Welcome back to the party's over.
I'm your host Kyle Donaghy.
Again, my co-host, as always, Jonathan Skinny Dog Stokie.
How are you, John?
I'm good.
How are you?
I'm doing pretty good.
Actually, you know what?
No, I'm doing fantastic.
Let me tell you why.
Okay.
Let me tell you why.
Just last Friday, I had a life-changing interaction with a man by the name of Joe.
Now- Is he homeless?
He's not homeless.
No, he is the opposite of homeless.
I think he owns like nine homes because he's awesome like that.
But prior to meeting Joe, I'd heard quite a bit about him.
People hyped him up to be just all that.
You know what I mean?
You're familiar with Chuck Norris jokes?
Yeah.
Is this Joe, like a friend of a friend?
How do you know him?
Okay.
Yeah.
He's a guy, some guys I work with used to know.
Okay.
I've been hearing about Joe for a while now.
I don't think I ever really believed the hype.
I'd never met Joe prior to this.
Every now and then, I would be somewhere and people are like, oh, dude, Joe is there.
Did you see Joe?
I'm like, I don't, maybe.
I don't know.
I didn't know who I was looking for.
So Friday was the first time I actually met Joe.
And dude, it was a life-changing experience.
Imagine meeting the pinnacle dude, right?
You know what I mean?
The top of the food chain, the alpha male.
And not like alpha male like Andrew Tate, douchebag alpha male.
No.
Like good guy.
Like the type of guy you want to be around alpha male, man.
And like, it was like looking at all that you could be.
And then he walks away and you're looking in the mirror and you see you.
You know what I mean?
Like it just, it changed the way that I'm looking at life.
Cause I'm thinking to myself, man, why am I not Joe it up?
Why don't I, why don't I go for Joe?
You know what I mean?
Go for Joe.
Like, why would I?
Just to clarify that is not an endorsement of Joe, but Joe Biden.
No, no, Joe is not Joe Biden.
However, we're going to, we're going to maintain Joe's anonymy so he doesn't know I'm up here
drooling on him.
Is his name not actually Joe?
No, his name is actually Joe.
But let's not get into specifics.
Or is it, or is it actually Joe?
We don't know.
But yeah, a lot of Joe's in the world.
Yes.
Okay.
So I don't know.
Now I'm second guessing myself like, oh shit, should I give him a fake name?
There's a lot of Joe's I don't think they'll be able to find this guy.
Anyway, it's the guy.
Shit.
The new phrase is bet on shit, right?
Okay.
I think we can, I think we can roll Joe.
I don't know.
I think I was thinking it's an anonymous enough name.
Now I'm doubting myself.
It's definitely an anonymous enough name.
So yeah, I don't know, man.
Just like I'm looking at the dude, the guy, just like, you know, they say like, you're
not him.
Joe's him.
He is him.
He's the him in question.
I don't know, man.
It got me thinking to myself like, why am I not waking up every day, putting it all on
the line, just trying to go for Joe?
So that's what I'm all about now is going over Joe.
Interesting.
Yeah.
So I think the closest I've met to that guy, you remember Johnson from the Mew?
Very square shaped Johnson with a mustache and blonde hair?
That's the guy.
Yeah.
I think that's the closest I know to Joe.
Oh, no, no, no.
I want to say Joe would blow Johnson out of the water, but he wouldn't, man.
He would just like give Johnson a firm handshake and smile at him.
How so?
What do you mean?
How would he blow him out of the water?
Johnson's a cool motherfucker.
I love Johnson.
But yeah, man, he's just, I don't know, the smile.
You ever heard that saying, a smile that lights up a room?
I was standing outside when I met Joe and rest assured, brother, the temperature went
up like at least eight degrees just from all the light that was reflecting off his glorious,
glorious white teeth.
Sounds like you're kind of gay for Joe, Donnie.
Don't be absurd.
Sounds like you want Joe.
It'll be ridiculous.
Not.
Nope.
I think you are.
Pretty sure you're wrong.
It's okay.
No, it's not a bad thing.
Even if it wasn't a bad thing.
We're just out of your state in fact.
Nope.
Donnie, gay for Joe.
Nope.
2024.
Not the case.
Anyways, let's talk about something besides this now.
Interesting.
But understand that that outlook on life will be altering my perspective from now on.
So the Donnie you think you know, he's dead.
He's been replaced by Donnie 2.0.
The same Donnie, but has a crush on a guy.
Yeah.
Yep.
That's actually exactly accurate.
All right.
Good for you.
Yep.
What do we got topics for today other than Tolkien finally shut us down?
That was a hard one for me.
I've really been, I've been looking forward to this one for a while.
You know, he's really strung us along, strung us along.
Like what he did when he dumped us the day before senior prom.
That's pretty much what happened.
Yeah.
I haven't done my job in the last month because I've just been doing mental gymnastics to
prepare for Tolkien fan.
And now this?
The other day I woke up and I did 6,000 burpees.
Every time I stood up, I said Tolkien fan 2759 in between each one.
So like that should put the perspective of how hype I am for Tolkien fan 2759.
And then what did he do?
He broke up with us over text.
Yeah.
I actually did the entirety of a master's course in geopolitical affairs from Harvard
in the last three weeks to prepare for Tolkien fan.
I was so ready.
For nothing.
Just to dig into life and its various things with Tolkien fan.
And this is what he did to us.
He fucked up Tolkien.
Yep.
What did he say?
He's going to regret it.
You wonder what he said to us?
Sorry.
Not interested.
Tolkien fan.
Boo.
First of all, fucking unoriginal.
Yeah.
Could have at least like called us losers or something.
You fucking dweeb.
It was the important question though.
Do you think he listened to the podcast before he broke up with us?
No.
He couldn't find it even if he tried.
I sent him the link.
I'm sure he still didn't listen.
He saw the Tower of Beercanis and he was like, no.
Not for me.
But then he went back to reviewing feminist literature online and translating it into foreign
languages.
Foreign languages?
What?
Yeah.
That's one of those things.
He translates literature into foreign languages.
Why?
I don't know.
We could have asked him that, but now we'll never know.
Tolkien fan, if you ever listen to this, I want you to know of a little software called
Google Translate.
I don't think you can really do that.
Google Translate is fairly flawed.
You know what I mean?
There's better translation software.
Well, I stand corrected.
Google.
Also, I think most things that are published are translated.
By who you ask?
By guys like, or they, them, like Tolkien fan.
Okay.
Yeah.
That's weird, Tolkien.
Why is he doing that?
