397 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:08,040 Like she saw that we were like, you know, Oh, those are the two girls. 398 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:09,960 We went to me and Jake went to moody Mondays. 399 00:14:09,960 --> 00:14:10,960 Oh really? 400 00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:11,960 Yeah. 401 00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:12,960 Yeah. 402 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:13,960 Cause we hung out with him like the week before. 403 00:14:13,960 --> 00:14:15,760 Oh, so then after all this, Oh, that's right. 404 00:14:15,760 --> 00:14:17,160 Cause they were talking about Moody's now. 405 00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:18,160 I remember that. 406 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:19,760 And then they came, he came up, he was like, Hey, you want to go to Moody's? 407 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:20,760 I'm like, no, man. 408 00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:25,320 I don't come to ask me because this was after you guys had talked for like, wasn't that 409 00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:26,320 like an hour? 410 00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:28,800 It was a, it was a, it couldn't have been that long. 411 00:14:28,800 --> 00:14:31,600 I feel like like 20 minutes, but it felt long though. 412 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,000 Cause I kept on looking over there. 413 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,320 I'm like, I wonder what they're talking about. 414 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:38,600 I did kind of feel bad too, because I guess one of his friends went up for the first time 415 00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:40,200 and I just made fun of his set immediately. 416 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:44,480 Cause he was talking about how he makes women come on a dirt bike and like, I don't know 417 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:49,880 what it is, but like, I'm not, you know, uh, I do like self-deprecating shit. 418 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:52,720 So if you're going to do the opposite of that, I'm going to make fun of you. 419 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:54,040 Like that just is what it is. 420 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:55,960 And also this dude's vibe was crazy. 421 00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:56,960 Yeah. 422 00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:57,960 Yeah. 423 00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:02,000 The cowboy hat decided to sit down on the, on the stage, not even on the, not even. 424 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,000 Yeah. 425 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,000 Yeah. 426 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,000 And it's your first time going up. 427 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,000 I'm like, all right. 428 00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,000 I was like, yeah, I make bitches come on my dirt bike too. 429 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,520 What'd you about to say, Brandon? 430 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:14,200 Charlie, were you there when that dude said the inward at fusion also? 431 00:15:14,200 --> 00:15:15,200 Uh, at fusion? 432 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:16,200 No, no. 433 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:17,200 The old dude, right? 434 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:18,200 No, no. 435 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:19,200 It was another dude that was young. 436 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:20,200 I've heard about this one. 437 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:21,200 I know what you're talking about. 438 00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:22,200 I was not a fusion that one. 439 00:15:22,200 --> 00:15:23,200 What happened? 440 00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:27,520 Well, so he went up to me and uh, Dante and we were, we were real cool from everybody 441 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:31,520 was talking and then out of nowhere, he said, yeah, man, you can't go down to a rack. 442 00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:32,520 Cause I was talking about Komer. 443 00:15:32,520 --> 00:15:33,520 So I was like, I can't go down to Komer. 444 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,520 He's like, yeah, they got signs saying stuff like stay away, nigger. 445 00:15:36,520 --> 00:15:40,840 And then as soon as he said that me and Dante were like, what the fuck? 446 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,800 And then Nico in the back, you know, he don't play that. 447 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:45,000 He's like, Hey, Hey, we don't do that. 448 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,920 And he was like doing the same thing. 449 00:15:46,920 --> 00:15:50,200 The other dude was doing, I thought I was just reading the sign. 450 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:52,000 Like, no, man, no, it's better ways. 451 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:53,000 Right. 452 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,000 Yeah. 453 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,680 I ain't that guy to be saying this is open mic. 454 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:56,680 You're not that guy. 455 00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:59,520 I mean, you better be like on some top tier level. 456 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:00,520 Exactly. 457 00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:03,360 And still, and still, even then it's a fine line. 458 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:05,640 Well, I guess this just happens all the time actually. 459 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:09,520 Cause there was also where any of y'all there at shenanigans with the Asian girl with Tourette's. 460 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:10,520 Yeah. 461 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:11,520 Oh yeah. 462 00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:12,520 And she also dropped it eventually. 463 00:16:12,520 --> 00:16:14,760 It took a long time for her to get there. 464 00:16:14,760 --> 00:16:16,760 But she also dropped it. 465 00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:19,960 And you know, I guess it just happens apparently. 466 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:20,960 She's occupying a funny territory. 467 00:16:20,960 --> 00:16:21,960 She has an excuse. 468 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:22,960 She's Asian and she has Tourette's. 469 00:16:22,960 --> 00:16:23,960 But Asians don't like niggas. 470 00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:24,960 You know that, right? 471 00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:25,960 Oh yeah. 472 00:16:25,960 --> 00:16:27,840 Asians don't fuck with black people. 473 00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:29,840 I did write a joke about Asian. 474 00:16:29,840 --> 00:16:31,560 Chinese, Chinese don't. 475 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:37,040 I said to save black Asian relations, fireworks is the connecting point and Dragon Ball Z. 476 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:41,480 But yeah, somebody that wasn't cool that she said that dude. 477 00:16:41,480 --> 00:16:42,960 Jake get your fucking girlfriend. 478 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:43,960 Oh shit. 479 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:44,960 Oh shit. 480 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:45,960 Jake's love. 481 00:16:45,960 --> 00:16:46,960 Come on man. 482 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:50,680 You said you fought her one time. 483 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:54,680 Whenever I was up there, I said something like my mom's a short German lady, that joke. 484 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:56,480 And then he, she says hell Hitler. 485 00:16:56,480 --> 00:16:59,400 And I was like, I was like, well, the salute does start from the chest. 486 00:16:59,400 --> 00:17:00,400 Oh, that's a good one. 487 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:01,400 Which one's worse? 488 00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:03,400 Saying the N word or saying hell Hitler. 489 00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:04,400 Oh, she's, what'd she say? 490 00:17:04,400 --> 00:17:06,240 Something about the Chinese government or go back to China? 491 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:10,760 She kept saying go back to China, which was so fucking funny because she was Chinese. 492 00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:12,600 She's the only Chinese person. 493 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:14,680 I've never seen an Asian person go back to China. 494 00:17:14,680 --> 00:17:15,960 I'm going to say that now. 495 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:17,840 I don't think I've ever seen that. 496 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:19,320 No, it's Alex. 497 00:17:19,320 --> 00:17:20,320 Same. 498 00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:21,320 Oh yeah. 499 00:17:21,320 --> 00:17:23,960 Well, only half of them. 500 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:28,440 No she dropped the F bomb during my, I don't know what I can and can't say. 501 00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:30,560 Otherwise I would have been saying the N word this whole time. 502 00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:31,560 Okay. 503 00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:35,720 No, she called me that in the middle of my set and she hadn't had, I guess it's called 504 00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:36,720 like a tick. 505 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:38,440 She hadn't had one yet, the show. 506 00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:42,680 I just had to like, I just, I immediately heard it and looked at the lady in the crowd 507 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,240 and she wasn't looking at me. 508 00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:46,040 And I was like, who would just shout that? 509 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:47,040 Like not even looking at me. 510 00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:48,040 At shenanigans. 511 00:17:48,040 --> 00:17:49,680 Yeah, at shenanigans where you're not even allowed to say some other stuff. 512 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:50,880 You can't even say are. 513 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:51,880 Yeah, exactly. 514 00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:52,880 Yeah. 515 00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:56,880 And I just, I don't know what, I've never even known somebody with Tourette's, but for 516 00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:58,480 the first time I was like, that's Tourette's. 517 00:17:58,480 --> 00:17:59,480 Did you address it? 518 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:00,480 Yeah, no, I, well, yeah. 519 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:05,240 I was like, I was telling some bit about how I ran for treasurer in high school four times 520 00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:06,720 and lost every time. 521 00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:09,560 And then when I started running for treasurer, she called me that. 522 00:18:09,560 --> 00:18:14,520 And then I was, and I was like, I just know I somehow brought it around to like, I wasn't 523 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:16,160 that, it was the guy I was running against. 524 00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:17,160 It was hilarious. 525 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,600 It's not the treasurer, dude, it's the secretary. 526 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:20,600 Yeah. 527 00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:24,800 The person that just wants to book keep, I mean, she was right. 528 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:30,840 If you're trying to be the financial advisor of your high school class, I mean, you're 529 00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:32,000 definitely a gay accountant. 530 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,160 Like that's what that is. 531 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:37,760 You just want to look at pieces of paper with dudes on them in wigs. 532 00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:38,760 Yeah. 533 00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:39,760 Yeah. 534 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:43,920 Definitely the kid that like dresses like way too nice in high school, you know, like 535 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:45,400 wears like a blazer to school. 536 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,040 Tuck in your fucking shirt in. 537 00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:48,040 Yeah. 538 00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:49,040 Yeah. 539 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:50,040 It's eight 30 in the morning. 540 00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:51,040 I thought that was cool. 541 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:52,040 Treasurer. 542 00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:58,360 I was like, should I start tucking in my shit? 543 00:18:58,360 --> 00:19:01,440 Did you guys ever have a dude in your school that was like, we had one, he wanted to be 544 00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:05,000 a police officer, but you know, he, he was never going to get any, he was real skinny. 545 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,680 We called him boots because he would wear these boots are like this. 546 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:09,600 The souls were like this fucking big. 547 00:19:09,600 --> 00:19:10,600 Those are scary. 548 00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:14,000 And he would always be like, he would like, if you were out somewhere, but Hey, you are 549 00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:15,320 not a fucking police guy. 550 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,440 But he had a crown crown Vic. 551 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:21,200 He had, he had everything like he had like a police officer. 552 00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,200 He's one of the scariest dudes to be honest. 553 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:27,160 Well, he would come to school with a flat, like a big ass flashlight, have a belt buckle 554 00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:28,160 and all that shit. 555 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:29,160 That's crazy. 556 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:33,080 He liked to, and he was just a weird ass dude, but you know, he's armed. 557 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:34,760 Oh, you know, you try to stop people. 558 00:19:34,760 --> 00:19:35,760 You just put it, push him. 559 00:19:35,760 --> 00:19:37,240 He would be the one to shoot. 560 00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:43,800 We had a guy that was, we had a guy, he was in a JROTC and he was like super hardcore. 561 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:48,640 He would sprint every time when the bell would ring for lunch, he would sprint and like we 562 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:51,960 had double doors going into lunchroom, fucking kick him open. 563 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:53,920 He was intense as fuck. 564 00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:57,080 And just the worst, the worst. 565 00:19:57,080 --> 00:19:59,440 Now those are the ones that do cause problems. 566 00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:02,680 Like, you know, the ones that want to be cops in military that bad. 567 00:20:02,680 --> 00:20:04,200 Also, I'm pretty sure they never make it. 568 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,400 I don't think they ever make it. 569 00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:08,200 I don't pass the psych evaluation. 570 00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:09,200 Yeah. 571 00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:12,240 Cause they know too, those, those, you know, the cops in the military, they're like, this 572 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:13,240 guy's fucking crazy. 573 00:20:13,240 --> 00:20:17,560 Like we cannot have him shoot, you know, with this much access to weaponry. 574 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:19,920 Oh no, when I joined the military, they let that motherfucker in. 575 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:20,920 Oh really? 576 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:21,920 It was when the war was hot. 577 00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:22,920 You know what I'm saying? 578 00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:23,920 You gotta get anybody in. 579 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:24,920 Put him on the front line. 580 00:20:24,920 --> 00:20:27,440 Put the Brandon in the front. 581 00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:28,440 He's a martyr. 582 00:20:28,440 --> 00:20:29,440 Just send him out there. 583 00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:30,440 I'm not going to lie. 584 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:34,640 My best friend was like, one of my best friends was exactly like that. 585 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:38,480 Except he wouldn't do the shit because he was like scary a little bit. 586 00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:42,160 So he'd be like, which thank God he's not a cop because look, if you watch him, man, 587 00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:43,160 I'm sorry, bro. 588 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:45,760 You would have probably killed some people with your crazy ass. 589 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:46,760 He was fucking wild, man. 590 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:47,760 He had a temper and shit. 591 00:20:47,760 --> 00:20:52,120 And sometimes he would accidentally slip an N word in there. 592 00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:53,760 So actually white dude. 593 00:20:53,760 --> 00:20:55,120 Yeah, he was white. 594 00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:57,720 Tell me about the one you FaceTime? 595 00:20:57,720 --> 00:20:59,000 No, no, not that guy. 596 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,120 That we all thought was black. 