You are now listening to cryptid cocktail party
Welcome back to another episode of Cryptic Cocktail
Party, a show where we have a few drinks, share
a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown. I'm
your host, Dave. Joined in person. In person.
I'm here. You are here. Yeah. How's it going,
handsome? I'm phenomenal. We had a great night
last night. We did. It was... It was so much
cheese. We ate a lot of cheese. I ate a lot of
cheese. I was going to say, I think it was...
I ate a lot of cheese. It was... It was good
cheese, though. Oh, it was amazing. Yeah. I don't
know about the fruit. Well, the fruit's supposed
to go with the cheese. Yeah, I'm just not a cooked
fruit guy. I don't think it was cooked. I think
you just wanted it to be cooked. I think the
peaches were cooked or whatever they were. No,
they were just like marinated, I think. I don't
know. You know what? You know what it is? It
doesn't matter because we're recording a podcast
right now. We're arguing over fruit. Yeah, I
think we're allowed to do that. Yeah, we can
argue over fruit. Yeah. Oh, my God. I'm so hungover.
Yeah. But anyway, Sarge, how are you enjoying
Philadelphia? I love it. It's like if Boston
were angrier. You think so? Yeah, you got statues
everywhere. Ben Franklin in any kind of pose
you could ever imagine him in. Yeah, there are
a lot of Ben Franklin statues. Yeah. We saw a
picture of Ben Franklin wearing a gas mask at
the coffee shop. That was ominous. I didn't know
what that meant, but I liked it. It's just a
cool street art. Yeah, I liked it. I liked it,
so I'm not complaining by any stretch. It's not
a bad city. No, I like it. It's crazy easier
to navigate than Boston. Oh, God, yeah. Oh, God,
yeah. Boston was designed by somebody who was
going through a real serious, like... psychedelic
experience. Well, I feel like Boston, all they
did was they just took all the horse cart roads.
Yeah. Like, yeah, we'll just pave over that.
Yeah. Let's just put down some cobblestones,
call it a street. Yeah. I mean, and you can only,
it's only a one way you, you can't go up the
street. You can only go down it, but it works
to a degree. Does it though? I mean, the roads
weren't made for cars. No, they weren't. They
weren't. There's, I mean, there's some things
that anyways, Sarge. I'm so glad you're here.
I'm so glad to be here. Yeah, happy belated birthday.
Thank you. My birthday was yesterday. Yeah. And
it was a good one. We had good food. We drank
a great deal of alcohol. But then I drank water
because I'm a responsible adult. I did on and
off. Well, there was also alcohol in some of
my water, but I drank it. Oh, man. All right,
sorry. So for this week, I didn't prepare an
episode. Not really. Because I didn't want to
take time out to like write and all that shit.
Yeah. So I figured since we're in the same room,
normally this is a audio medium that we do. Right.
But I figured since we're in the same room, this
will be probably the one and only episode that
we'll ever put on YouTube. Yes. So to get the
most out of the listening experience, you should
probably. Watch this on YouTube. I mean, you
can listen to it. I'm sure it's fine. Yeah, it's
fine. It'll be fine. It'll be a good time. So
I figured what I do. So I follow a lot of content
aggregators. You want to call it content? Content
aggregators. I don't think they're producing,
but it's all just like the worst cryptid and
alien. Most of it's probably AI. Definitely is
AI. But it's really funny. A veritable shit parochy
of AI. Yes, exactly. So I figured I saved a few
for us to watch. Okay. We'll watch them. Really,
the gem of them is not even the actual content.
It's the comments. Of course. Because it's always
50 -50 split between this is 100 % real. And
then there's like, you guys. Are so dumb. Those
are my favorites. And some of them are good.
So I figure what we do is we would watch a couple.
We'll watch the ones that I saved, and then maybe
we'll just end up scrolling through a couple.
All right. So I don't have many, but some of
them. We'll start with this one. Okay. So the
caption is Caribbean mermaid sighting resurface.
Why? I don't know. But it's a mermaid. I like
how it's even in AI, they can't hold the camera
steady. Oh, no. They can't follow it. I don't
even know what I'm looking at here. You're looking
at a mermaid. It's a Caribbean mermaid sightings.
Clearly, they have high resolution, right? Yeah.
