WEBVTT 00:00:05.969 --> 00:00:14.529 Creatures, let's meet For a drink, it's a treat 00:00:42.259 --> 00:00:44.159 Welcome back, everyone, to another episode of 00:00:44.159 --> 00:00:45.579 Cryptic Cocktail Party, a show where we have 00:00:45.579 --> 00:00:47.259 a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive 00:00:47.259 --> 00:00:49.140 into the unknown. I'm your host, Dave. Joined, 00:00:49.159 --> 00:00:51.659 as always, my wonderful co -host, Sarge. How's 00:00:51.659 --> 00:00:54.259 it going, Sarge? What's going on, world? How 00:00:54.259 --> 00:00:57.399 are you? To me or the world? No, I don't know. 00:00:57.439 --> 00:00:58.920 There's a stain on my shirt, and it caught my 00:00:58.920 --> 00:01:01.939 eye. So I got confused for a second in the camera. 00:01:04.140 --> 00:01:07.340 Well, I can't answer for the whole world, but 00:01:07.340 --> 00:01:09.560 I'm doing okay. I'm doing all right. All right. 00:01:09.620 --> 00:01:13.700 Yeah. Have we read the Epstein files yet? I have 00:01:13.700 --> 00:01:15.959 not read them personally. That's okay. You're 00:01:15.959 --> 00:01:17.760 not missing much. Most of it's redacted, which 00:01:17.760 --> 00:01:19.620 I expected. I'm enjoying the pictures coming 00:01:19.620 --> 00:01:24.000 out from them, though. Well, all right. Enjoy 00:01:24.000 --> 00:01:30.219 is a... Strong word. Wildly inappropriate? Yeah, 00:01:30.280 --> 00:01:32.420 no, definitely inappropriate, but that's okay. 00:01:32.579 --> 00:01:33.719 I'm not enjoying them. You know what you meant. 00:01:33.900 --> 00:01:37.299 Yeah, they're fun, funny. It's my fault for even 00:01:37.299 --> 00:01:39.859 saying the word enjoy. I also am not enjoying 00:01:39.859 --> 00:01:44.799 the entire situation that rich people are, as 00:01:44.799 --> 00:01:47.879 we all expected, unbridled perverts. Yeah, yeah. 00:01:48.799 --> 00:01:51.439 Merry Christmas, everyone. I mean, but some of 00:01:51.439 --> 00:01:53.680 the people out there, like... Come on, Spacey's 00:01:53.680 --> 00:01:56.260 on there. You kind of had to know. Yeah, everyone 00:01:56.260 --> 00:02:02.159 kind of knew. But yeah, Merry Christmas to everyone. 00:02:02.540 --> 00:02:04.420 And Happy Hanukkah as well. I believe Hanukkah 00:02:04.420 --> 00:02:07.379 is still going. I believe it is as well. I feel 00:02:07.379 --> 00:02:09.840 I don't genuinely know, but I don't celebrate 00:02:09.840 --> 00:02:12.460 it, so I guess I wouldn't know. I don't really 00:02:12.460 --> 00:02:14.479 know. I'm pretty sure my best friend celebrates 00:02:14.479 --> 00:02:16.520 it. That's the only reason I knew. And so on 00:02:16.520 --> 00:02:18.500 the first day of Hanukkah, I shot him a message, 00:02:18.719 --> 00:02:22.289 wished him a Happy Hanukkah. And I'm sure on 00:02:22.289 --> 00:02:24.150 Christmas day, he'll wish me a Merry Christmas 00:02:24.150 --> 00:02:26.289 like we do every single year. Oh, you guys are 00:02:26.289 --> 00:02:29.210 cute. Yeah. Well, we've known each other for 00:02:29.210 --> 00:02:35.110 38 years since we were five years old. So for 00:02:35.110 --> 00:02:38.669 those of you not good at math, good luck figuring 00:02:38.669 --> 00:02:43.930 that one out. Sometimes I forget how old I am. 00:02:44.229 --> 00:02:46.050 Yeah. I feel like once you get past like 35, 00:02:46.169 --> 00:02:48.110 it just doesn't matter anymore. I stopped counting. 00:02:48.210 --> 00:02:50.759 Yeah. Completely stopped. Now I judge my age 00:02:50.759 --> 00:02:52.680 based on how many ibuprofen I need to get me 00:02:52.680 --> 00:02:55.360 through a day. Gotcha, one per decade. Yeah, 00:02:55.400 --> 00:03:02.620 I'm four ibuprofen years old. The beginning of 00:03:02.620 --> 00:03:04.520 this episode is absolutely nothing, huh? It's 00:03:04.520 --> 00:03:09.020 just... It's what you would expect from a middle 00:03:09.020 --> 00:03:12.719 -aged podcaster, I think. Yeah, all right. You're 00:03:12.719 --> 00:03:14.819 not middle -aged, I am. I'm getting there. I'm 00:03:14.819 --> 00:03:16.560 38. You're close. That's close enough, I feel 00:03:16.560 --> 00:03:18.939 like. You're pushing it. I'm pushing it. Yeah, 00:03:18.960 --> 00:03:21.460 yeah, yeah. All right, Sarge. Well, last week 00:03:21.460 --> 00:03:27.159 we talked about Frau Perchta and the unbaptized 00:03:27.159 --> 00:03:29.599 baby parade that she brings along with her. My 00:03:29.599 --> 00:03:31.099 favorite. And at the beginning of that episode, 00:03:31.180 --> 00:03:33.280 I had mentioned something that caught your ear, 00:03:33.439 --> 00:03:39.120 and that was the Yule Lads. Yes. And I had told 00:03:39.120 --> 00:03:42.560 you that when I did that episode, I had done 00:03:42.560 --> 00:03:44.819 it. This is like the first Christmas episode 00:03:44.819 --> 00:03:48.789 I think I did. I had this guy named Mike Waddell 00:03:48.789 --> 00:03:53.030 on who was now the disgraced CEO of MetaZoo TCG. 00:03:53.569 --> 00:03:59.289 Oh, my God. I forgot about MetaZoo. Yeah, he 00:03:59.289 --> 00:04:02.770 kind of just shut down the company, took a bunch 00:04:02.770 --> 00:04:04.789 of people's money for pre -orders and stuff, 00:04:04.849 --> 00:04:08.689 never fulfilled a lot of it. I think they filed 00:04:08.689 --> 00:04:11.370 bankruptcy. People had to file court documents 00:04:11.370 --> 00:04:13.689 to get their money back. It was a whole thing. 