WEBVTT 00:00:12.380 --> 00:00:16.500 So, another one of the questions that I decided 00:00:16.500 --> 00:00:19.019 to answer this, but I felt it was necessary. 00:00:20.859 --> 00:00:23.160 All of you aren't going to have experienced this. 00:00:23.660 --> 00:00:25.660 Some of you have, but all of us have experienced 00:00:25.660 --> 00:00:29.780 lost. But this question says, would God forgive? 00:00:30.350 --> 00:00:35.070 suicide. I personally have a number of friends 00:00:35.070 --> 00:00:38.950 that have lost their lives to suicide, and I 00:00:38.950 --> 00:00:42.310 have struggled my life with this very question. 00:00:43.649 --> 00:00:47.170 And the reason I invited the Alexanders up is 00:00:47.170 --> 00:00:50.549 because they have firsthand experience as suicide 00:00:50.549 --> 00:00:54.450 loss survivors. So Matt and Sarah, can you just 00:00:54.450 --> 00:00:57.509 share a little bit about your story with us today? 00:00:58.600 --> 00:01:01.439 Okay, so we have three wonderful children, Tyler, 00:01:01.560 --> 00:01:04.680 Aiden, and Ella. I could be up here all day talking 00:01:04.680 --> 00:01:06.799 about all the greatness, but today we're going 00:01:06.799 --> 00:01:08.939 to focus on my youngest son, Aiden, or our youngest 00:01:08.939 --> 00:01:12.359 son, Aiden. He was the kind of child who would 00:01:12.359 --> 00:01:14.920 just light up a room. He was funny, intelligent, 00:01:15.299 --> 00:01:21.599 athletic, empathetic. I can remember back to 00:01:21.599 --> 00:01:24.439 a story. He was 15. He got his learner's permit. 00:01:25.180 --> 00:01:28.180 We decided to take him to HCC. because there's 00:01:28.180 --> 00:01:30.620 no cars around, and that's what you need to do 00:01:30.620 --> 00:01:33.359 when the child's learning how to drive. And I 00:01:33.359 --> 00:01:37.799 remember him saying that, wow, this driving is 00:01:37.799 --> 00:01:42.400 a lot harder than it was on video games. Which 00:01:42.400 --> 00:01:46.239 worried me. So then one day we decided we were 00:01:46.239 --> 00:01:49.640 going to work on parking. And we were parking 00:01:49.640 --> 00:01:52.799 a very small car, mind you. But every time he'd 00:01:52.799 --> 00:01:54.400 try to park, I'd tell him to get out and look 00:01:54.400 --> 00:01:56.769 around, see if he did a good job. And he would 00:01:56.769 --> 00:01:58.750 get in a little discouraged every time, like, 00:01:58.870 --> 00:02:00.629 no, it wasn't good. He'd over -align, whatever. 00:02:02.129 --> 00:02:03.989 So then we kept doing that. Eventually, one time 00:02:03.989 --> 00:02:06.609 he parked, and he nailed it. I didn't let him 00:02:06.609 --> 00:02:09.270 know he nailed it yet, but he nailed it. And 00:02:09.270 --> 00:02:10.610 I said, go ahead and get out and take a look. 00:02:11.169 --> 00:02:14.229 And he comes back in the car with a grin from 00:02:14.229 --> 00:02:24.099 ear to ear and just goes, I did that. Unfortunately, 00:02:24.180 --> 00:02:27.800 on April 19th, 2021, Matt and I both received 00:02:27.800 --> 00:02:30.539 a phone call from my mom somewhere around 8 .30 00:02:30.539 --> 00:02:33.319 in the morning telling us, don't ask any questions, 00:02:33.460 --> 00:02:37.759 get in your car and come home right now. We did 00:02:37.759 --> 00:02:40.259 exactly that. And as Matt sped through every 00:02:40.259 --> 00:02:43.360 single red light in Hagerstown and I was driving 00:02:43.360 --> 00:02:48.199 120 miles an hour on I -70 East, we were able 00:02:48.199 --> 00:02:50.610 to figure out what happened. Our youngest son, 00:02:50.710 --> 00:02:53.729 Aiden, at the young age of 15, died from suicide 00:02:53.729 --> 00:02:59.270 at our home. I