WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.200 You are now listening to cryptid cocktail party 00:00:40.240 --> 00:00:42.219 Welcome back, everyone, to another episode of 00:00:42.219 --> 00:00:43.679 Cryptic Cocktail Party, a show where we have 00:00:43.679 --> 00:00:45.640 a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive 00:00:45.640 --> 00:00:48.079 into the unknown. I'm your host, Dave, joined 00:00:48.079 --> 00:00:51.520 once again by my wonderful co -host, Sarge. How's 00:00:51.520 --> 00:00:54.280 it going, Sarge? Hungover, Dave. Hungover and 00:00:54.280 --> 00:00:58.560 cold. It's snowing again, goddammit. You don't 00:00:58.560 --> 00:01:00.560 look hungover. I feel like when I'm hungover, 00:01:00.619 --> 00:01:03.939 I look very... It's quite obvious. You look... 00:01:04.409 --> 00:01:08.390 Chipper, cheerful. Normal. Yeah. That either 00:01:08.390 --> 00:01:10.890 means I always look like shit or I managed to 00:01:10.890 --> 00:01:12.829 hide my hangover as well. No, you look good. 00:01:12.890 --> 00:01:16.170 Well, you know, being a dad, being a dad, hangovers, 00:01:16.170 --> 00:01:20.030 you're not allowed to have them because your 00:01:20.030 --> 00:01:22.810 kids still expect you to do shit. So this morning 00:01:22.810 --> 00:01:25.609 I was up at the crack of dawn to take my youngest 00:01:25.609 --> 00:01:29.780 son to boxing. Okay. Which is entertaining as 00:01:29.780 --> 00:01:31.579 hell to watch because this little kid is just 00:01:31.579 --> 00:01:35.599 taking big swings at this giant old man. And 00:01:35.599 --> 00:01:38.239 it's really funny to see. And then right after 00:01:38.239 --> 00:01:40.480 that, I had to pick up my other two kids and 00:01:40.480 --> 00:01:45.799 we had to go to the gym and work out. So I think 00:01:45.799 --> 00:01:48.560 I sweat out literally all the alcohol that would 00:01:48.560 --> 00:01:50.219 have been remaining in my body. Oh, so you're 00:01:50.219 --> 00:01:52.459 good. You're right as rain. Yeah, I'm ready to 00:01:52.459 --> 00:01:55.060 go. Sorry I missed last week. I had a chance 00:01:55.060 --> 00:01:57.879 to go to a hockey game. Well, I mean, I just 00:01:57.879 --> 00:02:01.000 understand it, but I get it. I do not fault you 00:02:01.000 --> 00:02:03.239 for it whatsoever. I don't even care for hockey, 00:02:03.359 --> 00:02:06.159 but if I was going to watch any sport live, that 00:02:06.159 --> 00:02:07.659 would be the one. Well, I'm glad you're doing 00:02:07.659 --> 00:02:09.439 good. I'm glad to have you back. I missed you. 00:02:09.819 --> 00:02:11.520 I feel like. I missed you. I'm glad you're doing 00:02:11.520 --> 00:02:16.360 well. I heard you met somebody important to the 00:02:16.360 --> 00:02:19.360 show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I went to, I don't 00:02:19.360 --> 00:02:25.000 know how much. I went to this place in Philly 00:02:25.000 --> 00:02:27.379 last night called Monk's Cafe. Super awesome. 00:02:27.500 --> 00:02:29.159 They just won a bunch of awards like best mussels, 00:02:29.199 --> 00:02:32.560 best burger, best seafood, best fries. Food was 00:02:32.560 --> 00:02:35.460 really good. I got like a kielbasa sub and it 00:02:35.460 --> 00:02:39.539 was fucking so good. But yeah, one of the bartenders 00:02:39.539 --> 00:02:42.419 there, he's a big fan of the show. So I got to 00:02:42.419 --> 00:02:44.939 meet him last night. Super cool dude. Bought 00:02:44.939 --> 00:02:48.219 me and my wife a round of beers. Yeah, it was 00:02:48.219 --> 00:02:49.719 really cool. So if you're in the Philly area. 00:02:50.669 --> 00:02:52.909 Go to Monk's. It's really, really fucking good. 00:02:53.310 --> 00:02:56.430 They make the fucking mustard on this kielbasa. 00:02:56.509 --> 00:02:58.830 They make their own homemade mustard. Really? 00:02:58.949 --> 00:03:02.469 Dude, so good. So we're going there when I come 00:03:02.469 --> 00:03:04.550 down in January, right? Yes, we will definitely 00:03:04.550 --> 00:03:06.750 check it out. Okay, we got to figure out how 00:03:06.750 --> 00:03:09.490 we're going to record then as well. They have 00:03:09.490 --> 00:03:13.289 like a million beers on tap and then their bottle 00:03:13.289 --> 00:03:18.479 list is like 200 bottles. Okay. This sounds like 00:03:18.479 --> 00:03:20.699 a place I need to go to. Dude, they have a bar 00:03:20.699 --> 00:03:22.000 on the front. They have a bar on the back. We 00:03:22.000 --> 00:03:23.900 were in the back bar. That's where you want to 00:03:23.900 --> 00:03:25.840 be, I feel like. Especially when we were there, 00:03:25.879 --> 00:03:28.719 it was packed as fuck. But I feel like if you 00:03:28.719 --> 00:03:31.219 go during the day, like a slower time, it seems 00:03:31.219 --> 00:03:34.960 like a real legit place to hang out. That's where 00:03:34.960 --> 00:03:37.259 we'll start day drinking. All right. Sounds good 00:03:37.259 --> 00:03:44.030 to me. All right. I also. got reached out to 00:03:44.030 --> 00:03:45.889 by somebody very important to the show. Okay. 00:03:45.930 --> 00:03:48.330 A friend of mine I've been friends with on social 00:03:48.330 --> 00:03:51.710 medias and various forms for many years. She 00:03:51.710 --> 00:03:53.330 reached out to tell me, I don't like to admit 00:03:53.330 --> 00:03:56.030 this in public, but I live in Southern Ohio and 00:03:56.030 --> 00:04:01.069 I swear I saw the dog man once. Okay. And just 00:04:01.069 --> 00:04:03.150 about any time I tell anyone, they think I'm 00:04:03.150 --> 00:04:06.729 crazy. Well, my good friend, I don't think you're 00:04:06.729 --> 00:04:09.629 crazy and I will be reaching out soon to hear 00:04:09.629 --> 00:04:12.530 about your experience. Yeah. I want to know more. 00:04:12.669 --> 00:04:15.770 I personally don't believe in Dogman. It's like 00:04:15.770 --> 00:04:20.149 a big foot to me. Oh, no. I don't... I'm going 00:04:20.149 --> 00:04:23.310 into this with anything's possible. And it is 00:04:23.310 --> 00:04:25.370 Ohio, so it could have just been a very hairy 00:04:25.370 --> 00:04:31.269 gentleman. Exactly. I think you missed a big 00:04:31.269 --> 00:04:33.550 opportunity, by the way, with your Ohio cryptids. 