Hey everyone, Dave here with another Interdimensional
Swap for you guys. This week, I am super excited
to bring you an episode of one of my favorite
podcasts, The Cool Parents Podcast. It's not
a parenting podcast, so don't worry about that.
It's actually hosted by two of, I guess you would
call, my lifelong friends, Curtis and Justin,
both of which who have been a guest on our show
before. Curtis was on our Murfreesboro Mud Monster
episode, I believe. No, the Enfield Monster episode.
and Justin was on, I want to say, the UFOs in
the Wild West and Black Eyed Kids. So if you
haven't heard those episodes, definitely check
them out after you check this out. It's a super
fun podcast, very funny. It's definitely a preferred
sense of humor type of podcast, but trust me,
it's really fucking good. And hey, even if you
listen to this and you're not a fan of the podcast,
definitely check out their band, also called
Cool Parents. easily one of the best bands I've
ever heard in my entire life. I don't even know
how to describe it. Maybe Blink -182, Alkaline
Trio, Lillington's kind of Weezer all mashed
into one kind of vibe. But they got songs about
Bigfoot, vampires, ghosts. So it's definitely
a lot of fun. So here it is. I'll stop talking
now. Cool parents with their episode, Rippin'
Dicks and Drinkin' Gravy. jesus christ what a
good thought Today's episode of the Cool Parents
Podcast is brought to you by Rigatoni. Welcome,
one and all. I've been eating a lot of pasta.
Chickpea pasta. I got a bunch of it. It's cheap.
Yeah. Oh, yeah, I've had that. It's all protein.
Tastes good. Protein plus. Barilla. That's right.
From Barilla. Yeah, make a little sauce and pour
it on it. Make a little fucking sauce. Meatball.
It's not a gravy. It's a sauce. Make a fucking
meatball. I won't. Make a fucking hot dog meatball.
Yeah, yeah. Make a meatball out of hot dogs.
I'm keeping quiet here. Welcome to the Cool Parents
Podcast. I'm Curtis Charles. I'm Meatball Boy.
Meatball Boy. Yeah. Okay. Meatball. Yeah, I think
the world's finally ready for Meatball Boy. That's
right. After all these years of training. I can't
believe it hasn't been done yet. Meatball. Meatball.
Meatball. It's a good word. Meatball. Meatball.
I like the way it feels. Yeah. You get like your
mouth's full of puke. Exploding. Meatball. Meatball.
Meatball. Yeah, fill them full of air. Meatball.
Meatball. Meatball. This is good radio here.
Welcome to the show, one and all, ladies and
gentlemen. We've got a good one for you today.
It's going to be an all -timer. You think? I
know so. Don't put pressure on it. It's not just
on you. Don't put pressure. No, I'm very confident
in what I have as well, for sure. For show meat.
Okay. I brought the best - It's funny you should
say meat. Prized meat. What? Meatball. Meatball.
All right, we got to stop. We got to stop. Here
it comes. People don't want to hear us say meatball
a million times. You know what they do want to
hear? A couple people do. You know what they
do want to hear, though? Yeah. Yeah. All these
segments that we are going to do, like our main
event tonight is going to be a little Tumbleweed
Earth action. All right. If you've been waiting
with bated breath for the synopsis of the future
award -winning film, Tumbleweed Earth, that we're
making, it's already been funded and we filmed
it. It's coming to Netflix. One of these days.
Exclusive. Yeah. So we're going to talk about
that later. It involves a big tumbleweed. It
stars Nick Offerman. It does? Yeah. Yeah, okay.
He plays like a Teddy Roosevelt type. Okay, yeah.
Okay, we'll get there. You know what I mean?
We'll get there. That's a good... Keep that in
mind. Yeah! Tell him what I'm doing. I can hear...
He's doing finger guns. But I can hear him saying,
yep! But I'm doing it with both hands, you know?
I know. One at a time. You're like, you know,
what's his name there? That's me spinning my
guns. Smith Wesson. Buck. We've also got, I believe
you've got poem. Yeah, yeah, I do. Yeah, so everybody
loves a good poem from Justy Boy. My mouth is
dry. Wow. And I blame that all on Big Papi. Hey,
Big Papi. Big Papi makes cannabis products now.
I wouldn't know nothing about that. He does.
Big Papi, David Ortiz. Big fucking Papi. I think
it's a sin. Big fucking Papi, David. Have you
seen this, Papi? Huge. Big. Big as they get.
You know what else I got? What else? Have you
read these documents? All right. That's all I'm
going to say. All right, Chris. Chris. Come on,
Chris. I think I can get it down. I got to get
real close to the microphone. Yeah. So I'll hear
it right in my ears, you know? Come on. Come
on now, Chris. Got to hear the lip. You're going
to be hearing from Jesse Ventura later, too.
But you want to start with the poem? Yeah. Okay.
Go ahead. I have a new poem. I'll be ready. Do
you need any sounds, music? How about a little
sizzling, like a pot? You know, like a little
sauce. Oh, a sizzle sound. Okay. Yeah, like a
light boil. You know what I mean? Unlike those
boils on Lemmy's face. A light boil. Sizzling
meat. Not meat. No, no. Not that. That's a greasy
meat, Fire. No, I don't want meat. It's not meat.
Well, it is meat, but it's not meat. It's a meatball.
How do you know? Why would you think something
like that? Is that sizzling meatball? I'm not
talking about a meatball. We're not cooking the
meatball. The meatball's sitting in a pot of
sauce. Oh, okay. So I need the sauce. The sound
of sauce. The sound of sauce. Let's see what
sauce. Sauce sounds. Sauce sound loop. I bet
there's one. I bet there's sauce simmering for
seven hours straight. See? Alliteration. That's
what gets the clicks. Is that a sauce? Maybe.
That's whatever you want it to be. What is it?
Is that a goddamn dead fucking meat cooking again?
Shut it off! Sorry. Give me the sauce. You give
me what I need. That sounds like a goddamn steak
to me. How about this? Moaning woman sounds for
10 hours. Yeah. Does this work? Yeah, yeah, that's
good. Let's see where it climaxes here. No, it
doesn't. Okay. What do you want? Give me the
sauce. Sauce sound. Sauce simmering. Sauce no
ketchup sound effect. Sauce no ketchup sound
effect. Sauce no ketchup. That's not it. That's
going to distract from my poem. But I do like
it. I like the idea. It's got to be perfect,
all right? Hot tub? Yeah. Or just like simmering,
you know? It's fine. Just general simmering.
But it's got to be liquid. That'll do, yeah.
That's not too wet. No, it's too much. The jets
are on. It's the bubbles. Hot bubbles. I hear
a little meatball in there. All right. All right.
