Hey folks, welcome to episode 9 of a Pebble in a Pond podcast and 2024, happy
new year! I am actually going to be recording this, well I am recording this,
in two parts. There was going to be some recorded earlier in the week and then
some that is recorded the night of New Year's Eve, New Year's Day over that
period. So if you hear pops and explosions and stuff in the background, I
apologize for that, there's going to be revelry outside. So if you hear it, I
apologize, I'm gonna try to keep the sound from affecting it too much,
but that's just the nature of the beast when you try to capture the moment
and magic of New Year's Eve, I guess. Now I'm not gonna lie to you folks, we're
gonna start this episode, we're gonna cue the music in just a minute, but I'm gonna
tell you how this episode is gonna go right up front. I am NOT a really big fan
of New Year's Eve, or New Year's, the whole celebration really. I am NOT
somebody who has ever, like at one point, at any point in my life have I had the
ability to kind of get into it. And because of that, I think that I want to
be upfront with it and try to, you know, brace everybody that's listening to this
episode for the fact that I'm gonna start this being kind of negative, being
down on it a little bit. I will ramp into the positives and the beauty and
and some of the great things about the holiday that I do see and I do understand,
but I want to make sure that I'm being as open and honest as I can, that for the
first five ten minutes of this I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be speaking from the heart
for me, but for some of you it might be a little negative. So I just want to make
sure that it's out there and I'm gonna set the tone before we before we play
the music, I'm gonna set the tone with my first quote of the episode. And it is a
quote that has literally been in my head since I read it when I was, I want to say
17 or 18 years old. Every single New Year's I think this and maybe that's one
of the reasons why it maybe it's a self-fulfilling prophecy, but as I've
said on in some TikTok videos and as I'm sure some of you may have noticed, I am a
bit of a cynic and if you're a cynic in this world like I am, there is no greater
piece of literature known to man than the Devil's Dictionary by Ambrose Beers.
It is it is quite literally a cynics handbook. Well Ambrose Beers, even
thinking about it makes me laugh. Ambrose Beers wrote year, noun, a period of 365
disappointments. Now I know that that's exceedingly negative and I appreciate
the fact that some most people that hear that are not gonna get the laugh out of
it that I do, but I can't think of a better way for somebody like me to start
an episode about an idea and a concept that I'm not really on board with, but I
do understand why people are. So with that in mind, understanding that I'm
coming from, that I'm starting the episode from the position of enjoy your
next 365 disappointments, we'll go right into the episode. Let's cue the music.
So I guess I should just start with why I have such a distaste for this this
holiday, and I want to be really clear here. It's not it's not so much that I
don't understand people celebrating it, it's not so much that I it's just for me
I have always felt like okay it's not just for me. It is a fact. It is a
completely arbitrary just made-up thing right? Like I understand that it's the
start of a calendar new year. I get that, but it has no actual significance in
terms of like like I had somebody actually argue with me at one point in
time that it's you know it's us making it around the Sun one more time and no
no it's not. It has absolutely no astronomical significance whatsoever. You
know we have ways of charting and knowing exactly how or when we've made
it around the Sun and and our calendar that we use is not the way to do it. So
if you want to go by like the astronomical you know in astronomy if
you want to use that then that's fine like celebrate that but it's you know
it's different it changes actually every year it's off by you know it could be
off by a couple of days you can be off by a couple hours but it's definitely
not January 1st and because of that you know I what I have seen in my life is
and this is again I'm going to continue to you know apologize for those of you
that are you know not not understanding where I'm coming from what I have seen
over and over and over again on New Year's is and this I mean this goes back
from when I was a kid I've seen people ramp up and everyday normal people get
all excited about it and everybody talks about it and they sell the stuff in the
stores for it and everybody has their traditions for it and then the year is
the exact same as the day before as the year before nothing changes these
people don't actually make any changes in their lives they don't actually you
know nothing moves and what's interesting about it is that you know we
celebrate January 1st as if it's like the day that things are gonna change
we're going to make these changes in our lives we're going to be better we're
they're gonna on this day but that's not what happens right like I'll use I'll
use myself as an example this year on October 16th or 17th I'm not sure what
the day was because it doesn't matter I slipped into a point of my depression
that I could not could not get out of there was no there was no return for me
I was either going to be gone for lack of a better word I was going to finish
the job if you will clock out is another way of putting it or I was going to have
to like commit myself I was gonna have to go into you know I there's no there
was no way out at that point in time for me and then boom something happened I
don't know what I don't know how to describe it and I don't really know I
have never I have yet to I actually have been researching it but I have no