Is that part of the We Are Outcast subreddit with two members?
Tolkien fan.
Should we join?
Let's join.
I think so.
But they don't, normal drivers for things, like the things that might drive you and me,
money, power, pursuit of happiness.
No, that's not what Tolkien's about.
Tolkien fan, 2759.
That's what he's about right here.
He's a human being of class.
He's driven by the knowledge that others may succeed, even if it means he can't be the
most successful.
He loves the idea of little Zimbabwean boys reading Jane Austen.
And I think that's a beautiful thing.
Don't we all?
This is going to be our fucking our episode art.
Okay.
Sounds good.
This art made by Tolkien fan.
I doubt it.
He doesn't seem very original.
He just seems to have opinions.
Okay.
Well, I think those opinions are pretty original.
Yeah.
I mean, the one that we found that was his actual opinion was very original.
I will agree with that.
Very original.
But yeah, it's fucking out there.
This is like, it's like the end of an era.
You know what I mean?
We've been chasing Tolkien fan for so he's, he's our movie dick.
He's our white whale and we'll never get there now.
He's going to regret it.
He will one day.
One day he'll come crawling into our DMS begging for an opportunity to speak to the world.
I'd like to think that Tolkien fans like a 90 year old woman.
He definitely is.
What is this talk?
I promise hon.
I can make the coffee strong enough to get us to the wine.
I don't know what that means.
Is this favorite wine from the nickel Creek song holding pattern.
Tolkien fan is definitely an old, old woman.
We may have built up talking fan to be something in our minds that they are not in actuality.
That is a slight possibility.
I don't know what we built Tolkien fan up to in our minds.
You know, the guy from South Park who's like sitting in his chair on his computer.
Nope.
I don't really want South Park much.
It's like the, the losers thing.
You don't talk about, oh yeah, that's what I'm picturing in my head.
We're talking about talking fan like the pimply fat guy.
Yeah.
I assume that what do you read his opinions?
Well, potentially hers now that we are opening our eyes prospect that told fans and old woman
this community is about writing and translating or reading novels and books, watching movies
and TV shows, drawings, some it's an MI it's a my ex of all art that I hope will give birth
to new ideas and unconventional thoughts.
Well, you know what motherfucker?
I'm pretty sure Tolkien fan created this by the way.
Yeah.
We joined your stupid fucking group.
Talk to us.
Create a post.
You want to just start shitpost.
Just, just I'm going to, I'm going to program a bot to just dump hundreds of thousands of
pictures of like a fat guy with his shirt off in this every day, the same picture.
Do you have your own Reddit?
Like a personal?
Uh, I used to, I don't know if I still do.
We just need to go through and make like 600 and just four of them rededicated and farm
go, go, go, go, ant, ant, ant, ant, ant, ant, ants, just really obscure shit.
We got to find like cultural niches in like foreign countries, like fucking y'all hos
like Russian nesting dolls.
You do now.
God damn.
Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, Turkish candy or educated.
We are outcasts.
If I had the knowledge, I would do it.
You don't know any niche international fandoms?
Well, I could figure that out.
I don't think I could figure out how to program a computer
to spam this particular Reddit with it.
If I knew how to program bots, this world
would be a catastrophic place.
I think before too long, we'll be able to just have AI program
bots for us, right?
I'm sure it's a thing now.
Realistically, I could probably just ask ChappieGP to do it,
but I don't want to do that.
That sounds like more work than I would put in,
which should tell you why the bot thing will never happen.
If I'm not willing to go ask an AI to make the code
to make spam bots.
That checks out.
OK, you got an army of spam bots.
What are they doing?
What's the first thing they're doing?
Whatever they can do to devalue Eric Church tickets.
That's a good one.
Very decentralized command.
Just make them worth less.
Make them worth fucking nothing.
Drive the prices down.
I don't care what you have to do.
Accus them of assault or fucking battery.
I don't care.
Just lower the prices.
His time is done.
Wow, man.
I was thinking like.
I don't care if he lets Macklemore open for him.
I was thinking like you just, I don't know,
tweet that he wasn't very good live.
And then you're like, no, no, no.
We're going to frame him.
We're going to Harvey Weinstein his ass.
Like, wow, dude.
That was.
Yeah, home don't play.
OK?
Yeah.
I didn't raise no bitch.
That was actually super intense.
Thank you.
All right.
I was just going to go on like.
Aside from that, I think I would just.
How many bots are we talking?
Like 10 or like 10 million.
10 million.
You have an army.
After I devalue Eric Church to nothing.
Yeah.
Get his shows canceled, obviously.
Little weird.
No room to come back.
Yeah.
I think I would just have them dedicate themselves
to making the world a better place.
Just uplifting people on the internet,
making them feel better.
Making the internet a safe space
because it's not right now.
I was just going to have him like.
And obviously step one of that is getting rid of that church.
He is the root of all evil.
I was just going to have him like comment balls
on every Instagram post ever.
That'd be good too.
And you're like, no, no, no, no.
Wow, dude.
That was super intense.
You asked me a question.
I answered it.
Yeah.
You want for me.
I don't know.
I want you to not frame people for crimes, I guess.
People.
One day we're going to get to the bottom of where
the Eric Church hate came from.
I don't even know.
You just woke up one day and you're like, this guy.
Fucking sucks.
I think I disliked Eric Church before I even
liked country music.
Because I didn't like country music until I was like 19.
I was avidly against country music in high school.
I think I like country music because I liked Eric Church.
That's pretend.
I heard Eric Church.
I was like, hey, this guy is pretty good.
I could beat my wife.
That'd be all right.
I'd never.
That's the Eric Church vibe, man.
In high school, I disliked Eric Church.
Not because he was country, just because I didn't like him.
I did also dislike country because I
thought all country music was just like fucking Blake Shelton.
The Eric Church vibe, man, is playing quarterback
in high school, not getting any college offers whatsoever,
and telling everyone you could have thrown a football over
the mountains.
That's the Eric Church vibe.
Have you seen Eric Church without sunglasses?
Is he terrifying?
I have a couple times.
It's not good.
It was many, many years ago.
So I assume he's aged.
Is he a terrifying man?
Deep, deep eye bags?
It's just not something you want to look at.
He looks like a guy.
Don't get me wrong.
I see why the sunglasses are good for his image.
I do.
But like, yeah.
If I saw that coming at me, I'm calling the police.
No fucking questions asked.
He kind of looks like an owl.
But I don't think that's a bad thing.
You know what I mean?
What is that?
It's a man who looks kind of like an owl.
