This week on Clown College.
Encore, encore, encore.
Back again, got the standing O.
Just a quick couple bars for my boys, ready?
Chatting on the podcast with Dom and JJ,
hoping Clown College comedy gets us to pay day.
Can't forget about Brandon with an E,
not an O.
Got scammed by a lady on a radio show.
What?
Damn!
Barth!
Hell yeah.
Good shit.
That's all I got.
I'm Sierra Moses.
Thank you.
Hey, peace.
This is the Clown College Podcast.
We're just a couple open micers
trying to make our way through the scene.
Where we interview comedians throughout different stages of their comedy career,
no matter if they're open micers, headliners, or traveling comedians.
I'm here too.
Jamie 2.0.
I just talk a lot more.
Damn it, Brandon.
Go sit in the corner.
So what are we going to talk about today, ladies and gents?
How have y'all been?
Been good, been good.
Good.
Chilling, dude.
Chilling.
Excited for this new mic tonight.
Oh, me too.
Fat Sammy's.
I've never been there, even just like as a customer.
I think I have because it's downstairs.
Yeah, I did on accident once.
That's what Brandon was saying.
Yeah, I went down there by accident with my sister one time.
And it's in a good location, right?
Very good.
Like, people are always around.
It's downtown.
Yeah, it's on Jefferson.
Yeah, it's on Jefferson Street, I think.
Yeah, it's going to be a crowd, hopefully, a little crowd.
Hell yeah.
Ready to make some people walk.
Hell yeah.
I mean, it's not that far.
We parked right away.
I mean, with my jokes.
They get up and walk out.
Hell yeah.
That's the goal.
I was trying to write jokes and I couldn't write nothing but roast jokes.
So tonight's going to be...
And they were coming.
Yeah.
And for everybody.
So, Sierra's mistake.
That's what I was thinking.
It's like a fucking heat-seeking missile, dude.
The hellfire missile.
Oh, man.
You got to get them.
I haven't written any roast jokes.
I know that's like putting all my cards face up on the table, kind of exposing myself,
but I have not written any.
Well, actually, I wrote one roast joke.
It was for you, actually.
I'll say it right now.
I don't care.
It was, you know, Dom was in the military.
Thank you for your service.
Thank you.
You're a hero, dude.
We love you.
But I'm not going to lie.
I'm not going to lie.
You're a hero, dude.
We love you.
But I said if you would have got killed in Afghanistan, you would have counted it as
two casualties.
Bam.
Get it?
That guy hates shit, bro.
I was at the big war.
The big war.
The Bush War, dude.
Like a good American.
JJ ate shit.
I feel like we have to address Brandon, your mustache falling off.
My mustache falling off.
Let me pick that shit.
This is my alter ego.
What if he just took it off and licked it?
Smacked it back on?
That was a weird ass fucking way I did that shit.
You've got like a full on Hulk Hogan mustache, dude.
I know, right?
That's beautiful.
But that's like NWO.
Hell yeah, Kevin Nash shit.
Fucking Ned Flanders.
I don't know.
Who?
Ned Flanders?
From The Simpsons?
We were on wrestling.
I thought you were naming another friend.
Oh, shit.
Oh, dude.
Wrestling?
He's all over the place, man.
Hey, man.
I know exactly who I look like, Paul Bearer.
I know exactly who he looks like.
Remember how to take care of Paul Bearer?
You got the Paul Bearer mustache.
But you got Jake Muncie's haircut.
Jake the damn snake.
Oh, hey, Jake.
I'll see you later.
There'll be a picture inserted right here.
We're going to look like each other.
We need a side by side picture, bro.
It's got that slight ginger tinge.
Gosh, I hope he's there tonight.
Oh, he's going to be there.
I want to get a picture of Brandon and Jake next to each other.
It's like the reverse Michael Jackson.
That's so good.
It's during the fucking surgery.
Remember that shit?
It's falling off again, dude.
Oh, my.
I love it.
Leave it.
Just leave it.
No, no, not off.
Just keep.
It's because you're trying to put a mustache over your actual mustache.
I know, right?
Has it got like a sticky tape to it or something?
Yeah, it does.
It's like a little fucking line of tape.
So it's like a one use thing.
Well, kind of, but I'm going to get some sticky shit to make it stickier.
You know what I just thought of?
Go get something to rip out your fucking mustache.
No, no, we're going to be careful.
We're going to be careful.
I'm going to be careful with you.
With a K.
I could look like Abraham.
That's all right.
Abraham Lincoln, bro.
You didn't have that shit?
I was thinking Biblicoit.
Nobody calls him Abraham.
Nobody's on the first name basis with the president.
Oh, shit, my bad, Lincoln.
He laughed and it flew off.
You see where I laugh?
This shit just fly off.
Oh, my God.
You know, what you could do is put a little bump on each side of the mustache under it
and flip it up like this, snort Coke on stage.
That's a good idea.
I'm not advocating for using you know
It's gonna be like smarties everybody remember doing smarties not me. I didn't do this shit
What do you mean doing smartie back back while the second grade, you know, I'm young I forgot
They used to snort smarties for fun. Like, you know
Okay, so we just gonna snort smarties. I didn't snort the shit. I was a goody two shoes
They was out there banging back smarties. Oh, yeah, they are banging smarties in each other. Oh, okay. Yeah
I can get down in my school. What not me though. I didn't get shit
You met Magic Johnson
But then when I went home, I was caught a potato head
No, we were we were doing actual drugs
Like where I was from the second grade not like actual drugs, but there was this thing not second grade
Little school. Oh, you're doing this thing called the robo trip. Have you heard of that where you drank the whole bottle of robotussin?
I've heard of people doing it, but I know it's called. Yeah, you know you did that
No, I kind of pretended like I did it though like, you know, I like pour a little bit out and like oh man
Crazy, but I did
I'm not gonna say who it was when my very good friends did do it and then we had a fire drill
So the alarm started going off and he was fucked up. So he didn't know what the hell was going on
He we came back into the school and the lights were still flashing on the fire alarms on the wall
But they weren't making any noise
But everybody was talking and you can hear yourself walking through the hall and he turns to me and he's like, can you say something?
And I'm like, yeah, what's up? And he's like, oh, I thought I went deaf because I couldn't hear the fire alarms
Everybody fucking taught there's like 400 kids walking through the hallway that boys tripping on that lean
And that's why they brought it up to like 21 because of that
It was the flavor. I think it was the flavor jewel pods
Oh first they made them stop selling like mango jewel pods, which is crazy now because you can buy any fucking
Flavor one taste the list but if it's but if it's disposable, I guess you just it's cool
But you can't do it if you're jewel that doesn't make sense. Yeah
I had no clue. I knew they that's why they raised it
Yeah, dude, that's the only thing Trump did that I disagree with me too everything else great
Great politics, dude. I couldn't name a single policy, but I support it. That's what everybody says is support
I just like them because of his policies. I like you the economy
The economy I don't know what the fuck that even means
I'm poor. I probably will be for a very long time
I'm here real
No, dude, you get when you're just one and more than when you get it it tastes so much better
Yeah, yeah, you got a one a little bit see people who grow up with everything
Always being poor ones and heroes who are good, but huh being poor builds character. Yeah
Yeah, there's no interesting shit that happens if you're rich
So everything you know, you're gonna wake up and have food on the table and that's lame as you
Me I say it's a gift to be poor man because dude and you get that shit
I mean well to extent depends how you use it. It's like it's like the symbiotic super spider-man. You see that's why I wore this because
Depends who it goes to that's what I'm saying right here. And that's my message to y'all man
Like just use your poorness wisely because you can get rich on that shit
Fucking look at uh, what's that dude that played basketball to Rose?
What?
