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Hey folks, welcome to episode 9 of a Pebble in a Pond podcast and 2024, happy

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new year! I am actually going to be recording this, well I am recording this,

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in two parts. There was going to be some recorded earlier in the week and then

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some that is recorded the night of New Year's Eve, New Year's Day over that

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period. So if you hear pops and explosions and stuff in the background, I

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apologize for that, there's going to be revelry outside. So if you hear it, I

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apologize, I'm gonna try to keep the sound from affecting it too much,

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but that's just the nature of the beast when you try to capture the moment

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and magic of New Year's Eve, I guess. Now I'm not gonna lie to you folks, we're

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gonna start this episode, we're gonna cue the music in just a minute, but I'm gonna

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tell you how this episode is gonna go right up front. I am NOT a really big fan

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of New Year's Eve, or New Year's, the whole celebration really. I am NOT

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somebody who has ever, like at one point, at any point in my life have I had the

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ability to kind of get into it. And because of that, I think that I want to

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be upfront with it and try to, you know, brace everybody that's listening to this

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episode for the fact that I'm gonna start this being kind of negative, being

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down on it a little bit. I will ramp into the positives and the beauty and

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and some of the great things about the holiday that I do see and I do understand,

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but I want to make sure that I'm being as open and honest as I can, that for the

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first five ten minutes of this I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be speaking from the heart

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for me, but for some of you it might be a little negative. So I just want to make

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sure that it's out there and I'm gonna set the tone before we before we play

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the music, I'm gonna set the tone with my first quote of the episode. And it is a

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quote that has literally been in my head since I read it when I was, I want to say

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17 or 18 years old. Every single New Year's I think this and maybe that's one

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of the reasons why it maybe it's a self-fulfilling prophecy, but as I've

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said on in some TikTok videos and as I'm sure some of you may have noticed, I am a

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bit of a cynic and if you're a cynic in this world like I am, there is no greater

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piece of literature known to man than the Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Beers.

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It is it is quite literally a cynics handbook. Well Ambrose Beers, even

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thinking about it makes me laugh. Ambrose Beers wrote year, noun, a period of 365

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disappointments. Now I know that that's exceedingly negative and I appreciate

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the fact that some most people that hear that are not gonna get the laugh out of

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it that I do, but I can't think of a better way for somebody like me to start

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an episode about an idea and a concept that I'm not really on board with, but I

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do understand why people are. So with that in mind, understanding that I'm

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coming from, that I'm starting the episode from the position of enjoy your

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next 365 disappointments, we'll go right into the episode. Let's cue the music.

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So I guess I should just start with why I have such a distaste for this this

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holiday, and I want to be really clear here. It's not it's not so much that I

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don't understand people celebrating it, it's not so much that I it's just for me

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I have always felt like okay it's not just for me. It is a fact. It is a

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completely arbitrary just made-up thing right? Like I understand that it's the

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start of a calendar new year. I get that, but it has no actual significance in

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terms of like like I had somebody actually argue with me at one point in

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time that it's you know it's us making it around the Sun one more time and no

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no it's not. It has absolutely no astronomical significance whatsoever. You

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know we have ways of charting and knowing exactly how or when we've made

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it around the Sun and and our calendar that we use is not the way to do it. So

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if you want to go by like the astronomical you know in astronomy if

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you want to use that then that's fine like celebrate that but it's you know

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it's different it changes actually every year it's off by you know it could be

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off by a couple of days you can be off by a couple hours but it's definitely

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not January 1st and because of that you know I what I have seen in my life is

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and this is again I'm going to continue to you know apologize for those of you

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that are you know not not understanding where I'm coming from what I have seen

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over and over and over again on New Year's is and this I mean this goes back

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from when I was a kid I've seen people ramp up and everyday normal people get

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all excited about it and everybody talks about it and they sell the stuff in the

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stores for it and everybody has their traditions for it and then the year is

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the exact same as the day before as the year before nothing changes these

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people don't actually make any changes in their lives they don't actually you

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know nothing moves and what's interesting about it is that you know we

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celebrate January 1st as if it's like the day that things are gonna change

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we're going to make these changes in our lives we're going to be better we're

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they're gonna on this day but that's not what happens right like I'll use I'll

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use myself as an example this year on October 16th or 17th I'm not sure what

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the day was because it doesn't matter I slipped into a point of my depression

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that I could not could not get out of there was no there was no return for me

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I was either going to be gone for lack of a better word I was going to finish

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the job if you will clock out is another way of putting it or I was going to have

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to like commit myself I was gonna have to go into you know I there's no there

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was no way out at that point in time for me and then boom something happened I

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don't know what I don't know how to describe it and I don't really know I

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have never I have yet to I actually have been researching it but I have no

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therapist or psychiatric explanation that I've read that matches up with what

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I've experienced but I I was just through it and it happened literally in

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an instant and with with a vision or an epiphany if you want to call it that of

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what I should do next and what I should do next was this this is what I should

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do next and that change happened on October 17th like this wasn't this

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wasn't January 1st this wasn't but but it literally changed my life it changed

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the direction of my life it changed the the things that I held valuable and the

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things that and my way of perceiving the world changed in one instant and one day

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and I haven't been the same since and I don't foresee me being the same going

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forward I have since then I have evolved rapidly I have been making changes in my

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life and I have been losing people in my life and I have you know my life is very

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different since that day than it was for literally years before that day and so

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with keeping that in mind understanding that that change happened on October

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17th I don't think of it as oh well that was 2023 I think of it as that day the

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same way that people think of January 1st and it always just seems so