And that's not a, imagine, what should he look like, an owl?
Or I don't know, an acorn.
What do you mean, an acorn?
I imagine a human being.
Is that what an acorn looks like?
No, no.
He looks like an owl.
There are worse things that he could look like.
He could look like an acorn.
I don't.
I need an example.
Who looks like an acorn?
Imagine just an ugly, ugly acorn-faced man.
That's something I would rather look like an owl
than an acorn.
You know?
That's just me.
Or like, at least he's not horrifically obese.
OK.
What's up with that?
Yeah, I'm not sure.
Kind of got a whole Nirvana thing going on.
At least he's not fucking naked.
Yeah, that was my first thought.
You know what kind of blows my mind when I think about it?
You can see that little child's wiener.
Yeah, that's fucked up, dude.
I think that kid sued the record company.
Yeah, I'm sure he did.
But who allowed that to happen?
Dude, it was the 90s.
They didn't give a shit about anything back then.
They were like, yes.
You can fucking do whatever you want it.
They still put it on t-shirts.
Do they edit the wiener off of the t-shirts?
I don't know.
I don't want to be the guy walking around town
with a baby wiener on my shirt.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's fair.
I'm not super choosy about wardrobe,
but if I had a shirt with a baby wiener on it
and a shirt without, I would choose the shirt
without every day of the week.
Yeah.
Like, I'm wearing a-
I feel the same way.
I'm wearing a neon construction worker shirt right now.
I'm not a construction worker.
I've never been a construction worker.
I saw this shirt, and I was like, hey, that'll fit me.
And it's $5.
So I bought a bunch of them.
Did you buy that at Uncle Dina?
No, I think I got it at Tower General.
Wrangler.
Yeah.
But what possesses a person to put that on an album
cover or a t-shirt or a record that you
would frame in your house?
I think more than putting it on the album,
I am concerned about them throwing a fucking baby
in a pool.
Well, no, that happens all the time.
On purpose?
How else are they going to learn to swim?
You teach them how to swim when they're larger?
What's going to happen when they fall in the pool before that?
You watch your kids?
You're asking a little much there, bud.
I understand babies if trained.
Like, babies have that instinct, and then they lose it,
and then you have to teach them to swim.
I feel like Nirvana did not do their due diligence
and make sure that that baby had that instinct.
They just were like, oh, this would be fucking cool.
Plop.
Well, look at that little baby.
Look at the joy in his little eyes
as he swims for that dollar bill on a fish hook.
Bum-da-dum.
Like, bum-da-dum.
Um, do you think that was actually part of the picture,
or did they edit that in?
I really hope it was not part of the picture.
I hope it was edited.
Imagine they're like, all right, there's
a fish hook in there somewhere.
Chuck the baby in.
And somebody's sitting there like,
Kurt, Kurt, are you sure this is a good idea?
Trust me, ma'am.
A 25-year-old who's clearly on drugs, you can trust me.
I'm going to die soon.
Do what I say.
Just like, look at my wife.
Look at how manipulative and abusive she is.
What's that album called?
Never mind.
I don't know.
I'm actually not crazy about Nirvana.
Really?
They're a banging band, but that's just not my cup of tea.
I like the Foo Fighters more than I like Nirvana,
which is a controversial opinion in the world of post-Grunge
music.
Who the hell is Kirk Weddle?
Who's the guy that took the picture?
I would say, like, grunge music-wise,
my favorite by miles, Alice in Chains.
Interesting.
Yeah, they're fantastic.
I also a big Soundgarden fan, Chris Cornell.
He really couldn't miss in any capacity.
RIP.
RIP Jimmy Buffett.
Facts.
RIP Jimmy Buffett.
What do we?
I was trying to figure out why the fuck that picture exists,
and I gave up, because it would be
a lot of reading and a lot of silence.
Is Chris Weddle?
Chris Weddle's the guy that took the picture.
He's not the kid.
He's the big guy for taking pictures of people underwater.
I don't know.
Is that kind of his niche?
Well, I think all the other ones are just, I don't know,
maybe it is.
I don't know.
I guess if I was going to take a picture of a child underwater,
I would want the underwater photographer.
That's fair.
Underwater photography is not that hard.
You just need the equipment, and you're just taking pictures.
Well.
Are we going to make Meg come on the podcast?
What the fuck is Meg going to talk about?
Stuff.
Meg is the least interesting human being I've ever met in my life.
Not Meg's coming on.
OK.
For sure.
Is she going to sit here in silence to go, well?
For the entire show.
Perhaps.
And that's a risk you're willing to take?
No.
We already have long, horrible, awkward silences, as is.
Not with Meg, we don't.
Oh, yeah.
There wouldn't be any silences because we're all going to be
like, Meg, you're a piece of shit.
We all hate you.
And she's going to be like, I know.
It was going to keep on digging into her.
And everyone's going to think we're a horrible, horrible.
It's going to be fucking awesome.
Well, yeah, I'll enjoy it.
But we're just going to put off a bad vibe.
No, we're definitely going to have Meg on, dude.
Meg, if you're listening to this, get ready.
Prepare your topics.
20 years later, when we've made it,
people are going to pull out this one episode,
and they're going to be like, remember that time
they bullied this poor girl?
We'll look at Meg now.
We bought her a house.
And she'll be like, hey, yeah, they asked me.
And yeah, I said yes.
And we're just going to be the villainous villains, whoever
did villain.
Or we could just have a good conversation with her.
It's Meg, dude.
There's no good conversation for Meg.
That's not true.
Meg's a great person.
When's the last time you had a good conversation with Meg?
Like three days ago on Teams.
OK, well, I stand corrected.
Idiot.
Neh, neh, neh.
Yeah.
Didn't think of that, did you?
No.
Darn it.
My legs fucking hurt.
Yeah, yeah.
Pretty intense leg day there?
Yeah, it's painful, man.
Tell me all about it in graphic detail.
I did a bunch of squats and then a bunch of other stuff.
That was super fucking lame.
You could have added a little spice to it.
Like what?
I don't know.
You could have made it sound cool, though.
Like, oh, as I was going up for my ninth rep on 375 pounds,
a fucking small man came up and threw salt in my eyes.
And I had to weather through that pain.
What the fuck do you mean I could have thrown something
in there?
That was actually a good story.
That was a good story.
But it was a lie.
Every good story is a lie.
No one's ever had an interesting time ever.
I don't know if I'd say every good story is a lie.
Like, every story Eric Church tells is a lie.
I can believe that.
That makes sense.
But like, every story?
