Alright, everyone, welcome back to another episode of Faithfully Engaged.
Today we have a guest on.
Her name is Frida.
And Frida, would you mind telling us a little bit about yourself?
Absolutely.
Thank you so much for having me.
So my name is Frida.
I am the host of Finding the Faith, which is Thursday, 7 p.m. live on Rumble.
I'm also an ex-Jobist witness just trying to figure out the whole religious thing.
But right now I am a non-denominational Christian and I am a conservative.
Fantastic.
So you are just all the bad things in the world.
You are a terrible person.
That's what I heard from you.
Yes.
I'm a racist.
Because I'm one of all of it.
I'm trouble.
I'm no name.
There you go.
Well, let's start with your show first.
Finding the Faith.
Tell us just a little bit about that and why you decided to make that show.
So for the longest time, I really wanted to get into the podcasting space.
But I wasn't entirely sure what I would podcast about.
And then getting more and more into the culture war, a lot of it was kind of depressing, to
be honest.
It was like every new day would find out that this company was doing this bad thing or this
group of people were engaging in this really horrendous thing.
And it just felt nonstop almost like you couldn't breathe with all of the craziness and what
our own culture war was going on.
And I wanted to find a place where we kind of get to know each other in the culture war,
kind of this is who's fighting behind like next to you in that foxhole.
A place of encouragement where we would focus on the good and the beautiful and not so much
the external craziness that's just mind blowing.
Yeah.
Oh, I think that's a great reason.
That's honestly a lot of what led me into making initially the Truth and Grace Counseling
podcast, but also now into faithfully engaged that as as Christians as conservatives, I
think we are rightfully concerned about things in the culture.
And I don't think we should turn a blind eye or just act like everything's fine.
That anger point oftentimes is necessary to realize, no, this is wrong.
That being said, so much of the content out there is, yep, this is terrible.
And then what?
Like there's nothing else going on with that.
And I find that leads a lot of people to anger and apathy.
And it's not helpful.
It's something we need to know about, but then go the next step.
So I really appreciate that you're trying to do that to show, yeah, there is encouragement.
We need to know the people that I love how you put in the foxhole next to me and really
engage in that, build each other up instead of, did you see what AOC tweeted?
That was stupid.
Like that just doesn't help us too much.
Exactly.
And I've been so blessed by getting into this because I mean, I live in a blue state.
It is, I mean, with the exception of our brunch place, which is very, very special to me,
they have amazing waitresses.
We love them all, give them Christmas gifts every year and then like newsmax on while we're
all like brunching, like trying to be normal people.
But other than that, there's not really a sane person in sight.
And so it's just been such a blessing to get to connect with like-minded people who share
the same values, who share the same or similar journeys and same experiences.
Yeah.
Now, I don't want to put you on the spot too much, but do you mind sharing what blue state
that you're in?
That's one of the things I don't do.
Yeah.
No, fair enough.
Fair enough.
I mean, the craziness of the internet and people in the world, I don't blame you.
I don't blame you with it.
There's two things that you won't be able to figure out about me.
I mean, you can like look in public records and stuff if like you really want to get into
it.
I don't say my state or my age or my last name because of what my head has been does
for work.
Ah, okay.
Gotcha.
Well, hey, I'm big on making the internet work for you instead of the other way around.
The way that I probably do that the most is my wife and I, we were both off of social
media for years when we got married.
And that actually was fantastic.
And I kind of missed those days.
Sam.
I, it's not that I can't go back, but once I started Truth and Grace counseling, I was
like, I probably should have somewhat of an online presence just for business.
I am making it work better.
And this, I actually on Twitter, I hated Twitter to no end before, but I just say I've made
my own little echo chamber and I realized that, but it's made my life a whole lot easier
that my head doesn't hurt as much as long as I recognize I'm in a echo chamber.
I'm okay.
So that's one way.
And then another way is I don't put any pictures of, of my kids who are the cutest little kids
and I would get all sorts of likes and retweets and stuff, but I don't want them.
I don't, I don't, I don't trust people.
So they're, they're not going to have a very low internet profile.
So I will completely respect you on that.
I understand.
I mean, it's such a valid thing too, because even if, I mean, let's say you have, you know,
a really intense fan and you put down, you know, your kid's name, let's say their name's
like Skylar or something and they see you out and they're like, oh, Skylar.
And then Skylar's like, how do you know my name?
Hi.
Like thinking it's the same person is the person actually knows their name.
And obviously there's a lot of stranger danger that goes into that, but it's just getting
far too easy to be creepy these days if we're not, you know, minding our social media boundaries.
Yeah.
I actually had a guest on here recently.
He's a fascinating conversation that he, he's actually the founder of this website called
reVedit that looks at Reddit post and it can see if your post was shadow banned.
And we were just talking through kind of shadow banning what that means and kind of internet
discourse.
And yeah, but basically what we ended up getting down into is we are people, we need to make
our individual like our real life when you're going to brunch with people, make those relationships
paramount.
Those are more important.
The internet relationships are great.
That's how we're talking.
It's fantastic, but don't let the internet take over your life.
It is not worth it.
Not worth it.
Not worth it at all.
Exactly.
I mean, in 2020, when I left my first business behind, I went completely off social media,
left everything behind, deleted everything and just not having Instagram for that short
while.
I didn't realize how much trying to know that I wouldn't necessarily keep up with the Joneses,
but like hearing all of these cool new products and having those specialized ads and it's like,
oh, wow, when I don't have all of this materialism shoved on my throat pretty much 24 seven,
I don't really want to shop anyways because I like what I have and I'm blessed but I have.
Yeah.
Oh, that's, they know what they're doing.
They absolutely know what they're doing.
So if it wasn't for my podcast mentor, I honestly wouldn't have gotten an Instagram again, but
he is like, you have to like find.
Yeah, it is kind of a necessary evil when you're doing things like this.
Unfortunately, but again, let's wield it for good.
I would rather there be good content on Instagram than just all horrible terrible things.
Yeah.
Which kind of leads into I'm not on Instagram as much.
I think I followed you on Instagram, but I don't remember.
But I know I found you on Twitter and I was curious just with your handle named, which
is the based babe, which I think is a fantastic Twitter handle.
Thank you.
I was wondering if there's any story or kind of what led you into making that handle.
So it was a couple of things initially back in the 2015, like the years right around then,
I own my own business called boundary babe.
I did a lot of work with women helping them with their boundaries, their femininity, trying
to have healthier relationships with others.
Because at the time I was also a psych major and I had gone through a lot of stuff that
helped me really understand boots on the ground wise, how all of that worked.
So I was really able to help people like that.
And then 2020 came and my business being a luxury business kind of it didn't make it
there.
And honestly retrospectively, I'm glad because that space was getting so woke that people
were upset that I was spelling, you know, women's coaching W a sorry W O M a N instead
of W O M X N and like all of this stuff is getting shoved down my throat.
I don't like, you know what I'm out by.
If you're guys going to consistently have these all these problems with me, I'm just
I'm I'm gonna see myself out.
And then I realized kind of took a step back.
I was like, what matters to me the most?
Like what truly are my values?
And I realized that I've always been, you know, I'm kind of mainline conservative.
I've had some, you know, libertarian ask, ask a pay.
But it's always been about family.
It's always been about femininity, faith, freedom.
And my like we had to do presentations when I was in high school.
Because I went through like their career technical education program and we're like,
so what are you going to do with your life?
And I was like, they were expecting like gentle assistant or doctor or nursing practitioner.
And I was like, I want to be a wife and do a lot of volunteer work.
And they were like, why did you take this?
And I was like, because now if my husband gets her, I can fix them.
Yeah.
You know, that's that's so interesting kind of your your discussion there.
