1 00:00:30,000 --> 00:00:38,400 Hey there folks, I'm Daniel. 2 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:42,360 Welcome to the Pebble in a Pond podcast. 3 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:46,200 This is not only going to be our first episode, but the first time that I've ever recorded 4 00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:47,440 anything like this. 5 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:52,480 So I hope that everyone is a little forgiving and understanding as I try to figure this 6 00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:58,920 all out and work out the kinks as I work my way through this. 7 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:05,240 Hopefully the message will be more important than the technical buffoonery that I am about 8 00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:08,840 to try to work my way through. 9 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:16,800 So I think we'll start with a simple introduction of what exactly this podcast is going to be 10 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:22,200 about and what the point of it all is. 11 00:01:22,200 --> 00:01:26,480 To do that, I'm going to start with a story. 12 00:01:26,480 --> 00:01:32,920 A story that I heard when I was very young. 13 00:01:32,920 --> 00:01:35,680 One that it really did have an impact on me. 14 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:43,160 I remember it sparingly, the details, so I'm going to try to fill in as much as I can. 15 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:46,960 I don't know where the story was originally told. 16 00:01:46,960 --> 00:01:49,640 I don't know how old the story is. 17 00:01:49,640 --> 00:02:00,800 It is literally just a childhood memory that really stuck with me a lot as I got older. 18 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:09,280 The story starts with a little boy in a village or somewhere. 19 00:02:09,280 --> 00:02:17,280 And he's a little farm boy in a village and he starts to wonder as he goes through every 20 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:23,200 day, get up, go to do his chores, do all the stuff that he does. 21 00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:27,600 He just works all day and then he goes to bed and he starts to wonder about his place 22 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:28,600 in the universe. 23 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:31,360 He starts to feel very insignificant. 24 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:37,720 And at some point he gets to where he's really questioning his own existence. 25 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:47,400 And so he goes to the village elder who is renowned for being this wise man who really 26 00:02:47,400 --> 00:02:54,880 understands where people's place is and really has a way of explaining things in a clear 27 00:02:54,880 --> 00:02:57,320 and concise way. 28 00:02:57,320 --> 00:03:06,080 And the village elder sits and listens and the little boy just says, how does somebody 29 00:03:06,080 --> 00:03:09,120 like me, like why do I matter? 30 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:12,640 What can I do to make the world a better place? 31 00:03:12,640 --> 00:03:15,440 How can I be important? 32 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:19,720 And the elder just looks at him and smiles and he takes him by the hand and he leads 33 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:25,400 him down the hill to a small pond that's at the bottom of the hill. 34 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:29,860 And when they reach the edge of the pond, the elder picks up a small pebble and he hands 35 00:03:29,860 --> 00:03:33,720 it to the boy and he says, throw the pebble into the pond. 36 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:35,360 So the boy does. 37 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:40,320 And when the pebble hits the pond, it creates a, you know, it's a little tiny pebble. 38 00:03:40,320 --> 00:03:44,600 So it just creates a splash and then some ripples. 39 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:48,840 And the boy just sits there and watches the ripples for a second. 40 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:55,120 And the elder says, just like that pebble, our actions can create ripples in the world 41 00:03:55,120 --> 00:03:57,760 around us. 42 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:03,440 Every time you're kind, every time you're gentle, every time you act with compassion 43 00:04:03,440 --> 00:04:10,480 and courtesy, you're creating a ripple that reaches far beyond anything that you can ever 44 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:12,040 really understand. 45 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:18,920 The same thing goes for when you inflict harm or pain or negativity. 46 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:25,200 Those ripples are also felt and they have far reaching consequences that you'll never 47 00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:26,200 understand. 48 00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:32,080 So as the boy sits there and thinks about this, he begins to understand, you know, just 49 00:04:32,080 --> 00:04:34,160 how simple it really is. 50 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:37,320 And he turns and he looks at the pond and he realizes that those little ripples that 51 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:43,760 he had made by throwing the pebble have now turned into a little bit larger waves and 52 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:51,280 they're hitting the shore and they're moving the dirt and the pieces of stuff on the edge 53 00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:53,280 of the pond. 54 00:04:53,280 --> 00:04:57,640 And he, you know, has a look on his face like he's starting to understand and the village 55 00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:03,240 elder reaches his hand down and puts his hand on the shoulder of this boy and says, you 56 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:10,040 must understand that you don't get to choose what happens when you throw the pebble. 57 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:14,400 It just hits the pond and the ripples go where they will. 58 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:22,160 So if you act with love and kindness, you don't need to worry about it because you know 59 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:30,120 that the positive energy and the love that you're spreading will be the effect that you're 60 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:31,520 bringing into the world. 61 00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:39,720 Whereas if you are spreading hate or anger or any other negative emotion, that's what 62 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:42,360 you're going to spread into the world. 63 00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:50,360 As the boy stood there, he began to understand and he made a promise to himself and to the 64 00:05:50,360 --> 00:05:56,080 elder that he was going to live his life with purpose and intention. 65 00:05:56,080 --> 00:06:02,400 He was going to try everything he could to be as kind and loving and compassionate as 66 00:06:02,400 --> 00:06:08,320 possible so that the energy that he put into the world and the ripples that he created 67 00:06:08,320 --> 00:06:10,720 would be ones that were positive. 68 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:20,040 He understood that the smallest boy, the smallest pebble can create far, far reaching effects 69 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:23,080 just with a simple act of kindness. 70 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:29,360 Now obviously I was kind of trying to remember a lot of that off the cuff so I apologize 71 00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:34,000 for kind of stammering and working my way through it. 72 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:41,080 It really, when you're a little kid and you hear a story like that, it kind of cements 73 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:46,060 your place to a certain degree. 74 00:06:46,060 --> 00:06:51,600 It makes you realize just how important you can be while also kind of being crappy because 75 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:55,840 this old guy is like, hey you're insignificant. 76 00:06:55,840 --> 00:07:04,480 But completely forgetting that part, it's an important lesson. 77 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:18,200 When I decided to start, for lack of a better word, changing my life, I decided that that 78 00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:23,480 was the basis on which I was going to make the changes. 79 00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:30,560 I'm not somebody who has ever really embraced a lot of major changes in my life so all I 80 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:34,040 could really think to do was small things. 81 00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:37,160 And one of those small things is starting this podcast. 