00:04:15.159 --> 00:04:18.279 Him and Logan Paul. Yeah, so I think I'm going 00:04:18.279 --> 00:04:22.279 to scrub that episode. Yeah, just get rid of 00:04:22.279 --> 00:04:26.160 it altogether. Or change the description to, 00:04:26.300 --> 00:04:29.680 sorry, I talked to this piece of shit. I actually 00:04:29.680 --> 00:04:36.019 had mine on twice. Oh, no. uh but that was the 00:04:36.019 --> 00:04:38.220 last time it was uh green the ulex and then like 00:04:38.220 --> 00:04:40.100 three days later my car got stolen that was a 00:04:40.100 --> 00:04:41.779 whole nother thing dude you're having a rough 00:04:41.779 --> 00:04:43.980 you were having a rough year yeah it wasn't great 00:04:43.980 --> 00:04:46.459 it wasn't great so um so what i did is i figured 00:04:46.459 --> 00:04:48.600 i told you that we would just redo it and i figured 00:04:48.600 --> 00:04:52.060 since we're still in the holiday uh time frame 00:04:52.060 --> 00:04:55.480 i guess is this still fits in to when we should 00:04:55.480 --> 00:04:58.819 do it uh so i figured i didn't change much of 00:04:58.819 --> 00:05:00.439 the script the script is kind of basically the 00:05:00.439 --> 00:05:02.959 same i did kind of update some stuff and proof 00:05:02.959 --> 00:05:05.810 read it to make sure the It was accurate because 00:05:05.810 --> 00:05:09.110 back then I was just willy -nilly. Yeah. Just 00:05:09.110 --> 00:05:10.870 kind of writing shit down that I saw online. 00:05:11.769 --> 00:05:13.389 And you got to leave room for the dick jokes. 00:05:13.769 --> 00:05:16.230 Yeah. So I figured, yeah, there was no dick jokes 00:05:16.230 --> 00:05:18.810 on that one. Well, he wasn't a dick joke guy. 00:05:18.810 --> 00:05:23.430 That was his mistake. Yeah. So, yeah. So I figured 00:05:23.430 --> 00:05:26.850 today, Sarge, we would cover, we would do a redo 00:05:26.850 --> 00:05:28.790 of that. And I'm not going to change, like I 00:05:28.790 --> 00:05:30.430 said, it's not going to change anything, but 00:05:30.430 --> 00:05:32.529 it will be hopefully better than that one. And 00:05:32.529 --> 00:05:34.879 sorry for anyone listening who. I've already 00:05:34.879 --> 00:05:38.579 heard this before, but again, I don't really 00:05:38.579 --> 00:05:41.920 want that episode on my back catalog. Don't blame 00:05:41.920 --> 00:05:45.959 me. All right, so Christmas time, a magical time 00:05:45.959 --> 00:05:47.620 of year where we gather with our loved ones, 00:05:47.680 --> 00:05:49.740 celebrate the birthday of a demigod born out 00:05:49.740 --> 00:05:52.339 of wedlock, get absolutely ripped on Spike Degnog 00:05:52.339 --> 00:05:54.160 at the office Christmas party, and partake in 00:05:54.160 --> 00:05:56.500 rampant capitalism just to disappoint the important 00:05:56.500 --> 00:05:58.379 people in our lives with a last -minute Christmas 00:05:58.379 --> 00:06:00.560 card stuffed with scratch tickets from 7 -Eleven 00:06:00.560 --> 00:06:02.279 because you didn't feel like waiting in line 00:06:02.279 --> 00:06:07.990 at Target. It sits close to home because my mom 00:06:07.990 --> 00:06:09.589 just asked for scratch tickets for Christmas. 00:06:11.370 --> 00:06:14.689 She finally got sick of us just giving her scratch 00:06:14.689 --> 00:06:18.689 tickets. That's all she wants. For the most part, 00:06:18.790 --> 00:06:21.250 Christmas time isn't supposed to be a nightmare 00:06:21.250 --> 00:06:23.410 -fueled murder fest caused by hideous monsters 00:06:23.410 --> 00:06:25.430 that want nothing more than to torment children, 00:06:25.649 --> 00:06:27.250 at least not here in the States. If we learn 00:06:27.250 --> 00:06:30.470 anything from this show, they save all that stuff 00:06:30.470 --> 00:06:33.899 for Europe. The Europeans love that shit. It's 00:06:33.899 --> 00:06:36.680 like they're bread and butter. Now, we've already 00:06:36.680 --> 00:06:39.000 covered Krampus, the humanoid horned goat demon 00:06:39.000 --> 00:06:41.500 of Central and Eastern European folklore. He 00:06:41.500 --> 00:06:43.579 likes to beat children with bundles of sticks 00:06:43.579 --> 00:06:45.639 before shoving them in a wicker basket for a 00:06:45.639 --> 00:06:47.620 late night Christmas snack. And then there's 00:06:47.620 --> 00:06:49.959 Belsnickel of German and Pennsylvania Dutch folklore, 00:06:50.120 --> 00:06:53.540 famously played by Dwight on The Office. This 00:06:53.540 --> 00:06:55.480 kind of seems to be a running theme in these 00:06:55.480 --> 00:06:58.120 stories. He also likes to beat children with 00:06:58.120 --> 00:07:02.370 a stick for misbehaving. But there is one folkloric 00:07:02.370 --> 00:07:05.050 entity that I think has been wildly underrepresented. 00:07:05.110 --> 00:07:07.470 And as far as I'm concerned, would make for a 00:07:07.470 --> 00:07:09.610 way better horror story than Krampus. And that 00:07:09.610 --> 00:07:13.110 is the Icelandic ogress known as Gríla and her 00:07:13.110 --> 00:07:16.610 13 nightmare children, the Yule Lads. So you 00:07:16.610 --> 00:07:19.250 are unfamiliar with the Yule Lads. Whole hog, 00:07:19.470 --> 00:07:25.930 right? Yes. Yes. You know, the thing is, the 00:07:25.930 --> 00:07:28.980 Yule Lads. It's going to be tough for me to be 00:07:28.980 --> 00:07:31.279 afraid of these guys because the Yule Lads sounds 00:07:31.279 --> 00:07:36.879 like a male stripper group. Like Chip and Dale's 00:07:36.879 --> 00:07:40.160 Christmas Time. Right. That's their holiday show. 00:07:40.339 --> 00:07:49.379 The Yule Lads and their Yule Logs. Oh, man. Well, 00:07:49.439 --> 00:07:51.500 you're going to love this. This is a good story. 00:07:51.579 --> 00:07:53.699 It's a lot of fun. And by fun, I mean it's fucking 00:07:53.699 --> 00:07:57.399 awful. But I feel like it's supposed to be. Now, 00:07:57.699 --> 00:08:01.319 Gríla in Icelandic folklore is first mentioned 00:08:01.319 --> 00:08:03.240 in medieval sources going all the way back to 00:08:03.240 --> 00:08:05.420 the 13th century. Now, in these early stories, 00:08:05.459 --> 00:08:07.339 she wasn't even associated with winter or the 00:08:07.339 --> 00:08:10.500 holiday season at all. She was just a big, ugly, 00:08:10.639 --> 00:08:12.399 child -eating troll that lived out in the wilderness. 