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Well, everybody, welcome back to another episode of Faithfully Engaged.

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Now today's discussion, we're going to talk about some seemingly very difficult topics,

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such as human trafficking and abuse and some pretty difficult topics.

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I'm betting most of you that have either watched a podcast or watched a video,

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listened to anything, read a book, you probably didn't walk away from those discussions very

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uplifting or happy. You probably felt pretty down, pretty depressed. My guest, Amanda, today has a

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wonderful term for that called trauma vomiting, which I think is a fabulous term, which these

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are difficult topics, but you don't walk away feeling very good. Amanda tries to change that.

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She wants to feel people, leave people feeling more active and feel like they can do something

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instead of just being down and depressed. That being said, Amanda, it's great to have you on.

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Why don't you tell the audience a little bit about yourself?

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I live here in Denver, Colorado with my husband and our six cats. I'm a brand new grandmommy,

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so I'm super excited about that. My son's daughter is about to have a child this December,

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so I'll be a grandmother twice by the end of the year. As you pointed out, I'm a survivor of human

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trafficking. I'm also a professional artist. I am an author. I am a public speaker. I'm a trauma

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recovery mentor. There's a lot of different hats that I wear, but probably my most favorite hat that

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I wear is I'm a believer. I love that you mentioned that of wearing those different hats. Let's just

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speak of that to start off with being a believer. I know we're both pretty excited to connect with

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each other, having a lot in common with our faith, especially going through all of these difficult

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things that you've gone through and the different processes you do to talk about them. I know that

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can wear way heavy on you. What does the role of being a believer, being a Christian, how does that

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play into all of that? I started out really struggling a lot when I was a kid. We were not

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a churchgoing family. We did say prayer, but only over the dinner table and only when we were at home,

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never when we were out in public anywhere. I wanted to know more about that. I wanted to know

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who was it that we're talking to? Why are we praying? I started running away from home to go to

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church when I was probably about eight, nine years old. I'd gotten a lot of trouble for it. I would

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be severely punished for going to church. It was a couple miles from the house and they didn't want

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me going because they didn't want me going to non-denominational church. They said they were

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Methodist and they didn't want me getting confused or getting the wrong messages. I grew up really

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being told that church was a bad place in a weird way. Yet I was still a believer. The pastor that

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I had back then when I was running away from home was really supportive, very open to trying to explain

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things to me. He understood that I didn't want to go off to the kids groups. I wanted to sit there

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with the adults because I wanted to learn with the adults. He was open to all of that as long as I

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was quiet and good. There was never a day that I wasn't because I so desperately wanted to be there.

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God was calling me very early on. If I didn't have that kind of a foundation, I don't know that I

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would have survived everything that I went through. I nearly didn't anyway. One of the trauma

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reactions that a lot of people go through is actually a crisis of faith. There were

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sometimes in my life where I really struggled with if God is real, then why is this happening to me?

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But it took a long time to figure it out. I finally figured out exactly why all of that was happening

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to me is because of where I am now and the things I'm able to do and because I'm able to help other

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people. Yeah, those are some really great words. I'm actually reading a book right now that I had

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heard for a long time was a great book, but just hadn't ever done it. Goodness, this is a great curse

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that I have had since becoming a podcast host that things just blank on me. It's the existence of

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God, I believe is what it is. It's by Tim Keller. It walks through one of the first chapters is

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why does a good God allow suffering? That's kind of what you were having to deal with in an extremely

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real way at a very young age. Why do I have to go through this? We don't always get that answer,

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especially there in the moment, but how wonderful and how sweet of a story it is for you that now

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you're in this world that you are now that you can help others because of the bad stuff you went

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through. That is a wonderful testimony. It's definitely the story of my life. It took a long

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time to get here, but it was worth the journey. Yes. Yes. So with that being said, feel free to

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share whatever you either feel comfortable with or what you want to get into, but walk us through

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your story a little bit. What were some of these pitfalls that we had to go through in life?

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So with most survivors of human trafficking, we usually grow up in rather abusive households.

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It sets us up to be more easily manipulated. The first time that I remember being molested,

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I was only four years old. It happened again when I was 12 by a stranger in a pool. Again,

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when I was 13 by an uncle by marriage. Again, at 15, 16, at 17, I was raped by somebody I thought was

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my best friend. And when I was treated basically my entire life, as far as I can remember, as a

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sex object, it set me up to believe that that's what I was. That's what my life was going to be,

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and that's all it was ever going to be. I learned the, I was conditioned to learn the roller coaster

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of emotions, which can be very addicting to some people. You are drawn to circumstances like this,

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where you're constantly going through these roller coaster emotions nonstop. And the people who love

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you, if they don't hurt you, that means they don't love you. So you're seeking this out constantly.

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I ended up in a lot of very abusive relationships. When I was 18 years old, I moved in with a man

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who was more than twice my age. And this man was the first person to traffic me. I didn't realize

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that it was trafficking for many, many years afterwards. But he had loaned me out basically

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as a party favor to a buddy of his for birthday weekend in Las Vegas. We were living in Arizona

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at the time. So we had to hop a flight. And we got to Arizona. And I was locked up in a small

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hotel room for 52 hours with basically I was allowed to get room service once a day. But the

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hotel had been paid off to make sure that nobody asked any questions. They dropped off the room

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service and left before I was able to retrieve it. I did not have my driver's license or my

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my identification with me, the man who had me with him did. And if I'd left the hotel room,

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I wouldn't have been able to get back in because I didn't have a room key. I would not have been

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able to return to Arizona. I wouldn't have had identification to be able to go report what's

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happening to a police officer. I would have been homeless on the streets of Las Vegas.

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In my mind, that was far worse than enduring the 52 hours of repeated assaults. I had already been

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through so many years of this exact same thing. Surely I could get through another 52 hours of it

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and just get back and leave. That became the easier route and became the route of least resistance.

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So I put up with it, got back to Arizona. And almost as soon as I got back, I packed up what I

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packed up what I could carry and I left. And I was homeless for a little while. I bounced around

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and slept on people's couches and recliners and occasionally would find myself without a roof

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over my head and would sleep on park benches. I was looked down on a lot for this. People would

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tell me go get a job. I had a job. I was working at a 7-Eleven, but that didn't mean that I could

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afford my own place. I also didn't have a driver's license at that time. So I didn't have a car,

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I would have probably been sleeping in my car. Otherwise it would have been safer.

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Eventually I found my way out of there. I left Arizona completely and got down to Florida.

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There was Arkansas in the middle there somewhere, but that's a long story, not for today.

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And I got down to Florida and I was going to stay with my dad's mother. She was, she and I had

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already made the arrangements. I was going to go and stay with her while I got my knee surgery done.

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I had injured myself working on a horse farm. When I got there, it was about 10.30 at night when

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I called them from the Daytona Beach bus station to let them know I'm here. I'm ready for you to

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come and pick me up. Her husband, my dad's stepfather, answered the phone and said,

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we're not coming to pick you up. You're on your own. Good luck. And they hung up.

