Sylina, welcome to the show.
Thank you. So happy to be here. I'm excited.
I'm excited too. You just told me before we got on that this is your first ever podcast episode coming on as a guest, which I'm very surprised.
But I was I've been wanting to do this for like a long time, a year or so.
I've been like, who's Aaron's vibrational match?
Yeah, he's the one, you know, on camera the most.
But I wonder who she is.
And so now we get to explore that.
Now, you had a post on 4DU you that briefly described your background.
And I really want to get to know who you are and basically share your story with the audience.
I want to just get into pre spiritual awakening.
You said it's been roughly it's roughly three years now, right, since you've conceptually awakened to all this stuff.
I think, yeah. Yeah.
But you had the spiritual side, but unconsciously, could you describe how it was growing up your background while having a sense of being an outsider like you've described?
And having all these experiences that would break most people.
But with you, you seem to handle it with so much poise, maturity and wisdom that's beyond your years.
How old are you?
Twenty six.
You just turned. Yeah, you just turned 26.
It's beyond impressive to me.
And I just want to get your perspective both take me through it real time growing up and, you know, looking back in hindsight as well.
Right. How has life unfolded for you up until now?
This moment? Yeah.
Oh, it's a long story, but I'll go for it.
They got the synopsis is well, I think a lot of people can resonate to my story as life is Sylina.
You know, it's definitely not a unique one, but I just realized from a young age that I wasn't reacting to life the same way other people were.
And especially my family, I grew up in a really chaotic household.
My mom got remarried when I was one and my dad was off playing baseball professionally, so he wasn't around very much.
And I had a stepdad from one years old to 12 years old.
And it was just a really abusive household.
It would kind of flip flop.
Most abusive households do sometimes it would get really intense and really scary.
You know, I'll flip the switch and then the next day, you know, it's rainbows and butterflies and the day before never happened.
But I think those those experiences allowed me to look really closely at life and, you know, looking for cues of the environment, what the environment is telling me and preparing me.
This is like trauma training.
It's like as a child of, you know, reading the room, seeing what can come next and how I can be involved and how I'm co-creating that experience.
And obviously, I didn't think in those terms back then, but in hindsight, that's kind of what I connected.
But yeah, just a lot of violence, sexual, physical abuse from my stepdad.
You know, we we kind of had a good in that in that life, you can say. I mean, we're like middle class, but we came from a lot less than that.
So we felt like we're high rolling.
We had a four bedroom house and that was like the biggest house in our town, which only had one stoplight or stop sign.
And it was on wheels. So I'm talking BFE Iowa, a very small town.
But I think my mom's in that relationship out of fear because she didn't know maybe she didn't know how she could have supported my sister and I in that house.
We're sorry if we were to leave.
So there are many times where, you know, something would happen at night.
Maybe my stepdad would get drunk or he would just get angry out of nowhere and things would escalate.
And we would try to run away and escape to my mom's car.
And it would just be the luck of luck of the job.
Who could lock the door faster than he could pull it open?
And a lot of the times we just weren't quick enough. So that was kind of like our way of escaping.
But we never we did it for 14 years.
And oddly enough, we will back up a little bit in those experiences when like my stepdad would be getting really aggressive.
Something would happen in my awareness as a kid as he would be so rageful and violent.
I saw something in him that didn't make sense to me with what actions that were coming out of him.
And I later kind of pieced together that I saw some sort of innocent deep inside him.
And that I think that was the leading element that allowed me to forgive.
Like, you know, the day after when we're supposed to forget and forgive and forget,
I would literally find peace with the experiences because I saw something in him that was pure.
And I didn't understand it, but I saw him have a sense of sadness as well.
And so I think that drew sympathy out of me as a kid.
But of course, I didn't all it was was feelings that I didn't really have the conceptual understanding or knowledge of what those things meant.
So fast forward, you know, it's very chaotic for those 14 years.
No one on the outside world knew anything about our life on the inside.
My sister, my mom and I never spoken about it at all during this 14 year.
And it's kind of just like things are happening.
We're aware that this is happening. But, you know, your parents lead by example, right?
Like they're supposed to come to you and talk to you and ask you how you're feeling.
That just didn't happen. So when I was 14, we finally left and it was in the dead of the night.
An event had happened and it was just kind of the last straw.
And we were able to get to the car and lock the doors before he could grab the door handle.
And we went to a friend of my mom's house and that's where we stayed.
And the only time I saw him, I saw him one more time after that, I was home alone in this like safe house, you can call it.
I have no idea how he found our address, but I was home alone and I was playing with my BB gun out in the backyard.
And we had like a longer driveway. I could hear a car coming up the driveway.
And I looked over and he has like this, you can't miss it. It's like a yellow, bright yellow truck.
And in our small town, small area, we're about 30 minutes away from that town at this point.
Everyone knew that was his truck. So right away, I like ducked behind these half dead bushes and like, oh my gosh, he's going to see me.
But I tried to hide. And that's what I've always done growing up.
I would always hide in cabinets, hide under beds, hide under his bed because he would never think to look there, hide in all these different places.
But I think he saw me that time. And as I was laying there with my BB gun, I was trying to think of, you know, and what would I do?
What's my next move? Where could I go?
And I was thinking about going and running into the forest and then he stopped his truck and stayed there for just a few minutes.
And then he slowly backed out. And that was the last time I saw him. I was like 14 and a half, 15 ish.
Yeah, after after those experiences, I always felt that, well, I'll know. There's one thing that my real dad always said to me growing up.
You can only control what you can control. And although that's kind of like a roundabout way of thing, you know, you're responsible for what you feel.
And that's I guess that's what I interpret it to be. And whenever I was reflecting on those really intense experiences as a kid, as we're, you know, we're moved out, we're moving on with life, with school and just, you know, trying to get back into society.
I would feel this type of like remorse or, you know, doing one of these, like always looking over my shoulder.
And it's never I didn't I didn't like that. Obviously, like, you know, you don't like feeling heavy, intense, scary emotions. And so I just thought, I don't want to feel this anymore.
So I've got to really forgive him for what he for what he did. And remember the innocence that I saw in him.
