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Hello and welcome back to The Party's Over.

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I'm your host Kyle Donaghy, back with my co-host as always, Jonathan.

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Couldn't think of a nickname in time.

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Stolke, how are you, John?

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That fucking sucked, dude.

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I know, I'm sorry.

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My nickname game is on lock and we've been away for a while.

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No, John had COVID.

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So we were just kind of out of the flow.

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And then in that time, the time that I usually spend thinking of silly little nicknames to

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open up with, I stopped doing that.

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So now I just I'm nicknames.

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Why did you stop doing that?

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Well, because we didn't record for like two weeks.

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So I just sat there with a bunch of silly little nicknames in my head and thought this

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is enough names for now.

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Why don't you write them down?

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Why would I do that?

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So you can remember them.

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Yeah.

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You silly goose.

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Don't be absurd.

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Okay.

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That's probably the worst idea I've ever heard, actually.

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You know what the worst idea ever is actually?

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What's that?

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Is a fucking monocle.

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No, monocles are-

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Monocles are stupid.

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Monocles are cool and stylish and practical if you have one bad eye.

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How are they stylish?

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Well, you have a-

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You stylish.

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You stylishly looking like a fucking idiot.

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You have a circle and it goes in your eye.

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I think that's pretty cool.

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That's silly.

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We'll just agree to disagree.

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If you wear a monocle, I can only assume that like monocle activities come with wearing

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the monocle, right?

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Like no one is a monocle person before they buy the monocle.

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It's like kind of like that, no one cared who I was until I put on the mask.

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It's like-

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What do monocle people do?

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They name a monocle person.

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They draw maps.

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They buy up-

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You want to be a cartographer?

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Damn right I do.

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They buy property and then rent it back to you with houses and hotels on it.

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I think that's just what middle-aged white guys do.

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Nope.

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I assume that they ride horses.

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I ride horses.

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I'm not a monocle guy.

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Go get yourself a monocle halfway there.

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I don't want that.

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They wear tweed coats.

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I can agree with that one.

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What else?

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What is tweed?

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It's like a fuzzy cotton I guess.

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That sounds horribly itchy.

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It's like cotton but it's itchy.

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If you took cotton and someone took it and they're like, let's make this not fun to touch.

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That's what tweed is.

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That's the worst.

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Yeah it is.

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That's why-

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You feel like a tweed guy.

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I feel like a tweed guy?

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Yeah.

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In what capacity do I seem like a tweed guy?

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Well you just said that tweed and monocles go together so now you're arguing that you're

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not a tweed guy so therefore you're not a monocle guy.

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Dad, you caught me.

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Stinker.

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Yeah.

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I feel like monocles need to make a resurgence.

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I don't think they do.

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It's not practical.

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And someone needs to start that resurgence.

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Just wear glasses.

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Let me ask you this.

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Who do we know who has the cultural sway to bring back monocles?

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Me.

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Nobody.

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Literally just me.

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Not even pre-Nazi Kanye could have brought back the monocle.

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That guy can wear rubber boots from SpongeBob and make them a thing.

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I don't even think he could have done the monocle.

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Imagine Kanye West makes monocles cool and now all of a sudden the thugs are walking

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around rocking monocles.

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You remember the poosh icy mask when that came out and it was just the ski mask you

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know what I'm talking about?

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Nope.

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Okay.

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Well-

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Ski masks are like the goggles.

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No, it's just the ski mask.

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How it's become a thing.

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Just a normal black ski mask?

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Yep.

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Like what people that rob convenience stores wear?

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Yep.

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That's a thing though?

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Yeah, it's like a fashion thing thanks to this dude named Poosh Icy who's not a very

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good musician but no story, no time.

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Imagine if the scary dudes in town started rocking monocles.

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How cool would that be, man?

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Usually a monocle you know you're in a bad neighborhood.

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That's what I'm talking about.

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That'd be really weird.

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It's like a dystopian, like a stupid fan fiction.

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I assume that they would all begin talking like pops from the regular show.

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You know what I'm talking about?

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Yep.

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He has a monocle doesn't he?

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Runnathon Pockets.

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I assume that's how it would go.

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And yes, I believe pops does have a monocle.

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Why would they talk like that?

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If you have a monocle, I assume talking like that comes with the territory.

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I don't wear a monocle.

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I would assume they just talk like regular Brits, bruv.

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They'd say bruv a lot and some other things that sound mildly sexual but aren't bruv.

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Do they become British with a monocle?

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Does a monocle make you British?

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When's the last time you saw an American wearing a monocle?

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You got me there.

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I haven't been to Britain in a while so I don't remember if they wore them there but

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I'm going to assume they did when I was like 12.

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Wow.

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I've never been to Britain.

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It's a good time.

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I'd like to go back.

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I did briefly meet a Scottish woman one time when I was in high school and she was quite

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portly so.

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There you have it.

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Yep.

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I think they really eat a lot of bread over there so I guess that makes sense.

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They're not carnivores.

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At least our schools don't look like shit.

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They don't want to be healthy and awesome.

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Yeah, they do always be talking about the school shootings.

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Yeah.

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Like, all right, go to a dentist.

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Do you remember when the British internet meme pages and the American internet meme

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pages had a beef?

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No.

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This was back, it was probably early COVID and we were all just sitting inside bored

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and they basically put out an announcement like all the big internet meme pages linked

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up and they were like, hey, we're going to go to war with the Brits again just for fun.

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For memes?

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Yep.

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We're going to mock them over memes and the British meme pages, I guess they have their

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own, they were like, we're going to go back to war against the Americans.

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Is that why trash cam Paul occasionally posts anti-British memes?

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Yeah, exactly.

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And then the British meme pages, they came out and they came out swinging.

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They brought up really valid points about the American socioeconomic system and then

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we were like, oh, they got bad teeth.

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They eat beans, idiots.

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Got them.

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Beans and white bread.

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The British meme pages were just swept away by hateful, hateful comments and just the

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American meme pages were pumping it out because they had like two things and they're out here

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like, oh, your economy isn't doing that great, bro, and we're like, ah, bad teeth, go to

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the dentist, losers.

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The American meme pages are very tropey and repetitive, but they're fucking hilarious.

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Oh yeah, dude.

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They'll pump out like nine different memes with the same template in like an hour.

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They're all great.

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They're fucking hilarious.

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I love it, man.

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It's awesome.

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Internet memes are fantastic.

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Yeah.

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I don't do you think they, I guess like political cartoons, that was the memes of old, huh?

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I suppose.

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Every once in a while, like once a month, honestly, I'll delete Facebook from my phone.

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Like I'm done with it.

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I hate it.

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The memes bring me back.

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It's not to keep in touch with my family.

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It's not to know about the news.

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It's the memes.

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I need the memes.

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I need relevant ones.

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I can't go to iFunny because iFunny, half of it's outdated.

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I need the new shit.

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And like I do the same thing where I'm like, I'm done with social media.

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Like it's just, it's taken up too much of my time.

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I know it's bad for me.

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I know I spend too much time on it.

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And then someone's like, have you seen the new meme about like the goreflops?

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I'm like, no, what is it?

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I'm back.

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Yeah.

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It's my people.

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They need me.

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Yeah.

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I love memes.

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They need me like in these posts.

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If I didn't do it, who would?

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Millions of people actually turned out.

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Hundreds of millions, yeah.

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So so many.

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Isn't there like two billion people or like two billion Facebook accounts and like half

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of them are dead?

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Probably.

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I don't know.

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Find out.

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Who do you, who keeps track of that stuff?

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I would guess Facebook.

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Oh, probably.

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Have you heard that like theory?

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Not like so much.

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It's not like a conspiracy theory.

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It's just like an idea that like a third of the social media accounts are bots.

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Like some dude posted a thing and they forgot to include the attachment.

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They just had like, see the link below.

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There was no link below and they got like 20,000 likes in five minutes.

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Like how much of the internet do you think is bots?

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A lot.

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Didn't the Twitter files reveal that like 20% of Twitter was bots?

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I don't know.

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I didn't read the Twitter files because I had things to do with my spare time.

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Like memes?

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Like look at memes.

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And think about stupid ass monocles.

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Think about monocles.

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Yep.

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That's where my passion for map drawing began actually when I was not looking at Twitter

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files.

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I was like, I could look at this or I could draw a accurate topographical map of Italy

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from memory.

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And guess what I did.

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Bots account for around 30% of US content on Twitter.

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So a lot of bots.

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A lot of bots.

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And it's estimated that there are tens of millions of dead Facebook accounts.

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I mean, yeah.

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Everyone that I know has at least four.

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No, no.

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People that had Facebook and then died.

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Yeah.

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Oh, oh.

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I thought it meant like accounts that they had to stop using.

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Oh, well.

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Why do people have four Facebook accounts?

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Because they get locked out and they get a new phone.

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Don't forget your password.

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Oh, fuck you talking about, dude.

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Just make a password.

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Get your head out of your ass.

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Remember.

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No.

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Stupid.

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Fucking silly.

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That's probably the worst I've ever heard actually.

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I'm going to circle back to where you said monocles were dumb.

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You're dumb.

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Not as dumb as monocles.

265
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:43,400
Idiot.

266
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:44,400
You didn't think of that, did you?

267
00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:45,400
No, no I didn't.

268
00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:48,880
I think monocles are pretty pimping though.

269
00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:49,880
Like a...

270
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,640
If I see somebody with a monocle, I'm swinging on them.

271
00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:52,640
I don't care.

272
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:54,920
I've got money and it's going to be mine.

273
00:09:54,920 --> 00:09:57,560
You know who I feel like could bring back monocles, dude?

274
00:09:57,560 --> 00:09:58,700
Prime Snoop Dogg.

275
00:09:58,700 --> 00:10:02,840
If Prime Snoop Dogg pulled up in a monocle, it would have been cool.

276
00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:04,720
I feel like now Snoop Dogg could bring it back, honestly.

277
00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:05,720
I didn't think of him.

278
00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:06,720
Yeah.

279
00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:09,200
If there was one guy who could, I think it would be Snoop Dogg.

280
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:11,920
Snoop is like, nobody dislikes Snoop Dogg.

281
00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:15,200
If he brought it back, it's not like you'd make fun of him and be like, okay.

282
00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:16,200
He's got that.

283
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:17,200
Why not?

284
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:21,200
If anyone could rock a monocle, quite frankly, I feel like it would be Snoop.

285
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:22,200
Yeah.

286
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:23,200
I don't agree with that.

287
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:24,200
Just because I like Snoop.

288
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:25,200
Yeah.

289
00:10:25,200 --> 00:10:26,200
Everyone likes Snoop.

290
00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,520
If Snoop pulled up in a monocle, you'd be like, that's a good looking monocle.

291
00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:29,520
Don't see why not.

292
00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:32,840
Show me a single Snoop Dogg hater.

293
00:10:32,840 --> 00:10:37,320
I don't think they exist.

294
00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:39,720
Who was it that guy who dissed him in the 90s?

295
00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:41,840
Was it corrupt?

296
00:10:41,840 --> 00:10:44,480
I don't know what that means.

297
00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:45,480
Okay.

298
00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:46,480
Never mind.

299
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:49,240
You know who didn't dislike Snoop Dogg?

300
00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:50,240
Who's that?

301
00:10:50,240 --> 00:10:51,240
The queen.

302
00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:52,240
Queen of England?

303
00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:53,240
Yeah.

304
00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:54,240
The dead one?

305
00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:55,240
Yeah.

306
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:56,240
Oh, she a big Snoop fan?

307
00:10:56,240 --> 00:11:01,680
It was like the early 2000s or late 90s and the prime minister of England and Great Britain

308
00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:06,280
or whatever it's actually called, blocked Snoop Dogg from coming there to tour and the

309
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:08,760
queen was like, no, he can come.

310
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:09,760
He can tour.

311
00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:10,760
Hell yeah.

312
00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:11,760
Yeah.

313
00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:13,960
What do you think?

314
00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:17,840
Do British people, do they say the same words when they sing along with Snoop Dogg songs?

315
00:11:17,840 --> 00:11:20,400
I assume so.

316
00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:22,000
I think nobody sings in a British accent.

317
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,880
Can you imagine how shitty it would sound if they didn't?

318
00:11:24,880 --> 00:11:25,880
Exactly.

319
00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:26,880
So why don't they just stop talking to it?

320
00:11:26,880 --> 00:11:27,880
That's a good one.

321
00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:31,760
Do you think like when they go home, do they just stop doing the accent?

322
00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:32,760
They have to.

323
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:34,520
There's no way you can keep that up all the time.

324
00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:36,400
All right, lads, see you tomorrow.

325
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:40,880
And they walk in, oh dude, I had a long day today.

326
00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:42,960
Do they talk like this when they play Xbox?

327
00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:46,400
Oh, you're a fucking camper, mate.

328
00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:49,520
Oi, Gov, on your six.

329
00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:50,520
Nobody's doing that.

