1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,360 The plot of Black Panther 2 is like they're in Wakanda and then a dude just comes out of the water 2 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:13,340 Dude that's just the that's just the Montgomery brawl dude 3 00:00:17,720 --> 00:00:20,600 The wings on the shoes is the fucking Hattie threw in there 4 00:00:20,600 --> 00:00:27,880 They copied it bar for bar dude that's fucked up 5 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:34,240 This is the clown college podcast 6 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:38,480 We're just a couple open micers trying to make our way through the scene where we interview 7 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:44,680 Comedians throughout different stages of their comedy career no matter if they're open micers headliners or traveling comedians 8 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:48,400 I'm here to Jamie 2.0. I just talk a lot more 9 00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:51,160 Damn it Brandon go sit in the corner 10 00:00:54,720 --> 00:01:00,640 Hey guys, what's going on y'all? Hey, it's us again. We have extra refreshments here for anyone who would like 11 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:05,000 So how was your weekend JJ is I 12 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:09,180 It was real good. I had a lot of fun at stand-up live 13 00:01:09,180 --> 00:01:14,840 I forgot my joke on stage my first joke three minutes a lot. It's a lot of material to remember you do 14 00:01:14,840 --> 00:01:19,200 It's a lot of material. That's one of the hardest. Oh, yeah, yeah three minutes. You got to get in there banging 15 00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:23,560 Who 30 minutes sets? I don't respect you. Yeah, fuck you Jonathan Silver 16 00:01:25,240 --> 00:01:27,240 My boss 17 00:01:28,160 --> 00:01:30,160 Yeah, I'm sorry man 18 00:01:32,600 --> 00:01:38,200 I'm sorry. I forgot to record Dom said best that I've ever did in my life. Yeah, that was I 19 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:42,160 Is I you know, I'm sorry I missed that one 20 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:48,800 I was fucking with you. Jake was fucking with me dude. Yeah, I couldn't pay attention Jake. I just kept watching him chug beers 21 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:51,920 Shout out Jake 22 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:55,840 Yeah, like four of them the waiter came over and then she's just clanging together 23 00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:03,640 When they were clear the tail he bought a six-pack stickers fingers in each one stand up live each beer is eight dollars 24 00:02:04,840 --> 00:02:09,640 He's a big baller also funny hilarious very very funny. He's gonna be on here soon 25 00:02:09,640 --> 00:02:15,120 I think in some capacity probably before he has his own episode, right? Probably probably just too funny 26 00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:23,440 What's up, what's up with you Brandon man same thing went down to stand up live finally got to go up 27 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:28,000 I did forget some shit, but it was but you know, that's what happens. Yeah, it was good 28 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:31,860 Then after that I got fucked up in the middle of night had a big ass cheesecake 29 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:35,120 Shouldn't have done that fucked up had some talkies with it 30 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:41,640 Then I was crying all day. Oh you ate a whole cheesecake basically mess like I'm sure you was left 31 00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:48,200 We're talking about like an 8 inch cheese. I just went to the place $14 from public mouse. Oh boom. Oh 32 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:54,080 Yep from public's man. I kid you not I went in there went home ate all the shit public's does got the best 33 00:02:54,080 --> 00:02:59,160 Oh, dude, it's not even close. Yeah, Walmart is shadowing about publics 34 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:02,800 Walmart doesn't know if you're not from the South dude move here just for public 35 00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:08,080 Oh hell yeah, and there are subs the pubs of go hard dude. The chicken is good chicken tender 36 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:13,240 Everything the deli goes crazy potato wedges. Yeah everything 37 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:17,500 So you want to tell the people how we got sexually assaulted? Uh, oh, yeah 38 00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:20,760 Um, so basically this is the me too section of the podcast 39 00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:29,440 We were we were at lone goose Friday night after the stand-up live mic is you know me you? 40 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:31,440 sci-fi Jalen Brown 41 00:03:31,760 --> 00:03:34,560 Charlie Fisher Jake Muncie Dan Price 42 00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:38,880 Everybody was yeah a lot of people is there and we're standing by like the end of the bar 43 00:03:39,200 --> 00:03:44,640 Me and Dom standing next to each other and a gentleman is passing us to get to the water station 44 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:50,080 The hydration station if you will and he just grabs a handful of my ass 45 00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:56,720 And I look over and Dom's already looking at me. I'm like grab him in my 36 years of living nobody 46 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:59,760 No grown man has ever grabbed me by my hips to move me out the way 47 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,880 Yeah, I'm 300 pounds. Don't grab me by the fucking hips 48 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:07,600 You tapped me on the shoulder. Can I get right by you and they entered you right? He got a no he 49 00:04:07,600 --> 00:04:12,400 Oh, I thought he got up. I thought you oh, yeah, fuck. No, dude. It was outside. It was a handful of 50 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:14,960 Cheap dude. It was crazy 51 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:17,760 Why was he so comfortable with doing that? 52 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:22,240 I don't know, but I don't know why I was so comfortable with it happening. I didn't really give a fuck 53 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:24,640 Yeah, you didn't Dan Price was like what you guys talking about? 