WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:03.339 You are now listening to Cryptid Cocktail Party. 00:00:40.429 --> 00:00:42.590 Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode 00:00:42.590 --> 00:00:44.229 of Cryptic Cocktail Party, a show where we have 00:00:44.229 --> 00:00:46.130 a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive 00:00:46.130 --> 00:00:47.969 into the unknown. I'm your host Dave, joined 00:00:47.969 --> 00:00:50.570 as always by my wonderful co -host Sarge. How's 00:00:50.570 --> 00:00:53.450 it going Sarge? I'm doing fucking great! Woo! 00:00:53.890 --> 00:00:56.310 Happy Mother's Day! Happy Mother's Day Sarge. 00:00:56.369 --> 00:00:59.990 Take two! Take two. It's become a recurring theme, 00:01:00.049 --> 00:01:02.649 but you know what? Sometimes we should probably 00:01:02.649 --> 00:01:05.769 just stop acknowledging it, but you know, it 00:01:05.769 --> 00:01:09.879 is what it is. But how's your Mother's Day going, 00:01:09.939 --> 00:01:13.180 Sarge? It's great. I ran around. I brought flowers 00:01:13.180 --> 00:01:20.099 to people, cards and stuff. Yeah, it's been a 00:01:20.099 --> 00:01:23.000 day. It's been a day. But it was a good day, 00:01:23.120 --> 00:01:26.599 and I'm ready to roll. Well, I'm sure your wife 00:01:26.599 --> 00:01:28.439 and your mom and mother -in -law, I'm sure they 00:01:28.439 --> 00:01:30.420 all appreciated everything you did for them today. 00:01:30.879 --> 00:01:34.340 They certainly might have. That's the spirit. 00:01:34.439 --> 00:01:36.379 I like that. Hell yeah. I didn't do anything. 00:01:36.500 --> 00:01:38.859 I mean, I live in Philly. All my parents live 00:01:38.859 --> 00:01:41.060 in New Hampshire, so it was just a couple 10 00:01:41.060 --> 00:01:44.299 -minute phone calls. See, you've got the good 00:01:44.299 --> 00:01:46.959 deal. You've got the good deal right there. All 00:01:46.959 --> 00:01:48.599 you've got to do is make a phone call. Yeah, 00:01:48.620 --> 00:01:50.900 it was nice. I mean, it's always nice to talk 00:01:50.900 --> 00:01:53.000 to them. I mean, I talk to my mom every once 00:01:53.000 --> 00:01:54.959 in a while, but I don't really call my stepmom 00:01:54.959 --> 00:01:56.640 very often, so it was nice to catch up. She was 00:01:56.640 --> 00:01:58.959 with my sister, so that was cool. I got to wish 00:01:58.959 --> 00:02:01.840 her a happy Mother's Day. But yeah, happy Mother's 00:02:01.840 --> 00:02:05.730 Day to all the... I know. Oh, yeah. We're recording 00:02:05.730 --> 00:02:07.769 this on Mother's Day. It's going to come out 00:02:07.769 --> 00:02:10.629 at midnight. You know what, though? There is 00:02:10.629 --> 00:02:14.490 nothing more appropriate on Mother's Day than 00:02:14.490 --> 00:02:16.990 a belated Happy Mother's Day because men forget 00:02:16.990 --> 00:02:20.050 everything. So I think we actually did the right 00:02:20.050 --> 00:02:22.310 thing here. I think this is kind of the perfect 00:02:22.310 --> 00:02:25.449 segue into today's episode. Oh, we're doing an 00:02:25.449 --> 00:02:28.610 episode on 40 -year -old men who forget stuff? 00:02:29.330 --> 00:02:33.449 Well, I mean, kinda. I figured we'd do a Mother's 00:02:33.449 --> 00:02:38.169 Day special. Okay. So, you ready to dive into 00:02:38.169 --> 00:02:40.990 this wonderful world of Mother's Day? Yes, I 00:02:40.990 --> 00:02:43.710 am beyond ready. It's not anything cool. It's 00:02:43.710 --> 00:02:45.629 not like the origins of Mother's Day. It's not 00:02:45.629 --> 00:02:47.949 like Valentine's Day where the origins are some 00:02:47.949 --> 00:02:51.270 brutal, bloody, sacrificial thing. It's a lot 00:02:51.270 --> 00:02:54.229 different. So, Mother's Day. A time to honor 00:02:54.229 --> 00:02:56.370 the women who checked under our beds for monsters, 00:02:56.590 --> 00:02:59.169 packed our lunches, kissed our scraped knees, 00:02:59.310 --> 00:03:02.129 and somehow decidedly didn't smother us in our 00:03:02.129 --> 00:03:04.449 sleep despite us being insufferable little shits. 