330
00:11:50,520 --> 00:11:53,520
If you did, you'd be bullied out of the chair.

331
00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:54,520
It's just how it works.

332
00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:57,240
I don't play a lot of online video games, but I've never encountered a British person

333
00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:58,240
on one.

334
00:11:58,240 --> 00:11:59,240
Do they exist?

335
00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:00,240
British people?

336
00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:01,240
Are they a front?

337
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:03,640
When's the last time you met a British person?

338
00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:05,680
I met a Scott.

339
00:12:05,680 --> 00:12:07,320
I said a British person?

340
00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:09,320
Yeah, I've never met a British person.

341
00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:10,320
No.

342
00:12:10,320 --> 00:12:11,320
Wait a minute.

343
00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:12,320
No, no, no.

344
00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:13,320
I did meet a British pilot one time.

345
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:16,640
I've actually met a lot of British people in the military.

346
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:17,960
But they could be fake.

347
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:18,960
They could be pretend.

348
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:19,960
They could be Russian trolls.

349
00:12:19,960 --> 00:12:20,960
It's true.

350
00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:25,640
Wouldn't that just be the most elaborate scam of all time?

351
00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:26,640
Britain is not real.

352
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:33,240
Back in World War II, the Nazis actually conquered Britain, just wiped the entire thing out.

353
00:12:33,240 --> 00:12:38,280
In order to keep morale alive, we convinced the entire American public that Britain was

354
00:12:38,280 --> 00:12:39,280
still there.

355
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:44,720
Isn't it wild that Britain used to own two thirds of the world and now they have land

356
00:12:44,720 --> 00:12:46,660
smaller than Texas?

357
00:12:46,660 --> 00:12:52,240
The realist question is, how did they do it for so long?

358
00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:55,680
Nobody else had the technology or the numbers.

359
00:12:55,680 --> 00:12:57,680
The boat?

360
00:12:57,680 --> 00:12:58,920
Yeah.

361
00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:04,480
I assume if you're the British Navy or whatever, and it's not like they just owned the place

362
00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:07,000
and everybody was like, all right, yeah, I guess we'll follow your rules.

363
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:10,760
It was like they fucking went there and they put their people in charge and they were there

364
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:13,080
and they had armies and navies there.

365
00:13:13,080 --> 00:13:14,080
What happened to the-

366
00:13:14,080 --> 00:13:19,640
If you were building a warship, they'd be like, no, and either take it or burn it.

367
00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:20,640
I suppose.

368
00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:23,640
Have I ever told you my theory on the Cold War?

369
00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:25,360
I'm bringing this back to the Britain doesn't exist.

370
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:26,360
You have not.

371
00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:27,760
Okay, so check it out.

372
00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:31,040
Back in the 19... When did the Cold War start?

373
00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:32,040
50s.

374
00:13:32,040 --> 00:13:33,040
Yeah, so back in the-

375
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:34,040
Right after World War II, I think.

376
00:13:34,040 --> 00:13:35,240
Yeah, back in the 50s, right?

377
00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:38,600
There was, get this, a number between six and seven.

378
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:39,600
You with me so far?

379
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:43,640
It was called Thremble.

380
00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:48,720
It would be like one, two, three, four, five, six, thremble, seven, eight, nine, ten, right?

381
00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:54,120
But what we did just to defeat the Soviets psychologically was we just removed it.

382
00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:59,000
We removed all of our stuff, right?

383
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:07,000
So now the Soviets, they're working on what was essentially an 11-digit system.

384
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,480
Us, we only have 10.

385
00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:11,560
Wouldn't it make more sense if it was 12, if we took two things away?

386
00:14:11,560 --> 00:14:13,120
It's like calendars and-

387
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:14,120
That's too much.

388
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:15,120
They would have caught on.

389
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:16,120
They would have caught on.

390
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:17,120
Okay.

391
00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:24,480
But by removing this one number, right, what we did, our GDP skyrocketed, literally 10%.

392
00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:29,280
So it shot up so fast, inexplicably fast, right?

393
00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:31,880
We're doing things that nobody thought could ever be done.

394
00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:32,880
Why?

395
00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:35,840
Because in their mind, nothing's changed.

396
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:38,040
They don't know that we removed Thremble from the education system.

397
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:39,040
They don't know that we just-

398
00:14:39,040 --> 00:14:41,040
We're doing things that people never thought could be done.

399
00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:43,760
We're flying planes and letting black people vote.

400
00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:44,760
Yeah.

401
00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:47,360
We just removed it.

402
00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:53,840
Where we would see nine things, where they see 10 things, we now see-

403
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:55,280
Where they see 11, we now see 10.

404
00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:56,280
Exactly.

405
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:57,280
There we go.

406
00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:58,280
Perfect.

407
00:14:58,280 --> 00:14:59,280
Thank you for simplifying that analogy in my head.

408
00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:05,640
But they didn't know that, so they're thinking to themselves, ah, yes, they also see 11 things.

409
00:15:05,640 --> 00:15:06,640
No.

410
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:08,640
So it's just-

411
00:15:08,640 --> 00:15:13,200
I don't think I understand what that would do for anybody.

412
00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:16,760
And also, there's 90-year-olds.

413
00:15:16,760 --> 00:15:19,880
They're just in on it.

414
00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:20,880
All right.

415
00:15:20,880 --> 00:15:22,280
Thremble doesn't exist anymore.

416
00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:23,280
It's gone.

417
00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:24,280
Yeah.

418
00:15:24,280 --> 00:15:25,280
That's exactly how it was.

419
00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:27,920
Dude, the Cold War was so crazy, dude.

420
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:30,440
They were just imprisoning people for communism.

421
00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:34,280
And you're going to tell me right now, hey, if you use this number, you're a communist.

422
00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:36,560
We're going to come to your house, kick in your door in the middle of the night and lock

423
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:37,640
you up.

424
00:15:37,640 --> 00:15:38,920
You're going to forget that number.

425
00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:40,920
I think they'd come out with it after, though.

426
00:15:40,920 --> 00:15:41,920
They'd be talking about it now.

427
00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:42,920
Hmm.

428
00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:43,920
Doubt.

429
00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:45,400
Because what are we going to do?

430
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:46,400
I could ask my grandma.

431
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:47,400
She would tell me.

432
00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:48,400
What are we going to do?

433
00:15:48,400 --> 00:15:49,400
Reintroduce it to society?

434
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:50,960
It would at least be acknowledged.

435
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:51,960
Oh, no, no.

436
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:55,080
This is a secret they're taking to the graves.

437
00:15:55,080 --> 00:15:56,680
They're probably still using it.

438
00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:57,680
Think about this.

439
00:15:57,680 --> 00:15:58,680
The Soviets?

440
00:15:58,680 --> 00:16:00,960
No, us.

441
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:03,000
The method of psychological warfare.

442
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,600
Imagine this, right?

443
00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:08,400
You've got, I don't know, 10,000 nuclear weapons.

444
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,640
That's a lot of nuclear weapons.

445
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:12,440
But now remove 10% of those 10,000.

446
00:16:12,440 --> 00:16:13,920
What do you have now?

447
00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:14,920
9,000?

448
00:16:14,920 --> 00:16:15,920
That's way less.

449
00:16:15,920 --> 00:16:16,920
You're not getting rid of them.

450
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:17,920
No, it's not.

451
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:19,320
But you don't know that.

452
00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:20,320
Right?

453
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:21,320
If I'm-

454
00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:22,320
They can count them.

455
00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:26,160
Well, the Soviets aren't walking through like one, two, three.

456
00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:29,880
No, they're just taking our word for it.

457
00:16:29,880 --> 00:16:30,880
You know what I mean?

458
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:33,140
They're getting leaked documents that say we have 10,000 nukes.

459
00:16:33,140 --> 00:16:36,920
We actually only have 9,000, but because we removed Thremble, we have 10,000.

460
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:39,160
Does that make sense?

461
00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:42,960
So now the word that they're getting, it's still accurate on our end, but to them, it's

462
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:43,960
so much higher.

463
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:47,080
At what point did they get rid of this number?

464
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:52,320
I don't have the precise date, but I'm going to say pretty much immediately post-World

465
00:16:52,320 --> 00:16:53,320
War II.

466
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:55,200
That's my working theory.

467
00:16:55,200 --> 00:17:02,760
I don't have all my ducks in a row yet, but I think I'm onto something here.

468
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:07,320
If they didn't do this, then damn it, they should have.

469
00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:09,440
Imagine how much faster we could have sent a man to the moon.

470
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:11,760
I don't think any faster.

471
00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:13,400
10% faster, actually.

472
00:17:13,400 --> 00:17:15,480
Nothing you're saying is making sense.

473
00:17:15,480 --> 00:17:16,480
This is silly.

474
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:19,240
No, this is genius.

475
00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:21,280
I don't understand the reason for it.

476
00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:22,280
Mark my words.

477
00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:26,160
Once this podcast airs, the CIA will be at my doorstep.

478
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:28,080
Shutting me down for spreading the gospel truth.

479
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:30,520
I don't think the CIA listens to our podcast.

480
00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:31,520
I think they do.

481
00:17:31,520 --> 00:17:32,880
I'm almost certain.

482
00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:35,280
I know the 11 people that listen to our podcast.

483
00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:37,900
I think that they do.

484
00:17:37,900 --> 00:17:42,360
If they do not, I will send it to them.

485
00:17:42,360 --> 00:17:44,240
Email it to the director of the CIA.

486
00:17:44,240 --> 00:17:47,320
Please have a listen.

487
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:49,680
You should know we're onto you.

488
00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:53,120
XOXO, Kyler.

489
00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:54,120
Do it, no boss.

490
00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:55,120
You're right.

491
00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:57,520
I like having a job too much.

492
00:17:57,520 --> 00:17:58,520
Boo.

493
00:17:58,520 --> 00:18:00,440
It's not if they even see it.

494
00:18:00,440 --> 00:18:04,840
Also, you probably can't find their email.

495
00:18:04,840 --> 00:18:05,840
He's an elected official.

496
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:06,840
I bet you I can.

497
00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:12,240
Yeah, but you're going to find one that you can send like hate mail or ideas to.

498
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:17,400
But regardless, it'll get observed by somebody and they'll know that I know.

499
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:18,400
William J. Burns.

500
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:19,960
Is that the director of the CIA?

501
00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:20,960
Yep.

502
00:18:20,960 --> 00:18:23,960
Does he look like Mr. Burns from The Simpsons?

503
00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:24,960
Nah.

504
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:28,000
Looks like a 50-year-old white dad.

505
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,640
And looking at this guy makes me want to shave my mustache.

506
00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,640
Tell you that right now.

507
00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:35,840
I support.

508
00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:38,800
Why is it a different color for most of his hair?

509
00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:39,800
It's pretty common.

510
00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:42,080
I mean, your top hair is darker than your mustache hair.

511
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:45,600
He has like a blonde mustache with salt and pepper hair on top.

512
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:50,560
Yeah, facial hair retains its color for much longer usually.

513
00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:52,160
Let's read about this guy.

514
00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:54,440
I'm fascinated now.

515
00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:57,800
What an ugly man.

516
00:18:57,800 --> 00:18:58,800
I don't think he's terribly ugly.

517
00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:01,960
He's a generic looking guy.

518
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:07,520
When 100% this guy has consumed a baby at least once in his life.

519
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:08,520
What's up with that?

520
00:19:08,520 --> 00:19:09,520
What's up with that theory?

521
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:12,360
What does consuming babies get the elites?

522
00:19:12,360 --> 00:19:13,360
I don't know.

523
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:14,360
That is a different person.

524
00:19:14,360 --> 00:19:17,200
No, that's just the same man with more gray hair.

525
00:19:17,200 --> 00:19:18,200
That is a different guy.

526
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:19,200
Nah, same guy.

527
00:19:19,200 --> 00:19:20,200
No fucking way.

528
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:21,200
Older and grayer.

529
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:22,200
You just clicked him again.

530
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:25,960
Well, yes, I had to get to his page.

531
00:19:25,960 --> 00:19:27,560
Where were you before?

532
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,880
You said Director of the CIA?

533
00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:30,880
What does this guy do?

534
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:32,880
He's the Director of the CIA.

535
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:33,880
No shit.

536
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:34,880
He was Foreign Service.

537
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:35,880
That's what I'm intrigued by.

538
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:36,880
What did he do?

539
00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:37,880
Director of the CIA?

540
00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:38,880
He worked in political affairs.

541
00:19:38,880 --> 00:19:39,880
That's super fucking lame.

542
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:40,880
I thought it'd be cool.

543
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:45,680
In my head, I was picturing like Jack Ryan cool guy stuff.

544
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:53,320
He was diving out of helicopters into the ocean and shanking Taliban guys in the dark.

545
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:54,320
Yeah.

546
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:55,320
Wrong.

547
00:19:55,320 --> 00:19:58,000
Do you think cool guys like that exist?

548
00:19:58,000 --> 00:20:02,080
Probably not, honestly.

