Welcome back to the party's over.
I'm your host, Kyler Dongie.
My co-host is always Jonathan Bird in the hand Stolge.
How are you, John?
Doing well, how are you?
Doing good, I'm doing good.
Today we have a special guest, which is my wife, Samantha Dongie.
How are you, Samantha?
I am well, how are you?
I'm good, I'm good.
Well, let's get straight into it.
Bears, you hunting them?
We're hunting them.
Hell yeah.
Currently looking at Henry 4570, 4570 government specifically.
When you brought up the whole I also want to hunt other things, how it would just have
a deer if you shot it with a 4570.
It seems like if I'm going to be out here hunting, I would like to get either meat or
pelts, ideally both, but if I were to shoot something with like a half pound of lead,
I fear that it would in fact give me neither one of those things, neither skin nor pelts.
My plan, I was talking to the guy I was on duty with about this because he is an avid
gun guy.
We came to the conclusion that it would make the most sense to just bring a shotgun as
well for other game and then in the off chance that you see a bear, you don't want to shoot
it with a fucking a slug.
That makes sense.
From a 12 gauge because it'll just run up and eat you.
You just eat the slugs well, yeah.
It would be like damn that tickled, now I'm going to kill you.
Something I've always wondered, why don't we use like regular military caliber to hunt?
I'm sure there's some regulations or something I don't actually know.
I could say pretty confidently that a 7.62 to the chest would stop most living things.
Maybe two or three, but regardless, some of them ARs you can rattle them things off pretty
quickly.
Most of the meat and skin would still be intact.
I think also obviously if you're shooting rapidly, you're losing accuracy.
The first one's going to be good and then you're going to be fucking all over the place.
You could still hit it, but if you're hitting it at glancing blows, it's not going to die.
I suppose.
I don't know though.
I don't know the actual answer to that.
Although they say for hikers, the best thing you can do is just dump a 9mm into it and
it'll cease.
To kill hikers?
Well, no, for hikers to kill bears.
Although I imagine dumping a 9mm to a hiker would kill them as well.
Yeah, that makes sense.
I've never dumped a 9mm to a hiker.
I can't really speak on that with any authority.
I had a guy break into my house on Monday.
Yes, you did.
And they aimed a gun at a human being for the first time in my life, so that was weird.
It was a good time.
Creepy old guy.
Don't know where he's from.
He told the cops that he was my neighbor.
He is not.
They let him go.
He could be lurking.
He might come back.
I don't know why that would deter though, because even if he was your neighbor, he still
walked directly into your house uninvited.
He claimed that he was confused and thought it was his house and just wandered in thinking
he was walking into his home.
Did you not even get the option of pressing charges?
They didn't come back.
They didn't get a statement from me or anything.
They just talked to the dude and left.
Ask the bare minimum.
Like, oh, your neighbor?
Okay.
Not ask for an address.
Yeah, I watched them the whole time.
It did not appear that they got any information from him.
Jacksonville, North Carolina, baby.
Cream of the crop.
Best of the best.
So that's my fun story for the week.
What do you think about hunting bears and other game simultaneously?
I mean, I feel like you're not going to run into both of them.
You're either going to run into a bear or a deer, because I feel like those two things
in the same vicinity are probably not likely.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess it depends on how long you sit there and everything.
But I think it's possible to run into both.
You're not hunting for a half an hour.
You're hunting.
You could be in a stand for 12 hours.
Is your intention to take both guns on the same hunt?
I was just thinking in general, you go out for a bear, your intention is to take a bear
and nothing else.
You go out for a deer, your intention is to take a deer and nothing else.
If I had all the time in the world, I would be fine with that.
But if I'm taking one of my two days off to go sit in a tree for 12 hours, if I see a
deer, I'm shooting it, whether or not I came there to shoot a deer.
Fair enough.
Assuming they're in season, like I don't know what the seasons are.
If you can shoot both in shotgun season here, I have no idea the rules.
But if I see a deer, I ain't got a lot of money, man.
I'm shooting that deer and I'm eating that deer for a couple of months.
That's fair.
That's where I'm at with it.
If you find and shoot a deer, the blast is also going to scare away.
A bear is not going to hear the blast and be like, hmm, I should go investigate that.
Personally, if I shoot a deer, I'm done for the day.
I'm not dragging multiple animals also.
They die.
You got to get them out of there.
So you're just bringing both guns in preparation of seeing one or the other.
Yeah.
If I'm going.
So not both.
Like if I did not have the intention of hunting a bear, I would only bring a shotgun, obviously.
But like if I had the intention of hunting only a deer, I would not bring a 4570 because
it's just going to obliterate it.
And if I was only hunting deer, I wouldn't fuck with the bear.
If it came back, I'd just shut the fuck up and hope it doesn't notice me.
Offer the bear or offer the deer and peace offering.
But because I want to hunt a bear, I'm going to bring the 4570 so I can protect myself
against the bear.
And it's not like the guns are heavy.
You know, you may be carrying 30 pounds at most on your back.
That's not like that's doable.
You know, that's what I think I'm going to do.
I know nothing about guns or hunting, so I'm just here.
I know nothing about hunting.
I know minimal about guns.
I know a fair amount about guns, but nothing about hunting.
So I want to take the hunting like the free safety class.
There's an in-person one.
Is there an online one?
There's a free webinar.
Now, the one that part of that that caught my ear was free.
So big fan of that.
Actually, my favorite things.
That's fair.
You want to do a beekeeping class?
Yes, I would love to keep bees on the 23rd of next month.
I don't 23rd, 24th, 25th.
I don't know if we'll be here, but if we are, yes.
Because there's nothing in my lease about beekeeping.
You should ask before you get kicked out.
I read the whole lease.
They're going to claim some blanket thing about keeping pests.
Here's the real question.
Under North Carolina law, can they make us get rid of them?
Are bees protected?
That's a lawyer question because we tried to look into that and there's way too much
information for my little brain to process.
I feel like we could just say we put a box outside and say that bees happen to...
If we have 12,000 bees, are we expected to pay the pet fee on all 12,000 bees?
Yes.
Just the queen.
$36,000 in pet fees to keep our beehive.
They die every three weeks.
We have to continually repit.
Like I said, just feign ignorance.
Oh, I just put a box outside and these bees came.
We were going to repurpose this hive box as a planter.
We were going to get some nice daffodils and these bees just showed up.
There is an insane amount of fire ants all over the property.
Yeah, I hate them.
Yeah, they are everywhere.
I thought my toe was going to fall off because I got bit by one and it got infected.
It's very red and angry, but...
Like right now?
Yes.
Damn.
Get that away from me, Herbert.
I feel like, be like, hey, you take care of these ants.
We'll get rid of these mysteriously appearing bees.
Quid pro quo.
Or they could just...
Are the bees going to take care of the ants?
Do their job and fix the pipes that spray water under our house and put up the fence
that they promised us and get rid of the...
Because if they don't, I'll...
Sue.
Burn down their office building.
Definitely caught that on the other mic.
Well...
Good thing I don't think our property manager, Reva, will listen to this.
Not yet.
Something.
Big things coming though.
Big things.
$20 for AI, so we're on the up and coming.
Up and up, baby.
But speaking of hunting, that brings up the interesting question, right?
Wait, I got one thing I got to address with Samantha first.
I'm scared.
You're a guest in my home.
I would appreciate it if you used the bathroom that you would put the seat up when you are
done.
Men live in this home.
What am I supposed to just accidentally pee on the seat?
Also women.
The women in your home outnumber you greatly.
The cats and dogs don't count, the people are even.
The people are not even.
There is a little person.
She's still a girl.
She does not live here.
She doesn't pee in the toilet.
She will when she does.
Not yet.
Someday.
But my answer to that is no.
You're the worst.
Okay, what were we going on about?
Say you're out hunting deer, bear, any number of creature.
You shoot it and it...
Huh?
Okay.
You shoot it and upon receiving the bullet to the chest it stands up and just stares
to you with screams.
What are you doing in this situation?
Run first of all.
Do you think you can outrun a demonically possessed bear?
I mean I think running is better than just standing there and taking it.
You think you're going to...