597 00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:01,120 He was FaceTime him. 598 00:21:01,120 --> 00:21:02,120 The white man. 599 00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:03,120 Were you out there? 600 00:21:03,120 --> 00:21:04,120 I think you already headed out. 601 00:21:04,120 --> 00:21:05,120 Oh, okay. 602 00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:06,120 You already headed out. 603 00:21:06,120 --> 00:21:07,120 That was on Wednesday at Fatsy. 604 00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:08,120 He was like, hell yeah. 605 00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:09,120 When we was down there, that was down there. 606 00:21:09,120 --> 00:21:10,120 Fucking that bitch. 607 00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:11,120 And I was like, clearly he's black. 608 00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:12,120 He looked dark around. 609 00:21:12,120 --> 00:21:14,120 He's the whitest guy you ever met. 610 00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:16,120 Brandon said, that's the white version of me. 611 00:21:16,120 --> 00:21:19,280 And I was the first to speak up, dude, because you know, I'm privy to this shit. 612 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:20,880 I was like, that's a black man, right? 613 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:22,480 He was like, no, he's white. 614 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:24,160 And then he FaceTimed him. 615 00:21:24,160 --> 00:21:27,160 He answered and he was like, what the fuck? 616 00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:28,160 That was so funny. 617 00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:31,160 I told him when I got home, he was like, thank you, Brandon. 618 00:21:31,160 --> 00:21:33,160 You got me on the scene. 619 00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:35,160 Because he talked about doing some comedy sometimes. 620 00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:36,160 Time to come out. 621 00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:37,160 I tried to. 622 00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:38,160 Man, he's in a situation. 623 00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:39,160 Let him do a set on FaceTime, dude. 624 00:21:39,160 --> 00:21:40,160 Man, I will, bro. 625 00:21:40,160 --> 00:21:41,160 Actually, you know what? 626 00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:42,160 Fuck it. 627 00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:43,760 If you're watching, man, we might do that one day. 628 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:46,160 I'm going to do a set and then put you on there. 629 00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:47,160 You know what? 630 00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:48,640 I'm going to FaceTime you into the boxcar tonight, man. 631 00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:49,640 Do it. 632 00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:51,640 While I'm at the radio, hell yeah. 633 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:52,640 That would be crazy. 634 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:53,640 That would be crazy. 635 00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:54,640 I'll do it. 636 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:55,640 We going to link, dude. 637 00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:56,640 We might link. 638 00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:57,640 They be like, what you playing? 639 00:21:57,640 --> 00:21:58,640 Play some Moe Lewis for us. 640 00:21:58,640 --> 00:21:59,640 Play some of that Moe Lewis. 641 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:00,640 You don't let them call you nigger. 642 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:01,640 Nigra. 643 00:22:01,640 --> 00:22:02,640 I got to calm down with that word. 644 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:07,640 No, I do not. 645 00:22:07,640 --> 00:22:08,640 People don't like it when I say that. 646 00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:09,640 They get offended. 647 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:10,640 When you say what? 648 00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:11,640 When I say the N word. 649 00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:12,640 They're like, man, Brandon, I know you're black, but that's offensive. 650 00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:13,640 Man, you don't get the fuck out of here. 651 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:14,640 I know. 652 00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:15,640 I know. 653 00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:16,640 I wish a motherfucker would. 654 00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:17,640 Come on, because I'd be waiting. 655 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:18,640 Oh, damn. 656 00:22:18,640 --> 00:22:19,640 Because you know I'm ice scam. 657 00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:20,640 Come on. 658 00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:21,640 I can say it. 659 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:22,640 Shit, bitch. 660 00:22:22,640 --> 00:22:23,640 He's waiting to get tested. 661 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:26,640 It was like my family, man, because it's like old heads. 662 00:22:26,640 --> 00:22:27,640 Yeah. 663 00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:28,640 Old heads. 664 00:22:28,640 --> 00:22:29,640 I'd be like, shit, you an old man. 665 00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:30,640 Well, old ladies. 666 00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:33,960 I've never said it in front of my grandma or my aunt. 667 00:22:33,960 --> 00:22:34,960 Is that a thing? 668 00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:38,000 Oh, I don't say that in front of... I don't cuss at all. 669 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,000 Oh, I don't either. 670 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:40,000 Yeah, yeah. 671 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:41,000 Damn. 672 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:42,000 I lost that. 673 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:43,000 I cannot. 674 00:22:43,000 --> 00:22:44,000 I can't keep my mouth clean anymore. 675 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:45,000 Not in front of my grandparents. 676 00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:48,040 I keep getting in trouble at work, because I just won't be paying attention to these 677 00:22:48,040 --> 00:22:49,040 around. 678 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:51,560 I got in trouble one day. 679 00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:53,800 I guess I'm just launching into a story here. 680 00:22:53,800 --> 00:22:59,360 Our boss's boss took us out to eat, and it was at a Mexican restaurant. 681 00:22:59,360 --> 00:23:03,760 When they came with the check, it was on an electronic thing. 682 00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:04,760 You know how they do that now. 683 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:08,080 It's some ways they come to the table, and it's on a pad. 684 00:23:08,080 --> 00:23:13,720 It said after he paid, it wanted you to rate the waiter, good or bad. 685 00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:15,360 It was just two options. 686 00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:19,480 This guy, the boss's boss, went to hit bad. 687 00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:22,560 He said he was joking around, but he went to hit bad. 688 00:23:22,560 --> 00:23:25,440 In my mind, that's the fucked up thing. 689 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:28,560 He doesn't do it, and then we walk out, and they're like, I've never even seen that. 690 00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:30,360 What happens if you do that? 691 00:23:30,360 --> 00:23:31,360 What happens if you hit bad? 692 00:23:31,360 --> 00:23:32,360 I was like, oh, I think it calls ice. 693 00:23:32,360 --> 00:23:41,080 I'm just on the same shit that I'm on around you guys. 694 00:23:41,080 --> 00:23:44,920 My coworkers are fucking laughing, but the boss's boss doesn't hear it. 695 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:45,920 He's like, what'd he say? 696 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:48,000 They're all like, nothing, nothing, dude. 697 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:52,080 Then one of them fucking told him later, so I got in trouble. 698 00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:56,680 Also again, working in the fucking sewer, I feel like I get to say what the fuck I want 699 00:23:56,680 --> 00:23:57,680 to say. 700 00:23:57,680 --> 00:23:58,680 I don't know. 701 00:23:58,680 --> 00:24:06,000 I just thought the idea was... Why are they even asking thumbs up or thumbs down on the 702 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:07,000 waiter? 703 00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:10,560 I'm like, you hit thumbs down, they just fucking boop, boop, boop. 704 00:24:10,560 --> 00:24:13,200 Get Homeland Security to come around. 705 00:24:13,200 --> 00:24:16,480 In my mind, he was the fucked up one for trying to thumbs down the waiter anyways. 706 00:24:16,480 --> 00:24:18,760 He was the one who tried to call him, dude. 707 00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:19,760 It's not your fault. 708 00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:20,760 It wasn't me. 709 00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:21,760 You just called him out on him. 710 00:24:21,760 --> 00:24:22,760 I'm just letting him know how it works. 711 00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:24,760 Was it the customer's rating them or the worker's? 712 00:24:24,760 --> 00:24:29,240 The customer rates the waiter just thumbs up, thumbs down. 713 00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:30,240 I was a server. 714 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:31,240 I'd hate that shit. 715 00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:32,240 That can be crazy sometimes. 716 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:33,240 What if we get hostile? 717 00:24:33,240 --> 00:24:36,000 One dude's standing like, yeah, go ahead and click you don't like my ass. 718 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:37,000 See what happens. 719 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:38,000 Something like that. 720 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:39,000 Intense. 721 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,000 Right. 722 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:41,000 Yeah. 723 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:42,000 You get crazy in other quarters. 724 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,000 What'd you say, that? 725 00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,080 I said, go ahead and put you don't like my ass on there. 726 00:24:45,080 --> 00:24:46,080 See what the fuck happens. 727 00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:47,080 Something like that. 728 00:24:47,080 --> 00:24:48,080 You know people be crazy. 729 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:49,080 Oh yeah. 730 00:24:49,080 --> 00:24:52,080 I mean, then you just stand up and whoop their ass or throw the chair at them. 731 00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:53,080 I don't know. 732 00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:54,080 Figure it out. 733 00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:55,560 That's how it works. 734 00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,760 That is the white's biggest weakness we've now discovered is the chair. 735 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,760 Yeah, just use the chair, man. 736 00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:02,760 You good. 737 00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:03,760 Montgomery. 738 00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:05,160 What else happened on Friday? 739 00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:07,080 Oh man. 740 00:25:07,080 --> 00:25:11,520 I ate shit on a show. 741 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:15,720 That was my second time ever hosting and I didn't really consider this before, but when 742 00:25:15,720 --> 00:25:21,560 you bomb the first ever set of the night, you have to keep going back up there and they 743 00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:23,040 already don't like you. 744 00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:24,040 Right? 745 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:28,960 So I kind of lost them when about 40 seconds into my three and a half minute set, I talked 746 00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:33,280 about domestic violence and there's been two jokes I've said on stage where I've heard 747 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:35,520 groans, both of them domestic violence. 748 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:39,840 And it's always women going like, oh God. 749 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:42,800 I'll never forget the first time was it shenanigans. 750 00:25:42,800 --> 00:25:43,800 It was, oh no. 751 00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:47,840 And then the second time at home grown, it was, oh God. 752 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:53,240 And yeah, I mean, to be fair, you were saying you don't do that. 753 00:25:53,240 --> 00:25:57,800 Like if I remember the bit right, you're going like, I don't beat my wife. 754 00:25:57,800 --> 00:25:58,800 Yeah. 755 00:25:58,800 --> 00:25:59,800 But I don't know. 756 00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:03,660 People just here beat your wife and I guess get lost. 757 00:26:03,660 --> 00:26:08,000 Not a great association with that kind of activity, but it's okay because after I got 758 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:09,400 off Dom killed it. 759 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:10,400 Yeah. 760 00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:11,400 My ass. 761 00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:12,400 I bombed. 762 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:13,400 I didn't even do it. 763 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:17,080 And like, like he's saying three and a half minutes because you pause, you take an account 764 00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:19,760 laughter and didn't have any. 765 00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:20,760 Yeah. 766 00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:23,840 So it's the whole thing. 767 00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:27,000 When I looked around, I knew in my, I knew in my heart, I was like, there's no way this 768 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:28,720 is five minutes, but I had practiced it. 769 00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:30,800 I did it five times beforehand. 770 00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:33,000 Okay, hold on, hold on. 771 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,280 Let's go back a few spaces earlier that day. 772 00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:37,040 I texted Dom. 773 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:42,120 And I was like, Hey man, like, uh, you gonna be there tonight or whatever. 774 00:26:42,120 --> 00:26:45,200 And he was like, yeah, is it an open mic or a show? 775 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:46,200 And I was a little confused. 776 00:26:46,200 --> 00:26:47,200 I was like, it's a show. 777 00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:48,200 And Dom's like, good. 778 00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:50,080 I don't have any material at all. 779 00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:53,520 And I'm like, you only have to do five minutes. 780 00:26:53,520 --> 00:26:56,080 And he's like, am I on the show? 781 00:26:56,080 --> 00:27:03,000 And we tagged him and he was tagged in every piece of promotional material. 782 00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:06,040 They kept on tagging me and I was like, they must really want me just to help promote the 783 00:27:06,040 --> 00:27:07,040 show. 784 00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:12,280 Dom has like double digit followers. 785 00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:18,360 He's like, man, they must really want me to come support the show. 786 00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:19,360 Yeah, that's what I was thinking. 787 00:27:19,360 --> 00:27:21,080 I was like, yeah, of course I'm going to be there. 788 00:27:21,080 --> 00:27:23,840 Dom brand new to Instagram. 789 00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:25,680 Doesn't know how to operate it at all. 790 00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:30,560 So we started off there and then when Dom gets to the venue, he comes out to me, he's 791 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:32,920 like, yeah, man, I think I'm going to go a little over. 792 00:27:32,920 --> 00:27:34,640 I think it's going to be about six minutes. 793 00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:36,920 Oh, well, I was scared about it. 794 00:27:36,920 --> 00:27:38,280 I'm like, I don't want to go over. 795 00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:40,840 I was like, oh yeah, it's totally fine if you run over. 796 00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:42,800 It's not open, Mike. 797 00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:48,000 It's going to be half minutes on a paid gig and I'm only doing fucking five. 798 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:53,760 To be fair, the whole night was like, as far as like, it was getting better the whole time. 799 00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:55,440 You got it the hardest, JJ. 800 00:27:55,440 --> 00:28:01,360 And then Dom went on and it was still fucking shaky. 801 00:28:01,360 --> 00:28:04,200 I was looking at my notes because I was thinking about how I'd be on this. 802 00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:06,360 I think you had some bit about ice cream that did good. 803 00:28:06,360 --> 00:28:07,480 I don't even remember what it was. 804 00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:11,080 I just looked at my notes and it just said Dom ice cream. 805 00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:13,280 That was at the end when I was like broke people. 806 00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:14,280 I found this dude at Derry. 807 00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:17,280 Oh, yeah, that was great. 808 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:18,280 That was great. 809 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:21,320 And that was finally getting people and then like, you know, Dan brought some energy and 810 00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:22,320 then finally Jonathan. 