remember that drive very vividly, 00:02:59.270 --> 00:03:02.069 and the entire drive home, I remember begging 00:03:02.069 --> 00:03:14.349 and pleading, please, God, not my son, not my 00:03:14.349 --> 00:03:25.520 baby. Don't let this be true. Despite all of 00:03:25.520 --> 00:03:27.960 the amazingness Matt shared about Aiden, which 00:03:27.960 --> 00:03:31.099 is just the tip of the iceberg, unfortunately, 00:03:31.180 --> 00:03:33.639 there were people in his life, his classmates, 00:03:33.960 --> 00:03:38.099 his teammates, who made him question his value, 00:03:38.159 --> 00:03:42.479 who made them question his amazingness, and ultimately, 00:03:42.479 --> 00:03:45.300 it skewed his lens and contributed to his decision. 00:03:45.840 --> 00:03:50.039 The ripples that got created on April 19th shattered 00:03:50.039 --> 00:03:53.719 our innocence. rearranged our entire lives in 00:03:53.719 --> 00:03:57.560 ways we never could have imagined, and has changed 00:03:57.560 --> 00:04:02.620 the trajectory of the lives we live today. I 00:04:02.620 --> 00:04:06.860 want to pause here. Many of us have had similar 00:04:06.860 --> 00:04:11.060 thoughts in our life, but if you personally are 00:04:11.060 --> 00:04:14.020 dealing with thoughts of what it would be like 00:04:14.020 --> 00:04:17.759 if I wasn't around, I want you to not believe 00:04:17.759 --> 00:04:20.920 any of the lies and understand that I love you. 00:04:21.680 --> 00:04:24.740 We love you. But more importantly, God wants 00:04:24.740 --> 00:04:30.779 you to have the best because he loves you. So, 00:04:30.779 --> 00:04:33.740 guys, what would you say to somebody that's going 00:04:33.740 --> 00:04:39.220 through this or maybe a similar season? So, I 00:04:39.220 --> 00:04:43.300 will say from firsthand experience that you're 00:04:43.300 --> 00:04:45.339 going to want to give up. Those thoughts are 00:04:45.339 --> 00:04:47.920 understanding. Rudy stole my thunder a little 00:04:47.920 --> 00:04:49.560 bit. I was going to change my speech a little 00:04:49.560 --> 00:04:52.310 bit. I love you, and more importantly, God loves 00:04:52.310 --> 00:04:57.689 you. So don't do that. I would tell others that, 00:04:57.730 --> 00:05:02.670 yeah, this sucks. It's more devastating than 00:05:02.670 --> 00:05:06.949 anybody could ever imagine. It doesn't make sense. 00:05:07.009 --> 00:05:10.009 I don't know why. I might likely never know why. 00:05:11.149 --> 00:05:13.750 As humans, we have a tendency to withdraw inside 00:05:13.750 --> 00:05:16.629 of ourselves, and that's what I, what Matt and 00:05:16.629 --> 00:05:21.300 I did for now five years. We still find ourselves 00:05:21.300 --> 00:05:23.699 doing it today. We try really hard not to, but 00:05:23.699 --> 00:05:26.980 we recognize it. I'd also say that while, yes, 00:05:27.040 --> 00:05:30.199 this is really hard, and yes, it sucks, that 00:05:30.199 --> 00:05:32.879 we have to just keep going, even if it's just 00:05:32.879 --> 00:05:36.139 one breath at a time, one second at a time. We 00:05:36.139 --> 00:05:38.139 just have to keep putting one foot in front of 00:05:38.139 --> 00:05:51.459 the other. So, did you do it alone? No, you cannot 00:05:51.459 --> 00:05:55.399 do it by yourself. I'm going to steal Sarah's 00:05:55.399 --> 00:05:58.319 thunder here. We had to do it together, but more 00:05:58.319 --> 00:06:02.379 importantly, we had to do it with God. It took 00:06:02.379 --> 00:06:05.019 about three years after Aiden's death before 00:06:05.019 --> 00:06:08.699 Matt and I invited God onto this journey with 00:06:08.699 --> 00:06:12.279 us, and I can honestly say until that happened, 00:06:12.319 --> 00:06:15.720 we did not actually feel any real healing. We 00:06:15.720 --> 00:06:18.019 were stuck where we were, and God is the one 00:06:18.019 --> 00:06:21.029 who has gotten us through it. So you said doing 00:06:21.029 --> 00:06:22.949 it together, and that's something we're going 00:06:22.949 --> 00:06:25.329 to come back to when we get to the action steps. 