WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:01.960 Hey everyone, Dave here bringing you another 00:00:01.960 --> 00:00:04.379 installment of Interdimensional Swap. This week 00:00:04.379 --> 00:00:06.480 we have an episode from a show called Itty Bitty 00:00:06.480 --> 00:00:08.960 Horror, which besides being super fun to say 00:00:08.960 --> 00:00:10.740 over and over again real fast, which I've been 00:00:10.740 --> 00:00:13.300 doing all day, it's also super fun to listen 00:00:13.300 --> 00:00:17.179 to. Basically what it is, it's a paranormal, 00:00:17.480 --> 00:00:21.699 strange... high strangeness all podcast but also 00:00:21.699 --> 00:00:24.219 a horror podcast with a bit of a queer twist 00:00:24.219 --> 00:00:27.000 to it that's that's uh the description they used 00:00:27.000 --> 00:00:30.079 and i will say it is fairly accurate um it's 00:00:30.079 --> 00:00:33.259 really good essentially uh each episode what 00:00:33.259 --> 00:00:36.500 you're gonna get is a strange story something 00:00:36.500 --> 00:00:40.759 spooky something horror related um but it's not 00:00:40.759 --> 00:00:43.479 just that they also have uh you know guests on 00:00:43.479 --> 00:00:47.289 like ghost tour guides they got authors writers 00:00:47.289 --> 00:00:49.570 just people like in the paranormal and horror 00:00:49.570 --> 00:00:53.450 spaces uh it's really good this week's episode 00:00:53.450 --> 00:00:54.909 that i'm going to bring you is about the lost 00:00:54.909 --> 00:00:57.310 dutchman's gold mine which i didn't know what 00:00:57.310 --> 00:01:00.090 it was or it was even a thing until now but uh 00:01:00.090 --> 00:01:03.130 i highly recommend checking it out uh and if 00:01:03.130 --> 00:01:04.930 again if you like what you hear you know the 00:01:04.930 --> 00:01:07.109 drill go show them some love give them a follow 00:01:07.109 --> 00:01:10.170 uh five star rating and reviewed never hurt anybody 00:01:10.170 --> 00:01:16.140 so yeah with that out of the way enjoy You know, 00:01:16.159 --> 00:01:18.579 Tim, I'm actually glad we decided to go outdoors 00:01:18.579 --> 00:01:20.739 and experience this stuff firsthand. It makes 00:01:20.739 --> 00:01:23.719 the podcast feel more authentic. Ugh, Luis, we 00:01:23.719 --> 00:01:26.340 could have learned about ghosts literally anywhere 00:01:26.340 --> 00:01:28.780 else. A tropical island, a haunted five -star 00:01:28.780 --> 00:01:31.920 resort, a sexy dead bartender who only appears 00:01:31.920 --> 00:01:33.560 when you order a drink with a tiny umbrella. 00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:37.019 Instead, we are out here and it's 104 degrees. 00:01:37.980 --> 00:01:39.819 Sweating like a priest watching heated rivalry. 00:01:40.299 --> 00:01:44.129 First of all, that's very specific. Second, you 00:01:44.129 --> 00:01:45.730 say you want it to be more outdoorsy for your 00:01:45.730 --> 00:01:48.189 New Year's resolutions. I'm supporting your growth, 00:01:48.310 --> 00:01:51.629 Tim. I didn't mean this outdoorsy. I meant clamping. 00:01:54.430 --> 00:01:57.030 Okay, okay, wait. The sun's going down. It's 00:01:57.030 --> 00:01:59.769 cooler now. Let's just camp here. Here? You want 00:01:59.769 --> 00:02:01.650 to go back to the car and find somewhere less 00:02:01.650 --> 00:02:04.709 isolated? We're in the literal middle of nowhere. 00:02:05.030 --> 00:02:08.210 What if a coyote gets us? You dragged me into 00:02:08.210 --> 00:02:11.030 the desert, and now you're scared of desert animals. 00:02:11.090 --> 00:02:21.860 Pick a struggle. We're camping here. Fine. Tim. 00:02:22.400 --> 00:02:27.659 Tim, wake up. Oh, what? Wait, why are you like 00:02:27.659 --> 00:02:30.960 this? I was dreaming I rode back into town with 00:02:30.960 --> 00:02:33.860 saddlebags full of gold. People respected me. 00:02:33.900 --> 00:02:38.139 I heard something. Something wrong, like an inhuman 00:02:38.139 --> 00:02:41.360 noise. Almost like a possessed donkey. A possessed 00:02:41.360 --> 00:02:44.560 donkey. Sure. Yeah, okay, that's a thing that 00:02:44.560 --> 00:02:52.400 happens. It's a coyote, Luis. Oh. Okay, I heard 00:02:52.400 --> 00:02:55.479 that. What if it's the ghost of a dead prospector? 00:02:55.560 --> 00:02:58.460 What if he thinks we're after his gold? He opens 00:02:58.460 --> 00:03:00.800 the tent, hacks our heads off with a pickaxe, 00:03:00.800 --> 00:03:03.159 my head rolls into the desert, your body tries 00:03:03.159 --> 00:03:05.379 to run. Stop. And then he drags our corpses into 00:03:05.379 --> 00:03:07.080 the Superstition Mountains to feed us to baby 00:03:07.080 --> 00:03:10.240 demons. You have to stop reading those Reddit 00:03:10.240 --> 00:03:16.879 ghost stories before bed. Uh, hello? Is someone 00:03:16.879 --> 00:03:22.080 out there? Great. No signal. Fantastic. Tim, 00:03:22.139 --> 00:03:24.759 there's bad medicine in them rocks. What does 00:03:24.759 --> 00:03:31.659 that even mean, Louise? Hello? Who's there? This 00:03:31.659 --> 00:03:34.460 isn't funny. We'll kill you if this is a joke. 00:03:35.319 --> 00:03:39.580 Who bear? Whoa there. Are you guys okay? Are 00:03:39.580 --> 00:03:41.939 you a ghost? Why are you wearing khaki shorts? 00:03:42.319 --> 00:03:45.020 Why do you have that name tag, Tiffany? What 00:03:45.020 --> 00:03:47.479 are you talking about? I'm as real as the pee 00:03:47.479 --> 00:03:49.960 on your pants. Tim, you're pissing your pants, 00:03:50.099 --> 00:03:54.259 love. Oh, sorry. Got a little too excited. Man, 00:03:54.300 --> 00:03:55.500 what are you doing out here in the middle of 00:03:55.500 --> 00:03:58.810 the desert this late at night? The desert? Sir, 00:03:59.050 --> 00:04:02.569 you're standing inside a Kmart. This is the hiking 00:04:02.569 --> 00:04:09.210 section. Wait. Luis, did we hallucinate an entire 00:04:09.210 --> 00:04:11.930 camping trip? I told you we shouldn't have eaten 00:04:11.930 --> 00:04:14.689 those tamales from behind the dumpster. Anyway. 00:04:15.409 --> 00:04:19.730 Excuse me. Sir? Sir? We'll take this tent. So, 00:04:19.870 --> 00:04:22.209 it was all a dream. Your pants are still covered 00:04:22.209 --> 00:04:25.069 in piss, Timmy boy. Yeah, it makes me feel like 00:04:25.069 --> 00:04:27.420 I'm out in the wilderness. I hate us so much 00:04:27.420 --> 00:04:31.540 right now. Clean up on aisle five. These two 00:04:31.540 --> 00:04:33.920 pigs made a mess, and we need the extra strength 00:04:33.920 --> 00:04:43.439 bleach and Zamboni. Clean up on aisle five. This 00:04:43.439 --> 00:04:45.439 is the Tim and Luis banter part. You got to keep 00:04:45.439 --> 00:04:47.759 it moving. Tim, did you change your pants before 00:04:47.759 --> 00:04:51.879 starting this episode now? I did. Yeah, I switched 00:04:51.879 --> 00:04:54.000 into a new pair. Yeah, well, I'm glad that you 00:04:54.000 --> 00:04:57.439 did that because... Even though we're like two, 00:04:57.560 --> 00:04:59.240 three thousand miles away, I can still smell 00:04:59.240 --> 00:05:01.500 the piss. I know, I'm pissing my pants, love. 00:05:02.079 --> 00:05:04.199 Welcome to the Itty Bitty Horror Podcast with 00:05:04.199 --> 00:05:06.629 Luis and Tim. In this podcast, we discuss everything 00:05:06.629 --> 00:05:08.870 from horror movies to the scariest tales out 00:05:08.870 --> 00:05:13.110 there with a touch of prospector humor. Oh, just 00:05:13.110 --> 00:05:15.310 a little smidgen of it. Yeah, just a little bit. 00:05:15.569 --> 00:05:18.389 Tim, Happy New Year. Listeners, Happy New Year's 00:05:18.389 --> 00:05:20.529 to you. Happy New Year, everyone. Our little 00:05:20.529 --> 00:05:23.069 itty bitties. Hope you had a good, restful, nice 00:05:23.069 --> 00:05:25.230 holiday. Yes, we definitely wish that you had 00:05:25.230 --> 00:05:28.069 an amazing time. That makes no sense. Anyway, 00:05:28.189 --> 00:05:30.230 how was your New Year celebration, Tim? What 00:05:30.230 --> 00:05:32.220 did you do? Anything fun? Well, the holidays 00:05:32.220 --> 00:05:34.199 were so crazy. I think I told you at the time 00:05:34.199 --> 00:05:36.959 that honestly, when we got home and we flew back 00:05:36.959 --> 00:05:38.839 because we had been sick right before Christmas, 00:05:38.920 --> 00:05:42.160 it was a whole thing, you know. And so, yeah, 00:05:42.199 --> 00:05:45.180 by the time we flew back where I live, we just 00:05:45.180 --> 00:05:46.420 decided, you know what? New Year's is going to 00:05:46.420 --> 00:05:49.399 be like a night where we just watch, you know, 00:05:49.399 --> 00:05:52.300 some movies. We drink a little Prosecco. We watch 00:05:52.300 --> 00:05:54.379 the giant ball drop in Times Square from our 00:05:54.379 --> 00:05:56.560 TV and then, you know, just call it a night. 