00:04:33.990 --> 00:04:36.509 What? Because you should have included J .D. 00:04:36.509 --> 00:04:40.290 Vance. No, see, he doesn't even get the fucking... 00:04:41.789 --> 00:04:44.949 No, I'm talking about the AI JD Vance. Which 00:04:44.949 --> 00:04:47.629 one? The big fat one. The big fat one? Well, 00:04:47.670 --> 00:04:49.329 no, I made that meme because it was a Bill Murray 00:04:49.329 --> 00:04:52.730 meme. He's an artist from, that's the hog man. 00:04:53.009 --> 00:04:54.889 If you don't get it, you know, it's very niche. 00:04:55.529 --> 00:04:59.110 I did not get it. I feel bad now. I was like, 00:04:59.129 --> 00:05:00.750 oh, there's already a joke embedded in here. 00:05:00.829 --> 00:05:06.290 My mistake. Yeah. All right. So, Sarge, today's 00:05:06.290 --> 00:05:09.870 the first day that to me has felt like winter. 00:05:10.350 --> 00:05:12.430 Yeah. It finally snowed in Philly. We got like 00:05:12.430 --> 00:05:14.290 three to six inches. Not a lot of snow. And it's 00:05:14.290 --> 00:05:15.490 probably all going to be gone by the morning 00:05:15.490 --> 00:05:18.370 because it usually always is. But it kind of 00:05:18.370 --> 00:05:21.509 got me into the holiday spirit, if you will. 00:05:22.290 --> 00:05:25.689 Okay. I'm excited. I don't know if you're feeling 00:05:25.689 --> 00:05:28.910 it as well. I am. We've got some snow up here 00:05:28.910 --> 00:05:32.350 in Massachusetts. Yeah. Not as much. Yeah. But 00:05:32.350 --> 00:05:35.730 the holidays suck no matter what. Yeah. Fuck 00:05:35.730 --> 00:05:38.269 Christmas. But I'm feeling it. I'm feeling it, 00:05:38.310 --> 00:05:40.939 Sarge. The spirit of Christmas has taken over 00:05:40.939 --> 00:05:43.680 me, so usually around this time of year, we'll 00:05:43.680 --> 00:05:48.339 do some Christmas -based folklore. So I figured 00:05:48.339 --> 00:05:50.759 why not just fucking get a jumpstart on it and 00:05:50.759 --> 00:05:53.860 start this week. Are you ready for some fucking 00:05:53.860 --> 00:05:59.800 wild ass? I really am, unless it's the Scandinavian 00:05:59.800 --> 00:06:04.100 Santa Claus's racially insensitive buddy. Okay, 00:06:04.100 --> 00:06:07.410 well... I won't say his name. No, but now I have 00:06:07.410 --> 00:06:12.970 to redo this whole episode. Sorry. It's your 00:06:12.970 --> 00:06:16.629 own fault for picking up Black Pete. That's on 00:06:16.629 --> 00:06:19.129 me. You know what? I should have really thought 00:06:19.129 --> 00:06:21.850 about this before. No, I guess I'm a little different. 00:06:22.550 --> 00:06:27.110 It's worse than Krampus. Not as bad as Gree and 00:06:27.110 --> 00:06:30.589 the Yule Lads. The Yule Lads? I'm sorry. Did 00:06:30.589 --> 00:06:32.389 you say the Yule Lads? Yeah, you weren't on that 00:06:32.389 --> 00:06:38.379 episode. That is a great name for, like, a punk 00:06:38.379 --> 00:06:41.060 Christmas band. Yeah. Gria and the Yule – you 00:06:41.060 --> 00:06:45.959 know the Yule Cat? No. Oh, it's like a – Gria, 00:06:46.120 --> 00:06:47.720 the Yule Lads, and the Yule Cat are all part 00:06:47.720 --> 00:06:50.339 of the same. But, well, you know what? I did 00:06:50.339 --> 00:06:55.160 that episode with a scumbag who defrauded millions 00:06:55.160 --> 00:06:58.000 of dollars off people. So maybe we'll redo it, 00:06:58.000 --> 00:06:59.379 and I'll just delete it. We'll redo it. Yeah. 00:06:59.839 --> 00:07:02.860 Okay. That'll be a lost episode. We'll get rid 00:07:02.860 --> 00:07:06.439 of that one. We'll redo it. Yeah. So in the Alpine 00:07:06.439 --> 00:07:08.319 regions of Europe, while the rest of the continent 00:07:08.319 --> 00:07:10.180 is warning their children to be good little boys 00:07:10.180 --> 00:07:12.439 and girls or else Santa won't bring them any 00:07:12.439 --> 00:07:15.100 presents, people here in this region, they're 00:07:15.100 --> 00:07:17.160 warning their kids about something way worse. 00:07:17.259 --> 00:07:19.519 You see, in this region of Europe, during the 00:07:19.519 --> 00:07:21.240 darkest nights of the year, it was said that 00:07:21.240 --> 00:07:23.660 something moved from house to house, not to see 00:07:23.660 --> 00:07:26.740 who was naughty or nice. It came to see who obeyed. 00:07:26.879 --> 00:07:29.019 In some households, they would wake up to good 00:07:29.019 --> 00:07:31.480 fortune. A small little gift, a coin, little 00:07:31.480 --> 00:07:34.240 signs of luck for the upcoming year. Other homes, 00:07:34.360 --> 00:07:36.620 well, they weren't as lucky because if you didn't 00:07:36.620 --> 00:07:38.879 obey, didn't work hard, and didn't keep your 00:07:38.879 --> 00:07:40.839 house in order, this visitor didn't bring coal 00:07:40.839 --> 00:07:43.560 or scold you or whip you with a bundle of sticks. 00:07:43.980 --> 00:07:46.699 No, if you were, say, like a lazy child or a 00:07:46.699 --> 00:07:49.699 disobedient servant, they would cut open your 00:07:49.699 --> 00:07:51.839 body, pull out your innards, and pack you full 00:07:51.839 --> 00:07:54.199 of straw, stones, and trash before sewing you 00:07:54.199 --> 00:07:56.000 shut again for your family to find on Christmas 00:07:56.000 --> 00:07:59.589 morning. Happy holidays, Sarge. This week, we're 00:07:59.589 --> 00:08:03.350 going to be covering Frau Perchta. I think that's 00:08:03.350 --> 00:08:06.250 how you pronounce it. Are you familiar with this 00:08:06.250 --> 00:08:09.110 at all? I'm not familiar, but I'm in no way shocked 00:08:09.110 --> 00:08:15.829 that this is a Germanic creation. Yeah, it shouldn't 00:08:15.829 --> 00:08:19.050 come as a surprise to anyone. All right, so let's 00:08:19.050 --> 00:08:21.670 dive into Frau Perchta and what her whole... 