Hey there folks, welcome to episode 16 of a Pebble in a Pond podcast. Today's
episode is about the concept and the idea and the feeling of gratitude. Now I'm
gonna start with a quote right away, I know that everybody enjoys those, so
we're gonna go ahead and start with one that I really think sums up what we're
gonna be talking about today. This is by the poet John Milton and he said
gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those
transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the
world. That really will get the ball rolling and I want to talk about that
quote for just a few minutes but before we do that let's listen to the music.
Tell you what, I have gratitude for that song because I really like that song. So
let's go back to that quote. Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to
encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change
forever how we experience life and the world. That really is, I mean obviously
he's a poet or he was a poet so it for me to say it's poetic is a little
ridiculous but it really is. We'll get into the exact definition of gratitude
and we'll try to make sure that everybody understands exactly what we're
talking about here but I just wanted to dive into this quote because it really
did, as I was looking up quotes for this episode, that one in particular
really struck me and the reason that it struck me is because just having your
basic, you know, just having the basic understanding of what gratitude is and
and then let's get that definition so that we have that. According to
dictionary.com, gratitude is the quality of being thankful, readiness to show
appreciation for and to return kindness and there is no other definition.
However, and this is a big however, while that's not the only definition given by
dictionary.com, that is not necessarily the wording that most people attribute
to gratitude and that's one of the reasons why I wanted to do this episode
was there's a popular conception of that word, a popular belief about that word
and many people will conflate it with appreciation and we're gonna talk about
this as we get a little bit further into the episode. We are gonna really dissect
the difference between these two things, gratitude and appreciation, because I
have an episode on appreciation already so when I was deciding to do this
episode I had to kind of struggle with that, like is it worth doing a whole
episode about a concept that is essentially the same thing in most
people's minds and as I researched it more and more I began to understand
there is a very large difference that we're gonna get into here, but I want
you to kind of wrap your head around a different way of wording that
definition. So the dictionary definition is the quality of being thankful,
readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. That's the
dictionary definition. There's another version of this, but like I said this is
this is a little bit more accepted as the more universal definition and that
definition is feeling or attitude and acknowledgement of a benefit that one
has received or will receive and I think that that is a little bit better and a
little bit more clear. Now here's the thing, gratitude is acknowledgement of
receiving something. Now it doesn't have to be a physical object, it can be
anything, it can be an emotion, it can be a moment, it can be an experience, but
it is the object or the idea of receiving something which is very very
integral to gratitude. You can't be grateful for nothing but you can be
grateful for the absence of something. Now just to make this clear and this
we're still gonna go back to the quote so don't get don't get frustrated with
me. We wanted to make sure we understood the definition first. Just to make this
clear it is possible to be grateful for the absence of let's say pain, the
absence of let's say judgment, the absence of a lack of understanding.
That's a double negative but you get what I'm trying to say. You can
be grateful, say you have a really bad relationship and then you break up
and then you are grateful for the lack of that relationship, right? You know for
the relationship being gone. What's weird about this when you get into the like
those kind of examples and I really did think about this a lot, it's possible to
be grateful. Like if you're in a bad relationship it's possible to be
grateful for the relationship to be over while still somehow in a really weird
way being grateful to the person that the relationship is over with, right?
Like you can actually love that person very much and be grateful for their
existence and for what they brought into your life but still be grateful that the
relationship with them is over and it's that's kind of a weird thing but it is
possible to have that happen. So now that we have a definition for exactly what
gratitude is, let's revisit that quote one more time. Gratitude bestows reverence.
Reverence, for those of you that may not know, is basically a deep respect.
Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those
transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the
world. Now what exactly does this quote mean? What does it mean to you? Take a
moment, pause the podcast, and I want you to think about this. What is
something in your life that you are grateful for, that you truly in your
heart feel grateful for? Existing, having, being, whatever it may be, and how has
that idea, object, moment, or emotion, how has it opened up yourself, opened up your
eyes, and opened up your heart to other things? Because this is what makes
gratitude such a powerful, powerful thing. I'm gonna get to another quote about
that in just a few minutes, but I want you to understand that that gratitude is
what... it's sort of the kind of thing that they used to call a gateway drug.
You know, they used to say that the alcohol and marijuana are gateway drugs
because they lead to harder drugs. Gratitude works that way with emotions.
