WEBVTT 00:00:09.400 --> 00:00:12.660 We are so glad you're here. Whether you're listening 00:00:12.660 --> 00:00:15.460 on your morning commute, at the gym, or relaxing 00:00:15.460 --> 00:00:18.120 with a cup of coffee, thanks for spending part 00:00:18.120 --> 00:00:20.960 of your day with us. If today's message encourages 00:00:20.960 --> 00:00:23.559 you and you'd like to get connected with everything 00:00:23.559 --> 00:00:26.539 happening at Hub City Vineyard, head over to 00:00:26.539 --> 00:00:30.719 htv .church slash connect. We'd love to meet 00:00:30.719 --> 00:00:33.420 you and help you find your place here. Want to 00:00:33.420 --> 00:00:35.859 know what's coming up, discover ways to serve, 00:00:36.000 --> 00:00:38.960 or stay in the loop on upcoming events? Check 00:00:38.960 --> 00:00:43.200 out hcv .church slash what's up for everything 00:00:43.200 --> 00:00:47.039 happening around HCV. Now turn it up, lean in, 00:00:47.140 --> 00:00:49.200 and get ready for what God has for you today. 00:00:49.380 --> 00:00:52.280 We hope this message encourages you, challenges 00:00:52.280 --> 00:00:54.640 you, and reminds you that you are deeply loved. 00:00:54.960 --> 00:00:58.950 Now, let's hear the message. How you guys doing 00:00:58.950 --> 00:01:05.569 today? Are you ready? For those of you who thought 00:01:05.569 --> 00:01:07.890 it'd be Chris again this week, sorry about your 00:01:07.890 --> 00:01:11.150 luck. You're stuck with me. They are home, they're 00:01:11.150 --> 00:01:14.049 rested up, and at some point this week they'll 00:01:14.049 --> 00:01:16.430 start working again. Although I think Chris worked 00:01:16.430 --> 00:01:21.250 the whole three weeks he was off. If this is 00:01:21.250 --> 00:01:24.310 your first time here, man, I'm so glad to have 00:01:24.310 --> 00:01:25.969 you here. If you've been here a million times, 00:01:26.650 --> 00:01:30.890 Welcome back. Let me start by just shouting out 00:01:30.890 --> 00:01:33.769 a couple people. Stephen did a message two weeks 00:01:33.769 --> 00:01:40.969 ago, and he knocked it out of the park. Just 00:01:40.969 --> 00:01:43.769 talking about disabilities and how we all have 00:01:43.769 --> 00:01:46.569 purpose in our disabilities, it's no wonder our 00:01:46.569 --> 00:01:50.590 youth love him as much as they do. And then last 00:01:50.590 --> 00:01:53.310 week, of course, Rhett and Carl, when Carrie 00:01:53.310 --> 00:01:54.829 and I walked out the door, I was like, man, wasn't 00:01:54.829 --> 00:01:56.840 that a good message? And she was like, What'd 00:01:56.840 --> 00:02:03.659 you expect? It was written Carl. So today I'm 00:02:03.659 --> 00:02:05.239 going to up the ante a little bit. I'm going 00:02:05.239 --> 00:02:08.960 to answer like 15 of your questions. So we got 00:02:08.960 --> 00:02:13.060 to get moving, right? But if this is the first 00:02:13.060 --> 00:02:14.460 time you choose to be here, I'm going to apologize 00:02:14.460 --> 00:02:18.159 for this next sentence, okay? In all seriousness, 00:02:18.400 --> 00:02:20.639 we're going to have a little bit of fun, but 00:02:20.639 --> 00:02:24.000 later in the message, some of the answers to 00:02:24.000 --> 00:02:26.280 the questions that were asked. are going to get 00:02:26.280 --> 00:02:28.879 a little deep. So there may be some triggering. 00:02:29.620 --> 00:02:31.740 And if you feel triggered by anything that we 00:02:31.740 --> 00:02:33.879 talk about and you need to step out into the 00:02:33.879 --> 00:02:35.639 cafe, there are people out there that can pray 00:02:35.639 --> 00:02:38.379 for you. I want you to understand when we answer 00:02:38.379 --> 00:02:43.000 the question, why God, why, that we don't always 00:02:43.000 --> 00:02:45.560 like the answers. So just keep that in mind. 00:02:45.840 --> 00:02:49.159 I will not hold it against you. But hopefully 00:02:49.159 --> 00:02:51.599 it will also make you laugh and just engage you 00:02:51.599 --> 00:02:55.419 in a message. That said, if we're going to go 00:02:55.419 --> 00:02:59.740 that deep, we should probably invite the man 00:02:59.740 --> 00:03:04.300 to do it with us. Come Holy Spirit. God, let 00:03:04.300 --> 00:03:06.680 me just start by saying thank you for our students 00:03:06.680 --> 00:03:10.180 and our teachers. I just pray for each and every 00:03:10.180 --> 00:03:13.439 staff member in this county. I pray for each 00:03:13.439 --> 00:03:16.280 and every student in this county. God, make connections 00:03:16.280 --> 00:03:20.259 between students and teachers. God, I pray for 00:03:20.259 --> 00:03:23.400 our athletes and their coaches. I pray for our 00:03:23.400 --> 00:03:26.400 musicians and the artists and the music directors 00:03:26.400 --> 00:03:30.360 in this county. That they can go out and just 00:03:30.360 --> 00:03:34.479 perform and continue to learn and grow. God, 00:03:34.500 --> 00:03:36.699 I just thank you for each and every staff member. 00:03:37.120 --> 00:03:42.460 Whether they're at CES or they're cleaning up 00:03:42.460 --> 00:03:46.159 trash after our kids, guys. I just ask you to 00:03:46.159 --> 00:03:48.840 bless them with a good year. And for those... 00:03:49.120 --> 00:03:51.680 People in here that have a knucklehead 13 -year 00:03:51.680 --> 00:03:57.960 -old God, help the parents make it through. But 00:03:57.960 --> 00:04:00.000 God, I ask that you just take this next hour 00:04:00.000 --> 00:04:06.699 of time and just truly touch hearts. Penetrate 00:04:06.699 --> 00:04:10.419 on these tough topics that we're about to walk 00:04:10.419 --> 00:04:15.539 through. And give us grace and mercy. But let 00:04:15.539 --> 00:04:18.540 us remember. That you've made promises and we 00:04:18.540 --> 00:04:22.120 can lean on those promises. I say that in the 00:04:22.120 --> 00:04:27.060 name of Jesus. Amen. All right. So, there's going 00:04:27.060 --> 00:04:29.620 to be a teaching lesson. You're going to ask 00:04:29.620 --> 00:04:31.759 questions, I'm going to answer. Hopefully, unlike 00:04:31.759 --> 00:04:34.319 my math students, you'd listen to my answer. 00:04:36.959 --> 00:04:42.420 So, I thought I had this queued up. I want to 00:04:42.420 --> 00:04:44.240 start with this first question that was submitted. 00:04:45.379 --> 00:04:48.259 Because I believe this, the answer sets up the 00:04:48.259 --> 00:04:51.339 whole rest of the discussion. And the question 00:04:51.339 --> 00:04:54.939 was this. How did Lucifer and the falling angel 00:04:54.939 --> 00:04:58.620 sin and fall from glory when there's no sin in 00:04:58.620 --> 00:05:05.300 heaven? Good one, right? So let me take you right 00:05:05.300 --> 00:05:09.079 to Job 38. God's talking to Job and he says this 00:05:09.079 --> 00:05:12.339 to Job. Where were you, Job, when I laid the 00:05:12.339 --> 00:05:15.310 foundation of the earth? Tell me if you have 00:05:15.310 --> 00:05:18.269 understanding. I want to pause there because 00:05:18.269 --> 00:05:21.529 this is just a reminder to you and me that we're 00:05:21.529 --> 00:05:23.069 not always going to have full understanding. 