82 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:40,600 And if you've come here from the TikTok videos and you know that I've started doing that 83 00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:47,800 as well, it's really just to get the idea of this message out. 84 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:51,000 And that idea is as simple as that story. 85 00:07:51,000 --> 00:08:00,120 If each one of us takes just a little bit of extra time, just a little bit of understanding 86 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:04,360 and carries that with us and says, you know what, I'm not going to be a jerk. 87 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:06,520 I'm not going to be mean to people. 88 00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:09,440 I'm not going to treat people horribly. 89 00:08:09,440 --> 00:08:12,240 I'm just going to be kind and loving. 90 00:08:12,240 --> 00:08:14,740 And I'm going to put that energy out. 91 00:08:14,740 --> 00:08:21,440 If we could get 50 people to do that, it would be a massive change in the world. 92 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:26,000 If we can get 100 people to do that, it would be a massive change. 93 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:33,360 Any number of people that can latch onto this idea and start to understand it, the changes 94 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:40,400 that you'll start to see in the people around you and the world around you will be jaw dropping. 95 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,000 And I'm not just saying that for hyperbole. 96 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,400 I really do believe that. 97 00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:48,960 I believe that if all of us just took a little bit of extra time and effort to be better 98 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:53,360 people that the world would genuinely be a better place. 99 00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:55,600 Now, obviously it's not that simple, right? 100 00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:59,480 Like I can't just come on here and say it and it makes it happen. 101 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:07,880 And that's kind of what the whole point of this podcast is, is to try to illustrate ideas 102 00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:15,680 and concepts and ways of thinking that will help further this idea and will make it easier 103 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,720 for people that maybe haven't thought about some of these things. 104 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:25,560 I'm just going to be giving suggestions and telling stories that I feel are positive and 105 00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:31,760 bring some good energy into this world because at the end of the day, all we can do is try 106 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:33,520 to change things. 107 00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:39,320 And if we do nothing, then things are going to stay exactly how they are. 108 00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:43,280 And I don't really feel like doing nothing anymore. 109 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:49,240 And on that note, I think it's probably important to make sure that everybody understands a 110 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,960 little bit about me. 111 00:09:51,960 --> 00:10:01,280 I have been clinically depressed for probably 20 years. 112 00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:04,120 I don't really remember when it started. 113 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:08,360 I don't really remember how it started. 114 00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:12,280 It just kind of creeped in and took hold of me. 115 00:10:12,280 --> 00:10:21,640 And for those of you that don't really understand depression, it can, it creates a version of 116 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:30,320 you that is, I don't really know how to say this, it is your front-facing face. 117 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:37,360 The way that you interact with people, the way that you, the way that people view you, 118 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:40,960 they see this mask of depression most of the time. 119 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:47,960 And what I mean by that is there will be times when you'll be interacting with someone and 120 00:10:47,960 --> 00:10:50,640 you'll be trapped in your own body. 121 00:10:50,640 --> 00:10:55,200 You won't be able to speak out and say the things you want to say because your depression 122 00:10:55,200 --> 00:11:01,040 is just so stifling and so overwhelming that it's doing all the talking for you. 123 00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:05,120 You don't really get to make the choice of how you interact with people a lot of times. 124 00:11:05,120 --> 00:11:16,240 So for me, having lived with it for as long as I did, or still am really, it was very 125 00:11:16,240 --> 00:11:18,280 life-altering. 126 00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:27,040 It became my way of life and it really did affect everyone and everything in my life. 127 00:11:27,040 --> 00:11:32,120 And obviously for a period of time like that, I can't really get into all the details of 128 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:33,120 it. 129 00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:37,160 Maybe if I do this podcast for another 40 years, I can get into it. 130 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:42,680 But it's pretty depressing since we're talking about depression. 131 00:11:42,680 --> 00:11:45,800 And so there's, I don't really see much point in all the details. 132 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:50,800 The reason I bring that up is because this podcast and the ideas that come out of it 133 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:59,320 were spawned at the very, very bottom of that depression where it basically became a situation 134 00:11:59,320 --> 00:12:02,760 where it was sink or swim. 135 00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:08,440 I either had to find a way to claw myself out of it or I was it. 136 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:09,440 I was done. 137 00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:12,360 And I mean that in just the way you think I mean it. 138 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:14,720 It was really, really that bad. 139 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:20,840 And it was really over the course of one night I just hit rock bottom emotionally. 140 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:24,080 I couldn't see a way out. 141 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:31,000 And then I'm not really sure what happened, but I mean I've been calling it an inspiration 142 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,940 or an epiphany. 143 00:12:32,940 --> 00:12:36,120 But at some point it just clicked. 144 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:37,920 You know, I can't keep doing this. 145 00:12:37,920 --> 00:12:42,140 I can't let this depression kill me. 146 00:12:42,140 --> 00:12:45,080 I can't let it take over my life anymore. 147 00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:50,040 And I mean once again the backstory is a little bit more in depth and the reasoning for the 148 00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:55,720 depression getting that bad is a longer story that I'm not going to get into at this point 149 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:57,440 at least. 150 00:12:57,440 --> 00:13:02,560 But suffice it to say I was moved. 151 00:13:02,560 --> 00:13:04,360 I was changed. 152 00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:10,600 I felt almost immediately better about my life. 153 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:14,520 For those of you that have dealt with depression you'll know that there's periods of time where 154 00:13:14,520 --> 00:13:18,880 it fades away and you start to feel yourself again. 155 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:21,200 You start to feel good. 156 00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:24,120 And the problem with depression is that it always comes back. 157 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:26,200 It always rears its ugly head. 158 00:13:26,200 --> 00:13:27,200 And you know, who knows? 159 00:13:27,200 --> 00:13:31,960 It may, I may have to deal with it, fight the hydra again if you will. 160 00:13:31,960 --> 00:13:40,560 But right now as I'm recording this I feel better than I have in a long, long time. 161 00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:42,520 And I feel like I have a purpose. 162 00:13:42,520 --> 00:13:48,960 And that purpose is to try to get this message out and make people feel better about their 163 00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:55,600 lives and try to affect the lives of those closest to them so that they may also be pebbles 164 00:13:55,600 --> 00:13:57,440 in the pond if you will. 165 00:13:57,440 --> 00:14:06,880 Now the general idea of this spawned, like I said, in a period of extreme depression. 