54 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:29,360 It happens every time I go well for Dan it makes sense that twink 55 00:04:30,880 --> 00:04:36,400 Wait till you see Dan. He's the opposite of a twink. I'll tell you that ex-marine dude. Yeah, that's where all the twinks come from 56 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,400 That is true. That is true. I've seen the videos 57 00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:42,640 But um 58 00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:46,800 I forgot what the fuck I was about to say. That's why you don't smoke weed guys. True that. Yeah, I just totally lost my mind 59 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:50,880 Shout out. Uh, well, I probably shouldn't say his name for the gas before this show 60 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:56,800 Because I hit that shit and you know, I'm kind of here. I'm kind of not yeah, and it's legal. It's legal 61 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:58,800 Yeah legal t-a-c-a 62 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:00,800 28 team farm bill 63 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,800 Fucking yeah, I did eat this pizza 64 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:08,640 But I don't think some of that shit that they sell at the shops that they say is legal that cannot be legal can't be oh yeah 65 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:10,640 I I get like 66 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:14,800 What'd you say? I like that shit hits me harder than weed does 67 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:18,000 Oh hell yeah at the shop at the shop can of barmaid 68 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:21,360 Yeah, at the shop at the shop can of bar merkantown 69 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:24,000 Come see us Monday 70 00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:30,240 First and third we have good times. Hey, we have good and you'll see the host of the mic later on this episode 71 00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:36,000 And you are in for a treat because nico we don't even know what the fuck's gonna happen 72 00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:41,160 No, I flipped this table over he might start dancing on it and singing karaoke, which is oh my god 73 00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:43,720 He kills on karaoke. He's surprisingly good at that 74 00:05:43,720 --> 00:05:48,040 Yeah, so Brandon anything happen with you? Oh man 75 00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:50,920 Dude, you want to talk to me and talk about it? 76 00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:54,920 You saw in this 77 00:05:56,760 --> 00:06:00,000 I got scarred at work. Let me see what happened 78 00:06:00,920 --> 00:06:04,440 Middle tonight. I'm talking to these girls, which is my mother my girl my mom 79 00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:09,400 No, fuck that my mother my girl is my sister. I'm tripping. There's two moms 80 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:14,680 Oh, I'm thinking of myself. Oh shit everybody's thinking something wrong with me 81 00:06:14,680 --> 00:06:19,640 I'm playing too much white jazz. So we want to play that Mo Lewis and while I'm trying because we got a dig in 82 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:23,880 Craigs man, we old school. I'm digging real fast. He keeps saying you let him call you Nick 83 00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:29,800 You let him call you Nick and I'm like miss what you let him call you Nick. No, I don't 84 00:06:30,360 --> 00:06:33,640 I'm trying to get you to call me Nick. I'm trying to get you to call me Nick 85 00:06:33,640 --> 00:06:37,160 I'm trying to get you to call me Nick. I'm trying to get you to call me Nick 86 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:40,680 What you let him call you Nick? No, I don't let him call. No, I do not 87 00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:44,280 I was taking this down with that. Hell no 88 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:47,320 But you know then I would have probably lost my job and then you like, you know 89 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:52,920 Why I called you right because i'm a lonely old lady trying to have some fun or something 90 00:06:52,920 --> 00:06:56,840 You want to come on over? I know you get off work after this and i'm like, uh, you know 91 00:06:56,920 --> 00:07:02,360 Not today miss maybe some other time but no i'm good. I'm good. And he's like, okay blow me a kiss man 92 00:07:02,360 --> 00:07:06,680 I was like I didn't do it the first time second time. I'm like, all right. Goodbye 93 00:07:08,680 --> 00:07:10,680 Then I found out it was him 94 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:12,920 I was so shocked man. I was like 95 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:18,360 See, but no after it happened. He came up to us at the next open mic after mike and was like 96 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:23,080 He told us his whole story. He didn't know it was us no clue. Then we come in here to film the video 97 00:07:23,080 --> 00:07:23,640 It's like Brandon 98 00:07:23,640 --> 00:07:29,720 We need to practice this new way of watching clips up on the tv and we start playing that video in his fucking face 99 00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:37,400 You'll see it. Yeah, his fucking face. Yeah. Yeah, it's on alexa z's, uh episode but whenever uh 100 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:43,400 I thought he was mad when he when we filmed the reaction. Didn't you see that? He didn't understand 101 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:49,000 Yeah, I was surprised he was process it took me like 10 minutes to process what was going on and the video was only three minutes 102 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:51,160 Yeah, I was I was surprised and high 103 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:54,040 He was just sitting there like 104 00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:56,040 I 105 00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:01,480 Was like watching somebody watch a movie but it's just 106 00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:09,480 Felt like I was adopted or something. Yeah, that's how I felt too. Oh shit 107 00:08:12,120 --> 00:08:18,360 He feels bad for you jay-jay, no, I feel bad for you brandon. Thank you. That was crazy for multiple reasons 108 00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:21,240 I know man. Yeah 109 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:26,520 You know the next day I'm in my mom she found out I was like why ain't there were they laughing with you or after 110 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:30,760 I'm like dude. No, they laughing with me. He's like sure. I mean when you were a kid 111 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,720 He's throw sticks and rocks you thought they were laughing with you. No 112 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:41,240 Damn dude. I know that was weird. Not only are we laughing with you. I mean who else wouldn't let you're one of the funniest people 113 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:47,560 Oh, I mean just not you're just naturally fun like full disclosure during the video the prank call we are laughing at you 114 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:52,920 Yeah, because it's the it's a prank but then like when i'm watching it with you i'm laughing with you 115 00:08:53,080 --> 00:08:57,800 I'm laughing at that shit. That was funny. I was like that's comedy gold 116 00:08:58,120 --> 00:09:01,560 It couldn't have turned out better than it did it couldn't turn out you can't write that