You know, he was a he was a he's an NBA player
Yeah, but back then he was poor man and dude that drive got his ass up there
He's six eight and I mean six six and uh has like one of the best
99% athlete that came from the drive. I don't know about that
He's falling on oh dude on the way here I was a it's like traffic right over there
I'm like, oh I want to leap but you know, and uh, I saw a dude pull up right next to me
He had his windows rolled down. He's in a Mustang just blast in juice world
Like everybody could hear it, but I looked at him. I noticed his hair
It was a dude that was in one of my classes last semester. So I rolled down my window
I was like yo, and he was like, hey man, what's up? And I was like we had that class together and he was like, yeah, I
Thought he was gonna be more excited about I thought it was cool
Oh
Fucking thing upside down
At least you didn't do it is one dude did me a bridge
Is it your uncle?
No, what no, not really like I'm saying the way
Situation that happened man, let's see how that bridge Street, you know, I'm gonna be honest. He's a little special. He's past me and
Then he's not a little yeah
Fine, he's there maybe dancing in front of everybody shit. But anyways, I was walking minding my business
Business and he running bro fucking running my sister with were you there? She was there
He was fucking hey, hey, hey tap me on the shoulder and shit and I'm ready to fight
Who the fuck are you think I'm still in something? No, just his ass man. Remember me a high school
The fuck he ran up on you like I was stealing bro, like people got scared you remember me from high school
We were in the same wing
We were the same weight Brandon
You see him
I don't even know
Was parched what I have no clue why were you thirsty? Oh shit
Hold on my bad flabbergasted. Oh flat part
Parts man my flabbergasted
Not even in the same way I'm not parched. I was a little thirsty. I guess
That I was a little yeah, I got some boba. It's pretty gross
That boba is nasty. No, no, you gotta get at the right place though, man. That shit with the balls in it
Yeah, you gotta go. I want to eat my drink. I just don't understand it. You gotta go to kung fu tea
That shit is so good. You've been a kung fu tea. No, I have no they got like milk in it and shit
Yeah, I mean you could do milk you could do I mean you could change it up
You don't fuck with milk. Nah, don't touch the stuff. Sonic has slushes. Remember that?
Flushy boba. Oh, yeah. Yeah. No, I knew that dude know what you're talking about. I have no idea what you're saying
You got the boba things with a she boba. Yeah, it sounds terrible
It was I think they was real little small milk but milk in that. Oh, no
No, it's just regular you get blue coconut blue ocean. You just got a little bit
I'll do the ocean water from Sonic doesn't work. That's my shit. You get that r44 size
It's basically like fucking gallon. Yeah, what about vanilla? I
like vanilla coke
Vanilla slush. Yeah, they got a vanilla slush. I never had that so good. Really? Yeah, that's really good
Huh? I got opposed to it, but I don't know that might be too much vanilla
But is it ice cream or just straight slow? No, it's straight slush. I don't know
It's good
Like I recommend y'all to try that. But nothing else nothing just vanilla and it's just vanilla and ice. Yeah
Now I'll try it right there now I'm on board if you got that pop culture
You got that pop culture from the early 90s and one of the worst rappers of all time
Go to Sonic ninja rap was that shit?
Never heard it. Go ninja. Go what what is it?
I only heard baby got a new ninja turtles and vanilla ice did the song for him go ninja
Go wait, which one the first one or the second second one? Oh now I know about the second one
But I never heard that song Brandon. He's having one of those things where he thinks we just play along. I mean
Brandon does know a lot
1908 man like shows and shit. What show was you watching from 19? Well, I wasn't watching this show
He's running the worst what said is, you know in 1915 they hit with fucking KKK
Birth of the nation saying remember Thomas Edison. Oh, I do remember birth of an eight. Yeah, that was
Hit and people to have protesters. I was cool like 1915. That's crazy
It's not really crazy
If you can go back to anytime ever where would you go you'd be immune to like racism and
And all that shit and diseases you get to stay there for a week
I'm going to like ancient Greece and I'm gonna be a philosopher, but I'm gonna be like the first stand-up committee
Where I'm just saying philosophy, but none of it makes sense. It's not actually supposed to help anybody with their life
You're just supposed to laugh
It's pretty sick. Yeah, they don't kill you though. They probably they killed Socrates just as he asked a lot of questions
Yep, exactly. They don't fuck you up over there telling you
Asian Greece, I don't think like anybody had a sense of humor before like
1800
Oh
They had to have though because there were people yeah, everybody let you somebody falls you laugh yeah, you know
Well, I do like Charlie Chaplin. Yeah
No, uh, no words. Oh the silent me. He just fall ahead of his head and shit
We should start doing our podcast like a silent movie where it's just like we're like doing something and then oh, that's a skit idea
We should make a silent movie
And you know, it's like a whole frame where it's just one sentence on a black and it's playing some like shitty music
Yep
Comes off and we like a 1970s rock band with drugs and shit
No, no, no, hear me out I'm saying it's a different skit no, it's the same but you have to hear me out
We 1920 they like and action soon. We finished like Charlie Chaplin somebody pull up with the cocaine
I'm kind of into it and then they have a fallout and then they get old
Next step fine cocaine
Snort some creatine will be there. So what year what about you? What year about you man? What?
What year do you time would you travel back to? Oh, I forgot I asked the question
But I would go back to Egypt when they were building a pyramids like right when they were about done with it
Yeah, you could have win either way
Wait, man, you could have been the one telling people. Yeah or been one of the ones building. Mm-hmm
You got that ambiguousness about mm-hmm. Give me some sandals like Jalen where
I'm good. That's all I need socks were not invented
Straight thong sandals out there
Where you going? You tell me what year would I be born away?
You would I just go to you get you get to stay there for a week. Okay, everything you still can get killed
Okay, well, I mean if racism not there maybe 30s 40s
See that's it. And that's a good one now in the US
They just see you as a white guy a white guy in the 40s and 50s, but that's his disguise
Yeah, right my alter ego it just but if the mustache falls off your cover
Like wait a minute
It'd be like that scene from life when they were trying to get them fucking you remember that breakfast they wanted
Yeah, you remember you remember on life with any Murphy and when they're trying to get that what were they trying to get the pie?
And they're like how much money will take to turn these whites only pause to the nigga pod
And the shotgun came out I turned you into a nigga
What was the Eddie Murphy? I'm good. Yeah
My Lawrence you said about 20 miles down the road. Yeah
Yeah, I saw that like so many times man, hell yeah and nobody doing that I'll be that baby's daddy
jangalang jangalang
So you don't know nothing about it day
We got I know I've no I gotta write you a list of black movies that you gotta watch
Mm-hmm. You've seen Friday all of them. Oh, I've seen the first one
Oh, that's the best one, but the next Friday is the shit to actually all of them funny. Yeah, how many are there three?
You got Friday next Friday then Friday after next Friday after next with cat Williams
Terry Cruz poster
predale cat Williams
Three well, I think this is before this is right when he was about to blow up. Got you. Wait, there's three of them. Mm-hmm
Friday next Friday Friday after next
They're all bang. Hmm. What was the second one then? Like what was it Mike next Friday? Well Mike s when they was in?