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arbitrary to me it always just seems so weird to me to to celebrate this one day

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when you know December 31st whatever year it may be you go out you party and

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you have a good time and January 1st of the next year it's the you're the same

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thing you know you got to show up and go to work you got a you know whatever it

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may be it's the same thing as it was the day before or that you know what you

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don't know he breaks the cycle on that day and and obviously like I said I know

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that there are people out there that do that put in their best effort and use

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the holiday as a reason to I guess move forward I I guess I just I have a hard

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time fooling myself I just see the I see the reality of the situation that most

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people that I've ever met make a big deal out of it and then go about

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thinking and doing and being the same exact way the next day nothing actually

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changes they just like to say it does and it it just bothered me after a while

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I just I guess I just became somewhat jaded about it I became you know it

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started I actually would get angry when people would be like oh and I'm gonna do

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this in the new year and I'm gonna do this in the new year and I I would just

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look at him and be like you've said that for three years now like nothing has

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changed you're the same exact person over and over and over again you're

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doing the same exact things and then you just complain about it for all the time

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you just complain all the time about the things that you say you're gonna change

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and you never change them and this is not this is listen I'm not trying to

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like that happens for all of us I am a very good example of that for you

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literally 15 years I was in a massive depression one where I was being gas lit

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and lied to and treated unfairly and poorly by people that I held extremely

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close to me and any any of my depression that I could have crawled out of was

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immediately like any progress I would make was immediately negated by the fact

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that I was not you know I didn't I didn't understand the reality of the

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situation I was not given agency by the people around me to you know pull myself

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up and so I would find myself feeling worse and worse instead of better and

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better now that's not to say that I blame anybody for me being a depressed

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person that's just to say I was depressed and every time I would try to

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get out of it every time I would see you know a truth or an honesty that that

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would maybe help me pull myself out of it that was immediately squashed by some

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of the people around me and that's unfortunate but we're not there anymore

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right like we're moving on and so I guess the reason I bring that up and the

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reason I'm using that as an example here is because this is the first time and

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if that's why I did this episode this is the first time where I genuinely can see

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a new year mattering to me in a like as long as I can remember as long as I can

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remember this is the first time that I see it being a new year shift being

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important to me and part of that is like I said what what my my way of seeing

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things and the way that people kind of kept me from well there's another

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explosion the way that people kind of kept me from spreading my wings I guess

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sorry that explosion kind of rocked my world there that was really loud that

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was that was really loud actually sound like it was right outside my wall I

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don't know if you guys heard that or not but it was crazy this is this may be a

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failed experiment maybe trying to make this episode but there's explosions and

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things going off in the background I'm certainly going to lose my train of

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thought here and there so anyway the point I was trying to make and I'm just

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I'm not gonna edit this because I want people to understand that I'm you know

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this is happening at that point in time so anyway yes I want to make sure that I

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am showing you guys why this particular year and why this change matters to me

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and why I wanted to make this episode is exactly I see I see now I have a better

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understanding of where people are coming from and and I want to feel that same

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hope and so that's why I'm gonna ramp this episode up into some of the

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positive stuff is because I want that feeling and in literally literally years

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and years of my life I have I have been negative and cynical and jaded and I

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have not understood that feeling at all but this year even though I still

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believe that the date is arbitrary because of the changes that I feel and

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that have taken place in me happened two months ago I'm still changing and I

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still see that this next year that's coming 2024 is going to be a very

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different year for me than many of the years prior and it's gonna be difficult

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and it's gonna be painful but it's also going to be hopefully exceedingly

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rewarding personally and in every other way that I can imagine so with that in

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mind I'm going to give you my next quote and this this is gonna be the end of the

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negativity if I can help it I mean I'm sure I'm gonna say some things over the

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next little bit that's going to sound negative but this quote is the reason

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this quote is the reason why I will always hold firm that New Year's Eve is

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arbitrary and kind of silly and this quote is actually by Ralph Waldo

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Emerson and I'm sure you guys have noticed if you've listened to the other

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episodes I quote Emerson and Thoreau quite a bit only because I have since I

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was a young young boy identified very strongly with their way of thinking and

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Emerson especially is you'd be hard-pressed to find anything that he

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said that I didn't at some point agree with I know that there were some things

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that here and there that were obviously questionable now and you know I agree

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with those but I don't agree with those but for the most part his way of

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thinking his way of I guess seeing the world very much aligns with mine but he

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said write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year and

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that that to me says everything you need to know about New Year's for me every

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day for me is a new year I don't think I don't ever wait if I if I can help it I

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don't ever wait to change I don't ever wait to be different I don't ever wait

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to do the thing and part of that is just because I'm really big on instant

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gratification but also it's because I've never understood waiting why people say

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I'm gonna wait until on New Year's Day I'm gonna start working out of the gym

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on this day I'm gonna start doing this why why why wait just do it on New Year's

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Day I'm gonna go talk to this person that I haven't talked to in a long time

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why you don't know if you're gonna make the New Year's Day you can't promise

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that go do it now go make the changes now go go talk to the people now go do

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the things you need to do now don't wait don't procrastinate because you get to

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say I doing it for the new year that's that's honestly it makes me kind of

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angry just saying that but you know that that is a mistake that people make

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throughout the world over and over again they wait and they look for these

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these benchmarks they look for you know guidance instead of just doing the thing

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that they need they want or they need to do don't wait if you know that something

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is going to create change and positivity and it's going to enable you to you know

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spread your wings and fly and to speak then then just do it don't wait don't

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ever wait for a new year and don't think that somehow that magical clock change

