1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:08,720 Hey there, folks. Welcome to episode 6 of a Pebble in a Pond podcast. This episode we're 2 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:13,200 going to be talking about something that is a little bit different than the first five 3 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:20,720 episodes and one that I've, well, I've been kind of excited about but also dreading. Dreading 4 00:00:20,720 --> 00:00:26,520 because we're talking about something that is going to be, for the most part, kind of 5 00:00:26,520 --> 00:00:34,440 a negative but I'm excited because it's something that I've been seeing kind of proliferate 6 00:00:34,440 --> 00:00:39,240 through social media in a lot of different ways and there's been a lot of really positive 7 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:43,760 things that I can see coming out of it but also, like I said, there's a lot of negative 8 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:50,560 and so I'm very interested in this topic because I think that it's something that a lot of 9 00:00:50,560 --> 00:00:57,160 people kind of just go through, especially on TikTok and Instagram and things like that 10 00:00:57,160 --> 00:01:04,120 and they don't really realize what they're seeing and it slowly but surely kind of affects 11 00:01:04,120 --> 00:01:13,520 all of us in a way that we're maybe not aware of. We're seeing these little changes in just 12 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:19,240 the smallest ways in the way that people are thinking and the way that they're and I see 13 00:01:19,240 --> 00:01:23,920 it all the time with some of the different, like I said, TikTok groups and things like 14 00:01:23,920 --> 00:01:30,920 that that I see a lot of where you see even therapists and psychiatrists that are using 15 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:38,480 the methods from this particular concept to try to empower people and I just think it's 16 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:47,200 interesting. Now keep in mind that this podcast and what I'm trying to do here is trying to 17 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:52,900 make small changes, everyday things that everyday people can do, whether it be strengthening 18 00:01:52,900 --> 00:01:58,000 your ability to be honest or make you think about things like empathy and things like 19 00:01:58,000 --> 00:02:05,160 that from our past episodes but I also am trying to move the needle on a larger scale, 20 00:02:05,160 --> 00:02:10,400 right? Like we're trying to be the pebble. We're trying to create these changes and so 21 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:15,760 I spent a lot of time looking at a lot of different methods and strategies and ways 22 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:22,900 that people can be motivated and inspired and I think that this particular subject is 23 00:02:22,900 --> 00:02:32,480 one that is truly a double-edged sword because I'm seeing it, it's pieces of it proliferate 24 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:38,600 throughout social media and people are trying to use it to inspire people and to get them 25 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:45,640 motivated and moving in a positive direction in their lives but I think that maybe they're 26 00:02:45,640 --> 00:02:54,720 not quite seeing the negative of it and they're not quite understanding exactly what it's 27 00:02:54,720 --> 00:03:01,840 doing. So today we're going to talk about what is being termed popularly as main character 28 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:08,700 syndrome but I've also heard it called on the flip side of that main character therapy 29 00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:14,640 or main character thinking and if you're not familiar with that, if you don't understand 30 00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:19,200 what that's about, please stick around because it's actually very very interesting and we're 31 00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:24,000 going to get into it. I have a little bit, well it's not a little bit, I have a very 32 00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:30,600 different take on all of this than what I've seen over a large swath of social media and 33 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:36,600 I think that it'll do us so good to have a little talk about it. So I'm going to go ahead 34 00:03:36,600 --> 00:04:05,080 and start the music and we'll get the episode going. Thanks for coming along. 35 00:04:06,600 --> 00:04:23,600 So what is main character syndrome? Well it would really depend on who you ask and that's 36 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:30,160 one of the problems with the idea is that if you talk to psychologists and therapists 37 00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:34,600 and things like that, that'll give you one definition and then if you talk to people 38 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:39,640 on TikTok who kind of popularize the term, they'll give you another definition and then 39 00:04:39,640 --> 00:04:43,220 if you just talk to like your everyday normal person, they probably have another definition 40 00:04:43,220 --> 00:04:47,560 of it. So we're going to try to get to all of them and try to understand exactly the 41 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:52,480 differences between those things. So we're going to start with the psychiatrists and 42 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:58,920 you can look at like Psychology Today and some psychiatry journals and things like that 43 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:03,660 and for the most part when they talk about main character syndrome, what they're talking 44 00:05:03,660 --> 00:05:14,280 about are people that have taken social media or other ways of expressing themselves and 45 00:05:14,280 --> 00:05:21,640 kind of created a false narrative around their lives, around themselves, around their personality 46 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:28,160 to make it appear as if they are the main character in a fictional story. Now the important 47 00:05:28,160 --> 00:05:32,640 part of this is that for the way that psychiatrists, I'm having a hard time with that word, psychiatrists 48 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:35,440 I'm having a hard time with that word today so you're going to hear me stumble on a little 49 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:42,800 bit. The way that psychiatrists are framing it is these people view themselves as the 50 00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:48,120 main character in a fictional world and that's, you know, that is definitely part of it and 51 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:55,320 that is the way that it was maybe originally defined and you can see that in some like 52 00:05:55,320 --> 00:06:00,200 Instagram and stuff like that, you'll see these people that kind of, kind of the loose 53 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:07,800 definition of it would be these influencers that literally only show the shiny happy parts 54 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:14,500 of their lives and then when you see them, you know, in person or live, they have adopted 55 00:06:14,500 --> 00:06:19,240 that personality, you know, they believe that they are the main character of this fictional 56 00:06:19,240 --> 00:06:25,200 story that they've told on social media and everything else is kind of, you know, around 57 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:32,080 them, the world literally will revolve around them and to be fair in the reality of some 58 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:37,200 of those influencers, the reality that they have, I mean that's not really far off. I 59 00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:42,960 mean you see a lot of these fashion influencers and things like that and they literally surround 60 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:49,480 themselves with people and they buy, you know, multi-billion dollar, million dollar houses, 61 00:06:49,480 --> 00:06:55,760 whatever, you know, they buy billion dollar houses, they have all this money and all this, 62 00:06:55,760 --> 00:07:02,040 all this stuff coming into them and so they can kind of afford to live in that reality 63 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:09,040 where they don't have to worry about everyday people and everyday things because they don't 64 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:15,600 have to, like they literally surround themselves, they create a reality around themselves where 65 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:21,920 none of the everyday life affects them. So to a certain degree, it's kind of hard to 66 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:26,960 blame some of those people or to say that they're wrong in their perception of reality 67 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:30,600 because they literally have built it around them. Now obviously they didn't all start 68 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:34,580 that way, not all of them, you know, many of them kind of worked their way up but once 69 00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:40,800 they got to a certain tax bracket, you know, they just, it didn't matter anymore, like 70 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:46,560 they could remove themselves from the reality that you and I have and live in an entirely 71 00:07:46,560 --> 00:07:54,240 different reality. And I'm not saying that's a good thing, I'm not saying that's okay, 72 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:58,920 but I am saying it's very understandable to a certain degree that, you know, if you literally 73 00:07:58,920 --> 00:08:04,040 build everything, if all of your friends and all of your acquaintances and all of the interactions 74 00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:08,940 you have are through the shiny pictures and you getting dressed up and you doing all these 75 00:08:08,940 --> 00:08:13,420 things and then you go out and it's all in this fantasy world, right? Like your whole 76 00:08:13,420 --> 00:08:21,240 life is a fantasy world and that becomes your reality. And so it's understandable at that 77 00:08:21,240 --> 00:08:26,440 point in time. Now do they divorce themselves from the reality of the rest of the world? 