00:05:56.620 --> 00:05:59.000 So where did you celebrate New Year's Eve? Literally 00:05:59.000 --> 00:06:01.589 at home. I feel like. When you were there, you 00:06:01.589 --> 00:06:05.709 were like, three, two, one. Your husband turned 00:06:05.709 --> 00:06:12.670 to you and said, should old acquaintance be forgot? 00:06:16.810 --> 00:06:18.610 Who knows the rest of that song? Does anyone? 00:06:18.829 --> 00:06:21.670 I spent it with my family in Texas. And it was 00:06:21.670 --> 00:06:23.089 fun. It was nice to see everybody. It had been 00:06:23.089 --> 00:06:25.769 like a little bit over a year since I last saw 00:06:25.769 --> 00:06:28.589 them. So it was nice to visit them back in Texas. 00:06:28.970 --> 00:06:31.730 And, you know, we popped some fireworks, got 00:06:31.730 --> 00:06:36.129 drunk, 12 grapes in one minute. Wait, I'm sorry. 00:06:36.310 --> 00:06:38.569 Back it up real quick. What did you do with grapes? 00:06:38.850 --> 00:06:41.680 You shoved them in your mouth. Wait. Who shoved 00:06:41.680 --> 00:06:43.680 grapes into whose mouth exactly? And is this 00:06:43.680 --> 00:06:45.279 a tradition that I've never heard of? Yeah, isn't 00:06:45.279 --> 00:06:47.540 it? Listeners, please comment and let Tim know. 00:06:47.600 --> 00:06:49.199 Inform him. Actually, I didn't even know about 00:06:49.199 --> 00:06:50.639 this tradition, but apparently you're supposed 00:06:50.639 --> 00:06:52.779 to eat 12 grapes. And I think you're supposed 00:06:52.779 --> 00:06:55.560 to make 12 wishes or maybe one wish. I don't 00:06:55.560 --> 00:06:57.639 know. Like one for each month? Yeah. And then 00:06:57.639 --> 00:06:58.920 you're supposed to like shove them in your mouth 00:06:58.920 --> 00:07:00.680 and like obviously don't swallow them like a 00:07:00.680 --> 00:07:02.360 snake. But you're supposed to like chew them 00:07:02.360 --> 00:07:03.720 and swallow them. But I don't know if you're 00:07:03.720 --> 00:07:05.160 supposed to do that in under a minute or you're 00:07:05.160 --> 00:07:06.660 supposed to do that, you know, over the course 00:07:06.660 --> 00:07:08.339 of like two, three minutes. I don't know. I know. 00:07:08.579 --> 00:07:11.829 It never ends. I know. Seriously. Well, I'm glad 00:07:11.829 --> 00:07:14.089 that you had fun. Listeners, I hope you had fun 00:07:14.089 --> 00:07:16.769 too for New Year's Eve. But let's talk about 00:07:16.769 --> 00:07:19.290 today's episode. Can we do like a sharp left 00:07:19.290 --> 00:07:21.269 turn and just go straight into the episode? Because 00:07:21.269 --> 00:07:23.509 I think it's pretty exciting. Oh, I thought we 00:07:23.509 --> 00:07:26.009 could talk more about our New Year's. Okay, well, 00:07:26.069 --> 00:07:28.230 what are your resolutions? Well, I didn't make 00:07:28.230 --> 00:07:30.490 too many, but I did make a few. So we're riding 00:07:30.490 --> 00:07:33.230 a donkey and traveling. Just kidding. How freaking 00:07:33.230 --> 00:07:36.089 dare you. Go ahead, Timmy. People want to learn. 00:07:36.149 --> 00:07:38.189 What are your resolutions? No, I'm not telling 00:07:38.189 --> 00:07:39.790 you now. You don't get the privilege. No, no, 00:07:39.829 --> 00:07:41.490 no, no. We want to know for real. Well, I would 00:07:41.490 --> 00:07:43.990 say my first and main resolution is always to 00:07:43.990 --> 00:07:46.709 exercise more. It's always that little thing 00:07:46.709 --> 00:07:48.949 that lingers over my head that I'm like, I got 00:07:48.949 --> 00:07:51.029 to do that this year. So I'm doing that more. 00:07:51.189 --> 00:07:53.889 I've been going to Planet Fitness. Yeah, yeah, 00:07:53.930 --> 00:07:56.439 yeah. And yeah, that's kind of my main one. What 00:07:56.439 --> 00:07:58.899 about you? What's funny because like, I always 00:07:58.899 --> 00:07:59.939 say the same thing. I was like, I'm going to 00:07:59.939 --> 00:08:01.939 work out more. I'm going to walk more and, you 00:08:01.939 --> 00:08:03.899 know, start the weights and maybe get a trainer 00:08:03.899 --> 00:08:05.620 and blah, blah, blah. But then I get my steps 00:08:05.620 --> 00:08:08.720 in and then it's like January 2nd. I'm like eating 00:08:08.720 --> 00:08:11.500 a fucking slice of pizza and beer down my throat. 00:08:11.579 --> 00:08:13.540 And you know what I mean? It's like, yeah. Eating 00:08:13.540 --> 00:08:16.079 tamales behind a dumpster that we found. Yeah, 00:08:16.180 --> 00:08:17.939 exactly. So I'm like, I already fell off. So 00:08:17.939 --> 00:08:20.100 I'm like, okay, well next year, 2027. I know. 00:08:20.139 --> 00:08:22.000 But I was going to say, the funny thing is one 00:08:22.000 --> 00:08:24.279 of my resolutions as well, going with the exercise 00:08:24.279 --> 00:08:28.579 one is to get 10K steps. a day. And in my mind, 00:08:28.579 --> 00:08:30.360 for some reason, I don't know why, and listeners, 00:08:30.500 --> 00:08:32.120 maybe you've had this, I thought it would be 00:08:32.120 --> 00:08:35.100 super easy. And then I have an Apple Watch, right? 00:08:35.139 --> 00:08:36.740 So I've been looking at it and I've been walking 00:08:36.740 --> 00:08:40.740 around everywhere. It is hard to get 10K steps 00:08:40.740 --> 00:08:43.860 in. You don't live in downtown San Francisco 00:08:43.860 --> 00:08:46.019 where you can just walk around and go every, 00:08:46.100 --> 00:08:48.299 you know what I mean? Yes, exactly. And where 00:08:48.299 --> 00:08:50.820 I live, I find that it's actually strange to 00:08:50.820 --> 00:08:52.799 be walking around all the time. I feel like my 00:08:52.799 --> 00:08:54.019 neighbors are going to be like, why does that 00:08:54.019 --> 00:08:57.110 guy keep just wandering around? around the area 00:08:57.110 --> 00:08:59.190 why is that man walking straight into the woods 00:08:59.190 --> 00:09:01.970 every night you already have your like your straight 00:09:01.970 --> 00:09:03.850 path of where you're gonna be walking to anyway 00:09:03.850 --> 00:09:07.049 you're like oh i know the path it's safe is there's 00:09:07.049 --> 00:09:09.669 like no insects and bees and whatnot it's gonna 00:09:09.669 --> 00:09:11.690 be safe for me but he was like that man is weird 00:09:11.690 --> 00:09:14.269 he has like a weird ritual where he walks into 00:09:14.269 --> 00:09:17.090 the woods at two yes and then comes out at 3 00:09:17.090 --> 00:09:19.990 p .m or like i'm trying to get my 10k steps i'm 00:09:19.990 --> 00:09:22.409 just trying to get my steps i know i feel like 00:09:22.409 --> 00:09:24.049 no one's gonna believe me for some reason i feel 00:09:24.049 --> 00:09:25.789 like i've hit an age where if If I'm just wandering 00:09:25.789 --> 00:09:27.830 around trying to get steps in, people will be 00:09:27.830 --> 00:09:30.429 like, who is that over there? What's he want? 00:09:30.610 --> 00:09:33.710 They're like lowering their blinds. That's worthy 00:09:33.710 --> 00:09:35.610 man over there. He looks suspicious. We're going 00:09:35.610 --> 00:09:37.769 to report. Yeah, that's totally fair. I think 00:09:37.769 --> 00:09:39.549 as you get older, you kind of want to like. obviously 00:09:39.549 --> 00:09:43.450 stay fit take your vitamins and um you know do 00:09:43.450 --> 00:09:44.570 the things you're supposed to be doing to take 00:09:44.570 --> 00:09:46.409 care of yourself but um it's hard to do that 00:09:46.409 --> 00:09:48.049 i agree like especially when you live like in 00:09:48.049 --> 00:09:50.669 the suburbs or something exactly here i might 00:09:50.669 --> 00:09:52.690 try to walk around i'm just gonna get stabbed 00:09:52.690 --> 00:09:56.169 or run over so you know walk around my room people 00:09:56.169 --> 00:09:58.210 look at my steps i was like oh luis you got like 00:09:58.210 --> 00:09:59.649 five thousand steps today like what are you doing 00:09:59.649 --> 00:10:01.450 every day it's like i literally go down the stairs 00:10:01.450 --> 00:10:04.509 and smoke a cigarette and then come back up how 00:10:04.509 --> 00:10:07.139 about that i'm getting my steps in Yeah, exactly. 