You are now listening to Cryptid Cocktail Party
Welcome back, everyone, to another episode of
Cryptid Cocktail Party, a show where we have
a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive
into the unknown. I'm your host, Dave. Joined,
as always, by my wonderful co -host, Sarge. How's
it going, Sarge? Fucking great. Fucking hostile.
Hostile? Yeah, I saw Pantera last night. That'll
do. Yeah, but usually that's like a type of rage
you don't want, because it's usually associated.
No, no, that's mostly coke and steroids. with
their fan base. But I did see Amon Amarth, and
they did a phenomenal job. Hell yeah, dude. Nothing
like a good Viking metal band. Did they make
you do the rowing thing? No. No, we didn't do
any, because they were opening for Pantera, so
you couldn't have the true Amon Amarth experience.
Gotcha, gotcha. But I took my 10 -year -old,
because he's a huge fan. And how was it accurate?
Oh, God, it was so funny watching him. He's like
clapping along and he's like got the horns up.
He was into it, man. Fuck yeah, dude. Nothing
like corrupting the youth, man. I love it. That's
the plan. That's the plan. He would not wear
the shirt that I bought him, though. It's a shirt
that has a rainbow on it and it says Satan loves
me. He would not wear it. I was so disappointed.
Is it because of the Satan thing or because it
had a rainbow on it? I guess a 10 -year -old
boy. No, he doesn't give a shit about rainbows.
His sister and brother are queer, so he doesn't
care. And I did not say that in a derogatory
way. It's just how my accent makes it sound.
Yeah, the Boston accent betrays a lot of people
when they try to say nice things, I feel like.
Yeah. I mean, the good news is there's no hard
R's. I mean... He can't speak. God damn it. All
right. Sarge, we have an episode today, and it
got away from me. I got real angry writing this
script. I'm very excited. um but i mean i guess
we should we need to start out real quick um
so this past friday august 1st 2025 just you
know just to right away make the episode no longer
evergreen uh some pretty wild news came out in
the paranormal world do you know what i'm talking
about no no i live in a cave okay well for you
and for anyone listening who hasn't heard yet
uh part -time comedian and full -time fuckboy
slash jordan peterson guest matt rife who you
all may know as the crowd work guy on TikTok,
along with an equally annoying comedian slash
YouTuber named Elton Castie, have announced that
they have officially purchased the Warren family
home as well as the attached occult museum in
Monroe, Connecticut. What is it with that place
in Fuckboys? Wasn't fucking that dickhead from
Ghost Adventures involved in that for a while,
Zach Baggins? Kind of. He has his own occult
museum in Las Vegas. Yeah. So not only do these
two absolute goobers own the home and the museum,
the purchase also included the entire collection
of roughly 750 supposedly haunted objects once
owned and curated by Ed and Lorraine Warren.
This also means that now a TikTok comedian and
a YouTuber are now in possession of the infamous
Annabelle doll. You know, Annabelle. Yeah, Annabelle,
the demon -infested Raggedy Ann doll who's been
known to serve both cunt and curses. And what
was once called by the Warrens the most dangerous
artifact in their possession is now in the custody
of some of the most insufferable content creators
out there. So that's pretty awesome. Well, hopefully
Matt Rife will pull out the doll to aggressively
flirt with it and it will kill him. Now, to be
clear, And fair. Rife isn't technically the owner
of Annabelle and the artifacts. He's now the
legal caretaker for them for at least the next
five years, which was an arrangement made between
Rife and the Warren's daughter and her husband,
Judy and Tony Sparrow, which pretty much like
they're entrusting Rife and Cassidy to preserve
the legacy and not fuck around with it. which
hopefully they do, even though the Warren's legacy
is based on lies and grifting. It's still pretty
interesting, like a lot of their stuff. Reif
stated that their plans are pretty straightforward.
They want to reopen the museum, which has been
closed for the past six years due to zoning issues.
They also want to offer guided tours to the public.
