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This week on Clown College

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Are you a big handy guy?

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I love them

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You like them too?

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Are you into them?

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Fuck no

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I'm trying to give me a handjob, I can jack myself off

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Now head

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I mean to start it off

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Imagine if your tour is sitting

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I'm talking about handjob until completion

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No, no, no

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I don't want you to ever say those words again

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I don't want you to ever say those out loud

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That sounds like a charge

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Handjob to completion

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Grand theft auto

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You know, high treason

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Handjob to completion, that should be illegal dude

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That's insane

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Nobody was operating under that assumption

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This is the Clown College Podcast

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We're just a couple open micers

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Trying to make our way through the scene

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Where we interview comedians

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Throughout different stages of their comedy career

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No matter if they're open micers, headliners

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Or traveling comedians

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I'm here too, Jamie 2.0

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I just talk a lot more

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Damn it Brandon

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Go sit in the corner

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Welcome back to Clown College

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We want to say thank you for

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Tuning in, I mean

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Oh yeah, the feedback's been great

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A lot of love and support out there

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Thank you guys for sharing our stuff

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I'm interested in coming on and just watching the podcast

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It means a lot

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Hell yeah, we were expecting like 10 views max

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Single digit

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I was expecting nobody

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But realistically, who the fuck

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Would want to watch an hour of some random

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People talking that they don't know

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Well we appreciate it

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Thank you for listening

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They just watch for our bomb jokes

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Well there's going to be some bomb ones today

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I can guarantee you that

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So what happened? How was Thanksgiving?

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It was good man, it was good

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Family came to town, I met

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Four of my new Mexican brothers

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That was fun

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They speak a little bit of English

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We communicated well though

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Shit's crazy man

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Shit was weird

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But it was good though

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Discipline kids, I think my bombs beating the fuck out of them

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To be honest

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They were on their P's and Q's the whole time dude

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Straightened up

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They knew to shut up during the blessing dude

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I love it

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You know sometimes you got to beat these kids

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I think that's a lost art

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I agree

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Just a good pop

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Oh yes, Brandon does know all about that

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You know how many ass whuppens I took? A lot

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Look at me, I'm very professional now

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No I'm not

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How was your Thanksgiving?

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Man it was good

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Not going to lie, got two stuff though

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Got two stuff, got too high

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Lost a lot of money

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All that

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How'd you lose the money?

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Oh you know, you get paid

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Shit just hit you, gas came out of nowhere

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Saw some cool shit I wanted

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Brandon, gas does not come out of nowhere

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There's a meter in your car

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That tells you exactly how much gas you have

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That shit don't sneak up on you

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I felt like I went around a corner

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Apparently I went around the whole city

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Nah I got no gas

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I know, yes dude

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I'm very careful man

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You think I'm 80 years old

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I talk about people driving horrible

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But look at my ass, I'm slow as shit

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I love hearing you

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And your fiance

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Argue about driving

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Because every time at

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Straight to Aome and Brandon parking at the same spot

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And when I'm walking back

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There's always a few steps behind me

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And I can hear her going

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I keep telling you not to park back here

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It's weird, there's homeless people around

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Yep, I'm like there's so many cars up front

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I don't want to hit a sidewalk

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Wink, wink, you know

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That's why I say when I hit something that

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Not supposed to hit

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That parking lot is confusing though

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Brandon's been in a lot of hitting runs with that comment right there

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He said sidewalk and put up

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Portation marks

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Hit a school trash can once, scared everybody

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It's still there, you go to the school

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I go to, not going to

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You look at the trash can

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You're going to see it, fucked up

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Yo man

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This is crazy, you remember that trash can man

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It's really still here

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This is what I did, I fucked this shit up

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Is it like a dumpster?

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Oh no, it's like one of those like

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What is that? Those red

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The metal ones, I hit like a metal one

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A dumpster? No, not a dumpster

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The small trash cans, you know the little small ones

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That are near the parking lot when you park

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And they got the little ones you could go to

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Yeah, yeah, yeah, you talking about the round ones

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Yeah, yeah, those round

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Not the dumpster, that shit

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Dude, would it be weird to consider

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Like having two guests in one episode?

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Like, if we did our pre-part

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Before, like we just had somebody sitting there

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And they watched our clips with us

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And then the interview part

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Is with a different guest

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Would that be weird?

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So I don't think it would be weird, I think the only

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Thing is, is that it'll be like

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We can have the open micers

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Before, and then the comedian

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Like the long term

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Cause then we'll be able to get open micers

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And then we'll be able to still get them their own episode

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Because this, you know

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It wouldn't be centered around them

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They're just talking to bullshit with us

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I think that's a good idea

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Cause that'd be fun, man

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Cause like, I've been wanting Charlie on here

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That's what that is exactly

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Is that how you think about it? I love Charlie

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Well, Jake was already on it

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I think Jake's funny as hell

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He covered for me last week

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Good shit, Jake, appreciate it, man

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Thank you, dude

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Like, dude, it was literally

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Maybe not even 30 minutes

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Because Nico was already on his way

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I just looked at him, I was like

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So which one of you guys want to co-host?

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I had a family emergency

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That's the reason

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I'm sorry, I missed you guys, man

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I love doing this shit, it's fun

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It's fun as hell, man

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I love seeing Dom in his like soft

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Purple hoodies

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That shit's nice though

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I think there's more Earth tones

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What fucking Earth are you listening to?

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I know, Allison said it, but I can't remember what the tone was

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But it was like green

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Forest green

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Dude, my HGTV joke

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Earth tones

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She wanted to go with fucking

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I can't even remember my own joke

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The tan one, Autumn Brass

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That's like the

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On the Valspar paint sheet

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I went to Home Depot and I was looking at those

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And I was like, I should put this as a tag

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I'm not gonna ever laugh, but I think it's funny

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So I'm keeping it in, fuck you

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I'm telling you, I'll do that joke

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That nobody ever laughs about

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My

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I mean it's rough

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I don't even want to tell you what it is, because it's so rough

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Because it's be out of context

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But, let the gas out of lungs

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I'll let you know what kind of people

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I don't want to pull Kanye in here

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But, no

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Third Kanye

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Shout out in a row

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I want you guys to know

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I actually do believe he's

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He's insane, but like creative insane

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He has to be

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He's like an evil genius

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See genius though, I'll wipe back on this

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I think they give genius to too many people

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If you can make music, I'm not saying

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I guess you can be a musical genius

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I think so

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Like if you listen to some songs

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It's a different level

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You just understand universally more people

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Are gonna fuck with that song, just because it's good

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There's a lot of artists

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I'll give you one like when they're like

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Maybe like a YouTube guy

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Like MrBeast, he's a genius

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I don't believe he's a genius

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I think he's more of a hard worker

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Very disciplined

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Hard working good man like Rocky, you know what I mean

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He's a really good dude, he does a lot of like

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He does like charitable shit

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Why do people hate on this guy when he does that

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I see that all the time on Twitter

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Well, I think it's kind of like a double edged sword

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Because at the end of the day he is making content

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He's making money off of it

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Okay, he's making money and then giving

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At least doing something

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I think he gives like the vast majority of it away

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Or at least reinvest it into the videos

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Like he's

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That squid game video he made

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I think he spent like 3 million dollars

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To make that, which is insane

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Who else is doing that?

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Like social media wise

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I don't watch

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I never watch one MrBeast video

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I don't know anything about them

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But I always see him

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Every time I see him it's like he's doing something good

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Like building whales or some shit

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Well people will hate on anything

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Yeah, I hate on the guy that's doing something

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Didn't he like pay for that surgery

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Overseas for people to get their sight back

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Oh yeah, yeah like a thousand people

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Yeah and people hated on it

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If he could do it over there, why couldn't he do it over here

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Because here you gotta pay like infinitely more for it

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Well actually I think it's like a pretty simple procedure

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They just don't really have like the medical

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Infrastructure over there

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They don't have the doctors and hospitals I guess

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I don't fucking know

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Like I said I am a licensed physician

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I'm an MD, I know what I'm talking about dude

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We all are

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Brandon, you were first in your class weren't you?

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Wait what?

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Say it again, hold on I need you to tell me this again

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Grab your helmet

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You said everything we needed to know right there

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Okay, yeah

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Because I was hearing you said MD

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Did you get good grades in school Brandon?

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I'm not trying to put you on blast, I'm a genuine

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I know you're not, I didn't Brandon don't worry about it

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Then you know what, me and

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We didn't, me and Dom, I remember man

279
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:26,000
We didn't

280
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,000
I didn't

281
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,000
Y'all went to school in two different eras

282
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,000
We didn't have cell phones when I went to high school

283
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,000
True that

284
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,000
Now we got phones, vapes and shit

285
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,000
You know all the weird shit

286
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:40,000
Have you seen those new vapes that you buy it and it comes with

287
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,000
It's own lanyard and people wear it around their neck

288
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:44,000
I swear this is real

289
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,000
I think they're called RAS, I don't vape

290
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:48,000
So I don't know but it's like a nicotine vape

291
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,000
And it comes with it's own lanyard

292
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,000
And it's like part of the culture dude

293
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,000
It's the new drip

294
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,000
If you're like 15 that's the coolest shit to do right now

295
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:58,000
15 year olds are doing it

296
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,000
I mean I was

297
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,000
I was smoking black and mild at 15

298
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:04,000
Oh also I knew that, I found that out

299
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:06,000
Because of like a 38 year old woman

300
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,000
I drove past

301
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,000
Decatur like almost to Rogersville

302
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:12,000
Because I'm talking to this girl

303
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:14,000
And she has a horse, I posted the horse picture

304
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:16,000
On my Instagram

305
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:18,000
I had to recreate the video

306
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,000
If you haven't seen the horse video on Twitter

307
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,000
We'll link it, play it now Brandon

308
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,000
Alright hold up y'all

309
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,000
But it's the exact same horse

310
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,000
But we drove out there and we stopped at McDonald's bro

311
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:30,000
Because I've been craving McDonald's breakfast

312
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:32,000
I haven't had it in so long

313
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:34,000
The McGriddle dude

314
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:36,000
American culinary ingenuity bro

315
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,000
That's a fucking dude

316
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,000
Which kind do you get?

317
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:42,000
Bacon, egg and cheese

318
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:44,000
I was too scared to order it dude

319
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:46,000
I'm not good at like secret menus

320
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,000
But I put egg on it

321
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:50,000
Oh you put the egg on the crispy chicken?

322
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,000
On the McGriddle if I'm getting the McGriddle

323
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:54,000
And chicken, I want egg on there

324
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,000
And then I want some syrup to put on it

325
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:58,000
I fuck with you

326
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,000
I like jelly

327
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,000
I like putting jelly on breakfast sandwiches

328
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,000
But we were driving out there and we stopped at McDonald's

329
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:06,000
To get it and there was this lady with like

330
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:08,000
Four total teeth in the drive through that had one of them

331
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,000
And I was like

332
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:12,000
That's so cool

333
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,000
I just wanted to ask her questions about it

334
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,000
I'm like what the fuck

335
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,000
This is like beyond a lighter leash

336
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,000
This is true addiction

337
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,000
It's like a security thing for your vape

338
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,000
That way you don't lose it and freak out

339
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,000
People flip their fucking top when they lose their vape

340
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,000
I've seen it firsthand

341
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,000
I lose all respect for you if you do that by the way

342
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,000
Not that my respect means much

343
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,000
But you do lose it

344
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,000
If I see you do some crazy shit like that

345
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,000
Calm down man

346
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,000
Dude, smoke cigarettes

347
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,000
I tried to stop and I was vaping

348
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:44,000
When I met, whenever

349
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,000
I told JJ

350
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,000
Whatever you're about to say, you've smoked cigarettes

351
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,000
Since the first time I ever met you

352
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,000
I know but I was quitting back then

353
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,000
When I was smoking, I would only borrow from people

354
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:56,000
For a month and then

355
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,000
Shout out Clint

356
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,000
He gave you 17 Newport

357
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:02,000
Clint's the bartender at

358
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,000
Black Panther Hidden Dragons

359
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,000
Over my boxcar

360
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:08,000
He always treats you right

361
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,000
Fast service, gives you cigarettes if you need them

362
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,000
And he stands on business

363
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,000
He'll throw your ass out of there

364
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,000
We've seen it

365
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,000
That one dude

366
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:20,000
Slapped his boy

367
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,000
Clint had to put him in a full

368
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:24,000
I just see him put him, me and Jack looking at him

369
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:26,000
He put him in a full mess and I'm dragging him out

370
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:28,000
Dude, oh shit

371
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,000
Speaking of the boxcar

372
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,000
We were up there last Sunday

373
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:34,000
You did the mic on Cannon Bar on Monday

374
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,000
Right? Yeah, this was Monday

375
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:38,000
Right now it's been almost a week since

376
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,000
We've done comedy, which sucks

377
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,000
Thanksgiving break

378
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,000
You know what I'm saying? Had to get something good to eat

379
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,000
So we were up there

380
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,000
And after the mic was over

381
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,000
He was black but he was light skinned

382
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:52,000
And looked Egyptian a little bit

383
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,000
And he had the fucking thing over his head

384
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,000
Not like a religious one

385
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,000
But just had

386
00:12:58,000 --> 00:13:00,000
Erykah Badu shit on his head

387
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,000
And he came in there

388
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:04,000
And it's like Jaylen sitting right here

389
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:06,000
Alex Z sitting right here

390
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:08,000
And then me right here in sci-fi

391
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:10,000
And he comes up right between the middle of Jaylen

392
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,000
And Alex and puts his face right by

393
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,000
Jaylen's, so I'm thinking that they

394
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,000
Know this guy

395
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,000
I see the way Alex looks over

396
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,000
How Alex is, he was like what the fuck

397
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,000
And then Jaylen looks at him

398
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,000
He's like, oh I know you, I know you, but you can tell

399
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:26,000
He don't know him, and you know Jaylen's the nicest guy

400
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,000
In the world, so he's like, yeah man

401
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,000
But you can tell he's getting irritated

402
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,000
And he keeps on coming over there

403
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,000
He's clearly on some type of drugs

404
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:36,000
He's like, I'm worth a billion dollars, y'all got me

405
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,000
Fucked up, I'm worth a billion dollars

406
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:40,000
He walks outside, we start talking about it

407
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,000
He comes back in and he's like, don't throw stones

408
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,000
At glass houses, but he's not talking to anybody

409
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,000
He's just talking to the air, you know how they are

410
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:48,000
When they on drugs

411
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:50,000
He's tweaking

412
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,000
Oh, tweaking hard, I was about to have to put him down

413
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,000
Clint didn't, I believe you dude

414
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,000
Clint didn't throw him out

415
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,000
Clint was hip to it, he was like, I don't know what that dude's on

416
00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,000
Because he would leave and then come back

417
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:02,000
And then leave and come back, he'd be like, oh y'all

418
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:04,000
Y'all funny, y'all funny

419
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,000
And so he must have maybe seen Jaylen

420
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,000
There before or something like that, because he was the only one

421
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:10,000
He was talking to, and then he kind of

422
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:12,000
Tried to take the seat and come sit

423
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:14,000
With us, I'm like, dude who the fuck is this guy

424
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:16,000
But I wanted

425
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,000
To tell you that's about the boxcar too

426
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,000
When we were out there, so Syfy did a joke

427
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,000
And you know, he's up there, he was like

428
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:24,000
I wonder if Muhammad

429
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,000
Was fucking, you know what I mean

430
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,000
Ooh, wow, okay

431
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:30,000
That's a thought dude

432
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:32,000
So he was like, you think about it, he was like

433
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,000
He was saying he was a real guy, so was he fucking

434
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,000
He was a real dude, and so he was like

435
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,000
You gotta think of what he looks like, dumb, stand up

436
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,000
So it's hilarious

437
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:42,000
I get up, I play along

438
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,000
And I just think it's funny, and this dude

439
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,000
I don't know if you were there

440
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,000
The last time, he was there before, tall

441
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,000
Tall white dude, the one I said like Machine Gun, Cataly

442
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,000
Same dude

443
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,000
Comes up and massages my shoulder

444
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,000
So I asked Charlie, Charlie was sitting right there

445
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:58,000
This is the second time

446
00:14:58,000 --> 00:15:00,000
What's going on around here?

447
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,000
I think it's the Brandon effect dude

448
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,000
You start getting touched when Brandon is around

449
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,000
You get weird shit happening to you now man, you been hanging on me too long

450
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:08,000
I got a curse

451
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,000
Oh shit, like King Tut, you know they gonna touch your butt

452
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,000
Oh shit

453
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,000
Ted

454
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,000
What the fuck, he just

455
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,000
Did you just bust a rhyme on him

456
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,000
Dr. Seuss style in this bitch

457
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,000
Drop

458
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,000
You hate Jews?

459
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:26,000
No, no I love Jews, they're good people

460
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:28,000
That's what Dr. Seuss style is

461
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:30,000
I realize that's a racist bastard

462
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,000
You're right, I've seen a lot of racism

463
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,000
It was a different time

464
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:36,000
Yeah you're right man, whatever, fuck it, you good

465
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,000
Is that easy to change Brandon

466
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,000
Nah, fuck it

467
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:42,000
He was just a Nazi

468
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:44,000
Half the hat goes hard

469
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:46,000
So he comes up and rubs on my shoulder

470
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,000
And lightly whispers in my ear

471
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,000
You know you gotta get him back right

472
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:52,000
And then I'm like, I look at Charlie

473
00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,000
I'm like, did he just rub my shoulder

474
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,000
He's like, yeah bro

475
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,000
I'm like, what is going on

476
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,000
I'm just thinking about the last time this shit happened

477
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:02,000
Somebody grabbed my hips, and then now

478
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,000
Somebody's grabbing my shoulders, massaging my shoulders

479
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:06,000
He's like, you gotta get him back

480
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,000
He's massusing you bro

481
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,000
He was right, so I had to start writing jokes

482
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,000
You needed

483
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,000
I needed him, I needed

484
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:16,000
I wasn't even thinking about roasting Safa

485
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:18,000
I'm not gonna lie to you, I told Safa he was rubbing my shoulder

486
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:20,000
There was another time at Boxcar where you could have used his motivation

487
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:28,000
Fuck you JJ

488
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,000
And fuck that little short ass nigga

489
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,000
Fuck he talk about

490
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:36,000
What's his name dawg

491
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:38,000
I don't know who that nigga is, he don't know me, I don't know you

492
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,000
Like what

493
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,000
But uh

494
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,000
But look

495
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,000
JJ gets a kick out of this shit

496
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:48,000
Every time

497
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,000
If I even say something about a short person

498
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,000
JJ's like

499
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:54,000
He's talking about this nigga

500
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,000
That just inspired

501
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,000
Your comedy career has skyrocketed since that moment

502
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:02,000
Like measurably

503
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:04,000
I had to, that was a teaching moment

504
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:06,000
You know, somebody just

505
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,000
Somebody roasted me on stage

506
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,000
Not really roasted me, but just

507
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:12,000
It was worse than a roast

508
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,000
Because he's like, whoever that other guy is

509
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,000
And so it's like

510
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,000
Even though I only met him

511
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,000
I only seen him twice or something like that

512
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,000
So he probably legit doesn't know who I am

513
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,000
And I don't care, but I did care

514
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,000
He didn't like you before

515
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,000
I didn't

516
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,000
I didn't dislike him, I didn't think he was funny

517
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,000
Oh true, look at me instigating shit

518
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,000
Shame on me

519
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,000
We're gonna keep all this in you short motherfucker

520
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,000
Come on the podcast when you get back

521
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,000
From the war that you went to

522
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,000
For sure, for sure

523
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:44,000
Good jokes, dude

524
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:46,000
I saw him win Rocket Republic one time

525
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,000
He had a good set

526
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,000
All black room

527
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:52,000
Did he?

528
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:54,000
He's probably good, I'm just saying the time I see him

529
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,000
But uh

530
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,000
What I'm trying to get

531
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:02,000
We're getting in trouble for this one dude

532
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:04,000
What the fuck

533
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,000
What is he gonna do

534
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,000
Damn

535
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,000
Bite my ankles

536
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,000
Fuck this little nigga

537
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,000
Trust me J.J.

538
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,000
You don't have to be worried about him when you can hold their head like this

539
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,000
And they just stream it on

540
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:20,000
He knows jujitsu dude

541
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:22,000
I don't give a fuck

542
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:24,000
He could be horse Gracie now

543
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:26,000
Pick this little motherfucker up by his neck

544
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,000
I really don't have a problem with it

545
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,000
I wanna be clear

546
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,000
I think he's funny

547
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,000
JJ thinks you're funny

548
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:36,000
He might be

549
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,000
I've only seen him twice

550
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,000
I can't believe he's the one

551
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,000
But uh

552
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,000
We definitely gotta have more

553
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,000
If we ever come back down

554
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,000
Of course dude, we want you on

555
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,000
He'd be funny

556
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:52,000
He's probably a cool guy

557
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,000
But uh anyway

558
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,000
So he says that and I'm like I gotta write some jokes bro

559
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,000
So I was like I'm gonna write

560
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,000
Two for Syfy

561
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,000
So I get up on stage I wrote two

562
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,000
I get up on stage I'm like

563
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,000
I'm like thanks guys, I'm like give it up for Syfy

564
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,280
Always does.

565
00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:09,340
Yeah, but he, like, you know, for like a couple,

566
00:19:09,340 --> 00:19:11,600
he wasn't getting the responses he wanted from the crowd.

567
00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:12,440
Yeah.

568
00:19:12,440 --> 00:19:14,480
Material's always good, but then this time,

569
00:19:14,480 --> 00:19:17,000
he like, he, you could, even when he got off,

570
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,880
he was bouncing around more and shit like that,

571
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:19,840
like he killed.

572
00:19:19,840 --> 00:19:21,160
So I was like, give it up for Sa-Fi.

573
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,320
Didn't he kill it today?

574
00:19:22,320 --> 00:19:23,320
Everybody start clapping.

575
00:19:23,320 --> 00:19:25,960
I'm like, yeah, he's good, man, he's good.

576
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:27,640
He's good for somebody who looks like the predator

577
00:19:27,640 --> 00:19:28,680
that only fished.

578
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:32,040
His only prey was bluegill.

579
00:19:32,040 --> 00:19:32,880
Oh my God.

580
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:33,720
And then.

581
00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:36,960
And then, it's outside from New York, dude.

582
00:19:36,960 --> 00:19:38,160
No, I'm talking about the predator

583
00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:39,000
because he gots the drake.

584
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:41,000
Oh yeah, I know, but there's no way he can fish, dude.

585
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,080
No, no, probably not, but it's the joke about he's fat.

586
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:44,560
I know, yeah, I know what you mean.

587
00:19:44,560 --> 00:19:45,400
Yeah.

588
00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:50,400
So then, so then I'm like, I paused for a second.

589
00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:54,160
I'm like, he looks like Bob Marley without the metabolism.

590
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:56,200
And people like it.

591
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,960
No, that's at the, the first one went over like, okay,

592
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:01,560
but then that one set it off and he was laughing.

593
00:20:01,560 --> 00:20:03,520
It was, it was good though.

594
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:04,760
But yeah, his ass got me.

