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Do you have a child that is gender confused?

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Are you the parent of somebody that is either identified as transgender using different pronouns

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or some other type of gender confused, just propaganda being shoved down your kids' throats?

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I created the Biblically Parenting Gender Confused Children Support Group for parents just like you.

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The support group is completely free, we meet monthly, and you are able to connect with other

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like-minded Christian parents that are struggling with how to parent children that are gender confused.

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They're getting all sorts of nonsense brought to them by the world, and I want to help connect

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parents that are going through similar struggles and be able to tackle this issue through a biblical worldview.

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If you are interested in joining this group or know somebody that might be interested in this group,

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head on over to faithfullyengaged.com and there's more information about the support group there.

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I have a link down in the description below.

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Everyone, welcome back to another episode of Faithfully Engaged. Really excited about a guest

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I have on today, Alex Dimchek. He is a former quarterback in the SEC at Missouri. This was

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an interesting one for me. I don't know when this will air, but this is the middle of football

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season when we're airing this or when we're doing this. That would be interesting. Talk to him about

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that, but also as a writer and speaker, all sorts of good stuff. Alex, why don't you tell the audience

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a little bit about yourself? Yeah, Johnny, thanks for having me. We're at Mizzou plays LSU tomorrow

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at home. We will be at the game. We're excited whenever your listeners listen to this. We're in

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the middle of football season. Mizzou is five and zero right now. There's my little football snippet

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for the podcast. I live in Missouri, married with two kiddos, and get the chance to do about 50

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speaking engagements per year. Then in 2020, started a company called Streamline Books with my

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co-founder. We help people write and edit and publish their book in about a 20 week or about a

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six month process and give or take. We just love helping steward people's stories, man. We just

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feel like there's so much news in the world today. It's like, what can we do to move people's stories

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and their testimonies and their encouragement forward? I would say right now, it's about 50-50.

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I spent my time like this morning. I had a speaking engagement in St. Louis. Then half my other time

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is helping people with their book and things like that. It's fun. I live in the Midwest.

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Yeah, man. Excited to be here. Awesome. Let me start actually on the since we are on football

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season. For those of you that are in my area, I'm in Oklahoma. It's OU Texas weekend. It's a big

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deal around here. Tell me just a little bit about your football journey and what it was like playing

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college football. Yeah, man. It's a great question. Yeah, that's a big rivalry game you just mentioned

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right there. Growing up as a sports fanatic, I would say, I always loved sports and got the chance to

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play college football and walked on at the University of Missouri. Honestly, if I'm being

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toy transparent my first two years on the team, life was good. I had no complaints. I was in the

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zone. Things were up into the right for me. Going into my junior season, every year you have this

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meeting with one of your coaches. Going into my junior season, I had another one of those meetings

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and it was really chill. No big deal. I walk in and instead of one coach being there, there was three.

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One of the coaches, when I sit down at the table, he actually gets up to close the door behind him.

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I'm thinking, that's not a good start to this meeting. One of the coaches sits down at the

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table, looks right across the table from me and says, Alex, I want to shoot you straight. We have

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over scholarship at quarterback. We are bringing in someone to take your spot. At that point in my

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life, football was my identity. That's who I was. If I had a bad practice, my whole day was ruined.

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So much of my identity was wrapped up in who I was as an athlete. In that moment, what he was

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essentially telling me is, you are not good enough. In that moment where my mind is racing,

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where he's telling me this crazy news, he says, Alex, you have two options. Option number one is

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your cut. That's it. Thank you, but no thank you. Option number two is you can stay on as this volunteer

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assistant coach. We could find something for you to do. He's like, by the way, you need to decide

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right now in this meeting room what you want to do. As you can imagine, as a junior in college,

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my mind is racing. I'm frustrated on all these things in that moment. He's like, you have to give

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us an answer right now. I don't even know what to say. I just felt in that moment called to

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stay at Mizzou. So I said, well, I guess I'll stay on as an assistant coach, whatever that means.

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So they all stood up and they shook my hand, walked me out of the door,

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and it was like a business transaction. I remember walking past the player who took my spot. I knew

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who he was. That was tough. I remember going out to my truck and just parking it somewhere and just

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crying, just feeling so humiliated. I had all these big aspirations, kid from a small town,

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wanted to do these things. And then this is where it leads to, like me getting cut from the team.

