WEBVTT 00:00:03.899 --> 00:00:06.240 You're listening to the Cryptid News Network 00:00:06.240 --> 00:00:12.699 with your anchors, Dave and Sarge the Destroyer. 00:00:14.199 --> 00:00:16.839 Good evening, anyone. Couldn't even get through 00:00:16.839 --> 00:00:19.800 it. Just Sarge, please. Sarge the Destroyer was 00:00:19.800 --> 00:00:24.820 my father. Yeah, for today, Sarge, we're going 00:00:24.820 --> 00:00:27.940 to be the Cryptid News Network. Like I said, 00:00:28.019 --> 00:00:30.539 I had a pretty busy... I didn't say it yet on 00:00:30.539 --> 00:00:32.840 the show, but I said it to you. It's been pretty 00:00:32.840 --> 00:00:35.299 busy the past week or so with like shirts and 00:00:35.299 --> 00:00:37.600 stuff like that. So I didn't get a chance to 00:00:37.600 --> 00:00:39.520 like really sit down and do an episode. But luckily 00:00:39.520 --> 00:00:41.939 for us, Sarge, there's been a bunch of weird 00:00:41.939 --> 00:00:44.939 shit happening lately. Oh, shit. Yes, there is. 00:00:45.020 --> 00:00:46.840 Yeah. So I figured we would do like a little 00:00:46.840 --> 00:00:49.799 I'm going to call this episode CNN Cryptid News 00:00:49.799 --> 00:00:51.640 Network. And we're just going to go over some 00:00:51.640 --> 00:00:54.920 news stories. But before we dive into all that, 00:00:55.020 --> 00:00:57.939 let me just do a real actual intro. Hey, everyone. 00:00:58.060 --> 00:00:59.859 Welcome to Crypto Cocktail Party, a show where 00:00:59.859 --> 00:01:01.320 we have a few drinks, share a few laughs, take 00:01:01.320 --> 00:01:03.719 a dive into the unknown. I am your host, Dave, 00:01:03.820 --> 00:01:06.340 joined as always by my wonderful second host, 00:01:06.519 --> 00:01:08.359 Sarge the Destroyer. I don't want to call you 00:01:08.359 --> 00:01:09.900 co -host anymore. I feel like co -host doesn't 00:01:09.900 --> 00:01:13.700 give you the recognition you deserve. I am your 00:01:13.700 --> 00:01:19.640 also host. Yeah, you're my also host. Hey, everyone. 00:01:20.219 --> 00:01:24.319 How you doing, bud? I was doing well until I 00:01:24.319 --> 00:01:26.859 found out I fucked up the episode before this 00:01:26.859 --> 00:01:29.500 by leaving a minute and a half of silence in 00:01:29.500 --> 00:01:31.180 there. Minute and a half might be a little, I 00:01:31.180 --> 00:01:33.560 might have. Yeah, it was still a long time though. 00:01:33.560 --> 00:01:35.739 I was channeling Depeche Mode apparently. Enjoy 00:01:35.739 --> 00:01:39.219 the silence. I will fix it so that you can actually 00:01:39.219 --> 00:01:43.019 listen to it if you skipped. There was a moment 00:01:43.019 --> 00:01:44.439 where I panicked listening. I was like, oh no, 00:01:44.480 --> 00:01:46.560 he forgot to like. put the episode after the 00:01:46.560 --> 00:01:49.579 intro I don't know what the fuck happened I mean 00:01:49.579 --> 00:01:54.040 it took me a long time because I was like cutting 00:01:54.040 --> 00:01:57.439 out a bunch of bullshit that I put in there so 00:01:57.439 --> 00:02:00.659 not that I put in there but I was like a lot 00:02:00.659 --> 00:02:02.719 of vocal tics and annoying things and so it took 00:02:02.719 --> 00:02:07.299 me about four hours I feel like to edit which 00:02:07.299 --> 00:02:09.659 is why you don't record at 8 o 'clock at night 00:02:09.659 --> 00:02:12.020 because I didn't finish until well after midnight 00:02:12.020 --> 00:02:15.189 I got your text When I woke up the next morning, 00:02:15.250 --> 00:02:17.530 it was like 1245. And you're like, well, it's 00:02:17.530 --> 00:02:18.930 all done and up. I'm like, all right, cool, man. 00:02:19.530 --> 00:02:22.370 Yeah. Yeah. It was a little rough. And that's 00:02:22.370 --> 00:02:25.550 what happens when you use your hyper fixation 00:02:25.550 --> 00:02:29.250 to do a podcast episode. I mean, isn't that what 00:02:29.250 --> 00:02:31.629 all, I mean, not all podcasts, most of them are 00:02:31.629 --> 00:02:37.289 just about hitting women, but a good majority 00:02:37.289 --> 00:02:40.050 of podcasts, I feel like are just people going 00:02:40.050 --> 00:02:43.400 on for hours about their hyper fixation. yes 00:02:43.400 --> 00:02:45.699 yes i wouldn't say this what this one is but 00:02:45.699 --> 00:02:47.840 it's close to it i feel like it's close yeah 00:02:47.840 --> 00:02:50.919 i like weird so this is right up my alley but 00:02:50.919 --> 00:02:52.759 i also have other interests okay cryptas aren't 00:02:52.759 --> 00:02:57.319 just who i am personality wise no no but you're 00:02:57.319 --> 00:02:59.560 doing good i'm glad you're doing good i'm doing 00:02:59.560 --> 00:03:01.419 great how are you doing you must be exhausted 00:03:01.419 --> 00:03:03.599 packing up all those t -shirts i'm wearing mine 00:03:03.599 --> 00:03:06.659 yeah they came out really good i mean i guess 00:03:06.659 --> 00:03:09.080 so i'm very happy with mine uh the company we 00:03:09.080 --> 00:03:12.210 used uh lehigh valley apparel company or something 00:03:12.210 --> 00:03:14.270 like that i forget what yeah it's lehigh valley 00:03:14.270 --> 00:03:16.590 apparel uh they did an awesome job they're a 00:03:16.590 --> 00:03:19.389 local business i've gone through them obviously 00:03:19.389 --> 00:03:22.610 why not uh but yeah so far as far as i know everyone 00:03:22.610 --> 00:03:24.729 most all of them have been delivered and no one 00:03:24.729 --> 00:03:28.099 has had a problem with him yet so It's awesome. 00:03:28.219 --> 00:03:32.460 And we were able to raise $2 ,917 for the Defending 00:03:32.460 --> 00:03:34.680 Our Neighbors Fund, which is fucking wild. Absolutely 00:03:34.680 --> 00:03:36.659 incredible. So thank you to everyone who ordered 00:03:36.659 --> 00:03:41.939 a t -shirt. Thank you to everyone who put 10 00:03:41.939 --> 00:03:43.939 toes down and wanted to put their names on the 00:03:43.939 --> 00:03:46.340 shirt because without them, it also could have 00:03:46.340 --> 00:03:48.719 been possible. But yeah, it's awesome. Thank 00:03:48.719 --> 00:03:52.360 you so much, everyone. Sarge. What's up? You 00:03:52.360 --> 00:03:55.180 ready to get in some fucking news, dude? Yes. 00:03:55.849 --> 00:03:58.530 Hell yeah. Some of these are just like random 00:03:58.530 --> 00:04:00.349 shit that I came across. Others are not, but 00:04:00.349 --> 00:04:03.210 we got to get back into the, we got to get back 00:04:03.210 --> 00:04:06.810 into the news, the news mindset. Agreed. All 00:04:06.810 --> 00:04:10.689 right. Might be hard for us. What were you saying? 00:04:10.990 --> 00:04:13.169 I was going to say it might be hard for us because 00:04:13.169 --> 00:04:15.169 we don't have a corporate, corporate overlord 00:04:15.169 --> 00:04:18.370 telling us to slob the president's knob the entire 00:04:18.370 --> 00:04:20.529 time. Oh, we can work that in somewhere. Okay. 00:04:21.290 --> 00:04:25.529 FCC, go fuck yourself. In Northeast Ohio, a series 00:04:25.529 --> 00:04:27.509 of reported Bigfoot sightings has drawn sustained 00:04:27.509 --> 00:04:29.709 attention from residents and local authorities 00:04:29.709 --> 00:04:32.209 after multiple individuals in Portage County 00:04:32.209 --> 00:04:34.310 described encounters with a large, unidentified 00:04:34.310 --> 00:04:36.689 figure moving through the wooded and semi -rural 00:04:36.689 --> 00:04:41.170 areas. First reports began around... Fuck. I'm 00:04:41.170 --> 00:04:45.350 going to stop doing the news thing. I really 00:04:45.350 --> 00:04:47.970 wanted to. I tried. It's not going to happen. 