00:08:22.029 --> 00:08:25.790 deal is so in alpine folklore frau perkta i think 00:08:25.790 --> 00:08:28.430 it's perkta is it perchta how's it spelled well 00:08:28.430 --> 00:08:32.590 we're gonna take a quick break okay all right 00:08:32.590 --> 00:08:36.970 so we've got clarification it's perkta i love 00:08:36.970 --> 00:08:39.750 it yeah so in alpine folklore frau perkta isn't 00:08:39.750 --> 00:08:42.070 just some random winter horror that shows up 00:08:42.070 --> 00:08:45.330 just to cause chaos she like most of us has a 00:08:45.330 --> 00:08:48.059 job to do Think of her role as something like 00:08:48.059 --> 00:08:50.519 an eldritch home inspector, someone who drops 00:08:50.519 --> 00:08:52.799 by in the dead of night during the darkest and 00:08:52.799 --> 00:08:54.960 coldest parts of the year just to check in and 00:08:54.960 --> 00:08:58.000 see how your home has been run and how the people 00:08:58.000 --> 00:09:00.220 inside said home have behaved during the year. 00:09:00.799 --> 00:09:04.019 And like a home inspector, she's got sort of 00:09:04.019 --> 00:09:05.720 like a checklist of things that she keeps an 00:09:05.720 --> 00:09:08.379 eye out for. She cares about order, cleanliness, 00:09:08.620 --> 00:09:10.820 work getting done, and rules being followed, 00:09:10.860 --> 00:09:12.980 specifically in the home. Like you can be a piece 00:09:12.980 --> 00:09:16.200 of shit. outside like she does not care because 00:09:16.200 --> 00:09:18.899 she's not like judging your personality she's 00:09:18.899 --> 00:09:20.639 judging to make sure you did what needed to be 00:09:20.639 --> 00:09:23.480 done in the home to like survive the winter so 00:09:23.480 --> 00:09:25.519 yeah you could do whatever you wanted outside 00:09:25.519 --> 00:09:27.860 the house you know you could build volkswagens 00:09:27.860 --> 00:09:31.500 you could come up with final solutions in the 00:09:31.500 --> 00:09:34.139 house yeah you got to be straight and narrow 00:09:34.139 --> 00:09:37.100 yeah once you step through that doorway time 00:09:37.100 --> 00:09:40.990 to fucking tighten it up bud all right Fucking 00:09:40.990 --> 00:09:44.070 Christ. And that's why her focus is almost always 00:09:44.070 --> 00:09:46.350 on, like, the children of the home, the servants, 00:09:46.450 --> 00:09:48.610 and the people in the house responsible for, 00:09:48.649 --> 00:09:51.429 like, the day -to -day. Now, depending on which 00:09:51.429 --> 00:09:54.190 legend you go with, because, of course, there's 00:09:54.190 --> 00:09:57.330 a billion of them, Frau Perica can appear to 00:09:57.330 --> 00:09:59.970 you in two different ways. Sometimes she shows 00:09:59.970 --> 00:10:02.049 up as a beautiful woman dressed in all white, 00:10:02.129 --> 00:10:05.889 just bright, clean, almost glowing. Other times 00:10:05.889 --> 00:10:08.210 she looks like a straight up fucking nightmare. 00:10:08.389 --> 00:10:11.429 Just an old hunched over hag of a woman. Skin 00:10:11.429 --> 00:10:14.389 all wrinkled, wild hair, ragged clothes. And 00:10:14.389 --> 00:10:16.690 there's always something like off about her, 00:10:16.710 --> 00:10:19.370 her body. Usually it's like, right. Usually it's 00:10:19.370 --> 00:10:22.350 her foot. It's just too big. She's got a big 00:10:22.350 --> 00:10:25.450 old misshapen foot for some reason. Yeah. So 00:10:25.450 --> 00:10:27.190 basically you're either going to get Gwyneth 00:10:27.190 --> 00:10:30.269 Paltrow in Shakespeare in love, or you're going 00:10:30.269 --> 00:10:32.649 to get Marjorie Taylor green from yesterday. 00:10:32.870 --> 00:10:36.730 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, but, but she 00:10:36.730 --> 00:10:39.009 isn't like changing forms at random. Like if 00:10:39.009 --> 00:10:40.730 you did what you were supposed to do and got 00:10:40.730 --> 00:10:43.029 your chores done, you'll get like the Galadriel 00:10:43.029 --> 00:10:46.850 version of her. And if you didn't, well, it sucks. 00:10:46.970 --> 00:10:50.190 It's kind of like you, did you watch season one 00:10:50.190 --> 00:10:52.620 of American horror story? Yeah. You know, you 00:10:52.620 --> 00:10:54.340 know, the maid, like it's kind of like that. 00:10:54.360 --> 00:10:56.399 Right, right, right. The maid would either be 00:10:56.399 --> 00:10:59.360 that like really pretty Irish lady or it would 00:10:59.360 --> 00:11:02.279 be that horrifying. Yeah. So it's like two people 00:11:02.279 --> 00:11:04.779 can be looking at the same person, but they're 00:11:04.779 --> 00:11:07.220 seeing two different versions of the same thing. 00:11:07.220 --> 00:11:09.639 If that makes sense. Yeah. So it's like the lady 00:11:09.639 --> 00:11:12.639 in the bathtub in the shining. Well, yeah, but 00:11:12.639 --> 00:11:15.460 didn't she like she's transformed. She was. Well, 00:11:15.519 --> 00:11:19.230 yeah, because Jack Nicholson. was all all work 00:11:19.230 --> 00:11:21.690 and no play made jack a dull boy and so because 00:11:21.690 --> 00:11:25.029 he became a dull boy it's not like that though 00:11:25.029 --> 00:11:30.529 i know it's not but i do like the the american 00:11:30.529 --> 00:11:32.830 horror story illusion that works i feel like 00:11:32.830 --> 00:11:35.009 that's the best way to describe yeah no that's 00:11:35.009 --> 00:11:37.409 perfect all right so now we got like a brief 00:11:37.409 --> 00:11:39.769 little overview of who she is and what her deal 00:11:39.769 --> 00:11:42.289 is kind of and you know what she may or may not 00:11:42.289 --> 00:11:44.710 be looking like uh let's talk more about the 00:11:44.710 --> 00:11:47.490 rules she has how she rewards you for following 00:11:47.490 --> 00:11:49.029 those rules, and then, of course, we're going 00:11:49.029 --> 00:11:51.149 to talk about the punishments if you break said 00:11:51.149 --> 00:11:53.110 rules. So like I said, she has a checklist. I 00:11:53.110 --> 00:11:54.990 kind of gave you a quick summary of what's on 00:11:54.990 --> 00:11:58.269 it, but it's a little more detailed than that. 00:11:58.570 --> 00:12:02.610 So first and foremost, the house. It had to be 00:12:02.610 --> 00:12:05.049 clean, has to be orderly, not falling apart. 