WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.339 You are now listening to Cryptid Cocktail Party 00:00:40.310 --> 00:00:42.649 Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode 00:00:42.649 --> 00:00:44.109 of Crypto Cocktail, part of your show where we 00:00:44.109 --> 00:00:45.810 have a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a 00:00:45.810 --> 00:00:47.810 dive into the unknown. I'm your host Dave, joined 00:00:47.810 --> 00:00:50.329 as always by my wonderful co -host Sarge. How's 00:00:50.329 --> 00:00:54.369 it going Sarge? Oh man, I'm fucking fired up 00:00:54.369 --> 00:00:56.350 buddy. You sound fired up. It's been one hell 00:00:56.350 --> 00:01:00.770 of a week. Yeah? Yeah. We bombed Iran, which 00:01:00.770 --> 00:01:04.129 is not great. However, they called it Operation 00:01:04.129 --> 00:01:07.170 Midnight Hammer, which incidentally is the name 00:01:07.170 --> 00:01:13.859 of my erotic novel. Found a loophole, Dave. I 00:01:13.859 --> 00:01:21.980 found a loophole. I'm not going to lie. The name 00:01:21.980 --> 00:01:24.519 of my erotic novel is way better than the name 00:01:24.519 --> 00:01:28.980 of my sex tape. I think that is so much funnier. 00:01:29.500 --> 00:01:32.280 Even if you just said erotic fan fiction, that's 00:01:32.280 --> 00:01:39.989 just as good. But no, I mean, we had two weekends 00:01:39.989 --> 00:01:43.250 of pride bookending my week of shit. So I actually 00:01:43.250 --> 00:01:47.689 I did the Boston Pride March last week with my 00:01:47.689 --> 00:01:50.930 with my company. And this week, a buddy from 00:01:50.930 --> 00:01:52.870 Narragansett met up with me. I was down at the 00:01:52.870 --> 00:01:56.250 brewery and then we went to pride in matching. 00:01:57.370 --> 00:02:00.109 Bigfoot outfits and Bigfoot was all rainbow colored 00:02:00.109 --> 00:02:02.989 and neither one of us thought for a second that 00:02:02.989 --> 00:02:05.689 anyone would consider us a gay couple. That was 00:02:05.689 --> 00:02:08.389 my first thought when I saw the picture. I even 00:02:08.389 --> 00:02:10.789 showed it to my wife and I was like, ooh, these 00:02:10.789 --> 00:02:13.569 two look like two bears that are madly in love. 00:02:13.810 --> 00:02:17.150 There's no way around it. There was one very 00:02:17.150 --> 00:02:20.750 tall man in cowboy boots, tiny, tiny shorts and 00:02:20.750 --> 00:02:23.490 a cowboy hat and he said, oh, you're matching. 00:02:23.569 --> 00:02:31.159 You two have been together a long time. I cannot 00:02:31.159 --> 00:02:32.780 wait to post. I'm posting that photo, by the 00:02:32.780 --> 00:02:34.840 way. I hope you don't mind. I'm fine with it. 00:02:34.860 --> 00:02:37.419 Love is love, you guys. Cam is a beautiful man. 00:02:37.560 --> 00:02:45.300 I would be honored. But to those of you who are 00:02:45.300 --> 00:02:48.340 listening to the show right now who were at Pride, 00:02:48.699 --> 00:02:52.939 thank you for having such an amazing event. Pride 00:02:52.939 --> 00:02:56.009 in Providence. I hate to say it because I'm from 00:02:56.009 --> 00:02:58.090 boston but pride and providence is so much more 00:02:58.090 --> 00:03:00.949 fun i can imagine way more people the parade 00:03:00.949 --> 00:03:03.969 is a little bit shorter which is actually i think 00:03:03.969 --> 00:03:06.229 a good thing because the pride parade in boston 00:03:06.229 --> 00:03:10.090 had 250 floats in it oh my god i mean that's 00:03:10.090 --> 00:03:16.969 250 like groups um and so i was at the starting 00:03:16.969 --> 00:03:21.479 line And we waited two hours before we even started 00:03:21.479 --> 00:03:24.620 moving because the floats took so long to actually 00:03:24.620 --> 00:03:27.280 get to the finish line. I would get bored. So 00:03:27.280 --> 00:03:29.580 I would get bored so fast. Oh yeah. I was like 00:03:29.580 --> 00:03:32.020 reading the news. Yeah. My daughter's yelling 00:03:32.020 --> 00:03:33.919 at me cause she just wants to start marching, 00:03:34.240 --> 00:03:37.099 you know? Anyway, it was a really good time though. 00:03:37.560 --> 00:03:39.719 Providence is amazing. It's a beautiful city. 00:03:40.319 --> 00:03:44.080 I think should, should deserve the name gayest 00:03:44.080 --> 00:03:48.530 city in America. Just for how, fucking cool their 00:03:48.530 --> 00:03:51.909 pride is it's amazing anyway uh so i'm super 00:03:51.909 --> 00:03:55.990 pumped up about that uh gave out tons of cryptid 00:03:55.990 --> 00:03:59.409 cocktail party stickers uh i was very excited 00:03:59.409 --> 00:04:01.969 to have those dave you're gonna get a whole bunch 00:04:01.969 --> 00:04:04.969 of them soon hell yeah and they were so popular 00:04:04.969 --> 00:04:09.520 we're actually gonna make more And on some of 00:04:09.520 --> 00:04:10.879 them, we're actually going to put the podcast 00:04:10.879 --> 00:04:13.319 on it, the podcast name, so that people know 00:04:13.319 --> 00:04:15.199 where to look. I thought about that when Cam 00:04:15.199 --> 00:04:17.199 asked me for the artwork, and I was like, should 00:04:17.199 --> 00:04:19.980 I put like a Spotify and Apple link, like something, 00:04:20.060 --> 00:04:22.920 or like figure out a way to put like a QR code 00:04:22.920 --> 00:04:25.339 on the back or something? Yeah, that's what I 00:04:25.339 --> 00:04:28.180 was thinking too, but oh well. But I was at work, 00:04:28.199 --> 00:04:29.500 and I was like, I'm not going to figure that 00:04:29.500 --> 00:04:31.980 out. And when I say that's what I was thinking 00:04:31.980 --> 00:04:33.879 too, I don't mean that I was thinking that beforehand. 00:04:34.000 --> 00:04:36.160 It was while we were handing them out. I'm like, 00:04:36.240 --> 00:04:39.199 oh yeah, there's no reason for anyone to follow 00:04:39.199 --> 00:04:41.720 the podcast based on this. But we met some cool 00:04:41.720 --> 00:04:45.060 skateboarder kids and they loved them. So overall, 00:04:45.279 --> 00:04:50.620 amazing night, good times. And to the lady that 00:04:50.620 --> 00:04:52.860 wished me a happy gay pride, you don't have to 00:04:52.860 --> 00:04:55.079 say the gay part. We all know. We got out of 00:04:55.079 --> 00:04:58.560 the Uber in our matching outfits with rainbow 00:04:58.560 --> 00:05:02.110 headbands. And this obvious straight woman in 00:05:02.110 --> 00:05:04.170 a cowboy hat looked at the both of us and said, 00:05:04.290 --> 00:05:09.149 happy gay pride. And I was like, gay pride. It's 00:05:09.149 --> 00:05:14.089 good to be specific. Okay. Yeah. Cause it would 00:05:14.089 --> 00:05:16.910 have been alarming if I got out and she said, 00:05:16.970 --> 00:05:19.449 happy white pride. Yeah. So it's good to be uncomfortable 00:05:19.449 --> 00:05:21.709 with that. Yeah, that's true. Cause just saying 00:05:21.709 --> 00:05:24.410 pride, even though we all know what it is, it's 00:05:24.410 --> 00:05:28.790 pretty ambiguous. It could be problematic depending 00:05:28.790 --> 00:05:31.290 on who's saying it. Could be anything. Now, the 00:05:31.290 --> 00:05:33.370 fact that she was wearing a rainbow cowboy hat 00:05:33.370 --> 00:05:35.509 kind of probably would have given what you just 00:05:35.509 --> 00:05:39.649 said. But at the same time, who knows? In today's 00:05:39.649 --> 00:05:42.310 climate. I want to know. So there was a guy standing 00:05:42.310 --> 00:05:46.870 in front of us at the parade wearing a thin blue 00:05:46.870 --> 00:05:51.069 line t -shirt. Okay. And in the blue line, it 00:05:51.069 --> 00:05:53.129 said, we the people. And I was thinking to myself. 00:05:54.480 --> 00:05:58.740 What the fuck are you doing here? How are you 00:05:58.740 --> 00:06:03.980 still alive? Cops can be gay. I mean, I don't 00:06:03.980 --> 00:06:05.620 think a gay cop is going to wear a thin blue 00:06:05.620 --> 00:06:08.019 line shirt. I'm pretty confident that this gentleman 00:06:08.019 --> 00:06:11.600 just was wildly unaware of what he was doing. 00:06:11.839 --> 00:06:16.079 Like he was probably like on vacation. He's hanging 00:06:16.079 --> 00:06:19.629 out in Providence and he's like. Oh, all these 00:06:19.629 --> 00:06:22.350 really snazzy dresses are watching these people 00:06:22.350 --> 00:06:26.310 dance by. I wonder what's going on. I mean, I 00:06:26.310 --> 00:06:30.629 don't know. That is a bold fashion choice. Yeah, 00:06:30.670 --> 00:06:34.550 at a Pride parade in 2025. Yeah, that's pretty 00:06:34.550 --> 00:06:37.490 good. All right. Sorry to take up so much time 00:06:37.490 --> 00:06:38.829 talking about it. It was just such an amazing 00:06:38.829 --> 00:06:40.709 night, and I wanted to thank all the people who 00:06:40.709 --> 00:06:44.949 followed us and jumped on to be a part of our 00:06:44.949 --> 00:06:47.579 podcast. Hopefully we don't offend you. I don't 00:06:47.579 --> 00:06:51.439 think we will. We might. Possibly. Not this episode, 00:06:51.459 --> 00:06:55.439 anyways. Future episodes. It's a good chance. 