00:04:48.550 --> 00:04:52.649 I'm Ron Burgundy. Yeah, pretty much. Sorry. So 00:04:52.649 --> 00:04:55.230 in Northeast Ohio, a series of reported Bigfoot 00:04:55.230 --> 00:04:57.430 sightings has drawn sustained attention from 00:04:57.430 --> 00:04:59.730 residents and local authorities after multiple 00:04:59.730 --> 00:05:02.290 individuals in Portage County described encounters 00:05:02.290 --> 00:05:05.089 with a large, unidentified figure moving through 00:05:05.089 --> 00:05:08.329 the wooded and the semi -rural areas. The first 00:05:08.329 --> 00:05:11.149 reports began appearing in early March 2026, 00:05:11.430 --> 00:05:13.730 and they were initially posted in local community 00:05:13.730 --> 00:05:17.110 forums, I'm assuming like next door. because 00:05:17.110 --> 00:05:18.910 where else would you post something like that 00:05:18.910 --> 00:05:22.410 um and then what started as like a single account 00:05:22.410 --> 00:05:25.730 it pretty much it gained traction pretty quickly 00:05:25.730 --> 00:05:28.069 as additional residents came forward describing 00:05:28.069 --> 00:05:31.470 similar experiences within just like a couple 00:05:31.470 --> 00:05:33.269 of days and then by midweek there was at least 00:05:33.269 --> 00:05:36.810 around 10 separate sightings that had been documented 00:05:36.810 --> 00:05:39.810 across like the same general region uh witnesses 00:05:39.810 --> 00:05:43.240 descriptions They're pretty consistent. Individuals 00:05:43.240 --> 00:05:45.839 report seeing a tall, upright figure. It's estimated 00:05:45.839 --> 00:05:48.079 to stand anywhere between 7 and 10 feet tall, 00:05:48.220 --> 00:05:50.620 covered in dark hair, and moving quickly through 00:05:50.620 --> 00:05:54.699 the woods. It's Bigfoot, so it's always at the 00:05:54.699 --> 00:05:58.079 very edge of visibility. Right, right, of course. 00:05:58.399 --> 00:06:01.800 Several witnesses emphasized the speed of the 00:06:01.800 --> 00:06:04.120 figure, with one stating that it, quote, cleared 00:06:04.120 --> 00:06:06.220 the tree line faster than anything that size 00:06:06.220 --> 00:06:09.129 should be able to, end quote. And then in multiple 00:06:09.129 --> 00:06:10.769 accounts, there was the presence of a strong 00:06:10.769 --> 00:06:14.370 odor either immediately before or during the 00:06:14.370 --> 00:06:16.709 sighting. Descriptions of the smell vary slightly, 00:06:16.829 --> 00:06:18.689 but commonly included comparisons to rotting 00:06:18.689 --> 00:06:22.730 garbage, decaying organic material or a wet animal. 00:06:23.129 --> 00:06:27.170 Some residents reported noticing the smell before 00:06:27.170 --> 00:06:29.430 seeing anything, which I feel like is kind of 00:06:29.430 --> 00:06:33.129 like that standard Bigfoot. Yeah, kind of right. 00:06:33.149 --> 00:06:34.810 Yeah, you always smell it before you see it. 00:06:37.040 --> 00:06:40.720 The name of my erotic novel. We're going back 00:06:40.720 --> 00:06:43.420 to that now. All right. No, you had a better 00:06:43.420 --> 00:06:46.920 one. What was it? No, I thought that was it. 00:06:47.019 --> 00:06:48.379 I thought there was. Wasn't it? I thought there 00:06:48.379 --> 00:06:54.639 was another one. I don't remember now. Name of 00:06:54.639 --> 00:06:57.240 my erotic celebrity fan fiction. There we go. 00:07:00.860 --> 00:07:03.160 Reports have been concentrated in areas where 00:07:03.160 --> 00:07:05.459 wooded land meets like residential areas. It's 00:07:05.459 --> 00:07:08.319 like walking trails, backyards, roadside tree 00:07:08.319 --> 00:07:10.680 lines. And then several individuals stated that 00:07:10.680 --> 00:07:12.480 the encounters occurred during early morning 00:07:12.480 --> 00:07:15.279 or evening hours when the visibility is reduced, 00:07:15.399 --> 00:07:17.319 but activity in the area is like pretty high. 00:07:17.399 --> 00:07:19.519 You're like your morning commute and then your 00:07:19.519 --> 00:07:24.360 commute home. Local law enforcement confirmed 00:07:24.360 --> 00:07:26.220 that they had received multiple calls recording 00:07:26.220 --> 00:07:28.620 the sightings. The Portage County Sheriff's Office 00:07:28.620 --> 00:07:30.439 acknowledged the situation publicly, stating, 00:07:30.579 --> 00:07:33.600 quote, we have received calls recording regarding 00:07:33.600 --> 00:07:37.160 a possible Bigfoot sighting, end quote. And then 00:07:37.160 --> 00:07:39.899 shortly after acknowledging the reports, the 00:07:39.899 --> 00:07:42.120 department posted a series of tongue -in -cheek 00:07:42.120 --> 00:07:45.579 updates on social media, including one stating 00:07:45.579 --> 00:07:48.160 that Bigfoot had been, quote, located, questioned, 00:07:48.259 --> 00:07:52.759 and released. And another... It turned out it 00:07:52.759 --> 00:07:55.040 was just the cast of the Drew Carey show. Yeah, 00:07:55.120 --> 00:07:58.980 and another indicated that the creature was no 00:07:58.980 --> 00:08:02.779 longer in custody. So, I mean, that's good. You 00:08:02.779 --> 00:08:06.660 know, it's profiling at this point. This is my 00:08:06.660 --> 00:08:09.279 kind of story. It's all dark and hairy, just 00:08:09.279 --> 00:08:12.180 the way I like them. Name of my erotic novel. 00:08:12.540 --> 00:08:17.579 Boom. All right. Now, despite the volume of reports, 00:08:18.780 --> 00:08:21.360 There is no physical evidence, footprints, photographs 00:08:21.360 --> 00:08:23.459 or video. Nothing like that has ever been has 00:08:23.459 --> 00:08:26.000 been like officially verified. Authorities have 00:08:26.000 --> 00:08:28.079 not announced any formal investigation beyond 00:08:28.079 --> 00:08:30.800 responding to like those initial calls. And at 00:08:30.800 --> 00:08:32.480 this time, sightings continue to be discussed 00:08:32.480 --> 00:08:34.100 within the community with residents remaining 00:08:34.100 --> 00:08:37.320 alert and additional reports still circulating 00:08:37.320 --> 00:08:40.379 online. So that's that's our first story is the 00:08:40.379 --> 00:08:43.220 Ohio Bigfoot flap. I guess you want to call it. 00:08:43.240 --> 00:08:45.659 I don't know what you. But, you know, have you 00:08:45.659 --> 00:08:47.240 heard? Did you hear about this at all? I did 00:08:47.240 --> 00:08:53.940 hear about it. I don't believe it because Bigfoot's 00:08:53.940 --> 00:08:58.799 not real. So, I mean, but also, oh, you weren't 00:08:58.799 --> 00:09:02.919 on that episode. Me and Brennan Storr from the 00:09:02.919 --> 00:09:05.159 Ghost Story guys, when he came on, when you were 00:09:05.159 --> 00:09:09.779 in Puerto Rico, we did Bigfoot just so I could 00:09:09.779 --> 00:09:12.789 get this fuck over with. Just be like, we did 00:09:12.789 --> 00:09:16.190 it. All right. But there is an Ohio version of 00:09:16.190 --> 00:09:18.929 it called the Ohio Grassman. And I don't know 00:09:18.929 --> 00:09:22.129 if this is different, like if Bigfoot is different 00:09:22.129 --> 00:09:24.450 than the Ohio Grassman, because the Ohio Grassman 00:09:24.450 --> 00:09:27.889 is just a Bigfoot from Ohio. It sounds like a 00:09:27.889 --> 00:09:35.549 1960s drug dealer. The Ohio Grassman? I mean, 00:09:35.570 --> 00:09:38.090 yeah. Wearing a Bears jersey, just shelling out 00:09:38.090 --> 00:09:43.019 dime bags. A Bears jersey? That's Chicago. Yeah, 00:09:43.080 --> 00:09:44.980 but no one wants to admit they're a Browns fan. 00:09:45.679 --> 00:09:48.059 And the Bengals haven't been relevant in decades. 