Gratitude is kind of the gateway to opening up the doors and opening up your
heart to many, many positive emotions. It really does make you... it puts you in a
mindset, in a mind state, and an emotional space where you're ready to receive. It
really does do that, and one of the things that makes it so powerful is
exactly what he's talking about here. It bestows reverence. It gives you a deep
respect for whatever the thing is, whatever it is that you have gratitude
for. I know that... and we'll just use this as an example... I know that many people,
including some that listen to this podcast, absolutely love their morning
ritual. It is the center of everything for them. They can't start their day and
have a good day without their morning ritual. You know, they wake up whatever
time they get their cup of coffee made, you know, and they go and they sit at
the window and they watch the sun come up or, you know, whatever it may be, or
they watch the birds and the bird feeder. They watch... they have that
moment of peace, that moment of calm, and I know that that's how it is for a lot of
people, and it's that kind of the repetition of it, but what is it that
you really appreciate? What is it that you really have gratitude for? And you'll
find that if you really sit and you think about something like that... now if
you don't have this ritual, then you know, think about whatever it is that you
have... that you are grateful for, that you have gratitude for. Now what is it about
that? For some people it's that... it's the ritual of it, right? For some people it's
just the fact that this is what they've kind of programmed into themselves to
be the start of their day, but for others it really is this... just this deep... and
they may not even know it. They may not... you may not be... have ever really put the
word to it, but there is a deep sense of peace and respect that comes with this.
You know, you get up, you're groggy, your mind's still fuzzy from sleep, you go
over there, you do the coffee stuff, you get the coffee going, and all of
a sudden you smell it, and that gets you going, right? Because you know what's
coming, and you know what to expect, and you go and you're, you know, getting
dressed, getting your whatever, doing whatever you do, brushing your hair,
whatever it is, you go, you get your cup of coffee, and you sit down, and in that
moment where you're finally waking up, you're transitioning from that
sleepy, fuzzy state inside your head to a more alert, more active, ready to, you
know, take in whatever happens the rest of the day, and then you look out. You
look out your window, you look out, you know, whatever it is that you're doing,
you're reading the paper, whatever it may be, I don't know, and for me it's, for me
it's kind of looking out the window, that's why I use that example, and you
have that moment, just kind of a moment in nature. You know, some people sit on
their back patio, and they look out, and they have that moment in nature, and in
that moment you really do feel a part of everything. You feel as if your, your
love and respect for the things around you is so great that it really does set
up the whole rest of your day, and like I said, many people don't really
realize that they do this, they just do it, because it's just their ritual, but if
you really take a moment and you think about what you go through every morning,
the kind of way that you get going, most people are gonna find that we have this
one or two, these one or two moments that we kind of steal for ourselves, get our
mind right, to get us ready to go, get us moving. Now obviously this quote that I'm
focusing on here says a lot more than just that, but this is an example of what
I'm talking about, and what I believe, had he not lived in 1612 or whatever,
he would, he would also think this way. Gratitude bestows reverence. It allows us
to sit there, and these everyday epiphanies he's talking about are
literally just that. They're things that you do every day, or things that
you may encounter every day, that you're just so grateful for, that they can
change the way you see the world, they can change the way you see your life. I'm,
I'm actively, for those of you that follow me on TikTok, and those of you
that have listened to the podcast, you know that I am actively in my life
trying to incorporate many of the things that I talk about and on these
platforms, and one of the things that I'm doing is when I'm going out into the
world, whether it be the grocery store or to a basketball game or whatever it may
be, I'm trying to actively engage with people, and that really started to, I
really started to understand what that can do with the basketball games, for
those of you that don't know. I have season tickets that I absolutely love to
my favorite team, the Orlando Magic, and so I go to every game, and it was with
this kind of change and this, this conscious effort to decide to engage
with people that I've really seen some crazy things happen. There was a
situation a few, well a few months ago now, where I had the opportunity to kind
of, I guess you could say take care of some of the folks in the area that I sit,
because you know with season tickets you always sit in the same place, and I
don't have like great seats. I mean for me I think they're wonderful, but you
know I'm, it's not like I'm paying out the nose for them or anything, they're
actually really really good price, and that's why I have them, but the, the
people in my area, there's three or four season ticket holders, and one of them is
an older gentleman who's a disabled veteran, and he you know he wears a hat
and he has to use a scooter and stuff like that, and the place that I sit is
actually a place that is for disabled folks, which is kind of odd, but they
allow you to buy the seats there, so, and so a lot of the people that will just
show up and sit there are disabled, so I you know I tend to help them out and
things like that, and at this one point a few months ago I had the opportunity to
to help everybody in the area get some of the prizes that they give out of the
games and things like that, and we didn't get any in this area, so I just went and
I made sure that everybody got some. It took me a little running around and a
little bit of talking to some folks, but I made sure that everybody in our area
was able to receive these, those are some t-shirts, and ever since then, and this is
I mean this is literally like this guy's a season ticket holder, he's there
basically every game too, every day I go to a game, this guy comes up to me and
shakes my hand, grabs me by the arm and says thank you, thank you, and what's
crazy is I was just a t-shirt, but he has shown gratitude towards me
every single day since then, and I think the reason is is because he understands