therapist or psychiatric explanation that I've read that matches up with what
I've experienced but I I was just through it and it happened literally in
an instant and with with a vision or an epiphany if you want to call it that of
what I should do next and what I should do next was this this is what I should
do next and that change happened on October 17th like this wasn't this
wasn't January 1st this wasn't but but it literally changed my life it changed
the direction of my life it changed the the things that I held valuable and the
things that and my way of perceiving the world changed in one instant and one day
and I haven't been the same since and I don't foresee me being the same going
forward I have since then I have evolved rapidly I have been making changes in my
life and I have been losing people in my life and I have you know my life is very
different since that day than it was for literally years before that day and so
with keeping that in mind understanding that that change happened on October
17th I don't think of it as oh well that was 2023 I think of it as that day the
same way that people think of January 1st and it always just seems so
arbitrary to me it always just seems so weird to me to to celebrate this one day
when you know December 31st whatever year it may be you go out you party and
you have a good time and January 1st of the next year it's the you're the same
thing you know you got to show up and go to work you got a you know whatever it
may be it's the same thing as it was the day before or that you know what you
don't know he breaks the cycle on that day and and obviously like I said I know
that there are people out there that do that put in their best effort and use
the holiday as a reason to I guess move forward I I guess I just I have a hard
time fooling myself I just see the I see the reality of the situation that most
people that I've ever met make a big deal out of it and then go about
thinking and doing and being the same exact way the next day nothing actually
changes they just like to say it does and it it just bothered me after a while
I just I guess I just became somewhat jaded about it I became you know it
started I actually would get angry when people would be like oh and I'm gonna do
this in the new year and I'm gonna do this in the new year and I I would just
look at him and be like you've said that for three years now like nothing has
changed you're the same exact person over and over and over again you're
doing the same exact things and then you just complain about it for all the time
you just complain all the time about the things that you say you're gonna change
and you never change them and this is not this is listen I'm not trying to
like that happens for all of us I am a very good example of that for you
literally 15 years I was in a massive depression one where I was being gas lit
and lied to and treated unfairly and poorly by people that I held extremely
close to me and any any of my depression that I could have crawled out of was
immediately like any progress I would make was immediately negated by the fact
that I was not you know I didn't I didn't understand the reality of the
situation I was not given agency by the people around me to you know pull myself
up and so I would find myself feeling worse and worse instead of better and
better now that's not to say that I blame anybody for me being a depressed
person that's just to say I was depressed and every time I would try to
get out of it every time I would see you know a truth or an honesty that that
would maybe help me pull myself out of it that was immediately squashed by some
of the people around me and that's unfortunate but we're not there anymore
right like we're moving on and so I guess the reason I bring that up and the
reason I'm using that as an example here is because this is the first time and
if that's why I did this episode this is the first time where I genuinely can see
a new year mattering to me in a like as long as I can remember as long as I can
remember this is the first time that I see it being a new year shift being
important to me and part of that is like I said what what my my way of seeing
things and the way that people kind of kept me from well there's another
explosion the way that people kind of kept me from spreading my wings I guess
sorry that explosion kind of rocked my world there that was really loud that
was that was really loud actually sound like it was right outside my wall I
don't know if you guys heard that or not but it was crazy this is this may be a
failed experiment maybe trying to make this episode but there's explosions and
things going off in the background I'm certainly going to lose my train of
thought here and there so anyway the point I was trying to make and I'm just
I'm not gonna edit this because I want people to understand that I'm you know
this is happening at that point in time so anyway yes I want to make sure that I
am showing you guys why this particular year and why this change matters to me
and why I wanted to make this episode is exactly I see I see now I have a better
understanding of where people are coming from and and I want to feel that same
hope and so that's why I'm gonna ramp this episode up into some of the
positive stuff is because I want that feeling and in literally literally years
and years of my life I have I have been negative and cynical and jaded and I
have not understood that feeling at all but this year even though I still
believe that the date is arbitrary because of the changes that I feel and
that have taken place in me happened two months ago I'm still changing and I
still see that this next year that's coming 2024 is going to be a very
different year for me than many of the years prior and it's gonna be difficult