00:12:05.610 --> 00:12:09.009 Winter in the Alpine region is brutal, and a 00:12:09.009 --> 00:12:10.889 sloppy house wasn't just embarrassing, it was 00:12:10.889 --> 00:12:12.990 dangerous. So she just wanted to make sure that 00:12:12.990 --> 00:12:15.240 you're keeping it together. when it actually 00:12:15.240 --> 00:12:17.980 matters. Then there's work, especially the winter 00:12:17.980 --> 00:12:20.379 work. Chores had to be done, tasks had to be 00:12:20.379 --> 00:12:23.019 completed, but there was one job over all the 00:12:23.019 --> 00:12:26.100 others that absolutely needed to be done, and 00:12:26.100 --> 00:12:29.200 that was spinning. So for anyone who doesn't 00:12:29.200 --> 00:12:30.879 know what spinning is, it's basically when you 00:12:30.879 --> 00:12:33.700 take raw material like wool or something along 00:12:33.700 --> 00:12:35.460 those lines and you spin it into thread so your 00:12:35.460 --> 00:12:37.639 family is able to make clothes, blankets, and 00:12:37.639 --> 00:12:40.240 anything else that they may need to survive the 00:12:40.240 --> 00:12:43.830 winter. And all of that spinning, along with 00:12:43.830 --> 00:12:45.889 the other day -to -day chores, was supposed to 00:12:45.889 --> 00:12:48.370 be finished before the 12 days of Christmas. 00:12:48.490 --> 00:12:53.570 Now, I learned something when writing this episode, 00:12:53.669 --> 00:12:56.690 and I don't know if I'm the only one who didn't 00:12:56.690 --> 00:12:59.509 know this, but apparently the 12 days of Christmas 00:12:59.509 --> 00:13:02.809 aren't the 12 days leading up to Christmas. They 00:13:02.809 --> 00:13:06.870 start on Christmas. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so I agree 00:13:06.870 --> 00:13:12.710 that... I had no idea as well until like last 00:13:12.710 --> 00:13:15.889 year. I had no idea. So for anyone who doesn't 00:13:15.889 --> 00:13:18.470 know, apparently Christmas is like day one and 00:13:18.470 --> 00:13:22.049 then the 12 days run from December 25th to January 00:13:22.049 --> 00:13:25.409 5th. And then January 6th in the Alpine region 00:13:25.409 --> 00:13:27.429 or maybe everywhere, I don't know, is the beginning 00:13:27.429 --> 00:13:30.009 of something called epiphany. Yeah. It's all 00:13:30.009 --> 00:13:33.549 three wise men. Yeah. So January 6th is the beginning 00:13:33.549 --> 00:13:37.029 of epiphany or what the locals here call. Perkta's 00:13:37.029 --> 00:13:38.950 night, which is the night that she shows up and 00:13:38.950 --> 00:13:42.330 makes her final call and that marks like the 00:13:42.330 --> 00:13:47.190 end of the season. It's not great. But yeah, 00:13:47.269 --> 00:13:49.330 so it turns out Christmas wasn't just a day back 00:13:49.330 --> 00:13:51.009 then. It was like this whole stretch of time 00:13:51.009 --> 00:13:53.309 and that stretch of time was pretty dangerous 00:13:53.309 --> 00:13:55.789 because those 12 nights were considered sort 00:13:55.789 --> 00:13:59.190 of like an in -between period when spirits were 00:13:59.190 --> 00:14:02.190 more active and Perkta was watching the entire 00:14:02.190 --> 00:14:04.549 time. So rules mattered during the 12 days of 00:14:04.549 --> 00:14:07.139 Christmas more than the rest of the year. But 00:14:07.139 --> 00:14:10.840 anyways, back to spinning. So you had to make 00:14:10.840 --> 00:14:12.700 sure that all that shit was done before the 12 00:14:12.700 --> 00:14:14.460 -day started because if Perictus showed up and 00:14:14.460 --> 00:14:17.179 finds unfinished spinning, like a tangle flax 00:14:17.179 --> 00:14:19.679 or wool laying around or someone still working 00:14:19.679 --> 00:14:22.360 the spindle when they weren't supposed to, that's 00:14:22.360 --> 00:14:25.100 a fucking problem. And then there's food. Not 00:14:25.100 --> 00:14:27.200 only making sure you got enough of it to get 00:14:27.200 --> 00:14:29.399 through the winter, there was also very specific 00:14:29.399 --> 00:14:31.940 rules about what you were supposed to eat on 00:14:31.940 --> 00:14:34.789 Perictus night. Things like porridge, gruel, 00:14:34.809 --> 00:14:37.330 and fish. Nothing rich or indulgent. Basically 00:14:37.330 --> 00:14:40.149 peasant food, pretty much. Which, let's be honest, 00:14:40.350 --> 00:14:42.149 that's probably a lot of what they're eating. 00:14:43.149 --> 00:14:45.110 They're like, oh no, we put away the rack of 00:14:45.110 --> 00:14:48.330 lamb until after practice night. Yeah, and you 00:14:48.330 --> 00:14:49.970 better believe that she was checking in on that, 00:14:49.990 --> 00:14:51.990 too. She was like a real stickler for the rules, 00:14:52.090 --> 00:14:58.070 this lady. She sounds like an asshole. You think 00:14:58.070 --> 00:15:00.789 that, but it's more complicated than that. Because 00:15:00.789 --> 00:15:03.929 if you followed said rules, like if the house 00:15:03.929 --> 00:15:06.269 was in tip -top shape, the work was getting done, 00:15:06.710 --> 00:15:08.789 Perkta could actually be pretty generous. Some 00:15:08.789 --> 00:15:10.570 families believe that the morning after Perkta 00:15:10.570 --> 00:15:13.049 night, they would wake up rewarded. Maybe like 00:15:13.049 --> 00:15:15.450 a small gift or a coin dropped in a shoe or a 00:15:15.450 --> 00:15:17.490 bucket or even just a sign that the coming year 00:15:17.490 --> 00:15:19.610 would be a fruitful one. Which isn't much, but 00:15:19.610 --> 00:15:21.549 they didn't really have like fucking... PS5s 00:15:21.549 --> 00:15:23.830 back then, so you get what you get, I guess. 