WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.339 You are now listening to Cryptid Cocktail Party 00:00:40.829 --> 00:00:42.750 Welcome back, everyone, to another episode of 00:00:42.750 --> 00:00:44.170 Cryptic Cocktail Party, a show where we have 00:00:44.170 --> 00:00:46.030 a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive 00:00:46.030 --> 00:00:48.869 into the unknown. I'm your host, Dave. Once again, 00:00:48.969 --> 00:00:51.869 not always joined by my wonderful co -host, Sarge. 00:00:51.890 --> 00:00:53.810 Today, I have another special co -host, and that 00:00:53.810 --> 00:00:56.570 is Brennan Storr. You may know him as the voice 00:00:56.570 --> 00:00:59.070 from the Ghost Story guys, or at least one of 00:00:59.070 --> 00:01:00.850 the voices. It doesn't matter. Anyways, how's 00:01:00.850 --> 00:01:03.210 it going, man? What's going on? How's life? Hey, 00:01:03.250 --> 00:01:05.230 man. I'm good. I'm good. I'm happy to be here. 00:01:05.290 --> 00:01:08.650 I'm happy to be the discount Sarge for today. 00:01:08.890 --> 00:01:14.879 Aw, don't. Don't say that. I'm Timu Sarge. All 00:01:14.879 --> 00:01:17.780 right. I am totally fine with that. No, I'm good, 00:01:18.500 --> 00:01:21.000 man. I was drinking red wine on my couch and 00:01:21.000 --> 00:01:22.980 watching Beyond Skinwalker Ranch this morning, 00:01:23.040 --> 00:01:26.040 and now I'm here, so it's a good day. All right. 00:01:26.040 --> 00:01:27.900 Well, it seems like your day is just going to 00:01:27.900 --> 00:01:30.079 be filled with just nonsense, and I love that 00:01:30.079 --> 00:01:32.920 for you. It's going to be great. I'm a full -time 00:01:32.920 --> 00:01:34.859 podcaster, man. All my days are filled with nonsense. 00:01:35.079 --> 00:01:38.269 There you go. I'm glad you're doing good. I'm 00:01:38.269 --> 00:01:40.750 glad you're here. Thanks again for taking the 00:01:40.750 --> 00:01:44.409 time to do this for me. I know Sarge appreciates 00:01:44.409 --> 00:01:46.549 it, and hopefully if the episode goes good, our 00:01:46.549 --> 00:01:49.049 audience will appreciate it. Fingers crossed. 00:01:49.269 --> 00:01:51.269 I mean, I can't see it going too bad. We've already 00:01:51.269 --> 00:01:53.810 had technical issues and probably still are, 00:01:53.930 --> 00:01:56.989 but who knows? It's going to be fine. Oh, 100%. 00:01:56.989 --> 00:01:58.750 I'm just waiting to look outside my window like 00:01:58.750 --> 00:02:00.670 Robert Pattinson and remember me to see a fucking 00:02:00.670 --> 00:02:04.560 plane barreling towards me. Yeah, that seems 00:02:04.560 --> 00:02:06.319 like it'll be pretty par for the course. For 00:02:06.319 --> 00:02:08.599 anyone who remembers the film Remember Me. Yeah, 00:02:08.620 --> 00:02:12.240 that was one hell of a twist ending. I don't 00:02:12.240 --> 00:02:14.560 think I was expecting that. I know, right? Six 00:02:14.560 --> 00:02:18.879 cents my ass. 9 -11. I think more films should 00:02:18.879 --> 00:02:29.250 end with a surprise 9 -11ing. You know? The bad 00:02:29.250 --> 00:02:32.389 news bears, the kids are celebrating. Bro, I 00:02:32.389 --> 00:02:36.189 would go to the movies so often if I knew there 00:02:36.189 --> 00:02:37.889 was a chance that one of those movies would have 00:02:37.889 --> 00:02:43.650 another Surprise 9 -11. I just went to go see 00:02:43.650 --> 00:02:45.469 F1 again the other day. Loved that movie, but 00:02:45.469 --> 00:02:47.530 I'm telling you, Surprise 9 -11 at the end would 00:02:47.530 --> 00:02:52.650 sure perk things up. Oh, fuck. Brad Pitt, we 00:02:52.650 --> 00:02:56.460 won. Formula... Oh, the humanity. More like Formula 00:02:56.460 --> 00:03:02.000 911, am I right? Formula 911. Oh, no. Oh, no. 00:03:02.939 --> 00:03:04.719 Well, we're off to a good start. Great start. 00:03:04.819 --> 00:03:09.599 I'm loving this. All right. All right, so real 00:03:09.599 --> 00:03:11.280 quick before we get started, I just wanted to 00:03:11.280 --> 00:03:15.280 give a super quick shout out to Fega and Offbeat 00:03:15.280 --> 00:03:18.419 Philly. My wife and I were invited to check out 00:03:18.419 --> 00:03:20.900 the Philadelphia's Forgotten Dead walking tour 00:03:20.900 --> 00:03:23.449 last week, and it was... It was pretty cool. 00:03:23.550 --> 00:03:26.389 It turns out that there are way more dead bodies 00:03:26.389 --> 00:03:28.729 under your feet than you would think inside of 00:03:28.729 --> 00:03:31.449 a city. And there's actually surprisingly a lot 00:03:31.449 --> 00:03:34.689 less than the actual cemeteries. And that's because, 00:03:34.849 --> 00:03:36.830 and I'm just going to quote here real quick. 00:03:37.090 --> 00:03:39.509 You left the bodies and you only moved the headstones! 