00:05:24.269 --> 00:05:26.629 We're not always going to understand God's way. 00:05:27.209 --> 00:05:30.269 And sadly, we won't always have all the answers. 00:05:31.930 --> 00:05:35.889 Continuing in verse 5, God says, but wait, Job, 00:05:36.009 --> 00:05:39.730 who determined the universe measurements? Surely 00:05:39.730 --> 00:05:43.370 you know. Or who stretched the line upon it? 00:05:43.689 --> 00:05:48.870 On what worse basis sunk? Or who laid its cornerstone? 00:05:49.649 --> 00:05:52.850 When the morning stars sang together and the 00:05:52.850 --> 00:05:57.430 sons of God shouted for joy. Now, a couple of 00:05:57.430 --> 00:05:59.790 Hebrew phrases in there that I want to talk about. 00:06:00.029 --> 00:06:05.449 Boker kob kob. Sure, I butchered it. That means, 00:06:05.449 --> 00:06:10.439 translates directly into the morning stars. Which 00:06:10.439 --> 00:06:12.240 you just heard. And then the other phrase is 00:06:12.240 --> 00:06:16.839 Ben Elohim. Which generally just means the sons 00:06:16.839 --> 00:06:21.339 of God. So in Old Testament times, those words 00:06:21.339 --> 00:06:25.199 referred to the angels. Right? The angels were 00:06:25.199 --> 00:06:29.939 created by God. And they celebrated God. We know. 00:06:30.019 --> 00:06:33.860 So they obviously were here created before the 00:06:33.860 --> 00:06:38.500 beginning of creation. Okay? Their whole purpose. 00:06:39.000 --> 00:06:41.819 was to celebrate and worship and praise God's 00:06:41.819 --> 00:06:47.699 name. But then in Isaiah 14, we read this of 00:06:47.699 --> 00:06:52.199 Satan. Verse 12 says, How are you fallen from 00:06:52.199 --> 00:06:55.920 heaven, O day star, son of God, son of dawn? 00:06:56.759 --> 00:07:00.300 How are you cut down to the ground, you who laid 00:07:00.300 --> 00:07:04.240 the nations low? You said in your heart, I will 00:07:04.240 --> 00:07:10.410 ascend to heaven above the stars of God. At some 00:07:10.410 --> 00:07:15.410 point before the garden, Lucifer fell from grace. 00:07:16.569 --> 00:07:20.329 Why? Because angels, like humans, were all given 00:07:20.329 --> 00:07:24.709 free will. We were given gifts and talents, and 00:07:24.709 --> 00:07:29.269 God allows us to use those as we choose. Lucifer 00:07:29.269 --> 00:07:31.910 himself was given gifts. He was the most beautiful 00:07:31.910 --> 00:07:35.269 angel. He was the leader of the heavenly worship 00:07:35.269 --> 00:07:41.160 team. God didn't tell him how to worship. He 00:07:41.160 --> 00:07:45.560 just gave him the ability to worship. So in Ezekiel 00:07:45.560 --> 00:07:49.259 28 and verse 12, this is what we read. You were 00:07:49.259 --> 00:07:52.540 the model of perfection, full of wisdom and exquisite 00:07:52.540 --> 00:07:57.199 in beauty. You who were in Eden, the garden of 00:07:57.199 --> 00:08:00.500 God. Your clothing was adorned with every precious 00:08:00.500 --> 00:08:02.920 stone. And then it lists everyone, and I'm not 00:08:02.920 --> 00:08:06.019 going to list them. All those stones were beautifully 00:08:06.019 --> 00:08:09.819 crafted for you and set in the finest gold. They 00:08:09.819 --> 00:08:12.759 were given to you on the day you were created. 00:08:13.899 --> 00:08:18.199 Now this describes the king of Tyre, but many 00:08:18.199 --> 00:08:21.259 theologians believe that it also alludes to Lucifer. 00:08:22.560 --> 00:08:27.720 The name Lucifer literally translates to light 00:08:27.720 --> 00:08:32.399 bearer because Lucifer was meant to be the light 00:08:32.399 --> 00:08:39.529 of God. But then, in verse 17, we read about 00:08:39.529 --> 00:09:03.779 Lucifer's fall from grace. which is the same 00:09:03.779 --> 00:09:10.679 word in Hebrew, means accuser or adversary. Lucifer 00:09:10.679 --> 00:09:15.159 was stripped of his identity and became Satan, 00:09:15.279 --> 00:09:20.659 the adversary. Now, here's the answer to that 00:09:20.659 --> 00:09:23.600 question. Satan rebelled in what we might call 00:09:23.600 --> 00:09:26.139 the heavenly realm, the spiritual dimension where 00:09:26.139 --> 00:09:34.379 the angelic beings exist, operate. That wasn't 00:09:34.379 --> 00:09:37.600 in the perfected eternal kingdom promised to 00:09:37.600 --> 00:09:42.080 you and I as believers in Christ, where we will 00:09:42.080 --> 00:09:47.860 live in our resurrected bodies. In eternity, 00:09:47.899 --> 00:09:51.080 those of us who have pledged our allegiance to 00:09:51.080 --> 00:09:54.179 God by being sworn believers in his son Jesus 00:09:54.179 --> 00:09:59.620 will be in paradise. Now, we are sinless now. 00:10:00.190 --> 00:10:03.490 Because of the work of Christ on the cross. Meaning 00:10:03.490 --> 00:10:06.269 we're covered by his blood for all of our transgressions. 00:10:08.049 --> 00:10:12.169 When we are there, the seal is complete. Then 00:10:12.169 --> 00:10:16.590 there will be no more sin. Which leads me to 00:10:16.590 --> 00:10:21.629 my first point. God gave all of creation free 00:10:21.629 --> 00:10:28.350 will. Every one of us gets free will. Romans 00:10:28.350 --> 00:10:30.649 6, starting in verse 20. For when you were slaves 00:10:30.649 --> 00:10:33.409 of sin, you were free in regard to righteousness. 00:10:34.389 --> 00:10:36.590 But what fruit were you getting at that time 00:10:36.590 --> 00:10:38.570 from the things of which you are now ashamed? 00:10:39.830 --> 00:10:43.350 For the end of those things is death. But now 00:10:43.350 --> 00:10:45.490 that you have been set free from sin and have 00:10:45.490 --> 00:10:49.049 become slaves of God, the fruit you get leads 00:10:49.049 --> 00:10:51.610 to sanctification and it's sin which is eternal 00:10:51.610 --> 00:10:56.269 life. For the wages of sin is death, but the 00:10:56.269 --> 00:11:02.840 free gift of God is eternal life. We are free 00:11:02.840 --> 00:11:08.960 in regard to our righteousness. An eternal life 00:11:08.960 --> 00:11:13.419 is a free gift from God. We have the free will 00:11:13.419 --> 00:11:17.019 to accept it or reject it. So then there were 00:11:17.019 --> 00:11:20.059 two questions that ask about free will. Why, 00:11:20.200 --> 00:11:22.279 God, would you give us free will if you truly 00:11:22.279 --> 00:11:28.179 love all of your children? I have a son. My son 00:11:28.179 --> 00:11:33.840 loves me because he wants. to love me. He doesn't 00:11:33.840 --> 00:11:37.000 love me because he needs to love me. Trust me, 00:11:37.039 --> 00:11:42.320 if you have a teenager, you get that. So here's 00:11:42.320 --> 00:11:44.740 my question for you. Would you rather someone, 00:11:45.039 --> 00:11:47.000 your kids, your spouse, your friends or family, 00:11:47.159 --> 00:11:49.799 would you rather they love you because they have 00:11:49.799 --> 00:11:58.299 to or because they want to? Now, I would choose 00:11:58.299 --> 00:12:02.289 free will every time. Because I would rather 00:12:02.289 --> 00:12:08.850 do what I want, when I want. There's like one 00:12:08.850 --> 00:12:10.570 person laughing, so it's just me and you, sorry. 