166 00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:14,360 And the original idea was going to be me as somebody who is a, I guess you could say a 167 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:25,640 student of humanity and history and just general, I guess you could say I'm a student of people. 168 00:14:25,640 --> 00:14:34,800 My favorite pastime when I was in high school and those formative years was not going out 169 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:36,720 and partying and drinking and all of those things. 170 00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:39,560 I would just go places and sit and people watch. 171 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:40,960 That was my favorite thing to do. 172 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:42,200 I loved watching people. 173 00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:43,680 I loved learning people. 174 00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:51,400 I would sit in the middle of a mall or I would sit in a, at the time there was a virgin megastore. 175 00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:55,960 I would sit and I would go up into the top level of the virgin megastore and I would 176 00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:58,080 just sit and watch people. 177 00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:02,000 And no doubt it was probably boring for most of my friends. 178 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,080 But for me it was enthralling. 179 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:05,080 I loved it. 180 00:15:05,080 --> 00:15:06,360 I loved watching the way people walked. 181 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:10,520 I loved watching the way that some people held hands and some people, you know, the 182 00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:14,520 looks that they would give each other, the ways that people communicated without ever 183 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:16,400 really saying a word. 184 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:24,040 I really spend most of my time when I'm in public studying people and trying to understand 185 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:29,600 them on a verbal and nonverbal level. 186 00:15:29,600 --> 00:15:36,640 So I know that sometimes when you get into these podcasts and you start to listen to 187 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:41,440 them, people throw around terms that I guess are hot button terms and this is one of those 188 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:42,680 for some people. 189 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:45,020 And so just bear with me on this. 190 00:15:45,020 --> 00:15:47,600 Some people would say that I'm an empath. 191 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:50,960 I know that there are people out there that for some reason don't believe that empathy 192 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:52,480 is a real thing. 193 00:15:52,480 --> 00:15:57,120 I don't really understand that, but you know, welcome anyway. 194 00:15:57,120 --> 00:16:09,920 I am an extremely sensitive empath and I really do connect very well with people in a way 195 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:17,480 that is oftentimes painful, but is always something I can learn from and I grow from. 196 00:16:17,480 --> 00:16:20,880 I don't have to do a lot of things myself. 197 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:26,680 I can learn from the pain or the happiness of other people. 198 00:16:26,680 --> 00:16:30,680 I can really pull from that and experience it through them a lot of times. 199 00:16:30,680 --> 00:16:35,640 No, I mean obviously like skydiving is something you just have to do on your own. 200 00:16:35,640 --> 00:16:44,640 You're never really going to be able to emulate that with just empathy, but it is, you know, 201 00:16:44,640 --> 00:16:49,860 I can certainly understand the happiness and the high related with it. 202 00:16:49,860 --> 00:16:56,800 So the original idea was going to be me having the skill set that I have and a very close 203 00:16:56,800 --> 00:17:06,840 friend of mine who is a trained life coach and she was going to be bringing her expertise 204 00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:12,200 and her training into the fold and we were basically just going to have a back and forth 205 00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:18,440 about how certain ways of seeing certain problems and dealing with certain people and you know, 206 00:17:18,440 --> 00:17:21,240 things that you go through in your life. 207 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:24,720 There's just different tactics that you can take and different ways that you can move 208 00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:28,160 through those scenarios and those situations. 209 00:17:28,160 --> 00:17:33,880 Sometimes the better thing to do is you know, you take the life coaching and the therapy 210 00:17:33,880 --> 00:17:38,400 and the psychiatry way of doing things, the kind of professional way of doing things and 211 00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:41,040 that's obviously going to be better for some people. 212 00:17:41,040 --> 00:17:47,320 But for a lot of people, it's just really something you can just boil down to simplicity 213 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:52,600 and kindness and I think that that's lost on a lot of people is that sometimes the best 214 00:17:52,600 --> 00:17:57,480 way through a scenario or a situation that involves other people is really honestly the 215 00:17:57,480 --> 00:18:00,740 simplest and easiest way of doing it. 216 00:18:00,740 --> 00:18:08,920 But I feel like it's important to let everybody know that the life coach friend that I had 217 00:18:08,920 --> 00:18:15,000 is probably not going to be taking part, at least not for a long time if she does. 218 00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:20,280 It wasn't something that necessarily moved her as much as it moved me, but I felt that 219 00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:26,800 the message that I was trying to get out and the importance of the change that can come 220 00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:31,280 about from it were just too important. 221 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:37,160 I couldn't let that sidetrack me and I couldn't let it stop me from making this podcast. 222 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:45,400 I may end up spending hours making these podcasts and making these episodes and just end up 223 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:49,680 talking to myself through most of them, but if that's the case, then at least I'm getting 224 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:51,440 it out. 225 00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:58,340 I work on these with two of my children and they're actually going to be my engineer and 226 00:18:58,340 --> 00:19:00,560 my social media manager. 227 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:07,840 So very soon after you hear this, there will be a social media presence on almost every 228 00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:10,800 social media site for this podcast. 229 00:19:10,800 --> 00:19:16,440 We're really going to try as hard as we can to get the basic ideas of this message out 230 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:18,760 to as many people as we possibly can. 231 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,000 I don't just want to do a podcast. 232 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:26,800 I really do genuinely from the bottom of my heart want to start a community. 233 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:31,280 I want to build something out of nothing. 234 00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:36,400 I want to create a movement if I can. 235 00:19:36,400 --> 00:19:38,320 And obviously I can't do it alone. 236 00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:43,360 So if you're hearing this and it's something that you're interested in, please, please 237 00:19:43,360 --> 00:19:48,880 engage, please stick around because as I get better at this and we start to really be able 238 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:58,000 to touch some people and change some mindsets and ways of looking at the world, I think 239 00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:02,320 that you're going to want to be here to see it. 240 00:20:02,320 --> 00:20:03,760 You're going to want to see it from the beginning. 241 00:20:03,760 --> 00:20:09,480 You're going to want to understand how this change came about because if I can accomplish 242 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:13,840 what I'm out to accomplish, it's a really simple goal. 243 00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:16,000 I just want to change the world. 