Oh, yeah that Rancho Cucamonga
Wasn't pink in there. Yeah, okay good. Good. Yeah. That's that's it. All right. I got it. It's a good show Joker
Don't look at me home
Yo, you know they make a new rush hour though
Oh, they are waiting. No, my bad Beverly Hills cops. They make a new fucking Beverly Hills cops with Eddie Murphy. Oh
And I'm down for that. He playing like he gonna do all the shit too. Yeah, I'm down for that
The Beverly Hills cops are all that shit 48 hours that shit too
For you young bloods if y'all watching these some banger movies true that they come out with bullshit though now
Yeah, like in terms of comedy a hundred percent. Yeah for the whole movie industry is kind of fucked
But yeah, but like you'll have like stuff with good stories
But the acting shit or stuff with shitty acting and good stories that can never like get it all the way together on these streaming services
Yeah, and it's just a money grab. I feel like just putting out a movie make some money
It's not like there's no artistry man. Mm-hmm for real. You do need that shit
You seen that new movie coming out that's fucked up called like CGI Gator
Yeah, I would be down to watch that though, dude. It's funny
Fuck because they're acknowledging how bad they're like graphics are so you're like look at this alligator floating in the air killing all the kids
Going to high school is funny like the trailer I showed her
It's like a parody of like a superhero movie here
Here's of a it's a horror movie. Yeah, like a horrible like a mag, you know, like yeah
I'm not sure a parody of one of those I don't understand you have to be brain dead to enjoy those movies
I feel like which ones like the mag or like I swear the sci-fi channel
Like have you ever watched the sci-fi channel? They have like giant octopus versus mega alligator like some bullshit like that
There's this one movie I watched called ice spiders and it's like in the it's like in the Antarctica or whatever some secret government
Base and they're doing tests on these spiders and they get real big and that's the whole point of them. It's fucking terrible
See those those movies when you get done with them, you're mad that you watched them. Yeah, but you still watching
Yeah, you're sharp Nato's on
I watched on a lot of NATO though. That's a there's like nine of those movies. Yeah, but they're so bad
They're good and they know what they're playing into it
I can get down with that dude this scene where he's like standing there with the chainsaw and the shark flies and like
Eat somebody like chainsaws his way out of the shark
What about cocaine bear, bro? Oh, yeah, I thought it was good. That was all right. I didn't watch it
You gotta watch it. That show is so it's so stupid. It's good
My favorite is to watch the fucking like Indian Bollywood movies
Where I like the original ones, but also like the remakes they make of like Western movies. That shit is funny
But the Nigerian movies go crazy. Oh, dude. I was just go watch go watch Saving Captain Alex
It's it's the craziest movie you'll ever see. It doesn't make sense. It's on YouTube. It's free to watch. It's my favorite
I'm watching that tonight. He's like riding a tiger that turns into a helicopter like no
There's no plot. It's just like the coolest thing a nine-year-old could think of they actually do
And they're like swinging on vines like shooting guns, but the effects are so bad
It's like little emojis pop up for like the flash on the gun. It's terrible, but it's awesome
I'm watching that too
Hell yeah, I'm watching that tonight. You guys wanna watch some clips?
Hell to the yeah
Clip of the week
We
Like I had a sergeant and he was this big black guy kind of look like LL who?
He did trust but yeah, these small-ass legs and he like walk like this never really catch up to his knees
He looked like a paraplegic
Thanks for not in you
Boys he would tell me about
Oh
Then I love that Joe me too appreciate it I learned how to fix it at the show
Yeah, December 4 shout out Carson Elmore Ash Kennedy for hosting it. Yeah, and it was shot veteran show at the shop
It was fun. It was really fun
But I fixed it because I instead at that time I was like any moaned but now when I did it there I
Just said the whole thing like I did the voice and moaned first and then I was like, you know
Just addressing it. Could you imagine taking orders from this guy? It's funny, man
I appreciate the moan shit. I love it
I think that's like a real issue that people have because I've known of other people that do that
It's like they just make a noise after saying every sentence. It's like whatever the fuck
It's like whatever the fuck Bruce Willis has where he can't speak anymore, but it's the opposite
You just make extra noises, but it's not Tourette's. Yeah, it's just like
He said what is wrong with you soldiers?
What the fuck is that you ain't nothing but a bully song car you my boss
Ain't you big as hell? You just shouldn't be moaning like this after you
Have you say words? So I know being gay is not a choice. Some people just born like that. He ain't gay
I'm telling you that guy at all. He's got he's got a wife and everything
He just has the softest voice and moans. Did he moan why watch you pee in the cup?
No, he would never he was he was he was a staff sergeant. I don't got to do that. He's too good for that
Why was that my pee or my fucking middle school teacher? Remember that scientist teacher?
I was telling y'all about that dressed up my Madea shit need to always pull up and be cussing this shit
And then I was like can I cuz he like your ass you can't cut
Yeah, get out my fucking room weird ass shit. You know what I mean? Just cuz I was I was like, well
No, cuz I think if you if you can say if you can call us asses and shit and cuss us out
Why can't I say damn you like this my damn classroom?
He had his big-ass fucking not in his head and shit like a dinner roll
like Logan's Road house every time
I am tumor. Yeah, probably like hell boy
We're tight shit and stuff and always walk like this, but he said he wouldn't gay nothing wrong with that. He's good
Oh, yeah, I'm good. Oh, yeah, I'm good. Oh, yeah, I'm good
The last unfortunate truth that I've learned in my life is that child soldiers are non-issues
Because if you keep them around long enough, they're just regular soldiers
They stay alive. They just get older. They're no longer children
It's really self-solving problem
Therefore it's not really a problem at all
I don't know how much I believe in crime. I
Like those back to that
Child soldiers aren't a problem. I do not believe in crime
But yeah, I mean say what you want about the joke dude. The logic is solid. Yeah, I like the joke. I love it
That's why I put it on here
I know it didn't get the pop there, but have you said you have you done that joke anywhere else besides box?
I was gonna do it before but I forgot that I forgot that part
The joke the whole joke is three unfortunate truths that I've learned
And the first time I only said the first two I just forgot the third one
I was like I'm about to say three unfortunate truths and I only said two and I was like, that's my time
But yeah, I like that joke I thought of that when I remember this old YouTube video that came out
Like 11 years ago is called Kony 2012 where this dude in Africa had like gathered up an army a child soldiers
And somebody had made a video about it trying to expose him and like bring awareness and shit
I was like that was 11 years ago
Yeah, if the children were like between the ages of 7 and 12, they're all adults now, so they're just regular soldiers
It's like the opposite of
Like die the hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain it's you know die the child soldier
Just live long enough to be a normal
It's like playing football as a kid, you know what I mean?
You get all these you up there playing football wrestling. You know what I mean? Then you go to state
Yeah, sometimes your first wrestling match is publicly televised. Oh, yeah, like my ass man. That's shit. What you had a publicly televised
Yes, I did. Should we insert it right? You know what the fuck?
Yeah, you got it on channel for you. Yeah. No, Joe. You probably searched this shit up man. It's looking wild
I do I guarantee you if people found that clip and like understood the backstory behind it
They'd play it on their podcast and just die laughing. Oh, yeah, what happened? Okay, so what happened was I was brand new
I was very because I joined this shit to get strong. That's why I joined
I was like, you know, man
I want to be like whooping ass cuz I'm gonna put somebody this corner and shit and then I went up to do
And I told but like man, I'm gonna get built and whoop your ass. He's like, oh don't do that
That's weird shit to tell me but I did do that
I joined wrestling and I was asked like they literally chased me around the thing because they were trying to tough me up
They're like we're gonna try to whoop his ass in the corner and shit
And then my coach is like Brandon
We need you to go to this regional singing Russell for us because we don't have enough people because dude we will pull up in fucking
Jeans and shit and a normal shirt. I pull up in the spider-man shirt or something
We were getting our 2d 2 singlets, but I pulled up in there got my ass. Well, it was so bad
They thought I was dancing they laughing at me. I'm out there kicking at him
You can't kick and wrestling that's fucking illegal and then usually because this is the state where I will come and warn you
I was like man, I'm brand new don't whoop my ass
But thankfully I got better and I mean shit one day if you ever see me I'll show you the Amazon
You glad a man play the Amazon. I got you
I'm saying you gonna say you gonna fuck somebody
Don't think I'm pussy
You got dude, hey, you have two crazy eyes. I've never seen him do that before do that. Hey, oh, yeah
Oh shit, Brandon. If you told me you were a child soldier. I would not be surprised
Okay, that aligns with everything they would have manipulated me man. Oh, yeah, they would have got all of us
We're gonna be like brand you want do that shit. Anyway, Brandon would fall for the Isis sales. Yeah
Hey, man, you just put this jacket on go over there. Press this button
72 verts right after oh shit. It's how old I was I was desperate as a child sometimes man
He was what I was a desperate ass kid a man. I was like 14
shit
What's going on? What do you mean?