The collection will remain intact with Annabelle
back on public display in her little glass prison.
but and this sounds like a fucking terrible idea
he also hinted that he wants to open the house
up to overnight stays and weekend visits which
means that regular ass people like not just professional
ghost hunters and youtube like paranormal researchers
uh they'll have their chance to fucking unleash
curses on on all of us so that's pretty cool
um yeah every syllable of this fucking story
is making me angry every little bit like watching
that smug smirking little fucking twink Play
around with all that bullshit. That hairless
fucking goon. Oh, God, I fucking hate that kid.
I don't know why I hate him. I can't figure it
out. I just want to punch him in the mouth. Yeah,
he's insufferable. I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. Yeah, he's the worst. He is the
absolute worst. Agreed. He's right up there with,
like... fucking joe rogan and burt kreischer
and all those other fucking hack dildos no i
don't so i don't know like matt rife's background
in the paranormal like like that's i mean what
i mean is i don't think he's like a paranormal
expert by any means uh and probably just that
he's like he saw the conjuring movies and was
like fucking sick dude I do think he has, like,
an understanding of what he just invested in,
though. Like, he called the collection, quote,
one of the most important pieces of paranormal
history in the world. And, well, that's a big
probably true claim. He's not wrong about one
thing, and that is that Annabelle definitely
has, like, a bit of a reputation. I figured that
before Annabelle became, like, the centerpiece
of some influencer's Halloween livestream or
ends up a new TikTok challenge, like, kiss Annabelle
on the lips and not get cursed. Just covered
in fucking Axe body spray. Yeah, I figured, why
don't we do another installment of our new series
within a series called Debunked, and we're going
to talk about Annabelle. Yes! We joke about her
enough that, fuck it, let's just do a whole episode
on her. So let's do it. Yeah. So a while back,
I did an episode about paranormal hoaxes that
featured briefly Ed and Lorraine Warren because
fuck them. So to really tell the story of Annabelle,
I'm going to be breaking this up into two parts.
The Warren's version and the what actually probably
happened version. Okay. Okay. So what do you
know about Annabelle? I know that I fucking hate
looking at that stupid goddamn doll. um i did
enjoy the conjuring movies i don't give a shit
what anyone says the third one was fucking stupid
but i did enjoy them uh but annabelle i i don't
really know much about it i think there was some
nurses involved i don't know you're yeah so the
the warren's version of the annabelle story reads
pretty much like the blueprint for every cliche
haunted doll movie that has ever come out Which
makes sense considering the Annabelle movie made
$257 million worldwide. People love this shit.
But anyway, so according to their accounts, it
all started in 1970, maybe 1971, when a young
nursing student named Donna received a large
Raggedy Ann doll from her mother for her birthday.
Donna brought the doll home to her apartment
that she shared with her roommate Angie. And
not long after that, they both started to notice...
That the doll started moving on its own. Nothing
crazy at first. Things like sitting in a new
position or being found in a different room than
where they left it. One time they found it kneeling
on a chair in the living room with its arms folded
on its lap, which for a cloth doll with no sort
of internal structure is pretty much impossible.
Right. That's weird. That's weird. Now, soon
after that, they started finding handwritten
notes on parchment paper that said shit like...
Help us or help Lou. Lou was a friend of Donna's
that would spend time at the apartment from time
to time. But to make this even weirder is that
the roommates claim that they didn't keep parchment
paper in the house. So spooky. Now the doll's
got parchment paper hidden. Yeah. Just for such
an occasion. It's like a little notepad. Yeah.
When you need it the most. Annabelle will provide.
Now, the two women understandably freaked out,
but not quite ready to burn the place down and
salt the earth so nothing else could grow there.
They brought in a psychic medium. She revealed
to them that the doll was inhabited by the spirit
of a seven -year -old girl named Annabelle Higgins,
who had died on the property where their apartment
building now stands and was, quote -unquote,
just looking for someone to love her. You know,
she just wanted to feel like... Yeah. So... Donna
and Angie being... Get a job, Annabelle. So Donna
and Angie being the decent human beings that
they are, they gave the spirit permission to
stay, which in hindsight, probably a mistake
because that's when everything went so far off
the rails, it almost seems unbelievable. It's
weird that the psychic didn't see that coming.
Yeah. The activity in the home repeatedly got
way more aggressive. Objects were moved and thrown.