If a gunshot to the chest didn't deter it, you think your bare hands are going to do
any better job at keeping it away?
Yeah.
Bare hands.
I think my best defense because I'm not fighting that thing and I'm not outrunning that thing,
I'm going to get out my raunchiest means and just rapid fire at it.
I hope that I scare this ancient being away.
You could just start screeching and yodeling and making the most uncomfortable sounds so
maybe you can deter it.
Isn't that a thing they do?
Yeah.
So wouldn't it be like, oh, this thing I'm hunting isn't screaming and running away from
me.
It's actually making the same exact noise at me.
What do I do with it?
Imagine this.
You just make the most unhinged sounds at a skinwalker, which is what this episode is
about.
I don't think we've said that word yet.
And the skinwalker is like, all right, bet.
Fucking daps you up.
Didn't know you were chill like that.
You one of us.
You just haven't hit the right notes and it's like, oh.
A word?
Why didn't you say so sooner, huh?
Was this skinwalker equivalent of a Crip walk?
I mean...
Skinwalk.
It's just walking around with your skin peeling off your back.
The skin strut.
All right, Sam, tell us about skinwalkers.
You are a resident part Native American.
Yes.
Since we're both aggressively European.
My, I am of the Cherokee, apparently.
This is all something my mother did.
I have no proof of anything.
What do you mean your mother did?
My mother was just like, hey.
Your mother became Cherokee?
I mean, she was just like, hey.
My dad said he was Cherokee, so we're going to look into this.
We're going to go to South Carolina and go to a powwow so you can meet this chief.
You small brown Mexican children are going to go meet this fully Native American chief,
living out of a trailer, by the way.
The chief was or you guys were?
The chief was.
Okay.
Surrounded by like old teepee.
Like sticks.
Like a, it was like a historical...
Were the teepees up?
No, just the sticks.
Not like the covering of the teepee.
Interesting.
So it's just a trailer in the middle of a teepee field, but there was a powwow.
We met the chief and he took time to like talk to us and get a vibe of what he thought
we were before he presented us with our names that he chose.
Did he like walk up to you like, hey, how are you?
How's it going?
Or was he like, how?
Oh, he was decrepitely old.
So...
Welcome to...
Did he sound like a normal guy or like a stereotypical TV Native American?
I think he just communicated in like grunts and noises.
Like I don't think he spoke an actual word.
Like we were just like introducing ourselves and talking to him.
He was just like, hmm.
Stereotypical TV Native American elder.
That's gotta be like, if I was a Native American, I would love doing that, dude.
Like, hey, the white folks are visiting.
I'm like, oh word?
Chief Longhorn.
I gotta say though, it was pretty like pretty cool to have people doing like the authentic
drums and instruments and stuff while people are dancing around a giant circle in a massive
bonfire.
Yeah, they look super cool.
It was actually really fun.
It was downpouring rain when we went, but so we were freezing, but it was still fun.
Did you do the Native American psychedelic?
What's that called?
Ayahuasca.
I did not because I was seven years old.
I was a child.
Peyote?
Yeah, that's the one I'm thinking of.
Like all the natives I know, they all do a shit ton and get away with it because it's
like, it's okay.
I live on a small shitty chunk of land in New Mexico and we're like, oh my bad, bro.
I didn't realize.
So everybody on my mom's side that got registered and everything got names.
They're quote unquote Native American names.
My aunt was Waterlily.
My uncle was-
They're just making shit up.
Shadow Wolf.
My cousin was Shadow Hawk.
Which uncle?
Daniel.
Shadow Wolf.
Do I know Shadow Wolf?
No, you haven't met him.
He's just on Facebook.
He comments on my stuff, so you probably see him.
I should send him this podcast.
I think he'd find it funny.
My name was Little Fish.
My mother's name was Little Turtle and my brother, bless his soul, his name was Slow
Turtle.
That is his legally given Native American name, which makes sense for when he was a
child.
He did everything at an excruciatingly slow pace.
He took his sweet time.
But imagine your uncle is something super dope, like Shadow Wolf.
Again, if I was a Native American person, I would be given up the worst names ever.
Can I go to a Native American tribe and be like, maybe give me a name?
Honestly, probably.
I don't think they verified us at all.
Your name is Squealing Pig.
Shout out to Brooklyn, Albany.
But I mean, the perks were with this Native American name and certificate and everything
and us being verified is if we decided to go to school in South Carolina, all of our
college would be paid for.
Oh, that's pretty cool.
Well, if only you lived like an hour from the border and could do that.
I don't know.
What about online?
That's a good question.
You're like right there.
If like things needed to happen in person, you could just drive there.
That's valid.
And be like, yes, I live here.
I have a PO box.
See?
I should look into that.
Floating Fish.
That would be another name I'd give somebody.
Floating Fish.
Stinking Dog.
Just be getting fucked.
Like just so absurd with it.
You're a raunchy beaver.
You know, just fucking idiot.
You guys.
A name of high esteem.
In due time, in 20 years, well, maybe more than 20, maybe like 50, when you're decrepably
old men and can deem yourselves Native American leaders, you can create your own clan.
First of all, I'm going to be in better shape when I'm 70 than I am now.
What is the science behind that?
I only eat beef.
I'm better than you.
I'm going to die in my mid forties.
So well, I would prefer if you didn't.
I would at least you're older than him by a year.
It's a year longer.
You're older than all of us.
Yeah.
I'm not dying until I'm like 105.
Okay.
At least so unpleasant.
Imagine you walk in and you can just feel your bones rubbing against each other.
I feel like that's not a thing anymore.
Dude.
Stem cells.
It's like, all right, I'm 20 years younger in that part of my body.
There's going to fling a baby fetus inside you and you're like, you're good, bud.
Have you not seen Family Guy?
You just.
I have no idea what you're referencing.
Sucking spinal fluid out of dead fetuses.
So you not watch Family Guy?
There's so much Family Guy, dude.
There's like 15 years of Family Guy.
I'm pretty sure that's a Family Guy.
It has to be.
Nobody else could get away with that.
South Park.
American dad.
American dad's not that raunchy.
It's just dumb.
Yeah, fair.
I feel like once you're past a certain age, they should revoke your right to drive and
just give you the right to hard drugs.
After 70, why can't you do meth?
Because it's going to shorten your lifespan.
To be fair, they should have done that to you when you were like 17.
What?
Revoke your right to drive.
First off, you taught me how to drive in a school parking lot.
So of course I'm going to be horrible at driving.
I almost killed us twice.
But since then, I have had much practice and a child.
So I drive like an old lady.
Your mother told me I drive like an old lady.
I have watched you into back into a parking space and I'm going to have to side with John
here.
Do you want to talk about backing into the parking space?
We're going to take that little fish.
How many times have I hit the stairs with the car and how many times have you hit the
stairs with the car?
How many turns do I take to get into the parking spot?
How many turns do you take to get the parking spot?
The same amount.
What stairs?
That is not true.
You take like a nine point turn for what should be a look back.
That's not true.
Your stairs are so avoidable.
That's what I'm saying.
Not those stairs, the stairs that are behind the parking spot.
Oh, all the way back.
I was in the house and just heard a slam and the house shook a little bit and I go out
and I'm like, did you?
He's like, yes.
Did you damage the car?
No.
The stairs?
No.
Okay.
It's the stairs.
The house just like.
That's probably why your pipes are leaking.
The shock from the stair impact.
Your pipes are leaking?
What?
In our laundry room, if you stand on the floor, it's like not real hardwood.
It's like the paneling, whatever.
If you step on it, water just leaks out from underneath.
If you look, because our house is basically on cinder blocks.
Not basically.
It is on cinder blocks.
If you look under the house where the laundry room is, it's just constantly dripping.
It froze actually the other day when it got 20 degrees, our pipes decided to just freeze.
That was stupid.
It's so bad.
Anyway.
We reached out to our landlord and we're like, hey, our pipes are frozen.
We don't have running water.
Can you help?
And you know what their solution was?
Just let it go.
They're like, yeah, they should be thought by tomorrow.
You guys will be fine.
Shout out them.
Back to skin walkers.
Yes.
What kind of questions?
Well, how about you just tell us more about them?