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is going to be the answer to your to your questions that's not that's not how

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that works and most of you that listen to this know that only children think

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that you know a clock changing from 12 to 1 is somehow going to be the

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difference you know we read about that in in fiction books when we're children

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and we want to believe it but we all know that that's not what does it it has

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nothing to do with that clock changing it has to do with what we do and how we

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do it the the direction that we point ourselves in and if we can take that

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step so don't wait don't ever wait because every single day every single

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day and every moment in every day is important and you have to remember that

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that the whole point of this podcast and of my tick-tock channel and of all the

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other socials that I'm starting to work on now which is my resolution by the way

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no I'm joking that's not a resolution the the whole point of this is that

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these small changes that you can make in your life these small things that you

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can do they are the difference so you don't wait to do them you you make the

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changes now and you start and you do it every day so that it becomes a habit and

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you become good at it and you really begin to appreciate and see the effects

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of your changes and the decisions that you're making that's the whole point

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you know you're not it's not gonna be like I said earlier I'm somebody who is

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very much about instant gratification well this isn't a matter of instant

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gratification but it is a matter of seeing the fruits of your labor and of

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the decisions and choices that you're making over time but you will see them a

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lot quicker than you think you will it's like it's like you know when you go to

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the gym I'm sure many of you know that if you go to the gym and you go once

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it's not gonna do anything you're gonna be in a little bit of pain afterwards

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but it's not gonna do anything you go twice still not gonna do anything you go

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three times probably not gonna do anything you're probably not gonna see

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much you might feel a little bit better afterwards if you these are three days

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in a row if you go or maybe you'll hurt a little bit more but if you go to the

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gym five days a week for 20 minutes every day and you do that for three weeks

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you're gonna see a difference you're gonna feel a difference you're gonna

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notice a change it's not gonna be giant it's not gonna be you're not gonna walk

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out looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger but you you will you will see a

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difference and then you go again the next month and then you will start to

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see what's happening you'll start to understand exactly what all of your work

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that you put in and all that time that you're using what it's doing and the

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same thing goes with the decisions and the choices you make in in your life and

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the way that you move through this world if you start to make these small choices

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and these small decisions you know you get up and you say you know what today

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I'm going to smile at everybody that I can that's it I'm just gonna try to try

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to keep a smile on my face no matter what happens no matter what you know what

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what challenges come in the day I'm going to try to smile or you say you

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know what today I'm going to I'm just going to focus on the things that I'm

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grateful for the things the people that that bring me joy I'm just gonna focus

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and think about those things when I get in my car I'm gonna be grateful for the

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fact that I can get in my car and drive to work and I'm not gonna be upset about

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how long it takes or the traffic or I'm just gonna think about the fact that I

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get to get in this car and drive spend you know 30 minutes or however long you

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drive is I get to spend 30 minutes in my car with myself listen to the music

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listen into a podcast just being with myself for 30 minutes of peace and

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quiet and then I get to get to work and yeah it'll be hectic but I'm gonna be

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grateful for the fact that I have a job that I can go to and that I know that I

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have stable income at least somewhat stable income and I know that I'm you

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know able to provide for the people in my household being being intentionally

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grateful is a great great way to change the way you see this world and I promise

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you that if you do that if you if you do it just like going to the gym if you get

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up every day and you say this is what we're gonna do we're gonna focus on

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being grateful this is what we're gonna do we're gonna focus on being this we're

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gonna focus all these good things and some of the things we've talked about in

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this podcast not this episode but you know in other episodes some of if you if

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you focus on doing these things if you focus on these small just decisions and

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choices and ways of thinking and you do it every day for a few weeks you're

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gonna start to see the difference you're gonna start to see the change people

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are gonna interact with you differently people are gonna want to go out of their

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way to be around you people are gonna want to ask you for help and guidance

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and they're going to appreciate the things and and what what happens then

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is not only do you feel better but I promise you that more avenues will open

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up for you you know if you're at work and you've been one a promotion well the

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best way to get that is obviously do your job well but also make sure that

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other people notice you make sure that people appreciate your your persona

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that they appreciate who you are and that they you know you bring that energy

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and that light into the room when you walk in and the best way to do that is

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by these you know understanding that these little things that you do and so

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that's what I mean when I say don't wait don't wait for some arbitrary date that

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really doesn't mean anything to make these changes in your life January 1st

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today is the day right like we've waited for it so you have no excuse at this

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point in time whatever change you would planning on making today is the day now

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I would have been perfectly happy with you making that change on December 23rd

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or December 7th or November 14th or November 1st I would any of any date any

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date is fine as far as I'm concerned because that is the best day of the year

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according to Emerson if you make it that way if you make it that way and if you

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believe that every day is the start of another 365 years then every single day

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is New Year's you can't say that about birthdays you can't say that about about

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Christmas you can't say that about the 4th of July those are only one day but

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New Year's New Year's is every day now for those of you that are imbibing and

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partying you probably don't need it to be every day right now show a little

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self-control but uh other than that you know the the mental shifts and the way

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that we we focus on the day to kind of bring about renewal and change that's

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every day that's every day because we just made this crap up we just made it

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up that date is not astronomical in any sense there is no actual weight to this

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day in any way shape or form other than what we add to it so break the cycle

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break the way of thinking that this is somehow a special day the only thing

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that makes it special is what you do with it that's what makes it special and

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that can happen any day but if you have waited if you have waited for this day

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and you're listening to this podcast you have no excuse any longer do it

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whatever the thing is that you were gonna put off until New Year's now is