shit 117 00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:05,400 And then they come to find out that moe louis is white. Yes, dude 118 00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:10,280 He said I wanted that white jazz and then he says moe louis stop playing white jazz play moe louis 119 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:13,240 looking if he's listening right now, i'm sorry, but 120 00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:18,360 You know, sometimes you can just you can just tell by the name walter almost never a white dude because 121 00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:22,840 He's like over 100 years old. Yeah, maybe 122 00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:28,920 Oh, yeah, all right. All right. Jimmy carter's wife. She died. I heard that during the football 123 00:09:30,200 --> 00:09:34,840 But was funny was that they were like rip jimmy carter's wife 19 years old 124 00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:37,400 She was like, oh my god, I'm so sorry 125 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:44,360 That's not funny, but but was funny was that they were like rip jimmy carter's wife 96 years old real 126 00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:46,680 O. G and he's like and back to the game 127 00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:52,120 Yeah, that just like swept it. Yeah. Okay now let's get back to the important. He's like yeah and enough of that bullshit 128 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:54,440 Back to what really matters 129 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:59,240 Watching people do tiktok dances after they score a touchdown 130 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:03,640 That's exactly how it went and watch the rezzo channel with scott hansen. Yeah 131 00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:10,220 Yeah, he's the best chris hansen's brother. Yeah, I think they are are they no, I have no clue. I'm just spreading misinformation 132 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:14,440 That's all this podcast is spread misinformation. Yeah 133 00:10:15,640 --> 00:10:21,480 Yeah, so what's up? What else is new you guys actually saw that you didn't feel my set branding got pranked phone call 134 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:24,280 Yeah, oh I hosted for the first time 135 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:28,760 No, we talked about that last episode. Oh, i'm high guys. Yeah, i'm sorry 136 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:33,720 I'll host again the silver dollar open mic, but you are the host now, right? 137 00:10:34,360 --> 00:10:39,400 Not for homegrown yet, but for the silver dollar. It's i'm just guest hosting jonathan's out of town 138 00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:44,760 And what date is that so they know december 7 december 7 come out and check out anniversary of pearl harbor actually 139 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:52,040 December 7th nintendo switch also came out on december 7 two japanese attacks, dude. It's crazy. I hope alexander show up 140 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:55,080 Oh shit, yeah, that joke gonna be wild 141 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:57,640 We don't want to have a hate crime 142 00:10:57,640 --> 00:10:59,640 What's going on there? 143 00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:03,160 No, he'll probably be busy celebrating the lunar new year 144 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:07,800 He made a joke about it. I swear I think it's year of the dragon 145 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:13,000 You're the dragon, you know how they have like the 12 animals and he's like year of the rat 146 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:19,080 But it's year of the dragon now. That's pretty dope. That is I fuck with dragons way rather better than a rat 147 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:24,280 Yeah, oh man, fuck that rat scared the shit out of me man. What's your favorite animal brandon? 148 00:11:24,280 --> 00:11:29,000 I feel like this is gonna be a crazy, you know what? When I was a kid, it was a shark and a bear 149 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:31,560 And then I was like man, I want to meet one and shit, but you know 150 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:36,920 I told you man my little dumb ass, but then when I got older, I was like fuck that so now 151 00:11:37,720 --> 00:11:40,680 I don't fucking know probably a panther. I don't know a panther 152 00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:46,360 Fuck it black panther, but equally as dangerous as the other they are but I don't want to see that shit 153 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:52,200 A black one or just yeah. Yeah, that's cool one. No race stuff. I just like the black 154 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:56,200 Panty hell. Yeah, wakanda forever. Hell fucking yeah r.i.p. Chad 155 00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:00,280 R.i.p. Jimmy Carter's wife should have recasted it for 156 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:02,920 I'll stand on that 157 00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:08,920 The the plot of black panther 2 is like they're in wakanda and then a dude just comes out of the water 158 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:15,800 I don't want to lie to you today. I remember the plot dude. That's just the that's just the montgomery brawl dude 159 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:18,280 That happened in real life 160 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:20,440 That happened in real life 161 00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:23,320 The wings on the shoes is the fucking hat he threw in the air dude 162 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:28,040 They copied it bar for bar dude, that's fucked up 163 00:12:33,640 --> 00:12:35,640 That sign fell sure who's your favorite character son? 164 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:41,560 Man, you know, I used to be kramer. I like to do that spaz on stage 165 00:12:41,560 --> 00:12:49,000 Yeah, they went crazy crazy what do you say bernie man he said the hearty I was gonna say he didn't say 166 00:12:51,640 --> 00:12:53,400 I know he's not 167 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:59,960 He's not black, but he is he a white dude. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he's white. Oh, yeah. Is he jewisher? He might be 168 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:05,000 I can never tell I don't know. I can never tell who's jewish or not. Yeah 169 00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:10,840 Yeah, I guess I feel I give credit to the germans for figuring that out because I just think they're right kramer's the one on the right 170 00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:13,640 Yeah 171 00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:16,600 Stretched out image. I know yeah 172 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:23,320 Thank you. Have you seen sign failed though brandon? Yeah, i've seen a lot of them just randomly clicking on for other seasons 173 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:27,160 Yeah, but the reason I ask every episode you can watch out of order 174 00:13:27,560 --> 00:13:30,040 I think it's one of the greatest comedies all the time 175 00:13:30,040 --> 00:13:34,760 I just had to ask him because you know, he wears that fucking star wars shirt and he's never watched star wars 176 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:39,560 Yeah, also like three star brandon pulled up to open mic on friday in the star wars shirt 177 00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:46,360 He's never seen star wars some like black track pants and some black leather loafers loafers bro 178 00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:52,680 That was crazy 179 00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:56,280 Brandon pulled up. He's like, oh shit. I forgot. Yeah 180 00:13:56,280 --> 00:13:59,320 Yeah, I looked bro. You drove all the way here 181 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:05,240 And brandon got some big ass feet. Oh, yeah, he was wearing them fucking u-boats on his feet 182 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:11,080 Maybe 14. All right, it's okay. I'll get the camera over there baby 183 00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,200 Call the radio station 184 00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:21,560 We took that part out when we talked about it. Yeah. Oh, yeah, nobody knows the radio station where you're at 185 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:28,360 Well, he is be smooth. So hell yeah, be smooth. Keep a listen out request some more lewis. Mm-hmm 186 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:35,160 Brandon's not gonna realize it's not a prank when somebody asks for more. Oh, yeah. Yeah, i've had plenty of prank calls 187 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:40,360 Like I remember my cousin called he's like you remember me at uh, what was that place called chili's? 188 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:44,920 I was like what chili like yeah, i'm gonna fuck you up. I'm like for real hold up 189 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:47,400 What's going everybody laughing? I'm like, what's funny? 190 00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:52,360 Like you'll see when you pull up and I fuck you up then when he when I found out he was like 191 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:55,320 Just laughing and how you doing and they hung up. He was my cousin 192 00:14:56,360 --> 00:15:01,800 What the hell from when I feel like you're the easiest person to prank. Yeah, you also do seem like you'd be in the chilies 193 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,120 Hell, yeah, i'll be in 194 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:07,640 Those crispers man. Hell, yeah, oh the chicken crisper 195 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:10,120 Man knows game 196 00:15:10,120 --> 00:15:12,440 Knows what he's fucking talking about with that bacon on it 197 00:15:12,440 --> 00:15:16,520 I say when it comes to like low-end chain restaurants cheddar's is probably my favorite 198 00:15:16,520 --> 00:15:22,440 You know, i've never been there they get dude. You gotta go. Okay. So this is this i've now we're talking dude 199 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:26,680 Now we're fucking talking. Let's go appetizers at restaurants that they give you for free 200 00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:34,760 Top three. What is it for me? Number one overall texas roadhouse the fucking rolls with that cinnamon butter 201 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:37,160 I fucked that shit up 202 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:42,440 You can buy a dozen rolls for like five bucks and that's worth it. I'll just eat that as my meal 203 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:47,880 Oh, that shit is bomb. Do you get the butter with it when you order it up? Oh, yeah, dude. I have extra butter 204 00:15:47,880 --> 00:15:51,880 I'll ball out so that and then the reason I thought of it cheddars 205 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:55,240 They have these fucking honey butter croissants that they give you 206 00:15:55,720 --> 00:16:01,240 Shit's flaky and it's nice. You feel a little gay while you're eating it, but it's nice. It's a delicate food 207 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:05,880 And then third, I don't know everybody wants to say like red lobster the cheddar biscuits 208 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:10,360 But i'm gonna be honest. I don't really fuck with red lobster like that. You don't like red lobster. I'm allergic to shrimp 209 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:15,960 Oh, so that eliminates a lot of shit. I like stamp is the best there. I love this. I wouldn't know dude 210 00:16:15,960 --> 00:16:19,480 I can go to town. I know you gotta start micro dosing micro dosing shrimp, dude 211 00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:23,160 You'll get over it after that. I used to get the lobster pizza 212 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:28,920 I never had what you got to try it. I'm telling you. Yeah lobster pizza. What are you saying? 213 00:16:30,120 --> 00:16:31,880 It is amazing. It's like 214 00:16:31,880 --> 00:16:36,600 Appetizer it doesn't have traditional sauce. It has some kind of like alfredo. Yeah, like kind of margarita 215 00:16:36,600 --> 00:16:40,200 It's like a margarita pizza with lobsters on it. Okay, really good 216 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:43,240 And then what's y'all's dude? What's your favorite? 217 00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:45,560 the 218 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:47,560 Okay 219 00:16:48,200 --> 00:16:52,600 Definitely the texas roll house is up there but I would say cheddar I like the cheddar biscuits better 220 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:56,920 Yeah, that'd be my number one and i'm always down for chips and salsa 221 00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:01,240 Yeah, that's a class. You're giving me free chips and salsa. I'm with you. It's the mj of appetizer. Yeah 222 00:17:01,480 --> 00:17:02,760 Oh, yeah 223 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:06,680 I do like those rolls. I'm trying to think of what else brandon. I know you got some 224 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:12,040 You have to know so I got more than two but i'm just gonna say two I got a red lobster 225 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:15,800 Of course the biscuits and then logan's roadhouse biscuits. Okay 226 00:17:16,360 --> 00:17:17,480 Okay 227 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:20,680 You gotta try it man. What that outback bread dude the brown one? 228 00:17:21,480 --> 00:17:25,800 That's yeah, that's good now at cheesecake factory. The brown one is the only good one 229 00:17:25,880 --> 00:17:30,920 Whatever that white one is just hard as shit break your fucking teeth out dude. I would I refuse to eat that shit 230 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:35,800 I remember talking about