00:12:15.230 --> 00:12:18.929 Now that I know Jesus, what I want lines up with 00:12:18.929 --> 00:12:23.850 what Jesus desires for my life. So in eternity, 00:12:23.850 --> 00:12:26.509 our free will will completely match God's free 00:12:26.509 --> 00:12:30.299 will for us. perfect will for us and we'll be 00:12:30.299 --> 00:12:33.299 returned to the perfect state what God intended 00:12:33.299 --> 00:12:37.720 for in the Garden of Eden. Which leads us to 00:12:37.720 --> 00:12:41.559 another question. God, knowing how the world 00:12:41.559 --> 00:12:45.320 is, would you do it all again? Would you sacrifice 00:12:45.320 --> 00:12:50.899 your son? The answer to that, God already knew 00:12:50.899 --> 00:12:54.919 what the world would become. He already knew 00:12:54.919 --> 00:12:57.720 what we would do. He knew you would put the bottle 00:12:57.720 --> 00:13:02.139 before him. He knew I would lust after women 00:13:02.139 --> 00:13:08.960 and covet my neighbor. He is omniscient. He has 00:13:08.960 --> 00:13:12.580 foreknowledge. He knew Adam and Eve would eat 00:13:12.580 --> 00:13:18.220 the fruit before he even created the fruit. So 00:13:18.220 --> 00:13:21.000 the answer to that question, would you do it 00:13:21.000 --> 00:13:26.340 all again, God? Actually, that's why. He sacrificed 00:13:26.340 --> 00:13:33.620 his son because he already knew. Now, I started 00:13:33.620 --> 00:13:36.419 with those couple of questions because they lead 00:13:36.419 --> 00:13:39.779 us to the next question, or really the next 15 00:13:39.779 --> 00:13:43.379 questions. So, 10 questions. So, when I said 00:13:43.379 --> 00:13:45.940 I have 15, I kind of cheated because 10 of them 00:13:45.940 --> 00:13:51.000 I'm going to answer together. Why do bad things 00:13:51.000 --> 00:13:54.990 happen to good people? Why do people suffer from 00:13:54.990 --> 00:13:57.190 pain and loss or total tragedies when they know, 00:13:57.330 --> 00:14:01.350 love, and obey you? Why didn't you answer my 00:14:01.350 --> 00:14:06.190 prayers when I needed you most? See, those three 00:14:06.190 --> 00:14:08.250 and the other seven all ask something very similar. 00:14:09.330 --> 00:14:15.049 Why me, God? Why me? But the answer to that comes 00:14:15.049 --> 00:14:17.669 from the original question. All the suffering 00:14:17.669 --> 00:14:21.629 is traced back to one thing. Adam and Eve? Maybe. 00:14:22.799 --> 00:14:26.120 But even before that, it ultimately stems from 00:14:26.120 --> 00:14:30.639 the fall of Satan. Which leads us to point two. 00:14:31.320 --> 00:14:35.679 Satan is the temporal ruler of this world. Upon 00:14:35.679 --> 00:14:37.840 taking a bite of the forbidden fruit, Adam and 00:14:37.840 --> 00:14:40.559 Eve forfeited their God -given stewardship of 00:14:40.559 --> 00:14:44.480 this world over to Satan, thanks to their disobedience. 00:14:45.399 --> 00:14:48.279 Then a few millennia later, this is what we read 00:14:48.279 --> 00:14:54.200 of Satan's power. Luke 4. And the devil took 00:14:54.200 --> 00:14:57.700 him, Jesus, up and showed him all the kingdoms 00:14:57.700 --> 00:15:01.799 of the world in a moment's time. And said to 00:15:01.799 --> 00:15:06.320 him, I will give you all of this authority and 00:15:06.320 --> 00:15:09.700 their glory, for it has been delivered to me. 00:15:11.700 --> 00:15:15.620 And I give it to whom I will. If you then will 00:15:15.620 --> 00:15:20.090 worship me, it will all be yours. The enemy is 00:15:20.090 --> 00:15:23.110 trying to exert his power over Jesus. But understand, 00:15:23.370 --> 00:15:28.629 any power that the enemy has is not absolute. 00:15:29.610 --> 00:15:32.029 And it's nowhere equal to the power that God 00:15:32.029 --> 00:15:37.029 has and Jesus has. His power is not full. It 00:15:37.029 --> 00:15:41.909 only lasted until Jesus took it back. See, God 00:15:41.909 --> 00:15:47.610 lives and exists in an eternal state. Jesus reigns. 00:15:47.899 --> 00:15:52.480 and that eternal kingdom. But we, you and I, 00:15:52.620 --> 00:15:57.580 live in this temporal state. So remember last 00:15:57.580 --> 00:16:00.200 week when Carl mentioned the already not yet. 00:16:01.240 --> 00:16:03.980 See, the now not yet, it can be very abstract. 00:16:05.159 --> 00:16:08.340 But it means we can experience heaven on earth, 00:16:08.580 --> 00:16:14.679 but the enemy is still fighting. He has already 00:16:14.679 --> 00:16:18.120 lost the war. Jesus has already defeated him. 00:16:19.000 --> 00:16:21.779 But the enemy is still battling to steal our 00:16:21.779 --> 00:16:26.340 eternity and our identity every single day. We 00:16:26.340 --> 00:16:30.100 see more evidence of that in 2 Corinthians. Paul 00:16:30.100 --> 00:16:33.240 tells the Corinthians, in their case, the God 00:16:33.240 --> 00:16:36.539 of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers 00:16:36.539 --> 00:16:39.340 to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel 00:16:39.340 --> 00:16:42.539 of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God. 00:16:44.879 --> 00:16:48.379 The bad things happen because the enemy roars 00:16:48.379 --> 00:16:54.419 like a lion. But remember, like a lion isn't 00:16:54.419 --> 00:17:00.960 the true lion of Judah. The enemy is like the 00:17:00.960 --> 00:17:07.259 hyenas from the Lion King. Now, this won't be 00:17:07.259 --> 00:17:09.359 on the board, but most of you know Genesis 50 00:17:09.359 --> 00:17:13.460 -20. It tells us what the enemy meant for evil. 00:17:14.349 --> 00:17:19.190 God uses for good. But I believe that the opposite 00:17:19.190 --> 00:17:23.910 is true. What God meant for good, the enemy uses 00:17:23.910 --> 00:17:28.529 for evil. See, I believe the bad things happen 00:17:28.529 --> 00:17:33.730 for one reason. We live in a broken world. The 00:17:33.730 --> 00:17:36.690 world is broken because of two events. The fall 00:17:36.690 --> 00:17:40.430 of man in the garden and Lucifer's fall from 00:17:40.430 --> 00:17:46.299 grace in heaven. The enemy's purpose is to steal, 00:17:46.539 --> 00:17:51.960 kill, and destroy. I'm not a believer in saying 00:17:51.960 --> 00:17:56.579 all things happen for a reason. Or God did this 00:17:56.579 --> 00:18:00.480 or that for a reason. I mean, oftentimes the 00:18:00.480 --> 00:18:05.579 reason is I'm a knucklehead. God never wants 00:18:05.579 --> 00:18:10.559 bad for you. God always wants good for you. God 00:18:10.559 --> 00:18:15.420 always wants the very best for you. It's the 00:18:15.420 --> 00:18:19.019 adversary that wants the opposite. It's the accuser 00:18:19.019 --> 00:18:23.880 that created the bad, the evil. See, I personally 00:18:23.880 --> 00:18:26.920 believe that cancer and strokes and other calamities 00:18:26.920 --> 00:18:30.980 are the result of Satan taking what God meant 00:18:30.980 --> 00:18:35.859 for good and twisting it and turning it until 00:18:35.859 --> 00:18:39.789 those things fulfilled his evil desire. Which 00:18:39.789 --> 00:18:45.849 is what? To steal, kill. Good, three of you know 00:18:45.849 --> 00:18:53.329 it. Again, nothing bad comes from God. We read 00:18:53.329 --> 00:18:57.009 this in James. Let no one say when he is tempted, 00:18:57.150 --> 00:19:00.630 I am being tempted by God. For God cannot be 00:19:00.630 --> 00:19:04.890 tempted with evil, nor can he himself tempt anyone. 