1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:15,440 Welcome to Hub City Vineyard. 2 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:23,060 To get connected or to give online go to connect.hcv.church or give.hcv.church. 3 00:00:23,060 --> 00:00:27,360 If at any point during this message you feel called to make a change in your life, text 4 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:30,840 change me to 970-00. 5 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:32,400 Thank you and enjoy the message. 6 00:00:32,400 --> 00:00:39,480 So for the month of February we are discussing love, sex, and godly relationships in our 7 00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:42,840 sermon series that we've called Private Parts. 8 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:49,920 So as a reminder, today is rated PG, okay, parental guidance. 9 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:54,200 So if you are concerned about your children and what they may or may not hear then we 10 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:57,760 would love for them to join us in HCVKids at this time. 11 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:00,080 So if you want to consider checking them then great. 12 00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:07,440 If not, we will continue on because last week we opened a series with a talk on attraction 13 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:14,080 and we talked about in the book of Solomon how Solomon and the Shulamite woman began 14 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:19,480 building qualities within themselves that led to attraction. 15 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:24,280 This week we will have an important talk for so many relationships and we will discuss 16 00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:29,600 how to fight fair and to overcome our differences. 17 00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:34,040 Today we will discuss a subject that affects all of us and one we are another and that 18 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:36,920 is the gift of sex. 19 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:41,480 Now I just want to be honest with you this morning, I got up at my normal time as I always 20 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:46,500 do on Sunday morning and begin praying and sharing and conversating with God about what 21 00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:49,000 I'm supposed to be talking about today. 22 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:52,520 As I was getting ready Jess looked at me and said, are you feeling okay because you look 23 00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:55,400 out of sorts. 24 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:58,800 And I was just kind of honest with her and said, you know I don't know if I should be 25 00:01:58,800 --> 00:02:01,320 sharing about this topic. 26 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:04,480 I don't know if it's going to apply to everyone's life, I don't know if everyone is going to 27 00:02:04,480 --> 00:02:06,480 glean something from it. 28 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:12,480 And it was one of those things where in my honesty God began to speak back and say no 29 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,000 we all need to hear about it. 30 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:21,360 It doesn't matter if you're married, not married, dating, teenager, divorced, widowed, whatever 31 00:02:21,360 --> 00:02:27,440 it may be, we all need to hear about it because truth is whether we turn on our TV, look down 32 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:33,160 at our mobile device, click to a site on our computer, walk out into public, go to a movie, 33 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:40,400 plastered on magazines in Martins, there's messages everywhere regarding sex. 34 00:02:40,400 --> 00:02:44,720 Our culture is consumed with sex. 35 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:50,320 The problem with the message of sex that is found in our culture is that it's dangerous, 36 00:02:50,320 --> 00:02:53,840 destructive, and more importantly it is godless. 37 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,600 It is godless. 38 00:02:56,600 --> 00:03:03,160 Today we want to discuss what it looks like for a husband and wife to experience godly 39 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:04,160 sex. 40 00:03:04,160 --> 00:03:09,520 And to do so we're going to go through the book of Song of Solomon into chapter four 41 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:14,400 and we're going to pull out principles found in godly sex. 42 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:19,640 Now what I've learned in praying and discussing with God this morning is this topic is not 43 00:03:19,640 --> 00:03:21,560 something to be embarrassed about. 44 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:24,120 It's just not. 45 00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,440 It is something that God created. 46 00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:33,680 It's beautiful, it is good, it makes babies, and let's be honest, it feels good and it's 47 00:03:33,680 --> 00:03:35,640 great to experience. 48 00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:43,680 So to break the ice and to build a foundation, I want to begin with a short video on how 49 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:54,040 not to have godly sex heard in a song sung by comedian Tim Hawkins. 50 00:03:54,040 --> 00:04:06,760 I did the choreography myself. 51 00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:13,280 Hey honey have you gained some weight in your rear end? 52 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:14,280 The dress you wear reminds me of my old girlfriend. 53 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:15,280 And when you get those shoes I think they're pretty lame. 54 00:04:15,280 --> 00:04:16,280 Would you stop talking cause I'm trying to watch the game. 55 00:04:16,280 --> 00:04:17,280 If you're a man who wants to live a long and happy life, 56 00:04:17,280 --> 00:04:24,280 These are the things you don't say to your wife. 57 00:04:24,280 --> 00:04:39,280 I planned a hunting trip next week on your birthday. 58 00:04:39,280 --> 00:04:44,280 I do ask you but I knew it'd be okay. 59 00:04:44,280 --> 00:04:51,280 If you're a man who wants to live a long and happy life, 60 00:04:51,280 --> 00:05:04,280 These are the things you don't say to your wife. 61 00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:18,280 I do ask you but I knew it'd be okay. 62 00:05:18,280 --> 00:05:31,280 If you're a man who wants to live a long and happy life, 63 00:05:31,280 --> 00:05:41,280 These are the things you don't say to your wife. 64 00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:45,280 Alright so on that note, our first thought this morning, 65 00:05:45,280 --> 00:05:48,280 Godly sex is good. 66 00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:51,280 Godly sex is good. 67 00:05:51,280 --> 00:05:54,280 Now if you go back into the history of church, 68 00:05:54,280 --> 00:06:00,280 you would find that church has often times been confused about God's design for sex. 69 00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:05,280 There has actually been four stages in the church's thinking regarding this issue. 