00:03:04.509 --> 00:03:07.129 That's true. It's about love, nurture, and safety. 00:03:07.550 --> 00:03:10.729 So today, in honor of those that gave us life, 00:03:10.909 --> 00:03:12.830 I figured we would celebrate Mother's Day the 00:03:12.830 --> 00:03:15.810 only way we really could on this show, and that's 00:03:15.810 --> 00:03:19.750 to talk about ghost moms. Ghost moms! Ghost moms! 00:03:22.570 --> 00:03:24.270 You, as well as everyone, you're probably wondering, 00:03:24.349 --> 00:03:27.930 what's a ghost mom, right? Yeah. That's a great 00:03:27.930 --> 00:03:29.150 question. That would be helpful to know. I mean, 00:03:29.189 --> 00:03:32.530 I'm guessing the word kind of defines itself. 00:03:33.030 --> 00:03:35.189 Yeah. It's a mom that's a ghost, right? True, 00:03:35.310 --> 00:03:36.969 but it could be like that. Was it Ghost Dad? 00:03:37.169 --> 00:03:39.449 Was that a movie? Did I make that up? It was 00:03:39.449 --> 00:03:42.710 a movie, though. Was that Bill Cosby? Yeah. Ah, 00:03:42.870 --> 00:03:44.789 fuck. Yeah, so I think we all kind of want to 00:03:44.789 --> 00:03:46.750 forget about that one. Yeah, but if you're wondering 00:03:46.750 --> 00:03:49.710 what a ghost mom is, well, you're about to find 00:03:49.710 --> 00:03:53.370 out. So, first. on the list of ghost moms, just 00:03:53.370 --> 00:03:57.050 absolutely girl bossing it is La Llorona, AKA 00:03:57.050 --> 00:04:02.710 the weeping woman. She's got the look, she's 00:04:02.710 --> 00:04:04.870 got the cry and she is without a doubt, Latin 00:04:04.870 --> 00:04:07.430 America's reigning queen of sorrow and misery. 00:04:07.550 --> 00:04:09.009 So are you, you're familiar? Everyone's familiar 00:04:09.009 --> 00:04:11.710 with La Llorona, right? I am very familiar. I 00:04:11.710 --> 00:04:17.709 did a, a wonderful episode of the, of La Llorona. 00:04:18.240 --> 00:04:20.899 and it was actually the most popular episode 00:04:20.899 --> 00:04:24.759 of Citizens Guide to the Supernormal. Still is. 00:04:24.879 --> 00:04:27.680 It's a great story. Now, as I'm sure you know 00:04:27.680 --> 00:04:29.279 when you were doing your research, there are 00:04:29.279 --> 00:04:32.399 a thousand iterations of the La Llorona story. 00:04:32.779 --> 00:04:36.759 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. But the core legend, I guess, 00:04:36.899 --> 00:04:41.160 it's all just kind of like circular. Circling 00:04:41.160 --> 00:04:43.019 around a black hole of just misery, but it all 00:04:43.019 --> 00:04:45.560 kind of boils down to this one core legend. That 00:04:45.560 --> 00:04:47.699 Narragansett's really kicking in, huh, bro? Oh, 00:04:47.720 --> 00:04:50.939 this is Neshaminy. My Narragansett's kicking 00:04:50.939 --> 00:04:53.240 in. I'm drinking the Star Wars lager today. Oh, 00:04:53.860 --> 00:04:56.319 that's fair. That's fair. Hey, I'm drinking it. 00:04:56.339 --> 00:04:57.980 I found out the reason why I got a hand tattoo. 00:04:58.060 --> 00:05:00.019 This is like 6 % alcohol. I had like 10 of these. 00:05:03.819 --> 00:05:10.009 Sorry, mom. Like I was saying, there's a thousand 00:05:10.009 --> 00:05:11.889 iterations of the La Llorona story, but the core 00:05:11.889 --> 00:05:15.110 legend goes like this. A woman, usually named 00:05:15.110 --> 00:05:17.990 Maria, is betrayed by the man she loves. Oftentimes, 00:05:18.129 --> 00:05:21.410 it's a ranchero or a Spanish conquistador, basically 00:05:21.410 --> 00:05:23.870 some rich asshole, who ends up ditching her and 00:05:23.870 --> 00:05:25.569 their kids for someone, quote -unquote, more 00:05:25.569 --> 00:05:27.829 respectable. Because Maria, even though she was 00:05:27.829 --> 00:05:30.610 beautiful, humble, kind, she