00:19:06.390 --> 00:19:09.920 Further down in the passage it says, deceived, 00:19:09.920 --> 00:19:15.799 my beloved brothers. See, Satan's good at deceiving 00:19:15.799 --> 00:19:20.240 us because he doesn't tell full lies. He just 00:19:20.240 --> 00:19:23.940 changes one word or one syllable. He skews the 00:19:23.940 --> 00:19:29.779 truth just a little to deceive us. But remember, 00:19:29.980 --> 00:19:36.039 a half -truth, a mostly -truth, is still 100 00:19:36.039 --> 00:19:45.579 % lies. The enemy is crafty and convincing, but 00:19:45.579 --> 00:19:50.980 every sin that I have committed has been my choice 00:19:50.980 --> 00:19:58.059 because of my free will. So, God doesn't do the 00:19:58.059 --> 00:20:01.619 bad things, so then the question becomes, if 00:20:01.619 --> 00:20:04.500 God only wants good things, why doesn't He prevent 00:20:04.500 --> 00:20:08.779 all the bad things? Ready for my full, complete 00:20:08.779 --> 00:20:14.730 answer? I don't know. But I have to take comfort 00:20:14.730 --> 00:20:17.450 in the uncomfortable fact that I ultimately cannot 00:20:17.450 --> 00:20:22.089 fully answer that because I'm not God. And thank 00:20:22.089 --> 00:20:23.369 goodness, because y 'all would probably bug the 00:20:23.369 --> 00:20:29.869 crap out of me. The only answer that I can give 00:20:29.869 --> 00:20:34.849 is we live in the now, not yet. But you can take 00:20:34.849 --> 00:20:38.390 comfort in knowing that Jesus has overcome the 00:20:38.390 --> 00:20:43.220 world. So I'm going to shift here. We're going 00:20:43.220 --> 00:20:44.960 to transition the stage. I'm going to invite 00:20:44.960 --> 00:20:48.839 some special guests up to join me. And while 00:20:48.839 --> 00:20:53.200 we're changing over the stage, I want to see 00:20:53.200 --> 00:21:00.900 how much I can bring the anxiety back. So last 00:21:00.900 --> 00:21:03.539 week, Carl brought, did Carl not do a great job 00:21:03.539 --> 00:21:06.880 with this illustration? Like, but when he did 00:21:06.880 --> 00:21:13.410 it, I could feel my wife's. I guess I'm not leaning 00:21:13.410 --> 00:21:19.730 back. I could feel my wife's anxiety rising next 00:21:19.730 --> 00:21:26.170 to me. Right? But I felt like I heard God giving 00:21:26.170 --> 00:21:30.049 me another example to use from this. Not the 00:21:30.049 --> 00:21:36.190 board itself, but the shrapnel. Right? So, you 00:21:36.190 --> 00:21:38.069 know you have these bright yellow pieces that 00:21:38.069 --> 00:21:41.190 go into the perfection board, right? Now, this 00:21:41.190 --> 00:21:45.009 is what happens. Sometimes the enemy takes these 00:21:45.009 --> 00:21:50.349 pieces and he hides them from us. And then we 00:21:50.349 --> 00:21:52.589 spend our time searching for what was taken away. 00:21:54.109 --> 00:21:57.910 And in other times, God himself says, you don't 00:21:57.910 --> 00:22:02.109 need that piece. It's no good for you. So he 00:22:02.109 --> 00:22:09.349 hides it. Now, when I went searching for this 00:22:09.349 --> 00:22:13.500 perfection board, I couldn't find it. I looked 00:22:13.500 --> 00:22:16.000 in the closet. The game closet wasn't there. 00:22:16.660 --> 00:22:18.720 I looked on the pile of crap on the pool table. 00:22:19.700 --> 00:22:22.579 Wasn't there. I thought maybe Carrie had sprinkled 00:22:22.579 --> 00:22:26.059 holy water on it and buried it in the backyard. 00:22:28.299 --> 00:22:31.940 But when I did find it in the deep recesses, 00:22:31.940 --> 00:22:35.900 the dark depths of a closet somewhere in the 00:22:35.900 --> 00:22:40.589 basement, I found this piece in it. What color 00:22:40.589 --> 00:22:42.609 is this piece for the people in the back? Green. 00:22:42.930 --> 00:22:45.069 And this green piece does not match all of the 00:22:45.069 --> 00:22:48.069 yellow. But this yellow piece is the same shape 00:22:48.069 --> 00:22:51.309 as this green piece, right? And I was like, wow, 00:22:51.390 --> 00:22:54.289 God, what are you trying to say? Sometimes the 00:22:54.289 --> 00:22:58.150 enemy puts pieces that just don't fit. And we 00:22:58.150 --> 00:23:01.710 spend all of our time trying to make the pieces 00:23:01.710 --> 00:23:04.910 that don't fit fit and searching for the pieces 00:23:04.910 --> 00:23:10.410 that have been taken away. And God says, You 00:23:10.410 --> 00:23:13.410 can live your whole life trying to beat the clock 00:23:13.410 --> 00:23:17.650 to perfection, but your perfection lies in Jesus. 00:23:18.769 --> 00:23:23.109 Through his strength, you are made perfect. Now, 00:23:23.150 --> 00:23:28.230 hopefully I can sit on this chair. If I fall 00:23:28.230 --> 00:23:29.710 back, it'll just be a little more entertaining. 00:23:30.789 --> 00:23:33.349 So if you would, welcome to the stage Matt and 00:23:33.349 --> 00:23:44.730 Sarah Alexander. So, another one of the questions 00:23:44.730 --> 00:23:48.910 that I decided to answer this, but I felt it 00:23:48.910 --> 00:23:52.730 was necessary. All of you aren't going to have 00:23:52.730 --> 00:23:55.609 experienced this. Some of you have, but all of 00:23:55.609 --> 00:23:58.450 us have experienced loss. But this question says, 00:23:58.750 --> 00:24:04.710 would God forgive suicide? I personally have 00:24:04.710 --> 00:24:07.430 a number of friends that have lost their lives 00:24:07.430 --> 00:24:11.200 to suicide. And I have struggled my life with 00:24:11.200 --> 00:24:15.700 this very question. And the reason I invited 00:24:15.700 --> 00:24:18.740 the Alexanders up is because they have firsthand 00:24:18.740 --> 00:24:23.920 experience as suicide loss survivors. So Matt 00:24:23.920 --> 00:24:26.200 and Sarah, can you just share a little bit about 00:24:26.200 --> 00:24:30.619 your story with us today? Okay, so we have three 00:24:30.619 --> 00:24:33.400 wonderful children, Tyler, Aiden, and Ella. I 00:24:33.400 --> 00:24:35.400 could be up here all day talking about all the 00:24:35.400 --> 00:24:37.619 greatness. But today we're going to focus on 00:24:37.619 --> 00:24:39.609 my youngest son, Aiden. or our youngest son, 00:24:39.690 --> 00:24:42.910 Aiden. He was the kind of child who would just 00:24:42.910 --> 00:24:46.430 light up a room. He was funny, intelligent, athletic, 00:24:46.769 --> 00:24:52.849 empathetic. I can remember back to a story. He 00:24:52.849 --> 00:24:56.269 was 15. He got his learner's permit. We decided 00:24:56.269 --> 00:24:59.349 to take him to HCC because there's no cars around, 00:24:59.529 --> 00:25:01.490 and that's what you need to do when a child's 00:25:01.490 --> 00:25:05.630 learning how to drive. And I remember him saying 00:25:05.630 --> 00:25:09.079 that... Wow, this driving is a lot harder than 00:25:09.079 --> 00:25:15.740 it was on video games. Which worried me. So then 00:25:15.740 --> 00:25:17.440 one day we decided we were going to work on parking. 