Okay.
Or do we need to chat GPT?
The origin of them is said to be from the Navajo clan.
They are previous shamans, witch doctors, they have many names.
Basically the basis is they were people of quote unquote magical background that sold
their soul for immortality and in return lost their soul, became shape shifting immortal
beings.
It's really hard to get information out of Native Americans for it because they really
just kind of avoid the subject and refuse to talk about it because they firmly believe
in them because obviously Native Americans are very spiritual beings and they firmly
believe in.
Yes.
What?
I don't know what's.
Is that why you collect rocks?
I just like they're cool.
Okay.
Probably have a touch of the tism and shiny things attract me.
But they, any Native American group, if you ask them, they just will completely avoid
and shut down and not want to talk about it at all because they say one of the myths is
the more that you talk about them and bring attention to them, that's when they will become
more active.
But yeah, it's said that the preferred shape shifting shapes that they choose is wolves
or deer.
I thought they don't shape shift.
I thought it was like they kill something and then inhabit its body.
So once they kill something, then they can take its shape because they basically eat
them.
So what about the stories of them being like real stinky and grotesque looking because
they like don't fit correctly in it?
Well, yes, they can also take skin.
But it said like with people, they're.
Skin marker.
Yeah.
Makes sense.
They take the skin of like people because obviously it's harder to change into an exact
person than it is to change into an animal.
But it said that once they kill you, they take your face and then they use your, they
mimic your voice.
Your mannerisms try to trap other people.
That's why they say when you're out in the woods, particularly at night, don't do that.
But if you whistle, it will attract them.
So don't whistle in the woods ever, especially at night.
And if you hear screaming or somebody, you know, asking for help, it's obviously not
them.
I know what I'm doing.
But you want to go wood was on.
Hell yeah, brother.
It is a more common now, obviously, because people are inhabiting the middle of the woods
and houses that skinwalkers will take the form of their pets.
That is a common thing of people having seen like their pet, but it is acting freaky or
looking wrong, acting humanoid, not sounding right.
But especially because we're close to the Appalachians.
It's not that close.
We're like hours.
Something I was.
Yeah.
But if you're a skinwalker with unlimited time, you can travel wherever you want.
With a tiny dog body.
I was reading these skinwalker stories in preparation for this.
So we're all so fortunate that they only choose to harass Native Americans on reservations
in New Mexico and not anyone else ever.
So really, unfortunately for me, I recently became a Native American.
That makes me a much bigger target than I was 20 minutes ago.
So because they're demons, you know, they're possessed soulless beings.
One of the few ways that it's alleged to kill them is if you figure out the original identities
of the original shaman, original medicine man before he became a skinwalker.
And if you say its name to its face, it will slowly begin to die over the next couple of
days.
Yeah, fucking right.
Mon, pine cone.
Don't fucking try me.
No.
How did you know?
These fucking like scary, immortal beings are just the Ruppelstiltskins of the fucking
Native world.
Is there like a, is there like a fucking little black book with all of their names in it?
How are you supposed to find that out?
You're supposed to shout out random shit.
It's hard to kill them.
Well, like a native name generator on Google going, they got like six animals to choose
from.
Not a whole lot of adjectives.
Really?
You're I'd say it's not, it's nowhere near that hard, right?
I mean, I don't know, man.
I'm not that creative.
I don't think I'd be able to come up with that many names.
Yeah, I hear just like screaming goat, running coyote, flapping eagle.
And he's like, oh fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
The skinwalker hunters actually just yelling at a random deer.
It's just scared out of time.
They're just going through a list.
Well there's apparently other ways to kill it too.
Apparently this is like, people say is where the werewolf origins started.
Like the werewolf killing tactics.
Cause they say silver through the heart can kill it.
And also white ash.
So from like a white ash tree on a bullet or on an object, through the head or chest
can kill it.
So keep your, keep your white ash on hand.
Imagine, imagine you're getting attacked by like, I don't know, a skinwalker and you just
turn around and moon it with our white asses.
You just, no, just burst into flames.
No.
Just walk around like instead of pocket sand, you got pocket ash in case you ever run into
a skinwalker.
Just right in your face.
What would my neighbors think if there's like a fucking upright dog staring at me and I'm
just standing there with my phone bright star dancing fire, running deer, strong bear, gentle
toe, laughing brook, black flower.
Well.
They're going to call the police.
The police are going to show up and get no information from you.
Cause that's what they do here.
Better come with silver and white ash.
Is that your dog?
You'd be like, nope.
They'll be like, ah, well good luck.
Somebody's dog.
Sparkling war path dancer.
It's also, so because it's so hard to get information from Native Americans about them,
people just kind of have apparently figured it out via trial and error, figured it out
via legends.
But they say like when you're, that's why they say don't stray from the path when you're
in the forest or if you are follow animal tracks or where like deer and other creatures
have traveled because they have quote unquote permission.
So like.
What the fuck are you talking about?
I got to throw a rock in there.
You said to stay on the beaten path.
Say yes.
Then why the fuck did Robert Frost tell me to take the path less traveled when I was
in fifth grade?
Was he trying to kill me via skinwalker?
Robert Frost was a skinwalker.
Tell me that name doesn't sound like Robert does not sound very native.
Well he can't have his full name because people say his full name.
He's going to die.
Dreaming frost.
So his name is just imagine Robert Frost, your friend, if it's cause my frosty Bob.
Um, we'll be like to know our 2013 Pinterest name generator, um, native American names.
Yours is actually a sparkling war path dancer and yours is why twitching, uh, twitching
dream dancer.
And I am dancing going on.
I am gifted.
No, you're fucking not.
Drum dancer.
Why are we all fucking dancing?
It would appear that there's a lot of dancers except for the jingler.
Everybody is a dance.
Ah, yes.
Two types of native Americans.
You stay away from those jinglers dog.
The jinglers, those are the ones that'll get you.
That was Robert Cross real name frost jingler.
Interesting.
Frosty Bob the jingler.
Crazy dog.
He's just so fucking stupid.
Sounds like a bad 2000s punk band.
Yeah.
So we can infiltrate, not infiltrate, but like self invite ourselves to some old native
man's house and get names.
You know, as I said earlier, I met the chief and my uncle shadow Wolf was quite close with
him.
You mentioned he was very old.
Is he still alive?
No, he died.
Just text shadow Wolf.
Let's have him give us names.
That throws a wrench in it.
I could definitely get any information from shoot him a text right now.
Let's get names.
What would you like me to text?
The shad master.
Don't call him that.
That's just Logan Shada.
What am I asking for?
Native names.
He is large and red.
I am large and thin.
Really.
I think that's all you want to give you.
Native American.
Yeah.
Large and black.
That is such a criteria.
Why is that a chief?
He's just a wolf.
Well, can he give us the fucking contact for the chief?
The chief who's dead.
Did they not replace him where they're like, all right, we're giving up now.
The guy died.
Not another one.
I haven't been to that area in many years.
I can ask.
I will reach out to shadow Wolf himself and ask him the questions.
I swear if I get a native American name from my people before you get one from yours, I'm
very upset.
Who are your people?
Dominique, Sophie Smith.
Don't do that.
She's just gonna get mad and like report you.
Tell them if they'll give me a sick native American name, they can have my courage Tiki.
There's gotta be something big in their culture.
Has to be.
I bet you money.
Your name is gonna have red in it and his name is gonna have long in it.
Well, yeah, that makes sense.
Wow.
You're really going out on a limb there.
I don't know how you got to that.
My name is little fish.
My brother's is slow turtle.
I think they're just adjectives besides shadow Hawk.
I forget what my other cousin's name was.
Adjective and then an animal.
Yeah.
Or being.
Yeah, that seems to be the formula.
Or Lily.
I don't know.
Shadow Hawk.
Is that all we got?
Or is there more skin walking to be done?
You said you were like a subject matter expert.
Yeah, I don't know how to just.
I don't know.
What kind of questions do you have?
Do you know the ritual?
Apparently there's a ritual that has to take place.
To become one?
Yeah.
You probably eat somebody.
It's definitely getting in contact with the devil or a demon to offer your soul and sell
your soul to get that immortality.