that I didn't have to do that, it was just something I was doing because I
wanted to be kind, and I think that a lot of people kind of overlook him
because he doesn't you know he kind of just he's on a scooter so he kind of
just rolls around, he doesn't really say much, he kind of keeps to himself, and so
a lot of the people in the in the area that we sit in they don't really
engage with him, and the fact that I did really really I mean every time I see
him he's got a big smile, he's really respectful, he's really and then he's I
mean he's a veteran so obviously I'm respectful back, but he's just
one small example of what I'm talking about with this this kind of feeling
that I have of kind of gratitude because every time I see him now I
understand where he's coming from so I go up and I you know I've even come up
give him a hug and been like hey man you okay you feeling good you need anything
you know I I offered to go get him a drink so he doesn't have to go out there
and do it I offered to go buy him popcorn if he wants me to whatever you
know I'm trying to help him but even with the usher that is usually by our
by our seats that one that she knows me by by face she she recognizes me she
knows where my seats are and she's always there to help out and she's just
great and so I talked to her every time I'm there and I make sure that she's
I'll tell her you know do you need me to grab you a drink since you can't leave
do you need me is there anything I can do and what I'm doing with that is I'm
not just trying to be kind I'm trying to show them that I am grateful for their
presence I'm trying to show them through my actions and my words and the feelings
that I'm projecting just how much I appreciate these people being there and
it's funny I actually the guy that sits next to me is a season ticket holder and
I've done everything I can to try to form a friendship with him he's a great
guy and he makes being at the games so much more fun than they were before when
I would just have random people sitting next to me and it was funny because when
we were deciding whether or not we were gonna pick up our season tickets for the
next season we need we barely know each other we just talk at games but both of
us told the guy that we were the ticket rep that we were talking to we were
both we both said you know individually in phone calls to our ticket rep well
let me talk to the guy I sit next to we didn't even know each other's name at
the time really let me talk to the guy I sit next to because if he's not gonna
re-up then I might change my mind and in all of these friendships relationships
connections they all come with a sense of gratitude with a sense of respect
with a sense of understanding with a sense of appreciation but it all starts
with gratitude it all starts with me being grateful for being in the position
I'm in with these season tickets me being grateful for having these people
around me me being grateful for the services that they provide and and it
really does it you know it can be difficult to really understand what that
all means if you're not in the position but I promise you that if you start to
try to approach every person you can in your life with this kind of sense of I
am so grateful that you're in my life I am so grateful for what you give to me
that you will start to understand exactly what this quote is about and I
really I'm sorry to have to keep going on about it but it really was one of
those things where as I as I was reading and as I was studying it hit me and it
was just like a bolt of lightning I was like this is exactly what I need to talk
about here this idea because as funny as it may seem I especially on on tik-tok I
often get reminded of the fact that my my channel and my podcast are a pebble
in a pond and it's funny because some people don't even realize the way we'll
don't even look at my channel name before they comment and they you know
say oh well you know the small things that you do and I'll be like yeah that's
why the it's named that's why that's why I named it what it is is because these
are small things that we can do and you know they just they don't realize it and
so they're like oh yeah okay but this is this is at the heart of what this quote
is about gratitude bestows reverence allowing us to encounter everyday
epiphanies those transcendent moments awe that changed forever how we
experienced life in the world those moments are transcendent not
necessarily because they are great in scope but because they are those moments
that you begin to truly move outside of yourself and become something more and
that is what happens when you show gratitude not just for the the moments or
the people but when you try to expand it to as much as you can try to build a
field of gratitude around you so that when you are dealing with the world you
know when you take a drink of water and you can say man this water is good she
have true gratitude for the fact that you have that good water I know that's
difficult I know it's something that we usually say for Thanksgiving right like
it's it's not something that we do with every point in our life and it's
difficult even for me but sometimes you know when you when you get into this
mindset and you really are trying to practice it and exercise it sometimes
you find yourself accidentally slipping into it and that's a really refreshing
feeling and that's how you know that it's working is because you'll be
sitting there and you won't you'll just be going about doing your day and
something will happen or somebody will say something and you'll think man I'm
really grateful that this person's in my life or man I'm really grateful that
they make cheddar and sour cream ruffles you know it whatever it could be and it
seems so silly to say it like that and I know I'm making a bit of a joke about it
but it really does it changed everything about the way that you see the world
everything about the way you interact with people and because it does because
these these everyday epiphanies do exactly what John Milton said they they
creates these transcendent moments that where all of a sudden you find yourself
just being so grateful for so many things and you your heart is full of
love and and all you want to do is share it when you get to that point and trust
me it is an amazing point it's not something that I can maintain and it's
not something that I have all the time but it is something that is so real to
me now it's it's unlike anything I ever thought I could feel or even understand
and I'm not gonna lie even just saying those words out loud it make me emotional
I don't know if you can tell in my voice or not I'm getting a little bit better
controlling it but it really does it it fills you with this this desire to just
spread this emotion and spread this feeling because it's so good that it