78 00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:31,320 Absolutely, absolutely. Do they understand the horrifying things that are happening in 79 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:36,280 everyday world? Do they know what it's like to be a homeless man on the street in LA? 80 00:08:36,280 --> 00:08:42,280 No, they have no idea and they never will. You know, they don't necessarily understand 81 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:49,440 the struggles of everyday people. So when you're talking about that kind of psychology 82 00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:58,420 today type, that type of definition of the syndrome, that's kind of where you're leaning 83 00:08:58,420 --> 00:09:02,840 more is, now obviously not everybody gets to that point, right? Like there are a lot 84 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:10,320 of people out there that have this kind of fake it until you make it idea in their head 85 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:15,560 and so they don't have that reality. They don't have the money that it takes to get 86 00:09:15,560 --> 00:09:21,760 to that reality. They don't live in the fantasy world. So instead they create a reality around 87 00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:29,920 them in their head where they are instead of being, you know, jet setting, high flying, 88 00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:35,460 you know, movers and shakers that spend all their times in Turks and Caicos and things 89 00:09:35,460 --> 00:09:40,680 like that. They are just people that, you know, live in downtown Detroit and then go 90 00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:46,000 outside and take pictures of themselves in bathing suits and then they go inside and 91 00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:52,400 they talk and they act like they are, you know, the next, I don't even know, I don't 92 00:09:52,400 --> 00:09:56,480 really know any, I don't know any of the popular influencers right now so I don't even know 93 00:09:56,480 --> 00:10:03,040 who I would say there but, you know, the next big one and, you know, they're not there yet 94 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:07,640 but they believe they are. And so then you start to get into these, like I said, there's 95 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:11,480 all these different versions and now these versions start to kind of interweave when 96 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:16,760 you start to get into these points where there's, you know, some crossover. And that's the reality 97 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:21,920 is that the psychology today, the psychiatry, oh geez, that's a hard word for me to say 98 00:10:21,920 --> 00:10:31,240 today, the psych, well I'm not even going to try. The therapy way of saying it is just, 99 00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:36,400 you know, it's kind of dry and there's not a lot of blood pumping through that definition 100 00:10:36,400 --> 00:10:44,200 and that way of thinking. And this way of kind of framing it around this fantasy world, 101 00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:53,280 I think that kind of divorces and takes part of it that is really bad away from it because 102 00:10:53,280 --> 00:11:00,500 if you're saying that people are building a fantasy world, I don't really see what that 103 00:11:00,500 --> 00:11:07,040 has to do with them being the main character. I don't understand that part of it. And so 104 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:12,140 now we get into the next kind of definition and that would be like the TikTok version 105 00:11:12,140 --> 00:11:17,200 of it. And that is rampant and you see it everywhere. And that's just really like the 106 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:22,400 definition of that would just be people that see themselves as the main character in their 107 00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:27,320 own life story. Now that does not sound bad, right? Like that is something that you've 108 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:33,540 heard literally dozens of influencers, dozens of content creators, dozens of people, whether 109 00:11:33,540 --> 00:11:40,560 they be therapists or psychiatrists or doctors that have said something to that effect, that 110 00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:46,440 they've used that as a selling point on their TikTok channels and things like that to try 111 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:52,200 to push this narrative that you are in control and you have the power and all these things. 112 00:11:52,200 --> 00:11:59,040 And there is inherently nothing wrong with that. But that's where you get that kind of 113 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:03,640 crossover before I get too far into that. It's where you get that crossover where the 114 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:08,240 psychology today kind of thinks of it as this fantasy world and the TikTok people are like, 115 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:13,200 you know, they're fantasy characters. Like you're creating a character in the real world, 116 00:12:13,200 --> 00:12:17,560 right? Like you're living your life in the real world, but you're creating this character. 117 00:12:17,560 --> 00:12:22,920 You're living in a way that separates you from everybody else. Now I'm going to use 118 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:27,520 a term here that is a gaming term that most people should know, but I don't know if everyone 119 00:12:27,520 --> 00:12:33,340 listened to this one. And that is PC, which most people will hear as politically correct. 120 00:12:33,340 --> 00:12:39,720 But in this case, we're going to talk about it as a player character and NPC. And an NPC 121 00:12:39,720 --> 00:12:47,400 is a non-player character. So when you're talking about the idea of main character syndrome, 122 00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:53,760 especially in this middle definition of the TikTok definition, you're talking about PCs 123 00:12:53,760 --> 00:13:02,120 and NPCs. So a PC in gaming terms is the person that is actually playing a game. So when you 124 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:06,600 get into a game, it doesn't really matter what game it is, you play as a character in 125 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:12,160 that game. So we'll just use, since it's popular right now, we'll use like Grand Theft Auto. 126 00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:15,280 So when you get into Grand Theft Auto, the character that you're actually running around 127 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:21,840 as that is the PC, the player character. Everybody else in the game, unless you're playing online, 128 00:13:21,840 --> 00:13:28,240 is an NPC. They are non-players. They're basically run by the computer. So when you start talking 129 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:35,200 about main character syndrome, a lot of people think of it in terms of a movie. You know, 130 00:13:35,200 --> 00:13:41,320 you're the main character in that movie. I think that for the purposes of this TikTok 131 00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:47,280 definition, and even some of these other versions of the understanding of what it means, that 132 00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:53,800 the gaming way of thinking about it tends to make more sense to me. You know, you, when 133 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:57,720 you're the main character in a video game, you know that all of the things, it's kind 134 00:13:57,720 --> 00:14:00,880 of like a movie. You know that all of the things are going to break your way, that you're 135 00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:04,240 going to, you know, you're going to have to go through some trials and tribulations, but 136 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:08,640 for the most part, you know, you play well and you're going to get through. And then 137 00:14:08,640 --> 00:14:14,520 everybody else is an NPC. Now we're using the example of Grand Theft Auto. I don't know 138 00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:19,160 if any of you know this or not, but if you're playing Grand Theft Auto and you're an NPC, 139 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:23,200 that's not good for you. That's really not a good thing because people just go through, 140 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:27,200 the players just go through and they basically do whatever the hell they want. I mean, you're 141 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:32,640 criminals. You go through and you do whatever you want through the, through the game and 142 00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:38,880 people walking on the street get hit by cars and you know, they don't matter. Well, the 143 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:43,280 same thing can be said for the movie version of this when, where people want to talk about 144 00:14:43,280 --> 00:14:48,600 it. It can easily be said that, you know, the background characters in movies, while 145 00:14:48,600 --> 00:14:53,880 they add, you know, a little bit of flavor to the scene, they don't really matter, right? 146 00:14:53,880 --> 00:14:58,540 Like a lot of times in a lot of movies, you don't really need the kids in the park playing 147 00:14:58,540 --> 00:15:05,360 baseball behind the main characters talking to really care about anything, right? Like 148 00:15:05,360 --> 00:15:11,480 they're literally just background stuff. The problem is, is that that's not reality, right? 