00:09:48.740 --> 00:09:51.960 I'm pretty sure our good friends over in Believing 00:09:51.960 --> 00:09:54.980 the Bizarre would beg to differ about that. No, 00:09:55.080 --> 00:09:57.879 I just completely fucked up. I mixed up the Cleveland 00:09:57.879 --> 00:10:01.080 Browns with the Chicago Bears. That's fine. My 00:10:01.080 --> 00:10:05.700 theory, this Bigfoot sighting, it's just Tyler 00:10:05.700 --> 00:10:15.620 and Charlie on each other's shoulders. Wearing 00:10:15.620 --> 00:10:18.179 like a furry ghillie suit kind of thing. That 00:10:18.179 --> 00:10:22.519 could be what it is. Are we sure Bigfoot isn't 00:10:22.519 --> 00:10:26.000 just two podcasters wearing a trench coat? At 00:10:26.000 --> 00:10:27.799 this point, you're probably fucking this, dude. 00:10:30.399 --> 00:10:32.080 All right, you ready to move on to our next story? 00:10:32.240 --> 00:10:35.179 So this one's kind of cool. This one, I didn't 00:10:35.179 --> 00:10:36.639 even know. I literally just found this today. 00:10:37.549 --> 00:10:40.529 So across the United States, a newly circulated 00:10:40.529 --> 00:10:42.610 report attempting to quantify the likelihood 00:10:42.610 --> 00:10:45.820 of alien abductions. has generated widespread 00:10:45.820 --> 00:10:48.799 attention after presenting what it calls, quote, 00:10:48.879 --> 00:10:52.259 alien abduction odds index. So this is like your 00:10:52.259 --> 00:10:56.200 odds of being abducted. The report compiles more 00:10:56.200 --> 00:10:59.100 than 150 ,000 UFO sightings collected over time, 00:10:59.259 --> 00:11:01.340 drawing from databases such as the National UFO 00:11:01.340 --> 00:11:03.500 Reporting Center, and combines that information 00:11:03.500 --> 00:11:06.179 with population data and reporting patterns. 00:11:06.360 --> 00:11:09.970 The goal... According to the researchers is to 00:11:09.970 --> 00:11:13.070 identify geographic trends and how often abduction 00:11:13.070 --> 00:11:15.669 style encounters are reported. And then rather 00:11:15.669 --> 00:11:17.870 than focusing on like solely on like sightings 00:11:17.870 --> 00:11:20.429 of unidentified objects, the analysis specifically 00:11:20.429 --> 00:11:23.309 examines reports that include details commonly 00:11:23.309 --> 00:11:26.990 associated with like abduction claims. These 00:11:26.990 --> 00:11:29.090 include descriptions of missing time, physical 00:11:29.090 --> 00:11:31.710 interaction with non -human entities, recurring 00:11:31.710 --> 00:11:35.149 encounters, and unexplained after effects. Researchers 00:11:35.149 --> 00:11:37.309 behind the report emphasized that the findings 00:11:37.309 --> 00:11:39.509 are not predictive in nature, which is good. 00:11:40.389 --> 00:11:43.509 They just said that, quote, the implied probability 00:11:43.509 --> 00:11:47.110 is not a prediction. So don't worry about it. 00:11:47.149 --> 00:11:51.389 It's just a probability. You're probably going 00:11:51.389 --> 00:11:53.909 to be able to bet on it on Polymarket soon, so 00:11:53.909 --> 00:11:59.389 that's kind of cool. Instead, the rankings reflect 00:11:59.389 --> 00:12:01.649 how frequently these types of reports appear 00:12:01.649 --> 00:12:04.769 relative to population size and reporting density. 00:12:05.309 --> 00:12:08.470 In the northeastern United States, where we happen 00:12:08.470 --> 00:12:11.129 to be, several states stand out prominently. 00:12:11.330 --> 00:12:15.769 New Hampshire ranks highest overall with approximately 00:12:15.769 --> 00:12:19.690 24 .34 reported sightings per 100 ,000 residents, 00:12:20.070 --> 00:12:22.750 making it the most statistically active state 00:12:22.750 --> 00:12:27.330 in the data set. Massachusetts, while not ranked 00:12:27.330 --> 00:12:31.230 at the very top in this index, it does hold significance 00:12:31.230 --> 00:12:34.549 due to its history of large -scale sighting events. 00:12:35.429 --> 00:12:37.470 There's pretty consistent reports coming out 00:12:37.470 --> 00:12:41.350 from Massachusetts. Pennsylvania remains among 00:12:41.350 --> 00:12:43.230 the states with the highest total volume of UFO 00:12:43.230 --> 00:12:45.389 sightings nationwide, placing it within a broader 00:12:45.389 --> 00:12:47.889 regional cluster of activity that includes all 00:12:47.889 --> 00:12:52.000 the neighboring states. Okay. Researchers noted 00:12:52.000 --> 00:12:55.220 that geographic patterns appear to repeat across 00:12:55.220 --> 00:12:57.860 data set stating, quote, the same state keeps 00:12:57.860 --> 00:13:05.679 showing up, which is New Hampshire. The report 00:13:05.679 --> 00:13:08.259 also assigns estimated statistical odds of the 00:13:08.259 --> 00:13:10.710 likelihood of being abduction based on. reported 00:13:10.710 --> 00:13:13.330 frequency in some reason region these odds fall 00:13:13.330 --> 00:13:15.870 within the range of one in several thousand though 00:13:15.870 --> 00:13:17.529 the researchers reiterate that these figures 00:13:17.529 --> 00:13:19.769 are derived entirely from reported experiences 00:13:19.769 --> 00:13:24.090 rather than confirmed incidents and now obviously 00:13:24.090 --> 00:13:26.509 while the methodology has not been formally validated 00:13:26.509 --> 00:13:29.409 by the scientific community the report would 00:13:29.409 --> 00:13:31.590 be tough to do yeah the report has been widely 00:13:31.590 --> 00:13:34.429 shared and discussed contributing to like a broader 00:13:34.429 --> 00:13:37.690 trend of analyzing paranormal claims Through 00:13:37.690 --> 00:13:40.210 these like kind of frameworks that they're using. 00:13:40.870 --> 00:13:43.850 At this time, no official organization recognizes 00:13:43.850 --> 00:13:46.149 these rankings as evidence of actual abduction 00:13:46.149 --> 00:13:49.210 risk. However, the framing of such claims in 00:13:49.210 --> 00:13:52.129 like quantitative terms has added a new dimension 00:13:52.129 --> 00:13:54.269 to how these reports are being interpreted and 00:13:54.269 --> 00:13:57.710 discussed. I believe New York. Let me find it 00:13:57.710 --> 00:14:01.909 real quick. I think New York was like crazy high 00:14:01.909 --> 00:14:04.909 on the list. That wouldn't surprise me all that 00:14:04.909 --> 00:14:07.289 much because New York's got a lot of open space. 00:14:07.509 --> 00:14:09.350 Like everybody thinks of New York as just New 00:14:09.350 --> 00:14:13.490 York City, but upstate New York is insane how 00:14:13.490 --> 00:14:18.289 vast it is. Yeah. New York ranks among the top 00:14:18.289 --> 00:14:22.789 three states in the country. Jesus. Yeah. So 00:14:22.789 --> 00:14:25.529 basically it's New Hampshire, New York, and then 00:14:25.529 --> 00:14:27.929 who the fuck knows? I don't see it on here, but 00:14:27.929 --> 00:14:29.909 yeah. West Virginia or something. I think it's 00:14:29.909 --> 00:14:31.809 fun that someone took the time to do all this. 00:14:32.320 --> 00:14:34.460 I think it's awesome. Yeah, right. It's really 00:14:34.460 --> 00:14:37.019 awesome. That's a lot. And it keeps it's very 00:14:37.019 --> 00:14:39.940 in line with like how I feel about New Hampshire. 00:14:40.340 --> 00:14:42.659 I was on threads the other day and somebody was 00:14:42.659 --> 00:14:45.100 like, yeah, New Hampshire is New England's cool 00:14:45.100 --> 00:14:47.940 uncle. And I was like, or it's the uncle that 00:14:47.940 --> 00:14:49.779 gives you a bunch of beer when you're 16 and 00:14:49.779 --> 00:14:51.840 starts talking to you about chemtrails. You know 00:14:51.840 --> 00:14:53.820 what I mean? Yeah. Like that's the vibe New Hampshire 00:14:53.820 --> 00:14:56.360 gives off. That is for sure a New Hampshire vibe. 00:14:56.580 --> 00:15:00.500 I've ever heard one before. Like the government's 00:15:00.500 --> 00:15:03.039 trying to take your guns, but also aliens are 00:15:03.039 --> 00:15:05.159 going to take you. I'll, I'll try and find like 00:15:05.159 --> 00:15:06.659 an update on this. Cause like I said, I didn't 00:15:06.659 --> 00:15:09.840 like, I didn't go through state by state. Right. 