1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:06,500 Hey there folks, welcome to episode 16 of a Pebble in a Pond podcast. Today's 2 00:00:06,500 --> 00:00:14,600 episode is about the concept and the idea and the feeling of gratitude. Now I'm 3 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:18,440 gonna start with a quote right away, I know that everybody enjoys those, so 4 00:00:18,440 --> 00:00:22,920 we're gonna go ahead and start with one that I really think sums up what we're 5 00:00:22,920 --> 00:00:28,600 gonna be talking about today. This is by the poet John Milton and he said 6 00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:34,880 gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those 7 00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:40,280 transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the 8 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:45,640 world. That really will get the ball rolling and I want to talk about that 9 00:00:45,640 --> 00:01:03,560 quote for just a few minutes but before we do that let's listen to the music. 10 00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:35,040 Tell you what, I have gratitude for that song because I really like that song. So 11 00:01:35,040 --> 00:01:40,180 let's go back to that quote. Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to 12 00:01:40,180 --> 00:01:45,480 encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change 13 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:51,460 forever how we experience life and the world. That really is, I mean obviously 14 00:01:51,460 --> 00:01:58,680 he's a poet or he was a poet so it for me to say it's poetic is a little 15 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:03,100 ridiculous but it really is. We'll get into the exact definition of gratitude 16 00:02:03,100 --> 00:02:06,840 and we'll try to make sure that everybody understands exactly what we're 17 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:10,160 talking about here but I just wanted to dive into this quote because it really 18 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:14,880 did, as I was looking up quotes for this episode, that one in particular 19 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:19,880 really struck me and the reason that it struck me is because just having your 20 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:23,600 basic, you know, just having the basic understanding of what gratitude is and 21 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:28,560 and then let's get that definition so that we have that. According to 22 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:36,200 dictionary.com, gratitude is the quality of being thankful, readiness to show 23 00:02:36,200 --> 00:02:43,600 appreciation for and to return kindness and there is no other definition. 24 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:51,320 However, and this is a big however, while that's not the only definition given by 25 00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:57,200 dictionary.com, that is not necessarily the wording that most people attribute 26 00:02:57,200 --> 00:03:01,880 to gratitude and that's one of the reasons why I wanted to do this episode 27 00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:08,320 was there's a popular conception of that word, a popular belief about that word 28 00:03:08,320 --> 00:03:13,520 and many people will conflate it with appreciation and we're gonna talk about 29 00:03:13,520 --> 00:03:17,600 this as we get a little bit further into the episode. We are gonna really dissect 30 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:22,200 the difference between these two things, gratitude and appreciation, because I 31 00:03:22,200 --> 00:03:25,800 have an episode on appreciation already so when I was deciding to do this 32 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:29,840 episode I had to kind of struggle with that, like is it worth doing a whole 33 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:32,840 episode about a concept that is essentially the same thing in most 34 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:37,400 people's minds and as I researched it more and more I began to understand 35 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:43,720 there is a very large difference that we're gonna get into here, but I want 36 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:46,920 you to kind of wrap your head around a different way of wording that 37 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:51,560 definition. So the dictionary definition is the quality of being thankful, 38 00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:56,280 readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. That's the 39 00:03:56,280 --> 00:04:00,600 dictionary definition. There's another version of this, but like I said this is 40 00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:04,640 this is a little bit more accepted as the more universal definition and that 41 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:10,480 definition is feeling or attitude and acknowledgement of a benefit that one 42 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:16,040 has received or will receive and I think that that is a little bit better and a 43 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:23,360 little bit more clear. Now here's the thing, gratitude is acknowledgement of 44 00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:27,760 receiving something. Now it doesn't have to be a physical object, it can be 45 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:32,880 anything, it can be an emotion, it can be a moment, it can be an experience, but 46 00:04:32,880 --> 00:04:40,960 it is the object or the idea of receiving something which is very very 47 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:50,240 integral to gratitude. You can't be grateful for nothing but you can be 48 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:56,440 grateful for the absence of something. Now just to make this clear and this 49 00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:59,080 we're still gonna go back to the quote so don't get don't get frustrated with 50 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:03,160 me. We wanted to make sure we understood the definition first. Just to make this 51 00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:09,560 clear it is possible to be grateful for the absence of let's say pain, the 52 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:17,600 absence of let's say judgment, the absence of a lack of understanding. 53 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:23,080 That's a double negative but you get what I'm trying to say. You can 54 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:28,640 be grateful, say you have a really bad relationship and then you break up 55 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:34,080 and then you are grateful for the lack of that relationship, right? You know for 56 00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:38,760 the relationship being gone. What's weird about this when you get into the like 57 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:42,600 those kind of examples and I really did think about this a lot, it's possible to 58 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:46,480 be grateful. Like if you're in a bad relationship it's possible to be 59 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:52,480 grateful for the relationship to be over while still somehow in a really weird 60 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:59,960 way being grateful to the person that the relationship is over with, right? 61 00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:04,080 Like you can actually love that person very much and be grateful for their 62 00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:09,000 existence and for what they brought into your life but still be grateful that the 63 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:13,080 relationship with them is over and it's that's kind of a weird thing but it is 64 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:19,160 possible to have that happen. So now that we have a definition for exactly what 65 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:27,080 gratitude is, let's revisit that quote one more time. Gratitude bestows reverence. 66 00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:33,280 Reverence, for those of you that may not know, is basically a deep respect. 67 00:06:33,280 --> 00:06:39,360 Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those 68 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:44,600 transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life and the 69 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:50,520 world. Now what exactly does this quote mean? What does it mean to you? Take a 70 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:55,760 moment, pause the podcast, and I want you to think about this. What is 71 00:06:55,760 --> 00:07:02,280 something in your life that you are grateful for, that you truly in your 72 00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:10,120 heart feel grateful for? Existing, having, being, whatever it may be, and how has 73 00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:19,440 that idea, object, moment, or emotion, how has it opened up yourself, opened up your 74 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:25,240 eyes, and opened up your heart to other things? Because this is what makes 75 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:30,840 gratitude such a powerful, powerful thing. I'm gonna get to another quote about 76 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:36,600 that in just a few minutes, but I want you to understand that that gratitude is 77 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:42,240 what... it's sort of the kind of thing that they used to call a gateway drug. 78 00:07:42,240 --> 00:07:46,880 You know, they used to say that the alcohol and marijuana are gateway drugs 79 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:50,800 because they lead to harder drugs. Gratitude works that way with emotions. 