And especially with your I like talking to somebody that's in a in a blue state like
you are, because I am the reddest of all the red.
Like I'm in I'm in rural Oklahoma.
Like it it really can't get that much more red like we're the red part of a red state.
So I heard that they have like amazing art museums in Oklahoma.
Is that true?
They have what that amazing art museums?
There are some, especially in Tulsa.
There's some really good ones.
I'm blanking on what the big ones called it's something with it with the G. I can't can't
remember what it is.
But anyways, yeah, there's some great ones.
No, that's that's a great question.
There's there's some good ones in Oklahoma City too.
So yeah, we're not all out in a in a wheat field and you know, there's absolutely nothing.
But yeah, there's some great art.
There's some there's some really cool things in the state.
And what's neat about Oklahoma City and Tulsa is, well, yes, it is more liberal.
There's no way around that.
It's still red.
Like we I believe we're the only state in 2016 to vote all red and the presidential election.
And I know we did again in 2020, but I don't know if we were the only one.
But yeah, it was very conservative.
That being said, I'm generally a harsher critic on conservative states and conservative just
culture, in part because I am I am in a conservative state, I am more conservative, and I care
about conservatives and kind of this culture more.
It means more to me.
So it's kind of like with my kids, I'm going to be more critical on my kids than someone
else's kids.
Yeah, exactly.
With that in real super conservative culture, what you were kind of describing there of
like kind of more of a feminist type of mindset, like you just want to do this to care for
your husband.
What's wrong with you?
You know, that kind of mindset.
Yeah, that happens in blue states, sure.
But it happens here too.
And one in particular instance, we're actually in Sunday school.
So again, we're in Sunday school and rural Oklahoma, that just needs to be said here.
Exactly.
My wife was a teacher at the time.
And at the time we weren't planning on homeschooling our kids and now we are.
But she was saying that she was planning on taking time off of work to be a stay at home
mom, and she said she was going to do that until the kids were older.
So she was planning on like 10 years of being off of out of work.
And we don't expect everybody to say like, oh, everyone has to do that.
So that wasn't the issue.
But it was the shock like, whoa, you're taking 10 years off.
Like that was like the most foreign idea ever in Sunday school in rural Oklahoma.
So these kind of general cultural drifts of feminism and things of that nature, they exist
here that sometimes we think, oh, that happens in California, that happens in New York, that
doesn't happen here.
It does.
It absolutely does.
And in fact, it can be quite more dangerous here in a red state because we kind of have
the blinders on.
We think it can't happen here.
And it does.
It very much does here.
But that's really awesome that your wife is having the opportunity to do that because
that's one of like my personal financial dreams.
Because like right now I'm a homemaker.
And when that, you know, time comes for us to have kids, we are planning on homeschooling.
We're planning on me taking that time off until they can have more of a handle on their
homeschooling.
And I just like helping them work from home while they're doing that.
Because the best part of schooling for me from everything was when I was homeschooled
and my best friends that growing up are homeschooled.
And it was just such an amazing culture and all the amazing things that they got to participate
in.
Is that something with, especially since you had your own homeschooling experience growing
up, is that something you've always wanted to do eventually for your kids or has that
changed over the years?
It's been one of those native, we'll check it out.
Like, what my husband take the lead, let him say what he thinks, kind of leaving it in
his hands kind of things.
But then as more and more and more crazy books were put in the library and more teachers
were having grooming charges against them and more psyops and terrible things going
on or going on, I mean, we were like, there's really only one way to do this if we're gonna
have kids because they're going to be our most important investment in the world.
Like, they're not our property, they belong to God, but also at the same time too, we're
called to be faithful stewards in everything we have from our skin to our kids to our homes
and everything else.
And it felt like it was the only responsible way to do it.
And I know that not everybody is able to make the sacrifices and I know that not everybody
has the privilege.
But I think there's definitely some ways where you can make certain things happen, especially
if you leave in God's hands, and that's what we intend to do, especially because it's
one of those things, you know?
I think for you, what kind of what you're getting at here, you're right.
And I'm big on this too of not a, oh, look at me, I'm homeschooling, I got to stay home
my wife, your family has to look exactly like mine.
No, I don't think that.
What I do think though, is the notion, particularly with women, and I actually have made this
a focus of my of my counseling practice of working specifically with homeschool moms,
because there's so many new homeschool moms out there that are like, oh, crud, there's
bad stuff going on.
And they have the deer in the headlights look like, I can't do this.
I don't have an education in this, I can't teach my kids.
But I think it's just really important to, before you have kids, if you have that ability
to prepare, if it's something you want to do, prepare financially, prepare, you know,
look at some homeschooling curriculum or ask a homeschool mom of what that, what do they
do that works?
Like, don't really already have the curriculum picked out and not even pregnant yet.
But there you go.
Perfect example of.
Wait, like just make the commitment.
If you are ready to make the commitment to do it, make the commitment first, and then
make it happen.
Most of the times you are the limiting factor there and not your circumstances.
And I'm not going to say that's 100%.
But if you truly think you and your husband, it's best for you to homeschool your kids.
They're more than likely as a way to get it done.
You just have to make that commitment.
Exactly.
And I think it's going to be really helpful to you because my sister-in-law, she has two
kids.
I'm an aunt of two and they are, they're just amazing.
My nephew caught a fish for the first time a couple of days ago.
So the whole family's been excited about that.
But she's homeschooling her kids.
And so we hope she'll be able to move closer in the future, kind of homeschool our kids
all together.
Yeah.
That's the beauty of homeschooling too, that I think a lot of parents are starting to
realize you don't have to make it a little miniature public school in your house.
Make it what works.
If you have family nearby, do it together.
If you have friends, trade off, teach different classes, join a co-op.
Like there's all sorts of different ways to do it.
Don't limit yourself into like you have to just have them get your own chalkboard and
have them sit down for eight hours a day and do it exactly like you do at public school.
Exactly.
I'm not trying to throw shade to anyone, but if you're doing the chalkboard and desk
grout and you're doing the, here's the worksheets, do the worksheets.
It has to be kind of like training for nine to five, but inside our own home, if you're
missing the point, you're missing the opportunity and you're missing the experience that it
really could be with connecting with your child.
And I know it can be hard at first because I've helped friends who are homeschoolers.
I've helped, like I've been a homeschooler for a small portion of my education, but I
just think that it's really crucial because I have think, I mean, to a degree of, thankfully,
I've had both sides of like being homeschooled and not being homeschooled.
And when I was in public school, I would go and I would learn things all about like evolution
and like all these things that, you know, are scientific theories, but they don't present
the other side of the theory and everything.
And then after that, I would get home and I would have to sit for five hours reading
about all why the things I just learned for the past eight hours in school were wrong.
And it's like, if you don't program your kids with what the world has to say and think,
then you won't have to deprogram your kids.
That's a great point.
I think you nailed it there that it's the ideologies of the world and not just the bad
teacher, the one rotten apple type of type of concept.
And I want to be careful with that.
Like I know there's great teachers out there.
I have family members that are teachers.
The system is working against them.
But you don't want to put the system just into your home, like you're saying, you can
teach them about, if you're a Christian, teach them about God, like make that a massive part
of their education.
How cool is that?
You have that ability to do it.
And even on the more practical levels with my three-year-old, my daughter, how we're
going to educate her is different than with my one-year-old son.
My daughter loves to go and pick flowers.
Have her on a day when she's, it's nice outside.
We're going to go pick a dandelion and think of all the things we can do with that.
We can look at the science of the dandelion and kind of inspect that.
We can make dandelion the spelling word of the day.
We can look at the grammar, what type of word is dandelion?
We just did that by picking something out of the backyard.