But there's the mermaid, right? And then it goes
out of frame, and they don't bother ever bringing
it back. You can't get a close -up. I don't want
to see the guy in the orange jacket. Show me
the fucking mermaid, you clown. So my favorite
comment is just the first one. I was in the U
.S. Navy and I saw this almost identically. Mermaids
are real. This is actually the best video I ever
saw that is the closest to my experience. What
the guy doesn't tell you is he was never on a
boat. ever. Just like at a desk somewhere. Mermaid
walked through the office. This is another comment.
Folks, folks, if you look on the dark web private
fishermen that hunt these with special equipment
show pictures, there's no punctuation. Hunt these
with special equipment, show pictures of the
different species they catch. And yes, some do
have hair and are fairly beautiful compared to
the standards. What standards? There are ones
that eat humans, parenthesis, sirens. Ugly, scary
looking ones that are very dangerous to encounter.
But back to what I was saying. They haven't said
anything yet. I don't even know where he's going
with this. Back to what I was saying. They post
their weight, sex, hair, and eye color, every
detail, and they are very real. Very is all caps.
Sailors have been counting them for years, recalling
their screams, jump for me, others sing songs
that put men in a trance, parentheses sirens.
These have abilities. The pretty ones don't and
are more violent. A woman that crashed off the
coast of the islands. Just the islands. You know,
the islands. Reported being saved by one. Well,
none of the men aboard survived. So I don't think.
They can't harm women, or women aren't affected
by their songs or screams. It is possible it
has to do with the curse God placed on them for
sleeping with fallen angels and burying them
children of renown. What? Huge giants that are
half angelic beings, half man, known to us as
the Nephilim. I think whoever wrote that is having
a severe psychotic episode. I just love the fact
that no matter what... any cryptid alien whatever
post someone always finds a way to bring it back
to the nephilim yeah there's always it's going
to be some kind of biblical reference no matter
what you do dude it's so good i just don't understand
how you can go from mermaids to apparently they're
cursed and they slept with man and now there's
nephilim or is that why they saved the women
Was that when the mermaid saved the woman and
ate the men? Is it because the women were cursed?
Women are cursed? Yeah, I don't know. I don't
know what they were driving at. I can't figure
it out. Well, yeah, and there was no punctuation
besides parentheses, so just let us know that
they're sirens. Yeah, whatever it is. Sirens.
Sirens in the islands. All right, so this is
what we got next. The mountains. Okay. Where
is this? I'm pretty sure that's literally just
PETA from the Hunger Games when he dresses up
as a rock. That's 100 % what that is. That is
just PETA from the Hunger Games. No, it definitely
looks like that kid. Yeah. But, you know, what
if we were never meant to uncover the fact that
what if the mountains that we beneath, first
of all, the mountains beneath our feet. Oh, yeah.
The mountains beneath our feet. Not above us.
No, we're currently on a mountain right now.
We're at sea level. We're at Mount shit pierogi.
Look at this. Look at the... Hold on. Wait for
it to come back. As it gets closer, when it does
the close -up, you got like one nose hair. Right
there. See it? Real good. I just like how...
I don't understand how they went from far away.
It's the worst quality video you've ever seen
in your entire life. But when they zoom in somehow,
it just gets so detailed. You can see every crevice.
Every nose hair. Oh, man. That's a rock lobster
right there. Top comment. Bro, that's just PETA
from Hunger Games. Oh, God. Yes, very true. I
didn't read any of the captions for what they're
trying to say, but it's pretty funny. GIF is
so good. It's just a dog. Blinking its eyes.
So sad. Wish I could touch that rock. Poor giant.
What? It's not real, man. What do you mean? What
if the mountains that are beneath our feet are...
You need to take the internet away from old people.
What's crazy is this is Instagram. I feel like
most old people don't use Instagram. No, I think
what's happening is that old people are aging
into Instagram. Meaning they weren't old when
they downloaded. They were probably like 40 when
it started, and now they're... Okay, and now
they're just... Now they're reaching the end.
Bro, that's just PETA from Hunger Games. Such
a good comment. Oh, it's so good. Oh, so this
is from a page called Squatch Watch 1. Okay.
Which I don't know if there was another Squatch.
So that means there's a Squatch watch. Another
page. And they were like, fuck, we'll just add
a one. There's probably a lawsuit coming. Can
you translate some of the Spanish ones? Sure.
It's got to be good. Giants walked with dinosaurs.
Oh, I'm dying. Giants walked with dinosaurs and
all were exterminated to create human. How does
that work? You kill a dinosaur to make humans?