You can just pull the steak, but no. All right.
Can you turn it down in the mix a little bit?
A little lower in the mix, please. All right.
Are you ready to learn something today? Me? Yeah.
This one's, it's, you know. Now I just feel like
we're sitting in the tub. Yeah. Smoking cigars.
Yeah. Is that cool with you? Is that the kind
of... I feel like we're sitting and we're just
a couple of meatballs sitting inside a fucking...
A big pot. Just a vat of marinara. Yeah, just
at a light boil, you know? Yeah, I'm selling
a meatball and I'm at a light boil. Yeah. I'm
full of sauce. I'm ready. That's what I'm saying.
Give me the sauce. This is my new poem. It's
called... What it means to be a meatball. Okay.
In the kitchen, inside a pot of gravy, I lay.
Just another meaningless meatball in complete
disarray. I think about life with a heavy heart
as I wait to fulfill my culinary part. Am I just
a ball of meat? Destined to be a delicious treat?
Is there more to me? Do I have a soul? Or am
I destined to die on a fat man's roll? I float
in the sauce and attempt to meditate, but I cannot
help but fixate on the thought of being eight.
Yeah. Maybe I'll be dissected while I lie helpless
on a plate. Either way, my future's not looking
too great. Floating and rolling, I catch a glimpse
of my reflection. Staring back at me, a meatball
with no goals or direction. Suddenly, clarity,
a complete mental overhaul. Maybe I should be
grateful for ever being a meatball at all. There
are worse ways to go than face down on a dish.
You can be murdered in a well or even get squished.
As I roll my last rolls in a boiling red sea,
I accept it's time to pay the piper and face
my destiny. What does it mean to be a meatball,
my friend? A scrumptious delight until the bitter
end. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought
they were going to get. But you can't change
the past and you can't live with regrets. If
you work hard and you're kind, amazing things
will hit. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to
become some Italian guy's shit. Meatball. Meatball.
That's what it means to be a meatball. What do
you think of that one? That was good. This feels
like a hot tub, so I'm going to get out. All
right. But absolutely another banger. You think?
Yeah. I worked hard on it. I was up until 2 in
the morning writing that last night. I was laughing.
I got those words down. I'm going to write children's
books. I'm going to do it. I had a fuck in there,
too, and I took it out. I chose to take it out.
A fuck? A fuck. A fuck? Yeah, I'm going clean
with my poetry now. Just like Will Smith. Except
I said shit. Well, that's okay. They'll still
put you on Kidz Bop. Yeah. So. You know. Cosby
said shit. So. He was clean. Yeah. Yeah, I guess.
Okay. Well, I'll tell you what it means to be
a meatball. That's how you be your own meatball.
I was a meatball. I was a frog man. I was a meatball
man. And I was a Navy SEAL and a fighter. I tell
it like it is. Like it is. The people like me
because I'm honest. Honest. I'm honest. Honest.
Honest. Well, Jesse, the body Ventura. Professional
wrestler turned mayor turned governor. I served
my country as a governor and as a frog man. What
did you ever do? Look, if I couldn't make the
shot, there's no way Oswald could have done it.
Yeah. So basically that's him. He's now a conspiracy
theorist. But like, not the bad kind. The kind
of harmless kind mostly. And I agree with him
a lot of the time. I agree with him. Yeah. I
agree with him, even though it's a little, a
little bit whacked out. Yeah. His delivery is
leaves. Well, no, it's, it's great. It's perfect.
Yeah. No, he got a vote. He got a single vote
in New Hampshire in that primary. Yeah. And I
want to know what it was. Cause I, I didn't do
it. You didn't do it. No, I didn't go. I didn't
go at all. I'll be honest with you. I didn't.
It was a joke this time. It really was. It really
meant nothing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like it legitimately
meant nothing. Yeah. The DNC was like, no. You
wouldn't have voted for Nikki Haley? Of course,
yeah, I did that. No, they wouldn't let me because
I'm registered as a communist. Oh. I'm registered
as a lib. I want to unregister. I'm just not
going to. I don't want to do jury duty again.
I don't want to take that risk. Have you done
it? Yeah, I did it once. Was it sick? No. What
was the case? I don't know. I wasn't listening.
I'm the worst person to be on that jury. You
probably could have told him that and got out
of it. I told the judge, I don't care. I just
don't. I can't care. And I know I'm supposed
to, but I just can't. I'm not going to listen.
I'm not going to want to be there. I'm going
to be thinking about fucking bubble yum the entire
time that grape flavor. I'm thinking, where does
that come from? Where do they get that? That
powder. The bubble powder? Yeah. Yeah. How do
they make the gum purple? You know what I mean?
How do they? Frogs. How do they do it? It's an
amino acid secreted by frogs. So anyway, that's
what I would have been thinking about during
jury. So anyway. I claimed financial hardship
and they said, oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. Look, I
was a frog man. I was delivering pizzas at the
time for weeksies. Have you read these documents?
Have you read this receipt? Well, anyway, basically
what I'm getting at here, Jesse the Body Ventura
has a lot to say, but it's even better when it's
out of context. Yeah. So I removed the context
from interviews and I got a new one. I took out
all the context and just left the parts that
really, really mattered. And then. stuck all
those clips together with no distinction or context
so here's what we got this is a there was an
interview oh and the funny thing is this is not
the same interview where he talked about the
gray whales and electricity yeah but it's the
stone cold podcast that's right yeah but he says
the same shit yeah he always does i was going
through it and it was like an hour -long interview
yeah is this new it's a new one uh when was it
let me check I listened to one in the car the
other day. It was him arguing with some newscaster
about the Kennedy assassination. And he said
that, too. If I couldn't make the shot, there's
no way Oswald could have done it. So this Ventura
interview. Huh? I shook Fidel Castro's hand.
I looked him in the eye, man to man. I said,
Cuba's nice. fidel walked over to my table and
extended his hand in friendship but i accepted
it on behalf of the united states of america
and i'm proud to have been a friend of fidel
castro even when it was unpopular he was a good
man he did a another interview i saw recently
that was like that i legitimately like hit hard
Cause it was about like just how much he loves
his wife and, uh, how, cause he was like campaigning
for marijuana. Yeah. Or if he puts out a fucking
weed strain. Oh my God. I'm getting that. I'm
getting that. Exclusively. Yeah. It'd be called
these documents. Have you had, have you read
these documents? This one's called the Declaration
of Independence. Burn it down. Let's start fresh.
That document was written over 200 years ago.
There's a title of one of his things here. It's
called 63 Documents the Government Doesn't Want
You to Read. And that's the name of his book,
actually. Oh, shit. But yeah, he's like, cannabis
saved my wife's life and therefore saved my life.