244 00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:22,480 And that may sound a little arrogant, but we got to dream big, baby. 245 00:20:22,480 --> 00:20:23,480 Dream big. 246 00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:26,240 That's where I got to be. 247 00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:32,720 This inspiration came to me at a point where I was at my lowest and I'm not going to let 248 00:20:32,720 --> 00:20:34,760 it come back. 249 00:20:34,760 --> 00:20:37,080 I'm not going to let that low point come back. 250 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:47,240 I'm going to follow this lead to the very end if I can and try to make not just my world, 251 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:52,320 but the people in this world better. 252 00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:53,320 I just have to. 253 00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:54,320 I don't know why. 254 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,800 I don't know what's driving me. 255 00:20:56,800 --> 00:20:58,840 I'm not a religious man. 256 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,760 I'm not someone that has a lot of faith in a lot of things. 257 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:08,760 I'm actually pretty well known for being a cynic and a skeptic. 258 00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:17,640 So these things that I say and this leap of faith, if you will, that I'm taking is extremely 259 00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:20,480 uncomfortable and odd. 260 00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:26,820 And I don't quite understand it, but sometimes we just got to roll with it. 261 00:21:26,820 --> 00:21:29,760 Sometimes we don't have much choice in that. 262 00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:38,480 My goal with these episodes will be to try to keep them between 30 and 45 minutes. 263 00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:47,100 As we move forward, I would like to start to bring some people in, whether it be actually 264 00:21:47,100 --> 00:21:56,120 in person or through whatever media I need to, to bring people in and do some interviews 265 00:21:56,120 --> 00:22:00,440 and really get some professional outlooks on certain things. 266 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:12,040 I have a few avenues to pursue some historical, I guess, historians that might be willing 267 00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:18,760 to come on and talk about the history of certain concepts and ideas that I'm going to be talking 268 00:22:18,760 --> 00:22:19,920 about. 269 00:22:19,920 --> 00:22:24,360 But those are a little ways out and obviously something I'm still working on. 270 00:22:24,360 --> 00:22:31,920 So as of right now, every episode is going to have a theme, an idea that I'm going to 271 00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:43,200 be discussing and trying to create understanding and avenues of change for people so that they 272 00:22:43,200 --> 00:22:47,840 can start to employ some of these concepts in their everyday life and make these little 273 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:48,840 changes. 274 00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:52,240 Now, I'm not, as I've already stated, I'm not a doctor. 275 00:22:52,240 --> 00:22:55,120 I mean, maybe I didn't already state that, but I'm not a doctor. 276 00:22:55,120 --> 00:22:56,440 I'm not a psychiatrist. 277 00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:58,240 I'm not a therapist. 278 00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:05,000 I'm not really somebody who, you know, any more than you would listen to your best friend 279 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,000 and their advice. 280 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:08,480 I'm not anything more than that. 281 00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:17,580 But I can offer this if it makes any of this easier. 282 00:23:17,580 --> 00:23:25,120 I genuinely care about what's happening to people and I can't tell you how important 283 00:23:25,120 --> 00:23:31,760 it is to me that each person that hears this gets something out of it. 284 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:39,560 I don't want to sit here and talk into the void, but I certainly will if at some point, 285 00:23:39,560 --> 00:23:45,920 whether it be tomorrow or a year from now, somebody might hear it and it might help them. 286 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:50,800 So I'm going to just keep doing it until it changes somebody's life because that's what 287 00:23:50,800 --> 00:23:52,680 it's all about. 288 00:23:52,680 --> 00:23:58,200 So I guess what I'd like to do next, and this will probably wrap up this episode, is I want 289 00:23:58,200 --> 00:24:00,800 to tell a story. 290 00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:05,400 And this isn't going to be a story like the other one where I'm trying to remember it 291 00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:08,920 and stammering through it while I am trying to remember something. 292 00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:10,800 Well, I mean, I guess kind of it is. 293 00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:15,360 I mean, this was a long time ago, but I remember it much more clearly than I do that story 294 00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:19,920 that is a childhood memory. 295 00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:30,000 This story actually takes place when I was, I'd say around 16 or 17, and a group of friends 296 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:37,240 of mine, like three or four of us, we used to go hang out at the McDonald's, which is 297 00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:41,160 just as exciting as it sounds. 298 00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:46,280 There was a McDonald's that was, a big McDonald's that was open 24 hours. 299 00:24:46,280 --> 00:24:52,720 And instead of going out to clubs and things like that, since we were still only 16 years 300 00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:56,560 old, 17, we would go hang out at the McDonald's. 301 00:24:56,560 --> 00:24:59,760 And we would hang out until like four or five in the morning. 302 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:01,160 This was like a serious hangout. 303 00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:03,680 This wasn't, we weren't playing around. 304 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:05,880 We were hanging out. 305 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:12,920 And I remember very clearly going in there, you know, we'd been going in there a lot, 306 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:21,800 but I was, we went in there and a young lady at the time was at the register. 307 00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:23,960 I'd never seen her before. 308 00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:29,480 And she was sad, I guess you could say. 309 00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:35,840 She looked like she had not necessarily been crying, but had obviously been upset about 310 00:25:35,840 --> 00:25:36,840 something. 311 00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:42,760 And keep in mind, I had been there a lot and I'd never seen this girl before. 312 00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:44,960 And everybody, you know, everybody ordered their thing. 313 00:25:44,960 --> 00:25:47,840 And I just, I don't know why. 314 00:25:47,840 --> 00:25:48,840 I don't know. 315 00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:57,480 I can't really explain it to you or anybody why I felt this need to talk to this girl. 316 00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:02,360 But this would become something from, I mean, even back then, this would be something that 317 00:26:02,360 --> 00:26:06,440 would actually be a driving force for me and a lot of interactions I would have is just, 318 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:10,240 I just feel these like overwhelming, like I have to do this. 319 00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:11,240 I have to do that. 320 00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:13,320 I don't know why, but I have to. 321 00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:20,800 And this was one of those times I was overwhelmed by this need to talk to this girl. 322 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:22,360 And there was no attraction. 323 00:26:22,360 --> 00:26:26,280 I mean, we were, you know, she was probably a little older than me, but there was no like 324 00:26:26,280 --> 00:26:27,880 physical attraction or anything. 325 00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:31,080 It was just, I just felt like I had to talk to her. 326 00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:35,040 And I just asked her, I was like, are you okay? 327 00:26:35,040 --> 00:26:37,040 And she said, yeah, yeah. 328 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:41,000 You know, she has, she put on the face that a lot of people put on where they, oh yeah, 329 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:42,000 of course. 330 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:43,000 Yeah, no problem. 