811 00:28:22,320 --> 00:28:24,240 So it was all good and Jonathan did. 812 00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:26,760 Yeah, they both they both did good, especially for that room. 813 00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:30,720 Because even with them, I've seen the same bits like kill way more. 814 00:28:30,720 --> 00:28:32,200 It was peaks and valleys. 815 00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:35,720 It was peaks and valleys and that whole room was just I mean, it was just uptight. 816 00:28:35,720 --> 00:28:38,600 Like I know we shouldn't put it on the audience. 817 00:28:38,600 --> 00:28:40,160 You know, it's like it's our job. 818 00:28:40,160 --> 00:28:41,480 The jokes kill other places. 819 00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:42,480 Exactly. 820 00:28:42,480 --> 00:28:43,800 I know the shit works. 821 00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:45,480 And so like and I mean, there are people. 822 00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:46,480 Kendall was laughing. 823 00:28:46,480 --> 00:28:49,080 This couple next to me was loving it the whole time. 824 00:28:49,080 --> 00:28:50,080 But I don't know. 825 00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:51,160 There was a room right in the center. 826 00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:52,840 I got a very like very religious vibe. 827 00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:54,800 You know what I'm talking about? 828 00:28:54,800 --> 00:28:59,200 And they eventually two of the girls in the group kind of started to last them. 829 00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:03,480 But they I felt I felt like they were kind of just like sinking everybody in because 830 00:29:03,480 --> 00:29:07,880 they that yeah, they weren't enjoying it, especially anybody that had material about 831 00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:08,880 religious stuff. 832 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:11,480 They particularly were like tightened up about. 833 00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:13,800 I was so confident going into it, dude. 834 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:18,280 I was so confident going to get Sammie's you fucking kill. 835 00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:20,360 And that's especially that's especially that bit. 836 00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:22,240 The HGTV get killed. 837 00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:24,320 They did not like it at all. 838 00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:25,320 I didn't know what was happening. 839 00:29:25,320 --> 00:29:27,200 I didn't know what was happening. 840 00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:31,120 I was like, because to get your clip, I watched the fat Sammy one. 841 00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:35,960 And whenever you say HGTV, I mean, the whole place goes crazy. 842 00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:36,960 Yes. 843 00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:37,960 Yeah. 844 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:38,960 I was going to put it, but we already did. 845 00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:42,480 But the thing is, at the fucking show, when I said HGTV, they started cheering and I 846 00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:45,160 was like, OK, now things are looking up. 847 00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:50,880 I say the first tag and it's like, oh, you still don't like me. 848 00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:55,600 So sometimes I get into a thing with something bonds where I just repeat it again for I don't 849 00:29:55,600 --> 00:29:59,640 know why, for you, it'd be like you're like autumn brass and they don't. 850 00:29:59,640 --> 00:30:01,120 You're like autumn brass. 851 00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:05,640 And they're still just like we didn't like it. 852 00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:07,920 Nobody likes the autumn brass except for me. 853 00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:09,840 I keep it in there for myself. 854 00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:11,320 Was it like an older audience or something? 855 00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:12,320 No, that's the thing. 856 00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:13,320 I don't know what it was. 857 00:30:13,320 --> 00:30:17,320 I mean, there was the old in the middle of the old people, but around the around the 858 00:30:17,320 --> 00:30:19,120 edges were were young people. 859 00:30:19,120 --> 00:30:21,760 I had brought those four girls in and they were young. 860 00:30:21,760 --> 00:30:23,840 They were laughing a little bit on by the bar. 861 00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:24,840 Mm hmm. 862 00:30:24,840 --> 00:30:25,840 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 863 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:26,840 They were. 864 00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:27,840 I thought they were enjoying it. 865 00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:30,840 But I know I know when my sister and I go to go every time if I call Lizzo a fat, I'm 866 00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:34,040 like, if Lizzo can call somebody a fat bitch, then who can? 867 00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:35,040 And I went like this. 868 00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:36,040 I was like, you tell me. 869 00:30:36,040 --> 00:30:39,960 And everybody was just like, oh, no, that's that's too much. 870 00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:43,800 You know, fucking Lizzo. 871 00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:50,080 When you tell a joke and the person you're looking at goes like, yeah, they were not. 872 00:30:50,080 --> 00:30:52,800 That's why I never make any fucking eye contact. 873 00:30:52,800 --> 00:30:55,440 I know it's like advice to like actually look at people. 874 00:30:55,440 --> 00:31:00,160 But I the entire time, like I when I'm on stage, I'm only seeing a blur because I just 875 00:31:00,160 --> 00:31:03,360 don't stop moving my eye because I'm like, I don't want to focus on somebody. 876 00:31:03,360 --> 00:31:07,360 If they're having to if they're not enjoying it and I see that I'm going to tank the rest 877 00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:08,360 of it. 878 00:31:08,360 --> 00:31:12,640 Charlie, your body language on stage, you and Jake are the funniest mother fucker. 879 00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:16,560 Charlie, he picked up the mic, holds it in both hands and he looks like a paranoid schizophrenic 880 00:31:16,560 --> 00:31:18,320 having a conversation with himself. 881 00:31:18,320 --> 00:31:21,080 He walks back and forth and he's like this. 882 00:31:21,080 --> 00:31:27,600 And then Jake would fully turn around and look at the wall behind him. 883 00:31:27,600 --> 00:31:30,360 I've never seen anybody do that, but they'll still laugh. 884 00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:31,360 You know, it's funny. 885 00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:35,160 I've never I'd never seen myself until Jack film that set. 886 00:31:35,160 --> 00:31:36,760 I'd never once seen myself on stage. 887 00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:38,120 I was like, this is crazy. 888 00:31:38,120 --> 00:31:41,200 I record voice recordings for myself, but I've never filmed it. 889 00:31:41,200 --> 00:31:44,880 And I was like, oh, my God, look, also, I noticed that because I do the two hands on 890 00:31:44,880 --> 00:31:45,880 the mic. 891 00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:48,440 Sometimes when I have someone to say, particularly if I'm complaining about something, I start 892 00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:49,440 doing Trump hands. 893 00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:54,040 And like I like and then I go, I don't know what the deal with this is, but fucking, you 894 00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:56,040 know, I love it. 895 00:31:56,040 --> 00:31:57,040 Lights. 896 00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:58,040 Yeah. 897 00:31:58,040 --> 00:31:59,040 Yeah. 898 00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:00,040 LED light emitting. 899 00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:02,520 Do I do when you move like, do you really energetic? 900 00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:03,520 I love that, too. 901 00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:04,520 Like when you move around like this. 902 00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:05,960 Oh, I appreciate it. 903 00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:08,240 I do feel like I've loosened up a little bit physically. 904 00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:10,880 And I think that's a I mean, I think it's a good thing. 905 00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:11,880 I should thank you. 906 00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:12,880 Yeah. 907 00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:13,880 Charlie Fisher. 908 00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:14,880 He's a killer. 909 00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:15,880 Yes. 910 00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:16,880 See him out. 911 00:32:16,880 --> 00:32:17,880 You're going to have a good time. 912 00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:20,640 I was killing me with that something about a vampire to you. 913 00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:21,640 I was like, God damn, hilarious. 914 00:32:21,640 --> 00:32:22,640 Joe Cowers. 915 00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:30,080 He's made my love for pineapples just fucking. 916 00:32:30,080 --> 00:32:32,920 What kind of experiment are you doing with your uncle? 917 00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:35,920 We're going to figure it out in a couple of months. 918 00:32:35,920 --> 00:32:36,920 Got to start drinking. 919 00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:37,920 You want to do it? 920 00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:38,920 Yeah. 921 00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:39,920 Yeah, let's get in. 922 00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:40,920 I forgot we had to watch the. 923 00:32:40,920 --> 00:32:43,920 Yeah, we're going to do a fast clip of the week. 924 00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:44,920 Go. 925 00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:45,920 And we got Charlie. 926 00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:46,920 Charlie. 927 00:32:46,920 --> 00:32:53,720 Now he's just a regular white guy, but he has a Jewish nose and a body of a Holocaust 928 00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:56,720 survivor. 929 00:32:56,720 --> 00:33:01,480 I mean, it's fucked up. 930 00:33:01,480 --> 00:33:02,480 Sierra Moses. 931 00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:03,480 What is she good. 932 00:33:03,480 --> 00:33:06,480 We had it on the pocket at the time. 933 00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:12,880 And then she said, I look like a brown baby Grinch right now. 934 00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:14,200 Yeah, it's fucked up. 935 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:17,240 Doesn't she look like she tells black people that can't fish at a public bar? 936 00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:25,960 And I kept that one in because fuck you, Sierra. Roasted me on stage. I can't write my own jokes, 937 00:33:25,960 --> 00:33:31,960 but my boy can. Nah, dude, but I had to put that in there. Because honestly, that might have been 938 00:33:31,960 --> 00:33:36,680 my favorite roast that you wrote. And also because Charlie, I knew he was going to be on the episode. 939 00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:40,920 That was that when I was writing the roast, I think I started off with sci-fi and he wasn't 940 00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:45,800 even in there, so I didn't get the roast. And then I just kept on hitting people. And then when I got 941 00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:51,000 to you, I was like Jewish nose for sure. But then I can't. How could you not? Yeah, yeah, right. 942 00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:57,720 And then after that, I was like Holocaust survivor body does sound good. I like it. It's there. That was my favorite. 943 00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:02,040 No, it was good. It was good. I wanted to see you go harder, but if that's all you got, I guess that's all you got. 944 00:34:03,480 --> 00:34:08,120 Charlie's about to roast the shit out of me tonight. I don't think I can top Baby Grinch. 945 00:34:08,120 --> 00:34:12,680 That's Brown Baby Grinch. That's so good. That's really good. I was mad. I was mad it was so good. 946 00:34:12,680 --> 00:34:17,240 I'm like damn. And we'll say it's OK, because I was Jewish for one year of my life. So because my mom 947 00:34:17,240 --> 00:34:23,480 dated a Jewish guy, so I had to go to synagogue. So it's all cool. Everybody can say that. He's got a 948 00:34:23,480 --> 00:34:28,440 star, David Jensen. Yeah. I see JJ. 949 00:34:32,440 --> 00:34:37,800 I went on a date with a girl from Tinder the other day, and it actually went surprisingly well. 950 00:34:37,800 --> 00:34:43,160 We went and grabbed dinner. It was good food, good conversation. We get back in my car. I'm going to 951 00:34:43,160 --> 00:34:48,760 drive her home. I'm a good guy and everything. And she turns and she looks at me and she says, 952 00:34:48,760 --> 00:34:54,120 I need you to help me get all these problems off my mind for a while. She wants to have sex, 953 00:34:54,120 --> 00:34:59,960 do you hear me? And the first thing that pops into my mind is, I don't know if I have a problem 954 00:34:59,960 --> 00:35:07,080 solving penis. A conundrum call me cock, if you will. I can't get all your problems off your 955 00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:13,080 mind for a while. I can get a few of them off your mind for a bit. And I'm not talking. 956 00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:21,240 That's a great bit. I really like that. It gets poetic there with the alliteration, 957 00:35:21,240 --> 00:35:25,000 the problem solving penis contemplating whatever it is. 958 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:26,680 It's a conundrum call me cock. 959 00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:28,600 My bad, my bad. There it is. I'm sorry. 960 00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:38,280 I love that. That really is a great bit. That is one of those two. Sometimes you hear of it and 961 00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:42,280 you're like, oh, that was sitting there for the taking. And I feel like a lot of the best ones 962 00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:47,720 are that. You're like, oh shit, I didn't even think about that. Because most of us have probably been 963 00:35:47,720 --> 00:35:52,280 kind of in that situation with a girl where she's like, oh, maybe you can take my mind off of it. 964 00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:56,120 And you're like, probably not. At least 30 seconds. 965 00:35:56,120 --> 00:35:59,640 It's relatable, though. Very relatable. Because you know, oh, yeah, 966 00:35:59,640 --> 00:36:02,520 people need to get that stress off. You know what I mean? 967 00:36:02,520 --> 00:36:07,000 That's exactly what Jonathan was telling me after the show. He was telling it to both of us. 968 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:11,240 He's like, you got to open up with self-deprecation, which I did a little bit, 969 00:36:11,240 --> 00:36:17,080 but it was super dark. So that whole bit is self-deprecation about like the one that you 970 00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:21,240 said, the domestic abuse that, but I guess it's still just a little too hard core. 971 00:36:21,240 --> 00:36:27,320 Like if you open with that one, with that clip right there, then people, 972 00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:30,920 I think, will get on your side way more. The reason I opened with that one, though, 973 00:36:30,920 --> 00:36:36,520 is because I said it for the first time ever at the Speakeasy Open, Mike, and they fucking loved it. 974 00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:40,440 Right. So you were like, it's gonna hit again. I mean, why wouldn't it? 975 00:36:40,440 --> 00:36:43,960 They turned on me, dude. They turned on me. They turned, bro. They did. 976 00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:46,120 It's because all the holiday crowd was out, dude. 977 00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:49,320 It could be what it was. I guess. I don't know. 978 00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:52,680 I'm just blaming it on everything. Yeah. Yeah. Fucking Christmas, man. 979 00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:55,960 Goddamn Santa Claus. Holiday spirit. Fucking it up, dude. 980 00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:59,400 Fuck Saint Nick, bitch. Fat bastard. 981 00:36:59,400 --> 00:37:02,600 Ooh. I love old dirty fat bastard. Hold on. 982 00:37:02,600 --> 00:37:04,280 It's just old dirty bastard. Yeah. 983 00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:06,600 Oh, fuck. I fucked it up. 984 00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:08,920 We don't know who he's talking about. Because he said fat bastard. 985 00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:13,080 I don't know why I thought of old dirty bastard. I thought of old dirty fat bastard. 986 00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:15,240 Which one are you talking about that you love? Wu-Tang. 987 00:37:15,240 --> 00:37:17,240 OK, so you like Wu-Tang. Yeah, I love old bastard. 988 00:37:17,240 --> 00:37:20,920 Old bad. He fucking. Old. My bad. Old dirty bastard. 989 00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:22,760 He's a good man. Don't ever change. 990 00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:25,800 Shimmy shimmy. Hey, y'all. Shimmy, yeah. Shimmy, yeah, yeah, yeah. 991 00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:27,320 I don't know the rest. And I can take it away. 992 00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:29,800 You should have seen me do karaoke. The Atlanta's coming out. 993 00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:32,760 Ooh, I love Atlanta. Yes, sir. 994 00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:35,720 That's a good ass fucking movie, man. I mean, not movie. My bad show. 995 00:37:35,720 --> 00:37:36,680 The show. The show. Yeah. 996 00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:38,440 He was just talking about the show. Oh, no. Yeah, he's the show. 997 00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:40,360 I mean, that's. Talking about the geographic location. 