And she hasn't had a seizure since. Not one.
She took the prescription medication and had
seizures. And we worked out every day and I had
her hanging upside down like a bat. Get the oxygen
back to her brain so she could recover more better.
And with cannabis, she's been seizure -free for
three years. No, the one that I chopped and screwed
a little bit, I didn't screw, I just chopped.
It's from five months ago. Okay. And it's with
Graham Bensinger, or Bensinger, I'm not sure.
I guess he's a sports journalist of some kind.
Okay. But of course, almost none of this is about
sports. Okay, let's see, let's hear it, let's
hear it. When they ask you what you're qualified
to do as a Navy SEAL or frogman, I'm qualified
for diving, demolition, and parachuting. Hand
me my unemployment check. You run to run. You
run to chow. You run everywhere you go. And I
ended up at the end of the day with about four
big flapping blisters on my hands because they
weren't toughened. I'd just come from A school.
And he looked at all of us and says, okay, which
one of you pukes has flappers? He grabbed every
flapper and ripped them off. So I had to stand
in front of the class and rip off my own flappers.
He looked at me and says, now get back in line,
you big dummy. And then along came this young
guy called the Louisville Lip. I remember when
he was going to fight List and nobody picked
Cassius to win except me. It was one of the best
days of my life. What did you guys do during
that day? Hung out. I was governor. Harvey walked
in with a big box, and he set it down on my governor
-elect desk. They would have given him a pat
job. Mohammed's down on his back. Gorgeous Georgia,
one of them guys, was at it. No third party's
been allowed to debate since I won. They asked
me about the IRRRB. Well, nobody down here in
the city is going to know what the hell the IRRRB
is. I didn't know. I said, I don't even know
what it is. Did you know I never used a prepared
speech my entire run for governor? That's how
come if I run for president, if they let me in
the debates, I'd win that too. Bold talk, isn't
it? If they got the freaking guts to let me in
a debate, I'll come in and destroy their two
candidates and steal the election in November.
Can you pause it? I want that so badly. For him
to destroy the candidates and take over the...
I just want him to run as a third party and I
want him to find a way to get into the... No,
to get into the debates. Oh, oh, okay. Because
Jesse Ventura steamrolling Donald Trump. It would
be the funniest thing. It would be so funny.
And they would never be able to play him off.
They'd have to mute his mic. Yeah. Because he
just would talk right over them over the time
limit and shit. Yeah. He wins by being louder.
But I'm honest. Good Minnesota. Would you like
to be president? No. I don't distinguish between
the two parties because there is no difference.
after you were elected? They're both owned by
the same corporate ownership. I wish they'd require
anyone running for president to wear a NASCAR
suit with patches dictating who owns them. If
Jesse Ventura runs for president, there won't
be a patch on the suit. It'll be clear white.
I imagine some of my opponents wouldn't have
enough suit. to put the patches on. They may
have to have a subordinate wear one, too, so
they could get all the patches on. There's no
strings over Jesse Ventura. No puppet master
on me. That's not true. During the campaign,
she contacted Mono and didn't know it. And it
evolved into chronic fatigue syndrome, which
is real. I couldn't even get these cowards to
vote it on the floor. How were you able to convince
the Bush administration to let... Minnesota trade
with Cuba? I don't know. I think I'm the only
elected official who can say while elected met
with Fidel Castro. Oh boy, is America great.
We give you two, one more than Fidel. You know,
you might as well give it because our two are
the same. So you might as well just get Fidel.
You know, same thing. Home of the brave, land
of the free, right? Okay, I'll tell you a quick
story. that I've never told, I don't think, publicly.
He looked around, he whispered, Cuba. I said,
okay. He said it was an inside job. He said Oswald
couldn't make the shots. Oswald couldn't make
the shots and it was an inside job. I think a
coup d 'etat took place. He loves coup d 'etat.
Had John Kennedy lived, there would have been
no Vietnam War. Imagine that. I've read every
book on it. The Warren Commission's a farce.
That's been proven. Kennedy was killed. They
were doing it through Pope John. He died of cancer.
And Khrushchev was a coup d 'etat happened in
Russia. My country does a lot of things that
if people paid attention to, they wouldn't find
it so wonderful. Now, do you see why mainstream
media don't like Jesse Ventura? Chris Kyle, deadliest
sniper. of American history, author of American
Sniper, the best -selling book, which became...
Is he the deadliest sniper in American history?
Okay, well, that's how he's regarded. No, no,
that's what he alleges. Well, I was in Mexico
off the grid, so I couldn't react to it. I heard
about it from an email from my son. He didn't
have the honor. He didn't have this hero from
the war, didn't have the courage to tell the
truth. And he's not a hero. You know why? He's
a backstabbing liar. He whored the trident for
money and fame. He took an old timer like me
and threw me under the bus so he could get money.
And the point is, he's not a hero. You know why
he's not a hero? Because heroes have to have
honor. You have to have honor to be a hero. A
liar has no honor. Follow me? It was like a jet
or a rocket going into space. You have to have
a booster. A booster that gets you to space,
and then once you're in space, you can orbit.
I was the booster rocket. See, I think this attack
could well be bigger than Kyle. If I'm involved
in a court case like this, I can't run for office,
can I? It would be the equivalent of me throwing
a WW2 frogman under the bus. That's a good one.
Well, the SEALs like to pride themselves that
they've never left a body behind. They have now
me. I bear no grudge against Vince. You used
to, though, didn't you? No. I don't take crap
from no one. I'm an individual, and I didn't
even take crap from him. Special Forces, 6 '4",
250. I fit it perfect, and I had the background
for it. And I chewed tobacco, which was in the
script. They asked me, can you chew tobacco?
And I pulled out my Copenhagen and Redman. I
said, I've been chewing for 20 years. Damn proud
to be chewing. Makes Cambodia look like Kansas.
We were the real veterans of the platoon who
had, he was Army, I was Navy. Arnold would look
Sven. We better get up earlier. Look at Jesse
Dabati's in here. Who knows how long he's been
in here. We had some great builds on the show.
I mean, you got Mr. Olympia Schwarzenegger, the
best built man in the world. Jesse the Body Ventura.
Carl Weathers, Apollo Creed. Great build. Sonny
Landham, great build. You got all these bodies
down there. Well, we don't look like we look
by laying around. I don't do the internet. So
guess who has to do the internet for me? I don't
send emails. I've never owned a cell phone. And
now it's my life's mission not to. I live off
the grid. I live an hour from pavement and an
hour from electricity. I have everything you
have electric -wise because I'm completely solar.
I live off the sun. Other than doing my off -the
-grid show, which we do from various locations
so that the... Drones won't find me and kill
me. Because, you know, today, if you speak ill
about United States government and policy, we
will kill you without a trial with a drone. We've
done it before and certainly will do it again.