Name a single story that's true.
Mm.
Mm-hmm.
I mean, like, the most recent story I heard
is about a guy named Joe, and that was obviously a lie.
So.
Actually, that story was pure truth, and it changed my life.
I can still see his teeth glistening in the sunlight.
I can see your pupils dilating just thinking about Joe.
Are they actually?
Yes.
That's weird.
OK, I did lean back in my chair and look right into the light,
so that could be a factor.
I think you just think he's cute.
He is super cute.
Interesting.
Did your wife know about this?
Oh, yeah, I told her all about him.
I just want to be his best friend, you know?
That's not a whole lot to ask.
I just.
Where did you meet him?
At the dentist office.
Fucking why?
Is this like Kyle from Futema Medical?
Kind of, because I think of Kyle and imagine the opposite of that.
A sad, sad little man?
Kyle from Futema Medical is all that is man.
6'4", glistening white teeth.
Can't stress that enough, glistening white teeth.
Flowing hair, body of a Greek god.
Sus.
Swaggering confidence for days.
Sus.
Suspicious.
You just don't act like I'm saying anything about Joe
that you haven't said about Kyle.
Oh, from Futema Medical.
No, not Racecar Kyle.
I love Racecar Kyle, too.
Yeah, Racecar Kyle's a great guy.
He performed my wedding stuff.
Yeah, his door, his dad's door is on my wall.
Someday we will figure out how to fucking have video
and they will see the door.
Today is not that day.
Well, it's much like PND Rock said before he died.
Somehow, someway, we're going to make it out of the hood someday.
Who the fuck is PND Rock?
He's a man who's dead.
The good news is somehow, someway, he did briefly
made out of the hood before he was murdered.
He made a lot of money.
Did he not continue to live in the hood?
I assume not.
If I made a bunch of money, I would not live in the hood.
I would actually move directly to the hood
if I made a lot of money.
I won $12 on a Powerball.
How was that?
Three days ago.
I was at the gas station the other day,
and there was a guy there who was redeeming his three scratch
off tickets for $8.
And it took him 45 minutes or so.
I hate that shit.
You got like a fucking old guy with a walker scratching.
There is one register.
Fucking move.
Yeah, that shit pisses me off.
I was actually at the gas station the other day,
the one right down from your house.
And Eric Church happened to be there at the same time,
and he was begging me to come on the podcast.
And I punched him right in the nose.
And then I went up to the register
after the guy went through.
And it was this, I go to that gas station all the time.
And the chicken.
The one closer to your house or further from your house?
It's the Circle K. That's right past the Circle K.
That's next to my house.
So there's two Circle Ks across the street.
So it's the one further from the house.
Yeah.
It was the one that we went to.
There was the cashier.
I see her every day.
She looks terrifying.
She's a fairly large and appears to be muscular woman
with face tattoos.
Every time she sees me, she just looks horrified.
Like the customer before me comes through,
she's all cool.
And then I look at the register, she goes, huh?
Shit's her pants.
I have been nothing but polite to you.
Will your child enjoy this?
Is she old enough to color a magnet?
She would destroy that in a matter of seconds.
Wired about it.
Well, fuck.
Good luck.
It's going to be your mess to clean up, I guess.
I don't really care.
At least it's not something that explodes.
Like if you got me that kinetic sand stuff, I would be.
The thing is, I don't know what's
the fuck to buy a two-year-old.
I have the same problem with my nieces and nephews.
Like I don't know what to get you.
Would I buy you like a fucking a cookie?
I went to the Dollar Tree and I found
it a cool stuffed animal.
I was like, ah, this thing's.
I thought about stuffed animals.
This thing's squishy.
I was like, well, her mother is an art person.
So maybe she would like to art things with magnets and stuff.
Ironically, the.
And it kind of looks like an animal.
What?
I got some little necklace thingies
to hang on the ceiling for a decoration.
And she appreciated those much more than any gift
she's received.
Interesting.
So.
Kids are weird like that.
You buy them a fucking intricate playset
and they're like, actually, I'd like this fucking spoon.
Dude, you could drop.
I found under the stove.
I don't understand, right?
Realistically, between myself, my wife,
and her various family members, an easy $500
has been dropped on birthdays and Christmas.
Sure.
You know what the kid wants?
A bag of fucking cheese, man.
We gave her a bag of shredded cheddar.
She would be the happiest baby on this planet.
Hell, yeah, brother.
But we're out here like, OK, and this
is like an intricate 300 piece wooden place.
Buy her the fucking mozzarella.
It's what we know she wants.
Why are we not getting it to her?
It's like, well, that's not a memorable gift.
Fuck yeah.
You're going to remember the birthday
when you got 8 pounds of cheese.
You're going to remember that for the rest of your life.
Cheese is expensive these days too, man.
That'd be a good gift.
Not just for her, but for you guys.
You don't even need a lot of it.
Does she eat the cheese?
Yeah.
She's fucking pounding that shit.
Hell, yeah, brother.
$3 with the cheese would make her weak.
Sure, sure.
But now.
I do be fucking with cheese.
Are you doing the carnivore diet with me?
No, I'm doing an actual gain weight diet.
Fucking wiener.
Maybe someday when I feel that I'm actually in good shape,
then I'll try the carnivore diet.
But right now, I'm like, OK, I need to actually get in shape.
I'm tired of being a skinny little fuck.
Boo.
Skinny little fucks forever.
No, no, that's not something I can condone.
Why not?
Because I'm trying to be like Joe, dude.
Is Joe big?
Joe's massive.
He works at a fucking dental clinic?
No, no.
He just used it at the dentist with me.
Probably getting his pearly whites worked on.
I imagine it takes an entire team,
like a NASCAR pit crew in there.
He probably goes to the dentist's office,
and or not like, not the dentist's office.
He goes out to eat.
Like, I guys ate corn.
I got stuff between my teeth.
And they just hop out of there, emerge
in their little flame retardant suits.
And they just, choo choo, choo choo choo choo.
Hey, what was the website you were
using to make those fucking AI things the other day?
The pictures.
Bing.
Bing has an AI?
Yeah, it's actually really good.
It's free?
Yeah.
Microsoft Bing and ChatGPT?
Bing AI.
I would just type that in.
Yeah, it worked really well.
You do have a limit.
I think it's like 20 straight out the gate.
So I burned through 15 of them immediately.
It was just goofiness, obviously.
Sure, sure.
I'm going to go pee.
Can you pull up the right one?
Yep.
Boom.
Back.
The party is still over.
What are you searching, bud?