80 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:56,680 Gratitude is kind of the gateway to opening up the doors and opening up your 81 00:07:56,680 --> 00:08:06,520 heart to many, many positive emotions. It really does make you... it puts you in a 82 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:14,720 mindset, in a mind state, and an emotional space where you're ready to receive. It 83 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:18,400 really does do that, and one of the things that makes it so powerful is 84 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:26,320 exactly what he's talking about here. It bestows reverence. It gives you a deep 85 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:31,240 respect for whatever the thing is, whatever it is that you have gratitude 86 00:08:31,240 --> 00:08:37,720 for. I know that... and we'll just use this as an example... I know that many people, 87 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:43,960 including some that listen to this podcast, absolutely love their morning 88 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:50,560 ritual. It is the center of everything for them. They can't start their day and 89 00:08:50,560 --> 00:08:54,440 have a good day without their morning ritual. You know, they wake up whatever 90 00:08:54,440 --> 00:09:00,840 time they get their cup of coffee made, you know, and they go and they sit at 91 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:04,680 the window and they watch the sun come up or, you know, whatever it may be, or 92 00:09:04,680 --> 00:09:08,640 they watch the birds and the bird feeder. They watch... they have that 93 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:12,080 moment of peace, that moment of calm, and I know that that's how it is for a lot of 94 00:09:12,080 --> 00:09:15,960 people, and it's that kind of the repetition of it, but what is it that 95 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:20,080 you really appreciate? What is it that you really have gratitude for? And you'll 96 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,720 find that if you really sit and you think about something like that... now if 97 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:26,320 you don't have this ritual, then you know, think about whatever it is that you 98 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:31,120 have... that you are grateful for, that you have gratitude for. Now what is it about 99 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:35,320 that? For some people it's that... it's the ritual of it, right? For some people it's 100 00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:39,240 just the fact that this is what they've kind of programmed into themselves to 101 00:09:39,240 --> 00:09:44,120 be the start of their day, but for others it really is this... just this deep... and 102 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:48,040 they may not even know it. They may not... you may not be... have ever really put the 103 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:53,560 word to it, but there is a deep sense of peace and respect that comes with this. 104 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:59,680 You know, you get up, you're groggy, your mind's still fuzzy from sleep, you go 105 00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:04,280 over there, you do the coffee stuff, you get the coffee going, and all of 106 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:09,560 a sudden you smell it, and that gets you going, right? Because you know what's 107 00:10:09,560 --> 00:10:13,840 coming, and you know what to expect, and you go and you're, you know, getting 108 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:17,560 dressed, getting your whatever, doing whatever you do, brushing your hair, 109 00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:21,840 whatever it is, you go, you get your cup of coffee, and you sit down, and in that 110 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:28,040 moment where you're finally waking up, you're transitioning from that 111 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:34,680 sleepy, fuzzy state inside your head to a more alert, more active, ready to, you 112 00:10:34,680 --> 00:10:40,560 know, take in whatever happens the rest of the day, and then you look out. You 113 00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:43,600 look out your window, you look out, you know, whatever it is that you're doing, 114 00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:48,360 you're reading the paper, whatever it may be, I don't know, and for me it's, for me 115 00:10:48,360 --> 00:10:51,760 it's kind of looking out the window, that's why I use that example, and you 116 00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:57,640 have that moment, just kind of a moment in nature. You know, some people sit on 117 00:10:57,640 --> 00:11:03,040 their back patio, and they look out, and they have that moment in nature, and in 118 00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:12,360 that moment you really do feel a part of everything. You feel as if your, your 119 00:11:12,360 --> 00:11:19,360 love and respect for the things around you is so great that it really does set 120 00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:23,360 up the whole rest of your day, and like I said, many people don't really 121 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:28,480 realize that they do this, they just do it, because it's just their ritual, but if 122 00:11:28,480 --> 00:11:32,440 you really take a moment and you think about what you go through every morning, 123 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:37,360 the kind of way that you get going, most people are gonna find that we have this 124 00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:42,000 one or two, these one or two moments that we kind of steal for ourselves, get our 125 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:48,280 mind right, to get us ready to go, get us moving. Now obviously this quote that I'm 126 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:53,920 focusing on here says a lot more than just that, but this is an example of what 127 00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:59,920 I'm talking about, and what I believe, had he not lived in 1612 or whatever, 128 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:07,800 he would, he would also think this way. Gratitude bestows reverence. It allows us 129 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:14,120 to sit there, and these everyday epiphanies he's talking about are 130 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:19,520 literally just that. They're things that you do every day, or things that 131 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:24,920 you may encounter every day, that you're just so grateful for, that they can 132 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:31,200 change the way you see the world, they can change the way you see your life. I'm, 133 00:12:31,200 --> 00:12:35,040 I'm actively, for those of you that follow me on TikTok, and those of you 134 00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:39,560 that have listened to the podcast, you know that I am actively in my life 135 00:12:39,560 --> 00:12:45,560 trying to incorporate many of the things that I talk about and on these 136 00:12:45,560 --> 00:12:50,600 platforms, and one of the things that I'm doing is when I'm going out into the 137 00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:55,800 world, whether it be the grocery store or to a basketball game or whatever it may 138 00:12:55,800 --> 00:13:01,640 be, I'm trying to actively engage with people, and that really started to, I 139 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:07,720 really started to understand what that can do with the basketball games, for 140 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:13,400 those of you that don't know. I have season tickets that I absolutely love to 141 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:21,160 my favorite team, the Orlando Magic, and so I go to every game, and it was with 142 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:25,680 this kind of change and this, this conscious effort to decide to engage 143 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:30,520 with people that I've really seen some crazy things happen. There was a 144 00:13:30,520 --> 00:13:37,960 situation a few, well a few months ago now, where I had the opportunity to kind 145 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:42,280 of, I guess you could say take care of some of the folks in the area that I sit, 146 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:45,560 because you know with season tickets you always sit in the same place, and I 147 00:13:45,560 --> 00:13:48,920 don't have like great seats. I mean for me I think they're wonderful, but you 148 00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:51,640 know I'm, it's not like I'm paying out the nose for them or anything, they're 149 00:13:51,640 --> 00:13:58,080 actually really really good price, and that's why I have them, but the, the 150 00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:02,800 people in my area, there's three or four season ticket holders, and one of them is 151 00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:08,920 an older gentleman who's a disabled veteran, and he you know he wears a hat 152 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:12,720 and he has to use a scooter and stuff like that, and the place that I sit is 153 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:20,000 actually a place that is for disabled folks, which is kind of odd, but they 154 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:25,200 allow you to buy the seats there, so, and so a lot of the people that will just 155 00:14:25,200 --> 00:14:28,760 show up and sit there are disabled, so I you know I tend to help them out and 156 00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:35,160 things like that, and at this one point a few months ago I had the opportunity to 157 00:14:35,160 --> 00:14:41,920 to help everybody in the area get some of the prizes that they give out of the 158 00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:45,000 games and things like that, and we didn't get any in this area, so I just went and 159 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:48,920 I made sure that everybody got some. It took me a little running around and a 160 00:14:48,920 --> 00:14:52,720 little bit of talking to some folks, but I made sure that everybody in our area 161 00:14:52,720 --> 00:14:58,680 was able to receive these, those are some t-shirts, and ever since then, and this is 162 00:14:58,680 --> 00:15:01,800 I mean this is literally like this guy's a season ticket holder, he's there 163 00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:09,080 basically every game too, every day I go to a game, this guy comes up to me and 164 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:15,720 shakes my hand, grabs me by the arm and says thank you, thank you, and what's 165 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:21,320 crazy is I was just a t-shirt, but he has shown gratitude towards me 166 00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:29,160 every single day since then, and