Exactly.
It's limitless what you can do.
So don't limit yourself.
You can even have a little field guide book that you make for yourself.
I've actually gotten into making my own books with book finding.
I'm such a DIY nerd.
But you can press the flower and have, look back at it at the end of the year and look
at all the flowers you want there.
Yeah.
I had another guest on here recently.
She kind of on Instagram goes by a sweet sequels has her own little shop there.
And she talked about that they have a unique setup that they do like a hybrid.
So half the week there at this private school and half the week there at home.
Like again, there's just so many different ways.
And there's, I know that can be overwhelming.
That's the easy part of home or public school or even just normal private school.
Yeah.
They go to school, they get their school list and then they come home and that's it.
So I know that can be overwhelming, but yeah, you can do, you can speak so much truth and
life and fun into your kids.
And that's what I try to get parents to do is realize, no, it's not just this, oh man,
I'm obligated because they're shoving all this ideology down my kid's throat.
Yeah.
Maybe you start there, but let's finish with all the wonderful, beautiful things that are
presented there.
Exactly.
And I feel like sometimes there can be kind of that imposter syndrome.
If you will, when it comes to parents being like, Oh, well, I don't have an education
background.
Yeah.
I'm fortunate because I do actually, I worked in education in a lot of years, but a lot
of parents don't have that kind of experience.
And so they look at themselves and they're like, I'm just a parent.
And it's like, no, you are a parent.
That is a blessing.
Nobody knows your child's better than you do.
And when it comes to all of the different curriculums, they absolutely can be overwhelming.
There's like so much to them.
But because of the fact that you are the parent, you know your child the best.
You know your child's better than anybody else.
And because of that factor, you can go this curriculum with these aspects of it is the
exact way that my child learns.
And so they're not going to be stuck on this topic, not being able to grasp it more fully
because it's in this type of curriculum.
And that way it really helps not only free you up as a parent, but you know that your
child's getting the best education because of the fact that you're the one educating
them.
Yeah.
I just think we're, you're like you said earlier, missing the picture if it's just
a out of fear.
I don't want the LGBTQ whatever agenda shoved on my kid.
That's fine to be a starting place.
And to kind of back up some of the listeners may have heard this from me before.
My wife and I, our starting place was this story we heard where we listened to the, Ali
Beth Stuckey's podcast, this like 2019 or something.
And she shared the story of a public school.
I believe it was in Madison, Wisconsin.
And where they were, I think just socially transitioning this child.
So calling like, I think they even called this child a completely different name.
And I don't even remember which sex of the child this was, but we'll just say for sake
of argument.
We have a little girl and they call your little girl a little boy at school.
And then they go back home and they never told you that they were calling your little
girl a little boy.
And we heard that story like, Oh, no, that doesn't fly.
I don't like that.
And that was the precipice for us to really dig deeper into this.
And while that was our starting point, that's not where it stayed.
It went so much deeper.
And now, yeah, we have all of our curriculum bought to you and we're already doing for my
three year old.
And honestly starting to do with my one year old, we have some different Baptist catechisms
that we're doing with them.
Like my daughter will ask, who made you and she'll say God made me.
And it's awesome.
Like my little three year old is quoting some scripture and things like that.
And that's, that's education.
She's not, she's not quote kindergarten, but we're already educating her and it's awesome.
So exactly.
Don't just live in that fear.
Understand the joy that, that it can really bring.
Exactly.
There's so much good and beautiful out there, especially if you open your mind in your heart
and let God guide you.
Absolutely.
Well, I know we talked just real briefly off air of kind of your, your faith journey and
kind of a spoiler alert for those out there.
It's quite the doozy.
So kind of just start with us a little bit of, yeah, what, what was your faith journey?
What did that, what did that all look like for you?
So I was born to an Irish Catholic single mother in Ireland.
She was originally from Boston.
I am a naturalized citizen.
So before I got on the plane, just in case didn't want me to end up in purgatory.
They made sure I was baptized with some family members at one of the churches in Ireland.
And then I came over to this country with the help of my grandfather's friends, the
kind of days, yes, those kind of days.
And I was baptized in the Boston archdiocese.
Which fun, like super random fact, because it's kind of cool how I always like managed
to be just a couple of steps away from like Kevin Bacon, like greatness kind of thing.
My childhood, my childhood priest, Father Jack was actually when they were doing the,
for like the, you know, how they like anoint the Pope or with the red smoke.
Yeah.
I'm no longer a Catholic.
So I'm not trying to commit like her or anything, but he was in succession to potentially
be the Pope.
Oh, wow.
Which to me is like so wild that like my childhood priest, who were actually going to be naming
our son after in the future, my husband's family tends to make boys.
So we plan for both bunch of holidays.
So yeah.
So he almost became the Pope.
And then when my mom unfortunately ended up getting cancer, passing away, I was left
to be inherited by her older sister who had never wanted kids and made that really apparent
everyday existing.
And she basically told me, oh, if you're a really good girl and you do all these things,
you can see your dead mom again.
And I was like, I'm seven.
Of course I want to see my dead mom again.
That's my mom.
And so because of that, I kind of, if you ask her version of the story, she says that
she offered me to get me a babysitter or to go with them.
And I was in survival mode and I was a people pleaser and I was like, you go to three meetings
every week and you're gone for a long time.
It's going to be really expensive to keep me around and not stick me in foster care
if you like have to keep paying for babysitters.
So I guess I'll just go with you.
And so I go.
And at this point, my mom was still alive, but she was in the hospital.
And there was so much love bombing that took place.
It was insane, like the amount of love bombing.
But because I was seven, I just thought everybody was really nice and everybody really liked
me.
And I was like, okay, there's a bunch of free candy and people being nice to me.
Of course.
I love it.
I'm going to get all this candy and get to my dead mom again.
It's great.
And so I went through that.
I went through kind of their hierarchical steps.
First ever came an unbaptized publisher, which is basically Jehovah's Witness Speak for
if I talk to you about Jehovah, I get to count 15 minutes or however long we spoke on a little
sheet and get a little pat on the head from the elders.
Yeah.
And then after that, I got baptized at nine years old because I was running out of things
I could do, but like in that hierarchy kind of.
And then after that, I auxiliary pioneered, which is doing 50 hours every month, going
around indoor knocking, did that several, several times.
So imagine me being in high school and not only holding down a part-time job, which was
like three days a week, but going to three meetings a week.
And then also doing 50 hours of that community service on top of doing the other community
service, which was called the regional building committee, which is going around and doing
all of this like unpaid labor for them to build more kingdom halls and do stuff like
that.
Pretty tiring and probably explains why I can actually relax.
Goodness.
Well staying on honor roll, of course, because anything else was just unacceptable.
I brought less than glory for God.
So that is, you know, I've heard of Jehovah's Witness and no one a little bit of study, but
it says work based to the core as it can get.
Yep.
God bless.
Yeah.
So you're caught in that.
You're just working your way to heaven, so to speak.
Then what?
How do you get out of that?
So I got in trouble for kissing a boy because I was a little tramp in their eyes and I had
to go and sit in front of three men a bit older than yourself and tell them, oh yes,
will not boy kiss me.
I did kiss him back.
Well, my uncle were on either side of me.
And then when I did other teenage things, I got more trouble because I was trying to
figure things out because I was like, okay, this is what this says, but this is what this
says.
But like other things are telling me this.
So I was like trying to figure it out, well still managing to be a good noodle because
I also, even though I never asked for it, was annoyingly the person that all of the other
parents held their kids up to be.
Why can't you be more like free to, I'm like, no, your kids awesome just the way they are.
Let them live.
I didn't ask for this and then everybody hated me and I was like, well, this is awful.