Like I said, that's why the people, not just anybody can become a skin walker.
It has to be somebody who has like either a shaman or a medicine man or magical background
because that's when those are the people that are most in tune with the earth and in tune
with the spirits.
Why would you be a real in tune with everything that's going on?
I'm going to be bad because they.
Native American Satan, but a bunch.
They just want immortality.
They want, you know, the power of endless life and the power of power.
You know what I'd love is to be miserable.
Like say you're decrepit old shaman in a clan and you're like, I'm tired of this.
Why is he in the client die or.
That's not very, uh, it's not very cool with them.
Yeah, that's fucked up.
Anyways, must be from Vinton.
Accurate, but they are, you know, old and they're like, Hey, I don't want to die.
How can I live longer?
I could be a face eating forest dwelling creature that nothing can kill me and I can just live
forever and eat people.
I can, besides the living fair part, I can do all of that right now.
No magic required.
I mean, I've been alive for a thousand years.
Maybe they just fucking did it wrong.
You know, you should take that up with the skin walkers and the ritual is not like out
there because people are going to just invite demons and possessions trying to become skin
walkers.
Wow.
So you seem like somebody who would have more knowledge than us on the whole celebrities
that act like they worship the devil thing.
Let's hear about that.
I don't, that would have to be a whole separate podcast.
Send it.
So people have talked on other.
Sorry.
Real quick tangent, uh, about getting native American names.
I don't really think it's a real thing.
At least for my tribe and the ones surrounding me, it's more like how Chinese you will have
their names in Mandarin, but choose English names.
You just get to choose and do I just get to choose anything?
Hang on.
She's still, she's still typing.
Sounds like it.
If that's the case, don't tell your brother to get a cooler name than slow turtle.
The whole thing was that it was given by the chief.
It's supposed to be great honor.
You got to earn it by doing nothing.
And again, yeah, it's just a separate name.
It's not like this is your new legal name.
It's just like a nickname.
It could be to be given honor of being bestowed a name given by the chief of the tribe.
Interesting.
How does one go about declaring a tribe?
Let's find out.
Let's let's look.
This actually seems like it could be a pretty simple process.
Let's just become a tribe and assign ourselves really cool names.
Do we even need to start a tribe or can we just join one?
Well, I don't want to join one because then you're like, you know, you're playing Russia
to let how cool your name be.
I don't think you could start a new one.
Why not?
It's not a religion.
We can establish things.
Where were you born?
Iowa.
Oh, so you were you're a native to America.
Yeah.
Me.
Yeah.
As am I as as as a you.
She doesn't count.
Oh, that's right.
You're already you're already taken.
So let's get out.
Yeah, let's just let's just declare a sub a tribe.
Let's call it call up Sammy.
A non acknowledged tribe is the easiest, but in order to become a federally recognized
tribe, you must meet seven mandatory requirements outlined in 25 CFR part 83 in public law,
103 tech, 454 most likely to set a new Native American tribe.
It would have to be by U.S. court decision or by an act of Congress.
You imagine if two just goofy Midwestern white dudes went to Congress and were like,
yeah, we'd like to be the the slayer tribe.
We're a new group of Native Americans.
I was born here, so I would like land.
So I don't think that would go well for us to answer a question about the celebrities
and demons thing.
They say that how they get their fame, power, money, yada yada is to sell their soul.
People have talked about it on podcasts that once you are ready and desperate enough to
become famous, a man, a very handsome person, very pretty attractive person will come to
you and offer you the deal.
That's when you sign it and sign your soul away.
And you know, there's all this stuff like have you heard of Adreno Chrome?
The fuck is that?
Oh my God.
It's so you're telling me if I want to be famous, I just got to get real desperate.
Ryan Reynolds is going to show up and be like, here it is, baby.
And that's it at the cost of your soul and your with with what soul Sam?
OK, listen, Ginger, at the expense also is, you know, your life is significantly cut short.
That's why they say all of these so many pop stars rarely do you have a pop star that lives
to be an old age.
Not impossible.
I said rarely, rarely.
My favorite pop star.
Not very often, not as often as like the general population.
They all die of whatever reason.
But drug overdose to do that to you.
I think it's kind of weird that like all of them die at twenty seven.
Yeah, like all six either killing themselves.
It's either like suicide, be a drug addiction, be a whatever, which, you know, they would
say like celebrities make sense for them doing these things.
But every single one.
How often do people get wildly like?
Ungodly famous by the age of twenty seven.
Not very often.
Yes.
And then they all die at that age.
That's a little weird.
Or like, you know, the stuff like all the conspiracy theories of other celebrity deaths,
like saying that they're still alive or like the Michael Jackson fiasco.
Tell me more about that.
I don't know what you mean.
That the doctor killed him, right?
Yeah.
I would say a fiasco or just like a bad doctor.
Exactly.
It's it's just all up in the air because why would a celebrity who has the best of the
best, this best doctor all of a sudden make an oopsie and then kill him?
Because he didn't have the best doctor, he had a guy that was just going to give him
as many pills as he wanted.
Fair.
But adrenochrome is ties into Epstein Island with the kids.
It's similar to Epstein did not kill himself.
Exactly.
Similar to how you were talking about stem cells.
There's some sort of way that these people are doing horrible things to these kids to
get them in adrenaline raising situations.
They take their blood stem cells, whatever from them when they're in these stages and
then use that adrenochrome stuff that they make from these children's.
Is that the stuff that Alex Jones thinks they're harvesting on Mars from children?
I don't know.
Adrenaline?
Yeah, basically, it's like all these things that they're harvesting from children and
they use to elongate their lives, whatever.
It's crazy because three minutes ago you said something about sucking out baby spines.
I did.
Yeah.
So that's, you know, adrenochrome.
And that's why celebrities, they see all the things like, have you seen the Cat Williams
interviews lately?
Yeah.
I don't pay a lot of attention to Cat Williams.
Cat Williams went on an interview and just was spewing, basically outing everything, talking
about these people that are getting into these higher power from selling their souls.
He was bringing that up and people, how they're in competition and how things were offered
to him and just talking about all the horrible stuff that goes on in Hollywood.
Did you dime anybody out?
Steve Harvey was one of them.
Really?
Yeah, Steve Harvey used money in selling his soul or whatever, making deals to get into
higher places of power.
But yeah, I've only seen, yeah, he's-
Would you sell your soul to be the host of a game show?
Well, here's the better question.
Look at members of the 27 Club on Wikipedia right now.
Chris Austin, the guitarist and fiddle player for Reba McIntyre.
Would you sell your soul to be the fiddle player for Reba McIntyre back in the 90s?
Reba McIntyre was the person in the 90s.
Yeah, that'd be like Beyonce to me.
I don't know if I would sell my soul to be the fiddle player for her.
Would I?
No.
But would some fucking loser who has nothing going for him?
Probably.
Would you sell your soul to be Beyonce's backup dancer?
I got to say no.
We all have things going for us.
We have wives and families.
But if you went to somebody that has nothing, they're going nowhere and you're like, you
want to be Beyonce's backup dancer?
They said the amount of power that they get is also based on what they offer.
Some people offer their souls and also lives of people important to them, whatever, or
a shortened lifespan.
Some of the, again, the biggest celebrities who died via drug overdose, suicide, whatever,
because they offered up more for their higher fame.
So you're saying instead of going to hell because you sold your soul, you could just
die early and still get into whatever version of heaven you believe.
Oh, so you did sell your soul.
Yeah, regardless, your soul is you're just fucked a lot sooner.
Yes.
Well, that doesn't sound like a good deal at all.
It's not supposed to.
But with more power comes more.
You said you don't have to sell your soul, though.
What do you think I could get for my courage, Tiki?
That's very important to me.
You can be featured on the evening news.
I don't want that.
I've been on the evening news not that long ago.
Because I am not a.
You're up the fucking ante.
Because I'm not a soul buying demon.
I don't have a good wager for what you have to offer, but I'll get back to you.
We're on to you globalists.
We're fucking on to you.
But yes, keep going.
Keep going.
This is good.
The celebrity team.
But yeah, I there's just all kinds of stuff that tied in with Epstein's Island Epstein.