549
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:04,440
As a child, yeah, absolutely, I thought they existed.

550
00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:07,440
Now that I know adults, no.

551
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,680
I think sometimes you get lucky when you're doing stuff when you're in a cool job.

552
00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:14,080
Yeah, I've heard stories of guys who were in cool jobs and when they get a call, like,

553
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,680
hey, can you do us a favor?

554
00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:17,680
Thanks.

555
00:20:17,680 --> 00:20:18,680
That's the end of it.

556
00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:21,720
There's no professional cool guys that I've ever even heard of.

557
00:20:21,720 --> 00:20:24,440
All that shit is also almost definitely overhyped.

558
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,040
About 100%.

559
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:30,640
It's probably a lot of sleeping in the rain.

560
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:34,120
A lot more sleeping in the rain than they make it look like.

561
00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:35,120
That's actually super loud.

562
00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:36,120
Can you stop that?

563
00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:37,120
No.

564
00:20:37,120 --> 00:20:38,120
Okay.

565
00:20:38,120 --> 00:20:41,000
I don't think I will.

566
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,000
I got to.

567
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:46,200
Even if you're a kid, you look at this job and you're like, oh, that's super cool.

568
00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:49,120
They don't tell you how much sleeping in the rain is going to involve.

569
00:20:49,120 --> 00:20:50,120
You know what I mean?

570
00:20:50,120 --> 00:20:52,600
They also don't tell you that the whole thing sucks.

571
00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:53,600
Yeah.

572
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:54,600
What's up with that?

573
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:56,920
Why is all the cool stuff really shitty?

574
00:20:56,920 --> 00:21:01,760
Why can't something be cool at face value and exactly what I expected to be in my head?

575
00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:02,760
What's up with that?

576
00:21:02,760 --> 00:21:05,680
It just doesn't work, man.

577
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:06,680
Why not?

578
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:09,560
Because they hate you.

579
00:21:09,560 --> 00:21:11,360
They want you to suffer.

580
00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:12,460
Stupid.

581
00:21:12,460 --> 00:21:14,440
They want you to be sad.

582
00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,840
They're winning.

583
00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:20,000
Correct.

584
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:23,000
I just don't get it.

585
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,840
Why can't I be exactly James Bond?

586
00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:27,840
Literally just that exact thing.

587
00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:29,840
Because you're you.

588
00:21:29,840 --> 00:21:33,960
Well, yeah, but I want to be James Bond.

589
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:34,960
Exactly James Bond.

590
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:39,920
I want to drive Aston Martins and wear suits and get tortured a whole bunch, actually.

591
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:41,760
Let's break it down bare bones.

592
00:21:41,760 --> 00:21:45,040
James Bond, not a little stinker.

593
00:21:45,040 --> 00:21:49,720
Kyle O'Donoghue, a little stinker.

594
00:21:49,720 --> 00:21:50,720
Oh, fuck.

595
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:51,720
You got me there.

596
00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:53,800
I've foiled.

597
00:21:53,800 --> 00:21:56,280
When you take it as far down as you can.

598
00:21:56,280 --> 00:21:58,880
When you put it side by side like that, it's pretty damning.

599
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:00,640
You know, it can't be done.

600
00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:04,840
Pretty incriminating stuff.

601
00:22:04,840 --> 00:22:12,160
I'm also not British and by proxy I've visited a dentist and I think that's a disqualifier.

602
00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:13,160
It's true.

603
00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:16,600
Can't be a secret operative if you've had a dental exam.

604
00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:17,600
This is true.

605
00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:18,600
This is true.

606
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:19,600
What else?

607
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:22,600
What else do spies do that I haven't done?

608
00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:23,880
I assume they crawl on vents.

609
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:24,880
I see that a lot.

610
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:25,880
True.

611
00:22:25,880 --> 00:22:26,880
There's a lot of them crawling.

612
00:22:26,880 --> 00:22:28,080
I have actually never crawled in a single event.

613
00:22:28,080 --> 00:22:29,240
So that's probably my first.

614
00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:30,240
I've crawled an event before.

615
00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:31,240
Have you really?

616
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:32,240
Well, not a real event.

617
00:22:32,240 --> 00:22:36,000
It was a vent at the Spy Museum in Washington, D.C. and I was like seven.

618
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,040
OK, so not quite the same thing.

619
00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:39,040
I mean, it was a vent.

620
00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:41,880
It was also like carpeted and had lights and air conditioning.

621
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:43,880
Well, I guess all vents have air conditioning.

622
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:47,280
But there was an observation window.

623
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:52,040
I waved to my mom, she looked at me disappointedly.

624
00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:55,520
I continued crawling.

625
00:22:55,520 --> 00:22:59,640
Also it was like about a quarter the size of this room.

626
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,400
It's a big vent.

627
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:02,880
It's a large vent.

628
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:05,320
I feel like most vents aren't very big.

629
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:09,680
No, I'm not really sure how we've allowed that movie stereotype to live for so long.

630
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:14,720
Like we're looking at our like six by three air vents and we're like, yeah, get in there.

631
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:15,920
Tom Cruise could fit in that thing.

632
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:16,920
No problem.

633
00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:20,840
Tom Cruise is a little man, but Tom Cruise is like four foot three.

634
00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:22,040
Tom Cruise probably could fit in there.

635
00:23:22,040 --> 00:23:23,320
Tom Cruise is a hobbit.

636
00:23:23,320 --> 00:23:28,240
However, you would hear Tom Cruise because he would be babbling on about Scientology

637
00:23:28,240 --> 00:23:29,240
the entire time.

638
00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:32,960
Like, huh, there's a Scientologist in my vents.

639
00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:34,880
Tom, is that you?

640
00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:36,760
There are Jews under my house.

641
00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:37,760
I'm not crazy.

642
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:39,760
There's a Scientologist in my vents.

643
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:43,840
What a world we live in.

644
00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:44,840
What's up with that?

645
00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:45,840
Why'd they do that?

646
00:23:45,840 --> 00:23:46,840
How'd they do that?

647
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:47,840
They're not in the tunnels.

648
00:23:47,840 --> 00:23:48,840
They're not the cartel.

649
00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:50,840
They're just some like they had migrants doing it for them.

650
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:51,840
Really?

651
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:52,840
Yeah.

652
00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:53,840
They were raping the kids in there.

653
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:59,600
Is that confirmed that last I knew that was like highly, highly speculated, even crazier

654
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:00,600
than Alex Jones conspiracy.

655
00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:03,600
I don't think it's that crazy.

656
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:06,320
What were they doing in the tunnel then moving?

657
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:08,040
I don't know.

658
00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:09,040
Why do you assume?

659
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:10,040
All right.

660
00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:11,040
They did something weird.

661
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:12,040
They must be raping kids.

662
00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:15,120
That's always what it is, man.

663
00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:16,600
Like think about it, dude.

664
00:24:16,600 --> 00:24:17,600
Who is it?

665
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:21,680
If you're a powerful figure and you're doing something shady, you're probably raping kids.

666
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:26,000
I think you could do a lot of other shady things aside from raping kids.

667
00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:27,760
You could embezzle money.

668
00:24:27,760 --> 00:24:28,760
It's kind of like-

669
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:32,240
You could have sex with lots of women.

670
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:33,480
It's kind of like wearing a monocle.

671
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:35,400
You can't just wear a monocle.

672
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:38,160
You also have to draw maps.

673
00:24:38,160 --> 00:24:40,180
You can't just embezzle money.

674
00:24:40,180 --> 00:24:42,760
You also have to sexually assault children.

675
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:44,520
It just comes with the territory.

676
00:24:44,520 --> 00:24:47,000
For whatever reason, there are a lot of the elites, obviously.

677
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:48,760
If you're powerful and you're doing bad things-

678
00:24:48,760 --> 00:24:49,760
That like kids.

679
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:51,200
You kind of just do it.

680
00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:52,200
It comes with the territory.

681
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:58,160
Are you saying that just normal, acidic Jews are just wildly powerful men?

682
00:24:58,160 --> 00:25:05,120
Look man, I don't know what type of conspiracy theories you subscribe to, but let me tell

683
00:25:05,120 --> 00:25:06,920
you, I got a list.

684
00:25:06,920 --> 00:25:12,640
I try to stray from the anti-Jewish ones because that's gone bad before.

685
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:18,240
I'd like to be on the good side when it repeats.

686
00:25:18,240 --> 00:25:20,440
Just think about this for a second, right?

687
00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:21,440
World War II, right?

688
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:22,880
Where were they hiding?

689
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:23,880
The Jews?

690
00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:24,880
Yep.

691
00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:27,120
Under four boards and tunnels and stuff?

692
00:25:27,120 --> 00:25:29,480
They yearn for the tunnels.

693
00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:31,280
Oh heavens.

694
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:36,120
Is that anti-Semitec to say?

695
00:25:36,120 --> 00:25:37,120
It depends on who you ask.

696
00:25:37,120 --> 00:25:41,200
I think everybody that listens to this will understand that that was said in a joking

697
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:47,800
context and then if other people hear it, they'd be incredibly offended and most likely

698
00:25:47,800 --> 00:25:48,800
not Jewish.

699
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:49,800
It's true.

700
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:50,800
It's true.

701
00:25:50,800 --> 00:25:53,640
I believe I met one Jewish man.

702
00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:54,640
He was Asian.

703
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:55,640
What?

704
00:25:55,640 --> 00:25:59,000
Was he religiously Jewish?

705
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:00,000
Oh both.

706
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:03,560
I guess he was like a half-Asian.

707
00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:05,120
But you know, that half was a very prominent half.

708
00:26:05,120 --> 00:26:06,600
You've definitely met a lot of other Jewish people.

709
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:07,600
You just didn't realize it?

710
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:08,600
I suppose.

711
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:10,920
I guess he's the only person who ever told me, yeah man, I'm Jewish.

712
00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:13,360
Did he just offer that like when he met you?

713
00:26:13,360 --> 00:26:15,480
Well, I was out smoking.

714
00:26:15,480 --> 00:26:17,480
And he was like, hey, I'm a Jew.

715
00:26:17,480 --> 00:26:18,480
Can I have a cigarette?

716
00:26:18,480 --> 00:26:19,960
No, I was like, you want a cigarette?

717
00:26:19,960 --> 00:26:21,160
And he was like, no thanks.

718
00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:22,160
I don't smoke.

719
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:23,160
It's not kosher.

720
00:26:23,160 --> 00:26:26,360
And I'm like, I actually don't think that's how kosher works, but power to you.

721
00:26:26,360 --> 00:26:27,360
Are you Jewish?

722
00:26:27,360 --> 00:26:28,360
And he's like, yeah.

723
00:26:28,360 --> 00:26:29,840
I'm like, oh, can I ask you a question?

724
00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:30,840
And he's like, yeah, what's up?

725
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:31,840
You're an Asian.

726
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:32,840
Yes, I am.

727
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:34,560
I don't know they make Jews like that.

728
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:35,560
He's like, yeah.

729
00:26:35,560 --> 00:26:36,560
That's fair.

730
00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:37,560
Where was this?

731
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:38,560
This is Bekonoki.

732
00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:41,160
Okay, okay, okay.

733
00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:42,160
Yeah.

734
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:46,760
Well, although he's a very good guy, actually like in person, never met a never met a Jewish

735
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:47,760
person I haven't liked.

736
00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:51,160
And by that, I mean the one guy I know who is Jewish.

737
00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:56,680
I think if I meet people and talk to them generally, I like them.

738
00:26:56,680 --> 00:27:00,560
Less and less as I get older, actually, I did go to I went to high school with a Jewish

739
00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:02,980
girl and she wasn't the best.

740
00:27:02,980 --> 00:27:05,960
But I think no relation to her Jewishness.

741
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:06,960
She just sucked.

742
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:07,960
Yeah.

743
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:08,960
It's just a her thing.

744
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:11,120
You know, she she could have been like a devout Catholic.

745
00:27:11,120 --> 00:27:12,120
She also would have sucked regardless.

746
00:27:12,120 --> 00:27:14,040
I got you know, it's fair.

747
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:18,120
But yeah, unironically, both groups, kids.

748
00:27:18,120 --> 00:27:19,720
Yeah, yeah.

749
00:27:19,720 --> 00:27:21,000
What's up with that, man?

750
00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:22,840
What is up with that?

751
00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:28,440
It's just it's it sure is happening a lot, you know, like enough to make you go, huh,

752
00:27:28,440 --> 00:27:29,440
that's weird.

753
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:30,440
Yeah.

754
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:33,940
Is it like a common thing is like, obviously, it shouldn't be but like, it kind of seems

755
00:27:33,940 --> 00:27:35,200
like it might be.

756
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,880
It would lead you to believe it's a lot more common than you think.

757
00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:39,160
Yeah, you hate to see that.

758
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:40,160
You really do.

759
00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:41,160
You really do.

760
00:27:41,160 --> 00:27:42,160
It's not good.