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I found out many years later that it was because my parents had called them and told them that

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I was on the run from my troubles again. And if they took me in, they would never speak to me again.

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They would never speak to her again. So they left me on the streets and Daytona Beach with $5 to my

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name. And at this point, none of them knew that I had already been homeless. And it was one of my

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greatest fears was to be homeless again. All I knew was that I was constantly moving. I had moved

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eight times in the state of Arizona. It was hard to keep track of me. They didn't know where I was.

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They knew that I was constantly on the run from some kind of trouble. I started running away from

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home when I was 15. There was always something that I was running from. And they wanted me to

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stop running. They thought that this was the way to make me stop running. Instead, I had a young

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couple come find me there at the bus station at about 11 o'clock at night. So I'd been crying for

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about a half hour at that point. And they told me, you know, we're sorry to hear about everything

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that you're going through. And we have a place, we can give you a place to stay until you can get

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on your feet. He was 22 and she was 15 but looked 18. And they brought me back to their house. And

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what they really meant was that they were going to give me a place to stay until they could find

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the highest bidder. And they sold me like a bag of potato chips to some guy named Esteban. And from

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there I was locked up in a small room with no food, no water, and no bathroom facilities

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for 23 and a half hours, nearly 24 hours. Back in the 80s and 90s, there was this really great TV

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show that was on that I absolutely loved called MacGyver. A man could fix anything with paper

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clip and rubber band. I even had for a long time, I had a shirt that said, what would MacGyver do?

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And when I was locked up in that room, that was all I could think of. What would MacGyver do?

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What would Richard Dean Anderson as MacGyver do? And I MacGyvered my way out of this room

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through some incredible miracle. I got out. I was taking off down the street running away

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and I saw a police officer and I went and I tried to flag down the police officer. It was a female

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officer. And when I tried to tell her what had happened, it all came out at once,

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basically trauma vomiting right at this cop. And she did not believe me. She didn't believe anything

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I was saying, but she did see this man who had been chasing after me doing illegal U-turn behind

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me. So she went after him for that. And I left. Again, I was homeless and living on park benches

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and doing whatever I could to get by. I started working 24 hours a day. So I was working as a

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411 operator assistance at, it was 1999. This was still in Daytona Beach. So I was doing that from

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8am to 4pm. I get off at work at 4 and walk over to Sears across the street and work from 430 to

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1030. Get off work at Sears at 1030 and deliver pizzas in a college town using somebody else's

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car that I borrowed until about two o'clock in the morning. And at two o'clock in the morning,

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I would go back to the house of somebody who worked nights and keep an eye on their

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two-year-old little boy while they were working. And then I would get up in the morning at 8 o'clock

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and do it all again. I was working 24 hours a day. I finally had a roof over my head where I didn't

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have to give myself a way to be able to feel safe. This family with the little boy decided that they

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were going to move to Colorado and they asked me if I wanted to go with them. So I absolutely agreed.

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They were going to stop by a place in Ohio to go visit an uncle and we got up to Ohio.

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And they basically told me that I would not be continuing the journey with them and they were

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done with me. I didn't know what I had done wrong. I had tried so hard to be the best person I could

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possibly be and be the best influence to take care of the kid and to not complain about anything.

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I did everything right, I thought. And they dumped me off on the side of the road in Ohio

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and I had to call an abusive ex of mine from Arkansas to be able to get me out of there

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so I wouldn't be homeless in yet another strange state. I couldn't handle this much more. I needed

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to get out of there. So I escaped this abusive ex in Arkansas, eventually found my way out to

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California where my greatest ambition was to be the assistant to somebody important.

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Instead I ended up on Alias and Will and Grace and I modeled for Harley Davidson and I had these

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crazy adventures. I had so much fun playing around in Hollywood. And in 2004 it was when I was on

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Alias and Will and Grace and I started doing all these crazy things and was acting and modeling

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and I had no idea my life was going to be going in that direction. And I also tried internet dating.

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So this was becoming a big thing in 2004. There was a website back then called Hot or Not where

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you'd vote on whether or not you thought somebody was hot. I thought it was really shallow but I

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was still on it. And that was because I had grown up as the sex object and now all of a sudden I'm

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modeling and people are putting in their TV shows and stuff. I wanted to know how does the general

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public see me. It wasn't because I was wanting to be shallow and rate other people because

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I needed to be rated. I needed people to provide that sense of value to me. I was so lost and so

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broken that I was looking for that validation from wherever I could get it except where I needed it

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from the most. While it was on the website I met a man who lived out of the country

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and we really hit it off. We knew right off that since he lived so far away he had a solid

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stable job. I had a solid stable career that was blossoming. We knew that we were only going to be

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pen pals but we were great pen pals. We'd write back and forth pretty much every day. Eventually

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when Skype became a really common thing by 2006 I believe he was eating breakfast when I was eating

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dinner and we would share a meal together over Skype. We got to know each other and still communicated

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and within seven years I kind of left Hollywood. I started off working as a mall cop and within

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five months became a director of public safety and security for six different properties in LA

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county and finally had a career. I was really doing well. I had my own place. I had my own car.

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Of course I had a driver's license by then. I had everything that I had really wanted except

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a stable relationship. I had gone out to see this man where he lived in Scotland and he had come

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out to see me where I lived out in California. It took us seven years but we finally decided

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that we were in love and he asked me to get a fiance visa and move over to Scotland to be with

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him. I mean the land of kings and queens and castles. This is what every child who grows up

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watching Disney movies ever dreams of. I was going to be sleeping beauty or snow white. I was going

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to come from this tragic background and land in the world of make believe. I couldn't wait

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and it took him seven years to get me there and it took him seven days to start trafficking me.

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I was 31 years old. It was devastating. The first week I was there was great. I was treated like

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royalty. I got to go places and do things. Of course it was January in Scotland so the snow was

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frighteningly thick and immense. The snowflakes that landed on the window of the plane when my

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plane landed were the size of the palm of my hand. They were massive. Oh my gosh it was freezing.

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I moved there from California where I was living on the beach. That's quite the culture shock.

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Oh the weather was a culture shock. I figured that there would be some differences because

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I'm living in the UK but at least they still speak English. They're Scottish. They don't speak English.

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I could understand a little bit of what they were saying but oh my gosh it got to me so much

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that within a couple of weeks I was watching every episode of Law and Order SVU and Air Crash

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Investigations just to hear the American accent. I was so homesick. It was ridiculous.

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So when the abuse began with him it started gradual at first and it escalated quickly.

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Eventually it was five, six, seven days a week. I was basically forced to entertain guests in his

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home. I was given a little bit of privileges with being able to get out during the days when he was

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at work. I was given a cell phone. It was an older flip phone that he could track. I was monitored

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with that phone. He would get ahold of it every night to see what messages were sent or received.