Okay, I would have took it. Oh, okay
They would offer that they were like you get 72 first shit. I would have fun. I would I'll be there that'll make 73
I would have been a fucking war you all that's all you had to say
I remember they were always trying to get me everybody brand if you come to the military you be on TV
I just give me some bitches. No, not now not now
Now
And I don't think you could follow it so hold on hold on I got you that was Rick talking this is Brandon
Rick is a crazy guy my bad. If you don't know Brandon is sitting right over here in the corner
I swear dude when he takes the fake mustache on and it's just his real mustache that is black Jake Muncie, dude
That's him. Yeah, dude
Every room they walk into man shit
I like horses
Fucking kill a horse bitch
It's a good Jake and I'm gonna say you sound like
He's been back I got a perfect the dude part because dude that dude is all like the hit a dude is so iconic
But you know what I mean, dude, I'm like man. I gotta learn that man
Dude is so cool man. Shout out to you. I say dude
It's like my damn
All right, so that's it for our part this interview coming up next gonna be a great one, right?
Yeah, she's gonna spit some game put us on some bars. Maybe if we're lucky she's been known to
It's in her character. She's been known to do it. All right, and we'll see you in a second
Ladies and gentlemen boys and girls
Today I'm gonna tell you some real shit that's about to happen. You're gonna see two contestants
You've heard of Larry versus bird
Muhammad Ali versus Frazier, but if you ever heard of two greats like Clyde Elrod and
Roscoe Renafian
These two are gonna go head to head class to class
Before we start seeing some cool real shit. We're gonna show you what these two have to say these two fucking gladiators. Let's go
Right now I'm here with a legend I'm a big fan I grew up watching this man
He's the fucking man. His name is Roscoe Renafian
What you gonna do out there? Well, yeah, I'm Roscoe Renafian and you know what I'm gonna do
I'm a tears little boy up because he needs to know he needs to know this is where it's at Roscoe's town
Yeah, this is Roscoe's town man. I was a little boy. No mustache. None of that shit
None of this hair are bald and shit and this is the only thing that's gonna happen
None of this hair are bald and shit and this man inspired me. He really did you inspired hundreds man?
Thank you for that shit. Well, I'm appreciate now. I'm sorry about your uncle doing that to you
What we're going what we're going for here is a nice glass of whiskey a good old whiskey
Crown because I'm classy, you know a nice kachiba
You know because I'm rich because I'm the best
I'm the seventh time world champion god damn it and this little young motherfucker thinks he's gonna come and take my crown
Hey, oh no, you think you're gonna come around and mess with this guy Roscoe fuck all that
That's my man. I got all his pictures. I got his shoes everything even his own cigars. It's his brand
I'll see you December 25th. You're gonna come early bitch
Today I'm here this evening with a man who claims to be a horseshoe racer. He's new he's saying he's up and coming
He always got that dip even though his shot saying shit. Here is Clyde Rodman
You talk a lot of shit man. I'll knock that mustache off your face
Continue on man Roscoe Raynathan look like a grasshopper with Parkinson's
You got a nickname. I'm sorry. I never really met you man
That's why I don't know how you're doing like honestly, you got to respect the business
Hey, you might be cool. We can hang out at the good beers. No. No, I'm sorry about what your uncle did to you
But you can't do that to me here man
What am I uncle did?
Was do some shit. I'm not gonna talk about on this broadcast, but just know it's okay
That's part of the family plan with me man. It's alright. It's alright. It's hard to pitch shoes in a teddy bear suit
You heard him folks. It's hard to pitch shoes in a teddy bear suit
Well before we close out of here, do you have something to tell the audience and everybody that's watching right now?
Yeah, the top three greatest athletes of all time are Larry Bird Luca Donchich and Arnold Palmer
The fucking despair he just said that's it folks. See ya on Sunday
I tell you what come December 25th. I'm not only gonna win
I'm gonna dominate because to me pitching shoes is a way of life. It ain't a fucking game
Understand this a little sport we got to come out and play but for me pitching shoes is my life. It's my culture
It's my bread and butter. It's everything I fucking do what you got to understand is
Isaiah Thomas scored 60 points after his sister died in a car accident. I got seven child support payments, dude
What the fuck you think I'm gonna go out there and do I ain't gonna miss I can't fucking miss Roscoe
Ray Nathan couldn't hit water if he fell out of a fucking boat. You understand me?
He couldn't hit the broadside of a barn. He's got alcoholism. He shakes. He's got fucking Parkinson's disease
I fucked a girl with a horseshoe one time. That's how I invested I am in this shit
I had one end in the pink one in in the stink
Turn that vibrator on metal started clanging together sound like a damn LMG shooting a gong
You understand me the old saying is close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades and I tell you what I'm be fucking closer
Come December 25th. You understand what I'm saying to you? This ain't an opinion. This is facts. You can write it in stone
I've been doing this for a long time boys
Long time seven years seven years. I've been at this pitching shoes
And I'm the best, you know, I don't sugarcoat around it, you know, I don't beat around the bush
I am the best when I go home. None of this comes off. You understand me?
This is how I live eating shit
right here shoes
That was some wild shit, huh?
Well, then guess what on Christmas Day December 25th, you want to see some crazy shit?
You want to see people like King Kong a Godzilla?
Then come on down and pay I know I'm gonna be there
I'm gonna be there
Shoes
Oh you fucked up, okay
So we got we got Roscoe Ray Nathan and then you got you got Clint L
Right Roscoe Ray Nathan and then you got Clyde L right got two of the greatest horseshoe races
I've ever seen in my life Roscoe Ray Nathan and then Clyde L Roy
Today we have two of the greatest horse shooters I've ever seen we have Roscoe Ray Nathan and then
Getting us off L Roy
And this motherfucker Brent what's your name?
Clyde L Roy
I tell you we're gonna round him up. That's what we're gonna do. We're gonna round him up
Hell yeah, we're gonna round him up like a monkey with no ass now
Tell them how bad you gonna find
Randy st. James ain't gonna take shit from me
What's your name? Clyde L Roy
It's Michael Jordan. It's Rocky and then it is my nigga. Oh can't say that word
Should I try to do a backflip and throw it?
Can you back do a backflip?
No
Hell no, you will die dog
You gonna be there? I know I will
This week's featured comedian
Something I realized recently your name impacts your personality and the person you are 100%
I think your name impacts your personality
Impact your personality and the person you are 100% I think your name impacts who you are as a person
A couple of real-world examples
Raise a hands in here if you know somebody genuinely cool named Eugene
Oh, oh, oh, oh, one hand up because he wants to put his hand up for attention everyone else is telling the truth
Nobody cool named Eugene exists
If you name your kid Eugene you're setting him up for social failure alright
Names matter
Example number two I once turned down a really hot guy for a date
Because his name was Keith Moose
Deal breaker, names matter
Today we have a very special guest as always
You know the comedian we have for you today is multi-talented
Singer-songwriter, actress, social media star, hilarious comedian
Amazing rapper surprisingly maybe the only great rapper to ever come out of Salt Lake City
Where Utah is a state honestly
We are we have the pleasure of having Sierra Moses on the podcast today
Thank you guys so much for having me I am so stoked to be here
Hell yeah we're stoked to have you for real
And she's a beast ladies and gents
Like I haven't seen a room where she hasn't murdered
I don't care who it is
I am homicidal
Yeah I saw you do 15 at the speakeasy one time
And normally if it's a 15 minute set that's when I'll take my bathroom break
You know I don't feel too bad because I still see a lot of the comedians jokes or whatever
But I stayed for the whole 15 and I have to piss a lot
Thank you I did way too much Mormon stuff during that set I appreciate you sitting through it
That was funny though people liked it
Thanks yeah
I had so much I was trying to chop it down
I'm like I had to do all of it and let's see what gets last and that's the whole keep
So you're a raised Mormon?