00:03:40.189 --> 00:03:46.610 You only moved the headstones! No, but it was 00:03:46.610 --> 00:03:49.750 super fascinating. The tour guide, Faygo, was 00:03:49.750 --> 00:03:53.099 super cool. I can't remember all the stuff that 00:03:53.099 --> 00:03:55.060 we learned, but my favorite takeaway from it, 00:03:55.120 --> 00:03:57.180 and this has really nothing to do with the actual 00:03:57.180 --> 00:03:58.620 tour, I just thought it was a really fun fact, 00:03:58.699 --> 00:04:00.460 was I learned about the moon tree. Do you know 00:04:00.460 --> 00:04:01.979 what the moon trees are? Is that something you 00:04:01.979 --> 00:04:04.139 know of? No, that's a new one on me. All right, 00:04:04.139 --> 00:04:07.560 so the moon trees, apparently it was like a bunch 00:04:07.560 --> 00:04:09.960 of sycamore seeds were brought up into space 00:04:09.960 --> 00:04:12.460 by an astronaut who has also worked for the forestry 00:04:12.460 --> 00:04:15.259 department or something like that. And when they 00:04:15.259 --> 00:04:17.459 got brought back to Earth, they were just given 00:04:17.459 --> 00:04:20.819 to a bunch of cities. like all over the world 00:04:20.819 --> 00:04:23.660 but uh but philly's was like the first sapling 00:04:23.660 --> 00:04:26.259 to be planted and in true philly fashion it just 00:04:26.259 --> 00:04:32.319 died so so so they got another sapling from the 00:04:32.319 --> 00:04:35.160 original tree and then replanted it and that 00:04:35.160 --> 00:04:37.779 also died so now there's just a plaque commemorating 00:04:37.779 --> 00:04:39.920 nothing and it's fucking amazing that's that 00:04:39.920 --> 00:04:41.579 has nothing to do with the actual tour i just 00:04:41.579 --> 00:04:42.920 thought it was a really fun fact and for some 00:04:42.920 --> 00:04:45.339 reason my brain retained that information more 00:04:45.339 --> 00:04:49.350 than Anything else about it? I was going to say, 00:04:49.370 --> 00:04:50.990 isn't Philadelphia also the city that killed 00:04:50.990 --> 00:04:55.290 the hitchhiking robot? That is true, yes. We 00:04:55.290 --> 00:04:59.970 don't do well with outsiders, apparently. That's 00:04:59.970 --> 00:05:02.370 why they couldn't 9 -11 Philly. They would not 00:05:02.370 --> 00:05:06.110 let that shit happen there. But I got a theory 00:05:06.110 --> 00:05:08.970 because it was planted in Washington Square Park, 00:05:09.170 --> 00:05:11.189 which I learned was at one point like a pauper's 00:05:11.189 --> 00:05:12.970 pit and where they buried everyone during the 00:05:12.970 --> 00:05:16.480 yellow fever epidemic. So my theory is that it's 00:05:16.480 --> 00:05:19.300 probably a curse, but that's just me. But yeah, 00:05:19.319 --> 00:05:21.500 anyways, if anyone listening ends up in Philly 00:05:21.500 --> 00:05:23.680 or you already are, go check out Offbeat Philly 00:05:23.680 --> 00:05:25.459 and do the Forgotten Dead Tour. It's super fun, 00:05:25.560 --> 00:05:27.819 and I'll be sure to put a link to their Instagram 00:05:27.819 --> 00:05:29.899 and stuff in the episode description. But yeah, 00:05:29.920 --> 00:05:31.459 I just wanted to give them a quick shout -out 00:05:31.459 --> 00:05:33.420 because it was super fun, and they allowed me 00:05:33.420 --> 00:05:36.800 to come hang out for a while, so shout -out them. 00:05:36.980 --> 00:05:38.800 Now that I've made so many jokes at New York's 00:05:38.800 --> 00:05:40.420 expense, I should actually shout -out Burrows 00:05:40.420 --> 00:05:43.000 of the Dead in New York. If you're ever down 00:05:43.000 --> 00:05:44.540 there and you want to do a ghost tour, do Burrows 00:05:44.540 --> 00:05:47.000 of the Dead. Is that kind of like the same vibe 00:05:47.000 --> 00:05:49.740 almost? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Andrea James 00:05:49.740 --> 00:05:52.759 runs it. She's a champion of forgotten history, 00:05:53.000 --> 00:05:55.680 a hell of a researcher, great person too. Hell 00:05:55.680 --> 00:05:57.699 yeah. Just good stuff all around. Yeah, so if 00:05:57.699 --> 00:05:59.100 you're in Philly or New York, check out both 00:05:59.100 --> 00:06:01.579 of these. All right, so you ready to dive into 00:06:01.579 --> 00:06:05.839 this week's topic? I am. Okay, so. I'm sure you 00:06:05.839 --> 00:06:07.560 know this. There are a lot of strange creatures 00:06:07.560 --> 00:06:10.439 in American folklore. Some of them inspire fear, 00:06:10.600 --> 00:06:12.920 like horrible monsters lurking at the edge of 00:06:12.920 --> 00:06:15.660 town, predators that stalk the woods, or winged 00:06:15.660 --> 00:06:17.860 demons that swoop down upon you in the dead of 00:06:17.860 --> 00:06:20.740 night. Others, they inspire wonder. They're like 00:06:20.740 --> 00:06:23.500 majestic, otherworldly beings that blur the line 00:06:23.500 --> 00:06:26.879 between myth and mystical. But then, there are 00:06:26.879 --> 00:06:28.939 some creatures that don't inspire awe or terror. 00:06:29.370 --> 00:06:32.209 They inspire a more empathetic feeling towards 00:06:32.209 --> 00:06:34.949 the creature. A creature that is less nightmare 00:06:34.949 --> 00:06:37.290 fuel and more the punchline to like a really 00:06:37.290 --> 00:06:42.410 dark cosmic joke. Oh, J .D. Vance. When you get 00:06:42.410 --> 00:06:45.689 a second, Google J .D. Vance mural Philadelphia. 00:06:46.310 --> 00:06:49.069 It's pretty great. But while you're doing that, 00:06:49.189 --> 00:06:52.689 I want you to imagine a beast so pitiful, so 00:06:52.689 --> 00:06:55.709 overwhelmed by its own appearance that it sends... 00:06:56.079 --> 00:06:58.480 that it spends every waking moment, not roaring 00:06:58.480 --> 00:07:00.660 or hunting or lurking in the shadows, but just 00:07:00.660 --> 00:07:03.800 crying about how ugly it is. And if you ever 00:07:03.800 --> 00:07:06.300 happen to corner one of these creatures, it won't 00:07:06.300 --> 00:07:08.699 attack. It wouldn't even run. It would just cry 00:07:08.699 --> 00:07:11.420 harder until it literally dissolved into a puddle 00:07:11.420 --> 00:07:13.060 of tears right in front of you. We're doing a 00:07:13.060 --> 00:07:18.819 show on Zach Bagans? Dude, that's awesome. I 00:07:18.819 --> 00:07:21.379 can't wait. I'm excited. Close. Today we're going 00:07:21.379 --> 00:07:23.470 to be talking about Pennsylvania's own... The 00:07:23.470 --> 00:07:25.529 Squonk. Are you familiar with The Squonk at all? 00:07:25.649 --> 00:07:27.970 I am familiar with The Legend of The Squonk. 