Shit would go missing. They would find Annabelle
in physically impossible positions and in places
it would be impossible for her to be. There were
loud bangs and knocks at night, rustling and
scratching sounds coming from empty rooms, and
the constant feeling of being watched. Then one
night, Donna's friend Lou, he was attacked. He
claims that one night while staying at the apartment,
he woke up paralyzed. He said he saw the doll
at the foot of the bed and then it climbed its
way up onto Lou's chest and that the doll just
sat there for a moment and stared at him and
then slowly began to strangle him, which I feel
like being strangled by a Raggedy Ann doll. Like,
what would that do? That can't be anything, right?
Well, now I see why Matt Rife is so attracted
to this doll. It also has a very loose definition
of consent. Throwback to the time he was accused
of manhandling Zendaya. He's a real piece of
shit. So he said that, Lou, not Matt, he said
that he felt the pressure on his throat increase
until he was nearly unconscious. Then, just as
he passed out, he snapped awake with no doll
in sight. The next day, Lou and Angie were alone
in the apartment when they heard a commotion
coming from Donna's room. Lou went to check it
out and found the room was empty except for the
doll sprawled out on the floor. As he stepped
closer, he felt a sudden burning pain across
his chest, and when he pulled up his shirt, he
saw three distinct claw -like scratch marks.
Now that was finally the point where the roommates
were like, all right, enough of that. So they
contacted a priest by the name of Father Hagen,
who in turn brought in a higher -ranking clergyman
named Father Cook, who then he decided... I don't
know what's going on, called in Ed and Lorraine,
who at this time were the most active paranormal
investigators in the country, probably the world
at this point. It's like a weird episode of My
Two Dads. Now, the Warrens, as they did in every
fucking case they ever worked, quickly concluded
that this was no little girl ghost. No, no, no,
Sarge. This was something inhuman. In their words,
the entity had manipulated the medium into passing
on a false identity and that Donna and Angie,
and what Donna and Angie thought was a lonely
spirit just looking for love, was, in the Warrens'
opinion, a demonic force using deception to gain
trust and access to them. Got it. Yeah. No, I...
Yep. I believe that. Yeah? Yeah, it's a... Yeah.
No, I'm all in. Ed and Lorraine... They really
know how to figure it out. Oh, for sure. With
their Bible and their holy water and their weird
sexual energy. So Ed and Lorraine quickly had
the apartment blessed by Father Cook and decided
the doll was too powerful to be kept in the hands
of the uninitiated and took the doll with them.
But apparently Annabelle is a nervous traveler.
Doesn't like being in the car, it seems. Because
Ed claimed that on the drive home, the car's
brakes and steering repeatedly failed, forcing
him to stop and douse the doll in holy water
to get it to stop. I remember this scene from
the movie. Now, once home, Ed built a custom
wooden glass case for the doll along with a sign
that read, Warning, positively do not open, and
placed it among the other cursed artifacts in
their occult museum. But Sarge, do you think
that just some fucking balsa wood and some glass
panes are going to keep Annabelle from fucking
shit up? Hell no! Fucking God no. Not even a
little bit. Over the years, the Warrens... Heck
no. Over the years, the Warrens told story after
story about what happens when people mock or
disrespect the doll. Kind of like what we're
doing right now. Right now? Yeah. Most famous
of these stories is the one about a dude who
visited the museum with his girlfriend. And while
he was there, he was just being an absolute asshole
to this doll. He was pounding on the case, laughing
at her, daring it to scratch him. Now, I don't
know if it was just because the dude was a dick
or because he was fucking with Annabelle or both,
but... The Warrens were like, you got to get
out of here, man. So they kicked him and his
girlfriend out and on the motorcycle ride home
because, of course, that was his mode of transportation.
He crashed and died. Oh, his girlfriend survived,
though. So at least the demon possessing Annabelle
knows who to target, like left the innocence
alone. Another story involved a priest who came
to bless the museum and reportedly said to Annabelle,
quote, You're just a doll. You can't hurt anyone.
Which is a level of confidence for a priest that
just seems so undeserved. Like, yeah. Like, if
you think you're fucking with a demonic entity.
That was a mistake. Yeah, just calling it out.