00:06:55.540 --> 00:06:58.639 Or two episodes back, if you're listening. Are 00:06:58.639 --> 00:07:04.319 we talking about the sailors? It's really where 00:07:04.319 --> 00:07:06.939 you start listening that could be problematic 00:07:06.939 --> 00:07:09.980 for some of you. You'll know why I'm not allowed 00:07:09.980 --> 00:07:11.920 to say name of my sex tape anymore, at least. 00:07:12.350 --> 00:07:15.449 Yeah, but dude, fucking the name of my erotic 00:07:15.449 --> 00:07:20.509 novel is so good. I'm going to use it sparingly, 00:07:20.509 --> 00:07:23.009 but it's my loophole. Oh, yeah, because I think 00:07:23.009 --> 00:07:27.670 that's the name of my erotic novel and or erotic 00:07:27.670 --> 00:07:29.389 fan fiction. That's one of those ones where you 00:07:29.389 --> 00:07:31.550 have to use it at the right time, I feel like. 00:07:31.610 --> 00:07:34.110 Yeah, it has to be perfect. Yeah, or else it 00:07:34.110 --> 00:07:36.850 just loses that fucking punch. All right, sorry. 00:07:38.639 --> 00:07:40.660 Operation Midnight Hammer. Are you ready to dive 00:07:40.660 --> 00:07:43.920 into today's episode? I am so ready. This is 00:07:43.920 --> 00:07:46.060 a nightmare. I kind of got ahead of myself while 00:07:46.060 --> 00:07:49.319 riding it, and I buried the lead until the very 00:07:49.319 --> 00:07:52.920 end. You got over your skis, as they say. I don't 00:07:52.920 --> 00:07:54.279 know what that means. I don't think that's a 00:07:54.279 --> 00:07:56.699 real sign. Apparently, it means that you bit 00:07:56.699 --> 00:07:59.939 off more than you could chew, and other analogies 00:07:59.939 --> 00:08:04.079 and euphemisms as well. Okay. Is it like a gen... 00:08:04.889 --> 00:08:07.649 No, weirdly enough, it's an old people thing. 00:08:07.730 --> 00:08:10.110 You hear it on the news all the time. Donald 00:08:10.110 --> 00:08:15.350 Trump is over his skis on this. Oh, like skis? 00:08:15.689 --> 00:08:18.629 Like S -K -I? Yeah, like when you're skiing down 00:08:18.629 --> 00:08:24.110 a hill. Oh. I thought it was S -K -E -E -Z. Like 00:08:24.110 --> 00:08:28.610 a fucking... Oh, skis. I mean, I think it's an 00:08:28.610 --> 00:08:31.470 appropriate... way to refer to donald trump because 00:08:31.470 --> 00:08:33.529 he is always leaning forward like he just went 00:08:33.529 --> 00:08:35.509 off a ski jump that's actually pretty good all 00:08:35.509 --> 00:08:38.230 right right yeah we're eight minutes in let's 00:08:38.230 --> 00:08:41.590 fucking let's start rolling okay all right so 00:08:41.590 --> 00:08:43.490 today starts we're gonna be heading to glasgow 00:08:43.490 --> 00:08:46.129 glas i should probably figure people get weird 00:08:46.129 --> 00:08:49.110 about pronunciations is it glasgow glasgow scotland 00:08:49.110 --> 00:08:52.210 i think it's Glasgow. Glasgow. All right, so 00:08:52.210 --> 00:08:53.490 today we're going to be heading to Glasgow, Scotland, 00:08:53.610 --> 00:08:55.269 and if anyone has a problem with the way I'm 00:08:55.269 --> 00:08:56.950 pronouncing it, please write me a strongly worded 00:08:56.950 --> 00:09:00.009 email at crypticcocktail at gmail .com. Now, 00:09:00.070 --> 00:09:02.509 besides Highlander, Groundskeeper Willie, and 00:09:02.509 --> 00:09:04.769 whiskey, what do you know about Scotland, or 00:09:04.769 --> 00:09:09.490 I guess Glasgow in general? Well, I know about 00:09:09.490 --> 00:09:13.350 Scotland that they love fried food. Who doesn't? 00:09:13.350 --> 00:09:16.259 Scotch eggs are delicious. yeah i mean everything 00:09:16.259 --> 00:09:18.720 scottish is kind of cool you know what i mean 00:09:18.720 --> 00:09:21.419 um i know that the movie braveheart was wildly 00:09:21.419 --> 00:09:25.019 inaccurate uh i know that bagpipes didn't originate 00:09:25.019 --> 00:09:29.740 there but they definitely uh claimed them so 00:09:29.740 --> 00:09:31.639 that's good even if they didn't originate there 00:09:31.639 --> 00:09:34.379 they definitely perfected it they did and honestly 00:09:34.379 --> 00:09:37.759 if you play bagpipes at a funeral i don't even 00:09:37.759 --> 00:09:42.090 if i hate you i'm gonna cry so It's true. Amazing 00:09:42.090 --> 00:09:44.710 Grace on bagpipes. I'm done. It's game over for 00:09:44.710 --> 00:09:50.370 me. And just, you know, overall, very funny people. 00:09:50.490 --> 00:09:52.029 The movie Trainspotting is fucking phenomenal. 00:09:52.529 --> 00:09:55.590 Trainspotting is so good. Yeah. I can't remember 00:09:55.590 --> 00:09:57.529 the name of the author, but he's written a couple 00:09:57.529 --> 00:09:59.190 of books that I've read and I really liked them 00:09:59.190 --> 00:10:02.730 all. Okay. So that's all you know? Yeah. North 00:10:02.730 --> 00:10:07.129 of England. Freedom. All right. Well, today we 00:10:07.129 --> 00:10:09.299 face paint. Something like that. Well, today 00:10:09.299 --> 00:10:10.940 we're going to be heading back in time to Glasgow 00:10:10.940 --> 00:10:13.860 in the 70s. And to paint a picture of what the 00:10:13.860 --> 00:10:16.200 city was like during this time, well, back then 00:10:16.200 --> 00:10:19.419 it was pretty rough. It was soaked in booze and 00:10:19.419 --> 00:10:21.019 full of people who either wanted to fight you 00:10:21.019 --> 00:10:23.419 or drink with you more often than not. It was 00:10:23.419 --> 00:10:27.500 usually both. Now, the city back then was split 00:10:27.500 --> 00:10:30.960 up by class, religion, and old grudges nobody 00:10:30.960 --> 00:10:33.980 ever really let go of. Some neighborhoods had 00:10:33.980 --> 00:10:36.779 beautiful old homes, while others were all crumbling 00:10:36.779 --> 00:10:39.679 flats. boarded up buildings and it's those kinds 00:10:39.679 --> 00:10:42.519 of places where stories tend to originate and 00:10:42.519 --> 00:10:44.679 fester and one of those stories and the topic 00:10:44.679 --> 00:10:47.820 of today's episode is about a man or maybe something 00:10:47.820 --> 00:10:52.960 pretending to be a man bald skeletal twitching 00:10:52.960 --> 00:10:55.159 and grinning like his face is being peeled off 00:10:55.159 --> 00:10:57.659 in slow motion he would show up in the dead at 00:10:57.659 --> 00:11:00.360 night sometimes under a street lamp and other 00:11:00.360 --> 00:11:03.200 times at the foot of your bed contorted leering 00:11:03.200 --> 00:11:07.740 and then poof just gone so Today, Sarge, we are 00:11:07.740 --> 00:11:10.100 going to be covering the deeply unsettling legend 00:11:10.100 --> 00:11:12.639 of the Gurning Man of Glasgow. Are you familiar 00:11:12.639 --> 00:11:15.460 with this at all? No, but it sounds like a horror 00:11:15.460 --> 00:11:17.620 movie I want to watch really bad that's going 00:11:17.620 --> 00:11:19.759 to get screwed up by the guy who did the Conjuring 00:11:19.759 --> 00:11:23.919 franchise. Well, first of all, the reason why 00:11:23.919 --> 00:11:25.919 the Conjuring franchise got screwed up is because 00:11:25.919 --> 00:11:31.399 the titular characters were, in real life, frauds 00:11:31.399 --> 00:11:33.740 and terrible people. That's where my problem 00:11:33.740 --> 00:11:35.600 was. Yeah, the worst kind of people. Yeah, that's 00:11:35.600 --> 00:11:38.759 true. Yeah, so lucky for us, Zach Baggins came 00:11:38.759 --> 00:11:44.299 along and fixed that problem right away. Too 00:11:44.299 --> 00:11:46.340 bad Annabelle's missing. Did they ever find Annabelle? 00:11:46.460 --> 00:11:48.139 You heard that Annabelle the doll went missing, 00:11:48.200 --> 00:11:50.879 right? No, I didn't know it went missing. How 00:11:50.879 --> 00:11:53.259 do you fucking lose a haunted doll? Because it's 00:11:53.259 --> 00:11:55.639 fucking haunted, man. Let me see if I got this 00:11:55.639 --> 00:11:57.259 straight. This is a fucking doll. When you try 00:11:57.259 --> 00:11:58.980 to throw it in the trash, it shows up back in 00:11:58.980 --> 00:12:01.080 your house. Yet somehow they lost it. Well, they 00:12:01.080 --> 00:12:05.399 brought it on tour. Morons. These people are 00:12:05.399 --> 00:12:08.519 morons. Yeah, they brought it on tour and then 00:12:08.519 --> 00:12:10.379 I can't remember where it was. Thankfully, it 00:12:10.379 --> 00:12:12.700 wasn't Philly. Philly has an affinity for just 00:12:12.700 --> 00:12:18.700 ruining things that are on tour. But yeah, it's 00:12:18.700 --> 00:12:21.039 just gone. I think they found it. I never followed 00:12:21.039 --> 00:12:22.980 up with it because in my mind, it's way funnier 00:12:22.980 --> 00:12:25.320 to believe that it's just out there causing fucking 00:12:25.320 --> 00:12:30.070 chaos. Just a raggedy and I'll just getting in 00:12:30.070 --> 00:12:32.889 a Walmart behind a stack of paper towels. Yeah. 00:12:32.990 --> 00:12:34.649 I mean, I like to think of it as I think like 00:12:34.649 --> 00:12:36.590 to think it's on Bourbon street and fucking new 00:12:36.590 --> 00:12:38.529 Orleans, just getting fucking white girl wasted 00:12:38.529 --> 00:12:41.590 shit face. Yeah. Dude, it's been in a fucking, 00:12:41.629 --> 00:12:44.529 I'll curse you. I'll curse you right now. I'm 00:12:44.529 --> 00:12:49.529 not afraid. I'm not afraid of you. All right. 