70 00:06:05,280 --> 00:06:08,280 Stage one in the early church, 71 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:16,280 they reflected and thought that sex was simply the method that God ordained for procreation for having children. 72 00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:20,280 Stage two was even more hostile towards sex. 73 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:27,280 And you would find that the early church writers saying that God didn't want us to enjoy sexual pleasure at all. 74 00:06:27,280 --> 00:06:31,280 And that sexual pleasure was a part of original sin. 75 00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:36,280 The highest life, the holiest life was a life without sex. 76 00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:42,280 One of the early church fathers Gregory of Nyssa made the extraordinary claim that the Garden of Eden, 77 00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:45,280 in the Garden of Eden there was no sex. 78 00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:48,280 Stage three which began about 50 years ago, 79 00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:52,280 the church rediscovered the goodness of sex. 80 00:06:52,280 --> 00:07:04,280 That we all had these gifts and the Christian writers began to express and challenge people to experience sex together. 81 00:07:04,280 --> 00:07:07,280 As in husband and wife. 82 00:07:07,280 --> 00:07:11,280 Stage four, the stage that we are currently living in, 83 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:19,280 is the church's understanding that a holistic, realistic, and balanced message in the Bible, 84 00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:24,280 which we are discussing this month regarding sex, and that message is this. 85 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:27,280 Godly sex is good. 86 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:29,280 How do we know that? Listen to Genesis one. 87 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:34,280 Then God said, let us make human beings in our image to be like us. 88 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:38,280 So God created human beings in his own image, in the image of God. 89 00:07:38,280 --> 00:07:41,280 He created them male and female. He created them. 90 00:07:41,280 --> 00:07:44,280 Then God blessed them and said, be fruitful and multiply. 91 00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:54,280 Then God looked over all he had made and he saw that it was very good, that it was very good. 92 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:59,280 Now Christianity is the most bodily of the world's religions. 93 00:07:59,280 --> 00:08:04,280 What do I mean by that? Well, the Bible teaches us that God created our bodies. 94 00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:07,280 We just read that he made us male and female. 95 00:08:07,280 --> 00:08:13,280 And when God made us male and female, he also gave us sexual desires, 96 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:16,280 in which he called good. 97 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:23,280 We believe that God, of course, came in bodily form, that Jesus had sexual feelings and emotions. 98 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,280 He was gendered. 99 00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:31,280 And we believe that God will raise us up in a bodily form. 100 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:36,280 Heaven is not about floating around in dismembered souls or angels. 101 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:40,280 We're not going to have wings. We're actually going to have bodies. 102 00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:47,280 And while it appears that there is no sex in heaven, we're going to have what sex is designed to point us to. 103 00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:54,280 Total intimacy, complete connection, and mind-blowing pleasure. 104 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:59,280 That's what will happen in heaven as we worship and get closer to God. 105 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:03,280 Sex is designed by God to be good. 106 00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:09,280 Unfortunately, as I stated earlier, our culture distorts it, manipulates it, right? 107 00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:14,280 And makes it evil and corrupts it, which moves us to our second thought. 108 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:19,280 Godly sex begins with emotional intimacy. 109 00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:21,280 What does that mean? 110 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:25,280 Intimacy begins way before the bedroom, right? 111 00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:30,280 Women understand this, know this, and desire this, while men? 112 00:09:30,280 --> 00:09:32,280 We need a little work. 113 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:39,280 Truth is, men are microwaves while women are crock pots. 114 00:09:39,280 --> 00:09:44,280 Let's look no further than how Solomon honors his bride. 115 00:09:44,280 --> 00:09:49,280 Solomon builds her up, compliments her, shares in conversation with her. 116 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:51,280 Song of Solomon 4 verse 1. 117 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:57,280 You are beautiful, my darling, beautiful beyond words. 118 00:09:57,280 --> 00:10:01,280 Your eyes are like doves behind your veil. 119 00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:04,280 Gentlemen, where does Solomon start? 120 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:06,280 Her eyes, right? 121 00:10:06,280 --> 00:10:08,280 He makes eye contact. 122 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:10,280 He connects with her. 123 00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:14,280 He speaks life into her and shares how beautiful she is. 124 00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:16,280 Let's continue on. 125 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:22,280 Your smile is flawless, each tooth matched with its twin. 126 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:24,280 And you think, what? 127 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:26,280 What does that even mean? 128 00:10:26,280 --> 00:10:30,280 You know, your smile is flawless, each tooth matched with a twin. 129 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:33,280 They didn't have dental floss back then. 130 00:10:33,280 --> 00:10:35,280 They didn't have toothbrushes. 131 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:39,280 So for a person to have all their teeth, it was special. 132 00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:42,280 She was special. 133 00:10:42,280 --> 00:10:49,280 And he was sharing that with her, talking about her hair, her teeth, her fresh breath. 134 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:54,280 And that's an important part that many of us need to connect with and realize. 135 00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:58,280 Solomon pays attention to the details. 136 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:02,280 He is building emotional intimacy. 137 00:11:02,280 --> 00:11:05,280 He is connecting to his bride. 138 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:09,280 Gentlemen, wives want to be served. 