Like, bro, I mean, I get you have the power of
God behind you, but I don't think it matters
in this case. I'm going to be honest, man. I
don't believe in any of this shit, but there's
no way in fucking hell you're going to catch
me talking shit about that doll. Just in case
to its face, like, you know, to its face. However,
what would be really funny is if somebody like
opened up the glass door and farted in there
and then close the door real fast. That'd be
pretty good. Well, he technically didn't hurt
Annabelle. You just, you know, that's true. And
as far as I know, as far as I know, he didn't
do that. He just talks shit, but. Anyways. Smells
like wine communion wafers. But anyways, his
brakes failed on his way home and he wound up
wrapped around a tree. He survived. He survived
and soon after called Lorraine to apologize,
which in my head, for some reason, I feel like
he called Lorraine and he's like, hey, can you
give the phone to Annabelle? And she just holds
it to the fucking case. He's like, look, Annabelle,
I am so sorry. So sorry. I just pictured the
long fucking curly phone cord wrapping around
the house down to the basement. She's just holding
the receiver at the doll. Now, you apologize
to her. And for those of you who are concerned,
the tree was over 18. You always got to bring
it back to molestation, man. Well, we are talking
about Matt Rife. Well, not anymore. We were.
Allegedly. Now we're moved on to Annabelle. So
in all of the Warren's decades of case files,
Annabelle has consistently remained their most
dangerous object, and they've always warned that
the doll doesn't act as your average run -of
-the -mill haunted item. It acts as a conduit
for dark entities, and even behind the glass,
she possesses a real risk if you talk shit to
it, as we have seen. Okay. So there you go. So
that's the somewhat condensed version of the
story that the Warrens have told for decades.
Those are some of their favorite stories. There's
not a lot to the Annabelle story. I don't know
if you know that. Yeah, no, it feels kind of
thin, to be honest with you. I almost feel like
they just stole a doll from this woman. She just
went in and they're like, the doll's haunted,
so I got to take it back with me. Weird that
they didn't, like, dismember it or burn it. They
were just like, no, I'm going to put it in a
glass case with some museum glass. It'll block
the UV light. Yeah, yeah. And then put a sign
on it. They treated it like you would treat a
reptile at a pet store. Yeah. The thing that
I don't understand is they brought the doll,
this horrible, haunted, evil fucking doll that
they know can curse people. And they were like,
let's charge money for people to put their lives
in danger. Yeah. Yeah. Because, Sarge, we're
going to get into it, but... Yeah, they're bad
people. I get it. Yeah, so like I said, that's
a condensed version of the story that the Warrens
told. And it's the one that turned Annabelle
into pretty much a household name. But once you
start pulling back the threads, the real question
becomes, how much of this story can be actually
verified? Well, here's the thing. While the story
is compelling and all the spine -chilling details,
possession lore, and the mystery surrounding
this doll... is is fucking cool as shit the entire
story of annabelle hinges on one source the warrens
literally everything we know about annabelle
comes from either the demonologist which was
a book published by the warrens in 1980 uh or
interviews lectures or even like secondhand stories
retold by their son -in -law tony sparrow so
let's break this down starting with the roommates
you got donna and angie uh they're pretty much
the origin point of this whole story but we don't
know anything we don't know their full names
like donna is said to be a 28 year old nursing
student angie is just her roommate and that's
it like no last names no photos of them nothing
anywhere that could help anyone other than the
warrens corroborate this story there's also the
fact that where the two lived like specifically
has never been publicly disclosed no street address
no city block or even neighborhood just quote
unquote somewhere in the greater hartford connecticut
area And then you got Lou, the dude allegedly
attacked by the doll. He too is only referred
to by first name only with zero evidence of him
being attacked. There's no photos of the injuries,
no independent interviews. Also, there's no dates
attached to his supposed attacks, like just a
story that comes from the Warrens' own testimony
or stories that have been repeated in books and
websites that then just cite back to the Warrens
as the original source. Well, don't we have the
last names of the priests, though? Well... Here's
the thing about the priests. Those names change,
and they're interchangeable. Oh, Jesus Christ.