595
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:06,600
I had to get motivation from somebody rubbing my shoulders.

596
00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:07,520
I'm not gonna lie, it worked.

597
00:20:07,520 --> 00:20:08,360
Thanks.

598
00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:11,000
Yeah, that's your origin story, man.

599
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,000
So what else is going on?

600
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:15,200
We got some, oh, this will already,

601
00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:18,560
this will already be done, but Treehouse Comedy Showcase,

602
00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:20,520
8 p.m. at Shenanigans, December 1st,

603
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,480
and then 4th of December, 4th of July,

604
00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:25,960
and December, hosting Mark Carson, Elmore.

605
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:28,600
Carson Elmore at the shop right here.

606
00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:31,200
It's gonna be a fun time.

607
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,160
It's like veterans getting free.

608
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:35,520
Everybody else has to pay four bucks

609
00:20:35,520 --> 00:20:36,360
or something like that.

610
00:20:36,360 --> 00:20:38,200
And it's a, it's a banger line up.

611
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:41,480
All goes towards some veterans association.

612
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,880
I forgot which one, my apologies.

613
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:45,360
Yeah, the vets need it.

614
00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:49,200
Telling you, with this healthcare they got going around,

615
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:51,120
I feel like I gotta bribe them fuckin'.

616
00:20:51,120 --> 00:20:53,840
Yeah, I gotta bribe my doctor to get me eczema cream.

617
00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:54,800
Ain't that a bitch?

618
00:20:54,800 --> 00:20:55,640
Yeah, that's crazy.

619
00:20:55,640 --> 00:20:56,800
Just give me the shit.

620
00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:57,640
Yeah.

621
00:20:57,640 --> 00:20:59,520
Tropical, it's a tropical steroid.

622
00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:01,480
Tropical steroid?

623
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:02,640
Is it topical or tropical?

624
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:03,840
It's definitely topical, dude.

625
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:04,680
Topical.

626
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:05,520
Why the fuck would it be tropical?

627
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:06,360
You know what?

628
00:21:06,360 --> 00:21:07,640
You know why I'm punchin'?

629
00:21:07,640 --> 00:21:10,400
Yeah, I've been saying that wrong for a long time.

630
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:11,240
Tropical.

631
00:21:11,240 --> 00:21:14,040
Tropical steroids, dude, what?

632
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:15,880
I've been saying that a lot for a long time.

633
00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:17,880
You and J, you just get jacked,

634
00:21:17,880 --> 00:21:20,400
start speaking like a Jamaican.

635
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,360
Tropical steroids, mon.

636
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:25,720
Fuckin' slow.

637
00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:28,720
Me and words, man.

638
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:31,040
It's crazy, I'm doing a thing where I have to talk.

639
00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:31,880
Yeah.

640
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:33,520
That's what I'm trying to do.

641
00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:35,480
As long as you don't have to talk for too long.

642
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:36,320
Yeah, yeah.

643
00:21:36,320 --> 00:21:37,160
You can get away with five minutes.

644
00:21:37,160 --> 00:21:38,840
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

645
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:40,760
I can get, I think I can do,

646
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:42,800
I can do Tim right now.

647
00:21:42,800 --> 00:21:43,640
It would be shaky,

648
00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:45,480
I will be doing that joke that never works,

649
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:47,840
but that would be in there, the broke joke.

650
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:48,880
Like half my material.

651
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:49,720
Yeah.

652
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:51,720
The jokes that don't work.

653
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:52,560
Yeah.

654
00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:56,720
And the joke, I swear, it's always the jokes

655
00:21:56,720 --> 00:22:00,160
that you think are throwaways.

656
00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:01,160
Yeah, people like.

657
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:02,240
You know, you build these lines and you're like,

658
00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:04,760
why the fuck everybody's laughing at that shit?

659
00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:06,800
I'm just waiting for the day that I write a joke

660
00:22:06,800 --> 00:22:09,040
that I'm proud of and I think is funny,

661
00:22:09,040 --> 00:22:11,200
and then other people also find it funny.

662
00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:13,000
The only ones that I tell right now

663
00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:14,360
that get like good laughs or shit,

664
00:22:14,360 --> 00:22:16,320
where I was like, I'll just try this out.

665
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:18,560
I was never confident in them, and then people laugh,

666
00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:19,960
and I was like, what the fuck, dude?

667
00:22:19,960 --> 00:22:20,800
Shit sucks.

668
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:22,080
You're preaching to the choir, man.

669
00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:23,440
Like dude, it's like, I be like,

670
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:24,280
nah, that ain't going to happen.

671
00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:25,400
Somebody's like, just do it, man.

672
00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:26,600
I be like, fine, I'll go try it.

673
00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:29,480
And then I'm like, oh shit, that was good.

674
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:30,320
What the fuck?

675
00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:33,400
Speaking of bad jokes, let's watch the clips.

676
00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:34,240
Yay!

677
00:22:35,400 --> 00:22:36,360
Clip of the week.

678
00:22:37,360 --> 00:22:39,600
Or a teacher, or a guy named Dennis

679
00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,840
who gives you candy and goes to your mom room.

680
00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:46,360
That was just me, man.

681
00:22:46,360 --> 00:22:47,440
That was just me.

682
00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:48,280
But, uh.

683
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:50,120
The gears are good.

684
00:22:50,120 --> 00:22:50,960
But, uh.

685
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:53,240
Fuck, what the fuck?

686
00:22:53,240 --> 00:22:54,760
Crash in the furnace, baby.

687
00:22:56,080 --> 00:22:57,720
I just literally just forgot.

688
00:22:57,720 --> 00:22:59,680
Fuck it, I forgot my whole house.

689
00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:01,760
I'm done with it now, all right?

690
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:02,600
I can't make it.

691
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:03,440
Ah.

692
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:04,280
Yeah.

693
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:07,200
What the fuck else do I just want to talk about?

694
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:09,760
I'm probably about done anyway, right?

695
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:11,040
Nico did not save you.

696
00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:12,200
He was like, one more minute.

697
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:13,040
Right?

698
00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:13,880
I got everything though.

699
00:23:13,880 --> 00:23:14,720
I don't have my phone.

700
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:15,880
I don't even have my phone on me.

701
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:17,200
All right, guys, I'm done calling.

702
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:18,040
Welcome back here.

703
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:18,880
Call me.

704
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:20,200
Yeah.

705
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:21,960
That's how you fucking bomb, baby.

706
00:23:21,960 --> 00:23:23,320
Oh my gosh, dude.

707
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:25,000
That was, that's a great clip, dude.

708
00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,760
Not one sentence made sense.

709
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:27,600
I'm done.

710
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:28,440
I'm done.

711
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:29,280
I'm done.

712
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:30,600
That's about time, isn't it, Nico?

713
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:32,760
He's like, you have 60 seconds.

714
00:23:32,760 --> 00:23:34,360
It's going to feel like forever.

715
00:23:34,360 --> 00:23:36,520
Oh yeah, it'll feel like two decades.

716
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:38,440
I tried to think of, I couldn't think of the joke

717
00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:39,320
I planned to do.

718
00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:41,640
Damn sure couldn't think of another joke that I had.

719
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:42,480
I was completely blank right there.

720
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:43,840
Well, once you forget the plan, bro,

721
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:47,120
and you didn't plan to improvise, it's like, okay.

722
00:23:47,120 --> 00:23:49,240
It was like, I'm doing my set for this show.

723
00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:50,080
I'm doing it.

724
00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:52,360
It's like, I can't even remember the next joke.

725
00:23:52,360 --> 00:23:54,440
I don't even know what it is at all.

726
00:23:54,440 --> 00:23:55,280
Yeah.

727
00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:56,100
I don't know the punchline.

728
00:23:56,100 --> 00:23:56,940
I don't know the setup.

729
00:23:56,940 --> 00:23:58,280
I don't know any of the tags.

730
00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:00,160
It might not even exist anymore, dude.

731
00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:01,760
I fucking forgot it permanently.

732
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:03,560
I'm preaching to the choir.

733
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:07,960
Dude, because my memory is just fucking horrible.

734
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:09,480
I had to pick that clip, dude.

735
00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:10,640
It's a growth moment.

736
00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:11,480
Oh yeah.

737
00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:12,300
It's a learning moment.

738
00:24:12,300 --> 00:24:13,140
I love it.

739
00:24:13,140 --> 00:24:15,520
Shit happens to me like once every other open mic.

740
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:17,840
I forget some part of the joke.

741
00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:18,680
Oh yeah.

742
00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:20,760
On Monday, I forgot my closer.

743
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:22,400
It was like, I was telling a joke about

744
00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:24,280
three unfortunate truths or whatever,

745
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:26,200
and I only said two of them.

746
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:29,180
And I had like plenty of time to finish the joke.

747
00:24:29,180 --> 00:24:30,920
I just fucking forgot.

748
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:31,760
It happens, dude.

749
00:24:31,760 --> 00:24:32,600
It happens, dude.

750
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:33,440
It happens.

751
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:35,040
I mean, it's a hard game.

752
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:36,600
This comedy shit ain't easy.

753
00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:38,320
It's hard for us.

754
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,560
It's hard for people like us.

755
00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:42,720
And JJ don't remember shit.

756
00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:44,520
I can't remember anything, bro.

757
00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:46,920
First of all, I'm gonna have to go back,

758
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:48,360
but I'm probably have to cut it out

759
00:24:48,360 --> 00:24:50,800
when you said the same story.

760
00:24:50,800 --> 00:24:52,560
You tried to do this twice.

761
00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:54,520
On the last episode, you were telling a story.

762
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:56,600
I cut it out and you were like,

763
00:24:56,600 --> 00:24:58,160
I was like, yeah, you told that last episode.

764
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:00,000
You were like, oh man.

765
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,080
This time you just tell the whole story again.

766
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:03,240
It just means they're good stories.

767
00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:04,060
Yeah, they are good.

768
00:25:04,060 --> 00:25:04,900
They're memorable.

769
00:25:04,900 --> 00:25:05,740
Great stories.

770
00:25:05,740 --> 00:25:06,560
But I can't remember.

771
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:09,880
All right, let's see this one.

772
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:11,160
All right.

773
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:12,760
This son of a bitch right here.

774
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:14,560
Go.

775
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:17,640
He's playing all the geriatric classics.

776
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:20,640
We got the Weather Channel, The Price is Right,

777
00:25:20,640 --> 00:25:25,480
Wheel of Fortune, and my personal favorite, HGTV.

778
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:29,040
Now I'm very passionate about Home and Garden Television

779
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,240
and I'm not afraid to say that.

780
00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:33,440
That program tickles my fancy.

781
00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:34,280
I like it.

782
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:37,580
It took me a little while to get into it.

783
00:25:37,580 --> 00:25:38,940
I didn't get it at first,

784
00:25:38,940 --> 00:25:41,480
but about three episodes in to flip that house,

785
00:25:41,480 --> 00:25:43,160
it clipped, right?

786
00:25:43,160 --> 00:25:44,400
I started saying shit like,

787
00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:47,940
did Carol really go with the glass tile backsplash

788
00:25:47,940 --> 00:25:50,840
over the Calakatta marble?

789
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:53,560
Oh my gosh.

790
00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:55,480
What a fucking catastrophe that is.

791
00:25:55,480 --> 00:25:58,180
You said you were going for Southern Rustic.

792
00:25:58,180 --> 00:26:00,420
That's giving more strip club kitchenette,

793
00:26:00,420 --> 00:26:02,020
but it's your house.

794
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:07,640
Damn, I'm pulling a dime for you.

795
00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:08,480
Oh, shit.

796
00:26:10,040 --> 00:26:12,240
See, I got the biggest pop of my entire show.

797
00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:13,080
Hey.

798
00:26:13,080 --> 00:26:14,720
Strip club kitchenette at your house.

799
00:26:14,720 --> 00:26:16,360
Okay, all I'm saying is this.

800
00:26:16,360 --> 00:26:20,320
Hey, you hear people in the background go, oh.

801
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:23,120
And then you hear Brandon at the end just saying, damn.

802
00:26:23,120 --> 00:26:26,080
No, it's my weird response to everything, damn.

803
00:26:26,080 --> 00:26:30,700
I think it's just a very deep instinct in the human psyche.

804
00:26:30,700 --> 00:26:33,520
If you are failing, throw somebody else under the bus.

805
00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:34,360
Of course.

806
00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:35,200
Yeah.

807
00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:36,120
Save yourself.

808
00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:39,160
And you want to know if I was mad about that?

809
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:42,840
No, but I was mad about him asking if I was mad about that.

810
00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:45,080
I was like, Dom, you're okay, right?

811
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:46,760
I know you're the sensitive type.

812
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:47,600
Yeah, me?

813
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:50,880
Everybody think I give a fuck.

814
00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:51,720
You can say whatever you want about me.

815
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:53,440
You should have seen his face.

816
00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:56,240
We were sitting at the can of bar, at the bar.

817
00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:57,520
Shout out, mad, dude.

818
00:26:57,520 --> 00:26:58,880
Shout out.

819
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:01,240
Dom turned around and he was like,

820
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:04,040
he looked like I had just said I shot his mom in the face.

821
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:05,800
Dude, he was so pissed.

822
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:07,520
But I had to ask, dude.

823
00:27:07,520 --> 00:27:09,440
No, never ask again.

824
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:10,280
I never will.

825
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:11,520
Nothing's gonna, yeah.

826
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:13,880
Oh, we know we never did a roast battle.

827
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:16,440
Have you ever been, have you been invited to one?

828
00:27:16,440 --> 00:27:17,280
No, I don't think so.

829
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:18,800
They have them here, you know that, right?

830
00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:20,120
No.

831
00:27:20,120 --> 00:27:22,160
Ty Funny was telling me about it.

832
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:23,960
And they have one like in December or something.

833
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:24,800
I want to go watch it.

834
00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:25,840
Me too.

835
00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:28,880
I never see like promo for those.

836
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:29,840
Who doesn't?

837
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:31,600
I mean, I've never seen one,

838
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:33,200
but he was just telling me they have one,

839
00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:35,640
like they're gonna dress up as different people.

840
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:37,040
And then you write roasts for,

841
00:27:37,040 --> 00:27:39,280
like saying you're Benjamin Franklin.

842
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:40,840
You know, they're gonna have a list of people

843
00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:42,680
and they write roasts for the person,

844
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:44,680
like the person they're imitating.

845
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:45,520
Oh, got you.

846
00:27:45,520 --> 00:27:46,760
That's shenanigans, I believe.

847
00:27:46,760 --> 00:27:47,680
Shout out, shenanigans.

848
00:27:47,680 --> 00:27:48,520
Hell yeah.

849
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:49,360
Shout out.

850
00:27:49,360 --> 00:27:50,880
Kim, Jessica.

851
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:52,560
Kim, Jessica, always treating us right.

852
00:27:52,560 --> 00:27:56,320
The Ripper, go up there, get that beast of a Jimmy Jam,

853
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:57,560
I call them, y'all call them.

854
00:27:57,560 --> 00:27:58,400
Blizzies.

855
00:27:58,400 --> 00:27:59,240
Blizzies, yeah, yeah.

856
00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:00,080
People call them blizzies.

857
00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:00,920
Yep, blizzies.

858
00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:01,760
Yeah, yeah.

859
00:28:01,760 --> 00:28:03,040
Them hot dogs, man.

860
00:28:03,040 --> 00:28:04,800
Big Four Locos, you got all kind of beer.

861
00:28:04,800 --> 00:28:07,160
Oh, dude, the Four Loco.

862
00:28:07,160 --> 00:28:08,000
I love it.

863
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:08,840
That's the young people's drink.

864
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:10,040
I love it, dude.

865
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:13,760
Seven dollars to be drunk for three hours.

866
00:28:13,760 --> 00:28:14,920
Can't beat that, dude.

867
00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:15,760
You can't beat it.

868
00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:16,800
Can't beat it.

869
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:18,600
It will explode your heart, though.

870
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:20,880
I think some of it, it depends on the flavor.

871
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:22,680
See, when they first, were you drinking

872
00:28:22,680 --> 00:28:23,880
when they first came out?

873
00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:25,080
I wasn't alive when they first came out, dog.

874
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:25,920
Are you serious?

875
00:28:25,920 --> 00:28:28,680
Dude, I just, I'm 21.

876
00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:30,280
I'm able to drink this year.

877
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:32,000
I know, I forget how young you are.

878
00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:33,760
You're old, though, you got like an old mind and shit.

879
00:28:33,760 --> 00:28:34,600
Old soul.

880
00:28:34,600 --> 00:28:35,680
Yeah, old soul.

881
00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:37,040
But, not old mind like.

882
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:38,760
That means you're lame as fuck, by the way.

883
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:40,360
That's exactly what that means.

884
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:44,880
But, back in the day when they first came out,

885
00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:48,040
they were like literally red bull, like half red bull.

886
00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:50,520
There was like energy, I've heard the lore.

887
00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:51,360
Yeah, but they killed people.

888
00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:52,200
I wasn't around for that.

889
00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:53,040
Yeah.

890
00:28:53,040 --> 00:28:56,320
But they used to, two of those, two of those tall boys,

891
00:28:56,320 --> 00:28:57,160
gone.

892
00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:58,000
Yeah.

893
00:28:58,000 --> 00:28:59,880
Three of them, you're throwing up and you're hurting.

894
00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:01,160
You're feeling bad.

895
00:29:01,160 --> 00:29:05,160
Dude, they have a fucking warheads flavor Four Loco.

896
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:06,840
It's a painful drink, dude.

897
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:07,880
It's a painful drink.

898
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:12,880
So sour and the alcohol taste, it doesn't work well.

899
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:14,240
Will I drink one?

900
00:29:14,240 --> 00:29:15,080
Yeah.

901
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:15,920
Yeah.

902
00:29:15,920 --> 00:29:17,720
Wait, so what year were they doing the energy drinks,

903
00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:19,240
half that and then half like alcohol?

904
00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:20,400
That was like when they first came out.

905
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:21,440
Yeah, that was back when,

906
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:22,960
I think I had already graduated though.

907
00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:25,840
So it was like probably 2010 or something.

908
00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:27,320
Maybe a little bit before that.

909
00:29:27,320 --> 00:29:29,520
The Four Loco Gold is my favorite.

910
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:30,360
I've never had that.

911
00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:31,920
The golden pineapple, dude.

912
00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:32,740
That sounds good.

913
00:29:32,740 --> 00:29:34,000
That beautiful cylinder, man.

914
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:37,960
Oh shit.

915
00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:38,800
So I like that.

916
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:40,800
I love that a HGTV joke.

917
00:29:40,800 --> 00:29:42,200
You gonna keep that in there?

918
00:29:42,200 --> 00:29:43,200
Yeah, yeah.

919
00:29:43,200 --> 00:29:45,120
I keep trying to remember it.

920
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:48,600
Like I did it once and then I brought it back.

921
00:29:48,600 --> 00:29:50,040
That was the first time I brought it back

922
00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:51,360
after like two months.

923
00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:53,040
Oh, you had done it before this?

924
00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:55,200
I did it once at Rocket Republic.

925
00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:56,520
Oh, okay.

926
00:29:56,520 --> 00:29:58,560
And it went over pretty well.

927
00:29:58,560 --> 00:30:00,680
And then I tried it once at the Speak Easy mic

928
00:30:00,680 --> 00:30:01,760
when it first started.

929
00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:02,880
And then that was the first time

930
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:05,040
I brought it back since then.

931
00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:07,080
But I like that joke, man.

932
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:07,920
I think it's funny.

933
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:08,880
Yeah, it is funny.

934
00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:10,240
It's real hit or miss.

935
00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:11,080
It's real hit or miss.

936
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:13,760
It's either it gets good laughs all the way through

937
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:15,880
or it kinda crashes and burns.

938
00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:16,720
Oh, okay.

939
00:30:17,720 --> 00:30:20,640
Hey, has Nico ever seen you do karaoke?

940
00:30:20,640 --> 00:30:22,160
No.

941
00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:23,000
Remember?

942
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:23,820
Oh my God.

943
00:30:23,820 --> 00:30:25,520
Dude, he was telling us you were like amazing.

944
00:30:25,520 --> 00:30:27,200
Yeah, and he was like you're a rapper.

945
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:29,320
Nico, you're a fucking rat, dude.

946
00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:30,600
You're a fucking piece of shit for that.

947
00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:32,640
Cause I specifically remember telling you,

948
00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:34,280
I can't fucking sing.

949
00:30:34,280 --> 00:30:35,760
I can't sing at all.

950
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:38,240
It sounds so monotone and off key, dude.

951
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:40,000
It's one of my biggest insecurities.

952
00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:41,740
It's my singing and also my dancing.

953
00:30:41,740 --> 00:30:43,920
So fuck you, Nico, for being able to sing

954
00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:46,880
and fuck you, Bryce Fletcher, for being able to dance, dude.

955
00:30:46,880 --> 00:30:47,720
Damn, I was gonna ask you to sing.

956
00:30:47,720 --> 00:30:50,240
You're the only white dude I know that can dance.

957
00:30:50,240 --> 00:30:52,840
You're not even like a trustable white to be around.

958
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:56,600
If a fucking party breaks out, a flash mob dance circle,

959
00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:58,400
I'm the only one that can't dance, dude.

960
00:30:58,400 --> 00:30:59,240
I can't dance either.

961
00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:00,080
Cause Bryce is bitch ass.

962
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:02,240
Bryce can dance better than me and I'm black.

963
00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:03,720
So he'll be in there.

964
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:05,000
He's always moving.

965
00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:07,200
Do it and shit.

966
00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:09,240
Bryce Fletcher, that's his own today.

967
00:31:09,240 --> 00:31:10,280
Yeah, no way.

968
00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:11,120
Oh shit.

969
00:31:11,120 --> 00:31:12,640
No way, we might be in different clothes

970
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:15,320
because we might not be shooting today.

971
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:19,160
But today when you see it, it'll be Bryce Fletcher.

972
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:20,480
Fucking hilarious.

973
00:31:20,480 --> 00:31:21,320
Love Bryce.

974
00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:22,560
Dude, he's funny, man.

975
00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:23,400
And he's a cool dude.

976
00:31:23,400 --> 00:31:24,240
Like you guys are gonna be like,

977
00:31:24,240 --> 00:31:25,640
oh, I kinda wanna hang out with Bryce.

978
00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:27,100
But he will sneak diss you though.

979
00:31:27,100 --> 00:31:28,840
Oh yeah, yeah, that's the best part.

980
00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:30,720
Get a sneak diss from Bryce.

981
00:31:30,720 --> 00:31:32,960
You sneak dissed me last night, dude.

982
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:35,800
We're standing inside the lobby at Shenanigans.

983
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:38,960
And I was wearing this hoodie with like a flannel over it

984
00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:39,920
cause it was cold.

985
00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:42,280
And Syfy was like, I like your vibe, man.

986
00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:43,720
You're like white trash vibe,

987
00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:45,720
but you wouldn't call me the N word.

988
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:47,000
And then Bryce was like,

989
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:49,040
it's not even that fucking hard to do, man.

990
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:50,440
Like it's just layering.

991
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:51,720
I'm like, fuck you, Bryce.