00:07:28.050 --> 00:07:30.949 Okay. Not intimately. I'm not as up on this stuff 00:07:30.949 --> 00:07:33.410 as my esteemed co -host Paul on The Ghost Rehearsed, 00:07:33.490 --> 00:07:36.250 but I am familiar with it. Look at me. Look, 00:07:36.370 --> 00:07:37.810 if there's anyone who's going to be aware of 00:07:37.810 --> 00:07:41.930 a sad, misshapen creature who is appalled by 00:07:41.930 --> 00:07:44.569 the way it looks, it's going to be me. Professional 00:07:44.569 --> 00:07:47.769 podcaster. Professional podcaster. Keep that 00:07:47.769 --> 00:07:49.490 in mind. So this one might hit a little closer 00:07:49.490 --> 00:07:51.230 to home than some of the other stories I could 00:07:51.230 --> 00:07:52.629 have chosen to tell today is what you're getting 00:07:52.629 --> 00:07:55.509 at. Maybe a little. If you hear me crying, just 00:07:55.509 --> 00:07:58.589 push through. Gosh, all right. Now, we did cover 00:07:58.589 --> 00:08:01.149 the squonk very briefly all the way back in our 00:08:01.149 --> 00:08:03.589 Fearsome Creatures episode from 2023, but I feel 00:08:03.589 --> 00:08:05.410 like we didn't really do him justice, and now 00:08:05.410 --> 00:08:08.569 I kind of feel bad about it. So here we are. 00:08:08.629 --> 00:08:10.290 We're going to give him the full episode treatment. 00:08:10.629 --> 00:08:13.790 Spotlight is completely on him. So for those 00:08:13.790 --> 00:08:16.629 of you listening who may be wondering, what exactly 00:08:16.629 --> 00:08:19.490 is a squonk? The squonk is usually described 00:08:19.490 --> 00:08:22.829 as a small, blubbery, pig -like animal with sagging, 00:08:22.829 --> 00:08:25.370 ill -fitting skin. Think like Vincent D 'Onofrio 00:08:25.370 --> 00:08:27.250 in Men in Black when he's wearing the Edgar suit. 00:08:27.370 --> 00:08:31.170 It's kind of like that loose fitting and just 00:08:31.170 --> 00:08:35.190 riddled with warts and moles. It has just the 00:08:35.190 --> 00:08:38.470 saddest drooping eyes, a bulbous nose, and it 00:08:38.470 --> 00:08:40.330 is well aware of the fact that it looks like 00:08:40.330 --> 00:08:42.669 a depressed, hairless pug covered in poison ivy, 00:08:42.669 --> 00:08:46.549 making it incredibly shy. You won't just see 00:08:46.549 --> 00:08:48.929 these things just kind of hanging out during 00:08:48.929 --> 00:08:50.929 the daytime. I assume it's because it doesn't 00:08:50.929 --> 00:08:52.929 want to subject any other living thing to its 00:08:52.929 --> 00:08:55.889 fucking grotesqueness. You got a question? You 00:08:55.889 --> 00:08:58.789 good? Dave, not to interrupt, I was going to 00:08:58.789 --> 00:08:59.950 say, I think you might have mixed up your notes. 00:09:00.730 --> 00:09:01.990 You're looking at the paperwork for the Lindsey 00:09:01.990 --> 00:09:09.789 Graham episode. Oh, fuck, you're right. God damn 00:09:09.789 --> 00:09:11.070 it. Hold on, let me just switch over real quick. 00:09:11.269 --> 00:09:16.049 God damn it. There's a part about the moles in 00:09:16.049 --> 00:09:17.809 his butt that was like, this is all a little... 00:09:17.809 --> 00:09:23.870 But like I said, the squonk is a very shy creature, 00:09:24.029 --> 00:09:28.889 which makes it nocturnal. But it also avoids 00:09:28.889 --> 00:09:32.480 moonlight at all costs. nocturnal because it's 00:09:32.480 --> 00:09:34.799 like a vampire there's no vampire rules or anything 00:09:34.799 --> 00:09:36.340 it's because it doesn't want to catch its own 00:09:36.340 --> 00:09:38.600 reflection in a pond or a puddle or anything 00:09:38.600 --> 00:09:41.720 uh and if it's if it's an especially bright night 00:09:41.720 --> 00:09:44.259 it'll just sit under like a hemlock tree and 00:09:44.259 --> 00:09:46.759 then gently sob until morning when it just goes 00:09:46.759 --> 00:09:51.919 back to its depression nap i guess it's me leaving 00:09:51.919 --> 00:09:56.080 the club every night in my 20s but here's that 00:09:56.080 --> 00:09:58.159 that's really all there is to know about the 00:09:58.159 --> 00:10:00.879 squonk it's ugly it's so ugly that it spends 00:10:00.879 --> 00:10:03.259 every waking moment crying about it not in like 00:10:03.259 --> 00:10:05.539 an angry way not in a scary way but in the same 00:10:05.539 --> 00:10:07.480 way we all have at one point or another when 00:10:07.480 --> 00:10:10.100 we weren't feeling particularly happy with our 00:10:10.100 --> 00:10:12.740 own appearance at one point or another making 00:10:12.740 --> 00:10:19.899 it super relatable but which i which yeah which 00:10:19.899 --> 00:10:22.289 i think is why so many people like love this 00:10:22.289 --> 00:10:24.070 little guy you can like empathize with it like 00:10:24.070 --> 00:10:26.009 we've all felt like a squonk at one point another 00:10:26.009 --> 00:10:29.309 making him one of if not the most relatable cryptid 00:10:29.309 --> 00:10:32.289 in american folklore uh but just being ugly and 00:10:32.289 --> 00:10:35.730 sad isn't really that remarkable in terms of 00:10:35.730 --> 00:10:38.389 being like a fantastical beast uh what really 00:10:38.389 --> 00:10:42.370 sets them like apart is it's one and only