And so, you know, I was probably my mid teens, 15, 16, 17. I really sat with those things. And it turned out for my mom later that she shared with us that he was abused by his stepdad.
And so it kind of all started making sense to me of like, Oh, that's what I saw. I kind of confirmed what the feelings, the feelings that I was thinking.
I guess a sense of validation to of my intuition at that point in my life.
And so I felt good about that. I didn't really the support from my mom or my sister in like sharing how I felt or, you know, being hurt in my emotions and my experiences.
And so many times, so many times throughout my childhood, I would come to them to share experiences with them or what what happened to me how I was feeling.
And I was just never believed. No one would believe me. And so, and so it's like, okay, I am truly responsible for my own feelings because I, I don't have the support around me.
It's been made clear that I'm not supposed to bring this out to other adults. So I got to find some peace within me.
And that's what I did. We didn't grow up Christian and I guess like intensely Christian. I had Catholic member or family members.
I'll be able to go to church regularly. It was my senior year. We had this group in my school.
I think it was called like Christian athletes or something. I played a bunch of sports. So every morning at like 6 a.m. before school, after morning practice, I would go into the art room and our art teacher would host, you know, a group of six of us who were curious about God.
And, you know, I came with all these questions. At first I was like, this is not for me. I think I'm going straight to hell because I am my life is a sin.
So, yeah, it's it's so so funny.
Though I guess from there I kind of like picking shows like okay so I definitely sinning a fuck ton and but my art teacher saying I'm not going to go to hell.
So like this isn't making sense. Isn't art the rules rules? But anyways, so fast forward, I get to college and I try to go to a Catholic church in college and it's just it's not my vibe.
And so I kind of slipped out of that spirit and more into my own spirit at the time. Didn't get super involved yet until I was later like around 20.
Yeah, at that time, just to catch back up to speed, still have not spoken to my mom and my sister about anything that's happened.
And it's just kind of like a blimp in our life. At this point, she had moved to Texas to start a new job.
I was still and actually this was when I was in high school. I was still in high school. My sister was in college. And there was like a year or so that I was maybe six months that I was living by myself.
My dad was just retiring from baseball and he was getting into what his career would be now.
And he was living in Des Moines at the time, which is about two hours away from where I was living.
So initially I moved to this little cabin that we had by the lake. That was my stepdad's and I lived in it and rode my motorcycle to school and to practice 45 minutes back and forth until they still got the divorce.
And then I moved over to this little apartment above a bakery and lived there for a while until my dad would like drive down and back whenever he could to visit until he could find his own place. But all I had to say, a lot of bouncing around in high school.
So college, it's not much to say it wasn't very like eventful like most college experiences are I feel like. I played volleyball and I soon switched to online school.
My sister, I went to Iowa. My sister went to Iowa State when I was a freshman. My sister was going through a really tough breakup and she called me at the end of my first semester and asked if I could move to her.
And I said, yeah, so I dropped out of college. I didn't tell anyone. I went over and stayed in her room and her tiny little college house.
And then two weeks later, we decided that we were going to move to Texas.
So all that to say is a lot a lot of bouncing around in that time. I ended up finishing school online is you, which is kind of an alignment with where we are with the Christian story.
So after being in Texas for a while, I lived in the Dallas area. I met my previous boyfriend and we were together for a few years.
We took a random trip out to Colorado. I really liked it. We came back and I wasn't liking our relationship.
And I basically told him I was going to move to Colorado. And he said he wants to come with me.
So he moved and we lost him about like two months later. But I didn't know anybody and I don't have any family out there.
I just felt really drawn to the beauty of Colorado and from Iowa. All we have is corn and cows and pastors.
There's nothing taller than a house, at least from where I grew up. We didn't have, you know, three story buildings.
And so I was just so infatuated with it. And the only way I knew how to connect to community was through sports and through churches, because that's where a lot of people gather.
So I found a church called New Life and I found out they had a women's group. I started going a bunch and they just they had such amazing worship.
So I really got into worship. I just love feeling so connected to God in my body. And the sermons were good.
I just kind of picked and waited out things that made sense to me. I still didn't the health thing didn't make sense.
And I just couldn't wrap my head around all these other elements of like the scolding pieces here and there.
But I just loved worshiping God. And I really felt his presence in me and around me every time I did that.
So that's kind of what hooked me into my initial spiritual awakening of being alone and just like devoting my life to worship.
And at that time in my life, I would annually try to reconnect with my mom.
I think she was well, I know she was having a really hard time herself with her own experiences of life.
You know, her her first husband, she had on her her second husband was super abusive and all these all these huge traumas that were just kind of she was lugging around,
you know, feeling like she failed as a mother. I don't know what else was coming up for her.
But I so badly wanted to be seen and felt by a mom.
So anyways, annually, I would try to reach out to her and connect. And it just would never really work out.
But that really kind of helped me be like, you know what, it's it's OK. I don't need to have in my life.
I can see that she's hurting, too, just like he was.
She's hurting in her own way. And I want to show her that I will always love her no matter what.
And I'll be here whenever she wants to come talk. I say in that way.
But it was very hurtful for me as, you know, a 19 year old, 20 year old kid who was just throwed a straw and just like, ah, I need a strong female presence in my life.
So I didn't have anybody. And so that kind of sent me into a healing spiral of sorts of I'm alone.
I you know, my family is distant. I have little bubbles of past memories and feelings and all that coming up.
And all I know is the presence of God and worshiping and surrendering.
And that really, really helped me be able to fully surrender and just be like, all right, people say that you can heal all things.
I'm I'm surrendered to you and I'm open and I'm I'm ready to be shown how to do this.
So that was a full year and a half, two years of just relentless what we call now inquiry, what I know now, but just really dissecting every part of my heart and how I feel and, you know, asking, is it true in a different way?
And I found so much peace from that and I really didn't need the validation of my family.
They came around eventually and, you know, they started asking how I was doing and.
You know, what's changed? You're different, but they with me respecting their time and their process.
I was also respecting mine and kind of inviting them to do the same for me. And yeah, so after that, I felt a lot of peace and love with my childhood.
My stepdad actually came to me in a dream shortly after that, you know, couple year period.
And it was actually my it was so beautiful. My dream life is is really active, but we were sitting in a bench in front of our old house.