Yeah. Oh, wait. Hold on. This one, too. Where
is that at? Where is this at? Is it at AI? Yeah,
dude. I mean, technically, no. It's PETA from
The Hunger Games. New heaven, new earth. Oh,
what? I like this. If it's flesh and blood, then
it should become mud or clay. Only bones left,
not the whole person. And above that, a petrified
person doesn't make sense. You know what? That
guy with one really complicated name, I think
you're right. I don't think this makes sense.
Well, let's see what people have to say about
this. Medusa. Yep. Come on, man. I wonder if
they thought that was like, just negates everything.
He's like, Medusa, got him. Excellent response
to, if it's flesh and blood, then it should become
clay or only bones left. Unless you, have you
considered Medusa? But have you considered? Now,
I really want you to think about this. Have you
ever thought that maybe the mythical creature?
Of Greek lore. That's Medusa. Yeah. Have you
considered it, though? Have you considered the
thing that definitely doesn't exist? The snake
lady? Have you thought about that? Yeah. They
do look like a face. Oh, God. Hold on. I feel
like you were onto something, but I don't know
exactly where to put my finger on it. Now, I
want to know if that's in response to the flesh
and blood thing or if that's Medusa. Oh, and
here we go. Brought it back. Nephilim. Oh. Yep.
You weren't lying. I feel like we should just
play this game where we just watch these videos,
read the comments, and then by the time we hit
Nephilim, that's when we know we need to move
on to the next one. That's the way we score it,
too. Like how quickly Nephilim shows up. This
is a one Nephilim situation. Yeah, that's...
Fuck, dude. Goddamn. Impressive. Literally just
PETA from... Alright, so I don't know... Can
I share sound? Is that a thing? like how do we
here we go all right so we're gonna we're gonna
start this over can i like because we need to
watch it from the beginning what if early 20th
century marvels were relics of a lost tartarian
god Oh, Christ. Oh, man. Why? The AI narration
really does it for me. In the shitty filter they
put over it that just keeps repeating the same
artifacts. What the fuck is happening here? It
looks like that building is bleeding. Oh, she's
flashing the crowd. Maybe the Empire didn't fall
at all. Maybe it was simply renamed, and we've
been living among its ghosts ever since. Who
wants to live in a world like that? I don't know.
Who wants to live in a world where you're walking
across a bridge and a face just pops out and
starts yelling at you? It does sound terrifying.
It does sound ideal. But have you considered
Medusa? I'm trying to figure out where I can
put my finger on it. History is erased and hidden
by the elite and resold over and over. None of
that makes any fucking sense. I don't even know.
What are you saying? What they're saying is that
I, Klaus Schwab, the founder of the WEF, has
said over and over the great reset. Oh, no. They
reset the planet over and over. They reset the
planet over and over. The proof is everywhere.
You should still, you probably should still believe
God flooded the planet. They used harp. Did God
use harp? So God invented harp. Yeah. Okay. I
don't know if he knows, but harp is biblical.
Right. It's in the Bible. Yeah. No, it's right
next to the talking donkey. Yeah. Yeah. That
is in the Bible, by the way. I heard that. Harp?
The talking donkey. Oh, yeah. Like from Shrek?
Is donkey from Shrek biblically accurate? Biblically
accurate donkey. Yes. Someone responded to her
harp thing with, they messed with a lot. What?
I think they wanted to do through. Maybe. They
messed with a lot, Trough. Three. Oh, three world
wars. All right. What the, can you, can you make
sense of this? I can't read three world wars
already that they only count those from 19th
century as first and second in 1835. There was
another one against the Manchurian and Tartarian
empire. God person has never once read anything
about history. No, but it's great. I'm going
to plug in my life. I'm just going to die. That
whole comment is just a fever dream. Yeah, all
of it's illegible. Oh, that's though. That's
not through. They messed with it a lot, though.
Three World Wars. I like that the Manchurians
got involved. I'm glad they got a shout out.
I like that we had three World Wars. Well, I
mean, when you think about it, we've actually
probably had a lot of world wars. You could probably
consider Napoleon's whole campaign a world war.
I guess kind of one -sided. Yeah. That's why
everybody had to team up against him. Looks like
something out of Studio Ghibli. No, it doesn't.
I like Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow.
Great response. It kind of has that vibe to it.
It does. I wonder if we're going to get to Nephilim
in this one. Is this new footage of 3 -Eye Atlas?