00:15:10.019 --> 00:15:11.419 So I'll try to find out where like where New 00:15:11.419 --> 00:15:13.080 Hampshire, where Massachusetts actually sits 00:15:13.080 --> 00:15:15.159 on it. Cause I don't know if they did all 50. 00:15:15.179 --> 00:15:17.179 I think they might've just been like, these are 00:15:17.179 --> 00:15:19.220 the top. And then everything else is just kind 00:15:19.220 --> 00:15:21.240 of like by region of the country instead of like 00:15:21.240 --> 00:15:23.899 by states individually. But yeah. So if you live 00:15:23.899 --> 00:15:25.559 in New Hampshire. I found a weird database a 00:15:25.559 --> 00:15:31.799 long time ago. that had alien UFO sightings. 00:15:32.960 --> 00:15:35.899 And the neighborhood that I live in actually 00:15:35.899 --> 00:15:38.179 showed up a number of times, more times than 00:15:38.179 --> 00:15:39.960 I felt comfortable with, given that this is a 00:15:39.960 --> 00:15:44.460 national database. You know, it's just one person. 00:15:45.240 --> 00:15:48.460 It could be. It could be. There's a big park 00:15:48.460 --> 00:15:53.110 near my house and multiple sightings. happen 00:15:53.110 --> 00:15:56.250 in this park of UFO activity. Just the UFOs. 00:15:56.250 --> 00:16:00.049 No reported abductions in this town. I guess 00:16:00.049 --> 00:16:02.070 we're like a flyover area when they're going 00:16:02.070 --> 00:16:05.850 up to New Hampshire to collect. Massachusetts 00:16:05.850 --> 00:16:13.789 is the Midwest of... But so basically they go 00:16:13.789 --> 00:16:16.710 from New York and then Massachusetts is the flyover 00:16:16.710 --> 00:16:19.490 state as it gets to. Got it. Got it. Got it. 00:16:19.509 --> 00:16:21.110 Exactly. I mean, that makes sense. I get it. 00:16:21.129 --> 00:16:22.830 Yeah. Plus Massachusetts. Yeah. Depending on 00:16:22.830 --> 00:16:24.049 how you look at it, it's kind of like a runway. 00:16:24.129 --> 00:16:25.470 They probably just go straight across the middle, 00:16:25.529 --> 00:16:27.970 like just straight down. Exactly. I like it. 00:16:27.990 --> 00:16:31.309 I like that theory a lot. I guess my aunt on 00:16:31.309 --> 00:16:35.029 my dad's side had not an abduction situation, 00:16:35.309 --> 00:16:42.230 but her car was followed by a UFO. Okay. She 00:16:42.230 --> 00:16:45.529 reported that the car completely died and the 00:16:45.529 --> 00:16:47.809 UFO flew over. I feel like that's super common 00:16:47.809 --> 00:16:52.070 in UFO. Yes. Either your battery dies or everything 00:16:52.070 --> 00:16:54.269 just starts going haywire inside. Your electronics 00:16:54.269 --> 00:16:57.289 get all fucked up. I can't remember exactly where 00:16:57.289 --> 00:16:59.970 my father said she was, but I feel like she was 00:16:59.970 --> 00:17:05.019 actually driving in New Hampshire. Goddamn, dude. 00:17:05.059 --> 00:17:09.259 My state is a nightmare, dude. I love New Hampshire. 00:17:09.619 --> 00:17:12.460 It's one of my favorite places to go, but I wouldn't 00:17:12.460 --> 00:17:14.539 want to live there because I'm going to get abducted. 00:17:14.740 --> 00:17:17.799 See, what's weird is that I grew up in New Hampshire, 00:17:17.859 --> 00:17:21.779 obviously. I was there for 30 plus years. I never 00:17:21.779 --> 00:17:23.599 had, I never saw you, dude. I've never even seen 00:17:23.599 --> 00:17:25.819 a fucking shooting star. All right. Let alone 00:17:25.819 --> 00:17:28.119 a UFO. You've never seen a shooting star. I know 00:17:28.119 --> 00:17:30.400 my life isn't filled with whimsy. Okay. It sucks. 00:17:30.579 --> 00:17:33.519 Okay. All right. But I live like 20 miles outside 00:17:33.519 --> 00:17:35.920 of Boston. I see him all the time. Yeah. I haven't 00:17:35.920 --> 00:17:37.799 seen it. It's probably just space trash. Now 00:17:37.799 --> 00:17:39.000 that I think about it. Yeah. You're probably 00:17:39.000 --> 00:17:41.460 just seeing parts of fucking SpaceX rockets. 00:17:44.299 --> 00:17:46.599 but no like i i've never had a i've never seen 00:17:46.599 --> 00:17:49.640 a ufo like my buddy justin uh co -host of the 00:17:49.640 --> 00:17:51.960 cool parents podcast he's seen like you mean 00:17:51.960 --> 00:17:54.059 like he has a really cool one i'm not gonna share 00:17:54.059 --> 00:17:56.940 it because it's not my story to share but like 00:17:56.940 --> 00:17:58.559 every i mean i know a few people who've had one 00:17:58.559 --> 00:18:00.380 i'm like what the fuck man like you guys aren't 00:18:00.380 --> 00:18:02.319 even that really into it why why i think you 00:18:02.319 --> 00:18:03.740 know what it is heartbreaking it's just like 00:18:03.740 --> 00:18:06.180 how henry zabrowski always says he's never it's 00:18:06.180 --> 00:18:08.529 because i want it too bad It's the same reason 00:18:08.529 --> 00:18:10.849 why I've never seen a ghost. It's because I want 00:18:10.849 --> 00:18:12.849 it too bad. You want it too bad, yeah. You're 00:18:12.849 --> 00:18:16.910 not going to see it. Yeah, it sucks. It's a bummer, 00:18:16.910 --> 00:18:20.390 man. I thought I saw one in Iraq, but I'm pretty 00:18:20.390 --> 00:18:22.569 confident it was just a drone. A ghost or a UFO? 00:18:23.130 --> 00:18:26.170 No, I thought I saw a UFO, but I'm pretty sure 00:18:26.170 --> 00:18:29.690 it was just a drone. Probably. I was also sleep 00:18:29.690 --> 00:18:32.569 -deprived at that point. When you were there, 00:18:32.630 --> 00:18:37.059 were drones what they are now? No, I mean, they 00:18:37.059 --> 00:18:39.500 weren't as advanced as they are now, but we had 00:18:39.500 --> 00:18:44.119 drones. We had like, you know, we had something 00:18:44.119 --> 00:18:46.119 called a Scan Eagle. It was like a little airplane. 00:18:46.480 --> 00:18:49.140 Oh, yeah. No, you know what we did? I remember 00:18:49.140 --> 00:18:53.200 now because Obama kept blowing up weddings. I 00:18:53.200 --> 00:18:58.819 remember that. Yeah, we had those and they all 00:18:58.819 --> 00:19:00.319 looked like little airplanes. I don't think we 00:19:00.319 --> 00:19:03.309 had like the quadcopter ones. all the ones that 00:19:03.309 --> 00:19:05.269 i saw were like they're called like ravens or 00:19:05.269 --> 00:19:07.269 scan eagles they're little little tiny drones 00:19:07.269 --> 00:19:09.089 and then of course we had the predators and all 00:19:09.089 --> 00:19:11.349 that big shit i feel like the quad ones are those 00:19:11.349 --> 00:19:14.730 are like the ones where like you see like footage 00:19:14.730 --> 00:19:17.150 from them and it's like they'll fly into a house 00:19:17.150 --> 00:19:18.849 and they'll look like a terrorist right in the 00:19:18.849 --> 00:19:20.769 face then fucking explode i'm like that's the 00:19:20.769 --> 00:19:24.869 most terrifying dude like that is not cool like 00:19:24.869 --> 00:19:28.319 that's Too much. It's too much. Because when 00:19:28.319 --> 00:19:30.279 you see that, you're like, oh, fuck. You know 00:19:30.279 --> 00:19:32.680 it's coming. You see the look of terror on their 00:19:32.680 --> 00:19:34.240 face, and you're like, I don't like this. No, 00:19:34.240 --> 00:19:36.200 dude. I don't want this at all. Yeah, because 00:19:36.200 --> 00:19:37.440 what are you going to do? It's like stepping 00:19:37.440 --> 00:19:39.740 on a landmine. Once you hear that click, you're 00:19:39.740 --> 00:19:41.940 like, well, it's over. It's either I'm dead or 00:19:41.940 --> 00:19:44.519 half my body's gone, and I'm walking on my hands 00:19:44.519 --> 00:19:47.119 from now on. Exactly. I'm not trying to deal 00:19:47.119 --> 00:19:50.579 with that. Yeah, so anyways, UFOs, they might 00:19:50.579 --> 00:19:53.099 abduct you. Look out for betting odds on Polymarket 00:19:53.099 --> 00:20:00.779 soon. Our next story, a controversial claim suggesting 00:20:00.779 --> 00:20:03.680 that extraterrestrial influence may be present 00:20:03.680 --> 00:20:07.000 within human DNA has gained renewed traction 00:20:07.000 --> 00:20:09.339 online following the circulation of a research 00:20:09.339 --> 00:20:11.599 theory proposing that certain genetic sequences 00:20:11.599 --> 00:20:15.220 may have been artificially introduced. It's the 00:20:15.220 --> 00:20:17.599 fucking vaccines, dude. Come on. It's the vaccines. 