992
00:31:51,720 --> 00:31:54,280
You're wearing your fucking work uniform, dude.

993
00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:55,920
You put in zero effort for this.

994
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:58,600
The tight ass shirt this nigga be wearing.

995
00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:00,200
That fucking camo shirt, dude.

996
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:02,280
Yeah, see his nipples through that motherfucker.

997
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:04,680
Boy, you better get some tape.

998
00:32:04,680 --> 00:32:06,440
Glass with those things, dude.

999
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:08,040
Put that shit away.

1000
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:09,920
There are children around.

1001
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:10,960
Brandon's here.

1002
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:11,800
Hell yeah.

1003
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:13,920
But no, dude, I'm not gonna lie.

1004
00:32:13,920 --> 00:32:14,760
Who you staring at over here?

1005
00:32:14,760 --> 00:32:16,600
You looked at the other camera.

1006
00:32:16,600 --> 00:32:17,440
My bad, y'all.

1007
00:32:17,440 --> 00:32:19,760
Look, I'm not even over that motherfucker.

1008
00:32:19,760 --> 00:32:20,600
My bad, y'all.

1009
00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:22,600
It's like fucking right there.

1010
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:23,880
You got your own camera.

1011
00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:25,400
Hello, my bad.

1012
00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:27,200
But anyways, dude,

1013
00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:29,240
I used to think he was doing like wrestling and stuff

1014
00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:30,440
when he'd pull out all them waters.

1015
00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:32,280
Like, what is he getting ready for?

1016
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:33,680
He's training for something.

1017
00:32:33,680 --> 00:32:34,960
He's just a really fit guy.

1018
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:37,960
Yeah, I know.

1019
00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:40,160
If he can ever stop zen-ing, dude.

1020
00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:41,120
Vaping.

1021
00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:43,400
Zen-ing and stealing my cigarettes.

1022
00:32:43,400 --> 00:32:44,280
Even though I often do.

1023
00:32:44,280 --> 00:32:46,440
He asked me last night if I had cigarettes.

1024
00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:47,720
I was like, fuck no, dude.

1025
00:32:47,720 --> 00:32:49,440
I'm not there yet.

1026
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:51,160
Give me a few years, man.

1027
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:52,440
I like to open up the pack.

1028
00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:53,960
Like if we're out somewhere,

1029
00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:55,040
I like to open up the pack

1030
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:57,160
and don't ask him right away if he wants one.

1031
00:32:57,160 --> 00:32:58,480
And he just watches.

1032
00:32:58,480 --> 00:32:59,320
He can't help it.

1033
00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:00,920
He's just like looking down the pack, looking up.

1034
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:01,760
Salivating.

1035
00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:02,760
Yeah.

1036
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:04,000
Gosh, dude.

1037
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,000
He's looking at that cigarette like a pit bull

1038
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:07,800
looks at a two year old.

1039
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:08,640
Just ready, dude.

1040
00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:10,800
He can't fucking shake it and shit.

1041
00:33:10,800 --> 00:33:11,640
Tweaking.

1042
00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:15,120
He's fucking stupid.

1043
00:33:16,600 --> 00:33:17,920
All right.

1044
00:33:17,920 --> 00:33:18,760
That's all for us.

1045
00:33:18,760 --> 00:33:21,320
This week's featured comedian.

1046
00:33:22,720 --> 00:33:24,040
Internet pornography.

1047
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:24,880
Yay.

1048
00:33:24,880 --> 00:33:25,720
Yay.

1049
00:33:25,720 --> 00:33:26,560
Yay.

1050
00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:29,160
Tell me your favorite porn star, go.

1051
00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:30,000
Owen Gray.

1052
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:31,400
Oh, what's who?

1053
00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:32,240
Owen Gray.

1054
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:33,320
Oh my God, that's amazing.

1055
00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:36,600
Oh my God, that's a freaky ass crowd.

1056
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:38,160
Hell yeah, how we doing everybody?

1057
00:33:38,160 --> 00:33:39,000
Hey.

1058
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:40,800
Awesome, glad to see you guys out.

1059
00:33:40,800 --> 00:33:42,440
I brought my family out.

1060
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:45,040
It turns out my sister's biggest favorite porn star

1061
00:33:45,040 --> 00:33:46,120
is Owen Gray.

1062
00:33:46,120 --> 00:33:46,960
Oh my God.

1063
00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:47,800
Oh my God.

1064
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:48,640
Oh my God.

1065
00:33:48,640 --> 00:33:50,040
We're gonna be learning today.

1066
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:50,880
Oh my God.

1067
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:52,960
See you later if you get pregnant.

1068
00:33:52,960 --> 00:33:53,800
Okay.

1069
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:55,360
We're having fun.

1070
00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:56,280
Wanna start this thing?

1071
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:58,200
Yeah, yeah, we might as well.

1072
00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:01,360
Today our guest is the worst type of white dude.

1073
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:02,200
He's the worst.

1074
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:05,440
My least favorite type of white dude because he can dance.

1075
00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:07,600
That makes me the only one that can't

1076
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:09,320
if I'm in the group with him.

1077
00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:10,160
So that's fun.

1078
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:11,640
He always has a gallon of water

1079
00:34:11,640 --> 00:34:14,480
because he's athletic and sporty and cool.

1080
00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:16,560
The strongest comic in Unceville.

1081
00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:17,400
Extremely powerful.

1082
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:19,120
Avenger level strength.

1083
00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:21,560
It's Bryce Fletcher, dude.

1084
00:34:21,560 --> 00:34:22,880
That's me, what's up?

1085
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:24,280
Yeah, what's up?

1086
00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:25,400
What's up?

1087
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:26,240
Be nasty.

1088
00:34:26,240 --> 00:34:27,480
I'm excited to be here, dudes.

1089
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:30,320
The sneak discer of all sneak discers, dude.

1090
00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:31,160
I don't sneak diss, dude.

1091
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:33,120
He slides it in, but it's to your face,

1092
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:34,640
so I guess it's not sneak dissing,

1093
00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:35,480
but it goes over your head.

1094
00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:37,280
Yeah, I only say it to you.

1095
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:38,880
That's fucked up, dude.

1096
00:34:38,880 --> 00:34:40,320
It's fucked up.

1097
00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:41,920
Brother's name is Chad.

1098
00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:43,200
Yeah.

1099
00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:44,240
White boy names.

1100
00:34:44,240 --> 00:34:45,360
That's unfortunate, man.

1101
00:34:45,360 --> 00:34:46,680
Bryce and Chad, man.

1102
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:50,840
Have you did your ancestry to see how white you are?

1103
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:51,920
Oh, I don't wanna know.

1104
00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:52,760
You don't wanna know?

1105
00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:54,680
Do you think it is, or do you know?

1106
00:34:54,680 --> 00:34:57,560
I think it's just German, and then the white guy.

1107
00:34:57,560 --> 00:34:59,840
Definitely got the German in there, for sure.

1108
00:34:59,840 --> 00:35:00,840
Get on him.

1109
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:02,360
Nah, I think it's just all white guy stuff.

1110
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:03,200
What do you got?

1111
00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:06,360
Dude, my sister made my whole family do ours,

1112
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:08,240
and we kinda had different results,

1113
00:35:08,240 --> 00:35:10,760
so I'm thinking I might not actually be related

1114
00:35:10,760 --> 00:35:13,160
to these people after all, but anyways.

1115
00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:14,240
It happens.

1116
00:35:14,240 --> 00:35:16,760
It's like, it's British, it's Irish,

1117
00:35:16,760 --> 00:35:19,000
it's the white shit, dude.

1118
00:35:19,000 --> 00:35:20,880
And then it's like that one,

1119
00:35:20,880 --> 00:35:23,360
one and a half percent Sub-Saharan African

1120
00:35:23,360 --> 00:35:25,280
that you all know is from slavery,

1121
00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:26,720
but you just don't talk about it.

1122
00:35:26,720 --> 00:35:27,920
You said one and a half?

1123
00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:29,000
Yeah, something like that.

1124
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:30,040
It's sub two percent.

1125
00:35:30,040 --> 00:35:30,880
I don't think so.

1126
00:35:30,880 --> 00:35:31,720
You can say the hard-R.

1127
00:35:31,720 --> 00:35:32,560
I don't, you know.

1128
00:35:32,560 --> 00:35:33,400
That's an opinion.

1129
00:35:33,400 --> 00:35:34,520
It's kind of a lot, yeah.

1130
00:35:34,520 --> 00:35:35,360
Two percent?

1131
00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:38,560
I'll try it at Boxcar on Sunday.

1132
00:35:38,560 --> 00:35:40,280
We'll see how it goes.

1133
00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:41,800
Don't worry, guys.

1134
00:35:41,800 --> 00:35:43,560
You know Mike Perry did that?

1135
00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:44,680
The UFC fighter?

1136
00:35:44,680 --> 00:35:45,520
Nah.

1137
00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:47,840
He tested his DNA, he was like one percent black,

1138
00:35:47,840 --> 00:35:49,080
so he just said the N-word.

1139
00:35:49,080 --> 00:35:50,760
He thought it was okay.

1140
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:51,960
Everybody shit on him for it.

1141
00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:53,800
He didn't think it was okay.

1142
00:35:53,800 --> 00:35:55,360
He said that, all right, let me rephrase.

1143
00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:57,440
He knew he was a UFC fighter,

1144
00:35:57,440 --> 00:36:00,040
and he could probably whoop their ass.

1145
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:01,040
Yeah.

1146
00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:01,880
Oh my gosh.

1147
00:36:01,880 --> 00:36:04,360
Just like when Tyson Fury beat Walder like that,

1148
00:36:04,360 --> 00:36:06,080
he was like, and then it's still the old video

1149
00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:07,360
of him saying nigga, and it was like,

1150
00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:09,560
we was like, we sent our best.

1151
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:10,400
We sent our best guys.

1152
00:36:10,400 --> 00:36:11,240
What the fuck do you want us to do about it?

1153
00:36:11,240 --> 00:36:12,760
He's our number one dude, bro.

1154
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:13,600
What am I gonna do?

1155
00:36:13,600 --> 00:36:14,440
Yeah, exactly.

1156
00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:15,280
Beat my ass?

1157
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:16,120
Nope, thank you.

1158
00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:17,360
Jeez.

1159
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:20,160
You're a hard person to find information on, man.

1160
00:36:20,160 --> 00:36:21,000
I try to be.

1161
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:23,160
What's your occupation?

1162
00:36:23,160 --> 00:36:25,200
I work at a sporting goods store.

1163
00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:26,040
Hell yeah.

1164
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:26,960
Access to firearms.

1165
00:36:26,960 --> 00:36:27,800
Mm-hmm.

1166
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:28,640
Ooh, that is true.

1167
00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:29,480
Scary.

1168
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:30,320
That's something, dude.

1169
00:36:30,320 --> 00:36:33,960
Scary, yeah, camouflage, ghillie suits.

1170
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:35,920
See, he's naming shit I ain't even thought of yet.

1171
00:36:35,920 --> 00:36:36,840
I think about it all day.

1172
00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:38,080
That's all I think about.

1173
00:36:38,080 --> 00:36:39,720
How can I hurt people with what I got?

1174
00:36:39,720 --> 00:36:41,880
Folding chairs in case you get tired.

1175
00:36:42,960 --> 00:36:43,960
No, we're scared of those.

1176
00:36:43,960 --> 00:36:44,800
We're white.

1177
00:36:44,800 --> 00:36:46,440
We're afraid of those.

1178
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:47,360
Not the metal ones.

1179
00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:48,560
Yeah, I steer clear.

1180
00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:50,800
The cloth ones, the textiles, dude.

1181
00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:54,840
No, dude, we're trying to, we stalk all our guests.

1182
00:36:54,840 --> 00:36:57,160
We have an extensive research process

1183
00:36:57,160 --> 00:36:59,280
that consists of multiple layers of validation.

1184
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:00,880
What you got?

1185
00:37:00,880 --> 00:37:01,720
Not much, dude.

1186
00:37:02,880 --> 00:37:04,920
University of North Alabama.

1187
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:06,120
Now I knew this before.

1188
00:37:06,120 --> 00:37:07,160
You LinkedIn me?

1189
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:08,000
Okay.

1190
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,800
You have 15 skills on LinkedIn, actually.

1191
00:37:10,800 --> 00:37:12,280
You actually have 15 skills on there.

1192
00:37:12,280 --> 00:37:13,120
You really do.

1193
00:37:14,720 --> 00:37:17,040
But yeah, so marketing.

1194
00:37:17,040 --> 00:37:17,880
Marketing?

1195
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:19,600
Is that it?

1196
00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:20,440
Yes, sir.

1197
00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:21,880
Did you graduate with a marketing degree?

1198
00:37:21,880 --> 00:37:23,120
This is a job.

1199
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:25,680
It was a category management degree.

1200
00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:26,760
Okay, what the fuck is that?

1201
00:37:26,760 --> 00:37:27,760
What, dude?

1202
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:30,360
It was sold to me as some sort of specific degree

1203
00:37:30,360 --> 00:37:33,800
that'll guarantee me six figures straight out of college.

1204
00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:34,640
That was a lie.

1205
00:37:34,640 --> 00:37:35,680
It was not true.

1206
00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:39,680
So it's more like inside of a store,

1207
00:37:39,680 --> 00:37:43,280
you'll have categories of stuff, right?

1208
00:37:43,280 --> 00:37:46,440
Hard goods, soft goods, candy, blah, blah, blah.

1209
00:37:46,440 --> 00:37:48,200
How do you manage that within a store?

1210
00:37:48,200 --> 00:37:49,400
That was my degree.

1211
00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:51,080
Oh, damn, dude.

1212
00:37:51,080 --> 00:37:52,360
Yeah, pretty cool.

1213
00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:54,160
Is it hard to find something with that?

1214
00:37:56,440 --> 00:37:58,680
Well, you had to have a lot of computer shit

1215
00:37:58,680 --> 00:37:59,520
that I don't know.

1216
00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:00,520
Oh, fuck that, dude.

1217
00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:01,360
But also I was just like,

1218
00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:02,400
I think I'm just gonna do comedy.

1219
00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:03,840
This sucks.

1220
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:05,200
And he's fucking good, folks.

1221
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:07,520
Anytime you see his name on a flyer, you go out there,

1222
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:09,160
because this motherfucker smashes him out here.

1223
00:38:09,160 --> 00:38:10,160
He's a hero.

1224
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:11,680
He'll know from his jokes.

1225
00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:13,080
I'm a hero.

1226
00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:13,920
I'm a good guy.

1227
00:38:13,920 --> 00:38:15,920
He's also the toughest guy in Huntsville comedy.

1228
00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:17,000
I'm the strongest fighter.

1229
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:18,320
Strongest fighter in Huntsville comedy.

1230
00:38:18,320 --> 00:38:19,720
You got pretty deep on those squats.

1231
00:38:19,720 --> 00:38:21,280
I was impressed by that.

1232
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:22,880
I'm definitely the most nimble.

1233
00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:24,360
You're definitely the strongest guy

1234
00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:27,200
that smokes cigarettes in Huntsville comedy.

1235
00:38:27,200 --> 00:38:28,720
I don't smoke that many cigarettes.

1236
00:38:28,720 --> 00:38:30,160
He had light cigarette, you should know.

1237
00:38:30,160 --> 00:38:31,000
That's how I get you.

1238
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:33,480
Oh, I'm sponsored by all kinds of stuff.

1239
00:38:33,480 --> 00:38:34,600
Celsius, Zens.

1240
00:38:34,600 --> 00:38:35,440
Celsius, Zens, yeah.

1241
00:38:35,440 --> 00:38:37,760
These are my superpower equipment, huh?

1242
00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:38,920
Yeah, those Zens.

1243
00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:40,480
Yeah, I dip these too much.

1244
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:41,320
Do you?

1245
00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:42,140
Way too much.

1246
00:38:42,140 --> 00:38:43,120
But they don't have any like,

1247
00:38:43,120 --> 00:38:46,120
nothing negative can happen to you.

1248
00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:46,960
Yeah.

1249
00:38:46,960 --> 00:38:49,600
Andrew Huberman said it will take you forever.

1250
00:38:49,600 --> 00:38:50,600
Yeah, yeah.

1251
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:52,800
He said it'll make you way smarter than you are.

1252
00:38:52,800 --> 00:38:53,640
For real?

1253
00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:55,160
Yeah, somehow.

1254
00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:57,320
His jokes are smart, maybe it does work.

1255
00:38:57,320 --> 00:38:59,200
Do you Zen while you write jokes?

1256
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:00,040
I sure do.

1257
00:39:00,040 --> 00:39:01,280
Would you recommend that to all

1258
00:39:01,280 --> 00:39:04,120
the up and coming comedians out there?

1259
00:39:04,120 --> 00:39:05,440
Start Zening?

1260
00:39:05,440 --> 00:39:07,800
Yeah, do you like your heart to feel weird?

1261
00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:08,640
While you're trying to write a joke?

1262
00:39:08,640 --> 00:39:09,480
You get the palpitations, dude?

1263
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:10,320
I'm about to die, hurry.

1264
00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:12,000
Can't you just live life on the edge, bro?

1265
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:14,120
That should be their motto, their slogan.

1266
00:39:14,120 --> 00:39:15,040
Live life on the edge?

1267
00:39:15,040 --> 00:39:16,080
Life on the edge, dude.

1268
00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:17,400
Yeah, dude, this is just the threes, too.

1269
00:39:17,400 --> 00:39:18,760
They got sixes.

1270
00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:21,040
Some brands have like sevens and nines and shit.

1271
00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:22,000
That's crazy.

1272
00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:24,320
And people will put multiple in at a time.

1273
00:39:24,320 --> 00:39:26,600
But, dude, I think I told you about this.

1274
00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:30,000
I never like, vaped, smoked cigarettes or whatever.

1275
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:33,220
And then my friend gave me a six milligram Zen.

1276
00:39:33,220 --> 00:39:35,020
And I put it in, and like 10 minutes later,

1277
00:39:35,020 --> 00:39:36,480
I could not walk in the street.

1278
00:39:36,480 --> 00:39:37,840
I felt like I was drunk.

1279
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:39,920
And then I got so sick, dude, it was the worst.

1280
00:39:39,920 --> 00:39:41,100
So what all do you do?

1281
00:39:41,100 --> 00:39:43,960
Do you not, you smoke weed, you drink beer,

1282
00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:44,960
is that about it?

1283
00:39:44,960 --> 00:39:46,400
You don't do cigarettes, you don't?

1284
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:50,740
I don't, I won't ever like go and buy alcohol

1285
00:39:50,740 --> 00:39:51,960
like for myself.

1286
00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:53,840
But if I'm out somewhere, I'll have a drink.

1287
00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:55,720
You've never bought alcohol?

1288
00:39:55,720 --> 00:39:56,720
I'm not saying that.

1289
00:39:57,600 --> 00:39:58,440
That's kind of what the game was.

1290
00:39:58,440 --> 00:39:59,840
I mean, he's young though, you know?

1291
00:39:59,840 --> 00:40:02,240
He just, when did you turn 21?

1292
00:40:02,240 --> 00:40:03,360
Over the summer.

1293
00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:04,180
Oh, okay.

1294
00:40:04,180 --> 00:40:05,020
Yeah.

1295
00:40:05,020 --> 00:40:05,860
Give it time.

1296
00:40:05,860 --> 00:40:06,680
Give it time.

1297
00:40:06,680 --> 00:40:08,320
Let the sadness set in, dude.

1298
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:09,160
Yeah, I'm gonna do the six pack.

1299
00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:10,480
I keep bombing like this, dude.

1300
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:12,640
This could go downhill fast.

1301
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:13,760
You could do yourself a six pack.

1302
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:15,840
A little shooter on the side.

1303
00:40:15,840 --> 00:40:16,840
Oh, a little whiskey.

1304
00:40:16,840 --> 00:40:18,040
Yeah, it's just for me.

1305
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:19,760
No, there's-

1306
00:40:19,760 --> 00:40:20,840
It'll get you, bro.

1307
00:40:20,840 --> 00:40:23,240
No, we're not done with this.

1308
00:40:23,240 --> 00:40:26,200
Well, you know, alcoholism runs in my family, dude.

1309
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:27,040
Same z's.

1310
00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:28,120
Yeah.

1311
00:40:28,120 --> 00:40:29,960
That was supposed to be funnier than it was.

1312
00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:32,720
Yeah, no, he's trying to dunk on me with sadness.

1313
00:40:32,720 --> 00:40:33,540
You hear that?

1314
00:40:33,540 --> 00:40:34,380
Hell no.

1315
00:40:34,380 --> 00:40:35,320
Yeah, he's trying to sadness dunk.

1316
00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:36,880
Hell no.

1317
00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:38,720
I don't know what it was supposed to be,

1318
00:40:38,720 --> 00:40:41,520
but it was supposed to be better than that.

1319
00:40:41,520 --> 00:40:43,000
What, that your families were alcoholics?

1320
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:43,840
Everybody's is, right?

1321
00:40:43,840 --> 00:40:45,960
That's very common for a comedian

1322
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:47,960
to have alcoholic parents.

1323
00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:49,200
Oh, yeah.

1324
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:51,840
I mean, I wouldn't want it any other way, really.

1325
00:40:51,840 --> 00:40:54,640
I wouldn't have had half the experiences that I had, dude.

1326
00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:57,160
Especially you, you got some crazy ass one, too.

1327
00:40:57,160 --> 00:40:57,980
True.

1328
00:40:57,980 --> 00:40:58,820
He is wild.

1329
00:40:58,820 --> 00:40:59,660
Oh my gosh.

1330
00:40:59,660 --> 00:41:01,680
I was thinking about this recently.

1331
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:03,600
I was talking to my dad yesterday,

1332
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:04,520
and he was,

1333
00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:07,580
we were over at his house,

1334
00:41:07,580 --> 00:41:08,800
and we walked into his bedroom.

1335
00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:10,960
I hadn't been there in a while.

1336
00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:15,000
And he has the bedroom of like a teenage boy.

1337
00:41:15,000 --> 00:41:15,840
It's insane.

1338
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:18,240
My dad's a character, bro.

1339
00:41:18,240 --> 00:41:21,280
I love my dad, but he, we walked in,

1340
00:41:21,280 --> 00:41:24,760
and it's just like pictures of tigers

1341
00:41:24,760 --> 00:41:27,280
and like comic book posters

1342
00:41:28,140 --> 00:41:31,940
and like LED lights around the corners.

1343
00:41:31,940 --> 00:41:32,780
It's like an insane stuff.

1344
00:41:32,780 --> 00:41:34,080
Did he have little stars on the top

1345
00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:34,920
that glow in the dark?

1346
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:36,880
Little glow in the dark stars.

1347
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:39,720
Not those, dude, but I guess he's not there yet.

1348
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:42,680
Maybe he's Benjamin Button,

1349
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:43,600
now that I think about it.

1350
00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:45,800
He's gotten older, and he's regressing.

1351
00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:48,240
He's mentally regressing, but his body stays the same.

1352
00:41:48,240 --> 00:41:49,400
That's interesting.

1353
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:52,200
It's like tigers are cool as hell

1354
00:41:52,200 --> 00:41:54,440
when you're like 11 years old, dude.