Holy shit. Does that not concern you that our
government kills people without a trial, its
own citizens? But we're doing it, aren't we?
Isn't that unconstitutional? I describe it as
flushing out your brain. People often ask me,
what can you do in Mexico that you can't do here?
Here it comes. I'll tell you one thing I've done
there that you can't do here. I've gone to a
lagoon. Yes. Some Mexican guides. I've gone out
in the lagoon and I physically touched gray whales
in the wild and stuck my hands in their mouths
from a boat. From a boat. Can't do that here.
They love to have their gums scratched. I got
into a water fight with them where they'd spray
me with the blowhole and I'd throw water on them.
And I've looked into their eyes. The mental image
I'm getting of this. I know. What do you do?
Clearly, they communicate. How would they know
it's safe? How would they know in this one little
lagoon in Mexico you can interact with these
humans that they're forced to live with because
they need our air? Remember, they're not fish.
I have metal in my body, and when I go to an
airport, I'm treated like a criminal. What jury
is going to go against me? I've been a mayor.
I've been a governor. I'm an honorably discharged
Navy veteran. That's why they fear me. Whoa.
Wow. Turned into a Darth Vader at the end there
a little bit. Turned into a Darth. Yeah, that
was beautiful. And that's just recent. And then
come to think about... Whenever it was the last
time when he was talking about the gray whales,
it was at least a couple of years ago. Yeah.
So he's still running those same stories. If
it comes up, it comes up, right? Well, he makes
it come up whenever he can. Yeah, I live down
in the Baja. I really like the part where he
said, He's a backstabbing liar. He whored the
Trident. He whored the Trident. That was my favorite
part. Don't whore the trident. You never want
to hoard the trident. Whore. No, hoard. Think
about it. Then he would have said whore did.
Nope. Think about it. Okay. So that's the document
for the week. I hope you liked it. I hope you
learned something because I sure did. Okay. Here's
the thing. Okay. Yeah. We're going to do a little
tumbleweed earth action. Yeah. How does that
make you feel? Yeah. Yep. Yep. Yeah. We're going
to pitch a movie. So. We're going to pitch a
movie about tumbleweed earth where the earth
gets engulfed by a giant tumbleweed. Yeah. And
it replaces the atmosphere with tumbleweed. Yeah.
It gets bigger than the whole earth. Sucks up
all of the ocean. Sucks up the whole earth and
then. 100 years later into the future yeah the
mutant children that are there we're gonna figure
it out i've got i wrote down the ideas that i've
had i'm thinking like the mutants like kind of
like like the bat you know and batman yeah the
yeah future future mutant yeah bald head that's
a good band name spike chains yeah yeah post
-apocalyptic like kind of no it's a choice it's
a gang It's a gang, right. Right, right, right.
But it is kind of apocalyptic, right? Don't you
think? No. Because tumbleweed everywhere. No,
it's just a new norm, you know? Yes, yeah. But
it blocks out the sun, which does fuck things
up. Right. But we adapt. We adapt, yeah. We adapt.
Life finds a way. You think it'd be cold in there,
or you think it'd be warm? It'd probably be warm
after the oceans get drunk up. Yeah. Don't drink
the ocean dry, son. That's the thing. Water shortage.
Yes. Even saltwater gets all drunk up. You could
drink saltwater. Yeah, I know. He could. It's
fine. Why not? It's good enough for fists. What's
the worst that could happen? Here's some ideas
that I got. Former bounty hunter, okay? Forced
out of retirement when a mysterious figure emerges
from the heart of the tumbleweed. This figure
possesses knowledge that could change the course
of humanity. The bounty hunter reluctantly takes
on the task of tracking them down, facing personal
demons and old demons, all while trying to decipher
the secrets hidden within the rolling mass that
swallowed the world. Did you write that? Yeah.
You did? Yeah. You like that? I wasn't sure if
it was you or an AI. I just wanted to make sure
we get the proper credit. Oh, no. That was all
me, baby. Yeah. That's good. That's nice. We
got a... I hate it. Next idea. Okay, next idea.
In a forgotten city. Can't fucking stand it.
Buried beneath the tumbleweeds. Yeah. We've got
a group of survivors. Mutant children. Yeah,
they could be mutant children. They have sort
of like a Thunderdome kind of event that they
do, but it's just a tumbleweed rodeo, and they
do it. Periodically, it's almost like a Hunger
Games sort of event where all the cowboys have
to compete and navigate through tumbleweed mazes
and navigating around traps, fending off mutated
creatures. So mutants have got to be in there.
All right. Totalitarian government. So it's not
really about the earth being a tumbleweed. It's
already happened. Yeah, it's 100 years in the
future. Right, right. But every movie sets, you
know, it's like the Twilight Zone entrance. You
know what I mean? How he sets it up. Oh, right,
right, right, right. We could do an anthology
series, you know? Stories from within the tumbleweed.
Yeah, tumbleweed earth. Tumbleweed earth. Yeah,
it's an anthology series. Yeah, yeah, okay. I
follow you. Yeah, we should get someone on the
line to draw this up. Yeah. Yeah, we'll make
a Tumbleweed Earth comic book. Yeah, that's what
I'm saying. We'll do that instead. Probably be
easier. Yeah. I was thinking of it, maybe animated
anyway. It's going to be real expensive. We'll
get the money. All right. We also, there's this
possibility, a cowboy, he finds a... I like it.
I like it. He discovers an ancient musical instrument
buried within the Tumbleweed. All right. As he
plays the haunting melodies. The tumbleweed seems
to respond. Ooh. Revealing hidden pathways of
endormant technologies. The ancient musical instrument
is a conduit for communicating with a race of
extraterrestrial beings that reside within the
tumbleweed. Ooh, all right. So we got aliens
and cowboys, okay? And we can fit mutants in
there. Yeah, oh, mutants too. Mutant children
sidekicks. Mutant kids, yeah. Mutant children.
Sidekicks. They're feral. Feral children. It's
a choice. It's just their gang. There's more
about this alien species, too. All right. As
the cowboys play their new magic instrument that
they found, the alien within the tumbleweed tell
them that they plan on using the planet Earth
as an intergalactic spaceship. All right, yeah.
They're basically going to make this tumbleweed
earth into a tumbleweed in the galactic proportion.
Big. You feel me? Tumbleweed galaxy? Yeah. So
then, yeah, then we got conflict because then
the cowboys, they're going to have to decide
if they're going to just let it happen and join
forces with the aliens in the tumbleweed. Yeah.
Or they're going to have to rise up and take
them out. Nope. How about this one? Not that
one. How about this one? How about this one?