00:20:17.619 --> 00:20:20.279 It's the vaccines. Go ahead. Jesus. The claim 00:20:20.279 --> 00:20:22.500 focuses on the observation that some traits and 00:20:22.500 --> 00:20:24.640 genetic markers do not always follow expected 00:20:24.640 --> 00:20:27.259 patterns of inheritance. According to these, 00:20:27.440 --> 00:20:29.920 sorry, according to those promoting the theory. 00:20:30.700 --> 00:20:32.799 These irregularities raise questions about how 00:20:32.799 --> 00:20:35.359 specific sequences originated, leading to the 00:20:35.359 --> 00:20:39.160 suggestion that external intervention may have 00:20:39.160 --> 00:20:41.339 played a role. I already don't like this. I'm 00:20:41.339 --> 00:20:43.180 going to stop for a second because it reminds 00:20:43.180 --> 00:20:45.400 me too much of ancient aliens. And I fucking 00:20:45.400 --> 00:20:48.740 hate ancient aliens because it just whitewashes. 00:20:49.420 --> 00:20:54.170 Yep. It does. These primitives are too stupid 00:20:54.170 --> 00:20:58.390 to make a pyramid. Yeah, I hate it so much. Again, 00:20:59.549 --> 00:21:01.730 this is just news in the world that we live in. 00:21:02.009 --> 00:21:03.369 I don't mean like the world. Well, obviously 00:21:03.369 --> 00:21:04.650 it's in our world, but I mean like the paranormal 00:21:04.650 --> 00:21:08.289 world. Nobody tell RFK this or he's going to 00:21:08.289 --> 00:21:13.009 start building different kinds of camps. The 00:21:13.009 --> 00:21:15.410 researchers argue that certain genetic features 00:21:15.410 --> 00:21:18.569 appear without a clearly traceable lineage, prompting 00:21:18.569 --> 00:21:21.109 speculation that these sequences could have been 00:21:21.109 --> 00:21:23.549 inserted at some point in human development. 00:21:23.650 --> 00:21:25.769 The theory frames that these anomalies as potential 00:21:25.769 --> 00:21:29.609 evidence of deliberate modification by non -human 00:21:29.609 --> 00:21:32.470 intelligence. Despite the attention it has received, 00:21:32.589 --> 00:21:34.970 this research, again, has not undergone peer 00:21:34.970 --> 00:21:38.089 review and no major scientific institution has 00:21:38.089 --> 00:21:42.890 endorsed it or corroborated any of it. Genetic 00:21:42.890 --> 00:21:47.549 experts have noted that variations in DNA expression, 00:21:47.829 --> 00:21:51.569 mutation, and recombination are well -established 00:21:51.569 --> 00:21:53.930 phenomena that can account for unexpected traits 00:21:53.930 --> 00:21:57.349 obviously without extraterrestrial influence. 00:21:57.869 --> 00:22:01.380 But again, Anytime something like this happens, 00:22:01.500 --> 00:22:05.200 it's always spread online frequently. Oh, of 00:22:05.200 --> 00:22:07.740 course. Yeah, of course. There is nothing the 00:22:07.740 --> 00:22:10.220 media likes more than to read like a footnote 00:22:10.220 --> 00:22:12.819 in a research paper and turn it into an entire 00:22:12.819 --> 00:22:15.500 article. Well, you're bold assumption that I 00:22:15.500 --> 00:22:19.359 got any of this from mainstream media. That just 00:22:19.359 --> 00:22:24.319 means it's way worse. They don't have to fact 00:22:24.319 --> 00:22:27.750 check shit. Every website you checked was probably 00:22:27.750 --> 00:22:30.490 like green font and a black background. Yeah, 00:22:30.490 --> 00:22:32.470 dude. And trying to read that after drinking 00:22:32.470 --> 00:22:36.670 a bunch of fucking soju. Nice. Yeah. We went 00:22:36.670 --> 00:22:39.450 to a Japanese place for brunch. It's fucking 00:22:39.450 --> 00:22:43.269 delicious, dude. I'm jealous. I don't have a 00:22:43.269 --> 00:22:46.190 lot of good brunch places near me, buddy. All 00:22:46.190 --> 00:22:49.009 right. So anyways, back to this bullshit story. 00:22:49.589 --> 00:22:51.970 The idea that extraterrestrial beings may have 00:22:51.970 --> 00:22:53.630 influenced human evolution has been presented 00:22:53.630 --> 00:22:57.769 in various forms for. A long fucking time. However, 00:22:57.910 --> 00:22:59.950 the framing of the concept in terms of modern 00:22:59.950 --> 00:23:01.970 genetic research has allowed it to reach new 00:23:01.970 --> 00:23:04.170 audiences and reenter the public conversation 00:23:04.170 --> 00:23:06.430 in a different context. Not really, though. It's 00:23:06.430 --> 00:23:08.049 the same context. It's just now that we live 00:23:08.049 --> 00:23:09.890 in a world where this could be possible, but 00:23:09.890 --> 00:23:13.130 more so human internet. What was that thing? 00:23:13.470 --> 00:23:15.849 I don't want to say blue sky. Where you could 00:23:15.849 --> 00:23:18.670 just change the DNA of your baby. You know what 00:23:18.670 --> 00:23:21.109 I'm talking about? You want blue -eyed babies? 00:23:21.390 --> 00:23:23.079 We'll give you blue -eyed babies. What was that? 00:23:23.140 --> 00:23:26.180 CRISPR? Was it CRISPR? CRISPR, yep. Gene editing. 00:23:26.480 --> 00:23:29.240 Yeah. Dude, the fact that you could just do that. 00:23:30.059 --> 00:23:34.839 Not okay. I mean, here's the thing. Sure, I would 00:23:34.839 --> 00:23:37.960 have liked to have been taller, but I'm not comfortable 00:23:37.960 --> 00:23:43.420 because what did you do? to my dna that i don't 00:23:43.420 --> 00:23:45.259 know about because like the way i looked at it 00:23:45.259 --> 00:23:47.319 is like but also this is like they did this shit 00:23:47.319 --> 00:23:49.200 like in their fucking garage dude like this wasn't 00:23:49.200 --> 00:23:51.900 like yeah like it wasn't like a lab like these 00:23:51.900 --> 00:23:54.400 motherfuckers were just doing this yeah but i'm 00:23:54.400 --> 00:23:57.480 saying like if you change one piece of the dna 00:23:57.480 --> 00:24:01.980 will that have a cascade effect like if they 00:24:01.980 --> 00:24:04.180 make you taller is it also gonna make like one 00:24:04.180 --> 00:24:07.339 toe extremely long like what about the hog dude 00:24:07.339 --> 00:24:10.359 can i get like what if i want to be hogged out 00:24:10.880 --> 00:24:12.920 But the thing is, if they make that longer, would 00:24:12.920 --> 00:24:14.839 your nipples also be longer? You don't know. 00:24:14.940 --> 00:24:16.980 That's true. And I feel like we're not there 00:24:16.980 --> 00:24:18.799 yet where we can start seeing the effects of 00:24:18.799 --> 00:24:23.579 it. Right. This is a take time operation, I feel 00:24:23.579 --> 00:24:25.259 like. It's going to be another X -Men situation, 00:24:25.599 --> 00:24:29.619 I think. Yeah. Like mutants will be walking among 00:24:29.619 --> 00:24:31.839 us. They'll be like blue eyed and gorgeous, but 00:24:31.839 --> 00:24:36.440 they'll have like 47 toes on one leg. I mean, 00:24:36.460 --> 00:24:40.859 if. That's like a hard price to pay for blue 00:24:40.859 --> 00:24:42.680 eyes is all I'm saying. Yeah, but all I'm saying 00:24:42.680 --> 00:24:44.700 is that if they're smoking hot and gorgeous and 00:24:44.700 --> 00:24:47.099 they have 47 toes, that's an only fair thing 00:24:47.099 --> 00:24:50.539 to happen. That's a foot finder career if I ever 00:24:50.539 --> 00:24:53.559 heard one. Quentin Tarantino found his next muse. 00:24:57.539 --> 00:25:00.200 Oh, shit. All right. Yeah, so this is the last 00:25:00.200 --> 00:25:02.599 bit of the story and then we'll move on. At present. 