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the time this is what we've waited for and you have no reason no excuse not to

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follow through on your promises I know that sounds harsh I know it sounds like

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I'm being just being a jerk but I'm not I genuinely believe that you know we've

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waited people wait a lot of people do that but you know what's what's your

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reason now why procrastinate now why put it off now we are in the new year this

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is 2024 let's get going let's do the thing right now I had planned on going

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into a long thing here next but I kind of went wrong long on that that first

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segment so I think I'm gonna change it up a little bit I do want to tell this

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story and I'm gonna try to keep it short so that I don't keep you guys here for

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another hour episode but um I have one of the strongest memories I have of New

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Year's we like I said before I've never really celebrated New Year's like I've

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never really been like I think I've done like a couple of like you know oh it's

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midnight give me a kiss kind of things in my life it's just my family and me

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and most people I know don't really care about New Year's because you know it's

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just they just never really meant anything everybody had to go to work the

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next day it wasn't really that big a deal that being said I do remember I

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don't remember how old I was I want to say I was like 24 25 maybe a friend of

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mine invited me and my best friend out to Universal for New Year's Eve well let

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me tell you that if I didn't already have a distaste distaste for New Year's I

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certainly did after that I will never ever again go to a theme park or a large

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like you know massive gathering of strangers I would never go to you know

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Times Square for New Year's Rockin Eve I would never do that I just that holds no

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no I don't have any desire to do that and I get it it's an event and people

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get I'm not saying that you shouldn't do it I'm just saying I would never do that

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and and the reason why I would never do this because this this time I went to

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Universal and I just I just think this story is funny because it's it's kind of

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it kind of is a emblematic of I think one of my problems and also it's just a

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funny story so this was a friend of mine who worked at Universal got us free

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tickets and then it was me and my friend who at the time hadn't had a lot of luck

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with the ladies if you will and so he was really looking forward to getting out

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there and you know the the general man thought of you know I'm gonna be out

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there there's gonna be a bunch of hot girls and you know they're ever he's

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gonna be kissing and making out at New Year's and it's kind of silly when you

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think about it now but that was the thought process at the time for him now

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I had a girlfriend at the time so I you know I don't have a problem giving a girl

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a peck on the cheek or something but I wasn't out there to make out with

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anybody so we get out there and it's it's packed I mean you can't walk easily

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from like one part of the park to another it was literally packed and this

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we got out there probably I want to say it was like eight o'clock when he got

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out there and we spent you know a couple hours walking around trying to get on

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rides it was all just it was just too much so we ended up just kind of sitting

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in one spot like for an hour to and it was cold it was you know this is a this

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is universal in Florida so it but for Florida it was very very very very cold

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so we're all bundled up and trying to stay warm and and all the girls that you

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know he was looking forward to are all bundled up and shaken and shivering

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because they're all cold so nobody's you know nobody's really partying or

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anything like that but everybody's kind of like in their little corners and I

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remember seeing this like I don't know it was probably I think it was like four

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or five girls and he saw them too and they were probably I want to say 20 21

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looking a couple of them had drinks so I assumed they were 21 and he was like oh

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you know looking at this one girl in the group and he was like fascinated with

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hers he thought she was so pretty I was like oh go talk to her this is the day

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all right right like this is the time when you do that this is he's like oh

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yeah I will I'll go talk to her and so we we try to maneuver so that he's we're

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close to this group of girls that he liked the one and he just sat there he

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didn't he didn't talk to her and it's getting you know it's like 1145 and I'm

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like you better talk to her if you I mean she's just there with a group of

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her girlfriends there's no other dudes talking to her you just you might as

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well go talk to her he's like yeah yeah I will I will like it's 1145 bro you got

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to get out there you got it you know game on and he's like yeah yeah I will I

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will I'm like so I realized at like 1150 I'm like oh he's not gonna he's not gonna

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do anything he's gonna let this opportunity pass so I didn't I didn't

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like wasn't trying to steal anybody's thunder I genuinely was just trying to

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wingman for this dude right like I was I was genuinely trying to help him so I go

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over to this group of girls and I just start talking I'm like hey you know I

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noticed you guys were just here together I got a couple guys over here and we're

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you know we're getting ready to celebrate the new year you know just

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thought maybe we come over and hang out with you guys for a little bit and they

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were they were already kind of drunk like three of them were already

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basically drunk and they're like yeah sure come on over you know like partying

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and stuff and so that I think because they outnumbered us there wasn't there

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wasn't this like fear of these guys and you know I don't know I don't know the

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good guys I were with were not like intimidating looking guys so I that had

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a lot to do with it too I think so I call them over and you know we're all

355
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just hanging out and and you know we've only got a few minutes like by the time

356
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they get over there and we're it's like five minutes too so everybody's getting

357
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all excited people are standing up people are getting you know you can hear

358
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the crowd like getting ready and they I don't remember where they had it but I

359
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think was like there's like a lake in the middle of universal that everybody

360
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can see and I think they had a big clock there well what was interesting about is

361
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the clock was off but everybody was going by that clock like it was already

362
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like according to like watches and phones and stuff it was you know we were

363
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we were rolling up on midnight and but nobody cared about that like so it was

364
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weird because some people were looking at their clocks and their watches and

365
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like oh it's New Year's like everybody we celebrating like happy New Year's you

366
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heard that throughout the smatterings of it throughout the crowd but it didn't

367
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matter because everybody was just watching the clock in the middle of the

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lake which was off by like two minutes two and a half minutes so we're just

369
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sitting there watching that and the clock gets to one minute and people are