331 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:44,000 I was like, are you sure? 332 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:45,760 Cause you seem like you're a little upset. 333 00:26:45,760 --> 00:26:47,080 You know, I'm not, I'm not trying to pry. 334 00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:49,000 I just, you know, you see, you do seem upset. 335 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:51,280 Is there anything I can do to help you? 336 00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:59,080 And to say that those words changed lives would be doing a disservice to those words 337 00:26:59,080 --> 00:27:04,960 because at that point in time, she, she damn near broke down. 338 00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:10,640 Honestly, she, she just, tears came to her eyes and she said, no, I, you know, I've got, 339 00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:12,920 I've got some problems and I'm dealing with them. 340 00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:15,480 You know, you don't worry about it. 341 00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:22,200 And you know, she, she did what most people do in society and she tried to deflect and 342 00:27:22,200 --> 00:27:24,400 she tried to not get into it. 343 00:27:24,400 --> 00:27:26,400 And I wasn't, I wasn't trying to pry. 344 00:27:26,400 --> 00:27:29,380 I wasn't trying to like force anything out of her. 345 00:27:29,380 --> 00:27:33,080 So I just, you know, I told her, you know, well, I'll be, I'll be over there sitting 346 00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:38,920 down if you take a break and you want to talk about any of this stuff, you know, come join 347 00:27:38,920 --> 00:27:41,180 me and my friends were there and everything. 348 00:27:41,180 --> 00:27:46,520 So obviously that wasn't going to be the most comfortable scenario for her, but I, I sat, 349 00:27:46,520 --> 00:27:52,800 I went, I got my, got my fries and I went and sat down and it wasn't that long, maybe, 350 00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:54,200 maybe 30 minutes. 351 00:27:54,200 --> 00:27:57,280 And she came over and she had a tray of food. 352 00:27:57,280 --> 00:27:59,880 She was on a break and she sat down. 353 00:27:59,880 --> 00:28:01,960 Well, let me be clear. 354 00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:03,120 She didn't sit down with me. 355 00:28:03,120 --> 00:28:05,520 She actually asked me if we could go talk. 356 00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:08,800 And then I got up and went to a different booth and she sat down with me. 357 00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:17,400 So she begins to tell me that she's a newly single mother. 358 00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:22,940 And for this story, since I don't want to incriminate anybody or make anybody uncomfortable 359 00:28:22,940 --> 00:28:27,380 that might hear it, we're going to call her Sarah. 360 00:28:27,380 --> 00:28:34,200 So Sarah tells me that she's a newly single young mother. 361 00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:38,920 She lives on her own. 362 00:28:38,920 --> 00:28:44,400 She's basically got enough money to make it a month in the apartment that she's at. 363 00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:47,600 Maybe, maybe two, if she really pushes it. 364 00:28:47,600 --> 00:28:57,760 But the man in her life at the time had, you know, through her, through her pregnancy and 365 00:28:57,760 --> 00:29:01,320 everything had promised that they were going to, you know, they were going to do this and 366 00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:02,800 they were going to do that and they were going to make it. 367 00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:07,280 And then as soon as her daughter was born, he ghosted her. 368 00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:08,680 He disappeared. 369 00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:12,760 And back then, I mean, this is, this is the nineties. 370 00:29:12,760 --> 00:29:16,280 Back then when you ghosted somebody, they were pretty much just gone. 371 00:29:16,280 --> 00:29:18,720 Like there wasn't any social media or anything to find them. 372 00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:22,080 They were, you know, if they didn't want to be found, they were just gone. 373 00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,720 Unless you know, a friend narc'd on them or something. 374 00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:31,160 But for the most part, ghosting people back then was, was they were literally just ghosts. 375 00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:39,760 So she, here she was alone, suddenly trying to raise a baby daughter. 376 00:29:39,760 --> 00:29:42,960 And it just, it had just become too much for her. 377 00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:51,400 And when she would come into her new job, this McDonald's, she was, she was getting 378 00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:56,880 into trouble because she was showing up five, 10 minutes late because her situation dictated 379 00:29:56,880 --> 00:30:02,900 that she couldn't necessarily make it every time, every day on time. 380 00:30:02,900 --> 00:30:07,520 And so the managers and stuff were kind of laying into her and telling her that she was 381 00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:08,520 going to get fired. 382 00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:12,880 And this was creating a level of stress that was, it was just breaking her. 383 00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:16,900 And you could just see it, like I said, on her face, you could just see that she was, 384 00:30:16,900 --> 00:30:19,000 she was damn near the end. 385 00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:24,000 She was going to have a breakdown and everything was going to be really bad. 386 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:29,400 So I just sat with her and we just talked and I told her about myself and we ended up 387 00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:33,480 spending the 30 minute break that she had just sitting there talking and going through 388 00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:34,480 all this stuff. 389 00:30:34,480 --> 00:30:37,040 And I told her, you know what, I'll, I'm here all the time anyway. 390 00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:38,040 I haven't seen you before. 391 00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:42,760 I didn't know the first time we met, but I'll be here tomorrow or the next day. 392 00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:47,120 And if you want to take a break, we can sit and talk some more. 393 00:30:47,120 --> 00:30:52,560 Now, like I said before, this wasn't a situation where I was necessarily, like there was no 394 00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:54,600 physical attraction. 395 00:30:54,600 --> 00:30:55,680 She was, she was a pretty girl. 396 00:30:55,680 --> 00:31:00,640 I'm not, I just, at the time I was with somebody and I wasn't really thinking like that. 397 00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:05,840 And so it, there was no ulterior motive for what I was doing. 398 00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:10,840 I just felt this overwhelming desire to help. 399 00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:16,040 And I realize now looking back on it, that that might not be something that everybody 400 00:31:16,040 --> 00:31:18,400 can relate to. 401 00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:23,760 I don't, I'm not somebody who necessarily understands that because I kind of live my 402 00:31:23,760 --> 00:31:25,720 life trying to help people. 403 00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:30,000 Even in my deepest depressions, I was trying to be pleasant and trying to help people. 404 00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:34,720 But I guess that's not something that everybody experiences. 405 00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:38,360 I guess that's not something that everybody can relate to. 406 00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:43,920 And that's as a side note, important because that's what we're trying to change. 407 00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:48,240 You know, we're really, we're really want to try to get people to understand the mindset 408 00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:57,640 that can go into being helpful and being kind and being there for the people that you contact 409 00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:00,240 and the people that you come across in life. 410 00:32:00,240 --> 00:32:09,960 So back to the story, I did come back, obviously, the next day and she was working and she took 411 00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:11,760 her break. 412 00:32:11,760 --> 00:32:13,480 And it was the same thing. 413 00:32:13,480 --> 00:32:18,920 You know, she wasn't, obviously she wasn't quite as upset for whatever reason. 414 00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:21,600 And we sat for 30 minutes. 