Or you are Mormon? Are you still Mormon?
No I was baptized Mormon when I was 10 for real for real so my grandpa is Mormon
My mom was one of seven kids that's typical pretty typical
And she and all of her siblings left the church at one point or another super you know disappointing to my grandpa
Almost as disappointing as when she popped me out at 21 with no husband but here we are
Cool
Yeah and so she didn't raise me Mormon I kind of took an interest in it just because all my friends were Mormon
Growing up in Utah a lot of people are Mormon so growing up in Salt Lake I knew a lot of kids who were Mormon
All my friends were going to church was like a social activity it was something everyone talked about
And so I wanted to go just because a lot of my friends were
My grandpa used to read me the book of Mormon like when I'd go have sleepovers there and he baptized me
And I was like cool for him he was really excited about that
So it was cool like I have a relationship with my grandpa in part because of that
But the religion I kind of stepped away from in high school I was like this is not for me
Right
Yeah 13, 14 I was like mm mm
So I've met two Mormons and this is my thing two people and I got you
Yeah
Two people from a demographic I'm here but they were both really really nice
Yeah very nice people
Is that what it is?
Yeah they're really polite
Mormons are really nice people
Yeah
And they're cool too they were cool I didn't know like the whole thing I didn't know they were Mormon for years
And then I was like oh it was one of my lieutenants
Oh you're Mormon? He was cool as shit
Yeah yeah a lot of them were like just really cool normal people
I mean yeah there's stereotypes and I make jokes about Mormons all the time
But a lot of them are just like really nice generous people who just have a couple of beliefs that are a little questionable
Who doesn't?
Your grandpa would be proud though I learned more about Mormonism during her set
Yeah that can speak easier than I have ever have otherwise
I went to Salt Lake City with my grandma we're not Mormon or whatever but we went to like the Tabernacle
The genealogy shit but I had no idea I didn't know you got your own planet
That's kind of dope she almost sold me on it dude
Hold on what happened now?
So the whole thing in the Mormon religion like if you follow all the right rules do all the things right
Go on a mission go to church every Sunday then after you die you get to become the god of your own planet
I think that our god at one point was just a regular human on his own planet he did all the right things for his god
And then he got to become our god
You know what I'm down with that
The whole cycle the whole loop weird
That's interesting
I'd be down with that better than you'd rather be a god of a planet or go to heaven
No
Which one?
I'd just say heaven I don't think I need the power I just need the community
Dude if you reach that mental nirvana it doesn't matter where you are dude
You can be in a 7-eleven bathroom for the rest of your life
Should I have a peach high noon in my hand?
Little sun come on couldn't ask for more some good friends
Hell yeah
This might be heaven dude all the bright lights in here
Holy shit did I die and go to heaven right now?
You are the first guest to bring us a gift
Oh yeah do we want to do that now?
Second we got to say second
Who was the first?
Nico right behind you
Pull it up pull it up
I forgot to bring it up
This was some of Brandon's equipment he brought from home
Oh hell yeah that's so cool that's way cooler than the gift I brought you guys
Fuck
He paid a whopping $3.98
It's still the same
It's a size medium if anybody's interested
That's a bargain at twice the price
When he came in with it I thought he just had a bike
That's the normal assumption
He came in with a motorcycle but now he bought that just for y'all
He wears biker type outfits dude
Yeah okay so you guys were talking about all the wall art you guys have
Or how you wanted more wall art on the last one
Have you seen it yet?
No no I haven't seen it
So this is just some spare wall art I had laying around the house
I love that dude
You don't feel obligated to put all of it up
Oh no it's all going up
Not all winners
We're redoing that
So we got a world map
There's more
Hold that
Okay hell yeah
You don't yeah
Damn
We got a glory shot from the breakfast club
Hell yeah dude
Breakfast club glory shot
Oh shit okay
Now that's that might be sad right there
Look at those gloves
Yeah we got quite the selection
You know I didn't know what you guys liked so I wanted to bring a variety
Feel free to keep one or all
And then that's some COVID art I did when I was really depressed
For real?
Yup
This is yours?
Dom's holding all this shit where I can't see
My bad my bad my bad
I like put tape on it
I like put tape on it and paint all the different colors blue
And then I like did a round with Sharpie
It's not my best work but you know what
We're gonna sell this
It's the heart that counts
We're gonna flip this one
Yeah flip it for like two grand
And then some sweets
Some ties
From Trader Joe's I love Trader Joe's
See because Dom didn't pull through with the desserts
There's only two in there I'm sorry I didn't bring three
And then oh yeah this is just like a tapestry that I ordered that I accidentally got in the wrong size
So it's like weirdly small but it would go on a wall somewhere if needed
Hell yeah
Oh damn
We got wall art now
So you got some choices just some options
I mean peruse inspiration if nothing else
Oh yeah what now what I'm thinking is
What is the breakfast club of Huntsville comedy
Oh that is a good question okay
Fucking JJ
I'm putting this out there first and foremost
This is Jake Muncie
I forgot his name the dude that said he was gonna shoot up the school but it was a flare gun
That is Jake Muncie
Yeah Jake Muncie is Michael Anthony Hall and his
I can't forget his Brian that's his character's name
Okay yeah Brian
And then we got as the jock JJ
Yeah
Oh I don't think so dude
I feel like I'm more
You're not him
I don't know
No who's the bad boy who's the
I wanna say Alex
You gotta say Bryce he's the toughest comedian in Huntsville
I was gonna say Nico
Okay yeah I can see that
Just because I think he could pull off the role
A hundred percent
Nico would definitely pull off the role
But his personality
I can see him wearing these gloves
Yeah
The fangirless leather gloves
Yeah I think it's the hair maybe that's doing it for me
Um okay and then Ashlyn is
Basket case
Yeah the girl that like poured all the sugar on the thing
And Reyna as Molly Ringwald
Did you say you're not Molly
No I don't think I need to be in it
Okay cause you're here
Maybe Reyna and I could share Molly
She's being humble dude
Reyna and I can share Molly
She's the principal
She's more redhead
She's more redhead than I am
Reyna
Yeah
She redhead
More so than me
Blondish blondeish
Kim's redheaded
Oh Kim
Kim might be the principal though
Kim might be the principal
Yeah yeah
You mess with a bull dude
Get the horns
That's good stuff
Yeah but horns down
We could do like a poll and everyone can vote for who they think is
Hell yeah
I'm down for it
So you're still using a Hotmail account in 2023
I have like three different email accounts dude
It's bad
I have like a work email address
Then I have a personal one that has my middle name in it
So it's super hard to spell
And then so I have a normal one that's just like a Hotmail account my mom made for me
When I was young
Just so I had my name in it
Oh nice
Thanks Krista
She set you up nice
She did and that's what I use for business inquiries
Oh okay
How many unreaded emails do you have in that account
Too many
Too many right
Also shout out Jack Douglas the way he wrote it and the thing is so funny
Using a Hotmail email in 2023 brave
Jack's so sassy dude
Love that guy
You know you know I have a G
My other one's Gmail
I have a personal Gmail
Okay okay
I got a variety
That's better that's more classy
Yeah I think so
I didn't even know they still had Hotmail
Hotmail is the best
My mom had a Hotmail email address
But hers was like a way better email address than mine
I talked about it in my step before it was
SLC underscore hottie at Hotmail.com
I do think I remember that joke
Yeah it was a joy to put on forms in elementary school
Oh yeah
See Hotmail was before my time
My teachers would be like
Oh you said your parents email address not a porn stars
And I was like I didn't understand the directions
Porn stars can be parents
That's some judgmental ass shit
You're absolutely right
But
They're not mutually exclusive
You gotta think of what's doing to those kids
I couldn't imagine
They're gonna get shit at school
You have to fight every day
You just have to
That might be the best setup for a mom for a stand up comedian
Is if your mom's a porn star
Cause if you don't learn to defend yourself with words you won't survive
You have to have a bunch of back pocket comebacks
Oh yeah
You gotta think about everything
Yeah and she fucks your dad better than your mom does
What's it to ya?