Yeah, and sometimes they're not even named. The
only last name we got is that of Annabelle, whose
full name is Annabelle Higgins, the seven -year
-old girl who supposedly died on the property
where their apartment is now. But since we don't
know where that property is, you can't verify
that. People tried, but there are no death records,
no obituaries, and no archive. property history
linked to anyone by that name in Connecticut
that matches the time frame or age. But without
the physical address, and since the Warrens said
it was a demon and not a little girl ghost, it's
just as impossible to prove as it is to disprove,
which is kind of the point of the whole thing.
Yeah. I'm starting to sense a theme here. Yeah.
They were like, hold on, don't believe that bullshit
story? Well, here's another one. It was a demon
the whole time. Yeah. What else? We got the notes
on parchment paper in a home where there was
no parchment paper. So this detail, it only shows
up in different retellings of the story. And
it's the same shit with this. There's no photos
of the notes. They didn't keep the original notes.
So there's no way to confirm if they're real
or not. But like I said, this detail is only
in some versions of the story, not all. So this
bit could just be... The Warrens adding a little
spice to amp up the creep factor during some
of their lectures. That leads me into this. They
keep adding shit to the story. One of the more
sensational additions to the Annabelle lore came
later on when Ed was doing live lectures. He
used to tell the story about a police detective,
unnamed of course, who mocked the doll after
it had been taken in by the Warrens. And according
to Ed, this cop made the grave mistake of calling
the whole thing utter nonsense. And then not
long after, he was attacked. Not by Annabelle.
I don't think it was by Annabelle. It'd be crazy
because some versions say the cop was stabbed.
Others say he was just seriously injured. And
in at least one retelling, Ed claimed the officer
had to retire from the force because of his injuries.
But again, there's no name. No department, no
date, and no evidence that this ever happened.
It was just some bullshit Ed liked to tell at
his paranormal open mics. You know what I mean?
Very convenient. Very convenient. Yeah, yeah.
A lot of this story is convenient, I feel like.
Yeah. Sounds about right. Yeah, and the reason
why the Warrens could get away with constantly
adding or removing details from the lore surrounding
Annabelle is because there was no independent
verification of their claims. Unlike some of
the, quote -unquote, their better documented
cases, like the Parent Family Haunting, which
was like The Conjuring, or the Enfield Poltergeist,
which, let's be honest, they were barely involved
in either of those cases. Right. Exactly. Exactly.
Annabelle's case had no outside witnesses. There
was no journalists who investigated at the same
time as they did. There was no local news stories.
No police involvement was ever confirmed. And
because of this, the details shift depending
on the retelling. Like sometimes Lou gets scratched
while awake. Sometimes he gets scratched while
he's in that sleep paralysis state where he's
also getting choked out. Sometimes the medium
in the story is described in great detail. Sometimes
she's just vaguely mentioned as like a small
background character. And even the timeline shifts.
Like I don't know if you noticed when I said
up top, sometimes it's in 1970, sometimes it's
in 1971, which doesn't really help with the credibility
of the story. No, no. It's basically just like
an improv yes and session. Yeah, it really is.
And we're going to get into how it really is
more like that than you would think. And at the
core of the Warren story was their theory that
the doll wasn't haunted by a ghost. It was being
used by a demonic entity to deceive and manipulate
those around it. Now, this is the classic Warren
interpretation. They have said the same thing
about almost all of their cases. It's a pattern
that. pretty much became their signature move
and was usually presented without any real evidence
beyond, well, you know, it kind of just feels
evil. Like that's their whole argument. They're
very trust me, bro. Yeah. So the real Annabelle
doll, it's just a standard ass Raggedy Ann doll.
Those things were like mass produced and they
aren't really that creepy on their own. Yeah,
my mom had one. All the terror associated with
her comes from what's told about her, not...
that she actually does anything. Like once she
was locked away, no one has caught her doing
anything. There's been no credible videos or
recordings of sounds of her doing shit. It's
just the lore. Well, museum glass has been known
to stop evil. I read about it in, in Lorraine
Warren's book. Wait, now that I, I mean, apparently
not because if you talk shit to her, she's still
going to fucking make you crash your motorcycle.