was also dirt poor. 00:05:31.319 --> 00:05:34.459 socioeconomic status was way down there his way 00:05:34.459 --> 00:05:36.680 up there you know it was just some son of a bitch 00:05:36.680 --> 00:05:38.740 with like a pencil thin mustache and a white 00:05:38.740 --> 00:05:42.839 suit the worst kind of mustache yeah yeah pencil 00:05:42.839 --> 00:05:45.639 thin isn't like uh what's his name john waters 00:05:45.639 --> 00:05:47.980 yes like that kind of pencil thin but not as 00:05:47.980 --> 00:05:52.300 but not as lovable exactly probably just as fucking 00:05:52.300 --> 00:05:55.420 disturbing but not as lovable. True. Um, but 00:05:55.420 --> 00:05:57.339 yeah, so he ends up cheating on her, ditching 00:05:57.339 --> 00:05:59.480 her for like a, he trades her in for a new model. 00:05:59.560 --> 00:06:01.639 Tale as old as time, you know, those pieces of 00:06:01.639 --> 00:06:05.319 shit, a Lee, a real Leonardo DiCaprio. So in 00:06:05.319 --> 00:06:07.639 a fit of grief and rage and temporary madness, 00:06:07.800 --> 00:06:10.860 she drowns her children in the river. Now, immediately 00:06:10.860 --> 00:06:13.699 realizing what she has done, she either drowns 00:06:13.699 --> 00:06:17.000 herself in that same river, uh, or just dies 00:06:17.000 --> 00:06:20.519 from just being sad. because of it uh but instead 00:06:20.519 --> 00:06:22.480 of moving on to the afterlife she's cursed to 00:06:22.480 --> 00:06:25.160 wander the earth no longer as maria but as la 00:06:25.160 --> 00:06:28.600 llorona crying out i miss heos i don't think 00:06:28.600 --> 00:06:31.300 i pronounced that right i miss heos it basically 00:06:31.300 --> 00:06:33.160 says it's basically like oh fuck where are my 00:06:33.160 --> 00:06:37.060 kids loose translation doomed to search for the 00:06:37.060 --> 00:06:39.540 souls of the kids she lost. Now, over the years, 00:06:39.600 --> 00:06:42.639 the details of the story shift. Sometimes she's 00:06:42.639 --> 00:06:44.740 a heartbroken lover. Sometimes she's possessed. 00:06:45.000 --> 00:06:47.620 In some stories, her name isn't even Maria. And 00:06:47.620 --> 00:06:50.079 in way earlier versions of the story, like the 00:06:50.079 --> 00:06:53.500 Aztec legend that's kind of loosely related to 00:06:53.500 --> 00:06:56.660 this, she wasn't even the killer. But the constants 00:06:56.660 --> 00:06:59.019 of the story always stay the same. A woman in 00:06:59.019 --> 00:07:02.930 white, soaked and sobbing. She's tied to water 00:07:02.930 --> 00:07:05.129 and tragedy in an overwhelming sense of regret 00:07:05.129 --> 00:07:08.629 turned wrath. So La Llorona is part cautionary 00:07:08.629 --> 00:07:12.170 tale, part urban legend, and part spiritual landmine. 00:07:12.189 --> 00:07:14.589 Like parents use her to scare kids away from 00:07:14.589 --> 00:07:17.310 rivers, canals, late night parties, and a whole 00:07:17.310 --> 00:07:19.829 host of bad decisions. And honestly, from what 00:07:19.829 --> 00:07:23.569 I've gathered, it kind of works. It's also a 00:07:23.569 --> 00:07:32.139 banging song. Is it? La Llorona. I don't think 00:07:32.139 --> 00:07:34.000 that's how that goes. You know what? Now that 00:07:34.000 --> 00:07:37.139 I think about it, you would be correct. It's 00:07:37.139 --> 00:07:40.300 My Sharona. Yeah, but even skeptics who laugh 00:07:40.300 --> 00:07:43.240 off ghost stories tense up when they hear sobbing 00:07:43.240 --> 00:07:45.199 in the dark because La Llorona isn't just scary. 00:07:45.519 --> 00:07:48.519 She's kind of sad. And that kind of combo of 00:07:48.519 --> 00:07:50.399 a ghost story just kind of hits a little differently. 00:07:50.699 --> 00:07:52.620 You know what I mean? Also, nothing makes me 00:07:52.620 --> 00:07:56.639 run away faster than a crying woman. I can't 00:07:56.639 --> 00:07:59.540 explain it. I just don't know what to do in those 00:07:59.540 --> 00:08:04.339 situations. It's like in Talladega Nights when 00:08:04.339 --> 00:08:05.819 he's like, I don't know what to do with my hands. 