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Like how does that work? That was not in my five-year plan. And we had a few weeks until our first

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practice. And I'm like, you know what? After I was, I mean, it was a tough few weeks. I can't sure

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code it. It was a huge trial because football was such a big part of my life and it was this

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massive loss. And I thought, you know what? I'm going to be positive. I'm going to make it as a

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coach. I'm going to do big things as a coach. And that's what I thought at least. And I remember

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showing up to that first day of practice thinking, you know what? They're going to give me this big

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role on the team. Like they're going to give me the free Mizzou swag, the free gear, the free new

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Nike shoes, all these things, all the perks you get as an athlete, right? And I show up, Johnny,

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and one of the assistant coaches. He kind of pulls me aside and he's like, Alex, I want to show you

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what your job's going to be. And he shows me, I still have it to this day. He shows me this yellow

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flag. And for your listeners, it's like a yellow referee flag. This is the actual flag he gave me.

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And he pulls me over to the side. He says, Alex, I want to show you what you're, you know, we need to

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work on our discipline in practice. And so what you're going to do is when someone jumps off sides,

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you're going to take this flag and your listeners can't see this, but you're going to throw it down

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to the ground, right? You're just going to throw it down. And the worst part about the whole deal

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is he actually like demonstrated how to do that twice. He like showed it to me twice. And I was

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like, you know, in my mind, I'm thinking, wow, what a rocket scientist of a coach, you know? I'm

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like, what is going on right now? But long story short, for the sake of your, this show here,

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my entire junior season, I'm throwing the darn flag. I'm doing, I'm printing off, you know,

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copies of the practice plan before practice. I'm making coffee for the coaches. I'm doing all these,

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like in my mind, like such irrelevant things. Like what, like why asking all the big questions in

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life? Like, why am I here? What am I doing? And I'll just say this in that junior season,

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some cool things started to happen. Number one, just the sheer humility of the situation,

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of being brought so low, you know, there was, there are so many relationships today that I

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forged in that time because I stuck with it. And I think people, just the encouragement they

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gave me when I was at my lowest, right? And, you know, my senior year was coming around the corner.

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I told the coaches, I want to do whatever I can to get back on the team. And I remember being like

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in my street clothes at practice, I'm like running sprints with the team. I'm doing all these things

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to show like, Hey, I have one more year of eligibility. I want to get back on the team.

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I'm not going anywhere. And long story short, I did get back on the team as a quarterback. We go

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to the Citrus Bowl my senior year, we beat Minnesota. It was like an awesome, I guess,

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ending to my career. But the reason why I share that on your podcast today, Johnny, is that when I

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look back at all my years as a player, and then the one year where I threw this darn flag, and I

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didn't really have a title and I felt kind of worthless, I would argue. And I think a lot of

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my old teammates, coaches, fans would agree that I made a way bigger impact. The one year that I

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threw that darn flag, the one year that I didn't have a title, the one year that I was questioning

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so many things in my life, then all my years as an athlete. And my message to your listeners is that

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leadership requires no title, you know, and I think I had to learn that the hard way. And I had to be

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humiliated and exposed in that way. But I had to fully take ownership of, Okay, what can I do to

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get better? And so, man, I'm sorry for that mouthful right there. But that you asked me, you open it

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up, man, that's my story. That's a little bit about man, my background. And so now my message,

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when I go speak to organizations and teams is that's my message is to be excellent, to show up

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today with excellence. I don't care what where you are at the depth chart, I don't care what your job

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title is, because you can show up with integrity and be excellent today. And the only person stopping

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you from doing that is yourself. I think that's such a such a neat story there. And I'm sure

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there's all sorts of other twists and turns that that are along the way in that as well. But

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yeah, I have such a fascination. I always grew up playing sports and I've loved watching sports.

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I have almost this. It's almost kind of like my true crime type of passion that sometimes I'll look

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up athletes that have, you know, on top of the world making millions of dollars and then they

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end up like being poor and have no money when they're in their 40s and 50s. And I just always find

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that so sad because they yeah, they literally had everything, everything that every little boy ever

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dreams of. And then it's just squandered. And I love hearing the reverse of a story like yours

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where that humility came in. And that's really what drove you towards better success. So sometimes

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those athletes that don't have as much humility given to them early on, they you're going to find

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it at some point in life, it's better to find it a little bit earlier on and able to apply that when

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when you become an adult. Yeah, that's a really good perspective. I haven't I hadn't thought about

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it like that before, but you're right. And it's like, I'm grateful that I was in a way humiliated