and it's gonna be painful but it's also going to be hopefully exceedingly
rewarding personally and in every other way that I can imagine so with that in
mind I'm going to give you my next quote and this this is gonna be the end of the
negativity if I can help it I mean I'm sure I'm gonna say some things over the
next little bit that's going to sound negative but this quote is the reason
this quote is the reason why I will always hold firm that New Year's Eve is
arbitrary and kind of silly and this quote is actually by Ralph Waldo
Emerson and I'm sure you guys have noticed if you've listened to the other
episodes I quote Emerson and Thoreau quite a bit only because I have since I
was a young young boy identified very strongly with their way of thinking and
Emerson especially is you'd be hard-pressed to find anything that he
said that I didn't at some point agree with I know that there were some things
that here and there that were obviously questionable now and you know I agree
with those but I don't agree with those but for the most part his way of
thinking his way of I guess seeing the world very much aligns with mine but he
said write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year and
that that to me says everything you need to know about New Year's for me every
day for me is a new year I don't think I don't ever wait if I if I can help it I
don't ever wait to change I don't ever wait to be different I don't ever wait
to do the thing and part of that is just because I'm really big on instant
gratification but also it's because I've never understood waiting why people say
I'm gonna wait until on New Year's Day I'm gonna start working out of the gym
on this day I'm gonna start doing this why why why wait just do it on New Year's
Day I'm gonna go talk to this person that I haven't talked to in a long time
why you don't know if you're gonna make the New Year's Day you can't promise
that go do it now go make the changes now go go talk to the people now go do
the things you need to do now don't wait don't procrastinate because you get to
say I doing it for the new year that's that's honestly it makes me kind of
angry just saying that but you know that that is a mistake that people make
throughout the world over and over again they wait and they look for these
these benchmarks they look for you know guidance instead of just doing the thing
that they need they want or they need to do don't wait if you know that something
is going to create change and positivity and it's going to enable you to you know
spread your wings and fly and to speak then then just do it don't wait don't
ever wait for a new year and don't think that somehow that magical clock change
is going to be the answer to your to your questions that's not that's not how
that works and most of you that listen to this know that only children think
that you know a clock changing from 12 to 1 is somehow going to be the
difference you know we read about that in in fiction books when we're children
and we want to believe it but we all know that that's not what does it it has
nothing to do with that clock changing it has to do with what we do and how we
do it the the direction that we point ourselves in and if we can take that
step so don't wait don't ever wait because every single day every single
day and every moment in every day is important and you have to remember that
that the whole point of this podcast and of my tick-tock channel and of all the
other socials that I'm starting to work on now which is my resolution by the way
no I'm joking that's not a resolution the the whole point of this is that
these small changes that you can make in your life these small things that you
can do they are the difference so you don't wait to do them you you make the
changes now and you start and you do it every day so that it becomes a habit and
you become good at it and you really begin to appreciate and see the effects
of your changes and the decisions that you're making that's the whole point
you know you're not it's not gonna be like I said earlier I'm somebody who is
very much about instant gratification well this isn't a matter of instant
gratification but it is a matter of seeing the fruits of your labor and of
the decisions and choices that you're making over time but you will see them a
lot quicker than you think you will it's like it's like you know when you go to
the gym I'm sure many of you know that if you go to the gym and you go once
it's not gonna do anything you're gonna be in a little bit of pain afterwards
but it's not gonna do anything you go twice still not gonna do anything you go
three times probably not gonna do anything you're probably not gonna see
much you might feel a little bit better afterwards if you these are three days
in a row if you go or maybe you'll hurt a little bit more but if you go to the
gym five days a week for 20 minutes every day and you do that for three weeks
you're gonna see a difference you're gonna feel a difference you're gonna
notice a change it's not gonna be giant it's not gonna be you're not gonna walk
out looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger but you you will you will see a
difference and then you go again the next month and then you will start to
see what's happening you'll start to understand exactly what all of your work
that you put in and all that time that you're using what it's doing and the
same thing goes with the decisions and the choices you make in in your life and
the way that you move through this world if you start to make these small choices
and these small decisions you know you get up and you say you know what today
I'm going to smile at everybody that I can that's it I'm just gonna try to try
to keep a smile on my face no matter what happens no matter what you know what
what challenges come in the day I'm going to try to smile or you say you