00:10:07.320 --> 00:10:09.720 I know. Up and down those stairs. Well, and outrunning 00:10:09.720 --> 00:10:11.860 people trying to stab you, apparently. The last 00:10:11.860 --> 00:10:13.539 resolution that I have, Tim, is I really want 00:10:13.539 --> 00:10:16.919 to travel more, honestly. Oh, yes. That's a good 00:10:16.919 --> 00:10:18.840 one. Yeah, because last year I didn't go anywhere, 00:10:18.980 --> 00:10:21.100 really. Like, the whole year I did not travel 00:10:21.100 --> 00:10:23.080 except for, you know, visiting family in Texas. 00:10:23.179 --> 00:10:25.139 But, like, I did not do anything. And I kind 00:10:25.139 --> 00:10:26.860 of feel like, oh, I want to get out more and 00:10:26.860 --> 00:10:29.799 do more and whatnot. But I think that I want 00:10:29.799 --> 00:10:34.750 to travel to Phoenix. for the Arizona Superstition 00:10:34.750 --> 00:10:38.610 Mountains, excuse me. Whoa, the Superstition 00:10:38.610 --> 00:10:40.809 Mountains in Arizona. Yeah, what do you know 00:10:40.809 --> 00:10:42.549 about the Superstition Mountains or the Lost 00:10:42.549 --> 00:10:44.649 Dutch Mine, which is today's topic? See what 00:10:44.649 --> 00:10:48.210 we did, listeners? A little segue for you. I 00:10:48.210 --> 00:10:50.789 mean, number one, of course, big city in Arizona. 00:10:50.929 --> 00:10:54.009 It's hot, it's in the desert, and it's maybe 00:10:54.009 --> 00:10:55.789 the greatest city in the United States. Well, 00:10:55.909 --> 00:10:59.230 Tim, because you don't know shit. Excuse me. 00:10:59.720 --> 00:11:01.600 That's where the Arizona Superstitious Mountains 00:11:01.600 --> 00:11:04.320 are and the Lost Dutchman Mine. It's a cursed 00:11:04.320 --> 00:11:07.480 pocket of gold hidden deep in Arizona Superstitious 00:11:07.480 --> 00:11:09.419 Mountains where those who go looking for it tend 00:11:09.419 --> 00:11:12.610 to vanish. die violently or come back changed 00:11:12.610 --> 00:11:15.809 if they even come back at all oh no wait but 00:11:15.809 --> 00:11:17.710 how come i've never heard of this it seems like 00:11:17.710 --> 00:11:19.730 such a dangerous place to visit the lost dutchman 00:11:19.730 --> 00:11:22.269 mine yeah you're not a very worldly person i 00:11:22.269 --> 00:11:26.330 would say oh excuse me again even though you 00:11:26.330 --> 00:11:28.230 traveled more than i have all over the world 00:11:28.230 --> 00:11:30.509 but still i've been all over the world i know 00:11:30.509 --> 00:11:32.649 a thing or two yeah you're basically the white 00:11:32.649 --> 00:11:37.720 version of carmen san diego yes yes exactly Well, 00:11:37.720 --> 00:11:41.019 how about this? You and I, let's go rent a donkey. 00:11:41.879 --> 00:11:44.419 Okay. Yeah, let's just get on it and travel. 00:11:44.480 --> 00:11:46.929 You had me a donkey. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we'll 00:11:46.929 --> 00:11:48.830 travel from our respective cities and meet in 00:11:48.830 --> 00:11:51.330 the middle. And we'll be traveling maybe outside 00:11:51.330 --> 00:11:53.970 of Phoenix into the legend of the Lost Dutchman 00:11:53.970 --> 00:11:56.570 Mine. Oh, no. What are your thoughts so far, 00:11:56.649 --> 00:11:58.490 Tim? Are you ready? Are you ready to go to Phoenix? 00:11:58.590 --> 00:12:00.590 Or not Phoenix, but like outside of Phoenix and 00:12:00.590 --> 00:12:03.929 maybe get beheaded by, you know, demons and ghosts? 00:12:04.450 --> 00:12:08.269 Yes. Oh, okay. Well, there you go. Also, listeners, 00:12:08.330 --> 00:12:12.220 if you want extra content. feel free to check 00:12:12.220 --> 00:12:14.139 out our Substack. You can just type out Itty 00:12:14.139 --> 00:12:16.960 Bitty Horror Podcast on it. Now, what we're going 00:12:16.960 --> 00:12:19.379 to be doing there, releasing on Substack without, 00:12:19.460 --> 00:12:21.500 you know, releasing it for this episode, is we're 00:12:21.500 --> 00:12:23.960 going to be talking about the Magallon Monster, 00:12:24.100 --> 00:12:26.759 which is Phoenix's answer to Bigfoot. You can 00:12:26.759 --> 00:12:28.539 find the link to our Substack in the show notes, 00:12:28.580 --> 00:12:31.120 or again, just go to Substack, download the app, 00:12:31.179 --> 00:12:33.019 and type out Itty Bitty Horror Podcast. And a 00:12:33.019 --> 00:12:35.299 reminder, again, it's free. Wow, yeah, Phoenix 00:12:35.299 --> 00:12:38.320 heard Bigfoot. We need our own Bigfoot. And then 00:12:38.320 --> 00:12:41.220 they got one, baby. They got one and they're 00:12:41.220 --> 00:12:43.120 like, you're going to fucking go out there and 00:12:43.120 --> 00:12:45.059 run in the woods. We don't have woods. We have 00:12:45.059 --> 00:12:47.480 desert. Go out there. Tim, I already asked you, 00:12:47.519 --> 00:12:49.639 but are you ready to explore the Lost Tales of 00:12:49.639 --> 00:12:52.580 the Lost Dutchman Mind? Yes. The Lost Dutchman 00:12:52.580 --> 00:12:54.860 Mind. The most catchy title. I'm ready. Yeah, 00:12:54.919 --> 00:12:56.600 it's like a tongue twister right there. It kind 00:12:56.600 --> 00:13:07.080 of is. East of Phoenix, Arizona, there's a mountain 00:13:07.080 --> 00:13:09.809 range locals don't hike casually. They don't 00:13:09.809 --> 00:13:12.549 joke about it. They don't stay after dark. They 00:13:12.549 --> 00:13:15.830 call it the Superstition Mountains. And for more 00:13:15.830 --> 00:13:17.970 than a century, people have gone into these mountains 00:13:17.970 --> 00:13:22.470 chasing gold and never came back. Tonight, we're 00:13:22.470 --> 00:13:24.070 talking about one of the most infamous treasure 00:13:24.070 --> 00:13:26.909 legends in American history, a mine that may 00:13:26.909 --> 00:13:30.129 or may not exist, a fortune that no one has ever 00:13:30.129 --> 00:13:32.990 successfully claimed, and a trail of bodies that 00:13:32.990 --> 00:13:36.490 keeps growing. This is the story of the Lost 00:13:36.490 --> 00:13:49.259 Dutchman Mine. Long before prospectors, before 00:13:49.259 --> 00:13:52.840 maps, before rumors of gold, the Superstition 00:13:52.840 --> 00:13:56.279 Mountains already had a reputation. To the Apache, 00:13:56.580 --> 00:14:00.000 this land was sacred, not metaphorically, literally. 00:14:01.419 --> 00:14:03.340 They believed the mountains were home to their 00:14:03.340 --> 00:14:06.379 thunder god, a powerful and violent spirit capable 00:14:06.379 --> 00:14:08.620 of punishing anyone who disrespected the land. 00:14:09.000 --> 00:14:12.279 The Apache had a name for this place, the Devil's 00:14:12.279 --> 00:14:15.799 Playground. They warned outsiders not to enter. 00:14:16.279 --> 00:14:22.559 They said the mountain kills people. In 1540, 00:14:22.700 --> 00:14:25.659 Spanish conquistadores, led by Francisco Vázquez 00:14:25.659 --> 00:14:29.200 de Coronado, ignored those warnings. They were 00:14:29.200 --> 00:14:31.220 searching for the seven golden cities of Cebola. 00:14:31.559 --> 00:14:35.980 Instead, they found something else. Men vanished. 00:14:36.220 --> 00:14:39.059 Others were found dead. Some were mutilated. 00:14:39.279 --> 00:14:42.559 Some were missing their heads. The Spanish fled. 00:14:43.440 --> 00:14:52.320 They renamed the place Monte Superstition. The 00:14:52.320 --> 00:15:05.980 legend had teeth now. By the late 1600s and early 00:15:05.980 --> 00:15:09.759 1700s, rumors of gold refused to die. Jesuit 00:15:09.759 --> 00:15:13.279 priest Eusebio Francisco Quino explored the region 00:15:13.279 --> 00:15:15.840 and confirmed what many feared and hoped. There 00:15:15.840 --> 00:15:19.179 was gold in the superstitions. And that discovery 00:15:19.179 --> 00:15:23.840 lit a fuse. In 1748, the land was granted to 00:15:23.840 --> 00:15:26.639 Don Miguel Peralta, a wealthy Mexican cattle 00:15:26.639 --> 00:15:29.879 baron. The Peralta family worked the mines carefully, 00:15:30.200 --> 00:15:34.360 quietly, always aware of Apache hostility. But 00:15:34.360 --> 00:15:37.740 in the winter of 1847, greed overpowered caution. 