I think the reason is is because he understands 167 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:32,480 that I didn't have to do that, it was just something I was doing because I 168 00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:36,480 wanted to be kind, and I think that a lot of people kind of overlook him 169 00:15:36,480 --> 00:15:40,440 because he doesn't you know he kind of just he's on a scooter so he kind of 170 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:44,720 just rolls around, he doesn't really say much, he kind of keeps to himself, and so 171 00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:48,480 a lot of the people in the in the area that we sit in they don't really 172 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:53,320 engage with him, and the fact that I did really really I mean every time I see 173 00:15:53,320 --> 00:15:57,480 him he's got a big smile, he's really respectful, he's really and then he's I 174 00:15:57,480 --> 00:16:01,760 mean he's a veteran so obviously I'm respectful back, but he's just 175 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:05,720 one small example of what I'm talking about with this this kind of feeling 176 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:10,960 that I have of kind of gratitude because every time I see him now I 177 00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:14,880 understand where he's coming from so I go up and I you know I've even come up 178 00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:17,880 give him a hug and been like hey man you okay you feeling good you need anything 179 00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:21,240 you know I I offered to go get him a drink so he doesn't have to go out there 180 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:24,920 and do it I offered to go buy him popcorn if he wants me to whatever you 181 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:29,520 know I'm trying to help him but even with the usher that is usually by our 182 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:36,160 by our seats that one that she knows me by by face she she recognizes me she 183 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:39,880 knows where my seats are and she's always there to help out and she's just 184 00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:43,760 great and so I talked to her every time I'm there and I make sure that she's 185 00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:46,440 I'll tell her you know do you need me to grab you a drink since you can't leave 186 00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:49,720 do you need me is there anything I can do and what I'm doing with that is I'm 187 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:53,840 not just trying to be kind I'm trying to show them that I am grateful for their 188 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:58,880 presence I'm trying to show them through my actions and my words and the feelings 189 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:03,160 that I'm projecting just how much I appreciate these people being there and 190 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:06,920 it's funny I actually the guy that sits next to me is a season ticket holder and 191 00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:11,880 I've done everything I can to try to form a friendship with him he's a great 192 00:17:11,880 --> 00:17:18,120 guy and he makes being at the games so much more fun than they were before when 193 00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:22,200 I would just have random people sitting next to me and it was funny because when 194 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:26,860 we were deciding whether or not we were gonna pick up our season tickets for the 195 00:17:26,860 --> 00:17:33,080 next season we need we barely know each other we just talk at games but both of 196 00:17:33,080 --> 00:17:36,280 us told the guy that we were the ticket rep that we were talking to we were 197 00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:41,080 both we both said you know individually in phone calls to our ticket rep well 198 00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:43,760 let me talk to the guy I sit next to we didn't even know each other's name at 199 00:17:43,760 --> 00:17:47,120 the time really let me talk to the guy I sit next to because if he's not gonna 200 00:17:47,120 --> 00:17:52,200 re-up then I might change my mind and in all of these friendships relationships 201 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:59,040 connections they all come with a sense of gratitude with a sense of respect 202 00:17:59,040 --> 00:18:03,960 with a sense of understanding with a sense of appreciation but it all starts 203 00:18:03,960 --> 00:18:09,400 with gratitude it all starts with me being grateful for being in the position 204 00:18:09,400 --> 00:18:14,520 I'm in with these season tickets me being grateful for having these people 205 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:20,080 around me me being grateful for the services that they provide and and it 206 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:26,640 really does it you know it can be difficult to really understand what that 207 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:31,520 all means if you're not in the position but I promise you that if you start to 208 00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:38,320 try to approach every person you can in your life with this kind of sense of I 209 00:18:38,320 --> 00:18:43,520 am so grateful that you're in my life I am so grateful for what you give to me 210 00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:48,680 that you will start to understand exactly what this quote is about and I 211 00:18:48,680 --> 00:18:52,000 really I'm sorry to have to keep going on about it but it really was one of 212 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:57,440 those things where as I as I was reading and as I was studying it hit me and it 213 00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:02,760 was just like a bolt of lightning I was like this is exactly what I need to talk 214 00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:13,280 about here this idea because as funny as it may seem I especially on on tik-tok I 215 00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:22,360 often get reminded of the fact that my my channel and my podcast are a pebble 216 00:19:22,360 --> 00:19:25,920 in a pond and it's funny because some people don't even realize the way we'll 217 00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:29,400 don't even look at my channel name before they comment and they you know 218 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:32,520 say oh well you know the small things that you do and I'll be like yeah that's 219 00:19:32,520 --> 00:19:36,360 why the it's named that's why that's why I named it what it is is because these 220 00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:42,320 are small things that we can do and you know they just they don't realize it and 221 00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:47,080 so they're like oh yeah okay but this is this is at the heart of what this quote 222 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:51,960 is about gratitude bestows reverence allowing us to encounter everyday 223 00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:57,240 epiphanies those transcendent moments awe that changed forever how we 224 00:19:57,240 --> 00:20:03,880 experienced life in the world those moments are transcendent not 225 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:10,240 necessarily because they are great in scope but because they are those moments 226 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:17,040 that you begin to truly move outside of yourself and become something more and 227 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:22,200 that is what happens when you show gratitude not just for the the moments or 228 00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:27,080 the people but when you try to expand it to as much as you can try to build a 229 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:32,760 field of gratitude around you so that when you are dealing with the world you 230 00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:36,760 know when you take a drink of water and you can say man this water is good she 231 00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:41,640 have true gratitude for the fact that you have that good water I know that's 232 00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:44,920 difficult I know it's something that we usually say for Thanksgiving right like 233 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:48,000 it's it's not something that we do with every point in our life and it's 234 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:53,000 difficult even for me but sometimes you know when you when you get into this 235 00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:57,640 mindset and you really are trying to practice it and exercise it sometimes 236 00:20:57,640 --> 00:21:02,800 you find yourself accidentally slipping into it and that's a really refreshing 237 00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:06,080 feeling and that's how you know that it's working is because you'll be 238 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,880 sitting there and you won't you'll just be going about doing your day and 239 00:21:08,880 --> 00:21:12,920 something will happen or somebody will say something and you'll think man I'm 240 00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:17,040 really grateful that this person's in my life or man I'm really grateful that 241 00:21:17,040 --> 00:21:22,920 they make cheddar and sour cream ruffles you know it whatever it could be and it 242 00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:26,920 seems so silly to say it like that and I know I'm making a bit of a joke about it 243 00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:32,400 but it really does it changed everything about the way that you see the world 244 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:37,040 everything about the way you interact with people and because it does because 245 00:21:37,040 --> 00:21:45,040 these these everyday epiphanies do exactly what John Milton said they they 246 00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:48,760 creates these transcendent moments that where all of a sudden you find yourself 247 00:21:48,760 --> 00:21:54,400 just being so grateful for so many things and you your heart is full of 248 00:21:54,400 --> 00:22:01,200 love and and all you want to do is share it when you get to that point and trust 249 