know what today I'm going to I'm just going to focus on the things that I'm
grateful for the things the people that that bring me joy I'm just gonna focus
and think about those things when I get in my car I'm gonna be grateful for the
fact that I can get in my car and drive to work and I'm not gonna be upset about
how long it takes or the traffic or I'm just gonna think about the fact that I
get to get in this car and drive spend you know 30 minutes or however long you
drive is I get to spend 30 minutes in my car with myself listen to the music
listen into a podcast just being with myself for 30 minutes of peace and
quiet and then I get to get to work and yeah it'll be hectic but I'm gonna be
grateful for the fact that I have a job that I can go to and that I know that I
have stable income at least somewhat stable income and I know that I'm you
know able to provide for the people in my household being being intentionally
grateful is a great great way to change the way you see this world and I promise
you that if you do that if you if you do it just like going to the gym if you get
up every day and you say this is what we're gonna do we're gonna focus on
being grateful this is what we're gonna do we're gonna focus on being this we're
gonna focus all these good things and some of the things we've talked about in
this podcast not this episode but you know in other episodes some of if you if
you focus on doing these things if you focus on these small just decisions and
choices and ways of thinking and you do it every day for a few weeks you're
gonna start to see the difference you're gonna start to see the change people
are gonna interact with you differently people are gonna want to go out of their
way to be around you people are gonna want to ask you for help and guidance
and they're going to appreciate the things and and what what happens then
is not only do you feel better but I promise you that more avenues will open
up for you you know if you're at work and you've been one a promotion well the
best way to get that is obviously do your job well but also make sure that
other people notice you make sure that people appreciate your your persona
that they appreciate who you are and that they you know you bring that energy
and that light into the room when you walk in and the best way to do that is
by these you know understanding that these little things that you do and so
that's what I mean when I say don't wait don't wait for some arbitrary date that
really doesn't mean anything to make these changes in your life January 1st
today is the day right like we've waited for it so you have no excuse at this
point in time whatever change you would planning on making today is the day now
I would have been perfectly happy with you making that change on December 23rd
or December 7th or November 14th or November 1st I would any of any date any
date is fine as far as I'm concerned because that is the best day of the year
according to Emerson if you make it that way if you make it that way and if you
believe that every day is the start of another 365 years then every single day
is New Year's you can't say that about birthdays you can't say that about about
Christmas you can't say that about the 4th of July those are only one day but
New Year's New Year's is every day now for those of you that are imbibing and
partying you probably don't need it to be every day right now show a little
self-control but uh other than that you know the the mental shifts and the way
that we we focus on the day to kind of bring about renewal and change that's
every day that's every day because we just made this crap up we just made it
up that date is not astronomical in any sense there is no actual weight to this
day in any way shape or form other than what we add to it so break the cycle
break the way of thinking that this is somehow a special day the only thing
that makes it special is what you do with it that's what makes it special and
that can happen any day but if you have waited if you have waited for this day
and you're listening to this podcast you have no excuse any longer do it
whatever the thing is that you were gonna put off until New Year's now is
the time this is what we've waited for and you have no reason no excuse not to
follow through on your promises I know that sounds harsh I know it sounds like
I'm being just being a jerk but I'm not I genuinely believe that you know we've
waited people wait a lot of people do that but you know what's what's your
reason now why procrastinate now why put it off now we are in the new year this
is 2024 let's get going let's do the thing right now I had planned on going
into a long thing here next but I kind of went wrong long on that that first
segment so I think I'm gonna change it up a little bit I do want to tell this
story and I'm gonna try to keep it short so that I don't keep you guys here for
another hour episode but um I have one of the strongest memories I have of New
Year's we like I said before I've never really celebrated New Year's like I've
never really been like I think I've done like a couple of like you know oh it's
midnight give me a kiss kind of things in my life it's just my family and me
and most people I know don't really care about New Year's because you know it's
just they just never really meant anything everybody had to go to work the
next day it wasn't really that big a deal that being said I do remember I
don't remember how old I was I want to say I was like 24 25 maybe a friend of
mine invited me and my best friend out to Universal for New Year's Eve well let
me tell you that if I didn't already have a distaste distaste for New Year's I
certainly did after that I will never ever again go to a theme park or a large
like you know massive gathering of strangers I would never go to you know