defense 00:10:42.370 --> 00:10:45.350 mechanism so loggers claim that you could track 00:10:45.350 --> 00:10:47.590 the creature through the forest by following 00:10:47.590 --> 00:10:50.500 the The tear -soaked trail that it leaves in 00:10:50.500 --> 00:10:52.580 its wake. And if you actually catch up to it 00:10:52.580 --> 00:10:55.159 and attempt to trap or capture it, it won't run 00:10:55.159 --> 00:10:58.500 or fight back. Instead, it just completely melts 00:10:58.500 --> 00:11:00.700 down and literally dissolves into a puddle of 00:11:00.700 --> 00:11:04.519 tears. Some hunters, like J .P. Wentling, who 00:11:04.519 --> 00:11:06.899 supposedly lured one into a sack somehow. I don't 00:11:06.899 --> 00:11:09.460 really know how. I think he just kind of said 00:11:09.460 --> 00:11:13.759 he did. They say that after that happened, that 00:11:13.759 --> 00:11:15.620 when they return and look inside, they find nothing 00:11:15.620 --> 00:11:17.919 but... salty water and a few bubbles left behind 00:11:17.919 --> 00:11:20.080 and that's really all there is to know about 00:11:20.080 --> 00:11:21.820 the squonk the lore behind the squonk is kind 00:11:21.820 --> 00:11:24.240 of like the story of annabelle it's not so much 00:11:24.240 --> 00:11:26.860 the the the initial story like the lore it's 00:11:26.860 --> 00:11:29.879 more the lore built around it i guess and we'll 00:11:29.879 --> 00:11:31.960 get into all that but how are we feeling so far 00:11:31.960 --> 00:11:34.940 about the squonk i'm feeling like i don't understand 00:11:34.940 --> 00:11:37.740 why people are trying to kidnap this thing because 00:11:37.740 --> 00:11:40.419 i just can't imagine that a short fat homely 00:11:40.419 --> 00:11:42.799 little bugger who cries all the time is going 00:11:42.799 --> 00:11:45.240 to be much fun or much good eating. Like, I don't 00:11:45.240 --> 00:11:47.159 know if it's crying that much, you have to be 00:11:47.159 --> 00:11:49.820 a psychopath to want to eat it. I mean, well, 00:11:49.899 --> 00:11:52.340 we're going to get into those reasons why. So 00:11:52.340 --> 00:11:54.980 you just hold your horses. We will. Oh, they 00:11:54.980 --> 00:12:01.659 fuck it. I got you. No, but I mean, I'm sure 00:12:01.659 --> 00:12:07.139 you wink. Hold on. So, but yeah, but like I said, 00:12:07.159 --> 00:12:08.879 so that's all there is to know. But the history. 00:12:09.740 --> 00:12:12.120 lore of how the squonk came to be, that's really 00:12:12.120 --> 00:12:14.559 where the real story is, I feel like. And it's 00:12:14.559 --> 00:12:16.639 actually kind of pretty fun. So you want to learn 00:12:16.639 --> 00:12:18.460 about how we were blessed to live on the same 00:12:18.460 --> 00:12:22.240 timeline at the same time as the squonk? Wild 00:12:22.240 --> 00:12:24.700 me with the majesty of history, dude. All right. 00:12:24.700 --> 00:12:27.019 So the legend of the squonk wasn't born the same 00:12:27.019 --> 00:12:29.240 way like other folkloric beasts tend to come 00:12:29.240 --> 00:12:31.779 about. There weren't any like supposed sightings 00:12:31.779 --> 00:12:33.840 in the woods or like mysterious footprints that 00:12:33.840 --> 00:12:36.240 someone found. The legend and lore surrounding 00:12:36.240 --> 00:12:38.299 the squonk came straight out of the lumber camps 00:12:38.299 --> 00:12:41.440 of the early 1900s. I'm sure I don't have to 00:12:41.440 --> 00:12:44.600 say this, but being a lumberjack is pretty shitty 00:12:44.600 --> 00:12:47.519 work. It's tough, it's dangerous, the days were 00:12:47.519 --> 00:12:50.320 long and grueling. So at night, to pass the time, 00:12:50.480 --> 00:12:52.620 back at camp, around the fire, having dinner, 00:12:52.799 --> 00:12:55.299 the loggers would spin these ridiculous yarns 00:12:55.299 --> 00:12:57.200 about bizarre creatures. And these quote -unquote 00:12:57.200 --> 00:12:59.299 fearsome critters, as they would come to be called, 00:12:59.460 --> 00:13:01.879 were just tall tales made up to either entertain, 00:13:02.259 --> 00:13:06.139 scare the greenhorns, Kind of break up the monotony 00:13:06.139 --> 00:13:08.139 of camp life. Boy, Chet, you know what I wish 00:13:08.139 --> 00:13:10.480 I had right now? I wish I had a little teddy 00:13:10.480 --> 00:13:13.759 bear that was sad that I could fuck. It probably 00:13:13.759 --> 00:13:17.720 got very lonely. Yes, you are right. And thanks 00:13:17.720 --> 00:13:21.379 to William T. Cox, a forestry official and amateur 00:13:21.379 --> 00:13:23.759 folklorist, he was able to preserve these tales 00:13:23.759 --> 00:13:26.639 before they disappeared altogether in his 1910 00:13:26.639 --> 00:13:29.159 book, Fearsome Creatures of the Lumberwoods, 00:13:29.159 --> 00:13:30.940 which is where the squonk made its official print 00:13:30.940 --> 00:13:33.830 debut. Like, this book rules, and Cox did, like, 00:13:33.929 --> 00:13:37.789 a fantastic job of not only, like, being able 00:13:37.789 --> 00:13:39.649 to preserve these stories, but having, like, 00:13:39.809 --> 00:13:42.409 a sense of humor about it. Like, he did it with, 00:13:42.429 --> 00:13:45.389 like, a mock seriousness, giving each of the 00:13:45.389 --> 00:13:48.350 critters an official, like, Latin -sounding name. 00:13:48.470 --> 00:13:51.110 Like, he did the whole thing. Like, the squonks 00:13:51.110 --> 00:13:54.750 is lacrimocorpus dissolvans, which literally 00:13:54.750 --> 00:13:58.159 translates to tear body