00:25:18.940 --> 00:25:22.000 And we were parking a very small car, mind you. 00:25:22.380 --> 00:25:24.259 But every time he'd try to park, I'd tell him 00:25:24.259 --> 00:25:25.839 to get out and look around, see if he did a good 00:25:25.839 --> 00:25:28.359 job. And he would get in a little discouraged 00:25:28.359 --> 00:25:30.440 every time, like, no, it wasn't good, he'd over 00:25:30.440 --> 00:25:33.599 a line, whatever. So then we kept doing that. 00:25:33.640 --> 00:25:35.900 Eventually, one time he parked, and he nailed 00:25:35.900 --> 00:25:38.430 it. I didn't let him know he nailed it yet, but 00:25:38.430 --> 00:25:40.549 he nailed it. And I said, go ahead and get out 00:25:40.549 --> 00:25:43.210 and take a look. And he comes back in the car 00:25:43.210 --> 00:25:47.250 with a grin from ear to ear and just goes, I 00:25:47.250 --> 00:25:56.730 did that. Unfortunately, on April 19th, 2021, 00:25:57.190 --> 00:25:59.329 Matt and I both received a phone call from my 00:25:59.329 --> 00:26:02.279 mom somewhere around 830 in the morning. telling 00:26:02.279 --> 00:26:04.740 us, don't ask any questions, get in your car, 00:26:04.839 --> 00:26:08.880 and come home right now. We did exactly that, 00:26:08.980 --> 00:26:11.559 and as Matt sped through every single red light 00:26:11.559 --> 00:26:15.119 in Hagerstown, and I was driving 120 miles an 00:26:15.119 --> 00:26:19.160 hour on I -70 East, we were able to figure out 00:26:19.160 --> 00:26:22.119 what happened. Our youngest son, Aiden, at the 00:26:22.119 --> 00:26:24.960 young age of 15, died from suicide at our home. 00:26:27.400 --> 00:26:30.559 I remember that drive very vividly, and the entire 00:26:30.559 --> 00:26:33.559 drive home, I remember begging and pleading. 00:26:34.660 --> 00:26:47.119 Please, God. Not my son. Not my baby. Don't let 00:26:47.119 --> 00:26:56.799 this be true. Despite all of the amazingness 00:26:56.799 --> 00:26:59.339 Matt shared about Aiden, which is just the tip 00:26:59.339 --> 00:27:02.460 of the iceberg, unfortunately there were people 00:27:02.460 --> 00:27:07.140 in his life, his classmates, his teammates, who 00:27:07.140 --> 00:27:09.519 made him question his value, who made them question 00:27:09.519 --> 00:27:13.740 his amazingness, and ultimately it skewed his 00:27:13.740 --> 00:27:17.400 lens and contributed to his decision. The ripples 00:27:17.400 --> 00:27:20.920 that got created on April 19th shattered our 00:27:20.920 --> 00:27:24.369 innocence. rearranged our entire lives in ways 00:27:24.369 --> 00:27:28.009 we never could have imagined, and has changed 00:27:28.009 --> 00:27:33.049 the trajectory of the lives we live today. I 00:27:33.049 --> 00:27:37.309 want to pause here. Many of us have had similar 00:27:37.309 --> 00:27:41.470 thoughts in our life, but if you personally are 00:27:41.470 --> 00:27:44.470 dealing with thoughts of what it would be like 00:27:44.470 --> 00:27:48.210 if I wasn't around, I want you to not believe 00:27:48.210 --> 00:27:51.349 any of the lies and understand that I love you. 00:27:52.140 --> 00:27:55.180 We love you. But more importantly, God wants 00:27:55.180 --> 00:28:01.220 you to have the best because he loves you. So, 00:28:01.220 --> 00:28:04.180 guys, what would you say to somebody that's going 00:28:04.180 --> 00:28:09.660 through this or maybe a similar season? So, I 00:28:09.660 --> 00:28:13.799 will say from firsthand experience that you're 00:28:13.799 --> 00:28:15.779 going to want to give up. Those thoughts are 00:28:15.779 --> 00:28:18.359 understanding. Rudy stole my thunder a little 00:28:18.359 --> 00:28:20.000 bit. I was going to change my speech a little 00:28:20.000 --> 00:28:22.740 bit. I love you, and more importantly, God loves 00:28:22.740 --> 00:28:28.140 you. So don't do that. I would tell others that, 00:28:28.180 --> 00:28:33.119 yeah, this sucks. It's more devastating than 00:28:33.119 --> 00:28:37.400 anybody could ever imagine. It doesn't make sense. 00:28:37.460 --> 00:28:40.460 I don't know why. I might likely never know why. 00:28:41.599 --> 00:28:44.200 As humans, we have a tendency to withdraw inside 00:28:44.200 --> 00:28:47.059 of ourselves, and that's what I, what Matt and 00:28:47.059 --> 00:28:51.759 I did for now five years. We still find ourselves 00:28:51.759 --> 00:28:54.160 doing it today. We try really hard not to, but 00:28:54.160 --> 00:28:57.420 we recognize it. I'd also say that while, yes, 00:28:57.480 --> 00:29:00.640 this is really hard, and yes, it sucks, that 00:29:00.640 --> 00:29:03.339 we have to just keep going. Even if it's just 00:29:03.339 --> 00:29:06.619 one breath at a time, one second at a time, we 00:29:06.619 --> 00:29:08.579 just have to keep putting one foot in front of 00:29:08.579 --> 00:29:21.900 the other. So, did you do it alone? No, you cannot 00:29:21.900 --> 00:29:25.839 do it by yourself. I'm going to steal Sarah's 00:29:25.839 --> 00:29:28.759 thunder here. We had to do it together, but more 00:29:28.759 --> 00:29:32.819 importantly, we had to do it with God. It took 00:29:32.819 --> 00:29:35.460 about three years after Aiden's death before 00:29:35.460 --> 00:29:39.140 Matt and I invited God onto this journey with 00:29:39.140 --> 00:29:42.700 us, and I can honestly say until that happened, 00:29:42.759 --> 00:29:46.160 we did not actually feel any real healing. We 00:29:46.160 --> 00:29:48.460 were stuck where we were, and God is the one 00:29:48.460 --> 00:29:51.480 who has gotten us through it. So you said doing 00:29:51.480 --> 00:29:53.400 it together, and that's something we're going 00:29:53.400 --> 00:29:55.740 to come back to when we get to the action steps. 