149 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:16,240 Like, like we don't, those kids playing in those, in the, in the baseball field behind 150 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:21,000 the main characters, they do matter in real life. Those are, those are, those are people's 151 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:24,280 children and those people that are watching their kids play, those are, those are people 152 00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:29,160 that are going out and contributing to your community and society and things like that. 153 00:15:29,160 --> 00:15:34,280 Like all of these people matter. All of them are important. So when you start to adopt 154 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:40,840 this, this mentality of I'm the main character and you're all NPCs, I'm the PC and you're 155 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:45,120 all NPCs, I'm the main character and you're all background actors, that you can kind of 156 00:15:45,120 --> 00:15:56,960 see quickly how that can devolve into a very extremely selfish and self-absorbed way of 157 00:15:56,960 --> 00:16:03,680 thinking. So with that in mind, you know, it, we're going to, we're going to get more 158 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:08,680 into this as, as we continue. But with that in mind, you know, it's important to understand 159 00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:14,680 that, that not everything about these ideas is necessarily empowering. Like I said before, 160 00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:19,960 when you think about, well, I'm the main character in the real world, that doesn't sound that 161 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:29,400 bad. But when you start to kind of use that mentality to create self-importance at a level 162 00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:34,320 where you no longer feel the need for empathy, you no longer feel the need to care about 163 00:16:34,320 --> 00:16:39,120 these people in the background. Well, that's where things start to go really wrong. And 164 00:16:39,120 --> 00:16:45,280 unfortunately, that's the direction that a large number of people have started to head 165 00:16:45,280 --> 00:16:51,720 in, in a very drastic way. So with all of that in mind, we're going to do a quick little 166 00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:56,480 turn here and we're going to get to something that I thought was really interesting for 167 00:16:56,480 --> 00:17:01,400 this episode. For those that have listened to the other episodes, you know that I tend 168 00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:07,000 to focus on quotes and I try to, you know, brighten things up a little bit, add some 169 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:13,880 context and things like that with quotes. So a lot of times for most of these episodes, 170 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:21,360 these are quotes that I know and I've kind of held them in my head for a long time and 171 00:17:21,360 --> 00:17:24,720 they, you know, they've helped me here and there. They've guided me in some situations. 172 00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:29,760 But for this one, there's not, there wasn't anything that was springing to mind. So I 173 00:17:29,760 --> 00:17:34,000 literally just had to like look up quotes and I've just spent, I spent like three hours 174 00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:40,120 just reading different quotes and trying to find some that I thought would be helpful. 175 00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:48,120 And I didn't find many. I really didn't find many. But I thought that this one, this particular, 176 00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:51,320 it's two quotes, but I thought it was really interesting because I just, I was literally 177 00:17:51,320 --> 00:18:00,700 just Googling and these two quotes about main character thinking were literally right next 178 00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:05,460 to each other. And this should really, I think, I think it does give context. It takes two 179 00:18:05,460 --> 00:18:12,880 quotes to do it, but it does give context to how difficult this concept can be for some 180 00:18:12,880 --> 00:18:16,800 people. So the first one I'm going to read you is actually, it was actually the one on 181 00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:20,320 the bottom. So I don't think it really matters what order they were in, but it was the one 182 00:18:20,320 --> 00:18:24,600 on the bottom. But I think, I think this will hit a little bit harder if I read it first. 183 00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:28,880 And this quote is, I don't know these people. It's not, these aren't famous, like crazy 184 00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:35,440 famous people like that have been in the past. This is by a lady named Carrie Anne DiRizio 185 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:42,400 from brooding YA hero becoming a main character almost as awesome as me. And her quote goes 186 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:47,800 like this, you're always a main character. Remember, ignore anyone and any story that 187 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:53,920 doesn't make you feel like one. Well, honestly, that's, that is, that's a, that's a not a 188 00:18:53,920 --> 00:18:57,880 bad way of thinking to a certain degree, right? Like if you're the main character and you 189 00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:05,200 feel powerful and you feel, you know, awesome, then you feel more drive to get up and get 190 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,960 moving. I mean, hell, the cameras are on you, right? Like you don't want to just lay there 191 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:11,720 in bed. You got to be the main character. You got to get up and get moving, make making 192 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:16,400 shit happen. That's what you got to do. But what's interesting is that the next quote, 193 00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:23,000 which was literally right next to it is by a lady named Holly born from, I assume the 194 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:29,160 book, the yearbook, I've never read it, but her quote is so many people behave like they 195 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:34,120 think a cinema orchestra is following, following them around to give them backing music, that 196 00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:38,520 they're the superstar of the universe. And the people who believe this way, they're the 197 00:19:38,520 --> 00:19:43,080 people who tend to hurt others the most. They think they're the hero of their own story, 198 00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:50,360 but actually in the pursuit of being so important, they're often the villain of everyone else's. 199 00:19:50,360 --> 00:19:57,320 That's the exact opposite of what the first quote said. And I'm not going to lie, I tend 200 00:19:57,320 --> 00:20:02,480 to agree with the second one a little bit more. Now, when we get to the end of this 201 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:09,800 episode, I'm going to really try to express what I see as good in this. I'm not going 202 00:20:09,800 --> 00:20:16,680 to leave this with like a negative connotation for this concept. I believe that there is 203 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:22,400 good that can come out of this way of thinking. I really do. But until we get to that point, 204 00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:26,680 I am going to talk about these negatives because I think that it's important to understand 205 00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:30,760 exactly what you're talking about when you talk about this way of thinking and you talk 206 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:38,160 about this syndrome as they call it. So as you think about this, I want you to, it doesn't 207 00:20:38,160 --> 00:20:43,360 really matter what story you think of, but I'm a really, I mean anybody that knows me 208 00:20:43,360 --> 00:20:48,400 knows this. I am one of the biggest Star Wars fans on the face of the planet. And I'm not 209 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:52,360 like a toxic Star Wars fan that like only likes certain things. If it says Star Wars 210 00:20:52,360 --> 00:20:56,920 on it or it even hints that there's Star Wars in it, I watch it and I love it. It doesn't 211 00:20:56,920 --> 00:21:01,480 matter. I'm very open-minded. And part of that comes from, and this is a little bit 212 00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:07,560 of a sidetrack, but I feel like it's important for context. I spent, you know, I grew up 213 00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:16,560 with the original trilogy and then I spent two decades with nothing. And so for me, all 214 00:21:16,560 --> 00:21:21,920 of these haters online and things like that, that want to bash new Star Wars or whatever, 215 00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:25,280 or they don't like this, they don't like that, they don't like, you know, they're racists 216 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:31,940 or whatever. Like I'm sorry, you shut up. Like just shut up. Like there's just no reason 217 00:21:31,940 --> 00:21:38,040 for that. It's Star Wars. You lived 20 years without Star Wars. We know what that world 218 00:21:38,040 --> 00:21:42,000 looks like. So I don't want to live in that world. I want to live where there's always 219 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:48,000 Star Wars, always, where I can, I can just, I can bathe myself in the universe of Star 220 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:51,640 Wars every day if I want to. So anyway, that's where my appreciation comes from. And I wanted 221 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:55,760 to make that clear. So if you're somebody that hates like this or that or about Star 222 00:21:55,760 --> 00:22:00,480 Wars, or you're going to complain or bitch online about this, well, you know, just remember 223 00:22:00,480 --> 00:22:04,840 who you're talking to. So anyway, I want you to think about, let's, let's say Star Wars 224 00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:12,160 for now, because I love it. For most people that watch, let's say the original trilogy, 225 00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:16,480 so that it can connect with everyone. Most people that watch Star Wars will, will say, 226 00:22:16,480 --> 00:22:21,520 okay, well the main character in Star Wars is Luke Skywalker. And I don't think that 227 00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:27,600 many people would argue with that. But because you're talking about a, a squad of a team 228 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:31,660 of people, so there's some people out there that could tell you that Han Solo is the main 229 00:22:31,660 --> 00:22:35,880 character. And some people would tell you that Princess Leia is the main character. 