761
00:27:42,160 --> 00:27:44,560
Well, literally, if you see that, that's a felony.

762
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:45,560
But that's true.

763
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:48,560
Yeah, like I don't know.

764
00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:49,560
Makes you wonder.

765
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:52,080
I'm buying a bell to put in here for what purpose?

766
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:53,080
Just think it'd be fun.

767
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:57,040
Like what we're talking here, like like a ship bell, like a hanging bell.

768
00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:58,840
It's a cast iron welcome bell.

769
00:27:58,840 --> 00:27:59,840
A welcome.

770
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:00,840
It's got a cow on it.

771
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:01,840
You can read it.

772
00:28:01,840 --> 00:28:02,840
Is it a cowbell?

773
00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:04,840
No, but it's got a cow on here.

774
00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:05,840
I pulled up.

775
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:10,400
When I was a kid, I had a Arkansas Razorbacks cowbell and I was not a Razorbacks fan.

776
00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:11,400
I just bought the cowbell.

777
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:12,400
Sure.

778
00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:13,840
And I got to tell you, my parents loved it.

779
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:14,840
Very nice.

780
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:15,840
Yeah.

781
00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:16,840
Really, really big fans of that one.

782
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:17,840
Wait, what?

783
00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:18,840
Say that again.

784
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:21,520
They were really big fans of my Arkansas Raiders cowbell.

785
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:22,520
Your parents?

786
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:23,520
Yeah.

787
00:28:23,520 --> 00:28:24,520
Why did you have that?

788
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:25,520
I don't know.

789
00:28:25,520 --> 00:28:26,520
I don't know who looked at this thing.

790
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:27,520
I was like, I'll let my child buy that cowbell.

791
00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:30,840
Like if my daughter came up to me with a cowbell, I would grab that thing.

792
00:28:30,840 --> 00:28:32,440
I was pulling it as hard as I can.

793
00:28:32,440 --> 00:28:33,440
You're not bringing that in my house.

794
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:34,440
You know?

795
00:28:34,440 --> 00:28:35,440
That's fair.

796
00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:36,440
Oh yeah.

797
00:28:36,440 --> 00:28:37,440
Child with a cowbell.

798
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:38,440
What could go wrong?

799
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:39,440
Yeah.

800
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:42,440
Like just noisy toys in general.

801
00:28:42,440 --> 00:28:45,800
Have I complained about the kitchen set on this podcast?

802
00:28:45,800 --> 00:28:46,800
What's up?

803
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:49,840
Have I complained about her kitchen set on this podcast?

804
00:28:49,840 --> 00:28:50,840
You've not.

805
00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:56,440
She has a little kitchen set that if you push a button, it plays What Does the Fox Say incredibly

806
00:28:56,440 --> 00:28:57,440
loud.

807
00:28:57,440 --> 00:28:58,920
This is not advertised on the box.

808
00:28:58,920 --> 00:29:01,320
This is not advertised in the marketing at all.

809
00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:07,160
You push the button and then very, very loudly.

810
00:29:07,160 --> 00:29:08,640
It doesn't stop until you turn it off.

811
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:09,640
It's actually super cool.

812
00:29:09,640 --> 00:29:10,640
I love it.

813
00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:11,640
That's the worst thing.

814
00:29:11,640 --> 00:29:12,640
Yeah.

815
00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:13,640
I hate it.

816
00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:14,640
Yeah.

817
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:15,640
And you know, some engineer was sitting there like, man, I hate my job.

818
00:29:15,640 --> 00:29:16,640
I hate my job.

819
00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:18,840
What can I do to just show them how much I hate my job?

820
00:29:18,840 --> 00:29:19,960
Oh, that's a lovely little.

821
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:20,960
It's cool, right?

822
00:29:20,960 --> 00:29:21,960
Yeah.

823
00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:22,960
Like I don't know why I want it.

824
00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:27,200
We have a bell at work that people ring when there's safety violations.

825
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:30,920
I was like, I want a bell like that and I'm going to steal that bell, but not now because

826
00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:32,520
I'm going to work there for another year and a half.

827
00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:34,840
I'm going to buy my own bell right now.

828
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:39,040
So yeah, in 18 minutes, this bell should be mine.

829
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:40,040
Oh yeah.

830
00:29:40,040 --> 00:29:41,040
Is that like a Goodwill auction?

831
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:42,040
Yeah, dude.

832
00:29:42,040 --> 00:29:43,040
That's crazy.

833
00:29:43,040 --> 00:29:44,040
It's fucking awesome.

834
00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:45,040
You can find so much shit on here.

835
00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:46,680
You can find like $6 typewriters.

836
00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:47,680
That thing, nine bucks.

837
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:48,680
Wow.

838
00:29:48,680 --> 00:29:49,680
Works perfectly.

839
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:51,440
You can really find anything.

840
00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:59,720
I bought a Christmas gift for my nephew, like 60 matchbox cars, like 12 bucks.

841
00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:02,560
I want to circle back to the tunnel thing, like digging a tunnel on its own.

842
00:30:02,560 --> 00:30:05,080
Is that a crime?

843
00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:10,560
I assume it's like a zoning issue and also just hugely dangerous.

844
00:30:10,560 --> 00:30:13,240
You dig under somebody's house, their house can just, it's a fucking sinkhole.

845
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:14,240
It just claps.

846
00:30:14,240 --> 00:30:15,240
I suppose.

847
00:30:15,240 --> 00:30:18,280
What if you reinforce your hole?

848
00:30:18,280 --> 00:30:22,160
I mean, if you were smart enough to do it, but that would probably require engineers

849
00:30:22,160 --> 00:30:23,160
and shit.

850
00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:26,720
And again, you'd have to get permission and they're not going to give you permission to

851
00:30:26,720 --> 00:30:29,040
dig tunnels unless you're Elon Musk.

852
00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:33,840
If it's my property, say I go out and I buy a hundred acres of land, I call 811.

853
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:37,680
They outline all of the wires and they tell me, hey, just so you know, if you dig below

854
00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:39,480
six feet, you will not hit anything.

855
00:30:39,480 --> 00:30:41,200
And I'm like, very cool, very cool.

856
00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:46,360
And then I find a nice safe spot of land and I dig six feet down and I just start tunneling.

857
00:30:46,360 --> 00:30:51,760
Is that a violation of any law?

858
00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:56,040
Depends on the law in your state and in particular the land use laws and the zoning laws, but

859
00:30:56,040 --> 00:31:00,400
in general, there would be no objection to your digging tunnels beneath your house, provided

860
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:02,640
it is not adversely affect your neighbor's house.

861
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:03,640
Interesting.

862
00:31:03,640 --> 00:31:07,080
So it appears if you own the property, however, who the fuck owns New York property?

863
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:09,680
Well, did the Jews do?

864
00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:10,680
All of it.

865
00:31:10,680 --> 00:31:15,080
I assume if they own it and it's not a adversely affecting their neighbors, they could have

866
00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:17,080
done it, which would leave me to believe.

867
00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:20,320
Unfortunately, they did dig under that man's house as you know by his tweets.

868
00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:23,000
Well, I mean, he almost certainly didn't own the apartment.

869
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:24,000
That's true.

870
00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:25,000
I guess.

871
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:27,840
Yeah, they were definitely in the wrong.

872
00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:34,080
Yes, but like I think digging a hole sounds kind of fun, you know, I could fuck with digging

873
00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:37,880
a tunnel if I was like confident that it would be secure.

874
00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:44,680
Well, like old mine shafts, man, those things had like just boards on top and I think they

875
00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:45,680
were fairly.

876
00:31:45,680 --> 00:31:47,600
I mean, besides all the cave in, they were fairly secure.

877
00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:48,600
Sure, sure.

878
00:31:48,600 --> 00:31:49,600
I don't know.

879
00:31:49,600 --> 00:31:50,600
You want to just go start digging tunnels?

880
00:31:50,600 --> 00:31:51,600
Sure, man.

881
00:31:51,600 --> 00:31:52,600
Want that to be our new thing?

882
00:31:52,600 --> 00:31:53,600
Sounds fun.

883
00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:54,600
Awesome.

884
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:56,080
I can't even dig a giant cave underneath my yard.

885
00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:57,480
Yeah, that's not good actually.

886
00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:00,720
Speaking of my yard, I'm taking a beekeeping class at the end of February.

887
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:01,720
Oh really?

888
00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:03,720
Jason Statham just starred in a movie called The Beekeeper.

889
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:04,720
I don't know who that is.

890
00:32:04,720 --> 00:32:05,720
He's the bald British guy.

891
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:06,720
No, not really.

892
00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:07,720
Bad teeth?

893
00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:08,720
Fairly.

894
00:32:08,720 --> 00:32:11,720
You want to do a beekeeping course with me?

895
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:12,720
Oh, fuck yeah, I do.

896
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:13,720
Really?

897
00:32:13,720 --> 00:32:14,720
Yeah.

898
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:15,720
It's $110.

899
00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:17,720
OK, well, you're losing me there, but like, you know.

900
00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:18,720
However.

901
00:32:18,720 --> 00:32:19,720
How long does it last?

902
00:32:19,720 --> 00:32:22,720
It's Friday, Saturday, Sunday.

903
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:28,800
Friday, Saturday, 830 a.m. to 4 p.m. Saturday, 830 to noon.

904
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:29,800
And it's in.

905
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:33,560
What's the one past your house?

906
00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:34,560
Emerilis?

907
00:32:34,560 --> 00:32:35,560
No.

908
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:36,560
I don't know.

909
00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:39,240
Or it might be in Sneed's Ferry.

910
00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:40,240
I don't know.

911
00:32:40,240 --> 00:32:41,240
It's at a hotel convention center.

912
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:43,520
And then the third day is like hands on with bees.

913
00:32:43,520 --> 00:32:45,000
That's pretty cool actually.

914
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:46,000
Yeah.

915
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,120
And apparently you're allowed to have in the state of North Carolina, you're allowed to

916
00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:50,960
have up to five beehives in town.

917
00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:55,720
Here's the question, per my rental agreement, would I need to pay $300 per bee?

918
00:32:55,720 --> 00:32:58,560
Because if I have a pet, I need to pay $300 for that pet.

919
00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:00,400
You just have to ask them.

920
00:33:00,400 --> 00:33:01,960
Ask them if they want free honey.

921
00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:04,160
Hey, I'll give you a jar of honey.

922
00:33:04,160 --> 00:33:07,520
Are bees a protected species?

923
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:10,680
I don't know.

924
00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:12,960
I think that they are, aren't they?

925
00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:14,200
They should be.

926
00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:17,720
And if I build a beehive, can they stop me?

927
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:18,720
Can they make me take it down?

928
00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:23,400
In 2016, the first US bee species to earn federal protection under the Endangered Species

929
00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:27,080
Act were seven species of Hawaiian yellow faced bees.

930
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:31,040
Well, we probably don't have those here given we are not in Hawaii.

931
00:33:31,040 --> 00:33:34,040
That's just my assumption.

932
00:33:34,040 --> 00:33:37,120
But dude, I'm getting bees.

933
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:40,880
Can you imagine how much better my garden is going to function when I have bees?

934
00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:41,880
Yeah.

935
00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:42,880
Hell yeah.

936
00:33:42,880 --> 00:33:46,520
A lady comes into my yard, stung.

937
00:33:46,520 --> 00:33:48,080
Idiot.

938
00:33:48,080 --> 00:33:50,920
Can you learn to radicalize the bees?

939
00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:56,240
I doubt it, but that's not going to stop me from trying.

940
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:59,120
Bees communicate via dance, right?

941
00:33:59,120 --> 00:34:06,640
Could you learn perhaps an elaborate miming routine that would teach the bees?

942
00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:10,960
You know the airplane guys who do the signaling to let the plane know where to go?

943
00:34:10,960 --> 00:34:15,000
If you just learn how to do that really well, could you just unleash an army of bees on

944
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:16,000
somebody?

945
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:21,120
I'm fighting with a guy in my backyard just starting doing a really stupid dance.

946
00:34:21,120 --> 00:34:26,680
It takes like six minutes and then I point at him and just swarms of bees.

947
00:34:26,680 --> 00:34:28,560
You start throwing down that Macarena.

948
00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:30,360
They're like, what's going on?

949
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:34,680
Oh no, he's got the bees.

950
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:36,600
I see no downside to that.

951
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:38,000
Dog, I'm getting bees.

952
00:34:38,000 --> 00:34:40,320
I'm getting chickens.

953
00:34:40,320 --> 00:34:44,920
No one would believe that you domesticated these bees.

954
00:34:44,920 --> 00:34:46,840
You can face no legal repercussion.

955
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:47,840
It's beautiful.

956
00:34:47,840 --> 00:34:48,840
Yeah.

957
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:49,840
It's the perfect rhyme.

958
00:34:49,840 --> 00:34:52,240
Oh hey, I got a question for you.

959
00:34:52,240 --> 00:34:55,520
There's one specific type of tomato I'm going to grow.