139 00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:14,280 Ladies, husbands want to be encouraged and empowered. 140 00:11:14,280 --> 00:11:16,280 Listen to Mark chapter 9. 141 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:20,280 He sat down, called the 12 disciples to him and said, 142 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:28,280 whoever wants to be first must take last place and be the servant of everyone. 143 00:11:28,280 --> 00:11:33,280 Jesus is challenging us that we lay down our lives, that we serve one another, 144 00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:39,280 not just those people that we work with, but first it starts in our homes. 145 00:11:39,280 --> 00:11:44,280 It starts in our intimacy with one another between husband and wife. 146 00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:48,280 We are called to serve in partnership with our spouses. 147 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:50,280 We do the dishes together. 148 00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:52,280 We fold the laundry together. 149 00:11:52,280 --> 00:11:55,280 We clean the bathrooms together. 150 00:11:55,280 --> 00:11:56,280 Why? 151 00:11:56,280 --> 00:11:58,280 Because two are better than one. 152 00:11:58,280 --> 00:11:59,280 Right? 153 00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:04,280 I always share in Ecclesiastes when people get married during their ceremony, 154 00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:05,280 two are better than one. 155 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:08,280 A triple braided cord connect with God. 156 00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:12,280 Yes, but yet we say those things and then we never live them out. 157 00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:14,280 It's always one sided. 158 00:12:14,280 --> 00:12:21,280 When in reality a perfect picture of intimacy, emotional intimacy and connection, 159 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:24,280 is when we do things together. 160 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:32,280 Emotional intimacy is created way before the bedroom, way before sex. 161 00:12:32,280 --> 00:12:33,280 I mean think about it. 162 00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:37,280 We live in a culture with immediate connection, immediate connection. 163 00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:42,280 We can send texts to our significant other in the morning, in the afternoon, 164 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:47,280 thinking of you, miss you, love you, cannot wait to see you. 165 00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:49,280 And what does that do? 166 00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:52,280 It makes her feel special. 167 00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:55,280 It makes him feel wanted. 168 00:12:55,280 --> 00:13:02,280 It's going above and beyond to create a connection so that people then can live it out physically. 169 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:09,280 What if you actually began to pay attention to the details of a conversation like Solomon was doing? 170 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:11,280 And we ask questions about our day. 171 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:12,280 How are you feeling? 172 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:13,280 What was your struggles? 173 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:15,280 Can I pray for you? 174 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:17,280 And you think prayer? 175 00:13:17,280 --> 00:13:19,280 What's that have anything to do with sex? 176 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:28,280 Well, if you think about it, physical romance start with emotional connection and our spiritual romance with God. 177 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:29,280 God loves us. 178 00:13:29,280 --> 00:13:31,280 He wants to connect with us. 179 00:13:31,280 --> 00:13:32,280 He wants to embrace us. 180 00:13:32,280 --> 00:13:34,280 He pursues us. 181 00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:36,280 It's a spiritual romance. 182 00:13:36,280 --> 00:13:39,280 We are called to be like Jesus. 183 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:50,280 So having spiritual conversations with one another about strengths, weaknesses, what we're working on, all point to the physical connection that will happen later. 184 00:13:50,280 --> 00:13:54,280 It's our responsibility to connect in that way. 185 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:59,280 Gentlemen, women so deeply enjoy NST. 186 00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:01,280 What is NST? 187 00:14:01,280 --> 00:14:03,280 Non-sexual touching. 188 00:14:03,280 --> 00:14:07,280 They love it when you hold her hand in public. 189 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:09,280 It's OK. 190 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:10,280 PDA. 191 00:14:10,280 --> 00:14:12,280 It doesn't mean you're running to the bathroom to have sex. 192 00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:20,280 You're showing people that you love this woman and that you want to be with her and that you respect her and that you want to connect with her. 193 00:14:20,280 --> 00:14:26,280 She loves having her back rubbed and scratched and her feet touched and corrals. 194 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:28,280 And you think I don't do that. 195 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:32,280 Well, then start. 196 00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:34,280 And it's not a means to an end. 197 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:36,280 You're not focused on the end result. 198 00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:43,280 You're focusing on her and you're spending time with her, building emotional connection. 199 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:47,280 Listen to Solomon as he goes on and on about his bride's beauty. 200 00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:50,280 Your lips are like scarlet ribbon. 201 00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:52,280 Your mouth is inviting. 202 00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:55,280 Your cheeks are like rosy pomegranates behind your veil. 203 00:14:55,280 --> 00:15:02,280 Your neck is as beautiful as the Tower of David, jeweled with shields of a thousand heroes. 204 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:04,280 What is he doing? 205 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:07,280 He is working his way down her body. 206 00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:09,280 He doesn't start down. 207 00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:13,280 He starts up and he connects with her emotionally. 208 00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:16,280 He speaks life into her. 209 00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:17,280 How do we know that? 210 00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:21,280 But during this time, women were not highly regarded or respected. 211 00:15:21,280 --> 00:15:25,280 They were often mistreated, abused and neglected. 212 00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:27,280 And what is Solomon saying to his wife? 213 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:30,280 He's saying, I love the way you're securing yourself. 