00:08:05.860 --> 00:08:08.839 I have no idea how to handle a crying woman. 00:08:08.939 --> 00:08:12.040 I am always bad at it. Oh, same. But what I've 00:08:12.040 --> 00:08:13.779 learned for the most part is that they don't 00:08:13.779 --> 00:08:16.000 want you to solve the reason why they're crying. 00:08:16.079 --> 00:08:17.839 They just want you to listen to the reason that 00:08:17.839 --> 00:08:20.000 they're crying. They don't want most women when 00:08:20.000 --> 00:08:22.120 they're venting. They don't want solutions. They 00:08:22.120 --> 00:08:24.899 just want you to listen to them rant. Yep. And 00:08:24.899 --> 00:08:29.399 if any women listening, if you can confirm or 00:08:29.399 --> 00:08:31.740 deny that, like, let me know I'm wrong, but I 00:08:31.740 --> 00:08:33.399 feel like what I've learned and the reason why 00:08:33.399 --> 00:08:35.740 I've been married for so long is that kind of 00:08:35.740 --> 00:08:37.279 it. Because every time I try to fix the problems 00:08:37.279 --> 00:08:40.799 or give solutions, it ends up turning hostile 00:08:40.799 --> 00:08:43.440 towards me. It's never a good answer. It's never 00:08:43.440 --> 00:08:45.879 a good answer. The best thing to do is just be 00:08:45.879 --> 00:08:50.299 like, yeah, we hate them. Yeah. Whoever's responsible. 00:08:50.740 --> 00:08:53.019 Yeah, we hate them. I mean, fuck that. Nine out 00:08:53.019 --> 00:08:55.080 of ten times is usually me, probably. But, you 00:08:55.080 --> 00:09:01.039 know, let's move on. Now, next up on our roster 00:09:01.039 --> 00:09:03.120 of ghost moms who are just absolutely killing 00:09:03.120 --> 00:09:07.480 it is Uaya. Now, the story of Uaya comes straight 00:09:07.480 --> 00:09:09.759 out of Edo period Japan. And I have no idea if 00:09:09.759 --> 00:09:11.240 I'm pronouncing this right, but she's one of 00:09:11.240 --> 00:09:14.059 the OG on Rio. If you're unfamiliar with what 00:09:14.059 --> 00:09:16.480 on Rio are, they're vengeful spirits that come 00:09:16.480 --> 00:09:18.899 back from the dead to just royally fuck up the 00:09:18.899 --> 00:09:23.220 living. And her story is wild. So are you familiar 00:09:23.220 --> 00:09:26.299 with Ouya? I'm not. Okay. I've never heard of 00:09:26.299 --> 00:09:29.460 this. So the basic tale is that Ouya was a loyal 00:09:29.460 --> 00:09:32.059 wife who got disfigured and then murdered by 00:09:32.059 --> 00:09:33.899 her cheating husband who wanted to ditch her 00:09:33.899 --> 00:09:36.139 for a richer woman. Again, tale as old as time. 00:09:36.559 --> 00:09:39.879 Now, Jesus Christ. Now, depending on which... 00:09:40.490 --> 00:09:43.190 you know telling you get he either poisons her 00:09:43.190 --> 00:09:45.970 or tricks her into putting on like a disfiguring 00:09:45.970 --> 00:09:49.330 cream either way dick move all around you could 00:09:49.330 --> 00:09:50.769 just say you don't want to be with someone anymore 00:09:50.769 --> 00:09:53.450 way easier yeah just just end it don't be a douche 00:09:53.450 --> 00:09:56.909 about it yeah now when she dies she doesn't just 00:09:56.909 --> 00:10:02.240 haunt him she ruins his entire existence so Now 00:10:02.240 --> 00:10:04.120 the girl boss thing makes a lot of sense. Yeah, 00:10:04.120 --> 00:10:07.240 so her ghost appears with a melted, one -eyed 00:10:07.240 --> 00:10:10.139 face and long black hair dragging on the floor. 