And it was there's no bench there in real life, but we were sitting there in a bench and my sister came along and she saw him and she was frightened by him.
And she ran into this other building, but I stayed there and I looked at him and he looked like an you know, if you can imagine like an old man in a park who's just feeding pigeons and he's just so content, soft and sweet.
He looked like that in my dream. And I looked at him and I said something like, I want you to know that I forgive you for everything.
It's not your fault and other things. And he just looked at me and like he had tears in his eyes.
But he said, I'm sorry, I love you. And right when we had that moment, my my heart felt opened and there is all this beautiful like crystallized glacier water that just kind of like poured in between our bench and our old house.
And it was just so beautiful. And I felt like that was kind of like a cleansing representation of my childhood or that karma or that catalyst.
Like everything was flowing so beautifully. And it was very clear to me now that him and I had some sort of a connection deeper than just my abusive stepdad.
And I was just a you know, a victim as a child. We had something karmically that felt like it was all perfect.
And I feel like we did a good job working through that together. But shortly after that, I felt so I felt so connected to myself and I felt so ready for my life partner.
And I felt like I knew exactly what I wanted in a life partner is very confident in that. Of course, I had trial and error relationship relationships before that manifested out of these things that weren't healed for me.
You know, for from my abusive childhood, those attachments that come up of, you know, love me, love me or see me hear me like all those things came up in previous relationships that were also very nurturing and taught me something.
So at this time, I just started praying at night and sitting with God and just saying exactly what I wanted in my future husband in the future.
Father my children, and about six months later, I got a DM from Aaron. I've never heard him hit in my life. I haven't heard of the law one or ACM I heard of anything I barely knew what the shockers were.
And I only knew what the name of them was. I didn't know how many were.
So yeah, I feel like it was just kind of like a full circle experience that led me to that point of being blessed with a partner like Aaron that really reflected how I felt inside.
But yeah, that's, that's a very short story. I think I skipped over a lot, but I think that summarizes who we call Sylina.
You, there was a couple moments in there that you basically described recognizing your stepdad, your mom, your sister, and in a more expanded context.
And that's that recontextualization is that peace of mind that we gain. So when you looked at your dad, you saw that hurt side and your mom.
She had her own issues, you were aware of her past that she didn't operate in a vacuum.
And that's what gave you grace, right. And you were doing this, even before you knew what you were really doing.
But there's from that stems the peace of mind. And I've had similar moments like that in a similar age. I too have a had a abusive household in its own way.
My dad was also, you know, tyrannical. He was more of an emotional abuser with my mom and my older brother.
And I was caught in the crossfires of it. And it took a while, definitely imprinted a lot on me.
But I can recognize when you're describing your stepfather, your family, that the moment of healing took place is when a different context is kind of became embedded within you.
And you literally saw a situation in a brand new light. And that's what we call healing. Right. So it's beautiful. I resonate a lot.
I can. There was a couple of moments where I was like, yeah, I get it. And it was amazing to hear.
And this is the perfect segue because this is you described the very dense, I'm sure childhood, a lot of things happened.
But now we go into the second chapter where you felt like an outsider your whole life. You know, a lot of things were odd.
I don't know how you were like socially, but I guess I'm sure meeting Aaron that time was the first time in your life where you felt at home, where your whole life started to make sense.
You find another another layer of peace, another layer of joy. How did your relationship, your union with him, you meeting him, move your life forward into this new chapter you call spiritual awakening?
Yeah, I. Well, as everyone else feels, you feel such a sense of peace and opening with Aaron.
And he he was never he never like laid down the scroll of this is what I do. And here's all here's all the definitions of all law.
I just came with questions. I don't look at any of his like content or anything before we connected.
I I just wanted to hear from him. And so we were deep in conversation all the time before we actually met.
But, you know, as I started learning things here and there, I just started asking a lot of questions of what are the chakras?
Or I think he asked me the question first in some conversation, I think it was on our first date.
And he was like, do you know what the the chakras are? And I was like, I think so.
And he was like, OK, good. So then he went into like the densities and talked all about that.
And so I was just kind of absorbing. And that's just kind of been that was our relationship for the first six months of him.
Me asking questions and adding adding my tidbit of like, is it kind of like this?
And, you know, him being the wonderful teacher that he is, he absolutely loved it.
We were able to connect on a lot of different a lot of different levels.
And he helped me understand more about my past. And, you know, I feel like I experienced life as complete feminine, like feeling nothing has label.
Like it doesn't mean anything. Low key I.S. is the I.M.
And I just felt everything he reflected to me like, OK, well, that might mean this and this could be tied to that.
So it was very clear to me that my stepdad and I had some sort of a soul tie in this life and or some some sort of agreement in this life.
I need to experience profound forgiveness in this life.
At least that's what I feel like my biggest catalyst was when I was a kid.
And I think that's what he gifted me with those through those experiences.
And Aaron just kind of helped tie the labels together for me and kind of point me to different modalities.
That just added more clarity and it just felt really good.
Yeah. So with with your relationship with Aaron, you'll have what we call a conscious partnership, right, where it's it's radically different than a traditional relationship.
And I want to say, since you're in front of me right now, I've I'm a theme of mine in this reincarnation is definitely I tend to attach easily.
I will, you know, settle for someone that's incompatible and not like a 100 percent resonant. Yes. But, you know, hearing what y'all's relationship is like from people, you know, various people I hear hear from.
Y'all have introduced me to a type of relationship that I've never heard of. But at the same time, it's so inspiring and it makes me want to up my standards, not to like the cutthroat, but to be loving to both myself and that future partner.
Because if I'm not that person who I want to want to be together, like if I'm not that match first, then I'm going to lose them. And if they're not that match for me, I'm just harming myself being in an incompatible relationship like oil and water.
But how has it been in that different paradigm of conscious relationship, holy relationship versus special? What makes your relationship different than like you said, you know, love me, validate me, all that extra stuff that we all struggle with.
Right. What makes y'all love stick so well and resonant, but at the same time, attachmentless, you know, there's a fine paradox. You guys walk. So how have you all developed that and how do you all do it?