00:12:49.529 --> 00:12:52.570 So back to the gurning man. Um, Oh, for anyone 00:12:52.570 --> 00:12:56.399 knows what it's called, the gurning man. I had 00:12:56.399 --> 00:12:58.240 to figure out what gurning means because I thought 00:12:58.240 --> 00:13:02.000 maybe they just misspelt grinning at first. But 00:13:02.000 --> 00:13:04.340 apparently to gurn is to make like a really contorted 00:13:04.340 --> 00:13:07.820 gross face. So it's the gurning man, which makes 00:13:07.820 --> 00:13:10.519 the name way worse. It's also kind of like a 00:13:10.519 --> 00:13:12.240 good way to describe the face you make when you 00:13:12.240 --> 00:13:16.460 orgasm. Sarge? It's like a better one than vinegar 00:13:16.460 --> 00:13:20.820 strokes. Yeah, you're going to hold on to that 00:13:20.820 --> 00:13:26.350 thought. Oh, no. So the first known encounter 00:13:26.350 --> 00:13:28.909 with the Gurney Man, or at least the first one 00:13:28.909 --> 00:13:30.730 ever really talked about, happened in the spring 00:13:30.730 --> 00:13:34.230 of 1976 in the Cross Hill neighborhood of Glasgow's 00:13:34.230 --> 00:13:38.370 South Side. It was around midnight. Two teenage 00:13:38.370 --> 00:13:40.590 girls were walking home from a party when they 00:13:40.590 --> 00:13:42.590 spotted something up ahead underneath the street 00:13:42.590 --> 00:13:44.889 lamp. Now, at first, they thought it was just 00:13:44.889 --> 00:13:47.049 a guy standing there. He seemed a little twitchy, 00:13:47.049 --> 00:13:48.799 a little weird. But I feel like that's kind of 00:13:48.799 --> 00:13:50.980 expected for a Scotsman standing under a street 00:13:50.980 --> 00:13:52.919 lamp at midnight. You know what I mean? Yeah. 00:13:53.039 --> 00:13:55.600 I did see train spotting, so I agree with you. 00:13:55.679 --> 00:13:57.860 Yeah. Now, it wasn't until they got a bit closer 00:13:57.860 --> 00:14:00.220 that some of the details about this man started 00:14:00.220 --> 00:14:03.759 becoming clear. And none of them were good. He 00:14:03.759 --> 00:14:07.659 was completely bald and thin as hell. Like, unnervingly 00:14:07.659 --> 00:14:09.860 thin. Like, it's not great. It looked like his 00:14:09.860 --> 00:14:11.779 bones were trying to escape from his skin. Like, 00:14:11.779 --> 00:14:15.120 that's how... skinny he was he was wearing what 00:14:15.120 --> 00:14:18.360 one of them described as a black leotard which 00:14:18.360 --> 00:14:23.200 all right hold on so this description it only 00:14:23.200 --> 00:14:24.960 gets worse from here but just up to this point 00:14:24.960 --> 00:14:27.000 i feel like this is probably the last thing that 00:14:27.000 --> 00:14:28.840 i would want to see if i was like a drunk teenage 00:14:28.840 --> 00:14:32.000 girl walking home at night like i feel like i 00:14:32.000 --> 00:14:34.179 kind of saw a guy who looked like this last night 00:14:34.179 --> 00:14:39.120 at pride a lot of leotards down there yeah but 00:14:39.120 --> 00:14:41.399 i feel like at night midnight You're a teenage 00:14:41.399 --> 00:14:43.740 girl with your friend walking home. This is not 00:14:43.740 --> 00:14:46.259 a great sight to see. Dude, I'm a fucking grown 00:14:46.259 --> 00:14:48.100 -ass man, and I would run in the other direction. 00:14:48.259 --> 00:14:50.279 Yeah. Now, the worst part is that he wasn't just 00:14:50.279 --> 00:14:53.679 standing there. He was moving all weird. He was 00:14:53.679 --> 00:14:56.279 fidgeting, twitching. Like, herky -jerky. Not 00:14:56.279 --> 00:14:57.919 really. It was almost like dancing, but, like, 00:14:57.940 --> 00:15:00.320 twitchy. Like, I got to pee real bad, kind of. 00:15:01.159 --> 00:15:04.669 You know what I mean? Okay, yeah. Yeah, and accompanied 00:15:04.669 --> 00:15:07.929 with the movements were the sounds that he was 00:15:07.929 --> 00:15:10.690 making. It was described as a mix between grunting, 00:15:10.730 --> 00:15:13.590 snorting, and choking, kind of like a pug, but 00:15:13.590 --> 00:15:16.409 like if a pug was a sex pest, kind of. Oh, so 00:15:16.409 --> 00:15:18.169 he's masturbating. He was masturbating. Okay, 00:15:18.250 --> 00:15:20.610 that makes a lot more sense. Now the twitching 00:15:20.610 --> 00:15:22.870 makes a lot of sense. But what really stuck out 00:15:22.870 --> 00:15:25.799 to these poor girls was his face. They said it 00:15:25.799 --> 00:15:28.200 was twisted into this just like horrible pain 00:15:28.200 --> 00:15:30.740 smile and not like a happy smile or even like 00:15:30.740 --> 00:15:33.480 an injured cold kind of smile. It was more like 00:15:33.480 --> 00:15:36.360 he was trying to smile through a stroke. Yeah, 00:15:36.559 --> 00:15:39.320 like a Melania Trump smile. Just too big, too 00:15:39.320 --> 00:15:43.620 wide, not human. Yeah. Now, one of the girls, 00:15:43.700 --> 00:15:45.899 either the braver or the drunker of the two, 00:15:46.059 --> 00:15:49.259 called out to him and asked if he was all right. 00:15:50.159 --> 00:15:52.259 He didn't say anything. He didn't even blink. 00:15:53.019 --> 00:15:56.879 He just screamed this high -pitched animal shriek. 00:16:02.100 --> 00:16:05.320 He screamed this high -pitched animal shriek 00:16:05.320 --> 00:16:08.100 and then started lunging towards them. So they 00:16:08.100 --> 00:16:11.440 ran fucking hard. Yeah, I'm out. I'm out, dude. 00:16:11.559 --> 00:16:13.379 And then one of them looked back, probably to 00:16:13.379 --> 00:16:15.460 figure out how much time they still had left 00:16:15.460 --> 00:16:18.519 on this mortal coil, but he was gone, just not 00:16:18.519 --> 00:16:21.000 there anymore. And there weren't any alleys. 00:16:21.000 --> 00:16:23.440 There wasn't any open doors to pop into, nothing 00:16:23.440 --> 00:16:27.120 to hide behind. He was just gone. Now, just a 00:16:27.120 --> 00:16:29.220 few nights later, literally down the street from 00:16:29.220 --> 00:16:31.480 where these girls had their encounter, a middle 00:16:31.480 --> 00:16:33.419 -aged woman in Cross Hill had her own run -in 00:16:33.419 --> 00:16:35.320 with the gurney man, and this one is undoubtedly 00:16:35.320 --> 00:16:38.519 worse. It was early in the morning, around 3, 00:16:38.720 --> 00:16:41.720 4 a .m., which is arguably the worst time of 00:16:41.720 --> 00:16:44.039 night. Like, nothing good ever happens in that 00:16:44.039 --> 00:16:48.039 time frame, I feel like. Agreed. Yeah. So she 00:16:48.039 --> 00:16:50.379 woke up to a weird sound. It wasn't like a loud 00:16:50.379 --> 00:16:54.340 sound. It was more just like wrong. Like at first 00:16:54.340 --> 00:16:56.059 she thought it was just like her husband snoring, 00:16:56.080 --> 00:17:00.620 but very quickly realized that the snorting was 00:17:00.620 --> 00:17:03.299 the same nightmare mouth sounds that the two 00:17:03.299 --> 00:17:05.839 girls heard. It wasn't coming from next to her. 00:17:06.180 --> 00:17:08.660 It was coming from the foot of her fucking bed. 00:17:09.220 --> 00:17:15.720 Oh, no. So. Oh, no. I hate it. So instead of 00:17:15.720 --> 00:17:17.920 doing what I would do in this scenario, which 00:17:17.920 --> 00:17:19.539 is pull the covers over my head and pretend like 00:17:19.539 --> 00:17:23.079 nothing is wrong, she looked down and there he 00:17:23.079 --> 00:17:26.480 was, a bald, grinning man just standing there, 00:17:26.519 --> 00:17:28.660 his face all twisted up in that same pain smile. 00:17:28.819 --> 00:17:31.240 And to add even more horror into the mix, he 00:17:31.240 --> 00:17:34.220 was rubbing his chest in a slow, obsessive way, 00:17:34.339 --> 00:17:36.579 just running his hands across himself like he 00:17:36.579 --> 00:17:38.859 was trying to either soothe himself or kind of 00:17:38.859 --> 00:17:41.200 like he was getting off on the terror he was 00:17:41.200 --> 00:17:44.440 inflicting. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, the good news 00:17:44.440 --> 00:17:46.279 is at least he wasn't buffing the musket. You 00:17:46.279 --> 00:17:48.940 know what I mean? True. I guess that would make 00:17:48.940 --> 00:17:51.460 it worse. But also, would it though? I feel like 00:17:51.460 --> 00:17:57.099 if you're making those sounds. At least I get 00:17:57.099 --> 00:18:01.000 it. This is just like. Just standing at the foot 00:18:01.000 --> 00:18:03.079 of the bed. He's like, oh, we've been trying 00:18:03.079 --> 00:18:08.960 to reach you about your warranty. Yeah, it's 00:18:08.960 --> 00:18:10.660 like it's given like it's kind of like it reminds 00:18:10.660 --> 00:18:14.900 me like Buffalo Bill, but like. I don't know. 00:18:15.460 --> 00:18:26.799 Now, I'd fuck me. Goodbye, horses. Dude, I listened 00:18:26.799 --> 00:18:30.329 to that song. fairly regularly i love that fucking 00:18:30.329 --> 00:18:33.369 song and it's not just because it's a great song 00:18:33.369 --> 00:18:35.950 but also because it makes me laugh when i think 00:18:35.950 --> 00:18:38.309 about the implications of listening to that song 00:18:38.309 --> 00:18:42.509 in my car with the windows down on a random street 00:18:42.509 --> 00:18:44.589 in my neighborhood that's pretty good i think 00:18:44.589 --> 00:18:47.190 i'm at a stoplight and goodbye horses is on i 00:18:47.190 --> 00:18:50.599 have no problem rolling down the window all right 00:18:50.599 --> 00:18:53.640 so you got this fucking gangly dude stroking 00:18:53.640 --> 00:18:55.519 his chest probably pinching his nipples or whatever 00:18:55.519 --> 00:18:57.480 standing at the foot of her bed just yeah yeah 00:18:57.480 --> 00:19:00.619 now she froze couldn't move couldn't scream that 00:19:00.619 --> 00:19:02.680 is until he locked eyes with her that's when 00:19:02.680 --> 00:19:04.920 she lost it and finally just like let loose now 00:19:04.920 --> 00:19:07.319 her husband jolted awake like his dick was on 00:19:07.319 --> 00:19:09.980 fire he flipped on the bedroom light ready to 00:19:09.980 --> 00:19:12.000 fucking throw hands but the gurning man was already 00:19:12.000 --> 00:19:14.819 gone and not gone as in like he ran out the door 00:19:14.819 --> 00:19:18.200 gone like he was never there there was no open 00:19:18.200 --> 00:19:22.039 windows no unlocked doors no scuffed floors or 00:19:22.039 --> 00:19:23.920 muddy footprints in the house he was just gone 00:19:23.920 --> 00:19:29.299 now after her encounter like that was it for 00:19:29.299 --> 00:19:31.220 her she was like i'm done and according to the 00:19:31.220 --> 00:19:33.440 story the family moved out the house not long 00:19:33.440 --> 00:19:35.759 after they packed up and got out of cross hill 00:19:35.759 --> 00:19:38.220 altogether and i mean yeah i get it i'd probably 00:19:38.220 --> 00:19:41.279 do the same yeah you gotta think like something 00:19:41.279 --> 00:19:44.000 has to be really fucking terrifying to move out 00:19:44.000 --> 00:19:46.849 because like when we think about like horror 00:19:46.849 --> 00:19:48.910 stories and people living in haunted houses. 00:19:48.930 --> 00:19:50.309 And you're like, why don't you just move out? 00:19:50.369 --> 00:19:52.430 But like, here's the deal. Like that's fucking 00:19:52.430 --> 00:19:55.890 expensive to buy a new house and you got to pick 00:19:55.890 --> 00:19:59.190 up all your shit. How do you do that? And also, 00:19:59.230 --> 00:20:00.549 if you don't want to be there, you have to like 00:20:00.549 --> 00:20:04.609 get a hotel room and get, yeah. Or get an apartment 00:20:04.609 --> 00:20:06.609 while at the same time, probably still paying 00:20:06.609 --> 00:20:08.529 off the house. That's haunted. Exactly. While 00:20:08.529 --> 00:20:10.750 trying to buy a new house. Yeah. It's not like 00:20:10.750 --> 00:20:13.210 moving your apartment. Like when you live, live 00:20:13.210 --> 00:20:15.730 in a house, you have like, decades worth of shit 00:20:15.730 --> 00:20:17.650 at some point yeah and i feel like in in the 00:20:17.650 --> 00:20:21.750 1970s in glasgow or even in america like you 00:20:21.750 --> 00:20:23.450 weren't renting houses like that wasn't this 00:20:23.450 --> 00:20:25.609 i feel like that you might be able to but i feel 00:20:25.609 --> 00:20:27.150 like you might have been like back then council 00:20:27.150 --> 00:20:29.430 or something a council estate and like the government 00:20:29.430 --> 00:20:31.049 was helping you or whatever but you know back 00:20:31.049 --> 00:20:32.789 then i feel like you either owned the house or 00:20:32.789 --> 00:20:35.109 you rented a flat like you weren't there was 00:20:35.109 --> 00:20:37.309 yeah exactly so this person probably owned this 00:20:37.309 --> 00:20:41.720 house and they're like i saw a fucking I saw 00:20:41.720 --> 00:20:44.019 Christian Bale in The Machinist standing at the 00:20:44.019 --> 00:20:47.940 foot of my bed, slowly roughing his chest. I 00:20:47.940 --> 00:20:50.680 saw Stephen Miller daydreaming about catching 00:20:50.680 --> 00:20:53.640 illegals at the foot of my bed. Oh, Stephen Miller. 00:20:53.660 --> 00:20:55.339 He's getting cucked by Elon Musk, and I think 00:20:55.339 --> 00:20:57.380 that's the funniest fucking thing. Imagine being 00:20:57.380 --> 00:21:00.059 cucked by Elon Musk. I'm sorry to sidetrack, 00:21:00.059 --> 00:21:03.299 but just imagine how awful you have to be that 00:21:03.299 --> 00:21:06.880 Elon Musk is more attractive than you are. I 00:21:06.880 --> 00:21:08.700 think about it all the time. That's what gets 00:21:08.700 --> 00:21:22.609 me off. Oh, gross. So the third major sighting 00:21:22.609 --> 00:21:24.569 happened sometime in the late 70s. I think it 00:21:24.569 --> 00:21:26.569 was like 79 or something like that. And it came 00:21:26.569 --> 00:21:28.730 from an elderly woman just going about her nightly 00:21:28.730 --> 00:21:30.630 routine of putting out her milk bottles for the 00:21:30.630 --> 00:21:32.250 morning delivery. This is back when that was 00:21:32.250 --> 00:21:35.269 still a thing, apparently. Now, just a simple 00:21:35.269 --> 00:21:38.380 harmless task. On this night, unfortunately, 00:21:38.539 --> 00:21:41.460 no, not really. So as she was putting out her 00:21:41.460 --> 00:21:43.039 bottles, she noticed something out of place. 00:21:43.099 --> 00:21:44.859 She heard like a clinking sound, like the sound 00:21:44.859 --> 00:21:47.140 of someone kicking glass. And when she looked 00:21:47.140 --> 00:21:50.279 up, she saw him, the same tall, bald, twitchy 00:21:50.279 --> 00:21:51.960 nightmare right there in the middle of the fucking 00:21:51.960 --> 00:21:54.420 road. So the worst part is that he wasn't just 00:21:54.420 --> 00:21:57.359 standing there. He was jogging in place, but 00:21:57.359 --> 00:22:00.579 it seemed almost involuntary, more like spasming. 00:22:00.779 --> 00:22:04.579 It was like a jerky, frantic and uncomfortable 00:22:04.579 --> 00:22:07.809 to watch, she said. He was wearing the same tight 00:22:07.809 --> 00:22:10.450 black outfit. His face was twisted up in what 00:22:10.450 --> 00:22:13.390 she said looked like rage or pain or maybe both. 00:22:13.650 --> 00:22:16.130 And when they locked eyes, just for a second, 00:22:16.309 --> 00:22:19.170 that's when he started to move towards her. Now, 00:22:19.250 --> 00:22:22.970 not a walk, not a run, but a lunge. She let out 00:22:22.970 --> 00:22:25.069 a terrible scream, and just like that, Poofy 00:22:25.069 --> 00:22:27.970 was gone, just blinked out of existence, and 00:22:27.970 --> 00:22:30.789 reality spat him back into whatever void he came 00:22:30.789 --> 00:22:33.369 from. And now it's just her, standing there on 00:22:33.369 --> 00:22:35.359 her step. clutching her milk bottles, trying 00:22:35.359 --> 00:22:38.579 to process what the fuck just happened. So from 00:22:38.579 --> 00:22:42.940 1976 to 1979, there were at least 17 reported 00:22:42.940 --> 00:22:45.500 sightings of the Gurning Man, and those are just 00:22:45.500 --> 00:22:48.200 the ones that were reported. 11 of those sightings 00:22:48.200 --> 00:22:50.380 were outdoors, on the streets of Cross Hill and 00:22:50.380 --> 00:22:52.380 the surrounding neighborhoods. The other six 00:22:52.380 --> 00:22:55.119 were indoors, inside people's fucking houses. 00:22:55.940 --> 00:22:58.839 Ugh. Not great. This dude really gets around. 