00:08:12.720 --> 00:08:14.839 It wasn't until much later, around the 18th and 00:08:14.839 --> 00:08:17.240 19th centuries, that Gríla became specifically 00:08:17.240 --> 00:08:20.110 linked to the holiday season. Poems and stories 00:08:20.110 --> 00:08:21.689 from around this time started describing her 00:08:21.689 --> 00:08:24.389 as a Christmastime monster that roamed the countryside 00:08:24.389 --> 00:08:26.910 looking for naughty children to abduct. This 00:08:26.910 --> 00:08:29.269 is also around the time that her 13 hellspawn, 00:08:29.269 --> 00:08:30.709 the Yule Lads, entered the picture, but we're 00:08:30.709 --> 00:08:35.009 going to get to them later. Fucking Yule Lads. 00:08:36.049 --> 00:08:38.669 I'm sorry every time. It just sounds so dumb. 00:08:39.549 --> 00:08:42.450 It is. It is dumb. And you're going to find out 00:08:42.450 --> 00:08:46.100 why. So agree up. Early descriptions of her, 00:08:46.179 --> 00:08:48.259 and there are many descriptions of her throughout 00:08:48.259 --> 00:08:50.419 the years, the picture is just a hideous monster 00:08:50.419 --> 00:08:53.000 of a woman. One source described her as an ugly, 00:08:53.039 --> 00:08:55.539 wretched giantress who lived in a small hut on 00:08:55.539 --> 00:08:58.419 the edge of town. Which town? The one you live 00:08:58.419 --> 00:09:01.320 in, obviously. Naturally. Yeah, she would mosey 00:09:01.320 --> 00:09:03.360 on into your village, and depending on the story, 00:09:03.419 --> 00:09:05.759 either trick desperate parents into giving up 00:09:05.759 --> 00:09:08.320 their kids to her, or just straight up abducting 00:09:08.320 --> 00:09:10.139 them so she can boil them alive and then eat 00:09:10.139 --> 00:09:13.480 them. And the worse the child behaved, the better 00:09:13.480 --> 00:09:16.759 they tasted. Now, in some versions of the story, 00:09:16.840 --> 00:09:18.899 she could be appeased with offerings of non -boiled 00:09:18.899 --> 00:09:22.399 children food. But for the most part, the town 00:09:22.399 --> 00:09:24.879 folks, they didn't really like the idea of a 00:09:24.879 --> 00:09:26.620 giant cannibalistic woman trying to eat their 00:09:26.620 --> 00:09:30.500 kids, even if regular food could possibly spare 00:09:30.500 --> 00:09:33.139 them. So they got together and they banished 00:09:33.139 --> 00:09:35.539 her to the Dimu Borgir lava fields in northern 00:09:35.539 --> 00:09:39.289 Iceland. And I didn't know this, but Demu Borgir, 00:09:39.330 --> 00:09:42.929 that name literally translates to dark castles, 00:09:42.929 --> 00:09:45.350 which is metal as all hell and is the perfect 00:09:45.350 --> 00:09:47.549 place for a child. That's an actual metal band. 00:09:47.629 --> 00:09:49.970 Yeah, Demu Borgir rules. How is it pronounced? 00:09:50.129 --> 00:09:51.509 Because I always thought it was Demu Borgir. 00:09:51.909 --> 00:09:55.210 I say Demu Borgir. That's fine. It sounds more 00:09:55.210 --> 00:09:59.429 French than Icelandic. The way I say it, I have 00:09:59.429 --> 00:10:05.230 no idea. Iceland, notoriously French. Yeah. So 00:10:05.230 --> 00:10:07.529 yeah, so she now lives. In the lava fields, which 00:10:07.529 --> 00:10:10.549 is metal as all hell, perfect place for her to 00:10:10.549 --> 00:10:13.090 be. Pretty fucking badass. Yeah. And just like 00:10:13.090 --> 00:10:16.090 Santa and Krampus and Belschnickel, Gria also 00:10:16.090 --> 00:10:18.289 has the supernatural ability to tell if kids 00:10:18.289 --> 00:10:19.789 were being rotten little shits throughout the 00:10:19.789 --> 00:10:22.889 year. So when the holidays come, she descends 00:10:22.889 --> 00:10:25.470 from her metal as fuck cave and wanders the nearby 00:10:25.470 --> 00:10:28.049 villages, kidnapping kids along the way and hauling 00:10:28.049 --> 00:10:30.470 them back to her lair to boil alive in a massive 00:10:30.470 --> 00:10:33.000 cauldron to make what's essentially... child 00:10:33.000 --> 00:10:36.840 stew uh some go further into detail and say that 00:10:36.840 --> 00:10:39.240 she skins them batters them and they're still 00:10:39.240 --> 00:10:41.740 alive at this point before she puts them in the 00:10:41.740 --> 00:10:45.360 in the stew not sexy yeah and in some versions 00:10:45.360 --> 00:10:47.179 she doesn't even kill and cook them right away 00:10:47.179 --> 00:10:50.120 she keeps them alive until she's ready to cook 00:10:50.120 --> 00:10:52.860 them and to make it worse some other tellings 00:10:52.860 --> 00:10:54.779 include the detail that people in the villages 00:10:54.779 --> 00:10:57.460 can hear the screams of the children as they're 00:10:57.460 --> 00:11:01.940 being uh prepared to be eaten so of course that's 00:11:01.940 --> 00:11:04.710 fun And just to be clear, when I say misbehaved, 00:11:04.750 --> 00:11:09.110 I don't mean like hardened child criminals. Like 00:11:09.110 --> 00:11:14.149 these kids aren't doing the most fucked up shit. 00:11:14.210 --> 00:11:17.250 I mean, like if your kid forgot to say God bless 00:11:17.250 --> 00:11:20.509 you after someone sneezed even one time, he's 00:11:20.509 --> 00:11:23.190 getting scooped up. Fucking Christ. Yeah, greed 00:11:23.190 --> 00:11:25.049 doesn't just take the worst of the worst. True, 00:11:25.190 --> 00:11:28.029 like the more of a little shit they are, the 00:11:28.029 --> 00:11:29.990 better they taste. But if your kid isn't basically 00:11:29.990 --> 00:11:32.539 a saint throughout the year. They're going to 00:11:32.539 --> 00:11:34.860 get snatched up and eaten. That's out of control. 