You are now listening to Cryptid Cocktail Party.
Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode
of Cryptic Cocktail Party, a show where we have
a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive
into the unknown. I'm your host Dave, joined
as always by my wonderful co -host Sarge. How's
it going Sarge? Woo! Fucking Father's Day! Also,
to our friends in Norway who have made us the
124th most downloaded podcast in Norway. That's
not... even close to cheers in Norwegian because
I'm from Norway so I'm not from there I don't
speak Norwegian my great grandmother no I'm sorry
my grandmother came to the United States from
Norway after World War II and so I just know
that your food is mostly inedible But she is
a Norwegian. We're not the 124th most downloaded
podcast in Norway. That is insane to say. I don't
know. We're charted. Yeah. In education. I don't
know what you said. We're number 124 in education.
Yeah, that's fine. That's not. All right. Yeah.
All right. Yeah. So there's a lot of teachers.
We're the most downloaded podcast by teachers,
I guess. Nothing to do with that. Sarge showing
his ignorance on podcast. Stop shitting in my
ice cream, Dave. I'm sorry. Yeah, I don't...
I had a quiet... I don't even remember what I
was going to say. But anyways, how was your Father's
Day? We're recording this on Father's Day. Let's
just start over. Let's just start all the way
over. No, it's fine. Let's start over. It's Father's
Day. We're recording this on Father's Day. So
happy Father's Day to all of you dads listening.
It's coming out the day after Father's Day, but
that's never stopped us from... doing that's
close enough yeah um but anyways how was your
father's day sarge it was good i took my dad
axe throwing he spent my entire life telling
me not to throw axes then this motherfucker's
just launching them well you know i feel like
when once your kids leave the house i feel like
parents become less yeah then you then you let
the freak flag fly apparently well i'm glad you
had a good father's day i'm glad you guys spent
some time with your dad that's pretty cool i
just talked to mine on the phone he's He's the
same. He's just doing his thing. I was like,
what are you doing today? He's like, I'm drinking,
doing some wiring. I'm like, what the fuck, Dad?
I feel like that's supposed to be two things
you shouldn't be doing simultaneously. He's like,
well, nothing's getting hooked up. It's just,
you know, I'm putting the wires. I'm like, all
right, Dad, whatever. Okay. You psychopath. I'm
putting the wires in and hoping for the best.
But yeah. So, yeah, happy Father's Day, everyone.
Hope everyone had a good one, was safe. Hope
everyone had a good, safe time at the No Kings
marches across the country, if you went to them.
Yeah, we did the Pride march. I did the Pride
march with my daughter yesterday. Pride march
in Boston was also the No Kings rally, but they
called it No Kings Yes Queen. That's fucking
awesome. Yeah, it was the most people I have
ever seen in Boston all at one time. It was mind
-blowing to me. Well, I shouldn't say the most,
but it was almost the most. The most amount of
people I've seen in Boston was when we won the
World Series in 2004, but this was pretty up
there. It was close enough to that? Yeah, this
was a large mob of angry gays. And I loved it.
It was the best thing in the world. Well, I'm
glad you had a good time. All right, Sarge. Yeah.
You ready to dive into this? Before we start,
I do have one quick question for you. Let's do
it. Are you a superstitious guy by any means?
No. No. In fact, I'm actually a huge fan of Black
Cats and the number 13. Okay. All right. But
nothing, you don't have any like no like lucky.
I mean, you were overseas. You didn't have like
a fucking like. touch a wall or some weird shit
like superstition you do for like good luck or
anything like that uh probably i mean i probably
did but it was more of like just a ritual to
kind of you know keep me focused you know what
i mean like it was something you did to stay
in the game it wasn't like i you know i thought
if i if i shit on a wednesday i'd be dead on
friday you know what i mean I wasn't Wade Boggs
in it out there, just eating chicken and never
changing my socks. All right, so it wasn't anything
like that. It wasn't anything crazy like... Okay.
No, no, no, no. All right, well, as I'm sure
you're aware, I'm sure everyone's aware, you
know, Saturday, today's Father's Day, which is
Sunday. Saturday was the No Kings protest, but
the day before that, this past Friday, was Friday
the 13th. Also... Apparently, it's the only one
this year, which I found was... I didn't know
that was a thing. You can only just have one.