What? Isn't that a comet? Christ almighty. Is
there something about 3 -Eye Atlas that I don't
know about? No, there's that fucking idiot from
Harvard who keeps saying it's aliens. They always
say it's aliens. It's never aliens. But this
fucking dickhead is like, oh, I think it's an
alien spaceship. And so that's probably what
this person thinks. But like, all right, so fair.
I, I, it's kind of small. So how is this new
footage of AI Atlas? I think this person's brain
is broken. All right. My brain's fucking broken
from reading these. So we get a score of no Nephilim
so far. Yeah. That's the Von Zeppelin. Zeppelin.
What is that? Like another Led Zeppelin cover
band? Yeah. I do like the, Maybe this video is
the propaganda. Oh, God. Wow. Conspiracy theories
have to have conspiracies about the conspiracies.
Yeah, I love it when conspiracy theorists eat
each other. Oh, it's so good. Anything is possible.
But yes, new towns are built on top of old towns.
The thing is, old house. The most accurate statement
in all of these comments. Yeah. But the guy wants
it to be conspiratorial. Yeah. Yeah, I agree
with that. Like, when I was in Italy, they discovered
an amphitheater underneath the town of Catania.
And so, yes, you do build new towns on old towns.
Yeah. But, like, it's not a conspiracy, bro.
It's just because it was easier to do that. Yeah,
it's just how time works. Oh, shit. all right
so there's this one doesn't have any nephilim
i mean i guess that makes sense there was really
nowhere for nephilim to come well except for
the lady with the the statue lady with the dress
who was flashing everybody i guess you're saying
that's where the nephilim nephilim come in that's
where they were hiding is under the dress i forget
what this one is but i'm sure it's funny why
does that owl have an abnormally small head i
don't The Owlman of Monan, Cornwall's Silent
Sentinel. All right. Hold on. It's like they
took a small owl and grafted it onto a large
one. Yeah. Oh, that's for sure. I mean, it's
AI. There's no way it's not. The Owlman of Monan,
Cornwall, 1976 to present. So was it born then,
or is that just one? Yeah, established in 1976.
Been kicking butt for 49 years. One of the most
famous versions of the giant owl cryptid comes
from Cornwall, England. Witnesses, usually hikers
or teens near the old Mon Juan Church, report
a giant owl -shaped creature perched in trees
roughly six to seven feet tall, legs and posture
similar to a human, wings folded in a cloak -like
shape, eyes that glow red in the dark. Sightings
spike during summers and are often accompanied
by an unnatural quiet as if the woods suddenly
go still. I don't know why I have to put that
in quotes. Woods do go still. It's just a common
occurrence in the woods. Some claim it's a guardian
spirit. Others think it's a surviving species
of giant bird unknown to science. I think it's
AI, actually. First comment, it's AI, but I like
it. Pure honesty. Now, do you think the replies
to that AI comment are going to be agreeing with
him? Or do you think they're going to be like,
that's not AI. I've seen it for myself. I think
it's going to be, I think what you just said,
I've seen it for myself. There's going to be
at least one of those. Okay. Let's see what we've
got. Wow. AI. It's so fascinating. It's a fursuit.
So probably would have got the head -to -body
ratio right. And I don't think predators have
feathers in their feet. Do they? Well, I mean,
no. Birds usually don't. Yeah, most of the time
they don't. But I think, I don't know, I think
every once in a while you get like a weird owl
that does. Maybe. The feet are definitely too
big for a natural bird. Thank you. Thank you.
I appreciate it. Why I gotta be an owl, man?
Why it gotta be an owl? Who's to say it isn't
just a giant owl? Everything was way bigger back
then before humanity. So it says before humanity
reduced the oxygen. They think that humans...
Do they think that we came around and just terraformed
the earth to be less oxygen? That's gotta be
it. What happened is after the Cambrian explosion,
humans came along and just... What we did is
we lowered the setting on there. We put the fan
on auto instead of just leaving it on. Yeah.
Yeah. So it kicks on when we need it. Yeah. If
it gets above a certain oxygen level, it just
flips a switch. I love that people like learn
scientific things, but only remember portions
of it. So they just fill in the rest. Humans
did it. That's six feet tall, ain't it? Shit.
Showing up close video of the Mothman. Oh, my
God. That's six feet tall, ain't it? Shit. That's
my favorite one so far. All right. What AI is
this so I can start mixing stuff together? How
do I also trick people into thinking things are
real when they aren't? It's got to be real. More
and more footage. Real AI. I fucking hate that.