And so I thought, so because of those transgressions during my teenage years, I wasn't allowed
to pioneer to 70 hours a month every month for an entire year.
I wasn't allowed that privilege.
And I had based my entire like post high school experience off of that.
I was going to pioneer for a year and then I was going to go and get some more like training
on education and do some other stuff.
And I had gotten to that point and I was like, I can do it.
I can do it.
Like it's going to be great.
And they're like, no, because you kissed a boy a couple of years ago.
So I have to do still things to your trap.
And I'm like, oh, well, that's not cool.
No, thank you.
Like, like he was cute.
It was my birthday.
I don't know.
No, but actually like my first kiss was literally a Taylor Swift song.
It was like on the riverbank of like my aunt's property as the sun was setting on my 13th
birthday.
Can't make that stuff.
That's awesome.
A boy who was so southern I couldn't pronounce his last name.
I wasn't sure what he signed.
But anyway, I signed.
So I finally kind of just throw myself into like work post high school, do a bunch of
volunteer work, do what I can do to kind of prove myself that like a morally of being
able to be a pioneer because a lot of the brothers would only look would only look at
you to be potential marriage material if you were a pioneer.
So I was like, I want to get married.
I want to get myself a husband after pioneer after like do all the things.
And during that year, I was just like, nah, because my aunt got really sick and had some
severe mental health problems.
And it was just my uncle believed her that she was a prophetess and that she was going
to bring about Armageddon.
And I was like, no, I don't even have to have taken that one high school psychology class
to tell you that she's having a break from reality.
So I had to help her with that.
And the more I saw this and the more I saw the interplay with the elders and how everybody
was handling things and just watching me be the one little teeny bop or teenage girl who
somehow got like shoved into this position without, you know, giving me the love and
protection that I desperately needed.
I was like, this isn't a place for me.
And I just felt so haunted by it.
And so I was like, well, maybe maybe if I pioneer and I go out and I try to prove that
Jehovah exists to everybody else.
I'll prove it to myself.
Maybe.
And I finally got the opportunity.
I even got to do cart witnessing, which for those of you who don't know, it's like a really
big deal.
You have to be more special than a pioneer to be able to go and stand by the carts and
do the witnessing and being like, hey, sir, business man, I know you're on a business
meeting, but here take this.
Just like shove a magazine in your hands.
And the thing is a lot of the people who are Jehovah's Witnesses are lovely people who
are honestly being spiritually oppressed.
So when I say my experience, there's two things I don't want people to take away.
I don't want them to take away that I was some sort of victim.
I'm a survivor.
I survived and I escaped that call.
And I also don't want them to be mean and nasty to Jehovah's Witnesses because a lot
of them don't know what they're doing.
They're doing the best that they can and doing what they're told because a lot of times their
family is in there or they have a lot of reasons for being stuck in there because when you
grow up in it or even when like you can't go out and have friends that aren't part of
your religion.
And it's their way of controlling you even further so that when you eventually do leave,
if you do get to leave, thankfully there's been a record numbers, but you lose everything.
I lost my best friend of 10 years.
I lost my hairdresser.
I mean, let me tell you, I did stay to get my final round highlights.
I like match that perfectly because I don't trust a lot of people with my hair.
But I lost all of my little friends.
I lost all of my babysitting clients.
I lost everything.
And then because of the fact that I hadn't grown up around my family, it was just, I
didn't really have anybody except for my husband because the way this whole thing worked was
I was pioneering, I was doing great.
And then I met my husband and I was like, I mean, this is obviously the man I want to
marry.
He is the most Christlike man I've ever met.
He has an amazing work ethic.
He is so hilarious.
And I mean, he's gorgeous.
Like, like I used to hear how like more gorgeous than the 13 year old on the river bank though.
Yes.
I met him that summer before I started pioneering.
And I was just like, oh my gosh, I walked over to him and mind you, as a Joe, this is
aren't actually Christian, but like, there's a lot of similarities in the social awkwardness
of young actual Christian girls and young Joe's witness girls.
And I had that.
And I walked over to him because he was picking up my favorite camper and I was like, hi,
I'm Miss Frida.
And he's like, hi, Miss Frida.
And he like immediately made fun of me and I was like, yes, I'm going to marry him.
And I did.
So like it worked out.
But so we started like being friends and I was like, I really need to see about the hold
your whole witness thing.
Because if I go this way, I'm going to lose everything.
So I was a bit afraid to go that way, but the more we got to know each other, the more
he held space for me emotionally and held space for my growth and my healing and everything
else, the more it was undeniable that it was it was inevitable.
So I was pioneering.
I was kind of fitting on my like, here's, here's the thing.
When you're escaping your call, I'm sure you already know this, which is for the audience.
You're in ultimate survival mode.
You do things that you were not proud of, but you do them to survive.
So yes, I was as a 20 year old sneaking out my window to Miranda Lambert music, jumping
over the thorn bushing, talking, rolling into his passenger seat because I wasn't allowed
to date him.
So as a 20 year old, I was going to do what I was going to do.
And I was fibbing on my time cards.
And I mean, that's not a good thing objectively, but it's what I had to do to make sure that
I would be physically and financially and all the other types of safe.
And so it was, it was brutal.
How long of a process and this kind of kind of limbo of sorts that I'm having to fake this,
but I'm dating my to be husband over here.
Like how long of a process did that take?
I've had six months.
The worst six months of my life.
To get out on Saturday nights, I pretended I was learning.
I mean, I knew enough Portuguese to pretend that I was learning Portuguese and going to
the Portuguese.
It's not good.
I'm doing a lot better morally and ethically now that I can afford the luxury.
I'm not going to be a part of the moral aspects.
But yeah, so it was a whole thing.
And that was kind of when I kind of proved to myself, if I haven't been struck down by
lightning yet, if I haven't been caught yet, if I haven't been anything yet, then I don't
think Joe was actually a real God, you know?
And what really hit the nail in the head for me was they have these things called circuit
assemblies, which is when a bunch of congregations from a certain area get together.
And all of these people, like they give like these big important speeches and all sorts
of stuff like that.
So I'm going to that and I'm not paying attention because I just, I can't.
At this point, I can finally hear the propaganda that's breaking through my brainwashing.
And I'm like, this is so uncomfortable.
I think I'm going to throw up because I'm going to like fast out and like have a panic
attack.
And somebody walked up to me and they were like, Hey, I heard your story about you and
your aunt and how you're being such an amazing person by taking care of her.
I think there's a lot of people in our, you know, in this organization that have parents
could really learn from your example.
Meanwhile, I was doing all of this stuff that I was raised to believe wasn't what you were
supposed to be doing.
And I was like, me?
And he's like you.
And I was like, Oh, and I've been like writing for like the local paper and like, then they
wanted me to like write for the awake magazine, which they have two magazines and kind of go
around and pass out the watch on the lake.
And I was like, you want me to do what?
And that's when I knew that if not the big head honcho from Bethel himself, that if you
asked him, Joe was witnesses, we'd probably tell you he could walk on water.
If he didn't know what I was doing, if you didn't have some like magical sense of like
figuring out how I was not being the best noodle I could be, then that's when kind of
the facade of everything just kind of came crumbling down.
And I was like, yeah, nah.
And it got to the point where one day I was found out.
I had my they were coming out because we were late coming back.
And that Sunday morning and I was like, I'm going to be in so much trouble.
And then my stiletto just fell out on the floor and I was like, kind of grab at it.
Well, they were like looking in the car and I was like, Oh my God, Oh my God, it's over.
But then I was like, nah, you know what?
It's it's over.
And so they made me they dragged me before the elders because the thing is there's a
couple ways to get out.