230 00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:40,720 And there are a lot of people out there that would argue that R2-D2 and C-3PO are the main 231 00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:45,760 characters because they are the through line that goes through all of the movies. And I 232 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:49,320 think that there's an argument to be made for each one of those. And you could go through 233 00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:54,200 and you can make an argument for any of the characters. You say, well, you know, if you 234 00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:58,360 think about it, Obi-Wan Kenobi is the main character, or Darth Vader is the main character, 235 00:22:58,360 --> 00:23:02,480 or you know, you can make an argument for, for any of those guys. But this is where we 236 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:07,640 talk about how important perspective is in all of this. For the purpose of what, what 237 00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:12,040 I'm going to express here, we're going to talk about a character that maybe not everybody 238 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:18,400 knows. Maybe very few of you know. But in Empire Strikes Back, there's a scene where 239 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:29,220 a character, a officer in the, in the Empire goes to apologize to Darth Vader for losing 240 00:23:29,220 --> 00:23:37,320 the Millennium Falcon. And Vader kills him. And as he walks away, he says, apology accepted, 241 00:23:37,320 --> 00:23:42,080 Captain Nita. And that's the only thing that you know about him is that this guy just went 242 00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:47,640 over and he apologized to Vader and Vader choked him out and now he's dead. And you 243 00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:54,160 know, his name is Captain Nita. So, uh, when you think about that and you're like, well, 244 00:23:54,160 --> 00:23:57,920 Captain Nita is certainly not the main character. Right? Like, I mean, he was literally just 245 00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:03,880 in that one scene for the moment. He has another scene, but nothing important. Now that's where 246 00:24:03,880 --> 00:24:11,520 perspective matters because try to imagine the fact that Captain Nita, if he was a real 247 00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:16,860 person, as far as he's concerned, he's the main character. I mean, yeah, there's Darth 248 00:24:16,860 --> 00:24:21,040 Vader is super powerful and there's these rebels out there doing all this stuff, but 249 00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:29,580 this is a guy who had risen through the ranks of the Imperial war machine and had, had gone 250 00:24:29,580 --> 00:24:34,160 through and lived a life and, you know, had done all these things and advanced and, you 251 00:24:34,160 --> 00:24:38,920 know, maybe was in love with somebody and had, you know, if you go, there's actually 252 00:24:38,920 --> 00:24:44,080 a website called wookiepedia where you can go and they have backstories that have been 253 00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:50,680 written for a lot of these characters. And, and, and Captain Nita has a rich, like probably 254 00:24:50,680 --> 00:24:55,600 12 paragraph backstory that goes with him. Obviously I'm not going to read it here because 255 00:24:55,600 --> 00:25:03,680 why, but the point is, is that in, in Captain Nita's mind, right up until the point where 256 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:09,240 Darth Vader choked him out, he thought he was pretty important. He thought he was the 257 00:25:09,240 --> 00:25:14,540 main character of his story and he wasn't wrong. He wasn't wrong. He was the main character 258 00:25:14,540 --> 00:25:22,040 of his story and then his story ended possibly to another main character. But the point of 259 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:28,600 that is that each of us, each of us have an argument that could be made that we are the 260 00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:34,040 main character in our own story, right? Like, and that's the, that's the crux of the, the 261 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:40,840 kind of therapy, the online therapy, motivation way of thinking about it is, you know, that's 262 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:45,680 how you make that. That's how you help people understand their importance is by telling 263 00:25:45,680 --> 00:25:52,400 them that they're the main character. But the reality is, is that not all of us are 264 00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:57,320 main characters and not all of us should necessarily think that way. I'm not saying that you have 265 00:25:57,320 --> 00:26:02,840 to be down on yourself and think that you're a bit part in life, but it's important to 266 00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:08,400 understand that, you know, there are, there are many, many, many people in this world 267 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:15,440 that are going to go through their entire life and like Captain Nita, they'll have these 268 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:20,980 little moments and they might get some screen time, but they're, for the most part, they're 269 00:26:20,980 --> 00:26:26,920 just going to kind of live and die and, and that's all they are ever going to do. And 270 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:31,080 there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing that's inherently bad about that. And there 271 00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:37,600 are many people that yearn for that kind of simplicity in their life. For me, that's not 272 00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:43,600 something I want to do. And once again, that's not me, you know, downplaying that or, you 273 00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:47,520 know, saying that that's bad or that there's anything wrong with that. That's just not 274 00:26:47,520 --> 00:26:53,720 the lot that I, I believe I would like. I don't want to be Captain Nita. I would much 275 00:26:53,720 --> 00:27:00,840 rather if, if nothing else be Han Solo, but you know, I want to be Luke Skywalker. And, 276 00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:07,560 and as a side note, before I move on, Captain Nita, his first name was Lorth, in case you 277 00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:14,600 were wondering, and he served in the Coruscant military and actually was in the part of the 278 00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:19,040 Coruscant home defense, defense fleet. These are all things that you didn't know, probably 279 00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:25,160 didn't need to know, but I was running short on quotes, so I figured I'd do research on 280 00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:29,720 Captain Nita since that's what I was talking about. The whole point of this, the whole 281 00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:34,640 point of what I just went through with the Star Wars thing is, is that, you know, from 282 00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:40,000 each of our perspective, each of us can be the main character of our own story. And there 283 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:45,920 is nothing wrong inherently with, with teaching that idea or people expressing that idea. 284 00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:49,720 The problem then comes in, and this is where we're going to get a little negative with 285 00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:57,640 it, is that a lot of times when you consider yourself to be the main character of a story, 286 00:27:57,640 --> 00:28:03,600 you do start that ability to kind of distance yourself from those background characters, 287 00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:09,240 from those NPCs, becomes a little bit easier. You start to feel like you're the one that 288 00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:14,540 matters. And unfortunately, if you are going through your life feeling like you're the 289 00:28:14,540 --> 00:28:21,880 only one that matters, then you are a selfish prick. And I'm saying that with as much love 290 00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:27,800 in my heart as I possibly can. I have spent, since I started this podcast and I've started 291 00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:34,760 doing the TikTok channel as well, I've spent literally hours every day, whether it be actually 292 00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:39,680 doing actual research for the podcast or just making videos for TikTok. I've spent hours 293 00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:47,640 of my life every day researching and watching, and I've found myself in some very interesting 294 00:28:47,640 --> 00:28:55,120 corners of the TikTok world. And a lot of the stuff that I've found, a lot of the creators 295 00:28:55,120 --> 00:29:00,860 that I've liked and the things that I've interacted with have been other people trying to push 296 00:29:00,860 --> 00:29:10,920 ideas of positivity and love and self-reliance and things like that. And I can tell you almost 297 00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:17,040 without fail that, now there's a few therapists and things like that that focus on more like 298 00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:21,760 relationship advice. And these ones aren't, they're not as, I don't want to use the word 299 00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:27,040 guilty, but yeah, they're not as guilty at this. But there are a lot of really, really 300 00:29:27,040 --> 00:29:34,880 popular, almost