960
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:59,640
However, this specific type of tomato, it's a wild tomato grown in South America.

961
00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:01,280
I got seeds for it.

962
00:35:01,280 --> 00:35:02,280
They're growing right now.

963
00:35:02,280 --> 00:35:07,120
I guess I have plants now.

964
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:08,640
Most tomatoes pollinate themselves.

965
00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:11,160
They have both the male and the female parts.

966
00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:12,160
This one also has that.

967
00:35:12,160 --> 00:35:13,880
However, it puts off pollen.

968
00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:19,360
If it's a half mile from any other tomato plant, it will pollinate those tomato plants

969
00:35:19,360 --> 00:35:22,440
and I just get a bunch of crazy ass crosses, which would be cool.

970
00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:26,880
You need to keep a half mile away if you want to be able to save seeds of the other tomatoes.

971
00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:30,160
Can I keep a tomato plant at your house?

972
00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:32,240
The plant itself or the seeds?

973
00:35:32,240 --> 00:35:33,240
The plant.

974
00:35:33,240 --> 00:35:38,160
I'll bring a planter with dirt, plant it.

975
00:35:38,160 --> 00:35:39,760
I just need to keep it far away.

976
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:40,760
You can.

977
00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:44,920
The issue that you're going to encounter is it needed me and my wife are experienced tomato

978
00:35:44,920 --> 00:35:45,920
keepers.

979
00:35:45,920 --> 00:35:49,920
If there's anything beyond just rudimentary watering.

980
00:35:49,920 --> 00:35:51,400
That'd be enough.

981
00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:53,640
This is one of the hardiest plants.

982
00:35:53,640 --> 00:35:55,400
Not the normal tomato, this tomato in particular.

983
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:56,440
They're that big.

984
00:35:56,440 --> 00:36:00,680
They also taste like berries, so you guys might like this one or your child.

985
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:03,480
Could we perhaps throw them at passing cars?

986
00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:04,480
For sure.

987
00:36:04,480 --> 00:36:05,480
They're very small though.

988
00:36:05,480 --> 00:36:06,480
They're the size of a pea.

989
00:36:06,480 --> 00:36:07,480
Okay, not interested anymore.

990
00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:08,480
I want large.

991
00:36:08,480 --> 00:36:12,480
I'll give you two large tomato plants if you'll keep this one.

992
00:36:12,480 --> 00:36:13,480
Do.

993
00:36:13,480 --> 00:36:14,480
That's the size.

994
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:16,840
Oh, what a tiny little tomato.

995
00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:17,840
You can flick these things.

996
00:36:17,840 --> 00:36:23,360
Imagine you're in an argument with somebody and you're just flicking.

997
00:36:23,360 --> 00:36:24,760
Flicking tomato beans at them.

998
00:36:24,760 --> 00:36:26,760
Flicking slingshotting tomatoes.

999
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:28,560
Fucking idiot.

1000
00:36:28,560 --> 00:36:32,160
Just sling a tomato out of his fast as shit.

1001
00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:36,120
So I can keep tomatoes at your house?

1002
00:36:36,120 --> 00:36:37,120
Nice.

1003
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:38,120
Swag.

1004
00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:40,560
Swag, swag, swag.

1005
00:36:40,560 --> 00:36:45,420
That would be... I kind of want to keep them here so that I can just get a bunch of crazy

1006
00:36:45,420 --> 00:36:49,920
ass tomato plants, but I also want normal tomatoes.

1007
00:36:49,920 --> 00:36:51,960
Maybe another time.

1008
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:52,960
What do you mean?

1009
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:53,960
It's like they cross-pull.

1010
00:36:53,960 --> 00:37:01,240
They just yank the genes out of other tomato plants and they're like, you're mine now.

1011
00:37:01,240 --> 00:37:02,400
I assume all plants are like this.

1012
00:37:02,400 --> 00:37:03,760
I know tomatoes specifically.

1013
00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:07,560
If I were to cross this one and let's just say a beefsteak tomato.

1014
00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:14,160
Next year it would be some hybrid plant and I could select certain fruit, regrow it, and

1015
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:17,800
then continue to chase that gene and eventually it would stabilize.

1016
00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:24,840
That's what an heirloom tomato is, but it can take 10 years to stabilize something.

1017
00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:29,440
So next year I would just have a bunch of wonky plants if I did this.

1018
00:37:29,440 --> 00:37:33,720
The ones this year would be true to whatever seed I planted.

1019
00:37:33,720 --> 00:37:35,240
Next year they would be weird if I saved the seeds.

1020
00:37:35,240 --> 00:37:36,240
What are you saying?

1021
00:37:36,240 --> 00:37:40,000
How long do you think it would take you to create your own species of dog?

1022
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:41,000
Dog?

1023
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:42,000
Yep.

1024
00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:43,600
There's so many variants.

1025
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:46,560
If you just make a dog smaller, it's a new breed.

1026
00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:53,520
I want a six foot sitting down, just feral wolf dog creature.

1027
00:37:53,520 --> 00:37:55,880
I want this thing more close to a wolf and a bear than a dog.

1028
00:37:55,880 --> 00:37:56,880
You know what I mean?

1029
00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:57,880
You mean like a wolf dog?

1030
00:37:57,880 --> 00:37:58,880
No, no, no, no.

1031
00:37:58,880 --> 00:37:59,880
I mean a wolf bear.

1032
00:37:59,880 --> 00:38:00,880
Wolf bear?

1033
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:01,880
Yep.

1034
00:38:01,880 --> 00:38:02,880
Well those are different animals.

1035
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:03,880
I don't think you can.

1036
00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:04,880
Well I know.

1037
00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:05,880
I want the closest thing possible though.

1038
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:09,840
I assume many, many, many generations, so like a lifetime at least.

1039
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:13,760
Like imagine a pit bull, but it's like eight feet tall.

1040
00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:16,520
That's what I want.

1041
00:38:16,520 --> 00:38:24,120
I feel like you could cross a great dane and a pit bull and then continue selectively breeding

1042
00:38:24,120 --> 00:38:29,360
larger and larger until they mostly have the pit bull gene, but they're that size.

1043
00:38:29,360 --> 00:38:34,640
I think that'd be pretty terrifying.

1044
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:36,280
You're walking down the street and here I am.

1045
00:38:36,280 --> 00:38:37,640
The hood's scary enough as it is.

1046
00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:39,720
We don't need fucking- Here I am with my-

1047
00:38:39,720 --> 00:38:42,760
We don't need donkey sized pit bulls.

1048
00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:44,080
Jesus.

1049
00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:47,840
Can you imagine if Lady was the size of a small horse?

1050
00:38:47,840 --> 00:38:48,840
It'd be over.

1051
00:38:48,840 --> 00:38:49,840
No chance.

1052
00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:50,840
What would you call that?

1053
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:51,840
A monster?

1054
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:52,840
A six foot pit bull.

1055
00:38:52,840 --> 00:38:53,840
What's its name?

1056
00:38:53,840 --> 00:38:54,840
A monster.

1057
00:38:54,840 --> 00:38:55,840
I think it's called pit boss actually.

1058
00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:56,840
That would be the name.

1059
00:38:56,840 --> 00:38:57,840
Interesting.

1060
00:38:57,840 --> 00:38:58,840
Isn't that a grill?

1061
00:38:58,840 --> 00:38:59,840
What?

1062
00:38:59,840 --> 00:39:00,840
It's a grill brand.

1063
00:39:00,840 --> 00:39:01,840
Is it?

1064
00:39:01,840 --> 00:39:02,840
I think so.

1065
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:05,840
I do believe.

1066
00:39:05,840 --> 00:39:09,320
It's my dog.

1067
00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:10,320
What breed is it?

1068
00:39:10,320 --> 00:39:11,320
Boss.

1069
00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:12,320
Pit boss.

1070
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:16,720
It's just a monstrosity of a creature.

1071
00:39:16,720 --> 00:39:19,040
Could you backwards breed a dog?

1072
00:39:19,040 --> 00:39:20,040
Back into a wolf?

1073
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:21,040
Back into a wolf.

1074
00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:22,040
That's a good question.

1075
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:23,040
I don't know.

1076
00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:24,040
I don't know if she'd like-

1077
00:39:24,040 --> 00:39:25,040
I know I couldn't.

1078
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:28,360
What could it be done over 10,000 years?

1079
00:39:28,360 --> 00:39:31,180
I'm sure somewhere out there's a geneticist who's working on this exact thing right now

1080
00:39:31,180 --> 00:39:34,840
and any day now will irresponsibly release just an army of wolves.

1081
00:39:34,840 --> 00:39:40,640
We all know it's coming, but like-

1082
00:39:40,640 --> 00:39:42,000
You want to be a real maniacal man?

1083
00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:44,200
You start cross breeding spiders.

1084
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:46,040
That would be some freaky stuff.

1085
00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:47,600
I don't want to think about that.

1086
00:39:47,600 --> 00:39:49,440
I'm definitely afraid of spiders.

1087
00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:50,440
Are you really?

1088
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:51,440
Yes, I fucking hate them.

1089
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:52,440
Okay.

1090
00:39:52,440 --> 00:39:53,440
Can't stand them.

1091
00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:56,440
Girl, I went to high school with these to chase me around a classroom of dead spiders.

1092
00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:58,960
They're like lizards, dude.

1093
00:39:58,960 --> 00:39:59,960
I'm not afraid of lizards.

1094
00:39:59,960 --> 00:40:02,520
No, no, I cross breed lizards would be terrifying as well.

1095
00:40:02,520 --> 00:40:03,800
You get those horny ones like-

1096
00:40:03,800 --> 00:40:04,800
Nope.

1097
00:40:04,800 --> 00:40:07,080
You get the ones with the horns on them.

1098
00:40:07,080 --> 00:40:08,080
You know what I'm talking about?

1099
00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:09,080
Like a bearded dragon?

1100
00:40:09,080 --> 00:40:10,080
Sure.

1101
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:11,080
Then you get like a-

1102
00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:12,080
What are they called?

1103
00:40:12,080 --> 00:40:13,080
A Komodo dragon, dude?

1104
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:14,080
Yeah.

1105
00:40:14,080 --> 00:40:18,800
Now you got just like this nine foot lizard that foams, poison at the mouth and has horns

1106
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:22,520
on it charging at you at 13 miles an hour.

1107
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:25,080
That'd be awful.

1108
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:27,660
Yeah.

1109
00:40:27,660 --> 00:40:32,720
If I had a great understanding of genetics, I would be like, you know how in Lord of the

1110
00:40:32,720 --> 00:40:36,840
Rings, Morgoth is just creating horrible, horrible creatures go torment Middle Earth?

1111
00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:37,840
Yep.

1112
00:40:37,840 --> 00:40:38,840
I'd be doing that.

1113
00:40:38,840 --> 00:40:39,840
Interesting.

1114
00:40:39,840 --> 00:40:44,320
I don't think lizards are like that broad like tomatoes or dogs.

1115
00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:51,400
I think there's probably subspecies within the species or the type and those could interbreed.

1116
00:40:51,400 --> 00:40:55,280
I've watched Jurassic Park and I know that they were able to seamlessly just grab chunks

1117
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:57,640
out of lizards and make them into whatever they wanted.

1118
00:40:57,640 --> 00:41:02,920
So I can safely say I'm an expert on the subject and you can go fuck yourself.

1119
00:41:02,920 --> 00:41:11,680
Do you think if I got a cow and I got a therapist who say it was an emotional support animal,

1120
00:41:11,680 --> 00:41:14,680
could I keep it in my backyard?

1121
00:41:14,680 --> 00:41:17,640
Who's going to stop me?

1122
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:23,680
I would argue actually the faster way to be able to keep a cow in your backyard is to

1123
00:41:23,680 --> 00:41:25,280
convert to what's it called?

1124
00:41:25,280 --> 00:41:26,280
Buddhism?

1125
00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:27,280
What's the Hinduism?

1126
00:41:27,280 --> 00:41:28,280
Yeah.

1127
00:41:28,280 --> 00:41:31,680
Convert to Hinduism and have it like declared some type of sacred animal.

1128
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:33,880
That would probably be the faster way.

1129
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:34,880
Religious exemption?

1130
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:35,880
Yeah.

1131
00:41:35,880 --> 00:41:36,880
Interesting.

1132
00:41:36,880 --> 00:41:41,440
If I just had a cow that take it, which sucks.

1133
00:41:41,440 --> 00:41:42,440
Pretty confident.

1134
00:41:42,440 --> 00:41:43,440
Yeah.

1135
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:44,440
There's a neighbor over here that had a pig.

1136
00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:45,440
They took it.

1137
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:47,120
It was like one of those little pigs too.

1138
00:41:47,120 --> 00:41:51,560
Well, that started out as a little pig and now a very large pig.

1139
00:41:51,560 --> 00:41:54,240
Yeah, they took it because it's a farm animal.

1140
00:41:54,240 --> 00:41:55,240
It's stupid.