I don't know why that blew my mind, but I was
weirded out by that. Yeah, so if anyone out there
was listening, was planning on getting some super
cheap tattoos this year, sucks to suck. You missed
your window. But anyways, the reason why I bring
up Friday the 13th is because I realized that
I have no idea where this superstition comes
from. it seems to me and probably everyone else
listening that we as a society just decided it
was unlucky and then everyone just kind of went
along with it so i figured that today what we
would do is we do a little dive into the history
and origins of friday the 13th and just kind
of see what all the fuss is about do you are
you do you have any idea like any concept of
where it might have come from yeah i mean i think
i think i do i had a friend who was really into
conspiracy theories and so he told me No, he
surprisingly was far more into conspiracy theories
than you were. And he once told me that Friday
the 13th became the day because the leader of
the Knights Templar was killed on Friday the
13th. Okay. All right. No, that's it. Yeah, that
was about it. And I didn't really believe him.
I love the guy and he was one of my closest friends,
but you know, he also believed in some other
stuff. So God just got to take it with a grain
of salt. Some more, some more unsavory things
he probably believed in. So you're like, that's,
that's good enough for me. Oh no, no, no. I mean,
like he believed the Holocaust was real and shit.
He was just like, you know, chemtrails. Well,
that's good. All right. So. Turns out there's
more to it than I thought. Before goth kids and
tattoo artists co -opted this blasphemous day
of days, Friday the 13th already had deep roots
in superstition as well as in religion, both
the number 13 and the day Friday itself. It's
just really like a mashup of ancient numerology,
Christian guilt, and mythological bad omens,
if that makes sense. Okay, okay. So I guess let's
start with the number 13. It's pretty much a
universal symbol of bad luck. Across a wide array
of cultures and beliefs, the number 12 was always
considered complete. There are 12 months in a
year, 12 signs of the zodiac, 12 gods of Olympus,
12 tribes of Israel, 12 apostles. You get it.
12 rolls in a dozen. Well, I was going to say,
so naturally, 13 becomes like the other. It's
the disruptor that makes everything feel kind
of off. Unless you're a baker, then it's... Perfect
for some reason. I don't understand why. But
the anxiety around the number 13 didn't really
get cranked up to 11 until Christianity got involved.
Naturally, they ruined everything. Yeah. One
of the big, I guess, like origin points for Friday
the 13th paranoia goes all the way back to the
Last Supper. So Judas, my guy, was supposedly
the 13th person to sit down at the table. Then
the next day, Jesus was crucified. And can you
guess what day that was? Friday the 13th. Well,
no, it was just a Friday, but you're getting
there. Well, son of a bitch. God damn it. Now,
at this point, Friday already had a reputation
as being kind of like a somber and unlucky day.
According to some older Christian doctrines,
Friday was considered the day that Eve tempted
Adam, the day that Cain murked Abel, and also
the day that... the great flood began. Basically,
back then, if there was some sort of cosmic fuckery
going down, God made sure to pencil it in for
a Friday. Okay. But Christianity, obviously,
didn't really kick this shit off. You're going
to enjoy this. In Norse mythology, there's a
story where 12 gods are having a nice little
dinner party in Valhalla when who else but Loki
shows up. uninvited as the 13th guest and he
just starts stirring shit up he manipulates another
god into killing balder the beautiful who was
a beloved god of light and joy so balder dies
the world goes dark and in keeping with tradition
the 13th guest ruins everything utter balderdash
right so so in uh So in both the Norse and Christian
frameworks, you got the same pattern. 13 shows
up, someone dies, everybody gets bummed out.
Now, by the time you get to medieval Europe,
Fridays were treated like a holy but haunted
day because of the things I mentioned above.
And 13 had long been like the numerical equivalent
of a black cat walking under a ladder, giving
you the finger with one hand and shattering a
mirror with the other. But what really made Friday
the 13th go from just spooky vibes to a full
-blown national day of dread was what happened
on Friday, October 13th in the year 1307. Now,
Sarge, can you guess what happened on that day?
The guy from the Knights Templar got killed,
and that's what it was. You're close. You're
super close. So on that day, King Philip IV of
France decided, you know what? These Knights
Templar motherfuckers, they're getting just a
little too big for their britches, and I don't
like that. Now, for those of you who don't know
who the Templars are or only know them from Indiana
Jones, they were a very powerful and very wealthy
order of knights that were originally founded
to protect Christian pilgrims during the Crusades
and nothing else. They didn't do anything historically
that could put a... Nothing else. Nothing else.