00:06:25.529 --> 00:06:28.250 But I want to take a moment to answer the question, 00:06:28.470 --> 00:06:31.750 will God forgive it? And I want to answer it 00:06:31.750 --> 00:06:36.410 this way. Remember, there isn't any work or act 00:06:36.410 --> 00:06:40.350 that you can do that gets you into heaven. There 00:06:40.350 --> 00:06:42.430 isn't any work or act that you can do that keeps 00:06:42.430 --> 00:06:46.129 you out of heaven. The work was paid for by the 00:06:46.129 --> 00:06:50.889 sacrifice Jesus made on the cross. What gets 00:06:50.889 --> 00:06:54.329 you into heaven? The one thing you can do is 00:06:54.329 --> 00:06:59.230 accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior. What keeps 00:06:59.230 --> 00:07:05.730 you out of heaven is rejecting Jesus. Since we 00:07:05.730 --> 00:07:08.490 are covered by the blood of Jesus, our ticket 00:07:08.490 --> 00:07:11.449 was stamped the day we truly invited Him into 00:07:11.449 --> 00:07:15.949 our hearts as our Savior. I don't believe suicide 00:07:15.949 --> 00:07:19.480 is a determining factor. to getting you into 00:07:19.480 --> 00:07:23.500 heaven. I believe it has to do with accepting 00:07:23.500 --> 00:07:28.279 Jesus. That's the determining factor. So Sarah, 00:07:28.319 --> 00:07:30.579 in our conversations over the past couple years, 00:07:30.699 --> 00:07:34.060 I've used the word committed suicide. And a couple 00:07:34.060 --> 00:07:37.220 weeks ago when we met, you gently corrected me. 00:07:38.079 --> 00:07:40.439 So if you would, could you just share with us, 00:07:40.480 --> 00:07:44.290 everyone else, what you shared with me? Yeah, 00:07:44.310 --> 00:07:46.610 when we refer to the cause of someone's death, 00:07:46.750 --> 00:07:49.089 we don't say they committed a heart attack, they 00:07:49.089 --> 00:07:51.949 committed cancer, they committed kidney disease, 00:07:52.089 --> 00:07:53.990 because it's not something that they did. It's 00:07:53.990 --> 00:07:56.730 something that has happened to them. And so when 00:07:56.730 --> 00:08:00.449 we use that term committed in reference to suicide, 00:08:00.550 --> 00:08:03.649 what we're doing is we're alluding that the person 00:08:03.649 --> 00:08:07.410 who died from suicide committed a crime or a 00:08:07.410 --> 00:08:10.370 sin and they didn't. What actually ends up happening 00:08:10.370 --> 00:08:13.769 is suicide is the result from an illness. It's 00:08:13.769 --> 00:08:16.529 a result from mental illness. Just like heart 00:08:16.529 --> 00:08:20.170 disease, just like cancer, mental illness is 00:08:20.170 --> 00:08:25.550 also a real disease. So I want to look at 1 Corinthians 00:08:25.550 --> 00:08:29.410 and Paul's first letter. In chapter 10, it says, 00:08:29.509 --> 00:08:32.490 No temptation has ever overtaken you that is 00:08:32.490 --> 00:08:35.789 not common to man, meaning others have already 00:08:35.789 --> 00:08:39.240 lived what you are living. And after you, others 00:08:39.240 --> 00:08:42.419 will continue to live similar seasons. But God 00:08:42.419 --> 00:08:44.200 has faith when he will not let you be tempted 00:08:44.200 --> 00:08:46.919 beyond your ability. But with the temptation, 00:08:46.919 --> 00:08:51.179 he will also provide the way of escape that you 00:08:51.179 --> 00:08:53.720 may be able to enjoy it. You know, another phrase 00:08:53.720 --> 00:08:55.779 that I'm not a fan of is, God will never give 00:08:55.779 --> 00:08:59.500 you more than you can handle. It's false. Even 00:08:59.500 --> 00:09:02.779 though I just read that scripture, it's not true. 00:09:02.879 --> 00:09:05.919 It's 100 % lies. Because it's only half truth. 