370
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getting excited and you know it turns to seconds and people are getting excited

371
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and he hasn't said one damn word to this girl just stood next to her didn't say

372
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a thing to her like maybe smiled at her and didn't say anything didn't you know

373
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didn't say you know hi my name is or nothing just just stood there and looked

374
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at her and I'm sitting there looking at him like you I mean like literally you're

375
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on a countdown clock now you better make a move you better say something to do

376
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or you better get her attention if you want those lips on you and he just

377
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didn't he's insane thing so that we get down to you know ten nine eight and I'm

378
00:33:35,760 --> 00:33:39,800
looking at him he's looking at me and he looks back at her and he just kind of

379
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kind of moves takes a step in and he just kind of gets close to her and she

380
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kind of looks at him and she kind of like you know like what the hell are you

381
00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:51,160
doing like she she like kind of flinches because she didn't she didn't know what

382
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his intentions were he hadn't said a thing to her he just stood there so he

383
00:33:54,760 --> 00:34:01,000
in this like six second countdown he goes from just being a body next to her

384
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to literally being somebody that she's like you know hell away from me so she

385
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:16,200
she reacts poorly obviously and six five four and two of these drunk girls now

386
00:34:16,200 --> 00:34:24,640
have crowded near me and she he's basically you know intimidating this

387
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other girl because he's he thinks he's gonna go in and like sneak a kiss on her

388
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I think I think that's what he really believed he was he was gonna you know

389
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just she was gonna be so caught up in the moment he was just gonna be able to

390
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give her a quick peck I don't think he really understood how these things

391
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worked so she's kind of maneuvering over by me so that we get down to three two

392
00:34:43,400 --> 00:34:48,720
one every says happy new year and three girls including the girl that that he

393
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was had been trying to maneuver all come in and like give me kisses on my cheeks

394
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and my and they're all you know I have my arm around two of them and they're

395
00:34:56,440 --> 00:34:59,760
all like you know not making out with me but they're all like you know put their

396
00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:03,160
hands on my shoulders and my chest and I'm you know they're jumping up and down

397
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and I'm I'm basically the their their support so they can jump higher and

398
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stuff like that and it was one of those things where I tell the story now and

399
00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:20,040
it's funny to me I think back on it but it really is emblematic of one of the

400
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problems that I have with New Year's and and like I said I'm this is not a

401
00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:29,040
negative thing but this is this is a lesson this is a lesson for everyone my

402
00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:34,440
friend there had in his sights what he wanted for that moment he knew exactly

403
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:39,520
what it was that he thought he needed going forward he wanted this girl's

404
00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:42,960
attention he wanted this girl's affection he wanted to be the one that

405
00:35:42,960 --> 00:35:49,520
she was celebrating this moment with but he did nothing to make that happen he

406
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was afraid and I'm not knocking that I'm not saying there's anything wrong with

407
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him being afraid what I am saying is that you only have that one moment right

408
00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:03,240
like you only have that moment that the moment's gone after that he's not gonna

409
00:36:03,240 --> 00:36:09,240
get that chance again so you can't let fear stop you you can't ever let fear

410
00:36:09,240 --> 00:36:14,880
stop you in those moments you know the it's it's I know it's trite to a lot of

411
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:23,680
people but the the truest the truest thing you'll ever hear the truest lyric

412
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in any song you'll ever hear is is in the song lose yourself by Eminem and I

413
00:36:30,240 --> 00:36:32,680
know that everybody knows the song I know that if you listen to this you've

414
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:39,920
heard it before but those opening lines of that song are so important and

415
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:46,920
especially in moments like that where you know he had that one moment to get

416
00:36:46,920 --> 00:36:51,040
what he wanted right and I'll just refresh your memory like if you don't

417
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:58,320
know the lines for some reason if you had one one shot one opportunity to

418
00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:03,400
seize everything you ever wanted in one moment would you capture it or just let

419
00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:11,640
it slip and that that way of thinking that that that way of being if you will

420
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:17,840
is so important for what we try to put on New Year's my friend had that

421
00:37:17,840 --> 00:37:23,680
opportunity right he had that moment that girl that he was you know suddenly

422
00:37:23,680 --> 00:37:28,800
infatuated with would have been on you know that could have been the start of

423
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:32,240
a beautiful relationship that would have lasted ten years or for the rest of his

424
00:37:32,240 --> 00:37:38,560
life who knows but he was too afraid in that moment to really capture it and to

425
00:37:38,560 --> 00:37:46,560
make it into something that mattered now you know full disclosure I like I said I

426
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:51,040
was in a loving committed relationship at that point in time I had no interest

427
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:55,280
in any of those girls whatsoever I was basically just there to help him and so

428
00:37:55,280 --> 00:37:58,080
I never talked to any of them again I never even got any other names or

429
00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:02,000
numbers or anything now that's not to say I couldn't have because they were

430
00:38:02,000 --> 00:38:07,320
all relatively inebriated and probably easy pickings if you will I could have

431
00:38:07,320 --> 00:38:12,680
talked to any of them if I wanted to but I didn't have that desire I was there

432
00:38:12,680 --> 00:38:17,560
just to try to get his foot in the door just to try to help him out try to be a

433
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:23,120
conversation starter for him and you know it it didn't work out because he

434
00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:30,280
would not initiate it he did not want to go further so with that story in mind

435
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:35,600
just remember that it doesn't matter and you know this goes back to my original

436
00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:42,560
point in the previous segment it doesn't really matter what the date is if you

437
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:50,680
don't have the courage and the cojones as they say to grab the moment and make