So I feel like, but I mean, uneven road makes
motorcycles crash, so I'm not super impressed,
Annabelle. Yeah, or maybe they were just laughing
so hard about seeing Annabelle while riding.
Just the fucking constant shaking. I don't know.
But yeah, so after Ed and Lorraine took possession
of the doll, the story became part of their touring
lecture circuit. Tell the story during college
presentations, at paranormal conventions, and
on a bunch of daytime TV appearances because
they were actually famous. They did a bunch of
that shit. It quickly became their signature
and go -to story because it was short, dramatic,
creepy, and it was all tied to a physical object
that they could bring with them and show off.
Okay. And that is what gave the tale longevity.
Not documented proof or evidence, just good old
-fashioned word of mouth and performance. So,
all that to say... that the only confirmed and
true part about this whole story is the warrens
got a doll the rest is just folklore and theater
how much you want to bet they just went to like
the 1970s version of walmart and bought a fucking
doll over like i got an idea that is almost honestly
i that's what i believe 100 what happens yeah
like like i originally thought that they was
like some truth to the story, just in the sense
that someone said, I think my doll is haunted.
I mean, this is so much worse. It could have
been, but like, again, we know these people only
spoke to the warrants. No one else, like supposedly
there's no documentation of who they are. Last
name's photos. Like, I mean, I get them. Maybe
they want to run a main anonymous, but like at
some point, like your doll's blowing up. Yeah.
You know, like fucking take credit for that shit
or something. You could write a book. You could
have made about it. And these people and these
movies were made like early 2000s. So it's not
like the people of the story are dead now. They're
probably in their 50s or 60s or whatever. Like
they easily could have gotten some. Come out.
Claim your doll. Yeah. Now, as much as I fucking
despise the Warrens and their bullshit methods
of quote unquote paranormal investigating, the
story of Annabelle is kind of fascinating because
it's like the perfect case study on how folklore
gets packaged. Packaged as facts. Annabelle,
to really simplify, it's just an inanimate object
that just sits there while everyone else around
it projects their fears onto it. And that's proof
enough for those who visit her. It's spooky theater
dressed as documentation. And skeptics, rightly,
haven't been shy about calling it out. Joseph
Laycock, a professor of religious studies and
expert in paranormal belief systems, he described...
the Annabelle case as a classic example of belief
-driven folklore. So in his view, it's less about
paranormal reality and more about how people
internalize and reframe fear. He also pointed
out that the Warren's Museum was filled with
quote -unquote off -the -shelf Halloween junk,
not rare occult relics. Ed Lorraine Warren just
raided their local spirit Halloween. Pretty much.
Laycock and others have argued that stories like
Annabelle's are more influenced by earlier haunted
doll legends, like Robert the Doll in Florida,
or even pop culture things. There was an episode
of The Twilight Zone called Talking Tina, and
in that episode, the doll's name was also Annabelle.
That one's creepy. Yeah, that's creepy. In one
of the few deep dives into the Warrens' actual
museum, the New England Skeptical Society called
them out pretty hard. Their report described
the occult museum as more of a basement curiosity
shop than a vault of cursed horrors. There was
no documentation, no tests, and no baseline for
any of the claims being made. They described
the Warrens as quote -unquote unsophisticated
ghost hunters and said their work quote -unquote
exhibited a blatant disregard for scientific
methods. So their conclusion was... That's the
nicest way of calling somebody a hayseed I have
ever heard. So their conclusion was that the
field of a paranormal investigation, at least
as practiced by the Warrens, was pseudoscience
at best and deliberate myth -making at worst.
And then in 2005, a journalist from the Daily
Beast visited the Warrens' home and wrote that
the museum didn't exactly scream terrifying.
I did actually read that. I read that article.
I remember it. They said it looked more like
a basement packed with thrift store finds with
dramatic lighting and intense narration doing
most of the heavy lifting. And he noted that
seeing the real Annabelle doll, which was a raggedy
Ann doll behind glass, was more underwhelming
than unsettling. It's so, so good. That same
sentiment gets echoed a lot. Without the storytelling,
the warnings, the signs, the doll is just a doll.