00:09:06.860 --> 00:09:09.700 I know plenty of times in my life, God has given 00:09:09.700 --> 00:09:16.279 me more than I can handle. The scripture says 00:09:16.279 --> 00:09:18.379 he will provide the way of escape that you may 00:09:18.379 --> 00:09:24.539 be able to endure it. Ultimately, the full truth, 00:09:24.840 --> 00:09:27.059 God will not give you more than you can handle 00:09:27.059 --> 00:09:30.860 as long as you rely on the Holy Spirit to comfort 00:09:30.860 --> 00:09:34.159 and guide you. So ultimately, I can't tell you 00:09:34.159 --> 00:09:39.110 why God separates some. or relieves some suffering 00:09:39.110 --> 00:09:41.250 from people and allows others suffering from 00:09:41.250 --> 00:09:45.149 others. But I do know that God makes a promise 00:09:45.149 --> 00:09:48.169 for suffering. So I want to tell you a quick 00:09:48.169 --> 00:09:50.129 story, another car maintenance story. No, it 00:09:50.129 --> 00:09:55.049 is not changing a tire. I needed to change my 00:09:55.049 --> 00:09:56.649 windshield wipers a couple months ago, so I went 00:09:56.649 --> 00:09:59.669 to Sands and I got these windshield wipers, right? 00:10:00.389 --> 00:10:03.950 I didn't need the instruction because I've changed 00:10:03.950 --> 00:10:07.100 them dozens of times. I didn't need the instructions 00:10:07.100 --> 00:10:13.639 because I'm a man. But the next time it rained, 00:10:13.679 --> 00:10:16.679 after I changed, the next time it rained, I noticed 00:10:16.679 --> 00:10:21.340 my windows were blurry. But it stopped raining, 00:10:21.360 --> 00:10:25.519 and my windows cleared up, so I drove on. Then 00:10:25.519 --> 00:10:27.080 a couple weeks later, I was driving down the 00:10:27.080 --> 00:10:30.799 Falling Waters, and it's blurry again. And as 00:10:30.799 --> 00:10:32.580 I'm driving home from Falling Waters, one of 00:10:32.580 --> 00:10:36.100 the blades just starts breaking off. As I'm crossing 00:10:36.100 --> 00:10:39.500 the river, it flies off. Like I'm going to Sam's 00:10:39.500 --> 00:10:43.440 and returning this thing. And then before I got 00:10:43.440 --> 00:10:45.840 off the interstate, I look over and noticed that 00:10:45.840 --> 00:10:48.120 the passenger side where it fell off was actually 00:10:48.120 --> 00:10:52.419 clear. But the driver's side, can you pick that 00:10:52.419 --> 00:10:56.539 up, man? The driver's side wasn't. Because I 00:10:56.539 --> 00:10:59.179 didn't read the directions. I didn't have all 00:10:59.179 --> 00:11:02.539 the information. That thing was put there to 00:11:02.539 --> 00:11:08.850 protect. The windshield wipers. Know this. God 00:11:08.850 --> 00:11:11.870 puts things in your life to protect you that 00:11:11.870 --> 00:11:15.149 you might not all have the wisdom or understanding. 00:11:15.970 --> 00:11:21.649 But the protections are still there. Now, again, 00:11:21.830 --> 00:11:24.649 I can't tell you why he allows suffering. But 00:11:24.649 --> 00:11:28.950 I can tell you that he provides a promise. And 00:11:28.950 --> 00:11:31.419 I want to read a poem for you. It's one of my 00:11:31.419 --> 00:11:33.259 favorite poems. It's by a woman named Annie Johnson 00:11:33.259 --> 00:11:36.820 Flint. It says this. God has not promised. Sky 00:11:36.820 --> 00:11:40.679 is always blue. Flowers turn pathways all our 00:11:40.679 --> 00:11:44.820 lives through. God has not promised sun without 00:11:44.820 --> 00:11:49.320 rain, joy without sorrow, peace without pain. 00:11:50.440 --> 00:11:53.700 But God has promised strength for the day, rest 00:11:53.700 --> 00:11:57.379 for the labor, light for the way. Grace for the 00:11:57.379 --> 00:12:00.330 trials, help from above. unfailing kindness, 00:12:00.629 --> 00:12:05.490 undying love. It's not about why God allows suffering. 