Yeah, I well, you know, I think we, we developed that before we met each other by allowing ourselves to be led into the relationships that were painful and special.
You know, I, I've done it so many times myself and I see my friends do it too. No matter what we think we want in a relationship, we will always go find a relationship that we need to experience something like an attachment, an attachment catalyst or, you know, a lack of self love catalyst.
Like we find relationships that mirror those catalysts to the T and I've had some super painful relationships that really dug in there to those distortions in me from my past that were super, super painful, just like everyone else has had these relationships too.
And I, you know, it was foggy for a while because the pain was so, you know, it dug down so deep and brought it up to the surface. Everything was fogging. It didn't make sense. All I knew I was in pain and I had an attachment to that person, but it wasn't until like, thank goodness, you know, he didn't come after me and want me back and I didn't come after him.
Otherwise, I don't know what would have happened back then, but after the pain subsided, I realized that was the biggest blessing ever because I don't want to feel like I need something outside of myself to be happy.
I want to feel fulfilled. I want to love myself as much as I love that person and I need to figure out how to do that because also I don't want someone to be so attached to me like that just doesn't feel good on the receiving end. So like, I got to figure this out.
And Aaron had the same experience with the past relationship as well.
Deep attachment.
All the same stuff. So I think for me it was in that couple year period where I was like, I need to, I need to figure something out. I need to go inside me and just be present with what's left because I don't want to feel these things anymore.
I want to feel good. I want to feel full of love.
So whenever we came together and it just felt so aligned and we were, it was so funny because we were like, thank God we did the work before because this is fucking awesome.
Being able to just have fun and go deep and no doubt there's still challenges that come up because we're two individuals that have completely, you know, different ways of thinking. But the part of a conscious partnership that really stands out to me is the immense devotion that you have to God and to your own spiritual growth.
And that demands the same devotion to your partner and the amount of surrender that has to happen, which is 100% by the way.
And, and humility that comes with it of you've really got to be devoted to show me what's left.
Show me what else I can heal to, you know, basically are just mirrors to each other and it takes, it's hard. You got to swallow some pride and whatever ego comes up.
You have to learn to love it and be grateful for it to come up because you sure don't want it to be down there.
And that was a learning experience in the beginning of our relationship as we were kind of both experiencing a conscious partnership together for the first time.
All patterns still kind of die hard. So in the, in the first year, our arguments were kind of sloppy of like, you know, we're trying to be loving and present but like, oh, the ego is taking us and now we're like getting lost in our story and wanting to be right.
And then, okay, now we're back. So it took some practice. And I think for us, it was the constant communication and ownership and, and where we were hurtful and our intention of being more loving.
I love expressing, like, I understand that I was not loving in this situation and this is my intention moving forward. I want to work on this element that I still feel is inside myself because I want to show up better for you as my divine partner and also for myself in my growth.
So I think that's one of the biggest things in a conscious partnership is true selflessness and just unconditional love with the sandwich of wisdom, which is so hard for I feel like feminine, we dominant, feminine dominant women were so like loving and flowing and like feeling based.
But unconditional love can really get.
I don't know, it can, it can lose track of where it's going, or what's truly needed without that wisdom piece, and that was a true gift from Aaron of show me what the wisdom piece looked like.
Because I never had the archetype in my life before so is very different, but still helpful and I think needed in a conscious partnership.
How have you reflected so he's reflected the masculine wisdom to you.
How have you reflected the feminine back to him, because I'm sure that there's that been that exchange. How has he learned from you in your unique polarity configuration.
Yeah, I think, you know, energetically, the feminine is just so go with the flow and can be anywhere all at once multitasking, all that.
The masculine is very direct. So I feel like we can learn a lot from each other and for. I think my gift to Aaron and being an embodied feminine polarity for him would be allowing him to know like, it's okay to go with the flow.
He's always present no matter what obstacles in the straight and narrow of, you know, the masculine vision was what's to do what needs to be done.
I think I just help him still have fun and play more and not take life so seriously and be a weirdo in serious times and, you know, not to not get caught up so much in the tasks, as we all know, you know, our lives are very busy.
So I think that's just kind of a fun dynamic and our polarity that God just gifted us.
That's that's really funny.
I want to transition into something I heard Aaron say on Jeremy's most recent interview with him, where y'all apparently well it's backtrack a little bit from what you described in your childhood, you brigade your stepfather for all the abuse that took place in y'all's household.
You saw the, you saw the darkness that came from hurt. And you didn't want to bear that resentment inside of you yourself because you recognized.
I take that on not anyone else right.
But Aaron mentioned that you guys had a catalyst where I guess another layer of it was brought up to you.
I don't want to share that deeper layer, right, because I experienced this myself where you I had that somatic release. Oh yeah I forgive my family.
But then there was another.
There, I recognize there was another piece of resistance to going all the way with all the love, my love kind of kept, you know.
What was that layer for you what was it like.
What took place, how did it reflect back to you so you heal that trauma in a, in a deeper way than you originally had thought.
Yeah, great question.
If I remember correctly.
I will in the light of our busy lives.
We are pretty much glued to our offices, 12 hours a day from 9am to 9pm we are working.
And for someone who just is super sensual and just loves connection. I have thought this need this desire and need come up for me of, I need more time with Aaron, and I need more of his attention.
And there would be parts of me that would get frustrated whenever we would, you know, alone time or intimate time on the couch just hanging out.
And intimate time is no electronics. And I would get something would come up for me like some anger or jealousy, whenever he would have to like go on his computer or his phone, and I would just want like, like, no, I, you give enough to our, to our work and
our, let's, oh my gosh, I just want to turn like throw all these screens and the dumpster and at first it felt righteous, because I felt like I deserved x y z and, you know, I was entitled to x y z.
And there's other reasons that we can say, yeah, that would make sense. But the true deeper cause of that suffering for me was still rooted in.
Something outside of me to be satisfied. And it didn't come up right away that that realization, oh, I'm all good. It's, it's still like distortion still something coming up for my childhood of needing something.
And I just needed to surrender that to and be okay with exactly what life is giving me in this moment, all the time. And I just took up a new extended hobby of really long baths whenever I felt like I was in need, and that self.