214 00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:32,280 You stand strong. 215 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:33,280 You're beautiful. 216 00:15:33,280 --> 00:15:36,280 Your strength is a part of me. 217 00:15:36,280 --> 00:15:43,280 It's that emotional connection that needs to be established in order for godly sex to happen. 218 00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:45,280 Which moves us to our third thought. 219 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:48,280 Godly sex is passionate. 220 00:15:48,280 --> 00:15:52,280 Song of Solomon chapter four, verse five. 221 00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:59,280 Your breasts are like two fawns, twin fawns of a gazelle grazing among the lilies. 222 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:08,280 Gentlemen, if you're going to approach twin fawns out in the woods, how are you going to do it? 223 00:16:08,280 --> 00:16:10,280 You're going to be gentle. 224 00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:12,280 You're going to be tender. 225 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:15,280 You're going to be quiet, caring and careful. 226 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:22,280 Because if you come barreling into the valley where the fawns are sniffing the lilies, where are the fawns going? 227 00:16:22,280 --> 00:16:24,280 They're going bye bye. 228 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:26,280 They're going back to the woods. 229 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:29,280 Disappearing, covering up. 230 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:37,280 It's our immediate reaction that we have to realize that that's the connection that god desires. 231 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:40,280 Emotional, right? 232 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:46,280 Gently touching, caressing and encouraging her, loving her, making her feel special. 233 00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:50,280 Ladies, make an approach. 234 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:51,280 Any approach. 235 00:16:51,280 --> 00:16:53,280 Make an approach. 236 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:54,280 Whatever you got. 237 00:16:54,280 --> 00:17:03,280 Truth is, it looks much better in satin rather than flannel. 238 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:05,280 Anything looks better. 239 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:07,280 Listen, listen. 240 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:13,280 Anything looks better than a bathrobe you purchased at Walmart because it looked warm. 241 00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:14,280 Burn it. 242 00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:16,280 Throw it away. 243 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:18,280 Get rid of it. 244 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:22,280 Put on something sexy. 245 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:24,280 Seriously, it's okay. 246 00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:25,280 It's godly. 247 00:17:25,280 --> 00:17:26,280 Why? 248 00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:28,280 Because you've been given a gift. 249 00:17:28,280 --> 00:17:30,280 You were created that way. 250 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:34,280 But the church, remember through the years you heard the history of it. 251 00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:36,280 They made it dirty and disgusting. 252 00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:38,280 And that's not God's original design. 253 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:43,280 He wants your significant other wants you to desire him. 254 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:49,280 Not out of duty, but out of a desire that you want to connect with him. 255 00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:50,280 And I understand, right? 256 00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:52,280 Let's be honest. 257 00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:54,280 Life is complicated. 258 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:56,280 Sometimes you have to plan it. 259 00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:57,280 You have children. 260 00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:58,280 You have kids. 261 00:17:58,280 --> 00:18:00,280 Get them watched. 262 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:01,280 Schedule a babysitter. 263 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,280 Order dinner and bring it home. 264 00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:05,280 Light some candles. 265 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:09,280 Put water in the tub and put on some Marvin Gaye. 266 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:15,280 Let's get it on. 267 00:18:15,280 --> 00:18:20,280 Gentlemen, if you don't plan it, it won't happen. 268 00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:24,280 It's our responsibility to make an effort. 269 00:18:24,280 --> 00:18:26,280 And I'm as busy as any of you. 270 00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:27,280 I'll be honest. 271 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:29,280 We have busy weekends. 272 00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:30,280 We coach teams. 273 00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:31,280 We go to games. 274 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:33,280 We run kids to school. 275 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:38,280 We make sure the church is ready for Sunday morning for all of you to be here. 276 00:18:38,280 --> 00:18:40,280 So put it in your calendars. 277 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:42,280 You put everything else in there. 278 00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:43,280 I put all my appointments. 279 00:18:43,280 --> 00:18:45,280 I put where the kids need to be. 280 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:47,280 You put your grocery list. 281 00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:48,280 Schedule it. 282 00:18:48,280 --> 00:18:54,280 If you're busy and you find yourself not being able to engage in godly sex, put it in your calendars. 283 00:18:54,280 --> 00:18:55,280 Right? 284 00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:58,280 For some of you, Sunday equals fun day. 285 00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:00,280 And highlight it. 286 00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:05,280 If you're off on Monday, how about Monday morning madness? 287 00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:09,280 I'm off on Monday. 288 00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:11,280 Gentlemen, how about Tuesday? 289 00:19:11,280 --> 00:19:14,280 Tuesday, two for Tuesday. 290 00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:15,280 Wow. 291 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:19,280 Wednesday, throw down Thursday and freaky Friday. 292 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:22,280 I just spelled it out for you. 293 00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:25,280 Put it in your calendars. 294 00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:27,280 Put it in your calendars. 