it with sci-fi one time he calls the brown lows the n-word lows 231 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:39,160 And that's what he tells the waiter to bring you he says bring out the n-word lows 232 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:47,800 Shout out sci-fi, yeah, shout out. Yeah, we're gonna build him up like thanos in this motherfucker 233 00:17:49,240 --> 00:17:51,880 He's gonna come in dredge just to shake it 234 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:56,360 I would I enjoy be like this dude can dunk believe it or not this guy can dunk 235 00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:59,320 What'd he say the other day that he could do it was like crazy athletic 236 00:17:59,320 --> 00:18:05,000 He said he could put his head as his ankles behind his head. He said he could suck his own toe 237 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:10,040 Yeah, suck his own toe. I'm like talking about because he was talking about like oh when you know when you're fucking a bitch 238 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:12,920 You start sucking your own tongue. I don't yeah 239 00:18:13,080 --> 00:18:16,920 I don't know there's no way my body would even move anywhere close to that and I would break myself 240 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:22,440 Yeah, I'm not i'm not limber dude. I don't even understand what he's talking about. How do you suck your own toe while you're? 241 00:18:23,080 --> 00:18:25,080 I don't know even if you were flexible 242 00:18:25,320 --> 00:18:26,840 Why yeah, what's the point? 243 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:32,120 But where are you doing it? Like what position are you? Well, he was like standing up and he did like a cheerleader type 244 00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,600 If you think wait till y'all get soft 245 00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:38,200 If you think he did that he's built like a gnome. He says it himself 246 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:44,680 Gnome built body. I can't believe he said he lifted his leg up like that and so I couldn't I couldn't but he did do it 247 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:49,000 He did show us he can do that. He can lift his leg up that. Yes 248 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:53,560 He can get it like parallel to his like his torso get the fuck out of there 249 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:57,800 Yeah, maybe a little motherfucker is stinky athletic. Yo dom your reaction was priceless, man 250 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:02,840 Because you were agreeing every like yeah, right until you heard the toll thing then you were like, oh hell nah, man 251 00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:06,520 What the fuck dom's real on board until he's not yeah 252 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:11,320 He was on me like, oh, okay. I see what he was. Oh hell. Yeah, because he was saying like regular shit 253 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:15,720 You know you get behind you grab whatever he was saying and he was like you suck your toe 254 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:21,240 What I'm like are you saying sucking her toe? He's like no you suck your own toe. Oh shit 255 00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:25,800 That doesn't make any sense. I'm not a feet guy. I'm be honest definitely not my toes 256 00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:29,080 Oh hell no, you're gonna get sick. Why'd you want to suck your own toe? 257 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:34,360 Get gout in your mouth. I have issues. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I got rid of my leg's foot 258 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:38,920 Yeah, you just piss on your feet in the shower, right? Or is that what they say that doesn't work 259 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:42,120 You got to get some real you got to get some tough. Dom's like I tried it a lot 260 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:44,760 I did it for like three months straight. It never worked 261 00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:52,780 It didn't work man. That was a good dom impression 262 00:19:53,420 --> 00:19:54,780 man, brand 263 00:19:54,780 --> 00:19:56,780 sneak business 264 00:19:56,860 --> 00:20:01,500 Dude the classic I don't know if anybody else had this i'm sure brandon might be able to relate to it 265 00:20:01,660 --> 00:20:06,860 But the classic joke when I was in school is when you would have a textbook and the little thing 266 00:20:06,940 --> 00:20:09,100 It says like issue date return date 267 00:20:09,100 --> 00:20:15,260 And it would be in there in the first page people would write michael jackson issued black returned white 268 00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:20,780 Like that was in like every textbook. That's good. It's a good joke. Yeah, it's a good joke 269 00:20:20,780 --> 00:20:25,500 That's a good joke. I like that, you know, some fucking burnout kid was just sitting there one day and he was like 270 00:20:26,380 --> 00:20:28,380 Finally caused a bomb threat 271 00:20:29,980 --> 00:20:31,980 Yeah, nowadays they don't call me 272 00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:32,860 Oh, yeah, yeah 273 00:20:32,860 --> 00:20:39,580 We had a couple we had my school like somebody brought guns like multiple times with the intent of shooting up the school 274 00:20:40,700 --> 00:20:43,580 Yeah, and then we don't have no fucking metal detectors 275 00:20:43,660 --> 00:20:49,020 They just unlock the door at like eight o'clock and give 30 minutes of free range a walk in the door. We're fucked dude 276 00:20:49,020 --> 00:20:52,860 Oh, yeah sitting dutch, man. Yeah, shooting fish in a barrel. Yo, no joke 277 00:20:52,940 --> 00:20:59,500 I think I actually stopped one almost because I remember my freshman year. Let me tell you my freshman year this dude 278 00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:03,660 He was so mad at these kids because you know, I was in the nerve. We were with the weird kids 279 00:21:04,860 --> 00:21:06,860 Trying to find my way 280 00:21:06,860 --> 00:21:11,260 But yeah, i'm there and he's like that's it. I'm fucking tired this man. I'm gonna go shoot up the school 281 00:21:11,260 --> 00:21:15,980 He ran to the corner and I looked at everybody. Oh shit. Let me go say let me go talk to him 282 00:21:15,980 --> 00:21:19,900 So as soon as I run to him, I said first of all, I need your facebook account 283 00:21:19,900 --> 00:21:25,180 We best friends now so you don't kill my ass. But second of all, I do don't do that shit 284 00:21:25,260 --> 00:21:28,300 Hey, man, text me. Hey, you need something and he didn't do it 285 00:21:28,300 --> 00:21:30,300 Thank the lord 286 00:21:31,420 --> 00:21:35,740 I know you're a hero fucking hero. I know national treasure god damn it 287 00:21:37,340 --> 00:21:40,860 We had a guy who they would make him wear a clear backpack to school 288 00:21:41,740 --> 00:21:45,660 Because he had like they he wrote a list of people he's gonna shoot at school 289 00:21:46,060 --> 00:21:49,580 They found it and they're like you gotta wear this clear backpack