All right. There is a legendary oasis at the
Prime Meridian. Oh! Yep. Which itself turns out
to be a sentient entity. It's a wise and ancient
being that communicates with the cowboys through
cryptic visions. To reach the oasis, the cowboys
must decipher the strange dreams and riddles
that it sends to them. Yeah, all right. So they've
got dream visitors. Yeah. And maybe one of them's
got like a mutant child or something. Yeah. There's
a mutant child. Sidekick. They see a cryptic
vision of a. We need a sloth, you know. Yeah.
Of a mutant child. No, but there's more than
one. There's a whole like, you know. Yeah. Gang
of mutated. It's the norm. Yeah. After the tumble,
we take over and the sun was. They got mutated.
yeah it's just spontaneously mutated it's evolution
too much sand it's evolution you know yeah you're
right they've evolved that we've adapted to the
tumbleweed because people have different qualities
now that tumbleweed took over you know oh yeah
yeah we're 100 years in the future people have
started to change quite a bit change and now
that the nine feet tall is how they're born right
no that's too tall six seven feet no that's too
much of a budget same size You don't want to
be an avatar? Smaller. Big. Yeah. I got one more.
A historian's research unveils a secret society
of time -traveling tumbleweed gardeners who accidentally
unleashed the giant tumbleweed that took over
the world while trying to cultivate a perfect
garden across different eras. Now the cowboys
must navigate through time -traveling tumbleweed
pockets and wormholes. Ah, Prime Meridian. Encountering
eccentric visions of historical figures and dealing
with the consequences of the gardeners' whimsical
experiments, such as Pangea. That's just what
I thought that was about. It's a new Pangea that's
created. Because these gardeners were wrangling
their tumbleweeds and them boys so hard that
all the continents drifted back into a Pangea.
Yeah. So those are the ideas. I was leaning toward
the Prime Meridian. Yeah, Prime Meridian, I believe.
There's a legendary oasis at the Prime Meridian,
which is a sentient entity that sends dreams
to the cowboys. Yeah. I listened to Sebastian
Bach on a podcast the other day, and I don't
know why I like that guy, but I do. Really? Yeah,
man! I haven't. I haven't even thought about
that guy since like, I don't know, 10 years ago
at least. Yeah, he's great. We're going to get
him back. We're going to get him in this movie.
We're going to get Sebastian Bach? Fuck yeah.
He's got a new song out. Is he going to do the
soundtrack? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, man. I was partying.
All right. Oh, yeah. Oh, this sounds like Tumbleweed
Earth. That's hard, man. All right. Yeah, man.
That's my new song. There he is. Sebastian Bach.
Yeah. Not the other one. Right. The other one.
The better one. Okay. So what's the dream that
they're going to have that's going to send them
on their way to... Well, let's come up with characters
first. Yeah, set the scene here. What do we got?
We got some characters. Now, what's going on
here? There's a legend around about town that
there's a beautiful oasis down at the Prime Meridian.
Yeah. What was formerly known as the Prime Meridian.
Right. Right. There's no more ocean. Right. Tumbleweed
drank all up. Yeah, that whole thing's gone.
The whole damn thing. Prime Meridian is no more.
Right. But we still use it for maps. Right. Well,
it's a town, right? One of them's a cowboy. Right.
Right. And one of them's... Is it a Nick Offerman?
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, of course. Yeah. No.
Yeah. No, I'm thinking more. I mean, it's like
a Jeff Bridges kind of cowboy, but not Jeff Bridges.
Yeah. You are not LeBeef. Yeah. Who'd be a good
cowboy? It doesn't matter. Jeff Bridges. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Jeff Bridges is fine. I mean, he
did RIPD, didn't he? Yeah. Was that him? I don't
know. I think it was. I think it was that. So.
So, yeah, so. Who's the main feller? Is it a
feller? Yeah, the cowboy. He's our main player.
Yeah, he's the baddest man in town. But he's
got a drinking problem a little bit. He loves
whiskey. Yeah, he's a good man, but he's flawed.
He's a hard drinker, hard partier. Yeah. And
he's also a heavy hitter. He is a very heavy
hitter. He can pack a punch. He can. He's a scrappy
fuck. That's right. He'll rip out your dick.
So we find him inside the saloon. Yep. Ripping
off a dick. Yeah, yeah. He's a dick ripper. Smoking
cigarettes. So wait, wait. We got to set this
scene. He'll rip your dick off. He's not above
it. Right. He's not even going to put his cigarette
down. He's just going to rage in there and fucking
rip it off. Yeah. It'll rip your dick right off.
Yeah. He grabs it like even if there's jeans,
he just grabs the fucking. Oh, yeah. The venom
comes with it. Yeah. He's so fucking aggressive
about it. Yeah. There's friction burns. Right.
It instantly cauterizes the wound. Yeah. So no
more dick. Never again will you have a dick.
Oh, that's his thing. I got it. That's his thing.
While he's giving his speech, you know, before
he beats the guy's ass. Can his name be Tango?
Sure. Okay. Yeah, absolutely. I'd be offended
if it wasn't. His whole thing is while he's giving
his speech, he's like a pickpocket. He's pulling
the zipper down and pulling the dick out for
when the moment comes. What's his speech? What
speech is he giving? He gives a speech before
he kicks someone's ass. Oh, right. Every time.
Yeah, yeah. And it always ends with, are you
sure you want to do this, son? No, no. With him,
it's, you sure you want to get your dick ripped
off by tango? You sure you want to tango with
tango? It takes two to tango. Yep. I've always
been known to be a bit of a dick ripper. My day.
Yep. I ripped a couple of dicks in my time. You
rip one feller's dick off. Something they hold
against you till the end of time. You know who
it is? Jesse Ventura. I've been known to rip
a cock off. He'll do it. He'll do it for cheap.
I've ripped the dick off. I don't know. I see
him as more of like a... He's in it. Yeah, he's
in it. I know he's in it. But I see him as like
a saloon owner. Yeah. Like he'll whoop some ass,
but he owns a saloon. And his name's Rick. Hank.
Hank. Yeah, he can play Hank. Yeah. I brought
my own tobacco to the set. Yeah. All right. All
right. Yeah. I don't want to get too far off
of Ventura. He'll rip your dick right off. Yeah.
He'll give you a speech. Don't fall for the speech.
Yeah. That's all I'm going to tell you. Yeah.
Your dick will be ripe for the picking. He does
it. Like, he does it. Yeah. He commits. He rips
the dick off. He takes them out like a pickpocket.
Yeah. Like a dick pocket. Yeah. He's a dick pocket.
Yeah. He's a private dick too. Yeah. No, no,
he's a cowboy. Right. But okay. So what is like,
what is the time? We're going to explain like
what the tumbleweed earth kind of looks like.