Yeah nowadays like Gen Z
Yeah you're subscribed to her only fans actually
So fuck you
First of all
That money puts food on my table
I'm about to tear your family apart with her subscriber list
Dude zip it
Oh
And you do this all the time
I'm so impressed I tell JJ this all the time
Whenever we're going up there doing the open mics
You sit there with your notebook
And then you write jokes on the spot with great tags
Thank you
Like it'll be like the first minute and 30 seconds maybe two minutes
And you're just like pretty much you know saying whatever we said
So you're taking our joke like people's joke premises and then
In real time
In real time that's crazy
That's awesome when you're not on the receiving end of the deal
Oh something happened to you?
Like when Sierra called me out
What happened?
I might have been a little bit pissed about this in the intro
I'm not pissed about it
I'm a little pissed about it
But I did some jokes about Tinder
About my experiences on Tinder
And when I got off Sierra went up and was like
JJ was talking about Tinder
You must be a nightmare on there buddy
What is that supposed to mean?
I'm a respectful young man
I don't send unsolicited photos of my body to strangers on the internet
Is that a big thing?
That is something to be proud of dude
Can't be said for a lot of guys
Do you get a lot of those?
Oh I've got some unsolicited dick pics back in my day yeah
Yep yeah
I bet Brandon got a lot
I bet Brandon sent a lot
I'm just kidding
He said he has size 14 shoes
He's not just slinging
No he said 13, 14
He was like no I'm just 13
It's not much to be certain of you guys don't see a parcel
Alright
He's got lines
Be smooth
That's so funny
Yeah the worst one I ever got was
One time a guy sent me one from the angle
Just like this down
And he was wearing nothing but socks
It was not a good thing to look at
I'm like why would you send that?
Would you prefer it to have socks?
Were they white socks or black socks?
Don't ask me the color of nothing dude
They had like the cool weight man on them
I was looking at the half soft in front of me
The half soft?
That's brave
Yeah he went half
The angle and the yeah
Flaccidity is that a word?
I don't know it is now
The flatulence dude
It was cold
That's what the dude sees
He has socks on
You might have caught a cold man
Alright so
I think I got the stats here
You have over 300,000 TikTok followers
I do
So you can start a cult
I could if I wanted to
What would you do? What would your cult be?
No dude honestly I would do
I would like use it for good
That's kind of the goal
The Church of Latter Day Saints
Yeah
The Church of Former Day Saints
Former Day Saints
Change it by a word or something I don't know
Yeah I don't know
The goal with the whole thing is just to be silly
And make people laugh and bring people joy
And spread creativity and appreciate others creativity
Hell yeah
Using it for good
Yeah I just honestly like
The fact that we can all interact with each other on this level
Like with social media and talk to anybody anywhere
Like I see so much content and hilarious stuff I never would have seen 30 years ago
Yeah
Trying to leverage that platform
For the widespread inspiration and comedy sharing
I think it's important I think it's cool
That was a good answer
It's very important
That was too good of an answer
Yeah yeah
We're gonna have to just clip that and just let it
And I would make everyone worship me
That's how they get you
This is fucking Sarah Palin over here
Yeah and the real yeah
In order to do this everyone has to drop everything
And give me all their possessions and money and worship me
And then I'll fix everything
There's probably people out there that would
Yeah
Oh no I would never
Dude people pay
I was just watching something this dude like paid for this girl to gamble his money
While he like sat on his knees behind her
Like she was at the craps table let's say
And he paid her and she was gambling with his money
I can't beat that man
You pay
Yeah I would love
How do I sign up for that job?
Are they taking applications?
Are they taking applications on LinkedIn, Glassdoor?
Definitely Glassdoor
Yeah
You can definitely find us on Glassdoor
Yeah I don't what's the
What does he get out of that?
People like the people
Yeah exactly
Some guys like to be demoralized I guess
Yeah demeaned, condescending
It looks yeah
They probably just have too much money
You dirty little pig boy
You see that SNL sketch with
Oh yeah
Yes
James Franco
Yes
Little pig boy
Is the spelling bee?
Do you like SNL?
I love SNL
There we go
Always lifelong fan yep
So one of my favorite skits is Santa Baby with Ryan Gosling
As the elves?
Oh with that's what Keenan
I think he might be in that one too
Ryan Gosling's in that one
He's in that one too
I just watched that one recently but
Okay what's the Santa Baby one?
The Santa Baby when they're at like a Christmas party at their friend's house
And then the dude's like telling his son
Alright Santa's gonna be down in a minute and Ryan Gosling
And I can't remember the other act
She's one of the best ones though
Skinny White
Kate McKinnon?
No
Kristen Wiig?
No no no way after
Oh after?
Yeah yeah
Like she might still be on there now
Oh current
Was it?
I wanna say
I can't remember her name but she's hilarious
Blonde hair?
Brown hair?
We'll think of it later
Yeah yeah yeah
So they look at each other like Santa's here
And then the dude's like confused
And he's like you go bring that beautiful majestic man down here right now
And they just act like crazy
The music starts playing and they're just on the coffee table kissing each other
And everybody's just looking at him
And when he comes down as Santa cause it's the dad right
He comes down he just puts a Santa coat on
And he's like sitting on his lap
He's crying
Oh my god I gotta go watch this
It's not getting old
That's the shit I love that
Ryan Gosling
Yeah
He's a big
Anger SNL hook
Yes oh my god The Close Encounters one with him and Kate McKinnon
That's like a family staple for me
My mom and I love that whole series of yeah
Yeah that's the one that put me on the episodes
Oh my god
The Papyrus one is my favorite
My poop chute was out
Oh yeah my coot coot and my prune chute hanging out
I'm out here full Donald Ducking it in a drafty dome
I love when they break dude when they're just cracking up
Cause that is too funny
It is
It's too good
She's so good and she's sitting and she's got like the full camel toe
And she's got a cigarette in her hands
I knew that lady growing up
Shut up
She's in Ardmore
She's in fucking Ardmore
Shut up
Like women like that just
Oh yeah the Marlboro Red smoking you know it's
It has an allure you know there's an audience for everything
Yeah
It's a cool thing to watch
Oh yeah
It's kind of like a train wreck
But the Papyrus Ryan Gosling sketch
Oh yes
Where he's playing a dude that's just like deeply disturbed by the fact that
Marketers for Avatar like the movie Avatar
Use the Papyrus font on Microsoft Word
As the whole logo and it just like it bothers him so much
And the whole time you think he's crazy and then he's outside the dude's house
And he like smirks at him through the window
Closes it up
I know what you did
And then they double down on Avatar 2 and use the same one
So I hope we get a Papyrus 2
Oh god that would be good
We have to have it
That would be so funny
Ryan Gosling is one of my favorite has became one of my favorite actors
He's good
I mean in like everything you see you like nice guys
Yes
I love that movie
People don't know about like a lot of people
It's a good one
It's so good
Okay so back to SNL
Because I love SNL
What's your favorite SNL skit?