I'm so sorry.
What are you searching, my friend, my amigo, my guy,
my dude?
I had a hombre.
I got to make sure I spell this word right.
I don't think I am.
What are you making?
Spell committed.
C-O-M-M-I-T-I-N-G?
I don't know.
I added an extra T.
I don't know what's wrong.
What are you?
Oh, I was right the first time.
We're back on the air, my man.
You've got to say words.
I am saying words.
OK, well, you've got to say coherent words.
You don't want to hear, how about a, hey, how about a,
hm, hm, hm.
No, you talk.
OK.
So I was at home today, and it was pretty cool.
You had to have a fucking Microsoft account?
I don't think so.
I didn't.
Do you need an email?
Just type in the podcast email.
I did it when work.
Well, that's a bummer.
Preview, maybe?
No, can't do that.
We need to learn how to edit.
Say I think sucks.
What?
What is this?
Eric Church being rude.
Eric Church is a saint.
I get it.
They know what's up.
What?
Kitty Diddler.
Kitty what?
Kitty Diddler.
Who?
Oh, oh, I see you.
OK.
Barry.
Oh, fucking church.
That's what it looked like.
I got you.
Jesus.
I hate it.
Yep.
Anyways, wild tangent here.
What do you think about David Goggins?
I got no beef with David Goggins.
I don't love him.
I was really into him like five years ago,
like when I was fresh out of boot camp.
Like David Goggins is the fucking man.
Now listen to his shit.
It's like he just says fuck a lot.
He's like the rest of us.
And he runs.
He's a bad ass motherfucker.
Don't get me wrong.
But like I don't need his content that much.
If I'm ever like I absolutely don't want to go work out,
but I know I need to, I'll watch like three minutes of David
Goggins.
It's like, all right, I'm a fucking loser.
I should go work out.
But I don't ingest his content often.
I'm not denying that he's a hard dude for sure.
But like he's so cheesy, man.
He's like he's going to be in some dude's corner
for this next UFC fight that's coming up, right,
for UFC 296.
Yeah, you trained the guy.
Did he really?
Yeah.
Good for him.
That's pretty cool.
But like what's he going to do?
Imagine you're beating the shit out of somebody.
It's your who's going to carry the boats.
And then they do nothing.
They just continue to sit there and be punched.
Like his stuff's just so cheesy, man.
I suppose.
Like I'm just cool that he's doing well for himself.
Power to the guy.
Like I don't care who carries the boats.
What does that even mean?
Somebody's got to carry the boats, dude.
Why?
If there's fucking boats.
The water will carry.
The whole purpose of boats is they're carried by water.
They've got to get to the water, dummy.
Are they going to walk there?
You fucking idiot.
His stuff doesn't make any sense.
I ran 400 miles.
I weighed 399 pounds.
All the bones in my feet broken.
I couldn't get done running.
Go to the hospital.
What are you doing?
I searched big red guy fighting Joey Chestnut.
This is not what I expected to come out of it.
Well, that is you.
True.
We got to save these.
Does it store these?
Do I get to keep them?
Yeah, they should have like a memory thing.
OK.
What else should I search?
I don't know.
Who's going to carry the boats?
Tell me who's carrying the boats.
Find out for me, please.
I want to see who is carrying the boats.
Creating.
So I only get 15 for free.
That's silly.
I got 20.
I don't know.
Maybe it's just blowing up and I have
like a grandfathered account.
I don't know.
But needless to say, I'm part of the crew.
OK.
Part of the ship, part of the crew.
I'm not a fan of AI.
I wish it didn't exist.
Oh, yeah.
I think we all were like, oh, this is scary.
Oh, my god.
David Goggins was wrong.
What do you say?
It would appear that everybody collectively
carries the boats.
Not one person.
Oh, Dave, you got it all backwards.
Look at that village coming together to carry the boat.
It takes a fucking village, David.
It takes a damn village.
I got a lot of questions about David Goggins.
Such as?
Is he stupid?
You have one of that before you.
I would never say this out to his face because it terrifies me.
I think he would rip either of us directly in half.
Yeah, he would do that Mortal Kombat move where he just
punched into your chest and grabs your heart.
But he's just.
God, they won't let me do anything.
There comes a point where you're like, dude,
that can't be good for you.
I ran 900 miles today.
Why did you do that?
You're poor joints.
Dude, his bad ass is fucked.
I don't have the mental strength to do that, do you?
I have neither the mental strength nor the joints, mainly.
You know his knees are just sitting there just, help us.
Yeah, his knees have.
That's the thing.
His knees have no cartilage anymore.
His knees are just bone on bone.
But the doctors are like, hey, man,
if you get a knee replacement, you
won't be able to run anymore.
He's like, nah, fuck that.
Got to keep running.
Who's going to carry the boats?
Like, his knees are just bone on bone.
Brother, swim.
He probably does.
You know what?
David Goggins would be just as cool
if he swam 1,000 miles a day as he
would be if he ran 1,000 miles a day.
Arguably cooler, because whenever I'm running,
I can take a minute and breathe.
Whenever I'm swimming, if I take a minute, I will die.
So when you're swimming, you can't just stop swimming.
You had no choice but to just swim.
If David Goggins swam across Michigan to Canada,
that would be cool.
That would be hard.
And that would be a feat of fitness.
Not a feat of like, but I'm not saying
running ultra-marathons isn't a feat of fitness.
But it's got to be just foolish.
It's taking a toll on your body, brother.
I suppose.
I mean, obviously, he's taking a toll on his body.
But he's pretty well regarded as one of the fucking toughest
guys.
That's a fucking cool reputation.
At what point do you lie?
I'm tough.
And in fucking 30 years, he's going
to be regarded as one of the crippledest guys.
Like, it's going to come a point where he just cannot move.
Army of well-trained, bulletproof bears
being led to the Vatican by a handsome redhead.
That is you.
That is indeed an army.
I like that one right there.
That's my favorite one.
The guy dressed as a bear.
Yeah, I like that too.
That's just a dude named Mishko you picked up along the way.
Hell yeah, brother.
The pope is quaking in his boots as we speak.
Well, he shouldn't be.
The pope has no reason to fear.
I'm not coming with the pope.
The Swiss Guard, as we speak, they're looking at their pikes
like, hey, guys.
Oh, shit.
Can we maybe update these?
And they're like, to what?
The bears are already bulletproof.
What are we going to upgrade them to?
And they're like, oh, boy.
Oh, fuck.
They're sitting there like, so what are they?
They're coming for the pope, right?