It's got to be real. Yes, AI is real. Just like
this. Can't see the title at the top. Just constructive
criticism. Just some feedback. Let's see. Press
and hold on your screen to pause the video. All
right. This is just people helping people. All
right. I love it when a crowd comes together.
This is what him nanny is all about. Why? Pinch
the screen with two fingers. Like I want to zoom
out. It'll get rid of all the extra stuff on
the screen. All right. Oh, God. What do we got
here? Ooh. Unbelievable discovery. Video claims
to show petrified giant crocodile in mountain.
Oh, okay. Yeah. Okay. All right. All right. Wait.
Oh, there's the head. Okay. All right. So mouth
open. Yep. Mouth open. But. Yeah, there's the
tail. And then we scroll back. Yeah. And the
mouth is closed. Nope. No, the mouth is still
open. No, it's not. No, it stays open. No, it
does not. Wait, wait, wait. No. Are we debating
this right now? No, you're going to see. It stays
open. Hold on. Okay. See, it's still open. Oh,
okay. All right. Yeah, I'm just dumb. It's okay.
First, oh, this is from Semi Skeptic Podcast.
I was a guest on their show one time. Oh, awesome.
Yeah, it's called Camouflage. That's kind of
how it works. And yes, that's a normal -sized
crocodile. Just look at the plant at the bottom
left corner. Oh, they're coming in fact. So,
yeah, it might just be an actual crocodile. Yeah,
just hang it out. They do just chill out with
their mouth open sometimes. Usually that's in
water, I think, right? Yeah, but I think they
do it on land, too. How do we even know what's
real these days? Franklin, I fucking agree, buddy.
My thoughts are, if this exists, then provide
the location. Another problem I have is that
it's too perfect as far as color and shape to
be real. Looks cool, though. You're a fucking
idiot. It's obviously AI. I like this comment.
A rock -a -dile question mark? If we can have
a rock lobster and a rock pita, we can certainly
have a rock crocodile. Croc -rock. A rock -a
-dile. Crocodile rock. That Elton John song.
Oh, man. I do like this. Hmm. I'm a professional
geologist. And I'm calling BS. Nice try, though.
No offense. What is their name? Oh, rutile? No
offense, rutile, but you don't need to be a professional
geologist to call this bullshit. But also, what's
a professional geologist? Is that just someone
who has a degree in geology? Yeah, no, there's
like professional geologists. They have to do
like geological surveys and all kinds of stuff.
But I mean like... If you have a degree in geology,
whatever it's called, and you're not working
as a geologist, are you still a professional
geologist, or do you have to be employed? You
have to be employed. If you're not working and
getting paid for it, you're an amateur geologist.
You're just an amateur geologist. Yeah, that's
not how it works. What mountains? What country?
Where's the full video? I would like to see.
Seems very interesting. Oh, my God. Oh, what
does this say? Oh, yes. Let's see what this says.
This has to be good. According to physics rules,
plants are buried in the soil and become carbon
molecules and diamonds are also available. Can
a crocodile become a rock like that? Do you know
what is wounded? I'm going to say the translation
is probably not the best. Do you know what is
wounded? Do you know what is wounded? Oh, God
damn. Oh, man, I'm going to integrate that phrase
into the rest of my life. Do you know what is
wounded? First, I'm going to say, according to
physics rules, do you know what is wounded? Yeah.
Oh, that's hilarious. Maybe a mountain to ants.
What the fuck does that mean? Are they trying
to do like the Zoolander? I don't. This is a
center for ants. Oh, God. Oh, fascinating. That's
so good. All right, I got a couple more. You
know what I think is happening is that these
videos are AI, right? And then the AI comment
bots come in, and because it's an AI video, it
just breaks them. And so they, like, just can't
comment normally. Oh, yeah, that makes sense.
Sorry, I'm just checking my meter to make sure
I'm not getting fucked right now. No, you got
plenty of time. You've only been here an hour.
Oh, yeah, I do have plenty of time, don't I?
Yeah, so let's get right into it. All right.
Leaked footage, X area S1 employee. I'm assuming
that's supposed to be 51. Yeah, I think so. Claims
to have captured otherworldly being. Isn't that
just that alien from fucking Independence Day?