998 00:37:40,360 --> 00:37:43,960 Oh, man. Donald Glover is like who I would want to be. 999 00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:46,840 I thought for years because I'm newer to comedy, 1000 00:37:46,840 --> 00:37:48,440 but like I was doing music all before that. 1001 00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:51,080 I was always like, I'll get famous for music, then I'll do comedy. 1002 00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:54,040 I'll just be Donald Glover in reverse. Like everybody's going to fucking love me. 1003 00:37:55,240 --> 00:37:58,280 And now I'm doing comedy and this is the shit I should have been doing this the whole fucking time. 1004 00:37:58,280 --> 00:38:02,280 Yeah. Charlie Swisher. He hit a Moody Monday's karaoke bar. 1005 00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:05,400 Hit that boys in the hood are always hard. Oh, I love that shit. 1006 00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:09,320 Talking that trash will pull your car. Hey, yeah. 1007 00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:11,000 Hey, thanks for coming on, man. Thank you. 1008 00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:12,440 Hell yeah, dude. Yeah, I love it. 1009 00:38:12,440 --> 00:38:15,160 Yeah. Again, thanks, y'all, for doing this shit. Thanks for having me on. 1010 00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:17,640 Thanks for putting Huntsville on. I fuck with it. 1011 00:38:17,640 --> 00:38:20,440 And we're going to have you on your own episode. We just had to get you in here. 1012 00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:23,640 We had to get you in here early because we were like booked up for a little minute. 1013 00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:25,560 So we had to get you because you're too fucking funny. 1014 00:38:25,560 --> 00:38:29,160 I appreciate it, man. You are hilarious, too. Thank you. 1015 00:38:29,160 --> 00:38:30,920 Peace. Peace. Peace. 1016 00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:34,920 Have you ever had someone take their how you're doing way too seriously? 1017 00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:39,320 They made eye contact with you and told you their whole life story. 1018 00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:45,320 Meet Theodore Gaines, the Trauma Dump Uber. How you doing tonight, my man? 1019 00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:49,320 Doing good, man. How about you? I've had better nights. I've had better nights. 1020 00:38:49,320 --> 00:38:54,200 Oh, man. Sorry to hear that. Yeah, I'm sorry to hear it, too, man. 1021 00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:57,240 But you know, sometimes you just think somebody loves you. 1022 00:38:57,240 --> 00:39:00,760 Yeah, you know. Next thing you know, you find out your kid is your brother's. 1023 00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:04,760 What the fuck? What you up to tonight? Where you going, man? 1024 00:39:04,760 --> 00:39:07,480 I'm going to Red Lobster. I'm on a date today, man. 1025 00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:11,480 Oh, you going on a date? Man, enjoy that, boy. 1026 00:39:11,480 --> 00:39:15,480 Oh, yeah. I ain't been on a date for years, man. 1027 00:39:17,480 --> 00:39:23,480 After my wife cheated on me, I tried to get back out there, but, you know, with the whole 1028 00:39:23,480 --> 00:39:27,480 General Awards and everything else like that, you just. 1029 00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:33,480 It's slim pickings, you know. Some people just ain't that open-minded as you think. 1030 00:39:33,480 --> 00:39:36,480 You excited for this date? Oh, hell yeah, man. I bet you are. 1031 00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:39,480 Hell yeah, man. I've been looking forward to this all week. 1032 00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:41,480 That's good. That's good. 1033 00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:47,480 Man, I've been looking forward to getting off this weekend and going fishing with my son, 1034 00:39:47,480 --> 00:39:50,480 but, you know, now he's my nephew, so I guess. 1035 00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:53,480 No, I'm his uncle, daddy. 1036 00:39:53,480 --> 00:39:55,480 Okay. Yeah. 1037 00:39:55,480 --> 00:40:01,480 I should have known. You know, one time my woman made me go into a sex store and look 1038 00:40:01,480 --> 00:40:05,480 at dildos and paired them to my penis to see how inadequate I was. 1039 00:40:05,480 --> 00:40:08,480 Oh, fuck. That's not how you should have let that happen. 1040 00:40:08,480 --> 00:40:15,480 Nope. My girl used to make me shoot sex tapes with her wearing a mask of her ex-boyfriend's face on. 1041 00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:17,480 That's not right. 1042 00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:24,480 Let me tell you something. If your girl ever cheats on you with a 30-man Royal Rumble gangbang, 1043 00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:27,480 don't take her back, bro. Don't take her back. 1044 00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:29,480 It's the shit I took it to begin with, man. 1045 00:40:29,480 --> 00:40:30,480 I got gout. 1046 00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:32,480 Oh, shit. 1047 00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:37,480 I found a bunk on the back of my neck the size of a golf ball. 1048 00:40:37,480 --> 00:40:41,480 I'm a little worried. I'm thinking about going to get checked out, but I just can't afford it right now. 1049 00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:43,480 Yeah, I'm out of here, bro. 1050 00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:45,480 Yeah, goodbye, man. See you. 1051 00:40:45,480 --> 00:40:46,480 All right, brother. 1052 00:40:46,480 --> 00:40:47,480 I'll give you a good star, I guess. 1053 00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:52,480 I appreciate it, man. You know, I lost the star because I shat myself. 1054 00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:53,480 You shat yourself? 1055 00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:56,480 I shat myself one time taking a kid to homecoming. 1056 00:40:56,480 --> 00:40:57,480 To homecoming? 1057 00:40:57,480 --> 00:40:58,480 And they gave me one star. 1058 00:40:58,480 --> 00:40:59,480 One star? 1059 00:40:59,480 --> 00:41:00,480 One star, yes, sir. 1060 00:41:00,480 --> 00:41:02,480 You can't help that shit, man. 1061 00:41:02,480 --> 00:41:03,480 I can't. 1062 00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:04,480 Hey, bless you. 1063 00:41:04,480 --> 00:41:07,480 Hey, brother, remember, it's like my father used to say. 1064 00:41:07,480 --> 00:41:08,480 What did he say? 1065 00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:14,480 Hard times don't last always, but then sometimes, and he didn't finish it, somebody shot him in the head. 1066 00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:15,480 Fuck. 1067 00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:16,480 Yeah, man. 1068 00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:17,480 Damn. 1069 00:41:17,480 --> 00:41:22,480 Hey, how's it going, my man? How's it going? How's it going? 1070 00:41:22,480 --> 00:41:26,480 Yeah, man, I'm just trying to get up to this party. 1071 00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:27,480 Okay. 1072 00:41:27,480 --> 00:41:28,480 I got a little shit to dig. It's a little kickback. 1073 00:41:28,480 --> 00:41:31,480 Party man, party man, party man. 1074 00:41:31,480 --> 00:41:32,480 Yeah. 1075 00:41:32,480 --> 00:41:38,480 I once went to a party that was accidentally, well, not accidentally, unbeknownst to me. 1076 00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:41,480 It was a cult. It was a cult meeting. 1077 00:41:41,480 --> 00:41:42,480 Yeah. 1078 00:41:42,480 --> 00:41:45,480 And I signed away 12 years of my life. 1079 00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:47,480 Excellent food. Excellent food. 1080 00:41:47,480 --> 00:41:48,480 It was tasty, huh? 1081 00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:49,480 Great food. 1082 00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:50,480 Yeah. 1083 00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:54,480 So where's, what are you doing now? Like how, like are you still? 1084 00:41:54,480 --> 00:41:55,480 I drive Uber. 1085 00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:56,480 You drive Uber? 1086 00:41:56,480 --> 00:41:57,480 Yeah. 1087 00:41:57,480 --> 00:41:58,480 Oh, right. 1088 00:41:58,480 --> 00:42:04,480 Yeah. Once I got off the compound, I really had to, you know, sort myself out, figure 1089 00:42:04,480 --> 00:42:09,480 out how much of the United States government was actually in zenith with the devil. But 1090 00:42:09,480 --> 00:42:12,480 once I got a lot figured out, man, you know. 1091 00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:13,480 Yeah. 1092 00:42:13,480 --> 00:42:15,480 Yeah. Eyes on the road, buddy. 1093 00:42:15,480 --> 00:42:16,480 I got you. 1094 00:42:16,480 --> 00:42:18,480 Yeah, man. I'm relaxed. 1095 00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:21,480 Okay. Yeah, I'm tripping. I'm tripping. 1096 00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:23,480 Where am I going? Yeah. 1097 00:42:23,480 --> 00:42:25,480 Oh, yeah. GBS. 1098 00:42:25,480 --> 00:42:28,480 I recently found out my mother's not my real mother. 1099 00:42:28,480 --> 00:42:30,480 Oh, shit. 1100 00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:41,480 Yeah. Yeah. Neither is my father. I was kidnapped as a child, not even adopted. Kidnapped. 1101 00:42:41,480 --> 00:42:48,480 I should have known. Kids at school always make fun of me. Teddy Teddy, why are your parents 1102 00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:56,480 screaming? You're not. I never tell you, I used to actually make music. 1103 00:42:56,480 --> 00:42:58,480 You used to make music? 1104 00:42:58,480 --> 00:43:08,480 Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Sold my soul to the devil to learn how to play the xylophone. Just turns 1105 00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:16,480 out not too many people wanted to hear the xylophone. Every night at 3 a.m. I see a shadow 1106 00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:20,480 figure in the corner telling me it's time to collect his due, you know? 1107 00:43:20,480 --> 00:43:24,480 No, no, Teddy. I don't know, Teddy. 1108 00:43:24,480 --> 00:43:29,480 You know what I mean. I think this is your party, man. 1109 00:43:29,480 --> 00:43:31,480 This is my party? Yeah, brother. 1110 00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:33,480 Teddy, let me out, man. Thanks. 1111 00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:38,480 All right, brother. Nice to meet you. Praise the dark one. 1112 00:43:38,480 --> 00:43:46,480 That shadow figure was back. 1113 00:43:46,480 --> 00:43:51,480 This week's featured comedian. 1114 00:43:51,480 --> 00:43:59,480 When I was 13, like most 13 year olds, I discovered my body. And by body I mean penis. 1115 00:43:59,480 --> 00:44:07,480 And by discovered, I mean beat it to a flip. 1116 00:44:07,480 --> 00:44:13,480 I beat my meat so much that it was a fucking hate crime. 1117 00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:24,480 Anybody here ever seen Rocky? That ain't got shit on it. I beat my meat into a fucking right angle. 1118 00:44:24,480 --> 00:44:35,480 You never fuck a chick and it's like, yeah, that's the boomerang, baby. It's going to come back to you. 1119 00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:47,480 How we feel? I feel good. 1120 00:44:47,480 --> 00:44:51,480 I'm out on love. 1121 00:44:51,480 --> 00:44:53,480 Papa's got a brand new bat. 1122 00:44:53,480 --> 00:44:57,480 Sao Paulo, Brazil. 1123 00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:59,480 We going to Rio de Janeiro. 1124 00:44:59,480 --> 00:45:06,480 Get up off of that thing. 1125 00:45:06,480 --> 00:45:09,480 Want to introduce our guest. 1126 00:45:09,480 --> 00:45:13,480 Today, we are joined by another fantastic comedian. 1127 00:45:13,480 --> 00:45:18,480 To be exact, the second most fantastic comedian in the world, which is bullshit. 1128 00:45:18,480 --> 00:45:23,480 I disagree, but I wasn't one of the judges. 1129 00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:29,480 This guy's hilarious. He's a star. He illuminates the world. 1130 00:45:29,480 --> 00:45:35,480 If we were to lose this man, the world would lose a treasure. 1131 00:45:35,480 --> 00:45:39,480 He's a mystical figure. 1132 00:45:39,480 --> 00:45:46,480 Joining us on the podcast today, we have Sci-Fi Got Jokes. 1133 00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:49,480 It is just sci-fi, bro. 1134 00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:52,480 Full name is Sci-Fi Got Jokes. 1135 00:45:52,480 --> 00:45:57,480 That was always my biggest fear that people would see. 1136 00:45:57,480 --> 00:45:59,480 How you feeling, man? I feel great. 1137 00:45:59,480 --> 00:46:01,480 Thank you for being on here, man. 1138 00:46:01,480 --> 00:46:02,480 Thank you all for having me. 1139 00:46:02,480 --> 00:46:06,480 It's going to be a good one. Dom's got the whole bottle over there. 1140 00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:09,480 I've been waiting for this since day one. I've been waiting for this. 1141 00:46:09,480 --> 00:46:12,480 You know we had to build you up a little bit, right? 1142 00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:14,480 Of course, just to tear you down. 1143 00:46:14,480 --> 00:46:18,480 Yeah, that's how you do. 1144 00:46:18,480 --> 00:46:21,480 That's on brand for you. 1145 00:46:21,480 --> 00:46:23,480 I would never talk stuff to you. 1146 00:46:23,480 --> 00:46:24,480 You're a lying asshole. 1147 00:46:24,480 --> 00:46:27,480 I would never do it, man. This is the guy right here. 1148 00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:29,480 Funniest dude in Huntsville. 1149 00:46:29,480 --> 00:46:30,480 The funniest. 1150 00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:31,480 I say he's the funniest. 1151 00:46:31,480 --> 00:46:35,480 When Dom starts talking you up, he's literally about to chop you down. 1152 00:46:35,480 --> 00:46:41,480 This man went on stage and said, mind you, I went like five on the list. 1153 00:46:41,480 --> 00:46:43,480 He went maybe tenth. 1154 00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:46,480 He gets up and he goes, everybody give it up for sci-fi. He's so funny. 1155 00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:49,480 I was like, oh, that's cool. Thank you. Thank you, Dom. 1156 00:46:49,480 --> 00:46:51,480 He goes, no, he's like the best, man. 1157 00:46:51,480 --> 00:46:54,480 I was like, why is this nigga giving me so much credit? 1158 00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:56,480 Then he goes, yeah, man, that boy's really funny. 1159 00:46:56,480 --> 00:46:59,480 I was like, he's about to assassinate me, isn't he? 1160 00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:06,480 He goes, he's funny even though he looks like Bob Marley without a metabolism. 1161 00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:10,480 Damn. Five spaces in between. You were stewing that one up. 1162 00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:11,480 I told you. It was cooking. 1163 00:47:11,480 --> 00:47:15,480 It was because that dude rubbed my shoulders. Actually, he's the same dude that dropped the in-bomb. 1164 00:47:15,480 --> 00:47:17,480 Hell yeah. Good guy, that guy. 1165 00:47:17,480 --> 00:47:24,480 But yeah, he was right. That joke you had, he was like, where Dom at? 1166 00:47:24,480 --> 00:47:27,480 But the Muhammad, you ate shit. 1167 00:47:27,480 --> 00:47:34,480 That is fucked up, man. Me and Dom do kind of look like, he's like Hood Muhammad. 1168 00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:35,480 I'm like Redneck Jesus. 1169 00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:38,480 Yeah, I can see that. 1170 00:47:38,480 --> 00:47:39,480 Now pray to us. 1171 00:47:39,480 --> 00:47:47,480 You could definitely own any gas station in the hood and sell loose new ports. 1172 00:47:47,480 --> 00:47:49,480 In the bathroom. 1173 00:47:49,480 --> 00:47:55,480 And you look like you can turn any rock into metal at any way and road. 1174 00:47:55,480 --> 00:48:01,480 That was a very good accurate representation of you two. 1175 00:48:01,480 --> 00:48:03,480 Oh shit. 1176 00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:06,480 All right, so how long you been doing stand-up? 1177 00:48:06,480 --> 00:48:12,480 Man, I've been doing stand-up. It's coming up on three years. I started Phenom. 1178 00:48:12,480 --> 00:48:16,480 April 21st. I'm sorry, April 25th, 2021. 1179 00:48:16,480 --> 00:48:18,480 That was the very first day I did stand-up. 1180 00:48:18,480 --> 00:48:25,480 Damn. See, like that's crazy because how funny, how comfortable he is, how much material he has and everything bangs. 1181 00:48:25,480 --> 00:48:30,480 I mean, he gets mad at himself whenever he gets laughs. Like me and JJ just got no laughs. 1182 00:48:30,480 --> 00:48:33,480 That's when you're mad at yourself. He gets mad at himself. 1183 00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:34,480 I got grooms. 1184 00:48:34,480 --> 00:48:41,480 Audible grooms. It sounded like the audience was in pain. Sounded like a fucking nursing home. 1185 00:48:41,480 --> 00:48:45,480 But this man is a monster. You'll see him on shows all around town, right? You're always doing shows. 1186 00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:49,480 Shenanigans. You host your own show there. You had me on it. Thank you so much. 1187 00:48:49,480 --> 00:48:50,480 Thank you for doing it. 1188 00:48:50,480 --> 00:48:53,480 Hell yeah. We had to get all black and I was the minority. 1189 00:48:53,480 --> 00:49:02,480 I was about to say, no, he fit the criteria. He had black in him. And I don't want to say he was black. He had black in him. 1190 00:49:02,480 --> 00:49:08,480 Because if anybody be like, oh, what about the Middle Eastern dude? I'm like, no, let's pull out his papers. He's got some black in him. 1191 00:49:08,480 --> 00:49:09,480 He had pit bull. 1192 00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:16,480 And he made me chuckle. That's all you got to do to get on the show. No, you killed it, man. I loved it. 1193 00:49:16,480 --> 00:49:26,480 I appreciate it, man. You killed it too. It was a good time. We had Cole on there. Crow. I love Crow, dude. I like him. I like him a lot. 1194 00:49:26,480 --> 00:49:27,480 Yeah. Shout outs to Crow. 1195 00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:28,480 Hell yeah. 1196 00:49:28,480 --> 00:49:29,480 And Cole Nalls. 1197 00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:32,480 I don't know. 1198 00:49:32,480 --> 00:49:34,480 So, Syphon. 1199 00:49:34,480 --> 00:49:35,480 What's up? 1200 00:49:35,480 --> 00:49:36,480 I have some information over here. 1201 00:49:36,480 --> 00:49:38,480 All right. Let's go. 1202 00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:44,480 You were born in March 1992. We're just going to start from the top. We're going to do this chronologically. 1203 00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:47,480 I was born March 1992, correct? 