You can be Pima, which is physically and mentally out.
You can be Pomi.
These are just like weird acronyms.
It makes more sense, but it's easier to type out on the social media.
But physically out mentally and like your disfellowship, but you're trying to come back
because you can either get dissociated or disfellowship dissociated is when you break
up with them.
Disfellowship is when they kick you out.
Okay.
And so I was initially I was just going to kind of like run away a little bit.
I was just going to like stop there.
It was not fun.
And they dragged me before them and they were like asking all these really intimate intimate
questions like questions that if you imagine like guys like locker room talk about how
a certain thing went down, you would not be that cross.
And I'm just this 20 year old girl sitting behind like in front of these three men who
are on like their fifties and sixties with both of my aunt and uncle next to me.
And I'm just like, I don't believe in Jova anymore.
I don't know if I believe in God at this point.
I have gone through all of this.
I've done my best to do all of the things I can do.
I'm here.
I'm carpenters thing.
I'm pioneering.
I'm writing for the awake.
I'm doing all of this stuff and giving my entire life to the organization and giving
my entire life to God and I'm not getting anything back.
And I'm not even getting good, happy serotonin.
Like I'm getting nothing.
I'm getting pain.
I'm getting frustration.
I'm getting lies and I'm not here for it.
So I think I'm going to leave and I'm going to go be with my, you know, my future husband
and that's just going to be that.
And they kept crossing and crossing and crossing it to a point where I felt like because of
who they were, I had to answer their questions, although I realized now that I didn't have
to answer their questions that I was a scared 20 year old girl.
Sure.
And a scared 20 year old girl too with this is, this is all you know.
This is, this is your life.
So that, that makes sense.
Yeah.
And so I answered them and then they like kicked us out of the room.
We sat in like the main hall because they have like a main hall and they have like kind
of a little back conference room.
They had a conference about it.
They were like, no, we're kicking her out.
And at the end I just said, it's been nice knowing you.
I love you guys because I meant it because yes, I might have had wildly different worlds
of you than they did, but I still cared about them and hope that their lives and their wives
and their kids and everything worked out the way the way, like the way they wanted it to
be.
Even though they had put me in the situation, even though they didn't particularly help
when I ended up having to, you know, 50, 150 my aunt when she thought she was calling about
Armageddon and I was talking them from inside a closet.
And it was a whole thing and it was so brutal that I was like, I think the only person that
can protect me is me and I'm going to go do that.
And so I got this fellowship and nobody could talk to me.
It was a whole like a full on, it was like a medieval shunning.
And I was like, it is what it is.
And then people would come over to like talk to my aunt and uncle over like their friends
with them and they'd be like, come back to Jehovah.
We miss you.
And it's like, you didn't speak to me early for like six years.
Like the past six years we have barely spoken.
But now all of a sudden I matter so much to you because I'm trying to protect myself.
And it was always the same like older like brothers that had previously gotten disciplined
for doing sketchy things with their stepkids.
And then like the elder who was initially on my first judicial committee, which is what
like the committee is called when they like meet and they're like, so you're bad.
Tell us how bad you are.
I was out dancing with some of my girlfriends from high school because I was trying to like
meet new people and just like make friends and stuff.
And she of them came in and he was like grinding and dancing on my friend and I'm like, what?
What?
So I like toppled on the shoulder and I'm like, hey, what's up?
And he looked like he saw a ghost and was just like dying.
And I was like, yeah, I know why I'm here.
I can be here.
I don't have to play by your rules, but you do.
You're literally within the top part of the hierarchy of your congregation.
Why are you here?
And so during that point, I was just fellowshiped and it was really hard because my uncle weren't
really talking to me.
Even though I lived there because they were so like hyper.
I'm sure there's like a psychology word for it.
There were like helicopter parents pretty much.
And they wouldn't let me get my license.
They wouldn't let me do anything so I could go away and get out and move on.
And that made it even harder when they came to me one day and they were like, the elders
told us that if you're not going to serve Jehovah in this house that we need to make
sure you go away and that you go and leave this house and don't live here anymore.
And I'm like, what?
Okay.
But because of the fact that they found so much on education, they found so much on like
they themselves individually found so much on me getting my license and not helping me
have any of the resources that most normal families would help their kids have so that
they could like progress in the chair when they weren't desperately afraid that you'd
leave them.
I was just at a loss.
I was like, I don't know what I'm going to do.
So I was homeless for a little bit.
I like went from couch to couch to couch.
And then my father in law allowed me to move in.
And we had just gotten engaged because my husband, he was like, okay, if you're leaving
literally everything behind for me, which he made sure he's like, I love you very much.
I will do whatever you need me to.
If you can't leave, if you don't feel like leaving is the right thing to do, I will understand
that and you will be the love of my life that got away.
Just it is what it is.
And he never forced me to make any choices or anything when I was uncomfortable.
At any point in our relationship and still 10 years, like it'll be 10 years next September
to this day, he still hasn't.
He's just loved me and provided for me and protected me.
And it was such a stark contrast to how I grew up.
And so I'm sure you're you're getting to this, but just far in the story, incredible
of a story as it is.
It almost reminds me of kind of the Scientology stories, you know, of just people getting
out and it was a cult and it really affected me.
Incredibly powerful, but often for many reasons and reasons I couldn't blame them.
I'm out of religion completely.
No more.
I'm out of here.
If this is what God is, I don't want any part of it.
So how does that work?
I get out of this cult where this is just shoved down my throat.
How do you how do you how do you find God after that?
What's the next step after that?
I so obviously you with your career and everything know Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.
So the bottom tier, I got the bottom tier of survival set in.
I had a place to live.
I had a job.
I had food.
I had what I needed.
Then I worked up kind of the pyramid.
Maybe an editing like a little thing.
You have better stuff.
Yeah.
Not trying to tell you how to live your life.
But yeah, so I kind of got that dialed in.
And when I felt like I could shake my contacts out before I went to bed at night and actually
breathe, that's when I started crying.
And I didn't quite know how to but my heart knew.
And so I drifted back to my Catholic days.
I drifted back to you know the prayers that my mom would get on your knees right in front
of the big portrait of Jesus that lay over my bed and our gorgeous penthouse over looking
find my pot and would pray.
And I went back to that.
I found those words in my heart again and I said them because I knew that no matter what
was going on with me, if God was the real, if God was out there, I mean now I know that
he is very much but just like where I was back then kind of that his plans for the
world for myself if I was fortunate enough to be kinder among them were so much bigger
than anything I was going through.
It was so much bigger.
It was so much better.
And what was on the other side of that was so much more crucial and poignant than anything
I'd ever come up against.
And so I knew that all it took was like the faith size of a mustard seed, which is like
super super teeny.
And if I could have that and if I could hold that in my heart, the good things would happen
that I would feel that love that I would feel that protection and I would feel that safety
because my son seems like getting in my eyes and it's making my eyes water, which is not
a coping mechanism, I promise you.
Sorry about that.
And so I knew that if I just did a little bit and gave a little bit that he would give
a little bit.
Can we actually pause right here because I literally am having like, I am so sorry.
It genuinely is sunscreen.
It will be right back as I had faith this item of mustard seed that scripture kind of always
stuck with me in my heart.
And I never had hatred for God.
I just had more confusion because the God that they taught me the chauvin was was not
the God that I was brought up with for the first five years of my life, believing what
Jesus was.
I vivid vivid memories skipping around my little Catholic preschool, the little Catholic
Montessori preschool that was right across the street and going, you know, Jesus loves
me this I know because the Bible tells me so.
I love Jesus and I feel like it would be so easy for anyone coming out of Jerusalem
and says to really hate God.
That's one of my biggest issues I have with Jehovah's Witnesses.