00:15:24.129 --> 00:15:27.230 Coin is like a PS5. Yeah, so basically it's follow 00:15:27.230 --> 00:15:29.710 the rules, put some respect on her name, and 00:15:29.710 --> 00:15:31.629 don't go for a reason to be pissed off at you. 00:15:31.669 --> 00:15:33.549 Because if you didn't follow the rules, and your 00:15:33.549 --> 00:15:35.889 house is trash, your work isn't done, and you 00:15:35.889 --> 00:15:38.509 decided to eat a nice surf and turf on practice 00:15:38.509 --> 00:15:42.149 night, it's going to be a bad time, Sarge. What 00:15:42.149 --> 00:15:46.169 an asshole, though. She's like the fucking neighborhood 00:15:46.169 --> 00:15:50.830 association. I'm sorry. Your trash cans are two 00:15:50.830 --> 00:15:52.529 inches from the curb. I'm going to have to write 00:15:52.529 --> 00:15:54.870 you a ticket. Yeah, but it'll all make sense. 00:15:55.590 --> 00:15:58.389 Maybe. Okay. I don't know. Now, like I said, 00:15:58.429 --> 00:16:00.210 it's going to be a bad time. And by bad time, 00:16:00.370 --> 00:16:02.990 I don't mean like, oh, no, I got a lump of coal. 00:16:03.309 --> 00:16:07.470 I mean, I mean, I mean, in the most literal sense 00:16:07.470 --> 00:16:09.769 of the phrase, because Frau Pekta isn't the type 00:16:09.769 --> 00:16:11.549 of figure to give second chances. There's no, 00:16:11.669 --> 00:16:14.549 hey, maybe next year, champ, when it comes to 00:16:14.549 --> 00:16:17.000 her. If your house is a mess, your work isn't 00:16:17.000 --> 00:16:20.139 done, and you ignored all the rules, you fail 00:16:20.139 --> 00:16:21.899 her inspection, and now you need to be punished. 00:16:22.200 --> 00:16:24.379 And Pericta's punishment for a failed inspection 00:16:24.379 --> 00:16:27.620 is very specific. So she comes into the home 00:16:27.620 --> 00:16:29.440 while everyone is sleeping, and if she finds, 00:16:29.460 --> 00:16:32.480 say, a lazy child, a disobedient servant, or 00:16:32.480 --> 00:16:34.460 someone who wasn't pulling their weight, what 00:16:34.460 --> 00:16:37.830 she would do is she would cut them open. reach 00:16:37.830 --> 00:16:40.570 inside, pull out all of their internal organs, 00:16:40.710 --> 00:16:42.830 and then stuff the empty cavity with pretty much 00:16:42.830 --> 00:16:45.570 whatever was within arm's reach. Straw, sticks, 00:16:45.889 --> 00:16:48.450 rocks, literal garbage. And then she would just 00:16:48.450 --> 00:16:51.590 sew you back up. Some stories say she uses a 00:16:51.590 --> 00:16:53.769 plowshare to slice open her victims, which is 00:16:53.769 --> 00:16:56.350 the business end of a field plow. And then she 00:16:56.350 --> 00:17:00.889 would use iron chains as the thread to sew the 00:17:00.889 --> 00:17:04.589 bodies closed. That doesn't sound effective to 00:17:04.589 --> 00:17:10.490 me. Yeah, but the visual is so good. Yeah. It's 00:17:10.490 --> 00:17:12.230 going to be a thin chain, I'm guessing. Yeah. 00:17:12.309 --> 00:17:16.170 And then after that, she just leaves. She just 00:17:16.170 --> 00:17:20.910 fucking pieces out, leaving your body filled 00:17:20.910 --> 00:17:24.410 with trash for the family to find the next morning. 00:17:24.609 --> 00:17:28.390 So your punishment for being unsafe is death. 00:17:28.589 --> 00:17:32.420 Yeah. And your punishment for being dirty. is 00:17:32.420 --> 00:17:35.099 to become dirtier by having your entrails scattered 00:17:35.099 --> 00:17:37.660 around your house. Yeah. Pretty ironic, right? 00:17:38.440 --> 00:17:42.740 That checks out. That's logical. Yeah. And in 00:17:42.740 --> 00:17:44.740 some cases, her punishments were very targeted. 00:17:44.900 --> 00:17:47.640 Like in some regions, if you ate rich food on 00:17:47.640 --> 00:17:49.960 practice night instead of the traditional beige 00:17:49.960 --> 00:17:53.480 paste or whatever, she wouldn't kill you per 00:17:53.480 --> 00:17:56.599 se. She would just cut you open and then replace 00:17:56.599 --> 00:17:59.619 your stomach contents with straw and rocks, which... 00:18:00.170 --> 00:18:02.009 It would kill you eventually, I assume, but even 00:18:02.009 --> 00:18:04.190 if it doesn't, that fucking sucks. It'd be a 00:18:04.190 --> 00:18:08.869 rough poop, that's for sure. But, like you've 00:18:08.869 --> 00:18:10.349 been saying, but I think it's important to note, 00:18:10.509 --> 00:18:14.289 like, this is what you think, I'm gonna... These 00:18:14.289 --> 00:18:16.609 punishments seem a bit over the top by today's 00:18:16.609 --> 00:18:20.730 standards, for sure. Like, a little weird. Back 00:18:20.730 --> 00:18:23.970 in the day, things like laziness, disorder, wastefulness, 00:18:24.069 --> 00:18:26.049 these weren't, like, personality flaws. She wasn't 00:18:26.049 --> 00:18:28.640 judging you personally. Like, she was... Punishing 00:18:28.640 --> 00:18:31.000 these people that she's punishing threatened 00:18:31.000 --> 00:18:33.420 their family's chances at survival during the 00:18:33.420 --> 00:18:36.599 winter. These people were liabilities. Yeah. 00:18:36.759 --> 00:18:39.240 Yeah. And what better way to fix that than by 00:18:39.240 --> 00:18:42.279 killing them? Hey, man, if there's if there's, 00:18:42.299 --> 00:18:49.960 you know, and yeah, so and it make things worse. 