00:15:38.320 --> 00:15:50.179 The Peraltas returned in force. They never made 00:15:50.179 --> 00:15:54.120 it out. Apache warriors attacked. Horses scattered. 00:15:54.519 --> 00:15:58.159 Gold spilled across the desert floor. Prospectors 00:15:58.159 --> 00:16:00.379 would later claim to find dead pack animals still 00:16:00.379 --> 00:16:03.720 wearing saddlebags filled with gold. And then 00:16:03.720 --> 00:16:08.419 in 1864, the Peraltas tried again. 400 men entered 00:16:08.419 --> 00:16:11.860 the mountains. Only one came back. The rest died 00:16:11.860 --> 00:16:15.120 on what is now called Massacre Ground. After 00:16:15.120 --> 00:16:19.669 that, the mine vanished. Or hid. If I could just 00:16:19.669 --> 00:16:21.710 interrupt real quick, I find it funny that some 00:16:21.710 --> 00:16:23.909 of these things in Phoenix are very literal, 00:16:24.049 --> 00:16:25.990 aren't they? I mean, superstition mountains, 00:16:26.409 --> 00:16:28.789 massacre ground. I mean, it's also like, like 00:16:28.789 --> 00:16:30.509 it's not, none of it's a metaphor. It's pretty 00:16:30.509 --> 00:16:32.570 like obvious. Well, how about the devil's playground? 00:16:32.809 --> 00:16:34.129 Do you think the devil's literally right there? 00:16:34.250 --> 00:16:35.750 Okay, well, no, I don't think the devil's on 00:16:35.750 --> 00:16:38.610 like a seesaw. Well, he is there. He's like playing 00:16:38.610 --> 00:16:42.769 volleyball with God. With God. Yeah, whoever 00:16:42.769 --> 00:16:45.690 wins gets the rights to Luis and Tim's souls. 00:16:45.950 --> 00:16:52.129 Oh, no, God, come on, give it your all. In 1870, 00:16:52.269 --> 00:16:55.649 a man named Dr. Abraham Thorne was blindfolded. 00:16:56.129 --> 00:16:58.710 Apache leaders led him deep into the Superstitions 00:16:58.710 --> 00:17:01.309 Mountains after he earned their trust by treating 00:17:01.309 --> 00:17:05.369 their sick. For 20 miles, he saw nothing. When 00:17:05.369 --> 00:17:07.670 the blindfold came off, he stood in a canyon 00:17:07.670 --> 00:17:10.519 beneath a strange rock formation. at his feet 00:17:10.519 --> 00:17:14.500 a pile of gold ore. He was allowed to take only 00:17:14.500 --> 00:17:16.839 what he could carry. He sold it for the modern 00:17:16.839 --> 00:17:20.240 equivalent of a small fortune. And then, he tried 00:17:20.240 --> 00:17:23.200 to go back. Legend says he found the mine again. 00:17:23.940 --> 00:17:25.859 Legend also says he never left the mountains 00:17:25.859 --> 00:17:30.660 alive. My god! But also, when he was selling 00:17:30.660 --> 00:17:32.640 all that gold, do you think someone had to bite 00:17:32.640 --> 00:17:34.920 a giant chunk? What are you talking about? You 00:17:34.920 --> 00:17:36.440 know how they used to, when they had to detect 00:17:36.440 --> 00:17:38.980 whether or not it was actual gold or fool's gold, 00:17:39.079 --> 00:17:40.900 they would bite into a little piece of gold. 00:17:40.960 --> 00:17:42.420 Do you think they had to do that with the giant 00:17:42.420 --> 00:17:44.140 amount? Oh, you mean because he was constantly 00:17:44.140 --> 00:17:46.059 coming back with a lot of gold and they're like, 00:17:46.160 --> 00:17:49.779 this guy, he has a lot of gold here and we kind 00:17:49.779 --> 00:17:52.430 of don't trust this. Yeah, exactly. I'm just 00:17:52.430 --> 00:17:54.789 saying, I feel like maybe they had a giant pile 00:17:54.789 --> 00:17:57.230 of gold with like some real teeth marks in it, 00:17:57.349 --> 00:17:59.329 you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, if they leave 00:17:59.329 --> 00:18:01.190 teeth marks, that would imply that it's not gold 00:18:01.190 --> 00:18:03.089 because it's like an easily markable. No, no, 00:18:03.089 --> 00:18:05.670 no. Luis, you don't remember your class clearly 00:18:05.670 --> 00:18:09.289 from when you grew up. Gold is what bends. That's 00:18:09.289 --> 00:18:11.450 how they can tell that you can actually bite 00:18:11.450 --> 00:18:14.829 into it. Oh, that explains why. You know what? 00:18:14.869 --> 00:18:16.670 I'm going to keep my resolution. You really should. 00:18:17.069 --> 00:18:21.210 In the 1860s, a German immigrant. Yes. Sorry, 00:18:21.329 --> 00:18:28.190 nothing. In the 1870s, a German immigrant named 00:18:28.190 --> 00:18:30.950 Jacob Waltz started paying for supplies in Phoenix 00:18:30.950 --> 00:18:34.170 with astonishingly pure gold. He never said where 00:18:34.170 --> 00:18:37.509 he came from. He never filed a claim. When people 00:18:37.509 --> 00:18:40.630 followed him, he lost them in the canyons. Waltz 00:18:40.630 --> 00:18:44.680 was secretive, contradictory, paranoid. Some 00:18:44.680 --> 00:18:46.660 say he learned the mine's location from an Apache 00:18:46.660 --> 00:18:49.740 woman named Kenty. Others say the Apache punished 00:18:49.740 --> 00:18:51.819 her brutally for betraying sacred knowledge. 00:18:52.119 --> 00:18:56.220 Either way, Waltz kept returning with gold. Until 00:18:56.220 --> 00:19:01.759 1891. A flood destroyed his homestead. He fell 00:19:01.759 --> 00:19:04.559 ill. And on his deathbed, he whispered clues 00:19:04.559 --> 00:19:08.119 to a woman named Julia Thomas. She searched. 00:19:08.319 --> 00:19:13.200 She failed. Jacob Waltz died. and the mine became 00:19:13.200 --> 00:19:16.859 known as the Lost Dutchman. By the end of the 00:19:16.859 --> 00:19:19.740 19th century, the Lost Dutchman mine was no longer 00:19:19.740 --> 00:19:23.059 just a legend. It was an obsession. And soon, 00:19:23.220 --> 00:19:32.400 it would start killing people. Oh my god, Luis, 00:19:32.579 --> 00:19:35.859 Luis! I'm obsessed now! and we should start looking 00:19:35.859 --> 00:19:37.759 for gold okay what are your thoughts of this 00:19:37.759 --> 00:19:40.799 the history of the mine the lost dutchman mind 00:19:40.799 --> 00:19:43.299 do you think that this is something like if you 00:19:43.299 --> 00:19:46.319 and i were both alive in the 1800s you know when 00:19:46.319 --> 00:19:48.079 people were prospecting yeah old and whatnot 00:19:48.079 --> 00:19:51.000 and somebody sure sure let's say you and i let's 00:19:51.000 --> 00:19:54.180 say you actually just me let's just say you are 00:19:54.180 --> 00:19:57.599 running a general store you know in the middle 00:19:57.599 --> 00:20:01.559 of a western A little town somewhere outside 00:20:01.559 --> 00:20:03.500 of Phoenix. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, yeah. You're 00:20:03.500 --> 00:20:04.720 running one of those stores and you're like, 00:20:04.819 --> 00:20:07.000 geez, I don't think we're going to make rent 00:20:07.000 --> 00:20:11.420 this month, ma and pa. Sales of licorice aren't 00:20:11.420 --> 00:20:13.200 what they used to be. They aren't what they used 00:20:13.200 --> 00:20:15.980 to be. And then I come in and I'm Jacob Waltz, 00:20:15.980 --> 00:20:18.339 right? Oh, okay. You're the German guy? Yeah, 00:20:18.339 --> 00:20:19.960 yeah, yeah. I'm the German guy. And I say like, 00:20:20.079 --> 00:20:24.839 hi, mister. I am German. That box of licorice 00:20:24.839 --> 00:20:28.569 you have there? Uh -huh. Can I buy that with 00:20:28.569 --> 00:20:33.230 this big saddle of gold? Whoa. I'd be like, Mr. 00:20:33.410 --> 00:20:36.170 German guy. Why do you have such a fucked up 00:20:36.170 --> 00:20:38.990 accent? Why do you have such a messed up accent? 00:20:39.250 --> 00:20:41.490 I'm like, yes or no. Can I buy that licorice 00:20:41.490 --> 00:20:43.410 over there with this bag of gold? Oh my gosh. 00:20:43.470 --> 00:20:47.829 You sound like Ilya. Except for the laddie part. 00:20:47.950 --> 00:20:51.390 I'm like Russian. I am Russian. Yes. Okay. You? 00:20:51.529 --> 00:20:55.309 Okay. Yes. And my name is Hollinder. What would 00:20:55.309 --> 00:20:57.410 you do, though, if I showed up with a big bag 00:20:57.410 --> 00:21:00.150 of gold because I wanted to buy a bag of licorice? 