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:05,920 me it is an amazing point it's not something that I can maintain and it's 250 00:22:05,920 --> 00:22:09,600 not something that I have all the time but it is something that is so real to 251 00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:16,400 me now it's it's unlike anything I ever thought I could feel or even understand 252 00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:21,800 and I'm not gonna lie even just saying those words out loud it make me emotional 253 00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:25,040 I don't know if you can tell in my voice or not I'm getting a little bit better 254 00:22:25,040 --> 00:22:33,680 controlling it but it really does it it fills you with this this desire to just 255 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:39,880 spread this emotion and spread this feeling because it's so good that it 256 00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:46,640 almost feels like you're greedy to not share it with others you want people to 257 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:51,480 feel grateful for you you want you want to have that effect on people you want 258 00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:57,040 to reach out and lift them up and make them better and make their life better 259 00:22:57,040 --> 00:23:01,320 because not only do you want them to be grateful for you but you want them to 260 00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:07,560 start to feel how you feel and it all starts with this gratitude it all 261 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:13,040 starts with understanding just how important and special the small tiny 262 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:19,240 things that you often will overlook really are in your life that cup of 263 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:25,960 coffee that look out the window that moment that you have in the morning to 264 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:31,560 yourself those are the things you should be grateful for those are how you start 265 00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:41,920 and from there you keep building Cicero Roman statesman once said gratitude is 266 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:49,240 not only the greatest of virtues but the parent of all the others and that that 267 00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:53,960 that quote was the one I said I was gonna mention it was a little bit more 268 00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:59,120 than a few minutes but that's the one that I it really is kind of a gateway it 269 00:23:59,120 --> 00:24:05,760 really gratitude when you start with gratitude when you understand that that 270 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:11,920 feeling exactly what it means to have gratitude in your life and in your heart 271 00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:19,880 you understand how how it can open up the door for so many other things so 272 00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:27,520 what is the difference that I alluded to between gratitude and appreciation now 273 00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:33,520 before I really get into this I want to make sure that it's understood that both 274 00:24:33,520 --> 00:24:37,040 of these are things that you want in your life these are both things that you 275 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:43,720 should practice you should appreciate you should try to hone and become better 276 00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:49,320 at not just not just experiencing and feeling it for yourself but spreading it 277 00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:56,280 to others understanding exactly what these two terms mean and how they play 278 00:24:56,280 --> 00:25:02,200 off of each other is really a key to understanding which one you're feeling 279 00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:09,320 and how you can react and how you can build on whichever one it may be so one 280 00:25:09,320 --> 00:25:15,400 of the first and this is probably the the biggest and the easiest way to 281 00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:18,720 define the two and that's why I'm starting with this is because some of 282 00:25:18,720 --> 00:25:23,120 the other ones get a little muddied but one of the easiest and best ways to 283 00:25:23,120 --> 00:25:26,640 understand the difference between gratitude and appreciation is gratitude 284 00:25:26,640 --> 00:25:33,240 is something that you feel inside of yourself gratitude is something that it 285 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:37,280 is it's in your heart it's in your it's in your soul it's in your body it's it's 286 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:45,480 it's inside of you gratitude is is your way of feeling your way of dealing with 287 00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:50,720 whatever it is you're grateful for it's it is literally a singular thing inside 288 00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:58,520 of yourself now what happens when you want to show gratitude you show it 289 00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:08,600 through appreciation appreciation is how you extend your gratitude so I hope that 290 00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:12,600 that's clear gratitude is something that you have inside of yourself gratitude is 291 00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:17,880 is a feeling that you carry when someone gives you something or treats you a 292 00:26:17,880 --> 00:26:22,840 certain way or you're thankful for a situation being the way that it is or 293 00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:28,920 whatever it may be and I alluded to the Thanksgiving thing earlier but like that 294 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:33,320 that kind of stuff right like you can sit there and you can literally you know 295 00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:36,880 count your blessings at the Thanksgiving table those are the things that you have 296 00:26:36,880 --> 00:26:44,120 gratitude for now you show gratitude through appreciation appreciation is 297 00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:50,240 what you kind of give to others when you are grateful for somebody you show them 298 00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:55,960 appreciation you you try to imbue that feeling into them now the feeling is 299 00:26:55,960 --> 00:27:01,600 very similar the feeling of appreciation and the feeling of gratitude are they're 300 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:07,440 very similar but when you are talking about the the differences between them 301 00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:15,000 the easiest way to boil it down is one is interior and one is exterior a good 302 00:27:15,000 --> 00:27:20,600 example of this is when say you're in a relationship or you know it doesn't have 303 00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:23,680 to be romantic it'd be a friendship whatever it may be some sort of 304 00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:31,760 relationship with someone and they do something that is very kind say we'll 305 00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:34,480 just use the example of a romantic relationship for this because it's 306 00:27:34,480 --> 00:27:38,560 easier so we'll say that somebody you know the husband brings the wife 307 00:27:38,560 --> 00:27:46,000 flowers now he's his reasons for doing that aren't necessarily that you know 308 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:53,040 he's he's showing appreciation or anything like that but he is absolutely 309 00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:57,320 you know whatever his reason may be I'm not gonna I'm not gonna say that there's 310 00:27:57,320 --> 00:28:02,840 necessarily always a good reason for giving somebody flowers but she is going 311 00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:08,280 to feel that the wife is going to feel grateful for that right so maybe he's 312 00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:13,040 showing his appreciation for her so he goes and he buys her flowers brings that 313 00:28:13,040 --> 00:28:18,080 appreciation home to her she then feels grateful on the inside and then what 314 00:28:18,080 --> 00:28:24,840 happens she shows him her appreciation you know he she you know it says let's 315 00:28:24,840 --> 00:28:29,000 go out for a movie and a dinner or you know whatever you know so they they 316 00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:33,920 hug and they kiss and they they enjoy some time together they have a moment 317 00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:41,780 with each other because she's showing her appreciation for his her the 318 00:28:41,780 --> 00:28:45,840 gratitude that she that he has made her feel that was really hard for me to say 319 00:28:45,840 --> 00:28:50,280 she is showing appreciation for the gratitude that he has he has instilled 320 00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:54,400 in her that he has kind of you know through his act of appreciation and his 321 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:59,880 act of love she now feels warm and fuzzy and wants to show him and wants to do 322 00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:04,560 the same to him is that kind of clear the way that I said that I hope it is 323 00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:09,720 because I was really confusing in my own head when I was saying it but I'm not 324 00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:13,920 I'm not I'm doing making a real effort to not sit here and record over things 325 00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:18,760 and and mess with it a lot with editing because I want you guys to hear me as 326 00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:24,480 I'm going through this as I'm as I'm speaking from the heart and so when I say 327 00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:27,940 stuff like that that's kind of confusing I'm just gonna leave it in most of the 328 00:29:27,940 --> 00:29:31,920 time unless it's really confusing and I start to swear because I'm frustrated 329 00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:38,280 then I'll probably cut it out but you guys are gonna get all of my figuring it 330 00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:43,760 out and you know all as we go so it's just just a little aside there for you 331 00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:49,720 and this is