00:11:35.019 --> 00:11:37.200 Yeah, well, because her goal is to kidnap enough 00:11:37.200 --> 00:11:39.899 children to make a stew big enough to last her 00:11:39.899 --> 00:11:42.679 the entire year until it's time to do it all 00:11:42.679 --> 00:11:46.399 again. Gotcha. Basically just stockpiling. She's 00:11:46.399 --> 00:11:50.440 food prepping, I guess, for the year. Now you 00:11:50.440 --> 00:11:56.220 could. She's just meal prepping. Yeah. She's 00:11:56.220 --> 00:11:58.379 got a bunch of mason jars full of severed kids' 00:11:58.519 --> 00:12:01.179 hands. Oh, yeah. Dude, she's pickling. What is 00:12:01.179 --> 00:12:03.720 a... Yeah. Pickle them, boil them, put them in 00:12:03.720 --> 00:12:06.000 a stew? Is that the... Yeah, her overnight oats 00:12:06.000 --> 00:12:11.759 are just eyeballs. And the thing about Gria and 00:12:11.759 --> 00:12:13.960 what separates her from all the other Christmas 00:12:13.960 --> 00:12:17.100 punishment characters is that with her, there's 00:12:17.100 --> 00:12:20.730 no reward system. Like, Santa rewards good kids. 00:12:20.809 --> 00:12:23.269 Krampus punishes the bad ones. Belschnickel does 00:12:23.269 --> 00:12:25.950 both the rewarding and the punishing. Even Frau 00:12:25.950 --> 00:12:27.929 Perchta leaves you a coin if your chores are 00:12:27.929 --> 00:12:30.870 done. But Gria, she just eats your kids for the 00:12:30.870 --> 00:12:33.809 love of the game. Yeah, it's all about the kids. 00:12:33.929 --> 00:12:37.090 Just eating them. Yeah, they don't get any, like, 00:12:37.149 --> 00:12:40.289 there's no good to come from her. Now, the fun 00:12:40.289 --> 00:12:42.809 fact about Gria is that for a hideous monster 00:12:42.809 --> 00:12:45.860 that she is, she did find love. A few times, 00:12:45.960 --> 00:12:48.340 actually. According to legend, she was married 00:12:48.340 --> 00:12:50.360 a couple times before eventually landing on her 00:12:50.360 --> 00:12:54.399 third husband. She ate the first two. Praying 00:12:54.399 --> 00:12:57.019 mantis stuff. His name, I'm not even going to 00:12:57.019 --> 00:12:58.500 try to pronounce, so we're just going to call 00:12:58.500 --> 00:13:01.700 him Lep. Lots of J's, probably. Lots of silent 00:13:01.700 --> 00:13:05.580 J's. No, there's a lot of vowels with symbols 00:13:05.580 --> 00:13:10.740 above them that I've never seen before. So, I 00:13:10.740 --> 00:13:15.080 wasn't even going to try to... pretend how to 00:13:15.080 --> 00:13:17.700 pronounce that. I mean, I understand why Iceland's 00:13:17.700 --> 00:13:20.480 language is so complex. When you live in a place 00:13:20.480 --> 00:13:26.480 that's so remote, all you can do is come up with 00:13:26.480 --> 00:13:28.639 weird ways to say shit. Yeah, you're just making 00:13:28.639 --> 00:13:36.259 sounds at the end of the day. How many J's can 00:13:36.259 --> 00:13:38.899 I put in this word? Yeah, so we're going to call 00:13:38.899 --> 00:13:42.039 him Lep. Now, he is a famously lazy, useless 00:13:42.039 --> 00:13:44.360 troll, and he's often described as an absolute 00:13:44.360 --> 00:13:47.080 deadbeat who is actively terrified of his own 00:13:47.080 --> 00:13:48.960 wife, which is understandable. She did eat the 00:13:48.960 --> 00:13:52.039 first two. And together, these two lovebirds 00:13:52.039 --> 00:13:56.059 had 13 children known as the Yule Lads. Now, 00:13:56.059 --> 00:14:00.659 are you getting excited? I'm so excited. Now, 00:14:00.659 --> 00:14:03.120 these days, the Yule Lads are basically 13 mischievous 00:14:03.120 --> 00:14:05.220 Santa Clauses that visit the home of children 00:14:05.220 --> 00:14:07.399 during the 13 nights leading up to Christmas. 00:14:08.159 --> 00:14:09.960 Children will place their shoes on the windowsills. 00:14:10.019 --> 00:14:12.000 And for the good boys and girls, the Yule out 00:14:12.000 --> 00:14:14.100 of the day. Oh, yeah, because each one comes 00:14:14.100 --> 00:14:17.000 on a different day leading up to the 13th. So 00:14:17.000 --> 00:14:18.659 the Yule out of the day will leave candy or a 00:14:18.659 --> 00:14:20.700 small gift. And if they decide your kid sucks, 00:14:21.100 --> 00:14:23.399 they will stuff the shoe with rotting potatoes. 00:14:33.120 --> 00:14:40.480 You really like that, huh? It's so random. If 00:14:40.480 --> 00:14:44.039 you're a bad kid, you're going to be mildly inconvenienced. 00:14:44.159 --> 00:14:47.179 Yeah, pretty much. But like most horrifying folklore, 00:14:47.419 --> 00:14:49.820 the Yule Lads have been significantly toned down 00:14:49.820 --> 00:14:51.700 over the years. Now, originally, they were described 00:14:51.700 --> 00:14:54.379 as horrifying, unhinged, violent little troll 00:14:54.379 --> 00:14:56.320 creatures that would break into your home, rob 00:14:56.320 --> 00:14:58.340 you, and generally made your life a living hell. 00:14:59.070 --> 00:15:01.870 In fact, those stories were considered so terrifying 00:15:01.870 --> 00:15:05.769 that in 1746, under Danish rule, Icelandic officials 00:15:05.769 --> 00:15:08.470 banned parents from using grija and the Yule 00:15:08.470 --> 00:15:10.809 Lads to unnecessarily traumatize their kids. 00:15:11.110 --> 00:15:14.149 The stories were so unhinged that they were legally 00:15:14.149 --> 00:15:17.990 deemed too fucked up to tell your kids. You know 00:15:17.990 --> 00:15:20.669 shit's bad when the government has to get involved. 00:15:21.110 --> 00:15:23.070 You're like, ah, all right, all right. Yeah, 00:15:23.110 --> 00:15:24.649 which is probably why I had a hard time finding 00:15:24.649 --> 00:15:26.809 anything about, like, the original Yule Lads. 00:15:28.190 --> 00:15:29.730 Gria and her first two husbands, apparently, 00:15:29.789 --> 00:15:31.850 according to folklore, had, like, a bunch of 00:15:31.850 --> 00:15:35.029 kids. So there's 13 Yule Lads with this couple, 00:15:35.169 --> 00:15:40.909 but there's, like, dozens others. But, yeah, 00:15:40.909 --> 00:15:42.750 I couldn't find any, like, real hard, like... 00:15:43.419 --> 00:15:45.399 old -timey stories about him. So if anyone knows 00:15:45.399 --> 00:15:47.080 where I can find some of those early depictions, 00:15:47.200 --> 00:15:49.139 shoot us an email, please. That'd be great. Yeah, 00:15:49.200 --> 00:15:50.960 but like I said, today the lads are basically 00:15:50.960 --> 00:15:53.000 just like Snow White's seven dwarves, and by 00:15:53.000 --> 00:15:55.000 that I mean they all have a very distinct and 00:15:55.000 --> 00:15:57.759 very specific personality and a pretty on -the 00:15:57.759 --> 00:15:59.779 -nose name that accompanies that personality. 