00:21:00.390 --> 00:21:03.069 And then you're like, hi, mister, where did you 00:21:03.069 --> 00:21:06.650 get that gold? And I'm like, oh, it's from the 00:21:06.650 --> 00:21:11.269 Lost Dutchman. Would you ask me for, like, a 00:21:11.269 --> 00:21:13.769 drawing of the map to find that location? Or 00:21:13.769 --> 00:21:15.849 what would you do? Well, I mean, obviously, assuming 00:21:15.849 --> 00:21:17.930 I'm, you know, like this young person living 00:21:17.930 --> 00:21:19.769 in this, you know, I'm staying at this general 00:21:19.769 --> 00:21:21.829 store. I think I'd be very, yeah, I'd be surprised. 00:21:22.089 --> 00:21:24.450 Then I'd be like, oh, my gosh, sir. Like, you 00:21:24.450 --> 00:21:26.890 got to show me where that gold is. Where did 00:21:26.890 --> 00:21:29.539 you find it? Yeah. And then I'd grab my. and 00:21:29.539 --> 00:21:34.079 so like this is where it is i'm like no damn 00:21:34.079 --> 00:21:39.539 it the resolution didn't help sorry tim i tried 00:21:39.539 --> 00:21:45.680 failed again started 2027 again uh yeah it's 00:21:45.680 --> 00:21:47.319 a really interesting story like obviously the 00:21:47.319 --> 00:21:50.650 history of how you know people would go there 00:21:50.650 --> 00:21:52.990 people would come back with gold and how they 00:21:52.990 --> 00:21:55.150 would take other folks and like we're gonna blindfold 00:21:55.150 --> 00:21:57.049 you because like the indigenous people didn't 00:21:57.049 --> 00:21:59.869 want you to know where it was although although 00:21:59.869 --> 00:22:02.670 they did let that one person know if you recall 00:22:02.670 --> 00:22:05.049 they were like he seems cool okay and they take 00:22:05.049 --> 00:22:07.109 him and they give him gold but he supposedly 00:22:07.109 --> 00:22:09.869 found it i don't know i feel like Well, we're 00:22:09.869 --> 00:22:11.430 going to get into the main story right now, but 00:22:11.430 --> 00:22:13.490 I feel like all these people got what they deserved. 00:22:13.769 --> 00:22:15.210 Well, you could be right. I mean, they're asking 00:22:15.210 --> 00:22:16.990 for trouble. You're right. It's greed in the 00:22:16.990 --> 00:22:19.170 end. But you can't tell me that you wouldn't 00:22:19.170 --> 00:22:21.009 try to get it if you lived back then. You can't 00:22:21.009 --> 00:22:23.250 tell me that. If somebody came back and they 00:22:23.250 --> 00:22:25.730 had a bag of heads, you're like, oh, all these 00:22:25.730 --> 00:22:27.390 people right here, they try to search for gold. 00:22:27.470 --> 00:22:28.910 Here's the result. And they throw a bunch of 00:22:28.910 --> 00:22:31.809 heads towards me. I would not go there and be 00:22:31.809 --> 00:22:34.930 like, well, my turn now. Well, no, not in those. 00:22:35.089 --> 00:22:36.829 You think any of them thought they were going 00:22:36.829 --> 00:22:39.009 to die? They obviously didn't. They didn't know 00:22:39.009 --> 00:22:41.410 probably about how many people died. Well, you 00:22:41.410 --> 00:22:43.829 know what? Let's inform our listeners about the 00:22:43.829 --> 00:22:47.349 various stories of people who did not survive. 00:22:47.410 --> 00:22:57.470 How about that? Yeah. By the time the legend 00:22:57.470 --> 00:23:00.009 of the Lost Dutchman Mine had settled into the 00:23:00.009 --> 00:23:02.450 bones of Arizona, the Superstition Mountains 00:23:02.450 --> 00:23:05.589 were no longer just a place. They were a warning. 00:23:06.359 --> 00:23:09.119 People stopped asking if the mine was real. They 00:23:09.119 --> 00:23:14.759 start asking what it wanted in return. The mountain 00:23:14.759 --> 00:23:17.579 does not kill everyone who enters it. That's 00:23:17.579 --> 00:23:20.559 part of the cruelty. Some people come back. Some 00:23:20.559 --> 00:23:23.660 people bring gold. And some never come back at 00:23:23.660 --> 00:23:26.299 all. So it sounds like it's just a normal bunch 00:23:26.299 --> 00:23:28.140 of mountains then. Some people make it, some 00:23:28.140 --> 00:23:30.099 people don't. What if, like, when you get there, 00:23:30.279 --> 00:23:32.819 there's a ghost in the Superstition Mountains, 00:23:33.039 --> 00:23:35.490 right? The Superstition Mountains? Okay. And 00:23:35.490 --> 00:23:37.730 you're like, I'm here for gold, sir. And the 00:23:37.730 --> 00:23:39.930 ghost is like, well, to determine what your fate 00:23:39.930 --> 00:23:41.970 is. And they have like a little wheel and they 00:23:41.970 --> 00:23:44.049 spin it. And then depending on where it lands, 00:23:44.150 --> 00:23:46.109 that's essentially your fate. And, you know, 00:23:46.130 --> 00:23:48.529 it falls on like, nope, you're going to get beheaded. 00:23:48.630 --> 00:23:50.549 And the people are like, oh God, okay, fine. 00:23:50.829 --> 00:23:53.710 Oh, fine. Fine. They just chopped her head off. 00:23:54.109 --> 00:23:57.170 Who's next here for gold? I would love it if 00:23:57.170 --> 00:23:58.890 it was a little bit of a wheel of fortune situation. 00:24:01.900 --> 00:24:04.660 In the summer of 1880, two recently discharged 00:24:04.660 --> 00:24:07.420 soldiers wandered into the mining town of Pinal 00:24:07.420 --> 00:24:10.519 looking for work. They were broke, sunburned, 00:24:10.519 --> 00:24:12.759 and desperate enough to do something foolish. 00:24:13.480 --> 00:24:17.660 They carried a small sack of gold ore. Not flakes, 00:24:17.900 --> 00:24:21.640 not dust, ore so rich it stunned the mine manager 00:24:21.640 --> 00:24:25.299 who examined it. The soldiers told him they'd 00:24:25.299 --> 00:24:27.140 picked it up while crossing the Superstition 00:24:27.140 --> 00:24:29.960 Mountains. They mentioned seeing an old mine 00:24:29.960 --> 00:24:33.079 near Weaver's Needle. Nothing more. They didn't 00:24:33.079 --> 00:24:36.200 seem worried. They seemed confident. Too confident. 00:24:36.579 --> 00:24:38.900 The manager outfitted them with supplies and 00:24:38.900 --> 00:24:41.859 entered a partnership. They left together, heading 00:24:41.859 --> 00:24:45.460 back into the mountains. Two weeks passed. Then, 00:24:45.599 --> 00:24:48.619 a search party found them. Naked, shot through 00:24:48.619 --> 00:24:59.500 the head. No gold. No explanation. A year later, 00:24:59.660 --> 00:25:02.220 a part -time bartender named Joe Deering listened 00:25:02.220 --> 00:25:05.440 to the soldier's story one too many times. He 00:25:05.440 --> 00:25:08.220 went looking. When he came back, he was different. 00:25:08.920 --> 00:25:11.579 Deering told people he'd found something. An 00:25:11.579 --> 00:25:14.940 old mine. A place so rough, so unnatural, that 00:25:14.940 --> 00:25:18.299 he struggled to describe it. The most god -awful 00:25:18.299 --> 00:25:22.299 rough place you can imagine, he said. A ghostly 00:25:22.299 --> 00:25:26.220 place. He didn't go back right away. He tried 00:25:26.220 --> 00:25:28.619 to save money first. He took shifts underground 00:25:28.619 --> 00:25:31.799 at the Silver King Mine. One week later, the 00:25:31.799 --> 00:25:39.940 mine collapsed. Joe Deering died without ever 00:25:39.940 --> 00:25:47.140 telling anyone where he had been. Elisha Marcus 00:25:47.140 --> 00:25:49.980 Rivas didn't go looking for the mine, but the 00:25:49.980 --> 00:25:56.240 mountain came to him. Rivas was known as the 00:25:56.240 --> 00:25:59.460 madman of the superstitions, a hermit, a scholar, 00:25:59.660 --> 00:26:02.319 a man who lived alone in the high valley, growing 00:26:02.319 --> 00:26:05.319 vegetables, reading books, and occasionally sprinting 00:26:05.319 --> 00:26:07.140 naked through the canyons firing a pistol into 00:26:07.140 --> 00:26:11.200 the sky. Even the Apache left him alone. In the 00:26:11.200 --> 00:26:14.380 spring of 1896, Rivas didn't come down from the 00:26:14.380 --> 00:26:16.839 mountain. When someone finally went to check 00:26:16.839 --> 00:26:19.519 on him, they found his body on a trail near Rogers 00:26:19.519 --> 00:26:22.640 Canyon. His head was severed, placed several 00:26:22.640 --> 00:26:26.019 feet away. Later that same year, two Easterners 00:26:26.019 --> 00:26:28.819 went searching for the lost Dutchman mine. They 00:26:28.819 --> 00:26:33.220 were never seen again. Around 1910, two men named 00:26:33.220 --> 00:26:36.019 Silverlock and Malm began tearing into the northern 00:26:36.019 --> 00:26:39.319 edge of the mountain. Dozens of shafts, endless 00:26:39.319 --> 00:26:42.480 tunnels, nothing but scraps of old Mexican gold. 00:26:43.119 --> 00:26:46.359 Then, Malm showed up in Mesa, claiming Silverlock 00:26:46.359 --> 00:26:49.640 had tried to kill him. Silverlock was declared 00:26:49.640 --> 00:26:53.799 insane. Malm was sent to the poor farm. Both 00:26:53.799 --> 00:26:57.200 were dead within two years. That same year, high 00:26:57.200 --> 00:26:59.700 up on Superstition Mountain, a woman's skeleton 00:26:59.700 --> 00:27:03.299 was found in a cave. Beside her, several gold 00:27:03.299 --> 00:27:06.640 nuggets. No one ever explained how they got there. 