I was thinking of Stephen Hawking and my words got messed up because I was thinking about
his the fucking midget pervert.
That fucking guy.
Oh, great.
I was on the island.
Preach for the chalkboard of all the guys on the island.
He was like he was doing the least bad thing.
I'm just saying.
Yeah, like it didn't specify if they were midget children.
That's true.
Because why else would he be on this?
I mean, they were the people on the island because it's like, hey, no, it's not.
It's not bad.
Bill Clinton comes here.
Bill Cosby.
Who the fuck ever?
Like, it's not that bad.
These are important people.
And Bill Cosby is going to happen if you come here.
Jeff Epstein, he's a great guy.
And then they get you there and it's like, oh, yeah, we actually have a video of you
fucking a 16 year old prince, whatever the fuck your perverted fat ass name is.
Like, oh, I guess you're just going to keep doing this.
We're going to keep holding shit over your head.
We're going to use you to lure other high class people in so that we can just keep our
web of lies.
Stephen Hawking was so smart.
He had to have some like other motive.
He just did weird things to get there.
Stephen Hawking was a fucking nerd.
When's the last time you saw a fucking nerd with social skills?
Never.
Not even fucking once in your life.
Stephen Hawking was so smart that he recognized what Epstein was doing before he ever wielded
his sorry little ass on the island.
Bullshit, dude.
I'm so sorry.
Did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?
Yes.
As I was saying, he was so smart.
He had to have some other motive because he would know that this would get back.
This would get out.
He's the smartest guy, but everybody's going to hate him because he's doing inappropriate
things.
I think he was just there to get information.
Do you think Stephen Hawking was a spy?
No.
But I mean, he had to have a curiosity to see what was going on.
Hector Salamanca.
He's fucking Scooby doing the whole island.
He was just gathering information because he's like, I want to see what's going on
on these islands.
He's not going to report it to anybody, but maybe.
Maybe in 10 years, there's going to be like Stephen's hidden diary that had shit on everybody
ever.
I think Stephen Hawking just didn't have much of a life because he was paralyzed.
He was like, holy shit, this guy's going to let me watch naked midgets.
Fuck yeah, I'm in.
Imagine for a moment that you're a paraplegic genius.
What do you want more than anything to watch the people with the only disability that's
worse than yours do the thing that you're fucking amazing at and do it badly?
Also the smartest people are always fucking weird.
They've always got something going on.
Maybe that's just where he would get his resources easily because I imagine you can't
just be on Craigslist, need midgets, good at math.
There's nothing illegal about watching a midget do math naked.
It's just odd.
Yeah, but it's just how would he find that resource?
Obviously if somebody's like, I was on Craigslist and Stephen Hawking invited me to his house.
If he's smart enough to enter Epstein's Island with the intention of conducting a massive
sting operation against everyone, I think he's smart enough to rangle up a few midgets
on his own.
The point is that he has more security of secrecy at the island.
These midgets are... If he goes, gets them off of Craigslist, Craigslist, these crackhead
midgets doing math, they're going to be like, I did math for Stephen Hawking.
But midgets from the island are going to be like, I did math for Stephen Hawking on a
pedophile rapist island.
I don't think Stephen Hawking really had the credentials to get the midgets on his own.
I think he needed a midget guy.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
I don't think he was out there wheeling up to people in the street being like-
That's exactly what I'm saying.
That's what I just said.
Well, you do naked math for me.
Exactly.
Imagine you-
He needed a midget guy, Jeffrey Epstein was his midget guy.
Imagine you're Jeff Epstein and you're just like, Mr. Epstein, there's someone here for
you.
Let them in.
Yeah, I hear you can.
Get me midgets.
You've come to the right place, Stephen.
That's a good leverage tool for Jeff Epstein because you think about it.
Didn't Stephen Hawking win a Nobel Prize for his work with the black hole theory, strong
theory, something like that?
You see that, oh fucking, that guy went there.
He's a cripple.
He can't be, nothing weird can be going on.
That guy's going there.
I can go there.
Yeah, just extra security.
He just did weird things, but not illegal things.
Stephen Hawking was probably just like, Jeff Epstein's fucking awesome.
He lets me watch the naked midgets.
This is the best.
Do you think he was deferred there?
One day Steve was talking with his boy, Bill Clinton, and he's like, yeah, I just wish
there was a place I could watch naked midgets.
Bill's like, have I got a secret for you?
Let me tell you, Stephen, I got a place just for you.
Has the list already come out?
Part of it has.
Only part of it?
Also, I heard that the list is one person's account of who was there, and it's not an
official log book.
And those are the flight logs with the chicks' story supplementing.
Oh, okay.
I thought you said you didn't care about celebrity.
I care about the Epstein flight list.
I don't care about people selling their celebrity site, and that sounds not real, but the flight
list, that sounds real and funny.
So it was right.
Stephen Hawking was on there watching naked midgets.
It was funny.
Six days ago was the last time a list came out.
I think I've said it on here before, but I would just like to fucking read it.
Tom Hanks is not on this list.
I've been defending that man since the Epstein thing came out five years ago, and everybody's
like, now he's a fucking pervert, dude.
It's going to happen.
They're going to find out.
Tom Hanks isn't a pervert.
He's just a nice guy.
You just know the vibes from somebody.
Some celebrities that you see on the list, you're like, yeah, it makes sense.
Why does everybody think that about Tom Hanks?
They're like, damn, this guy's really good at acting.
He's got a long relationship with his wife.
They seem to be doing really well.
He must be fucking kids on an island.
I got to imagine the conversation a little bit like this.
Hey, you think Tom Hanks is on there?
I don't know.
He collects typewriters, though.
That's a weird hobby to have.
Does Tom Hanks collect typewriters?
Yeah, he's like the typewriter guy.
What are your hobbies, Donnie?
Being tall.
Being a hater.
Yeah, I like to be tall and spray negativity.
Being mean to your wife.
That's actually two of my go-tos.
I think that's a bigger red flag than typewriters.
What?
Being tall?
Being mean?
I don't know.
There's a lot of mean people out there.
Typewriter collectors, they're an odd minority.
Interesting.
You didn't seem to have a problem with the typewriter when we wrote our documents that
couldn't be put on the internet, but that's a story for a different time.
I think that is, as soon as the typewriter was cool.
I've never heard.
We're not going to do it here.
Well, okay.
We'll talk later.
Do you still have the document?
No, I left it in the room.
You should have it.
You just triggered a memory from my young childhood.
My mom had a couple typewriters, probably because she was just tweaking.
Do you have them?
No, they are probably lost in storage and disintegrated from sitting there for 10 years.
They're made of fucking iron.
They don't disintegrate.
They're going to be very rusty and very gross.
They can be revived.
I'll have to search.
Actually, we don't live in the same state anymore.
I can't.
I can send my brother an admission, but she would have typewriters and cameras were like
the things that she collected.
I fucking love cameras too.
Like vintage, like so old.
I took a picture on a camera from the 70s of us today.
She had a massive tote, like two totes of just cameras.
Does she have like roly flexes?
I wish I knew what that meant.
Also watches again, I don't know if she was just a tweaker or touch of tism, but she collected
watches and cameras and had a couple typewriters.
I believe so.
Those are worth like thousands of dollars.
If she has one of those, you should get it.
Well, like even in poor condition, they're crazy expensive.
If it's one of the rare ones, at least like the not so rare ones are still pretty expensive.
Good to know.
So you should track that down and sell it.
If she did have those, I will trudge through our storage unit full of junk or you could
use it because they're sick as fuck.
What is it?
The camera that you use, like you can look down and see what's out and they just they
take really crisp pictures.
They're very sought after.
Like photos back to skin walkers.
Do you have any questions, concerns?
Are you a skin walker?
That information cannot be disclosed at this time.
Please try again later.
Interesting.
Why are why are some people skeptic about skin walkers?
Well, because they're silly.
And yes, for one, for two, in a day and age where everything is videotaped and there's
cameras absolutely everywhere.
It's hard.
Also in the age of AI editing, it's hard to determine if there is video proof or documentation,
if it's real or if it's faked.
So it's as with all cryptids, Sasquatch, Wendigo's skin walkers.