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The only phone numbers that I had were his and his sister's and if I ever said anything in a text

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message to his sister about something that he had done or something that was going on or even hinted

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or alluded to not being happy I was punished severely. So some of the punishments would be

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things that would consist of basically torture. So I'm a survivor of sport torture. I was water

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boarded. I had sleep deprivation. The longest I ever went without sleep I believe was eight and a

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half days but it's hard to keep track at that point. Food deprivation. So I was starved.

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I started to have a sensitivity to certain food items and I didn't understand what that was. Later

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on I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. So those food items that would cause me to vomit were the

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food items that he fed me more often. He said that was because I was the skinnier I stayed the more

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he could charge. I wanted out. So after the views first started I he had already taken my passport

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and my driver's license my debit card all that stuff and he said it was for safekeeping. He's

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literally put it in a safe so that he could keep an eye on it and I couldn't have access to it. He

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said that was in case anything ever happened and we'll get into his background here in just a moment

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but when you find out what his job was it makes perfect sense that I would trust him with this

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kind of stuff. So one night when he had had way too much to drink he was a heavy, heavy drinker.

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He'd had way too many whiskies and I kept giving him more and I talked to him that evening before

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he went to sleep and I said you know if I have my passport and my debit card I could go down to the

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bank sometime this week and go draw out all the money that I have in my bank account and give it

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to you so that we can spend it and he fell for it. What I did instead was the very next morning

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I got up and grabbed my computer and I tried to purchase the first flight out that I could afford.

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The very first flight out was $12,000 there was no way I could afford that all I had was a little bit

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over $2,000 in my bank. So I did what I could and searched around and tried to find the cheapest

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flight out and the cheapest flight out that I could find that I could actually afford was going

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to be five days from that day. So I'd have to continue going through this abuse for the next

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five days but after five days it goes back to that original 52 hours the first time I was

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trafficked. If I can get through this, if I can get through these these days, these hours,

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then I'm home free. I'm good and I can get out. But during that five days I was so severely abused

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that I ended up with a kidney infection that was so bad I was in the hospital and I missed the

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flight and that ticket cost everything I had except for $11. So I really I had nothing left.

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It was a non-refundable flight. I lost it all and then of course he found out and I was subjected

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to some really nasty harsh punishments because of that. Eventually I kind of started to lose hope

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and one day I decided that this was going to be my last day this was going to be my last cigarette

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and I grabbed I at the time I was a smoker. I have not been a smoker now for great many years

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thankfully but I grabbed a cigarette and I headed for the door and there was a church down the street

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right on the main road. It was built in the 1600s. It was gorgeous and I went down there and I sat in

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the graveyard of this church, little tiny graveyard. There was a headstone in there that was dated 1776

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which is America's independence from the UK rule from English rule and I took that as kind of a

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sign and I sat down next to the grave and I put my back against the my spine was on the side of

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the grave and I talked to whoever it was. The years had so deteriorated the stone of this headstone

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you couldn't even see the name anymore. It didn't exist. It was just the year

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and whoever that was that was under me was my best friend that day because they listened to everything

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and I prayed you know somebody please come find me send somebody to come find me and nobody came

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and I finally got up after about an hour of sitting there in the cold wet grass and I went and sat on

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the porch and tried the doors first the doors were locked. I sat on the porch of the church

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and I watched as the traffic passed and people walked by and I just I prayed really hard just

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sobbing please God somebody please send somebody to come find me ask me what's wrong

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and nobody came. So I finally got up and I headed to the train station. I was going to commit suicide

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by train. I got all the way to the train station and stepped out onto the platform and I had that

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one last cigarette with me still and I lit that cigarette and a man walked out onto the platform

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and he asked me for a light and I handed him my little book of matches and I told him oh you can

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keep these I don't need them anymore and I wanted him to ask why because if he asked me why I would

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have told him I'm going to kill myself. I hurt I can't live like this anymore but he didn't ask.

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He said I am quitting too. I did me back my batches and that was that. That was the end of the

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conversation and I was just flabbergasted that nobody this entire day nobody cared nobody wanted

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to get involved. When I cried my eyes turned bright ready it was obvious that I had been crying nobody

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cared and then a little boy about four years old walked out onto the platform and he took his father's

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hand and a little boy looked at me and when he looked at me he didn't just look at me he didn't

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just see some crazy lady with red eyes smoking a cigarette he saw a human being he saw me

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and I knew that that was the person that God sent. I knew that I had to stop what I was thinking.

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I could not do to this child what had been done to me so many times over and over again.

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I could not take his innocence away from him by killing myself and allowing this child to see this

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and it took me about 20 seconds to realize that I had thrown down the cigarette and was running

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and I wasn't running toward the train I was running back toward my prison and I was happy about it

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because I was thanking God for miracles not yet received because I knew that if he was going to

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keep me alive in the darkest moment that I'd ever had in my life that there had to be more out there

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my life meant more than that and I was not going to just die in some incident in Scotland.

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I was going to get out of there I was gonna find a way I just needed to give myself a little more time.

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Within a couple of months I had completely hatched and carried out one of the greatest

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acting jobs of my life. Thanks to Hollywood I had gotten a little bit of that training.

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And thanks to all of the abuse that I had gone through for all those years I had learned enough

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about psychology and from listening to different crime dramas and stuff and watching Law and Order

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SVU I had learned so much about psychology that I knew what Stockholm syndrome was.

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We now call it trauma bonding. I hate that it's been rebranded but I'm still going to refer to

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it as Stockholm syndrome because I'm old school and just old but I learned enough about it to know

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what it was and how it worked and I started over the next few weeks leaving these little breadcrumbs

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and making him believe that I had completely done a 180 and no longer wanted to get away from him

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but would do anything for him and I loved him desperately and all I wanted was whatever he

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wanted. I just wanted to make him happy and at the end of a couple of months I approached him

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and we sat down one night I had made a dinner and we were sitting down and talking about things and

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I told him I said you know I came over here on a fiancé visa and the day that we told them

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originally that you and I were going to get married has come and gone. Now if we if we overstay my

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visa then I could get deported back to the states and according to UK law I would never be allowed

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back in the UK under any circumstances and I'd never see you again plus with you being a police officer

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you could lose your job so here's what I propose if you send me back to California

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I could live there for the next six months and get another visa and come and live out here for

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another six months and if we if we set this up right I could come back in time for Christmas

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and wouldn't it be great it would be our first Christmas together and he was so convinced because

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of all these little breadcrumbs that I had dropped along the way that this was absolutely the case

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that within two hours I had a round trip flight it would have landed me back in Scotland on December

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8th of that same year it was insane trying to get out of there I had watched every episode

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of air crash investigations because I missed the American accent going to that plane I was more

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scared of staying than I was of flying and that's saying something after all that two years later I

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became a flight attendant but the attacks didn't stop it didn't end there just because I got away

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and a lot of people have this preconceived notion that just because you escape a domestic violence

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situation or because you get out of trafficking and you build your own life outside of that

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that that means that that's the end of it and you've moved on he came looking for me