00:12:05.649 --> 00:12:09.470 It's about the promises that God gives us. So 00:12:09.470 --> 00:12:12.409 we want to take today's action steps and walk 00:12:12.409 --> 00:12:15.429 you through how you can remember God's promises 00:12:15.429 --> 00:12:18.049 through the suffering. Because you never have 00:12:18.049 --> 00:12:21.769 to walk alone. The first action step, you need 00:12:21.769 --> 00:12:25.330 to embrace your grief. And your grief doesn't 00:12:25.330 --> 00:12:27.809 have to be something big. something dire, something 00:12:27.809 --> 00:12:30.350 as grave as what we're talking about. It may 00:12:30.350 --> 00:12:33.649 be you leave a job and go to another job. I know 00:12:33.649 --> 00:12:37.629 that I had to grieve giving up teaching when 00:12:37.629 --> 00:12:41.570 I became a pastor. It may be moving out of the 00:12:41.570 --> 00:12:43.850 house that you brought your babies home to and 00:12:43.850 --> 00:12:46.490 raised them in, even if it's a bigger, better 00:12:46.490 --> 00:12:50.730 house. But there's a promise that God gave us 00:12:50.730 --> 00:12:54.250 in the Beatitudes, Matthew 5, that says, blessed 00:12:54.250 --> 00:12:56.940 are those who mourn. for they will be comforted. 00:12:57.899 --> 00:13:00.000 And if you hear nothing else today, hear this. 00:13:01.960 --> 00:13:08.360 Grief is a word of love. Loss of anything puts 00:13:08.360 --> 00:13:11.820 a huge wall in front of us. But God provides 00:13:11.820 --> 00:13:16.600 a gate of grief for us to walk through. And most 00:13:16.600 --> 00:13:20.019 of us do our best to avoid that gate at all costs. 00:13:20.960 --> 00:13:23.950 But no, you can't walk around the wall. and no, 00:13:24.029 --> 00:13:26.549 you can't get over or underneath the wall. The 00:13:26.549 --> 00:13:31.190 only way to get healing is to walk through the 00:13:31.190 --> 00:13:35.029 gate of grief. But once you decide to open the 00:13:35.029 --> 00:13:38.669 gate, you will find that God is there with you, 00:13:38.750 --> 00:13:43.629 and not only will he let you through, and also 00:13:43.629 --> 00:13:47.289 understand that joy and grief, they can coexist. 00:13:49.190 --> 00:13:52.289 So quickly, Matt, Sarah, can you talk about how 00:13:52.730 --> 00:13:55.529 you have been able in your lives to embrace the 00:13:55.529 --> 00:13:58.350 grief. Yeah, so embracing grief was difficult. 00:13:58.549 --> 00:14:00.750 I was searching for answers on how to exist without 00:14:00.750 --> 00:14:05.450 my son, reasons to keep going. And then through 00:14:05.450 --> 00:14:07.409 God and through this community of faith, I realized 00:14:07.409 --> 00:14:11.549 that grief is, this is going to sound really 00:14:11.549 --> 00:14:14.149 weird, but it's a good thing. And the fact that 00:14:14.149 --> 00:14:16.750 you only grieve things that you really loved. 00:14:17.070 --> 00:14:19.870 And the more you loved, the more you will grieve. 