00:22:59.140 --> 00:23:01.640 Yeah. Now, every report followed pretty much 00:23:01.640 --> 00:23:05.640 the same basic formula. a spindly bald man in 00:23:05.640 --> 00:23:08.319 tight dark clothing usually described like a 00:23:08.319 --> 00:23:10.420 leotard or something you'd expect like a haunted 00:23:10.420 --> 00:23:13.279 mime to wear his face was always contorted into 00:23:13.279 --> 00:23:16.059 the same inhuman grin and he always moved like 00:23:16.059 --> 00:23:19.240 he was glitching he would snort grunt twitch 00:23:19.240 --> 00:23:22.579 sometimes kick kick objects or rub himself like 00:23:22.579 --> 00:23:24.859 he was getting off on the fear it's so fucking 00:23:24.859 --> 00:23:28.960 weird yeah and he only showed up like At night, 00:23:28.980 --> 00:23:32.019 between 9 p .m. and 4 a .m., almost like he was 00:23:32.019 --> 00:23:35.440 a demon working third shift. It's not the best 00:23:35.440 --> 00:23:37.579 shift, but hey, you got to make money somehow. 00:23:38.039 --> 00:23:41.279 He just got out of his job as the security guard 00:23:41.279 --> 00:23:46.640 for Sainsbury. I know British stuff. But the 00:23:46.640 --> 00:23:50.140 part that bothered people the most, well, not 00:23:50.140 --> 00:23:52.599 the most, but... I guess what's frustrating, 00:23:52.859 --> 00:23:55.420 I guess, is that he always disappeared. You can't 00:23:55.420 --> 00:23:57.839 catch the guy if he's popping in and out of existence. 00:23:57.980 --> 00:24:01.119 The second someone screamed or turned on the 00:24:01.119 --> 00:24:04.440 light, he was just gone. Where are you at? How 00:24:04.440 --> 00:24:09.700 are you feeling? I fucking hate this. I mean, 00:24:09.740 --> 00:24:12.000 the thing is, this is terrifying. Objectively 00:24:12.000 --> 00:24:14.599 terrifying. Except for the fact that I keep reminding 00:24:14.599 --> 00:24:17.900 myself he was wearing a leotard. Yeah. Which 00:24:17.900 --> 00:24:21.200 is the least horrifying outfit. I can think of. 00:24:21.279 --> 00:24:23.900 So they described it as, like, I don't know, 00:24:24.000 --> 00:24:26.160 I mean, obviously there's no fucking photos of 00:24:26.160 --> 00:24:28.759 this thing, so I don't know, like, if that's 00:24:28.759 --> 00:24:30.740 really what it was, but I guess, I mean, I feel 00:24:30.740 --> 00:24:33.240 like if it's 1970 -something, you know how to 00:24:33.240 --> 00:24:35.079 describe clothes at that point. Like, it's not 00:24:35.079 --> 00:24:38.960 like, it's not like this was the 1800s and they're 00:24:38.960 --> 00:24:40.440 trying to describe something from the future. 00:24:40.539 --> 00:24:43.859 Like, they had leotards in the 70s. Yeah. Yeah, 00:24:43.880 --> 00:24:45.680 so that's pretty funny. That's actually deeply 00:24:45.680 --> 00:24:50.049 funny. He's like, I'm scared of him. But at the 00:24:50.049 --> 00:24:53.029 same time, I'm like, why are you wearing that? 00:24:53.210 --> 00:24:56.529 You could just wear like a button -down shirt 00:24:56.529 --> 00:24:58.289 and it would still be scary. Like, what are you 00:24:58.289 --> 00:25:00.750 doing, buddy? I mean, I guess if you're doing 00:25:00.750 --> 00:25:02.730 calisthenics in the middle of the road, just 00:25:02.730 --> 00:25:03.829 fucking run to the place. Yeah, that's true. 00:25:05.089 --> 00:25:08.869 It's just a really motivated jogger. Yeah. You 00:25:08.869 --> 00:25:12.549 need that range of motion to be able to, you 00:25:12.549 --> 00:25:14.869 know, fucking herky jerk. The thing is, every 00:25:14.869 --> 00:25:17.690 time he lunges at someone, that's not out of 00:25:17.690 --> 00:25:20.230 malice. It's just when the pre -workout kicked 00:25:20.230 --> 00:25:23.049 in. True. But also, now that I think about it, 00:25:23.109 --> 00:25:25.269 he's wearing a leotard. Maybe his lunge is like 00:25:25.269 --> 00:25:27.009 when you do lunges at the gym where you take 00:25:27.009 --> 00:25:31.529 a big step. I know I'm dating myself here, but 00:25:31.529 --> 00:25:34.309 I keep thinking of when Mike Myers did sprockets. 00:25:35.630 --> 00:25:39.049 when he was Dieter like it would be great if 00:25:39.049 --> 00:25:42.069 the gurning man had like a very effeminate German 00:25:42.069 --> 00:25:48.049 accent oh man hello I am the gurning man would 00:25:48.049 --> 00:25:54.950 you like to dance so one thing I didn't mention 00:25:54.950 --> 00:25:57.609 is that all of these were reported allegedly 00:25:57.609 --> 00:26:02.630 to the police now the police useless as always 00:26:02.630 --> 00:26:05.670 uh yep naturally tossed out a theory that the 00:26:05.670 --> 00:26:08.349 indoor encounters might have just been interrupted 00:26:08.349 --> 00:26:11.589 burglaries but what kind of burglar just stands 00:26:11.589 --> 00:26:13.049 at the foot of your bed grinning and rubbing 00:26:13.049 --> 00:26:16.230 his chest instead of you know robbing the place 00:26:16.230 --> 00:26:19.069 he's again while wearing a unitard and not holding 00:26:19.069 --> 00:26:21.269 a bag yeah there's also the fact that nobody 00:26:21.269 --> 00:26:23.549 ever reported missing items there was no forced 00:26:23.549 --> 00:26:26.359 entry no broken locks Unless the dude had like 00:26:26.359 --> 00:26:29.059 a David Blaine level escape plan. Like how was 00:26:29.059 --> 00:26:30.720 he getting out so fast? That's the thing is he 00:26:30.720 --> 00:26:33.400 just fucking disappears. Like everyone, when 00:26:33.400 --> 00:26:37.339 everyone who comes to you says the guy just dematerialized 00:26:37.339 --> 00:26:42.500 right in front of my eyes. Like old men who are 00:26:42.500 --> 00:26:44.559 that skinny don't really have the muscle mass 00:26:44.559 --> 00:26:48.039 to fucking jump out a window. Yeah. Clearly this 00:26:48.039 --> 00:26:50.680 is something more horrifying. Yeah. I mean, but 00:26:50.680 --> 00:26:54.809 also like that only. That only maybe explains 00:26:54.809 --> 00:26:59.890 the six indoor encounters, not the 11 other outside 00:26:59.890 --> 00:27:04.009 ones. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. But also, then 00:27:04.009 --> 00:27:05.829 there's also the one really uncomfortable detail 00:27:05.829 --> 00:27:07.990 about all this, and that's that every single 00:27:07.990 --> 00:27:11.150 witness was a woman. Most of them alone. Some, 00:27:11.269 --> 00:27:13.130 like we mentioned, were teenagers. Some were 00:27:13.130 --> 00:27:16.049 elderly. Almost as if the gurning man didn't 00:27:16.049 --> 00:27:18.710 just appear at random, but targeted his victims. 00:27:18.890 --> 00:27:21.859 Like, he was a prowler. Here's the thing, though. 00:27:21.880 --> 00:27:24.759 By the time that 1980s rolled in, the sightings 00:27:24.759 --> 00:27:29.319 just stopped. Well, yeah, because by the 80s, 00:27:29.319 --> 00:27:31.400 everyone was wearing black leotards and listening 00:27:31.400 --> 00:27:35.200 to Joy Division. There was no arrest, no answers, 00:27:35.279 --> 00:27:37.759 just a creepy little hole in Glasgow's heart 00:27:37.759 --> 00:27:39.859 where a monster used to be. There were no new 00:27:39.859 --> 00:27:42.599 reports, no fresh encounters. People either moved 00:27:42.599 --> 00:27:44.920 on or convinced themselves that it never really 00:27:44.920 --> 00:27:48.759 happened to begin with. Years passed, then decades. 00:27:49.559 --> 00:27:51.680 The yearning man became one of those local weird 00:27:51.680 --> 00:27:54.279 tales, like half forgotten, half laughed at, 00:27:54.400 --> 00:27:56.640 until eventually it just stopped getting told 00:27:56.640 --> 00:27:59.700 at all. So you would think that after decades 00:27:59.700 --> 00:28:02.160 of silence, the legend would have died, right? 00:28:02.819 --> 00:28:06.359 Yeah. Yeah. Well, of course. In the early 2000s, 00:28:06.359 --> 00:28:09.400 rumors started bubbling back up again. A few 00:28:09.400 --> 00:28:11.559 folks were whispering about seeing a strange, 00:28:11.680 --> 00:28:14.839 twitchy man lurking around Queens Park. Thin, 00:28:14.839 --> 00:28:17.890 bald. dressed in black. But those early reports 00:28:17.890 --> 00:28:20.289 are hazy. There was no names, no details, but 00:28:20.289 --> 00:28:22.609 just enough to get people talking again. And 00:28:22.609 --> 00:28:29.150 then in 2017, which is too recent for me, two 00:28:29.150 --> 00:28:33.329 actual encounters were reported. The first came 00:28:33.329 --> 00:28:35.329 from a young woman walking through Queens Park 00:28:35.329 --> 00:28:37.569 around 9 or 10 p .m. She was passing by some 00:28:37.569 --> 00:28:39.930 parked cars when she noticed someone wedged between 00:28:39.930 --> 00:28:49.140 a van and a car. A jogger who just got stuck 00:28:49.140 --> 00:28:51.500 in a traffic collision. He's fucking pinned. 