the the one the one thing that it I've kind of alluded to it but I 332 00:29:49,720 --> 00:29:54,080 want to say it just straight up this is the most important thing with that with 333 00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:59,760 that quote by Cicero the quote the Cicero quote gratitude is not only the 334 00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:04,360 greatest of virtues but the parent of all the others that this is exactly what 335 00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:09,760 I'm talking about and this is this is important you cannot show appreciation 336 00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:17,080 to someone unless you feel gratitude right so that's really important to 337 00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:21,320 understand and that's why I feel kind of stupid having done an episode on 338 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:25,600 appreciation before I did an episode on gratitude because you really must have 339 00:30:25,600 --> 00:30:32,040 gratitude first gratitude is where it starts gratitude is exactly the the 340 00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:38,040 magic formula that you need inside of yourself to start to show appreciation 341 00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:43,920 and once you start to show appreciation that is what keeps relationships strong 342 00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:48,960 that is what keeps friendships strong that is what makes people want to be 343 00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:55,960 around you and appreciate you in return and feel grateful for you in return it 344 00:30:55,960 --> 00:31:01,600 is so important to understand that it starts with being grateful with with 345 00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:07,160 having gratitude now I'm gonna start to talk about some of the ways that you can 346 00:31:07,160 --> 00:31:14,760 really practice gratitude and it really is very simple but when I when I started 347 00:31:14,760 --> 00:31:22,000 this when I started taking notes on this another quote that really just it just 348 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:28,080 sung to me and this one is is not I mean it's simple it's a simple quote but 349 00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:34,520 just just this is a many of you know I use quotes from him all the time and 350 00:31:34,520 --> 00:31:38,920 this is actually my mom turned me on him when I was very young she used to 351 00:31:38,920 --> 00:31:42,320 listen to his motivational books on tape and stuff like that he used to do 352 00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:47,000 seminars but dr. Wayne Dyer who obviously he's been dead for years now 353 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:54,560 but he has a wealth of quotes that I've used throughout all my tick-tock videos 354 00:31:54,560 --> 00:32:00,280 and even on here and this one was maybe one of my favorite quotes from him and 355 00:32:00,280 --> 00:32:07,240 he just said give yourself a gift of five minutes of contemplation in awe of 356 00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:12,800 everything you see around you go outside and turn your attention to the many 357 00:32:12,800 --> 00:32:17,600 miracles around you this five minute a day regimen of appreciation and 358 00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:25,600 gratitude will help you to focus your life in awe and what's what's amazing 359 00:32:25,600 --> 00:32:30,400 about that quote to me is and I've detailed this on tick-tock and and I have 360 00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:36,040 talked about it here in the podcast when I go out every day now I go out and I 361 00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:42,720 make at least one video for tick-tock which you know doesn't take that long it 362 00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:47,560 takes me about 20 minutes to make a video but oftentimes I will go and I will 363 00:32:47,560 --> 00:32:52,960 just sit now when I say go outside obviously I'm making my my videos in the 364 00:32:52,960 --> 00:32:57,040 car which is outside now sometimes I will be out driving and I'll pull over 365 00:32:57,040 --> 00:33:00,360 and I'll be in a parking lot or something but for the most part if I'm 366 00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:03,680 like really punching in and getting ready to make a bunch of videos it's 367 00:33:03,680 --> 00:33:10,080 just in my front yard but when I go out there and I start to try to get you know 368 00:33:10,080 --> 00:33:13,080 a lot of times I'll walk outside and I'll just say I need I need to make 369 00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:17,440 videos because I need to have them you know I need to make content to build 370 00:33:17,440 --> 00:33:23,920 this channel and so I go out there and I I don't have anything in mind I I 371 00:33:23,920 --> 00:33:28,600 genuinely don't so many times I go out there and I just don't have anything in 372 00:33:28,600 --> 00:33:33,360 my head at all I'm just thinking I need to go make some videos I don't I'm not 373 00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:37,000 I'm not coming out there with a topic I don't necessarily come out there with 374 00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:43,240 with an agenda I'm just go out there and my process when I'm doing that which is 375 00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:51,880 very very often more often than not actually my process is really simple and 376 00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:57,360 I didn't really I never really thought about what I was doing and I'm not this 377 00:33:57,360 --> 00:34:01,840 is I'm not just saying this for this episode this is I never thought about 378 00:34:01,840 --> 00:34:07,000 it until I started to research this episode I just sit in the car and I look 379 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:12,240 out the window and if it's a if it's a bright sunny day that's great if it's 380 00:34:12,240 --> 00:34:16,160 overcast that's fine it doesn't really matter what I do is I just kind of look 381 00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:21,760 out the window and I look for the birds any birds flying and I look up at the 382 00:34:21,760 --> 00:34:26,640 clouds if there's any in the sky and I look at the the color of the blue if 383 00:34:26,640 --> 00:34:33,000 it's blue sky out and I just kind of I it's really funny you know even thinking 384 00:34:33,000 --> 00:34:37,760 about it right now it's just seems weird that I hadn't really recognized it but I 385 00:34:37,760 --> 00:34:44,240 find that my inspiration comes from me sitting there genuinely feeling 386 00:34:44,240 --> 00:34:49,760 grateful for those things I actually made a video some time ago it's probably 387 00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:54,240 a couple months ago now of me just kind of appreciating the trees that I sit 388 00:34:54,240 --> 00:34:59,320 under and that's what I realized I really am grateful that that's what that 389 00:34:59,320 --> 00:35:02,960 that's where a lot of my content comes from that's one of the reasons I think 390 00:35:02,960 --> 00:35:08,760 that people you know those that follow me on tik-tok that the people see me as 391 00:35:08,760 --> 00:35:14,200 being positive even though a lot of the stuff I say isn't really that positive I 392 00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:18,640 think that I think that people can kind of sense that a lot of what I'm saying 393 00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:26,800 comes from the mind the mindfulness and the state of mind of being truly 394 00:35:26,800 --> 00:35:32,040 grateful and I'm not just grateful for you know the trees and the blue sky and 395 00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:36,800 the birds I'm grateful for the fact that I'm sitting there I'm grateful for the 396 00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:42,680 fact that I'm kind of just able to clear my mind and kind of just let it go and 397 00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:49,160 just say what I want to say I'm grateful that I've that I've found a way to kind 398 00:35:49,160 --> 00:35:55,480 of get these thoughts out and get these feelings out because while I can't 399 00:35:55,480 --> 00:36:00,520 really tell you that I mean not honestly at least I can't tell you honestly that 400 00:36:00,520 --> 00:36:06,760 that this is something I ever thought about doing now that I'm doing it the 401 00:36:06,760 --> 00:36:14,720 podcast and the tik-tok channel now that I'm doing it I I don't know why I never 402 00:36:14,720 --> 00:36:19,560 did it now it's easy for me to kind of look back now and say well this is why 403 00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:27,160 and and the reason why I never did is because I was depressed for 15 years I 404 00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:31,200 didn't feel like I had anything that anybody wanted to say I wanted to hear 405 00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:37,000 and I I felt like anything I had to say would would do more harm than good so I 406 00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:41,560 had you know when you're depressed you just convince yourself that you're a 407 00:36:41,560 --> 00:36:47,920 giant pile of shit and nobody wants to hear you and you're a burden so that's 408 00:36:47,920 --> 00:36:55,480 how I felt and that's why the idea of putting myself out there was terrifying 409 00:36:55,480 --> 00:36:59,720 and I you know I just knew that nobody would appreciate what I had to say I 410 00:36:59,720 --> 00:37:05,520 just knew that I wasn't gonna be able to help anybody but now and this is really 411 00:37:05,520 --> 00:37:10,400 the key now I know that while I've said this a hundred thousand times and I'm 412 00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:15,080 sure I'll say it a hundred thousand more I'm not really out of my depression I'm 413 00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:18,600 through my depression and now that I'm through it and I'm kind of looking at it 414 00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:21,760 in a different angle and I'm trying to understand it a little better and I'm 415 00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:29,640 really more aware of myself and my my emotional state and my mind state I find 416 00:37:29,640 --> 00:37:37,960 myself thinking about it and just feeling so grateful not not that I'm you 417 00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:44,880 know on this weird other side of depression kind of mind state but that I 418 00:37:44,880 --> 00:37:50,880 feel like I