00:14:19.950 --> 00:14:23.620 So just keep that in mind. After Aiden died, 00:14:23.659 --> 00:14:25.340 I struggled with God. If I'm being completely 00:14:25.340 --> 00:14:28.019 honest, I pushed him away. I couldn't understand 00:14:28.019 --> 00:14:32.299 why Aiden, why us, why didn't he do something 00:14:32.299 --> 00:14:35.299 to save Aiden? How dare he take my child away 00:14:35.299 --> 00:14:38.440 from me? How dare he call my child home early 00:14:38.440 --> 00:14:40.919 when I knew he had so much life left to live 00:14:40.919 --> 00:14:43.639 and how amazing his life was actually going to 00:14:43.639 --> 00:14:47.080 be? But then about three years in, we have some 00:14:47.080 --> 00:14:50.019 really good friends who said to us, hey, we go 00:14:50.019 --> 00:14:54.919 to this church. It's kind of hippie, but we think 00:14:54.919 --> 00:14:57.240 you might like it. Will you come with us? And 00:14:57.240 --> 00:14:59.360 we said, absolutely. And so we did. We came, 00:14:59.419 --> 00:15:02.100 and look, we're still here. We fell in love immediately, 00:15:02.279 --> 00:15:05.460 and we realized without God, without our church, 00:15:05.620 --> 00:15:08.519 without our faith, without our community, we 00:15:08.519 --> 00:15:10.659 would have continued to feel lost, and our healing 00:15:10.659 --> 00:15:19.019 would have never been able to begin. Which leads 00:15:19.019 --> 00:15:23.370 us to our next point. Don't walk alone. Get an 00:15:23.370 --> 00:15:27.789 ally. Get a friend. But first, part of that goes 00:15:27.789 --> 00:15:32.029 to you and me. We need to be a friend who recognizes 00:15:32.029 --> 00:15:37.629 the grief in others. Matt, Sarah? Yeah, so if 00:15:37.629 --> 00:15:40.029 you know someone going through grief or just 00:15:40.029 --> 00:15:44.509 plain needs help, a lot of tendencies is asking, 00:15:44.629 --> 00:15:46.409 you know, what can I do for you? Is there anything 00:15:46.409 --> 00:15:48.190 you need? Please let me know if you need anything. 00:15:48.600 --> 00:15:50.360 I can tell you firsthand they're not going to 00:15:50.360 --> 00:15:53.519 ask. You just need to do it. It could be mowing 00:15:53.519 --> 00:15:56.799 the lawn. It could be a hug. It could just be 00:15:56.799 --> 00:16:00.820 saying, I'm here. Two days after Aiden's death, 00:16:00.940 --> 00:16:03.340 my best friend just showed up at our door unannounced. 00:16:03.820 --> 00:16:06.159 We had family in town. We had just made plans. 00:16:06.320 --> 00:16:07.879 We were going to place a to -go order at Buffalo 00:16:07.879 --> 00:16:10.000 Wild Wings. We were all excited because we hadn't 00:16:10.000 --> 00:16:12.840 really eaten in two days. And she shows up with 00:16:12.840 --> 00:16:16.419 Kentucky Fried Chicken. She didn't know what 00:16:16.419 --> 00:16:19.159 to do, but she knew she could feed us. And what 00:16:19.159 --> 00:16:21.399 I can tell you is that during those early days 00:16:21.399 --> 00:16:24.919 of our grief, you really do forget how to live. 00:16:25.179 --> 00:16:28.200 If breathing wasn't automatic, I know for a fact 00:16:28.200 --> 00:16:30.539 that there would have been many, many times where 00:16:30.539 --> 00:16:32.279 I would have forgotten to simply do that, just 00:16:32.279 --> 00:16:37.419 breathe. Ecclesiastes 4, 9 and 10. Two people 00:16:37.419 --> 00:16:39.659 are better off than one, for they can help each 00:16:39.659 --> 00:16:43.059 other succeed. If one person fails, the other 00:16:43.059 --> 00:16:45.679 can reach out and help. But someone who falls 00:16:45.679 --> 00:16:50.100 alone is in real trouble. Get a mentor. Get a 00:16:50.100 --> 00:16:53.279 confidant. Get in a growth group. We're going 00:16:53.279 --> 00:16:54.840 to have a tailgate party in a couple weeks. There's 00:16:54.840 --> 00:16:57.460 over 30 groups in this church, one of which is 00:16:57.460 --> 00:17:01.759 called Grief Share. Reach out and get prayer 00:17:01.759 --> 00:17:08.799 ministry. Find a trained therapist. I see a therapist. 