00:28:53.160 --> 00:28:55.720 It's like signs for the lower half of the body. 00:28:55.839 --> 00:28:58.559 If we move the cars, they're just dead. Yeah, 00:28:58.559 --> 00:29:02.220 he's done. He's wedged between a van and a car. 00:29:02.299 --> 00:29:05.140 He was disturbingly thin, bald, and dressed in 00:29:05.140 --> 00:29:08.779 tight, dark clothing with a neckline so low it 00:29:08.779 --> 00:29:11.660 was, and I quote, almost revealing his nipples. 00:29:12.940 --> 00:29:16.900 Oh, man. I love that he's wearing a V -neck that 00:29:16.900 --> 00:29:21.099 is so deep it's writing its own poetry. Amazing. 00:29:22.440 --> 00:29:24.200 And the moment they locked eyes... Love a deep 00:29:24.200 --> 00:29:27.640 V. Who doesn't love a deep V, dude? And the moment 00:29:27.640 --> 00:29:30.960 they locked eyes, he went into full freak mode, 00:29:31.140 --> 00:29:33.039 I guess. I don't know how... He started groaning 00:29:33.039 --> 00:29:35.599 and snorting and rubbing his chest. His face 00:29:35.599 --> 00:29:38.039 twisted into the same contorted pain grimace. 00:29:38.039 --> 00:29:40.039 He's just hitting all the classics at this point. 00:29:40.420 --> 00:29:43.599 Now, she backed away and then took off running. 00:29:43.700 --> 00:29:45.819 But when she looked back to make sure he wasn't 00:29:45.819 --> 00:29:48.279 like gaining on her again, he was just gone. 00:29:48.720 --> 00:29:52.339 Now, later that same year, a group of teenagers 00:29:52.339 --> 00:29:54.680 were hanging out in Queens Park at night when 00:29:54.680 --> 00:29:56.779 one of them noticed something moving in the bushes. 00:29:57.240 --> 00:30:00.670 Never a good sign. So another girl shined her 00:30:00.670 --> 00:30:03.369 phone flashlight into the dark. And there he 00:30:03.369 --> 00:30:06.170 was, a bald skeletal man crouching among the 00:30:06.170 --> 00:30:08.569 branches, watching them. And then the second 00:30:08.569 --> 00:30:10.950 the light hit him, he did all the signature moves. 00:30:11.089 --> 00:30:12.630 We've been through it enough. You know what they 00:30:12.630 --> 00:30:19.089 are. So trademark dance. Yeah. So they screamed. 00:30:19.130 --> 00:30:21.529 Then they ran. And then one of them tried to 00:30:21.529 --> 00:30:24.069 snap a photo, like either as a memento or evidence. 00:30:24.269 --> 00:30:27.430 It's unclear. But when she turned around, he'd 00:30:27.430 --> 00:30:30.599 already vanished. So you got two sightings in 00:30:30.599 --> 00:30:34.220 the same area, same behavior, same leotard. The 00:30:34.220 --> 00:30:37.380 only difference now is that he was described 00:30:37.380 --> 00:30:40.619 as old. I didn't mention this, but the first 00:30:40.619 --> 00:30:42.619 Queens Park witness guessed that he was anywhere 00:30:42.619 --> 00:30:45.900 between 70 and 90 years old. It's as if the girding 00:30:45.900 --> 00:30:48.559 man had kept... It's as if he kept existing all 00:30:48.559 --> 00:30:52.799 this time, just out of view, if that makes sense. 00:30:52.799 --> 00:30:55.640 Imagine if he was just like some interdimensional 00:30:55.640 --> 00:30:59.549 traveler. and he kept getting stuck here, and 00:30:59.549 --> 00:31:02.670 the whole reason he was doing all this is he 00:31:02.670 --> 00:31:05.490 just really needed to pee, but he can't find 00:31:05.490 --> 00:31:08.849 a place to do it. Or maybe you can't pee in another 00:31:08.849 --> 00:31:10.250 dimension. Maybe there's something about it. 00:31:10.250 --> 00:31:12.369 Yeah, he's just got to hold it. He's been holding 00:31:12.369 --> 00:31:15.829 it for fucking 50 years. Well, I guess this is 00:31:15.829 --> 00:31:18.069 a good point as any to start. This is a good 00:31:18.069 --> 00:31:21.450 jumping off point into our first theory of what 00:31:21.450 --> 00:31:25.650 this thing fucking is. Yeah. And now that we 00:31:25.650 --> 00:31:28.650 know that he got old, maybe the gurning man was 00:31:28.650 --> 00:31:33.829 just a dude. How do you feel about that? I mean, 00:31:33.910 --> 00:31:36.029 I don't know what Rudy Giuliani is up to, but 00:31:36.029 --> 00:31:41.329 it sounds like you're describing him. Yeah, it's 00:31:41.329 --> 00:31:44.029 pretty close. Horrifying. Yeah. You know what, 00:31:44.069 --> 00:31:46.910 though? Rudy's kind of a pudge. He's a bit of 00:31:46.910 --> 00:31:49.410 a pudger, though. Well, now, when he was back 00:31:49.410 --> 00:31:51.809 when he was 9 -11's mayor. Oh, yeah. No, he was 00:31:51.809 --> 00:31:56.599 skeletal. He was terrifying to look at. Uh, like 00:31:56.599 --> 00:32:00.099 Nosferatu. Um, I don't know. I don't think it's 00:32:00.099 --> 00:32:01.839 a man. I mean, it can't be a man. The guy just 00:32:01.839 --> 00:32:03.759 disappears out of nowhere. Well, you know what? 00:32:03.819 --> 00:32:06.200 I haven't even give you the reasons why he might 00:32:06.200 --> 00:32:07.960 just be a dude. Maybe I'll change your mind. 00:32:08.019 --> 00:32:09.559 Do you want your mind blown or changed? Okay. 00:32:09.559 --> 00:32:12.000 Yes, I do. Okay. So yeah. So what if he was, 00:32:12.019 --> 00:32:13.819 so he could, he could have been just a man, a 00:32:13.819 --> 00:32:16.400 very disturbed, possibly sick, definitely very 00:32:16.400 --> 00:32:20.119 horny for fear type dude. Uh, yeah. Yeah. Every 00:32:20.119 --> 00:32:22.099 witness described him as big into nipple play. 00:32:22.720 --> 00:32:25.960 Just squeezing the raisins. Every witness described 00:32:25.960 --> 00:32:28.299 him as looking real. Like he wasn't see -through. 00:32:28.339 --> 00:32:30.559 He didn't float. He wasn't like flickering or 00:32:30.559 --> 00:32:32.380 glowing like a ghost, but he seemed like flesh 00:32:32.380 --> 00:32:35.240 and blood. But so, you know, maybe he was just 00:32:35.240 --> 00:32:38.539 mentally ill or on drugs or both. Now there are 00:32:38.539 --> 00:32:41.579 also some neurological conditions like dystonia 00:32:41.579 --> 00:32:43.980 or epilepsy that can cause uncontrollable facial 00:32:43.980 --> 00:32:47.259 contortions, like spasms, even odd vocalizations. 00:32:47.259 --> 00:32:50.170 That makes sense. Yeah. So maybe he wasn't. even 00:32:50.170 --> 00:32:52.789 trying to scare people, maybe his muscles were 00:32:52.789 --> 00:32:57.190 just betraying him. It's horrible. It's actually 00:32:57.190 --> 00:33:00.069 worse because he's not trying to do it. Yeah, 00:33:00.069 --> 00:33:01.869 but if we're being honest, though, the chest 00:33:01.869 --> 00:33:04.430 rubbing, the bedroom staring, and the nighttime 00:33:04.430 --> 00:33:07.289 stalking, that feels intentional. So even if 00:33:07.289 --> 00:33:09.130 he was a guy... I mean, those are my go -tos. 00:33:09.549 --> 00:33:13.150 I have never had a complaint. So even if he was 00:33:13.150 --> 00:33:14.990 just a guy in pain, he was still doing some... 00:33:15.259 --> 00:33:18.220 deeply predatory creepy ass shit and the fact 00:33:18.220 --> 00:33:20.700 that all the witnesses were women usually alone 00:33:20.700 --> 00:33:23.660 makes it hard not to see this as some kind of 00:33:23.660 --> 00:33:27.019 like targeted behavior so still even if it was 00:33:27.019 --> 00:33:29.140 just some menace or a mentally ill person or 00:33:29.140 --> 00:33:31.339 whatever that doesn't really explain the like 00:33:31.339 --> 00:33:34.339 I blinked and he was gone shit yeah you know 00:33:34.339 --> 00:33:36.160 what I mean no it doesn't help like but maybe 00:33:36.160 --> 00:33:38.180 like the fear and adrenaline you feel in the 00:33:38.180 --> 00:33:40.500 moment messes with your memory or like maybe 00:33:40.500 --> 00:33:42.680 people didn't see him run because they were too 00:33:42.680 --> 00:33:46.039 busy shitting themselves like maybe yeah but 00:33:46.039 --> 00:33:48.220 like a suspicious maybe you know what i mean 00:33:48.220 --> 00:33:50.460 right right but if the real life human theory 00:33:50.460 --> 00:33:52.700 isn't for you let's go the opposite direction 00:33:52.700 --> 00:33:55.500 and get weird with it uh a lot of people lean 00:33:55.500 --> 00:33:57.799 toward the supernatural on this one the vanishing 00:33:57.799 --> 00:34:00.599 knack is a classic ghost move the fact that he 00:34:00.599 --> 00:34:02.359 showed up in people's bedrooms with no sign of 00:34:02.359 --> 00:34:05.539 forced entry also very ghostly and his ability 00:34:05.539 --> 00:34:07.980 to scare the fucking piss out of you like without 00:34:07.980 --> 00:34:10.260 saying a word that's pretty textbook paranormal 00:34:10.260 --> 00:34:13.670 type stuff yeah Some folks have also compared 00:34:13.670 --> 00:34:15.389 him to, like, shadow people, like, you know, 00:34:15.409 --> 00:34:17.030 those dark human -shaped blobs when you have 00:34:17.030 --> 00:34:19.170 sleep paralysis, like, hand -type shit. Well, 00:34:19.210 --> 00:34:20.829 yeah, like, he does kind of sound like a sleep 00:34:20.829 --> 00:34:22.949 paralysis demon. Yeah, he checks some of the 00:34:22.949 --> 00:34:27.130 boxes, like, for sure, like, but only in the 00:34:27.130 --> 00:34:30.269 cases where he's seen inside. I feel like if 00:34:30.269 --> 00:34:32.369 you're outside, that doesn't make any sense. 