I would say famous creators that have kind of pushed this narrative of 301 00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:40,760 self-importance to a degree that it could be a detriment. And that's not to say that 302 00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:47,000 there's anything wrong with feeling self-important, with being confident, with being, you know, 303 00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:52,160 understanding what you can bring to the world and how important you are. Hell, I'm selling 304 00:29:52,160 --> 00:29:55,920 that as much as I can, not because I'm trying to sell anything, but because I genuinely 305 00:29:55,920 --> 00:30:00,760 believe that. I have to believe that. The frickin' name of the podcast is a pebble 306 00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:05,600 in a pond. The name of the TikTok channel is a pebble in a pond. If I didn't believe 307 00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:12,040 in the individual power of one small pebble or person, I wouldn't be doing this. Like, 308 00:30:12,040 --> 00:30:17,120 that's the whole point, is that each of us is exceedingly powerful and can create change 309 00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:22,760 in a drastic way. But what's important to remember in that sentiment is that that change 310 00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:28,760 can be both positive and negative. You have to make that choice and you have to react 311 00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:35,640 accordingly. That's, that's your responsibility. Each of us as individuals, every day we make 312 00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:40,760 hundreds of choices. You know, do we, do we tie our shoes? Do we brush our teeth? Do we, 313 00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:44,400 and of course for most people these are, you know, no-brainers. Of course you do those 314 00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:48,240 things, but there are people out there that make those choices, right? You don't have 315 00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:52,720 to do those things. You could get up and go to work and not brush your teeth. See how 316 00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:56,960 that goes for you. See what happens. It's disgusting, but see how, see how it works 317 00:30:56,960 --> 00:31:01,640 out for you. I mean, that's the whole point is like, these are, these are choices that 318 00:31:01,640 --> 00:31:05,840 you make and a lot of them seem like, you know, well, of course you're going to make 319 00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:10,120 that choice. What other choice do you have? But, but you still have that choice. Like, 320 00:31:10,120 --> 00:31:14,720 you certainly could decide to not, you know, put on clean clothes. You could wear the clothes 321 00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:19,480 from yesterday. You could, you could, these are all choices. Now you default to the ones 322 00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:24,280 that are societally acceptable because you don't want to deal with the negative ramifications. 323 00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:28,040 But there are a lot of choices that you make where you don't think like that. You don't 324 00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:33,200 necessarily think about the negative ramifications. Sometimes it's as simple as making a left 325 00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:37,240 instead of a right and something happens. Wouldn't have happened if you wouldn't have 326 00:31:37,240 --> 00:31:42,680 turned left and that can be good or bad. So it's, it's one of those things where sometimes 327 00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:49,640 you just don't know, but you're making these decisions. And when you're making these decisions 328 00:31:49,640 --> 00:31:54,840 with this point of view of I am the main character and I'm super important to everything and 329 00:31:54,840 --> 00:32:02,080 everyone around me, um, that can, that colors the decisions you make, right? Like if you're 330 00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:07,120 the main character, what would the main character do? It's important to keep that in mind. It's 331 00:32:07,120 --> 00:32:12,520 important to understand that there's nothing wrong with being, with having the mentality 332 00:32:12,520 --> 00:32:19,560 of empowerment. There's nothing wrong with, with wanting to feel confident and, and express 333 00:32:19,560 --> 00:32:25,960 yourself and make choices that are positive, that, that you know, you know, you can encourage 334 00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:31,160 or inspire or, or make a positive change in the people around you. Those are the choices 335 00:32:31,160 --> 00:32:35,340 and those are the decisions that I'm trying to push. And I'm trying to make sure that 336 00:32:35,340 --> 00:32:40,320 people understand because a lot of people in this world have forgotten that. But there's 337 00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:46,200 also, you know, the ability when you start getting into this main character stuff where 338 00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:53,280 you start to feel so important and you start to feel so, uh, self-righteous that you tend 339 00:32:53,280 --> 00:33:00,400 to look past other people because you're the main character, right? Like you're it, the 340 00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:07,040 story is about you. And so sometimes people will take that and they'll, they'll take the 341 00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:11,880 reinforcement from these people on social media. They'll take the reinforcement from 342 00:33:11,880 --> 00:33:16,420 people in the world out there that they're so super important and they're so special 343 00:33:16,420 --> 00:33:22,960 and they're so this and they're so that, that they, they really buy it. They really believe 344 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:31,240 it and they start to say, well, I'm more special than you. I'm, I'm more important than you. 345 00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:37,400 The story is more about me than it is about you. And listen, uh, you know, I'm going to 346 00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:43,200 be really honest. There have been times in my life as somebody who kind of has kind of 347 00:33:43,200 --> 00:33:48,800 walked the line on this way of thinking a lot, there's been times in my life, even recently 348 00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:53,560 where I've felt that kind of feeling where I felt, you know, I'm, I am important. I am, 349 00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:59,280 I am extremely important. I may be more important than that person. Now, obviously that's a, 350 00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:04,960 that's a, it's a quick impulse for me. I don't, I don't tend to hold onto that thought, but 351 00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:10,160 I can't say it hasn't crossed my mind. It certainly has. And, and you know, I'll be 352 00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:16,820 honest again, one of the reasons I feel that, you know, that kind of inclination at times 353 00:34:16,820 --> 00:34:22,840 is because I spend a lot of time actively searching and actively looking for ways that 354 00:34:22,840 --> 00:34:27,880 I can be positive for people. And then I see somebody that's just selfish or being negative 355 00:34:27,880 --> 00:34:32,240 or whatever it may be. And I think, you know, I am more important than that person. And 356 00:34:32,240 --> 00:34:39,460 once again, this is not me condoning that way of thinking, but I believe that there 357 00:34:39,460 --> 00:34:43,640 is some justification for that way of thinking. And I think that that's important. Remember 358 00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:52,680 that if you are somebody that's out in this world, full of tragedy and sorrow and darkness, 359 00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:58,600 and you're trying to bring light, you're trying to bring love, you're trying to bring a positive 360 00:34:58,600 --> 00:35:05,560 energy into the world. I, I don't, it sounds so bad to say it this way, but I really do 361 00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:13,600 believe that what you are doing and, and your existence is important, maybe even more important 362 00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:18,520 than people that are not doing those things that are doing the antithesis of those things 363 00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:24,280 that are bringing bad energy and they're trying to hurt people. And they're, I do believe 364 00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:28,720 you're more important. Now you may not have the same impact. You may not ever have the 365 00:35:28,720 --> 00:35:37,200 same impact because we all know that tragedy and pain and, uh, torment are things that 366 00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:45,880 people suffer through for much longer periods of time than they do, uh, happiness. So, you 367 00:35:45,880 --> 00:35:51,740 know, you, you may not, you may not have the same impact, the same long lasting impact 368 00:35:51,740 --> 00:35:59,720 as somebody who's being negative, but you will certainly be able to change lives in 369 00:35:59,720 --> 00:36:05,840 a much more profound way. So just, just remember that, that, that there is a lot that goes 370 00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:13,960 with this main character kind of thinking that maybe, maybe it is bad. Maybe it is really 371 00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:18,340 bad because there's so many people that are so selfish and there's so many people that 372 00:36:18,340 --> 00:36:23,560 once they get this into their head, that they're the most important thing that they just stop 373 00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:30,560 thinking about other people. But there are those of us that, that kind of can tread on 374 00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:34,840 that line and say, you know what, if the cameras are on and they're rolling and there's people 375 