415 00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:27,200 She took her, she took her lunch or break and she just came and sat with me and we just 416 00:32:27,200 --> 00:32:29,240 sat and talked. 417 00:32:29,240 --> 00:32:34,200 And this happened over the course of a few weeks, multiple times. 418 00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:39,800 I think it probably, probably been four or five, five times a week I was there. 419 00:32:39,800 --> 00:32:41,440 And like I said, this was just our hangout spot. 420 00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:45,300 We would just go get a drink and sit down and, you know, start shit with people as they 421 00:32:45,300 --> 00:32:46,300 walked by. 422 00:32:46,300 --> 00:32:52,600 We were, you know, Repscallions and hoodlums hanging out at the McDonald's at 3 a.m. 423 00:32:52,600 --> 00:33:00,520 But this, this moment and this interaction I had with Sarah kind of changed that a little 424 00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:01,520 bit. 425 00:33:01,520 --> 00:33:05,520 I kind of had, had removed myself for this period of time from these guys. 426 00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:09,000 And these are, these are my close friends and you know, obviously they're looking at 427 00:33:09,000 --> 00:33:11,040 it like, oh, are you trying to get with this chick? 428 00:33:11,040 --> 00:33:13,580 And I'm like, no, I'm just trying to help. 429 00:33:13,580 --> 00:33:18,720 And so them knowing me relatively well, they kind of backed off and they kind of understood 430 00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:19,720 where I was coming from. 431 00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:26,720 And so over the course of this month or so where I would go in and we would have these 432 00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:32,800 conversations, things were getting progressively worse for her, but she was feeling better. 433 00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:41,720 Having somebody there to talk to and to kind of lay down some of the burden that she had 434 00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:42,800 really helped her a lot. 435 00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:46,960 And I saw it and she, she said it a few times, you know, she was, she was happy. 436 00:33:46,960 --> 00:33:51,280 She was, she was glad she would look forward to going to work because it was almost going 437 00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:56,680 to work became a respite from the dreariness of the rest of her life. 438 00:33:56,680 --> 00:34:01,680 She got to come in and have a 30 minute therapy session with, with yours truly. 439 00:34:01,680 --> 00:34:04,360 And I knew that, I knew that it was a high point for her. 440 00:34:04,360 --> 00:34:06,320 She had, she'd explained it to me. 441 00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:09,320 And so I started to try to build on it. 442 00:34:09,320 --> 00:34:14,600 I, you know, I started to try to give some suggestions and some ideas of things that 443 00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:20,480 she could do, things that might make it easier for her and her daughter. 444 00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:24,320 So you know, like I said, this was a, this was a pretty concentrated period of time. 445 00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:29,640 This was a, I don't know, like I said, a month, month and a half that I did this and then 446 00:34:29,640 --> 00:34:32,320 life happens, things happen. 447 00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:36,040 And I think I got a job. 448 00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:40,520 I don't remember which job this was, but I got a job and I couldn't, I wouldn't come 449 00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:42,000 in all the time anymore. 450 00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:45,280 It became more of a once a week thing. 451 00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:50,720 But when I would, every time I would come in, she would come sit down with me and she'd 452 00:34:50,720 --> 00:34:52,440 eat some fries or whatever. 453 00:34:52,440 --> 00:34:53,440 And we'd sit and talk. 454 00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:57,600 Well, as time went on and she was, you know, she wasn't taking all my advice, but she was 455 00:34:57,600 --> 00:35:01,680 listening and she was understanding that I was trying to help. 456 00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:07,160 And so as time went on, she ended up taking some of my advice and doing the things she 457 00:35:07,160 --> 00:35:12,640 needed to do to become a shift lead and then become a manager. 458 00:35:12,640 --> 00:35:17,880 And this happened over the course of probably, I don't know, I want to say six to eight months. 459 00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:23,320 She went from a new hire cashier to a shift lead. 460 00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:28,640 And then she became the night manager of a pretty big McDonald's. 461 00:35:28,640 --> 00:35:30,760 Actually, it was a pretty big deal. 462 00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:37,680 And I'll never forget the first time, because I knew that she was up for the manager position, 463 00:35:37,680 --> 00:35:41,760 but I'll never forget going in there and seeing her. 464 00:35:41,760 --> 00:35:45,600 And she was, you know, wearing little manager shirts that they wear and everything. 465 00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:47,440 And she just smiled at me. 466 00:35:47,440 --> 00:35:53,000 And even now just saying that I just, the mental image of her smile, it's heartwarming, 467 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:54,560 honestly. 468 00:35:54,560 --> 00:36:03,080 Seeing her smile and she came and instead of me buying my food, when I went to go check 469 00:36:03,080 --> 00:36:08,000 out or went to go up to the register, she just waved me off. 470 00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:09,800 And I was like, okay. 471 00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:11,720 And she's like, just go sit down. 472 00:36:11,720 --> 00:36:17,640 So I go sit down and probably 10 minutes later, she comes around the corner and she's got 473 00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:21,040 a tray of food for me. 474 00:36:21,040 --> 00:36:24,880 And she was a manager now, so she got the perks. 475 00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:27,860 And she went and she got food for us both. 476 00:36:27,860 --> 00:36:29,920 And we sat there and we had our normal. 477 00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:33,340 I think it was actually a 45 minute conversation because she was the manager. 478 00:36:33,340 --> 00:36:36,400 She had to get up and go deal with a bunch of crap while we were talking. 479 00:36:36,400 --> 00:36:40,820 But we ended up sitting there talking for quite some time. 480 00:36:40,820 --> 00:36:42,480 And then that would happen. 481 00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:45,000 That ended up being the new normal thing. 482 00:36:45,000 --> 00:36:50,920 It was once a week, once in a while, I would go in and sit down and we'd catch up. 483 00:36:50,920 --> 00:36:57,000 And as time went on, life just went in separate directions. 484 00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:00,160 And I stopped hanging out at McDonald's. 485 00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:04,440 And I never had her phone number. 486 00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:09,400 I never had any way of getting in contact with her. 487 00:37:09,400 --> 00:37:12,580 There was a point where I didn't know where she lived. 488 00:37:12,580 --> 00:37:23,620 There was a point where her ex-man had come back into her life and was threatening her. 489 00:37:23,620 --> 00:37:27,920 And I remember her telling me that. 490 00:37:27,920 --> 00:37:34,560 And especially then I was a lot more white nightish, if you will. 491 00:37:34,560 --> 00:37:43,880 And I got her address and met her at the gas station by her house one day and followed 492 00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:49,360 her to her house just to make a show of... 493 00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:50,360 I never went in her house. 494 00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:51,360 I never went in her... 495 00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:52,360 It was her apartment. 496 00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:53,360 I never went in her apartment. 497 00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:59,920 But I remember going in there just to make a show of she's got muscle, basically. 498 00:37:59,920 --> 00:38:06,920 And shockingly enough, I'm not really a big guy, but apparently I'm pretty intimidating. 499 00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:09,480 So shockingly enough, it worked. 500 00:38:09,480 --> 00:38:16,520 And this dude took off and from what I understand, didn't come back for a long, long time and 501 00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:20,160 didn't bother her anymore, which was good for her and her daughter because that guy 502 00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:21,880 was a real douchebag. 