438
00:38:50,680 --> 00:38:57,400
it yours it doesn't matter what the date is you have to have the the wherewithal

439
00:38:57,400 --> 00:39:03,200
and the chutzpah I keep using these words because I think it's funny to to

440
00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:06,920
do it right like you have to make the thing happen it doesn't just happen

441
00:39:06,920 --> 00:39:10,880
because the date changes you have to make it happen you have to want it and

442
00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:14,320
and and if there's anything I want you to take out of this episode it's that

443
00:39:14,320 --> 00:39:20,680
now is the time don't put it off anymore don't don't wait for the next year don't

444
00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:27,000
procrastinate anymore make these changes now do what you need to do now none of

445
00:39:27,000 --> 00:39:31,840
us are here forever we don't know what's gonna happen when it if the when the

446
00:39:31,840 --> 00:39:36,680
clock changes to 2025 some of us aren't gonna be here anymore so let's make sure

447
00:39:36,680 --> 00:39:45,480
that the the 365 we have until then are used to the best of our ability you're

448
00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:49,160
not gonna have you met you may be gone but even more important than that is the

449
00:39:49,160 --> 00:39:53,000
people in your life may be gone the matter you're gonna lose friends you're

450
00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:55,840
gonna lose family members and this does not necessarily I'm not saying though

451
00:39:55,840 --> 00:39:58,720
these people are gonna die I'm saying you know these are these are things that

452
00:39:58,720 --> 00:40:01,640
these people disappear they go other ways that people move in different

453
00:40:01,640 --> 00:40:05,760
directions you may have to move away whatever it may be there are all sorts

454
00:40:05,760 --> 00:40:12,640
of things that happen in life where you lose contact people move on from you you

455
00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:16,320
you know whatever the situation may be and it's gonna be painful and it's gonna

456
00:40:16,320 --> 00:40:22,360
suck but more important than all of that is understanding that those moments that

457
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:29,640
you have those times that you have the laughs that you have they are so so

458
00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:34,800
important because each one of them is a memory that you will take with you into

459
00:40:34,800 --> 00:40:44,080
2025 this year should be about building and growing and becoming the best

460
00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:50,000
version of you that you possibly can be every single day every day is a new year

461
00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:56,440
as far as you're concerned every day is a step in the direction of you becoming

462
00:40:56,440 --> 00:41:01,600
better than you were the day before the week before the month before and the

463
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:06,360
year before that's your goal that should be all of our goals that's my goal that's

464
00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:09,800
that's exactly what I plan on doing every day I'm gonna learn something

465
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:13,760
every day I'm gonna feel something new every day I'm going to try to expand

466
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:21,840
myself and if I miss a day okay I miss I miss a day but I'm gonna try I'm gonna

467
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:26,040
try to make it a conscious decision every day I'm gonna try to be deliberate

468
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:31,840
and and understand that I need to be grateful I need to live in gratitude for

469
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:35,400
the things that I have and the people that I have and I'm going to try to

470
00:41:35,400 --> 00:41:40,240
strengthen those connections that I have in my life and if I can I'm gonna try to

471
00:41:40,240 --> 00:41:43,520
reach out and grab some more maybe through this podcast maybe through the

472
00:41:43,520 --> 00:41:47,840
tik-tok channel maybe I'll just bump into people at the grocery store but

473
00:41:47,840 --> 00:41:54,680
every single day gives you opportunities to seize greatness and to seize a

474
00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:59,480
moment that you may not have ever had again or you may not ever have again

475
00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:03,840
capture it just like the song you know would you capture it or just let it

476
00:42:03,840 --> 00:42:09,040
slip remember that that's one of the most powerful lines of music ever written

477
00:42:09,040 --> 00:42:15,960
and it means so much when you really stop and think about it you have to be

478
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:19,800
willing to capture the moment and it doesn't matter what the date is it

479
00:42:19,800 --> 00:42:25,520
really doesn't don't think about New Year's as the time to turn things over

480
00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:33,120
every single day from today on is a new year as far as you're concerned remember

481
00:42:33,120 --> 00:42:40,340
that and understand that at any point should you need you know should you need

482
00:42:40,340 --> 00:42:44,400
somebody to help you out should you need somebody to encourage you should you

483
00:42:44,400 --> 00:42:47,960
need somebody to push you along you can come back and listen to this episode or

484
00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:53,080
you can you know hit me up on tik-tok I'll be there I'll be there every day

485
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:57,960
helping people out doing what I can do encouraging people trying to make sure

486
00:42:57,960 --> 00:43:01,200
that people understand how powerful they are and how important they are in this

487
00:43:01,200 --> 00:43:07,960
world that's what I'm gonna do with my new year what are you gonna do I think I

488
00:43:07,960 --> 00:43:12,440
think on that note though I am gonna start to wrap this up I did want to point

489
00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:19,400
out to everybody that our next episode spurred on by a conversation that I had

490
00:43:19,400 --> 00:43:25,720
recently where I was accused of being disrespectful to somebody I'm going to

491
00:43:25,720 --> 00:43:31,640
make an entire episode about the concept of respect and its importance to me and

492
00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:37,200
how I think about it because I am somewhat insulted by the fact that

493
00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:41,920
somebody would consider would accuse me of being disrespectful now obviously I

494
00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:46,680
can be I when I choose to be and in this particular situation which I will

495
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:50,400
explain I actually I made a tick-tock about it but I will explain it again in

496
00:43:50,400 --> 00:43:57,040
the podcast episode it is it is stunning to me that somebody with so little