1204 00:49:47,480 --> 00:49:50,480 So you were pre-911, dude. 1205 00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:52,480 I was pre-911. 1206 00:49:52,480 --> 00:49:53,480 That's crazy. 1207 00:49:53,480 --> 00:49:54,480 Is that the stamp? 1208 00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:56,480 For me, it is. 1209 00:49:56,480 --> 00:49:58,480 You post or pre-911? 1210 00:49:58,480 --> 00:49:59,480 I was post. 1211 00:49:59,480 --> 00:50:00,480 I know you're post. 1212 00:50:00,480 --> 00:50:11,480 I like to ask this question. What's the craziest thing you have you ever seen at an open mic or at a show or anywhere that just stands out in your mind? 1213 00:50:11,480 --> 00:50:31,480 The first time I ever did an open mic in Tennessee, we were in Nashville and one dude got up there eating a piece of chicken. So you got to imagine you're on a microphone. You don't want to do something that annoys the people who have to hear you. 1214 00:50:31,480 --> 00:50:32,480 Yeah. 1215 00:50:32,480 --> 00:50:47,480 He was actively eating chicken as he was telling his jokes, but he never told a joke at all. And when he got off, another lady got up there who was clearly homeless and she emptied some trash out on the stage. 1216 00:50:47,480 --> 00:50:48,480 Get the fuck out. 1217 00:50:48,480 --> 00:50:52,480 And started playing music with the trash. Yeah. 1218 00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:53,480 She played music with the trash? 1219 00:50:53,480 --> 00:50:56,480 She would make almost... It was kind of beautiful. 1220 00:50:56,480 --> 00:50:58,480 She's making a beat with a heroin needle. 1221 00:50:58,480 --> 00:51:06,480 Yeah, she would have the top of a trash can and two rotting carrots and that would be the drum. 1222 00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:13,480 She would see a crack pipe and it would turn into a flute. She was killing it. 1223 00:51:13,480 --> 00:51:18,480 I'm not going to fuck with that though. I love resourcefulness dude. 1224 00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:20,480 Especially on behalf of the homeless dude. 1225 00:51:20,480 --> 00:51:22,480 Yeah, they're the most resourceful. 1226 00:51:22,480 --> 00:51:23,480 Yeah. 1227 00:51:23,480 --> 00:51:24,480 You gotta be. 1228 00:51:24,480 --> 00:51:29,480 You gotta be creative when you're out there. Oh, speaking of homeless people dude, I remember we went to Birmingham one time. 1229 00:51:29,480 --> 00:51:30,480 Yeah. 1230 00:51:30,480 --> 00:51:32,480 And homeless people just don't phase you. 1231 00:51:32,480 --> 00:51:33,480 No. 1232 00:51:33,480 --> 00:51:37,480 I was scared. I was inside a vehicle. The doors were locked dude. Me and Bryce were tweaking. 1233 00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:41,480 We didn't know if that guy was homeless. I thought he was just drunk. He could have been homeless. 1234 00:51:41,480 --> 00:51:49,480 Well, he was passed out on the ground outside of a gas station and this other guy came up and tried to stab him and Syfy just didn't care. He just walked out of the gas station. 1235 00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:53,480 It had nothing to do with me. I was really thirsty. 1236 00:51:53,480 --> 00:51:55,480 And before we left. 1237 00:51:55,480 --> 00:51:56,480 I feel you. 1238 00:51:56,480 --> 00:51:58,480 It ain't got nothing to do with me bro. Move. 1239 00:51:58,480 --> 00:52:09,480 And before we left, we were at a different gas station in Madison and Syfy was inside and I'd like kind of peek in. He's like hugging this man and they're jumping around in circles. 1240 00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:10,480 What? 1241 00:52:10,480 --> 00:52:17,480 Yeah. So I have a, I have a, I have a, I guess you could say a vibe or something that makes people just go, hey, I want to talk to you. 1242 00:52:17,480 --> 00:52:19,480 Uh huh. Yeah, you definitely do. 1243 00:52:19,480 --> 00:52:34,480 And I'm always like, cool. What do you want to talk about? I never shut it down. And this old dude, once again, I was thirsty and I was in the gas station getting this huge like thing of water in this old black dude sees me. 1244 00:52:34,480 --> 00:52:41,480 I'm in front of him and he slaps the like gallon of water or whatever it was. And I was like, what's up? And he was like, I know you ain't gonna drink that all. Are you? 1245 00:52:41,480 --> 00:52:51,480 And I was like, I'm gonna try to. And he was like, you're going to be pissing all day. And I was like, I don't know what to say to him. And I was like, who said I wasn't pissing already? 1246 00:52:51,480 --> 00:53:01,480 And he just thought that was real funny. So he dap me up. And then we just kind of, he mumbled something and I didn't know what he mumbled. So I mumbled something back. And that's when he kind of made me start like jumping. 1247 00:53:01,480 --> 00:53:02,480 What the fuck? 1248 00:53:02,480 --> 00:53:04,480 You know, Syfy has that bounce. 1249 00:53:04,480 --> 00:53:06,480 Yeah, yeah. Always bounce. 1250 00:53:06,480 --> 00:53:10,480 That's the gnome in him. 1251 00:53:10,480 --> 00:53:11,480 Jolly as hell. 1252 00:53:11,480 --> 00:53:13,480 I'm a very jolly person. 1253 00:53:13,480 --> 00:53:14,480 Yeah, I used to hate it. 1254 00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:15,480 You're a joy to be around. 1255 00:53:15,480 --> 00:53:19,480 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I had to learn to be myself to do that. 1256 00:53:19,480 --> 00:53:20,480 Okay. Okay. 1257 00:53:20,480 --> 00:53:24,480 I used to like want to be seen as like more serious and like edgy almost. 1258 00:53:24,480 --> 00:53:25,480 Uh huh. 1259 00:53:25,480 --> 00:53:28,480 And over time I was like, that ain't me. 1260 00:53:28,480 --> 00:53:29,480 Damn, dude. 1261 00:53:29,480 --> 00:53:30,480 I know what you mean. 1262 00:53:30,480 --> 00:53:31,480 That's beautiful. 1263 00:53:31,480 --> 00:53:33,480 I don't know if it's beautiful. 1264 00:53:33,480 --> 00:53:36,480 I think it's beautiful, dude. I think you're a beautiful person, dude. 1265 00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:37,480 I think you're a beautiful person. 1266 00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:38,480 Inside and out. 1267 00:53:38,480 --> 00:53:40,480 You guys want a room or something? 1268 00:53:40,480 --> 00:53:42,480 Dom's hating ass, dude. 1269 00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:46,480 It's going to be a trifecta either way, baby. 1270 00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:50,480 He's a little excited. 1271 00:53:50,480 --> 00:53:56,480 All right. Let's go with this, dude. Top three comedians. 1272 00:53:56,480 --> 00:53:58,480 I feel like that's an integral question. 1273 00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:00,480 Top three comedians? 1274 00:54:00,480 --> 00:54:09,480 I'll say these top three that made me even get like love comedy. 1275 00:54:09,480 --> 00:54:12,480 So it might be somebody you hear anybody, but they're right. 1276 00:54:12,480 --> 00:54:14,480 They don't write as good as so-and-so. 1277 00:54:14,480 --> 00:54:15,480 Yeah. 1278 00:54:15,480 --> 00:54:18,480 But yeah, these guys made me fall in love with comedy. 1279 00:54:18,480 --> 00:54:20,480 Number one is going to be Eddie Murphy. 1280 00:54:20,480 --> 00:54:21,480 Great. 1281 00:54:21,480 --> 00:54:24,480 Number two is George Lopez. 1282 00:54:24,480 --> 00:54:25,480 Okay. 1283 00:54:25,480 --> 00:54:26,480 I like George. 1284 00:54:26,480 --> 00:54:29,480 And number three is John Mulaney. 1285 00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:30,480 Oh, yeah. 1286 00:54:30,480 --> 00:54:31,480 Did not expect that one. 1287 00:54:31,480 --> 00:54:35,480 They all kind of made me realize like Eddie Murphy. 1288 00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:38,480 I've heard like comedy growing up. 1289 00:54:38,480 --> 00:54:39,480 I used to watch BT Comic View. 1290 00:54:39,480 --> 00:54:41,480 That was like my introduction. 1291 00:54:41,480 --> 00:54:42,480 That's my show. 1292 00:54:42,480 --> 00:54:48,480 So I got accustomed to black comedy and white people just weren't funny. 1293 00:54:48,480 --> 00:54:49,480 You know? 1294 00:54:49,480 --> 00:54:50,480 Yeah. 1295 00:54:50,480 --> 00:54:51,480 That's the way I thought too. 1296 00:54:51,480 --> 00:54:52,480 That's just the way it came on. 1297 00:54:52,480 --> 00:54:55,480 So coming up, I'm like, okay, black people are funny. 1298 00:54:55,480 --> 00:55:01,480 So when I started listening to George Lopez, like on some weird tip, like he was just something 1299 00:55:01,480 --> 00:55:02,480 on HBO Max. 1300 00:55:02,480 --> 00:55:04,480 And I was like, I'm going to watch this. 1301 00:55:04,480 --> 00:55:09,480 And he had me cracking up about things that I had never understood before or never witnessed 1302 00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:10,480 with my two eyes. 1303 00:55:10,480 --> 00:55:13,480 Like he's talking about, you remember when you're growing up as a Mexican kid, this, 1304 00:55:13,480 --> 00:55:18,480 that, and the third, and the way he's setting it up, I can believe I'm there. 1305 00:55:18,480 --> 00:55:21,480 It was like he was painting a picture that was so great. 1306 00:55:21,480 --> 00:55:23,480 I'm just like, okay, cool. 1307 00:55:23,480 --> 00:55:25,480 So George Lopez is funny. 1308 00:55:25,480 --> 00:55:29,480 And then John Mulaney came around and I was like, this dude is just weird. 1309 00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:34,480 It's this super weird white guy, but he was making me laugh coming from angles of things. 1310 00:55:34,480 --> 00:55:36,480 I'd never heard before. 1311 00:55:36,480 --> 00:55:40,480 And then things also that, uh, that were true to me. 1312 00:55:40,480 --> 00:55:46,480 Like he had this one joke where he talks about, uh, he's trying to catch a train and his ladies 1313 00:55:46,480 --> 00:55:47,480 in front of him. 1314 00:55:47,480 --> 00:55:50,480 And he thinks he's trying to catch a train because she starts running. 1315 00:55:50,480 --> 00:55:53,480 So he starts running up behind her and she's keeps looking behind him. 1316 00:55:53,480 --> 00:55:55,480 So he's like, Oh, it's something chasing us. 1317 00:55:55,480 --> 00:55:56,480 So he's looking behind him. 1318 00:55:56,480 --> 00:56:03,480 And he says the whole time he never realized, Oh, I'm a grown man chasing this woman at 1319 00:56:03,480 --> 00:56:04,480 night in a train. 1320 00:56:04,480 --> 00:56:07,480 Oh, this time I thought I was a little boy. 1321 00:56:07,480 --> 00:56:14,480 Like you get, I heard that right around that time where I'm like, like I'm becoming a man. 1322 00:56:14,480 --> 00:56:16,480 So I'm still like, Oh, I'm young. 1323 00:56:16,480 --> 00:56:17,480 You know, so I'm doing things. 1324 00:56:17,480 --> 00:56:20,480 I'm like, hold on people see me as a grown ass man out here. 1325 00:56:20,480 --> 00:56:24,480 I got a, so it just really made me laugh really hard. 1326 00:56:24,480 --> 00:56:25,480 I like those three. 1327 00:56:25,480 --> 00:56:26,480 I think those three go together. 1328 00:56:26,480 --> 00:56:27,480 Tell you. 1329 00:56:27,480 --> 00:56:28,480 Thank you. 1330 00:56:28,480 --> 00:56:29,480 Oh yeah. 1331 00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:30,480 Like, like who you are. 1332 00:56:30,480 --> 00:56:31,480 Cause you're smart. 1333 00:56:31,480 --> 00:56:32,480 You're smart. 1334 00:56:32,480 --> 00:56:37,480 Like, uh, Malaney, you got the, uh, stage presence. 1335 00:56:37,480 --> 00:56:39,480 I think of a Lopez. 1336 00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:44,480 Like you just, you just, you can get along with anybody wherever Lopez is that whatever 1337 00:56:44,480 --> 00:56:48,480 room he's in, he's getting along with the people, even if there's so much different 1338 00:56:48,480 --> 00:56:49,480 to him. 1339 00:56:49,480 --> 00:56:50,480 That's what I always give you credit for. 1340 00:56:50,480 --> 00:56:54,480 You can pull a room, no ma no matter what the room is, all black, all white, mixed, 1341 00:56:54,480 --> 00:56:58,480 whatever you pull them in and you make them listen to you and you always hit them with 1342 00:56:58,480 --> 00:56:59,480 them bangers. 1343 00:56:59,480 --> 00:57:00,480 I appreciate that, man. 1344 00:57:00,480 --> 00:57:01,480 I appreciate that. 1345 00:57:01,480 --> 00:57:02,480 You know, it's funny. 1346 00:57:02,480 --> 00:57:06,480 Everybody always like, uh, I'm really good on looking out. 1347 00:57:06,480 --> 00:57:11,480 Like it's, it, it sucks that it sucks to have this habit, but I'm really good at seeing 1348 00:57:11,480 --> 00:57:13,480 the positive in everybody. 1349 00:57:13,480 --> 00:57:16,480 And then when it's time to look at me, I only look at the negative. 1350 00:57:16,480 --> 00:57:19,480 So like, I can tell y'all about all y'all styles and how I like your styles. 1351 00:57:19,480 --> 00:57:22,480 But when people are like, Oh, what's what's sci-fi style? 1352 00:57:22,480 --> 00:57:23,480 I don't have a style, bro. 1353 00:57:23,480 --> 00:57:29,480 I don't, I don't know what my com is, but then I, but I always try to be relatable. 1354 00:57:29,480 --> 00:57:30,480 And so thank you for saying that. 1355 00:57:30,480 --> 00:57:32,480 That makes you a good comment. 1356 00:57:32,480 --> 00:57:36,480 So, you know, nobody can think you can't think you're good, but it doesn't come across like 1357 00:57:36,480 --> 00:57:38,480 that in your jokes and your jokes. 1358 00:57:38,480 --> 00:57:40,480 It seems like you have a lot of self-awareness. 1359 00:57:40,480 --> 00:57:41,480 Yeah. 1360 00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:44,480 I think I, I do have self-awareness. 1361 00:57:44,480 --> 00:57:46,480 I strive to have self-awareness. 1362 00:57:46,480 --> 00:57:47,480 You're just focusing on the negative. 1363 00:57:47,480 --> 00:57:49,480 Cause that's what you can get better at. 1364 00:57:49,480 --> 00:57:50,480 Yeah. 1365 00:57:50,480 --> 00:57:55,480 I think, and that's the thing that, uh, I don't know, just being happy that I did well at 1366 00:57:55,480 --> 00:57:56,480 something. 1367 00:57:56,480 --> 00:57:57,480 It's like, Oh, that's cool. 1368 00:57:57,480 --> 00:58:01,480 I w it's not like, I don't think about doing well at something. 1369 00:58:01,480 --> 00:58:06,480 Like if I have a great set, like if there's a pack show and I have a great set, Oh, that 1370 00:58:06,480 --> 00:58:08,480 night, I feel like king of the earth. 1371 00:58:08,480 --> 00:58:10,480 You can't say like, you know what I'm saying? 1372 00:58:10,480 --> 00:58:11,480 It's not being a dick Friday. 1373 00:58:11,480 --> 00:58:12,480 We both bomb. 1374 00:58:12,480 --> 00:58:13,480 He was feeling guilty. 1375 00:58:13,480 --> 00:58:14,480 I'll be somewhere dancing. 1376 00:58:14,480 --> 00:58:20,480 I feel it and I'll let myself feel it for that night. 1377 00:58:20,480 --> 00:58:22,480 And then the next day I'm back to normal. 1378 00:58:22,480 --> 00:58:27,480 But if I have a bad one, it's that one's, it's, it's harder to shake off. 1379 00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:29,480 I slept for three hours. 1380 00:58:29,480 --> 00:58:30,480 Right. 1381 00:58:30,480 --> 00:58:31,480 It was terrible. 1382 00:58:31,480 --> 00:58:36,480 But yeah, so that's, that's kind of how that is. 1383 00:58:36,480 --> 00:58:39,480 I just focus on the negative a lot, but the positive. 1384 00:58:39,480 --> 00:58:42,480 I do get myself credit for when I have them. 1385 00:58:42,480 --> 00:58:43,480 You got to man. 1386 00:58:43,480 --> 00:58:46,480 I like how you incorporate the crowd into your jokes. 1387 00:58:46,480 --> 00:58:48,480 Cause I've seen you do, there's one joke in particular. 1388 00:58:48,480 --> 00:58:50,480 I'm thinking about, I'm not going to say it. 1389 00:58:50,480 --> 00:58:54,480 I don't want to give you shit away, but I've seen you do crowd work with this joke probably 1390 00:58:54,480 --> 00:58:55,480 five times. 1391 00:58:55,480 --> 00:58:57,480 It's never been the same. 1392 00:58:57,480 --> 00:59:00,480 The way he incorporates the person into the joke has never been the same. 1393 00:59:00,480 --> 00:59:04,480 It's different every time he'll even call back to the person in a different way. 1394 00:59:04,480 --> 00:59:06,480 And I know he's doing it in real time. 1395 00:59:06,480 --> 00:59:10,480 And in my head, I'm thinking if I haven't gotten up yet, I'm like, damn, I'm terrible 1396 00:59:10,480 --> 00:59:12,480 at comedy because it's just so good. 1397 00:59:12,480 --> 00:59:14,480 Like he, he kills it. 1398 00:59:14,480 --> 00:59:16,480 I figured something out. 1399 00:59:16,480 --> 00:59:20,480 I was watching Shane Gillis do comedy. 1400 00:59:20,480 --> 00:59:22,480 He was hitting me. 1401 00:59:22,480 --> 00:59:27,480 He was hitting me with so many funny history jokes that it made me, I was like, I got to 1402 00:59:27,480 --> 00:59:29,480 learn history cause I want to do that. 1403 00:59:29,480 --> 00:59:33,480 And as I was like studying history, cause I wanted, I just wanted to have jokes as funny 1404 00:59:33,480 --> 00:59:34,480 as Shane Gillis. 1405 00:59:34,480 --> 00:59:35,480 Yeah. 1406 00:59:35,480 --> 00:59:37,480 And I was like, I fucking hate history. 1407 00:59:37,480 --> 00:59:39,480 I don't care about any of this. 1408 00:59:39,480 --> 00:59:44,480 And it made me go, it's not that he knows history is funny. 1409 00:59:44,480 --> 00:59:48,480 He's just talking about something that he enjoys or he's something that he's good at. 1410 00:59:48,480 --> 00:59:55,480 So I was really bad at crowd work, not as in like, I don't know what to say to people, 1411 00:59:55,480 --> 01:00:01,480 but I didn't know how I should end it, you know, or like when they cut something off. 1412 01:00:01,480 --> 01:00:06,480 So I started writing jokes that forced me to do crowd work, but I have an exit whenever 1413 01:00:06,480 --> 01:00:11,480 I want to like, so if I'm talking to you in the crowd and you're giving me good stuff, 1414 01:00:11,480 --> 01:00:12,480 cool. 1415 01:00:12,480 --> 01:00:16,480 Now I can have a riffing interaction with you and it's like, I'm good at this. 1416 01:00:16,480 --> 01:00:17,480 Yeah. 1417 01:00:17,480 --> 01:00:18,480 Come on. 1418 01:00:18,480 --> 01:00:19,480 We can say funny stuff back and forth all day. 1419 01:00:19,480 --> 01:00:23,480 But if I get one of those people who are like, no, I don't know. 1420 01:00:23,480 --> 01:00:24,480 Or, you know, they're not giving me anything. 1421 01:00:24,480 --> 01:00:26,480 I can easily get back out. 1422 01:00:26,480 --> 01:00:29,480 So you have like a hard exit. 1423 01:00:29,480 --> 01:00:33,480 Can you get, cause I need to learn this cause I suck at crowd work. 1424 01:00:33,480 --> 01:00:34,480 Give me an example. 1425 01:00:34,480 --> 01:00:37,480 Not one of you, don't have to be one of your jokes. 1426 01:00:37,480 --> 01:00:38,480 Just like a. 1427 01:00:38,480 --> 01:00:39,480 Okay. 1428 01:00:39,480 --> 01:00:45,480 So if I'm like, all right, I got a joke about who I know, what kind of person you are, whatever 1429 01:00:45,480 --> 01:00:46,480 you order at McDonald's. 1430 01:00:46,480 --> 01:00:49,480 So sir, what do you like to order at McDonald's? 1431 01:00:49,480 --> 01:00:55,480 Now I usually, I'm thinking of everything that's popular at McDonald's previously. 1432 01:00:55,480 --> 01:00:59,480 And I'm just writing funny tags that go with the each thing. 1433 01:00:59,480 --> 01:01:03,480 So whatever he says, I'm just going to go to one of those. 1434 01:01:03,480 --> 01:01:04,480 Okay. 1435 01:01:04,480 --> 01:01:09,480 Or if I know where I'm at, I can make a pretty much a good high educated guess. 