00:25:02.970 --> 00:25:04.970 Obviously, there is no verified evidence supporting 00:25:04.970 --> 00:25:06.829 the claim that non -human entities have altered 00:25:06.829 --> 00:25:09.509 human DNA. The theory remains unconfirmed, but 00:25:09.509 --> 00:25:11.769 continues to circulate due to its ability to 00:25:11.769 --> 00:25:14.470 reinterpret familiar biological concepts in a 00:25:14.470 --> 00:25:17.349 speculative framework. This story comes around 00:25:17.349 --> 00:25:19.369 once every, like, three years, so it's not anything 00:25:19.369 --> 00:25:25.589 new. If there are aliens here on Earth, it's 00:25:25.589 --> 00:25:30.849 octopi. Octopus? Octopi? Octopods. Dude, anything 00:25:30.849 --> 00:25:33.309 that's fucking... like in that like midnight 00:25:33.309 --> 00:25:35.410 zone where everything is fucking like that's 00:25:35.410 --> 00:25:38.789 all alien to me anglerfish yeah i hate it all 00:25:38.789 --> 00:25:41.150 of it there's that fucking the 10 guild 8 guild 00:25:41.150 --> 00:25:43.430 shark or whatever the fuck that eats once a year 00:25:43.430 --> 00:25:45.789 when a whale fucking hits the bottom yeah they 00:25:45.789 --> 00:25:47.970 just hang out that's not normal that's i hate 00:25:47.970 --> 00:25:50.710 it all yeah i hate it all yeah okay we want to 00:25:50.710 --> 00:25:53.029 move on to something fun yeah there's more conspiracy 00:25:53.029 --> 00:25:55.970 than anything And I kind of dig it. Recent activity 00:25:55.970 --> 00:25:57.990 involving the registration of government web 00:25:57.990 --> 00:26:00.329 domains has drawn attention after it was confirmed 00:26:00.329 --> 00:26:03.190 that federal agencies secured the addresses alien 00:26:03.190 --> 00:26:11.289 .gov and aliens .gov. Jesus fucking Christ. What? 00:26:11.990 --> 00:26:15.390 What does that bum you out? That's fun. No, I, 00:26:15.529 --> 00:26:17.589 you know what it is? It's those fucking doge 00:26:17.589 --> 00:26:20.410 idiots. The ones that like didn't get laid off. 00:26:20.450 --> 00:26:22.309 They're still hanging around, just buying up 00:26:22.309 --> 00:26:25.519 shit and doing dumb stuff. Well, they did say 00:26:25.519 --> 00:26:28.799 that, well, I mean, they said it, but they were 00:26:28.799 --> 00:26:31.640 like, we're going to release alien stuff. Maybe 00:26:31.640 --> 00:26:35.619 this. And they did not. Yes. All right. Have 00:26:35.619 --> 00:26:38.480 faith, Sarge. All right. This administration 00:26:38.480 --> 00:26:42.500 does not lead us astray ever. Right. That's why 00:26:42.500 --> 00:26:47.380 I paid $3 .99 for gas today. It's $4 .45. Jesus 00:26:47.380 --> 00:26:50.500 Christ. It's not great. The cheapest I found 00:26:50.500 --> 00:26:53.279 up here is $3 .75. Now remember, it's $4 .45 00:26:53.279 --> 00:26:55.279 if you're paying cash. It's $4 .55. Why did I 00:26:55.279 --> 00:26:56.940 go to Iraq? I thought we were supposed to have 00:26:56.940 --> 00:26:59.359 cheap gas prices after that. Dude, we took over 00:26:59.359 --> 00:27:04.140 Venezuela. This should be cheap. We stole a country. 00:27:04.660 --> 00:27:08.660 Why is my fucking gas so expensive, dude? Boots 00:27:08.660 --> 00:27:10.200 on the ground. Boots on the ground. Boots on 00:27:10.200 --> 00:27:12.640 the ground. The registration was identified through 00:27:12.640 --> 00:27:14.900 publicly accessible domain tracking records and 00:27:14.900 --> 00:27:17.559 quickly gained traction online. The discovery 00:27:17.559 --> 00:27:19.240 comes at a time of heightened public interest 00:27:19.240 --> 00:27:21.740 in unidentified aerial phenomenon as well as 00:27:21.740 --> 00:27:23.660 ongoing discussions regarding the release of 00:27:23.660 --> 00:27:25.759 previous classified government materials related 00:27:25.759 --> 00:27:27.500 to UFO sightings. We're never going to see that. 00:27:27.819 --> 00:27:31.059 Nope. At this time, no official statement has 00:27:31.059 --> 00:27:33.160 been issued explaining the purposes of the domains. 00:27:34.029 --> 00:27:36.089 There's been no announcement of a corresponding 00:27:36.089 --> 00:27:39.009 website, no indication of when or if the domains 00:27:39.009 --> 00:27:43.289 will be used. Also, that kind of sucks. I guess 00:27:43.289 --> 00:27:46.170 you can't buy a .gov name unless you're the government, 00:27:46.309 --> 00:27:49.170 right? What if I wanted to buy alien .gov? Could 00:27:49.170 --> 00:27:51.130 I do that? I don't think so. I don't think you 00:27:51.130 --> 00:27:53.470 can buy a .gov unless you're the gov. That sucks. 00:27:53.690 --> 00:27:57.849 All right. There's been no clarification regarding 00:27:57.849 --> 00:28:01.089 which agency initiated the registrations. Government. 00:28:01.930 --> 00:28:04.069 This government domain registration is a common 00:28:04.069 --> 00:28:06.230 practice, often used to reserve names for potential 00:28:06.230 --> 00:28:08.230 future use or to prevent unauthorized parties 00:28:08.230 --> 00:28:10.069 from acquiring. Oh, so yeah, I could have. Fuck. 00:28:10.549 --> 00:28:12.069 Dude, I should have. You know how much money 00:28:12.069 --> 00:28:14.650 could have paid me for that shit? However, the 00:28:14.650 --> 00:28:16.789 specific terminology used in these registrations 00:28:16.789 --> 00:28:18.890 has contributed to increased public curiosity, 00:28:19.230 --> 00:28:22.470 particularly given the timing. The registrations 00:28:22.470 --> 00:28:24.529 coincided with continued efforts by various government 00:28:24.529 --> 00:28:26.809 bodies to address public interest in UFO related 00:28:26.809 --> 00:28:29.730 topics, including hearings, reports and statements 00:28:29.730 --> 00:28:32.329 acknowledging the existence of unexplained aerial 00:28:32.329 --> 00:28:34.630 encounters. While there is no confirmed connection 00:28:34.630 --> 00:28:36.769 between the domain registration and any like 00:28:36.769 --> 00:28:39.250 forthcoming disclosures, the overlap in timing 00:28:39.250 --> 00:28:41.369 has led to increased attention and speculation. 00:28:41.430 --> 00:28:45.829 So for now, they're just two inactive dormant 00:28:45.829 --> 00:28:48.119 domains. And then no one knows what they're going 00:28:48.119 --> 00:28:50.200 to be used for, but you're right. It probably 00:28:50.200 --> 00:28:52.900 is. It could be weird. It could be weird. It 00:28:52.900 --> 00:28:54.299 could be weird, but it could also just be like 00:28:54.299 --> 00:28:57.019 you said, like it's just fucking just people 00:28:57.019 --> 00:28:59.599 fueling. Like Alex Jones is probably going to 00:28:59.599 --> 00:29:01.779 fucking talk about this, that they did it. You 00:29:01.779 --> 00:29:03.579 know what I mean? Oh yeah. No, Alex Jones probably 00:29:03.579 --> 00:29:07.319 came twice. Just, just with us reading that he 00:29:07.319 --> 00:29:14.019 was remote viewing our podcast. I don't know 00:29:14.019 --> 00:29:15.700 if he's... Is that one of the things he did? 00:29:15.799 --> 00:29:18.859 Oh, yeah. He's into it. He believes it. I believe 00:29:18.859 --> 00:29:23.140 that. I got two more stories for you, Sarge. 