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and had to go through that because I don't think we would be on this podcast right now together

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because I don't think I would have ever pursued the work that I'm pursuing as being an author and

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a speaker and all these things. I think that's the message to anyone listening is that you never

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know how you'll be used during those moments that are trials in your life. You know, and so you can

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look at a situation like that, and I didn't handle everything perfectly by any means. But as I look

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back on it, it's like, you can either a situation like that can either define you or you can let

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it refine you. And I think when you live with that mindset of, you know what, I'm going to show up

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today, I don't have to show up to practice today, I get to show up to practice when you have that

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mentality, it changes the way that you do things, it changes the way that you work. I think all of

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us could apply that simple strategy of, I don't have to do my job, I get you don't have to do this

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podcast, you get the opportunity to have a podcast, I can make an impact on people. And like when you

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think of it like that, it truly does change your perspective and your outlook on life.

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You bring up a really important word that I was telling Alex right before came on here that my day

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job is as a counselor that most of you listening have probably heard that before, that often what

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I emphasize with my clients that healing and getting through some of these emotional difficulties

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generally is pretty simple. And I make sure to force that out a little bit more. I don't mean

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that it's easy, it can be very difficult, but I liken it to things like an athlete or going to

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the gym, go to the gym getting in good shape, that's not very complicated. You wake up and you lift

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weights, you run, you eat better. I mean, there's not a lot of moving pieces there, but it's that

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consistency and putting in that hard work. And I love that you brought out that simple piece there

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that doing hard work is really not that complicated, it just takes discipline and it takes being

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consistent. And I would love to hear kind of your story after college, getting into speaking and

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becoming an author and doing all the things you're doing. How did that happen? I know it

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took a lot of work, but what was your story about getting involved in those things?

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Yeah, that's a great question. I took a public speaking class my senior year at the University

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of Missouri and in that class, I remember there was only 27 kids in the class, but there was only

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two of us that enjoyed it. I remember looking forward to the presentations where everyone

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else in the class was like, it was one of those deals where it's like, if you go first, you get

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like an A. So every time I'm like, I'll go. What's the worst that could happen? So I realized I

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enjoyed speaking and then I met John Gordon, who's now my co-author about eight years ago when I was

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on the team at Mizzou, he spoke to the athletic department and I saw the motivation, the things

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in his life that I said, wow, I want to be like that when I'm older. And so I straight up asked him,

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I said, look, I see what you're doing. I would love to do whatever you just did. I

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want to do that when I'm older. Can I be mentored by you? Can I learn from you? And he gets asked

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that a lot. I didn't know that, but I just went up to him and asked him and he essentially said,

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are you willing to work for free? And I think he was kind of testing me a little bit and I said,

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absolutely. And so I started managing, doing sales for him, doing all kinds of things that

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which then led to me speaking on his books. He has now 28 books. Many of them are best-selling

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books. And then last year, just through years of speaking, kind of underneath him and learning

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from him, then I brought, we worked on our book called The Sale, which we published together

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last year as co-authors, a book about building trust, integrity. And it's a business fable,

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so it's a story. It's a story that teaches these principles. And I think what's unique is,

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he's way further in his career. He's been doing this for 20 years now. I'm just getting started,

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but it's cool that we've seen as co-authors, integrity in each other. We've built trust.

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I didn't come to him and say, what can you do for me? I came to him and said, how can I add value

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to you and then learn from you? So on both ends, we've added value to each other over the last

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seven years. And then now we write a book about how you can build trust to other people through the

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way you lead with integrity. And so it is cool. It's definitely, I think, as a person of faith,

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I think it's just God aligning that and God blessing the different aspects of that relationship.

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But I think it's just a cool lesson for me that I've learned is when you see something that you're

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like, wow, that is something I aspire to, or I want to learn how to do that, just be willing to ask.