Oh of all time
Oh boy
Whichever one pops up to your mind
I mean I love that James Franco spelling bee one of them is good
I loved Celebrity Jeopardy
That was a favorite when I was growing up
Oh with Tom Hanks
Yeah
Oh that was a great one
Will Ferrell would be on it
Bert Reynolds
Turd Ferguson
Great
Norm MacDonald
Yeah Norm MacDonald is so good
I love Weekend Update
That segment I like a lot
And I did so I did like the school news in high school or whatever
Oh shit
Yeah and I loved I was the little anchor
And I liked doing that stuff
I took a class in college journalism and creative media minor
And so did a little news anchory type stuff
And I did parody stuff for that class
So every two weeks we'd come in with a script
And I would always just do like the latest news and do parody or jokes about all of them
My own little Weekend Update kind of thing
But I did do the school news
And I used to do little sketches and little rips
So I would do like a parody investigative reporter
Because our mascot was the eagle, the soaring eagle
And I was like eagle in the hall
And I would just go do kind of parody mockumentary interviews type things
And then I made like an office style mockumentary called Don Wiego instead of Juan Diego
I love it
And had the people in my class help me with all these scripted fake characters
And random high school bullshit
And then I had this character in my senior quote
Oh my god I still regret it to this day
I had this character called Literal Lydia
And she had this little song
And it was like if your grammar is bad without a doubt
Literal Lydia will call you out
And I would just be like me walking by someone in a hallway
And they're like oh my god I am literally gonna die
It's so hot outside
And I'd be like are you? Are you literally gonna die?
It was just me being a smart ass
And then my senior quote was literally
Literally
That's badass
I think your mate, do you ever do the improv?
No
I think your mate
I did once like two couple years ago
And you know what? Thank you
I would like to sharpen that skill
That's something I really have not
Have not tried
You're so quick
You did good at the canibor
You're impossibly quick
Thank you
Yeah and my mom
I gotta thank my mom for that
She made me so witty
Like we would always just go back and forth when I was a kid
So I just she
I learned to be in that mindset constantly
Like what joke is associated
Like I love looking for patterns and similarities
And finding that funny witty creative next level
Yeah
I was talking to Kim
I wanna go up there and watch
One of theirs is like coming up like December something
And she was telling me the difference between them
Like one is just like you just go and improvise
Some people tell you like certain things
We try to do
You were there
We try to do the
Well she was in it
Yeah
She did
Yeah and that girl that I literally met 20 minutes before that thing started
I had no idea who she was
She killed it
Yeah
She was good
She was
I thought you guys really knew each other
No
I did too
I thought they knew
Yeah okay so he totally like obviously we'd never met
And he did a lot of questions about friendship
And like how close of friends you guys are
And so I'm like it's gonna be easier if we just commit to a fake bit about being friends
Than just being like oh we don't really know each other
Yeah
You know so I just was like let's do it
My girl this is my home girl we've known each other for decades
Like yeah
I was sold
You had me convinced yeah
Thanks
I was like we're about to lose this shit out of this
Brandon fucking won the thing
Yeah
Hell yeah shout out to Brandon for winning that thing
Hey
Yeah
To Dante too
Shout out to Dante
Oh my god Dante
It's so funny because like sometimes he gets up there and I'm like
And sometimes he gets up there and I'm like you know
Yeah
Not bad
I laugh every time
Thursday at Mad Maltz right
Yeah
They had you ever been there
Yeah yeah yeah
So they have the
This was my first time last week
They had the upstairs and then like nobody was listening to us besides the comedians
And then everybody went upstairs
And Dante was the only one to get and he had him rolling
He I'm talking murder
Yeah he kills sometimes
Yeah
He gets up there and peep like he kills he's so good yeah
It's so crazy because like Dante you don't know where it's going
If it's your first time seeing Dante you're like you're like looking around like
Is everybody else seeing what I'm seeing
Yeah
And then he just says something you're like okay
He's a Sergeant Miller type
No yeah
He's a Sergeant Miller type
Sergeant Miller type
Sergeant Miller you damn soldiers
Yeah I think that's why I do the uh cause like sometimes he'll start it out that way
And then he gets you on board yeah you just never know where it's gonna go
He has some of my favorite jokes of all time
Jamaican Misfortune Cookies
I'm mad I didn't write that one
Honestly
Mon
But he pulls it off better
He starts it with Mon ends it with Mon
I love palindromes
Yeah
You saying words you know I don't know what they mean
Well dude my name is a palindrome
JJ same forwards and backwards
Okay yeah I do I do remember that
The year I'm about to make you feel old real quick
The year I was born 2002
Also a palindrome
Jesus
What was that in 2002 I think it was a fresh
Afghanistan
Oh my god
Took me a second I was still rolling over the 2002
Kuwait
Two thousands
It's just weird that like a grown adult you're like a grown man
And you were born in 2002
Well you're not a good you know
That makes sense that makes sense
That act up
This I'm like what
That was 1998
I'm not
Four years older I'm really close to that
Young blood
You're still last millennium though
And once we start we can't keep y'all around
I'm sorry
You gotta take even the 98s out
I just hope I can outlive every person from the 1900s
You won't
Challenge accepted
That's it women have an unfair advantage
It's female privilege dude
They live like four years longer than men
It's cause we're more careful y'all are dumb
Y'all are putting your lives in danger voluntarily
Women are very careful we're thinking about all the details
You guys aren't thinking about
Taking extra precautions
That's why we're happier too
Yeah
Arguably
Right
Ignorance is bliss
It is exactly
Yeah man
I'll take it dude
But you did a set when you had blonde hair
You're on a guitar and everybody's talking in the background
But you're just singing
Was it at the Sundance?
Sundance
Oh shit you found that?
Yeah
Oh my god
We went deep
Yeah you guys did go deep
So yeah I wrote
I've been writing songs since I was like 14 playing the guitar
And when I was like 15, 16
We flew out to Nashville and recorded eight songs
And I had like a manager for a minute
And I got booked at the Sundance Film Festival
It was like the writers room after party basically
So like directors of these smaller films that got showcased
Went to this little bar and that's where I was playing
And I just played some original songs
I was like 16 I think
Yeah
I looked very different when I was in high school
I was almost like I didn't recognize you
For real dude
I like hit late puberty or some shit
Because I swear to god like I had just fuller cheeks
And I just like I looked different until like 2022 maybe
Like early last year
Are you serious?
I'm serious it's like been a recent
Maybe the last two years I would consider myself like attractive
But I don't know I just look very different now
And I don't know how I'm perceived by other people
That's a weird thing on stage
I was always like the goofy friend
And so I would act that way
And now I feel like people look at me differently
No no you gotta keep on doing whatever you're doing
Yeah and that's what I'm getting back to
I feel like I got stuck in my head in the last year
And I was like shit I have to present myself a certain way
Or I need to be like a stereotypical funny
But recently I threw that at the window
And I was like fuck it I'm a weird person
And I like I can do random absurd shit
And I like doing impressions and sketches and stand up
And all over the place and singing
So I'll just do it all
Hey so on your TikToks I love the roasting Bumble DMs
That's my shit
That's my shit right there I can watch those all day
I'm back on Bumble and I'm using this opener where the guy gets to choose
One a dad joke, two a fun fact or three I roast them
And boy are men gluts for punishment
Matched with this gentleman who kindly asked for a roast
I said you look like the Lorax if you tried the devil's lettuce
Our next victim take a good look
He asked for a roast I said you look like if Patrick Dempsey
And the least attractive Baldwin brother had a son
Didn't specify which Baldwin brother
Dealer's choice and frankly it was more of a compliment
He responded and said who are they?
And failed the vibe check miserably
Here's our next guy
He asked for a roast I said you give off both serial killer and frat douche vibes
And he agreed with the frat douche thing
He said elaborate on the serial killer vibes
I need to figure out how to hide that better apparently
And finally this gentleman asked for a roast
I said you look like you wear the same pair of socks for three straight days
Till your mom finally washes them
How did you come up with this?