Love that I was giving myself was just like, filling that cup. I was like, oh, look at that. I'm just pointing the arrow at whatever I think is going to satisfy me and I would always put it on on Aaron, when in reality, I just feel a lack of love within myself.
So through, you know, different conversations of me trying to express myself, this is how I feel. And I think this is due to that if we can only do this that relationship, I would feel more connected, we can go deeper, blah, blah, blah, blah.
But his, you know, dance on.
No, we don't need to do that we spend, we live together we work in the same underneath the same roof all the time and you know that one is like, no, but touch me.
No, it was kind of like, we're so fire and water and it's it's so perfect for what we both need. And that's exactly what I needed in that moment of just a brick wall of.
No, that's not what you need. And at first I was like, fuck. I do want that, I think. But afterwards, it felt so much more fulfilling and gratifying, not getting the thing that I thought I needed, but actually nourishing myself in a much deeper way and being
present with those feelings that were controlling my mind that I was identifying with. And I thought were true and just realizing having the awareness of, oh my god, that wasn't true.
It felt like ecstasy. And it's crazy because once you continue to go deeper and deeper into a conscious partnership and surrender everything you have and devote everything you have and try to be as transparent open book as you can be those tiny little things
become more microscopic and harder to catch.
I feel like that just goes with your spiritual abolition too, but it it's been a true blessing being able to mirror each other back in such a unique way and always knowing that I will honor that for Aaron for what he needs.
And from what I see and he will always honor that from what he sees that I needed that moment.
That's beautiful. I can extract wisdom from y'all's relationships all day, if I could. But I'm sure there's so much to be gleaned from you guys sharing your experiences with one another from one another, separately together.
Yeah, it is a mirror. There's there's so much to be learned. So much nuance and it probably never ends, you know, maybe it gets even to the tiniest details like you mentioned the more subtler, it feels just as fruitful, I bet.
Each time. Yeah. So, I would keep jamming on that but we don't have all day. So, I want to touch on a couple spiritual topics that you your perspective on them.
Basically, and one I feel that you would be that I've always wanted to ask you actually is embodiment. There's a in the spiritual space.
There seems to be theme catalytic themes and my personal experience with talking to other friends who are on the spiritual path.
There is a lot of what I would call oscillation fits and bouts of enthusiasm on the path, but there's not a lot of true dedication.
They still have a lot of attachments and resistances in the world.
And what I found it to be the difference is embodiment, meaning you practice what you preach you apply yourself, you are devoted 100% to living the spiritual principles that come with this polarity right.
That is a difference between an advanced spiritual seeker versus a spiritual ego that's just refined in its mental content that seems spiritual.
That's the substance that embodiment brings to someone.
So, could you speak on if someone were to struggle with embodiment, how would you articulate it to them?
How would you explain it to them in a way that they could apply it? What the benefits are and how it truly is the rocket fuel for integrated spiritual evolution?
Hmm. Well, I would ask them to really tune into their desire of how bad do they want immense euphoria all the time?
How bad do you want bliss to be your only state of being that you feel?
And I feel, well, obviously that's emotion based for me because that's what my driver was of what do I want to feel like and how do I get there?
And what is in me and what are the conditioning patterns that are cycling through me that are stopping me or limiting me and making it tough for me to get to that destination or that in desire?
So, I would just say, break through your inner world and really find out what are the core beliefs that still anchor me in this place.
And you can have all the spiritual knowledge in the world, all the desires in the world of this is who I am, this is what I want to be.
And you can stay all of that, give it lip service all day long, but you have got to find a way to let your heart lead and not your mind.
That's my opinion. And if you find your heart, if you find that your heart is leading the way, it will be so much easier, I feel like,
than letting your mind lead the way of conceptualizing your way through all these traumatic obstacles in your life.
You really have to tune in and release all those fears and attachments or whatever the blockages are.
And I feel like stepping into embodiment comes that much easier when you're living from your heart space
and just devoting yourself to the present moment and to healing, not obsessing over healing and just going in the cycle of,
I can't do anything until I heal all these things, but just whatever is coming up for you right now,
just always making it a habit of loving it every single time. If it's a negative thought or a negative feeling, don't just brush it away.
And I mean, Aaron talks about this a lot too now, but just don't brush those things away.
Sit with them and love them and accept them and see if you want, see what they're pointing to in your past.
If you need to, you know, find forgiveness or acceptance or whatever it is, you could take that journey by following your emotional cues.
If you want, I feel like if you do that, embodiment is so much easier because you don't have to do all these like mental gymnastics all the time of figuring out,
what does this mean? I think this goes to that little document over there like this book says that over here and blah, blah, blah, blah.
Well, you got to feel it, hon. You got to fit in the stuff and stop trying to do so much, but be.
And then you could embody so much.
Nice. That was a nice ending there. Be, embody.
Makes sense. God wrote it.
Yeah, embodiment, I feel like is the missing factor for those kind of people because sometimes, you know, their hearts are just so closed off that all they can do is, you know, utilize their mind.
Right. And then to open it up, you do have to just sometimes feel and it is arguably you take 99 percent of people and you sit them down and you say, just feel and that unease that comes up.
It's like the hardest thing to do for most, you know, facing that darkness, but that darkness does thrive in darkness.
Right. So the spiritual journey is just realizing, huh, it's a counterintuitive move to just feel and let that paradoxically release.
And that's insight that needs to be organic. So, yeah, well said, Sylina.
That's the feminine, what you just described, feminine power. But like you said, feminine on its own can get, you know, erratic, lacks direction.
And when it works with masculine, that's where the magic kind of happens.
So an aspect of masculinity, I want to ask you about is authenticity to move on to the masculine. Because you felt like an outsider your whole life.
I don't know if you felt like an authentic like in that feeling of an outsider, were you true to yourself still?
Or was that more of an evolution post spiritual awakening? Does that make sense?
Yeah, I was I was always me. I feel like I was definitely an outsider.
I was always in a tree somewhere or, you know, whenever I wasn't playing with my sports team, I was like, I don't know, like, in dirt running through the field, just doing something.
But I never really clicked with groups. And but I feel like if I could have if I wanted to, I just didn't really.
It didn't make sense to me. I didn't click in that click. So I was an outsider, but I was an authentic outsider.