It's hard.
They're similar to skin walkers, but more scary.
They don't have shape shifting.
They're just giant white creatures.
If you eat a person in the woods, you turn into a Wendigo and then you eat people more.
That's weird.
Well, don't be eating strangers in the woods.
You know, that's why that saying exists.
Don't eat strangers in the woods.
Yeah.
I've heard that before.
Yeah, it's a very real saying.
My mom used to tell me that every time I went to school.
I've been thinking about starting a YouTube channel in which I will just do all of the
stupid fad diets for six months at a time and report my findings.
I've been doing the carnivore diet for a month and I feel great.
Like, why not go vegan next and just be miserable for six months and prove that it's wrong?
There's a gentleman on Twitter now called X, but it will always be Twitter, who went
very viral because he posts daily reviews of eating different foods in the shower.
Yeah, I've seen him.
Yeah.
So I feel like food is a big thing.
You're going to turn into ASMR thing.
I think I'm going to have fun with it.
I think if I edit it, it could turn out okay.
Oh yeah.
You just have to document the benefits.
The Super Size Me guy.
Who's that?
You never watched that documentary in school where he ate only McDonald's for a year and
got morbidly obese?
Yeah.
I don't want to do anything like that.
I want to try all the ones that people claim are healthy.
You know what I think would be really interesting?
If I did the Dougie?
Well yes.
But what's up?
Finish your thought.
Is if you put your dogs on those same diets, because I see a lot of people telling me that
cats are vegan.
And I-
Who the fuck tells you that cats are vegan?
I have a sinking suspicion that they are not.
Cats are not vegan.
If I died right now, Toast would have me devoured in like a day and a half.
Have you seen his fucking gut?
You might have better luck starting on TikTok or something and then going over to YouTube
because nowadays YouTube videos are not the primary source that people are watching.
YouTube's actually going down.
Agree to disagree.
I'm on the tube every day, baby.
Yeah.
Like last night-
Are you watching people with diets?
No, I'm watching people shoot guns.
That are not allowed on TikTok.
YouTube example, last night I'm sitting there scrolling through on duty, eating my food.
Gunny walks in.
He's like, hey Stalky, get off your phone.
You're on duty.
I'm like, okay.
Gunnery sergeant.
You expect me to sit here and eat my dinner and not watch alt-right YouTube shorts.
Are you fucking kidding me?
Emotionally, emotional support YouTube.
Yeah.
My emotional support Jordan Peterson.
People talk, people are like, oh, people are always on their phones, but like six years
ago people would be doing everything with a newspaper in front of their face.
Did you say six?
60.
Oh.
Not six.
You definitely said six.
I definitely said 60.
Yeah, back in fucking 2007, 2018.
Back before the cell phone revolution.
Back in my day.
People just always had newspapers in front of their face.
The big massive stuff on trains, reading their breakfast.
My dad still does that.
I got a pee real bad.
Do you guys want to pause or keep, you guys want to talk while I'm gone?
Just pause it.
Oh, I'm gone for real, for real.
What were we talking about other than spewing new age slang?
For real.
Newspapers and how they, back in 2018 they were just the tits.
That's true.
A lot of people did use them back then.
Do you want to go to the comedy club Thursday?
Do you want to fucking bite the bullet and just do it?
We're not very funny.
We don't know that.
I think we are probably pretty on par if not better than Wilmington's finest.
That is true.
I've only been to Wilmington once, but it did not.
It's not a funny place.
It is not a town that radiated humor.
Fucking had all those people dressed up coming out of Shrek the musical.
I feel like you just need to know your audience.
If you're going to have younger people, you need to have jokes that are going to hit with
them, but the older generation, you just need jokes about hating your wife.
You want to go there and get kicked off the stage?
Just see how far out we can go.
We only have three minutes.
I can say some wild shit in three minutes.
I'd like to go and try it because I'm going to regret it if I don't for one.
Two, I know that I'm either going to really enjoy it or I'm going to fucking hate it and
never want to do it again.
Either it's going to become a weekly thing or I'm going to be like, wow, I'm glad I didn't
want to do that.
I'm glad I'm not 40 thinking I bet I could do that.
I tried it and it sucked.
I could bullshit for three minutes.
Let's do it.
I really doubt if you got up there and you talked for 20 seconds and then froze up and
like, oh, I'm done.
I don't think they're going to be like, no, motherfucker.
No, you're not.
Get back up there in three minutes, bitch.
What was the name on the back?
It was like peepee town or something like that.
Something fucking weird.
Yeah.
The bouncer in his cargo shorts is going to walk up and be like, you get back up there.
You finish your shit.
The guy that had the barista fucking- He had an apron and cargo shorts on.
The bottom apron, yeah.
Yeah.
Excuse me.
You need to settle down, sir.
You're being too rowdy.
We did not allow heckling in this joint.
To be fair, that heckler was something else.
I fucking sucked.
I wanted to punch him.
I've seen a lot of discourse about that, that nowadays-
About that guy?
About the hecklers and all him particularly.
He's banned forever.
But no, that hecklers have just become more prevalent and more bold since the COVID era
because people just lost all social skills.
I think it's that and YouTube or TikTok comedians are getting very popular and they see all
the stuff they push out because they don't want to push their actual routine because
they want a Netflix special to show that.
They just push out their crowd work.
It's all just hecklers and people are like, oh, that's what you do at a comedy club.
You go and you heckle.
Some people, some comedians also, their whole spiel is just crowd work, their whole thing.
Yeah, some people just get up there and do crowd work.
The guy that we saw?
No, the guy, Shultz, you know who I'm talking about?
He does the-
Oh, Andrew Shultz?
Yeah, he does the seals and blackface thing.
The guy that we saw before, Rachel Feinstein, he only did crowd work because of the heckler.
He definitely had a set he was going to do and just didn't get to do it.
It's too bad the heckler wasn't funny.
Yeah.
They rarely are.
It's not that-
He didn't even get the guy.
It's just funny though.
He's sitting there like, ah, wires, San Francisco.
It's not that he-
I got sucked.
It's not just that he wasn't funny.
Russia.
He just was getting to the point where it was cringy.
It was like, okay, you keep doing this and it's not for the guy.
It was cringy from the beginning though.
He didn't start out strong and get worse.
It was just like, this guy has obviously had too much to drink.
Also the girl he's with is uncomfortable and it's just not a fun time for anybody.
I'm glad they shut him the fuck up before she went on because that would have sucked.
I feel like she would have just obliterated him though.
That would have been kind of great to see.
Yeah, that's true.
She didn't do any crowd work.
That kind of sucked.
They do have a policy of no heckling.
That might be why.
Well, she did say she was working on her Netflix specials, so she was probably trying to stick
to-
Yeah, she was like three days out from it.
Yeah, she kept looking at her script, so she's probably focusing on practicing.
That's true.
I wonder if it's out yet.
I don't know.
Her Netflix special.
I don't know.
Because she recorded it in New York that weekend.
Yeah.
Did she?
Good for her.
Or the next weekend I think.
The one time I went to a Steve-O show, he did not have one heckler because the stuff that
he would show was just so vile.
He showed-
He was just pulling his balls out a bunch.
That seems like something Steve-O would do.
He showed his vasectomy and then him riding a horse after vasectomy.
Immediately after.
And three men passed out.
Why would you do that?
Because it's fucking Steve-O.
Three.
That wasn't even the most-
Was it even a comedy or was it just him watching videos of himself while people were there?
It was his exclusive bucket list tour, so it was him doing extreme things that only
Steve-O's bucket list could include.
And then he would do his special in between the clips of the videos where he would talk
and do his jokes.
And then he would tell the story.
And then he would show the video.
So you're telling me Steve-O went and did extreme things all over the country for an
exclusive tour?
That doesn't sound like him at all.
He doesn't strike me as the kind of guy that would do extreme things for books.
He did such obscene things that it wouldn't be able to be included in a movie or like-
Really?
No film.
Yes.
Jackass?
They wouldn't put it in Jackass?
It was bad.
I'm not going to spoil it because I don't want to get in trouble because it said it's
supposed to be super copyrighted.
You can't talk about what it was.