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he nearly found me he was banging on the neighbor's door he had my address off by a single number

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I moved repeatedly over and over and over and over again as I had been basically my entire life

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at this point in my life right now I have moved 43 times I hope I'm done

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I'm tired of packing my bags man but eventually in 2016 I packed up all my bags

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and my cats I had acquired some cats and I moved out to Colorado and when I got out here I was

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thinking you know I've been living and hiding for several years now surely things are better

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things are quiet now I can have a life now and I found out in 2019 that he made me famous on a

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pornography website and he linked all of the social media accounts that he could find for me to this

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and gave every bit of personal information he could find on me so people could actually

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find me and locate me the most humiliating moment I think I ever came across was when I was in a

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grocery store doing just my basic shopping and somebody recognized me from the pornography site

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from a rape video it wasn't for being on alias or will and grace or modeling for harley david

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sonnery these super cool things that I did and this guy had the gall to ask me for an autograph

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I didn't know how to handle this so I reached out to two different anti trafficking organizations

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one immediately set me up with a legal firm in New York City that's going that was going to

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start reaching out to these pornography websites and giving them the threat of legal action

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that they needed to pull this stuff down right away and they went to work man every single time

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something popped up they would immediately reach out and have it pulled down but every time one

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went down two more went up somewhere else it was overwhelming so I also reached out to another

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anti trafficking organization that paired me up with a therapist now the first therapist I swear

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to you I traumatize this woman so much with my trauma vomiting that she has left the industry

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and will never be a therapist again but the second one they paired me up with she was amazing and you

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know I I I kind of cut to the chase with her anyway because I learned from my first mistakes

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I told her I said number one don't come at me with medications because I don't want a bandaid

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I want to get to the root of this and dig it out and number two don't walk on eggshells I'm

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tired of people treating me like I'm a broken thing or that I'm so fragile because if I was

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going to break I would have broken already and I'm still here so let's get through this

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a year and a half later we were nearing the end of our therapy she said I don't know that there's

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much more that I can do to help you you've done so much and you've worked so hard on this

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what are you going to do next because I know that you're not done yet I said you know I think

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I'm ready to write my book finally and in the month of December of 2020 I wrote my entire book and

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when she reached out to me again in January she said how's it going it's like well it's done

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she said I I can't believe you're done already this is amazing now what are you going to do and I

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said I don't know she said well have you considered art I was like well I used to do art I used to

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do drawings and stuff for a while and I got really burned out on it she says what about painting

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so well I did some finger painting when I was a kid but it all came out looking like a multicolored

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snowman so you know I don't know what to tell you I'm just not a painter she said I'm going to send

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somebody over with some canvases and brushes and paints and I want you to just try it doesn't

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matter what it looks like it doesn't matter if it's good or not because one of the major trauma

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reactions that people have is a need for control and what we all have to recognize is that we only

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control about 10 percent of everything in our lives but when we can take that 10 percent and turn

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it into something that we can see and feel and touch and have absolute control over we can actually

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start to retrain our brains to have these healthy reactions your book was hugely helpful in this

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because you had control over what words you were putting down but art is going to be the same thing

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so I promised her that I would try it within three months I sold my first painting I sold it to the

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anti-trafficking organization that actually paired me up with a therapist they made prints of it and

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sold the prints to be able to help offer therapy to other survivors of human trafficking within five

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months I had sold my my artwork internationally I had sold one piece to a home for human trafficking

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survivors in Chicago Illinois I have a print of it behind me in my studio and the painting is called

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carry your own baggage because we all have to carry our own baggage through life until we find a

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safe place to set it down and the only and best place to set it down is at our Lord's feet

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if we give it to him he knows what to do with it nobody else on this earth knows what to do with

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it we don't know what to do with it we don't even know what's in the baggage sometimes he does and

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he can absolutely take control of that and to help us to let it go and the essay the painting that

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stuff ended up in this home for survivors in Chicago about the same time that my autobiography

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was published which was on my 10-year anniversary of freedom from trafficking

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and that came out June of 2021 and Chicago Tribune wrote an article about me and in July of 2021

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was when I met the man that's now my husband and if I hadn't done all of that work and gone

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through everything and had the therapy and learned how to fight back and discovered the lion in my

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lungs I wouldn't have the relationship that I've got now I wouldn't have married a man who's one of

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the audio engineers for our church I wouldn't have even 10 percent of everything that I've got now

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and then the man that trafficked me because I learned how to speak up he's now more scared

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of me than I've ever been of him wow yeah that first off incredible incredible story and one in which

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like again the the emphasis on all the bad stuff that happened yes that happened I know that's a

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big part of your of your therapy treatment I'm sure of putting that out there like yes this happened

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that it was bad I did not enjoy it and coming to grips with that but we don't stay there we don't

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stay in what bad happened and then just in there we continue on and I love the fact one of your

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your perseverance is just through through the roof that I think that's something anybody can

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can learn from and a quick little side note here my my wife is as the recording of this she is eight

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months pregnant and is super sick it's been it's been miserable she has this is our third child

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and each one has it's been worse as far as the pregnancy goes sick all nine months and it's been

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not it's been terrible that just to put it put it frankly there but she perseveres and her midwife

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actually if there's a another patient she'll use my wife as an example and they're complaining about

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something and she'll say now listen here I've got this patient and she's got it way worse than you do

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and um that perseverance is something that we all can get better at and again using my wife as this

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example when that baby comes out it's the most beautiful thing is her illness is gone and

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she would love that baby no matter what if there is sickness or not but it almost adds to that like

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I suffered nine months with you and you are beautiful like it just adds that enjoyment there and

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I think that's what I love about your story there is yeah all that stuff was was awful that we

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wouldn't wish that on anybody but look at what you have and look at that perseverance look at

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that story and this is kind of that this next question I have for you um through your book through your

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art through telling your story how have you been able to transition from this is like I'm traumatized

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I'm living in this trauma to now I'm helping other people how has that process been being able to

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shift to kind of be more of that mentor more of that teacher type of role a lot of that came from

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doing the research myself and learning about Stockholm syndrome but learning about the other

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trauma responses and stuff too so when I wrote my autobiography probably the biggest thing for me

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was that in the process of writing that book I learned how to put all of that bad stuff down

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on the pages and walk away from it I was literally giving it a physical body that was separate from

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my physical body and when you do that with something and you walk out of the room and you

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leave it behind you you're learning to let go of it little by little every single thing that I

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could remember and write down I was purging from my system now when I started really learning about

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the stages of trauma which mirror the stages of grief I learned of the reason that they

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mirror the stages of grief is because with trauma we are altered our mental thinking our

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capabilities the way we react to different things all of that has completely changed because of

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being traumatized we have to grieve for the person that we were going to be for the life that we

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had planned for the life that we had expected for ourselves when you grow up in a life of trauma

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you have to grieve for the child that never got to be you know I had a lot of grieving to go through

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to be able to get from one end of the trauma to the other so with the five stages of trauma five