503 00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:27,920 So as time went on, like I said, we just kind of went our separate ways. 504 00:38:27,920 --> 00:38:35,000 And I won't say I forgot about her, but when life is happening, you tend to put things 505 00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:37,600 that are in the past in the past. 506 00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:41,360 And I was just living a whole new life. 507 00:38:41,360 --> 00:38:44,160 Well flash forward about two years. 508 00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:46,900 And I'll be honest, I don't remember the concert. 509 00:38:46,900 --> 00:38:53,200 I don't remember what I was there with, but I was there with my mother and somebody else, 510 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,400 another friend of mine. 511 00:38:55,400 --> 00:39:02,840 And we're out in the lobby leaving the merch booth. 512 00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:09,160 And I've got a fresh new concert t-shirt over my shoulder and we're walking back into the 513 00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:11,400 venue and I hear my name. 514 00:39:11,400 --> 00:39:15,520 I just hear somebody yell, Daniel, Daniel. 515 00:39:15,520 --> 00:39:19,400 And I turn around and I'm looking through the crowd and my mom heard my name as well 516 00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:24,080 and she's turning and she's looking and she's somebody she recognizes. 517 00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:31,360 And I remember scanning the crowd and not recognizing anybody and just being confused 518 00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:33,920 and thinking, well, they must be talking to somebody else. 519 00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:41,000 And then the crowd parted like a movie scene and Sarah was standing there. 520 00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:42,680 But it wasn't the Sarah that I remembered. 521 00:39:42,680 --> 00:39:44,480 It was an entirely different Sarah. 522 00:39:44,480 --> 00:39:47,120 I mean, same face, same everything. 523 00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:50,080 But this was a Sarah that didn't have McDonald's clothes on. 524 00:39:50,080 --> 00:39:52,360 And I'd never seen that before really. 525 00:39:52,360 --> 00:39:57,680 Like I said, I had seen it briefly when I stood outside of her apartment and intimidated 526 00:39:57,680 --> 00:39:59,600 her ex-boyfriend. 527 00:39:59,600 --> 00:40:05,280 But other than that, I had never seen her done up to go out and things like that. 528 00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:08,600 It was just not something that had ever crossed my mind that she would look different. 529 00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:12,040 I just always imagined her as a McDonald's employee. 530 00:40:12,040 --> 00:40:16,960 And so there she was and she had a friend with her and she sees me and she has this 531 00:40:16,960 --> 00:40:24,360 huge smile and she starts to tear up and I was shocked. 532 00:40:24,360 --> 00:40:27,480 I was like, Sarah? 533 00:40:27,480 --> 00:40:28,480 And she's like, yeah. 534 00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:33,400 And she comes up and she just throws her arms around me and gives me the big one of the 535 00:40:33,400 --> 00:40:36,640 biggest hugs I've ever had squeezes me till it hurt. 536 00:40:36,640 --> 00:40:37,640 And she said, I saw you. 537 00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:39,120 I didn't want to bother you. 538 00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:40,120 I'm like, it's okay. 539 00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:41,120 It's okay. 540 00:40:41,120 --> 00:40:42,120 How are you doing? 541 00:40:42,120 --> 00:40:45,000 You know, I'm trying to trying to small talk because it's weird. 542 00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:48,800 It was weird to see like when you have an interaction with somebody and the only way 543 00:40:48,800 --> 00:40:53,000 that you ever see them is in this one way and then you see them in an entirely different 544 00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:54,000 way. 545 00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:59,040 I mean, she had like a bunch of makeup on and she was all dressed up and she looked 546 00:40:59,040 --> 00:41:00,520 great. 547 00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:02,020 And it was shocking. 548 00:41:02,020 --> 00:41:07,560 Not that she could look great, but that she looked like she was really happy and healthy. 549 00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:13,280 And that was a departure from the way that we had started our friendship. 550 00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:20,160 And she said, I saw you and I had to tell you. 551 00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:23,540 And I said, I had to tell me what? 552 00:41:23,540 --> 00:41:26,480 And she's at this point in time, she's damn near bawling. 553 00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:29,400 I mean, she's having a hard time speaking. 554 00:41:29,400 --> 00:41:33,560 And she just says to me, you changed my life. 555 00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:36,560 I owe you everything. 556 00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:42,040 And I'm not gonna lie, I actually just get a little emotional thinking about it. 557 00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:50,800 She says, everything that you did, everything that you said changed everything in my life. 558 00:41:50,800 --> 00:41:52,880 My life is better because of you. 559 00:41:52,880 --> 00:41:55,040 And that's all she said. 560 00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:59,920 And she just sat there and hugged me and I didn't know what to say. 561 00:41:59,920 --> 00:42:05,840 I just, I was shocked and I just hugged her back. 562 00:42:05,840 --> 00:42:11,760 And I said, are you, this is one of those moments where you say the dumbest possible 563 00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:12,760 things. 564 00:42:12,760 --> 00:42:13,760 Are you here for the show? 565 00:42:13,760 --> 00:42:18,400 I mean, she's in the arena, like obviously had to take it to get in and I'm, are you 566 00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:19,400 here for the show? 567 00:42:19,400 --> 00:42:22,280 I just want to really, really stupid thing to say. 568 00:42:22,280 --> 00:42:24,560 But and she's like, yeah. 569 00:42:24,560 --> 00:42:26,960 And I was like, okay. 570 00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:34,640 And I just remember looking back and seeing my mom and she's got like this puzzle look 571 00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:40,240 on my face, but also was like, she was like freaked out, but also like, I don't know, 572 00:42:40,240 --> 00:42:41,240 proud to a certain degree. 573 00:42:41,240 --> 00:42:46,600 Like, I don't know if she'd even heard what Sarah had said to me, but she, she, I guess 574 00:42:46,600 --> 00:42:49,760 she just assumed that like, I don't know. 575 00:42:49,760 --> 00:42:55,960 I don't know what she assumed, but I thought at the time that she had this look of concern, 576 00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:58,000 but pride. 577 00:42:58,000 --> 00:43:01,960 And I don't, like I said, I don't, nothing else was really said. 578 00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:06,520 I, there's, there's nothing more to that part of it. 579 00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:13,520 But we go in, you know, I say, I say, okay, well, you know, just stay in contact or whatever. 580 00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:18,360 And we went to the show and I went and watched the show and she went and watched the show 581 00:43:18,360 --> 00:43:20,440 wherever she was sitting. 582 00:43:20,440 --> 00:43:22,880 I didn't follow up on it. 583 00:43:22,880 --> 00:43:23,880 And that was it. 584 00:43:23,880 --> 00:43:26,080 That was, that would, that would normally be the end of the story. 585 00:43:26,080 --> 00:43:34,240 And even that part of the story is, I believe enough to show, to, to evidence what small 586 00:43:34,240 --> 00:43:37,520 kindness and consideration can do. 587 00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:43,000 I really think that that would be a great end to the story, but that's not really the 588 00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:44,000 end of the story. 589 00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:52,920 And the end of the story is actually many, many, many years later, as in, uh, well, what's, 590 00:43:52,920 --> 00:43:54,240 what year is this? 591 00:43:54,240 --> 00:43:58,200 Uh, six years ago was 2016. 592 00:43:58,200 --> 00:44:03,120 Um, I get a message on Facebook, don't recognize the name. 593 00:44:03,120 --> 00:44:04,480 Don't know anything about it. 594 00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:06,880 Don't know who this person is. 595 00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:12,040 And I was like, oh, or did you, it just says, is this Daniel? 