00:34:32.429 --> 00:34:35.510 Like, he shows up at night, paralyzes you with 00:34:35.510 --> 00:34:37.389 fear, and then disappears when the lights come 00:34:37.389 --> 00:34:40.110 on. But the Gurning Man wasn't a shadow. He had 00:34:40.110 --> 00:34:42.710 details, like clothing, features, sounds, behaviors. 00:34:42.989 --> 00:34:45.789 Like, that makes him feel more real, like more 00:34:45.789 --> 00:34:48.130 physical in a sense. Almost like he's half in 00:34:48.130 --> 00:34:50.769 our world and half somewhere else, Sarge. Oh. 00:34:50.829 --> 00:34:52.650 Which brings us to the theory that he's some 00:34:52.650 --> 00:34:55.909 kind of interdimensional traveler. Ah, like Bigfoot, 00:34:55.929 --> 00:34:58.190 but shaved and skinny and wearing a unitard. 00:35:00.369 --> 00:35:02.789 That sounds offensive. I'm not going to say that 00:35:02.789 --> 00:35:05.329 one anymore. Leotard is how I'll say it. But 00:35:05.329 --> 00:35:07.670 yeah, it's like whatever barrier keeps us from 00:35:07.670 --> 00:35:10.329 seeing into the next reality just got thin as 00:35:10.329 --> 00:35:13.309 hell in Glasgow during the 70s and then briefly 00:35:13.309 --> 00:35:17.429 in the 2000s. And through that rip came this 00:35:17.429 --> 00:35:20.409 twitchy bastard who couldn't quite get the hang 00:35:20.409 --> 00:35:23.409 of existing in our timeline. That could explain 00:35:23.409 --> 00:35:25.590 the weird body movements, the distorted face, 00:35:25.809 --> 00:35:28.750 and the way he was able to just vanish on a moment's 00:35:28.750 --> 00:35:33.110 notice. And then finally, our last theory, maybe 00:35:33.110 --> 00:35:36.650 none of this shit ever actually happens. Okay. 00:35:37.389 --> 00:35:40.610 Yeah. All right. There are zero news reports 00:35:40.610 --> 00:35:43.349 from the time, no police barter, no archived 00:35:43.349 --> 00:35:45.630 headlines. Nobody who lived in Glasgow back then 00:35:45.630 --> 00:35:47.409 seems to remember hearing about this, which is 00:35:47.409 --> 00:35:50.369 pretty weird, right? You would think like leotard 00:35:50.369 --> 00:35:53.010 man with horrifying smile terrorizes women would 00:35:53.010 --> 00:35:56.010 have made the papers, but no, it's almost like 00:35:56.010 --> 00:35:58.489 gurney man just showed up on the internet one 00:35:58.489 --> 00:36:03.199 day. and yeah damn it you son of a bitch if this 00:36:03.199 --> 00:36:05.340 is a fucking reddit story i'm gonna lose my goddamn 00:36:05.340 --> 00:36:07.699 mind the first detailed version of the story 00:36:07.699 --> 00:36:10.500 popped up online around 2012 which means more 00:36:10.500 --> 00:36:12.519 than likely it's a case of retroactive folklore 00:36:12.519 --> 00:36:15.780 something someone making up a spooky local legend 00:36:15.780 --> 00:36:18.019 that felt like it belonged in that era it's much 00:36:18.019 --> 00:36:20.000 like when we did the not deer like the not deer 00:36:20.000 --> 00:36:22.679 yeah it's kind of like that but then people started 00:36:22.679 --> 00:36:27.079 believing it and maybe even seeing it This is 00:36:27.079 --> 00:36:29.480 where the Tulpa Theory comes in. It's the idea 00:36:29.480 --> 00:36:31.619 that if enough people believe in something hard 00:36:31.619 --> 00:36:33.940 enough and long enough, it becomes real. Think 00:36:33.940 --> 00:36:37.139 like Slenderman or The Rake. We know they were 00:36:37.139 --> 00:36:39.579 made up, and yet people swear up and down that 00:36:39.579 --> 00:36:42.960 they have seen them. If reality is just a shared 00:36:42.960 --> 00:36:45.320 hallucination, maybe the Gurning Man is real 00:36:45.320 --> 00:36:48.179 enough now to step out of the shadows, and maybe 00:36:48.179 --> 00:36:51.159 the reason there were those two sightings in 00:36:51.159 --> 00:36:55.710 2017 is because we invited him. How are you feeling 00:36:55.710 --> 00:36:58.170 about these theories? This makes a lot of sense, 00:36:58.289 --> 00:37:01.969 actually, now that you mention it. I see Slender 00:37:01.969 --> 00:37:07.869 Man semi -regularly, actually. He smokes Marlowe's, 00:37:07.889 --> 00:37:13.849 hangs out by a garage, a lot of bird seed. Anyway. 00:37:14.690 --> 00:37:21.989 You just grabbed my dad. I love the Tulpa theory, 00:37:22.090 --> 00:37:28.519 I think. it's, it's, uh, it's a weird nexus of 00:37:28.519 --> 00:37:30.139 things. You know what I mean? Like the Tulpa 00:37:30.139 --> 00:37:33.539 theory is kind of right up there with, um, uh, 00:37:33.679 --> 00:37:37.280 what is that weird thing that happens when people 00:37:37.280 --> 00:37:39.679 all seem to remember something and it turns out 00:37:39.679 --> 00:37:42.900 not to be real. The Mandela effect. Yeah. Yeah. 00:37:42.980 --> 00:37:45.559 I feel like the Tulpa and the Mandela effect, 00:37:45.599 --> 00:37:50.329 it kind of like a hand in hand thing. Um, Cause 00:37:50.329 --> 00:37:52.949 like, if you look at it, so not, not that this 00:37:52.949 --> 00:37:54.989 is, this is like a deliberate example, but like 00:37:54.989 --> 00:37:57.590 Sinbad, everybody thought that Sinbad was in 00:37:57.590 --> 00:37:59.730 a movie where he was a genie. Yeah. And then 00:37:59.730 --> 00:38:02.130 he actually did a commercial where he was a genie 00:38:02.130 --> 00:38:05.590 just to mess with people. And it really, it like 00:38:05.590 --> 00:38:09.869 those two things, those two like things in my 00:38:09.869 --> 00:38:14.929 brain kind of go so well together that it just, 00:38:14.949 --> 00:38:17.170 it, even if it's not real, even if there's nothing 00:38:17.170 --> 00:38:20.449 to that. It's such a, like a fascinating, like 00:38:20.449 --> 00:38:22.550 little journey to go on in your imagination. 00:38:22.630 --> 00:38:25.769 Like just how fucking cool an idea that is. What's 00:38:25.769 --> 00:38:29.809 weird is that I don't remember. I, the only genie 00:38:29.809 --> 00:38:33.510 movie I remember is Kazam with Shaq. Yes. Like 00:38:33.510 --> 00:38:36.650 it's one of those things. Cause the one that 00:38:36.650 --> 00:38:38.949 the people think Sinbad was in, they called it, 00:38:38.969 --> 00:38:40.929 it was Shazam. I don't remember that at all. 00:38:40.929 --> 00:38:44.090 Right. Yeah. And the thing that's funny is I 00:38:44.090 --> 00:38:48.699 remember Shazam. And the Shaq movie. Yeah. See, 00:38:48.739 --> 00:38:51.760 that's why it's weird that things like that only 00:38:51.760 --> 00:38:54.760 affect certain people. It's like, it's like, 00:38:54.760 --> 00:38:56.320 it's like the Fruit of the Loom thing where like, 00:38:56.420 --> 00:38:59.619 I remember a cornucopia. Me too. Apparently there 00:38:59.619 --> 00:39:02.800 was never a cornucopia. I know. It's so fucking 00:39:02.800 --> 00:39:04.739 weird. We need to do an episode on the Mandela 00:39:04.739 --> 00:39:06.260 effect. I think that'd be a lot of fun. We should. 00:39:06.519 --> 00:39:09.159 I think we should. Yeah. I love the Tulpa theory. 00:39:09.239 --> 00:39:11.059 And I, I think there's some truth to it. Cause 00:39:11.059 --> 00:39:13.059 if something's real to you, whether it's real 00:39:13.059 --> 00:39:16.210 or not is immaterial. It's your perception. And, 00:39:16.210 --> 00:39:18.250 you know, we all live in a hologram, so your 00:39:18.250 --> 00:39:21.630 perception is reality a lot of the time. That's 00:39:21.630 --> 00:39:23.070 very true. Which is why I'm the most handsome 00:39:23.070 --> 00:39:25.030 guy in the world. I mean, I'm just kidding. I 00:39:25.030 --> 00:39:27.170 mean, no, you're spitting facts right now, Sarge. 00:39:27.570 --> 00:39:31.969 You flatter me, sir. So was the Gurning Man just 00:39:31.969 --> 00:39:34.949 a creepy dude in a bodysuit, a lost spirit stuck 00:39:34.949 --> 00:39:38.610 between dimensions, or an internet -aged Tulpa 00:39:38.610 --> 00:39:40.889 that we accidentally willed into existence? Tulpa! 