I mean, there's a lot of theological things, there's a lot of other things, there's a
lot of personal past experience things, a lot are what you're mostly held from things
to the heart.
But I have this real to be like, okay, I'm not here to tell you what religion you're
supposed to be, but just whatever you do, please don't become a Jehovah's Witness because
that will hurt your relationship with God.
And because of all of the horrible things I've seen during my time there and the horrible
things that I researched that kind of clicked my head afterwards.
Like there were certain pictures that they had in their, you know, publications.
And I was like, why does this picture of Jesus make me feel so uncomfortable?
Like it's a picture of Jesus, is there something wrong with me?
Is there something wrong with like my hot posture that I have to correct?
Then I'm just like, I don't know, doing something bad because like that's where your mind goes
to when a picture of Jesus makes you feel uncomfortable.
And then I found that same picture after I came out.
And if you put that picture up to a mirror, it's literally the head of a demon.
Yeah, and that's not the only picture that's like that.
It's not the only satanic thing in the religion.
I know you're Baptist, but Baptist have communion, right?
Yeah, so we don't, it kind of depends on the church.
We do communion at my church every week, but yeah, we do communion.
So with the communion we offer in the wine, you might have, have you heard of the memorial,
the one holiday Job was witnessed this house?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
A lot of people have been invited throughout the years.
That celebration is literally, so part of it is a theological misrepresentation and
a part of it is satanic, honestly.
So the theological representation is they believe that 144,000 isn't chosen out of the
12 tribes of Judah, but instead shows in out of random Job is witnesses that like have
a mental calling, vision, dream kind of thing.
And it's 144,000 cents 1914.
And because of that, if you're not a part of the 144,000, you take the communion, you
hold it in your hands on like the plate because they use like unleavened like wafer cracker
kind of thingies, but they're different from the one that I grew up within the Catholic
church.
So they're like slightly different, but basic idea.
And you take that and you pass that.
So you basically go through the act of refusing communion on the one holiday that Jehovah's
Witnesses have, and then they read the scriptures and then you do the same with the line.
Wow.
That's that is so, yeah, you can really see the satanic type of things that go into that
because that is the, like I said, the exact opposite of what we would celebrate.
Yeah.
And regardless of your denomination, if you're in Christianity, you observe communion by
taking it and it becoming part of you, not by passing it forward and rejecting it.
And it always struck me as weird that like it was such a somber energy.
It was more funeral like then more somber than sacred, I guess, because you'd think,
okay, tonight is the night specifically set aside to commemorate what Jesus has done for
us, that he gave his life and that, you know, God the Father, yeah, so that he gave his
only begotten son, the only son directly created by him, that we might be saved, that we might
have the gift of eternal, you know, depending on like different theological points, but
like that we have a chance and I don't know more like no matter how much where I'm perfect,
as long as you know, we do the things that the Bible tells us to do, you'd think there
would be some happiness in that.
You'd think there'd be some like reverence and like sacredness, not some somber you're
going to like a funeral ishness.
And that's how it always was.
Well, I think that's something that you get into with, I think it's part of what makes
Christianity stand out as a whole.
Obviously there's different theological beliefs and differences and denominations, but it
isn't a workspace religion.
It's faith-based, it's not about, and in fact I was just on a guest on another podcast
this morning and it used a great phrase of, it's not what you know, it's who you know,
it's that you know Christ.
That's what the celebration is around.
It's not about anything you did, it's that he did and we love him and we praise him for
saving us despite us not being justified.
And yeah, that's celebratory.
It's thank God for saving me and not a, well, I'm not good enough.
I can see that somber tone.
That is intriguing.
It felt like New Year's mixed with a funeral.
But like kind of like a military funeral.
If you've ever been to like a military funeral, you kind of know the difference where it's
like a bit more like, I have a military family background.
My grandfather fought in World War II on the web canal and our family lineage with military
history, it's all the way back to the Revolutionary War where my great times 10 grandfather warned
about the British coming.
Paul Revere.
Wow.
Not a part of him.
Yes.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah, no, you can see that kind of to your point there though that it's very regimented,
very ritualistic and that kind of sense.
But yeah, not a lot of joy, not much joy.
It's you're awful.
And yeah, there's a piece when we start looking at scripture.
If you look at the law, you're looking through Leviticus through the Ten Commandments.
There is a piece there of the law that shows, yep, you can't do that.
You know that whole honor your mother and father think you probably back talked at some
point.
You can't do this on your own.
And that's a good thing.
That's that brokenness of showing, yep, you're right.
I can't do this.
I do need a savior.
And that points me to the cross, which is fantastic that we show I can't do this.
But guess what?
Christ did it for me.
And that's beautiful.
That is a beautiful coming together.
But it almost seems here, Jehovah's Witness, it's first off, you have a worst version
of the law to begin with.
And that's it.
You're terrible.
Work your way up.
Maybe you make it, but probably not.
That's not very encouraging.
Yeah, it wasn't.
And it was just, it was really hard to kind of fit into it growing up because for being
a religion, like that was also like very clickish.
I mean, I was kind of just one of those like a teeny bopper little cats that was like nice
to everybody as much as I'd been.
And then like everybody else was like to a degree was nice to me.
Except for like this one friend of me I had who I thought we were friends because I was
naive.
I was, I was a sweet, sweet summer child.
And so I told her, I was like, I don't know about Friskes.
And then immediately she went and told the elders because it was one of those religions
where it was kind of like, it was actually, I had a talk last night with my friend, Justin,
who, he was in prison for about 15 years.
And so it's kind of like, if an inmate has information about another inmate and they
don't tell the guards, then they get massively punished.
And that was just striking similarity to my experience that I was like, wait, whoa, that
was crazy.
Because if I didn't go and tell somebody if I knew something, like this girl who like
kissed another boy from a different one, a relation in the library of the kingdom hall,
that like, I would get in trouble if they found out I knew about it.
This is real, realty based on relevance.
And so it always felt like everybody was looking at me, everybody knew things.
Like, I remember once when I was trying to figure things out and kind of toe back in
kind of when I was fans sitting in my, like when I was 20 before I met my husband, I remember
I was kind of in a relationship with this other guy and he wanted to shake me on a street
art tour in New York, except the problem there, there were, there were many problems with
that if you have a fully developed brain.
But if you don't, and you were raised in very, very sheltered environment, you don't see
the problem, you only see the fact that, oh no, Bethel is in New York.
What happens if somebody sees me and spots me and tells my parents?
It doesn't matter that I'm 20, what if they tell my parents?
I remember we finally got to New York.
I had told them that I was hanging out with some Bethelites that had come down and I was
going to be at my friend's house and I hid my Bible underneath my trundle bed.
Not my best moment, but you know, it makes for an interesting story.
We get there finally to New York after like taking a small break and like sleeping in
a New Jersey parking lot in the car and Jesse's there two jobs and this is doing car windows.
And I was like, they found me, they know.
I was a significantly paranoid child.
Yeah.
I'm sure your background, you can see why.
Sure.
That to somebody that's on the outside like, wow, yeah, you're really making too much of
that, that I've had Jehovah's Witness at my door, like that's common.
But to you, that makes all the sense in the world because that was not safe.
You don't feel safe.
So it felt real, felt like that's, they're really going to come and get me.
Yeah.
I like hid behind him as we were like passing.
I was like, they don't know me, they can't tell.
I tried to like put on like, I like, you know how the chameleons just do that thing and
then I also learned different color.
I tried to like tighten up and like do that thing and I'm like, no, I'm a worldly person.
You don't know me.
Yeah.
Now, now since you've kind of been out of this, it's been several years now.
Yeah.