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Because if I wouldn't have asked, if I would have never reached out and been intentional,

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like again, I probably wouldn't be on this podcast with you. And I think it's just a message to

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remind myself every time when I think of something, obviously, I guess you could get carried away with

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this. But for the most part, when in life, when there's an opportunity where you kind of, you know,

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like, okay, should I ask this person this question, or should I, you know, help this person that's

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in need, it's like, it's just, it's almost, for me at least, the times that I don't act on those

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impulses or those promptings, I usually look back with regret. And so for me, it's like,

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life's too short for that. Write that book, you know, quit that job to start your own

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counseling practice. It's like, figure out what you are called to do and take steps in that direction

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to do it. I love what you were saying there of asking for help. That's something that

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so often I see in my in my practice of, Oh, I don't want to ask for help. I don't want to bother them,

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or maybe talking about themselves too much. I don't want to look like I'm selfish, and

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constantly and redirecting wait a second. Being humble kind of that whole concept,

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it means that you're not thinking of yourself all the all the time. It doesn't mean that you're

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just downgrading yourself or talking terrible about yourself or not accepting help, like,

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God gave us people around us for a reason. We need community. When he created Adam,

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he didn't just keep Adam, right? He made Eve. Like we're built in that way. So I love that you

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parse out there that just go ask for help. That actually is kind of a, like for my Christian

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listeners, that is a sign of pride to not ask for help. That you're saying that you got it all on

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your own and you don't. We all need other people. What was that? Was that a struggle for you to

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ask for help? Or did that something maybe after your experience there in college kind of that

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humility became a little bit easier for you? Yeah, I think that's a big part of it. But you bring

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up a great point. I mean, I think especially as Christians, are you willing to not act like I have

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it all together, right? I think about, you know, even last year, me and my wife, I remember we

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went to a friend that recommended us to a really good Christian counselor in our area. And I kind

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of went in a little skeptical because I'm like, I don't know if I, whatever air quotes need this,

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right? But I'm telling you what he did is he sat down with us. He opened up the Bible and when he,

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I just really respected the way that he had conversations with both of us. There was things

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that it was mainly for me that I thought that going in, but then it was mainly me that needed to be

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worked on in a lot of different ways. And so it was cool in the end how that all just, yeah,

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I walked away from that going like, wow, I think I should regularly be meeting with a counselor of

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some type. So I think the work that you do is so important. So I just want to encourage you in that

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and your listeners as well. But I do think there's an element of at times we think, well, you know,

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at life's so busy, like this is the time where I don't really need this, you know, maybe at some

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point when life slows down, then I will get the coach, then I will get the accountability, then

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I will get the accountability, then I'll get the counselor. But as you know, you see people every

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day I'm sure in your practice that they should have done it earlier. And they should have. And

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if they could have got that accountability, they could have got that reinforcement, they wouldn't

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show up at your office with maybe some of the issues that could have been easily avoided earlier

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on. There's a song by the band, Casting Crowns, called Slow Fade, right? And in the song, I'm

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not going to sing on your show. Don't worry, Johnny, I don't want to turn away all your listeners,

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but you know, there's the song at the end, you know, it says people never crumble in a day.

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And I love that line because the reality is, I'm sure you would agree, you know,

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you'd see the same thing in your practice. It's like, you know, when you see in the news,

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maybe a celebrity or someone who makes just a really bad decision that negatively impacts a

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lot of people, you know, there's that ripple effect, whether it's an organization, a sports

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team, you name it. When you look at that person's life, you know, my dad, he's been like an

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investigator for 40 years. When he talks about investigations, he does, there's never just,

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there's usually never one person who wakes up on a Monday morning and says, you know what,

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today is the day that I'm going to humiliate my family, throw everything away, you know, get fired

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for my job. Like usually it doesn't happen like that. Usually there's, if you look back, there's

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usually this trail of rationalization. There's this trail of betrayal, or there's these, you know,

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there's these signs that you can point to to say, wow, look at those small rationalizations that

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started snowballing to where now there was this massive explosion, I guess you could call it.

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And so I think for me in working with leadership teams, things like that, it's like, how can you

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be introspective to look at your own life and realize, you know what, I don't have all the

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answers, I don't have it all together. What are the things that I can do in my life to ensure that

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I can lead for the long haul, you know, to be a durable leader. I literally sent out an email

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newsletter this morning, I have something called Focus Friday, I send out to thousands of leaders,

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and I was driving my Honda CRV last night on the way to speaking engagement. And I thought in my

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head as I was driving down the highway of like, because it hit 100,000 miles, right. And so it's

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an older car. And I thought, you know, what makes a durable leader? What makes a Honda, you know,

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it's not really a flashy car, but for the most part, they last a long time. I looked up an

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article, there's this in Kentucky, there's a Honda CRV that lasted a million miles, right. And so

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it's like, these things are battle tested, they're, they're, they're, they're in it for the long haul.

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And so I started thinking, what makes a leader durable in that way? And I think it starts with

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integrity. I think it starts with, you know, understanding the vision for where they're

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headed, the North Star in their career, what allows them to have that long term success.