We're going to die defending the pope?
No, they don't care about the pope.
They only want you.
That's even scarier.
Oh, that's the one.
Go get yourself a beret, brother.
I like that one too.
I like that one.
It's me in a suit with my National Defense Service
Medal.
What's that in his hand?
Is it a gun?
I think it's a poorly generated gun, yeah.
Interesting.
What else have we talked about on this podcast?
Imagine being what?
A Swiss Guardsman.
You're like, at least I'll die doing what I signed up for,
defending the pope.
They're like, no, no, no.
From bears?
We don't care about the pope.
We only want you.
And they're like, so if I just resigned right now,
I wouldn't be killed by an army of bears?
Well, that's the thing.
It depends.
Are they going to keep wearing that fucking dorky outfit?
They're going to keep wearing that fucking dorky outfit.
They're going down.
You're telling me right now, if I just changed clothes,
you would spare me this horrible, horrible death?
And resign, but yeah.
That's correct.
He's looking at his buddy like Luigi.
I don't know, man.
This seems like a pretty straightforward thing.
Yeah, but who's going to carry the boats?
And then, of course, Luigi is horrifically
mulled with by bears and torn apart in front of our friend
Mario's eyes.
And Mario thinks to himself, man, maybe I should just
go to my locker, grab my sweatpants.
Interesting.
But I like the ultimatum, being set before him.
Do you quit your job and change clothes,
or do you be torn to shreds by bears?
It's a pretty straightforward request,
and one that I think is quite reasonable.
What are you searching for, and why are you giggling?
I'm giggling at what you said.
Thank you.
I'm a giggle-inducing guy.
You know how I be.
But I am, once again, trying to get it
to make a thing of a red-headed guy fighting Joey Chestnut.
If the first one didn't work.
Looked like fucking.
The red Gumby attacking Joey Chestnut.
Well, this is gay.
What do we got?
That guy's handsome.
I like how that guy's eating a cheeseburger.
I like that, too, but it's not funny Joey Chestnut.
That's a nice little touch.
They got the Joey Chestnut in spirit.
I did the same prompt, but without Fritiarity in it.
And it told me it was blocked, so I added Fritiarity,
and it made this.
Fucking stupid.
What's Joey Chestnut's next big event?
Can we go there and really get this hype going?
Jelly Roll.
I don't want to show up and be like,
I'm going to fucking fight you, because I'll get arrested.
Jelly Roll got started by dissing Waffle House,
and now he's one of the biggest country.
Is that actually how?
Yeah.
His first album, because I'm a fucking OG fan.
His first album was a giant Waffle House diss track.
But is that what put him on the map?
Or was it fucking 20 years later that he top fiveed?
It was 20 years of pretty good music.
But you know what?
That's how you got to get started.
And there was a small following.
What have you created?
It was fucking, I scrolled up on the net,
and went into a different Bing thing.
I was like, how can I help you?
He was like, well, I'm trying to search it,
but you won't let me.
What do you?
What?
I don't know.
I'm not sure what was going on with that one at all.
Pah, pah, pah.
Mm.
Unfortunately, Joey Chestnut does not
have any sort of tour list.
However, what's the hot dog thing that he'd?
Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Contest.
Yeah.
It's in seven months.
Or like that.
I don't know.
Start training, brother.
Me?
I don't want to be a competitive eater.
You'll know it to fight Joey Chestnut.
Imagine you're Joey Chestnut.
You've eaten 8,000 calories in hot dogs,
and it's a big old red guy that comes to you.
Sparta kicks you in the gut.
I'm not just going to fight him.
I want him to be sanctioned.
You projectile vomit.
I'm not threatening him.
You just vomit hot dogs right at you like it's a Pokemon attack.
Tell on July 4th.
Well, that's an issue, because obviously I'm
going to be at Willie Nelson's July 4th picnic on July 4th.
Conflict of schedules.
Can you make both?
Perhaps.
Can you assault Joey Chestnut and then?
Beat the shit out of Joey Chestnut
and show up to a 90-year-old guy's concert?
91-year-old guy's concert?
I imagine if you just go up to the sign
and it says, like, Willie, I just assaulted Joey Chestnut.
Can I have a hug?
I think they'd kick me out.
Well, maybe.
Potentially.
Maybe I got.
That guy's committed.
Is that a felony?
That's a felony.
That guy just committed a felony.
Get him out of here before he kills this American icon,
which would be fair.
Can we just create enough of like,
can we just be threatening enough that one day the FBI has
to sit down with Joey Chestnut and be like,
we believe you are in danger?
I'm not trying to.
I'm not going to surprise attack him.
I would like him to have a sanctioned fight with me
like an adult.
Let's call Dana White.
Let's start messaging him.
I don't think Dana White will talk to us.
That man is like a billionaire.
He set aside his money for Mark Zuckerberg and that other guy.
Two of the most famous people on the earth, yep.
You're telling me right now.
I don't think he gives a shit about us.
You're telling me right now that Dana White wouldn't
go out of his way to arrange a massive UFC fight for a guy
who eats hot dogs and a guy no one's ever met.
Correct.
That is exactly what I'm telling you.
Bullshit.
How much does Joey Chestnut weigh?
You're thinking a sanctioned fight.
We looked it up.
He was like 220.
OK, yeah.
So in a sanctioned fight, you'd be in the same weight class.
Good, good.
Cool, cool.
He's what, everything over like 207's heavyweight?
Yeah.
I think 207's.
That's ridiculous.
Right, dude?
And the cutoff is 260.
Do you know what light heavyweight is?
It's 200 to 205.
Fucking what?
And then heavyweight is 205 or higher to 265 pounds.
That's massive.
You could be fighting like a decent sized NFL linebacker
and just be like a normal guy.
Yeah.
That's terrifying.
That's ridiculous.
Like you can tell, like when you look at UFC fighters,
you can tell the guys who just can't put on 265 pounds
and have to fight at the lower weight classes.
Because they're just super, like, super skinny guys that
should be in high weight classes.
They probably just can't get to 265.
And they're like, well, guess I'll settle for bantam weight.
Like it's, I'd like to have a conversation with Dana White
as to how that occurred.
And why is there nothing above 265 pounds?
Like, Alistair Overeem, that dude was like an easy like 280
before we started cutting.
What do we got?
What is wrong with this content?
Kid Rock on an interesting podcast
with a handsome brown hair.
I think it's the, I think it's Kid Rock.
What?
Is Kid Rock not allowed on Bing?
He's a controversial figure.
But no, I think you can't have actual celebrities.