00:27:17.930 --> 00:27:20.410 pig -headed men have always thought the same 00:27:20.410 --> 00:27:22.349 way right they're always going to attack women 00:27:22.349 --> 00:27:25.410 and those less most vulnerable but like you find 00:27:25.410 --> 00:27:27.769 a woman skeleton there like no one ever explained 00:27:27.769 --> 00:27:29.170 how they got there yeah she was probably kidnapped 00:27:29.170 --> 00:27:32.130 or maybe she was an indigenous woman attacked 00:27:32.130 --> 00:27:36.240 by these gold digging losers losers yeah exactly 00:27:36.240 --> 00:27:38.920 but luis i mean the the evidence is stacking 00:27:38.920 --> 00:27:40.539 up that there's a ton of gold in these mountains 00:27:40.539 --> 00:27:43.579 however can i say something too what would happen 00:27:43.579 --> 00:27:46.160 if you and me were in these mountains let's say 00:27:46.160 --> 00:27:48.380 we're you know we're in phoenix we're in superstition 00:27:48.380 --> 00:27:51.539 mountains and we go up into a cave and let's 00:27:51.539 --> 00:27:54.200 say somehow we you know not the curse doesn't 00:27:54.200 --> 00:27:57.470 affect us like nothing bad happens and then we 00:27:57.470 --> 00:28:00.829 find gold would gold be worth the same i feel 00:28:00.829 --> 00:28:02.430 like if we turned it in they'd be like oh yeah 00:28:02.430 --> 00:28:04.390 there's like i don't know four thousand bucks 00:28:04.390 --> 00:28:07.190 worth and then like we wouldn't be rich we would 00:28:07.190 --> 00:28:10.190 just have like some gold no four thousand dollars 00:28:10.190 --> 00:28:15.369 in what in the 1800s whatever um how much was 00:28:15.369 --> 00:28:21.309 4k in 18 i don't know 50 yeah that would be worth 00:28:21.309 --> 00:28:24.960 uh 166 000 Well, that's not enough for us to 00:28:24.960 --> 00:28:26.559 live on. I mean, we'd have to split that between 00:28:26.559 --> 00:28:29.099 us. So we're down to like whatever that is. And 00:28:29.099 --> 00:28:31.900 then, you know, that's like, yeah, I mean, that's 00:28:31.900 --> 00:28:35.380 like a year's, you know, maybe a year's worth 00:28:35.380 --> 00:28:39.779 of salary for both of us. In the 1800s? No, everything 00:28:39.779 --> 00:28:42.200 was dirt cheap. We could make, it was a small 00:28:42.200 --> 00:28:45.900 fortune. Oh, well, no, I think you're wrong. 00:28:46.140 --> 00:28:48.880 Oh, well, listeners, let us know. Would $166 00:28:48.880 --> 00:28:52.680 ,000 in the 1800s change your life? Let us know 00:28:52.680 --> 00:28:54.420 in the comments, because Tim says that he's not, 00:28:54.559 --> 00:28:56.160 but then again, he is a little bougie bitch. 00:28:56.599 --> 00:28:59.740 Yeah, I need at least a million. Yeah, yeah, 00:28:59.740 --> 00:29:05.019 exactly. By the 1920s, something strange was 00:29:05.019 --> 00:29:08.000 happening. People weren't just dying, they were 00:29:08.000 --> 00:29:12.039 being driven away. In 1927, a man hiking with 00:29:12.039 --> 00:29:15.359 his sons heard rocks tumbling from above. Boulders, 00:29:15.380 --> 00:29:18.119 too large to move naturally, crashed down the 00:29:18.119 --> 00:29:21.950 cliff face. One boy's leg was crushed. The next 00:29:21.950 --> 00:29:24.650 year, two deer hunters fled the mountain where 00:29:24.650 --> 00:29:27.190 the same thing happened again. Rolling stones. 00:29:27.529 --> 00:29:33.549 No one above them. Then came Adolph Ruth. Now, 00:29:33.569 --> 00:29:37.430 I'm assuming this was before another famous Adolph 00:29:37.430 --> 00:29:39.490 because I feel like people stopped being named 00:29:39.490 --> 00:29:42.569 Adolph after, like, let's say the 1940s. But 00:29:42.569 --> 00:29:46.869 anyway. A veterinarian from Washington, D .C. 00:29:47.289 --> 00:29:50.859 A man with metal pins in his leg. A man chasing 00:29:50.859 --> 00:29:53.299 a map he believed would finally prove the mine 00:29:53.299 --> 00:29:57.099 was real. Ruth entered the Superstitions in June 00:29:57.099 --> 00:30:05.420 of 1931. He never came out. Months later, a skull 00:30:05.420 --> 00:30:08.480 was found near the Red Hills. Two holes punctured 00:30:08.480 --> 00:30:10.900 the bone. The rest of his body was discovered 00:30:10.900 --> 00:30:13.599 weeks after that, scattered in a canyon miles 00:30:13.599 --> 00:30:17.880 away. His map was still at his campsite. Authorities 00:30:17.880 --> 00:30:21.480 said it was exposure. Animals. An accident. His 00:30:21.480 --> 00:30:24.259 family never believed that. Neither did the headlines. 00:30:25.619 --> 00:30:29.119 After Ruth, the deaths came faster. A man fell 00:30:29.119 --> 00:30:31.759 from a cliff. Another was found shot with gold 00:30:31.759 --> 00:30:34.500 still in his pack. A picnic turned into a heart 00:30:34.500 --> 00:30:37.019 attack moments after a gold -rich stone was found. 00:30:37.440 --> 00:30:41.079 In 1947, James Cravey was flown by helicopter 00:30:41.079 --> 00:30:44.480 into La Barge Canyon. When he didn't hike out, 00:30:44.619 --> 00:30:47.579 searchers found his camp. Months later... His 00:30:47.579 --> 00:30:50.059 headless skeleton was discovered, wrapped in 00:30:50.059 --> 00:30:55.180 a blanket. The coroner found no foul play. I 00:30:55.180 --> 00:30:58.500 know he had his, you know, head removed from 00:30:58.500 --> 00:31:01.779 his. Well, yeah. Forcefully. But, you know, they 00:31:01.779 --> 00:31:03.440 didn't find any foul play. But the fact that 00:31:03.440 --> 00:31:05.019 they cared enough to wrap him in a blanket, I 00:31:05.019 --> 00:31:07.039 think that's really sweet. That's kind of nice 00:31:07.039 --> 00:31:10.039 of whatever did that. Yeah. You want that? Oh, 00:31:10.059 --> 00:31:12.119 sure. Yeah. If I'm already dead, wrap me in a 00:31:12.119 --> 00:31:16.220 blankie. No, they're doing it. Anyway, wrap your 00:31:16.220 --> 00:31:18.740 body in a blanket and then be like, here's to 00:31:18.740 --> 00:31:21.299 you, bitch. And they swing the axe across your 00:31:21.299 --> 00:31:24.640 body as he flies through the superstitious mountains. 00:31:24.819 --> 00:31:26.619 Well, what I want to know is why are they chopping 00:31:26.619 --> 00:31:28.779 my head off and saying, here's to you, bitch. 00:31:31.259 --> 00:31:34.670 It's some weird Casablanca toast. Here's looking 00:31:34.670 --> 00:31:39.089 at you, kid. Here's to you, bitch. Whack. As 00:31:39.089 --> 00:31:40.849 my head rolls down the hill, I'd be like, ah, 00:31:40.869 --> 00:31:42.630 it seems like the problems of two people don't 00:31:42.630 --> 00:31:44.210 amount to a hill of beans in this here world. 00:31:47.410 --> 00:31:50.809 In the 1950s, bodies appeared with bullet wounds 00:31:50.809 --> 00:31:54.269 that were ruled accidental. Skeletons with missing 00:31:54.269 --> 00:31:58.589 skulls. Campsites abandoned mid -meal. One had 00:31:58.589 --> 00:32:01.930 a blood -stained blanket. A Geiger counter. Letters 00:32:01.930 --> 00:32:05.410 with names torn out. No body and no answers. 