No, they definitely didn't do any other bad things.
No, they were perfect in every way. But over
time, though, they had gone from holy warriors
to money lending warriors. Like they had their
own fleet of ships, castles, and a whole international
banking system going on. They were like medieval
Blackwater meets Wells Fargo. And King Philip
owed them a shit ton of money. So instead of
just, you know, paying, Philip pulled what the
kids would call... A dick move. Yeah. So instead
of just paying, Philip pulled what the kids today
would call a straight -up alpha move. He sent
out sealed orders to be opened simultaneously
across France, commanding the arrest of every
Templar in the country. So at dawn on Friday
the 13th, hundreds of them were dragged from
their beds on some pretty wild charges. So the
knights were accused of spitting on the cross,
worshipping a mysterious bearded head, as well
as doing some weird sex things to each other
during initiation rites. It was part witch hunt,
part debt erasure, and it was all propaganda.
The entire country hated the nice Templar at
this point. I was going to say, the organization
I belong to left out the sex stuff. Oh yeah,
there was a lot of weird sex stuff. Now, dozens
of Templars were tortured and confessed to the
charges under duress. Most were burned alive.
Now, the most famous of them, Grandmaster Jacques
de Molay, he actually held out until 1314 before
he was finally executed in Paris. Now, according
to legend, as he was being burned alive, he cursed
both the king and the pope, summoning them to
meet him before God within the year. And this
is kind of badass. They did. They both died within
months of Jacques' execution. Amazing. Now, I
don't believe in God or curses, but if I was
around back then and that happened, It would
probably make me question whose side God was
really on in that matter. If this be not heresy
or defection, by what name should we call it?
But yeah, you're part of an organization, Sarge.
Do you know any more on this? Yeah, I mean, there's
some stuff, but I can't tell you because it's
all secret. But I will tell you that I did know
Jacques de Molay, Houdet Perral, and Guy Viverne.
And that's about it. No, I mean, like I know,
I know a bunch about this because I was in this
organization. Uh, so there's an organization
for young men, uh, ages, I think it's 12 or 14
to 21 and it's called D Malay. And, um, it's
actually something my little brother was in my
sister. My sister's husband was a big member.
Um, That sounded weird. It wasn't talking about
penises, but that's how it sounded. And I get
that. So we were in this organization. It was
really just like a youth group where we like
did fun stuff. Like we went to like amusement
parks and shit. So is this like, it sounds like
you're describing like, like the, the Cub Scout
version to the, like the, like the Cub Scout
version to the Boy Scouts version of the, like
the. what is it called? The Masons or something
like that? The Masons. Yeah. You know, they,
they, you had the boy scouts and then we were
the man scouts. Like I taught you how to be like
an adult in polite society. You learned a lot
about civic stuff. You learned how government
works, that kind of thing. It was a cool little
group. And I, I, you know, my best friend was
in it and we were, you know, we're still very
close. Um, and, and you, you learned about this
particular instance of, of Guillaume Verne, Houdet
Perral, Jacques T. Millet. being imprisoned on
friday the 13th yeah but anywho while the connection
between friday the 13th and the templar arrests
wasn't widely considered the true beginning of
the idea until like the 20th century i think
like dan brown and like conspiracy theorists
like oh god yeah they all kind of latched onto
the story as like the true origin and it has
since become for sure one of the most like dramatic
origin stories tied to the superstition i mean
yeah no one can say for sure when and where it
truly began but friday the 13th 1307 definitely
gave it like a real body count and like not a
great legacy going forward so yeah it's pretty
fucked up yeah and and we learned and i don't
know how true this is you can you'll fill us
in because you did the research but we learned
that philip the fair france did this because
he wanted all the money that the knights templar
had because he had pissed away a lot of his money
on bullshit yeah well he loaned the the knights
templar loaned him he was broke so they loaned
him a bunch of money and then instead of like
just paying it back he was like fuck all y 'all
i'm gonna wipe you all out and then i'm just
gonna so he donald trumped it and then he seized
all The gold, like all their, I guess gold back.
I don't know what it'd be. They didn't have cash,
but you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. I know.