00:29:23.259 --> 00:29:26.660 All right, let's go. In Varzinia, renewed attention 00:29:26.660 --> 00:29:28.319 has been focused on one of the country's most 00:29:28.319 --> 00:29:32.039 widely recognized UFO cases as 2026 marks the 00:29:32.039 --> 00:29:35.859 30th anniversary of the incident commonly referred 00:29:35.859 --> 00:29:39.819 to as... the Virginia alien. The case originated 00:29:39.819 --> 00:29:42.880 in January of 1996 when multiple witnesses reported 00:29:42.880 --> 00:29:45.319 seeing a strange creature in the city. Among 00:29:45.319 --> 00:29:47.680 the most widely cited accounts are those of three 00:29:47.680 --> 00:29:50.180 young women who described encountering a small 00:29:50.180 --> 00:29:53.480 humanoid being with brown, oily skin, large red 00:29:53.480 --> 00:29:56.980 eyes, and an unusual posture. In the days following 00:29:56.980 --> 00:29:59.930 the initial sighting, Additional reports emerged, 00:30:00.069 --> 00:30:02.130 including claims that military personnel were 00:30:02.130 --> 00:30:04.309 present in the area and had recovered the creature. 00:30:04.650 --> 00:30:06.470 These claims were never officially confirmed, 00:30:06.630 --> 00:30:08.609 but became central to the narrative surrounding 00:30:08.609 --> 00:30:10.829 the event. The incident quickly gained national 00:30:10.829 --> 00:30:12.750 attention in Brazil and has remained a significant 00:30:12.750 --> 00:30:15.849 part of the country's UFO related history. Over 00:30:15.849 --> 00:30:17.690 time, the story has been revisited through media 00:30:17.690 --> 00:30:19.769 coverage, documentaries and public discussion. 00:30:20.109 --> 00:30:23.369 And in 2026, new projects examining the case 00:30:23.369 --> 00:30:25.269 have brought renewed focus to both the original 00:30:25.269 --> 00:30:27.170 witness accounts and the subsequent reports. 00:30:27.789 --> 00:30:29.849 from the government that was involved. These 00:30:29.849 --> 00:30:32.589 recent explorations have revisited the timeline 00:30:32.589 --> 00:30:34.990 of events, the consistency of witness descriptions, 00:30:35.170 --> 00:30:36.809 and the way the story developed in the years 00:30:36.809 --> 00:30:38.930 following the incident. So yeah, so they're celebrating 00:30:38.930 --> 00:30:42.529 the 30th anniversary of a little brown oily guy 00:30:42.529 --> 00:30:48.569 running around. I will say, you're in Brazil. 00:30:49.690 --> 00:30:52.650 There's a small man with red eyes, with brown 00:30:52.650 --> 00:30:55.019 oily skin. Sounds like someone's just having 00:30:55.019 --> 00:30:57.140 a good time, dude. Just a sunburnt white dude. 00:30:57.480 --> 00:30:59.460 Yeah, he might have just used a little bit too 00:30:59.460 --> 00:31:03.019 much tanning oil. Yeah, yeah. I like that. That's 00:31:03.019 --> 00:31:06.460 fun. You want to see more guys, more brown guys 00:31:06.460 --> 00:31:09.200 with oily skin go to Revere Beach every summer? 00:31:11.099 --> 00:31:13.480 This is true. They don't even sit in the sand. 00:31:13.539 --> 00:31:15.440 They sit in the sidewalk in a lawn chair. Oh, 00:31:15.559 --> 00:31:18.160 that's fucking awful. You want to go get a roast 00:31:18.160 --> 00:31:20.549 beef, kid? I will say this story is pretty cool. 00:31:20.970 --> 00:31:23.269 We should probably do a full episode on it. We 00:31:23.269 --> 00:31:24.890 should. At some point. I want to know more about 00:31:24.890 --> 00:31:27.410 this. It's good. All right. Are you ready for 00:31:27.410 --> 00:31:30.730 the top story? This is our top story. The top 00:31:30.730 --> 00:31:33.529 of the hour. This is our top story. What do we 00:31:33.529 --> 00:31:37.400 got? A viral story originating online has captured 00:31:37.400 --> 00:31:39.220 widespread attention after claiming that a man 00:31:39.220 --> 00:31:41.519 in Florida was found by authorities in a distressed 00:31:41.519 --> 00:31:43.819 condition and told officers he had been abducted 00:31:43.819 --> 00:31:46.700 by dolphins and forced to assist in the construction 00:31:46.700 --> 00:31:57.740 of an underwater city. Aquaman was unavailable. 00:32:00.039 --> 00:32:03.339 According to the circulating account, the individual 00:32:03.339 --> 00:32:06.480 was discovered soaking wet and disoriented, allegedly 00:32:06.480 --> 00:32:08.579 describing an experience in which he had been 00:32:08.579 --> 00:32:11.380 taken into the ocean and made to work on a large 00:32:11.380 --> 00:32:13.720 -scale underwater structure. The story claimed 00:32:13.720 --> 00:32:16.119 that the dolphins communicated with him and directed 00:32:16.119 --> 00:32:18.339 the construction effort. As the story spread 00:32:18.339 --> 00:32:20.920 across social media platforms, additional details 00:32:20.920 --> 00:32:22.619 began to appear in different versions. Some include 00:32:22.619 --> 00:32:24.640 references to a hierarchical structure among 00:32:24.640 --> 00:32:26.900 the dolphins, while others described elements 00:32:26.900 --> 00:32:29.180 such as telepathic communication and organized 00:32:29.180 --> 00:32:32.259 coordination. The dolphin's name was Gerald, 00:32:32.339 --> 00:32:34.759 by the way, I believe. Gerald? I think that's 00:32:34.759 --> 00:32:42.619 what it was. Yeah, pretty fun. The format of 00:32:42.619 --> 00:32:44.960 the original post, which resembled a formal incident 00:32:44.960 --> 00:32:48.170 report, contributed to its rapid spread. Many 00:32:48.170 --> 00:32:50.269 readers initially interpreted the story as legitimate, 00:32:50.490 --> 00:32:53.809 particularly given that it's a Florida man story. 00:32:54.210 --> 00:32:57.869 Yeah. But local law enforcement agencies later 00:32:57.869 --> 00:32:59.269 addressed the claim directly, confirming that 00:32:59.269 --> 00:33:02.190 no such incident had occurred. Officials stated 00:33:02.190 --> 00:33:04.210 that there was no record of any arrest or report 00:33:04.210 --> 00:33:06.430 matching the description. That's what they want 00:33:06.430 --> 00:33:09.769 you to think. They're in the pocket of Big Dolphin. 00:33:09.869 --> 00:33:14.269 That's what I that's my suggestion. In response 00:33:14.269 --> 00:33:17.190 to the viral story, authorities also issued some 00:33:17.190 --> 00:33:19.190 pretty funny remarks referencing the idea of 00:33:19.190 --> 00:33:21.690 an investigative unit focused on underwater activity. 00:33:22.410 --> 00:33:25.089 But yeah, this story is not real, but it was 00:33:25.089 --> 00:33:26.990 going around TikTok for the longest time, but 00:33:26.990 --> 00:33:28.369 I thought it was too fucking funny. Oh, it makes 00:33:28.369 --> 00:33:30.410 me so sad. Yeah, it's been fully debunked. I 00:33:30.410 --> 00:33:32.430 was really hoping it was real. I want to hear 00:33:32.430 --> 00:33:34.910 this guy tell his story. Yeah, it was fully debunked, 00:33:34.910 --> 00:33:37.819 but it's one of those things where it... It's 00:33:37.819 --> 00:33:39.619 like the Miami mall thing where like it just 00:33:39.619 --> 00:33:41.920 kind of blew up. I don't, no one took it seriously. 00:33:42.119 --> 00:33:44.779 I don't obviously, but yeah, it's just funny 00:33:44.779 --> 00:33:48.660 to imagine that you're in the water. You get 00:33:48.660 --> 00:33:51.799 kidnapped by a dolphin named Gerald. And then 00:33:51.799 --> 00:33:57.099 how do you breathe though? See, I don't know. 00:33:57.200 --> 00:33:59.680 I think it probably, maybe I think he had like, 00:33:59.720 --> 00:34:04.319 maybe like a, what are those? What was that video 00:34:04.319 --> 00:34:06.599 game where you get a bubble and it's over your 00:34:06.599 --> 00:34:09.280 head? Oh, okay. Maybe something like that. Or 00:34:09.280 --> 00:34:11.579 maybe it was like a Sandy Cheeks from SpongeBob. 