now. I'm like 290 00:21:50,300 --> 00:21:55,580 Maybe move him. Maybe don't have him at the school. Yeah, the clear backpack doesn't make me feel better 291 00:21:55,580 --> 00:21:58,540 He's got an entire vehicle in the parking lot 292 00:21:59,340 --> 00:22:03,900 And you know, he might keep that thing in there dude. He might have that fucking thigh holster. Yeah 293 00:22:04,940 --> 00:22:08,380 He might have on a fucking a suicide vest. You don't fucking know 294 00:22:08,940 --> 00:22:10,780 It's crazy 295 00:22:10,780 --> 00:22:15,580 Like my sister just had one of those recently. She she uh went back home because somebody friended her up to school 296 00:22:17,260 --> 00:22:20,460 That's crazy. Yeah with all these people but you that was black people were you 297 00:22:20,460 --> 00:22:26,380 That huh? Oh, yeah, dude. I know they did. Yeah, dude, this dude brought a foot. No that guy was white but this dude 298 00:22:27,020 --> 00:22:30,700 This dude brought a fucking what was it? Yeah, he looked like markiplier that you 299 00:22:32,220 --> 00:22:34,700 But dude this dude pulled up with a fucking bb gun 300 00:22:34,780 --> 00:22:38,300 He's like look at this brandon and every time I look down he just opened it and slashed him like 301 00:22:38,860 --> 00:22:41,980 He tried I think he tried to shoot me in the head for once I ducked down. I just heard 302 00:22:42,860 --> 00:22:47,100 I looked up and he had he just laughing like mike tyson some weird shit 303 00:22:47,100 --> 00:22:52,220 Yeah, man, yeah brandon like matrix dodged a bullet 304 00:22:53,500 --> 00:22:59,580 Nobody said anything and he always brought I was like so nobody's gonna say nothing about the dude with this bb gun just flashing 305 00:23:00,060 --> 00:23:01,500 No 306 00:23:01,500 --> 00:23:03,500 They're weird kids. Yeah, we didn't have that 307 00:23:04,220 --> 00:23:06,620 Yeah, that dude was crazy. I remember my first day 308 00:23:06,700 --> 00:23:12,700 I was trying to go out this girl right and as soon as I sat down he did the most classic fucking trick in the book 309 00:23:12,700 --> 00:23:19,420 Look, boom move the fucking chair bro heartbreaker. Even she fell back. Oh my gosh. You're okay. Try to pick me up 310 00:23:20,460 --> 00:23:22,460 No, I was skinny then she could have picked me up 311 00:23:22,780 --> 00:23:24,780 Yeah back then you know, I was fat ass 312 00:23:25,260 --> 00:23:29,580 You seen in the last once a day back when I was fat as shit. Oh hell. Yeah, man 313 00:23:30,300 --> 00:23:35,020 Shit is that like my walks? Is that the worst like prank you've had pulled on you at school? 314 00:23:35,500 --> 00:23:40,540 What that one which one the one where he pulled the chair out when you're oh no the worst shit that's ever happened to me 315 00:23:40,540 --> 00:23:42,940 That I should have done something about 316 00:23:43,580 --> 00:23:48,860 Because this was a big ass deal was I was standing up and this kid came out nowhere quickly 317 00:23:49,340 --> 00:23:51,900 Pants me man, and it wasn't just my pants 318 00:23:52,460 --> 00:23:53,900 My underwear too 319 00:23:53,900 --> 00:23:56,060 So as soon as it goes down, I just pull it back up 320 00:23:56,620 --> 00:24:01,340 And I thought nobody saw until I got called to the office the next day and the teacher like, you know 321 00:24:01,420 --> 00:24:05,980 Brandon we were looking at the cameras and we had a witness come up and say uh that you got pants 322 00:24:05,980 --> 00:24:08,380 Is that true? He wants to do something about it. I was like 323 00:24:08,380 --> 00:24:13,740 Sure ain't no fucking way. Yeah, man. They they was watching the camera. Oh, yeah 324 00:24:13,740 --> 00:24:16,780 They saw it on the camera. How old were you dude? 325 00:24:17,500 --> 00:24:22,700 Man, I was like afraid it's illegal to have that footage. I know it's illegal to have that on 326 00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:34,780 Yeah, I I haven't been pants but I saw somebody else get pants in a epic fashion dude, it was crazy 327 00:24:34,780 --> 00:24:39,820 What happened there was this guy like who I went to school with and he was not he's just a normal dude 328 00:24:40,140 --> 00:24:42,380 like nobody ever thought anything of it and then 329 00:24:43,340 --> 00:24:48,220 This girl actually she was like kind of like she a lesbian type, but she liked dudes 330 00:24:48,780 --> 00:24:53,900 She went up and she pantsed him like on this main staircase in front of the whole school 331 00:24:54,220 --> 00:25:00,780 He had on a bright ass red thumb when he got pants. He never came back. I swear to god 332 00:25:00,780 --> 00:25:02,780 He never came back to school 333 00:25:02,780 --> 00:25:07,420 Everybody saw it and we're like what the fuck also we're like 16 334 00:25:07,500 --> 00:25:11,740 You know, I I don't it just seems like a weird thing to do, you know 335 00:25:11,740 --> 00:25:15,740 He was living his truth, but the truth can be exposed. Yeah 336 00:25:16,540 --> 00:25:23,100 Was it like a man thong or at least is there are there man thongs? Yeah, I know I only saw the back angle 337 00:25:23,100 --> 00:25:24,940 Oh, I didn't see the front angle 338 00:25:24,940 --> 00:25:31,420 I don't know if it was like a banana hammock type situation or what but in the bag dude, it was it was thong bro 339 00:25:31,420 --> 00:25:33,420 It was thong bro. It was thong bro 340 00:25:33,420 --> 00:25:35,420 Sisqo dude straight up thong 341 00:25:36,700 --> 00:25:38,700 Oh shit 342 00:25:38,700 --> 00:25:40,700 That's good shit 343 00:25:41,500 --> 00:25:44,300 That's fucked up for him. You know what I'm saying? He never can't well 344 00:25:45,100 --> 00:25:52,060 He never came back dude. I i'm sure he's alive. Probably just had to transfer schools. He's probably successful shit now 345 00:25:53,340 --> 00:25:55,340 Hmm damn maybe 346 00:25:56,620 --> 00:25:58,620 It was Heath Cordes 347 00:25:58,620 --> 00:26:00,620 Oh 348 00:26:00,620 --> 00:26:04,620 on the private jet. Did y'all see that shit? Hell no. 349 00:26:04,620 --> 00:26:10,620 Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Hell no for us. Hell yeah for us. 350 00:26:10,620 --> 00:26:14,620 We'll just start, man. We'll get out. We'll get, hey, one day, JJ. 351 00:26:14,620 --> 00:26:19,620 We're on the Honda Accord on the way to Campus 805. He's in the private jet on the way to Las Vegas. 352 00:26:19,620 --> 00:26:21,620 2019 Honda Accord. My bad, dog. 353 00:26:21,620 --> 00:26:23,620 Get that out there. My bad, dog. 354 00:26:23,620 --> 00:26:25,620 Seen the grill on that thing? 355 00:26:25,620 --> 00:26:28,620 I saw the handicap sticker on it. 356 00:26:28,620 --> 00:26:30,620 Hey, man, you best not be looking. 357 00:26:30,620 --> 00:26:35,620 We ain't never got to walk to the fucking venue, dude. 358 00:26:35,620 --> 00:26:39,620 We had curbside parking. Hell yeah. 359 00:26:39,620 --> 00:26:41,620 My car makes it. 360 00:26:41,620 --> 00:26:47,620 Okay, first of all, when we go to Campus 805, me and you always park in the same spot. 361 00:26:47,620 --> 00:26:49,620 I know, that's so fucking weird. 362 00:26:49,620 --> 00:26:53,620 But my favorite thing to do is to sit there and wait for you to start backing out. 363 00:26:53,620 --> 00:26:55,620 Because Brandon's driving is so fucking funny. 