1141
00:41:55,240 --> 00:41:56,240
Who categorized farm animals?

1142
00:41:56,240 --> 00:41:57,240
Jacksonville.

1143
00:41:57,240 --> 00:41:58,240
That's fucking stupid.

1144
00:41:58,240 --> 00:41:59,240
Yeah.

1145
00:41:59,240 --> 00:42:07,280
Can you imagine that if I had a fucking cow, chickens, bees, Kim?

1146
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:08,280
Kim's a farm animal.

1147
00:42:08,280 --> 00:42:09,280
Kim's a whole farm animal.

1148
00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:10,280
Like fuck a pig.

1149
00:42:10,280 --> 00:42:12,480
Kim's a, that thing is wild, dude.

1150
00:42:12,480 --> 00:42:16,440
Like you just said, fuck a pig.

1151
00:42:16,440 --> 00:42:19,440
Kim's a whole creature, dude.

1152
00:42:19,440 --> 00:42:20,440
Kim is a sweet dog.

1153
00:42:20,440 --> 00:42:21,440
Don't be mean to her.

1154
00:42:21,440 --> 00:42:23,800
She is, but she's, she's a scary little beast.

1155
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:24,800
Yeah.

1156
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:27,880
If Kim flipped a switch, she could probably kill me.

1157
00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:28,880
Yeah.

1158
00:42:28,880 --> 00:42:33,880
She's 40 pounds, but can like pull me around when she's playing tug of war.

1159
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:36,560
Her 60 pound dog does not stand a chance.

1160
00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:39,160
I think most dogs actually don't stand a chance against Kim.

1161
00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:41,200
I would bet Kion Kim versus most dogs.

1162
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:42,200
Yeah.

1163
00:42:42,200 --> 00:42:43,200
Kim would be a good fighter.

1164
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:45,760
Except for of course, my pit boss, my pit boss would tear her apart.

1165
00:42:45,760 --> 00:42:46,760
Obviously.

1166
00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:51,760
It's a nine foot monstrosity I've created in my, my Dexter's laboratory in my house.

1167
00:42:51,760 --> 00:42:52,760
Kim's got pit bull in her.

1168
00:42:52,760 --> 00:42:53,760
Well, so does pit boss.

1169
00:42:53,760 --> 00:42:54,760
Unless it doesn't.

1170
00:42:54,760 --> 00:42:55,760
Unless he doesn't.

1171
00:42:55,760 --> 00:42:56,760
That's true.

1172
00:42:56,760 --> 00:43:02,680
I breed a dog so closely, it was almost John Pitbull, but unfortunately it could, it actually

1173
00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:03,680
didn't have any pit bull in it.

1174
00:43:03,680 --> 00:43:05,320
It was the only way to do it.

1175
00:43:05,320 --> 00:43:07,240
Only Chihuahua and Shih Tzu.

1176
00:43:07,240 --> 00:43:09,200
Very specifically bred.

1177
00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:16,120
And you know, the worst thing is though I could make this monstrosity of a creature and then

1178
00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:19,520
somebody out there would cross breed it with a wiener dog and it would just become this

1179
00:43:19,520 --> 00:43:22,680
like massive with stubby little legs.

1180
00:43:22,680 --> 00:43:23,680
Like Colt?

1181
00:43:23,680 --> 00:43:26,640
Yeah, just waddling at me fast as it can, ready to kill.

1182
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:29,680
Dude, wiener dogs are fast as fuck.

1183
00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:32,200
I've watched Bluey, he doesn't move very quickly at all.

1184
00:43:32,200 --> 00:43:33,560
Is Bluey a wiener dog?

1185
00:43:33,560 --> 00:43:35,000
No, but there's a wiener dog in Bluey.

1186
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:36,000
I can't remember his name.

1187
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:37,560
Have you seen a real wiener dog?

1188
00:43:37,560 --> 00:43:39,040
No, not in real life.

1189
00:43:39,040 --> 00:43:40,040
Oh, no, no, no, no.

1190
00:43:40,040 --> 00:43:41,040
You've seen Meg's dog?

1191
00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:42,040
Yeah.

1192
00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:43,040
The little boy has one, yeah.

1193
00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:44,040
What?

1194
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:48,680
But yeah, I've seen one wiener dog in person.

1195
00:43:48,680 --> 00:43:52,800
How have you not seen more wiener dogs, they're not an uncommon breed?

1196
00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:56,960
You think I'm out here just frolicking with dogs?

1197
00:43:56,960 --> 00:44:02,960
I think you've driven in a town before and probably seen a couple of wiener dogs.

1198
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:03,960
Not in person, no, no.

1199
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:04,960
You definitely have.

1200
00:44:04,960 --> 00:44:06,360
You may not have realized.

1201
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:07,360
I'm almost certainly not.

1202
00:44:07,360 --> 00:44:09,480
Like who's out here walking their wiener dog?

1203
00:44:09,480 --> 00:44:10,480
Nobody, dude.

1204
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:11,760
Most people that own wiener dogs.

1205
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:12,760
Oh, okay.

1206
00:44:12,760 --> 00:44:17,080
Well, if I saw you walking a wiener dog, I think I would rob you on principle.

1207
00:44:17,080 --> 00:44:21,040
So it's probably a good thing that I haven't seen anyone walking a wiener dog.

1208
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:24,960
That's how I feel about monocles.

1209
00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:28,960
You would fuck with my monocle until I pulled the old flip lock out on you and just one

1210
00:44:28,960 --> 00:44:31,720
single shot that's not very well aimed.

1211
00:44:31,720 --> 00:44:34,920
I spent 35 minutes reloading.

1212
00:44:34,920 --> 00:44:38,000
I would flick you in the monocle and I would fall and break.

1213
00:44:38,000 --> 00:44:40,040
Look like a fucking idiot.

1214
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:42,800
Big glass charge flying into my eye.

1215
00:44:42,800 --> 00:44:43,800
Blast.

1216
00:44:43,800 --> 00:44:47,800
Christ.

1217
00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:50,800
This show sucks.

1218
00:44:50,800 --> 00:44:51,800
Huh?

1219
00:44:51,800 --> 00:44:52,800
This show fucking sucks.

1220
00:44:52,800 --> 00:44:53,800
That's great.

1221
00:44:53,800 --> 00:44:54,800
That's good.

1222
00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:55,800
Hey, how about them Packers?

1223
00:44:55,800 --> 00:45:01,600
Not better than the Bears.

1224
00:45:01,600 --> 00:45:02,600
Die.

1225
00:45:02,600 --> 00:45:03,600
No.

1226
00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:08,560
Yeah, go Packers though.

1227
00:45:08,560 --> 00:45:09,560
Gonna go into San Francisco.

1228
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:12,560
We're gonna fucking win.

1229
00:45:12,560 --> 00:45:14,040
I don't know who would play after that.

1230
00:45:14,040 --> 00:45:16,280
Probably the Lions who we've already beat pretty well.

1231
00:45:16,280 --> 00:45:19,960
They didn't give Jordan love a turkey leg.

1232
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:28,480
I'm not gonna ask about that.

1233
00:45:28,480 --> 00:45:29,680
What's up with airplane peanuts, man?

1234
00:45:29,680 --> 00:45:32,000
How did that become like the go-to food of the airlines?

1235
00:45:32,000 --> 00:45:33,000
Airplane peanuts?

1236
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:34,000
Yeah.

1237
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:35,000
Peanuts?

1238
00:45:35,000 --> 00:45:36,000
Like how did that become the go-to food of the airlines?

1239
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:37,540
Like why peanuts specifically?

1240
00:45:37,540 --> 00:45:40,120
Have you been on an airline like the last, our lifetime?

1241
00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:41,120
They don't serve peanuts.

1242
00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:42,120
What'd they give you?

1243
00:45:42,120 --> 00:45:43,120
Usually pretzels.

1244
00:45:43,120 --> 00:45:44,120
They can't serve peanuts.

1245
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:45,120
They're like a hypo-aridin thing.

1246
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:46,120
I usually sleep so I don't fucking know.

1247
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:47,120
But...

1248
00:45:47,120 --> 00:45:48,120
Interesting.

1249
00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:49,120
You know who else slept on a plane?

1250
00:45:49,120 --> 00:45:54,120
That guy that died on your plane.

1251
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:57,120
That is true.

1252
00:45:57,120 --> 00:45:58,120
That is true.

1253
00:45:58,120 --> 00:46:00,120
He actually took a very long nap.

1254
00:46:00,120 --> 00:46:02,280
The forever nap.

1255
00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:04,680
What was an elderly, elderly man doing in Okinawa?

1256
00:46:04,680 --> 00:46:05,680
I don't know, man.

1257
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:06,800
I saw him.

1258
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:12,440
I remember looking at this guy in the airport thinking that is an old, old man.

1259
00:46:12,440 --> 00:46:14,000
He was wearing the Vietnam veteran hat.

1260
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:16,120
I was like, this dude, why is he here?

1261
00:46:16,120 --> 00:46:17,120
Why is he leaving?

1262
00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:20,280
If you've been here for so long, why are you leaving right now?

1263
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:23,920
And yeah, he actually never did leave, turns out.

1264
00:46:23,920 --> 00:46:24,920
Well, he left.

1265
00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:27,280
He got in the air.

1266
00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:30,280
I don't think you've left until you touch down.

1267
00:46:30,280 --> 00:46:32,360
That's not true.

1268
00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:36,520
What's your place of death if you die in international airspace?

1269
00:46:36,520 --> 00:46:37,520
Mid-Atlantic?

1270
00:46:37,520 --> 00:46:40,520
Or Pacific, I guess.

1271
00:46:40,520 --> 00:46:41,520
Interesting.

1272
00:46:41,520 --> 00:46:44,040
23 seconds until I win this bell, baby.

1273
00:46:44,040 --> 00:46:45,040
I'm proud of you.

1274
00:46:45,040 --> 00:46:46,040
That's a good question, though.

1275
00:46:46,040 --> 00:46:49,320
What are the legalities behind a person dying on a plane?

1276
00:46:49,320 --> 00:46:50,320
I'll tell you one thing.

1277
00:46:50,320 --> 00:46:51,320
You should ask that guy.

1278
00:46:51,320 --> 00:46:52,320
It delays the plane quite a bit.

1279
00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:53,320
I'll tell you that right now.

1280
00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:59,120
And if you're a passenger who is trying to get to his connecting flight, it's pretty

1281
00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:02,160
inconvenient.

1282
00:47:02,160 --> 00:47:05,960
And then they canceled my connecting flight and I had to go get a new one.

1283
00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:08,280
Somebody outbid me.

1284
00:47:08,280 --> 00:47:09,280
At the last second.

1285
00:47:09,280 --> 00:47:10,280
Those fuckers.

1286
00:47:10,280 --> 00:47:14,960
That's not even how much they outbid you by.

1287
00:47:14,960 --> 00:47:15,960
A dollar.

1288
00:47:15,960 --> 00:47:16,960
I'm pissed.

1289
00:47:16,960 --> 00:47:17,960
I'm sorry, buddy.

1290
00:47:17,960 --> 00:47:18,960
Yeah.

1291
00:47:18,960 --> 00:47:19,960
You want a hug?

1292
00:47:19,960 --> 00:47:23,920
No, I want to hunt them down and punch them in the neck.

1293
00:47:23,920 --> 00:47:24,920
Steal their bell?

1294
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:25,920
What?

1295
00:47:25,920 --> 00:47:26,920
Steal their bell?

1296
00:47:26,920 --> 00:47:27,920
Steal their bell.

1297
00:47:27,920 --> 00:47:29,960
Force them to wear a monocle so they won't look stupid.

1298
00:47:29,960 --> 00:47:33,960
Imagine you're holding somebody down and just approach them with a monocle.

1299
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:36,960
Just, no, no, not the monocle.

1300
00:47:36,960 --> 00:47:37,960
Not the monocle.

1301
00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:39,960
Please, please, anything but that.

1302
00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:41,960
Open your eyes.

1303
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:42,960
Now squint.

1304
00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:45,960
Hold it in place.

1305
00:47:45,960 --> 00:47:46,960
No.

1306
00:47:46,960 --> 00:47:50,960
Why do they sound like that?

1307
00:47:50,960 --> 00:47:53,960
I don't know, man.

1308
00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:56,960
That's just what the average bell buyer sounds like in my mind.

1309
00:47:56,960 --> 00:47:58,960
You know what I mean?

1310
00:47:58,960 --> 00:47:59,960
Yeah.

1311
00:47:59,960 --> 00:48:00,960
I'm upset about that.

1312
00:48:00,960 --> 00:48:01,960
I'm going to find that person.

1313
00:48:01,960 --> 00:48:04,960
I'm going to frame them for something bad.

1314
00:48:04,960 --> 00:48:07,960
Put their name on the upsting list.

1315
00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:12,960
That has been the wildest prank of all time.

1316
00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:13,960
You work in the FBI.

1317
00:48:13,960 --> 00:48:14,960
You got the papers.