1355
00:41:54,440 --> 00:41:55,280
And Brandon.

1356
00:41:55,280 --> 00:41:56,520
I have a tattoo of a tiger.

1357
00:41:56,520 --> 00:41:57,840
I really shouldn't be telling tigers.

1358
00:41:57,840 --> 00:41:58,680
Hell yeah.

1359
00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:03,520
True, tigers are cool.

1360
00:42:03,520 --> 00:42:04,960
I mean, they're not cool.

1361
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:06,200
Yeah.

1362
00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:07,240
I'm talking all that shit.

1363
00:42:07,240 --> 00:42:09,160
I have a tiger tattoo.

1364
00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:10,040
No you don't.

1365
00:42:10,040 --> 00:42:10,880
I do.

1366
00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:11,720
You got a tiger tattoo right here.

1367
00:42:11,720 --> 00:42:12,760
Yeah, right here.

1368
00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:15,080
Yeah, I'm talking all that shit.

1369
00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:16,920
They are cool, dude.

1370
00:42:16,920 --> 00:42:18,000
I changed my stance.

1371
00:42:19,500 --> 00:42:21,000
I forgot, dude.

1372
00:42:21,000 --> 00:42:22,840
Damn, it's fucking funny.

1373
00:42:22,840 --> 00:42:24,200
So what advice do you have

1374
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:27,680
any younger up-and-coming comedians?

1375
00:42:27,680 --> 00:42:29,480
Give us one, and we'll let you off after that.

1376
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:30,480
Just write a lot.

1377
00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:31,320
Right.

1378
00:42:31,320 --> 00:42:32,280
Do you guys write a bunch?

1379
00:42:32,280 --> 00:42:33,120
Yeah.

1380
00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:33,940
Try to.

1381
00:42:33,940 --> 00:42:35,400
I had to like switch up how I wrote

1382
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:36,960
because I was getting too robotic.

1383
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:37,800
Okay.

1384
00:42:37,800 --> 00:42:38,640
I was writing so much

1385
00:42:38,640 --> 00:42:40,920
that I was getting specific word to word

1386
00:42:40,920 --> 00:42:42,200
and you could hear it on stage

1387
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:44,280
and it was me remembering it.

1388
00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:47,000
So don't do that movie writing, Brandon.

1389
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:48,440
Don't do that.

1390
00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:50,920
I would always write just like bullet points

1391
00:42:50,920 --> 00:42:54,580
and try to fill it up with like end time thoughts,

1392
00:42:54,580 --> 00:42:56,280
like real time thoughts in the middle

1393
00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:58,420
and then bullet point your hard jokes

1394
00:42:58,420 --> 00:43:00,160
and then everything else, you know, keep it soft,

1395
00:43:00,160 --> 00:43:02,240
keep it conversational.

1396
00:43:02,240 --> 00:43:03,080
Damn.

1397
00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:04,080
Do you focus on your tags

1398
00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:06,000
whenever you're writing that in between though?

1399
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:06,840
Yeah, that's a part of it,

1400
00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:09,720
but those come naturally and then you try to reuse them

1401
00:43:09,720 --> 00:43:10,960
and then sometimes they fall off

1402
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:13,240
because it was such an end of moment thing.

1403
00:43:13,240 --> 00:43:15,680
But you know, we always just try to keep those.

1404
00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:17,840
That's what I've been doing recently.

1405
00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:20,000
Yeah, I've been learning comedy for like four years.

1406
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:21,880
Yeah, four year pro right here.

1407
00:43:21,880 --> 00:43:23,960
Four year pro.

1408
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:25,760
Hero, yeah, I gotta stop swatting.

1409
00:43:26,720 --> 00:43:27,760
Four year veteran, dude.

1410
00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:30,000
Yeah, in the NBA you'd be a veteran.

1411
00:43:30,000 --> 00:43:31,600
The Jerryman.

1412
00:43:31,600 --> 00:43:32,420
There you go.

1413
00:43:32,420 --> 00:43:33,260
There you go, dude.

1414
00:43:33,260 --> 00:43:36,280
What are you, what's a crazy thing that happened

1415
00:43:36,280 --> 00:43:37,380
at one of your shows?

1416
00:43:38,560 --> 00:43:39,400
Oh, nothing.

1417
00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:42,520
Oh, I was told that Bryce assaulted somebody.

1418
00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:44,200
Oh, need to hear about this.

1419
00:43:44,200 --> 00:43:45,440
I was gonna say nothing at all.

1420
00:43:45,440 --> 00:43:47,640
Oh yeah, one time I did hit him in.

1421
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:48,480
That's true.

1422
00:43:48,480 --> 00:43:50,080
Yeah, what was that about, dude?

1423
00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:51,380
He was talking all that shit

1424
00:43:51,380 --> 00:43:54,400
and I'm the strongest fighter that's ever lived.

1425
00:43:54,400 --> 00:43:55,720
So I had to show him what's up.

1426
00:43:55,720 --> 00:43:57,240
Self-fulfill your promise.

1427
00:43:57,240 --> 00:43:59,280
He was like, we were at the first open mic

1428
00:43:59,280 --> 00:44:01,440
at the Bar 805, right?

1429
00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:03,560
And did you guys ever go to that one, the Bar 805?

1430
00:44:03,560 --> 00:44:04,920
Okay, so yeah.

1431
00:44:05,840 --> 00:44:09,640
It was a, it was kind of, it's a fine bar or whatever,

1432
00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:11,280
but the clientele would be a little rough,

1433
00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:12,600
especially when we first got there.

1434
00:44:12,600 --> 00:44:14,880
They weren't quite, we hadn't run them off yet.

1435
00:44:14,880 --> 00:44:16,000
Yeah.

1436
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:17,720
As an open mic, that kind of happens sometimes.

1437
00:44:17,720 --> 00:44:19,560
Totally, I could see that.

1438
00:44:19,560 --> 00:44:22,240
Yeah, we go up, we're there and they're like,

1439
00:44:22,240 --> 00:44:24,620
they're old regulars, it's the very first night.

1440
00:44:24,620 --> 00:44:26,480
My boy Brent's hosting.

1441
00:44:26,480 --> 00:44:29,920
He's up there, he's squeaking around, you know how he is.

1442
00:44:29,920 --> 00:44:30,960
Oh, I don't know if you guys know him.

1443
00:44:30,960 --> 00:44:32,600
Is that the one that just got up on Kill Tony?

1444
00:44:32,600 --> 00:44:33,580
Yeah, yeah.

1445
00:44:33,580 --> 00:44:34,560
What's Heath?

1446
00:44:34,560 --> 00:44:35,400
No.

1447
00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:36,560
He came, he went up after you.

1448
00:44:36,560 --> 00:44:37,800
He went up like last week.

1449
00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:38,640
He was just on it.

1450
00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:39,760
You didn't even know?

1451
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:40,680
No, I don't watch Kill Tony.

1452
00:44:40,680 --> 00:44:42,120
Is he like skinny?

1453
00:44:42,120 --> 00:44:43,960
Yeah, Brent with the spiky hair?

1454
00:44:43,960 --> 00:44:46,000
Ah, I don't know if he is.

1455
00:44:46,000 --> 00:44:46,840
Okay, okay.

1456
00:44:46,840 --> 00:44:49,500
Anywho, they're talking shit about him, right?

1457
00:44:49,500 --> 00:44:51,080
And I go up there and I'm drunk, right?

1458
00:44:51,080 --> 00:44:52,040
This is back when I used to drink.

1459
00:44:52,040 --> 00:44:54,840
So I'm like, I'm wilding out a little bit.

1460
00:44:54,840 --> 00:44:56,240
And so I go up there and I walk up to him,

1461
00:44:56,240 --> 00:44:57,920
I'm like, hey man, you know,

1462
00:44:57,920 --> 00:45:00,080
this is like the classic thing the comics say.

1463
00:45:00,080 --> 00:45:02,200
It's like, hey, the sign up sheet's over there buddy.

1464
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:03,800
Yeah, why don't you go sign up, you know?

1465
00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:04,920
That's how I go tell him.

1466
00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:06,040
He's, and he's, he's sorry.

1467
00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:07,880
He just leans back in his chair, right?

1468
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:09,240
I don't want to do it because I don't want to get off mic.

1469
00:45:09,240 --> 00:45:11,320
But he like leans back in his chair,

1470
00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:15,160
looks at me and said, I'll fucking kick your ass, dude.

1471
00:45:15,160 --> 00:45:16,840
Yeah, which is the most, that's so cocky.

1472
00:45:16,840 --> 00:45:17,660
Yeah.

1473
00:45:17,660 --> 00:45:19,440
You don't even have gravity on your side, right?

1474
00:45:19,440 --> 00:45:21,640
They have nothing going for you, dude.

1475
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:24,160
So I like smack the end of the chair

1476
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:27,080
and he flips backwards, hits his head, rolls over,

1477
00:45:27,080 --> 00:45:28,480
and gets split up.

1478
00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:30,560
Some other guy comes over and punches him in the face,

1479
00:45:30,560 --> 00:45:31,400
which is pretty wild.

1480
00:45:31,400 --> 00:45:32,400
I'm some random dude?

1481
00:45:32,400 --> 00:45:33,240
Yeah, I got clout like that.

1482
00:45:33,240 --> 00:45:34,080
Damn, dude.

1483
00:45:34,080 --> 00:45:34,920
Yeah.

1484
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:35,760
You got shooters, bro.

1485
00:45:35,760 --> 00:45:38,600
I just started and walk off like that.

1486
00:45:38,600 --> 00:45:39,440
Damn, dude.

1487
00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:40,280
The explosion happened in front of me.

1488
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:42,120
Cool guys don't look at explosions, dude.

1489
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:42,960
Right?

1490
00:45:42,960 --> 00:45:43,800
Oh yeah.

1491
00:45:43,800 --> 00:45:44,840
You just start shit.

1492
00:45:44,840 --> 00:45:45,880
You don't finish it.

1493
00:45:45,880 --> 00:45:47,440
Yeah.

1494
00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:48,280
That was a pretty epic fight.

1495
00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:49,480
Others finish it for you.

1496
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:50,300
Yes.

1497
00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:52,680
That's the whole thing?

1498
00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:54,000
That's what I'm recruiting you two for, bro.

1499
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:54,840
What?

1500
00:45:54,840 --> 00:45:55,680
More headers.

1501
00:45:55,680 --> 00:45:56,640
Oh yeah, I got you, bro.

1502
00:45:56,640 --> 00:45:57,480
Okay, I know you do.

1503
00:45:57,480 --> 00:45:58,300
I ain't going to be as good as you.

1504
00:45:58,300 --> 00:46:00,400
Okay, Dom might actually go to prison for you.

1505
00:46:00,400 --> 00:46:03,680
Like, you'll be talking to Dom, he's like,

1506
00:46:03,680 --> 00:46:05,240
oh yeah, and then I was in prison.

1507
00:46:05,240 --> 00:46:06,080
I was like, what?

1508
00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:07,540
No, first of all, jail.

1509
00:46:08,960 --> 00:46:10,240
You got tiger tattoos, bro.

1510
00:46:10,240 --> 00:46:11,080
You're going to fight.

1511
00:46:11,080 --> 00:46:12,440
You're up next, bro.

1512
00:46:12,440 --> 00:46:13,840
I already know you can fight.

1513
00:46:14,720 --> 00:46:15,560
I'm a peaceful guy.

1514
00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:16,760
You got a mullet and tiger tattoos, bro.

1515
00:46:16,760 --> 00:46:17,580
You can fight.

1516
00:46:17,580 --> 00:46:20,120
Well, that just means I don't have a lot to lose, obviously.

1517
00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:22,280
I don't have a lot of respect for myself.

1518
00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:24,560
So I don't have a lot of respect for anybody else either.

1519
00:46:24,560 --> 00:46:25,640
JJ can knock somebody out.

1520
00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:26,480
I think so.

1521
00:46:26,480 --> 00:46:27,320
Big boy.

1522
00:46:27,320 --> 00:46:28,880
He's bigger than you think.

1523
00:46:28,880 --> 00:46:30,480
I'm a peaceful man, dude.

1524
00:46:30,480 --> 00:46:31,320
Peaceful man.

1525
00:46:31,320 --> 00:46:32,160
Yeah, yeah.

1526
00:46:32,160 --> 00:46:33,000
I can lead with Jesus.

1527
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:34,000
That's what scary people say, bro.

1528
00:46:34,000 --> 00:46:34,960
Yeah.

1529
00:46:34,960 --> 00:46:37,280
Those are the ones who blow up and just

1530
00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:39,200
snap, take somebody by the hair

1531
00:46:39,200 --> 00:46:41,280
and just drag them down a parking lot.

1532
00:46:41,280 --> 00:46:43,920
Just ice his saw somebody's head off.

1533
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:44,760
Can of water.

1534
00:46:44,760 --> 00:46:45,600
That's what I'm saying.

1535
00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:46,440
You got your dad in you, bro,

1536
00:46:46,440 --> 00:46:48,600
and he sleeps with his clothes on.

1537
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:49,440
Ready to go, dude.

1538
00:46:49,440 --> 00:46:50,880
And has a little boy's room, so.

1539
00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:54,240
I think he might murder people too.

1540
00:46:54,240 --> 00:46:55,080
He might, dude.

1541
00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:56,120
I think he might have that in you.

1542
00:46:56,120 --> 00:46:57,960
He might.

1543
00:46:57,960 --> 00:46:59,880
He's definitely probably killed someone.

1544
00:46:59,880 --> 00:47:00,720
Yeah.

1545
00:47:00,720 --> 00:47:03,040
Dude, I don't know if he has,

1546
00:47:03,040 --> 00:47:05,640
but if it wouldn't be the biggest shock of my life.

1547
00:47:05,640 --> 00:47:08,080
You know, it'd be like, oh yeah, sky's blue.

1548
00:47:08,080 --> 00:47:09,640
I knew that.

1549
00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:11,000
That he doesn't still kill people.

1550
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:11,840
That's good.

1551
00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:12,660
I don't think.

1552
00:47:12,660 --> 00:47:13,600
That's pretty cool.

1553
00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:15,600
It's not in his record.

1554
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:18,640
You gotta give a boy a chance to grow a little bit

1555
00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:20,760
before you start judging him now, dude.

1556
00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:24,200
For the Payton family, it just takes about 50 years.

1557
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:27,280
And then we're like mentally 16.

1558
00:47:28,960 --> 00:47:30,680
Operative vehicle, dude.

1559
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:31,520
Hell yeah.

1560
00:47:31,520 --> 00:47:32,360
I love that shit.

1561
00:47:33,520 --> 00:47:34,640
Payton family.

1562
00:47:34,640 --> 00:47:35,480
Yeah.

1563
00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:36,320
Yeah.

1564
00:47:36,320 --> 00:47:37,920
That's my last name, by the way, Dom.

1565
00:47:37,920 --> 00:47:38,880
I know you always.

1566
00:47:38,880 --> 00:47:40,320
No, it's Payton, dude.

1567
00:47:40,320 --> 00:47:41,200
You call him Patton?

1568
00:47:41,200 --> 00:47:42,040
No, he fucking.

1569
00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:42,860
I call him Patton twice.

1570
00:47:42,860 --> 00:47:44,440
Mispronounces it all the time.

1571
00:47:44,440 --> 00:47:45,520
DJ Patton?

1572
00:47:45,520 --> 00:47:46,560
Patton.

1573
00:47:46,560 --> 00:47:48,160
I don't know why I think Patton.

1574
00:47:48,160 --> 00:47:49,680
Think Gary Payton.

1575
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:50,520
Yeah, Payton.

1576
00:47:50,520 --> 00:47:51,880
Walter Payton.

1577
00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:53,760
All the famous black athletes, dude.

1578
00:47:53,760 --> 00:47:54,600
And me.

1579
00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:57,000
I'm not there yet.

1580
00:47:58,560 --> 00:48:00,580
Give it a few years, dude.

1581
00:48:00,580 --> 00:48:03,160
When trans ethnicity becomes a thing,

1582
00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:05,280
Are you switching over, bro?

1583
00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:06,100
No, I do.

1584
00:48:06,100 --> 00:48:06,940
I'm holding it down.

1585
00:48:06,940 --> 00:48:07,760
I'm staying white.

1586
00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:08,600
Staying white?

1587
00:48:08,600 --> 00:48:10,480
Yeah, even if you could switch, I wouldn't switch.

1588
00:48:10,480 --> 00:48:12,920
I'm not a, I'll say it, I'll stay white, but.

1589
00:48:12,920 --> 00:48:13,840
Cause I can already dance.

1590
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:15,720
I'm not a loyal white.

1591
00:48:15,720 --> 00:48:16,560
You're not a loyal white.

1592
00:48:16,560 --> 00:48:17,400
I'm not a loyal white.

1593
00:48:17,400 --> 00:48:18,240
And he had a fucking hog on him.

1594
00:48:18,240 --> 00:48:19,060
Dude.

1595
00:48:19,060 --> 00:48:21,920
He's got a big fat fucking dick, too.

1596
00:48:21,920 --> 00:48:22,760
I know, I've seen it, dude.

1597
00:48:22,760 --> 00:48:25,520
I've heard the stories.

1598
00:48:25,520 --> 00:48:26,360
I heard about it.

1599
00:48:26,360 --> 00:48:27,200
Yeah.

1600
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:28,040
I heard about it.

1601
00:48:28,040 --> 00:48:30,200
Big, big Bryce, what we used to call him

1602
00:48:30,200 --> 00:48:31,040
when he first started.

1603
00:48:31,040 --> 00:48:33,320
We were just slaying through the over micers.

1604
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:35,760
Then he got in a fight.

1605
00:48:35,760 --> 00:48:37,400
Now he's the strongest.

1606
00:48:37,400 --> 00:48:39,280
He ascended above sex.

1607
00:48:39,280 --> 00:48:40,720
He's strong.

1608
00:48:40,720 --> 00:48:41,920
He ascended above sex.

1609
00:48:43,240 --> 00:48:45,880
If you're strong enough, you don't have to have sex.

1610
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:46,720
Yeah.

1611
00:48:47,800 --> 00:48:49,120
No, he's cool.

1612
00:48:49,120 --> 00:48:50,360
You get it, people get it.

1613
00:48:50,360 --> 00:48:51,200
Mm-hmm.

1614
00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:53,880
Now the girls are too scared.

1615
00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:54,720
Yeah.

1616
00:48:54,720 --> 00:48:55,560
Oh my gosh.

1617
00:48:55,560 --> 00:48:57,800
Joe Rogan has a really good joke about that.

1618
00:48:57,800 --> 00:48:59,800
Where he's like, I'm not scared of Brock Lesnar.

1619
00:48:59,800 --> 00:49:02,240
I'm scared that Brock Lesnar would use me as a condom

1620
00:49:02,240 --> 00:49:03,520
to fuck somebody way bigger.

1621
00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:04,360
Yeah.

1622
00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:05,200
Oh my God.

1623
00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:07,760
Jake was telling us about that last week.

1624
00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:10,120
What, that was like one of his first ones, right?

1625
00:49:10,120 --> 00:49:11,120
No, that couldn't have been.

1626
00:49:11,120 --> 00:49:13,680
I think you, I mean, I think Lesnar was already

1627
00:49:13,680 --> 00:49:14,880
in the UFC at that point.

1628
00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:16,440
Oh, okay, okay.

1629
00:49:16,440 --> 00:49:17,440
That is a big motherfucker.

1630
00:49:17,440 --> 00:49:18,280
Could you imagine?

1631
00:49:18,280 --> 00:49:19,120
Hell yeah, bro.

1632
00:49:19,120 --> 00:49:21,000
Imagine this dude just comes press you at the bar.

1633
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:22,720
Dude, he's so big in my store,

1634
00:49:22,720 --> 00:49:25,400
they sell barbecue sauce with his face on it.

1635
00:49:25,400 --> 00:49:27,240
That's how big he gotta be.

1636
00:49:27,240 --> 00:49:28,760
You turn and buy it, dude.

1637
00:49:28,760 --> 00:49:29,760
How dare you?

1638
00:49:29,760 --> 00:49:30,680
Make some wings with it.

1639
00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:31,520
Ooh.

1640
00:49:32,840 --> 00:49:34,600
Brock Lesnar, dude.

1641
00:49:34,600 --> 00:49:35,600
F5.

1642
00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:36,960
Yeah, F5.

1643
00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:38,520
It's a tornado.

1644
00:49:38,520 --> 00:49:40,760
Is it called the Beast barbecue sauce?

1645
00:49:40,760 --> 00:49:41,600
No.

1646
00:49:41,600 --> 00:49:42,440
Oh damn, dude.

1647
00:49:42,440 --> 00:49:44,480
I think it's just called Brock Lesnar.

1648
00:49:44,480 --> 00:49:48,120
Brock Lesnar's the only like type of white dude

1649
00:49:48,120 --> 00:49:49,760
that's scary, I feel like.

1650
00:49:49,760 --> 00:49:51,480
He was like genuinely terrifying.

1651
00:49:51,480 --> 00:49:53,040
Well in that way, big scary.

1652
00:49:53,040 --> 00:49:53,880
Yeah.

1653
00:49:53,880 --> 00:49:54,720
And aggressive.

1654
00:49:54,720 --> 00:49:56,440
I grew up in like New Market,

1655
00:49:56,440 --> 00:49:57,560
like in the trailer park area.

1656
00:49:57,560 --> 00:49:59,760
But there's some scary like skinny scrawny dudes

1657
00:49:59,760 --> 00:50:01,520
who just like, he might be like

1658
00:50:01,520 --> 00:50:03,040
in a crawl space in your house.

1659
00:50:03,040 --> 00:50:04,360
Those are addicts, dude.

1660
00:50:04,360 --> 00:50:05,560
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

1661
00:50:05,560 --> 00:50:06,600
That's scary too.

1662
00:50:06,600 --> 00:50:07,440
Hell yeah.

1663
00:50:07,440 --> 00:50:08,760
Those are the walking dead.

1664
00:50:08,760 --> 00:50:11,840
That's two kind of white scarys we got.

1665
00:50:13,320 --> 00:50:14,160
I believe it.

1666
00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:15,480
Oh my gosh, dude.

1667
00:50:15,480 --> 00:50:20,040
I used to work at a store over near New Hope.

1668
00:50:20,040 --> 00:50:21,520
But it was like right in the border

1669
00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:23,320
where people from Hampton Cove would come

1670
00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:24,880
and people from New Hope would come.

1671
00:50:24,880 --> 00:50:28,480
And it was just like the two different subsections

1672
00:50:28,480 --> 00:50:29,880
of white people in the South.

1673
00:50:29,880 --> 00:50:32,680
Just like the really rich, like Southern aristocracy

1674
00:50:32,680 --> 00:50:34,520
and the fucking peasants, dude.

1675
00:50:34,520 --> 00:50:35,360
The serfs.

1676
00:50:35,360 --> 00:50:36,180
Oh yeah.

1677
00:50:36,180 --> 00:50:37,960
They're breaking beer bottles in the parking lot.

1678
00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:39,440
There's Confederate flags.