497
00:43:57,040 --> 00:44:01,640
ability to show respect could accuse me of disrespect but we will get into that

498
00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:06,720
in the next episode so it won't be it won't be all just me being petty it will

499
00:44:06,720 --> 00:44:11,280
be talking about respect and and some exercises that we can do to kind of

500
00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:17,800
learn how what it really means to people and and how you can exercise it and make

501
00:44:17,800 --> 00:44:21,080
it so that you're really showing it on a level that maybe you didn't really

502
00:44:21,080 --> 00:44:26,960
think about before so that's what our next episode is gonna be I do want to

503
00:44:26,960 --> 00:44:34,720
leave this episode though with an understanding of where I am right now for

504
00:44:34,720 --> 00:44:43,400
everybody that listens I have as I alluded to earlier I have undergone a

505
00:44:43,400 --> 00:44:50,280
massive transformation this year in October of this year I was as low as I

506
00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:56,640
have ever been and in those that day I don't know if it was the 17th or not

507
00:44:56,640 --> 00:45:03,840
that's just the date I'm using on that day at that evening I should say I was

508
00:45:03,840 --> 00:45:13,640
I was struck as low as I could have been I literally was at the end and now I'm

509
00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:21,560
here and it's January 1st 2024 and I'm making this episode and I want everybody

510
00:45:21,560 --> 00:45:29,920
that hears this and all five of you to really understand that this is the start

511
00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:35,600
of a new thing for me unlike any other point in my life and any other point

512
00:45:35,600 --> 00:45:41,280
where New Year's has been celebrated today is the start of something new for

513
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:49,800
me literally yesterday I closed the book on 16 year relationship slash friendship

514
00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:55,960
and it was the last the last like volley over the shore if you will there was

515
00:45:55,960 --> 00:46:04,240
there's nothing else left there and so I have ended a 16 year friendship a 16

516
00:46:04,240 --> 00:46:11,720
year relationship I should say and today is the first day of that and so that is

517
00:46:11,720 --> 00:46:20,080
just one part of this new me you know and and what's funny is that that that

518
00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:29,000
relationship began ending at the same point that you know October 17th or

519
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:34,720
whatever at the same point that I had this I want to say epiphany this this

520
00:46:34,720 --> 00:46:39,880
vision I don't know what you call it of trying to make the world a better place

521
00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:45,800
they those two events coincided and obviously for those that you know maybe

522
00:46:45,800 --> 00:46:49,320
can't pick up on context clues those two have something to do with each other the

523
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:56,640
point of depression that I hit had to do with that relationship and the fact that

524
00:46:56,640 --> 00:47:04,760
I was trying so hard to find a way through to rebuild that relationship

525
00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:11,040
that has a lot to do with where I'm at now so basically what I want to say here

526
00:47:11,040 --> 00:47:17,520
is through this next year if you're hearing this you are going to have

527
00:47:17,520 --> 00:47:24,000
trials and tribulations you are going to have heartbreak and loss you are going

528
00:47:24,000 --> 00:47:29,920
it's not all going to be good what you do with it is what determines if it's

529
00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:35,400
good or not in those moments you will feel lost you will feel betrayed you will

530
00:47:35,400 --> 00:47:40,760
feel hurt you will feel the pain but what you do from that is what matters

531
00:47:40,760 --> 00:47:46,160
what I'm doing right now recording this podcast is something that a year ago as

532
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:51,280
we moved into 2023 I never could have imagined myself doing this I never

533
00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:56,200
could have imagined myself sitting here talking and hoping that somebody heard

534
00:47:56,200 --> 00:48:02,680
it I could never have imagined making 30 hours of tik-tok films or movies or

535
00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:05,880
videos whatever you want to call them and that's what I've done I have

536
00:48:05,880 --> 00:48:10,200
literally made more content in two months than some people have made in

537
00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:13,840
their entire lives and most people actually have made in their entire lives

538
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:17,520
and I'm continuing to put out videos that's what I'm going to keep doing I'm

539
00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:22,240
going to stay as active on that platform as I possibly can and try to build the

540
00:48:22,240 --> 00:48:26,120
community there and try to draw people here through that community that's what

541
00:48:26,120 --> 00:48:33,480
my goal is and all of that came out of the end of a relationship the end of a

542
00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:40,760
friendship the end of 16 years of my life with someone it all came from

543
00:48:40,760 --> 00:48:50,080
really really painful negative horrible moments but now I look at it and I think

544
00:48:50,080 --> 00:48:56,000
where would I be if that hadn't happened where would I be right now if that

545
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:59,160
hadn't happened I would be doing the same thing I was doing at the start of

546
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:05,200
2023 nothing really would have changed so you have to start to understand that

547
00:49:05,200 --> 00:49:09,680
these things are happening I don't want to I don't want to put import like and

548
00:49:09,680 --> 00:49:13,560
say it's for a reason I'm not gonna do that I'm but I'm gonna say is the way

549
00:49:13,560 --> 00:49:18,100
that you respond the way that you behave after these things happen because they

550
00:49:18,100 --> 00:49:22,400
are going to happen you're going to have loss you're going to have pain the way

551
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:27,480
that you respond in light of that the things that you build out of it that's

552
00:49:27,480 --> 00:49:35,280
what matters that's what matters it's like imagine somebody building a house

553
00:49:35,280 --> 00:49:40,400
of cards right it's beautiful when it's when it when they start to build it and

554
00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:45,080
I've never I've never been able to build more than like a single story thing I

555
00:49:45,080 --> 00:49:48,320
don't know how these people build these giant ones but somebody builds you know