1318
00:48:14,960 --> 00:48:15,960
They need to be released tomorrow.

1319
00:48:15,960 --> 00:48:16,960
Guys, guys, guys, what if?

1320
00:48:16,960 --> 00:48:19,960
Put this in there.

1321
00:48:19,960 --> 00:48:21,960
What if we got Hank down the hall, right?

1322
00:48:21,960 --> 00:48:23,960
What if we just slid his name in there?

1323
00:48:23,960 --> 00:48:26,960
I feel like where your head's at.

1324
00:48:26,960 --> 00:48:27,960
I like where your head's at.

1325
00:48:27,960 --> 00:48:31,960
Let's go talk to Mike from Forensics and he splices in real quick.

1326
00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:34,960
Hank comes back to us with a thousand DMs calling him a monster.

1327
00:48:34,960 --> 00:48:35,960
He's like, what's going on?

1328
00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:37,960
Oh, we got you.

1329
00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:38,960
Loser.

1330
00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:41,960
We got you good.

1331
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:46,960
What's more, we put you on the same plane with Bill Clinton and Stephen Hawking.

1332
00:48:46,960 --> 00:48:48,960
Now they really know you're up to no good.

1333
00:48:48,960 --> 00:48:50,960
He's like, no.

1334
00:48:50,960 --> 00:48:54,960
The Stephen Hawking thing is so weird because from what's come out, he didn't do anything

1335
00:48:54,960 --> 00:48:55,960
illegal.

1336
00:48:55,960 --> 00:48:57,960
He was really perverted.

1337
00:48:57,960 --> 00:48:58,960
Yeah.

1338
00:48:58,960 --> 00:48:59,960
You know what, man?

1339
00:48:59,960 --> 00:49:02,960
If the midgets are consenting, there's nothing illegal about what he did.

1340
00:49:02,960 --> 00:49:04,960
It's super weird.

1341
00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:07,960
Well, think about what he had in his life.

1342
00:49:07,960 --> 00:49:08,960
He was so smart.

1343
00:49:08,960 --> 00:49:11,960
One of the smartest people that ever lived, right?

1344
00:49:11,960 --> 00:49:12,960
Yep.

1345
00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:14,960
He's wheelchair bound.

1346
00:49:14,960 --> 00:49:17,960
He didn't have much left to learn.

1347
00:49:17,960 --> 00:49:19,960
He didn't have much left to learn.

1348
00:49:19,960 --> 00:49:20,960
There's not a lot he could do.

1349
00:49:20,960 --> 00:49:21,960
You know what I mean?

1350
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:24,960
If you've made all the money and you've learned all the things, what are you going to do?

1351
00:49:24,960 --> 00:49:26,960
You're not going to climb Mount Everest.

1352
00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:28,960
You're not going to go see the world.

1353
00:49:28,960 --> 00:49:31,960
He could wheel mount Everest.

1354
00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:34,960
You probably just start watching really disgusting porn.

1355
00:49:34,960 --> 00:49:36,960
I guess probably just the natural descent.

1356
00:49:36,960 --> 00:49:37,960
Why?

1357
00:49:37,960 --> 00:49:39,960
He's got it all, dude.

1358
00:49:39,960 --> 00:49:40,960
I guess.

1359
00:49:40,960 --> 00:49:41,960
He won.

1360
00:49:41,960 --> 00:49:42,960
He did it.

1361
00:49:42,960 --> 00:49:45,960
What else could?

1362
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:48,960
So yeah, Stephen Hawking, midgets.

1363
00:49:48,960 --> 00:49:49,960
Silly guy.

1364
00:49:49,960 --> 00:49:50,960
Really silly guy.

1365
00:49:50,960 --> 00:49:52,960
Speaking of silly guys, you want to know something interesting?

1366
00:49:52,960 --> 00:49:53,960
Sure.

1367
00:49:53,960 --> 00:49:56,960
I follow a lot because I'm a fucking loser.

1368
00:49:56,960 --> 00:50:02,960
I follow a lot of Instagram pages that are very military, woohoo stuff.

1369
00:50:02,960 --> 00:50:08,960
There's one dude who posts all this super serious stuff about bettering yourself and

1370
00:50:08,960 --> 00:50:09,960
marining and stuff.

1371
00:50:09,960 --> 00:50:13,960
I was like, oh, stuff that's pretty good to know.

1372
00:50:13,960 --> 00:50:15,960
I was looking for more stuff like that to follow.

1373
00:50:15,960 --> 00:50:20,960
I'm like, oh, you know who would have more interesting stuff, more interesting pages

1374
00:50:20,960 --> 00:50:21,960
to follow?

1375
00:50:21,960 --> 00:50:22,960
This guy.

1376
00:50:22,960 --> 00:50:25,960
So I hop on his account and I go to his people he's following.

1377
00:50:25,960 --> 00:50:27,960
He's following like 4,000 people.

1378
00:50:27,960 --> 00:50:33,960
I'm like, oh, dude, this will be good quality information.

1379
00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:36,960
4,000 people, each and every one of them.

1380
00:50:36,960 --> 00:50:38,960
Well, I'm going to assume each and every one of them.

1381
00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:39,960
I scroll through them all.

1382
00:50:39,960 --> 00:50:41,960
I scrolled through the first 100 or so.

1383
00:50:41,960 --> 00:50:43,960
I'm like, holy shit, this is it.

1384
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:45,960
Fucking OnlyFans girls.

1385
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:46,960
Hundreds of them.

1386
00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:47,960
I'm just like, okay.

1387
00:50:47,960 --> 00:50:49,960
Kind of a weird thing to open up to.

1388
00:50:49,960 --> 00:50:54,960
He probably followed a lot of people in order to get his follows up, I'm sure.

1389
00:50:54,960 --> 00:50:55,960
I did that when I had a meme page.

1390
00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:58,960
I would go mass follow people and then unfollow them later.

1391
00:50:58,960 --> 00:51:00,960
I'm sure he just hasn't gotten unfollowed.

1392
00:51:00,960 --> 00:51:02,960
So I scroll more.

1393
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:03,960
Wow.

1394
00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:04,960
I scroll more.

1395
00:51:04,960 --> 00:51:05,960
Wow.

1396
00:51:05,960 --> 00:51:06,960
I scroll more.

1397
00:51:06,960 --> 00:51:07,960
I'm like, wow.

1398
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:08,960
I scroll more.

1399
00:51:08,960 --> 00:51:09,960
I'm like, wow.

1400
00:51:09,960 --> 00:51:10,960
You know what?

1401
00:51:10,960 --> 00:51:13,960
I scroll the top and I just type in the general Marine Corps one.

1402
00:51:13,960 --> 00:51:14,960
He's not following that.

1403
00:51:14,960 --> 00:51:16,960
I'm like, that's a little weird.

1404
00:51:16,960 --> 00:51:18,960
Why would he be?

1405
00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:22,960
I assume if you post Marine Corps content, you follow the Marine Corps.

1406
00:51:22,960 --> 00:51:26,960
So I go and I hop on the same search bar and I search up another fucking.

1407
00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:27,960
Who is this guy?

1408
00:51:27,960 --> 00:51:30,960
I'm not going to say his name.

1409
00:51:30,960 --> 00:51:32,960
He's not hiding it.

1410
00:51:32,960 --> 00:51:38,960
Well, no, but I feel weird flinging a dude into the wind like that.

1411
00:51:38,960 --> 00:51:40,960
He probably listens to this too.

1412
00:51:40,960 --> 00:51:42,960
That'd be bad.

1413
00:51:42,960 --> 00:51:46,960
If he doesn't work at the same place that I do though, he used to.

1414
00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:49,960
Doesn't mean he's going to hear this.

1415
00:51:49,960 --> 00:51:54,960
Well, no, but the guys that I work with could potentially have worked with him and I don't

1416
00:51:54,960 --> 00:51:56,960
want to go flinging a dude's laundry into the wind.

1417
00:51:56,960 --> 00:51:57,960
I suppose.

1418
00:51:57,960 --> 00:52:00,960
Because I tell this to everyone that I meet that need to come with some podcasts right

1419
00:52:00,960 --> 00:52:01,960
away.

1420
00:52:01,960 --> 00:52:02,960
Do you?

1421
00:52:02,960 --> 00:52:03,960
Oh yeah.

1422
00:52:03,960 --> 00:52:04,960
Okay.

1423
00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:08,960
So I'm scrolling through his stuff and it's just models and models and models and models

1424
00:52:08,960 --> 00:52:10,960
and models and models and models.

1425
00:52:10,960 --> 00:52:15,960
I'm looking for the other pages that I know will post similar content.

1426
00:52:15,960 --> 00:52:18,960
I'm like, he doesn't follow any of them.

1427
00:52:18,960 --> 00:52:21,960
This is just like a thousand followers.

1428
00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:26,960
They're just nothing but boobs.

1429
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:27,960
What does this guy's algorithm look like?

1430
00:52:27,960 --> 00:52:31,960
Is it like guns reenlisting boobs?

1431
00:52:31,960 --> 00:52:33,960
Hell yeah.

1432
00:52:33,960 --> 00:52:35,960
That's weird.

1433
00:52:35,960 --> 00:52:36,960
Yeah.

1434
00:52:36,960 --> 00:52:44,960
I had a friend in middle school and a teacher also in middle school.

1435
00:52:44,960 --> 00:52:47,560
He was like, Hey, mister, not going to say names.

1436
00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:48,560
You should follow me on Twitter.

1437
00:52:48,560 --> 00:52:51,680
He was like, okay, what's your, what's your Twitter handle?

1438
00:52:51,680 --> 00:52:54,120
Twitter handle gives it to him.

1439
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:59,000
And one of my other friends was like, Hey man, you realize he can see what you follow if

1440
00:52:59,000 --> 00:53:00,000
he follows you.

1441
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:01,000
He was like, nevermind.

1442
00:53:01,000 --> 00:53:02,000
Don't follow me.

1443
00:53:02,000 --> 00:53:03,000
Don't follow me.

1444
00:53:03,000 --> 00:53:05,960
Cause he was following like hundreds of porn accounts.

1445
00:53:05,960 --> 00:53:06,960
Hell yeah.

1446
00:53:06,960 --> 00:53:08,960
It's like a 13 year old.

1447
00:53:08,960 --> 00:53:09,960
The kid or the teacher?

1448
00:53:09,960 --> 00:53:10,960
The kid.

1449
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:11,960
Oh, okay.

1450
00:53:11,960 --> 00:53:12,960
I thought it was the teacher.

1451
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:13,960
No, no, no.

1452
00:53:13,960 --> 00:53:14,960
It was the kid.

1453
00:53:14,960 --> 00:53:15,960
He did not turn out well.

1454
00:53:15,960 --> 00:53:16,960
Who could have foreseen this?

1455
00:53:16,960 --> 00:53:17,960
Yeah, it's weird.

1456
00:53:17,960 --> 00:53:20,960
I, uh, I found a kid I went to high school with that's not a sex offender now.

1457
00:53:20,960 --> 00:53:21,960
That's pretty cool.

1458
00:53:21,960 --> 00:53:22,960
Okay.

1459
00:53:22,960 --> 00:53:23,960
Yeah.

1460
00:53:23,960 --> 00:53:24,960
That's all.

1461
00:53:24,960 --> 00:53:27,960
That's the end of my story.

1462
00:53:27,960 --> 00:53:28,960
All right.

1463
00:53:28,960 --> 00:53:37,760
Well, you want to, you want to print business cards with like the scan URL to our podcast

1464
00:53:37,760 --> 00:53:39,240
and just start leaving them on cars.

1465
00:53:39,240 --> 00:53:40,240
I think that would work.

1466
00:53:40,240 --> 00:53:41,240
It's worth a shot.

1467
00:53:41,240 --> 00:53:42,240
I suppose like, I don't think they're terribly expensive.

1468
00:53:42,240 --> 00:53:45,240
What could have possibly hurt?

1469
00:53:45,240 --> 00:53:46,240
I guess.

1470
00:53:46,240 --> 00:53:47,240
Right.

1471
00:53:47,240 --> 00:53:48,240
Yeah.

1472
00:53:48,240 --> 00:53:50,440
Well, if you're listening, please tell all your friends, unless you're my mom, let's

1473
00:53:50,440 --> 00:53:53,440
keep that away from my church friends, parents.

1474
00:53:53,440 --> 00:53:54,440
Now do it.

1475
00:53:54,440 --> 00:53:55,440
Okay.

1476
00:53:55,440 --> 00:53:56,440
All right.

1477
00:53:56,440 --> 00:53:57,440
Mom of Donnie.

1478
00:53:57,440 --> 00:53:58,440
I don't remember your name again.

1479
00:53:58,440 --> 00:53:59,440
Um, please send it to everybody.

1480
00:53:59,440 --> 00:54:00,440
He knows.

1481
00:54:00,440 --> 00:54:01,440
All right.

1482
00:54:01,440 --> 00:54:02,440
Or ever knew him.