He sees their lands and their titles. He basically,
yeah, basically. And then he turned everyone
against the night. Like it was propaganda. My
buddy, Frank is going to be real mad at me if
I don't mention this, but there was another guy.
His name was Godfrey to Godville. So it's Godfrey
to Godville, who they parole. Give a burn and
jock team away. My mistake. I apologize. Oh,
four of them. Four of them. Okay. All right.
So, yeah. My father -in -law, James, is probably
bricked up right now knowing that I'm talking
about this. Okay. So, so far, we've got Norse
gods, Christianity, and betrayed knights to really
set the stage. But despite centuries of vague
superstition floating around, Friday the 13th
didn't really become like an official thing in
society until like surprisingly recently. The
phrase Friday the 13th wasn't even commonly written
down until the 1800s. And even then it wasn't
like drenched in horror. It was more of like
a weird coincidence people noticed when shit
went weird. If that makes sense. Yeah. That is
until 1907 when stockbroker and novelist Thomas
Lawson published a book called Friday the 13th.
The plot of the book. basically summed up as
like a shady broker and his friend make reckless
stock trades on Friday the 13th in order to crash
the stock market. I guess it was kind of like
a mashup of like American psycho meets wall street,
but the book was like a huge hit. And from there
it just kind of snowballed. Like the date was
firmly planted in Western culture, kind of a
day that's not cursed, but like cursed light,
I guess like, yeah, not a great day. It became
bad enough to make people like cancel plans,
but not so bad that you need to like consult
a priest about it. Yeah, that's why they don't
have 13th floors in some tall buildings. Yeah,
well, that actually leads me to this. It led
to some pretty weird modern superstitions. Like
hotels and skyscrapers skipping the 13th floor.
A lot of planes don't have a row 13. People refuse
to go to work or get married on Friday the 13th.
And especially in Western cultures where the
number 13 already had a bad rap thanks to Jesus
and numerology. And of course, the episode wouldn't
be complete if I didn't mention that in 1980,
the movie Friday the 13th came out. And as I'm
sure you all know, the film leaned hard into
the superstition, using the date as a backdrop
for all the shenanigans that went on at Camp
Crystal Lake. And then since then, Hollywood
and the media played a really big part in pushing
the Friday the 13th superstitions to the masses.
It's pretty much everywhere at this point. But
all that said and done. Friday the 13th isn't
a universal thing. Like, for instance, in Italy,
Friday the 17th is considered the unluckiest
day. And in Spain and much of Latin America,
it's Tuesday the 13th. So I guess culturally
the date is flexible, I guess. It just needs
one of the two, like a Friday or a 13. It seems
like. It's really just whatever one you want
to put it on. Yeah. How are you feeling so far,
Sarge? This is fucking great. I'm very excited.
I got to mention Frank and James, my brother
-in -law and my best friend. And then, of course,
my younger brother, Jordan, who was... So James
and Jordan were actually state officers in this
group. They were like bigwigs in Massachusetts
when they were kids because of this. So I'm very...
I just texted them. I'm very excited. I can't
wait for them to hear this. I'm also excited
because it validates some of the crazy things
Frank told me when I was younger. But I'm also
alarmed because now I wonder what other things
he told me actually turned out to be true. Like,
do I need a gas mask when I go outside? Dude,
that's the one thing about conspiracy theorists.
There's part of me that at some points, I'm like,
what if Alex Jones is right? You know what I
mean? Like what if we're all the crazy ones?
Cause you come across something that's like,
I mean, to be fair, the best conspiracy theories
have some semblance of truth. So when you come
across something that is true, that's part of
a larger conspiracy, you're like, fuck. Like,
yeah, yeah, exactly. Oh shit. What else is real?
Oh, I hate that. I hate it so much. Cause then
I second guess myself and I feel like a crazy
person, but it's like, nah, they're the crazy
ones. I was picking on Frank earlier he's not
that crazy he didn't believe in chemtrails but
you know he had like he had some conspiracy theories
he threw at me that like you know what you know
in cartoons when somebody takes like a drug or
whatever and their eyes dilate that's what happened
to me when I met Frank this dude turned me on
to a ton of crazy shit Frank I know you're gonna
listen to this I just want to thank you for making
me goddamn weird I appreciate it thanks Frank
So yeah. So the Friday the 13th panic we know
and love is mostly just really a mashup of weird
history, religious nonsense, publishing gimmicks,
and Hollywood and the media, which really is
the basis for almost everything we observe or
celebrate in our country. So I don't know why
this would be any different. But like I said,
I wanted to know more about it. So now you guys
have to know about it. But I guess the question
I should have been asking isn't why do we observe
it, but does it actually live up to the hype?