Independence Day. 100%. That is exactly what
that is. It's either that or it's an alien from
Doctor Who. Oh, maybe. I do like this first comment
by XX777Enlightenment777XX. If this were real,
your account would no longer exist. The government
would take it away immediately. But also not
wrong. Yeah, no, that's true. The aliens would
come for you. Or maybe they would let you keep
it up because no one believes it. If their reality
were real, yeah, the account would no longer
exist. Because if the video is real, I mean,
in our reality, yeah, like you were saying, they
would leave it up because no one's going to believe
it. I mean, the video is real. We are currently
watching the video. Yeah, this is a real video.
It is a real video. It's just not a real thing
in the video. I still don't understand. Do you
see the picture in the picture? Yeah. But why
was the smaller picture in the picture clearer
than the big one, but it was the same thing?
It's probably because it's lower resolution maybe.
It's smaller, so it looks a little bit better.
It's like when I play old school video games
on my laptop and I plug it into my laptop into
my screen monitor. Monitor, screen, monitor.
I can just say that word and not say screen at
all. But I plug it in there and you have to change
the resolution. And when you change the resolution,
the graphics look better. You lower it to meet
the graphics. Gotcha, gotcha. Sure. Yeah, sure.
You mean people? That's a comment. You mean people?
but do you what does that mean is she called
there's like she's like a you mean people or
it's like you mean people question mark is like
is she calling us me oh i see what i see where
it's coming from okay so read the comment above
so he's just holding the thing hostage i guess
but this is the footage they can get i mean come
on the person under amanda is like you you mean
people oh that's not amanda that's armando oh
i can't see shit i'm sorry This is definitely
real. Looks for sure real. Wow. Finally, some
real footage coming out. I hate this world so
much. Hold on. Why in all recorded videos from
years, you see them being tortured to say something?
What? Yeah. Are there torture videos of aliens?
I haven't seen any of them. It's on the dark
web. Gotcha. Gotcha. It's on the dark web with
the mermaid guys who are capturing and cataloging
the sex hair color. It's the only safe place.
Yeah. Parentheses sirens. Now have we considered
Medusa? I like this one. Just cap. You can see
the reflection of the guy filming an alien's
black eye. Weird that he is like holding a phone.
But it is not clear actually. No, you can't.
You can't see any of that. What are you talking
about? It's not clear, actually. Duh. Oh, my
God. This is amazing. Is this employee from Area
51 still alive? I doubt it. I don't know. I don't
know. Well, he has to still be alive. They uploaded
it. Well, I mean, he uploaded it. Is he still
alive after that? Oh, okay. I see what you're
saying. Yeah. Actually, this comment here by
Julian is my favorite. Why would an alien's features
align with our own? Two eyes, mouth, two arms,
two legs. We're talking something from light
years away, living in a potentially very different
environment. There are animals in our oceans
that look more alien than this. I think we've
got to think outside the box a little. Julian's
been vaxxed. Julian nailed it. He got it, yeah.
Looks like rubber. Oh, God damn. I'm surprised
not no Nephilim in this one. Oh, this guy says
my sculpture looks pretty cool with animated
eyes. Oh, shit. Do you think someone just stole
his video of his sculpture? Well, do you want
to check it out? He only got three likes. Well,
yeah, because no one's... I mean, let's see.
Ah, private. Boo. Nobody stole your video, you
fucking clown. Boo, you whore. All right, last
video, right? Yeah. Okay, what do we got? All
right, so this is from a different account. This
is Cryptodex Jose. Deep in the labyrinth sewers
of London. Oh, I hate that. Yeah, it's not great,
right? No. That sucks. I mean, that's cool as
fuck, but if I ever encountered something like
that, I'd probably just leave the planet. Yeah.
First comment. I know it's fake, because ain't
nobody with a shred of common sense picking that
up with their bare hands. You're 100 % correct.
Yeah, dude. It looks like the underside of a
horseshoe crab. Yeah. Oh, I hate it so much.
Nice try, Diddy. Can I pet that dog? AI getting
better. Is it though? Yeah. In Australia, we
have real spiders bigger, and I thought they
are fairly safe until it ate my dog. It ate your
dog, man. Come experience the wildlife, just
not during drop bear mating season, unless you're
into that. What's a drop bear? It's a fake thing.
It's basically like a koala. Oh, okay. Drop bears
are like... It's like a koala with razor -sharp
teeth and it jumps down from the trees and eats
you. Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha. It's not real. It's
like, you ever heard of the Pacific Northwest
tree octopus? Yes. It's kind of like that, I
think. Maybe. Oh, my God. I'm not going to read
it, but... Nope, not going to read it. Oh, that's
a good comment. Oh, my God. What's this Russian
person got to say? I constantly catch and pet
them. They are so nice. Oh, boy. Spider -Man's
son. What a load of shit. Oh, fuck, dude. This
is good. So there was one other video on this
page that I wanted to show you just because the
comments are really funny. I got to find it.