It's like the narrative. itself that gives it
weight not the object yeah it's like they couldn't
alter the doll in like some way or another to
make it weirder yeah but what skeptics point
out the most is the structure of the story it
follows like the classic beats of like folklore
uh you got a cursed object that appears harmless
a warning not to tamper with it a tragic consequence
for someone who ignores that warning and a moral
about respecting the unknown. So in this case,
the message is you mock the supernatural and
you'll get punished. And that structure mirrors,
not just haunted doll stories, but it's like
every single horror movie made about a Ouija
board. You know, it's like that same kind of
beat for beat story. Um, skeptics also believe
as do I. that the fear factor behind Annabelle
the doll is it's all just the power of suggestion.
Like people see the doll and bring their own
expectations. Like they've heard the stories,
they've seen the movies, like they're already
primed to feel uneasy. So from there, it's not
hard for coincidence, anxiety, or later on when
they get home, sleep paralysis to be interpreted
as supernatural retaliation for. snickering at
it you know what i mean yeah yeah well i mean
it works it works because if i ever saw this
fucking doll the last thing on earth i do is
pick on it yeah i mean i don't know as stupid
as i find it the last thing on earth i would
do just in case you don't want to be that guy
yeah you don't want to tempt fate um Right, yeah.
As Benjamin Radford, a well -known paranormal
investigator and skeptic, put it, he said, quote,
haunted doll stories are often fueled by nothing
more than the power of suggestion and a good
imagination. So Annabelle, if you look at it
from that angle, is less a demon and more like
a Rorschach test. Yep. It's just a simple object
with a wild story tied to it. But yeah, so Annabelle...
Probably would have just stayed a footnote in
the Warren's collection, only pulled out for
lectures and paranormal conventions. But thanks
to Hollywood, in 2013, The Conjuring dropped
her into the mainstream. The doll only appeared
in the opening scene briefly, but the audience
latched onto it immediately. So, of course, the
studio ran with it, and now she's got her own
full -blown movie franchise. Oh, yeah. Yeah,
you got Annabelle that came out in 2014, where
they gave her some bullshit origin story that
tied her to satanic cults for some reason. Then
there's Annabelle Creation, came out in 2017,
which doubled down on that premise with a prequel
set in the 40s. And then you got Annabelle Comes
Home in 2019, which takes place in the Warrens'
actual home. She also made cameos in other Ed
and Lorraine movies, like The Conjuring 2. And
also she was in The Curse of La Llorona, which
technically isn't part of the... cinematic universe,
which is a phrase that fills me with absolute
rage. She was just in there as more of like a
Easter egg, I guess. And as I'm sure you notice,
the Annabelle doll in those movies is not a Raggedy
Ann doll, but now a cracked porcelain nightmare
because it's way more terrifying. Right. Yeah,
but people love that shit. Annabelle is now a
modern horror icon, but the worst part is now
people conflate the movies with the actual story.
So the myth fed the movies, but now the movies
are feeding the myth. It's like an Ouroboros
of just bullshit, but... It's just nonsense all
the way down. Yeah, but... I mean, whatever.
Whether you think she's possessed, cursed, or
just famous for being famous, Annabelle isn't
really going to go anywhere. As long as people
are scared of dolls, and they always will be,
she's going to stay relevant. And in turn, so
will the Warrens, which fucking sucks. You know
who's really scared of dolls? Zach Baggins. I
didn't know this, but he's terrified of dolls.
Yeah. I mean, also, dolls suck. They're not great.
I mean, the porcelain ones are creepy as shit.
Raggedy Ann doesn't scare me at all. No, but
that's why they had to change it. That's why
it's not Raggedy Ann in the movies. Exactly.
So now she's no longer a paranormal artifact.
She's an IP. She's a brand. She's a story you
want to hear, retell, and challenge. Touch the
case, take the selfie, talk some shit to her,
see what happens. And every time someone claims
they did and something weird happens after, the
story gets added to the pile. A new entry in
a growing and ever -evolving legend based on
absolutely nothing. So... It's really interesting
that you mention that because... Bear with me
because this might be a roundabout thing, but
bear with me. That's fine. There's a thing called
a vaccine injury list. Okay. And anytime somebody
gets a vaccine and then something happens to
them, it goes on the list. And so a lot of the
people who believe... That's the self -reported
one, right? Where like... Yeah. Yeah. And you
can't verify it anyway. Exactly. So a lot of
people who believe that, you know, COVID killed
people because they followed the vaccine injury
list. But the thing is, there are people who
are hit by cars and that was reported. Yeah.