Nice. Awesome. So how how did you because right now it's a catalyst that I am and I'm sure countless of seekers are chasing or are struggling with where their inner orientation doesn't match their everyday social circles and social situations.
It's a beautiful mirror. It'll bring out everything like you said. How did you stay true to yourself even pre spiritual awakening?
How do you hone it post spiritual awakening?
Yeah, I definitely didn't nail it. I would say, you know, I felt like as most people probably do when they feel this inner confliction of I'm I don't have any friends. I don't have anywhere I belong.
I don't have a home and I want to I want all of those things, but I don't have it. What's wrong with me or why? Why? Why? That's what I definitely felt before.
That's that's what I felt immensely before I went into that couple year period of going deep.
But interesting enough, it came back up for me after Aaron and I met the first year and a half of our relationship.
Naturally, you know, friends started falling away and I let them and just noticed myself.
Actually, I think it was like the first two years of relationship. I was isolated again. And at first I had resistance to it.
Like, oh my God, no, I just got all these friends and I felt like, you know, I felt so good to have all these people I could talk to and, you know, connect on and blah, blah, blah.
I want friends. All I do is stay in this cave of a house all day and blah, blah, blah. But it was funny when the dots started to connect again of, oh, I'm meant to go within right now.
I'm meant to be isolated right now. This isn't a mistake. I don't need to find other friends, although there's beautiful people out there.
They will be right there waiting for me when that connection is aligned and when I'm meant to connect with them.
And it was still a tough couple of years. I had that inner knowing of I'm with me right now. I'm pouring into myself right now.
I meant to go deeper and who knows where we're going to go. But I'm here for it and I'm here to be led.
I still had the connection or the desire to connect, but I just kind of put it on the billboard with the tack.
I'm like, OK, we're just going to hang that up for now and it's going to be useful.
I'm going to be present with me right now of where I'm being led.
So I think it's helpful for those who feel isolated on their spiritual journey, who want connection, but kind of feel like an outsider,
but maybe an introvert, maybe an introverted extrovert, whatever. All that's so normal.
And whenever you notice that you're going into a season of, you know, your friends are parting,
just be so grateful for what those friendships are serving you during that time.
And just like relationships or romantic relationships, you're not meant to be attached.
Don't be attached to friendships either, although they could be beautiful and there's something wrong with them.
It's their time has come and they've served. You've served each other in the way that you're meant to serve and lovingly let go.
And that's unconditional love with wisdom, baby, in the works.
And just have the peace of mind and the love in your heart to know for certain.
You don't have to do a single thing, but for it to yourself and continue to be devoted to your own growth.
And God will align those friendships in your life again, exactly when they're meant to come.
And I'm so glad I stayed devoted to the path.
And it was a couple of years of isolation for myself.
And then beautiful friendships poured in and they went.
They were so deep, so nourishing. And I had like tears of joy because I was like,
yeah, this is better than what I could have imagined.
And this is what it's supposed to be like when you surrender to what God is asking of you.
Always. You are always going to be delivered with immense beauty on the other side.
Yeah, you're on the other side of what I feel like I'm on the cusp of a huge level up in my friends friendship circle.
Like you said, I'm grateful for the companionship that my current friends do provide me.
But and if they're listening to this, I'm sorry.
But you know, sometimes they're just as I've changed, as I've evolved, the overlap becomes less and less.
And I kind of revert back to who I was in order to make that overlap good enough for the friendship to be maintained.
But I don't know. These days, it's not.
It doesn't feel worth it to me to continue that. And through this podcast, through our community,
I've met a lot of potential amazing friendships to be had.
So I'm looking forward to how that feels on the other side. Amazing.
And yeah, you're doing those current friends or past friends such a huge service to you because they probably won't like hanging out with you.
You're going because if they're not aligned, it's not aligned for both people.
It's not like aligned with you and you're just kind of breaking up with them.
It will also become disinteresting to them or they'll realize they have some attachments and that could be super insightful.
So it's like it's such a gift all around. Yeah. You point out the reciprocity, the mutuality.
There's no like I win. I'm evolving into a butterfly.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah, there's nothing like that.
So, you know, evolution is friendly to all everyone where you're at on the scale.
So on a move on to you guys are very busy, like you said, nine to nine, six to seven days a week.
We all know what Aaron does. Well, we see what Aaron does.
But what do you currently do in your cooperation's of running for the university?
Was there some developments that you could share? What is the direction that 4D University 4DU your project, your company is going?
And what does that look like? That takes up all that time.
Yeah. Yeah. You guys see all the beautiful masterpieces that Aaron dishes out all the time on YouTube, all this content.
That's 100 percent him. I'm kind of the vessel of organizing it into the world, you know, creating the courses on their app, developing different things.
The app on the Web site, all the Web site updates.
He comes up with I mean, he just gets so many downloads all the fucking time in my this thing is like full.
So I'm just like, you know, we'll put on the docket. What's what's fires you up most right now?
OK, that's going to be on the top of the list.
So I kind of. And as a feminine does create from his divine inspiration, so I'll do everything you see on 40.
I've created that. I love organizing so much and I love seeing things come together and creating things super tech savvy.
So I find so much joy going on the back end of things.
I used to work in marketing at Snapchat before we launched for you.
I quit my job to work on for you back in July of last year.
But yeah, it's so hard to put a label on it.
But as we've our first year, we were completely solo, just him and I same dynamic of what I just expressed.
But it was too much because I was then having to do his social media of, you know, getting posts on scheduling them.
And it's just a lot for me. But I notice burned burnout would come of I have I the first four hours a day.
I'm like, fuck yeah, this is awesome. I love it.
So fulfilling. And then I'm looking at the clock and like, I forgot to eat dinner again.
And I'm getting burnt out. We're like, we need a different system and we're not growing.
You know, we need to get the for you out there.
And let's see if we can actually make this a thriving global community as our initial intention was for it.
So we started putting out the intention for team members to come help out our first big thing with social media.
So that's what our first hire was for team members.
And it was one of Aaron's old business partners with his original master class.
So that was just this awesome fit. And then we quickly expanded to eight team members.
I feel like it was overnight. But that's kind of my umbrella.