It was a... Hold on. I saw it this morning when
I was like... Getting these together. I'm still
thinking about that one comment we couldn't read.
I don't know what that thing is, but we're not
watching. Surprisingly, so Squatch Watch's page
you would think would have more Squatch. Yeah.
It's not. It's got a couple horses. Yeah, it's
got praying angel figures, a lot of mermaids,
a lot of ice wall shit. Of course they're a flat
earther. That would only make sense. Oh, yeah,
sure. I think it's this one. So it's a Bigfoot
video. Bigfoot sighting. Do you see the big...
First of all, I like that they animated the Jack
Link's jerky guy. No, I can't see shit. I saw
it for a second. Yeah. How come I saw this video
five months ago? I gotta fucking... There was
a video talking about... Or a comment talking
about how... Maybe it wasn't this one. It was
about how you can release Bigfoot footage, but
the government or someone, they make you upload
it in like 450p. Oh, the government makes you
do it. So it's always blurry. Okay. And I was
like, that's probably the smartest comment about
why it's blurry. I wish I could find it because
it's so fucking funny. Where was it? Also, this
fucking thing. I don't know what this jellyfish
guy is doing. But that's not. The luminous giant
of the deep. Yeah, that's not. Why is it floating?
It's out of the water. It's not floating. It's
on its little leggy boys. Yeah, because jellyfish
notoriously stable body. Yeah. I can't find it,
but goddamn, it was so fucking good. Jesus, look
at that scorpion with the giant testicles. Incredible.
Oh, you mean the fucking. The nudibranch. Oh,
it was this right here. This is at The Watchers.
Leaked footage of a Bigfoot family hidden in
plain sight. Hidden in plain sight. Yeah. Hidden
in plain sight. Yeah. Yes, again, real video,
but special service organs said you can share
this vid, but in a very, very low quality, maybe
in 45p, or you will miss forever. This is rule
of every Bigfoot dog man or mermaid video. And
everybody who share these vids are follow this
rule every time. Parenthesis. There was no. The
end parenthesis is great because there's no start
of the parenthesis. It's so good. It would have
been better if the beginning of his username
was a parenthesis. Yeah. And he just ended every
comment with that. He's so smart. I just like
that. Yes, again, real video, but special service
organs said you can share this video, but in
very, very low quality. Maybe in 45p? Maybe.
In 45p? Yeah, or you will miss forever. Hold
on. Let me read it in the original language.
Maybe that'll help. Yes. Again, the real video,
but special service organs said, you cannot share
this, but in very low quality, maybe in 45p,
or you will miss forever. This rule of every
Bigfoot, Dogman, or Mermaid video. And everybody
who shared these vids. Or follow this rule every
time. You got a little Borati there at the end.
Every time. Every time. Let's see what this one
says. Creatures like these exist, and in the
past, they were far more numerous. But as the
population increased, taking over the forest,
they were forced to hide. There are more mysteries
between heaven and earth than our vain philosophy
dreams of. Okay. All right. I like the vain philosophy
part. That's pretty good. That's pretty good.
AI at its best. It really does look like AI.
There's no impact on the body when they walk.
Yeah, I do like this one. If only it was a little
more blurry, I would believe. The government
says there are feral societies in the national
forest, but don't want to make it public because
civilians will be scared. What? Who did the government
say that to? Well, they just said it. Oh, I see.
It was just out. They just put it out there.
Yeah. Behind closed doors. Yeah. This dude's
a whistle. He was there. This is a whistleblower.
Excellent. That's what it is. Duh. My father
told me how he was a teenager of about 15 years
old in the 50s of the last century when he was
riding a donkey in the mountains of Kazakhstan.
I didn't read ahead at all. So that took me for...
Oh, God. Oh, Borat. That threw me... Oh, Borat.
There was a wilderness reserve there, and passing
along the mountain path, he saw a woman in the
bushes all covered in wool. Her breasts were
visible. She was looking at him. My father spurred
the donkey and rode away quickly. He was very
frightened then. Oh, my God. Dude. That could
not have been a better comment. But also. I want
that framed. I just. What if he's stuck around?