Like, oh, this person died after getting the
vaccine. But the idiots who believe that the
vaccine killed a bunch of people didn't read
that like. This guy choked on a ham sandwich.
This guy was hit by a car. Instead, they're just
like, whoa, vaccines killing people. It's the
same thing with a stupid Annabelle doll. Something
bad is bound to happen to you as a human being.
It's just the way life is. Yeah, it's... It also
doesn't seem like there's varying degrees of
what happens when you fuck with Annabelle. It's
like you talk shit and then you fucking crash
your car or you get stabbed. It's not like if
you just look at her wrong, you stub your toe.
I feel like if you're going to fuck with Annabelle,
she's going to destroy your life. I don't know.
But anyways, there you have it. That's the bullshit
fucking story of Annabelle. It wasn't supposed
to be a debunked and yeah, but I got mad. So
I said, fuck it. We're just going to go ham on
this one. But yeah, so yeah, there you have it.
The actual, the actual story of the Annabelle
doll is much shorter than the bullshit surrounding
it, which I think is hilarious because it just
goes to show that like it's all just story after
the fact. The only source is the Warrens. They
just built an empire around a throwaway story
that Ed probably made up. Yeah. I don't trust
a fucking bus driver to tell me about fucking
the paranormal. Fuck that guy. All right. So
there you have it. I got it out of my system.
Just weird religious zealots who... Yeah, they're
just fucking nightmare people. Yeah. Debunked.
Yeah. But you know, this isn't going to matter
to anyone. Yeah, no one's going to care. Yeah,
not even a little bit. People are going to be
like, well, what about this? I remember learning
about the Enfield story and how the Warrens showed
up and because they didn't want more publicity,
the Warrens basically took off and then did a
victory lap and said they fixed it. Yeah, they
insert themselves into stories where they weren't
really ever... a part of. Like, they just built
their own... Because back in the day, when they
were doing this fucking bullshit, like, no one...
You couldn't call them out on it. It's not like
you... Yeah, there was no way to find out if
they were wrong or not. Yeah, they just said
their bullshit, and then... It was like Mike...
I mean, even then, it was like Mike Warnky with
the fucking satanic panic shit. Like, you couldn't
prove or disprove anything he was saying. Like,
and so, it just grows into this, like I said,
an Ouroboros of bullshit. Like, it's fucking
stupid. All right, so if anyone wants to send
us hate mail about how we're wrong about this,
that'd be fucking awesome. I would like to shit
on anyone. Yeah, go for it. All right. But if
you come in here defending Matt Rife, you're
going to have a fight in your hands. Yeah, I'll
fucking hate that guy so much. He's such a piece
of shit. He's so annoying. He's the worst. There
you go. There you have it. That is Annabelle
debunked. because I feel like it needed to be
done. We're not the first to do it, but I just
had to get my two cents out there. We had to
get in there and stir the pot a little bit. Yeah.
All right. Well, that's it. That's all I got.
I don't know if you got anything you want to
add. That's all I got. I got nothing. I got nothing
other than Matt Reif looks like a fuckboy, and
Raggedy Ann is not scary, so I don't know what
they were driving at. All right. Yeah, so with
that out of the way, I guess you can follow us
on Instagram at Cryptic Cocktail, TikTok, Cryptic
Cocktail Party. Leave us a five -star rating
review. That'd be awesome. Do wherever you can.
Apple, Spotify. I don't know where else you can
do it. I'm sure there's other venues you can
do it. Yeah. Sorry, do you guys think you want
to plug before we sign off? No, hit me up on
the interwebs, Sarge the Destroyer. You can find
it on just Google Sarge the Destroyer. I'm the
only one dumb enough to use that name, so. Yeah.
And fuck Ed and Lorraine Warren. And with that
out of the way, do you want to say goodbye and
love you to the audience, bud? Goodbye. And unlike
Matt Reif, I love you.