596 00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:13,640 I was like, yeah. 597 00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:16,400 Did you, do I know you? 598 00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:27,160 And the person, uh, which we will call, let's say Jessica, uh, the, the person, uh, Jessica 599 00:44:27,160 --> 00:44:29,760 says to me, you know, my mom. 600 00:44:29,760 --> 00:44:34,400 And I was like, oh, what, who's your mom? 601 00:44:34,400 --> 00:44:37,000 And she says, Sarah blank. 602 00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:39,800 I'm not going to say her last name. 603 00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:43,360 Uh, and I'm like, really? 604 00:44:43,360 --> 00:44:45,880 This is, I knew you when you were a baby. 605 00:44:45,880 --> 00:44:48,880 And she said, yeah, that's my mom. 606 00:44:48,880 --> 00:44:55,800 And she was telling me about you and how you changed her life. 607 00:44:55,800 --> 00:45:02,920 And I just wanted you to know that you didn't just change her life. 608 00:45:02,920 --> 00:45:04,400 You changed my life too. 609 00:45:04,400 --> 00:45:10,920 And I wanted to thank you because I wouldn't be where I am if it weren't for you. 610 00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:16,660 And so, uh, you know, the, the, the conversation went back and forth a few more times and come 611 00:45:16,660 --> 00:45:24,120 to find out that, uh, Sarah's daughter had grown up with her mom being a manager at a 612 00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:28,560 McDonald's, which never would have happened if I hadn't talked to her. 613 00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:34,520 And I, you know, we hadn't had the conversations that we'd had and ends up that she ended up 614 00:45:34,520 --> 00:45:35,520 going to college. 615 00:45:35,520 --> 00:45:41,480 And, uh, when I talked to her, she was working on, I think she was going to be a vet, some 616 00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:44,040 sort of, some sort of animal doctor. 617 00:45:44,040 --> 00:45:47,520 I don't know exactly what, uh, some sort of veterinarian. 618 00:45:47,520 --> 00:45:54,000 I don't know what her particular specialty was going to be, but, um, now I haven't, I 619 00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:57,480 haven't, I'm not going to say that there's like a big happy ending beyond that because 620 00:45:57,480 --> 00:45:59,520 I haven't really talked to her since then. 621 00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:01,080 Uh, maybe she'll hear this. 622 00:46:01,080 --> 00:46:05,240 Uh, maybe I'll post it, uh, if I can find that message again. 623 00:46:05,240 --> 00:46:11,040 But um, you know, this was a girl that was, you know, she, I think she was 20 something 624 00:46:11,040 --> 00:46:18,240 when she contacted me about her mother who was, uh, uh, a little bit older than me. 625 00:46:18,240 --> 00:46:21,800 So, um, but it, it stunned me. 626 00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:22,960 It completely floored me. 627 00:46:22,960 --> 00:46:24,720 I, I, I'm not going to lie to you. 628 00:46:24,720 --> 00:46:32,000 When I tell you that I, that was not a message that I ever could have expected or really 629 00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:33,760 even wanted for. 630 00:46:33,760 --> 00:46:40,960 I'm so happy and so proud that they were able to live a good life. 631 00:46:40,960 --> 00:46:48,720 And, uh, and who knows the effects that they're, they're living and the lives that they've 632 00:46:48,720 --> 00:46:55,040 affected and the lives that they've touched because of the, the positive energy that they're 633 00:46:55,040 --> 00:46:56,680 bringing. 634 00:46:56,680 --> 00:46:58,760 And I know that I had a part in that. 635 00:46:58,760 --> 00:47:05,760 I know that I, I helped create that energy that, that, that went through multiple lives 636 00:47:05,760 --> 00:47:08,480 and changed them for the better. 637 00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:16,640 And it was really then, it was, it was at that concert actually where I thought, wow, 638 00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:19,000 I didn't, I never thought I could do anything like that. 639 00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:25,000 I, I don't really tend to think of myself as being overly important throughout most of 640 00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:26,000 my life. 641 00:47:26,000 --> 00:47:34,560 So it, when stuff like that has happened, it has really, really left me with a, a feeling 642 00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:39,040 of pride and happiness, something that I can pull back on. 643 00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:46,080 And when, when I got to my deepest, darkest parts of my depression, I would often think 644 00:47:46,080 --> 00:47:53,520 about that story and that moment and all of the, the, the choices that I made, the small 645 00:47:53,520 --> 00:47:58,720 things that I would say and the, the careful considerations that I took when, when talking 646 00:47:58,720 --> 00:48:04,160 to her and dealing with her that would end up changing her life. 647 00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:07,360 And I'm extremely proud of it. 648 00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:11,160 But that's the end of the story so far. 649 00:48:11,160 --> 00:48:12,920 That's all I know. 650 00:48:12,920 --> 00:48:18,600 And I wanted to share that in this first episode because I think that it really does illustrate 651 00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:26,000 just how powerful each of us can be and each of us really are. 652 00:48:26,000 --> 00:48:27,800 A lot of people just don't know it. 653 00:48:27,800 --> 00:48:33,960 A lot of people just don't understand the effect that each and every single one of us 654 00:48:33,960 --> 00:48:39,720 can have on the people in our lives for good and for bad. 655 00:48:39,720 --> 00:48:44,160 And if you're gonna, if you're gonna be here, if you're gonna be on this planet, if you're 656 00:48:44,160 --> 00:48:49,120 gonna be trying to live with the rest of the people on this planet, then you might as well 657 00:48:49,120 --> 00:48:50,320 be good. 658 00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:55,600 You might as well try to bring as much light and positivity and love into the world as 659 00:48:55,600 --> 00:48:56,960 you possibly can. 660 00:48:56,960 --> 00:49:03,440 Now I'm gonna end the episode with a quote. 661 00:49:03,440 --> 00:49:12,880 A quote that has stuck with me since I was, I'd say probably 14. 662 00:49:12,880 --> 00:49:21,200 And it has haunted me and been an ever looming specter over my shoulder. 663 00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:25,000 And that quote is by Henry David Thoreau. 664 00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:31,320 And he once wrote, Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with 665 00:49:31,320 --> 00:49:33,880 the song still in them. 666 00:49:33,880 --> 00:49:40,600 I have lived many years of my life in quiet desperation. 667 00:49:40,600 --> 00:49:48,680 Despite the warning that I got when I was 14 and first read Walden, I have lived, I've 668 00:49:48,680 --> 00:49:53,600 lived out exactly what he speaks of in that quote. 669 00:49:53,600 --> 00:49:57,400 And I don't want to do that anymore. 670 00:49:57,400 --> 00:50:06,560 So from this point on, just like the little boy in that story, I'm going to make a promise. 671 00:50:06,560 --> 00:50:17,360 I promise to use everything that I can and everything at my disposal, which isn't much, 672 00:50:17,360 --> 00:50:21,280 but I'm gonna use every bit of power that I have in me to try to make this world a better 673 00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:22,280 place. 674 00:50:22,280 --> 00:50:29,760 And I'm going to try to help as many people as I can understand how beautiful and valuable 675 00:50:29,760 --> 00:50:33,320 they really are in the grand scheme of things. 676 00:50:33,320 --> 00:50:36,440 If you made it this far, I appreciate you. 677 00:50:36,440 --> 00:50:39,240 And I thank you for listening. 678 00:50:39,240 --> 00:50:44,360 The next episode will be up in a week, hopefully, from when you hear this. 679 00:50:44,360 --> 00:50:52,080 And we're going to be talking about the very basic concepts that come into play when you're 680 00:50:52,080 --> 00:50:54,600 trying to change your life. 681 00:50:54,600 --> 00:51:02,280 And the number one most important aspect is honesty and truth and understanding the value 682 00:51:02,280 --> 00:51:08,720 and the importance of being earnest and forthright with people and making sure that you are as 683 00:51:08,720 --> 00:51:11,880 authentic as possible in every way. 684 00:51:11,880 --> 00:51:16,040 So that's what we have coming up in a week. 685 00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:20,000 Thank you very much for slogging through this first episode as I'm trying to figure this 686 00:51:20,000 --> 00:51:21,000 all out. 687 00:51:21,000 --> 00:51:25,280 I promise you these episodes will get better as I get more comfortable. 688 00:51:25,280 --> 00:51:27,080 This is my first go. 689 00:51:27,080 --> 00:51:28,560 Thank you again. 690 00:51:28,560 --> 00:51:52,040 And I want you all to have a very, very good day.