Times Square for New Year's Rockin Eve I would never do that I just that holds no
no I don't have any desire to do that and I get it it's an event and people
get I'm not saying that you shouldn't do it I'm just saying I would never do that
and and the reason why I would never do this because this this time I went to
Universal and I just I just think this story is funny because it's it's kind of
it kind of is a emblematic of I think one of my problems and also it's just a
funny story so this was a friend of mine who worked at Universal got us free
tickets and then it was me and my friend who at the time hadn't had a lot of luck
with the ladies if you will and so he was really looking forward to getting out
there and you know the the general man thought of you know I'm gonna be out
there there's gonna be a bunch of hot girls and you know they're ever he's
gonna be kissing and making out at New Year's and it's kind of silly when you
think about it now but that was the thought process at the time for him now
I had a girlfriend at the time so I you know I don't have a problem giving a girl
a peck on the cheek or something but I wasn't out there to make out with
anybody so we get out there and it's it's packed I mean you can't walk easily
from like one part of the park to another it was literally packed and this
we got out there probably I want to say it was like eight o'clock when he got
out there and we spent you know a couple hours walking around trying to get on
rides it was all just it was just too much so we ended up just kind of sitting
in one spot like for an hour to and it was cold it was you know this is a this
is universal in Florida so it but for Florida it was very very very very cold
so we're all bundled up and trying to stay warm and and all the girls that you
know he was looking forward to are all bundled up and shaken and shivering
because they're all cold so nobody's you know nobody's really partying or
anything like that but everybody's kind of like in their little corners and I
remember seeing this like I don't know it was probably I think it was like four
or five girls and he saw them too and they were probably I want to say 20 21
looking a couple of them had drinks so I assumed they were 21 and he was like oh
you know looking at this one girl in the group and he was like fascinated with
hers he thought she was so pretty I was like oh go talk to her this is the day
all right right like this is the time when you do that this is he's like oh
yeah I will I'll go talk to her and so we we try to maneuver so that he's we're
close to this group of girls that he liked the one and he just sat there he
didn't he didn't talk to her and it's getting you know it's like 1145 and I'm
like you better talk to her if you I mean she's just there with a group of
her girlfriends there's no other dudes talking to her you just you might as
well go talk to her he's like yeah yeah I will I will like it's 1145 bro you got
to get out there you got it you know game on and he's like yeah yeah I will I
will I'm like so I realized at like 1150 I'm like oh he's not gonna he's not gonna
do anything he's gonna let this opportunity pass so I didn't I didn't
like wasn't trying to steal anybody's thunder I genuinely was just trying to
wingman for this dude right like I was I was genuinely trying to help him so I go
over to this group of girls and I just start talking I'm like hey you know I
noticed you guys were just here together I got a couple guys over here and we're
you know we're getting ready to celebrate the new year you know just
thought maybe we come over and hang out with you guys for a little bit and they
were they were already kind of drunk like three of them were already
basically drunk and they're like yeah sure come on over you know like partying
and stuff and so that I think because they outnumbered us there wasn't there
wasn't this like fear of these guys and you know I don't know I don't know the
good guys I were with were not like intimidating looking guys so I that had
a lot to do with it too I think so I call them over and you know we're all
just hanging out and and you know we've only got a few minutes like by the time
they get over there and we're it's like five minutes too so everybody's getting
all excited people are standing up people are getting you know you can hear
the crowd like getting ready and they I don't remember where they had it but I
think was like there's like a lake in the middle of universal that everybody
can see and I think they had a big clock there well what was interesting about is
the clock was off but everybody was going by that clock like it was already
like according to like watches and phones and stuff it was you know we were
we were rolling up on midnight and but nobody cared about that like so it was
weird because some people were looking at their clocks and their watches and
like oh it's New Year's like everybody we celebrating like happy New Year's you
heard that throughout the smatterings of it throughout the crowd but it didn't
matter because everybody was just watching the clock in the middle of the
lake which was off by like two minutes two and a half minutes so we're just
sitting there watching that and the clock gets to one minute and people are
getting excited and you know it turns to seconds and people are getting excited
and he hasn't said one damn word to this girl just stood next to her didn't say
a thing to her like maybe smiled at her and didn't say anything didn't you know
didn't say you know hi my name is or nothing just just stood there and looked
at her and I'm sitting there looking at him like you I mean like literally you're
on a countdown clock now you better make a move you better say something to do
or you better get her attention if you want those lips on you and he just