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stages of grief you go through denial first this didn't happen then you go through anger

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bargaining depression and when you finally get to the acceptance phase that doesn't mean that you've

378
00:42:40,240 --> 00:42:45,440
accepted it and life is hunky dory and you're good to go it means that you're finally ready to start

379
00:42:45,440 --> 00:42:53,760
doing the hard work you have to be willing to do the hard work to be able to get through to the

380
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:59,440
other side and that's what I approached with that therapist I had already gone through all five of

381
00:42:59,440 --> 00:43:06,000
those stages of grief and had been going through them for years and what I needed from her was the

382
00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:14,080
help to get over the hurdles that I was facing with everything beyond the acceptance now how do I

383
00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:20,560
do this how do I jump over this how do I learn to live with this how do I change the way I'm

384
00:43:20,560 --> 00:43:26,000
thinking with this I have personally amassed a list of over 60 different trauma reactions that

385
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:34,720
people can have I've had most of them myself a lot of these tie into PTSD and a lot of these can become

386
00:43:34,720 --> 00:43:40,640
PTSD if they're not dealt with so there's a lot of long-term consequences to not fighting back

387
00:43:40,640 --> 00:43:47,040
against your trauma reactions and retraining your brain to have healthier reactions when I learned

388
00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:52,800
about all of this stuff I started to realize I know enough of this to be able to teach this to other

389
00:43:52,800 --> 00:44:00,720
people and I've already been through the hard parts I don't figured it out the hard way so if I can

390
00:44:00,720 --> 00:44:08,400
help anybody to skip having to do this the hard way it's still going to be hard but I'm gonna cut

391
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:14,320
out all of the crap that you don't need and give you the stuff that you actually do need I can

392
00:44:14,320 --> 00:44:21,840
actually help people and my plan wasn't to become a trauma recovery mentor until I found that this

393
00:44:21,840 --> 00:44:27,280
was something that I had already been doing for quite a while with several people other

394
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:32,000
trafficking survivors other trauma survivors domestic violence survivors all kinds of people

395
00:44:32,000 --> 00:44:36,720
were coming to me and saying how do you do this how do you overcome this how do you fight back

396
00:44:36,720 --> 00:44:44,320
against this so I finally started to build my own curriculum this is how you do this I can help you

397
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:51,040
we can go through it together and that was that was about the time that I realized that

398
00:44:52,160 --> 00:44:56,880
everything that I'd been through that was where the little boy was telling me to go that's what

399
00:44:56,880 --> 00:45:03,520
God was telling me to do was I needed to help others to get through their hard times too

400
00:45:03,520 --> 00:45:11,040
I've got a voice I have the ability to express myself in writing and in painting and on stages

401
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:15,440
and if I can do this if people are willing to listen if people are willing to pay attention

402
00:45:15,440 --> 00:45:22,880
they can learn how to do it too you you have a very unique

403
00:45:25,440 --> 00:45:30,160
place and in the in the kind of anti trafficking type of movement you you've lived it you breathed

404
00:45:30,160 --> 00:45:40,080
it and those experiences do matter I I can try to speak for somebody and I can do the best job I can

405
00:45:40,080 --> 00:45:45,840
I can't speak with the same way to do it's it's impossible for me to I've not lived the same

406
00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:52,560
things that you have now that being said I would imagine those people that are listening to this

407
00:45:53,200 --> 00:45:58,960
most of which have not experienced anything near the degree that that you personally had

408
00:45:58,960 --> 00:46:04,880
but they hear some of these trafficking stories and they want to be involved they want to help

409
00:46:04,880 --> 00:46:12,240
in some way shape or form what is your advice for those that don't have the same experiences

410
00:46:12,240 --> 00:46:18,720
but still want to help what what can they do I would say look into organizations in your area

411
00:46:18,720 --> 00:46:24,720
or internationally but vet the organizations if you do decide to work with them find out what

412
00:46:24,720 --> 00:46:30,400
the money is being spent on there are organizations out there that will absolutely share the story of

413
00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:38,640
a human trafficking survivor in order to gain more money through ways of donations and the

414
00:46:38,640 --> 00:46:44,880
survivor whose story they took doesn't receive any compensation at all this is a further exploitation

415
00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:49,280
of the victim then you have to make sure that you know where the money is being spent if there's

416
00:46:49,280 --> 00:46:53,840
somebody who's running an anti trafficking organization who had previously let's say a

417
00:46:53,840 --> 00:47:00,880
government job and is living in a six million dollar house that you know government money

418
00:47:00,880 --> 00:47:03,840
wouldn't have been able to pay for you have to ask where that money came from

419
00:47:04,880 --> 00:47:11,360
but there are a lot of organizations out there that are survivor led and it's important to

420
00:47:11,360 --> 00:47:16,800
understand that when we say survivor led these organizations might not have been founded by a

421
00:47:16,800 --> 00:47:22,640
survivor of human trafficking many of them are but they have survivors of trafficking who are in a

422
00:47:22,640 --> 00:47:29,120
position now to be able to help mentor the others to get from the place of being a victim to being

423
00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:35,680
a survivor to thriving there's one in colorado springs called compass 31 it is a fantastic

424
00:47:35,680 --> 00:47:42,320
organization that does a lot for the survivors there's one in denver here called beautiful feet

425
00:47:42,320 --> 00:47:49,360
wellness she does yoga classes and retreats for survivors of trafficking there's of course a light

426
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:55,040
those are the people that lined me up with the pro bono legal services if you're looking for an

427
00:47:55,040 --> 00:48:00,080
organization to get involved with these smaller organizations need a lot of help and they're

428
00:48:00,080 --> 00:48:06,880
doing the boots on the ground work they're working so hard for the rehabilitation and for helping

429
00:48:06,880 --> 00:48:14,000
those who need it most it's so important to make sure that you know where the money is going and

430
00:48:14,000 --> 00:48:19,680
if you look at the compass 31 website they actually have the seal of transparency they will

431
00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:24,800
absolutely share where every single penny goes every single year that they're in business that's

432
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:30,400
important to recognize and it's important to partner with organizations like that that need

433
00:48:30,400 --> 00:48:38,000
it most I think that's key and and really in anything that you give money to but especially

434
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:47,280
these hot topic type of things like that and I would share this even aside from a specific

435
00:48:47,280 --> 00:48:54,000
cause like that black human trafficking and even into just a christian based type of organizations

436
00:48:54,000 --> 00:48:58,400
as well even even different type of churches I think what you're saying is really important in

437
00:48:58,400 --> 00:49:05,120
general with any type of giving giving is a fantastic thing to do I think especially as a

438
00:49:05,120 --> 00:49:11,120
as a christian that is something that we are very much called to do but we're also called to be good

439
00:49:11,120 --> 00:49:19,360
stewards and a place could look real clean look real nice they have a good looking website and

440
00:49:19,360 --> 00:49:26,400
then just click and donate maybe it's good maybe but I think doing your homework like you're saying