364 00:26:55,620 --> 00:26:56,620 Is it? Yeah. 365 00:26:56,620 --> 00:27:01,620 He's like, stop, start. He'll do like a 19-point turn out of a parking spot. 366 00:27:01,620 --> 00:27:05,620 And you can just see Athena in the passenger seat like that. 367 00:27:05,620 --> 00:27:08,620 You know, she's just like, fuck, do the fucking thing, dude. 368 00:27:08,620 --> 00:27:10,620 And Brandon's like, I'm doing the thing. 369 00:27:10,620 --> 00:27:13,620 I'm like, I'm taking my time. Shit. I don't want to hit the sidewalk. 370 00:27:13,620 --> 00:27:16,620 That's why I call shit not a sidewalk. 371 00:27:16,620 --> 00:27:18,620 All right, guys. 372 00:27:18,620 --> 00:27:21,620 Hold on. Yeah. 373 00:27:21,620 --> 00:27:26,620 All right. Three, two, one, go. 374 00:27:26,620 --> 00:27:34,620 But what they don't realize is that not everybody from the South wants to accept that Southern part of their identity. 375 00:27:34,620 --> 00:27:38,620 You know, I forget the Japanese. 376 00:27:38,620 --> 00:27:44,620 Right. Right. 377 00:27:44,620 --> 00:27:49,620 They don't realize that not everybody from the South wants to accept that Southern part of their identity. 378 00:27:49,620 --> 00:27:51,620 There are plenty of Southern things about me. 379 00:27:51,620 --> 00:27:55,620 For example, I lost my virginity in a double-eyed trailer. 380 00:27:55,620 --> 00:27:57,620 Thanks. On an air mattress. 381 00:27:57,620 --> 00:27:59,620 During the Iron Bowl. 382 00:27:59,620 --> 00:28:03,620 To my cousin. Hell yeah. 383 00:28:03,620 --> 00:28:07,620 It was my sister. 384 00:28:07,620 --> 00:28:11,620 Did you guys believe that I'm single if I told you that? 385 00:28:11,620 --> 00:28:12,620 All right. Yeah. 386 00:28:12,620 --> 00:28:18,620 Dude, the worst part about that clip, which I didn't, I haven't told anybody yet, dude, is when I'm up there, 387 00:28:18,620 --> 00:28:22,620 that lady in the green shirt in the front, it was either her or the lady on her left. 388 00:28:22,620 --> 00:28:26,620 When I'm up there and I forget the joke, I'm like, I forgot the fucking joke. 389 00:28:26,620 --> 00:28:29,620 And I look at my notes and she's like, you got this. 390 00:28:29,620 --> 00:28:31,620 And I'm like, bitch, I know I got this shit. 391 00:28:31,620 --> 00:28:33,620 The fuck are you talking about? 392 00:28:33,620 --> 00:28:34,620 I'm going to hit you three, four times a week. 393 00:28:34,620 --> 00:28:35,620 What the fuck are you talking about? 394 00:28:35,620 --> 00:28:37,620 I got this. I've been had this shit. 395 00:28:37,620 --> 00:28:40,620 This is part of the experience. 396 00:28:40,620 --> 00:28:41,620 I hate white women, dude. 397 00:28:41,620 --> 00:28:43,620 Always got something to say, bro. 398 00:28:43,620 --> 00:28:44,620 Un-fucking-real. 399 00:28:44,620 --> 00:28:46,620 Oh, shit. 400 00:28:46,620 --> 00:28:48,620 That was soul crushing. 401 00:28:48,620 --> 00:28:50,620 She's like, you got this. 402 00:28:50,620 --> 00:28:52,620 And I was like, I fucking hope so, dude. 403 00:28:52,620 --> 00:28:53,620 We'll see. 404 00:28:53,620 --> 00:28:57,620 No, that's why I picked this clip, because you fucked up, which I don't have the skill yet. 405 00:28:57,620 --> 00:28:59,620 You fucked up, got right back up. 406 00:28:59,620 --> 00:29:01,620 Matter of fact, you got to laugh with the fuck up. 407 00:29:01,620 --> 00:29:03,620 You have to play into it. 408 00:29:03,620 --> 00:29:06,620 Yeah. And then you came back and crushed for the rest of your set. 409 00:29:06,620 --> 00:29:09,620 Yeah. I mean, but when you fuck up, you have to acknowledge it. 410 00:29:09,620 --> 00:29:14,620 Make it funny, dude, because otherwise it just destroys the illusion of stage presence. 411 00:29:14,620 --> 00:29:20,620 Yeah. Like if you're like, oh, no, dude, it's like, fuck, I forgot because that's my genuine reaction. 412 00:29:20,620 --> 00:29:22,620 I'm like, fuck, I've been practicing this shit. 413 00:29:22,620 --> 00:29:24,620 It's three minutes of material. I can't fuck around. 414 00:29:24,620 --> 00:29:26,620 I got to stop smoking, dude. 415 00:29:26,620 --> 00:29:28,620 Fuck. My recalls are annihilated. 416 00:29:28,620 --> 00:29:34,620 But yeah, and then I didn't even know my pocket was hanging out until I watched the video. 417 00:29:34,620 --> 00:29:37,620 And the stage lights are so fucking bright at stand up live. 418 00:29:37,620 --> 00:29:39,620 You can't see anything. 419 00:29:39,620 --> 00:29:43,620 I look like that fucking freeze frame right there. 420 00:29:43,620 --> 00:29:45,620 I look like Hiroshima. It just fucking exploded. 421 00:29:45,620 --> 00:29:47,620 I'm saying 12 miles away. 422 00:29:47,620 --> 00:29:50,620 I'm about to be a shadow on somebody's dojo. 423 00:29:50,620 --> 00:29:52,620 Oh, shit. 424 00:29:52,620 --> 00:29:54,620 Holy shit. 425 00:29:54,620 --> 00:29:56,620 Brandon, please play the next one before I get in trouble. 426 00:29:56,620 --> 00:29:58,620 God damn. 427 00:29:58,620 --> 00:30:00,620 Play the next one. Oh, my goodness. 428 00:30:00,620 --> 00:30:02,620 It just went hard, boy. 429 00:30:02,620 --> 00:30:04,620 Damn. 430 00:30:04,620 --> 00:30:06,620 That was tough. 431 00:30:06,620 --> 00:30:08,620 I'm glad this wasn't the Alex episode. 432 00:30:08,620 --> 00:30:10,620 Yeah, OK. 433 00:30:10,620 --> 00:30:12,620 All right. 434 00:30:12,620 --> 00:30:15,620 Three, two, one, go. 435 00:30:15,620 --> 00:30:17,620 I like to hate things, too. 436 00:30:17,620 --> 00:30:19,620 But I hate things that are important. 437 00:30:19,620 --> 00:30:22,620 You know, like grown adults who chew with their mouth open? 438 00:30:22,620 --> 00:30:24,620 Tighten up, man. 439 00:30:24,620 --> 00:30:26,620 Tighten up. 440 00:30:26,620 --> 00:30:28,620 Or, stuck up dogs? 441 00:30:28,620 --> 00:30:30,620 Let me pet you. 442 00:30:35,620 --> 00:30:37,620 I hate you. 443 00:30:37,620 --> 00:30:41,620 I usually suck my shit off by telling you I'm black and suck some of the white. 444 00:30:41,620 --> 00:30:43,620 Because, you know, I know you can get it. 445 00:30:43,620 --> 00:30:45,620 That's the end of it. 446 00:30:45,620 --> 00:30:47,620 I thought that was hilarious. 447 00:30:47,620 --> 00:30:49,620 That you re- like re- because you do do that bit a lot. 448 00:30:49,620 --> 00:30:51,620 Like, if you open up with it. 449 00:30:51,620 --> 00:30:53,620 Oh, yeah. 450 00:30:53,620 --> 00:30:55,620 The half black, half white joke. 451 00:30:55,620 --> 00:30:57,620 I thought it was funny that you framed it like that in the middle of your shit. 452 00:30:57,620 --> 00:30:59,620 Because I've seen you do that joke so many times. 453 00:30:59,620 --> 00:31:01,620 You're just like, you say, uh, stuck up dog, you know, let me pet you. 454 00:31:01,620 --> 00:31:03,620 And then the crowd laughs and you're like, yeah, I usually start my set in the middle of your shit. 455 00:31:03,620 --> 00:31:07,620 In some sort of way. 456 00:31:07,620 --> 00:31:09,620 I thought that was really fucking funny. 457 00:31:09,620 --> 00:31:11,620 Yeah, because I get tired of, like, I didn't do the joke at Boxcar one night. 458 00:31:11,620 --> 00:31:13,620 And then this white dude, Machine Gun Kelly-like type white. 459 00:31:13,620 --> 00:31:15,620 You know, he thought he was good a little bit. 460 00:31:15,620 --> 00:31:17,620 I've heard you use this analogy before. 461 00:31:17,620 --> 00:31:19,620 Yeah, yeah, that's a good analogy. 462 00:31:19,620 --> 00:31:21,620 There's a lane. 463 00:31:21,620 --> 00:31:23,620 There's a lane for those type of whites. 464 00:31:23,620 --> 00:31:25,620 But, uh, he was like, uh, he was like, you don't, I had to tell the joke about something. 