have something to say that people want to hear and I feel like I 419 00:37:50,880 --> 00:37:57,840 can help people and I'm really grateful for that so I sit there in the car and I 420 00:37:57,840 --> 00:38:05,720 I you know what it is is is when I sit there and I think all these things what 421 00:38:05,720 --> 00:38:12,960 I really arrive at is I'm grateful to have the clarity of understanding that 422 00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:21,720 I'm worthwhile that I'm I'm not what the depression told me that I was and that I 423 00:38:21,720 --> 00:38:28,560 now can use my voice and I can use my mind and I can help make a difference in 424 00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:38,580 this world and that that right there is how I start making my videos and like I 425 00:38:38,580 --> 00:38:43,800 said it's it wasn't it wasn't a conscious thought necessarily it was just this I 426 00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:50,360 was focusing on just trying to let whatever whatever this is whatever these 427 00:38:50,360 --> 00:38:54,960 messages whatever these ideas that I have I was just trying to let them in and 428 00:38:54,960 --> 00:39:00,720 now that I have kind of spent this time working on this episode and really going 429 00:39:00,720 --> 00:39:08,760 into some of the learning about what gratitude means and exactly how it's 430 00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:18,640 supposed to feel and I just find myself so full of gratitude so often for just 431 00:39:18,640 --> 00:39:25,960 the smallest things and I really do genuinely believe that it is because 432 00:39:25,960 --> 00:39:36,200 every day I go sit in the car and I spend five minutes just appreciating and 433 00:39:36,200 --> 00:39:42,840 feeling gratitude for that moment right before I'm about to record those videos 434 00:39:42,840 --> 00:39:49,420 it is it is quite literally what dr. Wayne Dyer was talking about in that 435 00:39:49,420 --> 00:39:56,440 quote I give myself a gift of five minutes of contemplation in awe of 436 00:39:56,440 --> 00:40:02,720 everything I see around me I go outside I turn my attention to the many miracles 437 00:40:02,720 --> 00:40:09,160 around me five minutes a day regimen of appreciation and gratitude will help to 438 00:40:09,160 --> 00:40:15,760 focus my life in awe and that's exactly what it has done so when I read these 439 00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:21,040 quotes sometimes the information or the sentiment or whatever maybe may not 440 00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:27,320 apply to your life but as as we go into this next section and I start to talk 441 00:40:27,320 --> 00:40:32,800 about the things you can do to start to heighten hone and exercise your gratitude 442 00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:38,120 I want you to understand how important this quote is because I can tell you 443 00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:44,680 from firsthand experience that it will literally change your life so trust me 444 00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:49,440 on this one of all of the the points of discussion of all the things that I've 445 00:40:49,440 --> 00:40:54,480 talked about in 16 episodes of this podcast this is one of the ones that I 446 00:40:54,480 --> 00:41:00,720 have already done and I have seen and reaped the rewards of so I can tell you 447 00:41:00,720 --> 00:41:06,720 that if you take five minutes a day sitting and appreciating and showing 448 00:41:06,720 --> 00:41:13,160 gratitude for where you are what you're doing who you're with what you have in 449 00:41:13,160 --> 00:41:19,840 your hand whatever it is if you do that I promise you that your life will change 450 00:41:19,840 --> 00:41:24,120 and you will start to see and feel things that you never thought were 451 00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:31,600 possible okay so I I'm not gonna lie about this this was one of those one of 452 00:41:31,600 --> 00:41:36,920 those episodes and one of those topics that I did have to kind of really think 453 00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:41,040 about and I did a lot of digging to try to come up with some ideas for this 454 00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:44,280 particular part because you know in every episode I try to I try to find 455 00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:49,600 practical ways practical ideas practical exercises that you can kind of use to 456 00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:53,720 try to put yourself in whatever mindset or mindset I keep on using mind state I 457 00:41:53,720 --> 00:41:59,760 don't know why I keep saying that but it holds up here so I looked around quite a 458 00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:04,880 bit and and I'm just gonna go through a few of these ideas because for one I 459 00:42:04,880 --> 00:42:09,640 want to try to keep the episode shorter than episode 15 because that one was as 460 00:42:09,640 --> 00:42:15,280 my mom says a little long so we're gonna try to keep this one a little bit 461 00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:19,680 shorter and so I'm just gonna get through a few of these exercises or a 462 00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:25,040 few of these ideas of things that you can do to really kind of heighten and 463 00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:30,880 hone your feelings your feelings of gratitude and the first one I'm not 464 00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:35,800 gonna lie this is not one that I have done and it's not one that I necessarily 465 00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:42,080 can speak to in terms of its effectiveness but when I read multiple 466 00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:48,400 articles and multiple studies on on different ways to you know increase 467 00:42:48,400 --> 00:42:52,960 your your gratitude this one popped up multiple times and so I thought well you 468 00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:57,280 know everybody's saying it so it's got to have some merit here and it would you 469 00:42:57,280 --> 00:43:01,720 know when you think about it it really does hold up so one of the easiest and 470 00:43:01,720 --> 00:43:08,680 and best ways to really start to hone your way of showing gratitude is to 471 00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:14,600 start to journal now some of you already do this I know that but it you can 472 00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:21,280 literally write on the cover of your journal a gratitude journal and and what 473 00:43:21,280 --> 00:43:25,480 I mean by that is you don't you don't need to journal in in the traditional 474 00:43:25,480 --> 00:43:29,840 sense where you kind of like Dear Diary kind of stuff you are literally going to 475 00:43:29,840 --> 00:43:35,160 make this journal just be about moments and ideas and feelings of gratitude that 476 00:43:35,160 --> 00:43:38,800 you have throughout the day and the reason you do that is because it 477 00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:44,600 reinforces them and it gives you a way to remind yourself of what you have to 478 00:43:44,600 --> 00:43:49,920 be grateful for so if you go through your day and you know somebody says oh I 479 00:43:49,920 --> 00:43:54,280 really like your hair or hey I really like those shoes or you know whatever it 480 00:43:54,280 --> 00:43:58,920 may be and you feel that kind of sense of gratitude for those compliments or 481 00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:02,840 for who that person was you know who they've been in your life the fact that 482 00:44:02,840 --> 00:44:05,960 they've been a good friend of yours whatever it may be you know all of these 483 00:44:05,960 --> 00:44:10,720 things are things that you just take a moment and write them down and you can 484 00:44:10,720 --> 00:44:15,720 repeat and you can you know have the same journal entry that says the same 485 00:44:15,720 --> 00:44:21,160 thing over and over again but I promise you that if you do that for you know a 486 00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:27,360 few weeks a month and then you go back and you read those first few pages you 487 00:44:27,360 --> 00:44:32,160 read those first couple sentiments what you're going to realize and I promise 488 00:44:32,160 --> 00:44:35,760 you this is how it works even though I haven't done it myself I know this is how 489 00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:41,320 it works because I have seen something like it in my actual life what you'll 490 00:44:41,320 --> 00:44:46,520 notice is that the first few entries are gonna be let's say five things seven 491 00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:52,120 things but as you as you do it more and more you're gonna find that five to seven 492 00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:58,040 turns into a ten to twelve and that ten to twelve will slowly turn into a sixteen 493 00:44:58,040 --> 00:45:02,760 to twenty and you're gonna find that you're gonna not want to write in your 494 00:45:02,760 --> 00:45:06,040 journal anymore because there's gonna just be so many things to write that 495 00:45:06,040 --> 00:45:07,840 you're gonna be like I've already written this I'm not gonna write it 496 00:45:07,840 --> 00:45:12,960 again so then you're gonna start to see that sixteen to twenty turn into a one 497 00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:16,560 or two and you're gonna in your initial inclination when you think like that or 498 00:45:16,560 --> 00:45:21,520 when I say that is oh no like it's not working but the reality is is that it's 499 00:45:21,520 --> 00:45:24,520 working so well that you don't even bother to write those other things 500 00:45:24,520 --> 00:45:29,200 you're not taking them for granted you just already know how grateful for you 501 00:45:29,200 --> 00:45:33,040 you are for each of those things and now you're just adding to the list because 502 00:45:33,040 --> 00:45:37,520 your your your gratitude and your gratefulness for those things is 503 00:45:37,520 --> 00:45:41,400 automatic at that point in time you don't even need to write that shit down 504 00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:45,720 anymore and that's exactly what this kind of thing can do that's exactly the 505 00:45:45,720 --> 00:45:52,920 kind of practice that you want to employ to grow and really hone that feeling of 506 00:45:52,920 --> 00:45:57,880 gratitude the next idea that I found that I really do like is one that is it 507 00:45:57,880 --> 00:46:03,640 is I guess journaling adjacent but this is an exercise and what makes this this 508 00:46:03,640 --> 00:46:07,640 great is that this is something that you can do