almost feels like you're greedy to not share it with others you want people to
feel grateful for you you want you want to have that effect on people you want
to reach out and lift them up and make them better and make their life better
because not only do you want them to be grateful for you but you want them to
start to feel how you feel and it all starts with this gratitude it all
starts with understanding just how important and special the small tiny
things that you often will overlook really are in your life that cup of
coffee that look out the window that moment that you have in the morning to
yourself those are the things you should be grateful for those are how you start
and from there you keep building Cicero Roman statesman once said gratitude is
not only the greatest of virtues but the parent of all the others and that that
that quote was the one I said I was gonna mention it was a little bit more
than a few minutes but that's the one that I it really is kind of a gateway it
really gratitude when you start with gratitude when you understand that that
feeling exactly what it means to have gratitude in your life and in your heart
you understand how how it can open up the door for so many other things so
what is the difference that I alluded to between gratitude and appreciation now
before I really get into this I want to make sure that it's understood that both
of these are things that you want in your life these are both things that you
should practice you should appreciate you should try to hone and become better
at not just not just experiencing and feeling it for yourself but spreading it
to others understanding exactly what these two terms mean and how they play
off of each other is really a key to understanding which one you're feeling
and how you can react and how you can build on whichever one it may be so one
of the first and this is probably the the biggest and the easiest way to
define the two and that's why I'm starting with this is because some of
the other ones get a little muddied but one of the easiest and best ways to
understand the difference between gratitude and appreciation is gratitude
is something that you feel inside of yourself gratitude is something that it
is it's in your heart it's in your it's in your soul it's in your body it's it's
it's inside of you gratitude is is your way of feeling your way of dealing with
whatever it is you're grateful for it's it is literally a singular thing inside
of yourself now what happens when you want to show gratitude you show it
through appreciation appreciation is how you extend your gratitude so I hope that
that's clear gratitude is something that you have inside of yourself gratitude is
is a feeling that you carry when someone gives you something or treats you a
certain way or you're thankful for a situation being the way that it is or
whatever it may be and I alluded to the Thanksgiving thing earlier but like that
that kind of stuff right like you can sit there and you can literally you know
count your blessings at the Thanksgiving table those are the things that you have
gratitude for now you show gratitude through appreciation appreciation is
what you kind of give to others when you are grateful for somebody you show them
appreciation you you try to imbue that feeling into them now the feeling is
very similar the feeling of appreciation and the feeling of gratitude are they're
very similar but when you are talking about the the differences between them
the easiest way to boil it down is one is interior and one is exterior a good
example of this is when say you're in a relationship or you know it doesn't have
to be romantic it'd be a friendship whatever it may be some sort of
relationship with someone and they do something that is very kind say we'll
just use the example of a romantic relationship for this because it's
easier so we'll say that somebody you know the husband brings the wife
flowers now he's his reasons for doing that aren't necessarily that you know
he's he's showing appreciation or anything like that but he is absolutely
you know whatever his reason may be I'm not gonna I'm not gonna say that there's
necessarily always a good reason for giving somebody flowers but she is going
to feel that the wife is going to feel grateful for that right so maybe he's
showing his appreciation for her so he goes and he buys her flowers brings that
appreciation home to her she then feels grateful on the inside and then what
happens she shows him her appreciation you know he she you know it says let's
go out for a movie and a dinner or you know whatever you know so they they
hug and they kiss and they they enjoy some time together they have a moment
with each other because she's showing her appreciation for his her the
gratitude that she that he has made her feel that was really hard for me to say
she is showing appreciation for the gratitude that he has he has instilled
in her that he has kind of you know through his act of appreciation and his
act of love she now feels warm and fuzzy and wants to show him and wants to do
the same to him is that kind of clear the way that I said that I hope it is
because I was really confusing in my own head when I was saying it but I'm not
I'm not I'm doing making a real effort to not sit here and record over things
and and mess with it a lot with editing because I want you guys to hear me as
I'm going through this as I'm as I'm speaking from the heart and so when I say
stuff like that that's kind of confusing I'm just gonna leave it in most of the
time unless it's really confusing and I start to swear because I'm frustrated
then I'll probably cut it out but you guys are gonna get all of my figuring it
out and you know all as we go so it's just just a little aside there for you
and this is the the one the one thing that it I've kind of alluded to it but I
want to say it just straight up this is the most important thing with that with
that quote by Cicero the quote the Cicero quote gratitude is not only the
greatest of virtues but the parent of all the others that this is exactly what
I'm talking about and this is this is important you cannot show appreciation
to someone unless you feel gratitude right so that's really important to
understand and that's why I feel kind of stupid having done an episode on
appreciation before I did an episode on gratitude because you really must have
gratitude first gratitude is where it starts gratitude is exactly the the
magic formula that you need inside of yourself to start to show appreciation
and once you start to show appreciation that is what keeps relationships strong
that is what keeps friendships strong that is what makes people want to be
around you and appreciate you in return and feel grateful for you in return it
is so important to understand that it starts with being grateful with with