1679
00:50:39,440 --> 00:50:40,400
Hell yeah.

1680
00:50:40,400 --> 00:50:42,480
Nobody has a shirt on, bro.

1681
00:50:42,480 --> 00:50:45,640
Zero shirts.

1682
00:50:45,640 --> 00:50:46,480
For sure.

1683
00:50:46,480 --> 00:50:47,600
Oh yeah, I grew up in Newmarket.

1684
00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:48,440
That's the same.

1685
00:50:48,440 --> 00:50:49,280
Yeah.

1686
00:50:49,280 --> 00:50:50,120
On that shit.

1687
00:50:50,120 --> 00:50:51,800
Because they had like the Riverton kids

1688
00:50:51,800 --> 00:50:54,920
and the Newmarket kids all formed at Buckhorn.

1689
00:50:54,920 --> 00:50:55,760
Oh, I gotcha.

1690
00:50:55,760 --> 00:50:56,580
So we like, we merged in.

1691
00:50:56,580 --> 00:50:57,540
But I was the Newmarket kid.

1692
00:50:57,540 --> 00:50:59,480
So we were like, we were the peasants.

1693
00:50:59,480 --> 00:51:00,320
Right?

1694
00:51:00,320 --> 00:51:01,160
Oh, okay.

1695
00:51:01,160 --> 00:51:03,040
So we like, I was always associated with those guys,

1696
00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:04,000
which is weird.

1697
00:51:04,000 --> 00:51:04,840
Yeah.

1698
00:51:04,840 --> 00:51:06,520
No, it's the same thing with Sparkman.

1699
00:51:06,520 --> 00:51:07,480
Yeah, yeah.

1700
00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:10,360
Sparkman middle kids and then the Monrovia middle kids.

1701
00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:11,360
And they're not the,

1702
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:13,240
they're like the shady ones, that's who they are.

1703
00:51:13,240 --> 00:51:14,960
No, that's who we were.

1704
00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:15,800
That's what I'm saying,

1705
00:51:15,800 --> 00:51:17,120
is the Sparkman kids like that?

1706
00:51:17,120 --> 00:51:18,080
Well, they were just like, yeah,

1707
00:51:18,080 --> 00:51:19,840
that's like the lower class.

1708
00:51:19,840 --> 00:51:20,680
Okay, okay.

1709
00:51:20,680 --> 00:51:21,520
Lower class, yeah.

1710
00:51:21,520 --> 00:51:23,240
Poor whites, I know poor whites well.

1711
00:51:23,240 --> 00:51:24,080
You do.

1712
00:51:24,080 --> 00:51:24,920
Those are the open micers.

1713
00:51:24,920 --> 00:51:26,360
Even if you're,

1714
00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:31,040
even if you're like, you know, you're well off now,

1715
00:51:31,040 --> 00:51:33,520
I can probably, I like to think I can tell

1716
00:51:33,520 --> 00:51:35,000
if you were poor white growing up.

1717
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:36,440
Well, we had shrimp outside.

1718
00:51:36,440 --> 00:51:37,440
I didn't use any of the sauce.

1719
00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:38,280
Yeah, you didn't use any of the sauce.

1720
00:51:38,280 --> 00:51:39,100
That is not a good indicator.

1721
00:51:39,100 --> 00:51:39,940
Oh, it's good.

1722
00:51:39,940 --> 00:51:40,780
Already on it.

1723
00:51:40,780 --> 00:51:41,880
I didn't even know about that.

1724
00:51:41,880 --> 00:51:43,360
I didn't know that was a thing.

1725
00:51:43,360 --> 00:51:44,680
You put shrimp with no cocktail.

1726
00:51:44,680 --> 00:51:45,520
He judged me so hard.

1727
00:51:45,520 --> 00:51:46,360
Shrimp cocktail, yeah.

1728
00:51:46,360 --> 00:51:47,760
From across the room.

1729
00:51:47,760 --> 00:51:48,600
Well, I was looking, I was like,

1730
00:51:48,600 --> 00:51:49,420
you see that's a good walker?

1731
00:51:49,420 --> 00:51:51,600
I don't think that's a class thing, though.

1732
00:51:51,600 --> 00:51:52,760
I think that's more of cultural.

1733
00:51:52,760 --> 00:51:53,920
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1734
00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:56,000
You seasoned your chicken with just salt and pepper, huh?

1735
00:51:56,000 --> 00:51:57,720
No, dude, I eat good food.

1736
00:51:57,720 --> 00:51:58,560
Do you?

1737
00:51:58,560 --> 00:51:59,380
All right, yeah.

1738
00:51:59,380 --> 00:52:01,400
Okay, well poor whites do, they can't cook.

1739
00:52:01,400 --> 00:52:03,080
Were you a poor white growing up?

1740
00:52:03,080 --> 00:52:03,920
Oh, no, we weren't poor,

1741
00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:05,160
I just grew up around the poor people.

1742
00:52:05,160 --> 00:52:06,000
Okay, okay.

1743
00:52:06,000 --> 00:52:06,820
But we weren't poor, but.

1744
00:52:06,820 --> 00:52:07,660
I didn't take you as a poor.

1745
00:52:07,660 --> 00:52:11,080
Yeah, but I grew up near it, I didn't know anything else.

1746
00:52:12,040 --> 00:52:14,640
We didn't have cool stuff, my parents were very frugal.

1747
00:52:14,640 --> 00:52:15,480
Okay, okay.

1748
00:52:15,480 --> 00:52:17,520
That makes sense, they didn't spend money on nothing.

1749
00:52:17,520 --> 00:52:19,280
No doctor, nothing.

1750
00:52:19,280 --> 00:52:20,120
Oh, damn, dude.

1751
00:52:20,120 --> 00:52:20,940
That's what my mom was.

1752
00:52:20,940 --> 00:52:22,120
Yeah, so it's like being poor.

1753
00:52:23,000 --> 00:52:25,000
Well, you have options, but you can never get them.

1754
00:52:25,000 --> 00:52:26,400
You're choosing to be poor, dude.

1755
00:52:26,400 --> 00:52:29,680
Yeah, yeah, they choose the poor lifestyle.

1756
00:52:29,680 --> 00:52:32,200
Hell yeah, there's something respectable about that.

1757
00:52:32,200 --> 00:52:33,040
I'm down with it.

1758
00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:34,840
It's probably not fun when you're a kid.

1759
00:52:34,840 --> 00:52:36,720
I didn't think anything of it, I didn't know any better.

1760
00:52:36,720 --> 00:52:37,560
True.

1761
00:52:38,640 --> 00:52:39,580
No, it was fine.

1762
00:52:40,520 --> 00:52:43,200
When I was a kid, I totally just applied my own life.

1763
00:52:43,200 --> 00:52:44,640
I was like, that's how everybody lives.

1764
00:52:44,640 --> 00:52:45,480
Exactly, yeah.

1765
00:52:45,480 --> 00:52:46,520
Nobody lives different than this.

1766
00:52:46,520 --> 00:52:48,080
You don't think anything of it, yeah.

1767
00:52:48,080 --> 00:52:49,920
Then I went over to a friend's house, I'm like,

1768
00:52:49,920 --> 00:52:53,040
what are you talking, you don't have a fridge full of soda?

1769
00:52:53,040 --> 00:52:54,760
You drank water?

1770
00:52:54,760 --> 00:52:57,080
I thought that was an option when I was a kid.

1771
00:52:57,080 --> 00:52:58,880
I didn't know you had to drink water.

1772
00:52:59,880 --> 00:53:04,400
I swear, from the ages of probably four to 12,

1773
00:53:04,400 --> 00:53:08,080
I probably drank six cans of Pepsi a day, I'm not kidding.

1774
00:53:08,080 --> 00:53:08,920
Jesus.

1775
00:53:08,920 --> 00:53:12,000
Yeah, that's why I'm so fucked up now, dude.

1776
00:53:12,000 --> 00:53:14,320
You do got that Mountain Dew face.

1777
00:53:14,320 --> 00:53:16,400
Don't, dude, that was my dad, bro.

1778
00:53:16,400 --> 00:53:17,800
Mountain Dew.

1779
00:53:17,800 --> 00:53:20,120
I was more of a Mountain Dew Code Red kind of thing.

1780
00:53:20,120 --> 00:53:20,960
That's that shit.

1781
00:53:20,960 --> 00:53:22,760
Mountain Dew Code Red's amazing.

1782
00:53:22,760 --> 00:53:26,280
It's just Red 40, it's just drinking Red 40 in sugar.

1783
00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:27,120
It's the part you're not supposed to drink.

1784
00:53:27,120 --> 00:53:29,780
It makes you an idiot, bro.

1785
00:53:29,780 --> 00:53:31,440
What's your God's favorite soda?

1786
00:53:31,440 --> 00:53:34,920
Diet Root Beer.

1787
00:53:34,920 --> 00:53:35,760
This right here.

1788
00:53:35,760 --> 00:53:36,600
Is the best one.

1789
00:53:36,600 --> 00:53:37,440
That one?

1790
00:53:37,440 --> 00:53:38,280
That's my favorite.

1791
00:53:38,280 --> 00:53:40,200
It's the Diet Cherry 7 Up, dude.

1792
00:53:40,200 --> 00:53:41,400
You got it ordered offline?

1793
00:53:41,400 --> 00:53:42,240
No, Walmart, dude.

1794
00:53:42,240 --> 00:53:43,080
No, dude.

1795
00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:44,760
This is in your local retailer.

1796
00:53:44,760 --> 00:53:45,600
Did you get this?

1797
00:53:45,600 --> 00:53:46,440
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

1798
00:53:46,440 --> 00:53:47,260
I didn't know it was this favorite.

1799
00:53:47,260 --> 00:53:48,960
I didn't know it was me too, I want one of this.

1800
00:53:48,960 --> 00:53:49,800
That's not my favorite.

1801
00:53:49,800 --> 00:53:51,360
Well, I only drink Diet Soda,

1802
00:53:51,360 --> 00:53:55,200
but my favorite non-Diet Soda is the Cherry Lemon Sundra

1803
00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:56,040
in the Red Cane.

1804
00:53:56,040 --> 00:53:56,880
Oh, I think that's good.

1805
00:53:56,880 --> 00:53:58,520
Bro, it's so fucking good.

1806
00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:00,800
I'm so passionate about this.

1807
00:54:00,800 --> 00:54:01,640
I love it, too.

1808
00:54:01,640 --> 00:54:03,440
I just drink it like regular shit, I guess.

1809
00:54:03,440 --> 00:54:04,280
I like Diet Root Beer.

1810
00:54:04,280 --> 00:54:05,120
You said Diet Root Beer, though, right?

1811
00:54:05,120 --> 00:54:05,960
What's Root Beer?

1812
00:54:05,960 --> 00:54:06,780
A&W.

1813
00:54:06,780 --> 00:54:07,620
A&W, for sure.

1814
00:54:07,620 --> 00:54:08,460
A&W, okay, okay.

1815
00:54:08,460 --> 00:54:09,760
Well, Diet Mountain Dew is super good

1816
00:54:09,760 --> 00:54:11,640
because it tastes just like Mountain Dew.

1817
00:54:11,640 --> 00:54:12,480
Just like it.

1818
00:54:12,480 --> 00:54:14,360
So that's a good alternative.

1819
00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:16,880
I drink Diet Root Beer, though.

1820
00:54:16,880 --> 00:54:19,880
I will say if you drink a Diet Sundrop

1821
00:54:22,140 --> 00:54:23,200
and you smoke a cigarette,

1822
00:54:23,200 --> 00:54:24,920
it tastes like a regular Sundrop.

1823
00:54:24,920 --> 00:54:27,100
So, you know.

1824
00:54:28,560 --> 00:54:30,520
Checks and balances.

1825
00:54:30,520 --> 00:54:32,920
Cost you a little more, but save you some cards.

1826
00:54:32,920 --> 00:54:34,360
It costs you more in a different way.

1827
00:54:34,360 --> 00:54:35,200
Yeah, yeah.

1828
00:54:35,200 --> 00:54:36,600
You gotta smoke cigarettes anyway.

1829
00:54:36,600 --> 00:54:37,440
Yeah.

1830
00:54:37,440 --> 00:54:38,260
Uh-huh.

1831
00:54:38,260 --> 00:54:39,360
Not sometimes.

1832
00:54:39,360 --> 00:54:40,840
So, did you ever buy cigarettes?

1833
00:54:40,840 --> 00:54:43,640
Yeah, like in college and stuff.

1834
00:54:43,640 --> 00:54:44,640
For real?

1835
00:54:44,640 --> 00:54:45,480
What'd you smoke?

1836
00:54:45,480 --> 00:54:46,300
Damn, dude.

1837
00:54:46,300 --> 00:54:47,140
I was smoking, bro.

1838
00:54:47,140 --> 00:54:48,320
What'd you smoke?

1839
00:54:48,320 --> 00:54:49,880
Marlboro NXTs.

1840
00:54:49,880 --> 00:54:50,720
The fuck is that?

1841
00:54:50,720 --> 00:54:51,880
That was the NXT boy.

1842
00:54:51,880 --> 00:54:53,880
They're just like the ones you pop.

1843
00:54:53,880 --> 00:54:55,760
Oh, like Camel Crush?

1844
00:54:55,760 --> 00:54:56,600
Yeah, yeah.

1845
00:54:56,600 --> 00:54:57,440
The Marlboro.

1846
00:54:57,440 --> 00:54:58,260
It was the Marlboro version of that.

1847
00:54:58,260 --> 00:55:00,160
Oh, okay, okay, okay.

1848
00:55:00,160 --> 00:55:01,000
New York.

1849
00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:02,000
They were great.

1850
00:55:02,000 --> 00:55:03,200
People, cause people will, you know,

1851
00:55:03,200 --> 00:55:04,600
people always like, oh, you got menthol,

1852
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:05,680
oh, you got regular.

1853
00:55:05,680 --> 00:55:07,080
I got both.

1854
00:55:07,080 --> 00:55:08,640
Now, it's weird that I was thinking of other people

1855
00:55:08,640 --> 00:55:09,480
while I was buying my cigarettes.

1856
00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:10,300
Right?

1857
00:55:10,300 --> 00:55:11,140
But.

1858
00:55:11,140 --> 00:55:11,980
Cause everybody's the one.

1859
00:55:11,980 --> 00:55:12,800
This is the kind of guy that I am.

1860
00:55:12,800 --> 00:55:13,640
You're a communal guy, dude.

1861
00:55:13,640 --> 00:55:14,480
Yeah.

1862
00:55:14,480 --> 00:55:15,920
You gotta share the herbs with the tribe.

1863
00:55:15,920 --> 00:55:17,120
Mm-hmm.

1864
00:55:17,120 --> 00:55:18,200
I'm a tribe leader, bro.

1865
00:55:18,200 --> 00:55:19,880
That's what happens.

1866
00:55:19,880 --> 00:55:20,960
You gotta come back with the goods.

1867
00:55:20,960 --> 00:55:22,200
Fucking alpha male over here.

1868
00:55:22,200 --> 00:55:23,040
Yeah, yeah.

1869
00:55:23,040 --> 00:55:24,080
But I was also in a fraternity,

1870
00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:26,400
so I was definitely gonna share these cigarettes.

1871
00:55:26,400 --> 00:55:27,240
Yeah, Pike.

1872
00:55:27,240 --> 00:55:28,060
Pike, Pike.

1873
00:55:28,060 --> 00:55:28,900
Yeah, I'm a Pike, yeah.

1874
00:55:28,900 --> 00:55:31,360
I didn't know, how was frat life?

1875
00:55:31,360 --> 00:55:34,360
I really didn't pin you as a frat guy beforehand.

1876
00:55:34,360 --> 00:55:35,680
Well, that's a good thing.

1877
00:55:35,680 --> 00:55:37,520
Yeah, no, that is a good thing.

1878
00:55:37,520 --> 00:55:39,160
There's some cool frat guys out there.

1879
00:55:39,160 --> 00:55:41,640
Also, it's a D2 school, so it's not like.

1880
00:55:41,640 --> 00:55:44,440
UNA is, I think it's D1 now, is it not?

1881
00:55:44,440 --> 00:55:45,280
Now it's D1.

1882
00:55:45,280 --> 00:55:47,240
It was D2 when I was there, and it's still very, like,

1883
00:55:47,240 --> 00:55:48,080
it's not like.

1884
00:55:48,080 --> 00:55:49,120
It's on the borderline, dude.

1885
00:55:49,120 --> 00:55:51,440
You're not getting like the super rich people in there.

1886
00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:52,280
Like, everybody has jobs.

1887
00:55:52,280 --> 00:55:55,400
Young Gravy had a concert there last year.

1888
00:55:55,400 --> 00:55:56,240
Young Gravy.

1889
00:55:56,240 --> 00:55:57,060
Does that count for anything?

1890
00:55:57,060 --> 00:55:58,480
People always think I'm Young Gravy, dude.

1891
00:55:58,480 --> 00:55:59,320
I don't even know.

1892
00:55:59,320 --> 00:56:00,160
Hey, pull up Young Gravy.

1893
00:56:00,160 --> 00:56:00,980
Yeah, dude.

1894
00:56:00,980 --> 00:56:04,720
I don't look like him, but people,

1895
00:56:04,720 --> 00:56:06,720
like, I have people all the time every week.

1896
00:56:06,720 --> 00:56:09,240
I used to get Jack Harlow a lot.

1897
00:56:09,240 --> 00:56:11,580
Now it's more Lil Dicky and Young Gravy.

1898
00:56:11,580 --> 00:56:12,420
Really?

1899
00:56:12,420 --> 00:56:13,560
Yeah, some Post Malone.

1900
00:56:13,560 --> 00:56:14,400
Who's telling you to?

1901
00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:15,900
Ah, I might be able to see Post Malone.

1902
00:56:15,900 --> 00:56:16,920
This dude, bro.

1903
00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:18,300
Oh, okay.

1904
00:56:18,300 --> 00:56:20,240
Back before I cut my hair.

1905
00:56:20,240 --> 00:56:22,480
We'll put a picture of him down here.

1906
00:56:22,480 --> 00:56:23,320
We'll let you guys decide.

1907
00:56:23,320 --> 00:56:24,760
No, they know, you're just old, Dom.

1908
00:56:24,760 --> 00:56:26,080
They know who Young Gravy is.

1909
00:56:26,080 --> 00:56:27,720
Did you know, Bryce?

1910
00:56:27,720 --> 00:56:29,040
I've heard of Young Gravy before.

1911
00:56:29,040 --> 00:56:31,480
He's an alumni of UNA, dude.

1912
00:56:31,480 --> 00:56:32,320
Is he?

1913
00:56:32,320 --> 00:56:33,140
Yeah.

1914
00:56:33,140 --> 00:56:33,980
For real, I didn't know that.

1915
00:56:33,980 --> 00:56:34,800
No, you are.

1916
00:56:34,800 --> 00:56:35,640
He performed there.

1917
00:56:35,640 --> 00:56:36,480
Oh, I thought you meant he was.

1918
00:56:36,480 --> 00:56:37,300
Oh, I gotcha.

1919
00:56:37,300 --> 00:56:38,140
He might, I don't know.

1920
00:56:38,140 --> 00:56:39,200
I don't know his life like that.

1921
00:56:39,200 --> 00:56:40,600
You don't look like him, though.

1922
00:56:40,600 --> 00:56:41,440
I don't think I do either.

1923
00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:42,580
See, I don't see that one either.

1924
00:56:42,580 --> 00:56:45,680
But that's more believable than that Francis Ngannou,

1925
00:56:45,680 --> 00:56:47,520
Eastern European taxi driver.

1926
00:56:47,520 --> 00:56:48,360
Taxi driver.

1927
00:56:48,360 --> 00:56:49,880
Spread it, it says wild shit.

1928
00:56:52,020 --> 00:56:54,720
Check out episode two if you wanna see that reference.

1929
00:56:54,720 --> 00:56:58,480
Hey, promo, promo.

1930
00:56:58,480 --> 00:57:00,080
Hey, we're at the shop, man.

1931
00:57:00,080 --> 00:57:01,360
We always do open mics there.

1932
00:57:01,360 --> 00:57:03,280
Silver dollar comedy.

1933
00:57:03,280 --> 00:57:06,360
Oh, I'm guest hosting Silver Dollar Comedy Night,

1934
00:57:06,360 --> 00:57:07,600
December 21st.

1935
00:57:07,600 --> 00:57:10,400
Do a 10 minute set before you end.

1936
00:57:10,400 --> 00:57:11,240
It could go either way.

1937
00:57:11,240 --> 00:57:12,400
10 minutes?

1938
00:57:12,400 --> 00:57:14,240
You might not see me around anymore.

1939
00:57:16,160 --> 00:57:17,160
No, I'm just kidding.

1940
00:57:17,160 --> 00:57:18,920
Bryce, I've seen you do some 10 minutes.

1941
00:57:18,920 --> 00:57:20,100
How you like them?

1942
00:57:20,100 --> 00:57:21,080
What, 10 minute sets?

1943
00:57:21,080 --> 00:57:21,920
Yeah, 10 minute sets.

1944
00:57:21,920 --> 00:57:22,740
They're fine.

1945
00:57:22,740 --> 00:57:25,040
I'm up to, I can comfortably do 15.

1946
00:57:25,040 --> 00:57:25,880
Really?

1947
00:57:25,880 --> 00:57:26,720
Yeah, really.

1948
00:57:26,720 --> 00:57:27,560
Damn, that's good, man.

1949
00:57:27,560 --> 00:57:29,200
I've seen you do 10 minutes, dude,

1950
00:57:29,200 --> 00:57:31,200
at a Don't Tell with the Canobar.

1951
00:57:31,200 --> 00:57:32,040
Yeah, that was a fun show.

1952
00:57:32,040 --> 00:57:32,880
That was a good one, dude.

1953
00:57:32,880 --> 00:57:33,700
That was a good one.

1954
00:57:33,700 --> 00:57:34,880
That was a wild show.

1955
00:57:34,880 --> 00:57:37,560
Well, there was one really funny moment

1956
00:57:37,560 --> 00:57:39,480
that I'll always remember from that show.

1957
00:57:39,480 --> 00:57:40,320
What happened?

1958
00:57:40,320 --> 00:57:42,120
Because you went out first, didn't you?

1959
00:57:42,120 --> 00:57:43,880
Yeah, after the host, yeah.

1960
00:57:43,880 --> 00:57:48,720
And Bryce, he was saying some porn joke.

1961
00:57:48,720 --> 00:57:51,360
And you asked the audience if anybody

1962
00:57:51,360 --> 00:57:52,360
had a favorite porn star.

1963
00:57:52,360 --> 00:57:53,640
No, Jonathan did.

1964
00:57:53,640 --> 00:57:55,160
Oh, Jon, oh, Jon.

1965
00:57:55,160 --> 00:57:56,000
Yeah.

1966
00:57:56,000 --> 00:57:57,680
You did talk about porn in your set.

1967
00:57:57,680 --> 00:57:58,520
Of course.

1968
00:57:58,520 --> 00:57:59,360
I need it.

1969
00:57:59,360 --> 00:58:00,200
Always.

1970
00:58:00,200 --> 00:58:01,040
10 minutes, dude, I'm talking about porn.