00:32:05.990 --> 00:32:09.369 By the 1980s, even lifelong prospectors were 00:32:09.369 --> 00:32:13.309 falling. Wow, there were prospectors in the 1980s? 00:32:13.309 --> 00:32:16.430 If you are still a prospector in the 80s, like, 00:32:16.450 --> 00:32:19.049 get a real job! Get a real job, go work on Wall 00:32:19.049 --> 00:32:21.630 Street, that'll never end. Yeah, it's also, yeah, 00:32:21.789 --> 00:32:24.849 it's like, y 'all are still, you know what, fuck 00:32:24.849 --> 00:32:28.190 you, I'm glad you failed. Louise! Well, I mean, 00:32:28.190 --> 00:32:29.549 they shouldn't be, like, looking for gold that's 00:32:29.549 --> 00:32:32.160 not even theirs. who's who's to say it's not 00:32:32.160 --> 00:32:34.539 theirs at this point it belongs to the earth 00:32:34.539 --> 00:32:38.539 oh oh i didn't think about it that way what are 00:32:38.539 --> 00:32:40.240 the planet earth like that's their like little 00:32:40.240 --> 00:32:44.839 herpes source source gold gold is there like 00:32:44.839 --> 00:32:47.420 little like herpy uh flares or not flares what 00:32:47.420 --> 00:32:50.180 do you call it like warts yeah and then they're 00:32:50.180 --> 00:32:52.500 just like oh let's let's we're let's just grab 00:32:52.500 --> 00:32:54.980 all those and then yeah you know what curses 00:32:54.980 --> 00:32:57.200 everyone yeah and earth is just like what the 00:32:57.200 --> 00:32:59.980 hell like right taking my warts from me. Why 00:32:59.980 --> 00:33:02.539 do you want those? Why do you want those, you 00:33:02.539 --> 00:33:05.500 creep? That's why they're fucking, you know, 00:33:05.519 --> 00:33:07.900 going through hell. Oh, you're right. What a 00:33:07.900 --> 00:33:11.240 good point. Okay, so gold is the Earth's STDs, 00:33:11.240 --> 00:33:13.640 and people, you need to stay away from it. Stay 00:33:13.640 --> 00:33:16.220 away from gold, folks. Give it to me. Give it 00:33:16.220 --> 00:33:19.119 to Louise. Give me herpes, and by that I mean 00:33:19.119 --> 00:33:24.400 gold. Anyways. By the 1980s, even lifelong prospectors 00:33:24.400 --> 00:33:27.519 were falling. Walt Gassler spent decades searching 00:33:27.519 --> 00:33:30.140 for the lost Dutchman mine. When he was found 00:33:30.140 --> 00:33:33.599 dead in 1984, gold ore was still in his pack. 00:33:33.880 --> 00:33:38.920 Ore identical to what Jacob Waltz carried. So 00:33:38.920 --> 00:33:42.039 what is this place? A cursed mountain? A string 00:33:42.039 --> 00:33:45.119 of coincidences? Or a legend built from human 00:33:45.119 --> 00:33:48.539 obsession and desert cruelty? Scientists say 00:33:48.539 --> 00:33:50.440 the Superstition Mountains shouldn't contain 00:33:50.440 --> 00:33:54.160 gold at all. And yet, people keep finding it. 00:33:54.720 --> 00:33:57.019 They just don't keep it because the mountain 00:33:57.019 --> 00:34:00.880 always takes something back. And maybe that's 00:34:00.880 --> 00:34:03.599 the real treasure it's been guarding all along. 00:34:07.019 --> 00:34:09.800 The gold? The mountain is like, I'm going to 00:34:09.800 --> 00:34:11.820 give you this bag of gold. Yes, you can have 00:34:11.820 --> 00:34:14.389 it. Sure, you can have it. Yeah, but I need something 00:34:14.389 --> 00:34:16.809 in return. And the prospector's like, whatever 00:34:16.809 --> 00:34:20.030 you say, mountain god, what do you need? And 00:34:20.030 --> 00:34:22.690 then he just takes the mountain, whips out an 00:34:22.690 --> 00:34:26.190 arm made out of rocks. Oh, no. It's a mountain. 00:34:26.309 --> 00:34:28.650 Yeah, right. It's made of rock, sure. And it 00:34:28.650 --> 00:34:30.130 just swings towards him and cuts their head off. 00:34:30.170 --> 00:34:34.849 He's like, I need your head. Oh, no. The mountain 00:34:34.849 --> 00:34:37.690 swallows the heads and is like, I like swallowing 00:34:37.690 --> 00:34:41.920 head. Oh. was that whole story just so you could 00:34:41.920 --> 00:34:44.059 make that little joke what are your thoughts 00:34:44.059 --> 00:34:46.780 on all these people who went to the superstition 00:34:46.780 --> 00:34:50.400 mountains to find the lost dutchman mine right 00:34:50.400 --> 00:34:53.960 and then some of them coming back telling tales 00:34:53.960 --> 00:34:55.920 of what happened and other people's like nope 00:34:55.920 --> 00:34:57.980 we just found their bodies and their severed 00:34:57.980 --> 00:35:00.199 heads right by their by their laps and well i 00:35:00.199 --> 00:35:02.139 have a couple of questions about it okay number 00:35:02.139 --> 00:35:05.480 one why do people keep going back this seems 00:35:05.480 --> 00:35:09.570 pretty dumb gold herpes why else well okay but 00:35:09.570 --> 00:35:12.849 seriously like if everyone is dying then it's 00:35:12.849 --> 00:35:15.010 like why go back i feel like some people have 00:35:15.010 --> 00:35:16.869 to make it out okay for you to even think it's 00:35:16.869 --> 00:35:18.989 like worth it well some people did come back 00:35:18.989 --> 00:35:21.250 but like they had like little you know pieces 00:35:21.250 --> 00:35:23.929 of nuggets of gold or whatnot but i i you're 00:35:23.929 --> 00:35:26.670 right that's why when you said earlier that not 00:35:26.670 --> 00:35:28.650 everybody knew what was happening. They didn't 00:35:28.650 --> 00:35:30.309 know, like, people were dying or whatnot. And 00:35:30.309 --> 00:35:31.530 I was like, we're going to search for gold. It's 00:35:31.530 --> 00:35:33.210 not going to happen to me. I guess it kind of 00:35:33.210 --> 00:35:34.369 makes sense, right? Because you're thinking, 00:35:34.530 --> 00:35:36.210 like, it's not going to happen to me. Like, it 00:35:36.210 --> 00:35:37.750 happened to them because they did something stupid. 00:35:38.130 --> 00:35:39.630 But then you're going to go and search for these, 00:35:39.730 --> 00:35:41.489 you know, for gold or whatever. And then you 00:35:41.489 --> 00:35:44.250 go there and you're like, ah, shit. I guess it's 00:35:44.250 --> 00:35:46.849 my turn. And then whack, your head flies off 00:35:46.849 --> 00:35:51.869 your shoulders. That's a whack. Okay, you answered 00:35:51.869 --> 00:35:55.019 my first question. Okay. My second question is 00:35:55.019 --> 00:35:58.260 this. Why do they say that scientists say that 00:35:58.260 --> 00:36:00.519 there's no gold there? I mean, if everyone is 00:36:00.519 --> 00:36:03.460 finding gold, that's just not true, scientists. 00:36:03.940 --> 00:36:05.860 I don't know why they say what they're saying 00:36:05.860 --> 00:36:07.420 in terms of like, oh, there's no gold there. 00:36:07.460 --> 00:36:09.460 There's no gold. Just probably because they're 00:36:09.460 --> 00:36:11.760 planning their own trip there. Exactly. Everyone 00:36:11.760 --> 00:36:14.099 wants the gold here. Ladies and gentlemen. who 00:36:14.099 --> 00:36:15.920 are listening to the show, if you've made it 00:36:15.920 --> 00:36:18.440 this far, and God bless you if you have, can 00:36:18.440 --> 00:36:20.860 I just say, I think we all need to form an expedition 00:36:20.860 --> 00:36:22.900 and we need to find this gold. Luis, are you 00:36:22.900 --> 00:36:24.960 with me? I'm with you. We will get on a little 00:36:24.960 --> 00:36:28.139 wagon with a horse and a donkey in our burrow. 00:36:28.659 --> 00:36:32.219 Wow, a horse and a donkey. Yeah, both. And then 00:36:32.219 --> 00:36:34.780 we'll get on it and we'll be like, take us there, 00:36:35.059 --> 00:36:42.139 runny. Runny. Take us there, Eeyore. And the 00:36:42.139 --> 00:36:44.079 horse's name is running. Yeah. Take us there. 00:36:44.219 --> 00:36:47.760 And then they take us there. And then we can 00:36:47.760 --> 00:36:50.059 find the gold. Us, the Itty Bitty Horror Crew. 00:36:50.519 --> 00:36:54.860 Yes. You, me, Charlie, our graphic art designer. 00:36:55.179 --> 00:36:58.079 Right. Our producer, Ted. Our producer, Ted. 00:36:58.199 --> 00:37:02.079 Our editor, Shoshana. Shoshana. We appreciate 00:37:02.079 --> 00:37:04.179 all the work you do, Shoshana. Just shout out 00:37:04.179 --> 00:37:05.980 to you. Shout out to you. She's probably going 00:37:05.980 --> 00:37:08.420 to cut this out. And then we'll all get on a 00:37:08.420 --> 00:37:12.960 donkey. one donkey all of us all all of us all 00:37:12.960 --> 00:37:16.820 pile on to eeyore okay and then we can find ourselves 00:37:16.820 --> 00:37:19.780 and we can prove to the world that the lost dutchman 00:37:19.780 --> 00:37:22.360 mind exists but we're not going to tell it where 00:37:22.360 --> 00:37:24.260 it is because we want to keep the gold for ourselves 00:37:24.260 --> 00:37:25.960 right we're not sharing it with anyone but it 00:37:25.960 --> 00:37:28.179 will fund this podcast for years to come you 00:37:28.179 --> 00:37:30.869 can rest assured Yeah, yeah. But my question 00:37:30.869 --> 00:37:32.570 is, are we going to go on that donkey? I mean, 00:37:32.590 --> 00:37:34.610 it's going to be all of us on this donkey. Is 00:37:34.610 --> 00:37:37.250 there going to be a giant saddle? Yeah. Okay. 00:37:37.329 --> 00:37:39.829 We're not all just doing bareback. You know what? 00:37:40.789 --> 00:37:43.070 I said I will keep my resolution. I already failed, 00:37:43.130 --> 00:37:46.289 but I'm not going there. Okay. Yes, we will be 00:37:46.289 --> 00:37:48.949 on one big saddle. Okay, good, good. Because 00:37:48.949 --> 00:37:50.670 that would be such an uncomfortable ride otherwise. 