dissolving. So right 00:13:58.159 --> 00:14:01.799 away, the joke is built in, and this was never 00:14:01.799 --> 00:14:05.460 meant to be taken as a real zoological thing 00:14:05.460 --> 00:14:08.940 or even a cryptozoology thing. He was just having 00:14:08.940 --> 00:14:11.179 fun with it, and I respect the hell out of him 00:14:11.179 --> 00:14:15.240 for it. But anyways, according to Cox's book, 00:14:15.840 --> 00:14:18.340 the squonk was limited just to the regions of 00:14:18.340 --> 00:14:21.100 PA's hemlock forests, and he even credited the 00:14:21.100 --> 00:14:23.600 story to a local hunter, the J .P. Wentling that 00:14:23.600 --> 00:14:25.970 I mentioned earlier. The one that supposedly 00:14:25.970 --> 00:14:28.929 cornered it and captured it and just ended up 00:14:28.929 --> 00:14:31.789 with a boiling soup of tears and snot. But the 00:14:31.789 --> 00:14:33.950 larger context of the squonk and lumberjack folklore 00:14:33.950 --> 00:14:37.129 is the same as any other, like the hide -behind 00:14:37.129 --> 00:14:41.379 or the hoop snake. It was created as... It was 00:14:41.379 --> 00:14:44.679 basically a hazing tradition invented to fuck 00:14:44.679 --> 00:14:47.740 with new loggers and make fun of the more gullible 00:14:47.740 --> 00:14:49.740 members of the crew. They would tell the greenhorns 00:14:49.740 --> 00:14:52.320 about the squonk and then try and... Sending 00:14:52.320 --> 00:14:54.320 someone off to find a squonk in the woods was 00:14:54.320 --> 00:14:57.279 basically a rite of passage for many of the uninitiated 00:14:57.279 --> 00:15:00.210 who joined the crews. It was like the lumberjack 00:15:00.210 --> 00:15:01.850 equivalent of like a snipe hunt pretty much, 00:15:01.870 --> 00:15:03.250 if you're familiar with the snipe or anything 00:15:03.250 --> 00:15:05.490 like that. Yeah, when I was a kid in shop class, 00:15:05.610 --> 00:15:07.090 they used to send you to find headlight fluid 00:15:07.090 --> 00:15:10.370 or a right -handed skyhook. Yeah, blinker fluid, 00:15:10.549 --> 00:15:12.269 that kind of shit. Yeah, it's basically, it's 00:15:12.269 --> 00:15:14.850 the exact, it's anyone who was... The younger, 00:15:14.970 --> 00:15:17.370 uninitiated, more gullible, they would use stories 00:15:17.370 --> 00:15:20.330 like these to just basically fuck with them or 00:15:20.330 --> 00:15:22.110 just to entertain them. More than likely, it 00:15:22.110 --> 00:15:23.769 was to fuck with them. And unlike some of the 00:15:23.769 --> 00:15:25.789 more menacing and dangerous fearsome critters, 00:15:25.970 --> 00:15:27.809 The Squonk stood out because it wasn't menacing 00:15:27.809 --> 00:15:31.429 or dangerous at all. It was sad, hopeless, pathetic, 00:15:31.769 --> 00:15:35.049 more of a joke than a threat, which is sad because 00:15:35.049 --> 00:15:37.529 he's just a little guy and I love him, but it's 00:15:37.529 --> 00:15:39.889 also the reason why it stuck around more so than 00:15:39.889 --> 00:15:42.289 like... The Whirling Wimpus, which is just a 00:15:42.289 --> 00:15:44.889 big gorilla that spun like the Tasmanian devil 00:15:44.889 --> 00:15:46.529 and slapped you in the face until it fucking 00:15:46.529 --> 00:15:51.769 broke off. I think we should bring back the Whirling 00:15:51.769 --> 00:15:54.629 Wimpus, and I think there's a couple addresses 00:15:54.629 --> 00:15:57.830 in Washington I'd like to go to. The Whirling 00:15:57.830 --> 00:16:00.250 Wimpus is actually pretty gnarly. It's not ideal, 00:16:00.490 --> 00:16:05.750 but it is pretty funny. But yeah, the story of 00:16:05.750 --> 00:16:07.730 the squonk resonated with people in the way that 00:16:07.730 --> 00:16:10.710 many of the other critters didn't. the tragic 00:16:10.710 --> 00:16:13.309 nature of a creature that's sad ugly lonely it 00:16:13.309 --> 00:16:15.649 turned it into kind of like a folkloric metaphor 00:16:15.649 --> 00:16:19.470 for shame insecurity and even depression and 00:16:19.470 --> 00:16:22.110 it was like that odd blend of humor and melancholy 00:16:22.110 --> 00:16:24.769 that allowed the squonk to stay relevant after 00:16:24.769 --> 00:16:28.269 all this time uh and like i said most of these 00:16:28.269 --> 00:16:30.230 fearsome critters have faded into obscurity or 00:16:30.230 --> 00:16:33.009 close to it unless they're like really into lumberjack 00:16:33.009 --> 00:16:35.629 folklore you're not really going to know about 00:16:35.629 --> 00:16:37.490 any of them but you're going to be familiar with 00:16:37.490 --> 00:16:40.059 the squonk like the the squonk has endured the 00:16:40.059 --> 00:16:42.980 test of time. Like for example, writer Jorge 00:16:42.980 --> 00:16:46.740 Luis Borges, he included the squonk in his 1967 00:16:46.740 --> 00:16:49.620 book, The Book of Imaginary Beings, putting it 00:16:49.620 --> 00:16:53.620 right alongside like unicorns and dragons. Chemists 00:16:53.620 --> 00:16:56.340 adopted the term chemical squonks to describe 00:16:56.340 --> 00:16:58.940 unstable compounds that fall apart when isolated. 