Like Joey Chestnut, is he famous?
Yeah.
But like not actually, you know?
Kid Rock, he's a household name.
Which is a weird sentence to say out loud that I never
really thought about.
But man, Kid Rock is a household name.
Why did you think you would never say that?
Here's a fucking household name like when we were three.
I know.
It's just weird to think of Kid Rock
as a household name.
Like think, like you say household name,
you picture like big star.
Not white trash Jesus, you know?
You're really struggling with this, huh?
What do you got?
Same shit.
Still using the word Kid Rock?
No.
I tried to do it.
I tried to have it do Donald Trump.
But I put the 45th president.
Yeah, yeah.
You can't.
Why not?
I don't think you're going to weasel around this one, brother.
Why not?
Well, they probably have liabilities to worry about.
If I created an AI image like Beyonce spitting on an orphan
and then put it on the internet, like did you
know Beyonce?
Because you can hop in there.
You can be like photorealistic.
You can choose your style.
So if I made a photorealistic of Ariana Grande throwing
her high heels at a homeless man,
that could do damage to her reputation.
And I don't think Bing wants to deal with that shit.
It's fake, though.
What if it wasn't?
Just don't be silly.
Well, if it wasn't, they'd fucking verify
that it was a real goddamn image.
No, but what if you looked at it and you
couldn't tell it was fake?
Like some of these AIs are realistic, man.
I don't think Bing wants to be affiliated with the guys who
accidentally destroyed Ariana Grande's career
by making her look like someone who's.
I'm going to try and get this to make a logo for us.
So far I have podcast logo for the party's over.
What else should I add?
I would say have it not include any words,
because their spelling is atrocious.
No words.
What else?
A banjo.
Banjo.
It's going to be awful.
Probably.
You can hop on there and no words banjo.
OK, you probably could have phrased that better.
They typically respond best to like actual sentences.
Oh, bummer.
Just you know.
It's fucking sick.
I don't like the fact that it has words.
Yeah, that's true.
The parties are I mean, it looks all right.
It's just the two T's.
That's cool.
Shit, that top one.
If we can take that and have a.
Hey, what's Meg doing?
Can Meg make digital art?
I would assume maybe.
Honestly, we could use that one.
That's pretty fucking sick.
It's super fucking sick.
Unfortunately, it has atrocious spelling.
I mean, that's no good.
We could take that out and just fucking add something in there.
And we just need to get rid of two.
The party's over is correct.
How can a spell party's over correct in this one?
But then this one gets two T's.
This one gets two T's.
This one also has why does it have two T's everywhere?
What capacity makes them think two T's is necessary?
These are decent, though.
They're all really good.
If they could fucking spell.
If we just gave this to somebody that knows how to do
digital art, they could probably just recreate it better.
Fortunately, we know hundreds of people who can do digital art.
You could just pay somebody to do it.
I don't want to spend money.
I'm willing to spend money if it's good.
Fair enough, fair enough, fair enough.
Our fucking podcast intro by goddamn Banjo Wookie
is fucking kick ass.
I paid 50 bucks for it.
Shout out to Banjo Wookie.
That guy are the guy.
I fucking love that guy.
We could probably find just a freelance guy that's
willing to take like 50 bucks to make a kick ass podcast.
Probably realistic.
You know what we could do that might actually be just as good?
Let's go a fucking tattoo artist.
But we want it digital.
We could probably we probably get like a digital sketch of it.
Like I went to my tattoo artist and I was like,
this is what I want.
Here's a picture of what I kind of want it to look like.
And like three days later, he takes me back a picture of this.
What's up?
Like they do it all online now.
You know, most of them, they have to make it on iPads
to put on the stenciling machine because it's all stenciled
digitally.
We could probably just have a tattoo artist do it.
I can message my fucking skull guy.
Well, this is really annoying.
I specifically asked it to have no words and the same thing.
That's kind of cool.
That was actually entirely correct.
It is.
We can use that one.
Yeah, I like that one.
Wait, wait.
Oh, no, that's what that's wrong, too.
Yeah, let's go for that one for a while.
That one's kind of correct as well.
The V and the E are together, though, which is weird.
Yeah.
Like pretty is over.
Do you want me to message one of my tattoo guys?
How much are we going to have to pay for it?
I can ask him.
Sure, as well.
Cool, man.
Yeah, we'll do so.
Is this our new logo for the time being?
For the time being, I think we should dance around,
find something new.
But I like us having an actual logo, not just
a picture of a bunch of beer cans.
Because I think that's what scared away
Tolkien fan, whoever he or she may be.
I enjoy this a lot, actually.
I agree.
That's all right with me.
Unfortunately, that is neither one of us.
So I feel like it should have us in it.
I don't think there's anything wrong with it.
Fair enough, fair enough.
Just a dude chilling?
Yeah, just a dude chilling.
Bing chilling, as they say.
Bing chilling?
Unfortunately, bring it back up.
What?
Where's the fifth string on that banjo?
There's four string banjos.
That's the thing.
Bull fucking shit.
No one plays four string banjos.
You show me someone who plays a four string banjo,
and I'll spit in their face.
I don't care enough to work it up.
They do exist, but if you play it, you deserve to die.
Unless Banjo Wookie played a four string banjo,
in which case I appreciate you.
But if you're an average guy playing a four string banjo,
stop that right now.
You make me sick to my stomach.
I think being a good banjo player would be a really good flex.
Unfortunately, I just have no desire to practice the banjo
ever.
So I just have this banjo.
It sits under my bed.
Never to be played.
I'm just going to keep making this more complicated
and see what it gives me.
OK.
I added us.
Oh, well, that's not going to go well.
Well, handsome brown haired man, handsome red haired man.
It's going to be like a photorealistic of two massive
bearded men making out.
And it's going to be like, ah.
It's not good.
That's actually not bad.
The party is over.
OK, well, that one's right.
We just need a third guy with a beard.
Or we need to grow a beard and get a guy without a beard.
That works, too.
I like how these two guys are shirtless,
and this guy is wearing a full black tie tie.
Sure.
I don't like the way he's touching that.
Yeah, that's a little intimate.
It's got six strings.
Banjo guitar thing.
Why is that guy shirtless?
Those two aren't.
Well, if that black haired guy who's shirtless
had more tattoos, he could be me if he was skinnier.
Because I very rarely wear a shirt.
Because I like making others uncomfortable.
OK, too long of a pause there.
What are you searching up for now?
I'm adding with tattoos, and I'm putting only two men.
Well, now it's going to give us both tattoos.