with friends this is something 509 00:46:07,640 --> 00:46:13,320 you can do with with partners and and and lovers and so on and so forth this 510 00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:19,160 is something that you can do that will really help any relationship but also 511 00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:24,280 and most importantly your relationship with yourself so for this you're gonna 512 00:46:24,280 --> 00:46:28,800 get out a piece of paper or you know use your computer whatever and you're gonna 513 00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:33,720 type in some prompts and you're gonna do this before you're with your friends or 514 00:46:33,720 --> 00:46:37,280 whatever so you can print it out and you can have this ready and and the idea is 515 00:46:37,280 --> 00:46:40,680 you know you you're gonna give everybody some sheets of paper and you 516 00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:43,760 can do this at parties too if you want to you can have groups of people do this 517 00:46:43,760 --> 00:46:51,040 it's it's not it doesn't have to be you know solo or a partner experience only 518 00:46:51,040 --> 00:46:55,080 you can do this with a few people but you're gonna write down and you don't 519 00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:58,040 have to just follow all of these if you think of others that you want to do 520 00:46:58,040 --> 00:47:02,120 definitely put them in there but you're just gonna write down things like this 521 00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:08,160 you're gonna write down I'm grateful for three things I hear blank and then 522 00:47:08,160 --> 00:47:13,240 you're gonna write the idea is they write down you I'm sorry excuse me you 523 00:47:13,240 --> 00:47:16,800 or them they write down three things that you're grateful that you hear and 524 00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:21,440 then you're gonna you're gonna just have a list of prompts like that you're gonna 525 00:47:21,440 --> 00:47:25,880 say I'm grateful for three things that I see or three things that I smell or 526 00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:30,120 three things that I touch feel three things that I taste and you can go down 527 00:47:30,120 --> 00:47:36,640 you can say three animals three birds three three of my friends three you know 528 00:47:36,640 --> 00:47:41,920 mentors teachers anything you can literally put anything in there I'm 529 00:47:41,920 --> 00:47:47,560 grateful for three of blank and as you think of things just add them to the 530 00:47:47,560 --> 00:47:53,360 list add them to the to the idea you could even take those and write them 531 00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:57,800 down or print them out or you know type them out and print them up and cut them 532 00:47:57,800 --> 00:48:02,200 and make little cards out of them so that you can then put them in a jar and 533 00:48:02,200 --> 00:48:05,840 you can have a game where you just sit there and you talk about the things that 534 00:48:05,840 --> 00:48:11,200 you're grateful for now not everybody is gonna have a great time with that not 535 00:48:11,200 --> 00:48:15,600 everybody wants to do that kind of you know emotional work but it is something 536 00:48:15,600 --> 00:48:20,600 you can certainly do especially with a couple and and you know even with your 537 00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:25,760 kids it's a great exercise to do with kids because it's something that you know 538 00:48:25,760 --> 00:48:31,880 you can start to impress upon them at a very early age just how important the 539 00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:37,400 concept of gratitude really is and if they struggle to come up with answers 540 00:48:37,400 --> 00:48:42,000 you without without without moving them too much without trying to influence them 541 00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:45,400 too much you can certainly start to try to point things out to them because 542 00:48:45,400 --> 00:48:49,880 their awareness might not be where it should be and you know you want to make 543 00:48:49,880 --> 00:48:54,800 sure that you're kind of pointing them in the right direction another then this 544 00:48:54,800 --> 00:48:59,760 is kind of a no-brainer option but I should mention it just so that we're 545 00:48:59,760 --> 00:49:08,120 safe another great way to kind of focus and practice gratitude is meditation and 546 00:49:08,120 --> 00:49:13,080 if you meditate if you're somebody who uses that or employs those that you know 547 00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:17,640 that kind of exercise you probably already know this and you probably 548 00:49:17,640 --> 00:49:23,000 already think this way but but it's really kind of like I said it's kind of 549 00:49:23,000 --> 00:49:27,920 a no-brainer you get into a meditative state you get relaxed you get 550 00:49:27,920 --> 00:49:33,080 comfortable you and then you just focus on the things that you're truly grateful 551 00:49:33,080 --> 00:49:40,000 for the things that bring that sense of joy and wonder to your heart that 552 00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:47,000 you want them to have right that you want to have you really want to try to 553 00:49:47,000 --> 00:49:52,080 when you're going into this meditative state you really want to try to keep it 554 00:49:52,080 --> 00:49:57,000 on the positive side of things so you don't want to try to slip into like I 555 00:49:57,000 --> 00:50:01,280 said earlier you don't want to start slipping into you know meditating about 556 00:50:01,280 --> 00:50:04,840 how happy you are that you're not with your ex-wife you know I mean you don't 557 00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:08,920 want to think like that you want it to be I'm happy that I get to spend time 558 00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:14,400 with my son not I'm happy that I you know don't see my ex-wife anymore you 559 00:50:14,400 --> 00:50:17,480 want it you you want to focus on the good things you want it you want to 560 00:50:17,480 --> 00:50:23,680 really have positive energy while you're doing this this kind of meditation so 561 00:50:23,680 --> 00:50:29,400 try to do away with the gratefulness that you know whatever negative thought 562 00:50:29,400 --> 00:50:35,960 you may have and just focus on the positive things and the last the last 563 00:50:35,960 --> 00:50:39,600 idea and this was this honestly was just my idea because this is one of the ways 564 00:50:39,600 --> 00:50:47,320 that I have expressed gratitude in my life and I mean it's not gonna work for 565 00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:52,120 everybody and it's not necessarily for everybody but for me music is a central 566 00:50:52,120 --> 00:50:57,680 part of my life and it is the key to unlocking entire segments of my mind and 567 00:50:57,680 --> 00:51:06,200 my memories so oftentimes when I want to really sink into not really a meditative 568 00:51:06,200 --> 00:51:09,900 trance or anything like that but kind of just a state of true gratitude I will 569 00:51:09,900 --> 00:51:16,000 turn on you know certain music and certain songs that that fill me with 570 00:51:16,000 --> 00:51:22,920 that kind of that kind of feeling a really good one for me and some people 571 00:51:22,920 --> 00:51:28,680 are gonna laugh at this but is the song may it be by Inya which is the song that 572 00:51:28,680 --> 00:51:35,200 is played at the end of the Fellowship of the Ring the first Lord of the Rings 573 00:51:35,200 --> 00:51:45,120 movie that song is hauntingly beautiful and oftentimes when I hear it I it does 574 00:51:45,120 --> 00:51:51,840 it fills me with this kind of warm powerful feeling and it's easy to 575 00:51:51,840 --> 00:51:57,680 understand in that moment with that song playing exactly how great how important 576 00:51:57,680 --> 00:52:03,000 gratitude is and how how I'm feeling it in that moment now you obviously 577 00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:06,640 everybody has different different music and different tastes and things like 578 00:52:06,640 --> 00:52:11,560 that but what's great about music is that it is is the kind of gratitude that 579 00:52:11,560 --> 00:52:17,640 you can keep for yourself but you can also share it with others and there's 580 00:52:17,640 --> 00:52:22,960 nothing that some people appreciate more than getting a text message with a 581 00:52:22,960 --> 00:52:28,760 Spotify link oh I was thinking about you here's this song oh hey I was just you 582 00:52:28,760 --> 00:52:33,360 know here's this for you or you know and and and it really does kind of hammer in 583 00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:38,280 how somebody makes you feel how much you love them how much you appreciate them 584 00:52:38,280 --> 00:52:47,400 and when you're able to do that you really can kind of it just it feels good 585 00:52:47,400 --> 00:52:52,280 for both parts right like because you get to really share not just not just 586 00:52:52,280 --> 00:52:56,320 your gratitude but you get to share something that you personally love and 587 00:52:56,320 --> 00:53:02,200 if so if the person that's receiving it is appreciative of it it just feels 588 00:53:02,200 --> 00:53:07,960 amazing it's a connection that is hard to replicate and hard to find anywhere 589 00:53:07,960 --> 00:53:15,960 else and so with the newfound recipes for 590 00:53:15,960 --> 00:53:22,280 gratitudinal success I don't know if that's a word but uh with with these 591 00:53:22,280 --> 00:53:28,280 things in mind I think that we're gonna go ahead and wrap this up I I have 592 00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:35,360 really truly enjoyed recording this episode it is so refreshing to be able 593 00:53:35,360 --> 00:53:41,160 to talk about something other than regret and doing the research into this 594 00:53:41,160 --> 00:53:46,480 which I'm not gonna lie has not been as extensive as it normally would be 595 00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:53,840 because I really have been juggling which direction I want to go each week 596 00:53:53,840 --> 00:54:02,600 or each each episode now I mentioned this in a tick-tock that I posted so I 597 00:54:02,600 --> 00:54:09,120 want to make sure I mention it here I have some big some big episodes some big 598 00:54:09,120 --> 00:54:17,680 concepts and ideas that will be coming up but a few of them are going to be 599 00:54:17,680 --> 00:54:25,880 multi multi-part episodes so I will release those usually like within a day 600 00:54:25,880 --> 00:54:29,480 or two of each other but I know that for one instance one that is going to be 601 00:54:29,480 --> 00:54:34,880 multiple parts is going to be the episode on love I don't know when I'll 602 00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:38,480 be ready to start