465 00:31:25,620 --> 00:31:27,620 He was like, I'm not gonna do that. 466 00:31:27,620 --> 00:31:29,620 I'm not gonna do that. 467 00:31:29,620 --> 00:31:31,620 I'm not gonna do that. 468 00:31:31,620 --> 00:31:33,620 I had told a joke about something. 469 00:31:33,620 --> 00:31:35,620 He was like, you don't look like a gangster. 470 00:31:35,620 --> 00:31:37,620 He's like, what are you? Mexican. 471 00:31:37,620 --> 00:31:39,620 He was like, he was wanting to know. 472 00:31:39,620 --> 00:31:41,620 He's like, Mexican, half black, black. 473 00:31:41,620 --> 00:31:43,620 He was like, he was like, hitting him with black. 474 00:31:43,620 --> 00:31:47,620 But, uh, but yeah, so I now when I go up there, I have to say, I feel like I have to address it. 475 00:31:47,620 --> 00:31:49,620 Because I hate doing the same jokes unless I'm on a show. 476 00:31:49,620 --> 00:31:51,620 Then, you know, I'm doing my best. 477 00:31:51,620 --> 00:31:53,620 But like, if I'm on an open mic, I don't like doing the same jokes. 478 00:31:53,620 --> 00:31:55,620 So I was trying to word it a different way. 479 00:31:55,620 --> 00:31:57,620 What I say I look like, I was like, yeah, I know it can be confusing. 480 00:31:57,620 --> 00:31:59,620 Because with this hair, I look like I got a little bit of a beard. 481 00:31:59,620 --> 00:32:03,620 But it can be confusing because with this hair, I look like I can dance reggaeton. 482 00:32:03,620 --> 00:32:07,620 Or, uh, I sell cigarettes at an off-brand gas station. 483 00:32:07,620 --> 00:32:09,620 Oh, yeah, that was funny. 484 00:32:09,620 --> 00:32:15,620 My favorite, the tag of like that joke is, uh, I look like I either own the gas station or I'm gonna rob it. 485 00:32:15,620 --> 00:32:17,620 Yeah, that's a way to answer. 486 00:32:17,620 --> 00:32:19,620 So true. 487 00:32:19,620 --> 00:32:21,620 I like the letter P, too, when you be like, I look like the letter P. 488 00:32:21,620 --> 00:32:23,620 That's good. 489 00:32:23,620 --> 00:32:25,620 I appreciate it. Yeah, I'm trying to work on. 490 00:32:25,620 --> 00:32:27,620 Now, when I'm going out to open mics, all new shit. 491 00:32:27,620 --> 00:32:31,620 I'm not, I mean, unless, unless we get a little crowd, I'll hit you with something. 492 00:32:31,620 --> 00:32:33,620 You know, we gotta start coming out. 493 00:32:33,620 --> 00:32:37,620 Yeah, the, uh, the Speakeasy mic's probably the best open mic in town right now. 494 00:32:37,620 --> 00:32:43,620 Because there's genuinely people there to see comedy that don't go out to the other mics. 495 00:32:43,620 --> 00:32:45,620 You know, it's like a real crowd. 496 00:32:45,620 --> 00:32:47,620 And it's like people are just there anyway. 497 00:32:47,620 --> 00:32:51,620 You know, in campus 805, and then they can just filter in. 498 00:32:51,620 --> 00:32:53,620 And it's always a good crowd. 499 00:32:53,620 --> 00:32:55,620 Oh, yeah. 500 00:32:55,620 --> 00:32:57,620 And if you're like, I'm gonna go out and somebody was doing a free comedy show. 501 00:32:57,620 --> 00:32:59,620 I mean, obviously, I'd probably be on the fucking, I'd be doing the mic. 502 00:32:59,620 --> 00:33:03,620 But if I was somewhere else and I wasn't in the comedy, they're doing a fucking open mic. 503 00:33:03,620 --> 00:33:05,620 Yeah, I'll watch. 504 00:33:05,620 --> 00:33:07,620 There's a chance somebody says something crazy. 505 00:33:07,620 --> 00:33:09,620 They get fucked up. 506 00:33:09,620 --> 00:33:11,620 It's like hockey. 507 00:33:11,620 --> 00:33:13,620 Oh, yeah, exactly. 508 00:33:13,620 --> 00:33:15,620 If you want to see that, go to the Boxcar, because there's no rules. 509 00:33:15,620 --> 00:33:19,620 Now, we should probably tell them like with each mic, Boxcar on Sundays. 510 00:33:19,620 --> 00:33:23,620 Boxcar is like the fucking drunk uncle of the open mic scene in comedy. 511 00:33:23,620 --> 00:33:29,620 You can say anything to him and he might agree with it or he might fucking hit you upside the head. 512 00:33:29,620 --> 00:33:31,620 You know, it could go either way. 513 00:33:31,620 --> 00:33:33,620 And then Cannabar. I like Cannabar. 514 00:33:33,620 --> 00:33:35,620 Yeah, Cannabar is good. 515 00:33:35,620 --> 00:33:37,620 Cannabar is like a stoner mic. 516 00:33:37,620 --> 00:33:39,620 Everybody's fucking high. 517 00:33:39,620 --> 00:33:43,620 Dante has given some legendary performances at the Cannabar, dude. 518 00:33:43,620 --> 00:33:45,620 Wait till you guys meet Dante. 519 00:33:45,620 --> 00:33:47,620 That's where the weed song originated. 520 00:33:47,620 --> 00:33:49,620 Shout out Dante Huff. 521 00:33:49,620 --> 00:33:51,620 Shout out Dante's weed song. 522 00:33:51,620 --> 00:33:57,620 Dante's on the veteran show, Fourth of July and December, produced by Carson Elmore. 523 00:33:57,620 --> 00:33:59,620 You'll see it at the Cannabar. 524 00:33:59,620 --> 00:34:01,620 Hell yeah. Come on down. I'm on there too. 525 00:34:01,620 --> 00:34:05,620 We got Dan Price, Ty Funny, Raina. 526 00:34:05,620 --> 00:34:07,620 Who else is on there? 527 00:34:07,620 --> 00:34:09,620 It was Andy. 528 00:34:09,620 --> 00:34:11,620 And Ash. 529 00:34:11,620 --> 00:34:13,620 Yeah, it should be a good show. 530 00:34:13,620 --> 00:34:15,620 Hell yeah. 531 00:34:15,620 --> 00:34:21,620 Come see me December 7th at the Silver Dollar Comedy Open Mic. 532 00:34:21,620 --> 00:34:23,620 Hell yeah, he's hosting. 533 00:34:23,620 --> 00:34:27,620 It's going to be a good one because he's going to have roasts for everybody. 534 00:34:27,620 --> 00:34:29,620 I'm already planning on it. 535 00:34:29,620 --> 00:34:31,620 I'll just write something for everybody, see who the fuck shows up, dude. 536 00:34:31,620 --> 00:34:33,620 It's going to be a good one too. 537 00:34:33,620 --> 00:34:35,620 That's the one most people come to. 538 00:34:35,620 --> 00:34:41,620 Yeah, but I do have to do Jonathan's job, which Jonathan does a lot in terms of promoting. 539 00:34:41,620 --> 00:34:45,620 I have to go grab people and seat them and shit. 540 00:34:45,620 --> 00:34:47,620 I have to be like a real fucking host, dude. 541 00:34:47,620 --> 00:34:49,620 That's good practice. 542 00:34:49,620 --> 00:34:51,620 You're going to be a host one day, man. 543 00:34:51,620 --> 00:34:55,620 I can't wait to see it because I missed the time you hosted on last week. 544 00:34:55,620 --> 00:35:01,620 That one was easier though because it's a show and some people are doing 10, 15 minutes and Jonathan does 30. 545 00:35:01,620 --> 00:35:07,620 The funniest part about when I hosted that was at the very end when Jonathan finished his set and said, 546 00:35:07,620 --> 00:35:11,620 I'm going to bring him back up your host, I was like, I got to go up there again. 547 00:35:11,620 --> 00:35:13,620 He was walking on the stage, I was like, what the fuck do I say? 548 00:35:13,620 --> 00:35:15,620 I don't know what to say. 549 00:35:15,620 --> 00:35:19,620 He's like, oh, the tip jar and thank you for coming out and everything. 550 00:35:19,620 --> 00:35:25,620 I went up there and he brings a hat, like an old school bowling hat. 551 00:35:25,620 --> 00:35:31,620 He gave it to me and I went up there and I'm like, all right, I'm about to beg you all for money now. 552 00:35:31,620 --> 00:35:35,620 Just held it out, nobody left. 553 00:35:35,620 --> 00:35:39,620 I was like, thanks for coming. 554 00:35:39,620 --> 00:36:07,620 I love you a lot.