00:15:59.899 --> 00:16:01.659 The only difference between the seven dwarves 00:16:01.659 --> 00:16:04.159 and the ULADs is that there are 13 of them, and 00:16:04.159 --> 00:16:08.580 they all suck. Okay. Excellent. So are you ready 00:16:08.580 --> 00:16:10.639 to find out about these dudes? Yeah, I need to 00:16:10.639 --> 00:16:14.330 know. All right, so first up, you got Sheep Cot 00:16:14.330 --> 00:16:16.649 Claude. Now, his whole thing is that he likes 00:16:16.649 --> 00:16:19.490 to sneak into farm sheep sheds and suck on sheep's 00:16:19.490 --> 00:16:24.429 nipples and has a peg leg. Where I come from, 00:16:24.470 --> 00:16:27.330 that's a crime. Yeah. Next up, you got Gully 00:16:27.330 --> 00:16:29.789 Hawk. He enjoys stealing the foam from buckets 00:16:29.789 --> 00:16:32.370 of cow milk. Just the foam, not the actual milk. 00:16:32.769 --> 00:16:34.269 I don't know if that's, like, the good part. 00:16:34.350 --> 00:16:38.049 I don't know. Are these just weird Icelandic 00:16:38.049 --> 00:16:40.529 fetishes? Kind of, yeah. We got Stubby. He's 00:16:40.529 --> 00:16:42.409 a short king that likes to steal food from frying 00:16:42.409 --> 00:16:45.129 pans. Then you got Spoon Licker. Pretty self 00:16:45.129 --> 00:16:53.909 -explanatory. He likes to murder women. He just 00:16:53.909 --> 00:16:57.190 comes in. He likes to lick all the remnants off 00:16:57.190 --> 00:16:59.769 of your spoons. Then we got Pot Licker. Can you 00:16:59.769 --> 00:17:05.920 guess what he does? Take a wild guess. Venture 00:17:05.920 --> 00:17:12.779 a guess as to what potlicker's up to. These names 00:17:12.779 --> 00:17:17.119 get better and better. If you haven't already 00:17:17.119 --> 00:17:19.420 put it together, he comes into your house, steals 00:17:19.420 --> 00:17:21.680 your unwashed pots, and licks them clean. And 00:17:21.680 --> 00:17:24.359 then you have bowl licker. Can you guess what 00:17:24.359 --> 00:17:28.740 his whole deal is about? Potlicker and bowl licker. 00:17:29.440 --> 00:17:31.160 Don't leave your weed out around those guys. 00:17:33.130 --> 00:17:35.109 His whole thing is he waits under your bed until 00:17:35.109 --> 00:17:38.309 you put your food bowl down, and then he will 00:17:38.309 --> 00:17:47.190 lick your bowl. Wait. When you're in bed, eating 00:17:47.190 --> 00:17:51.150 your night soup? I don't know, dude. He hides 00:17:51.150 --> 00:17:52.809 under your bed until you put your bowl down. 00:17:53.170 --> 00:17:56.069 You're not putting it down on the floor next 00:17:56.069 --> 00:17:57.710 to your bed. I just think it's like when you 00:17:57.710 --> 00:17:59.369 go to bed, he'll come out and lick your bowl. 00:18:00.180 --> 00:18:02.960 I guess it must be a cultural thing where they 00:18:02.960 --> 00:18:05.140 eat dinner and then just go right to sleep. I 00:18:05.140 --> 00:18:07.000 don't know. I also read that they have one wooden 00:18:07.000 --> 00:18:10.000 bowl that they eat all their meals in. So I think 00:18:10.000 --> 00:18:13.279 that's the bowl he likes. Okay, fair enough. 00:18:13.940 --> 00:18:15.920 Next up, we've got Door Slammer. This is the 00:18:15.920 --> 00:18:17.819 most annoying one, in my opinion. All he does 00:18:17.819 --> 00:18:19.640 is stomp around and slam doors all night like 00:18:19.640 --> 00:18:22.279 a bad roommate. And then you've got Skier Gobbler. 00:18:22.420 --> 00:18:27.559 He eats all your yogurt. And he'll eat all your 00:18:27.559 --> 00:18:35.839 yogurt to the point of vomiting. Yeah, they keep 00:18:35.839 --> 00:18:39.880 getting better. I love them. Next up, we got 00:18:39.880 --> 00:18:47.779 Sausage Swiper. Don't unzip your fly. He loves 00:18:47.779 --> 00:18:50.180 to eat sausage, especially stolen sausage. So 00:18:50.180 --> 00:18:52.519 his whole thing is he steals and eats your sausage. 00:18:53.220 --> 00:18:55.819 Swiper, no swiping. Then we got Window Peeper. 00:18:56.599 --> 00:19:00.980 Oh, God. Okay, this is a felon. He likes to creep 00:19:00.980 --> 00:19:02.460 around the outside of your house and peep in 00:19:02.460 --> 00:19:04.640 your windows like some sort of Yuletide pervert. 00:19:05.160 --> 00:19:08.920 And then you got Door Sniffer. He's got a big 00:19:08.920 --> 00:19:10.660 old nose that he will use to sniff out bread 00:19:10.660 --> 00:19:16.680 from under doors. And then... He's not Bread 00:19:16.680 --> 00:19:19.059 Sniffer. Don't you dare call him that. No, Door 00:19:19.059 --> 00:19:21.180 Sniffer. And then we got Meat Hook. Can you guess 00:19:21.180 --> 00:19:25.940 what Meat Hook does? I mean, I guess try and 00:19:25.940 --> 00:19:29.470 kill... a couple that's making out at a lover's 00:19:29.470 --> 00:19:32.529 lane close uh he carries around a big hook and 00:19:32.529 --> 00:19:37.289 steals any meat you got hanging around so you 00:19:37.289 --> 00:19:39.130 weren't far you weren't too far off uh then we 00:19:39.130 --> 00:19:42.309 got candle beggar uh he steals your candles which 00:19:42.309 --> 00:19:44.470 apparently back then were like super rare and 00:19:44.470 --> 00:19:46.190 also like a really valuable item because back 00:19:46.190 --> 00:19:48.170 in the day okay uh they were basically just like 00:19:48.170 --> 00:19:50.369 big sticks of fat so they were edible and you 00:19:50.369 --> 00:19:52.849 could also use them for other things gotcha yeah 00:19:52.849 --> 00:19:55.960 so that was a big thing um Sarge, how are you 00:19:55.960 --> 00:19:59.839 feeling about the Yule Lads? I love them so much. 00:19:59.900 --> 00:20:04.299 I really want this to be like an annual Christmas 00:20:04.299 --> 00:20:08.200 special. Like every year, the Yule Lads need 00:20:08.200 --> 00:20:11.960 to get into like some kind of fun adventure that 00:20:11.960 --> 00:20:14.460 we can laugh about. Because with these names, 00:20:14.619 --> 00:20:17.059 no one should ever be fucking taking them seriously. 