Like, is there a reason for us to fear it? Like,
have there been real world tragedies or events
that have happened? Or are we, you know, as a
species just looking for patterns in the chaos
that is life? Well, it's a little bit of both.
For starters, some people suffer from the condition
known as, and I'm going to butcher this pronunciation.
Triskaidekaphobia. That's the fancy $5 word for
the fear of number 13. Dude, you nailed it. I
would have fucked that up. I wouldn't have even
tried. I had to give it a shot. Then you can
supersize that for $1 more and get Paraskevidekatriophobia,
which is the fear of Friday the 13th specifically.
Jesus Christ. In our society, we have played
up the hype around Friday the 13th so much that
there's an actual phobia about it, which is insane.
But hey, they only happen a couple times a year,
if sometimes once a year, so a lot of people
don't have much to worry about. Now, yeah, the
superstition also has a very real and tangible
economic impact, like billions of dollars kind
of impact. Studies have shown that on Friday
the 13th, people are less likely to travel, schedule
major medical procedures, make big purchases,
or even go to work. The Stress Management and
Phobia Institute once estimated that the U .S.
loses up to $900 million every time that date
rolls around, just from people collectively chickening
out. So if you need to get an appointment at
the DMV, sounds like Friday the 13th is the way
to go if you're not super superstitious. I guess.
I mean, I feel like it's a nightmare no matter
what day. Yeah, no, it's true. You know what's
interesting about this? Sorry to cut you off,
but you know what's interesting about this is
that in Hell's Angels by Hunter S. Thompson,
he talks about the number 13 and its meaning
to the Hell's Angels. Yeah. So a lot of them
would have like a 13 patch. Yeah. And that's
because 13 stands for the 13th letter of the
alphabet, which is M. which stands for marijuana.
Oh, I did not know that. Yeah, they would have
13 patches that would just signify that they
like to smoke weed. I feel like that's extra.
I feel like you don't have to do that. Well,
I mean, you know, you do run into problems when
you start using the numerical code for the alphabet.
True, but also I feel like if you're in the Hells
Angels, I just assumed that. That would be the
case anyways. Well, I'm sure now 13 stands for
meth, but back in the day. Yeah, I mean, that's
where my head went. When you first said the letter
M, I was like, ah, yeah, no, we know where this
is going. It's fine. Now, are there actually
more accidents or disasters on Friday the 13th?
Not really. Some studies have shown a small uptick
in accidents or hospital visits, but others showed
no significant. But we as a society are really
good at cherry -picking events to fit a narrative.
Case in point, I did just that. A 13 -year -old
boy in the UK, 13 -year -old boy in the UK, was
struck by lightning at exactly 1313 on Friday
the 13th back in 2010. He survived, but the media
ate that shit up. You're getting fancy with it.
Yeah. The Costa Concordia cruise ship. That's
1 p .m. for the rest of you. Yes, Sarge. The
Costa Concordia cruise ship capsized on Friday,
January 13, 2012, killing 32 people. And probably
the most infamous was Flight 571, crashed on
Friday, October 13, 1972. Survivors were stranded
in the Andes for 72 days and had to resort to
cannibalism to survive. You might know this story
better as the incident that inspired the movie
Alive. Yeah, and a couple of restaurants. What?
yeah i'm sure there's like a couple of restaurants
that open up that were people themed okay but
here's the thing i need people but here's the
thing humans are wired to notice patterns so
when something awful happens on friday the 13th
it feels bigger heavier moral like more meant
to be even though statistically shit goes wrong
all the time sometimes it just happens to land
on a friday with a spooky number so yeah The
real power of Friday the 13th isn't some ancient
curse. It's in the way we collectively treat
it like a curse. But in the more recent years,
people have been kind of leaning into the superstition.
Tattoo shops run Friday the 13th flash sales.
You know, cheap tattoos, usually tiny spooky
ones in celebration of the unluckiest day of
the year. Bars serve up special cocktails. Haunted
houses open out of season. In small towns with
a more dark sense of humor, throw... like Friday
the 13th festivals with vendors and horror movie
screenings. And it's like we see with a bunch
of the other stuff we cover. What was once feared
is now celebrated. And that's one of the rad
things about modern folklore, like it mutates.