1436 01:01:09,480 --> 01:01:13,480 Like if I'm out in the middle of Coleman somewhere and I do a joke and he goes, well, I get, 1437 01:01:13,480 --> 01:01:16,480 you know, a McFlurry and an apple pie every time. 1438 01:01:16,480 --> 01:01:20,480 I don't know shit about McFlurry's and Apple pie's, but I can go, oh, that just tells me 1439 01:01:20,480 --> 01:01:21,480 you grew up poor. 1440 01:01:21,480 --> 01:01:23,480 And now you got a little bit more money to yourself. 1441 01:01:23,480 --> 01:01:25,480 You don't forget where you come from. 1442 01:01:25,480 --> 01:01:26,480 That's a lot of people. 1443 01:01:26,480 --> 01:01:31,480 And they just go, he knows me. 1444 01:01:31,480 --> 01:01:34,480 So yeah, it's just that. 1445 01:01:34,480 --> 01:01:37,480 But I don't know if I should have given that away. 1446 01:01:37,480 --> 01:01:38,480 No, come on. 1447 01:01:38,480 --> 01:01:39,480 We're here for college, dude. 1448 01:01:39,480 --> 01:01:40,480 You're the professor. 1449 01:01:40,480 --> 01:01:41,480 I ain't a professor. 1450 01:01:41,480 --> 01:01:42,480 Now I feel like a magician. 1451 01:01:42,480 --> 01:01:44,480 I'm like, ah, damn, I still got to eat. 1452 01:01:44,480 --> 01:01:46,480 They're going to know the secrets. 1453 01:01:46,480 --> 01:01:47,480 You get it. 1454 01:01:47,480 --> 01:01:49,480 Like, dude, you inspire me too. 1455 01:01:49,480 --> 01:01:52,480 Because whenever I see you go up there and do that stuff, man, I'm like, dude, how is 1456 01:01:52,480 --> 01:01:53,480 he? 1457 01:01:53,480 --> 01:01:55,480 Because it's like you're everybody's friend up there, man. 1458 01:01:55,480 --> 01:01:57,480 It's like you already know that person. 1459 01:01:57,480 --> 01:01:58,480 I'm like, dude. 1460 01:01:58,480 --> 01:02:02,480 That's the vibe I really want to give off. 1461 01:02:02,480 --> 01:02:06,480 Not because it's something that I'm trying to be, but because that's what happens a lot 1462 01:02:06,480 --> 01:02:07,480 in my life. 1463 01:02:07,480 --> 01:02:08,480 I feel like that's my natural vibe. 1464 01:02:08,480 --> 01:02:12,480 So I wanted that to show on stage. 1465 01:02:12,480 --> 01:02:18,480 Somebody who inspires me to do comedy, none of those comedians I've mentioned ever. 1466 01:02:18,480 --> 01:02:20,480 I mean, they didn't ever inspire me to do comedy. 1467 01:02:20,480 --> 01:02:22,480 They just made me fall in love with comedy. 1468 01:02:22,480 --> 01:02:27,480 The one person who inspired me to do comedy who's like a celebrity was J. Cole, the rapper. 1469 01:02:27,480 --> 01:02:32,480 That 2014 Forest Hills Drive, that album changed my life. 1470 01:02:32,480 --> 01:02:37,480 So one of the things I love so much about the album was I was relating so much to him. 1471 01:02:37,480 --> 01:02:42,480 So I was like, if I ever do something with my life where I'm creating, I want it to relate 1472 01:02:42,480 --> 01:02:43,480 to people. 1473 01:02:43,480 --> 01:02:49,480 I want it to be nobody's better than me, but I'm not better than anybody. 1474 01:02:49,480 --> 01:02:50,480 I'm right here with everybody. 1475 01:02:50,480 --> 01:02:51,480 You know what I'm saying? 1476 01:02:51,480 --> 01:02:57,480 You get a lot of comedians up there who, I know there's one comedian, he would get upset 1477 01:02:57,480 --> 01:02:59,480 with me because I would make fun of myself. 1478 01:02:59,480 --> 01:03:02,480 I would do something like, you know how we do this? 1479 01:03:02,480 --> 01:03:05,480 Well, I do it worse because I did it this way. 1480 01:03:05,480 --> 01:03:07,480 I remember one time I was like, I'm bad at sex. 1481 01:03:07,480 --> 01:03:14,480 I was just cracking on myself saying I'm bad at sex because I'm mistaken. 1482 01:03:14,480 --> 01:03:19,480 I'm like, okay, mistake, mistake, mistake, whatever, mistaken. 1483 01:03:19,480 --> 01:03:20,480 It happens. 1484 01:03:20,480 --> 01:03:21,480 Yeah. 1485 01:03:21,480 --> 01:03:22,480 Well, I heard the podcast. 1486 01:03:22,480 --> 01:03:23,480 You heard me whooping your ass. 1487 01:03:23,480 --> 01:03:26,480 Sometimes I'll be like, yo, he having a stroke, get him out of there. 1488 01:03:26,480 --> 01:03:33,480 I be wanting y'all to edit in that one black dude from Rocky IV when Drago kills Apollo. 1489 01:03:33,480 --> 01:03:36,480 The boy who's black dude's like throwing the damn town. 1490 01:03:36,480 --> 01:03:41,480 I be wanting y'all to put that up when he be fucking up on words. 1491 01:03:41,480 --> 01:03:42,480 Damn. 1492 01:03:42,480 --> 01:03:44,480 He ain't lying. 1493 01:03:44,480 --> 01:03:45,480 He ain't lying. 1494 01:03:45,480 --> 01:03:46,480 Goddamn. 1495 01:03:46,480 --> 01:03:47,480 Oh, man. 1496 01:03:47,480 --> 01:03:48,480 Y'all crazy. 1497 01:03:48,480 --> 01:03:49,480 Y'all crazy, man. 1498 01:03:49,480 --> 01:03:50,480 Yeah, that's what I be doing. 1499 01:03:50,480 --> 01:03:51,480 He got that up fast. 1500 01:03:51,480 --> 01:03:52,480 Damn, Brandon. 1501 01:03:52,480 --> 01:03:53,480 I watched that show every week. 1502 01:03:53,480 --> 01:03:54,480 That's one of my faves. 1503 01:03:54,480 --> 01:03:55,480 Yeah, man. 1504 01:03:55,480 --> 01:03:56,480 Rocky's amazing. 1505 01:03:56,480 --> 01:03:57,480 A comedian was bad because he kept cracking on himself. 1506 01:03:57,480 --> 01:03:58,480 Because I was cracking on myself and then he would be like, why are you doing that? 1507 01:03:58,480 --> 01:03:59,480 You know, you gotta be this and this and that to these people. 1508 01:03:59,480 --> 01:04:00,480 And I'm like, no, I'm just me, man. 1509 01:04:00,480 --> 01:04:01,480 I'm like, I'm just me, man. 1510 01:04:01,480 --> 01:04:02,480 I'm like, I'm just me, man. 1511 01:04:02,480 --> 01:04:03,480 I'm like, I'm just me, man. 1512 01:04:03,480 --> 01:04:04,480 I'm like, I'm just me, man. 1513 01:04:04,480 --> 01:04:12,480 I'm like, I'm just me, man. 1514 01:04:12,480 --> 01:04:14,480 And they're just them. 1515 01:04:14,480 --> 01:04:17,200 There's no, I'm not better than them. 1516 01:04:17,200 --> 01:04:18,460 They're not better than me. 1517 01:04:18,460 --> 01:04:23,520 I tell them I make mistakes and then I'll tell them how stupid I am, how I do things 1518 01:04:23,520 --> 01:04:25,960 and how it makes my life funny to others. 1519 01:04:25,960 --> 01:04:29,020 Yeah, but I'm like, I really be, I'm my worst enemy. 1520 01:04:29,020 --> 01:04:30,020 You know? 1521 01:04:30,020 --> 01:04:31,020 Yeah. 1522 01:04:31,020 --> 01:04:34,020 So yeah, this guy, I'll never get, he was like, stop telling people about you. 1523 01:04:34,020 --> 01:04:35,020 I'll never get to tell people about like that. 1524 01:04:35,020 --> 01:04:36,020 Then he went up after me. 1525 01:04:36,020 --> 01:04:37,020 He was like, I'm good at sex. 1526 01:04:37,020 --> 01:04:38,020 Y'all. 1527 01:04:38,020 --> 01:04:39,020 I'm so good at sex that I do this. 1528 01:04:39,020 --> 01:04:43,520 And I remember it was the most cringy thing I've ever seen in my life. 1529 01:04:43,520 --> 01:04:50,960 Dude, there's one around here who goes up and, and it's like, I want to rip my ears off 1530 01:04:50,960 --> 01:04:53,360 because he's like, I get in the pussy like this. 1531 01:04:53,360 --> 01:04:55,880 And I'm like, what is happening? 1532 01:04:55,880 --> 01:04:56,880 He's an old dude. 1533 01:04:56,880 --> 01:04:58,680 He's not, he's not like a young cat. 1534 01:04:58,680 --> 01:04:59,680 He's this old dude. 1535 01:04:59,680 --> 01:05:03,160 And he just sounds like he's molesting us with his words. 1536 01:05:03,160 --> 01:05:04,160 That's the worst. 1537 01:05:04,160 --> 01:05:05,160 No, that, you know what it is? 1538 01:05:05,160 --> 01:05:11,880 A lot of older dudes still look at like death comedy gym where that was kind of cooler because 1539 01:05:11,880 --> 01:05:17,120 nobody was talking that real, but now everybody kind of grew up hearing something that real. 1540 01:05:17,120 --> 01:05:18,120 Yeah. 1541 01:05:18,120 --> 01:05:20,240 So now it's just like overly vulgar to us. 1542 01:05:20,240 --> 01:05:23,960 Plus you gotta imagine to every comic, I feel like when they first start out, if they're 1543 01:05:23,960 --> 01:05:27,920 not trying to be clean comics, you're going to curse and be vulgar way more than you need 1544 01:05:27,920 --> 01:05:28,920 to be. 1545 01:05:28,920 --> 01:05:29,920 Oh yeah. 1546 01:05:29,920 --> 01:05:30,920 That's just always how it is. 1547 01:05:30,920 --> 01:05:33,920 When you're like, I'm going to go get my sets back. 1548 01:05:33,920 --> 01:05:34,920 All right. 1549 01:05:34,920 --> 01:05:35,920 Let me cut out some of this person, bro. 1550 01:05:35,920 --> 01:05:38,400 I sound like real, like when I first heard my first set, I was like, I sound stupid. 1551 01:05:38,400 --> 01:05:40,440 I'm cursing every other word. 1552 01:05:40,440 --> 01:05:41,440 Yeah. 1553 01:05:41,440 --> 01:05:44,920 Um, but older cats, I feel like a lot of them still like in that death comedy thing. 1554 01:05:44,920 --> 01:05:47,000 So they were like, yeah, let me show you. 1555 01:05:47,000 --> 01:05:52,600 I had a comedian one time talk about like physically inserting his tongue in the women's 1556 01:05:52,600 --> 01:05:56,400 assholes and he was like going step by step. 1557 01:05:56,400 --> 01:05:59,040 I was like, you gotta stop. 1558 01:05:59,040 --> 01:06:00,040 Yeah. 1559 01:06:00,040 --> 01:06:01,040 It's bad. 1560 01:06:01,040 --> 01:06:02,400 I know exactly who you're talking to. 1561 01:06:02,400 --> 01:06:08,240 He also has a bit like in his act where he like licks the microphone and people have 1562 01:06:08,240 --> 01:06:09,720 to go up after him. 1563 01:06:09,720 --> 01:06:10,720 Oh no, it's cool. 1564 01:06:10,720 --> 01:06:11,720 He's about to be COVID. 1565 01:06:11,720 --> 01:06:12,720 That's what I'm saying. 1566 01:06:12,720 --> 01:06:18,200 He's like, he's like the comedian, like Rudy Gobert to shut the whole fucking thing down. 1567 01:06:18,200 --> 01:06:20,640 To lick a microphone is insane. 1568 01:06:20,640 --> 01:06:21,640 Yeah. 1569 01:06:21,640 --> 01:06:23,840 It's like how many people you think they watch these motherfuckers? 1570 01:06:23,840 --> 01:06:24,840 They don't. 1571 01:06:24,840 --> 01:06:25,840 Okay. 1572 01:06:25,840 --> 01:06:26,840 Hell no. 1573 01:06:26,840 --> 01:06:29,200 When I was a kid, I used to do sound at my dad's church. 1574 01:06:29,200 --> 01:06:32,120 I was like, yo, you know, I'll make sure the volumes are right. 1575 01:06:32,120 --> 01:06:35,480 They pay me $5, sometimes 20, you know, to five became 20. 1576 01:06:35,480 --> 01:06:36,480 I felt good. 1577 01:06:36,480 --> 01:06:41,120 But then I had the deep, I break down on the microphones and I used to smell all the cushions. 1578 01:06:41,120 --> 01:06:43,120 I don't know why. 1579 01:06:43,120 --> 01:06:48,120 Hot, but it would smell like the backdrop of ass, bro. 1580 01:06:48,120 --> 01:06:50,160 Like it would be worse smell. 1581 01:06:50,160 --> 01:06:52,600 I imagine the microphone covers. 1582 01:06:52,600 --> 01:06:53,600 Yeah. 1583 01:06:53,600 --> 01:06:56,400 Because it's just, is that why you smell in the microphone? 1584 01:06:56,400 --> 01:06:57,400 I don't know. 1585 01:06:57,400 --> 01:06:58,920 You know how you do weird things. 1586 01:06:58,920 --> 01:06:59,920 Yeah. 1587 01:06:59,920 --> 01:07:00,920 All the time. 1588 01:07:00,920 --> 01:07:01,920 Yeah. 1589 01:07:01,920 --> 01:07:05,680 My weird thing is I would smell, I was smelling it when I was taking the, I don't know, the 1590 01:07:05,680 --> 01:07:06,680 little, the muff part. 1591 01:07:06,680 --> 01:07:07,680 I don't know what you call it. 1592 01:07:07,680 --> 01:07:08,680 The filter. 1593 01:07:08,680 --> 01:07:09,680 The styrofoam thing. 1594 01:07:09,680 --> 01:07:10,680 It ain't styrofoam. 1595 01:07:10,680 --> 01:07:11,680 The filter. 1596 01:07:11,680 --> 01:07:12,680 Whatever the fuck. 1597 01:07:12,680 --> 01:07:15,680 When I took off the microphone's afro, I would smell the afro. 1598 01:07:15,680 --> 01:07:16,680 Yeah. 1599 01:07:16,680 --> 01:07:19,000 I'm sorry for even telling people that. 1600 01:07:19,000 --> 01:07:21,160 I don't know why I did that. 1601 01:07:21,160 --> 01:07:22,160 No, but you could smell it. 1602 01:07:22,160 --> 01:07:24,920 Cause I, like you, so I didn't know you was a pastor's son. 1603 01:07:24,920 --> 01:07:25,920 Yes, sir. 1604 01:07:25,920 --> 01:07:26,920 See, I am too. 1605 01:07:26,920 --> 01:07:28,520 It was just my mama and she was crazy. 1606 01:07:28,520 --> 01:07:34,640 But no, whenever you got to like put the shit up, you know what I'm saying? 1607 01:07:34,640 --> 01:07:38,680 You just take them off and you smell it and then people like, people have been singing 1608 01:07:38,680 --> 01:07:39,680 on that motherfucker. 1609 01:07:39,680 --> 01:07:40,680 On that motherfucker. 1610 01:07:40,680 --> 01:07:43,200 You get constant hot breath and just from the back. 1611 01:07:43,200 --> 01:07:44,200 Yeah. 1612 01:07:44,200 --> 01:07:45,720 You ever had a tonsil stolen before? 1613 01:07:45,720 --> 01:07:46,720 No. 1614 01:07:46,720 --> 01:07:47,720 I know what they are though. 1615 01:07:47,720 --> 01:07:48,720 You'll get one one day. 1616 01:07:48,720 --> 01:07:49,720 Oh. 1617 01:07:49,720 --> 01:07:52,080 If you ever, if you ever accidentally go, oh, what is this? 1618 01:07:52,080 --> 01:07:53,080 And smell it. 1619 01:07:53,080 --> 01:07:54,080 It smells like pure death. 1620 01:07:54,080 --> 01:07:56,080 Cause it's just been in the back of your throat. 1621 01:07:56,080 --> 01:07:59,720 Yeah. What is that human instinct to smell stuff that comes out of our body? 1622 01:07:59,720 --> 01:08:00,720 Cause we're disgusting. 1623 01:08:00,720 --> 01:08:01,720 Yeah. 1624 01:08:01,720 --> 01:08:02,720 At the end of the day. 1625 01:08:02,720 --> 01:08:03,720 We're so disgusting. 1626 01:08:03,720 --> 01:08:06,120 What's the weirdest thing you've smelled? 1627 01:08:06,120 --> 01:08:09,760 Oh my, uh, my toenails. 1628 01:08:09,760 --> 01:08:13,600 Like whenever, you know, but like whenever you, cause I get, I get a, what's the ingrown, 1629 01:08:13,600 --> 01:08:14,600 ingrown toenails. 1630 01:08:14,600 --> 01:08:16,480 So I got to cut that bad boy out. 1631 01:08:16,480 --> 01:08:17,480 I use a knife. 1632 01:08:17,480 --> 01:08:18,480 I just use a regular knife. 1633 01:08:18,480 --> 01:08:19,480 Yo, that's military Rambo shit. 1634 01:08:19,480 --> 01:08:23,000 Cause I look, it's like you go in there and you pop it. 1635 01:08:23,000 --> 01:08:26,400 And then when you got to get it out of the skin, you got to cut that piece off and then 1636 01:08:26,400 --> 01:08:28,920 pull it the other way so you can get it up out of you. 1637 01:08:28,920 --> 01:08:29,920 And it smells terrible. 1638 01:08:29,920 --> 01:08:30,920 Damn. 1639 01:08:30,920 --> 01:08:31,920 But I always smell like that. 1640 01:08:31,920 --> 01:08:32,920 You're a surgeon. 1641 01:08:32,920 --> 01:08:34,920 I just want to stop you right there. 1642 01:08:34,920 --> 01:08:37,160 See the VA I hope y'all listen. 1643 01:08:37,160 --> 01:08:39,200 There's no reason you should have to live like this. 1644 01:08:39,200 --> 01:08:40,200 Self operations. 1645 01:08:40,200 --> 01:08:43,200 He just gave us a foot operation to break down. 1646 01:08:43,200 --> 01:08:47,520 He said you got to cut that extra piece of skin off. 1647 01:08:47,520 --> 01:08:48,520 He knew the exact maneuver. 1648 01:08:48,520 --> 01:08:51,880 Yo, this man knows the coordinates of dick toe cutting. 1649 01:08:51,880 --> 01:08:56,960 Cut it off and then you smell it. Yeah, I'd say we all know you know, you can't get your foot up 1650 01:09:00,160 --> 01:09:03,180 You said that you could suck your own toe during sex I remember 1651 01:09:03,180 --> 01:09:09,420 Yeah, I haven't sucked my own toe during sex but you said that you could I don't know the story 1652 01:09:09,420 --> 01:09:13,500 You read it. I can't I can put my foot extremely close to my but he did do it 1653 01:09:16,500 --> 01:09:18,500 You also said you could don't do 1654 01:09:21,380 --> 01:09:28,160 Yes, there was a summer in my life that I could don't know you can I swear you cradle the ball 1655 01:09:28,700 --> 01:09:31,440 You cradle the ball. This is his whole thing 1656 01:09:31,440 --> 01:09:34,840 He thinks that I'm coming up there palminate you cradle the ball 1657 01:09:35,440 --> 01:09:41,240 That means you you got to get higher if you play the ball. So you just out there with bunnies just out 1658 01:09:41,240 --> 01:09:45,880 It was not pretty it was not like I'm cocking back like doing a windmill three-state 1659 01:09:46,400 --> 01:09:50,040 LeBron James Miami heat era dunk. I'm going straight up 1660 01:09:53,040 --> 01:09:56,440 I just think I'm gonna notice I thought you stick it. I just don't know 1661 01:09:56,440 --> 01:10:02,640 I don't know about the validity of that statement because you have a joke about how bad you are at basketball 1662 01:10:02,640 --> 01:10:05,440 No, I am terrible at basketball because I play football a lot 1663 01:10:06,040 --> 01:10:10,600 I'm not saying I was a I'm not dunking in game. I'm not dunking in game 1664 01:10:10,600 --> 01:10:15,720 This is not one of those things where it's like, oh I can go like y'all move out the way. I can show you 1665 01:10:15,720 --> 01:10:17,720 Yeah, but no, no, I know what you're saying 1666 01:10:17,720 --> 01:10:23,680 I still don't lateral movements are terrible. I don't believe you're a citizen 1667 01:10:27,000 --> 01:10:31,800 Yeah, you don't believe I can dunk I don't believe you don't have some information 1668 01:10:32,440 --> 01:10:37,360 United States Homeland Security Department. Oh seem is incredibly valuable 1669 01:10:41,600 --> 01:10:44,880 Yeah, I'm always picking on people how'd you get those Cuban cigars down 1670 01:10:44,880 --> 01:10:46,880 I can't tell you 1671 01:10:56,040 --> 01:10:59,840 You ever had a fever dream with Saddam Hussein's bodyguard tries to molest you 1672 01:10:59,840 --> 01:11:12,520 Oh, yeah, I had to happen to me that almost and I hold up let me touch Brandon knows the procedure Brandon knows 1673 01:11:16,160 --> 01:11:18,160 We got to bring this up 1674 01:11:18,280 --> 01:11:23,600 Saturday on Saturday. No, was it Saturday? No on me on Wednesday Wednesday. Yeah 1675 01:11:24,160 --> 01:11:27,120 No, please. Please tell the story. So Brandon tells us 1676 01:11:27,120 --> 01:11:30,760 He goes y'all ever got picked on by somebody with special needs 1677 01:11:33,800 --> 01:11:35,800 So we like nah fam, what do you mean? 1678 01:11:36,800 --> 01:11:40,000 We ever been picked on by somebody with special needs he was like man 1679 01:11:40,000 --> 01:11:43,760 I was real trusting when I was younger when he was six years old. Yep 1680 01:11:44,720 --> 01:11:49,040 Madagascar to came Madagascar. Oh, no, not that not that young 1681 01:11:50,560 --> 01:11:55,600 Brandon temps in his brain by the time but Brandon goes 1682 01:11:55,600 --> 01:12:00,880 He was afraid to cross the jungle gym monkey. Yep monkey bar and his special needs kid 1683 01:12:01,600 --> 01:12:04,960 Said don't worry. I'll hold your legs and carry you across 1684 01:12:05,520 --> 01:12:10,400 So Brandon said okay Brandon said he got about midway through and the special needs dude 1685 01:12:10,880 --> 01:12:13,760 Just slams him headfirst into the ground 1686 01:12:14,560 --> 01:12:17,360 No, it was like this. It was worth hands up like this boom 1687 01:12:18,080 --> 01:12:21,120 Like a whip full range of motion like this guy 1688 01:12:22,160 --> 01:12:24,160 Whipping you kettlebell 1689 01:12:24,160 --> 01:12:29,600 You know kettlebell slam as if he's trying to like put the loose bed sheet over 1690 01:12:30,240 --> 01:12:34,000 Exactly. He's fanny yo ass out on my back on his back 1691 01:12:34,560 --> 01:12:38,640 So I was like dang that's crazy and then brandy said yeah 1692 01:12:39,360 --> 01:12:45,760 So the second time we was like wait what and brandy goes? Yeah, I was real trusting and we're just losing our minds like 1693 01:12:46,480 --> 01:12:51,120 What are you talking about? He said the second time he did we were like brandy you really let him do it a second time 1694 01:12:51,120 --> 01:12:56,400 He said yeah, but the third and final we're like what he said 1695 01:12:56,400 --> 01:13:00,320 Well, the second time he told me he don't really do that. That ain't in his nature 1696 01:13:01,840 --> 01:13:07,760 He just did it so I was like it made me think of the old saying fool me once shame on you 1697 01:13:08,560 --> 01:13:10,000 Fool me twice 1698 01:13:10,000 --> 01:13:12,400 Shame on me. Well fool me three times 1699 01:13:13,120 --> 01:13:15,120 Are we sure he's the special needs? 