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And then I think the last part you hit on that I said in the newsletter this morning,

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was, you know, leaders have support, durable leaders are to have support around them and people

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that are in their corner and who are saying, Hey, you know, I support you, how can I be praying for

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you? How can I be encouraging you all these different things and without, you know, God created

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us for that and, and, and to have that, like you mentioned. And so man, those are the things that

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I'm kind of passionate about. So I appreciate you, you bringing that up. Absolutely. One major

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reason why I made this podcast is so much content out there is focused on what's going wrong. And

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mind you, I always say it's not a bad idea to know what's going on around you in the world. If there's

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things going on either in, in politics or just things going on that you disagree with,

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I think being informed is good. So I'm not telling listeners to turn off the news forever.

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What I am saying is that staying there and just being glued to the TV all day, oh my goodness,

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can you believe this happened or that happened? And then just being angry and apathetic. And that's

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it. Like that's, that's not what we're called to do. We're not called to just be passive viewers

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of the carnage around us. We're called to be creators. We're called to be doers. We're called

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to be active. So that's what I like a lot, a lot of the work that you're doing. You're, you're

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encouraging people to be active, regardless of the listeners out here, whether they want to be a

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speaker or a writer or ask a girl out or try out for a new job, whatever they're doing, if they are

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being passive and not putting themselves out there, what would you be, what would your advice be to

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the listeners to put themselves out there, be active and go for it? What do you think that they

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should do? Yeah, that's, that's a great question. I think first off, you know, as a Christian, I think

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for myself, it's like, how can I align with the things that I'm doing with what God is calling

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me to do? And so I think it starts with just being in prayer of, you know, God, would you open up

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opportunities? Would you make it clear to me in the path that I should go? And I think for me, it's

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like, what are the things that I am passionate about that I would not have to get paid and I

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would still do that, right? And so for me, that's speaking, that's writing books, that's being on

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podcast. I'm not getting paid to be on on this podcast, right? So it's like, but I love doing

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this, right? And so it's like, those are the things I recently read a book, it just came out by Dan

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Sullivan and a strategic strategic coach called 10x is easier than 2x. And the whole book talks

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about, it's not just saying 10x as in work 10 times harder, it's saying, find, find the 20%

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of your unique ability. That's what they talk about in the book, everyone has a unique ability,

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find that unique gifting and ability, and really spend a large majority of your time in that

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gifting, right? And because, because what he says, the argument in the book is that so many people

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as business owners don't do that, they do the opposite, they get bogged down and all the other

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things, but they neglect that unique ability. That's what you need to be fostering. That's

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you need to double down on. And so I think, you know, I read a John Maxwell book called Put Your

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Dream to the Test. John Maxwell, he's the author of 60 books. I've done all these things. And what

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he said is when you look for a career, you find a calling, he said, a lot of people will enter a

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career that maybe naturally on a scale of one to 10, on a scale level, they're a four, right? And

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if they want to work really hard and grind it out, maybe they could get to a seven or an eight,

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right? But what he says is you find something that naturally you're maybe a six or seven,

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right? And then when you apply hard work to it, boom, now you're getting closer to that nine to

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10. And that really, that really struck me because I was in a job in corporate America, crunching

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numbers, doing things that it was, yeah, it paid the bills and it was a great job. But man, like,

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I wasn't that I didn't feel very called to do that. I wasn't passionate about that. I'm glad I did it

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for five years. But that's when I started cultivating this side hustle and started doing speaking on

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the side. Right. And so then after five years, I was able to walk away from my lucrative full time

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career, because I was able to show my wife, look how much money I've made from the side hustle,

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it's actually almost more than my full time job. So it was easy conversation. She's like, of course,

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go for it, right? And I think a lot of people assume like if they have this dream or passion,

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it's like, well, to do this, I would have to quit my full time job. Like, that's not true. Like,

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what is the step that you can take now proactively to take one step in that direction? Is it starting,

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you know, starting a podcast? Like what you've done? Is it creating a website? Is it blogging?

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Like there's so it's never been easier to start a business, a lifestyle business. And I think

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for me, I'm passionate about telling people, I started as a side hustle. And I did that for four

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and a half years before I then made the leap because I felt like God was calling me to do that.