441
00:49:26,400 --> 00:49:33,200
is really important and that sounds like a really key tenet of a good organization is are they

442
00:49:33,200 --> 00:49:42,000
transparent because if they're not there's probably a reason behind that that there unfortunately are

443
00:49:42,000 --> 00:49:48,160
a lot of nonprofits and organizations that have some shady underbellies that that do bad things

444
00:49:49,680 --> 00:49:55,360
absolutely I've run into several of them and it's it's scary when you run into those too

445
00:49:55,920 --> 00:50:00,640
yeah they're absolutely taking advantage of everybody out there they're victimizing everybody

446
00:50:00,640 --> 00:50:06,080
not just the victims of trafficking not just the parishioners they're taking advantage of

447
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:16,720
anybody willing to listen to their sob story with that are there other when you're talking about

448
00:50:17,440 --> 00:50:26,000
boots on the ground just those local organizations are there other kind of quick tips to like

449
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:32,160
different questions to ask like should I look at the financial sheets are there parts on the websites

450
00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:36,400
that we need to be looking for like what are some of those practical steps of those local

451
00:50:36,400 --> 00:50:42,640
organizations people can do to kind of vet them out a little bit better definitely look at the

452
00:50:42,640 --> 00:50:50,400
financials that is key and paramount in 90 percent of everything that we're doing with the anti-trafficking

453
00:50:50,400 --> 00:50:55,920
stuff but also if you don't if you are looking at their website if you're paying attention to what

454
00:50:55,920 --> 00:51:01,840
it is that they're doing if there is one group that has more notoriety than any other you have

455
00:51:01,840 --> 00:51:09,520
to ask yourself why are they spending money on advertising how deep are their pockets and where

456
00:51:09,520 --> 00:51:14,880
is that money going there's one recently that had a movie made about them and you have to understand

457
00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:20,560
what human trafficking looks like to to make sure that they're not exploiting what the media is

458
00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:25,920
portraying as human trafficking because that is so separate from what it actually is so the department

459
00:51:25,920 --> 00:51:31,360
of homeland security defines human trafficking is the use of force fraud or coercion to obtain

460
00:51:31,360 --> 00:51:35,760
labor or sex acts from another person you notice there's no mention of transportation so human

461
00:51:35,760 --> 00:51:42,000
smuggling is a separate issue from human trafficking and there's no mention of money so prostitution

462
00:51:42,000 --> 00:51:47,520
does not equal human trafficking human trafficking does not equal prostitution 95 percent of women

463
00:51:47,520 --> 00:51:53,440
in human trafficking in prostitution are being trafficked somebody else is making the money

464
00:51:53,440 --> 00:52:00,400
and they are forced fraud it or coerced into doing labor or sex acts but there are literally millions

465
00:52:00,400 --> 00:52:05,760
of people being trafficked every single day and prostitution only takes up a small part of that

466
00:52:06,640 --> 00:52:10,560
you know we talk about human trafficking here in the u.s and nine times out of 10 what people

467
00:52:10,560 --> 00:52:15,040
are thinking is automatically sex trafficking that is what happened to me but that only makes

468
00:52:15,040 --> 00:52:22,240
up 14 percent of trafficking worldwide the majority of trafficking like something like 80 percent of

469
00:52:22,240 --> 00:52:27,840
trafficking worldwide is labor trafficking we're talking child soldiers in Africa we're talking

470
00:52:27,840 --> 00:52:32,720
migrant workers here in the u.s these are people that are being forced frauded or coerced into

471
00:52:32,720 --> 00:52:42,320
working labor and they're not receiving the benefit of their work so another thing that we really

472
00:52:42,320 --> 00:52:49,440
have to watch out for is the people that are touting the kidnap scenario we think that kidnapping

473
00:52:49,440 --> 00:52:56,160
only happens to children being kidnapped off the streets by greasy looking dudes in windowless fans

474
00:52:56,160 --> 00:53:01,200
you know the kidnap fans we all watch for the kidnap fans let's get real you know especially

475
00:53:01,200 --> 00:53:06,720
growing up in the 80s the way i did you learn about stranger danger well the biggest danger

476
00:53:06,720 --> 00:53:11,600
doesn't come from strangers 85 percent of all people trafficked are trafficked by people they

477
00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:16,560
know and trust and love who have a sense of authority over their lives parents grandparents

478
00:53:16,560 --> 00:53:23,040
aunts uncles neighbors boyfriends girlfriends in my case it was a boyfriend then it was landlords

479
00:53:23,040 --> 00:53:31,760
and then it was a fiance you know with all of that my case all three of the times that i was

480
00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:38,560
trafficked are far more typical than what anybody could ever possibly imagine but that's not what

481
00:53:38,560 --> 00:53:44,880
the media talks about that's not what some of these anti trafficking organizations are talking

482
00:53:44,880 --> 00:53:49,760
about so when they start talking about the kidnapping scenarios you have to ask what's their motive

483
00:53:49,760 --> 00:53:56,960
here because that's such a small percentage of the actual cases when they start talking about

484
00:53:56,960 --> 00:54:03,120
save our children that became a political hashtag a couple of years ago it is not a political issue

485
00:54:03,920 --> 00:54:08,560
it doesn't matter what side of politics you lie on it doesn't matter what your what you

486
00:54:09,840 --> 00:54:17,120
what your male or female it doesn't matter if your black or white or asian or mexican

487
00:54:17,120 --> 00:54:23,200
or hispanic it doesn't matter human trafficking can't affect anyone and everyone it doesn't even

488
00:54:23,200 --> 00:54:27,840
matter how old you are the last time i was trafficked i was 31 years old you know the

489
00:54:27,840 --> 00:54:32,880
whole save our children thing the youngest person here in colorado that was saved from trafficking

490
00:54:32,880 --> 00:54:37,040
was only three months old the oldest was 70 wow

491
00:54:40,080 --> 00:54:46,960
yeah we have to recognize that it is not what the media portrays it as and if you run across

492
00:54:46,960 --> 00:54:50,720
these anti trafficking organizations that claim that they're doing the hard work

493
00:54:50,720 --> 00:54:57,520
and they only have a focus on kidnapped victims or people under the age of 18 ask yourself why

494
00:55:00,480 --> 00:55:06,080
that that's a really really good point and unfortunately we do live in a

495
00:55:07,680 --> 00:55:13,920
kind of a clickbait type of culture here's what's the big story that could really get you riled up

496
00:55:13,920 --> 00:55:21,680
and nonprofits and things like that can do the very very same thing and i think you're saying

497
00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:27,600
asking those questions why especially and i think this is another piece that i would imagine you

498
00:55:27,600 --> 00:55:34,080
would agree with is is it just arming yourself with the knowledge in general of yeah like now i know

499
00:55:35,520 --> 00:55:40,720
that sex trafficking is a is a is a piece of it but it's not it's not even close to the whole