295 00:19:27,280 --> 00:19:28,280 Why? 296 00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:31,280 Godly sex is passionate. 297 00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:33,280 We say, well, how do you know that? 298 00:19:33,280 --> 00:19:35,280 Well, listen to what Solomon says. 299 00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:39,280 Before the dawn breezes blow and the night shadows flee. 300 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:44,280 I will hurry to the mountain of myrrh and to the Hill of frankincense. 301 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:54,280 Now, I don't know exactly what all of that means, but what I do know is it happened all night long because it was passionate. 302 00:19:54,280 --> 00:19:55,280 It was exciting. 303 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,280 It was exhilarating. 304 00:19:57,280 --> 00:20:01,280 Now, remember, let's take you back a little bit. 305 00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:07,280 Everything recorded at this time in history, all historical documents recorded at this time in history. 306 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:10,280 Sex was specifically for procreation. 307 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:11,280 That's it. 308 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:18,280 But here we read in the Bible and not only is sex for procreation, but it's for what? 309 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:21,280 Recreation, enjoyment and pleasure. 310 00:20:21,280 --> 00:20:24,280 And we need to experience that together. 311 00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:28,280 Listen to the New Testament, first Corinthians seven. 312 00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:34,280 The husband should fulfill his wife's sexual needs and the wife should fulfill her husband's needs. 313 00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:35,280 How? 314 00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:43,280 The wife gives authority over her body to her husband and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. 315 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:48,280 Do not deprive each other of sexual relations. 316 00:20:48,280 --> 00:20:49,280 Do not. 317 00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:50,280 Why? 318 00:20:50,280 --> 00:20:59,280 Because God desires that we connect, that we are passionate with one another because he keeps the fire burning, which moves us to our next thought. 319 00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:04,280 Godly sex is built on trust. 320 00:21:04,280 --> 00:21:07,280 Godly sex is built on trust. 321 00:21:07,280 --> 00:21:09,280 Psalm and Solomon four seven. 322 00:21:09,280 --> 00:21:15,280 You are all together beautiful, my darling, beautiful in every way. 323 00:21:15,280 --> 00:21:19,280 Now notice Solomon is describing her beauty, right? 324 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:24,280 And we, husband and wife, we need to respect one another's bodies and feelings. 325 00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:29,280 We can't make comments like Tim Hawkins shared in our opening video. 326 00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:30,280 We just can't do that. 327 00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:36,280 And see guys, even if we're kidding, we still can't say it because there's power in words. 328 00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:44,280 And even if we're joking around, our wives feel it and it doesn't create emotional intimacy. 329 00:21:44,280 --> 00:21:45,280 It separates. 330 00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:48,280 It doesn't create for godly sex. 331 00:21:48,280 --> 00:21:55,280 It dishonors and we must respect and honor one another building that absolute truth. 332 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:57,280 Listen to Genesis two. 333 00:21:57,280 --> 00:22:02,280 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife. 334 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:05,280 The two are united into one. 335 00:22:05,280 --> 00:22:11,280 Now the man and his wife were both naked, but they felt no shame. 336 00:22:11,280 --> 00:22:14,280 Notice they felt no shame. 337 00:22:14,280 --> 00:22:19,280 We are called to lay down our selfish desires and put the other first. 338 00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:26,280 It's about the other person honoring one another is a picture that God desires for us to what? 339 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:27,280 Become one. 340 00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:30,280 And when we become one, what is that? 341 00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:31,280 That's the covenant. 342 00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:36,280 That's the vow that two people share on their wedding day. 343 00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:39,280 It's that commitment to be together for life. 344 00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:46,280 And if we think about the new covenant, which we are living in, Jesus died on the cross for us. 345 00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:52,280 He established grace through faith that our lives could be new and made whole. 346 00:22:52,280 --> 00:23:00,280 Sex, godly sex is the outward invisible sign of the inward spiritual covenant. 347 00:23:00,280 --> 00:23:04,280 It's the outward sign of the inward spiritual covenant. 348 00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:11,280 There are no longer two, but one establishing that covenant and that connection. 349 00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:19,280 Now, oftentimes again in church history, there's confusion and fear regarding this subject because we aren't speaking the truth. 350 00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:22,280 We try to speak fear in the young people. 351 00:23:22,280 --> 00:23:23,280 Oh, well, don't do that. 352 00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:24,280 It's ungodly. 353 00:23:24,280 --> 00:23:25,280 Don't touch. 354 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:26,280 Don't experience. 355 00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:30,280 Don't feel when in reality we need to speak truth. 356 00:23:30,280 --> 00:23:32,280 Sex is beautiful. 357 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:36,280 It was created for a man and a woman to share in marriage. 358 00:23:36,280 --> 00:23:39,280 So wait for that special person. 359 00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:43,280 Wait for that person person that God is designed for you. 360 00:23:43,280 --> 00:23:47,280 Develop passion, intimacy and love with that person. 361 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:50,280 And how do we know that that is a result of sex? 362 00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:53,280 Again, continuing on, listen to what Solomon writes. 363 00:23:53,280 --> 00:24:00,280 You are a garden fountain, a well of fresh water streaming down from Lebanon's mountains. 364 00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:07,280 Awake, North wind, rise up South wind, blow on my garden and spread its fragrance all around. 365 00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:12,280 Come into your garden, my love, and taste its finest fruits. 366 00:24:12,280 --> 00:24:16,280 Now, I read that this week and I thought that's in the Bible. 