having gratitude now I'm gonna start to talk about some of the ways that you can
really practice gratitude and it really is very simple but when I when I started
this when I started taking notes on this another quote that really just it just
sung to me and this one is is not I mean it's simple it's a simple quote but
just just this is a many of you know I use quotes from him all the time and
this is actually my mom turned me on him when I was very young she used to
listen to his motivational books on tape and stuff like that he used to do
seminars but dr. Wayne Dyer who obviously he's been dead for years now
but he has a wealth of quotes that I've used throughout all my tick-tock videos
and even on here and this one was maybe one of my favorite quotes from him and
he just said give yourself a gift of five minutes of contemplation in awe of
everything you see around you go outside and turn your attention to the many
miracles around you this five minute a day regimen of appreciation and
gratitude will help you to focus your life in awe and what's what's amazing
about that quote to me is and I've detailed this on tick-tock and and I have
talked about it here in the podcast when I go out every day now I go out and I
make at least one video for tick-tock which you know doesn't take that long it
takes me about 20 minutes to make a video but oftentimes I will go and I will
just sit now when I say go outside obviously I'm making my my videos in the
car which is outside now sometimes I will be out driving and I'll pull over
and I'll be in a parking lot or something but for the most part if I'm
like really punching in and getting ready to make a bunch of videos it's
just in my front yard but when I go out there and I start to try to get you know
a lot of times I'll walk outside and I'll just say I need I need to make
videos because I need to have them you know I need to make content to build
this channel and so I go out there and I I don't have anything in mind I I
genuinely don't so many times I go out there and I just don't have anything in
my head at all I'm just thinking I need to go make some videos I don't I'm not
I'm not coming out there with a topic I don't necessarily come out there with
with an agenda I'm just go out there and my process when I'm doing that which is
very very often more often than not actually my process is really simple and
I didn't really I never really thought about what I was doing and I'm not this
is I'm not just saying this for this episode this is I never thought about
it until I started to research this episode I just sit in the car and I look
out the window and if it's a if it's a bright sunny day that's great if it's
overcast that's fine it doesn't really matter what I do is I just kind of look
out the window and I look for the birds any birds flying and I look up at the
clouds if there's any in the sky and I look at the the color of the blue if
it's blue sky out and I just kind of I it's really funny you know even thinking
about it right now it's just seems weird that I hadn't really recognized it but I
find that my inspiration comes from me sitting there genuinely feeling
grateful for those things I actually made a video some time ago it's probably
a couple months ago now of me just kind of appreciating the trees that I sit
under and that's what I realized I really am grateful that that's what that
that's where a lot of my content comes from that's one of the reasons I think
that people you know those that follow me on tik-tok that the people see me as
being positive even though a lot of the stuff I say isn't really that positive I
think that I think that people can kind of sense that a lot of what I'm saying
comes from the mind the mindfulness and the state of mind of being truly
grateful and I'm not just grateful for you know the trees and the blue sky and
the birds I'm grateful for the fact that I'm sitting there I'm grateful for the
fact that I'm kind of just able to clear my mind and kind of just let it go and
just say what I want to say I'm grateful that I've that I've found a way to kind
of get these thoughts out and get these feelings out because while I can't
really tell you that I mean not honestly at least I can't tell you honestly that
that this is something I ever thought about doing now that I'm doing it the
podcast and the tik-tok channel now that I'm doing it I I don't know why I never
did it now it's easy for me to kind of look back now and say well this is why
and and the reason why I never did is because I was depressed for 15 years I
didn't feel like I had anything that anybody wanted to say I wanted to hear
and I I felt like anything I had to say would would do more harm than good so I
had you know when you're depressed you just convince yourself that you're a
giant pile of shit and nobody wants to hear you and you're a burden so that's
how I felt and that's why the idea of putting myself out there was terrifying
and I you know I just knew that nobody would appreciate what I had to say I
just knew that I wasn't gonna be able to help anybody but now and this is really
the key now I know that while I've said this a hundred thousand times and I'm
sure I'll say it a hundred thousand more I'm not really out of my depression I'm
through my depression and now that I'm through it and I'm kind of looking at it
in a different angle and I'm trying to understand it a little better and I'm
really more aware of myself and my my emotional state and my mind state I find
myself thinking about it and just feeling so grateful not not that I'm you
know on this weird other side of depression kind of mind state but that I
feel like I have something to say that people want to hear and I feel like I
can help people and I'm really grateful for that so I sit there in the car and I
I you know what it is is is when I sit there and I think all these things what
I really arrive at is I'm grateful to have the clarity of understanding that
I'm worthwhile that I'm I'm not what the depression told me that I was and that I
now can use my voice and I can use my mind and I can help make a difference in
this world and that that right there is how I start making my videos and like I
said it's it wasn't it wasn't a conscious thought necessarily it was just this I
was focusing on just trying to let whatever whatever this is whatever these
messages whatever these ideas that I have I was just trying to let them in and
now that I have kind of spent this time working on this episode and really going
into some of the learning about what gratitude means and exactly how it's
supposed to feel and I just find myself so full of gratitude so often for just
the smallest things and I really do genuinely believe that it is because
every day I go sit in the car and I spend five minutes just appreciating and