00:17:10.259 --> 00:17:12.859 It doesn't mean you're weak if you get a therapist. 00:17:13.500 --> 00:17:15.660 The strong people are the ones who decide to 00:17:15.660 --> 00:17:18.640 reach out and talk to someone. And I'm not advocating 00:17:18.640 --> 00:17:21.839 for medication, but maybe medicine is part of 00:17:21.839 --> 00:17:25.420 your answer. I take anti -anxiety and anti -depressants. 00:17:28.720 --> 00:17:30.940 But understand this. You need to pray like it 00:17:30.940 --> 00:17:34.059 depends on God, but you need to put in the work 00:17:34.059 --> 00:17:37.299 like it depends on you. And part of that includes 00:17:37.299 --> 00:17:40.240 reaching out to your community. And the other 00:17:40.240 --> 00:17:42.779 thing it includes is our last action step. Use 00:17:42.779 --> 00:17:47.680 your story. Psalm 66 tells this in verse 13. 00:17:47.920 --> 00:17:51.279 Come and listen, all who fear God, and I will 00:17:51.279 --> 00:17:53.640 tell you what he did for me. Tell people what 00:17:53.640 --> 00:17:57.819 he did for you. But God did listen. He paid attention 00:17:57.819 --> 00:18:01.220 to my prayer. Praise God who did not ignore my 00:18:01.220 --> 00:18:03.400 prayer or withdraw his unfailing love from me. 00:18:05.339 --> 00:18:10.700 Telling your story is part of your healing. So 00:18:10.700 --> 00:18:13.259 Matt and Sarah, how has embracing your grief 00:18:13.259 --> 00:18:17.099 by sharing your story helps you heal? Aiden passed 00:18:17.099 --> 00:18:20.279 away on a Monday and Wednesday morning when I 00:18:20.279 --> 00:18:22.559 got out of bed, I knew immediately that we were 00:18:22.559 --> 00:18:25.019 going to start a nonprofit organization in Aiden's 00:18:25.019 --> 00:18:27.500 memory. And that foundation gave me a way to 00:18:27.500 --> 00:18:30.700 continue to love Aiden out loud and share his 00:18:30.700 --> 00:18:32.880 amazing story and life with as many people as 00:18:32.880 --> 00:18:35.480 possible. And ultimately introducing Aiden to 00:18:35.480 --> 00:18:37.240 people who haven't had the pleasure of meeting 00:18:37.240 --> 00:18:40.559 him. has been incredibly healing and has actually 00:18:40.559 --> 00:18:43.539 filled some of the fractures in my heart. Yeah, 00:18:43.579 --> 00:18:48.299 we initially need the foundation to pour ourselves 00:18:48.299 --> 00:18:50.680 into something, to keep us busy, keep our minds 00:18:50.680 --> 00:18:54.000 occupied. As we continue to do that, people would 00:18:54.000 --> 00:18:56.039 reach out to us saying, thank you for doing this. 00:18:56.440 --> 00:18:59.480 You've touched my heart. You've helped me. Some 00:18:59.480 --> 00:19:01.599 of it's been as simple as I've asked my kids 00:19:01.599 --> 00:19:03.519 the hard question of, how are you really doing? 00:19:04.940 --> 00:19:07.220 I'll say for as many people as we've helped, 00:19:07.819 --> 00:19:10.519 They've also helped us. It's just as healing 00:19:10.519 --> 00:19:14.000 for us and sometimes very much enjoyable for 00:19:14.000 --> 00:19:17.559 us to talk about him. So it's not a one -way 00:19:17.559 --> 00:19:20.240 street. You may be helping someone, but they 00:19:20.240 --> 00:19:24.119 also may be helping you. So tell your story. 00:19:24.799 --> 00:19:26.880 Even if you've lived a perfect life all your 00:19:26.880 --> 00:19:29.400 life, come tell me your story so I can figure 00:19:29.400 --> 00:19:32.740 out how to do that. But understand that your 00:19:32.740 --> 00:19:35.299 story, like Matt said, it might help someone 00:19:35.299 --> 00:19:38.710 else heal or grow. or walk through the season 00:19:38.710 --> 00:19:39.170 at the ring.