1700 01:13:16,000 --> 01:13:19,520 What are you talking about? Yeah, there was a lot of questions around those years 1701 01:13:19,520 --> 01:13:22,960 There's a lot of questions around these years. Oh hell yeah 1702 01:13:24,800 --> 01:13:26,800 We fighting now at the school 1703 01:13:29,360 --> 01:13:34,800 Oh, that's that's I mean that's just gold dog. Yeah, we couldn't stop laughing about it. I mean 1704 01:13:35,520 --> 01:13:37,520 We were all in shock. It just doesn't stop 1705 01:13:37,760 --> 01:13:42,880 It keeps coming out and then he was scared that his therapist was trying to avoid him. Oh my god 1706 01:13:43,600 --> 01:13:46,320 Listen, hold on. I want to say this because I feel like people 1707 01:13:46,320 --> 01:13:48,320 They think well it's 1708 01:13:48,640 --> 01:13:52,720 It's an anomaly or he people will think brandon's lying about some of this stuff 1709 01:13:52,720 --> 01:13:55,520 And then what's crazy is somebody would randomly corroborate 1710 01:13:55,520 --> 01:14:00,240 Yeah, like his what his fiance would be like telling him about the time this happened. He's like what? 1711 01:14:00,800 --> 01:14:06,560 He was telling us something crazy and he facetimed the dude and the dude was like, oh you talking about the time this happened? Yep 1712 01:14:07,440 --> 01:14:08,240 Mm-hmm 1713 01:14:08,240 --> 01:14:10,240 Brandon is a victim 1714 01:14:11,280 --> 01:14:13,280 Career victims 1715 01:14:13,280 --> 01:14:18,160 I want you to think of the luckiest person you've ever met in your life everybody who has a lucky moment 1716 01:14:18,400 --> 01:14:20,400 You sent 10 unlucky moments 1717 01:14:21,600 --> 01:14:23,600 And he has to live them all 1718 01:14:24,720 --> 01:14:26,720 He does it with a smile on his face 1719 01:14:26,880 --> 01:14:30,560 Exceptionally young man, I mean the p.co scene was cool 1720 01:14:31,520 --> 01:14:32,480 Remember? 1721 01:14:32,480 --> 01:14:36,640 No, we were talking you caught him banging. Yeah, why that was the face time? That was what the 1722 01:14:36,960 --> 01:14:40,320 Yeah, he caught his two p.e coaches banging and what how were you? 1723 01:14:40,320 --> 01:14:46,160 Like probably eight. Why is everything? Wait, hold on. Wait, wait, wait. Let's see. It was two five. Well, that's one of 1724 01:14:48,480 --> 01:14:50,480 Like 10 11 1725 01:14:50,480 --> 01:14:52,480 Oh, yeah, jewish culture you start becoming a man 1726 01:14:53,440 --> 01:14:57,440 How do you feel about jewish people? Yeah. Yeah, that's the way you look 1727 01:14:57,440 --> 01:15:08,080 Okay, yeah, it's that half germane you look like you have some interesting opinions on israel palestine 1728 01:15:12,240 --> 01:15:16,720 If you lived over there you could probably sneak in either way, but I wouldn't I wouldn't fuck with it 1729 01:15:16,720 --> 01:15:19,200 I wouldn't go over there looking like this. You shouldn't. Oh, yeah 1730 01:15:19,760 --> 01:15:21,920 They might think you're a third party exactly 1731 01:15:21,920 --> 01:15:25,840 Wait, they're like hamas maybe like hagan 1732 01:15:33,120 --> 01:15:35,120 I'm sorry 1733 01:15:45,520 --> 01:15:47,520 You open up for a matthew tate 1734 01:15:47,520 --> 01:15:49,520 I did right. I did. I opened up 1735 01:15:49,520 --> 01:15:54,400 Matthew, I'm sorry. No, go ahead. Go ahead. What you about say I opened up for his uh album recording 1736 01:15:54,400 --> 01:15:59,200 Yeah, yeah matthew tate was one of the dudes who gave me my first shot like hell. Yeah on my first show 1737 01:15:59,360 --> 01:16:04,080 That's good shit. I like man. I like take first. He got some good jokes first time. I did comedy was at uh, 1738 01:16:04,640 --> 01:16:09,440 Boxcar what was then the station for real? Yeah, that was the first I still got the picture of my phone from that night 1739 01:16:09,920 --> 01:16:15,600 Uh, so that's back when matthew tate was running it. Yeah, he was the one that pretty much came up 1740 01:16:15,600 --> 01:16:20,960 After I did my set like shook my hand was like hey man. Keep doing it. You're funny. Keep coming back 1741 01:16:21,200 --> 01:16:24,320 It was times. I thought about quitting and matthew tate was like no 1742 01:16:24,880 --> 01:16:28,720 You got it. You can do it. He told me whatever bullshit. I needed to hear, you know 1743 01:16:29,040 --> 01:16:32,640 Yeah, not saying that he'll bullshit you but I was asking for some dumb shit probably 1744 01:16:33,520 --> 01:16:37,600 You know me I was uh, yeah know me I was asking for something 1745 01:16:38,080 --> 01:16:42,400 Yeah, see tates interesting because he he was the guy and whenever we came up, you know 1746 01:16:42,400 --> 01:16:45,840 We don't we don't we don't know him that well because he just started uh 1747 01:16:46,560 --> 01:16:50,240 Coming back out but whatever but as soon as I saw him at shenanigans 1748 01:16:50,240 --> 01:16:55,520 He did this 9-eleven joke that I love and I was like, I'm sure you do. Yeah, I bet you do 1749 01:16:57,600 --> 01:17:02,400 I bet you do. Yep. Yeah, leave me alone people love when they incorporate 1750 01:17:03,040 --> 01:17:05,760 Is this camera focusing in on me? Yeah, it's always on 1751 01:17:06,640 --> 01:17:08,640 Oh damn, I bet he does 1752 01:17:08,640 --> 01:17:10,640 I bet he does 1753 01:17:12,320 --> 01:17:14,320 America public enemy number one 1754 01:17:18,080 --> 01:17:20,480 You're the one that parachuted out and got tower seven 1755 01:17:22,160 --> 01:17:24,160 God wait 1756 01:17:26,160 --> 01:17:32,320 No, I did I had this art teacher in the eighth grade who showed me the tower seven video and he told me it was aliens 1757 01:17:32,320 --> 01:17:34,960 That did it. Oh, he was also a pervert. Yeah 1758 01:17:34,960 --> 01:17:39,440 I'll oh, you know those teachers are yeah, Brandon knows. Yeah, Brandon knows for sure their neighbors 1759 01:17:39,920 --> 01:17:45,360 Yeah, brandy's i'm getting extra credit again. I already got an a plus plus, but he said there's more I can take 1760 01:17:46,480 --> 01:17:53,200 I'm sure there is but um, no, I used to have a teacher who uh, would talk to me and show me bigfoot footage 1761 01:17:53,840 --> 01:17:59,280 And like his thing was bigfoot was real and that the united states government is lying to us about it 1762 01:17:59,600 --> 01:18:04,160 Because of like the genetic makeup or it'll make us ask like different kinds of questions 1763 01:18:04,160 --> 01:18:08,640 And what I messed up by telling him he was like, do you believe in bigfoot? 1764 01:18:08,720 --> 01:18:12,000 Like he he just was asking on something casual or so I thought 1765 01:18:13,200 --> 01:18:15,200 But he was like you believe in bigfoot and I go 1766 01:18:15,920 --> 01:18:17,920 Well, if you look at history 1767 01:18:17,920 --> 01:18:22,000 You have like the yeti over in asia in africa. They have 1768 01:18:22,800 --> 01:18:24,560 Excuse me 1769 01:18:24,560 --> 01:18:26,560 like these big humanoid 1770 01:18:27,180 --> 01:18:32,560 Gorilla like that looks like bigfoot. Mm-hmm. So I was like, you know what? I think if multiple cultures 1771 01:18:32,560 --> 01:18:34,560 Have a creature 1772 01:18:35,440 --> 01:18:37,440 Maybe that creature exists. I'm not 1773 01:18:37,980 --> 01:18:40,720 Definitely saying bigfoot existed but that makes sense 1774 01:18:40,880 --> 01:18:44,080 I'm not if they went extinct cool if they came out and said dragons were real 1775 01:18:44,080 --> 01:18:47,680 I'm like, I believe that multiple people talked about dragons. No cool 1776 01:18:48,640 --> 01:18:51,200 But I don't think there would be this huge conspiracy to lie to us 1777 01:18:52,400 --> 01:18:56,480 And he said cool. I know I got another brother in the squash like that's what he said 1778 01:18:56,720 --> 01:19:00,960 He started calling bigfoot squat and that's what I was like. Ah shit. I'm a part of it 1779 01:19:00,960 --> 01:19:02,960 You in a cult now i'm deep. Yeah 1780 01:19:03,440 --> 01:19:05,440 You all the way in there i'm getting different levels 1781 01:19:07,280 --> 01:19:09,360 But yeah, that's uh, I had a crazy teacher too 1782 01:19:09,440 --> 01:19:12,240 But why do people go so hard in the paint for bigfoot? 1783 01:19:12,560 --> 01:19:17,600 Like why are they so diet? Like why does it matter? I feel the same way about like um, yeah 1784 01:19:19,040 --> 01:19:23,520 Off of one picture. Mm-hmm. Yeah that the dude said on his deathbed was fake 1785 01:19:24,320 --> 01:19:27,520 Like totally he was like, yeah, that's just not real but people just want to believe 1786 01:19:27,520 --> 01:19:32,960 Yeah, they want to believe that just want to believe all these like sometimes conspiracy theories aren't conspiracy theories are just like 1787 01:19:33,360 --> 01:19:38,400 Something that people trying to hide, you know what I mean? Yeah, like you're talking about like, uh, let's say kennedy assassination 1788 01:19:38,560 --> 01:19:42,320 Or martin luther king's no, it was a conspiracy theory at the time 1789 01:19:42,320 --> 01:19:47,200 But people were just trying to hide that they shot him right true, but some of this shit earth is a fucking dome 1790 01:19:47,360 --> 01:19:52,240 Come on. Okay. Okay, but i'll say this you bet not the no no 1791 01:19:53,040 --> 01:19:57,040 Stay with me. Okay. Okay. Okay, you know people flat earth 1792 01:19:57,040 --> 01:20:00,240 Yeah, and rounder here's here's my thing right? 1793 01:20:00,880 --> 01:20:02,880 Who the hell like why does it matter? 1794 01:20:04,880 --> 01:20:06,400 This is I mean 1795 01:20:06,400 --> 01:20:09,120 Everything my life is not gonna change at least I can say this 1796 01:20:09,520 --> 01:20:16,960 Claimer because y'all might get taken off the internet for this one. I say at least people saying like stuff like okay the whole 1797 01:20:17,680 --> 01:20:18,960 vaccine 1798 01:20:18,960 --> 01:20:23,360 Going okay. That's just the united states government trying to do x 1799 01:20:23,360 --> 01:20:29,520 It's usually someone can go. Okay, maybe I there's a there's an idea there that makes sense 1800 01:20:29,520 --> 01:20:33,520 I'm not saying I agree with it. You're trying to do population control whatever 1801 01:20:33,520 --> 01:20:37,440 Okay, at least a makes gets to be which is yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I get what you say 1802 01:20:37,440 --> 01:20:40,880 But to say they don't want us to know the earth is flat. Okay, why? 1803 01:20:41,920 --> 01:20:43,920 What does that stop us from doing? 1804 01:20:44,160 --> 01:20:50,000 How is that affecting my everyday life? Because if the united states government came out said yeah, bro, the earth is flat 1805 01:20:50,000 --> 01:20:55,280 I was like, all right, cool. I'm the same way I'm the same here. I'm gonna live my life the same way 1806 01:20:55,280 --> 01:20:58,160 I don't give a fuck same. I don't trust them. They can't be 1807 01:20:58,720 --> 01:21:02,400 Because of the physics of it how they do all these calculations 1808 01:21:02,560 --> 01:21:07,680 I'm not disagreeing with you. Yeah, everybody who's learning whatever calculation that is they determine to you know 1809 01:21:08,080 --> 01:21:12,240 To go outer space and figure all this shit out then they would all be learning the wrong shit 1810 01:21:12,640 --> 01:21:14,000 It just doesn't make sense 1811 01:21:14,000 --> 01:21:18,720 I'd say like no way if they want to be like if they're if they're stupid which I kind of 1812 01:21:18,720 --> 01:21:22,960 Think they are because it's such a little argument to 1813 01:21:24,480 --> 01:21:26,240 Take up for yeah 1814 01:21:26,240 --> 01:21:31,440 But cool. Go ahead raise your finances. I hope you all get to space and y'all see that it's round or flat 1815 01:21:31,760 --> 01:21:35,920 I hope that y'all get whatever y'all I would love I just hope they spent all their money to go 1816 01:21:35,920 --> 01:21:39,600 Yeah, just don't do that. Oh just to see that it was round. Nothing would make me happier 1817 01:21:40,160 --> 01:21:43,120 Like they went into complete debt. They fucked up their whole family 1818 01:21:44,000 --> 01:21:46,640 That's when they drank that would really bring joy to my life 1819 01:21:46,640 --> 01:21:52,240 You it's when they drink the pool aid and hit that fucking button the challenger explosion. He's like they end it all 1820 01:21:52,400 --> 01:21:54,720 He's like I cashed in my child's college fund 1821 01:21:55,920 --> 01:21:59,920 I cheated on my wife at a flat earthers convention with a woman named maria 1822 01:22:00,480 --> 01:22:05,440 Who i'm pretty sure gave me an std. I'm just too afraid to go to my doctor figure it out 1823 01:22:06,480 --> 01:22:08,480 All for the name of flat earth 1824 01:22:08,960 --> 01:22:11,040 That's what you want. Yeah, that's wild 1825 01:22:11,040 --> 01:22:16,800 Damn because it's insane to believe these things it is but you got to imagine too 1826 01:22:18,000 --> 01:22:22,320 In there even bigfoot I give you bigfoot because it probably was something to look like a fucking 1827 01:22:22,640 --> 01:22:27,120 Yeah, there was at one point there was like a ape. Yeah. Yeah, the skunk ape or something like that 1828 01:22:27,440 --> 01:22:29,440 No, you're talking about some avatar last airbender 1829 01:22:31,520 --> 01:22:33,520 I've heard that somewhere skunk ape 1830 01:22:35,520 --> 01:22:38,160 No, there's some sort of I think it's the florida version 1831 01:22:38,160 --> 01:22:40,720 And a bigfoot skunk 1832 01:22:45,360 --> 01:22:47,360 You thought about it 1833 01:22:50,080 --> 01:22:53,920 You don't want to know the truth you never wrote you never wrote the white wave, huh? No never 1834 01:22:55,120 --> 01:22:58,960 I'm not gonna say it's fun. But I'll tell you this I freak out when I don't do it anymore 1835 01:22:59,120 --> 01:23:03,440 I freak out when there's boogers in my nose so I could only imagine like there won't be any book 1836 01:23:03,440 --> 01:23:07,280 You'll make sure there's no boogers. You'll burn them out. I'm getting a clean tube right to the brain 1837 01:23:07,280 --> 01:23:11,760 Anything going in my nose freaks me out. You got a deviated septum dude snork up 1838 01:23:12,480 --> 01:23:14,480 Self-solving bro. I'll tell you this 1839 01:23:15,200 --> 01:23:20,160 You look like a floridian who does a lot of coke. Oh for sure. Thank you look like any tampa 1840 01:23:20,880 --> 01:23:22,880 strip club owner 1841 01:23:26,800 --> 01:23:28,800 Brandon you just look like any victim 1842 01:23:28,800 --> 01:23:30,800 Yeah 1843 01:23:36,000 --> 01:23:40,000 Brandon looks like somebody that like got killed on a roller coaster. I feel you do. Oh, yeah 1844 01:23:42,880 --> 01:23:44,880 You get like two lines 1845 01:23:47,280 --> 01:23:50,640 He's that dude they always talk about that got decapitated at six flags 1846 01:23:51,360 --> 01:23:54,080 Yeah, that's brandon over my iphone 5 or something 1847 01:23:54,080 --> 01:23:57,840 You know when people jump out for their phone, oh, yeah, yeah 1848 01:24:00,480 --> 01:24:07,360 Fuck that yeah, you gotta hate you shouldn't have bought that flash pass at six flags. It just destroyed you half your bank account 1849 01:24:08,880 --> 01:24:11,440 Yeah, do your thing bro, i'm telling you i'm here to have a good time 1850 01:24:15,920 --> 01:24:19,360 Yo show I wanted to show y'all a gift I wanted to be the first person 1851 01:24:19,360 --> 01:24:24,000 To bring y'all a gift but then I found out I was third because nico and sierra brought you a gift 1852 01:24:24,640 --> 01:24:27,360 I wonder if you can take it out the box. You can leave it in the box. Oh you brought this 1853 01:24:27,360 --> 01:24:34,000 Yeah, I brought that. Oh shit. Hell. Yeah, do you remember 1990s kevin sorbol? Yes, that's the best one. That's the look 1854 01:24:34,640 --> 01:24:35,600 Come on, baby 1855 01:24:35,600 --> 01:24:41,920 I did that because I knew it was something you would recognize but it's something like that's so stupid because funcle pops to me are dumb 1856 01:24:42,080 --> 01:24:45,440 Uh-huh, because i'm like they're toy dolls, but his generation loves them. Yeah 1857 01:24:45,440 --> 01:24:49,120 I figured a cool bridge for the two of you dude, dude. I got first of all 1858 01:24:49,120 --> 01:24:54,400 That's badass and I do because whenever kevin sorbol used to come on this one. Yeah, zena would come on. Yep 1859 01:24:54,480 --> 01:24:58,800 Zena warrior princess my boo. Hey dog. That was some good shit. Yeah 1860 01:25:00,080 --> 01:25:02,080 He got turned on when I did that 1861 01:25:03,280 --> 01:25:07,440 He got funcos is that oh, yeah, this is my home. That's a black and white muhammad ali 1862 01:25:08,160 --> 01:25:11,200 Yeah, he has a jim crow era muhammad. Oh, what the fuck? 1863 01:25:11,840 --> 01:25:13,840 That's cashew's playing 1864 01:25:13,840 --> 01:25:15,840 You be eating jimmy jams when you sit down 1865 01:25:16,400 --> 01:25:20,000 Oh, no, bruh, that is not catching on dude. Yeah anybody 1866 01:25:20,560 --> 01:25:24,560 Dom thinks jimmy jams is an appropriate way to say hot dogs. That's what they're called 1867 01:25:24,960 --> 01:25:29,200 Nobody call i'm just saying like people go watch this and be like, oh, yeah, I call them jimmy jam too 1868 01:25:29,760 --> 01:25:32,880 Nobody says people say that I don't know people from washington 1869 01:25:32,960 --> 01:25:37,920 I've never asked whenever i've went somewhere and I said I want a jimmy jam with this and this on 1870 01:25:38,240 --> 01:25:40,800 They never questioned me because they probably thought she was meant to be 1871 01:25:40,800 --> 01:25:42,800 And 1872 01:25:43,120 --> 01:25:47,760 They're like we know his car they love hot dogs. Is that what they call them in syria, dude? 1873 01:25:48,480 --> 01:25:50,480 I thought y'all couldn't eat them 1874 01:25:51,840 --> 01:25:56,720 Olly enough they have to eat hebrew international. Yeah, those bitches are fire though. Yeah 1875 01:25:59,680 --> 01:26:02,640 I think all mentally handicapped kids love hot dogs. It's true 1876 01:26:03,840 --> 01:26:08,160 I used to volunteer at a special needs camp every year and that's like for one thing one thing 1877 01:26:08,160 --> 01:26:12,960 They always like a majority of the kids. Uh, would be like I only eat x 1878 01:26:13,680 --> 01:26:15,920 90 of the time it was hot dogs 1879 01:26:16,800 --> 01:26:22,160 It was really interesting. I never understood why what did you do down? I was a counselor at a special needs camp 1880 01:26:22,720 --> 01:26:26,080 That's how you met brandon. Yeah, no, I met brandon 1881 01:26:26,800 --> 01:26:28,240 I met brandon 1882 01:26:28,240 --> 01:26:32,160 Coming through a therapy office. Yeah for real. No. Oh 1883 01:26:33,360 --> 01:26:35,600 He said yeah, like yeah, I know he said that shit fast 1884 01:26:35,600 --> 01:26:39,280 He was ready to