00:18:50.119 --> 00:18:52.980 Sometimes she didn't act alone. Some legends 00:18:52.980 --> 00:18:54.740 say she traveled around with a whole ass crew 00:18:54.740 --> 00:18:57.880 known as the Perkton. sometimes described as 00:18:57.880 --> 00:18:59.900 fucked up looking animals. Other times they were 00:18:59.900 --> 00:19:06.460 the souls of dead and unbaptized babies. If I 00:19:06.460 --> 00:19:08.799 had a dime for every time an unbaptized baby 00:19:08.799 --> 00:19:11.519 came up in a story like this. So if you failed 00:19:11.519 --> 00:19:13.839 her inspection, you're getting murdered not just 00:19:13.839 --> 00:19:16.380 by her, but her and a bunch of ghost babies, 00:19:16.579 --> 00:19:20.119 which is somehow way worse. So much better, actually. 00:19:20.640 --> 00:19:24.829 It's so awesome. Sounds like a death metal music 00:19:24.829 --> 00:19:29.089 video. Yeah, it's gnarly. And the people of this 00:19:29.089 --> 00:19:31.109 region, they didn't think of Frau Perchta as 00:19:31.109 --> 00:19:33.690 some old legend that happened once, and then 00:19:33.690 --> 00:19:35.829 they just continued on with the tradition the 00:19:35.829 --> 00:19:38.329 same way we do with Santa Claus or Bobby Bonilla 00:19:38.329 --> 00:19:43.309 Day or whatever. Frau Perchta, to them, she was 00:19:43.309 --> 00:19:46.630 inevitable. Every winter, every year, during 00:19:46.630 --> 00:19:48.690 the same stretch of nights, she was something 00:19:48.690 --> 00:19:50.869 people expected to show up seasonally, which 00:19:50.869 --> 00:19:54.450 also means that... In some places, the Perichten, 00:19:54.630 --> 00:19:58.250 the spooky ghost babies, were also a real problem 00:19:58.250 --> 00:20:00.730 that had to be dealt with. And this is where 00:20:00.730 --> 00:20:03.490 things start to shift from folklore to real world 00:20:03.490 --> 00:20:06.390 behaviors. Because at a certain point, I'm not 00:20:06.390 --> 00:20:08.710 really clear when, but people in parts of Austria 00:20:08.710 --> 00:20:10.930 and Bavaria stopped just talking about them and 00:20:10.930 --> 00:20:13.309 started becoming them in what came to be known 00:20:13.309 --> 00:20:17.829 as Perichtenlauf, which they were winter processions 00:20:17.829 --> 00:20:20.480 where people dressed up as the Perichten. and 00:20:20.480 --> 00:20:23.339 walk through the towns at night around like epiphany 00:20:23.339 --> 00:20:26.039 time and when i say dressed up i mean they went 00:20:26.039 --> 00:20:28.549 all out it wasn't like spirit of halloween costumes 00:20:28.549 --> 00:20:31.369 like these were massive hand -carved wooden masks 00:20:31.369 --> 00:20:34.349 with horn tusks fangs the whole nine yard they 00:20:34.349 --> 00:20:38.049 had on animal hides and furs chains huge cowbells 00:20:38.049 --> 00:20:40.250 strapped around their waists and they would charge 00:20:40.250 --> 00:20:42.430 through the streets ringing their bells cracking 00:20:42.430 --> 00:20:45.049 whips screaming jumping just get right in people's 00:20:45.049 --> 00:20:48.509 faces and the idea behind this i guess was to 00:20:48.509 --> 00:20:51.990 scare off any evil spirits bad luck or sickness 00:20:51.990 --> 00:20:54.029 that was still hanging around from the past year 00:20:54.029 --> 00:20:56.960 basically they were trying to out threaten the 00:20:56.960 --> 00:21:00.720 threat of winter. If that makes sense. This is 00:21:00.720 --> 00:21:03.079 something I could get behind. Yeah. And these 00:21:03.079 --> 00:21:05.900 processions would also reflect the same dual 00:21:05.900 --> 00:21:08.779 vibe that character herself gave off. There were 00:21:08.779 --> 00:21:12.339 the. I don't know, this I did not look up how 00:21:12.339 --> 00:21:15.460 to pronounce, the schoonperichten, or beautiful 00:21:15.460 --> 00:21:19.039 perichten. They were clean, ornate masks in white 00:21:19.039 --> 00:21:21.640 or brighter colored clothing, and they were meant 00:21:21.640 --> 00:21:23.960 to bring good luck, wealth, and prosperity for 00:21:23.960 --> 00:21:26.599 the upcoming year. Then there was the skiachprauten. 00:21:27.440 --> 00:21:30.279 They were the ones I described earlier. Horn 00:21:30.279 --> 00:21:33.640 masks, furs, and chains, loud, aggressive. Their 00:21:33.640 --> 00:21:35.380 whole thing was to scare the piss out of anything 00:21:35.380 --> 00:21:38.339 bad that hadn't left. So, same tradition, same 00:21:38.339 --> 00:21:41.279 night. Two very different vibes, just like Frau 00:21:41.279 --> 00:21:47.240 Perchta. So the Schoon Perchten or the Skia Perchten, 00:21:47.339 --> 00:21:52.619 if you're nasty. Yeah, pretty much. And this 00:21:52.619 --> 00:21:54.920 was like a whole thing. Entire towns took part. 00:21:55.039 --> 00:21:57.279 Kids watched. They had a blast. Families planned 00:21:57.279 --> 00:21:59.319 around it. It was a tradition. And like I said, 00:21:59.400 --> 00:22:02.420 it seemed pretty rad. You know who didn't think 00:22:02.420 --> 00:22:06.319 this was rad, though? The church. Exactly. Of 00:22:06.319 --> 00:22:11.079 course. Of course. They're ruined. Oh, you having 00:22:11.079 --> 00:22:13.819 a good time? Let's ruin it with some Christ. 00:22:14.140 --> 00:22:16.339 Yeah, from the church's point of view, this was 00:22:16.339 --> 00:22:18.880 just straight up heresy. You've got people leaving 00:22:18.880 --> 00:22:22.160 offerings for some pagan winter witch that roams 00:22:22.160 --> 00:22:24.180 the countryside and turns you into a human scarecrow 00:22:24.180 --> 00:22:26.019 if you don't follow her rules. And you also got 00:22:26.019 --> 00:22:28.079 grown -ass adults dressing up as demons, ringing 00:22:28.079 --> 00:22:29.900 bells and cracking whips at all hours of the 00:22:29.900 --> 00:22:32.359 night to protect them from said winter witch. 00:22:32.839 --> 00:22:34.700 This is not what Jesus Christ would have wanted. 