500
00:55:40,720 --> 00:55:50,000
puzzle it's a minority of it um 70 year old being trafficked that is not that narrative of that little

501
00:55:50,000 --> 00:55:57,280
child being being kidnapped um so arming yourself with that knowledge allows you to ask those questions

502
00:55:57,280 --> 00:56:05,840
of why are they propping that up and that curiosity continue going on that will kind of lead you down

503
00:56:05,840 --> 00:56:10,000
down a path of asking good questions and maybe being able to narrow down ways that you can actually

504
00:56:10,000 --> 00:56:17,440
help and the good news is as as you had mentioned in even in your own local community there are

505
00:56:17,440 --> 00:56:24,240
organizations actually doing that you just have to do your homework absolutely and it's worth doing

506
00:56:24,240 --> 00:56:30,320
the homework now and if you don't have money to be able to offer to these organizations you can offer

507
00:56:30,320 --> 00:56:36,160
your time you can offer your resources there's so many different ways to help if you don't know how

508
00:56:36,160 --> 00:56:41,280
to help call the organizations and say hey i'm broke i don't have any money how can i help you

509
00:56:41,280 --> 00:56:48,640
they will give you something yeah yeah no that's good that's good because i i'll give you an example

510
00:56:48,640 --> 00:56:56,560
this wasn't what they uh a trafficking organization but my my wife um a couple years ago she volunteered

511
00:56:56,560 --> 00:57:03,600
out of the local um crisis pregnancy center and she wasn't giving a dime of her money but she was

512
00:57:03,600 --> 00:57:09,520
able to organize things there and the the closet they had some like clothes and diapers and things

513
00:57:09,520 --> 00:57:14,720
like that and she was able to do that again financially she didn't give a penny there but she

514
00:57:14,720 --> 00:57:21,040
helped pretty drastically um for that organization and yeah trafficking organizations any other place

515
00:57:21,040 --> 00:57:27,600
like that they'll find something for you to do for sure um i'm imagining there are a million

516
00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:33,120
ways that you could help even if it's not given a dime absolutely and that's the way it is with

517
00:57:33,120 --> 00:57:38,640
basically any uh real charity that you want to get involved with if they can't find something for

518
00:57:38,640 --> 00:57:44,480
you to do they probably don't need your money either yeah that's a really really good way to

519
00:57:44,480 --> 00:57:50,560
to phrase that uh let last thing i kind of wanted to to get into with you especially

520
00:57:50,560 --> 00:57:56,720
armed with this knowledge that okay it's not going to just be a stranger in fact it more than likely

521
00:57:56,720 --> 00:58:04,080
wouldn't be a stranger it's not just a young girl that will be sexually trafficked um

522
00:58:05,280 --> 00:58:11,760
what are ways that for individuals listening to this and maybe individuals that have loved

523
00:58:11,760 --> 00:58:18,400
ones that they wanted to arm with protection how can people be protected themselves to not even get

524
00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:25,920
into trafficking to begin with one of the biggest keys is to avoid manipulative behaviors and other

525
00:58:25,920 --> 00:58:33,200
people watch for these things and see them for the red flags that they are and run nine times out

526
00:58:33,200 --> 00:58:40,000
of ten when somebody is trafficked it's by somebody that has the power to manipulate you know the whole

527
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:46,400
kidnapping scenario is so rare because if you were to snatch somebody off the street what's the

528
00:58:46,400 --> 00:58:51,680
first thing that person's going to do they're going to fight they're going to fight for the

529
00:58:51,680 --> 00:58:56,080
like their life depends on it because as far as they know their life does depend on it the average

530
00:58:56,080 --> 00:59:01,440
lifespan of somebody in trafficking is only seven years at the end of that usually they're dead

531
00:59:02,160 --> 00:59:07,360
less than two percent of all victims actually survive it is imperative that we stop people from

532
00:59:07,360 --> 00:59:12,400
getting involved with people who have these manipulative behaviors they will absolutely pray

533
00:59:12,400 --> 00:59:18,640
on somebody they look for somebody that has something missing from their life and they promise

534
00:59:18,640 --> 00:59:27,280
that to them in order to get their trust and to start building this relationship and eventually

535
00:59:27,280 --> 00:59:34,000
exploit them use it against them they will threaten them you'll start to see behavioral changes in

536
00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:42,800
people if somebody is going through something like that it might just just be domestic violence

537
00:59:42,800 --> 00:59:48,720
and it could be something as nefarious as human trafficking but all of it needs to be taken seriously

538
00:59:48,720 --> 00:59:54,960
one of the greatest things that we can do for our fellow man is to take a moment to step back

539
00:59:54,960 --> 01:00:00,080
and do what that little boy did for me that day he didn't have to say the words but he said them

540
01:00:00,080 --> 01:00:11,200
with his eyes are you okay what can I do to help are you okay that that is something incredibly

541
01:00:11,200 --> 01:00:19,600
important on the individual side that there's some type of psychological term to this i'm kind of

542
01:00:19,600 --> 01:00:26,560
blanking on it but essentially it's just trusting your gut something there's a red flag there the way

543
01:00:26,560 --> 01:00:32,560
that they looked at me the way that they're kind of coming across maybe i'm able to pinpoint exactly

544
01:00:32,560 --> 01:00:38,960
what it is but maybe i'm not but listening to that we don't want to just shove that down and act like

545
01:00:38,960 --> 01:00:44,720
it's nothing because it very well could be and also listening to the loved ones around us not

546
01:00:44,720 --> 01:00:50,000
that they're right about everything but if everybody else is around us picking up on something and i'm

547
01:00:50,000 --> 01:00:58,640
not something's off and we need to listen to those to those cues there and then also on the other

548
01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:05,280
side i do have a good psychological sociological term for this and that's the bystander effect

549
01:01:05,280 --> 01:01:14,800
and that's unfortunately incredibly common where if there's a emergency that happens some somebody's

550
01:01:14,800 --> 01:01:23,200
down on the pavement there and there's a lot of people around we tend to have the uh viewpoint

551
01:01:23,200 --> 01:01:28,880
that well somebody else will get to it um yeah there's a hundred other people they'll get to it

552
01:01:28,880 --> 01:01:36,960
i don't need to call 911 and then people just die alone out on the street sometimes and you need to

553
01:01:36,960 --> 01:01:42,480
take that onus not just in an emergency situation like that although yes don't wait for someone to

554
01:01:42,480 --> 01:01:50,480
call 911 you you go do it um but just like that little boy somebody that's just looks like they're

555
01:01:50,480 --> 01:01:56,880
distraught you don't even necessarily have to say a word but that little boy communicated so much

556
01:01:56,880 --> 01:02:02,880
to you just with his eyes that cashier at walmart that looks like they're having a rough day hey

557
01:02:03,520 --> 01:02:09,600
i hope you have a good day today ma'am thanks for thanks for your help those little things asking

558
01:02:09,600 --> 01:02:16,800
questions checking in on a loved one that you haven't talked to in a while you have no idea how much