didn't he's insane thing so that we get down to you know ten nine eight and I'm
looking at him he's looking at me and he looks back at her and he just kind of
kind of moves takes a step in and he just kind of gets close to her and she
kind of looks at him and she kind of like you know like what the hell are you
doing like she she like kind of flinches because she didn't she didn't know what
his intentions were he hadn't said a thing to her he just stood there so he
in this like six second countdown he goes from just being a body next to her
to literally being somebody that she's like you know hell away from me so she
she reacts poorly obviously and six five four and two of these drunk girls now
have crowded near me and she he's basically you know intimidating this
other girl because he's he thinks he's gonna go in and like sneak a kiss on her
I think I think that's what he really believed he was he was gonna you know
just she was gonna be so caught up in the moment he was just gonna be able to
give her a quick peck I don't think he really understood how these things
worked so she's kind of maneuvering over by me so that we get down to three two
one every says happy new year and three girls including the girl that that he
was had been trying to maneuver all come in and like give me kisses on my cheeks
and my and they're all you know I have my arm around two of them and they're
all like you know not making out with me but they're all like you know put their
hands on my shoulders and my chest and I'm you know they're jumping up and down
and I'm I'm basically the their their support so they can jump higher and
stuff like that and it was one of those things where I tell the story now and
it's funny to me I think back on it but it really is emblematic of one of the
problems that I have with New Year's and and like I said I'm this is not a
negative thing but this is this is a lesson this is a lesson for everyone my
friend there had in his sights what he wanted for that moment he knew exactly
what it was that he thought he needed going forward he wanted this girl's
attention he wanted this girl's affection he wanted to be the one that
she was celebrating this moment with but he did nothing to make that happen he
was afraid and I'm not knocking that I'm not saying there's anything wrong with
him being afraid what I am saying is that you only have that one moment right
like you only have that moment that the moment's gone after that he's not gonna
get that chance again so you can't let fear stop you you can't ever let fear
stop you in those moments you know the it's it's I know it's trite to a lot of
people but the the truest the truest thing you'll ever hear the truest lyric
in any song you'll ever hear is is in the song lose yourself by Eminem and I
know that everybody knows the song I know that if you listen to this you've
heard it before but those opening lines of that song are so important and
especially in moments like that where you know he had that one moment to get
what he wanted right and I'll just refresh your memory like if you don't
know the lines for some reason if you had one one shot one opportunity to
seize everything you ever wanted in one moment would you capture it or just let
it slip and that that way of thinking that that that way of being if you will
is so important for what we try to put on New Year's my friend had that
opportunity right he had that moment that girl that he was you know suddenly
infatuated with would have been on you know that could have been the start of
a beautiful relationship that would have lasted ten years or for the rest of his
life who knows but he was too afraid in that moment to really capture it and to
make it into something that mattered now you know full disclosure I like I said I
was in a loving committed relationship at that point in time I had no interest
in any of those girls whatsoever I was basically just there to help him and so
I never talked to any of them again I never even got any other names or
numbers or anything now that's not to say I couldn't have because they were
all relatively inebriated and probably easy pickings if you will I could have
talked to any of them if I wanted to but I didn't have that desire I was there
just to try to get his foot in the door just to try to help him out try to be a
conversation starter for him and you know it it didn't work out because he
would not initiate it he did not want to go further so with that story in mind
just remember that it doesn't matter and you know this goes back to my original
point in the previous segment it doesn't really matter what the date is if you
don't have the courage and the cojones as they say to grab the moment and make
it yours it doesn't matter what the date is you have to have the the wherewithal
and the chutzpah I keep using these words because I think it's funny to to
do it right like you have to make the thing happen it doesn't just happen
because the date changes you have to make it happen you have to want it and
and and if there's anything I want you to take out of this episode it's that
now is the time don't put it off anymore don't don't wait for the next year don't
procrastinate anymore make these changes now do what you need to do now none of
us are here forever we don't know what's gonna happen when it if the when the
clock changes to 2025 some of us aren't gonna be here anymore so let's make sure
that the the 365 we have until then are used to the best of our ability you're
not gonna have you met you may be gone but even more important than that is the
people in your life may be gone the matter you're gonna lose friends you're
gonna lose family members and this does not necessarily I'm not saying though
these people are gonna die I'm saying you know these are these are things that
these people disappear they go other ways that people move in different