00:20:17.400 --> 00:20:19.279 No. Well, this is like... Except for Window Peeper. 00:20:19.339 --> 00:20:23.299 He's fucking perv. Yeah. Well, this is like the... 00:20:24.410 --> 00:20:27.670 They're cleaned up, sanitized version now. Okay. 00:20:27.730 --> 00:20:29.470 This is what it is now. They didn't get cleaned 00:20:29.470 --> 00:20:32.450 up from this because this is, I don't think the 00:20:32.450 --> 00:20:34.930 Danish government was like, this is out of control. 00:20:35.410 --> 00:20:38.250 You can't tell this to your kids. This is the 00:20:38.250 --> 00:20:40.009 cleaned up version. We, I didn't, like I said, 00:20:40.069 --> 00:20:43.609 I couldn't find like the original Yule Lads, 00:20:43.609 --> 00:20:45.789 like what they were about. Everything I read 00:20:45.789 --> 00:20:47.710 was just said that back in the day, they were 00:20:47.710 --> 00:20:51.630 more like boogeymen than the fun little scamps 00:20:51.630 --> 00:20:54.000 they are now. Oh, man, I wish we knew what the 00:20:54.000 --> 00:20:57.200 original 13 names were. Yeah, I knew some of 00:20:57.200 --> 00:21:00.859 them. Well, there's more than 13. There was a 00:21:00.859 --> 00:21:04.140 whole bunch of them. The only one I know is there 00:21:04.140 --> 00:21:10.240 was one that basically it was like hem something. 00:21:10.440 --> 00:21:12.819 And basically what it was, it was just he just 00:21:12.819 --> 00:21:15.119 upskirted you. He just looked up your skirt. 00:21:15.259 --> 00:21:19.779 Oh, yeah. And there's one called Big Ball, Small 00:21:19.779 --> 00:21:22.539 Balls. I don't know what his deal was, but I 00:21:22.539 --> 00:21:24.079 know that his name was Small Balls, and I can 00:21:24.079 --> 00:21:30.819 only imagine it's not great. He's just speed 00:21:30.819 --> 00:21:34.640 bagging you. Yeah, dude, I don't know. But, yeah, 00:21:34.700 --> 00:21:37.359 so, Sarge, we've talked about Greer, the mom, 00:21:37.559 --> 00:21:39.559 the deadbeat dad. We didn't really talk about 00:21:39.559 --> 00:21:41.059 him because he's kind of useless. He didn't really 00:21:41.059 --> 00:21:43.140 do anything. All he does is just eat. And we 00:21:43.140 --> 00:21:45.079 talked about the 13 nightmare children, the Yule 00:21:45.079 --> 00:21:48.130 Lads. Great. I love them. But to close out the 00:21:48.130 --> 00:21:50.069 episode, we have to talk about the family pet 00:21:50.069 --> 00:21:52.029 known as the Yule Cat. Are you familiar with 00:21:52.029 --> 00:21:56.009 the Yule Cat at all? No. Okay. So the Yule Cat 00:21:56.009 --> 00:22:00.029 is the house pet of Gria and her sons. Honestly, 00:22:00.230 --> 00:22:02.789 this is even more unhinged than both mother and 00:22:02.789 --> 00:22:05.609 her sons. The Yule Cat is a monstrously large 00:22:05.609 --> 00:22:08.069 cat that appears on Christmas Eve and silently 00:22:08.069 --> 00:22:10.150 stalks the villages while everyone is asleep, 00:22:10.329 --> 00:22:13.150 dreaming up. sugar plums or whatever it is looking 00:22:13.150 --> 00:22:16.329 for his next meal and this thing does not care 00:22:16.329 --> 00:22:18.710 whether you were young or old good or bad it 00:22:18.710 --> 00:22:22.250 will fucking eat you just because it can uh jesus 00:22:22.250 --> 00:22:24.569 yeah this thing only ventures out once a year 00:22:24.569 --> 00:22:28.049 and chooses violence every time so like a regular 00:22:28.049 --> 00:22:31.890 cat yeah pretty much yeah a regular house cat 00:22:31.890 --> 00:22:34.509 like if it if it gets out it's gonna choose violence 00:22:34.509 --> 00:22:37.029 every time the amazing the only thing that can 00:22:37.029 --> 00:22:39.750 assure you won't be getting disemboweled by a 00:22:40.059 --> 00:22:42.920 demon cat, and it somehow knows this, is if you 00:22:42.920 --> 00:22:45.140 receive at least one article of new clothing 00:22:45.140 --> 00:22:49.220 for Christmas. That's socks, underwear, anything. 00:22:49.900 --> 00:22:53.960 That's fucking oddly specific. Yeah. I mean, 00:22:53.980 --> 00:22:55.819 most folklore usually is. That's because historically 00:22:55.819 --> 00:22:58.180 the Yule Cat was basically as I just described. 00:22:58.380 --> 00:23:01.200 It was just a wintertime threat. It's kind of 00:23:01.200 --> 00:23:04.380 got that Frau Perkta vibe to it. If you didn't 00:23:04.380 --> 00:23:06.519 work hard enough during the year to earn new 00:23:06.519 --> 00:23:08.640 clothes, you were considered lazy, and lazy people 00:23:08.640 --> 00:23:11.480 don't survive the winter. Gotcha. You're probably 00:23:11.480 --> 00:23:13.359 wondering, what is this cast of characters up 00:23:13.359 --> 00:23:16.259 to these days? Yeah. I assume. Where are they 00:23:16.259 --> 00:23:18.420 now? Today, these figures are very much still 00:23:18.420 --> 00:23:20.720 around, just a bit more family -friendly. The 00:23:20.720 --> 00:23:23.319 Yule Lads have been defanged and declawed into 00:23:23.319 --> 00:23:26.099 what are essentially just prank -pulling Christmas 00:23:26.099 --> 00:23:30.640 mascots. They show up on decorations, kids' books, 00:23:30.819 --> 00:23:33.160 ads, and public holiday displays, and they leave 00:23:33.160 --> 00:23:37.400 you gifts instead of ruining your life. As for 00:23:37.400 --> 00:23:39.759 Gria, she never really got that same glow -up 00:23:39.759 --> 