00:36:34,840 --> 00:36:38,160 watching, I want to make sure that I'm giving them a show and I want to make sure that I'm 376 00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:42,560 inspiring and I want to make sure that I'm showing, I'm giving, you know, what if there's 377 00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:46,200 kids in the audience that are watching this show? Think about it like the Truman show. 378 00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:49,440 I don't know how many of you have seen that movie, but that movie, you know, it came out 379 00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:54,160 at a time before a lot of social media and things like that. It was actually very, it's 380 00:36:54,160 --> 00:37:01,320 very, very good movie and, uh, haunting, uh, in its accuracy and it's in some ways, but 381 00:37:01,320 --> 00:37:08,880 you know, if you, if you live your life in a way where people are watching it and you're 382 00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:14,520 thinking about yourself as a main character in the story, then live your life in that 383 00:37:14,520 --> 00:37:19,760 way. Be an inspiration. Imagine there's kids in the crowd watching you, you know, like 384 00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:25,240 if you're going to take that kind of, that, that line of thought to, uh, embolden yourself 385 00:37:25,240 --> 00:37:31,440 and to encourage yourself to, you know, more action and more, more positivity than really 386 00:37:31,440 --> 00:37:37,200 do it. Like really push it because nobody wants to watch like, you know, obviously there's 387 00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:40,120 movies like the Joker and stuff like that where people want to watch the villain, but 388 00:37:40,120 --> 00:37:43,800 for the most part, people want to see uplifting stories and they want to see happy stories. 389 00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:48,240 So if you're going to adopt this way of thinking that you're the main character, adopt it in 390 00:37:48,240 --> 00:37:51,840 a positive way and say, you know what, I'm going to be the main character, but I'm going 391 00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:58,400 to take this love and take this, this light that I have, and I'm going to spread it. I'm 392 00:37:58,400 --> 00:38:03,120 going to spread it through the world and I'm going to make a difference that way. Now, 393 00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:07,480 when I, when I posted every, uh, if you follow the Tik Tok, then you'll know that every week 394 00:38:07,480 --> 00:38:15,360 I post a coming soon, basically episode, uh, or, or video about this episode. Uh, when 395 00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:20,320 I posted that somebody actually said one of the comments on that video was, was kind of 396 00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:23,600 interesting or actually now that I'm thinking about it, it wasn't, it wasn't that video. 397 00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:27,960 It was the video after that. I got them confused. Anyway, uh, I did a video about being a hero 398 00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:34,720 or a villain. And one of the, uh, comments on that was that this person thought that 399 00:38:34,720 --> 00:38:40,560 they were a villain because they were protecting the people, uh, that mattered the most to 400 00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:44,520 them, the people that they loved the most in this world. They said I would burn the 401 00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:50,280 world down for them. And they, they considered that to be kind of a villainous way of thinking 402 00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:56,560 and I get it. I understand that, you know, you, you have this kind of self-important, 403 00:38:56,560 --> 00:39:03,800 uh, belief that your family and the people that you love, uh, are, are all the matters. 404 00:39:03,800 --> 00:39:08,440 And I, I responded and I said, I don't think that that's necessarily being a villain because 405 00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:13,480 I don't, I think that each of us that, that kind of could kind of understand that, you 406 00:39:13,480 --> 00:39:19,880 know, your, your family members, your kids, your husband or wife, your, your mother, your 407 00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:25,880 father, your brothers and sisters, whatever it may be, whoever you hold closest to you, 408 00:39:25,880 --> 00:39:33,640 most of us, most of us would fight and die for them. I know that I would. And, uh, the 409 00:39:33,640 --> 00:39:38,720 idea of somebody hurting them or, you know, something bad happened to them is just so 410 00:39:38,720 --> 00:39:44,480 painful and so, you know, it's just so hard to deal with that you would do anything to 411 00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:48,480 protect them. And there's nothing wrong with that. There's nothing wrong with that. That 412 00:39:48,480 --> 00:39:53,760 doesn't make you a villain. Um, no, this person said they would burn the world down further. 413 00:39:53,760 --> 00:39:57,160 So that, you know, when you start to get to that point where you're talking about, you 414 00:39:57,160 --> 00:40:01,880 know, hurting innocent people, uh, that's a little bit different. But I think that the, 415 00:40:01,880 --> 00:40:07,360 the, the main, the main sentiment there is I will protect the people that I love with 416 00:40:07,360 --> 00:40:12,440 everything in me, even if other people get hurt in the process. And that's easy to see 417 00:40:12,440 --> 00:40:18,240 why somebody would think that their main character arc would be that of a villain. But, um, the 418 00:40:18,240 --> 00:40:24,880 reality is, is that all I'm saying is if you're going to be the main character and you're 419 00:40:24,880 --> 00:40:33,880 going to try to use that mentality, hold the people closest to you tightly, love them, 420 00:40:33,880 --> 00:40:37,320 make sure that they understand how important they are to you and that you would die. You 421 00:40:37,320 --> 00:40:43,000 would fight and kill and die for them. There's nothing wrong with that. The next course of 422 00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:50,000 action though is to expand that circle. Don't just make it the people that are the closest 423 00:40:50,000 --> 00:40:54,960 to you, make it the people, you know, wondering out. If you're, if your son has a girlfriend 424 00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:58,960 or your daughter has a boyfriend, include them. If you're, you know, there's somebody 425 00:40:58,960 --> 00:41:04,040 that you meet every day when you go to get coffee, wherever you get coffee at, and it's 426 00:41:04,040 --> 00:41:08,240 the same lady behind the register and you know her because you've seen her for four 427 00:41:08,240 --> 00:41:12,760 years because you go there and get coffee every day and include her fight and die and 428 00:41:12,760 --> 00:41:18,400 kill for her to love her, love these people that you come in contact with, that you know 429 00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:23,760 they're good and you know the quality that they bring to your life increases everything 430 00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:30,720 about you. Like there's no reason that you have to only protect and love and fight for 431 00:41:30,720 --> 00:41:36,680 the people that are absolutely closest to you. And that's, that's kind of my, my way 432 00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:42,760 of moving forward with this mentality, this kind of main character mentality is if I'm 433 00:41:42,760 --> 00:41:48,240 the main character of my story or you're the main character of yours, let's try to make 434 00:41:48,240 --> 00:41:54,480 it as good as it can be. Let's not be selfish about it. Let's make sure that if the cameras 435 00:41:54,480 --> 00:42:01,120 are rolling and people are watching that they're moved by the decisions that we make, that 436 00:42:01,120 --> 00:42:07,760 they're moved by the lives that we've touched, that they, that they walk out of that movie, 437 00:42:07,760 --> 00:42:16,760 our movie, wanting to make a difference. I, I think that there is a lot that can be said 438 00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:25,960 for this way of thinking that is a positive and good way of motivating and creating a 439 00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:34,600 real good change. I think that sick people or people that are maybe not, I don't even 440 00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:41,040 know what the word would be, people that are not able to distance themselves from their 441 00:42:41,040 --> 00:42:47,680 pain, you know, they're hurt people, they take it and they use it as a shield. They 442 00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:52,080 use, they hide behind the concepts and they say, well, I'm the main character, so I'm 443 00:42:52,080 --> 00:42:56,680 super important. And they don't ever do any of the work. They don't ever do any introspection. 