directions you may have to move away whatever it may be there are all sorts
of things that happen in life where you lose contact people move on from you you
you know whatever the situation may be and it's gonna be painful and it's gonna
suck but more important than all of that is understanding that those moments that
you have those times that you have the laughs that you have they are so so
important because each one of them is a memory that you will take with you into
2025 this year should be about building and growing and becoming the best
version of you that you possibly can be every single day every day is a new year
as far as you're concerned every day is a step in the direction of you becoming
better than you were the day before the week before the month before and the
year before that's your goal that should be all of our goals that's my goal that's
that's exactly what I plan on doing every day I'm gonna learn something
every day I'm gonna feel something new every day I'm going to try to expand
myself and if I miss a day okay I miss I miss a day but I'm gonna try I'm gonna
try to make it a conscious decision every day I'm gonna try to be deliberate
and and understand that I need to be grateful I need to live in gratitude for
the things that I have and the people that I have and I'm going to try to
strengthen those connections that I have in my life and if I can I'm gonna try to
reach out and grab some more maybe through this podcast maybe through the
tik-tok channel maybe I'll just bump into people at the grocery store but
every single day gives you opportunities to seize greatness and to seize a
moment that you may not have ever had again or you may not ever have again
capture it just like the song you know would you capture it or just let it
slip remember that that's one of the most powerful lines of music ever written
and it means so much when you really stop and think about it you have to be
willing to capture the moment and it doesn't matter what the date is it
really doesn't don't think about New Year's as the time to turn things over
every single day from today on is a new year as far as you're concerned remember
that and understand that at any point should you need you know should you need
somebody to help you out should you need somebody to encourage you should you
need somebody to push you along you can come back and listen to this episode or
you can you know hit me up on tik-tok I'll be there I'll be there every day
helping people out doing what I can do encouraging people trying to make sure
that people understand how powerful they are and how important they are in this
world that's what I'm gonna do with my new year what are you gonna do I think I
think on that note though I am gonna start to wrap this up I did want to point
out to everybody that our next episode spurred on by a conversation that I had
recently where I was accused of being disrespectful to somebody I'm going to
make an entire episode about the concept of respect and its importance to me and
how I think about it because I am somewhat insulted by the fact that
somebody would consider would accuse me of being disrespectful now obviously I
can be I when I choose to be and in this particular situation which I will
explain I actually I made a tick-tock about it but I will explain it again in
the podcast episode it is it is stunning to me that somebody with so little
ability to show respect could accuse me of disrespect but we will get into that
in the next episode so it won't be it won't be all just me being petty it will
be talking about respect and and some exercises that we can do to kind of
learn how what it really means to people and and how you can exercise it and make
it so that you're really showing it on a level that maybe you didn't really
think about before so that's what our next episode is gonna be I do want to
leave this episode though with an understanding of where I am right now for
everybody that listens I have as I alluded to earlier I have undergone a
massive transformation this year in October of this year I was as low as I
have ever been and in those that day I don't know if it was the 17th or not
that's just the date I'm using on that day at that evening I should say I was
I was struck as low as I could have been I literally was at the end and now I'm
here and it's January 1st 2024 and I'm making this episode and I want everybody
that hears this and all five of you to really understand that this is the start
of a new thing for me unlike any other point in my life and any other point
where New Year's has been celebrated today is the start of something new for
me literally yesterday I closed the book on 16 year relationship slash friendship
and it was the last the last like volley over the shore if you will there was
there's nothing else left there and so I have ended a 16 year friendship a 16
year relationship I should say and today is the first day of that and so that is
just one part of this new me you know and and what's funny is that that that
relationship began ending at the same point that you know October 17th or
whatever at the same point that I had this I want to say epiphany this this
vision I don't know what you call it of trying to make the world a better place
they those two events coincided and obviously for those that you know maybe
can't pick up on context clues those two have something to do with each other the
point of depression that I hit had to do with that relationship and the fact that
I was trying so hard to find a way through to rebuild that relationship
that has a lot to do with where I'm at now so basically what I want to say here
is through this next year if you're hearing this you are going to have
trials and tribulations you are going to have heartbreak and loss you are going