00:23:43.119 as her kids did. She's still framed as something 00:23:43.119 --> 00:23:45.700 dangerous. It's a tale you still tell your kids 00:23:45.700 --> 00:23:48.539 throughout the year to get them to behave, but 00:23:48.539 --> 00:23:51.500 just a little less trauma -inducing, but only 00:23:51.500 --> 00:23:54.410 slightly less trauma -inducing. and the yule 00:23:54.410 --> 00:23:57.390 cat still part of this world too uh usually more 00:23:57.390 --> 00:23:59.349 like a warning or a dark joke about being dead 00:23:59.349 --> 00:24:02.890 weight when yeah when winter comes around so 00:24:02.890 --> 00:24:05.390 yeah well the stories are a bit softer now the 00:24:05.390 --> 00:24:07.569 messaging underneath them hasn't really changed 00:24:07.569 --> 00:24:09.250 it's still used for the same purpose which is 00:24:09.250 --> 00:24:12.309 that winter does not give a fuck about you and 00:24:12.309 --> 00:24:15.069 right yeah you're gonna die yeah you should probably 00:24:15.069 --> 00:24:17.230 shape up or ship out is the thing that i've heard 00:24:17.230 --> 00:24:21.000 people say uh but uh But there you have it. There's 00:24:21.000 --> 00:24:24.140 Gria, the Yule Lads, and their family pet, the 00:24:24.140 --> 00:24:28.119 Yule Cat Sarge. It did not disappoint. I am so 00:24:28.119 --> 00:24:34.880 glad. Wow. I love all of it. Yeah. And it turns 00:24:34.880 --> 00:24:37.779 out, I found out Gria is actually kind of like, 00:24:38.039 --> 00:24:42.220 you know, she's referenced a lot in media nowadays. 00:24:42.420 --> 00:24:45.480 And I didn't realize it. Yeah. She was in that 00:24:45.480 --> 00:24:50.400 terrible The Rock movie, Red One. Oh, yeah. Yeah, 00:24:50.460 --> 00:24:54.500 I didn't see that. She's played by the girl who 00:24:54.500 --> 00:24:56.880 plays Sabrina, the teenage witch in the new Netflix 00:24:56.880 --> 00:25:00.079 show Sabrina. Also didn't see it. And then also 00:25:00.079 --> 00:25:03.460 in Sabrina, the teenage witch show, Greer shows 00:25:03.460 --> 00:25:10.500 up in that. Wow. Yeah. In both cases, her story 00:25:10.500 --> 00:25:14.480 is super watered down and not as terrifying as 00:25:14.480 --> 00:25:18.599 it should be. She's also in... God of War Ragnarok. 00:25:19.619 --> 00:25:23.920 Okay, I like that. Yeah. Again, she's not the 00:25:23.920 --> 00:25:28.460 same. She doesn't eat kids. She eats the souls 00:25:28.460 --> 00:25:31.440 of animals so that way she can, like, relive 00:25:31.440 --> 00:25:33.119 their memories so she can feel. It's a whole 00:25:33.119 --> 00:25:39.519 thing. It's not the same at all. Yeah. She's 00:25:39.519 --> 00:25:41.839 still a big ugly lady, though. So, I mean, they 00:25:41.839 --> 00:25:43.880 kind of got that right. As long as they hung 00:25:43.880 --> 00:25:46.000 on to that. I hate it when they take, like, a... 00:25:46.640 --> 00:25:50.299 like a horrible female monster from back in the 00:25:50.299 --> 00:25:52.559 day. Then they make her hot. Like stop doing 00:25:52.559 --> 00:25:55.700 that. She can be cool on her own. She doesn't 00:25:55.700 --> 00:25:57.880 need a glow up as well. Yeah. Well, they did 00:25:57.880 --> 00:26:01.140 that in red one. Yeah. They need to stop doing 00:26:01.140 --> 00:26:03.380 that until the very end. Like the last like 10 00:26:03.380 --> 00:26:05.039 minutes. I didn't actually watch the movie. I 00:26:05.039 --> 00:26:06.960 just watched clips to see what she was like. 00:26:07.000 --> 00:26:11.500 Yeah. And tell you what, those last five minutes, 00:26:11.500 --> 00:26:14.599 you see her pretty gnarly. Okay, good. It's pretty 00:26:14.599 --> 00:26:17.039 intense. The movie itself is trash, I assume. 00:26:17.160 --> 00:26:19.660 I can't imagine it's a good movie. Yeah, I just 00:26:19.660 --> 00:26:22.440 feel like these female monsters don't need a 00:26:22.440 --> 00:26:24.259 she's all that makeover. You know, where they 00:26:24.259 --> 00:26:26.000 take her glasses off and suddenly she's the hot 00:26:26.000 --> 00:26:29.740 girl? Like, stop it. No, you can just be a hag. 00:26:30.240 --> 00:26:33.059 Yeah, she's awesome as a hag. Leave her be. She 00:26:33.059 --> 00:26:38.539 doesn't need the male gaze to be badass. No. 00:26:38.720 --> 00:26:40.680 I'm going to get off my soapbox now. I just get 00:26:40.680 --> 00:26:44.470 so mad when they try to hotten up. Female monsters. 00:26:44.569 --> 00:26:49.269 Like, what are you doing? So dumb. But yeah, 00:26:49.309 --> 00:26:51.430 so you see like a movie and Mrs. Claus is like 00:26:51.430 --> 00:26:53.150 wearing a bikini. Like, knock it off, you fucking 00:26:53.150 --> 00:26:57.529 weirdos. It's the last porn I'll ever rent. Anyway. 00:26:59.329 --> 00:27:01.390 I'm kidding. I'm kidding. So the story didn't 00:27:01.390 --> 00:27:03.029 disappoint? Is this what you were hoping it was 00:27:03.029 --> 00:27:05.309 going to be? No, it's so good. I'm so excited 00:27:05.309 --> 00:27:09.369 about this. So after we do an episode with like 00:27:09.369 --> 00:27:12.569 an especially fun, especially a Nordic fun thing, 00:27:13.279 --> 00:27:16.119 I immediately called my dad because his mom came 00:27:16.119 --> 00:27:18.279 over from Norway and he was raised in a lot of 00:27:18.279 --> 00:27:22.720 the old traditions. So he had, I think it was 00:27:22.720 --> 00:27:26.960 Sinterklaas. Okay. And he would, instead of putting 00:27:26.960 --> 00:27:28.359 the presents under the tree, he would leave them 00:27:28.359 --> 00:27:31.500 on a bag on the porch. And back in the day, when 00:27:31.500 --> 00:27:33.819 my dad was a kid, there was snow on the ground 00:27:33.819 --> 00:27:35.359 at Christmas time most of the time. So you could 00:27:35.359 --> 00:27:39.269 see the footprints leading up to the porch. And 00:27:39.269 --> 00:27:41.450 so like, you know, it was a lot easier to get 00:27:41.450 --> 00:27:43.509 kids to believe it because you had these like 00:27:43.509 --> 00:27:45.809 little weird footprints going up to the house 00:27:45.809 --> 00:27:48.369 and then a bag on the porch. Yeah, you couldn't 00:27:48.369 --> 00:27:50.009 do that nowadays. Someone would fucking swipe 00:27:50.009 --> 00:27:51.490 that off your front porch. Oh yeah, immediately. 