Right. I imagine it. I assume it's dark all the
time. Yes. I imagine it is like dark Western.
Yeah. Cause I see dunes where like where there
was streets, but there's electricity. There is
electricity from the sun. Okay. Yeah. Oh yeah.
That made that. Yeah. outside of the tumbleweed
yeah the the people have found a way they sent
some people up there oh no they're burning coal
oh they're burning coal yeah they're burning
coal all right yeah we're back to we're back
to coal yeah and the tumbleweed just keeps all
that all that good uh carbon monoxide in all
right All that good smoke. It's always smoky
outside. Yeah, all right, yeah. Yeah, always
smoky. And dusty. And dusty. And the ocean's
dried up. It's just a great big dust bowl inside
the tumbleweed earth, right? Yep, yep. It's a
big old dust bowl, but a little bit more modern.
All right. We've adapted. You know, people have
adapted. Right, right. And there's a Thunderdome.
You know what would be another funny thing, too,
is... One of the ways that people have adapted
is there's so much sand blowing around all the
time and dust. You go inside somebody's house,
you think it's one level, and then it just goes
down a bunch. It turns out the rest of the house
is just covered in sand. It's like fucking big
skyscraper houses. Oh, okay. I get it. Yeah.
It's just buried underneath. Didn't they do that
in Inception or some shit? No. Or was it AI,
artificial intelligence? Look, it's a bad idea.
Dude Ba? Look, it's a bad idea. Dude Ba? I just
thought about it. Oh, we could get Dude Ba on
this, though. Yeah. He's playing Gigolo Joe again.
Dude Ba. Okay. He's back. I don't... It's a shared
universe with AI, artificial intelligence by
Steven Spielberg. I haven't seen that. I only
saw... Oh, I saw it once. Stanley Kubrick. I
was a young man. Some of it holds up, but it's
mostly not good. Okay. But I think they did a
house thing in there. skyscraper houses all right
well fucking scrap it then fuck i'm just saying
i wasn't saying that that's scrap it we can do
it just scrap it we can do it scrap it i'm not
gonna every house is not just on stilts yeah
but they're tiny tiny stilts okay yeah yeah there's
one room cubes right and they're burning coal
yeah of course burning coal all day Yeah, the
factories are back. It is also the times of the
factories. Right. Again. Again. Yeah. All comes
back around. Okay. Factories, cowboys. We got
Tango. Mutants, maybe. Oh, we're going to get
to the mutants. We got Tango. Yep. We got Hank.
We got Hank, yep. Is Hank coming along? Yeah,
he's coming along. Yeah, he's coming. Yeah. Tango
and Hank. I'm going to take notes. Hold on. Yeah,
Tango and Hank. Me and my buddy Tango rummaging
the tumbleweed, searching for documents. I couldn't
get the last word out. I was going to say treasure.
This is my friend and business partner, Tango.
Tango and Hank. Tango and Hank. Sounds good.
It's iconic. Yeah. Who else is going to be on?
We know we need a mutant. Oh yeah, it's going
to be a mutant child. It's going to be a mutant
child named Stitz. Nope. Slug. Nope. Closer,
closer. Worm? No. Sorry, we need a backstory
for the mutant child and then we come up with
a name. He goes by Grits. Grits are... No, we
need a story for the mutant child. He's Gravy
Child. It'll come to us. He's Gravy Child. It'll
come to us. Why do you have to name him right
now? He's a gravy boy. Why don't we figure out
who to flesh out? He's giving gravy to me, and
I need to... Well, flesh out his character. Maybe
you meet him, and he starts out as a gravy boy.
That's what he's doing for work. He's a gravy
boy. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Shining shoes
and bringing gravy. Brewing gravy. Everybody
drinks gravy. Yes, exactly. Inside that tumbleweed
earth. Yeah. Yep, out of canteens. He's a gravy
boy. Yeah. That's not his name, though. No, he's
a gravy farmer. Right, because there's no more
farms because of the ocean. Right, so they farm
gravy. They farm gravy. Yeah. Okay, I like that.
They farm gravy. There's rivers of gravy. Yeah.
Naturally occurring. Yeah. But they're underground.
They got to mine them. Sure. So they got to do
a lot of fracking. Yeah. It's sci -fi. Yeah.
It's science fiction. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Maybe
not the rivers of gravy. That's too much. We've
got Meat Child. Maybe not enough. Meat Child?
That's the meat boy? I don't know. Rip Child.
What's the technology of the time? Was it steampunk?
No, we're running coal. We're rolling coal. Whatever
his name is, Jesse Ventura's character calls
him pungent. Because he smells pungent. Sleet.
I'm stuck on this. Well, I wanted to flesh out
what the character is. Why is he a mutant child?
He was mutated. Yeah. The children now, this
is the first generation that has no son whatsoever.
Right. And there was some sort of a radiation.
Right. So there have been human, you know, people
have adapted to better survive, to survive the
tumbleweed earth. Yeah. You know what I mean?
Yeah. Right. So, you know, our older characters.
They've evolved quickly. They have a different
set of skills, you know what I mean? Different
set of mutated freak features. Freak features,
right. But the children, first ones born with
no son whatsoever. Right, 100 years. That makes
sense. Yeah. From now on, they're going to look
like these mutants. Yeah. Which are kind of lumpier.
Yeah. Smaller. They look like Quasimodos. Yeah.
No. We need sloths. We need sloths. I imagine
like Smeagol's. Smeagol's? Yeah. Like, you know,
like a box on all fours and shit. Sure. Yeah.
Claws around. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. I like
that. Yeah. Like they're humanoid in stature.
Yeah, but they look kind of like that, but they
act like Donnie from the Wild Thornberries. There's
no words. They just go. And we have Flea do the
voice, you know? Wow. Okay. So they're really
fat. But this is a Western world. Huh? You said
they're fat? Fast. Oh, fast. Oh, yeah. Things
move a little slower around here. Right. Right?
Yeah. I guess they only do the Donnie thing when
they're in Berserker mode. Oh, I know what it
is. I got it. I got it. They only say one thing.
What's that? Yep. so that just like they'll be
around and you'll hear them like from a distance
just like every once in a while it's just yep
from down the street yeah yeah all right sure
and sometimes they get real worked up and they're
like yeah i like it and sometimes they're just
really like but they understand what you're saying
Oh, yeah, yeah. You missed it. They're like Chewbacca's
in that way. You missed it. What? Understand.
Dang. So that's Creature. He doesn't have a name
for now. Was it right? Thomas. The Thomas. The
Thomas. The Thomas. Yeah, the Thomas. And then
we need another one. Another character? Yeah.