00:39:41.510 --> 00:39:45.559 Tulpa! Tulpa! Yeah, more than likely it's the 00:39:45.559 --> 00:39:48.039 last one. But in the end, The Legend of the Gurning 00:39:48.039 --> 00:39:50.679 Man of Glasgow is about answers and more about 00:39:50.679 --> 00:39:53.059 what sticks with you. Like that image of a bald 00:39:53.059 --> 00:39:55.780 skeletal man grinning through pain, rubbing his 00:39:55.780 --> 00:39:58.039 chest and stalking the streets at night. It hits 00:39:58.039 --> 00:40:00.039 on something primal. Like he's not a monster. 00:40:00.159 --> 00:40:02.219 He's not even a cryptid. He's a fucking intrusion. 00:40:02.639 --> 00:40:05.300 Like real or not, this is the kind of story that 00:40:05.300 --> 00:40:07.500 latches onto your brain like black mold and it's... 00:40:07.869 --> 00:40:11.070 really hard to get rid of the gurning man embodies 00:40:11.070 --> 00:40:14.090 a very specific fear of being watched of being 00:40:14.090 --> 00:40:17.409 alone of something just fucking wrong lurking 00:40:17.409 --> 00:40:19.210 at the edge of your world and whether he was 00:40:19.210 --> 00:40:23.789 ever real doesn't really matter anymore so there 00:40:23.789 --> 00:40:25.809 you have it sarge that is the story of the gurning 00:40:25.809 --> 00:40:31.090 man of glasgow we did it that was an amazing 00:40:31.090 --> 00:40:33.530 one i loved it all right it was really good i 00:40:33.530 --> 00:40:38.960 had a lot of fun right yeah There's nothing funnier 00:40:38.960 --> 00:40:48.480 to me than the idea of a haunted sex pest. Not 00:40:48.480 --> 00:40:51.880 only is it creepy and fucking terrifying, but 00:40:51.880 --> 00:40:56.510 it's also a pervert. But also like, that's like, 00:40:56.590 --> 00:40:59.570 I feel like a paranormal sex pest is the worst. 00:40:59.710 --> 00:41:02.590 Like that's way worse. It's so gross. Yeah. Cause 00:41:02.590 --> 00:41:04.590 you can't do it. You can't do anything about 00:41:04.590 --> 00:41:07.429 it. Like, it's just like, like, were they going 00:41:07.429 --> 00:41:09.369 to catch them? Were they going to call the ghostbusters? 00:41:09.409 --> 00:41:11.150 The ghostbusters aren't real. This thing might 00:41:11.150 --> 00:41:12.750 also not be real, but at the same, you know what 00:41:12.750 --> 00:41:15.949 I mean? Like it's all bad. I'm just thinking 00:41:15.949 --> 00:41:18.650 like, he just like, he shows up. He's like, Oh, 00:41:18.969 --> 00:41:24.469 it's so good to see you. He's like twitching. 00:41:24.469 --> 00:41:27.030 He's like, oh, he's getting all riled up to fucking 00:41:27.030 --> 00:41:29.429 sex pest his way through your life. Fuck that. 00:41:29.530 --> 00:41:31.130 I don't want to be a part of your weird fucking 00:41:31.130 --> 00:41:33.670 fantasy, a creepy ghost. It's like a demon version 00:41:33.670 --> 00:41:37.829 of the BP guy from South Park where he's like, 00:41:37.869 --> 00:41:43.050 I'm sorry. Just like rubbing his nipples. It's 00:41:43.050 --> 00:41:45.630 like that, but like a sex pest demon interdimensional 00:41:45.630 --> 00:41:48.889 ghost. All of it's bad. There's a show called 00:41:48.889 --> 00:41:51.969 Doom Patrol that I really like. It just finished 00:41:51.969 --> 00:41:55.829 up. It's on HBO. Brendan Fraser's in it. It's 00:41:55.829 --> 00:41:58.309 about a bunch of weird superheroes. I fucking 00:41:58.309 --> 00:42:02.130 love this show. There's a running gag throughout 00:42:02.130 --> 00:42:05.369 the show. I think it started in season two where 00:42:05.369 --> 00:42:09.329 these ghosts just show up in somebody's house 00:42:09.329 --> 00:42:14.280 and they're just fucking everywhere. They'll 00:42:14.280 --> 00:42:16.000 just be like sitting on the couch and then they'll 00:42:16.000 --> 00:42:17.639 hear groaning. They'll look up in the ceiling 00:42:17.639 --> 00:42:20.260 and there's two ghosts just banging on the ceiling. 00:42:20.480 --> 00:42:23.199 That's pretty good. Oh, gurning man. You're going 00:42:23.199 --> 00:42:25.940 to be my new favorite cryptids. More like gooning 00:42:25.940 --> 00:42:29.019 man. Am I right? Hey. Oh, that was good. That 00:42:29.019 --> 00:42:30.679 was good. I'm actually going to go into chat 00:42:30.679 --> 00:42:32.840 GPT and try to recreate gardening, man. I just 00:42:32.840 --> 00:42:35.480 want to see what their interpretation of him 00:42:35.480 --> 00:42:40.320 would look like. All right. All right. Sorry. 00:42:41.440 --> 00:42:42.940 Put that out of the way. You got anything you 00:42:42.940 --> 00:42:45.400 want to plug before we do our other plugs? Yeah, 00:42:45.559 --> 00:42:51.820 yeah. Follow us on the internet. I don't really 00:42:51.820 --> 00:42:54.559 have anything. I want to thank Cam, Amanda, and 00:42:54.559 --> 00:42:57.039 Elvira for all the help last night and handing 00:42:57.039 --> 00:43:02.059 out the stickers. A lot of cool ideas we kind 00:43:02.059 --> 00:43:06.039 of threw back and forth. Hopefully some cool 00:43:06.039 --> 00:43:11.420 shit for the future. Drink Narragansett or We'll 00:43:11.420 --> 00:43:15.380 be sad about it. And that's all I got. All right. 00:43:15.420 --> 00:43:18.079 And if you want to follow us, you can follow 00:43:18.079 --> 00:43:19.679 us on Instagram at Crypto Cocktail. Follow us 00:43:19.679 --> 00:43:21.179 on TikTok, Crypto Cocktail Party. If you want 00:43:21.179 --> 00:43:23.960 to follow Sarge, there's a link in our Instagram. 00:43:24.280 --> 00:43:27.199 You can find all of his socials on there. He's 00:43:27.199 --> 00:43:29.260 starting to do TikTok again. Sarge, you're doing 00:43:29.260 --> 00:43:31.320 TikTok again. Pretty good. Yeah, I'm getting 00:43:31.320 --> 00:43:34.400 back into it. Pretty good. Thank you. You can 00:43:34.400 --> 00:43:38.039 subscribe to our Patreon. That'd be awesome. 00:43:38.260 --> 00:43:42.469 Give us some funds. for some things. Uh, I think 00:43:42.469 --> 00:43:43.730 that's all I, Oh, leave us a rating and review, 00:43:43.829 --> 00:43:45.789 please. It really helps. Yeah, please. It really, 00:43:45.789 --> 00:43:47.710 really helps get, uh, get the word out there. 00:43:47.710 --> 00:43:49.269 Tell your friends, tell your family, tell your 00:43:49.269 --> 00:43:51.590 mom, tell your dad, whoever, even if you just 00:43:51.590 --> 00:43:53.710 want to shoot us a message on Instagram, we can 00:43:53.710 --> 00:43:57.570 just kind of post it, uh, post the message, uh, 00:43:57.690 --> 00:44:00.289 and your review of the show. Happy or sad. I 00:44:00.289 --> 00:44:01.849 don't care where you, you know, you can say we're 00:44:01.849 --> 00:44:03.949 terrible. We'll still post it. Yeah. Cause we're 00:44:03.949 --> 00:44:06.809 masochists, but also do it on an actual app. 00:44:07.019 --> 00:44:09.019 podcast app because that's how people know if 00:44:09.019 --> 00:44:11.699 we're good or not. Dude, I'm just going to post 00:44:11.699 --> 00:44:13.960 it on Instagram anyway. It's fine. Yeah, man. 00:44:14.099 --> 00:44:16.579 It doesn't help us with people. People won't 00:44:16.579 --> 00:44:20.400 see it. All right. Fine. Fine. Fine. Rate us 00:44:20.400 --> 00:44:23.739 on a real thing instead of the thing I made up. 00:44:23.920 --> 00:44:25.960 But you can send us nice messages or mean messages. 00:44:25.980 --> 00:44:27.519 Yeah, I'll take that too. Yeah, that's fine. 00:44:27.619 --> 00:44:31.260 It keeps me going. Yeah, I love it. I put on 00:44:31.260 --> 00:44:32.980 a DV and started pinching my nips. Yeah, and 00:44:32.980 --> 00:44:34.400 if anyone has a problem with the way I was pronouncing 00:44:34.400 --> 00:44:39.869 Glasgow, Glasgow. whatever uh call me out i'm 00:44:39.869 --> 00:44:43.010 gonna fuck help us get better no i'm still gonna 00:44:43.010 --> 00:44:45.130 pronounce it how i pronounce it which has changed 00:44:45.130 --> 00:44:47.090 dramatically throughout the beginning and the 00:44:47.090 --> 00:44:49.010 end of this episode i pronounce it like four 00:44:49.010 --> 00:44:51.750 different ways it's just one of those names where 00:44:51.750 --> 00:44:54.829 you don't feel comfortable saying it yeah i hate 00:44:54.829 --> 00:44:57.409 it it's all bad and they should feel ashamed 00:44:57.409 --> 00:44:59.769 for naming it something hard to pronounce even 00:44:59.769 --> 00:45:01.550 though that's wild to say considering i used 00:45:01.550 --> 00:45:04.150 to live in new england now live in Pennsylvania, 00:45:04.150 --> 00:45:07.050 where everything is named awful that you can't 00:45:07.050 --> 00:45:09.829 pronounce if you're not from there. Right. All 00:45:09.829 --> 00:45:14.610 right. Go to Leicester. You'll love it. I guess 00:45:14.610 --> 00:45:16.590 that's the way it starts. Do you want to say 00:45:16.590 --> 00:45:19.409 goodbye and love you to the audience? Goodbye. 00:45:19.510 --> 00:45:21.050 I love you. Happy Pride.