00:29:55.980 --> 00:29:58.680 But I want to take a moment to answer the question, 00:29:58.920 --> 00:30:02.200 will God forgive it? And I want to answer it 00:30:02.200 --> 00:30:06.839 this way. Remember, there isn't any work or act 00:30:06.839 --> 00:30:10.799 that you can do that gets you into heaven. There 00:30:10.799 --> 00:30:12.859 isn't any work or act that you can do that keeps 00:30:12.859 --> 00:30:16.579 you out of heaven. The work was paid for by the 00:30:16.579 --> 00:30:21.339 sacrifice Jesus made on the cross. What gets 00:30:21.339 --> 00:30:24.759 you into heaven? The one thing you can do is 00:30:24.759 --> 00:30:29.680 accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior. What keeps 00:30:29.680 --> 00:30:36.160 you out of heaven is rejecting Jesus. Since we 00:30:36.160 --> 00:30:38.920 are covered by the blood of Jesus, our ticket 00:30:38.920 --> 00:30:41.880 was stamped the day we truly invited Him into 00:30:41.880 --> 00:30:46.400 our hearts as our Savior. I don't believe suicide 00:30:46.400 --> 00:30:49.920 is a determining factor. to getting you into 00:30:49.920 --> 00:30:53.940 heaven. I believe it has to do with accepting 00:30:53.940 --> 00:30:58.720 Jesus. That's the determining factor. So Sarah, 00:30:58.759 --> 00:31:01.019 in our conversations over the past couple years, 00:31:01.140 --> 00:31:04.519 I've used the word committed suicide. And a couple 00:31:04.519 --> 00:31:07.680 weeks ago when we met, you gently corrected me. 00:31:08.519 --> 00:31:10.920 So if you would, could you just share with us, 00:31:10.940 --> 00:31:14.720 everyone else, what you shared with me? Yeah, 00:31:14.759 --> 00:31:17.059 when we refer to the cause of someone's death, 00:31:17.160 --> 00:31:19.539 we don't say they committed a heart attack, they 00:31:19.539 --> 00:31:22.380 committed cancer, they committed kidney disease, 00:31:22.539 --> 00:31:24.440 because it's not something that they did. It's 00:31:24.440 --> 00:31:27.160 something that has happened to them. And so when 00:31:27.160 --> 00:31:30.900 we use that term committed in reference to suicide, 00:31:31.000 --> 00:31:34.099 what we're doing is we're alluding that the person 00:31:34.099 --> 00:31:37.859 who died from suicide committed a crime or a 00:31:37.859 --> 00:31:40.799 sin, and they didn't. What actually ends up happening 00:31:40.799 --> 00:31:44.240 is suicide is the result from an illness. It's 00:31:44.240 --> 00:31:46.980 a result from mental illness. Just like heart 00:31:46.980 --> 00:31:50.599 disease, just like cancer, mental illness is 00:31:50.599 --> 00:31:55.980 also a real disease. So I want to look at 1 Corinthians 00:31:55.980 --> 00:31:59.859 and Paul's first letter. In chapter 10, it says, 00:31:59.940 --> 00:32:02.940 No temptation has ever overtaken you that is 00:32:02.940 --> 00:32:06.240 not common to man, meaning others have already 00:32:06.240 --> 00:32:09.690 lived what you are living. And after you, others 00:32:09.690 --> 00:32:12.869 will continue to live similar seasons. But God 00:32:12.869 --> 00:32:14.650 is faithful and he will not let you be tempted 00:32:14.650 --> 00:32:17.349 beyond your ability. But with the temptation, 00:32:17.369 --> 00:32:21.630 he will also provide the way of escape that you 00:32:21.630 --> 00:32:24.170 may be able to enjoy it. You know, another phrase 00:32:24.170 --> 00:32:26.230 that I'm not a fan of is, God will never give 00:32:26.230 --> 00:32:29.950 you more than you can handle. It's false. Even 00:32:29.950 --> 00:32:33.230 though I just read that scripture, it's not true, 00:32:33.349 --> 00:32:36.369 it's 100 % lies. Because it's only half truth. 00:32:37.319 --> 00:32:40.160 I know plenty of times in my life, God has given 00:32:40.160 --> 00:32:46.720 me more than I can handle. The scripture says 00:32:46.720 --> 00:32:48.819 he will provide the way of escape that you may 00:32:48.819 --> 00:32:54.980 be able to endure it. Ultimately, the full truth, 00:32:55.279 --> 00:32:57.500 God will not give you more than you can handle 00:32:57.500 --> 00:33:01.299 as long as you rely on the Holy Spirit to comfort 00:33:01.299 --> 00:33:04.599 and guide you. So ultimately, I can't tell you 00:33:04.599 --> 00:33:09.549 why God separates some. or relieves some suffering 00:33:09.549 --> 00:33:11.690 from people and allows others suffering from 00:33:11.690 --> 00:33:15.589 others. But I do know that God makes a promise 00:33:15.589 --> 00:33:18.609 for suffering. So I want to tell you a quick 00:33:18.609 --> 00:33:20.569 story, another car maintenance story. No, it 00:33:20.569 --> 00:33:25.470 is not changing a tire. I needed to change my 00:33:25.470 --> 00:33:27.089 windshield wipers a couple months ago, so I went 00:33:27.089 --> 00:33:30.109 to Sands and I got these windshield wipers, right? 00:33:30.829 --> 00:33:34.390 I didn't need the instruction because I've changed 00:33:34.390 --> 00:33:37.559 them dozens of times. I didn't need the instructions 00:33:37.559 --> 00:33:44.119 because I'm a man. But the next time it rained, 00:33:44.140 --> 00:33:47.119 after I changed, the next time it rained, I noticed 00:33:47.119 --> 00:33:51.759 my windows were blurry. But it stopped raining, 00:33:51.799 --> 00:33:55.960 and my windows cleared up, so I drove on. Then 00:33:55.960 --> 00:33:57.539 a couple weeks later, I was driving down the 00:33:57.539 --> 00:34:01.259 falling waters, and it's blurry again. And as 00:34:01.259 --> 00:34:03.019 I'm driving home from falling waters, one of 00:34:03.019 --> 00:34:06.539 the blades just starts breaking off. As I'm crossing 00:34:06.539 --> 00:34:09.940 the river, it flies off. Like I'm going to Sam's 00:34:09.940 --> 00:34:13.880 and returning this thing. And then before I got 00:34:13.880 --> 00:34:16.260 off the interstate, I look over and notice that 00:34:16.260 --> 00:34:18.559 the passenger side where it fell off was actually 00:34:18.559 --> 00:34:22.860 clear. But the driver's side, can you pick that 00:34:22.860 --> 00:34:26.980 up, man? The driver's side wasn't. Because I 00:34:26.980 --> 00:34:29.619 didn't read the directions. I didn't have all 00:34:29.619 --> 00:34:32.980 the information. That thing was put there to 00:34:32.980 --> 00:34:39.300 protect. The windshield wipers. Know this. God 00:34:39.300 --> 00:34:42.300 puts things in your life to protect you that 00:34:42.300 --> 00:34:45.599 you might not all have the wisdom or understanding. 00:34:46.420 --> 00:34:52.099 But the protections are still there. Now, again, 00:34:52.280 --> 00:34:55.380 I can't tell you I allow suffering. But I can 00:34:55.380 --> 00:34:59.579 tell you that he provides a promise. And I want 00:34:59.579 --> 00:35:02.139 to read a poem for you. It's one of my favorite 00:35:02.139 --> 00:35:04.059 poems. It's by a woman named Annie Johnson Flint. 00:35:04.159 --> 00:35:07.800 It says this. God has not promised. Sky is always 00:35:07.800 --> 00:35:11.599 blue. Flowers turn pathways all our lives through. 