We need a gal in there, right? Yeah. She's a
rodeo clown. Oh. I mean, she could also be a
cowboy. She's a gravy girl. She brews the gravy.
What if? What about this? Here's an idea. Goths.
The Goths. They're still around. They're a group.
Okay. Because the sun went away. Oh, yeah. Okay,
yeah. So the Goths came out. How about everyone's
a Goth except for the Cowboys? There's Cowboys
and Goths and aliens, maybe. No. No. Cowboys
and Goths. Yeah. Are they at odds? Do they coexist?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, they coexist, but it's like
Democrats and Republicans. You know what I mean?
Just a different set of... Ideals. Ideals. But
they can coexist. With the Goths. For now. Yeah.
Wow. Okay. I like that. So we got a Goth. Yeah.
Her name's Larry. She doesn't tell us her name.
She's like Ally Sheedy. Oh, okay. The Goth with
no name. That's perfect. But she's going to reveal
it later on. Yeah. Once we build trust. The Goth
with no name. She wears a poncho. It's like the
man with no name, but she... So the mutant childs
are Baby Yoda. Mm -hmm. That's where, that's,
you know. Mm -hmm. All right. Yeah, he's a mutant.
It's Baby Yoda. But he's cute. A cute mutant.
Oh, it's Grogu. Okay. It's fucking Grogu. I love
the goth with no name. I love that. Yeah, I do
too. On tumbleweed earth. I kind of like this
as like an animated thing, though. Yeah. Because
then we can make her like a fucking Tim Burton
character. It could be claymation. Yeah. That'd
be pretty sick. We'll get Ryan Barry to do it.
I don't know who that is. Oh, I do. He's my friend.
He works on Shape Islands. He does claymation.
He just did a McDonald's commercial for Christmas.
Very cool. Okay, he'll do it. Yeah, he's going
to do it. We'll sign him up. On the house. Yep.
All right, so what are the characters going to
get for their cryptic visions and their nighttime
dreams that bring them all together to the same
place to become a party that then must adventure
to find the oasis at the prime meridian? Yeah,
each night they share the same dream. Right,
right. Yeah, each night it's coordinates. It's
like each night is a different coordinate and
they write it down in their dream book. It's
common practice in this world. Dream books. Dream
books, right. Dream book. If you don't have a
dream, you're fined. Wow. That really makes you
think. No, let's not go there. Too expensive.
Too abstract. Yeah, they share a dream. They
have the same dream. Yeah, a shared dream. A
shared dream. And at the end of the dream is
a number. It's coordinates and a handprint. Yeah.
There's always a handprint. Yeah. I dreamed of
a handprint. Flashes of geography when there
was a sun. Right. Oh, my goodness, the oasis.
It's just like the one hole in the tumbleweed.
Yeah. That just shines down. Yeah. And then there's
like a Christ figure. Yeah. Who emerges. Got
to fight him. It doesn't emerge. It just kind
of appears in the background. It's not clear.
He's the next Jesus Christ, though. Yeah, pretty
much. He's going to say, I did this. This is
my hole in the tumbleweed. Maybe. In the dream.
And we're going to have to whoop him in the ass.
That's where we get to, right? That's where we're
heading? That's where we're going. Right. That's
the adventure. Yeah, this is part one. Yeah.
Of a series. Obviously, the coordinates lead
to the prime meridian. Yeah. Right. And they
travel by vine. They swing like Tarzans. Yeah.
Yeah, we got Tarzans, too. They're all Tarzans.
They're all Tarzans. Yeah, that's part of the
evolution. that's another branch like some people
evolved into tarzan so there's tarzans goths
and cowboys that's right and mutant children
yeah wow we got a nice world built here yeah
we could make an rpg We should. Yeah. I'd play
it. We can make it on Unreal Engine. I was going
to wonder. I was wondering last time, how the
fuck do you even know what that is? Huh? How
do you know about Unreal Engine 5 specifically?
So what's basically happening here is you're
underestimating me. Yeah. Yeah. Look, I know
about things, okay? I know. Look, I know. I just
didn't know you knew about that thing. And that
just surprised me. I know about it. I have a
customer who is making a game on Unreal Engine,
and he just told me about it. What kind of game
is he making? I don't know. I don't play games.
No, I was. I was. I can't remember the name of
the game that he compared it to, but it's like
one of those big open world map things. He was
just doing it for fun, fucking around. It was
cool, though. He sent me some stuff. It's wild.
Do you think he'll make the... Tumbleweed Earth
game. And we'll see after his passion project's
done, you know? No, his passion project is the
Tumbleweed Earth game. No, it's not. Yeah. No.
No, it is. No. They came to him in a dream. No,
no, no, no, no. Yeah, we'll make it. We'll make
it on Unreal Engine 5. Yeah. 6. Let's do 6. Be
the first ones to do 6. Nope. So, we got a pretty
good story going. Yeah. So, this is sort of,
the quest yeah so they meet up at the first coordinate
and they go on a quest they decide because they
have another dream that says another set of coordinates
and one of them's like that's the prime meridian
well i mean we're gonna we're gonna get them
there first we're gonna get them together you
know what i mean right so what we do i don't
know we we get a who i mean who would be the
so the goth works at a graveyard digging graves
and okay so yeah the god the The goth with no
name. So the goth is the Snoopy. Yes. And the
mean child is the Woodstock. Yes, yes. Perfect.
And they dig graves. They dig graves. That's
what they do. And they love it. Yes. And they
clean stones. That's excellent. And then. Hank
is the saloon owner. Yeah, he's the bartender
where... He's honest. Yeah. Well, he's the bartender
where fucking... Tango? Tango lives. He lives
there. Tango lives above the bar? Yeah, he's
going to cot upstairs. Yep, that's all he needs.
He owns it. That's all he needs. And if you step
anywhere near his bedroom door, he'll rip your
dick right off. That's right, that's right. He
didn't buy it. He's going to rip your dick off.
He didn't purchase it. He acquired it. He had
a dick ripping contest. He won his house in a
dick ripping contest. Now that's the real Hunger
Games. That's the story there. That's the Hunger
Games right there. The dick ripping contest could
be a whole spinoff. Right. It's a whole, you
know. Oh, then we get the fucking dick rip gladiator.
The goth with no name and the dick rip gladiator
are very marketable. Yeah. And then Tango. The
dick ripping gladiator. tango is the dick ripping
gladiator no he's a cowboy and hank this is another
story that we're not we're gonna get to the prime
meridian yeah we gotta get him to the prime meridian
it's he's like indiana jones tango yeah he's
our indiana jones that's right that's right except
way better because they'll rip your dick off
right um he'll whip your dick off too he ain't
afraid of snake he ain't afraid of snake No,
no, no. He'll whip it right off. His belt is
a live rattlesnake. And he'll whip you with it,
and it will take your dick clean off. Yeah. Wow.