00:16:59.679 --> 00:17:01.759 And even within the cryptic community, like the 00:17:01.759 --> 00:17:04.039 squonk is universally loved and adored and is 00:17:04.039 --> 00:17:06.500 a creature we all kind of collectively decided 00:17:06.500 --> 00:17:08.640 needs to be protected at all costs. Like I would 00:17:08.640 --> 00:17:14.410 die. For the squonk. I love this guy so much. 00:17:14.910 --> 00:17:16.829 And also, I got to say, if you believe in the 00:17:16.829 --> 00:17:18.430 whole Tulpa thing, that a bunch of people believing 00:17:18.430 --> 00:17:21.420 in something can create it. the rise in popularity 00:17:21.420 --> 00:17:23.380 of the squonk does correlate with the rise in 00:17:23.380 --> 00:17:25.759 popularity of podcasters. That is true. So it 00:17:25.759 --> 00:17:27.359 could be that we just thought a bunch of these 00:17:27.359 --> 00:17:29.519 sad, neck -bearded motherfuckers into existence 00:17:29.519 --> 00:17:33.059 by mistake. I feel like, I mean, the concept 00:17:33.059 --> 00:17:35.099 of a topa in this case, I would feel so bad if 00:17:35.099 --> 00:17:37.200 we accidentally willed something into existence 00:17:37.200 --> 00:17:40.000 that literally does not want to exist. Like, 00:17:40.000 --> 00:17:42.500 I feel like that's such a shitty thing to do. 00:17:42.500 --> 00:17:47.000 Joe Rogan? That's fair. He just looks at himself 00:17:47.000 --> 00:17:48.680 in the mirror every morning and goes, what am 00:17:48.680 --> 00:17:51.579 I? Why was I made to feel pain? Oh, you know, 00:17:51.579 --> 00:17:54.460 he cries almost consistently. Like once he's 00:17:54.460 --> 00:17:58.220 a 100 % for sure. I'm telling you, we told Joe 00:17:58.220 --> 00:18:02.240 Rogan's a squonk. He just he got waxed and he's 00:18:02.240 --> 00:18:03.759 like, I don't belong here. He's the ultimate 00:18:03.759 --> 00:18:06.339 imposter syndrome. It's sad because he used to 00:18:06.339 --> 00:18:09.119 be. I used to like Joe Rogan, too. Like he used 00:18:09.119 --> 00:18:12.900 to. I like news radio. News radio was fun. News 00:18:12.900 --> 00:18:15.279 radio was great. It was a phenomenal show. But 00:18:15.279 --> 00:18:18.730 the squonk love. It doesn't stop there. For a 00:18:18.730 --> 00:18:20.670 creature that started pretty much as a prank 00:18:20.670 --> 00:18:23.190 in the PA logging camps, this motherfucker has 00:18:23.190 --> 00:18:25.750 carved a surprisingly big spot for itself out 00:18:25.750 --> 00:18:29.369 in pop culture. Steely Dan slipped in a line 00:18:29.369 --> 00:18:33.390 about squonk tears in their 1974 song Any Major 00:18:33.390 --> 00:18:35.430 Dude Will Tell You, using it as a metaphor for 00:18:35.430 --> 00:18:37.329 sorrow. And then just two years later, Genesis 00:18:37.329 --> 00:18:40.130 devoted an entire song to the squonk on their 00:18:40.130 --> 00:18:43.880 album called A Trick of the Tail. retelling the 00:18:43.880 --> 00:18:46.480 tale of this sappy -ass beast as an allegory 00:18:46.480 --> 00:18:49.339 for insecurity and isolation, with the band members 00:18:49.339 --> 00:18:51.259 stating in interviews that members of the band 00:18:51.259 --> 00:18:53.819 saw something of themselves in the squonk, a 00:18:53.819 --> 00:18:56.220 creature mocked for its ugliness but still deserving 00:18:56.220 --> 00:18:58.859 of sympathy. And then from there, the squonk's 00:18:58.859 --> 00:19:01.819 reputation spread beyond obscure folklore books 00:19:01.819 --> 00:19:04.380 and 70s rock songs. More recently, the squonk 00:19:04.380 --> 00:19:05.980 has been featured in everything from literature 00:19:05.980 --> 00:19:09.400 to gaming. It was featured in the Dungeon Crawler 00:19:09.400 --> 00:19:14.720 Carl book series. And he even got his own trading 00:19:14.720 --> 00:19:16.900 card in the Cryptid theme game, Cryptid Camp. 00:19:17.059 --> 00:19:19.900 But nowhere is the Squonk's modern revival more 00:19:19.900 --> 00:19:22.539 visible than right here in its home state. In 00:19:22.539 --> 00:19:26.480 2023, right in the heart of Johnstown, Lisa Russell 00:19:26.480 --> 00:19:29.200 and Joe Fogle launched Squonkapalooza, an annual 00:19:29.200 --> 00:19:31.900 summer festival that has quickly grown into a 00:19:31.900 --> 00:19:34.160 community staple, drawing in crowds from all 00:19:34.160 --> 00:19:36.579 over the country for live music. Cryptid themed 00:19:36.579 --> 00:19:39.680 art. And they even have a squonk compliment contest 00:19:39.680 --> 00:19:43.400 where festival goers try to cheer up the squonk. 00:19:44.400 --> 00:19:46.400 They actually just wrapped up this year's event 00:19:46.400 --> 00:19:49.519 earlier this month. And from what I gathered, 00:19:49.599 --> 00:19:51.140 it was amazing. And I wish I could have gone. 00:19:51.240 --> 00:19:52.880 I was actually a sponsor for the very first one. 00:19:53.559 --> 00:19:55.460 It was really cool. I went down there. It was 00:19:55.460 --> 00:19:58.119 a ton of fun. I met a bunch of really cool people. 00:19:59.190 --> 00:20:02.269 But it just proves that the Squonk has gone from 00:20:02.269 --> 00:20:05.710 lumberjack lore to a regional symbol of resilience, 00:20:05.970 --> 00:20:09.210 humor, and a shared humanity. Today, the story 00:20:09.210 --> 00:20:11.710 resonates because it blends absurdity with relatability. 00:20:12.069 --> 00:20:15.309 He's become a mascot for awkwardness, insecurity, 00:20:15.630 --> 00:20:18.529 and survival through laughter. The Squonk has 00:20:18.529 --> 00:20:20.750 come a long way from where he started and has 00:20:20.750 --> 00:20:22.890 been reimagined as something more than just a 00:20:22.890 --> 00:20:24.809 campfire prank and is now something more aligned 00:20:24.809 --> 00:20:27.650 with kind of like the pumpkin alternative scene. 