But that was the big-
Yeah, Steve-O was a big supporter of us, so that's a good call.
Imagine going the legal battle against Steve-O.
I don't think you'd even need to settle it in court.
Steve-O would just meet you outside your house in underwear to fight for it.
Like fucking piss on you or something?
Nobody could heckle because they were far too shocked by the things they were seeing.
One of that being showing in depth his vasectomy and then horse riding immediately after.
You get a knock on the door, you walk outside, it's Steve-O on a bull.
Let's go motherfucker.
Somebody pokes around the door, spray paints you red.
Oh no!
Just human feces flying at your eyes.
After Steve-O's raspy, destroyable cords, like, I heard you were talking shit.
That midget's there somewhere.
You can hear Stephen Hawking from the neighbor's house.
Yes, we're on.
Sling, the poop.
That's a solid point.
I wonder if Stephen Hawking was an avid Jackass fan because of the midgets.
Well, there's only one midget, right?
Yeah.
What's his name?
There's been clips.
Wee Man.
There was clips in Japan where they had the man chased by a crowd of midgets.
I wonder if he just, good old Stephen just had that on for loop.
Oh yes.
Look at their little legs.
I wish I could touch myself.
Oh my God.
I don't like for this to go on.
Just called him some poor physics intern like, yes, Dr. Hawking, what can I do for you?
Jack me off.
Get to my house now.
I'm sure if he-
I will raise your grade.
I'm sure if he could speak by eye direction, by looking at a screen, he had other mechanisms
to relieve himself via just his eyeballs.
I think a good idea for an SNL skit would be somebody playing Stephen Hawking, but having
Snoop Dogg's voice as the computer voice.
Like Snoop Dogg when he would narrate the planet earth or the animal documentaries.
I feel like listening to Snoop Dogg saying-
Oh, Stephen Hawking's, his computer's malfunctioning and it's Snoop Dogg now.
Or just something ridiculous.
Good one.
That seemed-
If you, I assume Stephen Hawking was a wealthy man.
If you had that, wouldn't you just, wouldn't you hire Morgan Freeman or somebody like that
to become your new voice?
Seems like he was okay with his voice.
He stuck with it for forever.
He was worth about $20 million.
So yeah, he definitely could have afforded a new voice chip.
If I was Stephen Hawking, I would want a hundred percent have the voice of Mr. T be my thing.
I pulled into the lecture and instead of like some weird, I was expecting my little robot
voice and I just get him to like, what a fool.
Listen up motherfuckers.
That'd be fun.
I wonder if swears were in his arsenal.
Like is there video anywhere of Stephen Hawking swearing with his robot voice?
I don't know.
I think, I believe there is.
Was it something that he just didn't dapple in?
Fucking draws the line at fuck.
And he can midget, so that's his shit.
No bad words.
Stephen Hawking's son put swear words in dad's speech machine.
Wait, Stephen Hawking had a son?
He was a normal guy for a while.
I think he had kids after he became paralyzed.
He was, he was just a really smart guy until he was in like his mid twenties.
Oh, I didn't know when his condition happened.
When it took its toll.
I'll give you, there's a movie about him.
I can't remember what it's called.
It was just a normal dude.
You want to know something wild that I recently learned?
Stephen Hawking, while he was like paraplegic, cheated on his wife.
Like, classic.
With a midget?
I don't know.
Well, I imagine just, I don't, I don't, I don't know how that even occurs.
How do you?
Probably a student.
Oh my God, his mind.
It's so out of this world.
And he's just laying there like drooling down his face, moving his eyes really fast to try
and flirt.
Like I got to get that paraply dick.
Okay.
Well, that's the thing you said.
Yeah.
I actually hate that so much.
You got anything else about a skin walkers or doji cat killing Matthew Perry or anything?
Don't tell Lisa though, cause she'd be real upset.
Those cats.
Doji cat was, you know, rumored for all the extremists because she had like her, one of
her videos out that was super demon based and everything.
And she got off the rocker and people said that she's going through a Britney Spears
thing.
That level of control.
And there's that guy who's the guy that used to be a normal looking guy, but now he's like
fat and worship Satan Sam Smith, maybe one of the white guys.
Yes.
Sam Smith, the gay singer.
I don't, I know nothing of his sexual orientation.
I just know that he used to be a normal looking guy and now he's fat and wears like devil
horns.
Yes.
It was, he was wearing slim BDSM gear at his last concert with devil things.
Yes.
None for me.
As he's not a slim man, it was certainly a sight, but he's a great voice.
I like his songs.
You wish into devil worship music.
That's what you're saying.
That is actually exactly what I'm saying.
They must've had a good soul because they made some good music.
They pay a good price.
It'd be a shame.
You know what's crazy is the Norwegian black metal artists, man, they're out here writing
devil songs for free.
They're not getting an insane amount of money.
In fact, they're making very little money.
They're probably wicked famous for Norwegians though.
Like maybe that's like, damn, you were born in the wrong place.
You're not going to make a lot of money.
A couple of people are going to know about you.
If this long guy, he's going to be a fan.
That's fair.
Shies my man, Nergal.
Nergal?
Yeah.
Is that his name?
Nergal, lead singer of behemoth.
I hate that.
Come on, dude, get with the program.
Also why doesn't Sam Smith have to have a silly little demon name?
Why would he?
I don't think Nergal is a demon name.
I think it's just a dorky Norwegian name.
Oh no, his real name is Adam.
Oh, what the fuck?
Why does he go by Nergal?
That's his black metal demon name.
It's a black name.
Hello, I'm Nergal.
It's nice to meet you.
I'm just saying Nergal Orion.
What's his name?
You're anonymous.
They all had to have spooky little names.
His name is you're anonymous?
You're anonymous.
Yeah, he was murdered by...
Was he murdered by Mergal?
No, he was murdered by...
Damn it.
Killed?
He was murdered by Varg Vakerns when he was going by the name of...
Varg Vakerns.
Varg Vagnes?
I think he's Varg Vagnes.
Bekhan is going by the name...
Classic Varg Vagnes.
Counting Disculia or something like that.
I remember the Counting Disculia days vividly.
They're all out there putting in the actual satanic work and then Doja Cat just to show
up and say she's a cow and get all the fame.
Just like...
Moo.
How about you don't worship Satan in my household?
Okay.
I'll go stand outside.
It seems like the work to reward ratio is a little off is all that I'm saying.
It's actually in your lease that you cannot make moo noises on the property.
Probably.
They have everything else listed on the lease.
You can't work on your cars.
What?
You can't change your oil on the property.
You can't work on your car?
This is true.
You can't work on your car.
You can't pet sit.
You can't have any pets.
Did you guys fucking rent a house from Hitler?
Apparently.
What is that?
But then our other neighbor has...
No Jews in the attic.
Now shows up with that one.
What the hell?
Our other neighbor has six...
What about the sewers?
I don't know about the sewers.
What if you built a Jew tunnel?
Do they put anything in there about that?
I don't know about the Jew tunnels.
That's the hot bucket item these days I hear.
I think there's something in there that you can't dig.
So, darn.
Is that only for Semites or is that for anybody?
You know, I'd have to look at the signs for it.
Specifically stated in the lease, digging by the non-goy on is acceptable.
If you have an abnormally old looking beard, you may not dig on this property.
Beard digging or hole digging is only acceptable when you have curly sideburns.
Hazel can dig.
None of us can.
Interesting.
That's the worst.
Well, yeah.
Just break your lease.
Buy that house down the road.
From you?
What?
The house down the road from me.
I suppose we can do that.
I think it was pending last time I saw it actually.
I don't know.
I didn't realize that actually.
I think if we broke our lease, we'd have to pay a hefty fine or get a lawyer.
They legally can't make you your military.
They definitely know.
They live in Jacksonville, North Carolina.
If you have orders, they're not going to be real.
Also though, moving is kind of the worst.
Yeah.
Well I mean, it wouldn't be nearly as bad if we're driving 20 minutes down the road.
Yeah.
Just make the kid do it.
We have a lot of shit.
You did zero unpacking.
I did all the unpacking.
That's fair.
So it was the worst.
I kind of hated it.