367 00:24:16,280 --> 00:24:19,280 That is there and it's real. 368 00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:29,280 And I don't need to explain it to you because you can read it for yourself and you can create the mental picture that Solomon has created for his special bride. 369 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:30,280 It's beautiful. 370 00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:31,280 It's special. 371 00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:32,280 It's loving. 372 00:24:32,280 --> 00:24:34,280 It's just grace beyond grace. 373 00:24:34,280 --> 00:24:36,280 But yet our culture, what does it say? 374 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:37,280 It's dirty. 375 00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:40,280 It's make it your own God. 376 00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:42,280 Do it whenever you want. 377 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:46,280 It goes totally out of bounds of what the Bible wants for us. 378 00:24:46,280 --> 00:25:00,280 And unfortunately, because of those things formerly taught by the church and what our culture tells us, many of us struggle with guilt, shame, remorse, regret, anger, resentment, and emotions that just aren't Godly. 379 00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:07,280 To be honest, you know, maybe you've already had sex and you just willingly gave it away. 380 00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:12,280 Maybe you were abused and lost your virginity to a monster. 381 00:25:12,280 --> 00:25:13,280 Right. 382 00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:14,280 Maybe you just experienced Jesus. 383 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:17,280 You come into a relationship and you think, man, we messed that up. 384 00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:19,280 How do we make it right? 385 00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:26,280 Maybe maybe you grew up in a Christian home and it was just beat in your mind that it's dirty and no good. 386 00:25:26,280 --> 00:25:29,280 And you can't have a connection with your spouse. 387 00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:35,280 That's all shame, regret, remorse, anger, feelings that just aren't from God. 388 00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:44,280 God desires that we have feelings and emotions about sex that are Godly, that are that are exciting and passionate. 389 00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:50,280 But in order for those to happen, some of us, hey, we got to lay down those struggles and those feelings that we have in our mind. 390 00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:57,280 And we got to give them to God because if we don't give them back to God and we don't allow him to remove those feelings from us, guess what? 391 00:25:57,280 --> 00:26:05,280 That connection with our spouse is not going to be intimate, passionate, exciting and designed how God wants it to be. 392 00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:06,280 So I'm going to stop right now. 393 00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:10,280 I'm going to ask the Holy Spirit to come and ask him to speak into our lives. 394 00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:11,280 Now, now hear me out. 395 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:12,280 I'm not going to ask you to raise your hand. 396 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:13,280 Stand up. 397 00:26:13,280 --> 00:26:15,280 I'm not going to anybody pray for you. 398 00:26:15,280 --> 00:26:21,280 I wanted to just be between you and God because I knew this is a subject that oftentimes gets ridiculed. 399 00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:22,280 We don't want to embarrass anybody. 400 00:26:22,280 --> 00:26:25,280 But at the same time, we want to be honest. 401 00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:31,280 We want to allow God to connect with our heart and our minds and our spirits so that the spirit can minister us. 402 00:26:31,280 --> 00:26:34,280 Why? Because he'll go over mountains to make your sex life better. 403 00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:35,280 Right. 404 00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:45,280 He'll knock them down, tear them down, pursue you so that your intimacy with your significant other is passionate, strong and vibrant like it's never been before. 405 00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:52,280 But you got to lay down the lies that you may have been believing or the regrets of the remorses of the unforgiveness that's in your heart. 406 00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,280 So Holy Spirit, come now. 407 00:26:54,280 --> 00:26:56,280 We invite you into this place. 408 00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:59,280 God, we invite you into my life. 409 00:26:59,280 --> 00:27:06,280 God, just reveal to each and every one of us, God, any lie that we may believe in, be believing about this area of sex. 410 00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:10,280 Forgive us, God, for any any sins that may be in our lives. 411 00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:14,280 Forgive us for for not putting our our spouse first. 412 00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:18,280 God, forgive us for not looking to you for guidance and direction in this area. 413 00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:27,280 God, allow us, Jesus, to be torchbearers about about this issue of sex in our culture. 414 00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:36,280 Allow us to be on the forefront of people that are sharing with young people about what it means to be in a godly relationship and have godly sex. 415 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:43,280 But at this time, we just we just give anything to you, any lie, any unforgiveness, any misstep to you. 416 00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:48,280 And we ask, we ask God that you take it from our hearts. 417 00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:50,280 You remove it from us, any blockage. 418 00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:53,280 In Jesus name, Amen. 419 00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:54,280 Amen. 420 00:27:54,280 --> 00:28:06,280 And I just fully, fully believe that as we lay down those areas, that as God overwhelms us with grace, mercy and forgiveness and love, that we truly can walk out and experience success, sexual fulfillment in marriage. 421 00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:13,280 Sexual fulfillment marriage, six steps to walking out this this just important factor of our relationship. 422 00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:18,280 And granted, I understand, gentlemen, last week I heard that I was picking on you a little bit. 423 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:20,280 So I'm going to go three husbands and three wives. 424 00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:23,280 I'm going to divide it evenly so women is coming at you too. 425 00:28:23,280 --> 00:28:24,280 All right. 426 00:28:24,280 --> 00:28:26,280 I'm going to start with the guys first. 