If it's animated, we can do that. He can use
a fucking snake as a whip. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Come on. That's what he says. Yeah. It's all
right. Yeah. So how do they all come together?
It's got to be at the saloon. What brings the
goth and the... The goth can go to the saloon
sometimes to get spirits. Okay. Oh, or maybe
it's haunted. The saloon is haunted. Oh, no.
This is Western. It's not haunt. It's not ghost.
There are a lot of haunted Westerns. No, it's
not ghost. It's not ghost. Okay, no ghost. It's
too far. What the fuck are you... This is too
busy, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, well,
where do they meet? Is the Thomas, is the goth
friends with the Thomas? The Thomas is the Woodstock.
That's the boy. That's the mutant boy. Right.
Do they like live together? Yeah. Does the goth
live with the Thomas? Yeah. Brother, you find
out later they might be related. Oh, okay. Yeah.
So it's like an Addams Family dynamic. Kinda.
Okay. But I think of the mutant boy more as a
Woodsock. Woodsock, yeah. He's more of a bird
type. He's a bird man. He's not a bird. No, he's
a bird man. No, no. He's a Tony Hawk. Yeah, I
don't know. Okay. So maybe the Thomas. could
get the goth to the bar for summer to the saloon
i mean they're all they're all having the shared
dreams right right yeah the dream could show
the saloon one of the coordinates or something
yeah the first coordinates of the saloon maybe
well no that wouldn't work because the coordinates
in the end are yeah it doesn't work well they
get new coordinates they keep dreaming they use
the first one and then they have another dream
and it tells them where the next one is Yeah,
oh yeah, okay, so they have the same dream until
they meet, and then they all have a different
shared dream. Right, exactly. There it is. Yeah.
It's not busy at all. No, no problem. No, it's
perfect. Yeah, that's a good start. That's good.
Yeah. I'd watch it. Sure. I'd watch the shit
out of Tumbleweed Earth. Yeah. There's a lot
more that can be done with it. I'd draw it up.
Everybody drinks gravy is my favorite part. Yeah.
That's their sustenance. I like that. I really
love that. There's something so good about a
dick ripper. Yeah. Just somebody who rips dicks.
Drinking fucking, yeah. Drinking gravy and ripping
dicks. And I'm all out of gravy. Oh, man. No,
he just does both for the love of the game. Yeah,
yeah. He likes to do them both at the same time
if he can. Yeah, he also has a snake whip. Yeah.
There's a goth. Yeah. And there's a... Who doesn't
speak. Right. She's like an Ally Sheedy. Yeah.
She doesn't have a name, but she does wear a
poncho like the man with no name. Like a Clint
Eastwood. It's a shawl. Okay. But it's cut the
same way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it evokes the
image of the poncho. But it's technically a shawl.
Yeah. Shawl. Shawl. Wow. She might have cat eyes
too. What? What does that mean? The eyes of a
cat. What? Why not? You know? Why not? Yeah,
if it's Tim Burton kind of thing. It's claymation.
Yeah. So, the eye of a cat and the paw of a monkey.
Right. Yeah, yeah. That's Tumbleweed Earth. Kinda.
That's the beginnings. Tumbleweed awakening.
I like it. Yeah, me too. We're world building
over here. So, that's it. That's all we got.
You got anything else? Yeah. You want to talk
some shit? Yeah. Go ahead. What am I fired up
about? I'm fired up about a couple things, but
I don't want to talk about those things, you
know? I'll say this, all right? If you're coming
to get a haircut, you got to wash your hair first,
all right? If you can, if it's a possibility.
If you're going to get a haircut, don't. It's
always a possibility if you have hair. The three
days before, you know? Three days before? Yeah.
Don't go three days without showering before.
Don't do that ever. I know. Let alone when you're
going to. I get that. We get that sometimes.
Greasy. You got to wash. You got to wash yourself.
You got to wash it. You don't have to shampoo
it, but you know, get it wet a little bit. Don't
flatten it with that hat. Yeah. That's what I'm
saying. I always just shampoo it. Yeah? Yeah,
because otherwise it gets greasy and I hate it
and it sticks. It's sticky. It gives you zits.
Fuck that. Not me. Not me. I'm going to get a
flat top. Yeah? Yeah, I want to look like Surfer
Sting. You going to be like Eraserhead? No. No,
not like that. That's too tall. I can't do that.
That's too much hair. Yeah. So that's it. Thanks
for listening to the podcast, everybody. Yep.
If you got something to say, hit us up on Instagram.
Yeah, if you got the stones. Yeah, what is it?
If you got the grit. It's Cool Parents Worldwide.
Also, follow us on TikTok, which is... TikTok,
you mean? Is that what it is? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
What is it? Oh, is it cool underscore parents?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah. TikTok. TikTok. And... Say
it like a grown man, you know? Give us... TikTok.
Give us... Not like a fucking baby. TikTok? Yeah.
What's our website? Coolparents .co. And finally,
leave us a rating and a review. Yeah. If you
dare. If you wish. If you please. No, just do
it. If you got this fucking stones. Pretty please,
do it. Give us a low rating. I don't care what
you do. Just give us a... It's 4 .5 right now
on Spotify. I want it lower. All right? Yeah.
Okay. Let us know what you think, too. Let it
rip. Just be honest. I'd rather you be honest
than tell me I'm doing something good when I'm
not doing something good. There's a good chance
I'll rip your dick off, though. This is a possibility.
Yeah. So also if you want to. I was a scuba diver
and I was a dick ripper in the U .S. Navy. So
our Patreon is how you can support us if you
want even more content too. Bunch of shit on
there. It's only $3. Easy. Three bucks. Or five.
Or five if you nasty. sometimes five that's patreon
.com slash cool parents appreciate you uh and
we'll see you next next time yeah but look don't
don't feel like you have to because i don't need
your fucking charity all right right you know
yeah i don't need it no i know nobody's questioning
that but i wouldn't i wouldn't say you got nothing
to prove i wouldn't say no i know if you wanted
to give it to me you know what i mean yeah sometimes
it goes to good things like food Her number two
pencils. I forgot what the fuck we're talking
about, to be honest. The Patreon money. Oh, yeah.
Right. Yeah. I'm saying I don't need your charity,
but I like it. Yeah, it does help. Yeah. Helps
me. Mm -hmm. So thanks for listening to the Cool
Parents Podcast. I'm Curtis Charles. I'm Meatball
Boy. Meatball Boy. Meatball. Meatball. Busted
Meatball. FLEP THE WORLD!