00:22:35.039 --> 00:22:37.460 So by the late medieval period, Church officials 00:22:37.460 --> 00:22:40.940 were openly condemning Frau Perekta. Sermons 00:22:40.940 --> 00:22:43.240 and church records from the 1400s specifically 00:22:43.240 --> 00:22:45.640 call out people for leaving out food for her 00:22:45.640 --> 00:22:47.980 and her followers and accuse them of hanging 00:22:47.980 --> 00:22:50.559 on to pagan superstitions instead of Christian 00:22:50.559 --> 00:22:53.960 beliefs. Assholes. Yeah. These people are assholes. 00:22:54.099 --> 00:22:56.420 Yeah, the church. You're ruining a beautiful 00:22:56.420 --> 00:22:59.140 tradition. And the church really went out of 00:22:59.140 --> 00:23:01.259 their way to demonize the fuck out of her. Instead 00:23:01.259 --> 00:23:03.880 of the strict household enforcer or Windsor Guardian 00:23:03.880 --> 00:23:07.019 that she was, they started labeling her a witch, 00:23:07.099 --> 00:23:09.940 a devil, and the leader of an unholy night procession. 00:23:09.940 --> 00:23:11.980 And if you and your family were a believer in 00:23:11.980 --> 00:23:14.539 Perekta, you were siding with something evil. 00:23:14.839 --> 00:23:17.400 Let me see if I've got this straight. The church 00:23:17.400 --> 00:23:21.660 was saying, they're kind of doing the Trump approach 00:23:21.660 --> 00:23:24.000 to the Epstein files. They both don't exist. 00:23:24.519 --> 00:23:29.069 Yeah. And if they do exist and you like it, you're 00:23:29.069 --> 00:23:33.970 bad. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. But here's the thing, 00:23:33.990 --> 00:23:37.349 Sarge. It didn't work. No one gave a fuck what 00:23:37.349 --> 00:23:39.289 the church thought. Of course not. They're like, 00:23:39.369 --> 00:23:41.509 fuck the church. The people didn't stop believing 00:23:41.509 --> 00:23:43.349 in her. They didn't stop believing her offerings. 00:23:43.589 --> 00:23:45.329 They didn't stop anything. Sure, they may have 00:23:45.329 --> 00:23:49.349 reframed some things. Some places kind of sanded 00:23:49.349 --> 00:23:52.390 down some of the sharper edges. Softened up the 00:23:52.390 --> 00:23:54.250 edges. Yeah. Other places. They gave her a glow 00:23:54.250 --> 00:23:56.619 up. Other places, they actually leaned harder 00:23:56.619 --> 00:23:59.240 into those same sharp edges, but the rituals, 00:23:59.420 --> 00:24:01.859 the masks, the noise, those things, they were 00:24:01.859 --> 00:24:04.539 there to stay. Those are my people. Yeah, because 00:24:04.539 --> 00:24:07.000 when winter is still dangerous and the dark still 00:24:07.000 --> 00:24:09.119 feels alive, no matter what the church has to 00:24:09.119 --> 00:24:11.720 say about it, people aren't going to let go of 00:24:11.720 --> 00:24:13.940 the things that they think will protect them. 00:24:14.440 --> 00:24:16.859 Right. And that's what's awesome about Frau Prakta. 00:24:17.000 --> 00:24:18.940 As hard as the church may have tried, she never 00:24:18.940 --> 00:24:22.049 really went away. even today in parts of Austria 00:24:22.049 --> 00:24:25.390 and Bavaria, Perks in Lauf still happens every 00:24:25.390 --> 00:24:27.789 winter. It's kind of just like a part of life 00:24:27.789 --> 00:24:29.730 there now. It's something that's always been 00:24:29.730 --> 00:24:32.529 done. And they'll tell you, you know, no one 00:24:32.529 --> 00:24:34.470 actually believes in that stuff anymore. And 00:24:34.470 --> 00:24:36.789 sure, on some level, that's true. But the timing 00:24:36.789 --> 00:24:39.170 hasn't changed. The masks haven't changed. The 00:24:39.170 --> 00:24:41.650 noise hasn't changed. It still happens in the 00:24:41.650 --> 00:24:44.049 den of winter right around Epiphany during the 00:24:44.049 --> 00:24:46.089 same stretch of nights when people used to believe 00:24:46.089 --> 00:24:48.490 something was out there watching. I mean, yeah, 00:24:48.509 --> 00:24:51.490 sure. Now it's... beer and people whipping out 00:24:51.490 --> 00:24:53.250 their phones to take pictures and kids are laughing 00:24:53.250 --> 00:24:55.250 without the internalized fear that they might 00:24:55.250 --> 00:24:58.190 get disemboweled by a frost hag but the tradition 00:24:58.190 --> 00:25:00.970 ritual is still there because frau parkta was 00:25:00.970 --> 00:25:04.170 at least in my opinion never really about belief 00:25:04.170 --> 00:25:07.170 if that makes sense like she was about order 00:25:07.170 --> 00:25:09.630 and doing the work when the work mattered and 00:25:09.630 --> 00:25:11.329 keeping your house together when winter could 00:25:11.329 --> 00:25:13.769 actually just straight up fucking kill you so 00:25:13.769 --> 00:25:16.210 it wasn't about frau parkta needs a movie yeah 00:25:16.210 --> 00:25:18.849 it was it wasn't about faith or whatever like 00:25:19.210 --> 00:25:21.450 You didn't need it. What you needed was discipline. 00:25:21.730 --> 00:25:25.109 So sure, maybe now no one thinks Frau is going 00:25:25.109 --> 00:25:26.569 to kick down your door in the middle of the night 00:25:26.569 --> 00:25:28.769 and gut you like a fish anymore. But every year 00:25:28.769 --> 00:25:31.230 at the same time, people still clean their house. 00:25:31.349 --> 00:25:33.869 They do their chores. They still put on the masks 00:25:33.869 --> 00:25:35.490 and they still make all that noise, you know, 00:25:35.490 --> 00:25:39.390 just in case. I love it. So there you go, Sarge. 00:25:39.569 --> 00:25:42.730 That is the legend of Frau Pärkta. How are you 00:25:42.730 --> 00:25:45.289 feeling? I fucking love it. This is so great. 00:25:45.470 --> 00:25:48.460 Yeah, it was a good story. It gives me life. 00:25:48.579 --> 00:25:50.519 I like it even more when the church is like, 00:25:50.579 --> 00:25:52.200 no, you can't do that anymore. And everybody's 00:25:52.200 --> 00:25:54.539 like, oh yeah, bet. I'm now I'm going to do it 00:25:54.539 --> 00:25:58.079 more. It's like they leaned harder into it. And 00:25:58.079 --> 00:26:02.400 I fucking love that. It's like when my kids tell 00:26:02.400 --> 00:26:04.440 me to stop singing in the car. So I sing louder. 