559
01:02:16,800 --> 01:02:23,200
that can mean to somebody and that's something that we're trying to engage our kids with um not

560
01:02:23,200 --> 01:02:28,320
just with uh with with trafficking but especially with sexual abuse things just in general because

561
01:02:28,960 --> 01:02:35,040
we know that like with sexual abuse like with trafficking it's generally with people that they

562
01:02:35,040 --> 01:02:40,720
that they know and we're not we're trying to not scare our kids but also just say like hey

563
01:02:40,720 --> 01:02:45,360
like we're we're gonna check in with you if somebody ever does touch you in a bad place like

564
01:02:45,360 --> 01:02:50,960
you can talk to mommy and daddy but mommy and daddy are also gonna pick up on your cues like

565
01:02:50,960 --> 01:02:58,400
if you're really off we're gonna ask you but what's wrong um and that's because we love them

566
01:02:58,400 --> 01:03:03,360
and we want to make sure that they're okay and you need to be doing the same thing with your loved

567
01:03:03,360 --> 01:03:09,120
ones around you if something's off they're not talking and they're usually mr or mrs chatterbox

568
01:03:10,240 --> 01:03:16,480
something's off and maybe it's something minor maybe their dog died and they need to talk about it

569
01:03:16,480 --> 01:03:23,600
but maybe something really big's going on so don't be afraid to ask those questions just

570
01:03:23,600 --> 01:03:31,200
ask them what's going on what you look upset minor things and they may really open up to you so

571
01:03:32,560 --> 01:03:39,600
don't miss that don't miss the other people around you and as as we both believe as as being believers

572
01:03:39,600 --> 01:03:49,120
there's god put that little boy there in your life 100 he put him there and god is putting you there

573
01:03:49,120 --> 01:03:55,600
right now to speak to to other trafficking women and men and other people that have been involved

574
01:03:55,600 --> 01:04:00,960
in these difficult situations but listeners god's place in you and your life for a reason to

575
01:04:02,960 --> 01:04:08,880
maybe it's to talk more into your kids maybe it's to be involved with somebody in your community

576
01:04:08,880 --> 01:04:14,720
i don't know but don't miss those moments that every day you can make an impact to somebody

577
01:04:14,720 --> 01:04:25,040
that's around you absolutely remember to love your neighbors yes yes 100 that is reason why that is a

578
01:04:25,040 --> 01:04:31,040
very strong command in in scripture and those neighbors are not just the people that live

579
01:04:31,040 --> 01:04:38,560
right next door to you they're all throughout your community check in with people i love the

580
01:04:38,560 --> 01:04:44,720
way you put that you know it would have made a world of difference that day if one person had

581
01:04:44,720 --> 01:04:51,680
asked me are you okay i may have actually been able to get some help i had to go back and get

582
01:04:51,680 --> 01:04:59,040
through everything for a couple more months after that it could have changed if somebody had asked

583
01:04:59,040 --> 01:05:08,480
are you okay and looking back the reason i believe that didn't happen was to install that value in

584
01:05:08,480 --> 01:05:17,440
me now that i know the power of asking are you okay and i do check in on my friends and every

585
01:05:17,440 --> 01:05:22,080
now and then i just get this weird feeling something's not right with this person over here

586
01:05:22,080 --> 01:05:26,480
and i'll check in with them and usually it's because there's something pretty serious going on

587
01:05:26,480 --> 01:05:32,240
and god has put it on my heart to check in on them because he knows that i'm going to understand

588
01:05:32,240 --> 01:05:42,560
what they're going through yeah there's times that we undervalue the role that that we serve now

589
01:05:43,520 --> 01:05:50,160
again as as as christians we certainly believe that it's we're not a workspace religion it's

590
01:05:50,160 --> 01:05:58,320
based on god's grace on us you know it's nothing that we did but how joyous that is to be involved

591
01:05:58,320 --> 01:06:02,800
and to be involved in somebody's life to ask if you're okay and they tell us something's

592
01:06:02,800 --> 01:06:10,240
wrongs going on like that is a joy to be a part of that and and we need to view that as a joy

593
01:06:11,040 --> 01:06:20,320
that we get to be involved in somebody's life that way instead of just uh oh well i need to

594
01:06:20,320 --> 01:06:25,280
give them their space i don't want to be involved in there and their junk i've got enough going on

595
01:06:25,280 --> 01:06:34,400
in my life that this is not the way that we're supposed to live right okay well i i'm imagining

596
01:06:34,400 --> 01:06:40,880
people listening to this have heard your story um probably want to get in touch with you maybe know

597
01:06:40,880 --> 01:06:47,200
more about about the things you're currently doing know about your book so give the give the audience

598
01:06:47,200 --> 01:06:52,080
all the links and things like that of how they can read your book and and get to know more about you

599
01:06:52,080 --> 01:07:01,600
well i just published my 13th book on june 1st um so all of my books you can find on barns and noble

600
01:07:01,600 --> 01:07:05,680
if you want a kindle version you can find that on amazon too but the paperback versions are barns

601
01:07:05,680 --> 01:07:13,920
and noble exclusives um you can find links to all of them through my website growthfromdarkness.com

602
01:07:14,560 --> 01:07:18,800
you can also find the link there to reach out to me on facebook which is facebook.com slash

603
01:07:18,800 --> 01:07:23,680
amanda blackwood survivor i'm very active on facebook and i love chatting with people openly

604
01:07:23,680 --> 01:07:30,640
there about anything and everything um i've had a health journey recently i'm very open about

605
01:07:30,640 --> 01:07:35,520
and i talk to people about this all the time about just because we see everybody else's

606
01:07:35,520 --> 01:07:40,160
highlight reels doesn't mean that we don't have we can't be transparent in our own lives and show

607
01:07:40,160 --> 01:07:46,240
people the real side of life um i also have an etsy page if people are interested in getting prints

608
01:07:46,240 --> 01:07:52,560
of my artwork i have an exclusive um one-man art show coming up in the month of august so i'm holding

609
01:07:52,560 --> 01:07:57,120
back on a lot of the original artworks but starting in september a lot of this stuff is going to be

610
01:07:57,120 --> 01:08:02,960
offered on etsy anything that doesn't sell at this art show so definitely watch for that too

611
01:08:02,960 --> 01:08:09,360
awesome well i'll have all of that linked down in the show notes it's been a wonderful conversation

612
01:08:09,360 --> 01:08:14,320
thank you so much amanda for for sharing your story with us and also giving us some tangible

613
01:08:14,320 --> 01:08:21,200
ways that we can all be involved in uh anti trafficking movements absolutely and thank you

614
01:08:21,200 --> 01:08:26,640
for listening thank you for giving me the opportunity to use my voice and to help other people to

615
01:08:26,640 --> 01:08:32,720
find ways to get involved absolutely and thank you again to everybody that tuned in for uh this

616
01:08:32,720 --> 01:08:47,440
latest episode and i hope you all have a wonderful week and we'll see you again soon