00:34:11.659 --> 00:34:14.800 He just had an upside down fishbowl on his head. 00:34:14.860 --> 00:34:18.880 I don't know. But yeah, obviously at this time 00:34:18.880 --> 00:34:21.699 no evidence exists to support the claim and remains 00:34:21.699 --> 00:34:23.780 an example of how quickly fabricated narratives 00:34:23.780 --> 00:34:25.539 gain traction and develop into widely believed 00:34:25.539 --> 00:34:30.280 stories. I love how dolphins were capable to 00:34:30.280 --> 00:34:36.130 design and build a large... structure. They needed 00:34:36.130 --> 00:34:40.429 the guy for what? To use the pliers because they 00:34:40.429 --> 00:34:44.210 don't have thumbs? It's probably a thumbs situation. 00:34:46.449 --> 00:34:49.610 That's clearly what it is. That's all I got. 00:34:49.809 --> 00:34:52.829 That's all for the first three months of the 00:34:52.829 --> 00:34:55.409 year. This is some of the news stories I found. 00:34:55.550 --> 00:34:56.690 I thought they were pretty funny. Frankly, this 00:34:56.690 --> 00:34:58.889 is the only news that matters. I know. I feel 00:34:58.889 --> 00:35:01.449 like we should do this once a month. I think 00:35:01.449 --> 00:35:03.940 we need it. yeah if anything if anything fun 00:35:03.940 --> 00:35:06.840 I mean because most I feel like most most cryptid 00:35:06.840 --> 00:35:09.719 stories like news is like someone saw a thing 00:35:09.719 --> 00:35:13.539 once yeah I'm not trying to report on that we 00:35:13.539 --> 00:35:15.880 might need to do this like once a quarter that 00:35:15.880 --> 00:35:17.980 way we can make sure that we have good stories 00:35:17.980 --> 00:35:21.039 yeah not just guy in Florida does a shitload 00:35:21.039 --> 00:35:23.920 of meth and then marries an alligator yeah once 00:35:23.920 --> 00:35:26.489 every three months once every four months We'll 00:35:26.489 --> 00:35:28.469 figure it out. It'll be fun. What'd you think? 00:35:28.550 --> 00:35:31.010 Any of these your favorite? You got a top story, 00:35:31.190 --> 00:35:32.849 but I feel like the Dolphin one doesn't count. 00:35:33.130 --> 00:35:37.510 I have to say the fact that New Hampshire has 00:35:37.510 --> 00:35:41.650 the largest amount of UFO sightings is not only 00:35:41.650 --> 00:35:44.190 exciting, but the least surprising bit of information 00:35:44.190 --> 00:35:46.969 I've ever heard in my life. Yeah, it's pretty, 00:35:47.030 --> 00:35:51.130 I feel like it makes sense. Yeah, and if anyone 00:35:51.130 --> 00:35:53.429 has ever driven through rural New Hampshire, 00:35:53.610 --> 00:35:56.369 you know exactly why this is unsurprising. Yeah, 00:35:56.409 --> 00:36:02.849 go to any of the notches. You got Franconia notch. 00:36:03.489 --> 00:36:05.409 Crawford notch. Yeah, if you go to any of the 00:36:05.409 --> 00:36:10.130 notches, you'll understand. It's definitely eerie 00:36:10.130 --> 00:36:12.889 at night anyways. It has a vibe where you're 00:36:12.889 --> 00:36:15.610 like, I could get abducted out here. It is. You 00:36:15.610 --> 00:36:17.610 know, I was actually just explaining this to 00:36:17.610 --> 00:36:21.309 somebody who's not from here. There is something 00:36:21.309 --> 00:36:23.989 about the wilderness in New Hampshire that is 00:36:23.989 --> 00:36:26.989 just fucking terrifying. It's not great. I've 00:36:26.989 --> 00:36:30.949 never felt that anywhere else in New England 00:36:30.949 --> 00:36:34.510 or like I spent time, you know, in Missouri and 00:36:34.510 --> 00:36:38.429 I spent some time in the woods. I've camped in 00:36:38.429 --> 00:36:42.849 a lot of places, but I have never been as pants 00:36:42.849 --> 00:36:45.510 shittingly uncomfortable as I've been in certain 00:36:45.510 --> 00:36:47.769 areas of the wilderness in New Hampshire. Yeah. 00:36:48.190 --> 00:36:49.690 And it's crazy, too, because I used to get drunk 00:36:49.690 --> 00:36:53.829 in it a lot. Yeah, that's not a good idea. Just 00:36:53.829 --> 00:36:55.789 find an access road somewhere in the woods. Just 00:36:55.789 --> 00:36:57.789 drive down there as far as you can go. Then walk. 00:36:57.949 --> 00:37:02.030 Then you just camp. Get hammered. Right. I mean, 00:37:02.050 --> 00:37:04.530 that's literally just camping for me. Yeah, I'm 00:37:04.530 --> 00:37:06.230 surprised I didn't get murdered more often. Or 00:37:06.230 --> 00:37:08.969 abducted by aliens. I say murdered more often. 00:37:09.840 --> 00:37:11.800 No, you should have been abducted by aliens. 00:37:12.320 --> 00:37:15.320 One of the two. It's either going to be a Deliverance 00:37:15.320 --> 00:37:17.340 -style thing or it's going to be abducted by 00:37:17.340 --> 00:37:21.019 aliens. Who knows? That's the episode. I loved 00:37:21.019 --> 00:37:23.980 it. I think it was a lot of fun. Some of these 00:37:23.980 --> 00:37:27.980 stories are crazy. If people out there, if listeners 00:37:27.980 --> 00:37:30.260 out there get weird news stories that you come 00:37:30.260 --> 00:37:33.800 across, send them to us. I feel like the Cryptid 00:37:33.800 --> 00:37:36.619 News Network could be a recurring thing. If we 00:37:36.619 --> 00:37:38.960 find the right stuff. I'm not just going to... 00:37:39.289 --> 00:37:41.250 I'm not going to force it. How's that? We're 00:37:41.250 --> 00:37:44.489 not going to take a story from any Tom, Dick, 00:37:44.489 --> 00:37:47.329 and Harry. This needs to be a legitimate green 00:37:47.329 --> 00:37:54.170 text on black background news story. I'll take 00:37:54.170 --> 00:37:56.110 a story from anything. What I'm saying is that 00:37:56.110 --> 00:37:59.110 if I don't have enough to do a full episode every 00:37:59.110 --> 00:38:01.849 few months, I'm not going to do it. I'm not going 00:38:01.849 --> 00:38:04.030 to force it. I'm not going to half -ass something 00:38:04.030 --> 00:38:09.860 the way I did this. It wasn't really half -assed. 00:38:10.019 --> 00:38:13.500 You found some news on the internet. Yeah. It 00:38:13.500 --> 00:38:16.199 was good. It was fun. I'm actually sad about 00:38:16.199 --> 00:38:18.360 the dolphin one. I really wanted that to be... 00:38:18.360 --> 00:38:22.159 I really wanted that guy to be wholeheartedly 00:38:22.159 --> 00:38:26.139 real. Yeah, Gerald the Dolphin. I need to know 00:38:26.139 --> 00:38:28.980 where the name came from. Probably some fucking 00:38:28.980 --> 00:38:32.960 TikToker. Who knows? I don't know. More than 00:38:32.960 --> 00:38:36.639 likely. Alright, Sarge. I think that's it. Thank 00:38:36.639 --> 00:38:38.519 you so much for listening, everyone. It's good 00:38:38.519 --> 00:38:40.719 to be back. I missed all of you. I missed you, 00:38:40.760 --> 00:38:42.079 Sarge. I wasn't here last week. I missed you. 00:38:43.519 --> 00:38:45.699 All right. Is there anything you want to plug 00:38:45.699 --> 00:38:49.159 before we sign off? No, I got nothing brewing 00:38:49.159 --> 00:38:52.699 right now. I'm a busy man, but nothing fun. All 00:38:52.699 --> 00:38:56.579 right. Yeah. Thanks, everyone, again, who bought 00:38:56.579 --> 00:39:00.059 a T -shirt. Send us pictures of the T -shirt. 00:39:00.139 --> 00:39:03.019 I want to try and get a collage real thing together. 00:39:03.300 --> 00:39:05.360 If you got a shirt, send me a picture of you 00:39:05.360 --> 00:39:10.710 wearing the shirt. And I think that's it. Follow 00:39:10.710 --> 00:39:12.469 us on TikTok, Crypto Cocktail Party. Follow us 00:39:12.469 --> 00:39:14.190 on Instagram, Crypto Cocktail. Please leave us 00:39:14.190 --> 00:39:16.329 a five -star rating interview. It helps a lot. 00:39:17.230 --> 00:39:19.789 And I guess with that out of the way, Sarge, 00:39:19.789 --> 00:39:20.789 would you like to say goodbye and I love you 00:39:20.789 --> 00:39:22.949 to the audience? Goodbye and I love you.