444 00:42:56,680 --> 00:43:04,120 They don't ever bother to change or get better. And so they are a stagnant hurtful person 445 00:43:04,120 --> 00:43:09,600 who believes that they're so important that nobody else matters. And that's where this 446 00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:14,760 is really negative. And that's where this is bad is that a lot of times, and you see 447 00:43:14,760 --> 00:43:19,560 it a lot more commonly than we should, any of us should be comfortable with. A lot of 448 00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:29,080 times people take these concepts of self-empowerment and self-promotion and they taint them and 449 00:43:29,080 --> 00:43:37,920 make them negatives. They make it so that, you know, people, they push people away or 450 00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:44,040 they hurt people in their quest to be the best version of themselves, not understanding 451 00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:48,200 that they're not doing any of the work to do the best version of themselves. They all 452 00:43:48,200 --> 00:43:52,880 want to be Carrie from Sex and the City. And I don't know how many people really watched 453 00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:59,600 that show. I wasn't a big fan of it, but I do know this. Carrie isn't the best character 454 00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:05,680 in Sex and the City. She's really kind of shitty. And there's a lot of people out there 455 00:44:05,680 --> 00:44:10,800 that watched that show and said they wanted to be her. Well, that's really, it's like, 456 00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:15,080 I'll give you an example of what I'm talking about here using another HBO show, amazingly 457 00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:22,400 enough. A lot of people that know me or have known me have, and this includes myself after 458 00:44:22,400 --> 00:44:29,840 binge watching it during the pandemic actually, a lot of people that see Curb Your Enthusiasm 459 00:44:29,840 --> 00:44:34,400 are like, man, you're a lot like Larry David. And I really can't deny that in a lot of ways 460 00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:40,360 because I really am a lot like Larry David in a lot of ways, but I'm not. I'm not Larry 461 00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:47,320 David. So it, you know, he's kind of a jerk. So I don't necessarily want that to be the 462 00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:53,680 thing that people compare me to. So I don't think that people should be looking at some 463 00:44:53,680 --> 00:45:00,680 of these vapid, empty, you know, curmudgeonly characters and being like, oh yeah, I'm going 464 00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:06,440 to be that main character. You have the opportunity. You can make yourself into whatever character 465 00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:12,120 you want to be. And you don't have to be a farm boy and outer space. You don't have to 466 00:45:12,120 --> 00:45:17,480 be the old guy that, you know, yells at people for getting their coffee wrong. And you don't 467 00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:26,800 have to be an empty, you know, self-absorbed socialite. You can be a good person and still 468 00:45:26,800 --> 00:45:33,360 be the main character. You can be somebody that moves the needle in a positive and good 469 00:45:33,360 --> 00:45:40,280 way and helps people and has always has a hand to reach out to, you know, lift people 470 00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:45,040 up and make this world a better place and still be the main character. As a matter of 471 00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:50,160 fact, you'll be the best main character. You'll be the character that inspires people. And 472 00:45:50,160 --> 00:45:55,200 I think that that is, you know, at the end of the day, that's all you can ask from a 473 00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:56,200 main character. 474 00:45:56,200 --> 00:46:04,520 Now, we're going to start to wrap this up soon. But I did want to talk about, I guess, 475 00:46:04,520 --> 00:46:10,080 kind of my experience or my understanding. When I first heard about the main character 476 00:46:10,080 --> 00:46:19,000 syndrome and main character thinking and things like that, I had a knee-jerk reaction when 477 00:46:19,000 --> 00:46:23,800 I heard the concept and when I first heard about it. And I just thought I would share 478 00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:28,920 it really fast before we wrapped up. Because for me, when it was first explained to me 479 00:46:28,920 --> 00:46:35,520 that you have, you know, this idea of being a main character, the only thing that came 480 00:46:35,520 --> 00:46:40,400 to my mind and maybe, I mean, I'm sure if you're listening to this, you'll understand. 481 00:46:40,400 --> 00:46:45,000 But there are people that are still younger that might not. The first thing I thought 482 00:46:45,000 --> 00:46:53,360 of was Ferris Bueller. And I know that that movie had a profound effect on me when I was 483 00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:59,440 younger. But, you know, some people liked it, some people didn't. I don't know too 484 00:46:59,440 --> 00:47:11,780 many people that didn't. But for me, Ferris Bueller became like the exact, my understanding 485 00:47:11,780 --> 00:47:15,400 of what it meant to be a main character. So much so. And this was before this concept 486 00:47:15,400 --> 00:47:18,600 ever came around, before anybody on social media talked about it, because there was no 487 00:47:18,600 --> 00:47:25,080 social media. But Ferris Bueller was somebody that, or that movie was so powerful for me 488 00:47:25,080 --> 00:47:35,160 when I was a kid that I literally, from the day after I saw it pretty much, I would imagine 489 00:47:35,160 --> 00:47:40,560 that I was being, like there were cameras, that I was being watched, like there were 490 00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:46,960 cameras around. And I remember being in like mall stores and things like that with my mom. 491 00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:52,600 She would say something and I would turn and like look over my shoulder and say something 492 00:47:52,600 --> 00:47:57,280 to the camera, like Ferris Bueller would, right? The way that he kind of broke the fourth 493 00:47:57,280 --> 00:48:02,000 wall in the movie. And there were just so many times that I remember when I was a kid 494 00:48:02,000 --> 00:48:08,840 that I would do that, that I, when I first heard about this, that's what I thought of. 495 00:48:08,840 --> 00:48:13,480 And so I didn't have any sort of negative connotations at all. I just thought, oh, people 496 00:48:13,480 --> 00:48:25,400 are being like Ferris Bueller, which is never a bad thing. And I, I immediately felt a kinship 497 00:48:25,400 --> 00:48:33,040 with it because like I said, for years after I saw that movie, I behaved in a way that 498 00:48:33,040 --> 00:48:36,400 I thought there were cameras on me at all times. I really thought that I was going to 499 00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:41,740 be, I was going to grow up to be like Ferris Bueller. I would, you know, people had told 500 00:48:41,740 --> 00:48:46,920 me how charismatic I was and how, you know, this and that. And so I just, I always thought 501 00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:51,600 that I would be Ferris Bueller. Now I ended up being more of a mix between Ferris Bueller 502 00:48:51,600 --> 00:48:57,520 and Cameron, but I really thought that I was going to be Ferris Bueller when I grew up. 503 00:48:57,520 --> 00:49:04,800 But because of that, because that was my initial thought when I heard this, I thought, well, 504 00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:09,040 you know, like I said, that can't be bad. And then obviously I went and I started to 505 00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:15,400 research it for the podcast and, you know, look into it more. And I was, you know, digging 506 00:49:15,400 --> 00:49:20,320 into it and trying to understand the real bad, negative stuff. Because, you know, as 507 00:49:20,320 --> 00:49:26,520 I had, as I immediately started to look at it, I was just flooded with all the negative 508 00:49:26,520 --> 00:49:30,880 connotations that came with it, because that's the more popular way of thinking of it is 509 00:49:30,880 --> 00:49:37,120 just as a negative thing. And it is, it is. But I just kept going back to that Ferris 510 00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:44,320 Bueller thing. And that's when I kind of realized that like, as bad as it can be to be kind 511 00:49:44,320 --> 00:49:50,760 of caught up in your own world of your own making a fantasy world, if you will, of your 512 00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:58,880 own making at where you're the main character and you're the most important thing. And, 513 00:49:58,880 --> 00:50:07,440 you know, you're, you're the driving force behind so much. You could always do it like 514 00:50:07,440 --> 00:50:15,000 Ferris Bueller. You don't have to be selfish. I mean, when I mentioned this to my son, he 515 00:50:15,000 --> 00:50:18,960 actually said, well, Ferris Bueller is a really bad example because Ferris Bueller is really 516 00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:24,280 selfish because he makes Cameron do all those things. He's not the good guy. To which, of 517 00:50:24,280 --> 00:50:30,320 course, I said, are you insane? Because he's the reason why Cameron is, you know, moves 518 00:50:30,320 --> 00:50:34,480 forward and has like a whole character arc is because he's, you know, he's been this 519 00:50:34,480 --> 00:50:38,920 like positive influence on him. And he's like, well, but Cameron was perfectly happy just 520 00:50:38,920 --> 00:50:45,000 being a hypochondriac and, you know, so on and so forth. So he has this argument that, 521 00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:50,640 you know, and I guess this is a popular thing on the internet that Cameron is actually the 522 00:50:50,640 --> 00:50:54,280 main character of Ferris Bueller's Day Off because he's the one that has like the biggest 523 00:50:54,280 --> 00:51:00,600 change if you're doing like, you know, from a writing standpoint. And my son is a writer. 