feeling gratitude for that moment right before I'm about to record those videos
it is it is quite literally what dr. Wayne Dyer was talking about in that
quote I give myself a gift of five minutes of contemplation in awe of
everything I see around me I go outside I turn my attention to the many miracles
around me five minutes a day regimen of appreciation and gratitude will help to
focus my life in awe and that's exactly what it has done so when I read these
quotes sometimes the information or the sentiment or whatever maybe may not
apply to your life but as as we go into this next section and I start to talk
about the things you can do to start to heighten hone and exercise your gratitude
I want you to understand how important this quote is because I can tell you
from firsthand experience that it will literally change your life so trust me
on this one of all of the the points of discussion of all the things that I've
talked about in 16 episodes of this podcast this is one of the ones that I
have already done and I have seen and reaped the rewards of so I can tell you
that if you take five minutes a day sitting and appreciating and showing
gratitude for where you are what you're doing who you're with what you have in
your hand whatever it is if you do that I promise you that your life will change
and you will start to see and feel things that you never thought were
possible okay so I I'm not gonna lie about this this was one of those one of
those episodes and one of those topics that I did have to kind of really think
about and I did a lot of digging to try to come up with some ideas for this
particular part because you know in every episode I try to I try to find
practical ways practical ideas practical exercises that you can kind of use to
try to put yourself in whatever mindset or mindset I keep on using mind state I
don't know why I keep saying that but it holds up here so I looked around quite a
bit and and I'm just gonna go through a few of these ideas because for one I
want to try to keep the episode shorter than episode 15 because that one was as
my mom says a little long so we're gonna try to keep this one a little bit
shorter and so I'm just gonna get through a few of these exercises or a
few of these ideas of things that you can do to really kind of heighten and
hone your feelings your feelings of gratitude and the first one I'm not
gonna lie this is not one that I have done and it's not one that I necessarily
can speak to in terms of its effectiveness but when I read multiple
articles and multiple studies on on different ways to you know increase
your your gratitude this one popped up multiple times and so I thought well you
know everybody's saying it so it's got to have some merit here and it would you
know when you think about it it really does hold up so one of the easiest and
and best ways to really start to hone your way of showing gratitude is to
start to journal now some of you already do this I know that but it you can
literally write on the cover of your journal a gratitude journal and and what
I mean by that is you don't you don't need to journal in in the traditional
sense where you kind of like Dear Diary kind of stuff you are literally going to
make this journal just be about moments and ideas and feelings of gratitude that
you have throughout the day and the reason you do that is because it
reinforces them and it gives you a way to remind yourself of what you have to
be grateful for so if you go through your day and you know somebody says oh I
really like your hair or hey I really like those shoes or you know whatever it
may be and you feel that kind of sense of gratitude for those compliments or
for who that person was you know who they've been in your life the fact that
they've been a good friend of yours whatever it may be you know all of these
things are things that you just take a moment and write them down and you can
repeat and you can you know have the same journal entry that says the same
thing over and over again but I promise you that if you do that for you know a
few weeks a month and then you go back and you read those first few pages you
read those first couple sentiments what you're going to realize and I promise
you this is how it works even though I haven't done it myself I know this is how
it works because I have seen something like it in my actual life what you'll
notice is that the first few entries are gonna be let's say five things seven
things but as you as you do it more and more you're gonna find that five to seven
turns into a ten to twelve and that ten to twelve will slowly turn into a sixteen
to twenty and you're gonna find that you're gonna not want to write in your
journal anymore because there's gonna just be so many things to write that
you're gonna be like I've already written this I'm not gonna write it
again so then you're gonna start to see that sixteen to twenty turn into a one
or two and you're gonna in your initial inclination when you think like that or
when I say that is oh no like it's not working but the reality is is that it's
working so well that you don't even bother to write those other things
you're not taking them for granted you just already know how grateful for you
you are for each of those things and now you're just adding to the list because
your your your gratitude and your gratefulness for those things is
automatic at that point in time you don't even need to write that shit down
anymore and that's exactly what this kind of thing can do that's exactly the
kind of practice that you want to employ to grow and really hone that feeling of
gratitude the next idea that I found that I really do like is one that is it
is I guess journaling adjacent but this is an exercise and what makes this this
great is that this is something that you can do with friends this is something
you can do with with partners and and and lovers and so on and so forth this
is something that you can do that will really help any relationship but also
and most importantly your relationship with yourself so for this you're gonna
get out a piece of paper or you know use your computer whatever and you're gonna
type in some prompts and you're gonna do this before you're with your friends or
whatever so you can print it out and you can have this ready and and the idea is
you know you you're gonna give everybody some sheets of paper and you
can do this at parties too if you want to you can have groups of people do this
it's it's not it doesn't have to be you know solo or a partner experience only
you can do this with a few people but you're gonna write down and you don't
have to just follow all of these if you think of others that you want to do
definitely put them in there but you're just gonna write down things like this
you're gonna write down I'm grateful for three things I hear blank and then