Do you feel your faith, and I don't mean this in any type of disparaging way.
We all have different doubts at certain times.
Do you feel some of those old doubts that kind of creep back up because of your experience
or do you almost kind of feel the opposite that that your past experience has just really
fortified your faith throughout the years?
Depending like right now, my answer would be very different than three months in or three
years in where I was like, I honestly don't really care who knows this, but I was like
diagnosed with CPSJ because of all of like the Jovas and stuff.
And because of that, I would have like really bad panic attacks and I would wake up in the
middle of the night sweating and screaming that like Armageddon was going to come get
me and I was going to die at Armageddon because the last thing my own uncle said to me before
they kicked me out of the house and Kyle came and picked me up because they had assaulted
me and I couldn't go to the fullest and be like, yeah, they assaulted me because it would
just be a whole thing was your mom's going to be so mad at us that we let you die at
Armageddon because of the fact that you're abuse of trash.
And so because of that, I used to wake up screaming, go, oh my God, Armageddon is going
to get me, but in my late teens, I automatically kind of thought I was going to die at Armageddon
anyway, as I wasn't good enough.
Who was God to love me?
Nobody loved me or anything.
And so because of that, I was just like, but then I kind of just pushed it away, like
pushed it away, got through it.
Then now the only time I really had an issue like that was right before I started my podcast
and I had to ask some more like spiritually mature friends to see if this really was what
it was.
But I had actually experienced some demonic oppression right before I started my podcast
because I would just be going about my life, getting ready for the podcast and all sorts
of things.
And I'd hear, show.
And I was like, what the heck?
Like what?
And it happened numerous times.
It didn't matter if my husband was home, it didn't matter if he wasn't home, it didn't
matter what I was doing, which I'm dead, it wasn't anything.
And so I just hungered down and prayed and read the Bible way more because I was like,
okay, no, but it's definitely fortified my beliefs that I'm on the right track with trusting
Jesus and trusting the Bible.
And for some reason, the way I'm going about it now just feels so much more natural.
I think it's what I should be doing as opposed to back when I was in the thick of it, which
you always want to says.
Yeah.
No, I think that's great.
And completely makes sense why there will be some lasting effects from your time.
And I would imagine those, some of those to a degree with some of the scars will be there
forever.
You're human and we don't just forget those times.
But it's exciting to see on your end of that faith being fortified of being able to have
those relationships to, hey, I'm struggling right now and helping point you in the right
direction.
Yeah.
That's incredible.
And it definitely points back to the Creator that we believe that when he saves us, he keeps
us.
We never leave his hand.
Exactly.
I think that's so, so powerful and so beautiful that in those weak moments, he's not exactly.
It's just like the Apostle Paul said, for when I am weak, that that's when, you know,
God strengthens me and I'm the strongest.
Yes.
Absolutely.
So and that's very much been my experience.
Even the way I got saved the second time around, because a couple of years ago, I will have
a chronic illness.
And I was supposed to go on my first business trip and I was so excited because I'm still
relatively on the younger side of like business things.
And I was like so amped and then I called my doctor because I was experiencing some
weird symptoms and she's like, you need to go to the hospital.
And I'm like, but I have a flight at this time and I get to stay at the fancy resort
and the company's paying for it.
And I don't want to miss out.
And she's like, no, you got to do otherwise you're going to like faint and pass out on
the airplane.
And I was like, fine.
Thankfully, we very much had that relationship where I could be a little bit of a patch on
child and she could be like, no, this is what you're doing.
I'm like, okay.
She got her dream job.
So she's no longer my doctor, but she's amazing.
And so I went to the hospital and they made me start and they kept telling me, oh, you
maybe can go home tomorrow.
You can go home tomorrow.
Maybe you can go home tomorrow on and on for a week.
And I was telling them, maybe I can go home tomorrow.
I offered to zoom in.
It was a whole thing.
I was so excited.
And they were like, no, you shouldn't zoom in.
You're literally in the hospital.
I'm like, okay, fine.
And then they got mad at me for not staring in.
But anyways, and so while I was in there, I was sleeping, but I had woken myself up because
I was crying in my sleep because I was in so much pain.
It was, it was the worst.
And then all of a sudden I see this, like, if you're not a Christian, this is going to
sound crazy.
But if you truly believe, like, I'll let you make your own mind up about what happened.
I saw this bright light and I had never seen a light that bright before and it didn't seem
to have a point of origin.
And I was like, what the heck is happening?
Especially because I wasn't supposed to be there.
I wasn't supposed to be in my hospital room because they just kept telling me, oh, maybe
you can go in a mirror.
And so the light came closer and it said in this voice that I've never kind of heard a
voice quite like this before.
Would you like to pray together?
And then when they, because the thing is with the way the light was, I couldn't make out
if it was a man, if it was a woman, if it was what it was, what they asked if I would
like to pray.
And I said, yes, I would like that very much.
And so we prayed together.
And then I felt this peace that I had never felt before since I was maybe a very young
child.
I had finally felt that peace of God that is talked about in the scriptures.
And when I was ready to look, I was experiencing it in that moment and I was going to look
up and thank that person or the light or whatever it was.
And by that time, it had disappeared entirely.
It had just vanished.
And I don't know what it was.
The jury's still out.
But I mean, now I'm aggrieved through and through, more fortified and going strong
than ever before the past few years.
I think that just continually where your focus is and where your faith is.
If my faith is in, this is kind of a silly example, but around these parts called football
is a big deal.
If my faith is in, oh, you went in the football game and that's it, then that's my God.
It's not a very good God.
Like if they lose, then I'm kind of in trouble.
Your faith, your God could be Jehovah.
We can make that.
But we've kind of shown that that's not a very good God.
That's the basis of why being in depth and scripture, knowing more about who God is,
being in a community of believers that can help spur us on towards God.
That it's not about what I have done here.
It's about who I love, who I'm serving.
Absolutely.
Awesome.
Awesome story.
I think that there's so many different winds and turns.
And honestly, I'm kind of curious of this.
Have you considered doing anything further with your story of a book or something of that
nature?
The thing is, we're friends, so I'll give you the fully transparent answer.
Not the first version of Ossamina.
I definitely, because my story is wild from the day I was born.
And it's one of those things where every time I go and I try to sit down and I try to write
it, I try to find that break in point.
Like, you know, if you've ever really written anything, and I just, I can't make it work.
I can't like, I feel like if I ever get to the point financially where I can hire a ghost
writer and just have some really solid conversations with that would be like, this is what happened
to ask me anything.
This is what happened to ask me anything that I'd be able to, with their help turn something
out that would be encouraging and interesting.
And I mean, it's me.
So I don't want to say fascinating because I'm not like, I'm fascinating.
But like, other people say it is.
So it's one of those things where it's like, is it?
It lends itself.
If a path becomes open to do something like that, awesome.
I wouldn't turn it out.
I wouldn't not consider it.
But at this point, I just trying to get one is a bit tricky.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm sure I won't be the last person to ask you.
It just is a on outside looking.
And yeah, there's just so, so much and sharing your story on here is awesome.
But like you're saying.
more to it. And that book format could be a better way to hash some of those things out.
Now, I know it's way easier for me to say, yeah, write a book. But to actually do that
is a whole other venture. But no, hey, if it was, and the weird thing is, I have written
some stuff before and it feels like it's easier to go with something I can heavily research
as opposed to something I've heavily lived through. And obviously, I love your very
entire thing. It's my life. But I don't know. Does that make sense?
Yeah, no, it does. It does. And there's definitely a more, obviously, an extremely personal angle
to this too, which it's impossible for you to be completely unbiased writing your story.