recording that I still have a lot of work on how I'm gonna 603 00:54:38,480 --> 00:54:45,160 kind of frame it and then there's gonna be some multi-parts for for negative ones 604 00:54:45,160 --> 00:54:51,160 as well and for some other kind of bigger concepts so one of those that I 605 00:54:51,160 --> 00:54:57,160 mentioned in the in the tick-tock video is I'm going to be doing an episode on 606 00:54:57,160 --> 00:55:05,160 depression namely my experience with depression and give people an idea of 607 00:55:05,160 --> 00:55:09,280 like where it came from what I've done to work with it how I understand it and 608 00:55:09,280 --> 00:55:17,360 really I want to be able to show or I guess talk about what it what it's like 609 00:55:17,360 --> 00:55:24,880 for those of you that do not suffer with true debilitating depression I want to 610 00:55:24,880 --> 00:55:30,440 make an episode that will truly make you understand it so that you can then 611 00:55:30,440 --> 00:55:36,560 better help those around you that suffer from it and when I do this episode 612 00:55:36,560 --> 00:55:39,960 there's a very good chance that it ends up being a multi-part episode as well 613 00:55:39,960 --> 00:55:48,200 because it is such a large topic and I have so much personal information that I 614 00:55:48,200 --> 00:55:57,080 would want to share that I'm you know it is a good chance of it also a possible 615 00:55:57,080 --> 00:56:00,760 episode that's coming up and this may be a while still but I wanted to make sure 616 00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:04,160 that it got out there because I know that some folks have asked me about it 617 00:56:04,160 --> 00:56:11,840 on on the tick-tock channel I have told stories numerous stories about this 618 00:56:11,840 --> 00:56:19,560 friend of mine that I no longer speak to and we've had a big falling out and I get 619 00:56:19,560 --> 00:56:25,120 messages about her quite often and because I talk about her so much on the 620 00:56:25,120 --> 00:56:29,480 tick-tock channel it is very obvious to many people just how important she was 621 00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:36,720 to me so there will probably be in the nearest near ish future an episode 622 00:56:36,720 --> 00:56:42,560 dedicated to telling the story of all of that and exactly what happened and how 623 00:56:42,560 --> 00:56:48,560 it all came down and the reason why that may be delayed or maybe a while is 624 00:56:48,560 --> 00:56:55,960 because it's still very very painful and it still is not happening now but like 625 00:56:55,960 --> 00:57:02,800 for me I'm still processing a lot of it and I want to make sure that there is a 626 00:57:02,800 --> 00:57:09,520 lesson and that it's not just an hour-long bitch vest on my part so I 627 00:57:09,520 --> 00:57:12,600 want to make sure that I can frame these things in a way that folks 628 00:57:12,600 --> 00:57:17,800 understand exactly what I have gone through what my friend has gone through 629 00:57:17,800 --> 00:57:25,800 and also do it without obviously you know saying anything hurtful or hateful 630 00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:32,640 I'm just I just want to speak the truth so that people can understand it 631 00:57:32,640 --> 00:57:37,600 where I'm at and I think that if I do that episode the reason why I really 632 00:57:37,600 --> 00:57:40,600 have thought about doing it a lot is because I want people to really 633 00:57:40,600 --> 00:57:50,120 understand who I am and she was a formative influence for me for many 634 00:57:50,120 --> 00:57:55,440 years and so it's important to to know where I am now to understand where I 635 00:57:55,440 --> 00:58:00,360 have been and I think that's really important so those are the those are the 636 00:58:00,360 --> 00:58:04,800 plans I'm not there I don't have a schedule set for these yet and I don't 637 00:58:04,800 --> 00:58:08,760 I can't promise you that it's that those multi-part episodes are going to be 638 00:58:08,760 --> 00:58:15,280 real soon there's a little bit more that goes into doing this because of the way 639 00:58:15,280 --> 00:58:18,400 that I have to release them and upload them and things like that the way that I 640 00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:23,240 have to tag them so I just have to study it a little bit more and really get get 641 00:58:23,240 --> 00:58:29,640 figured all out once I once I have that I'm gonna go ahead and do that plus and 642 00:58:29,640 --> 00:58:36,360 this is still very much up in the air I have the possibility of very soon 643 00:58:36,360 --> 00:58:43,520 recording a couple episodes varying topics with some guests so you're not 644 00:58:43,520 --> 00:58:47,760 just gonna have to listen to me ramble on for an hour each time so I wanted to 645 00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:51,240 let let get all that clerical stuff out of the way and make sure everybody knew 646 00:58:51,240 --> 00:58:55,320 that and now I think we're gonna go ahead and wrap it up with another quote 647 00:58:55,320 --> 00:59:03,640 and this quote is by a lady named Jen Sincero who you may know you may not but 648 00:59:03,640 --> 00:59:10,640 for for Christmas my sister got me a word of the day calendar kind of thing 649 00:59:10,640 --> 00:59:16,440 where you know where you peel off the pages and the calendar she got me is 650 00:59:16,440 --> 00:59:21,000 called you are a bad or you are a badass and it's based on a book I didn't know 651 00:59:21,000 --> 00:59:25,400 that when she got it for me but it's based on a book called you are a badass 652 00:59:25,400 --> 00:59:29,280 Jen Sincero is the lady that wrote that and and she's very she's an inspirational 653 00:59:29,280 --> 00:59:34,040 speaker and author and things like that and she's she's got a great sense of 654 00:59:34,040 --> 00:59:39,080 humor and she has a way of delivering some important information in a way that 655 00:59:39,080 --> 00:59:44,160 is easily understandable so I'm not promoting her or anything I don't get 656 00:59:44,160 --> 00:59:47,880 paid for this but you know it's worth looking into maybe her book and what she 657 00:59:47,880 --> 00:59:51,360 has to say if you have the opportunity because I know that just reading the 658 00:59:51,360 --> 00:59:56,040 calendar and even finding this quote makes me want to go read the book 659 00:59:56,040 --> 01:00:04,640 myself which I have not done so I will leave you with this but let me say thank 660 01:00:04,640 --> 01:00:09,760 you I appreciate you all that listen it means the world to me that I'm not just 661 01:00:09,760 --> 01:00:14,680 screaming into the void here and for those of you that follow me on tick tock 662 01:00:14,680 --> 01:00:20,400 please let me know what you think of the episode and you know be critical if you 663 01:00:20,400 --> 01:00:24,200 if you'd like if you feel like I can do something better let me know if you feel 664 01:00:24,200 --> 01:00:31,720 like I'm doing good let me know because it certainly does feel nice to be 665 01:00:31,720 --> 01:00:36,880 appreciated for the amount of work that I put into these things so with that 666 01:00:36,880 --> 01:00:44,440 said Jen Sincero said gratitude is one of the strongest and most transformative 667 01:00:44,440 --> 01:00:50,160 states of being it shifts your perspective from lack to abundance and 668 01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:56,680 allows you to focus on the good in your life which in turn pulls more goodness 669 01:00:56,680 --> 01:01:05,320 into your reality and that is from all experience that I've had over these 670 01:01:05,320 --> 01:01:10,800 past almost five months since this shift has taken place inside of me I can tell 671 01:01:10,800 --> 01:01:16,080 you that without a doubt one of the most honest and true things that you will 672 01:01:16,080 --> 01:01:23,080 ever read in your entire life it shifts your perspective from lack to abundance 673 01:01:23,080 --> 01:01:29,320 and allows you to focus on the good in your life and that's what it's all about 674 01:01:29,320 --> 01:01:36,240 folks focus on what you love focus on what you're grateful for focus on living 675 01:01:36,240 --> 01:01:41,920 your life with gratitude every single day it's not gonna come easy it's not 676 01:01:41,920 --> 01:01:46,960 gonna be natural you're gonna feel really silly sometimes but start with 677 01:01:46,960 --> 01:01:50,920 the small things start with your morning rituals start with just the simple 678 01:01:50,920 --> 01:01:54,840 things that you know you love and you know you're grateful for start with this 679 01:01:54,840 --> 01:01:59,160 the people that you're most grateful for but really think about them really think 680 01:01:59,160 --> 01:02:03,200 about why am I grateful for this person why am I grateful for this moment why am 681 01:02:03,200 --> 01:02:08,360 I grateful for this really dive into it learn to appreciate it and when you 682 01:02:08,360 --> 01:02:11,440 start to do that when you do it consciously when you do it over and over 683 01:02:11,440 --> 01:02:17,000 and over again you I promise you it will become a natural state of being for you 684 01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:22,760 you will feel gratitude for so much around you you will just want to just 685 01:02:22,760 --> 01:02:27,560 grab as much of it as you can you'll want to experience that feeling for every 686 01:02:27,560 --> 01:02:31,600 single moment of every single day and you're gonna want to share that feeling 687 01:02:31,600 --> 01:02:36,000 you're gonna want people to you're gonna be so thirsty for it you're gonna be so 688 01:02:36,000 --> 01:02:41,520 hungry for it that you're gonna want to share it and when you do you're gonna 689 01:02:41,520 --> 01:02:45,760 really see the magic that can happen you're gonna really start to understand 690 01:02:45,760 --> 01:02:54,320 exactly how powerful this shit is I can't tell you I can't tell you you have 691 01:02:54,320 --> 01:02:58,520 to experience it yourself you have to feel it for yourself because I can tell 692 01:02:58,520 --> 01:03:09,800 you this one thing five months ago I was ready to take my own life and today I am 693 01:03:09,800 --> 01:03:18,560 so grateful that I did not because now I get to sit here and tell anybody that 694 01:03:18,560 --> 01:03:26,880 listens to this how grateful I am not just to be here to say this to you but 695 01:03:26,880 --> 01:03:35,360 to know that maybe just maybe in hearing this you will learn to feel this way 696 01:03:35,360 --> 01:03:41,340 about yourself and it could if you do these things and if you start to live 697 01:03:41,340 --> 01:03:47,880 this way change your life in a way that I could not imagine and I know that you 698 01:03:47,880 --> 01:03:53,280 can't imagine right now either thank you for listening I appreciate you all very 699 01:03:53,280 --> 01:04:01,160 much I will talk to you very soon take care of yourself and take care of others