you're gonna write the idea is they write down you I'm sorry excuse me you
or them they write down three things that you're grateful that you hear and
then you're gonna you're gonna just have a list of prompts like that you're gonna
say I'm grateful for three things that I see or three things that I smell or
three things that I touch feel three things that I taste and you can go down
you can say three animals three birds three three of my friends three you know
mentors teachers anything you can literally put anything in there I'm
grateful for three of blank and as you think of things just add them to the
list add them to the to the idea you could even take those and write them
down or print them out or you know type them out and print them up and cut them
and make little cards out of them so that you can then put them in a jar and
you can have a game where you just sit there and you talk about the things that
you're grateful for now not everybody is gonna have a great time with that not
everybody wants to do that kind of you know emotional work but it is something
you can certainly do especially with a couple and and you know even with your
kids it's a great exercise to do with kids because it's something that you know
you can start to impress upon them at a very early age just how important the
concept of gratitude really is and if they struggle to come up with answers
you without without without moving them too much without trying to influence them
too much you can certainly start to try to point things out to them because
their awareness might not be where it should be and you know you want to make
sure that you're kind of pointing them in the right direction another then this
is kind of a no-brainer option but I should mention it just so that we're
safe another great way to kind of focus and practice gratitude is meditation and
if you meditate if you're somebody who uses that or employs those that you know
that kind of exercise you probably already know this and you probably
already think this way but but it's really kind of like I said it's kind of
a no-brainer you get into a meditative state you get relaxed you get
comfortable you and then you just focus on the things that you're truly grateful
for the things that bring that sense of joy and wonder to your heart that
you want them to have right that you want to have you really want to try to
when you're going into this meditative state you really want to try to keep it
on the positive side of things so you don't want to try to slip into like I
said earlier you don't want to start slipping into you know meditating about
how happy you are that you're not with your ex-wife you know I mean you don't
want to think like that you want it to be I'm happy that I get to spend time
with my son not I'm happy that I you know don't see my ex-wife anymore you
want it you you want to focus on the good things you want it you want to
really have positive energy while you're doing this this kind of meditation so
try to do away with the gratefulness that you know whatever negative thought
you may have and just focus on the positive things and the last the last
idea and this was this honestly was just my idea because this is one of the ways
that I have expressed gratitude in my life and I mean it's not gonna work for
everybody and it's not necessarily for everybody but for me music is a central
part of my life and it is the key to unlocking entire segments of my mind and
my memories so oftentimes when I want to really sink into not really a meditative
trance or anything like that but kind of just a state of true gratitude I will
turn on you know certain music and certain songs that that fill me with
that kind of that kind of feeling a really good one for me and some people
are gonna laugh at this but is the song may it be by Inya which is the song that
is played at the end of the Fellowship of the Ring the first Lord of the Rings
movie that song is hauntingly beautiful and oftentimes when I hear it I it does
it fills me with this kind of warm powerful feeling and it's easy to
understand in that moment with that song playing exactly how great how important
gratitude is and how how I'm feeling it in that moment now you obviously
everybody has different different music and different tastes and things like
that but what's great about music is that it is is the kind of gratitude that
you can keep for yourself but you can also share it with others and there's
nothing that some people appreciate more than getting a text message with a
Spotify link oh I was thinking about you here's this song oh hey I was just you
know here's this for you or you know and and and it really does kind of hammer in
how somebody makes you feel how much you love them how much you appreciate them
and when you're able to do that you really can kind of it just it feels good
for both parts right like because you get to really share not just not just
your gratitude but you get to share something that you personally love and
if so if the person that's receiving it is appreciative of it it just feels
amazing it's a connection that is hard to replicate and hard to find anywhere
else and so with the newfound recipes for
gratitudinal success I don't know if that's a word but uh with with these
things in mind I think that we're gonna go ahead and wrap this up I I have
really truly enjoyed recording this episode it is so refreshing to be able
to talk about something other than regret and doing the research into this
which I'm not gonna lie has not been as extensive as it normally would be
because I really have been juggling which direction I want to go each week
or each each episode now I mentioned this in a tick-tock that I posted so I
want to make sure I mention it here I have some big some big episodes some big
concepts and ideas that will be coming up but a few of them are going to be
multi multi-part episodes so I will release those usually like within a day
or two of each other but I know that for one instance one that is going to be
multiple parts is going to be the episode on love I don't know when I'll
be ready to start recording that I still have a lot of work on how I'm gonna
kind of frame it and then there's gonna be some multi-parts for for negative ones
as well and for some other kind of bigger concepts so one of those that I
mentioned in the in the tick-tock video is I'm going to be doing an episode on
depression namely my experience with depression and give people an idea of
like where it came from what I've done to work with it how I understand it and
really I want to be able to show or I guess talk about what it what it's like
for those of you that do not suffer with true debilitating depression I want to
make an episode that will truly make you understand it so that you can then