00:26:04.940 --> 00:26:07.200 Yeah. And it's not like they were like, oh, we'll 00:26:07.200 --> 00:26:10.079 just do it in secret. So the church can't find 00:26:10.079 --> 00:26:13.039 out. They're like, nah, dude, fuck you. Fuck 00:26:13.039 --> 00:26:15.720 your baby Jesus. Yeah. What are you going to 00:26:15.720 --> 00:26:19.170 do about it? Right? Stupid baby. You can't stop 00:26:19.170 --> 00:26:21.650 me. I can do shit about it. Eat a dick. You got 00:26:21.650 --> 00:26:27.470 one baby. We got eight ghost babies. Yeah. It's 00:26:27.470 --> 00:26:29.769 fucking great. I love it. I love it. I love it. 00:26:30.430 --> 00:26:32.809 Oh, shit. All right. Well, yeah, that's it. That's 00:26:32.809 --> 00:26:34.829 all I got. It was a little shorter of an episode, 00:26:34.950 --> 00:26:39.089 but it was something fun. We haven't done a Christmas, 00:26:39.109 --> 00:26:40.630 you know? Sometimes, like I said, I got in the 00:26:40.630 --> 00:26:41.950 Christmas spirit. I want to talk about Christmas 00:26:41.950 --> 00:26:44.250 shit. Will we do more Christmas episodes? Maybe. 00:26:44.309 --> 00:26:46.920 Maybe not. Who knows? I want to come up with 00:26:46.920 --> 00:26:49.980 a New England themed version of Frau Perchta. 00:26:51.200 --> 00:26:53.660 Not like Frau Perchta, but like something that 00:26:53.660 --> 00:26:58.019 happens around every Christmas. Okay. Like maybe 00:26:58.019 --> 00:27:01.259 it's a plow guy at Dunkin' Donuts. I don't know. 00:27:01.319 --> 00:27:04.519 I'll come up with something. Maybe kind of like 00:27:04.519 --> 00:27:09.720 the salt guy from Home Alone. Yeah, from Home 00:27:09.720 --> 00:27:14.700 Alone. Yeah. Give him a backstory. Yeah. You 00:27:14.700 --> 00:27:17.359 know, we'll workshop it. Yeah. If you don't order 00:27:17.359 --> 00:27:19.380 an iced coffee in a snowstorm, he hits you with 00:27:19.380 --> 00:27:22.960 a shovel. Because he knows you're not from here. 00:27:25.819 --> 00:27:27.799 You're not wearing a t -shirt and shorts and 00:27:27.799 --> 00:27:30.740 12 degree weather. Getting your iced coffee from 00:27:30.740 --> 00:27:34.720 Dunks. I was actually describing to someone who's 00:27:34.720 --> 00:27:38.819 not from Massachusetts. My father, who is... 00:27:38.819 --> 00:27:42.500 I was like, you know how like an elephant seal... 00:27:42.750 --> 00:27:45.150 is kind of clumsy and slow on land. But once 00:27:45.150 --> 00:27:47.309 it gets in the water, it's like super elegant 00:27:47.309 --> 00:27:50.410 and it can move around and do all those acrobatics 00:27:50.410 --> 00:27:53.369 in the water. Yeah. That's like my dad in the 00:27:53.369 --> 00:27:57.450 snow. The man just becomes this gazelle. Like 00:27:57.450 --> 00:28:00.750 he can just handle winter. I mean, his, it's 00:28:00.750 --> 00:28:02.869 like his body was designed for it. That makes 00:28:02.869 --> 00:28:04.309 sense. They're all, they're all built different. 00:28:04.769 --> 00:28:09.069 Yeah. It's definitely a, a certain breed of man 00:28:09.069 --> 00:28:15.019 or people, I guess. oh shit alright Sarge well 00:28:15.019 --> 00:28:17.140 you got any closing thoughts any questions concerns 00:28:17.140 --> 00:28:23.140 comments no I love this I want Frau Perchta I 00:28:23.140 --> 00:28:26.359 want ghost babies to just fucking run amok I 00:28:26.359 --> 00:28:30.000 think that would be the coolest thing ever yeah 00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:34.000 we need tradition I feel like America doesn't 00:28:34.000 --> 00:28:36.529 have we don't have anything cool like this We 00:28:36.529 --> 00:28:37.869 need, that's what I'm saying. We need to, at 00:28:37.869 --> 00:28:39.529 least new England needs to create something. 00:28:39.609 --> 00:28:41.490 Cause we're like the old country, you know? I 00:28:41.490 --> 00:28:45.130 agree. I agree. Yeah. Again, if, and if anyone 00:28:45.130 --> 00:28:46.769 listening has any ideas, shoot us an email at 00:28:46.769 --> 00:28:49.490 crypto cocktail, gmail .com. We'll come up with 00:28:49.490 --> 00:28:51.509 our own Christmas folklore. I want to hear about 00:28:51.509 --> 00:28:54.049 it. I want more. It'll be great. All right, Sarge. 00:28:54.069 --> 00:28:56.650 Well, that's it. That's all I got. I'm freezing. 00:28:57.329 --> 00:28:59.490 All right. Well, you can all find us on the social 00:28:59.490 --> 00:29:02.470 medias. Yeah. Google Cryptid Cocktail Party. 00:29:02.589 --> 00:29:07.930 Google Saja Destroyer. Destroyer. The hangover's 00:29:07.930 --> 00:29:10.910 kicking in. Google Saja Destroyer. You'll find 00:29:10.910 --> 00:29:12.549 me or you'll find me on the Cryptid Cocktail 00:29:12.549 --> 00:29:15.990 Party page. Yeah. Don't Google Dave. There's 00:29:15.990 --> 00:29:22.950 a lot of them. Yeah. And most of them aren't 00:29:22.950 --> 00:29:27.000 me. That's, you know, that's fair. Yeah. So, 00:29:27.059 --> 00:29:30.480 yeah. Follow us wherever you can. Instagram, 00:29:30.640 --> 00:29:34.519 all that stuff. Creepy Cocktail. Maybe leave 00:29:34.519 --> 00:29:36.299 us a rating and review. It's Christmas time. 00:29:36.299 --> 00:29:38.319 Yeah, please do that. You know, just be generous. 00:29:38.660 --> 00:29:40.920 And, you know, it takes two seconds. Just a little 00:29:40.920 --> 00:29:44.240 follow five star. You know, maybe on Apple. Write 00:29:44.240 --> 00:29:46.240 something nice about us. You don't have to. I'm 00:29:46.240 --> 00:29:49.440 just saying. It'd be cool. Yeah. All right. I 00:29:49.440 --> 00:29:51.500 think that's all I got. And with that out of 00:29:51.500 --> 00:29:52.640 the way, Sarge, would you like to say goodbye? 00:29:52.759 --> 00:29:56.400 And I love you to the audience. Goodbye, and 00:29:56.400 --> 00:29:56.779 I love you.