00:37:51.250 --> 00:37:55.710 Yeah, yeah. Always practice safe riding. Yes. 00:37:56.030 --> 00:37:59.070 Anyway, Tim, I have a hypothetical for you. Oh, 00:37:59.070 --> 00:38:01.210 okay. I thought I just gave a hypothetical. Why 00:38:01.210 --> 00:38:04.110 don't we give you a better one? Oh, okay. Well, 00:38:04.230 --> 00:38:11.519 a steep promise, but okay. Imagine it's the 1800s. 00:38:11.519 --> 00:38:14.719 You and I are following a hand -drawn map into 00:38:14.719 --> 00:38:16.260 the Superstition Mountains where we actually 00:38:16.260 --> 00:38:19.079 find what has to be the lost Dutchman mine, right? 00:38:19.340 --> 00:38:21.199 Okay. Yeah, and right as we're about to step 00:38:21.199 --> 00:38:23.880 inside, the spirit of an Apache warrior appears 00:38:23.880 --> 00:38:27.079 and asks for the password. You confidently yell, 00:38:27.360 --> 00:38:30.079 Gold, sir! You think I'm the biggest rube, don't 00:38:30.079 --> 00:38:32.460 you? And then he immediately pulls out a machete 00:38:32.460 --> 00:38:36.110 and slices my head off. What do you do? I'd be 00:38:36.110 --> 00:38:38.230 like, oh, sir, why did you slice his head off 00:38:38.230 --> 00:38:40.750 and not me? Whack? He just slices yours like... 00:38:40.750 --> 00:38:43.570 He just hadn't gotten to me yet, you mean. No, 00:38:43.670 --> 00:38:46.050 like, obviously he kills me to prove a point 00:38:46.050 --> 00:38:48.449 to you. Okay, but then only to have the point 00:38:48.449 --> 00:38:50.389 be completely lost on me because my head is being 00:38:50.389 --> 00:38:52.590 lopped off. Well, because you questioned him. 00:38:52.690 --> 00:38:54.750 Like, what about me? Anyway, that doesn't sound 00:38:54.750 --> 00:39:00.570 like a real answer. Ah, boy. I never give you 00:39:00.570 --> 00:39:03.449 what you want, do I? No, I wanted, like, a real 00:39:03.449 --> 00:39:06.349 answer. what that my real answer is why did you 00:39:06.349 --> 00:39:08.389 cut off his head that makes sense to ask that 00:39:08.389 --> 00:39:10.849 you would ask that very casually and calmly like 00:39:10.849 --> 00:39:13.590 sir why did you cut off my friend's head okay 00:39:13.590 --> 00:39:15.610 all right what do you want me to be like oh oh 00:39:15.610 --> 00:39:20.969 god i'd be like barfing and crying and sputtering 00:39:20.969 --> 00:39:24.139 i mean you know a more realistic response Okay. 00:39:24.260 --> 00:39:26.239 Well, there you go then. If something dramatic 00:39:26.239 --> 00:39:27.960 happened, like let's say I'm walking down the 00:39:27.960 --> 00:39:30.500 street and I'm walking with a friend and they 00:39:30.500 --> 00:39:32.320 get punched in the face and they're lying on 00:39:32.320 --> 00:39:34.159 the ground, I'm going to turn to the hitter and 00:39:34.159 --> 00:39:37.420 be like, why did you punch my friend, sir? I'd 00:39:37.420 --> 00:39:41.400 be like, you can run. Run away and leave you 00:39:41.400 --> 00:39:44.960 behind. You can run? Yes. You wouldn't even try 00:39:44.960 --> 00:39:49.440 to revive them? No. I'm not that kind of friend. 00:39:49.659 --> 00:39:51.980 I'm a bad person. We learned a little something 00:39:51.980 --> 00:39:58.730 today. Yeah. Well, Timmy, we've come to the end 00:39:58.730 --> 00:40:01.869 of the episode. What are your overall thoughts 00:40:01.869 --> 00:40:05.590 on today's show? Well, I think it was an okay 00:40:05.590 --> 00:40:08.170 show. It was awful. Is that what you're saying? 00:40:08.429 --> 00:40:10.550 No, it was a good episode. It was five stars. 00:40:10.670 --> 00:40:13.469 And part of the reason it was five stars. quite 00:40:13.469 --> 00:40:16.150 honestly, is because we learned about several 00:40:16.150 --> 00:40:19.250 creepy things located in Phoenix, a city which 00:40:19.250 --> 00:40:21.869 I did not realize had any creepy things worth 00:40:21.869 --> 00:40:23.849 discussing. And it turns out it does. So there 00:40:23.849 --> 00:40:25.570 you go. And for our Phoenix listeners, you're 00:40:25.570 --> 00:40:27.789 welcome. Phoenix listeners are like, what kind 00:40:27.789 --> 00:40:31.099 of fucking backhanded compliment was that? like 00:40:31.099 --> 00:40:33.760 you know what just shut him up right now well 00:40:33.760 --> 00:40:36.739 phoenix frankly you probably don't realize what 00:40:36.739 --> 00:40:39.039 your reputation is around the country but i'm 00:40:39.039 --> 00:40:40.820 here to tell you that this is a good thing we've 00:40:40.820 --> 00:40:42.679 done a good thing for your tourism board okay 00:40:42.679 --> 00:40:45.480 do a favor phoenix did you a solid and we love 00:40:45.480 --> 00:40:49.659 you arizona and phoenix but you know sometimes 00:40:49.659 --> 00:40:51.639 you got to get your shit together yeah you do 00:40:51.639 --> 00:40:55.119 come on so everybody else not including arizona 00:40:55.760 --> 00:40:57.940 If you enjoyed today's episode, then feel free 00:40:57.940 --> 00:41:00.139 to leave a five -star review wherever you listen 00:41:00.139 --> 00:41:02.139 to your favorite podcasts. If you'd like for 00:41:02.139 --> 00:41:04.039 us to cover a specific story or topic, then email 00:41:04.039 --> 00:41:07.139 us at ittybittyhorror at gmail .com. You can 00:41:07.139 --> 00:41:09.260 also follow us on all social media under Itty 00:41:09.260 --> 00:41:12.360 Bitty Horror. Also, as mentioned at the top of 00:41:12.360 --> 00:41:15.019 the episode, we will also be discussing the Magayan 00:41:15.019 --> 00:41:18.019 Monster, a Bigfoot -like creature from the Arizona 00:41:18.019 --> 00:41:21.059 desert. So, Phoenix, we love you, Arizona. The 00:41:21.059 --> 00:41:23.659 story will be available exclusively on Substack, 00:41:23.659 --> 00:41:25.559 so if you want more Luis and Tim takes on this 00:41:25.559 --> 00:41:28.639 big -footed freak, then subscribe to us there. 00:41:29.340 --> 00:41:32.019 That was a little judgmental. I was talking about 00:41:32.019 --> 00:41:36.800 you. Oh. You can either subscribe to us online 00:41:36.800 --> 00:41:39.440 or download the Substack app. If you're online, 00:41:39.619 --> 00:41:41.699 just go to substack .com, go to the search bar, 00:41:41.739 --> 00:41:43.639 and type out Itty Bitty Horror Podcast, and you'll 00:41:43.639 --> 00:41:46.179 find the exclusive audio there. The link to our 00:41:46.179 --> 00:41:47.940 Substack will also be posted in the show notes, 00:41:47.980 --> 00:41:50.460 so make sure to subscribe. Again, it's free. 00:41:50.699 --> 00:41:53.760 It's free. Come on. You know you want it. Free 00:41:53.760 --> 00:41:56.219 things. More of us. And this big footed free. 00:41:56.619 --> 00:41:59.179 This big footed. Anyway, Tim, what are we discussing 00:41:59.179 --> 00:42:01.800 next week? Well, we will be getting back on our 00:42:01.800 --> 00:42:05.760 donkey. Yeah. And traveling about 100 miles southeast 00:42:05.760 --> 00:42:08.400 to Tucson, Arizona. All right. We're making the 00:42:08.400 --> 00:42:11.980 rounds in Arizona, everyone. Yeah, where we will 00:42:11.980 --> 00:42:15.500 learn in Tucson about more of the legendary stories 00:42:15.500 --> 00:42:18.960 that exist there, specifically about the skinwalkers 00:42:18.960 --> 00:42:21.559 of Native American folklore and other tales. 00:42:21.679 --> 00:42:24.579 So keep an eye out for that episode. Well, listeners, 00:42:24.840 --> 00:42:28.139 thanks once again. And remember, even the smallest 00:42:28.139 --> 00:42:30.980 chills, boys and girls, they can linger. Yeah, 00:42:31.139 --> 00:42:38.980 long after the stories end. Right. Okay. All 00:42:38.980 --> 00:42:43.230 right. Stop this shit. Stop this bullshit. What 00:42:43.230 --> 00:42:45.329 are we doing? What are we doing with our lives?