00:20:28.650 --> 00:20:30.769 an icon or a symbol for anyone who's ever felt 00:20:30.769 --> 00:20:34.789 like an insider, an outsider, or, you know, whatever 00:20:34.789 --> 00:20:37.630 you want to call it. But anyways, I love the 00:20:37.630 --> 00:20:40.509 guy and, uh, yeah, but that's it. This is a little 00:20:40.509 --> 00:20:42.150 bit of a shorter episode, but that is, that is 00:20:42.150 --> 00:20:44.289 the story of the squonk. How are we feeling today? 00:20:44.569 --> 00:20:46.789 I love it. I really do. I think, I think the 00:20:46.789 --> 00:20:48.470 squonk is a ton of fun. And the nice thing about 00:20:48.470 --> 00:20:51.089 the squonk as someone who tells ghost stories, 00:20:51.190 --> 00:20:53.450 you know, basically as my job at this point, 00:20:53.529 --> 00:20:56.470 um, I like that everyone understands where the 00:20:56.470 --> 00:20:58.660 boundaries of reality are with the squonk. Yeah. 00:20:58.740 --> 00:21:02.519 Because everything else, someone who's hasn't 00:21:02.519 --> 00:21:05.019 taken their lorazepam or whatever, starts to 00:21:05.019 --> 00:21:08.099 lose the boundaries of what is and isn't real. 00:21:08.240 --> 00:21:11.920 And they've got, you know, Slenderman was following 00:21:11.920 --> 00:21:14.559 me into the bathroom or there's a rake hiding 00:21:14.559 --> 00:21:17.539 underneath my car, like sideshow Bob. Yeah. And 00:21:17.539 --> 00:21:20.619 it just, it becomes a bummer because like creepypasta 00:21:20.619 --> 00:21:22.720 is a ton of fun. You know, my other show, Fear 00:21:22.720 --> 00:21:24.599 Daily, that's creepypasta. That's basically what 00:21:24.599 --> 00:21:26.829 it is. Like we write our own creepypasta. But 00:21:26.829 --> 00:21:28.789 it really gets to be a bummer when people write 00:21:28.789 --> 00:21:30.470 to you and they start telling you a story that 00:21:30.470 --> 00:21:33.809 sounds like it was written by an AI that was 00:21:33.809 --> 00:21:36.509 sort of half paying attention, kind of jerking 00:21:36.509 --> 00:21:39.829 off with one hand while it wrote it. But no one 00:21:39.829 --> 00:21:41.369 does that with the squonks. Like, no, the squonk's 00:21:41.369 --> 00:21:44.029 not real and that's cool. No, I feel like that's 00:21:44.029 --> 00:21:46.890 the best part. Like I said, William T. Cox did 00:21:46.890 --> 00:21:52.170 a really good job when he wrote Fearsome Creatures 00:21:52.170 --> 00:21:55.700 of the Lumberwoods because it's... written with 00:21:55.700 --> 00:21:57.519 like you can tell it's kind of like a satirical 00:21:57.519 --> 00:21:59.819 sincerity if that makes sense like he writes 00:21:59.819 --> 00:22:02.220 it like it's an actual like like an actual textbook 00:22:02.220 --> 00:22:05.259 almost like it's you got fucking like stats you 00:22:05.259 --> 00:22:08.480 got the the latin names for everything and it 00:22:08.480 --> 00:22:12.039 goes into like the biology and all that stuff 00:22:12.039 --> 00:22:13.839 of the creatures what they do where they are 00:22:13.839 --> 00:22:17.859 how they behave and move but it was just it's 00:22:17.859 --> 00:22:22.759 just a fun way to like keep those lumberjack 00:22:22.759 --> 00:22:25.259 traditions alive and i really appreciate for 00:22:25.259 --> 00:22:29.319 1910s like it is like almost like a 1910s version 00:22:29.319 --> 00:22:32.380 of a creepypasta like you know there was some 00:22:32.380 --> 00:22:34.259 like greenhorn lumberjack reading that and being 00:22:34.259 --> 00:22:35.980 like what the fuck am i gonna have to deal with 00:22:35.980 --> 00:22:40.730 are you kidding me right now And as someone who 00:22:40.730 --> 00:22:42.710 grew up in a lumber town, I grew up in a mill 00:22:42.710 --> 00:22:45.269 town up in the mountains in rural Canada. I got 00:22:45.269 --> 00:22:47.589 to say, as far as lumberjack traditions go, I 00:22:47.589 --> 00:22:50.049 think carrying the squonk forward is way better 00:22:50.049 --> 00:22:51.849 than the other lumberjack stuff I remember, like 00:22:51.849 --> 00:22:55.990 hitting your kids. That is true. It is definitely 00:22:55.990 --> 00:23:01.309 a less traumatic tradition to keep alive. Driving 00:23:01.309 --> 00:23:06.320 drunk, hitting your kids, you know. undercooking 00:23:06.320 --> 00:23:08.680 meat at barbecues. These might be some core, 00:23:08.680 --> 00:23:11.640 some core memories I'm sharing here, but yeah, 00:23:11.759 --> 00:23:13.359 the squonk I think is a way better approach. 00:23:15.019 --> 00:23:18.180 Hell yeah, man. Well, yeah, that's, I mean, that's 00:23:18.180 --> 00:23:20.019 all I got. The squonk isn't like, there isn't 00:23:20.019 --> 00:23:22.180 like, again, there isn't a lot to it. It's not 00:23:22.180 --> 00:23:24.920 like, cause it's not real and no, no one pretends 00:23:24.920 --> 00:23:27.319 it's real. Like no one ever, like there's no 00:23:27.319 --> 00:23:30.039 stories. There's no people going in the woods. 00:23:30.059 --> 00:23:31.980 Like I saw a squonk. Like everyone knows that 00:23:31.980 --> 00:23:34.660 it's just kind of like an allegory for loneliness. 