We still haven't gotten our reimbursement from the military more. Yeah, have you gone yet? I couldn't find it
I drove around to like six different DMOs on do I need to take you I do you have a pin?
I can go find it. I just don't know where I'm going
There you find open
Yeah, cuz like I drove down to the place and it was a shipping lot and they're like no, this isn't the place
I'm like, okay
So I went to the next location Google Maps and I drove to the headquarters for SOI and I walked around it's a Geiger
I that's where Google Maps took me so I walked in and I'm like, hey, I'm looking for DMO and they're like, oh
Well, why the fuck are you here?
I'm just a lost little guy and told me get a haircut
The second one that pulls up I fucking went there they told me it was wrong place they lied to you
Did you go to the front desk or did you like go upstairs?
You walk in and there's stairs. There's bathrooms to the right around and through to a desk
It's gonna have some angry civilian. Maybe I walked into the wrong warehouse things. I talked to a confused Lance Corporal
Yeah, there's like did you go around to the side to the warehouse?
I pulled up in front of a warehouse and I walked into the open door
Yeah, that is wrong. Okay gone. Okay. Well to where the pin is where it says DMO
And then they're ours. I see
Well, we live we learn you stinker
Absolute heathen and she was my fucking best man
I
Wanted to talk about I forgot was that the thing that you wanted to bring my attention to discuss
You said you wanted to discuss something with me. Was it the toilet seat? Yeah, I
Saw be respectful. I still have no apologies
I will come to your house and remove your toilet seat. Okay, I'll hover
It does make sense though that women should put the seat up it doesn't
It does no it does
You put go to the toilet and you put seat up right
That is one. I don't put the seat. No, no, no, like you finish at the toilet. You put the seat back up
That is one a toilet that's one exchange per person
What if I have to pee I pee significantly more than you do I had a child I have a mother's bladder
I pee at least once every hour on the hour
Stop
He's like three times an hour most times, okay actually yeah
I probably so more but he you were based on the fact that we will alternate our bathroom visits
I will probably visit more frequent than you for one
two
What it doesn't it wouldn't affect you too
You wouldn't have to put the seat up if you would either clean up your mess or just have better aim
What if we just like to started scheduling?
Like like sit up see downtimes okay?
How about we make a deal once you are the one to clean the toilet you can decide the rest
I'm just saying like say 415 but he pays for the toilet
415 to 430
You know seat is up 430 to 445 seat is down
445 450 seat is up
Are you gonna go in and flip it every 30 minutes?
You're going in dangerously to like you're only allowed to pee for these certain windows territory
And I'm sure you're not allowed to pee outside of your house
You're only other options to sink
You have no idea okay
The putting the seat up or down does not affect you but if you like if one's forgotten either way it's going to affect me
If you forget to put it up there's pee on the seat
I have to clean up if you leave it up, and I go and wander to go piddle in the dark
I'm falling in the toilet either way. I am the victim here. Maybe you were supposed to fall in the toilet little fish
Our fish is supposed to be in the toilet. It's supposed to be water. I don't think the toilet though
That's where you put them to rest. That's water
Have you not seen finding Nemo they can obviously live?
I should have thought about that. I should better educated myself
Do they go in a toilet finding Nemo? Yes. Yeah, they play dead so they can get back to the ocean
I see have you seen finding Nemo not in several years
Hazel's watched it like three times
today
Yesterday she watched it three times
Oh, she's watching it three times. Holy shit. She likes it's her new stuff. She every time like he looks sad. She goes. Oh, no Nemo
Cute yeah, so Nemo sad she gets very empathetic with her shows that she watches
If I have kids they're going to be watching the raunchiest tv shows as soon as they're born you see
I thought the same thing and then after watching some raunchy shows
She was copying the raunchiness. So we were like, probably not anymore. She like murdering people, uh boobies
She points at boobies. Yeah every time that's fucking hilarious
also, because you know, she has a breastfed history, but she
Also has started saying fuck. Yeah, that's on me. She drops something. She goes. Oh fuck
There's a guy that I work with that at least once a week talks about how he wants to drink breast milk
Because it's good for gains. I don't think it is they did a netflix thing on this
That's not the first time i've heard it
it's because the amount of like nutrition and protein and everything because if you think about it breast smokes to make babies just
Fucking bulk, but it doesn't actually work like that because babies are so small the nutrient true
Density is just insane for them. That is there's a netflix thing about a guy that does it for years buys it from people
And he like has just normal gym gains at best if not like worse
And somebody who's supplementing properly and he's like, yeah, i'm just really into fitness like you're a normal guy
That just drinks tit milk. You're just a pervert
But you know it is the
Antibiotic properties of breast milk is kind of insane like it's absolutely nuts people still study it like normal milk
Breast milk doesn't behave like normal food like you can leave breast milk
You don't say
And if you leave breast milk and like
This milk is different than my steak
Listen
What's up with that?
What the hell?
If you let me finish I would explain more if you put like cow's milk even unpasteurized whatever if you put raw cow's milk
and breast milk next to each other
Bacteria will swiftly and
Pretty efficiently grow in the cow's milk, but breast milk or breast milk will not become
That is not true with raw cow's milk. I have seen the same study be done with pasteurized and unpasteurized
Well breast milk can last hours upon hours upon hours at room temperature without growing any bacteria
Nothing better than a milk from a human
Nice and warm from being left out
It's a good thing it's not for either of you to drink it's for babies. Well, actually the nutrient density is so insane that
I was not defending the bodybuilders. I was just saying they have their mind in the right place
It's disgusting and wrong and perverted but i'm gonna revert back to Stephen Hawking here and say again, is it weird?
Yeah, is it wrong?
No, like if he wants to drink breast milk power to him clearly a little bit insecure that he's doing under the guise of being a
Mediocre bodybuilder, but nonetheless if somebody tells you it's not wrong somebody tells me they're drinking breast milk
I'm gonna be so fucking mean to them whenever I see them
Every time I see them you're gonna be mean to children. Oh, that's different. They're supposed to drink it when I see a kid
30 year old men or not
What I see a kid getting breastfed. I just slap him in the face
I'm just fucking nerd
Loser, how about you bill your digestive system up already fucking bitch
Well, i'm like serious like when babies are breastfed
They will not have a bowel movement for a week or so because their body just absorbs every single part of breast milk
Because it's so there's nothing that can be wasted from it
Yeah, I poop like once a week because all the things I eat I absorb because you eat only meat
You probably have like three feet of shit in your bowels right now. I do not
How do you know if you checked?
I can feel it. You cannot can you not feel when you have to poop?
It just kind of catches. Hey, do we have anything else we want to cover or you got a problem with poop?
I'd rather not talk about it. Actually pervert you talk about i'm the weird one
You fully confidently talked about stephen hawking and his midget obsession, but poop is weird and jacking off with his
Student and or mechanical devices, but a natural body function is where you're like
there's one time I tried to segment or segue into the uh,
the cult that the guy that played the joker grew up in and he got all offended by it and like
The cult the guy who played the joker grew up. Yeah, wakian phoenix you go up in a cult
Yeah, we started to talk about it. You're like anyways, we're talking about bears again. Oh my bad. Yeah
I don't have anything. I just I just don't want to fucking talk about poop. I'm not sure why it's controversial. I didn't think it would be
Boring yeah, that's my bad. Yeah, just trying to make you want to listen to the podcast
I'm the bad guy here
Um
Come on again, I feel like this went fairly well, I would say so sure
I'll present topics get more information about something else since you
Do not have a job and can read more than us. Yes. Well
It depends on the day. I I gotta disagree. I I think I have significantly more reading time than homie here
Like it is I guess you have less to do at work than I do
You do the research then cool. What do I do?
First off poop pause
No, I did not say that I was incapable of researching you just kind of she doesn't have time. I'll do it
I can make time. I have you know after the little ghost of ed naps
My free time to do things and I will extensively obsess over topics
So I will find topics that I think you guys might find interesting
Sure, but some days I can do the research too. Just not consistently
Some days I have like 10 hours of work to do in seven hours. Some days I have nothing so big at retaining information on conspiracy theories and
Do it. That's the fun shit
Cool noted got it. Okay
I guess
See ya
Yep
So
You