Like, you're going to be as biased as possible. You lived it. Whereas you're researching something,
yeah, you're just reporting. You're looking those things up. So no, I totally get what you're
saying with that. I feel like, especially with research is more you can sink your teeth into
versus having lived experience, especially if you have been through a lot of traumatic things.
There's missing pages. There's kind of like, this is your life story. Here are some pages
that your brain tore out on you without asking for permission. Yeah, yeah. No, I could definitely
say that. But yeah, maybe one day you'll get that ghostwriter or whatever. And I would be very
interested in reading that. Should that day come? I'm also going to be doing a,
I'm letting, for my birthday month coming up, I'm letting two of my best friends,
Morris and Sarah, take over my stream. And they're going to ask me a ton of questions.
And it should be a really good time. So do you have me, if there's any questions that you want
them to ask me? And I'll make sure I put that in. So it's at the base of my Twitter. So.
Yeah, I think that's, that's great for, for anyone that's curious,
definitely send that her way. Now, one thing I'd like to end on with, with most of my guests on
here is again, just some more of that active type of tone. You had some very active things that you
have done throughout your life. What are some just real practical things that those listening
in the audience could, could maybe do to make some type of impact in their life? Does anything
come to mind? So there's kind of three things that I would land on there. The first thing to make an
active impact in your life is definitely to be in his word as often as you can. Because when
you're in his word as often as you can, they, it's easier to have those words transcribed on your
heart. Yeah. And that way God and our love for God is able to show through all of our actions.
And through all of the things that we do as we're getting, you know, closer to him.
The second thing I would recommend is using public square. It's an app I honestly recently
downloaded it. I use some of the information off of it, like on their website. I feel like, oh,
this is good brand. But really looking at when it comes to voting with your dollar, where are
those dollars going to? Yeah, it's definitely a hot topic right now with the whole target thing and
the fact that I as a basic light girl can't shop a target anymore because of the horrible things
that are doing is a bit tricky. But it's what my husband told me to do. And it's what I feel is
right in my soul. So that's what we're doing. So just looking at those, you know, kind of the boycotts
that seem like they can make the most impact, you don't have to boycott everything. It's impossible.
And some of them are easier than others because with Bud Light, you have a lot more.
You have a lot more choices. You have whiskey, you have tequila, you have the option to just not
drink at all. You know, all sorts of different beers. But with target, sometimes it feels a bit
more inconvenient. But one of the things I like doing when it comes to that is looking at the
brands that actually do support the change that you want to see in the world. And I'm fortunate
where actually I made another new friend on Twitter. His name is Rob. He owns his own coffee company.
It's called North Arrow Coffee. And they give 15% of all of their profits to pro-life causes,
to pregnancy centers, to help those women to know that, you know, I feel like it's easy to get back
to the corner and think that something's your only option, especially considering my life journey.
But the work that they do over there to help those pregnancy centers, to help those moms and
those babies make sure that they get what they need is so crucial. And on top of it, they have a great
product. Like, my bestie has never, ever, ever, like, gotten super hyped up about a decaf coffee.
I mean, I'm kind of like the dust before decaf crowd myself. But she said it was the most flavorful
brew she's ever had. So if she feels that way about the decaf coffee, just imagine the regular
coffee. It is absolutely delicious. So that's, you know, North Arrow Coffee.com. And if you use
code for that, F-R-E-D-A, you can actually save 10% off yourself.
There we go. Not only some good things to think about, we have a super practical one that we
even save you a little bit of money. So fantastic. And I think your points there are really well
taken. And I really like your approach there that, hey, like, that target boycott that's going on
right now, that's, that's the, that's probably one of the bigger ones I've seen in some time.
And we actually had not been there for, for a little while. And I try not to be like a
holier than that type of person. But we saw things about some chest binders that they had like a
year or two ago. Yeah, no, out of there. And all that being said, yeah, you're not going to be able
to do any and everything. And News Flash, most of the bigger companies, they probably hate your
guts, even if they don't say it. Like that's just kind of the reality. So finding, not just boycotting
things, but finding things that are actually doing good things. Public Square app is wonderful.
It's a great idea to get involved with some local businesses that are have very similar values,
North Arrow Coffee. Hey, definitely encourage everyone to put that down in the description,
check them out. Yeah, that's just one quick thing that if your dollar's not doing perfect
everywhere else, at least we're doing something here. Exactly. I think that that's just real,
real practical good advice there. Plus, I feel like sometimes when it comes to
making a practical switch, it's harder when you feel like you're being inconvenienced versus
when you feel like, oh, this is a change. And I'm actually getting something much better in return.
Like making your North Arrow Coffee, saving yourself money from going to, you know,
for instance, Starbucks, which actually funds abortion for their employees, you can start your
day knowing that you're making the right choice and maybe drinking some delicious pro-life coffee
while you're in the word before you go and have a great day. There you go. I like that practicality.
And I would almost kind of add to that. This goes to some of the, if you've done any Dave Ramsey,
like financial piece stuff before, he talks about the debt snowball. And what he means by that is
you pay off one loan and then you pay off the next one and the next one and the next one and just
kind of builds up. Do the same thing when it comes to your finances and kind of voting with your
dollar of start with something like that, real basic, and then see if there's something else.
Is there another brand, another thing that has a good alternative there? And just go that way.
Don't say I'm not going to shop at any big store ever starting tomorrow because that's probably
not going to be true. I mean, you're probably going to go against that. So start small and let it build
up over time. It's kind of exactly like that with the New Year's resolutions. I mean, I am so guilty
of like going into like some smoothie company and getting like kale and mazha smoothies. This is
going to be the time when you drink it and you're like, this is so bad and then you just throw it
away and then you're like, why did I do that? I mean, hopefully you're smarter than me and don't
actually go for like the kale and mazha in the morning, especially if you don't like mazha.
But making those small, you know, changes that might feel small might feel like, oh, is this
worth doing because it doesn't feel like I'm doing a ton. But you're just replacing something
that's going to be much better for you in the long run. Even I found this awesome new sunscreen
because I'm super, super pale and sunscreen is super important, but a lot of it like leaves
you feeling like greasy and gross and stuff. And it's called Mimi and IMI skincare and I'm actually
in the works to be a brand ambassador for them because they are a conservative company that's
all about faith, all about femininity and all about freedom. And so once I get my code, I'll
give that to you so you can share it with your audience. Yeah, absolutely. No, I think that
banding together with like-minded people is just so incredibly important. And that might be
something that I'll kind of throw in there too is find friends, find those foxhole buddies
kind of like you were talking about before. Don't just focus on, oh, Target did this and it's
terrible. Like, yeah, again, starting place. Yeah, you probably should be upset by that. But
don't just stay there. Find people that you can be there alongside with, form relationships with,
and not just sitting in that anger because that will eat you up. And eventually you're just going
to be apathetic and hate everything. And that's just not worth it. The point is to get red pilled,
not black pilled. Exactly. That's a great slogan. Yes, black pilled, you do nothing good. You're
just a bum at that point. Exactly. It's far too nihilistic when you're so numb from everything
going on. Yes. Well, where can the audience find you at? So they can find me on Finding the Faith
on Rumble. And then I am the base babe everywhere else. Perfect. All right, boy, if you search the
base babe, you're going to find her. So, encourage everyone to do that. It was great having on and
kind of going through your story. And yeah, everybody please, please check her out. Go get some
North Arrow coffee, Code Freeda, and you'll get your good tip percent off there. So again, thanks
for being on today. Of course. Thank you for having me. And I'm so glad that we were able to meet on
Twitter and have this, you know, beautiful conversation come out of it. Absolutely. All right.
Well, everyone, thanks for listening. I'll catch you on the next episode and we'll just continue
fighting for truth. Yeah, I'll take care.