I mean honest to God I was just on Bumble
I was trying to think of a good opener
My friend Eric actually helped me come up with it
Because I needed to think of a creative opener
Girls have to message first
But I want it to be something a guy is going to respond to not just hey
And I put that I do stand up in my bio
So people are expecting kind of a joke or something funny
Yeah
Yeah so my buddy helped me come up with it
I thought of the compliment and the roast
And then the dad joke was the third one he helped me come up with
And given someone a choice
And they get to pick and men are gluttons for punishment
They pick roast about 95% of the time
Some ask for one of the other two a compliment or a dad joke
It just tells you a lot about a person whenever they select
And sometimes most of the time I would roast someone
And they'd be a good sport about it
But sometimes I'd roast someone and they would just roast me back automatically
And I was like yo I didn't ask for it you did
Damn that's a really good point
I feel like you would keep an Excel sheet on this shit
Like 33% of men chose this option
It's actually a study
She's in grad school this whole thing is fake
Yeah no I've just been doing the analytics for this for years
Yeah that was fun though
Now that I got a boyfriend I haven't done it
I kind of delete my dating apps
Yeah yeah yeah
Honestly I'd like keep being a good sport if I wanted to do it just for that purpose
But I wouldn't want to get on there and give guys the wrong idea
Because I'm like a boyfriend I'd just be going on there to do it for a bit
That's not very fair they're trying to look for an actual date
They'll be okay
You think?
Yeah
I think maybe if I put in my bio like yo I'm using this for TikTok
Don't
No?
I think that it's really cool that you think that but dudes don't give a fuck
Yeah they don't
Okay cool
I can just go straight after and then they'll never see me again
Exactly
It's probably what happens to them in the other messages anyway
It's hard for the course
It's my experience at least
Yeah I'm just over thinking it I'm trying not to do too much harm out there
I feel what you're saying
I can't just destroy a guy's ego and then step out of his life
That's cold blood
I'm using my platform for positivity
No honestly dude I had this like moral conundrum
And I stopped posting for a while because like what I was doing was funny
But I was trying really hard to just like find a niche or like some type of video I should be doing
I was doing too vague of things
It just doesn't isn't
Doesn't
Jesus sorry isn't popular on TikTok
That's not the platform to use for that
And so I started doing lists I did like here are the top 10 worst things you can name your kid
Like here are the 10 worst names
Started roasting guys
I did hear how people from different states would reject you at a bar
And so it's just like a stereotype from each state just kind of different lists and things
One of it was like making fun of people or negative things or roasting names
And while they got traction yeah I was like I felt like I was just being an asshole on TikTok
And I try to be a kind person genuinely I like making friends
I like having friendships and relationships with people and like you know sharing the positivity and creativity
Like I was talking about and I wasn't really doing that with my platform I was just
I didn't feel like I was anyway
Okay okay
So yeah I'm trying to pivot and be a little more positive
Or if I'm gonna be negative balance it out with some positives
Well that's dope I don't think a lot of people feel that way especially when it comes to social media
Because there is an aspect of like moral responsibility
If you put something out there that can hurt somebody
Yeah I'm like there are like I don't know all of my followers
300 and some thousand followers there are kids following me there are parents there are a wide variety of people seeing this content
I can't just you know be spreading the wrong stuff
I say that when last week we played a clip of me making a joke about somebody getting hit by a Hamas rocket
No but here's the thing okay that's funny like comedy can still be dark
I love dark humor I love dark fucked up jokes like Anthony Jaslenik is one of my favorite comments he's so good
Like he has this joke and he's like every time I have sex with a woman I always always assume she has herpes
Because that way I don't have to tell her about my herpes
Like that kind of shit's funny obviously
Here's the thing though like I see I don't mind fucked up jokes
My problem is sometimes they're tasteless or like I feel like some like racist or gender specific jokes are overplayed
Like we've heard that punchline we've heard that generic beating the woman joke we've heard that generic race joke
And so nowadays if you want to pull that kind of humor off you have to add a level of creativity
Or add a twist or add something different
These people need more to be entertained now we don't want to hear the same punchline
So yeah if you're adding creativity if you're adding something timely and something a little like the people aren't expecting I'm totally on board
I got yeah like respect the craft dude
Oh my gosh Jake Muncie has the best joke like that I laugh so hard every time
He tells his joke where he's like yeah Ted Bundy murdered like 40 women what's that like 20 people
I'm sorry for throwing your joke out there Jake but you got enough material
Yeah credit to him as long as we credit them right on the spot when we do it I think we're good
Just nobody thinks it's going there
Yeah that is a good joke man that's fine
Damn so but I heard this I don't know if this is true at all I don't even remember who told me this
Were you in a commercial for Cracker Barrel?
Yeah okay yeah so long story short just from TikTok somebody like a Comedy Scout kind of guy reached out to me
He's like hey one of my clients is interested in doing a commercial kind of thing or some material with you
And yeah someone an ad agency kind of deal a marketing agency reached out to me
About going to shoot some TikToks for Cracker Barrel so it was me and three other content creators
I by far had like the lowest follower count some people a couple people had like over a million followers
And I'd like 250k at the time something like that and then I went out for two days they paid for my hotel
And we went out to the Cracker Barrel headquarters
Oh shit where's that at?
Oh my it's called it's Tennessee
The plantation?
Sounds like it no honestly it's like the name of the city is the name of a country and I can't remember
Lebanon?
It's something like that really like Lebanon Tennessee or something and yeah it was a huge like campus basically
They had all these different stage rooms they like a Christmas Cracker Barrel room with all the Christmas decor
And then like a Thanksgiving one and then we like got to taste all this different Cracker Barrel food is sick
Damn that's really cool
Yeah filmed four sketches all of us or sorry I filmed two two different like little bits and all of us did that
And then one of mine got posted mine was one got posted first didn't do as well as they were hoping
They only have like 10,000 followers on TikTok and then they didn't never posted any of the other ones
So like it didn't even pan out it's not like I did some crazy Cracker Barrel commercial I just helped film TikTok content
And I got paycheck I got the bag
And I got to meet some cool creators like those people were so cool I got to meet some really cool content creators
I never would have otherwise I went and did an open mic while I was there in Nashville
Because I was like I've never done a mic here let's check it out let's see what's going on
How was that?
It was so cool I did okay
You recently got out of town pay gig right?
Yeah I sure did my first one
That's huge
Yeah it was in Tuscaloosa it was really exciting it's where I wrote my first ever stand up set
Yep
So it's pretty cool
Was that your first time performing there?
Oh shit
Yeah Mr. Chen's a restaurant I love
Who?
Mr. Chen's it's a Chinese restaurant it's super cool
Okay okay
It's for Robinson far back from the mic but yeah it was an honor to do comedy in Tuscaloosa like I don't know
I think 18 year old Sierra would be super proud and that's cool
I'd be remiss if I didn't bring up the you have a group that does sketches
Yeah just starting out
Moonshine Ping Pong
Moonshine Ping Pong shout out to Dan Price shout out to James Brown shout out to Alex Z we're still building it up
So yeah if you guys are interested in writing sketches and executing them we're just trying to set a consistent time to me
We haven't picked one yet it'll probably just be one of the days before a mic like an hour before a mic starts will show up
Write sketches for a little pick a day to film
That's what we do with this like do it on Sunday because we're going to a mic anyway
Yeah
But shout out Moonshine Ping Pong on Instagram they just put out their first sketch yesterday validation station
It's a good one featuring Sierra Moses go check it out
Check it out
Alright Sierra this is the end of the podcast
Well thank you guys so much for having me this was a joy
Yeah of course thank you for the gifts
Yes of course
And you will see these up we're redoing them we're gonna paint this all blue
I love the back to the future
And then we're gonna have all this stuff put up
Awesome
Hell yeah thank you so much
Thank you guys so much appreciate the time
Alright so now's your time anything you got to promote any ads right in that camera right there
Awesome check me out on TikTok at Sierra dot Moses
Check me out on Instagram at Sierra Moses comedy and check out Moonshine Ping Pong on Instagram as well
Hell yeah
Thank you guys so much
Thank you so much
Thank you encore encore encore
Back again got the standing o
Just a quick couple bars for my boys ready
Chatting on the podcast with Dom and JJ hoping clown college comedy gets us to pay day
Can't forget about Brandon with an E not an O got scammed by a lady on a radio show
What?
Damn
Barz
Hell yeah
Good shit
Oh my god I'm Sierra Moses thank you
Peace