1971
00:58:01,040 --> 00:58:02,840
Are you serious?

1972
00:58:02,840 --> 00:58:03,680
Of course.

1973
00:58:03,680 --> 00:58:06,800
But yeah, Jonathan asked, and this girl yells out

1974
00:58:06,800 --> 00:58:09,520
from the crowd, Owen Gray, who I've heard

1975
00:58:09,520 --> 00:58:10,840
his name several times.

1976
00:58:10,840 --> 00:58:12,440
I think he's a porn star.

1977
00:58:12,440 --> 00:58:13,280
Thank you.

1978
00:58:13,280 --> 00:58:14,120
Do you know Owen Gray?

1979
00:58:14,120 --> 00:58:14,940
I think he's a master of the craft.

1980
00:58:14,940 --> 00:58:16,920
Before we continue, do you know who Owen Gray is?

1981
00:58:16,920 --> 00:58:18,240
Pull up a picture of Owen Gray.

1982
00:58:18,240 --> 00:58:20,720
I'm gonna pull him up.

1983
00:58:20,720 --> 00:58:25,000
But a girl yelled it out for the incognito mode.

1984
00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:25,840
Huh?

1985
00:58:25,840 --> 00:58:28,480
You can't have a sign.

1986
00:58:28,480 --> 00:58:29,480
No, I can't play it.

1987
00:58:29,480 --> 00:58:31,920
Gray.

1988
00:58:31,920 --> 00:58:32,960
Right there, first one.

1989
00:58:32,960 --> 00:58:34,280
No, it's Gravy, bro.

1990
00:58:34,280 --> 00:58:36,520
But not someone Gravy, that's a way worse guy.

1991
00:58:38,440 --> 00:58:39,760
Yeah, this little skinny white dude.

1992
00:58:39,760 --> 00:58:40,800
Oh, no.

1993
00:58:40,800 --> 00:58:41,640
With the tattoos.

1994
00:58:41,640 --> 00:58:42,600
I was thinking he was the bald one.

1995
00:58:42,600 --> 00:58:44,840
Click on the one with the tattoos, Brandon.

1996
00:58:44,840 --> 00:58:45,960
He's kinda weird looking.

1997
00:58:45,960 --> 00:58:46,800
Yeah, that one.

1998
00:58:46,800 --> 00:58:47,640
Let's do that.

1999
00:58:47,640 --> 00:58:48,460
Wait, that's not him.

2000
00:58:48,460 --> 00:58:49,300
I don't know.

2001
00:58:49,300 --> 00:58:50,480
Hold on, they look very funny.

2002
00:58:50,480 --> 00:58:51,920
Is it him?

2003
00:58:51,920 --> 00:58:52,760
Is that him?

2004
00:58:52,760 --> 00:58:53,960
That's not who I was thinking of.

2005
00:58:53,960 --> 00:58:55,640
Yeah, I was also thinking of somebody.

2006
00:58:55,640 --> 00:58:56,600
The bald dude?

2007
00:58:56,600 --> 00:58:57,800
No, that's Johnny Sims.

2008
00:58:57,800 --> 00:58:59,040
Johnny Sims, that's the one.

2009
00:58:59,040 --> 00:59:00,800
He's known for his leg tattoos.

2010
00:59:01,680 --> 00:59:02,520
Yeah.

2011
00:59:04,360 --> 00:59:06,440
We're way too into this.

2012
00:59:06,440 --> 00:59:07,280
Oh yeah, that one.

2013
00:59:07,280 --> 00:59:08,120
He's blacked out.

2014
00:59:08,120 --> 00:59:09,080
All right, type in dick.

2015
00:59:09,080 --> 00:59:13,920
Come on.

2016
00:59:13,920 --> 00:59:16,840
Can you type like stroke, stroke, come on.

2017
00:59:16,840 --> 00:59:17,680
No, it's good.

2018
00:59:17,680 --> 00:59:18,500
No, no, no, no.

2019
00:59:18,500 --> 00:59:20,320
But yeah, that's what everybody knows and for is.

2020
00:59:20,320 --> 00:59:21,400
That crazy ass tattoo.

2021
00:59:21,400 --> 00:59:22,240
That's how.

2022
00:59:22,240 --> 00:59:24,600
Anyways, so Jonathan asked out,

2023
00:59:24,600 --> 00:59:26,520
hey, somebody named their favorite porn star.

2024
00:59:26,520 --> 00:59:30,320
Nobody responds but my fucking sister who's in the audience.

2025
00:59:30,320 --> 00:59:31,800
She goes, Owen Gray, I love you.

2026
00:59:31,800 --> 00:59:33,440
I didn't know it was his sister.

2027
00:59:34,400 --> 00:59:37,840
Jonathan was like, does anybody have a favorite porn star?

2028
00:59:37,840 --> 00:59:40,840
And this girl was like, Owen Gray.

2029
00:59:40,840 --> 00:59:43,320
And then Bryce was like, that's my sister.

2030
00:59:43,320 --> 00:59:46,000
Or did you go on stage and say that's my sister?

2031
00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:47,440
Yeah, I think I whispered it to somebody.

2032
00:59:47,440 --> 00:59:48,440
It might have been you.

2033
00:59:48,440 --> 00:59:49,280
Dude, that was my sister.

2034
00:59:49,280 --> 00:59:50,120
It was me, dude.

2035
00:59:50,120 --> 00:59:51,440
That's why, you're right, dude.

2036
00:59:51,440 --> 00:59:52,400
Yeah, I whispered to him.

2037
00:59:52,400 --> 00:59:53,880
I was like, dude, that was my fucking sister.

2038
00:59:53,880 --> 00:59:55,040
He was like, what?

2039
00:59:55,040 --> 00:59:56,640
She knows he's here.

2040
00:59:57,640 --> 00:59:58,480
That's crazy.

2041
00:59:58,480 --> 01:00:00,440
We are from Alabama.

2042
01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:01,280
Not accusing y'all.

2043
01:00:01,280 --> 01:00:03,200
Dude, that's how everybody in my family is though.

2044
01:00:03,200 --> 01:00:04,040
Yeah.

2045
01:00:04,040 --> 01:00:04,860
Oh yeah.

2046
01:00:04,860 --> 01:00:05,700
They just don't give a fuck.

2047
01:00:05,700 --> 01:00:07,640
Saying the wrong thing at the wrong fucking time.

2048
01:00:07,640 --> 01:00:08,480
You love those people.

2049
01:00:08,480 --> 01:00:09,800
Oh yeah.

2050
01:00:09,800 --> 01:00:10,860
I do it too, man.

2051
01:00:12,080 --> 01:00:13,440
You got to, man.

2052
01:00:13,440 --> 01:00:14,680
Otherwise, it's just weird.

2053
01:00:14,680 --> 01:00:16,000
Yeah, it's just no fun.

2054
01:00:16,880 --> 01:00:17,720
I don't know.

2055
01:00:17,720 --> 01:00:18,540
Just fucking let it out.

2056
01:00:18,540 --> 01:00:19,380
Be awkward.

2057
01:00:19,380 --> 01:00:20,400
Make other people awkward.

2058
01:00:20,400 --> 01:00:21,240
That's my thing.

2059
01:00:21,240 --> 01:00:22,080
Is that what you do?

2060
01:00:22,080 --> 01:00:23,320
Oh my God, love it.

2061
01:00:23,320 --> 01:00:24,600
So you're the worst, dude.

2062
01:00:24,600 --> 01:00:25,500
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

2063
01:00:25,500 --> 01:00:27,520
You're the worst to be around when you're high.

2064
01:00:27,520 --> 01:00:28,360
Oh yeah, yeah.

2065
01:00:28,360 --> 01:00:29,840
Cause you're like, oh no.

2066
01:00:31,600 --> 01:00:33,600
I'll find out what you don't like and then.

2067
01:00:33,600 --> 01:00:35,640
Oh, go for that specifically?

2068
01:00:35,640 --> 01:00:36,480
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

2069
01:00:36,480 --> 01:00:37,320
Not nothing hard.

2070
01:00:37,320 --> 01:00:38,140
You know what I'm saying?

2071
01:00:38,140 --> 01:00:38,980
That's what I was worried about with this interview.

2072
01:00:38,980 --> 01:00:40,520
I was like, well dang, they're gonna

2073
01:00:40,520 --> 01:00:41,760
say things I don't want to hear.

2074
01:00:41,760 --> 01:00:43,600
But no, it's been fun so far.

2075
01:00:43,600 --> 01:00:44,440
No, dude.

2076
01:00:44,440 --> 01:00:45,720
We're user friendly.

2077
01:00:45,720 --> 01:00:47,280
I do want to say though,

2078
01:00:47,280 --> 01:00:48,800
somebody wrote on the notes,

2079
01:00:48,800 --> 01:00:50,080
and it wasn't me.

2080
01:00:50,080 --> 01:00:51,480
You look like you say,

2081
01:00:51,480 --> 01:00:54,120
I'm gonna go bananas when you get mad.

2082
01:00:54,120 --> 01:00:58,760
But you see how Dom wrote it on here.

2083
01:00:58,760 --> 01:00:59,600
That's not me.

2084
01:00:59,600 --> 01:01:01,680
He put the whole entire thing in quotation marks.

2085
01:01:01,680 --> 01:01:04,240
Not just the, I'm gonna go bananas part.

2086
01:01:05,360 --> 01:01:07,880
When you get mad, I say that out loud too.

2087
01:01:07,880 --> 01:01:08,720
Idiot.

2088
01:01:08,720 --> 01:01:09,560
That wasn't me.

2089
01:01:09,560 --> 01:01:10,760
I didn't write that one.

2090
01:01:12,400 --> 01:01:13,520
It wasn't me, dude.

2091
01:01:13,520 --> 01:01:14,360
It wasn't you, was it?

2092
01:01:14,360 --> 01:01:15,440
Yeah, it was.

2093
01:01:15,440 --> 01:01:16,840
Damn.

2094
01:01:16,840 --> 01:01:19,080
I wrote some on mine just in pen

2095
01:01:19,080 --> 01:01:21,280
that I wanted to remember to bring up.

2096
01:01:21,280 --> 01:01:24,440
I know me and Dom are part of Clown College Comedy.

2097
01:01:24,440 --> 01:01:28,120
Me and Bryce are actually part of another comedy group,

2098
01:01:28,120 --> 01:01:30,820
me, Bryce, and Syfy called the Pooh Boys.

2099
01:01:32,080 --> 01:01:33,480
Would you like to elaborate on that?

2100
01:01:33,480 --> 01:01:34,320
No, you elaborate.

2101
01:01:35,280 --> 01:01:39,200
Well basically, we smoked a joint outside of Shenanigans

2102
01:01:39,200 --> 01:01:40,160
before the shit show,

2103
01:01:40,160 --> 01:01:41,280
and I've never been to one.

2104
01:01:41,280 --> 01:01:42,160
I didn't know how it worked.

2105
01:01:42,160 --> 01:01:45,360
You go around and you hand people little foam shits

2106
01:01:45,360 --> 01:01:48,920
to throw at their least favorite comedian in that round.

2107
01:01:48,920 --> 01:01:52,240
And Syfy volunteered to work the show.

2108
01:01:52,240 --> 01:01:53,080
I didn't know that.

2109
01:01:53,080 --> 01:01:54,480
Me and Bryce didn't know that.

2110
01:01:54,480 --> 01:01:56,120
And then he incorporated us

2111
01:01:56,120 --> 01:01:58,360
to help him pass out the shit.

2112
01:01:58,360 --> 01:02:01,120
But I was tweakin', bro.

2113
01:02:01,120 --> 01:02:01,960
I could not do it.

2114
01:02:01,960 --> 01:02:02,800
Yeah, I was stoned.

2115
01:02:02,800 --> 01:02:03,620
I was so high.

2116
01:02:03,620 --> 01:02:04,460
You guys were.

2117
01:02:04,460 --> 01:02:05,300
I just ended up, by the end of it,

2118
01:02:05,300 --> 01:02:06,640
I was just standing in the lobby.

2119
01:02:06,640 --> 01:02:08,360
I wasn't even in the same room.

2120
01:02:08,360 --> 01:02:09,760
He deteriorated throughout the night.

2121
01:02:09,760 --> 01:02:11,440
He went from holding a bucket

2122
01:02:11,440 --> 01:02:13,480
to me giving him something from my bucket

2123
01:02:13,480 --> 01:02:15,960
to him just not being there anymore.

2124
01:02:15,960 --> 01:02:17,600
I had to remove myself from the situation.

2125
01:02:17,600 --> 01:02:19,120
Just slowly but surely was not a part

2126
01:02:19,120 --> 01:02:20,760
of the Pooh Boys anymore.

2127
01:02:20,760 --> 01:02:22,800
Well, I also tried to hand out the shit

2128
01:02:22,800 --> 01:02:24,400
to the people who were on the show

2129
01:02:24,400 --> 01:02:26,960
because I didn't watch their shit.

2130
01:02:26,960 --> 01:02:27,800
Oh yeah.

2131
01:02:27,800 --> 01:02:29,600
And they were like, I'm on the show.

2132
01:02:29,600 --> 01:02:32,320
And I was like, dude, I didn't know.

2133
01:02:32,320 --> 01:02:33,480
You're in the green room.

2134
01:02:33,480 --> 01:02:34,680
Yeah, why are you back here?

2135
01:02:34,680 --> 01:02:36,240
Yes.

2136
01:02:36,240 --> 01:02:37,240
Oh yeah, Syfy was like,

2137
01:02:37,240 --> 01:02:38,600
have you been in the green room before?

2138
01:02:38,600 --> 01:02:39,560
And we were walking back there,

2139
01:02:39,560 --> 01:02:40,560
and I was like, no, not yet.

2140
01:02:40,560 --> 01:02:42,600
And he's like, it's how you stop?

2141
01:02:42,600 --> 01:02:44,000
And he's like, no, dude.

2142
01:02:44,000 --> 01:02:46,280
Understandable, you gotta earn it.

2143
01:02:46,280 --> 01:02:48,120
You'll be on there soon.

2144
01:02:48,120 --> 01:02:51,080
You two, both of you dudes, bro.

2145
01:02:51,080 --> 01:02:52,600
He's on it tonight.

2146
01:02:52,600 --> 01:02:54,160
And you've done a show with Shenanigans.

2147
01:02:54,160 --> 01:02:55,000
Is that where it was at?

2148
01:02:55,000 --> 01:02:56,440
Yeah, yeah, it's on against an eight.

2149
01:02:56,440 --> 01:02:58,320
So you're already in there, dude.

2150
01:02:58,320 --> 01:02:59,160
He'll be on there.

2151
01:02:59,160 --> 01:03:01,080
I mean, you know JJ's fucking funny.

2152
01:03:01,080 --> 01:03:02,240
His rioting is.

2153
01:03:02,240 --> 01:03:03,480
Yeah, he's so funny.

2154
01:03:03,480 --> 01:03:05,080
JJ's such a funny, handsome man.

2155
01:03:05,080 --> 01:03:06,080
This is the worst, dude.

2156
01:03:06,080 --> 01:03:06,920
It's the worst.

2157
01:03:06,920 --> 01:03:07,760
Look at him.

2158
01:03:07,760 --> 01:03:08,600
Yeah, I fucking hate him, dude.

2159
01:03:08,600 --> 01:03:09,760
It's the worst.

2160
01:03:09,760 --> 01:03:11,520
Nobody wants to sit there while I'm like,

2161
01:03:11,520 --> 01:03:12,680
oh man, you're the greatest.

2162
01:03:12,680 --> 01:03:16,040
And you're like, no, obviously not.

2163
01:03:16,040 --> 01:03:17,120
No, he's awesome.

2164
01:03:17,120 --> 01:03:19,000
Oh, you're good, man.

2165
01:03:19,000 --> 01:03:20,560
Look, Brandon, tell him he's good.

2166
01:03:20,560 --> 01:03:22,960
Brandon, shut the fuck up, Brandon.

2167
01:03:22,960 --> 01:03:23,960
You're fucking good.

2168
01:03:23,960 --> 01:03:24,960
You're fucking good.

2169
01:03:24,960 --> 01:03:25,960
You're fucking good.

2170
01:03:25,960 --> 01:03:26,960
Did you laugh at me?

2171
01:03:26,960 --> 01:03:27,960
Oh, man.

2172
01:03:27,960 --> 01:03:28,960
Did I?

2173
01:03:28,960 --> 01:03:29,960
Yeah, you guys are all good, dude.

2174
01:03:29,960 --> 01:03:30,960
Laughing his ass off, dude.

2175
01:03:30,960 --> 01:03:33,880
You guys are all real fucking good.

2176
01:03:33,880 --> 01:03:35,800
We're in the same room, aren't we, dude?

2177
01:03:38,320 --> 01:03:41,200
Same microphone, same podcast,

2178
01:03:41,200 --> 01:03:43,360
same 130 views, dude.

2179
01:03:43,360 --> 01:03:45,000
Hey, I'm down with it.

2180
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:46,480
That was more than I thought it was gonna be.

2181
01:03:46,480 --> 01:03:47,320
130?

2182
01:03:47,320 --> 01:03:50,280
Dude, I thought we were gonna be banging at like 10.

2183
01:03:50,280 --> 01:03:52,160
And I thought it was gonna drop off, you know what I mean?

2184
01:03:52,160 --> 01:03:54,120
Like, 10 people were gonna watch it the first time,

2185
01:03:54,120 --> 01:03:55,080
it was like, all right.

2186
01:03:55,080 --> 01:03:57,680
And then after that, it's gonna be like three, one,

2187
01:03:57,680 --> 01:03:58,520
and we're just putting it off.

2188
01:03:58,520 --> 01:03:59,720
Yeah, you're at 130 already, dude.

2189
01:03:59,720 --> 01:04:00,560
Fuck yeah.

2190
01:04:00,560 --> 01:04:02,320
Man, dude, people up.

2191
01:04:02,320 --> 01:04:04,280
And I haven't listened to any of them.

2192
01:04:04,280 --> 01:04:05,320
I think that's a good thing.

2193
01:04:05,320 --> 01:04:06,920
Are you gonna listen to this episode?

2194
01:04:06,920 --> 01:04:07,760
No.

2195
01:04:07,760 --> 01:04:09,360
Are you gonna be watching this moment right now?

2196
01:04:09,360 --> 01:04:10,200
Yeah.

2197
01:04:10,200 --> 01:04:11,960
You got to, man.

2198
01:04:11,960 --> 01:04:12,800
Don't worry about it.

2199
01:04:12,800 --> 01:04:13,640
Do you guys like watching yourselves?

2200
01:04:13,640 --> 01:04:15,080
This is gonna get clipped when somebody comes in.

2201
01:04:15,080 --> 01:04:16,840
No, I have to edit it, so I have to watch it.

2202
01:04:16,840 --> 01:04:18,280
And I sound retarded, dude.

2203
01:04:18,280 --> 01:04:20,160
I sound so slow.

2204
01:04:20,160 --> 01:04:22,960
Like, I'm watching it and I'm like, man, dude,

2205
01:04:22,960 --> 01:04:24,640
can you get any words right?

2206
01:04:24,640 --> 01:04:27,280
Like, it'd be like the easiest shit, easiest word.

2207
01:04:27,280 --> 01:04:28,920
I'm like, you couldn't figure that one out, buddy.

2208
01:04:28,920 --> 01:04:29,760
Can I just speed up my words?

2209
01:04:29,760 --> 01:04:31,640
You can get a counter, like a tally mark

2210
01:04:31,640 --> 01:04:34,920
for how many times you say retarded on the podcast.

2211
01:04:35,920 --> 01:04:37,840
I know, I think you said it every episode.

2212
01:04:37,840 --> 01:04:40,080
No, I'm on, but I'm, first of all.

2213
01:04:40,080 --> 01:04:42,560
Brandon, write that down, dude.

2214
01:04:42,560 --> 01:04:43,400
Time stamp that.

2215
01:04:44,440 --> 01:04:45,600
Yeah, but I'm calling myself,

2216
01:04:45,600 --> 01:04:47,320
because I do have a tardation.

2217
01:04:47,320 --> 01:04:48,400
I can, it's something about-

2218
01:04:48,400 --> 01:04:49,480
What is it?

2219
01:04:49,480 --> 01:04:51,480
Look, I don't know exactly what it is,

2220
01:04:51,480 --> 01:04:55,120
but I'm telling you, I can't say words right.

2221
01:04:55,120 --> 01:04:56,840
I have to practice them.

2222
01:04:56,840 --> 01:04:58,840
Like, if I have one for my set,

2223
01:04:58,840 --> 01:05:00,320
I have to practice like words,

2224
01:05:00,320 --> 01:05:01,880
because I like to say big words

2225
01:05:01,880 --> 01:05:03,200
because I think it coming from me,

2226
01:05:03,200 --> 01:05:05,080
it sounds funny because I'm slow.

2227
01:05:05,080 --> 01:05:05,920
You know what I'm saying?

2228
01:05:05,920 --> 01:05:07,800
I don't think people see you as slow, though.

2229
01:05:07,800 --> 01:05:09,360
When I'm up there?

2230
01:05:09,360 --> 01:05:10,600
Well, right now I do.

2231
01:05:10,600 --> 01:05:11,440
It's alcohol.

2232
01:05:11,440 --> 01:05:13,480
When you said that, now I see it, actually.

2233
01:05:13,480 --> 01:05:15,200
I take it all back, now I see it.

2234
01:05:16,440 --> 01:05:17,800
He's like, when I'm up stage?

2235
01:05:17,800 --> 01:05:20,280
Yeah, that's what we're talking about, big guy.

2236
01:05:20,280 --> 01:05:21,120
That's the whole point of this.

2237
01:05:21,120 --> 01:05:21,960
That's exactly what you said.

2238
01:05:21,960 --> 01:05:22,880
Did you forget?

2239
01:05:22,880 --> 01:05:23,720
How did you not know?

2240
01:05:23,720 --> 01:05:25,640
We made the map right here for you.

2241
01:05:25,640 --> 01:05:26,480
Yeah, good thing.

2242
01:05:26,480 --> 01:05:27,800
To remember, Dom's like,

2243
01:05:27,800 --> 01:05:30,560
these are the three places I have to go today.

2244
01:05:30,560 --> 01:05:31,840
On stage?

2245
01:05:31,840 --> 01:05:32,680
Or this week?

2246
01:05:32,680 --> 01:05:34,280
Or do I just go in the building?

2247
01:05:36,520 --> 01:05:38,280
You're gonna tell me when it's my turn?

2248
01:05:38,280 --> 01:05:39,560
I swear that's how I was,

2249
01:05:39,560 --> 01:05:41,800
I was like, you're going in this order, right?

2250
01:05:41,800 --> 01:05:43,840
How long do we have to talk for?

2251
01:05:43,840 --> 01:05:44,680
It's the worst.

2252
01:05:44,680 --> 01:05:45,520
Oh, I was miserable.

2253
01:05:45,520 --> 01:05:46,920
I feel like you guys were so much more comfortable.

2254
01:05:46,920 --> 01:05:48,080
Hell no, I hated you.