1483
00:54:02,440 --> 00:54:09,920
We could also do like the thing and then like a little guest inquiries and put the email

1484
00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:15,680
because like if anybody emails, they're probably going to be fucking nuts, which would be awesome.

1485
00:54:15,680 --> 00:54:21,400
It's just going to be thousands and thousands of pictures of the same guy's penis.

1486
00:54:21,400 --> 00:54:23,360
That's what we're going to get.

1487
00:54:23,360 --> 00:54:26,000
And they're going to be like, how did he get his like we'll like report it.

1488
00:54:26,000 --> 00:54:27,000
How did he get your email?

1489
00:54:27,000 --> 00:54:28,000
So what's the situation?

1490
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:31,200
Well, I let you see what happened was.

1491
00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:33,080
I see no downsides.

1492
00:54:33,080 --> 00:54:36,160
We actually inadvertently did ask him to do this.

1493
00:54:36,160 --> 00:54:38,560
We didn't ask for the penis, but we asked for the emails.

1494
00:54:38,560 --> 00:54:42,200
We will need an alternate location though, because I can't invite weirdos to the house.

1495
00:54:42,200 --> 00:54:43,200
Yeah.

1496
00:54:43,200 --> 00:54:44,200
I was doing Meg's house.

1497
00:54:44,200 --> 00:54:45,200
I asked you know what she said.

1498
00:54:45,200 --> 00:54:47,200
Let's do it when they're not there.

1499
00:54:47,200 --> 00:54:48,200
Yeah.

1500
00:54:48,200 --> 00:54:49,200
Perfect.

1501
00:54:49,200 --> 00:54:52,800
Like there are so many just fucking weirdos in this area.

1502
00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:57,360
If we wanted to get like entertaining guests, it would take all of five seconds.

1503
00:54:57,360 --> 00:54:58,480
I don't think it's just this area.

1504
00:54:58,480 --> 00:54:59,800
I think it's just in general.

1505
00:54:59,800 --> 00:55:03,560
Like there might be like a bit more per capita here.

1506
00:55:03,560 --> 00:55:05,160
I think there's just a lot of fucking weirdos.

1507
00:55:05,160 --> 00:55:06,160
100% dude.

1508
00:55:06,160 --> 00:55:07,160
Yeah.

1509
00:55:07,160 --> 00:55:09,880
Like how hard do you think it would be?

1510
00:55:09,880 --> 00:55:12,280
Like, okay, you know what?

1511
00:55:12,280 --> 00:55:14,160
We need to like, let's find a weirdo.

1512
00:55:14,160 --> 00:55:15,160
What type of weirdo are we looking for?

1513
00:55:15,160 --> 00:55:20,120
We looking for like a dude who fucks a pillow or like a dude who like sleeps under a bridge.

1514
00:55:20,120 --> 00:55:21,720
Let's start with that general.

1515
00:55:21,720 --> 00:55:22,720
Under a bridge.

1516
00:55:22,720 --> 00:55:24,760
You're going to have way more things to talk about, not just Reddit.

1517
00:55:24,760 --> 00:55:25,760
Okay.

1518
00:55:25,760 --> 00:55:26,760
I agree.

1519
00:55:26,760 --> 00:55:27,760
I agree.

1520
00:55:27,760 --> 00:55:28,760
I like where we're going with this.

1521
00:55:28,760 --> 00:55:30,480
There is like a homeless camp over here.

1522
00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:31,720
They live in a tunnel.

1523
00:55:31,720 --> 00:55:32,720
Oh dude.

1524
00:55:32,720 --> 00:55:37,080
Whenever I go drive my car into it, I'll go ask him.

1525
00:55:37,080 --> 00:55:40,720
I'm not going to say that.

1526
00:55:40,720 --> 00:55:41,720
Yeah.

1527
00:55:41,720 --> 00:55:44,800
I'd be down for interviewing homeless people, but we'd need to do it like in the park or

1528
00:55:44,800 --> 00:55:48,000
something because I'm not bringing homeless people into my house.

1529
00:55:48,000 --> 00:55:50,640
Are we being, are we going to be sympathetic towards their, their homelessness or are we

1530
00:55:50,640 --> 00:55:51,640
going to be like cracking jokes?

1531
00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:53,640
It's pretty fucking mean to him.

1532
00:55:53,640 --> 00:55:56,480
He's like, you know, it all fell apart when my wife died.

1533
00:55:56,480 --> 00:55:58,640
He's like, ah, your wife died.

1534
00:55:58,640 --> 00:55:59,640
That's not funny.

1535
00:55:59,640 --> 00:56:00,640
Lame.

1536
00:56:00,640 --> 00:56:01,640
That's not funny.

1537
00:56:01,640 --> 00:56:02,640
Okay.

1538
00:56:02,640 --> 00:56:03,640
It's like, yeah, man.

1539
00:56:03,640 --> 00:56:04,640
Fucking heroin addiction destroyed my life.

1540
00:56:04,640 --> 00:56:05,640
I was so successful.

1541
00:56:05,640 --> 00:56:06,640
My children.

1542
00:56:06,640 --> 00:56:07,640
My children is on me.

1543
00:56:07,640 --> 00:56:08,640
Yeah.

1544
00:56:08,640 --> 00:56:09,640
Yeah.

1545
00:56:09,640 --> 00:56:10,640
Yeah.

1546
00:56:10,640 --> 00:56:11,640
Like, you know that you said it sounds sad.

1547
00:56:11,640 --> 00:56:12,640
Yeah.

1548
00:56:12,640 --> 00:56:14,400
Like we can be nice to him.

1549
00:56:14,400 --> 00:56:15,400
That's not entertaining.

1550
00:56:15,400 --> 00:56:16,400
Yeah.

1551
00:56:16,400 --> 00:56:18,760
The heroin took my room, my whole life.

1552
00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:22,320
Soft white underbelly has got like millions of followers.

1553
00:56:22,320 --> 00:56:23,320
Are you, he does.

1554
00:56:23,320 --> 00:56:27,000
Do you ever like watch soft white underbelly and you're like, wow, that was pretty cool.

1555
00:56:27,000 --> 00:56:28,800
Like, no, I watched soft white underbelly.

1556
00:56:28,800 --> 00:56:31,120
I'm like, oh, racists do have feelings.

1557
00:56:31,120 --> 00:56:32,120
Nate.

1558
00:56:32,120 --> 00:56:34,160
It's still entertaining though.

1559
00:56:34,160 --> 00:56:35,160
You watch it, don't you?

1560
00:56:35,160 --> 00:56:36,160
I've watched one.

1561
00:56:36,160 --> 00:56:37,160
It sucked.

1562
00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:40,160
Cause you just don't like good content.

1563
00:56:40,160 --> 00:56:42,680
Yeah, maybe.

1564
00:56:42,680 --> 00:56:46,000
You just like guys that follow titty girls.

1565
00:56:46,000 --> 00:56:47,000
That's what you like.

1566
00:56:47,000 --> 00:56:48,000
Yeah.

1567
00:56:48,000 --> 00:56:49,000
That was like, that was like kind of disgruntling.

1568
00:56:49,000 --> 00:56:50,000
I'm not going to lie.

1569
00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:54,400
Like dude, I respect his now just.

1570
00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:55,400
I think like.

1571
00:56:55,400 --> 00:56:56,400
Tons of them.

1572
00:56:56,400 --> 00:56:57,400
Like, does he not know?

1573
00:56:57,400 --> 00:56:58,400
You should email him.

1574
00:56:58,400 --> 00:57:03,120
Like, should I like, like, seriously, this is like, he's a fairly professional account.

1575
00:57:03,120 --> 00:57:05,240
It's got his whole name on there and stuff like that.

1576
00:57:05,240 --> 00:57:08,280
Like it's not illegal to like naked women.

1577
00:57:08,280 --> 00:57:09,280
No, I know.

1578
00:57:09,280 --> 00:57:12,680
But like, look, if I was presenting myself in a professional manner, I would like make

1579
00:57:12,680 --> 00:57:14,000
a separate account, dude.

1580
00:57:14,000 --> 00:57:15,480
Do you do what you need to do?

1581
00:57:15,480 --> 00:57:17,720
But like, fuck man, make a spam.

1582
00:57:17,720 --> 00:57:19,960
He probably doesn't give a shit.

1583
00:57:19,960 --> 00:57:25,560
Maybe dude, but like, I don't, should I tell him like, Hey, you know, we can see that shit,

1584
00:57:25,560 --> 00:57:26,600
right bro?

1585
00:57:26,600 --> 00:57:27,600
I'm sure he knows.

1586
00:57:27,600 --> 00:57:28,600
Is he stupid?

1587
00:57:28,600 --> 00:57:29,600
I don't think so.

1588
00:57:29,600 --> 00:57:31,320
He's just like a fucking big idiot.

1589
00:57:31,320 --> 00:57:32,520
I don't fucking think so.

1590
00:57:32,520 --> 00:57:35,840
He's like, he gives off major boomer vibes though, so like he might not know.

1591
00:57:35,840 --> 00:57:36,840
Is he like 50?

1592
00:57:36,840 --> 00:57:37,840
He's pretty fucking old.

1593
00:57:37,840 --> 00:57:38,840
You can message him.

1594
00:57:38,840 --> 00:57:40,880
I do it from a different account though.

1595
00:57:40,880 --> 00:57:44,320
I'm assuming if he's old and in the Marine Corps, he's probably pretty high up.

1596
00:57:44,320 --> 00:57:45,320
Yeah.

1597
00:57:45,320 --> 00:57:46,320
Yeah.

1598
00:57:46,320 --> 00:57:47,320
That's an accurate statement.

1599
00:57:47,320 --> 00:57:48,320
What the fuck?

1600
00:57:48,320 --> 00:57:49,320
Yeah, right, dude?

1601
00:57:49,320 --> 00:57:52,320
You know what we should do?

1602
00:57:52,320 --> 00:57:56,960
We should find him and throw those tiny tomatoes at him.

1603
00:57:56,960 --> 00:58:05,520
Like sir, sir, sir.

1604
00:58:05,520 --> 00:58:09,960
If I throw tomatoes at homeless people from the safety of my yard, can they attack me?

1605
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:10,960
Yeah.

1606
00:58:10,960 --> 00:58:14,400
What if I have Kim with me and she barks loud?

1607
00:58:14,400 --> 00:58:15,400
They can attack you.

1608
00:58:15,400 --> 00:58:16,400
They might.

1609
00:58:16,400 --> 00:58:17,400
They can't attack you safely.

1610
00:58:17,400 --> 00:58:18,400
Here's the question though.

1611
00:58:18,400 --> 00:58:24,120
Would Kim save you or would Kim attack the homeless person and just be on a bloodlust

1612
00:58:24,120 --> 00:58:25,120
and continue on to you?

1613
00:58:25,120 --> 00:58:27,080
No, Kim's pretty loyal.

1614
00:58:27,080 --> 00:58:32,000
Kim has never demonstrated any aggressive tendencies towards me or Molly.

1615
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:34,520
She tries to kill every person that walks by our house.

1616
00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:39,440
Another thing being, I've never witnessed a person being molested by a dog in person,

1617
00:58:39,440 --> 00:58:42,420
but I got to assume blood sprays quite a bit.

1618
00:58:42,420 --> 00:58:47,000
Do you want a homeless person blood showering on you?

1619
00:58:47,000 --> 00:58:49,520
If I get aged, the Marine Corps is going to pay me.

1620
00:58:49,520 --> 00:58:51,240
They're going to medically retire me.

1621
00:58:51,240 --> 00:58:55,000
Is that 100% disability?

1622
00:58:55,000 --> 00:59:00,240
I assume so.

1623
00:59:00,240 --> 00:59:02,080
A wise man once told me.

1624
00:59:02,080 --> 00:59:06,400
You see a real scary dog and a big red guy standing in the yard.

1625
00:59:06,400 --> 00:59:10,440
He just feels like he's been in the head with a rotten tomato.

1626
00:59:10,440 --> 00:59:12,840
You attack him?

1627
00:59:12,840 --> 00:59:17,880
If you're like a five foot six homeless man and you see me chuck a potato at you.

1628
00:59:17,880 --> 00:59:21,560
If I'm homeless, I assume I don't have a whole lot to lose.

1629
00:59:21,560 --> 00:59:22,560
That's true too.

1630
00:59:22,560 --> 00:59:24,560
And they may be on fentanyl.

1631
00:59:24,560 --> 00:59:25,560
I mean, man,

1632
00:59:25,560 --> 00:59:28,880
yeah, store for another time.

1633
00:59:28,880 --> 00:59:31,440
I suppose we'll test it this weekend.

1634
00:59:31,440 --> 00:59:34,440
I'll let you know.

1635
00:59:34,440 --> 00:59:35,440
Yeah.

1636
00:59:35,440 --> 00:59:36,440
Thanks guys.

1637
00:59:36,440 --> 00:59:57,060
We're special people.