better help those around you that suffer from it and when I do this episode
there's a very good chance that it ends up being a multi-part episode as well
because it is such a large topic and I have so much personal information that I
would want to share that I'm you know it is a good chance of it also a possible
episode that's coming up and this may be a while still but I wanted to make sure
that it got out there because I know that some folks have asked me about it
on on the tick-tock channel I have told stories numerous stories about this
friend of mine that I no longer speak to and we've had a big falling out and I get
messages about her quite often and because I talk about her so much on the
tick-tock channel it is very obvious to many people just how important she was
to me so there will probably be in the nearest near ish future an episode
dedicated to telling the story of all of that and exactly what happened and how
it all came down and the reason why that may be delayed or maybe a while is
because it's still very very painful and it still is not happening now but like
for me I'm still processing a lot of it and I want to make sure that there is a
lesson and that it's not just an hour-long bitch vest on my part so I
want to make sure that I can frame these things in a way that folks
understand exactly what I have gone through what my friend has gone through
and also do it without obviously you know saying anything hurtful or hateful
I'm just I just want to speak the truth so that people can understand it
where I'm at and I think that if I do that episode the reason why I really
have thought about doing it a lot is because I want people to really
understand who I am and she was a formative influence for me for many
years and so it's important to to know where I am now to understand where I
have been and I think that's really important so those are the those are the
plans I'm not there I don't have a schedule set for these yet and I don't
I can't promise you that it's that those multi-part episodes are going to be
real soon there's a little bit more that goes into doing this because of the way
that I have to release them and upload them and things like that the way that I
have to tag them so I just have to study it a little bit more and really get get
figured all out once I once I have that I'm gonna go ahead and do that plus and
this is still very much up in the air I have the possibility of very soon
recording a couple episodes varying topics with some guests so you're not
just gonna have to listen to me ramble on for an hour each time so I wanted to
let let get all that clerical stuff out of the way and make sure everybody knew
that and now I think we're gonna go ahead and wrap it up with another quote
and this quote is by a lady named Jen Sincero who you may know you may not but
for for Christmas my sister got me a word of the day calendar kind of thing
where you know where you peel off the pages and the calendar she got me is
called you are a bad or you are a badass and it's based on a book I didn't know
that when she got it for me but it's based on a book called you are a badass
Jen Sincero is the lady that wrote that and and she's very she's an inspirational
speaker and author and things like that and she's she's got a great sense of
humor and she has a way of delivering some important information in a way that
is easily understandable so I'm not promoting her or anything I don't get
paid for this but you know it's worth looking into maybe her book and what she
has to say if you have the opportunity because I know that just reading the
calendar and even finding this quote makes me want to go read the book
myself which I have not done so I will leave you with this but let me say thank
you I appreciate you all that listen it means the world to me that I'm not just
screaming into the void here and for those of you that follow me on tick tock
please let me know what you think of the episode and you know be critical if you
if you'd like if you feel like I can do something better let me know if you feel
like I'm doing good let me know because it certainly does feel nice to be
appreciated for the amount of work that I put into these things so with that
said Jen Sincero said gratitude is one of the strongest and most transformative
states of being it shifts your perspective from lack to abundance and
allows you to focus on the good in your life which in turn pulls more goodness
into your reality and that is from all experience that I've had over these
past almost five months since this shift has taken place inside of me I can tell
you that without a doubt one of the most honest and true things that you will
ever read in your entire life it shifts your perspective from lack to abundance
and allows you to focus on the good in your life and that's what it's all about
folks focus on what you love focus on what you're grateful for focus on living
your life with gratitude every single day it's not gonna come easy it's not
gonna be natural you're gonna feel really silly sometimes but start with
the small things start with your morning rituals start with just the simple
things that you know you love and you know you're grateful for start with this
the people that you're most grateful for but really think about them really think
about why am I grateful for this person why am I grateful for this moment why am
I grateful for this really dive into it learn to appreciate it and when you
start to do that when you do it consciously when you do it over and over
and over again you I promise you it will become a natural state of being for you
you will feel gratitude for so much around you you will just want to just
grab as much of it as you can you'll want to experience that feeling for every
single moment of every single day and you're gonna want to share that feeling
you're gonna want people to you're gonna be so thirsty for it you're gonna be so
hungry for it that you're gonna want to share it and when you do you're gonna
really see the magic that can happen you're gonna really start to understand
exactly how powerful this shit is I can't tell you I can't tell you you have
to experience it yourself you have to feel it for yourself because I can tell
you this one thing five months ago I was ready to take my own life and today I am
so grateful that I did not because now I get to sit here and tell anybody that
listens to this how grateful I am not just to be here to say this to you but
to know that maybe just maybe in hearing this you will learn to feel this way
about yourself and it could if you do these things and if you start to live
this way change your life in a way that I could not imagine and I know that you
can't imagine right now either thank you for listening I appreciate you all very
much I will talk to you very soon take care of yourself and take care of others