2255
01:05:48,080 --> 01:05:48,920
You for sure are.

2256
01:05:48,920 --> 01:05:50,160
I still hate it.

2257
01:05:50,160 --> 01:05:52,320
I still fucking hate getting on stage.

2258
01:05:52,320 --> 01:05:54,680
When you tell your jokes, it sounds like on stage,

2259
01:05:54,680 --> 01:05:56,680
it just sounds just like when you're telling them to us

2260
01:05:56,680 --> 01:05:58,000
when we're talking and shit.

2261
01:05:58,000 --> 01:05:58,840
Yeah, you sound comfortable.

2262
01:05:58,840 --> 01:06:00,400
But I'm telling you, dude, I fucking hate it.

2263
01:06:00,400 --> 01:06:02,160
If I know I have an open mic that day,

2264
01:06:02,160 --> 01:06:03,800
I'm not happy the whole day, dude.

2265
01:06:03,800 --> 01:06:05,120
Oh, same. Until after it's over.

2266
01:06:05,120 --> 01:06:05,960
That's probably why.

2267
01:06:05,960 --> 01:06:06,800
I'm like, gosh, dude.

2268
01:06:06,800 --> 01:06:08,240
You guys are so polished.

2269
01:06:08,240 --> 01:06:09,600
Yeah, we're just miserable.

2270
01:06:09,600 --> 01:06:12,960
Yeah, because I related to that thing you said earlier

2271
01:06:12,960 --> 01:06:16,360
about rehearsing and sounding too robotic when you write.

2272
01:06:16,360 --> 01:06:19,320
I had that a lot when I was first starting.

2273
01:06:19,320 --> 01:06:21,480
It's because when you're first starting,

2274
01:06:21,480 --> 01:06:22,960
you never done good before.

2275
01:06:22,960 --> 01:06:24,640
So you have no reason to be confident

2276
01:06:24,640 --> 01:06:26,480
in your ability just to do it.

2277
01:06:26,480 --> 01:06:27,560
So it just takes time.

2278
01:06:27,560 --> 01:06:28,480
If you're like, oh, that did good.

2279
01:06:28,480 --> 01:06:29,960
And you just walk a little further.

2280
01:06:29,960 --> 01:06:31,120
Oh, that did good, walk a little further.

2281
01:06:31,120 --> 01:06:32,400
And then eventually you get it.

2282
01:06:32,400 --> 01:06:33,360
And I'm only four years in,

2283
01:06:33,360 --> 01:06:36,840
so I'm sure I'm fucking up a lot more than I even know.

2284
01:06:36,840 --> 01:06:39,800
Yeah, but you can tell whenever I watch,

2285
01:06:39,800 --> 01:06:43,840
I'm just coming as, at this point, a fan of comedy and stuff.

2286
01:06:43,840 --> 01:06:46,360
And it's my first time going to open mics and shit like that.

2287
01:06:46,360 --> 01:06:49,600
And then as soon as I see you, I'm like, oh, okay.

2288
01:06:49,600 --> 01:06:51,640
You could have told me you were seven, eight years old.

2289
01:06:51,640 --> 01:06:52,840
I'm like, okay, this guy gots it.

2290
01:06:52,840 --> 01:06:54,360
And your jokes, I'm telling you,

2291
01:06:54,360 --> 01:06:55,960
his jokes are so fucking good.

2292
01:06:55,960 --> 01:06:59,560
You're my, of all the comedians, I love your jokes.

2293
01:06:59,560 --> 01:07:01,400
I know he hates this.

2294
01:07:01,400 --> 01:07:02,560
I love your jokes, man.

2295
01:07:02,560 --> 01:07:03,400
JJ's so handsome.

2296
01:07:03,400 --> 01:07:04,240
You're just so good.

2297
01:07:04,240 --> 01:07:06,160
JJ's handsome as hell, bro.

2298
01:07:06,160 --> 01:07:07,000
Look at him.

2299
01:07:07,000 --> 01:07:07,840
Unparalleled.

2300
01:07:07,840 --> 01:07:09,760
And your delivery, man.

2301
01:07:09,760 --> 01:07:11,440
It's cool, calm, collected.

2302
01:07:11,440 --> 01:07:12,280
So cool, dude.

2303
01:07:12,280 --> 01:07:13,720
You fumble it, you recover.

2304
01:07:13,720 --> 01:07:15,520
I fumble it, there you go.

2305
01:07:15,520 --> 01:07:18,400
Yeah, it's an opera watching your fucking set, dude.

2306
01:07:18,400 --> 01:07:19,880
There's ups, there's downs.

2307
01:07:19,880 --> 01:07:21,320
Dudes, thanks, guys.

2308
01:07:21,320 --> 01:07:22,240
It's amazing, dude.

2309
01:07:22,240 --> 01:07:23,600
I appreciate it.

2310
01:07:23,600 --> 01:07:26,280
But I will say, you do have one of my favorite jokes, dude.

2311
01:07:26,280 --> 01:07:27,400
Which one, tell me.

2312
01:07:27,400 --> 01:07:29,440
Well, I don't want to spoil it and give it away on here.

2313
01:07:29,440 --> 01:07:30,280
Well, that's the problem,

2314
01:07:30,280 --> 01:07:32,520
because a lot of people tell it, talk about it.

2315
01:07:32,520 --> 01:07:33,520
Well, this is weird now.

2316
01:07:33,520 --> 01:07:34,560
But a lot of people talk about it

2317
01:07:34,560 --> 01:07:37,160
and call it the midget porn joke.

2318
01:07:37,160 --> 01:07:38,000
Right.

2319
01:07:38,000 --> 01:07:38,960
But that ruins it.

2320
01:07:38,960 --> 01:07:39,800
You can't call it that.

2321
01:07:39,800 --> 01:07:41,280
It's called the porn addiction joke.

2322
01:07:41,280 --> 01:07:42,120
Porn addiction joke.

2323
01:07:42,120 --> 01:07:43,720
And when I record it on an album,

2324
01:07:43,720 --> 01:07:46,540
I'll make sure that's specifically called that.

2325
01:07:47,480 --> 01:07:48,320
Oh, but yeah, I love that joke.

2326
01:07:48,320 --> 01:07:49,920
But the punchline is so smart.

2327
01:07:49,920 --> 01:07:50,880
Thank you, thank you.

2328
01:07:50,880 --> 01:07:52,640
Dude, I love it so much.

2329
01:07:52,640 --> 01:07:53,480
Well, I'm not gonna tell it,

2330
01:07:53,480 --> 01:07:55,360
so we shouldn't talk around it, probably.

2331
01:07:55,360 --> 01:07:59,160
Cut to this clip of Bryce saying it.

2332
01:07:59,160 --> 01:08:00,520
You do have to send us a clip, man,

2333
01:08:00,520 --> 01:08:01,800
so I could be in it.

2334
01:08:01,800 --> 01:08:05,560
No, he doesn't want to give away that joke, dude.

2335
01:08:05,560 --> 01:08:07,120
What are you doing, man?

2336
01:08:07,120 --> 01:08:09,040
See, he's trying to make you awkward right now.

2337
01:08:09,040 --> 01:08:10,880
Yeah, yeah, he's working that magic.

2338
01:08:10,880 --> 01:08:12,800
All the 140 people that, uh.

2339
01:08:12,800 --> 01:08:13,760
Dude, what are you talking about?

2340
01:08:13,760 --> 01:08:16,160
Every episode, we have to be prepared to blow up, dude.

2341
01:08:16,160 --> 01:08:17,000
Yeah, that's true.

2342
01:08:17,000 --> 01:08:19,320
That's the responsibility that comes

2343
01:08:19,320 --> 01:08:20,560
with posting these videos.

2344
01:08:20,560 --> 01:08:22,640
The next day, dude, you might be getting canceled.

2345
01:08:22,640 --> 01:08:24,360
Which one of you is the wise one?

2346
01:08:24,360 --> 01:08:25,200
Neither, dude.

2347
01:08:25,200 --> 01:08:26,040
I don't think we are.

2348
01:08:26,040 --> 01:08:26,860
Probably Brandon.

2349
01:08:26,860 --> 01:08:27,700
I agree with that.

2350
01:08:27,700 --> 01:08:28,540
And it.

2351
01:08:28,540 --> 01:08:32,040
Well, you fall for the simple tricks.

2352
01:08:32,040 --> 01:08:32,880
Yeah.

2353
01:08:33,840 --> 01:08:34,800
The candy trick, dude.

2354
01:08:34,800 --> 01:08:35,640
I don't know how to fuck you.

2355
01:08:35,640 --> 01:08:38,120
He's the outside of the box guy.

2356
01:08:38,120 --> 01:08:39,360
Yeah, no, I can see that.

2357
01:08:39,360 --> 01:08:41,120
I don't know how we just saw flow.

2358
01:08:41,120 --> 01:08:41,960
I don't even know how,

2359
01:08:41,960 --> 01:08:43,840
like how this all came about was just crazy.

2360
01:08:43,840 --> 01:08:44,680
There is a good flow.

2361
01:08:44,680 --> 01:08:47,640
We look like we're from three different continents.

2362
01:08:47,640 --> 01:08:48,480
You know?

2363
01:08:48,480 --> 01:08:50,300
India, oh, that's not a continent.

2364
01:08:50,300 --> 01:08:51,140
Asia.

2365
01:08:51,140 --> 01:08:51,980
Asia, yeah.

2366
01:08:51,980 --> 01:08:53,320
Asia, the Indian continent.

2367
01:08:54,240 --> 01:08:55,640
Damn, dude.

2368
01:08:55,640 --> 01:08:58,640
When we were talking about you being slow earlier.

2369
01:08:58,640 --> 01:08:59,480
Yeah, you were right.

2370
01:08:59,480 --> 01:09:01,320
Hey, I'm gonna drop a random fact down, y'all.

2371
01:09:01,320 --> 01:09:05,080
Do you know the country with the second largest

2372
01:09:05,080 --> 01:09:08,600
black population in the world is Brazil?

2373
01:09:08,600 --> 01:09:11,680
Is that, is America up there in any of them?

2374
01:09:11,680 --> 01:09:12,840
I think it's.

2375
01:09:12,840 --> 01:09:13,680
Gotta be.

2376
01:09:13,680 --> 01:09:14,500
It's gotta be third or fourth.

2377
01:09:14,500 --> 01:09:16,280
I think it's Nigeria or Kenya is first.

2378
01:09:16,280 --> 01:09:17,120
I don't know.

2379
01:09:17,120 --> 01:09:17,960
And then it's Brazil.

2380
01:09:17,960 --> 01:09:18,800
Yeah, if you're taking.

2381
01:09:18,800 --> 01:09:20,000
I'm taking all the African countries

2382
01:09:20,000 --> 01:09:22,360
should be one through whatever.

2383
01:09:22,360 --> 01:09:23,520
But even with the African countries,

2384
01:09:23,520 --> 01:09:24,360
Brazil is still number two.

2385
01:09:24,360 --> 01:09:25,200
But Brazil is so big.

2386
01:09:25,200 --> 01:09:28,240
There's like 75 million black people.

2387
01:09:28,240 --> 01:09:29,440
African descent.

2388
01:09:29,440 --> 01:09:30,920
That's interesting.

2389
01:09:30,920 --> 01:09:32,480
Why are you looking that up, chief?

2390
01:09:32,480 --> 01:09:35,580
I'm in modern Latin American history.

2391
01:09:35,580 --> 01:09:37,040
Shout out Dr. Pacino, dude.

2392
01:09:37,040 --> 01:09:38,480
She came to one of my shows.

2393
01:09:39,440 --> 01:09:41,340
Shout out, I forgot you're in school.

2394
01:09:41,340 --> 01:09:42,180
Yeah, dude.

2395
01:09:42,180 --> 01:09:43,000
That's an easy excuse for that.

2396
01:09:43,000 --> 01:09:43,840
How could you forget?

2397
01:09:43,840 --> 01:09:45,400
I'm so scholarly, bro.

2398
01:09:45,400 --> 01:09:47,480
Academia is my realm.

2399
01:09:47,480 --> 01:09:49,160
Comedy is just a hobby, dude.

2400
01:09:51,800 --> 01:09:53,000
I'm a scholar at heart.

2401
01:09:53,000 --> 01:09:56,600
Another one would be the scholar gentleman and the scholar.

2402
01:09:56,600 --> 01:09:58,160
Dude, always.

2403
01:09:58,160 --> 01:09:59,640
I know a few things.

2404
01:09:59,640 --> 01:10:01,840
I know what country has the second largest

2405
01:10:01,840 --> 01:10:03,320
black population in the world.

2406
01:10:03,320 --> 01:10:06,120
I feel like you got told a lot of stuff and that stuck.

2407
01:10:06,120 --> 01:10:06,960
Oh, dude.

2408
01:10:06,960 --> 01:10:08,040
I wanna retain this one.

2409
01:10:08,040 --> 01:10:10,680
When I hear stuff about that, I'm like, okay, dude.

2410
01:10:10,680 --> 01:10:12,020
I'm remembering.

2411
01:10:12,020 --> 01:10:15,360
Also, when I found out UAH used to be a plantation.

2412
01:10:15,360 --> 01:10:16,200
Yeah, that's wild.

2413
01:10:16,200 --> 01:10:17,360
I'll never forget that one, dude.

2414
01:10:17,360 --> 01:10:18,200
Yeah, I love that joke.

2415
01:10:18,200 --> 01:10:20,080
I don't fuck with that.

2416
01:10:20,080 --> 01:10:21,920
UAH sucks.

2417
01:10:21,920 --> 01:10:23,600
I don't know, man.

2418
01:10:23,600 --> 01:10:26,160
What are our alumni shirts gonna be?

2419
01:10:26,160 --> 01:10:28,120
Our historical shirt.

2420
01:10:28,120 --> 01:10:30,240
How Auburn and the big SEC schools

2421
01:10:30,240 --> 01:10:32,600
have all the maps and shit.

2422
01:10:32,600 --> 01:10:34,200
What would ours be, dude?

2423
01:10:34,200 --> 01:10:35,280
We couldn't even make one.

2424
01:10:35,280 --> 01:10:37,960
We get canceled just for fucking making it.

2425
01:10:37,960 --> 01:10:39,040
I have no clue.

2426
01:10:39,040 --> 01:10:40,400
I swear I go to this school,

2427
01:10:40,400 --> 01:10:41,440
but I have no clue about anything.

2428
01:10:41,440 --> 01:10:43,240
I'll just focus on the science.

2429
01:10:45,160 --> 01:10:46,440
The slavery past.

2430
01:10:46,440 --> 01:10:47,760
It's not as fun.

2431
01:10:47,760 --> 01:10:49,600
I think they could do something.

2432
01:10:49,600 --> 01:10:51,800
How can they not mention it?

2433
01:10:51,800 --> 01:10:52,640
That's what I'm saying.

2434
01:10:52,640 --> 01:10:55,480
It's so integral to the history of the university, dude.

2435
01:10:55,480 --> 01:10:56,680
I think they'll be fine.

2436
01:10:57,760 --> 01:10:58,600
Laten.

2437
01:10:58,600 --> 01:10:59,440
I like my other stuff.

2438
01:10:59,440 --> 01:11:01,160
They do all kinds of stuff.

2439
01:11:01,160 --> 01:11:02,600
Y'all on a tight schedule today?

2440
01:11:02,600 --> 01:11:04,440
Oh, you got a show.

2441
01:11:04,440 --> 01:11:05,680
Big Boy Dumb got the show.

2442
01:11:05,680 --> 01:11:08,120
You're so good at comedy.

2443
01:11:08,120 --> 01:11:09,240
Gang gang over here.

2444
01:11:09,240 --> 01:11:12,920
And it's for big strong heroes and stuff?

2445
01:11:12,920 --> 01:11:13,760
Why are you stroking the mic?

2446
01:11:13,760 --> 01:11:14,600
I thought it was the tree.

2447
01:11:14,600 --> 01:11:15,440
That's weird.

2448
01:11:15,440 --> 01:11:16,840
I didn't know big strong heroes.

2449
01:11:16,840 --> 01:11:17,680
You got a camera right there.

2450
01:11:17,680 --> 01:11:18,520
Oh, that's crazy.

2451
01:11:18,520 --> 01:11:19,360
I did that.

2452
01:11:19,360 --> 01:11:20,200
I really was just playing with the buds.

2453
01:11:20,200 --> 01:11:22,200
I got a clip right there.

2454
01:11:22,200 --> 01:11:23,040
That sucks.

2455
01:11:23,040 --> 01:11:23,860
The Mike Tamer.

2456
01:11:23,860 --> 01:11:24,700
Military man.

2457
01:11:26,360 --> 01:11:27,280
At least he did it too.

2458
01:11:27,280 --> 01:11:28,120
I feel better now.

2459
01:11:28,120 --> 01:11:28,960
Thank you.

2460
01:11:28,960 --> 01:11:29,800
Your turn.

2461
01:11:29,800 --> 01:11:30,620
Come on, man.

2462
01:11:30,620 --> 01:11:32,160
I don't know how I would approach it.

2463
01:11:32,160 --> 01:11:34,400
I've never put it, now that I have to think about it,

2464
01:11:34,400 --> 01:11:35,240
it just kind of came naturally.

2465
01:11:35,240 --> 01:11:36,780
Do you think you would just grab it?

2466
01:11:36,780 --> 01:11:37,920
Or do you think you would?

2467
01:11:37,920 --> 01:11:38,760
What's the action?

2468
01:11:38,760 --> 01:11:39,840
What, are we sucking dick?

2469
01:11:39,840 --> 01:11:41,020
Or jerking off?

2470
01:11:42,680 --> 01:11:45,040
He looked like he was more jerking off the military.

2471
01:11:45,040 --> 01:11:45,880
I was just playing with it.

2472
01:11:45,880 --> 01:11:47,480
I was just playing with it?

2473
01:11:47,480 --> 01:11:48,320
I don't know.

2474
01:11:48,320 --> 01:11:49,160
What do you mean?

2475
01:11:49,160 --> 01:11:50,440
Maybe dab it up, huh?

2476
01:11:50,440 --> 01:11:51,280
Yeah.

2477
01:11:51,280 --> 01:11:52,660
Yeah.

2478
01:11:52,660 --> 01:11:53,500
I just met the guy.

2479
01:11:53,500 --> 01:11:54,340
Come on.

2480
01:11:54,340 --> 01:11:55,180
What's up, dude?

2481
01:11:55,180 --> 01:11:56,720
You guys are so forward, bro.

2482
01:11:56,720 --> 01:11:57,920
Toxic, masculine.

2483
01:11:57,920 --> 01:11:59,760
You guys are assholes.

2484
01:11:59,760 --> 01:12:02,040
You guys recorded 20 more minutes.

2485
01:12:02,040 --> 01:12:03,480
Let me jerk off real quick.

2486
01:12:03,480 --> 01:12:05,760
Let me jerk something off.

2487
01:12:05,760 --> 01:12:06,600
Yeah, let's record.

2488
01:12:06,600 --> 01:12:08,660
Actually, can we do a lot more time?

2489
01:12:10,040 --> 01:12:10,880
Yeah, can we?

2490
01:12:10,880 --> 01:12:11,720
I'm having fun.

2491
01:12:11,720 --> 01:12:12,560
Let's start jerking.

2492
01:12:12,560 --> 01:12:13,400
Yeah, dude.

2493
01:12:13,400 --> 01:12:14,920
This is actually pretty cool.

2494
01:12:14,920 --> 01:12:15,760
You want the pen?

2495
01:12:15,760 --> 01:12:16,580
Where's the pen at?

2496
01:12:16,580 --> 01:12:17,420
We just get the pen.

2497
01:12:17,420 --> 01:12:18,260
You know, you use mine, then.

2498
01:12:18,260 --> 01:12:19,100
I bought from you.

2499
01:12:19,100 --> 01:12:19,940
This is yours?

2500
01:12:19,940 --> 01:12:21,120
No, I got it right here.

2501
01:12:21,120 --> 01:12:22,240
I was like, you use mine.

2502
01:12:22,240 --> 01:12:23,480
Oh, yeah, yeah, hell yeah.

2503
01:12:23,480 --> 01:12:24,320
Let's see how bad.

2504
01:12:24,320 --> 01:12:25,160
Jesus Christ.

2505
01:12:25,160 --> 01:12:25,980
Dude.

2506
01:12:25,980 --> 01:12:27,480
Fuck that.

2507
01:12:27,480 --> 01:12:28,880
We don't give a fuck over here.

2508
01:12:28,880 --> 01:12:29,720
Shit, shit, shit.

2509
01:12:29,720 --> 01:12:30,760
I thought you were a superhero.

2510
01:12:30,760 --> 01:12:31,720
I actually flinched, dude.

2511
01:12:31,720 --> 01:12:32,800
I was so scared.

2512
01:12:32,800 --> 01:12:34,720
I was like, it's gonna fly at me at superhuman speed.

2513
01:12:34,720 --> 01:12:36,480
That's the strongest comic in Huntsville.

2514
01:12:36,480 --> 01:12:37,320
Oh, shit.

2515
01:12:37,320 --> 01:12:38,920
It might put a hole right through me.

2516
01:12:38,920 --> 01:12:39,760
Fuck.

2517
01:12:41,160 --> 01:12:43,740
You do look like the before of Captain America.

2518
01:12:45,400 --> 01:12:46,600
That's kind of what I'm going for

2519
01:12:46,600 --> 01:12:48,320
when I'm making these jokes.

2520
01:12:48,320 --> 01:12:51,240
Captain America, if instead he got the super soldier serum,

2521
01:12:51,240 --> 01:12:53,160
he just started working out.

2522
01:12:54,240 --> 01:12:55,080
He just took a diet.

2523
01:12:55,080 --> 01:12:55,900
He didn't even work out.

2524
01:12:55,900 --> 01:12:58,120
He just kinda got a diet plan.

2525
01:12:58,120 --> 01:12:59,320
He just started eating.

2526
01:12:59,320 --> 01:13:00,140
He sticks through some times.

2527
01:13:00,140 --> 01:13:01,120
They got out of the Great Depression.

2528
01:13:01,120 --> 01:13:03,360
He could afford food again.

2529
01:13:03,360 --> 01:13:04,600
He just got some money.

2530
01:13:05,680 --> 01:13:06,520
Well, fuck you, dude.

2531
01:13:06,520 --> 01:13:08,200
You don't look great.

2532
01:13:08,200 --> 01:13:09,280
You ever think about how you look?

2533
01:13:09,280 --> 01:13:10,320
Dude, you're like.

2534
01:13:10,320 --> 01:13:11,280
It's not awesome.

2535
01:13:12,520 --> 01:13:15,400
I can blanket on the word, dude.

2536
01:13:15,400 --> 01:13:17,040
It's not upper class.

2537
01:13:17,040 --> 01:13:19,140
It's not lower class.

2538
01:13:19,140 --> 01:13:19,980
Middle class?

2539
01:13:19,980 --> 01:13:20,880
Middle class.

2540
01:13:20,880 --> 01:13:22,880
I was gonna say medium class.

2541
01:13:22,880 --> 01:13:24,360
I don't take drugs, dude.

2542
01:13:26,160 --> 01:13:27,920
Do you need to?