It gets recycled through pop culture, the media,
and pretty much like detachment to the point
where we don't know whether we're afraid or just
vibing with it ironically or just full on celebrating
it. But yeah, there you have it, Sarge. That
is the origin and... lead up to where we are
now on Friday the 13th. How are you feeling about
it? I am so sorry that I didn't believe you,
Frank. Holy shit. I mean, technically, he's not
right, but he's also not wrong. No, he is right.
I don't think he said that they died on that
day. He probably told me the whole story because
he's a really smart guy. But it's also not the
true origin of Friday the 13th. So he's kind
of right and kind of wrong. Yeah, but like, you
know, he wasn't far off the money is what I'm
saying. He was not. No, no, no. No, I think this
is, this was cool. I was, I'm glad I learned
something today. Besides the fact that my dad
gets real mad when I beat him at throwing axes.
Sorry, Gus. Yeah. I just, I've always, you know,
as Friday, he's always been part of like part
of the zeitgeist of society that like, I never
even once bothered to look into why or how. Well,
yeah, it's like, it's, it's one of those things
that we just take for granted until you actually
start thinking about it. And you're like, wait,
why is this a problem? Yeah. I mean, it's not.
I've never had anything bad happen to me on a
Friday the 13th, so I'm not crazy concerned about
it. Yeah, me neither. I mean, I just wanted to
know where it came from and what the whole deal
was, and I learned, and now you all learned.
I often use the number 13 in my passwords. I
like 13, though. The number 13 doesn't bother
me at all. I got no problem with it. I don't
think it's a bad number. I mean, if I had to
choose a number that I think is worse, 27. If
I'm going to be honest, that's just, I hate that.
Yeah. I don't like 27. There's something wrong
with that number. It's not a good number. And
I don't know if that's like an autism thing,
but I feel like 27 is more cursed than 13. Yeah,
I agree. I agree. I don't like the number 27.
I love the number 13. Yeah, it's great. It's
fine. Uh, yeah. All right. So any final thoughts,
any parting things you want to say about the
episode before we. Going to all the plugging
and stuff? No, no. That was actually a lot of
fun. I really liked that topic. I'm very excited
about it. I'm going to look into more 13 stuff.
I want to see what else people don't do when
there's a 13. Do the Duggars, is their 13th kid
a fucking demon? What happened? I want to know
more. That whole family's demonic to begin with,
so it doesn't really matter. No, that's absolutely
true. Josh Duggar. When your first kid is a fucking
sex pest, you should have stopped having kids.
Yeah, but they didn't know that until, like,
they were, like, eight deep, I feel like, probably.
Yeah, but they still had, like, 28 other kids
after that. You know what I mean? Like, stop.
You made a bad one the first time around. The
rest can't be that great. All right, Sarge. Yeah,
that's the episode. Thanks so much for listening
to everyone. I know we got a bunch of new listeners
recently, so thank you so much for checking us
out. If you like what you hear, please leave
us a rating and review. It really helps the show
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in learning about cryptids, aliens, conspiracies,
or weird historical things about holidays that
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Cocktail Party. We got a Patreon if you want
to Sub to that. And sorry, do you got anything
you want to plug before we sign off? No, no.
I just want to say a happy pride to everyone.
I know pride happens in different weekends throughout
June, but frankly, pride is one of my favorite
months. Not only because it highlights and celebrates
a community that took me in when I was an odd,
weird teenager, even though I wasn't a member
of the LGBTQ community, I was like accepted as
a, as a friend. Um, and then, you know, it doesn't,
it doesn't hurt the fact that, uh, uh, conservative
morons hate it. That also makes me very happy.
So happy pride, uh, uh, happy holidays to you.
Conservative fuckheads. And, um, I hope everybody
had a great weekend and go do some gay shit.
Cause I'm proud of you. Be gay, do crime. All
right, Sarge. Yes. With that out of the way,
do you want to say goodbye and I love you to
the audience? Yes. Audience, goodbye. I love
you. Also, happy 250th birthday, Army. Sorry
you had to march in dipshits parade, but I hope
you got drunk yesterday. Goodbye and I love you.