That's fine.
OK.
You going to get tatted up?
Fully inked?
If you had tattoos, you would be a terrifying man.
I do plan to get.
I'd like to do like, what's this, a quarter sleeve?
Yeah.
I'd like to get a quarter sleeve at some point.
I don't know what I want, and I don't
want to pay for it right now.
But at some point, I'd like that.
I would also like to get in shape before I do it.
Fair enough, fair enough.
If you got inked, you would be scary.
Why?
Because you're large and red.
What's with the three guys?
I specifically asked for two with only two men.
Well, that's actually not bad.
Do you want to be the?
It's super douchey.
I like how they made me have salt and pepper hair.
I do like that.
Because sometimes I begin stressed,
and I get a little salt and peppery.
I've noticed it a time or two.
Your hair doesn't change color, does it?
A little bit.
Whenever I'm particularly stressed,
I'll go in the bathroom one day, and I'll be like, oh.
I'm graying.
Interesting.
Yeah.
But it's not a normal occurrence.
Do you ever hear change color?
If you get a lot of sun, does it turn blonde or anything like that?
Yeah, it'll lighten out.
But I don't stress change color.
I think that's more of a dark-haired person thing.
Yeah.
I've never seen any.
I mean, I guess I really wouldn't know if a blonde person was
turning white hair.
Yeah.
I mean, my dad's hair is a gray now.
But he used to be a ginger?
Yeah.
Oh.
I guess I've only known him with gray hair.
Gingers either go gray or like toe-headed.
What does that even mean?
Baby, baby, baby.
I like where this is at.
I like where that's headed a lot.
I added mandolin and it did this.
OK.
Well, hey, you know what?
It's got the head of a mandolin, but it's a guitar.
Also wrong people.
Well, yes.
I like that one.
That one looks super doozy, but I like it a lot.
Look at it.
That's super cool, actually.
What's up with the banjo?
Does it matter?
I suppose not.
Why is it on a phone?
Who cares?
Or it's a podcast.
It's cool.
I like it.
I think we could rotate through all of these
and just be super doozy about it.
You want to just use all of these horribly generated AI
images for our part, like our episode pictures
for next while?
Sure.
What else should we add?
Let's restart.
OK.
Podcast logo with handsome brown-haired man with tattoos
playing the banjo and a handsome red-headed man.
I want tattoos.
Playing the mandolin.
We should put the name in, right?
The name's been OK.
Yeah, it's been at least one.
It's gone pretty well.
We usually get one good winch time.
For a podcast.
So if you're listening to this podcast,
I assume you're listening on Spotify,
because who the fuck uses Amazon music?
It is my assumption that we should probably
stop doing things like this, where we talk about the podcast
on the podcast.
If you object to that and you want
to see more of us talking about or the same amount of us
talking about the podcast on the podcast,
feel free to hop on that little comment section
on the Spotify episodes and send us a message.
Yeah, shit talkers.
No balls.
Or questions, comments, concerns, ideas.
Literally anything besides us making AI art
that you guys cannot see and talking about it on the episode.
I think that would probably.
These are all really bad.
Or since, as of right now, December 13, 2023,
everybody that's listening to us knows us personally.
You can just reach out and tell us what you want.
Except Meg.
Meg, if you're listening, we don't
want to hear your opinion.
Keep it to yourself.
Correct.
These are bad.
Yeah, these all suck.
What's that one?
If it weren't misspelled, that wouldn't be bad.
But yeah, if you have ideas.
I assume you're not going to reach out to us
because you'll forget.
So just do it right now.
Hop on the comment section and say, hey, do more of this.
Do less of this.
We're trying to actually have a decent podcast here.
So if you have suggestions, ideas, concerns,
if you have a cousin who happens to be Beyonce
and she would do us the favor of hopping on here
for a little while.
Head us up.
Yeah, these are all just possibilities, prospects.
We're trying to make a show for the people, not by the people.
It's by us.
We're the people.
We're just normal poor guys.
But one day, we will.
Here's us jousting.
What the fuck is this, dude?
Why are you in a dress in that picture?
Don't fucking worry about it, dude.
What I do in my own time is my business.
All right, well, that was something you said.
You said it.
You put it in the air.
I can't take it back.
It's being recorded, posted online.
But you have a crush on Joe.
So if you saw Joe, you would understand.
I was told every time they were like, you don't understand.
You'll have a crush on Joe whenever you meet him, too.
And I was like, I'm not going to.
They said that?
Yeah.
They said you'd have a crush on him.
Yep.
That's odd.
And I was like, dude, that's weird.
Why are you saying?
Nope.
OK.
And I was like, dude, I'm not going to have a crush on Joe.
That's a weird thing to say to another guy.
And then I met Joe.
I don't like the way you said that.
It changed my life, dude.
Every day is now about waking up and trying
to be half the man that Joe is.
Very uncomfortable by this.
They hate us because they ain't us.
That's you, John.
You ain't us.
Me and Joe in a league of our own.
I suppose I ain't you.
We out here just Joe-ing it up.
We out here going for Joe.
Go for Joe.
Going for Joe doesn't have the same ring as go for Joe.
For Jill?
Joe?
Go for Joe?
Joe?
But like, yeah.
You're not on our level, me and Joe.
Me?
Well, actually, you're significantly closer to Joe's
level than I am right now.
What do you mean?
But don't get me wrong.
I mean, you're in better shape than me
and probably doing better than me in life.
Significantly smarter than me.
I don't know about that.
Fortunately, I'm the handsomer of the two.
So that evens out.
I don't know.
They gave me the banjo and the logo.
Those bastards.
Everyone knows that I'm the guy who
says he plays the banjo but actually practices it never.
Is your banjo here?
Yes, it's under my bed.
I've played it like twice since I've lived here.
Why?
Because I get off work and my baby's throwing things
in my head and I'm like, man, I don't want to.
Hit it with the banjo.
Wouldn't that make a childhood memory?
My dad used to full out baseball bat swing a banjo at my head.
I remember when I was two.
One day I threw a block at my dad.
He beat me with a banjo.
That's some Texas chainsaw massacre shit right there.
Now what do they use?
Like wooden mallets and stuff like that.
I imagine it was an unhappy childhood in the Texas
chainsaw massacre household.
I suppose.
OK, I saved the decent logos.
Nice.
You want to wrap this up?
I got to pee again.
Yeah, I think that's a call it an episode.
Oh, yeah, you betcha.
OK, thanks guys.
Thanks for listening.
Bye.
Have a great day.
Bye.