00:35:12.739 --> 00:35:16.940 God has not promised sun without rain, joy without 00:35:16.940 --> 00:35:22.260 sorrow, peace without pain. But God has promised 00:35:22.260 --> 00:35:25.699 strength for the day, rest for the labor, light 00:35:25.699 --> 00:35:28.760 for the way. Grace for the trials, help from 00:35:28.760 --> 00:35:34.360 above. unfailing kindness undying love it's not 00:35:34.360 --> 00:35:37.059 about why god allows suffering it's about the 00:35:37.059 --> 00:35:40.519 promises that god gives us so we want to take 00:35:40.519 --> 00:35:44.179 today's action steps and walk you through how 00:35:44.179 --> 00:35:46.739 you can remember god's promises through the suffering 00:35:46.739 --> 00:35:50.840 because you never have to walk alone the first 00:35:50.840 --> 00:35:55.099 action step you need to embrace your grief and 00:35:55.099 --> 00:35:57.539 your grief doesn't have to be something big something 00:35:57.539 --> 00:35:59.539 dire, something as grave as what we're talking 00:35:59.539 --> 00:36:02.539 about. It may be you leave a job and go to another 00:36:02.539 --> 00:36:06.679 job. I know that I had to grieve giving up teaching 00:36:06.679 --> 00:36:11.860 when I became a pastor. It may be moving out 00:36:11.860 --> 00:36:13.579 of the house that you brought your babies home 00:36:13.579 --> 00:36:16.739 to and raised them in, even if it's a bigger, 00:36:16.780 --> 00:36:20.699 better house. But there's a promise that God 00:36:20.699 --> 00:36:23.599 gave us in the Beatitudes, Matthew 5, that says, 00:36:23.840 --> 00:36:26.860 blessed are those who mourn. for they will be 00:36:26.860 --> 00:36:29.900 comforted. And if you hear nothing else today, 00:36:29.980 --> 00:36:38.460 hear this. Grief is a word of love. Loss of anything 00:36:38.460 --> 00:36:42.400 puts a huge wall in front of us. But God provides 00:36:42.400 --> 00:36:47.039 a gate of grief for us to walk through. And most 00:36:47.039 --> 00:36:50.440 of us do our best to avoid that gate at all costs. 00:36:51.400 --> 00:36:54.380 But no, you can't walk around the wall. and no, 00:36:54.480 --> 00:36:56.980 you can't get over or underneath the wall. The 00:36:56.980 --> 00:37:01.639 only way to get healing is to walk through the 00:37:01.639 --> 00:37:05.480 gate of grief. But once you decide to open the 00:37:05.480 --> 00:37:09.119 gate, you will find that God is there with you, 00:37:09.179 --> 00:37:14.059 and not only will he let you through, and also 00:37:14.059 --> 00:37:17.739 understand that joy and grief, they can coexist. 00:37:19.679 --> 00:37:23.099 So quickly, Matt, Sarah, can you talk about how... 00:37:23.130 --> 00:37:25.969 you have been able in your lives to embrace the 00:37:25.969 --> 00:37:28.789 grief. Yeah, so embracing grief was difficult. 00:37:28.989 --> 00:37:31.190 I was searching for answers on how to exist without 00:37:31.190 --> 00:37:35.889 my son, reasons to keep going. And then through 00:37:35.889 --> 00:37:37.849 God and through this community of faith, I realized 00:37:37.849 --> 00:37:42.010 that grief is, this is going to sound really 00:37:42.010 --> 00:37:44.590 weird, but it's a good thing. And the fact that 00:37:44.590 --> 00:37:47.190 you only grieve things that you really loved. 00:37:47.510 --> 00:37:50.309 And the more you loved, the more you will grieve. 00:37:50.409 --> 00:37:54.059 So just keep that in mind. After Aiden died, 00:37:54.119 --> 00:37:55.800 I struggled with God. If I'm being completely 00:37:55.800 --> 00:37:58.480 honest, I pushed him away. I couldn't understand 00:37:58.480 --> 00:38:02.739 why Aiden, why us, why didn't he do something 00:38:02.739 --> 00:38:05.739 to save Aiden? How dare he take my child away 00:38:05.739 --> 00:38:08.880 from me? How dare he call my child home early 00:38:08.880 --> 00:38:11.380 when I knew he had so much life left to live 00:38:11.380 --> 00:38:14.079 and how amazing his life was actually going to 00:38:14.079 --> 00:38:17.539 be? But then about three years in, we have some 00:38:17.539 --> 00:38:20.460 really good friends who said to us, hey, we go 00:38:20.460 --> 00:38:25.360 to this church. It's kind of hippie, but we think 00:38:25.360 --> 00:38:27.679 you might like it. Will you come with us? And 00:38:27.679 --> 00:38:29.820 we said, absolutely. And so we did. We came, 00:38:29.860 --> 00:38:32.539 and look, we're still here. We fell in love immediately, 00:38:32.619 --> 00:38:35.900 and we realized without God, without our church, 00:38:36.059 --> 00:38:38.960 without our faith, without our community, we 00:38:38.960 --> 00:38:41.099 would have continued to feel lost, and our healing 00:38:41.099 --> 00:38:49.460 would have never been able to begin. Which leads 00:38:49.460 --> 00:38:53.820 us to our next point. Don't walk alone. Get an 00:38:53.820 --> 00:38:58.219 ally. Get a friend. But first, part of that goes 00:38:58.219 --> 00:39:02.480 to you and me. We need to be a friend who recognizes 00:39:02.480 --> 00:39:08.059 the grief in others. Matt, Sarah? Yeah, so if 00:39:08.059 --> 00:39:10.460 you know someone going through grief or just 00:39:10.460 --> 00:39:14.960 plain needs help, a lot of tendencies is asking, 00:39:15.059 --> 00:39:16.860 you know, what can I do for you? Is there anything 00:39:16.860 --> 00:39:18.639 you need? Please let me know if you need anything. 00:39:19.039 --> 00:39:20.800 I can tell you firsthand they're not going to 00:39:20.800 --> 00:39:23.960 ask. You just need to do it. It could be mowing 00:39:23.960 --> 00:39:27.239 the lawn. It could be a hug. It could just be 00:39:27.239 --> 00:39:31.260 saying, I'm here. Two days after Aiden's death, 00:39:31.380 --> 00:39:33.800 my best friend just showed up at our door unannounced. 00:39:34.260 --> 00:39:36.619 We had family in town. We had just made plans. 00:39:36.760 --> 00:39:38.320 We were going to place a to -go order at Buffalo 00:39:38.320 --> 00:39:40.440 Wild Wings. We were all excited because we hadn't 00:39:40.440 --> 00:39:43.280 really eaten in two days. And she shows up with 00:39:43.280 --> 00:39:46.880 Kentucky Fried Chicken. She didn't know what 00:39:46.880 --> 00:39:49.599 to do, but she knew she could feed us. And what 00:39:49.599 --> 00:39:51.840 I can tell you is that during those early days 00:39:51.840 --> 00:39:55.380 of our grief, you really do forget how to live. 00:39:55.639 --> 00:39:58.639 If breathing wasn't automatic, I know for a fact 00:39:58.639 --> 00:40:01.000 that there would have been many, many times where 00:40:01.000 --> 00:40:02.760 I would have forgotten to simply do that, just 00:40:02.760 --> 00:40:07.880 breathe. Ecclesiastes 4, 9 and 10. Two people 00:40:07.880 --> 00:40:10.079 are better off than one, for they can help each 00:40:10.079 --> 00:40:13.500 other succeed. If one person fails, the other 00:40:13.500 --> 00:40:16.119 can reach out and help. but someone who falls 00:40:16.119 --> 00:40:20.539 alone is in real trouble. Get a mentor. Get a 00:40:20.539 --> 00:40:23.739 confidant. Get in a growth group. We're going 00:40:23.739 --> 00:40:25.280 to have a tailgate party in a couple weeks. There's 00:40:25.280 --> 00:40:27.880 over 30 groups in this church, one of which is 00:40:27.880 --> 00:40:32.199 called Grief Share. Reach out and get prayer 00:40:32.199 --> 00:40:39.219 ministry. Find a trained therapist. I see a therapist. 00:40:40.699 --> 00:40:43.300 It doesn't mean you're weak if you get a therapist. 