556
00:49:48,320 --> 00:49:54,640
a giant five-story house of cards and then somebody comes along and they just

557
00:49:54,640 --> 00:49:59,120
destroy it all right they just put a fist through it well what that person

558
00:49:59,120 --> 00:50:04,920
does next with those cards is is what determines how that story ends right it's

559
00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:08,560
not the end the ending of the story is not just some jerk came and knocked my

560
00:50:08,560 --> 00:50:14,240
cards over the end of the story is do you rebuild that house do you strengthen

561
00:50:14,240 --> 00:50:19,120
it do you put you know some something on the on the bottom levels so that or do

562
00:50:19,120 --> 00:50:23,520
you build a castle or do you just pick up the cards and play a game there's

563
00:50:23,520 --> 00:50:27,200
there's so many options of what you can do when somebody destroys part of your

564
00:50:27,200 --> 00:50:31,600
life there's so many things that you can do when somebody comes in and wrecks

565
00:50:31,600 --> 00:50:40,200
what you thought you were building but no matter what the only thing you can't

566
00:50:40,200 --> 00:50:45,440
do is leave the cards on the ground right you have to pick them up and you

567
00:50:45,440 --> 00:50:50,440
have to build something else now what you do is up to you how great it becomes

568
00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:54,080
is up to you but you have to build something else because you can't let

569
00:50:54,080 --> 00:51:00,480
somebody knock your cards down and leave you just there looking at them you have

570
00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:07,680
to pick them up you have to keep going you have to keep trying so with that

571
00:51:07,680 --> 00:51:13,800
note I'm gonna leave you with something my sister for Christmas gave me a

572
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:17,200
calendar and it's funny because I haven't actually had one of these

573
00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:21,720
calendars in a long long time but it's one of those calendars where you tear

574
00:51:21,720 --> 00:51:25,800
off a page every day and it has a different message and she gave it to me

575
00:51:25,800 --> 00:51:28,800
because of I was doing the podcast and I'm doing the tik-tok videos and she

576
00:51:28,800 --> 00:51:32,120
thought that it would be a really good inspiration so I'm going to leave this

577
00:51:32,120 --> 00:51:39,920
episode with the January 1st message on this calendar and I think that it's

578
00:51:39,920 --> 00:51:45,960
somewhat fitting the the calendar is actually called you are a badass and the

579
00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:50,480
the message is this and this goes to you if you're listening to this this message

580
00:51:50,480 --> 00:51:56,760
is for you and I mean that you are loved massively ferociously

581
00:51:56,760 --> 00:52:01,960
unconditionally the universe is totally freaking out about how awesome you are

582
00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:07,960
it's got you wrapped in a warm gorilla hug of adoration it wants to give you

583
00:52:07,960 --> 00:52:14,620
everything you desire it wants you to be happy it wants you to see what it sees

584
00:52:14,620 --> 00:52:23,680
in you that's the universe talking right not just the calendar I think that's a

585
00:52:23,680 --> 00:52:28,880
good thing to end on and I think that when my sister listens to this if she

586
00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:32,160
listens to this she doesn't listen to every episode but if she listens to this

587
00:52:32,160 --> 00:52:36,840
episode I think that that will bring a smile to her face knowing that her her

588
00:52:36,840 --> 00:52:42,920
Christmas gift made it into the into the podcast quite literally so there you go

589
00:52:42,920 --> 00:52:50,320
folks as as much as I've kind of shit on New Year's and the concept of it I do

590
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:56,320
hope that everybody has a very good New Year I hope that 2024 brings you

591
00:52:56,320 --> 00:53:04,560
happiness and joy and prosperity and love and I hope that despite my you know

592
00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:09,720
negative rantings here and there and my doom saying that any pain or any loss

593
00:53:09,720 --> 00:53:15,240
that you may feel is only there to help build you up for the next phase of your

594
00:53:15,240 --> 00:53:19,800
life you know we all go through pain we all go through loss but what we do with

595
00:53:19,800 --> 00:53:27,000
it is what matters in the end so remember that and remember that as as

596
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:32,880
much of a negative Nancy as I can be I'm still here saying this happy New Year I

597
00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:39,160
hope that it's a good one I hope that it's better and in the words of my

598
00:53:39,160 --> 00:53:44,080
favorite band and one of my favorite songs of all time my favorite band is

599
00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:48,760
counting crows and my one of my favorite songs of all time is a long December and

600
00:53:48,760 --> 00:53:55,360
as as it says in that song it's been a long December and there's reason to

601
00:53:55,360 --> 00:54:01,560
believe maybe this year will be better than the last I can't remember all the

602
00:54:01,560 --> 00:54:09,300
times I've tried to tell myself to hold on to these moments as they pass happy

603
00:54:09,300 --> 00:54:27,320
New Year everybody have a good one

604
00:54:39,300 --> 00:54:41,360
you

605
00:55:09,300 --> 00:55:11,360
you

606
00:55:39,660 --> 00:55:42,320
E

607
00:55:47,920 --> 00:55:49,980
you

608
00:55:49,980 --> 00:55:54,980
.

609
00:55:54,980 --> 00:55:59,980
.

610
00:55:59,980 --> 00:56:04,980
.

611
00:56:04,980 --> 00:56:07,980
.

612
00:56:07,980 --> 00:56:09,980
.

613
00:56:09,980 --> 00:56:12,980
.

614
00:56:12,980 --> 00:56:13,980
.

615
00:56:13,980 --> 00:56:14,980
.

616
00:58:14,980 --> 00:58:16,980
You