2543
01:13:27,920 --> 01:13:31,800
Dude, you're like fucking middle class Steve Rogers, dude.

2544
01:13:31,800 --> 01:13:33,880
He just got to go to fucking Aldi.

2545
01:13:34,720 --> 01:13:35,680
I'm not sure if Steve Rogers.

2546
01:13:35,680 --> 01:13:37,720
Oh, is that Captain America?

2547
01:13:37,720 --> 01:13:38,880
Wow, okay.

2548
01:13:38,880 --> 01:13:40,520
I told you I'm a scholar, dude.

2549
01:13:40,520 --> 01:13:41,360
Intellectual guy.

2550
01:13:41,360 --> 01:13:44,080
Marvel comic book scholar.

2551
01:13:44,080 --> 01:13:45,720
World War II, dude, it's history.

2552
01:13:45,720 --> 01:13:48,760
The Red Skull tried to fucking kill the Jews.

2553
01:13:49,680 --> 01:13:51,520
Or whatever, dude.

2554
01:13:51,520 --> 01:13:52,360
Yeah, who's talking?

2555
01:13:52,360 --> 01:13:54,000
I'm not saying it's right.

2556
01:13:54,000 --> 01:13:55,920
I'm just saying it happened.

2557
01:13:55,920 --> 01:13:58,480
Dude, you gotta come more confident than that.

2558
01:13:58,480 --> 01:13:59,800
Killed the Jews or something.

2559
01:13:59,800 --> 01:14:01,040
I don't know.

2560
01:14:01,040 --> 01:14:02,960
Maybe if you guys want to.

2561
01:14:02,960 --> 01:14:03,920
Whatever, dude.

2562
01:14:03,920 --> 01:14:05,720
I don't have four years of experience

2563
01:14:05,720 --> 01:14:08,440
in all these shows under my belt like you do, dude.

2564
01:14:08,440 --> 01:14:09,640
You're just my inspiration.

2565
01:14:09,640 --> 01:14:10,480
I get nervous when you're sitting there.

2566
01:14:10,480 --> 01:14:12,880
If you got all this internet talking,

2567
01:14:12,880 --> 01:14:13,760
you got all that stuff.

2568
01:14:13,760 --> 01:14:15,240
That's pretty cool.

2569
01:14:15,240 --> 01:14:17,760
It has done nothing for my career.

2570
01:14:17,760 --> 01:14:19,160
It has to help with your confidence.

2571
01:14:19,160 --> 01:14:20,760
You're putting yourself out there like that.

2572
01:14:20,760 --> 01:14:23,360
The only reason people will come up to me

2573
01:14:23,360 --> 01:14:25,680
is if they have seen the Grimace video

2574
01:14:25,680 --> 01:14:28,720
where I get sexually assaulted by the McDonald mascot.

2575
01:14:28,720 --> 01:14:29,560
Yeah, that's huge.

2576
01:14:29,560 --> 01:14:31,640
That's not what you want to be known for, though.

2577
01:14:31,640 --> 01:14:34,360
Now that that's the thing that's out there,

2578
01:14:34,360 --> 01:14:35,880
what can you be nervous about?

2579
01:14:35,880 --> 01:14:37,160
Yeah, no.

2580
01:14:37,160 --> 01:14:38,840
You see, that's out there to everybody to see.

2581
01:14:38,840 --> 01:14:39,680
That shit's embarrassing.

2582
01:14:39,680 --> 01:14:42,240
Damn, dude, I am a man of scholarship

2583
01:14:42,240 --> 01:14:43,600
and that is pretty good logic.

2584
01:14:43,600 --> 01:14:44,920
I'm trying to find a way around it.

2585
01:14:44,920 --> 01:14:45,760
I'm trying to rest.

2586
01:14:45,760 --> 01:14:50,280
That's just fucking embarrassing what you did.

2587
01:14:50,280 --> 01:14:51,120
Whatever, dude.

2588
01:14:51,120 --> 01:14:54,000
It was cool for like three seconds.

2589
01:14:54,000 --> 01:14:54,840
No, it was fun.

2590
01:14:54,840 --> 01:14:56,400
I'm just kidding.

2591
01:14:56,400 --> 01:14:58,640
What's your favorite type of genre of movies?

2592
01:15:01,640 --> 01:15:05,280
You always just bring up the questions with no like.

2593
01:15:05,280 --> 01:15:08,120
You skipped the four play to the question.

2594
01:15:08,120 --> 01:15:12,520
Did you fucking get on my Facebook and my Instagram

2595
01:15:12,520 --> 01:15:14,480
and be like, I wonder what kind of movies he likes?

2596
01:15:14,480 --> 01:15:15,320
Yeah.

2597
01:15:15,320 --> 01:15:16,680
Let's redo.

2598
01:15:16,680 --> 01:15:19,960
He looks like a guy who doesn't know what kind of movies.

2599
01:15:19,960 --> 01:15:22,600
I would say comedy, but comedy movies kind of suck balls,

2600
01:15:22,600 --> 01:15:23,800
unfortunately.

2601
01:15:23,800 --> 01:15:25,440
I would like it to be comedy, but they just

2602
01:15:25,440 --> 01:15:26,560
don't ever put out good ones.

2603
01:15:26,560 --> 01:15:28,400
Nowadays, that's what I'm sure of.

2604
01:15:28,400 --> 01:15:30,880
So I'm going to say action.

2605
01:15:30,880 --> 01:15:33,080
I love anime, so that's really what I'm up with.

2606
01:15:33,080 --> 01:15:33,600
Are you serious?

2607
01:15:33,600 --> 01:15:34,840
You like anime?

2608
01:15:34,840 --> 01:15:38,240
All I watch are sports and anime, basketball and anime.

2609
01:15:38,240 --> 01:15:40,800
You can watch both of those things in the same show.

2610
01:15:40,800 --> 01:15:41,560
I hate that show.

2611
01:15:41,560 --> 01:15:42,200
I don't watch that.

2612
01:15:42,200 --> 01:15:43,440
I watch basketball anime.

2613
01:15:43,440 --> 01:15:45,640
Yeah, they do have that, but I don't fuck with that.

2614
01:15:45,640 --> 01:15:48,560
Do you think eventually they will start animating the basketball

2615
01:15:48,560 --> 01:15:52,640
games in real time and do like an NBA anime game?

2616
01:15:52,640 --> 01:15:54,400
They probably got a filter for that already.

2617
01:15:54,400 --> 01:15:58,240
They do have like the cartoon, like Anthony Davis.

2618
01:15:58,240 --> 01:16:00,880
And they have like a whole NBA produced show and shit.

2619
01:16:00,880 --> 01:16:04,760
The NFL Nickelodeon game where like slime comes on the field.

2620
01:16:07,720 --> 01:16:09,080
Yeah, whatever, dude.

2621
01:16:09,080 --> 01:16:12,000
But that's good for like kids.

2622
01:16:12,000 --> 01:16:14,840
This guy's over here saying he listens to anime, watches anime.

2623
01:16:14,840 --> 01:16:16,840
Yeah, no, it's not for kids.

2624
01:16:16,840 --> 01:16:18,240
I used to be into it.

2625
01:16:18,240 --> 01:16:19,680
I don't watch anime for kids.

2626
01:16:19,680 --> 01:16:20,440
It's not.

2627
01:16:20,440 --> 01:16:23,520
So what's your anime of choice?

2628
01:16:23,520 --> 01:16:25,200
All right, now Jujutsu Kaisen, bro.

2629
01:16:25,200 --> 01:16:26,640
That's everybody's one, though.

2630
01:16:26,640 --> 01:16:27,160
It is?

2631
01:16:27,160 --> 01:16:27,840
It's so good.

2632
01:16:27,840 --> 01:16:29,200
If you watch it, you would like it.

2633
01:16:29,200 --> 01:16:30,320
It's called what now?

2634
01:16:30,320 --> 01:16:32,560
Jujutsu Kaisen.

2635
01:16:32,560 --> 01:16:34,680
OK, I'm going to look it up now.

2636
01:16:34,680 --> 01:16:35,920
You're going to forget it.

2637
01:16:35,920 --> 01:16:37,200
Jujutsu Kaisen.

2638
01:16:37,200 --> 01:16:38,800
I already fucked it up.

2639
01:16:38,800 --> 01:16:39,720
Jujutsu Slide.

2640
01:16:39,720 --> 01:16:41,320
Yeah, I know what you're talking about.

2641
01:16:41,320 --> 01:16:42,280
The Jubi Slide.

2642
01:16:42,280 --> 01:16:43,120
Yeah, the Jubi Slide.

2643
01:16:46,560 --> 01:16:47,520
Yeah, I got it.

2644
01:16:47,520 --> 01:16:49,480
Anime is just dancing, dude.

2645
01:16:49,480 --> 01:16:51,080
That's all it is.

2646
01:16:51,080 --> 01:16:52,080
In a way, martial arts.

2647
01:16:52,080 --> 01:16:53,280
That's why you move your hips like Shakira, huh?

2648
01:16:53,280 --> 01:16:54,840
That's why you move your hips like Shakira.

2649
01:16:54,840 --> 01:16:57,160
Go and stroke that mic for me real quick.

2650
01:16:57,160 --> 01:17:00,280
Go and stroke that mic.

2651
01:17:00,280 --> 01:17:01,160
Say it again.

2652
01:17:01,160 --> 01:17:03,760
That's why you move your hips like Shakira.

2653
01:17:03,760 --> 01:17:05,280
I love the way you move your hips.

2654
01:17:07,800 --> 01:17:08,560
Fuck this guy.

2655
01:17:08,560 --> 01:17:10,440
This guy does talk shit, man.

2656
01:17:10,440 --> 01:17:11,920
This motherfucker.

2657
01:17:11,920 --> 01:17:12,960
I tried to warn you.

2658
01:17:12,960 --> 01:17:16,280
All I can do is sit over here and just watch with Harold.

2659
01:17:16,280 --> 01:17:17,680
That wasn't a sneak diss, though.

2660
01:17:17,680 --> 01:17:20,560
That was a very overt, mean thing to say.

2661
01:17:20,560 --> 01:17:22,080
It wasn't mean.

2662
01:17:22,080 --> 01:17:23,360
Guys, we're having fun.

2663
01:17:23,360 --> 01:17:24,280
I know, dude.

2664
01:17:24,280 --> 01:17:25,360
Let me get this cake again.

2665
01:17:25,360 --> 01:17:27,200
Yeah, go get that again.

2666
01:17:27,200 --> 01:17:29,040
I know you get wet, little nigga.

2667
01:17:29,040 --> 01:17:32,280
Yeah, bro.

2668
01:17:32,280 --> 01:17:33,440
Playboy.

2669
01:17:33,440 --> 01:17:34,600
Hey, Playboy.

2670
01:17:34,600 --> 01:17:39,480
He can say the N-word, which makes him infinitely cooler.

2671
01:17:39,480 --> 01:17:40,280
That's a plus.

2672
01:17:40,280 --> 01:17:40,960
That's cool.

2673
01:17:40,960 --> 01:17:43,800
Yeah, dude, you just can't match that in a roast.

2674
01:17:43,800 --> 01:17:44,760
You know what I'm saying?

2675
01:17:44,760 --> 01:17:47,000
You can never pull that card out of your back pocket,

2676
01:17:47,000 --> 01:17:49,120
because that's the ejector seat, bro.

2677
01:17:49,120 --> 01:17:50,160
You got to have the car running.

2678
01:17:50,160 --> 01:17:51,720
If a black guy calls you the N-word?

2679
01:17:51,720 --> 01:17:53,560
No, if it was the other way around.

2680
01:17:53,560 --> 01:17:55,560
I'm saying, you can never do that, dude.

2681
01:17:55,560 --> 01:17:58,200
He's talking about if you was like, this nigga right here.

2682
01:17:58,200 --> 01:17:59,880
Yeah, I wouldn't do that.

2683
01:17:59,880 --> 01:18:02,160
Yeah, I'm not advocating that you should.

2684
01:18:02,160 --> 01:18:05,360
I'm just saying he has that ability, and it is funny.

2685
01:18:05,360 --> 01:18:07,960
As a white person, any time you hear somebody say the N-word,

2686
01:18:07,960 --> 01:18:09,560
you're like, hey, Jake Lovell.

2687
01:18:09,560 --> 01:18:11,800
Whoa.

2688
01:18:11,800 --> 01:18:12,320
Oh my gosh.

2689
01:18:12,320 --> 01:18:12,920
Jake loves it.

2690
01:18:12,920 --> 01:18:13,760
He gets such a kick.

2691
01:18:13,760 --> 01:18:15,920
I'm like, can I do something?

2692
01:18:15,920 --> 01:18:16,680
Hell yeah, nigga.

2693
01:18:16,680 --> 01:18:18,160
Go ahead.

2694
01:18:18,160 --> 01:18:18,800
OK.

2695
01:18:18,800 --> 01:18:20,000
He gets all giddy about it.

2696
01:18:20,000 --> 01:18:20,480
OK.

2697
01:18:20,480 --> 01:18:22,080
Yeah, dude, we get excited.

2698
01:18:22,080 --> 01:18:23,160
It turns us off.

2699
01:18:23,160 --> 01:18:24,040
Turn us up, bro.

2700
01:18:24,040 --> 01:18:25,280
It turns us on.

2701
01:18:25,280 --> 01:18:25,760
Up.

2702
01:18:25,760 --> 01:18:27,800
I said up.

2703
01:18:27,800 --> 01:18:30,600
Don't worry about this.

2704
01:18:30,600 --> 01:18:32,960
So I did write down one more thing I wanted to talk about.

2705
01:18:32,960 --> 01:18:33,680
Ask me away, bro.

2706
01:18:33,680 --> 01:18:35,000
What's up?

2707
01:18:35,000 --> 01:18:39,680
You know, one time I was over at another comedian's apartment

2708
01:18:39,680 --> 01:18:41,800
sci-fi.

2709
01:18:41,800 --> 01:18:42,520
I've heard of him.

2710
01:18:42,520 --> 01:18:43,480
Yeah.

2711
01:18:43,480 --> 01:18:46,400
I know y'all are acquaintances.

2712
01:18:46,400 --> 01:18:49,440
He told me when I entered the building that you were,

2713
01:18:49,440 --> 01:18:54,120
the facility, that you were smoking gay weed.

2714
01:18:54,120 --> 01:18:56,880
Oh, you mean like legal weed is what it is.

2715
01:18:56,880 --> 01:18:59,080
But is that what you mean by gay?

2716
01:18:59,080 --> 01:18:59,920
That's what he means.

2717
01:18:59,920 --> 01:19:01,680
I don't say that.

2718
01:19:01,680 --> 01:19:03,440
I heard it was gay.

2719
01:19:03,440 --> 01:19:05,680
I heard that you claimed it was gay weed.

2720
01:19:05,680 --> 01:19:06,200
You did?

2721
01:19:06,200 --> 01:19:08,960
Sci-fi told me that you came in and was like,

2722
01:19:08,960 --> 01:19:11,080
we can smoke some of this gay weed.

2723
01:19:11,080 --> 01:19:13,040
That's what Bryce calls it.

2724
01:19:13,040 --> 01:19:14,040
BT-dubs.

2725
01:19:14,040 --> 01:19:16,680
He said that he was impersonating you.

2726
01:19:16,680 --> 01:19:19,800
He's like, hey, we can smoke some of this gay weed.

2727
01:19:19,800 --> 01:19:21,840
He said that you did this.

2728
01:19:21,840 --> 01:19:23,080
Is this false?

2729
01:19:23,080 --> 01:19:23,600
It's false.

2730
01:19:23,600 --> 01:19:24,960
Are you asking me like that, dude?

2731
01:19:24,960 --> 01:19:27,600
Everything's false if you put your hand out like that at me.

2732
01:19:27,600 --> 01:19:28,520
Yes, sir, officer.

2733
01:19:28,520 --> 01:19:30,440
I'm giving you the Chris Hansen body language.

2734
01:19:30,440 --> 01:19:30,960
Yeah, dude.

2735
01:19:30,960 --> 01:19:31,920
I'd like to have a seat.

2736
01:19:31,920 --> 01:19:33,560
I don't know what you're talking about.

2737
01:19:33,560 --> 01:19:36,440
No, dude, but what's up with the gay weed, man?

2738
01:19:36,440 --> 01:19:38,840
I smoke the legal weed all the time.

2739
01:19:38,840 --> 01:19:40,680
So it's just like what you can buy at the store?

2740
01:19:40,680 --> 01:19:41,280
Yeah, it's just.

2741
01:19:41,280 --> 01:19:43,280
At the shop, Cannon Bar in Merkintown.

2742
01:19:43,280 --> 01:19:44,800
Yeah, come on down.

2743
01:19:44,800 --> 01:19:46,000
It's some good stuff.

2744
01:19:46,000 --> 01:19:46,760
Get your high.

2745
01:19:46,760 --> 01:19:48,280
I smoke it every night.

2746
01:19:48,280 --> 01:19:50,080
I'm doing great.

2747
01:19:50,080 --> 01:19:52,160
Don't you want to be like me?

2748
01:19:52,160 --> 01:19:53,240
Hell yeah, dude.

2749
01:19:53,240 --> 01:19:54,400
Just stare at it.

2750
01:19:54,400 --> 01:19:56,760
You want to be the strongest person that smokes it?

2751
01:19:56,760 --> 01:19:58,920
The strongest.

2752
01:19:58,920 --> 01:20:00,520
You guys are going to be beat up.

2753
01:20:00,520 --> 01:20:03,920
And you're banging a lot of black bitches, huh?

2754
01:20:03,920 --> 01:20:05,480
I've also heard this theory.

2755
01:20:05,480 --> 01:20:07,600
So if I tell you that, and Bryce is like,

2756
01:20:07,600 --> 01:20:08,640
I'm banging a lot of black bitches.

2757
01:20:08,640 --> 01:20:09,760
There's actually multiple people.

2758
01:20:09,760 --> 01:20:11,960
It's like Bryce be tearing them black chicks up.

2759
01:20:11,960 --> 01:20:12,880
Yeah.

2760
01:20:12,880 --> 01:20:15,000
Light skin with big booties.

2761
01:20:15,000 --> 01:20:16,240
OK.

2762
01:20:16,240 --> 01:20:17,040
I accept.

2763
01:20:17,040 --> 01:20:18,440
I accept, right?

2764
01:20:18,440 --> 01:20:19,400
All right.

2765
01:20:19,400 --> 01:20:23,400
Oh, I thought you had a picture evidence.

2766
01:20:23,400 --> 01:20:26,440
I have somebody that you can speak to.

2767
01:20:26,440 --> 01:20:29,040
I can give you a reference.

2768
01:20:29,040 --> 01:20:31,000
Brandon would say some shit like that.

2769
01:20:31,000 --> 01:20:33,200
I'm all about all that stuff.

2770
01:20:33,200 --> 01:20:37,280
But no, I haven't really explored that realm that much,

2771
01:20:37,280 --> 01:20:38,160
really.

2772
01:20:38,160 --> 01:20:38,680
Really?

2773
01:20:38,680 --> 01:20:40,280
You got to get on tenor and set it to black.

2774
01:20:40,280 --> 01:20:42,920
I have such a good story for this.

2775
01:20:42,920 --> 01:20:44,880
But I'm scared that it's not going to get in the episode,

2776
01:20:44,880 --> 01:20:47,600
because we're running out of time, dude.

2777
01:20:47,600 --> 01:20:49,680
I'll say it just for shits and giggles, dude.

2778
01:20:49,680 --> 01:20:50,520
Because this shit is for me.

2779
01:20:50,520 --> 01:20:52,440
You don't want to waste it on me.

2780
01:20:52,440 --> 01:20:54,160
What the fuck is that, bro?

2781
01:20:54,160 --> 01:20:54,800
Fuck Bryce.

2782
01:20:54,800 --> 01:20:56,080
Just say the good story.

2783
01:20:56,080 --> 01:20:56,920
I want to hear it.

2784
01:20:56,920 --> 01:20:57,600
My bad, dude.

2785
01:20:57,600 --> 01:20:59,360
I don't know if I want to tell this really good story.

2786
01:20:59,360 --> 01:21:00,360
It is really good.

2787
01:21:00,360 --> 01:21:02,280
Well, I want it.

2788
01:21:02,280 --> 01:21:04,520
You a big handy guy?

2789
01:21:04,520 --> 01:21:05,360
I love them.

2790
01:21:05,360 --> 01:21:06,400
You like them, too?

2791
01:21:06,400 --> 01:21:08,960
I mean, they're all right.

2792
01:21:08,960 --> 01:21:09,920
Are you into them?

2793
01:21:09,920 --> 01:21:11,040
Fuck no.

2794
01:21:11,040 --> 01:21:12,600
I'm trying to give me a hand job.

2795
01:21:12,600 --> 01:21:14,000
I can jack myself off.

2796
01:21:14,000 --> 01:21:15,600
Now, hit.

2797
01:21:15,600 --> 01:21:18,160
I mean, to start it off, and you just kind of like,

2798
01:21:18,160 --> 01:21:19,760
imagine if you're two, or sitting.

2799
01:21:19,760 --> 01:21:20,800
I don't want to make you guys hard.

2800
01:21:20,800 --> 01:21:23,000
But I'm talking about hand job until completion.

2801
01:21:23,000 --> 01:21:25,920
No, no, no.

2802
01:21:25,920 --> 01:21:28,360
I don't want you to ever say those words again.

2803
01:21:28,360 --> 01:21:29,680
I don't want you to ever say those out loud.

2804
01:21:29,680 --> 01:21:31,080
That sounds like a charge.

2805
01:21:31,080 --> 01:21:32,480
Hand job to completion.

2806
01:21:32,480 --> 01:21:35,480
Grand theft auto.

2807
01:21:35,480 --> 01:21:37,000
You know, high treason.

2808
01:21:37,000 --> 01:21:38,320
Hand job to completion.

2809
01:21:38,320 --> 01:21:40,720
That should be illegal, dude.

2810
01:21:40,720 --> 01:21:43,920
That's insane.

2811
01:21:43,920 --> 01:21:46,440
Nobody was operating under that assumption.

2812
01:21:46,440 --> 01:21:51,600
Oh, shit.

2813
01:21:51,600 --> 01:21:52,360
All right.

2814
01:21:52,360 --> 01:21:55,320
No, I'm not a big candidate.

2815
01:21:55,320 --> 01:21:56,760
All right, this is the end of the podcast.

2816
01:21:56,760 --> 01:21:59,080
Now, Bryce, if you want to say anything to that camera,

2817
01:21:59,080 --> 01:22:02,960
anything you got coming up, your at, all that good stuff.

2818
01:22:02,960 --> 01:22:06,560
Yeah, follow me at Baflett on Instagram,

2819
01:22:06,560 --> 01:22:08,680
Bryce Fletcher on Facebook.

2820
01:22:08,680 --> 01:22:12,960
Yeah, put all my upcoming dates and whatnot up there.

2821
01:22:12,960 --> 01:22:14,240
Hell yeah.

2822
01:22:14,240 --> 01:22:14,760
All right.

2823
01:22:14,760 --> 01:22:26,320
That's it.