play trying to make a quick joke about it by him saying yeah threw me off 1885 01:26:39,360 --> 01:26:44,800 I was committing it. Yeah, he was what if he told you a real story that you didn't remember until just now 1886 01:26:45,440 --> 01:26:50,800 Brod he would be some kind of demon like hell raiser except for the pain happens to him 1887 01:26:53,920 --> 01:26:55,920 I don't know. Mm-hmm 1888 01:26:57,120 --> 01:27:01,120 We're drinking right that signals. I feel good. Yeah, you should you want to suck on this? 1889 01:27:01,120 --> 01:27:06,640 Yes, what it is up with you in this? No, I didn't know if you wanted to because you had your glasses on and shit 1890 01:27:06,880 --> 01:27:11,520 Well, no, I have my glasses on like i'm the wearer glasses on to say you first thing you said is 1891 01:27:11,920 --> 01:27:14,400 Come look at this and then you said you want to suck on this 1892 01:27:15,840 --> 01:27:17,840 I'm the one in the wrong 1893 01:27:18,560 --> 01:27:23,840 Bruh, I want chris hansen to come in here and have uh, now play by play of everything you said 1894 01:27:24,480 --> 01:27:28,880 You asked him if you want to suck on the transcript. Yeah, he got the transcript of just things 1895 01:27:28,880 --> 01:27:32,400 Yeah, you're you're big brown poppy 97 aren't you? 1896 01:27:33,440 --> 01:27:36,480 You asked him if he wanted to suck on what does that mean? 1897 01:27:38,080 --> 01:27:40,080 I just love that show I do oh 1898 01:27:40,960 --> 01:27:45,600 Uh how to catch a predator to catch come on now the uh, I don't know what he was 1899 01:27:45,600 --> 01:27:49,280 But he was brown some kind of brown he came in there butt-necked. Oh, yeah 1900 01:27:50,880 --> 01:27:52,880 Butt-ass neck he was ready 1901 01:27:52,880 --> 01:27:58,880 Yo, yeah, it will be episodes the worst kind of child predator the one that skips the foreplay for real 1902 01:27:59,280 --> 01:28:01,280 Because they would always be the same shit like it'll be 1903 01:28:01,760 --> 01:28:08,000 The uh young actress playing a child and she'll be like come on in there's some iced tea and brownies on the stove or whatever 1904 01:28:08,080 --> 01:28:13,040 It's like i'm going to do this laundry real quick and every now that you have a dude like 1905 01:28:13,360 --> 01:28:15,600 Yeah, I gotta get my dick out before she comes which 1906 01:28:16,400 --> 01:28:18,160 Don't get me wrong 1907 01:28:18,160 --> 01:28:21,840 Predators are just disgusting we can all agree on that. Oh, did it work? 1908 01:28:21,840 --> 01:28:25,760 Hell, they're not the worst. It's the dudes who get butt naked in the damn for you 1909 01:28:26,560 --> 01:28:31,200 The worst is you a different kind of animal. Yeah. Yeah, he was you don't give up. He probably knew it was a trap 1910 01:28:31,360 --> 01:28:37,040 He's like, you know, you would think somebody would go pull up there, uh, get the shorts or whatever 1911 01:28:37,200 --> 01:28:39,200 He just set their butt neck and talk 1912 01:28:40,720 --> 01:28:45,440 What are you doing? Oh nothing. I didn't know I love when I didn't 1913 01:28:46,640 --> 01:28:49,200 A child it's no it's for it was like looking at a child 1914 01:28:49,200 --> 01:28:53,760 Like if you ever have like a niece or a nephew or anything when they lie and you catch them in the line 1915 01:28:54,480 --> 01:28:59,120 They'll go to the like you like I didn't even ask you that yet. Yeah, you're like, so what are you doing? 1916 01:28:59,280 --> 01:29:01,280 She said she was 18 1917 01:29:01,680 --> 01:29:03,680 What I didn't ask you 1918 01:29:03,680 --> 01:29:09,520 Let's just say I didn't know who you were. Uh-huh. Let's say I'm doing some housework. I just came over to ask 1919 01:29:09,760 --> 01:29:11,760 Hey, man, what are you doing? 1920 01:29:12,320 --> 01:29:14,320 I already know you lying, bro 1921 01:29:15,440 --> 01:29:17,520 Already I grew up watching cheaters 1922 01:29:17,520 --> 01:29:24,160 Cheaters with the sardinian stabbed too. He got stabbed in one episode. I was on the boat. Yeah, he uh, he tried to get 1923 01:29:24,720 --> 01:29:26,720 Was this you some niggas said? 1924 01:29:27,280 --> 01:29:30,400 That's when I knew that shit was real sometimes you'd be like, come on this 1925 01:29:31,200 --> 01:29:34,020 You know how you know people say oh we're getting desensitized 1926 01:29:34,960 --> 01:29:39,520 There was nothing better than when that dude was on the boat bleeding and at one point they put the camera on his face 1927 01:29:39,520 --> 01:29:41,520 Because they don't know if he's gonna make it or not. He said 1928 01:29:41,520 --> 01:29:48,080 I don't drop that sir. Oh shit he might die. Like nah that was really good. Cheaters 1929 01:29:48,320 --> 01:29:51,920 Did you ever see the one with the uh, the old couple which one was his old play? 1930 01:29:52,160 --> 01:29:56,480 He went playing no games. He was like you caught me bitch. I told you like that. No, no, no, no, no that's 1931 01:29:57,200 --> 01:30:03,920 Wait, that may be it but this guy he's clearly he's like 50s or 60s and this woman is like you cheating on me 1932 01:30:03,920 --> 01:30:05,920 They confront him. He on a date with another girl 1933 01:30:05,920 --> 01:30:08,880 They're like you she like you cheating on me you cheating on me 1934 01:30:08,880 --> 01:30:13,120 And he like get that camera out of here now like he ain't he's not saying i'm sorry 1935 01:30:13,120 --> 01:30:17,200 No, he was like get that camera out of here now and she's like you cheat on me 1936 01:30:17,200 --> 01:30:20,880 I gave you the best years of my life. He goes look at ho yeah 1937 01:30:20,880 --> 01:30:25,040 I told you who I was when you met me i'm a player from south park like he was not 1938 01:30:25,440 --> 01:30:30,240 Stepping back. I remember watching it and going as a kid like you know, I didn't know this kind of mid existed 1939 01:30:30,880 --> 01:30:35,040 He ain't play no game. He wasn't playing no game and he was not accepting any fault 1940 01:30:35,040 --> 01:30:39,920 Mm-hmm at all like the one she was wrong for bringing these cameras over here. Yeah catching him 1941 01:30:41,200 --> 01:30:47,280 You ain't gonna leave whenever you fucking get done with dinner like he's he he he own some players like no matter how you feel about 1942 01:30:47,600 --> 01:30:49,680 How misogynistic it might be whatever? 1943 01:30:50,320 --> 01:30:54,960 He was on that like I was giving him that I mean, that's an old school. Yeah, you are something 1944 01:30:55,600 --> 01:31:01,760 I can't even teach you anything. You are that that you are that player bro and uh was so crazy. He was 1945 01:31:01,760 --> 01:31:05,920 Just she ruined the day. He said look at you. You're ruining my date. I'm getting out of here 1946 01:31:06,000 --> 01:31:10,320 She she talking stuff like you I ain't never gonna be with you again. He lied 1947 01:31:10,320 --> 01:31:12,720 That's what they all say like he just talking shit right back 1948 01:31:13,680 --> 01:31:18,260 By the end of the episode. She's like, I ain't never going back. I ain't never going back. They may be like the conclusion 1949 01:31:19,440 --> 01:31:23,120 Cheryl took him back two weeks later. It was like bro. He ain't playing 1950 01:31:23,200 --> 01:31:28,400 He ain't back whatever it is. He told he said you doing all this shit when you know, you're gonna be right back with it 1951 01:31:28,400 --> 01:31:33,680 And I think but the truth is you can't be mad at him if he was like that from the jump. Can you be? 1952 01:31:34,240 --> 01:31:37,840 That's what we're saying. Maybe one that's one of the things I try to tell people like when they buy 1953 01:31:37,840 --> 01:31:41,680 Oh, so it's a piece of shit. Usually if I got I don't know them. I'm like, yeah 1954 01:31:42,880 --> 01:31:44,560 I didn't know it was a piece of shit 1955 01:31:44,560 --> 01:31:49,040 But when we all know some somebody's like you knew they knew yeah people tell you who they are 1956 01:31:49,120 --> 01:31:52,080 That's one thing people always gonna do they gonna tell you who they are 1957 01:31:52,880 --> 01:31:58,160 That ex basketball player his uh wife just started an only fan. Oh my god, joe smith 1958 01:31:58,160 --> 01:32:03,520 Smith and then it came out like his wife was like he was I can't believe my wife get naked on camera 1959 01:32:03,760 --> 01:32:07,520 Then it came out. It was like no when he met her she was doing porn. I was like 1960 01:32:08,320 --> 01:32:10,320 Joe, how you mad? 1961 01:32:10,960 --> 01:32:16,640 Are you sure you can't believe that's what you walked in video evidence. This is so much evidence. This is she cool with that 1962 01:32:17,520 --> 01:32:19,200 Yeah, some people 1963 01:32:19,200 --> 01:32:21,200 Some people call it captain savor or whatever 1964 01:32:21,840 --> 01:32:25,520 Yo, whatever somebody want to do and what they're gonna be let them be that 1965 01:32:25,520 --> 01:32:30,800 Yeah, but you can't get mad at her. You can't be like true. She was a fucking porn star 1966 01:32:31,440 --> 01:32:35,440 You wiped her up. It ain't going good. She don't know how to make money 1967 01:32:37,280 --> 01:32:41,600 Fuck hell, yeah, like rock how she make money. Yes. Mm-hmm like you said like rocky 1968 01:32:41,600 --> 01:32:43,840 Yeah, you remember he only knew how to box so he had to come back 1969 01:32:44,000 --> 01:32:47,920 Okay, but you this is this is like the fourth or fifth time you brought up rock you want to watch rocky 1970 01:32:48,720 --> 01:32:52,960 I mean, yeah, I wouldn't mind that was your movie when you were growing up, huh? Oh, no, that's my movie now 1971 01:32:52,960 --> 01:32:54,960 Uh 1972 01:32:54,960 --> 01:33:01,680 Smile on his red and was that a boy's night a boy's night in when we all watch rocky. Yeah, it just eats steak full series 1973 01:33:02,320 --> 01:33:04,320 Full series. So it's gonna be a week 1974 01:33:05,200 --> 01:33:09,520 Side note, this is so stupid. I think crack probably is the best thing for your joints. I've seen crackheads run 1975 01:33:09,520 --> 01:33:14,400 Oh, yeah, flip land from yeah flip. I seen a crackhead run like blade 1976 01:33:14,800 --> 01:33:19,200 Somebody tried to run him over and he just started running and he ran up the car and then landed 1977 01:33:19,200 --> 01:33:24,720 It and didn't even turn around. He just looked at him like motherfucker. I think crack does something great for your joints 1978 01:33:24,720 --> 01:33:29,680 Have you ever seen a video dude jumped off the roof and he came down. He was a crack a pain 20 1979 01:33:29,680 --> 01:33:31,760 I was coming out through he's like my back 1980 01:33:32,720 --> 01:33:39,520 Yeah, it's the funny. I think my favorite I think my favorite was uh, you remember the crate challenge when everybody's yeah 1981 01:33:40,160 --> 01:33:43,920 It's this one. I don't even know if he had crackhead bro, but he's down bad 1982 01:33:43,920 --> 01:33:51,520 He falls and they put the camera right in his face because they want to interview him and he goes when I came down 1983 01:34:01,280 --> 01:34:03,280 That was the realest noise 1984 01:34:03,840 --> 01:34:08,360 Yeah, that shit hurt I know his hips like prisoner of war camp sound 1985 01:34:08,360 --> 01:34:13,560 Yeah, you ever hear a noise like and you just it like it rocks your soul 1986 01:34:14,400 --> 01:34:16,400 blood curdling 1987 01:34:19,880 --> 01:34:21,880 Okay 1988 01:34:21,880 --> 01:34:23,880 Oh 1989 01:34:37,320 --> 01:34:42,920 Are they seeing this? Yeah, they go see I want y'all to know this is amazing. I've never seen anybody 1990 01:34:42,920 --> 01:34:44,920 No, you play I'll tell you what it was. All right 1991 01:34:44,920 --> 01:34:52,120 Oh, okay pause it right now, okay. Hold up 1992 01:34:54,440 --> 01:35:00,600 Right here, this is the first time i've ever seen anybody who's going bald but still have their hair 1993 01:35:03,320 --> 01:35:07,240 He's got the fryer tuck, but he said keep my hair line 1994 01:35:07,240 --> 01:35:14,040 Yeah, but no, I love that's one of the say some things are not okay to joke 1995 01:35:15,240 --> 01:35:19,240 And you just went there my bad, dude, I know that the steroids arrow was 1996 01:35:20,360 --> 01:35:22,200 That's why I got titties now 1997 01:35:22,200 --> 01:35:24,760 Okay, i'm happy. I brought this up what? 1998 01:35:26,600 --> 01:35:28,200 People of america 1999 01:35:28,200 --> 01:35:32,040 Dom has apparently lived the craziest life of all time 2000 01:35:32,040 --> 01:35:39,080 What because he would say something but he'll say it like it's normal. Yes. Don't be like man, you know back when I was in hawaii 2001 01:35:39,720 --> 01:35:41,720 I was driving a convertible 2002 01:35:42,520 --> 01:35:47,160 Those are the good times. I was just doing coke and shooting up with steroids. You'd be like what in the mark walberg? 2003 01:35:48,920 --> 01:35:52,040 Whole time he was in the army whole time. He's just in the way. Yes, so he just talking 2004 01:35:52,040 --> 01:35:58,120 He's like, yeah, I was just you ever smashed a samoan woman while sniffing coke on her ankles like no 2005 01:35:58,760 --> 01:36:00,760 Like it's a lot of surface area 2006 01:36:00,760 --> 01:36:02,760 I 2007 01:36:04,840 --> 01:36:10,040 Every time I see a samoan woman, I always want to like do oh lineman drills. I feel like oh, yeah 2008 01:36:10,040 --> 01:36:15,400 You can run Oklahoma with them. They like they like real cool and sturdy fuck with you then they fuck with you 2009 01:36:15,400 --> 01:36:21,240 You know saying type of shit and that's how the dudes don't like white these whites. Yeah, like over here in the corner 2010 01:36:22,040 --> 01:36:25,480 with the uh, you know why they don't like white people it's a 2011 01:36:25,480 --> 01:36:32,200 Um saying it came in and like took it over. No, it's it's it's about how white dudes when they get drunk 2012 01:36:32,200 --> 01:36:34,200 Because you come to hawaii on vacation, right? 2013 01:36:34,200 --> 01:36:39,720 Right, so when you come when you come to hawaii on vacation you get fucked up and then some what and then the whites 2014 01:36:39,800 --> 01:36:43,880 Uh, you know, these aggressive they're just aggressive whites and there's usually who they be out there 2015 01:36:44,200 --> 01:36:48,360 And then they try to start stuff with the biggest like these dudes are so big 2016 01:36:48,440 --> 01:36:54,760 You can't physically there's no way I could physically do anything to this person because he's that big and they'll just be like 2017 01:36:54,760 --> 01:36:56,920 Yeah, i'll fuck you up and I seen one dude 2018 01:36:57,560 --> 01:37:03,160 He was a bald-haired white dude. He kept on saying some uh derogatory shit about afghanis and then 2019 01:37:03,800 --> 01:37:08,120 And uh hawaii was like, I know afghani stop saying that shit and he was like we'll go outside 2020 01:37:08,200 --> 01:37:10,280 So they went outside and it was um 2021 01:37:11,080 --> 01:37:12,200 There's a brick wall 2022 01:37:12,200 --> 01:37:20,120 He the hawaii dude whooped his ass drug his head his bald head across the brick wall and skin that shit for at least 10 feet 2023 01:37:20,120 --> 01:37:24,760 He's greater. It's greater than and then do do got up and he was like, all right, man 2024 01:37:24,760 --> 01:37:27,960 You were right and shook his hand. Hey, you by the way, by the way 2025 01:37:28,200 --> 01:37:30,760 You know you just proved sci-fi's point by saying that right? 2026 01:37:31,000 --> 01:37:36,600 You just said one of the crazy like american history x in reverse like fucking cheese grater head story 2027 01:37:37,160 --> 01:37:39,160 And you just said it like everybody's seen 2028 01:37:39,160 --> 01:37:42,520 Something like that, you know how you get hawaiians. He just no, no 2029 01:37:43,240 --> 01:37:46,040 I've never seen that just happen to be the skin another man's head 2030 01:37:47,160 --> 01:37:51,480 Graded that shit i'm talking about straight up boom boom boom and was doing it. It wasn't he had full 2031 01:37:51,960 --> 01:37:55,160 These months look if y'all ever come in contact with a samoyan 2032 01:37:55,640 --> 01:37:59,880 Y'all don't want to work because they can move they big like that 2033 01:37:59,960 --> 01:38:04,200 But they can move and if somebody can move they wake that fast. You don't have a yeah, dude 2034 01:38:04,200 --> 01:38:06,200 I saw the rock 2035 01:38:06,200 --> 01:38:10,600 No, let's see now not the rock. They don't be big like that. They'll tell you like this. Look at me 2036 01:38:11,080 --> 01:38:13,080 I'm built like a nine-year-old 2037 01:38:14,680 --> 01:38:20,840 Those are big people they big strong samoyan people are one of the few people that be like what up nigga and black people like 2038 01:38:20,840 --> 01:38:22,840 All right 2039 01:38:23,160 --> 01:38:26,600 We don't say we don't get too loud. No, they could I mean they can say because I ain't gonna stop 2040 01:38:26,680 --> 01:38:33,160 Yeah, I ain't doing that shit then they can kick too. Oh, yeah, you ever seen haku haku? Yeah, dude that rustler 2041 01:38:33,160 --> 01:38:36,600 Dude, they got so many stories about him pulling people's ears out night 2042 01:38:38,120 --> 01:38:42,860 Yeah, i'm talking about a rustling dude wrestling is a big thing in the culture apparently I was watching this documentary 2043 01:38:43,720 --> 01:38:44,760 on uh 2044 01:38:44,760 --> 01:38:48,360 The rocks was the grandfather peter peter mazzi. Yeah 2045 01:38:49,000 --> 01:38:54,920 Yeah, it's a big like over like in hawaii. Yeah, it was a it was like this really cool subculture 2046 01:38:55,400 --> 01:38:59,400 Yeah, they owned the territory in the early 80s with uh, the rocks grandmother 2047 01:38:59,400 --> 01:39:05,160 She was the top dog down there and uh, I remember you had rocky johnson and uh, the wild samoans 2048 01:39:05,400 --> 01:39:07,560 Yeah stuff like that like i'd rather know that 2049 01:39:08,360 --> 01:39:10,280 Ran to be in his house 2050 01:39:10,280 --> 01:39:13,000 4 a.m. With the blue glow of the tv screen 2051 01:39:13,720 --> 01:39:19,720 Just watching wrestling matches from 1984. You're not wrong doesn't forget a single thing exactly 2052 01:39:20,360 --> 01:39:23,240 His girl will be coming in like baby. It's time to go to bed 2053 01:39:23,240 --> 01:39:29,320 It's your time. He's like peter mad dog johnson got two more rounds in him. I know it 2054 01:39:30,280 --> 01:39:32,680 He just kicked out of the 17th pen attempt 2055 01:39:33,960 --> 01:39:38,840 All right, guys, that's the end of the podcast. Yeah. Yeah, it was a good time man. It was a great one with the great sci-fi 2056 01:39:39,320 --> 01:39:42,600 Yeah, yeah, the great sci-fi got jokes, dude. Love them 2057 01:39:43,400 --> 01:39:47,720 Now's your time to go ahead and look in this camera right here and tell the people what you got coming up 2058 01:39:47,720 --> 01:39:53,880 Or where to find you where to find me even though my name is just sci-fi you can find me at sci-fi 2059 01:39:53,880 --> 01:39:56,520 I got jokes on every piece of social media 2060 01:39:57,800 --> 01:40:00,200 Ain't that something even my email is 2061 01:40:02,760 --> 01:40:05,800 It's the only way I could have made sure I got the whole thing so I had to 2062 01:40:06,680 --> 01:40:14,040 But yeah, um by the time this comes out i'll have done two shows. I believe just look out follow me on anything 2063 01:40:14,360 --> 01:40:16,360 Any of those whether it be twitter tiktok 2064 01:40:16,360 --> 01:40:20,040 Uh, if you like hearing stupid high ideas follow me on twitter 2065 01:40:21,080 --> 01:40:25,400 Instagram for sure. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Appreciate it man. Thanks for coming dude 2066 01:40:25,400 --> 01:40:45,400 Thank you. Hell yeah