You can call it now. I I love helping people so much.
And I love seeing things that can seemingly be complicated, just work so efficiently.
I can scream off a rooftop of excitement of how much I love that.
So I really enjoy getting like birth charts of all of our team members and looking at their gene keys to see how exactly I can support them in the way that just fulfills them.
And also, we're really diligent on not just like filling a role to fill the role, but we want that person to feel so fulfilled on our team doing X, Y, Z.
And so that has just been manifested so perfectly.
So although it happened what it feels like overnight, it's been working so well and it's been allowing us to operate so much better.
It's been nourishing our relationship so much better.
But I'm I'm kind of like the project manager if it if it needs like a business term and just making sure Aaron's downloads find a nice landing place that can actually be birthed into something that other people can take part of.
Yeah, we don't want Aaron's downloads to be lost in the ether. You gotta you gotta put it down on paper somewhere.
Yeah, it's it's nuts. Like they can come through at like 10 o'clock.
I'm like, oh my God, I don't know if I'm equipped right now.
I just then I just know it's pagers just like so chaotic and just like I feel like you can scroll for miles on one note.
I'm like, we need to organize that because there's no way that you can get all the information that you need in real life.
But it's fun. Yeah, Aaron, this is profound. But damn, it's disorganized. Yeah, if he can understand it. Great.
All I need to know, like to speak it from your mouth again so I can put it in a way that makes sense for me.
Right. Yeah, no, it doesn't. This will be this will be cool for our community to hear because we get a lot of the end products,
but we don't really get the process, the context of what you guys do. And it's a well-oiled machine, it seems.
I'm glad to hear that y'all are expanding your team, scaling, outsourcing, using each other's time
and leveraging that for exponential returns on your investment. So I can't wait to see how it grows.
I can call myself an OG because one of the first one of the first to join.
So it's going to be cool seeing it from its birth to whatever it turns into. Yeah, it's been we have just like I mentioned,
like an endless list of initiatives of like, oh, my God, this has to get into FortyU and, you know,
what it means to be a FortyU or a university tapping more into that and expanding the coursework and all these different things.
We just have to get technology to be on the same frequency as us. We have been kind of at a standstill for like a month and a half.
So nothing really new has come out except for the ones that have like 40 fellowship and other small things came with so many little technical hiccups
because we didn't have our app approved and stuff like that. But let me tell you, it's approved.
So we might just be off to the races very soon. Yeah, can't wait. You guys always drop little teasers.
I'm not going to pry. We'll find out soon. Oh, yeah, it's it's going to be fun.
So as the episode is about to wrap up, I want to just, you know, do a little fun series of questions kind of off beat off topic, you could say.
What is a what is something about Aaron that you could share that most people who follow him would find, I don't know, surprising or random?
He is a goofiest motherfucker ever. You guys would have no idea. Maybe you do. His personality shines through sometimes on the calls, but he's goofy.
I think he feeds off me. I'm really weird, but he he matches it and sends it right back for sure.
He's really goofy. I can see that. Yeah. What is your favorite mainstream clothing brand that's actually quality that lives up to its name?
Oh, that's tough. I love fashion so much. Or underground, like, you know, underrated, mainstream, whatever you feel.
I I love how skims feel. It's Kim Kardashian's line. So soft. I find a lot of pieces off of Fashion Nova.
I shop for Aaron on Fashion Nova all the time. And my favorite store that I would say it's on I'm an online shopping gal.
I don't go in person. It just takes so much time. There is a French store called Manure des Bois. Probably butchered that.
The coolest clothes, the coolest freaking clothes ever. But yeah, I don't know if that's really known in America, but that might be labeled as underground.
I'll get that in the show notes after. So if you're going to check it out.
For sure. It's super cool. What is your favorite? So you are you didn't even hear of like spiritual texts for a lot of the most of your life.
What's the spiritual text, the masculinity, you know, the concepts, the really hardcore spiritual words that is your favorite?
I would say I am that by Siri Nizagradada. Was that who it's by? Yeah, that that took me forever to get through.
And I'm still like going through it. It just is. It's you got to pay attention, at least for my super feminine brain.
He says so much without saying anything. And it's so profound. I just I love that book so much.
Nizagradada wasn't expecting that. Who would have knew? Probably think Aaron.
Now, what is your favorite exercise? My favorite exercise I have I've always lifted. So I love a good leg day as most girls do. I'm really into Pilates these days, though.
So I'm not working out as much weight wise and doing more just like body work. So I would say Pilates and bar are now front runners for exercise.
OK, what's the weirdest dream you've ever had? Oh, my gosh. I dream every single night and they're all extremely vivid and sometimes just like, what does that even mean?
Oh, I don't even know. There there's this one dream.
OK, so there is this one dream when I was in kindergarten. There is this really mean boy in my class named Hunter.
And Hunter was my table buddy, and he would not share his crowns with me.
And he would always like take them or like he would have his hands like you take things from me with his hands.
And I was deeply offended of a little tot. So I had this dream and it's the one that always sticks out vividly because there's so much information coming in every day.
I'm like, that's not useful. I'm going to like log that in my deep subconscious somewhere.
But I've talked about this dream a lot because it's just so funny and random.
Weird. So we're in my stepdad's old shop. He has the my trucks.
And so it was a very tall shop and we were on this school field trip and there was like five, maybe six.
I had six people in my elementary or junior high class coming from my small town.
So all we're all there. And Hunter was right next to me and he had no hand. He just had a step.
And it was it looked like it was freshly cut because it was flesh.
It wasn't bleeding or anything because I had a rated PG dream world back then.
But it was chopped off and I accidentally kept on poking it. I didn't mean to.
We're standing in line and our teachers, you know, giving up instructions for our field trip or something.
And I just kept like bopping it. And he was just getting angry and getting more rattled up.
And I'm like, I'm sorry, Hunter. I didn't mean to poke your nub.
And by like the third time, he was like, that's it. And he turned into like a tree frog.
And he just kept on like jumping all over the walls and like chasing me.
And like it was just weird. And he turned into like a rainbow at the end.
So that's what I have. I hope it was worth it.
Wow. That was pretty random and weird. Yeah.