524 00:51:00,600 --> 00:51:05,600 So I kind of understand where he's coming from. But I mean, anybody that's seen the 525 00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:10,320 movie knows that Ferris Bueller is the main character. I'm just going to lay the law down 526 00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:17,460 right now. And he's a good guy. I don't care what you say. He's a good guy. But there was 527 00:51:17,460 --> 00:51:21,120 a whole conversation about how he manipulates him and how he manipulates Cameron and stuff 528 00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:26,480 like this. And, and I get it. Like there is a, there is a small argument to be said that 529 00:51:26,480 --> 00:51:31,640 he was, you know, a little bit of a, a little bit of a not necessarily always good guy. 530 00:51:31,640 --> 00:51:40,360 He used, he used deceptive means to reach his end. But in the end, everybody turned 531 00:51:40,360 --> 00:51:48,080 out better for it. Spoilers. But anyway, I, that's what I think of when I think of main 532 00:51:48,080 --> 00:51:52,560 character syndrome. That's the positive way that I think of it is if you're going to be, 533 00:51:52,560 --> 00:51:55,480 if you're going to have this, if you're going to, if you're going to need to do this to 534 00:51:55,480 --> 00:52:00,720 try to make yourself feel better or to try to motivate yourself or to try to, you know, 535 00:52:00,720 --> 00:52:04,860 get through life, try to think of yourself as Ferris Bueller. I don't think you can really 536 00:52:04,860 --> 00:52:10,640 go wrong at that point in time. You know, if you can go out and you can bring that kind 537 00:52:10,640 --> 00:52:18,800 of happiness and love and light into the world by being the main character, then by all means, 538 00:52:18,800 --> 00:52:25,600 main character the hell out of it. But unfortunately, and I really don't want to leave on a negative 539 00:52:25,600 --> 00:52:34,080 note, so we're going to add a little bit extra on here, but unfortunately the concept, the 540 00:52:34,080 --> 00:52:42,680 term main character syndrome and the overwhelming majority of people that experience these ways 541 00:52:42,680 --> 00:52:51,960 of thinking, they're not positive and they are making it so that people are losing empathy, 542 00:52:51,960 --> 00:52:56,860 they're losing connection to their, their community and the people and family and friends 543 00:52:56,860 --> 00:53:03,120 around them. It makes it so that they really do believe that they are super important in 544 00:53:03,120 --> 00:53:12,560 a world where everyone is important. And it just is turning people very, very selfish. 545 00:53:12,560 --> 00:53:20,680 And it's being proliferated in a lot of social media by people that have signed off on it, 546 00:53:20,680 --> 00:53:24,920 that have titles and have gone to school and things like that. And obviously those people 547 00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:32,280 do not mean for these negative things to happen. Obviously they don't. They're just trying, 548 00:53:32,280 --> 00:53:38,000 they're looking for a quick way to empower people. But I think that with this particular 549 00:53:38,000 --> 00:53:47,360 way of thinking, with this particular, I guess prescribed attitude adjustment, I think that 550 00:53:47,360 --> 00:53:51,800 people need to be really careful. And the reason why I did this episode is because I 551 00:53:51,800 --> 00:53:57,680 want to make sure that anybody that hears it can have knowledge of both the good and 552 00:53:57,680 --> 00:54:03,520 the bad ways of thinking about it and understand that there are pitfalls. And if you go too 553 00:54:03,520 --> 00:54:10,440 far in one direction, if you go too far towards really believing that you're super self important 554 00:54:10,440 --> 00:54:17,480 and that only your, only what you do matters, only everything revolves around you, that 555 00:54:17,480 --> 00:54:25,480 you are very quickly going to find yourself alone and unable to deal with the reality 556 00:54:25,480 --> 00:54:32,480 of the world around you. And obviously I don't want that for anybody. So I thought this episode 557 00:54:32,480 --> 00:54:38,360 was pretty important because this is something that I'm seeing more and more and not necessarily 558 00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:45,840 in individuals. I mean, you see it on Instagram quite a bit, but in the way that people are 559 00:54:45,840 --> 00:54:52,080 talking in the way that especially very popular, you know, people on Tik Tok and things like 560 00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:57,120 that, these are, there's people out there that have, you know, 250,000 to a million 561 00:54:57,120 --> 00:55:02,560 followers and they get on there and they say, you just need to worry about you and you need 562 00:55:02,560 --> 00:55:07,960 to do you and you need to, you know, you are the main character in the story. And I get 563 00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:14,080 it. What they're saying isn't inherently wrong. The problem is, is that a lot of times you're 564 00:55:14,080 --> 00:55:20,960 saying it to people that are going to take it to the absolute worst degree of it and 565 00:55:20,960 --> 00:55:25,160 they're going to pull themselves back and they're going to create the shield, this bubble 566 00:55:25,160 --> 00:55:30,160 around themselves and they're going to be the single most important person on the planet 567 00:55:30,160 --> 00:55:35,020 from that point on. And we just can't have that. Right? If you're going to use this way 568 00:55:35,020 --> 00:55:42,400 of thinking to empower yourself, you really need to do it from a, you know, think of these, 569 00:55:42,400 --> 00:55:47,160 these characters, like I said, think of the Luke Skywalker, think of the Ferris Bueller, 570 00:55:47,160 --> 00:55:52,480 think of these characters that are, you know, good characters that think about others that 571 00:55:52,480 --> 00:55:57,200 are, that are out there in the world of the, you know, the fantasy world, but the world 572 00:55:57,200 --> 00:56:06,600 nonetheless fighting for, you know, good and trying to leave the world a better place than 573 00:56:06,600 --> 00:56:16,360 they found it. So as we wrap up here, I just wanted to mention that next week's episode 574 00:56:16,360 --> 00:56:21,760 will be the first time I've done this. We're not going to have an actual topic. What we're 575 00:56:21,760 --> 00:56:25,240 going to do is we're going to go ahead and we're going to do a little story time. I've 576 00:56:25,240 --> 00:56:29,840 got one story that I'm going to read that was sent in and then I've got a few stories 577 00:56:29,840 --> 00:56:35,160 I'd like to tell. And so it's probably going to be on the longer side because I'm not going 578 00:56:35,160 --> 00:56:39,000 to rush through the stories and I'm going to talk about them for a little bit, but I 579 00:56:39,000 --> 00:56:46,200 think they're all stories that really do kind of signify what exactly we're trying to do 580 00:56:46,200 --> 00:56:51,000 here. And you know, for me, I know from my point of view, the stories that I'm going 581 00:56:51,000 --> 00:56:57,120 to tell next week are, in my opinion, they're, they're, they're good stories. Like they're, 582 00:56:57,120 --> 00:57:02,840 they're things that I'm proud of and they're moments that I know I helped somebody. And 583 00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:08,200 I hope that when you hear the stories, you'll, you'll be inspired to maybe try to make those 584 00:57:08,200 --> 00:57:16,360 small, make those, take those small actions and make those small changes necessary. So 585 00:57:16,360 --> 00:57:24,000 as we go out of this episode and we wrap it up, I just wanted to leave with another quote, 586 00:57:24,000 --> 00:57:30,160 as always. Now, like I said before, it was difficult to find quotes that really worked 587 00:57:30,160 --> 00:57:35,240 for this particular topic because there's not, you know, this isn't like a, a really 588 00:57:35,240 --> 00:57:41,880 popular topic right now. I mean, it is technically, but not, not among, you know, Aristotle. Aristotle 589 00:57:41,880 --> 00:57:46,200 doesn't know anything about main character syndrome. So it's hard to, it's hard to find 590 00:57:46,200 --> 00:57:51,960 historical quotes and things like that. So instead, I'm going to leave you with one that, 591 00:57:51,960 --> 00:57:59,160 I think kind of speaks to the, the syndrome or the therapy, however you want to think 592 00:57:59,160 --> 00:58:09,080 of it. And it really does kind of, I don't know, it hits me in the feels as they say. 593 00:58:09,080 --> 00:58:16,080 And the quote is watch your thoughts. They become words, watch your words. They become 594 00:58:16,080 --> 00:58:26,100 actions, watch your actions. They become habits, watch your habits. They become character, 595 00:58:26,100 --> 00:58:33,640 watch your character. It becomes your destiny. Now that is attributed to Lao Tzu, the, the 596 00:58:33,640 --> 00:58:40,920 supposed author of the Tao, but we, modern scholarship doesn't actually support that. 597 00:58:40,920 --> 00:58:49,360 So we're just going to say that it is a ancient Chinese philosophy and we'll leave it at that 598 00:58:49,360 --> 00:58:55,280 for now because I don't really know who wrote that, but that's what we're going to go out 599 00:58:55,280 --> 00:59:02,720 on folks. And I really appreciate you listening. Remember that next week will be story time 600 00:59:02,720 --> 00:59:07,400 and that's what we're going to call it. So thank you again. I hope you enjoyed this episode 601 00:59:07,400 --> 00:59:14,760 because it was kind of a labor of love, love, love too. There's a lot of love in this, but 602 00:59:14,760 --> 00:59:19,600 it was also something that I just found particularly interesting. Remember that if you have any 603 00:59:19,600 --> 00:59:24,520 stories you'd like to submit or you have anything you'd like me to read in the podcast, you 604 00:59:24,520 --> 00:59:33,880 can always write in to a pebble and a pond stories at gmail.com or you can find me on 605 00:59:33,880 --> 00:59:38,680 Tik TOK and leave me a message there and I'll, you know, we'll figure out how to get it 606 00:59:38,680 --> 00:59:46,040 on here. Also again, if you haven't followed me on Tik TOK yet, the, a pebble and a pond 607 00:59:46,040 --> 00:59:51,760 podcast is my channel and I'm putting things up there every day, including stuff about 608 00:59:51,760 --> 00:59:57,840 the podcast here. So if you want to give me a follow there, please do. And we'll try to 609 00:59:57,840 --> 01:00:03,040 keep building this thing up and making it so that more people are listening. It is getting 610 01:00:03,040 --> 01:00:08,280 better. We are getting more and more listeners. So, um, and we're not, we're not breaking 611 01:00:08,280 --> 01:00:14,720 hundreds yet, but we are getting, um, you know, 50 or so people per episode, which is, 612 01:00:14,720 --> 01:00:18,960 which is really nice. Um, but it's going to get bigger and we're going to keep growing 613 01:00:18,960 --> 01:00:24,160 and I'm going to get better at this. So, and hopefully better at not having to edit different 614 01:00:24,160 --> 01:00:30,320 sound qualities into an episode because I didn't realize there was a sound error, which 615 01:00:30,320 --> 01:00:34,400 if you follow my Tik TOK, you'll have known that this is, that's what's happening in the 616 01:00:34,400 --> 01:00:39,720 episode. Uh, anyway, that's it for now. Uh, I appreciate you listening. You guys take 617 01:00:39,720 --> 01:00:59,800 care and have a good day. 618 01:01:09,720 --> 01:01:39,000 You're still here? 619 01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:45,280 It's over. Go home. Go.