What if, you know, titties out? She's eyeballing
you. Yeah. You're missing out, man. Maybe she
wants. Maybe she wants to make a hybrid. It's
simple, in my opinion. The Sasquatch creature
has an ability or special power that the government
knows about and wants slash has and doesn't want
anyone else domestic or foreign to know about
or have. The government has known for a long
time that they exist and even list even listed
as a creature to be alert and cautious of in
old military forest recon booklets. As long as
they're protected, it is what it is. You're in
the army. Is that true? Were they in any? Military
forest recon booklets? Not even remotely true
by any stretch. And just to be clear, it's not
just because I was in the modern military. I
had access to a lot of old training documents.
And we used to open them and read them because
some of them were really funny. I can imagine.
And I've never seen anything about forest creatures
like Bigfoot. There's nothing. They're a full
100 % stacked to the gills with shit. That's
a shame. Yeah. All right. Let's see what people
are saying to this guy. Coherent matter. Watch
Sasquatch, a flash of beauty on Tubi. Is that
a porn? Well, Tubi's like that free. Right. So
it's like a soft core porn. Yes. Yes, I did see
that. Very interesting watch for sure. These
are the two producers of that film, I'm sure.
Oh, this is just viral marketing campaign. Yeah,
exactly. Sasquatch. Oh, God. Don't even read
it. It's so long. Hold on. Sasquatch have a scientific
name, Homo sapien cognitus. They're hidden dismissed
because they're hybrids. MTDNA is a human and
UDNA is unknown. Not even in GenBank. And that
holds every DNA sequence we have collected. It
should be in there. There's a lot of lies like
it's an unpublished study. That's not true. ZooBank.
What the fuck? I'm done. I told you. Told you.
I knew it was going to be bad. Yeah. All right.
Yeah, that's it. That's all I got. Wow. It was
a lot of fun. We have to do this again. We should
make this an annual thing. I agree. Let's stop
sharing this screen. All right. Wow. It was good.
That was incredible. I told you. The videos are
dumb, but the comments. The comments really did
it. The comments really did it. We needed more
Nephilim, though. Yes. I'm disappointed that
we can't use Nephilim as a way to rate these
videos. It only showed up in like half of them,
which is more than it should. What we should
do is rate everything on, on a Bible level. Like
if somebody brings up the Christian deities,
yeah, then we can, we'll rate it that way. Okay.
But have you considered, have you considered
Medusa? Have you, that thought ever crossed your
mind where we'll be wounded? Where it will be
wounded. Oh, fuck. That was good. So good. Parentheses,
sirens. All right. That's all. Close parentheses.
No open parentheses. Goddamn. All right. That's
it. That's all I got. Yeah. This has been awesome.
We definitely have to do this again next year.
I agree. Hello, everyone. It's nice to see us
on video. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we're on video
all the time. But it's like a full video. Gotcha,
gotcha. I have no idea how I'm going to edit
this. I might just fucking let it rip. Yeah,
just let it roll. Don't edit anything. So you're
going to see me really close up as I plug in
the laptop, as I try and plug in the laptop.
You know, give the viewers what they want, you
know? Yeah. Everybody wants to see my belly button.
I at least want to tickle it from the inside.
Oh, boy. Well, Dave and I are going to go play
tummy sticks. We'll talk to you later. All right.
Before we go, is there anything you want to plug?
You got anything going on? No. No? I'm driving
back to Massachusetts today. Oh, that sucks.
Yeah, it's like going to be five and a half hours
or so. I'll be fine. I feel like Sunday's usually
a pretty good day. Yeah. Yeah, that's why I said
five and a half, not like six and a half. I don't
think it'll be too bad. All right. Well, hope
you enjoyed this video. Yeah. Thank you for watching.
Yeah. Like. Share. Smash that like button. Hit
subscribe. You fucked that like button. And also,
all of you listening on the audio, sorry. This
is going to be a terrible listen for you. Sorry
you don't have access to YouTube. Yeah, right.
Just watch it in your car like a normal person.
Yeah, just hold it. All right. Yeah, follow us
on Instagram, Crypto Cocktail. Follow us on TikTok,
Crypto Cocktail Party. Leave us a five -star
rating and review wherever you can. It helps
get the show out there. Leave some comments on
this video if you're watching it. Talk shit about
us. Yeah. Those are usually always really fun.
Yeah. We're going to respond. Yeah. All right.
And I guess with that out of the way, do you
want to say goodbye and I love you to the audience?
Goodbye and I love you.