00:23:36.759 --> 00:23:40.880 I respect that. Yeah, it's great. It's one of 00:23:40.880 --> 00:23:44.039 my favorites. So relatable. What's really interesting 00:23:44.039 --> 00:23:46.400 about the squam too, I think, is that it comes, 00:23:46.440 --> 00:23:48.500 like coming from Pennsylvania, like you guys 00:23:48.500 --> 00:23:50.799 have such a rich paranormal history. Like Pennsylvania 00:23:50.799 --> 00:23:54.420 is probably one of the most storied states in 00:23:54.420 --> 00:23:57.400 the union in terms of weird shit happening. And 00:23:57.400 --> 00:23:59.579 so I think it's so fascinating that one of the 00:23:59.579 --> 00:24:01.579 most famous stories from that state is something 00:24:01.579 --> 00:24:03.240 that's not real at all. And everyone's like, 00:24:03.319 --> 00:24:06.109 no, it's really not real at all. Yeah. It's a, 00:24:06.230 --> 00:24:08.589 cause usually people are just climbing over themselves 00:24:08.589 --> 00:24:11.490 to, to pimp out the Jersey devil or, or whoever, 00:24:11.589 --> 00:24:14.990 but Pennsylvania is, it's got a big old, big 00:24:14.990 --> 00:24:16.950 old salami swinging down. It's between its knees 00:24:16.950 --> 00:24:18.609 and it's like, I don't got to show off. I know 00:24:18.609 --> 00:24:23.150 what I am. Yeah. That's a, that's, it's kind 00:24:23.150 --> 00:24:24.990 of humbling it away. I feel like for everyone 00:24:24.990 --> 00:24:27.190 else, it's, you know, you don't got to make up, 00:24:27.190 --> 00:24:30.240 I mean, you can make up stories, but like. Why 00:24:30.240 --> 00:24:32.180 does yours have to kill cats and murder people? 00:24:32.759 --> 00:24:34.920 Can't it just be sad and cute? It doesn't have 00:24:34.920 --> 00:24:38.579 to be aggressive or angry. Just be a dude. It's 00:24:38.579 --> 00:24:42.480 all it needs. Yeah, Squonk doesn't go to the 00:24:42.480 --> 00:24:44.700 gym. Squonk's just sitting there quietly on Tumblr 00:24:44.700 --> 00:24:50.700 writing fan fiction and keeping to himself. Yeah, 00:24:50.700 --> 00:24:52.420 you know he's probably thinking he's another 00:24:52.420 --> 00:24:55.519 Ken. He probably writes other Ken. Fanfic about 00:24:55.519 --> 00:24:57.000 being a dragon or something. Something cool. 00:24:57.259 --> 00:25:01.579 Something not Squonk. Yeah. Exactly. You know, 00:25:01.619 --> 00:25:04.920 Squonk saw Remember Me in theaters. That's why 00:25:04.920 --> 00:25:12.319 he's so sad. All right, man. Well, that's it. 00:25:12.420 --> 00:25:15.700 That's all I got. Normally, I would plug my stuff, 00:25:15.819 --> 00:25:17.839 but I'll give you the opportunity to plug whatever 00:25:17.839 --> 00:25:19.700 it is you want to plug. Say whatever it is you 00:25:19.700 --> 00:25:22.980 need to say, and then we'll say goodbye. All 00:25:22.980 --> 00:25:25.420 right. Yeah, no. It's been a ton of fun, man. 00:25:25.519 --> 00:25:29.720 If you like the various really upsetting jokes 00:25:29.720 --> 00:25:33.799 I've made on the show, or at least whatever Dave 00:25:33.799 --> 00:25:38.220 leaves in, you can find me over at The Ghost 00:25:38.220 --> 00:25:40.680 Story Guys, where everywhere fine podcasts live. 00:25:41.019 --> 00:25:44.039 I'm LargerTheTruth on Threads, Instagram, Blue 00:25:44.039 --> 00:25:46.539 Sky, and Letterboxd. And if you like horror fiction, 00:25:46.700 --> 00:25:48.839 you can find the show I co -write, Fear Daily, 00:25:49.059 --> 00:25:52.049 with Brandon Sheck -Snyder, everywhere. fine 00:25:52.049 --> 00:25:54.309 podcasts live. And that's a daily horror fiction 00:25:54.309 --> 00:25:56.690 podcast, two stories a day, five days a week. 00:25:57.549 --> 00:26:00.150 And, uh, it is, uh, it's a lot of fun. It's, 00:26:00.150 --> 00:26:01.970 it's all of a show. Brandon does a great job. 00:26:02.009 --> 00:26:03.990 Again, I only, I write about half of it, but, 00:26:04.069 --> 00:26:06.809 uh, he does, he does the rest and just knocks 00:26:06.809 --> 00:26:08.250 it out of the park. So if you like creepy pasta, 00:26:08.410 --> 00:26:10.890 fear deli is the place. Hell yeah. And I'll, 00:26:10.890 --> 00:26:14.119 I'll be sure to leave. Links in the episode description, 00:26:14.299 --> 00:26:17.319 all that stuff. And if you want to follow us 00:26:17.319 --> 00:26:19.160 on Instagram, it's at Cryptic Cocktail. Follow 00:26:19.160 --> 00:26:22.579 us on TikTok, Cryptic Cocktail Party. We got 00:26:22.579 --> 00:26:25.160 a Patreon. I don't remember the tiers. It's actually 00:26:25.160 --> 00:26:27.240 going to change up really soon because I'm bad 00:26:27.240 --> 00:26:28.960 at keeping up with it and I feel bad making people 00:26:28.960 --> 00:26:31.480 pay more for things that they get sparingly and 00:26:31.480 --> 00:26:34.079 that's pretty shitty of me and I don't want to 00:26:34.079 --> 00:26:37.339 seem like a fucking podcast grifter at this point. 00:26:37.420 --> 00:26:42.099 So keep an eye out for... For me updating that. 00:26:43.559 --> 00:26:47.279 It'll be cheaper. More accessible. But you know. 00:26:47.380 --> 00:26:49.819 As pretty much a one person producer. It's hard 00:26:49.819 --> 00:26:52.619 to do all this. And then do extra content. And 00:26:52.619 --> 00:26:55.279 then make sure it gets put up. It's aggressive. 00:26:56.460 --> 00:26:59.579 I feel you man. I'm forever trying to keep up 00:26:59.579 --> 00:27:02.720 with my shit. Because I do a show a week. And 00:27:02.720 --> 00:27:04.700 then I also try to do one piece of bonus content 00:27:04.700 --> 00:27:08.240 a week. Try. Keyword try. And you can ask my 00:27:08.240 --> 00:27:12.430 patrons how good I am at that. All right. With 00:27:12.430 --> 00:27:14.349 all that out of the way, normally Sarge says 00:27:14.349 --> 00:27:16.750 goodbye and I love you to the audience, but do 00:27:16.750 --> 00:27:18.109 you want to say goodbye and I love you to the 00:27:18.109 --> 00:27:20.369 audience? Goodbye, audience, and I love you.