00:40:43.929 --> 00:40:46.090 The strong people are the ones who decide to 00:40:46.090 --> 00:40:49.090 reach out and talk to someone. And I'm not advocating 00:40:49.090 --> 00:40:52.269 for medication, but maybe medicine is part of 00:40:52.269 --> 00:40:55.869 your answer. I take anti -anxiety and anti -depressants. 00:40:59.190 --> 00:41:01.369 But understand this. You need to pray like it 00:41:01.369 --> 00:41:04.489 depends on God, but you need to put in the work 00:41:04.489 --> 00:41:07.750 like it depends on you. And part of that includes 00:41:07.750 --> 00:41:10.679 reaching out to your community. And the other 00:41:10.679 --> 00:41:13.219 thing it includes is our last action step. Use 00:41:13.219 --> 00:41:18.119 your story. Psalm 66 tells this in verse 13. 00:41:18.360 --> 00:41:21.719 Come and listen, all who fear God, and I will 00:41:21.719 --> 00:41:24.079 tell you what he did for me. Tell people what 00:41:24.079 --> 00:41:28.260 he did for you. But God did listen. He paid attention 00:41:28.260 --> 00:41:31.659 to my prayer. Praise God who did not ignore my 00:41:31.659 --> 00:41:33.840 prayer or withdraw his unfailing love from me. 00:41:35.780 --> 00:41:41.150 Telling your story is part of your healing. So 00:41:41.150 --> 00:41:43.690 Matt and Sarah, how has embracing your grief 00:41:43.690 --> 00:41:47.530 by sharing your story helps you heal? Aiden passed 00:41:47.530 --> 00:41:50.570 away on a Monday, and Wednesday morning when 00:41:50.570 --> 00:41:52.949 I got out of bed, I knew immediately that we 00:41:52.949 --> 00:41:54.489 were going to start a nonprofit organization 00:41:54.489 --> 00:41:57.630 in Aiden's memory. And that foundation gave me 00:41:57.630 --> 00:42:00.289 a way to continue to love Aiden out loud and 00:42:00.289 --> 00:42:02.889 share his amazing story and life with as many 00:42:02.889 --> 00:42:05.469 people as possible. And ultimately, introducing 00:42:05.469 --> 00:42:07.309 Aiden to people who haven't had the pleasure 00:42:07.309 --> 00:42:10.409 of meeting him has been incredibly healing and 00:42:10.409 --> 00:42:12.269 has actually filled some of the fractures in 00:42:12.269 --> 00:42:15.869 my heart. Yeah, we initially need the... the 00:42:15.869 --> 00:42:19.349 foundation to pour ourselves into something, 00:42:19.489 --> 00:42:22.510 to keep us busy, keep our minds occupied. As 00:42:22.510 --> 00:42:24.849 we continue to do that, people would reach out 00:42:24.849 --> 00:42:27.289 to us saying, thank you for doing this. You've 00:42:27.289 --> 00:42:29.130 touched my heart. You know, you've helped me. 00:42:29.510 --> 00:42:31.789 Some of it's been as simple as I've asked my 00:42:31.789 --> 00:42:33.650 kids the hard question of how are you really 00:42:33.650 --> 00:42:37.630 doing? I'll say for as many people as we've helped, 00:42:37.769 --> 00:42:40.989 they've also helped us. It's just as healing 00:42:40.989 --> 00:42:44.449 for us and sometimes very much enjoyable for 00:42:44.449 --> 00:42:48.000 us to talk about them. So it's not a one -way 00:42:48.000 --> 00:42:50.679 street. You may be helping someone, but they 00:42:50.679 --> 00:42:54.559 also may be helping you. So tell your story. 00:42:55.320 --> 00:42:57.320 Even if you've lived a perfect life all your 00:42:57.320 --> 00:42:59.840 life, come tell me your story so I can figure 00:42:59.840 --> 00:43:03.179 out how to do that. But understand that your 00:43:03.179 --> 00:43:05.739 story, like Matt said, it might help someone 00:43:05.739 --> 00:43:09.139 else heal or grow or walk through the season 00:43:09.139 --> 00:43:11.900 that they're in. But as importantly, it's going 00:43:11.900 --> 00:43:15.480 to help you heal. So will you stand with us? 00:43:19.480 --> 00:43:22.360 As we wrap up the discussion, and thanks for 00:43:22.360 --> 00:43:24.840 bearing with us, I know it was deep, but we wanted 00:43:24.840 --> 00:43:26.960 to really give you guys an opportunity to do 00:43:26.960 --> 00:43:30.639 what Matt did a couple years ago. Because he 00:43:30.639 --> 00:43:32.599 walked through this, he was able to ask Jesus 00:43:32.599 --> 00:43:36.840 into his heart. Now, there's also a reason why 00:43:36.840 --> 00:43:38.820 Chris has us repeat this each and every week. 00:43:40.559 --> 00:43:43.659 So if we share our story and lead someone to 00:43:43.659 --> 00:43:47.219 Christ, we can say the salvation prayer with 00:43:47.219 --> 00:43:50.559 them. So I've asked Matt to lead us in a salvation 00:43:50.559 --> 00:43:59.320 prayer. Jesus, without you I am lost. With you 00:43:59.320 --> 00:44:05.780 I am found. I am free. I believe you are the 00:44:05.780 --> 00:44:10.530 Son of God. I believe. You died for my sins. 00:44:11.829 --> 00:44:17.070 I believe you are alive today. Come into my heart. 00:44:18.449 --> 00:44:23.409 Transform me. Make me new. Give me your Holy 00:44:23.409 --> 00:44:30.409 Spirit to partner with me. Allow me space to 00:44:30.409 --> 00:44:37.150 embrace my grief. In Jesus' name, amen. If you 00:44:37.150 --> 00:44:39.969 just said that prayer for the first time, let's 00:44:39.969 --> 00:44:44.630 go. Also, text the words change me if you would 00:44:44.630 --> 00:44:47.670 to the number behind me. And you're in luck because 00:44:47.670 --> 00:44:55.010 next Sunday is Baptism Sunday. So, I know that 00:44:55.010 --> 00:44:57.469 this was deep. It was challenging for many of 00:44:57.469 --> 00:45:01.730 us. So, I have Stacy. She's going to come sing 00:45:01.730 --> 00:45:05.039 over us. But I also... I'm going to have a trash 00:45:05.039 --> 00:45:08.559 can sitting here. So if there is anything in 00:45:08.559 --> 00:45:10.539 your life, if there is anything on your person 00:45:10.539 --> 00:45:13.699 that you have on you that's going to keep you 00:45:13.699 --> 00:45:16.539 from knowing God's full love for you, I want 00:45:16.539 --> 00:45:18.059 you to come up and throw it in his trash can. 00:45:19.219 --> 00:45:21.440 The prayer team is going to be up here. Matt 00:45:21.440 --> 00:45:23.659 and Sarah will be out in the cafeteria if you 00:45:23.659 --> 00:45:25.719 need to talk to them. The words of knowledge, 00:45:25.860 --> 00:45:32.739 painful, back, and I forget the other one. Tinnitus. 00:45:34.509 --> 00:45:37.769 Okay? Now, Stacy's going to sing it as well. 00:45:38.409 --> 00:45:40.449 Take this moment to just let the Holy Spirit 00:45:40.449 --> 00:45:44.809 wash over you. Thank you. I love you. Thank you. 00:46:16.789 --> 00:46:25.969 So let go my soul and trust in him. The waves 00:46:25.969 --> 00:46:33.289 and winds still know his name. The waves and 00:46:33.289 --> 00:46:47.239 winds still know his name. A very good friend 00:46:47.239 --> 00:46:50.059 of mine is having open heart surgery on Tuesday 00:46:50.059 --> 00:46:55.199 at St. Joe's. She's a wonderful woman who's been 00:46:55.199 --> 00:47:49.699 through many, many things. Thank you. soul Jesus 00:47:49.699 --> 00:48:04.019 it is well with my soul just receive him right 00:48:04.019 --> 00:48:04.300 now