it's not all going to be good what you do with it is what determines if it's
good or not in those moments you will feel lost you will feel betrayed you will
feel hurt you will feel the pain but what you do from that is what matters
what I'm doing right now recording this podcast is something that a year ago as
we moved into 2023 I never could have imagined myself doing this I never
could have imagined myself sitting here talking and hoping that somebody heard
it I could never have imagined making 30 hours of tik-tok films or movies or
videos whatever you want to call them and that's what I've done I have
literally made more content in two months than some people have made in
their entire lives and most people actually have made in their entire lives
and I'm continuing to put out videos that's what I'm going to keep doing I'm
going to stay as active on that platform as I possibly can and try to build the
community there and try to draw people here through that community that's what
my goal is and all of that came out of the end of a relationship the end of a
friendship the end of 16 years of my life with someone it all came from
really really painful negative horrible moments but now I look at it and I think
where would I be if that hadn't happened where would I be right now if that
hadn't happened I would be doing the same thing I was doing at the start of
2023 nothing really would have changed so you have to start to understand that
these things are happening I don't want to I don't want to put import like and
say it's for a reason I'm not gonna do that I'm but I'm gonna say is the way
that you respond the way that you behave after these things happen because they
are going to happen you're going to have loss you're going to have pain the way
that you respond in light of that the things that you build out of it that's
what matters that's what matters it's like imagine somebody building a house
of cards right it's beautiful when it's when it when they start to build it and
I've never I've never been able to build more than like a single story thing I
don't know how these people build these giant ones but somebody builds you know
a giant five-story house of cards and then somebody comes along and they just
destroy it all right they just put a fist through it well what that person
does next with those cards is is what determines how that story ends right it's
not the end the ending of the story is not just some jerk came and knocked my
cards over the end of the story is do you rebuild that house do you strengthen
it do you put you know some something on the on the bottom levels so that or do
you build a castle or do you just pick up the cards and play a game there's
there's so many options of what you can do when somebody destroys part of your
life there's so many things that you can do when somebody comes in and wrecks
what you thought you were building but no matter what the only thing you can't
do is leave the cards on the ground right you have to pick them up and you
have to build something else now what you do is up to you how great it becomes
is up to you but you have to build something else because you can't let
somebody knock your cards down and leave you just there looking at them you have
to pick them up you have to keep going you have to keep trying so with that
note I'm gonna leave you with something my sister for Christmas gave me a
calendar and it's funny because I haven't actually had one of these
calendars in a long long time but it's one of those calendars where you tear
off a page every day and it has a different message and she gave it to me
because of I was doing the podcast and I'm doing the tik-tok videos and she
thought that it would be a really good inspiration so I'm going to leave this
episode with the January 1st message on this calendar and I think that it's
somewhat fitting the the calendar is actually called you are a badass and the
the message is this and this goes to you if you're listening to this this message
is for you and I mean that you are loved massively ferociously
unconditionally the universe is totally freaking out about how awesome you are
it's got you wrapped in a warm gorilla hug of adoration it wants to give you
everything you desire it wants you to be happy it wants you to see what it sees
in you that's the universe talking right not just the calendar I think that's a
good thing to end on and I think that when my sister listens to this if she
listens to this she doesn't listen to every episode but if she listens to this
episode I think that that will bring a smile to her face knowing that her her
Christmas gift made it into the into the podcast quite literally so there you go
folks as as much as I've kind of shit on New Year's and the concept of it I do
hope that everybody has a very good New Year I hope that 2024 brings you
happiness and joy and prosperity and love and I hope that despite my you know
negative rantings here and there and my doom saying that any pain or any loss
that you may feel is only there to help build you up for the next phase of your
life you know we all go through pain we all go through loss but what we do with
it is what matters in the end so remember that and remember that as as
much of a negative Nancy as I can be I'm still here saying this happy New Year I
hope that it's a good one I hope that it's better and in the words of my
favorite band and one of my favorite songs of all time my favorite band is
counting crows and my one of my favorite songs of all time is a long December and
as as it says in that song it's been a long December and there's reason to
believe maybe this year will be better than the last I can't remember all the
times I've tried to tell myself to hold on to these moments as they pass happy
New Year everybody have a good one
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