427 00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:31,280 And it's this husband's become sexually pure, become sexually pure. 428 00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:35,280 Let there be no sexual immorality, impurity or greed among you. 429 00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:38,280 Such sins have no place among God's people. 430 00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:43,280 First Corinthians 618 run from sexual sin. 431 00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:51,280 Gentlemen, the first step in becoming sexually intimate is removing and cleaning up your sexual practices. 432 00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:58,280 Develop eyes for your wife alone, alone, period. 433 00:28:58,280 --> 00:28:59,280 What does that mean? 434 00:28:59,280 --> 00:29:03,280 That means that you need to block sites on your computers. 435 00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:09,280 You need to not visit sites that lead you to having lustful temptations and desires. 436 00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:12,280 You need to remove them totally. 437 00:29:12,280 --> 00:29:23,280 You've got to move towards sexual purity in this issue and have an accountability partner where you can be honest about your struggle with pornography because it's all over our culture. 438 00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:26,280 You say, well, Chris, I'm not going to stand up and share that I have a porn addiction. 439 00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:27,280 Fine. 440 00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:29,280 Show up to celebrate recovery tomorrow. 441 00:29:29,280 --> 00:29:44,280 They have a group of people that focus on sexual struggles where you can talk personally and intimately with someone to be held accountable so that your heart can change and you can become a person that is passionate after God. 442 00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:49,280 Second, husbands meet their emotional needs. 443 00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:53,280 You listen to how Solomon again, you are beautiful, beautiful beyond words. 444 00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:54,280 Your eyes are like doves. 445 00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:57,280 Your hair falls in waves. 446 00:29:57,280 --> 00:30:04,280 Now, I wouldn't describe your wife's hair as a flock of goats winding down the slopes of Gilead. 447 00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:13,280 All that means is that Jewish women typically had their hair up and Solomon saw her with her hair down and he was like, wow, I like that. 448 00:30:13,280 --> 00:30:15,280 That's all that means. 449 00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:16,280 Okay. 450 00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:20,280 Your teeth are as white as she recently shorn and freshly washed. 451 00:30:20,280 --> 00:30:21,280 Fresh breath. 452 00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:22,280 That's all you got a Minto in there. 453 00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:24,280 Your smile is flawless. 454 00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:27,280 Your lips are like scarlet ribbon, right? 455 00:30:27,280 --> 00:30:38,280 You see that emotional connection that Solomon is having with this special woman that she is cherished that she is loved that she that she is special. 456 00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:44,280 And see, I often tell couples this during pre-barital counseling during the dating phase. 457 00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:46,280 Men do that all the time, right? 458 00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:47,280 They wine and dine. 459 00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:49,280 They're special bride. 460 00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:57,280 They they share quality time with her and conversations and they do fun activities and they send love letters and text messages. 461 00:30:57,280 --> 00:31:06,280 But as soon as they get married, they sit in a chair and all that stops and there's no recording or dating. 462 00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:07,280 Well, Chris, that was for dating. 463 00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:09,280 No, you date the rest of your life. 464 00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:11,280 You want to have a good sex life. 465 00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:13,280 Go on a date every week. 466 00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:15,280 Treat her special. 467 00:31:15,280 --> 00:31:17,280 Wine and dine her. 468 00:31:17,280 --> 00:31:23,280 Make her feel like she is the only woman on this planet and she is yours. 469 00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:26,280 And if you treat her that way, guess what? 470 00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:29,280 You're going to have the best sex you've ever had in your life. 471 00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:35,280 Number three, husbands increase and ST increased non-sexual touch. 472 00:31:35,280 --> 00:31:42,280 He sat down, called the 12 disciples and said whoever wants to be first must take last place and be a servant to everyone. 473 00:31:42,280 --> 00:31:43,280 Right? 474 00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:45,280 Men. 475 00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:47,280 You want to increase your sex life? 476 00:31:47,280 --> 00:31:49,280 Hold her hand. 477 00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:50,280 Love her. 478 00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:52,280 Look into her eyes. 479 00:31:52,280 --> 00:31:53,280 Rub her feet. 480 00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:55,280 Rub her shoulders. 481 00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:57,280 Draw her a bath. 482 00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:58,280 Right? 483 00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:00,280 Just don't run right to sex. 484 00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:05,280 Touch her and caress her like the like the like the the the deer. 485 00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:06,280 Right? 486 00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:08,280 And the fawns. 487 00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:13,280 You got to make that special connection with her because that's her love language. 488 00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:17,280 And as you do, then your godly sex will improve. 489 00:32:17,280 --> 00:32:19,280 All right, women. 490 00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:22,280 Number four, wives embrace your sexuality. 491 00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:24,280 Embrace it. 492 00:32:24,280 --> 00:32:27,280 Psalm and Solomon four, come into your garden, my love. 493 00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:28,280 Taste its finest fruits. 494 00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:30,280 That's her words, not his. 495 00:32:30,280 --> 00:32:33,280 Psalm and Solomon five, one, oh lover and beloved. 496 00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:34,280 Eat and drink. 497 00:32:34,280 --> 00:32:38,280 Yes, drink deeply of your life of your love. 498 00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:39,280 Excuse me. 499 00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:46,280 Wives, remember, God desires for married couples to enjoy their sexuality. 