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And I met with, you know, mentors in my life, they affirmed it like, Hey, go for it. You know,

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you got nothing to lose. And I think the only reason I got there is because I was first faithful

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into taking those early steps to show up to be excellent to say, how can I get better at this

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craft? Even if I have to get up early before my day job starts, I want to honor the employer. So

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I'm going to work outside of my work hours to make it happen. Like those are the steps that I had to

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take. And I think a lot of people ask me all the time, how can I be a speaker? How can I,

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I want to go speak at X amount of events per year? Well, that's awesome. But do you want to

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sleep in the airport? Like I had to do two months ago, like that's part of it. Like you see all the

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stuff on social media, but you don't see the fact that like sometimes like, I will literally be in

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an airport for 13 hours to go speak for 45 minutes. That's the trade off because of the flight delays

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and things. But it's like, I keep showing up and doing it. And so I think for me headed into the

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new year, it's really, you know, defining what I want in my business and defining what I feel like,

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you know, for example, I with two kids now, I don't the appeal of being traveling always being

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gone isn't there for me anymore. And so how can I be intentional to say, Hey, you know what,

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I actually only want to do 36 speaking engagements this year. That's it. Right. And so I'm going to

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trust that that I'll be able to provide for my family based off that. And so I think there's

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things like that that I'm trying to get intentional with that, man, I think people can can do the

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same thing in their lives and their businesses as well. I really like what what you teased out there

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and something in my personal life that so I started my own counseling practice. It's been

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it's been about a year now that that I did that. And much like you, I had a full time job when I

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opened it. And this was not my full time job. The podcast same thing. Still definitely not a full

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time job. But been doing it on the side. And actually, I don't think I've actually talked

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about this on the podcast yet. Earlier this year, the full time job I was working at it was for

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those of you that really don't know a lot about the counseling world. Finding a job and counseling

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is basically the easiest thing ever. I could go to Alex's hometown right now and find a job like

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that they're everywhere. There's hard and people absolutely everywhere. So I've never really worried

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about being laid off before because there's people that have issues all over the world.

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But the company I was working for was more on the tech side of things than on the counseling side

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of things. They're based in California. And those of you that remember, again, this is Erin and

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are outwards recording October 2023. And March of 2023, there is all these bank closings. The

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first one was Silicon Valley Bank. And wouldn't you know that was the bank my company used. And

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my alarm bells are going off. We got an email saying, Oh, we should be able to get your pay

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checks this week. I'm thinking, Oh, that that sounds bad. So because I'd already started my

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practice, I had already kind of done some things. I was able to say, you know what, I don't need to

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live in fear of having a job being laid off when I know I can get jobs elsewhere. So I left them,

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and I'm on my own now and doing some contract work. And one of the perks of me having that full

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time job was we had eight weeks off of leave when you had a kid. And we just had our had our son

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just a couple months ago. Well, wouldn't you know that the very week that my son was due to be born,

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that company I worked for went under like eight weeks off wouldn't have mattered. I wouldn't

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have had a job. And they would have given me a whole one week's worth of severance. So

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would have been in a very bad spot. And I certainly thank the Lord for kind of the wisdom

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and guidance there and protection for the family. And we've were in such a better spot there. But

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that would not have been possible. Had I not done my due diligence and done some of my side things,

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kind of like Alex did, it it's kind of an insurance blanket there too. So yeah,

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what you said earlier, Alex is true. The only thing limiting you is yourself. So just just go out

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and do it. And if you fail, you fail. But you gave it a shot much better to fail and have tried

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then to fail by not even trying at all. Yes, exactly. And yeah, I love that man. And yeah,

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I'm excited to continue to listen to your podcast because you're bringing on people that are

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that are doing that. And I think, yeah, for all your listeners, I would love to connect with

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anyone that wants to reach out. And yeah, I'm just really excited to stay and connect with you,

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man. Yeah. And speaking of that, where can people find you once this show airs?

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Yeah, so my website is alexspeaking.com for anyone that wants to bring me in and speak at an event.

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But then if they want to write a book, if you're like, Hey, I have a story I want to share, I want

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to use it as a business card for my business. Our website is write my books.com. So that's

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write my books.com. You can just fill out the info and we'd love to set up a call with you just

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to hear more about your book and how we could help help you do that and bring your book to life.

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Awesome. All right, well, I'll have all of that included down there in the show notes below. And

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Alex, thanks again so much for being on and sharing your story with us.

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Hey, thanks, Johnny. Be blessed, man. And thanks so much for having me on.

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Absolutely. And thank you to everybody that listened to another show faithfully engaged and we'll catch you on the next one.