I tried it every time I wake up, Aaron and I say good morning and I meet him after he meditates.
And then we switch. But say good morning. How did you sleep?
And if he says he's had a dream, I'm my ears are peaked because he like never dreams like tell me about it.
He's like, I already forgot it. I'm like, well, I'll tell you about my dream.
And earlier in a relationship, I would tell him about my dreams every single day.
And if you ask him about this, he would probably crack up laughing because he would sit there and just be so lost in the sauce of having no idea what's happening.
But it's like real life for me. I went to those places. Yeah.
And I'm like, I don't even try to recall my dreams. I'm just like, whatever. I have a dream log, but she's dusty. I can't. It's hard to keep up.
Yeah. Yeah, that's interesting. My friend, she's also very feminine in her energy.
She also has vivid dreams every day. I don't know what it is. I don't dream either. I'm not sure what's going on.
I don't know. I think it might be like a empath trait or thing. Yeah.
What do you like about being a projector?
I feel like I have a bird's eye view to most situations.
And I feel like I can write an action plan of how to get from point A to Z.
It's the most efficient route possible with extreme execution with confidence in most situations.
That's I feel like the projector trait that I love the most.
Yeah, that would be tough. There's some projector traits that I'm it's tough for me to welcome with open arms.
But that was good. Well, the most popular trait, you can only you're only really meant to work three to four hours a day.
And you need to take a break. And we know my work life right now.
So it's really challenging wanting to pour in and being excited to pour in.
And you don't listen. I don't listen to my clock. Aaron's good about taking naps.
And I just get to the end of the day and I'm like, I'm shot. Yeah.
But so I think that's a learning curve for me. I'm now on a routine of working from this time to that time.
And I go away from screens and EMS and I go sit in the grass for an hour.
And it feels great. I love that new routine. Yeah, wonderful.
Wanna I'm a projector, too. So yeah, that's why I wanted to ask you to close off.
That was very fun offbeat. Just wanted to get the more human side of you for the audience.
You said in the beginning, well, before we started filming that you figured that you feel like your time to step in the limelight is coming.
What does that look like for you? How will how do you foresee yourself playing that role?
You know, shifting roles from, you know, being in the back, running the processes to being in the limelight.
What does that mean for you? And what can we expect to maybe see from you?
Well, I feel like it's for me how I feel about that is more so kind of the season that we're talking about of being more inward.
I've been feeling super inward for the past couple of years and I've been patient like I've said, and friendships have kind of come in.
And I I used to be a social butterfly and I could talk to anybody type of thing.
I just something switched off for for a long time, for many years.
And I it was bizarre for me. So I have the desire back to to start expressing and sharing and just whoever wants to come through for me.
I don't have a desire to be like in the spotlight.
I love our dynamic of, you know, Aaron being Aaron and his genius. And I'm still happy to support wherever I'm needed.
And like I said, I love figuring things out and making them come to life. So I it's a very, very fulfilling for me.
I feel like this new area will be more prominent in my personal life, I think.
And maybe that will bleed into, you know, 40 you in different ways. Aaron and I have a long list of ideas and, you know, there there could potentially be some conscious partnership, little workshops or something or many courses in the future.
Obviously, that would be both of us sharing and facilitating that. So I'm very much so just like letting life guide me of when is it time.
And when you reached out to invite me on your podcast, part of me was like, no, not you.
And nicely on my behalf, I was very busy. So I'm like, I have an excuse to not do this right away. But I it was calling you very deeply.
And I'm so glad I did, because this has just been so fun and really nourishing. So thank you for inviting me on your podcast.
And thank you for coming on and sharing who you are. This is the first glimpse we have of Sylina in a longer format. Right.
Yeah. Last question. The audience probably wants to know is 40 probably wants to know this. I got you guys.
Do y'all plan on having children anytime soon? Is that what horizon is that?
Yeah, interesting. You asked that we've had conversations recently kind of about parenting and what we feel individually about that.
And we definitely feel a call of service to the planet and having children and being able to be there, you know, new beings guide in such a powerful way.
So we we both have that desire and it feels very comforting for me to have the support from our team members to know, like, you know, we don't have to do it all.
We're extremely supported. And that kind of gives me a peace of mind.
If I were to be pregnant and step into this new season of motherhood, I wouldn't have to, you know, like teeter totter or like I wouldn't have to figure anything out.
It's taken care of. So the answer to that is, yes, we would love to have children.
And we we're open for life to bless us whenever it wants, but we are not on a routine or anything, if that makes sense, and not willing it, but just having fun with life and letting ourselves be led.
And whenever we feel like being intimate, we're going to act on that and not just going off of my cycle.
So we're having fun with it, but we're we're definitely open to that in the season.
Awesome. Is there is there any last words you would like to share on this podcast?
I would just say to anyone that's listening, do not let yourself be afraid to let your true expression shine and to just be authentic from your unique divine expression.
So often we can get caught up in this spiritual awakening path of what does that look like and what what do you what clothes do you have to wear?
How do you how are you supposed to sound and what can you say and not say?
Not important, by the way, just being yourself and allowing your vessel of what you hands like and yourself to just express for you and have so much fun with it.
And just let yourself be lived. That's what I would say, because that's what I was saying myself this season.
And it's been really fun to be able to step into that and embody that more.
Wow. Yes, very well said. Authenticity is honestly such a big medicine. It's a breath of fresh air to be yourself. And so, yes, just be you. You'll you'll love it.
I promise. Awesome. And speaking of being you, Sylina, thank you for being you in a format that you're not familiar with. I'm honored to have been the very first person to invite you on to a podcast.
I'm still finding that surprising, by the way. And I hope you guys enjoyed seeing this side of her. She is very rich with wisdom and full blown embodiment.
That's that's the theme that kept coming up whenever I contemplated this upcoming episode with her.
Like, yeah, no, she just kind of lives these truths. She doesn't need all the pizzazz of conceptual, you know, concepts. She just is.
And so it's been it's been great, you know, going back and forth with you.
That's been so fun. Thank you. All right, you guys. This is a very heartwarming episode for me. I hope I did it justice for introducing her. And with that being said, I'll see you guys next time on the Lighthouse podcast.
Cheers, everybody.