500 00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:49,280 Godly sex is good. 501 00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:55,280 Sometimes you need to reflect on and believe and have conversations with other women about their sex lives. 502 00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,280 So you see that it's okay. 503 00:32:57,280 --> 00:32:58,280 It's not dirty. 504 00:32:58,280 --> 00:33:00,280 It's not disrespectful. 505 00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:02,280 No, it's sensual and loving. 506 00:33:02,280 --> 00:33:06,280 If you have thoughts that sex is dirty, sex is a sin. 507 00:33:06,280 --> 00:33:07,280 I love God. 508 00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:08,280 I can't be sexy. 509 00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:09,280 They're lies. 510 00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:11,280 You were created to be sexy. 511 00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:13,280 Be sexy for him. 512 00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:22,280 And as he desires you more and pours into you and as you embrace your sexuality, then intimacy happens. 513 00:33:22,280 --> 00:33:27,280 Number five, wives realize sex blesses your marriage. 514 00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:29,280 Sex blesses your marriage. 515 00:33:29,280 --> 00:33:32,280 Husbands fulfill the wife's sexual needs. 516 00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:34,280 Wife fulfill her husband's needs. 517 00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:42,280 Women, please understand and respect God created men to want it a lot. 518 00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:43,280 It's not our fault. 519 00:33:43,280 --> 00:33:45,280 It's how we were created. 520 00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:47,280 Our mind goes there. 521 00:33:47,280 --> 00:33:48,280 We think about it. 522 00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:49,280 We reflect on it. 523 00:33:49,280 --> 00:33:54,280 I'm not justifying actions where there's abuse, neglect, pornography. 524 00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:58,280 They are disrespectful and should not be a part of your life. 525 00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:03,280 But what I am saying is we have a high sexual drive, very high sexual drive. 526 00:34:03,280 --> 00:34:11,280 And we have to realize that as we crave it, we don't want you to have sex out of duty or obligation. 527 00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:13,280 Like that's so beautiful. 528 00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:14,280 That's not loving. 529 00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:22,280 No, realize that as you bless this marriage, as you connect with one another, you're blessing each other. 530 00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:24,280 Because what did the scripture tell us? 531 00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:26,280 It says fulfill both needs. 532 00:34:26,280 --> 00:34:27,280 Not just his. 533 00:34:27,280 --> 00:34:30,280 Don't just make him feel good because that's all we see right through that duty. 534 00:34:30,280 --> 00:34:31,280 We see right through that. 535 00:34:31,280 --> 00:34:36,280 We don't want you just to do it out of duty because that's not fun, exciting, sensual, exotic. 536 00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:37,280 It's not. 537 00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:42,280 And as we see right through that, then our separation begins. 538 00:34:42,280 --> 00:34:49,280 So just please understand that women be a part of your marriage and bless it. 539 00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:50,280 And sex does that. 540 00:34:50,280 --> 00:34:54,280 And finally, six wise, communicate your sexual needs. 541 00:34:54,280 --> 00:34:57,280 Communicate your sexual needs. 542 00:34:57,280 --> 00:35:02,280 Wise words satisfy like a good meal and right words bring satisfaction. 543 00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:04,280 Just let me spell out for you. 544 00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:09,280 Having a conversation with your husband or wife about sex and what feels good and what you want to do. 545 00:35:09,280 --> 00:35:11,280 That's not pornography. 546 00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:14,280 That's a healthy conversation. 547 00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:19,280 And it's spelling out what you need, what he needs, and what makes you feel good. 548 00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:27,280 That is godly and creates a godly connection so that your sex improves, improves and grows. 549 00:35:27,280 --> 00:35:33,280 So as we continue on in this series, my challenge to all of you this week is this. 550 00:35:33,280 --> 00:35:36,280 If you are married, and I'll draw lines. 551 00:35:36,280 --> 00:35:43,280 If you are married, take these steps and discuss them this week between you and your spouse. 552 00:35:43,280 --> 00:35:50,280 Discuss them, have conversations about these six steps, about how you can improve men. 553 00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:53,280 Ask your wife, OK, how can I make you feel special? 554 00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:56,280 How can I touch you in public? 555 00:35:56,280 --> 00:35:57,280 Ask those questions. 556 00:35:57,280 --> 00:36:01,280 How do I pour into your emotional tank and make you feel good? 557 00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:04,280 And women ask him those questions too. 558 00:36:04,280 --> 00:36:05,280 Right? 559 00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:06,280 How do you feel good? 560 00:36:06,280 --> 00:36:07,280 What do you need from me? 561 00:36:07,280 --> 00:36:16,280 How can we create an environment in our bedroom that is about sexuality that is growing and healthy and loving and is godly? 562 00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:23,280 And as you have those conversations, then suddenly we can become examples to our culture of what it truly means to have great sex. 563 00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:26,280 Because that's what God wants. 564 00:36:26,280 --> 00:36:31,280 God wants and desires that we have great, godly sex all the time. 565 00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:32,280 Right? 566 00:36:32,280 --> 00:36:36,280 Because all those dates that I was laying out, all those names, they're all in my calendar. 567 00:36:36,280 --> 00:36:39,280 They're all in my calendar. 568 00:36:39,280 --> 00:36:43,280 And we need to get to a point where we all do that. 569 00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:49,280 So Holy Spirit, come, God, empower us to be people that truly embrace our sexuality. 570 00:36:49,280 --> 00:36:58,280 Empower us to be husbands and wives that draw closer to one another through this incredible, beautiful act that you've given us. 571 00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:04,280 May your hand be upon us as we go and we make a difference in this world that you've given us to. 572 00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:06,280 In Jesus' name, amen. 573 00:37:06,280 --> 00:37:07,280 God bless. 574 00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:08,280 Have an incredible week. 575 00:37:08,280 --> 00:37:35,280 We do conflict resolution next week, part three.