00:27:51.690 --> 00:27:55.509 Swipe or no swiping. So I can't wait to tell 00:27:55.509 --> 00:27:57.890 them about this because I told them about our 00:27:57.890 --> 00:28:01.849 friend last week. And so I'm very excited to 00:28:01.849 --> 00:28:03.549 tell them about this one. This one he probably 00:28:03.549 --> 00:28:06.970 might know more. Oh, I'm sure he knows a little 00:28:06.970 --> 00:28:10.170 bit because he still looks this kind of stuff 00:28:10.170 --> 00:28:12.589 up. He loves this stuff. Yeah, it's good. Maybe 00:28:12.589 --> 00:28:16.789 he knows some of the darker Yule. That wouldn't 00:28:16.789 --> 00:28:19.809 surprise me. His mom really hung on to some traditions. 00:28:19.930 --> 00:28:23.049 Most of her recipes were like, after you're done, 00:28:23.150 --> 00:28:26.930 put it outside underground for two weeks. To 00:28:26.930 --> 00:28:30.440 ferment it. Yeah. Oh, that's disgusting. I love 00:28:30.440 --> 00:28:33.099 it. Yeah, it really is. They're a whole culture 00:28:33.099 --> 00:28:39.759 based on a dare. You won't eat it. All right, 00:28:39.779 --> 00:28:42.519 so that's the episode. I'm glad I could do this 00:28:42.519 --> 00:28:45.339 with you. I'm glad you found it interesting and 00:28:45.339 --> 00:28:48.259 it lived up to your expectations. I mean, I wasn't 00:28:48.259 --> 00:28:49.940 worried that it wasn't going to. I knew you'd 00:28:49.940 --> 00:28:51.579 get a kick out of the Yule Lads no matter what. 00:28:51.759 --> 00:28:53.740 Oh, God, I love them. Yeah, they're a fun cast 00:28:53.740 --> 00:28:57.210 of characters. But yeah, that's it. Thank you 00:28:57.210 --> 00:28:59.470 guys so much for listening. We're going to be 00:28:59.470 --> 00:29:02.390 off next week because it's Christmas. So no new 00:29:02.390 --> 00:29:05.849 episode. But the episode that will be released 00:29:05.849 --> 00:29:07.849 after that will be the first time that we have 00:29:07.849 --> 00:29:11.269 ever recorded in the same room. Yes. The meet 00:29:11.269 --> 00:29:14.750 up. It's going to be going to be amazing. There's 00:29:14.750 --> 00:29:16.349 going to be pictures. Instagram is going to be 00:29:16.349 --> 00:29:18.849 nuts. Yeah, it's going to be a good time. I can't 00:29:18.849 --> 00:29:21.430 wait. It'll be a lot of fun. I'm so excited. 00:29:21.549 --> 00:29:23.609 It's going to be so much fun. Yeah. It'll be 00:29:23.609 --> 00:29:26.680 my first time in Philly as well. Really? Yeah, 00:29:26.700 --> 00:29:28.759 I've driven through Pennsylvania, and I've stayed 00:29:28.759 --> 00:29:31.839 in Pennsylvania a couple of times. Never been 00:29:31.839 --> 00:29:35.579 to Philly. You're not missing that much. I'm 00:29:35.579 --> 00:29:37.779 going to see the Liberty Bell. I need to. You 00:29:37.779 --> 00:29:43.160 don't really need to. I'm bringing my pipe. I 00:29:43.160 --> 00:29:45.619 heard this cracking. I mean, it's free. You can 00:29:45.619 --> 00:29:48.160 just go in and see it. Yeah, I have to do that. 00:29:48.220 --> 00:29:52.339 I have to. Okay. As a nerd, as somebody who has 00:29:52.339 --> 00:29:55.609 been a nerd his whole life, Specifically a history 00:29:55.609 --> 00:29:57.930 nerd. I have to see it. That's fair. That's valid. 00:29:58.089 --> 00:30:01.990 All right. Well, you can do that. Yeah. And then 00:30:01.990 --> 00:30:04.529 we'll go to Ben Franklin's house and get fucked 00:30:04.529 --> 00:30:07.910 up. Just his house? That dude knew how to party. 00:30:08.130 --> 00:30:10.710 He did. He really did. He'd appreciate it. Yeah. 00:30:11.029 --> 00:30:14.869 All right. Thank you so much for listening, everyone. 00:30:15.710 --> 00:30:17.690 Sarge, anything you want to plug before we sign 00:30:17.690 --> 00:30:21.130 off? Yeah. You can find me on the socials. Just 00:30:21.130 --> 00:30:24.240 type in... Sarge the Destroyer on most of the 00:30:24.240 --> 00:30:26.319 social media platforms and you'll find me except 00:30:26.319 --> 00:30:30.480 for Facebook because fuck Facebook. Zuckerberg, 00:30:30.500 --> 00:30:35.740 you creepy goblin. Yeah, so you can find me on 00:30:35.740 --> 00:30:37.799 this or you can find us on the Cryptid Cocktail 00:30:37.799 --> 00:30:39.599 Party Instagram page, but Dave will plug that. 00:30:39.839 --> 00:30:42.920 Yeah, if you can't find Sarge by just Googling 00:30:42.920 --> 00:30:45.480 his name, you can follow us on Instagram at Cryptid 00:30:45.480 --> 00:30:46.980 Cocktail and you can just follow the link in 00:30:46.980 --> 00:30:48.500 there. All of his socials are on there. All of 00:30:48.500 --> 00:30:50.460 our socials are on there like our TikTok, Cryptid 00:30:50.460 --> 00:30:52.880 Cocktail Party. Leave us a five -star rating 00:30:52.880 --> 00:30:55.180 and review. It really helps the show and it's 00:30:55.180 --> 00:30:57.440 Christmas time. So think of that as your gift 00:30:57.440 --> 00:31:00.960 to us. Yeah. It'll make my heart super happy. 00:31:01.180 --> 00:31:04.259 Yeah. But I think that's all I got. I don't really 00:31:04.259 --> 00:31:06.700 have anything to plug. Have a happy holiday, 00:31:06.779 --> 00:31:10.000 everyone. Hopefully. Yeah. Merry Christmas. Happy 00:31:10.000 --> 00:31:12.859 Hanukkah. Happy New Year. And yeah, we'll see 00:31:12.859 --> 00:31:15.460 you in the new year. Yeah. And so I guess, do 00:31:15.460 --> 00:31:18.039 you want to say bye and I love you? Goodbye. 00:31:18.599 --> 00:31:34.079 And I fucking love you. Let's treat.