00:10:10.580 --> 00:10:13.559 She's terrifying, relentless, and pops up when 00:10:13.559 --> 00:10:16.799 you least expect it. So, like, out of lanterns, 00:10:16.799 --> 00:10:19.600 through sliding doors, mirrors... Wait, did you... 00:10:19.600 --> 00:10:21.960 I'm sorry, you said out of lanterns? Oh, yeah, 00:10:22.000 --> 00:10:23.620 this is... Is she a moth? You gotta remember, 00:10:23.759 --> 00:10:25.659 this is like... She's a ghost. She'll fucking 00:10:25.659 --> 00:10:27.789 pop... It's like, you know how, like... in the 00:10:27.789 --> 00:10:30.029 room. She comes out of a TV. It's shit like that. 00:10:30.750 --> 00:10:32.269 She'll come out of the toilet when you're taking 00:10:32.269 --> 00:10:34.629 a shit. Basically, wherever and whenever she 00:10:34.629 --> 00:10:38.149 can torment you, she will. Just imagine you walk 00:10:38.149 --> 00:10:40.730 into a room and your lamp stands up. She's still 00:10:40.730 --> 00:10:42.750 wearing the shade on her head. It's like the 00:10:42.750 --> 00:10:47.429 grudge. And by lantern, I don't mean that. I'm 00:10:47.429 --> 00:10:52.509 gonna get you. This is feudal Japan. Okay. You're 00:10:52.509 --> 00:10:55.250 right. So instead, she's just got that ball lantern 00:10:55.250 --> 00:10:59.750 on her head. This woman was tormented, Sarge. 00:10:59.750 --> 00:11:02.509 All right, come on, man. It's Mother's Day. Be 00:11:02.509 --> 00:11:09.149 respectful. She's also traditionally portrayed 00:11:09.149 --> 00:11:11.870 carrying the sorrow of a lost child as well. 00:11:11.889 --> 00:11:13.830 Some versions say her baby died from neglect 00:11:13.830 --> 00:11:16.129 or illness during the betrayal, which only fuels 00:11:16.129 --> 00:11:18.970 her rage. But there is kind of a fun fact in 00:11:18.970 --> 00:11:22.070 this bummer of a story. So let's say if you're 00:11:22.070 --> 00:11:25.169 performing her story on stage without performing 00:11:25.169 --> 00:11:27.789 the proper rituals, she might actually show up. 00:11:27.870 --> 00:11:30.649 And that's how deep her grudge goes. She'll break 00:11:30.649 --> 00:11:32.769 the fourth wall during your live show if you 00:11:32.769 --> 00:11:34.509 don't ask permission to tell her story. And I 00:11:34.509 --> 00:11:36.629 thought that was pretty fun. But yeah, so that's 00:11:36.629 --> 00:11:38.490 basically the boiled down version of her story. 00:11:38.690 --> 00:11:41.029 Kind of cool. It's like the grudge kind of like 00:11:41.029 --> 00:11:44.789 shit the ring. I love it. You ready to move on 00:11:44.789 --> 00:11:48.269 to our next? Next ghost mom? Bring it. Okay, 00:11:48.309 --> 00:11:50.129 so we're going to head to Eastern Europe for 00:11:50.129 --> 00:11:52.850 this next one where the vodka is cold, the winters 00:11:52.850 --> 00:11:55.049 are colder, and just like the moms at Milf Manor, 00:11:55.090 --> 00:11:57.429 these moms are not here to make friends. Yeah, 00:11:57.470 --> 00:11:59.470 and some of them have houses with chicken legs. 00:11:59.809 --> 00:12:01.730 Nope, wrong. We already did that one. We're not 00:12:01.730 --> 00:12:04.690 redoing that one. No, I know we're not redoing 00:12:04.690 --> 00:12:07.299 it, but that happens apparently. Well, no, this 00:12:07.299 --> 00:12:10.299 is the tale of Rasalka. Rasalka. Rasalka is a 00:12:10.299 --> 00:12:12.679 little more flexible in her backstory. She's 00:12:12.679 --> 00:12:14.759 kind of like a choose -your -own -horror -adventure 00:12:14.759 --> 00:12:17.379 kind of thing. Now, depending on what region 00:12:17.379 --> 00:12:19.179 you're in, you might get a different legend, 00:12:19.279 --> 00:12:21.320 but in some regions, especially parts of Russia, 00:12:21.460 --> 00:12:23.960 Ukraine, and Belarus, she's a bonafide ghost 00:12:23.960 --> 00:12:26.379 mom said to have died with sorrow in her heart. 00:12:26.519 --> 00:12:28.899 And she's got a name like a new medicine that 00:12:28.899 --> 00:12:30.960 gives you weird side effects, but you lose some 00:12:30.960 --> 00:12:35.889 weight. Get your life back with Rasalka. I found 00:12:35.889 --> 00:12:37.710 out there's a plural version of the word Rasalka. 00:12:38.490 --> 00:12:42.629 So sometimes she's a woman who died during childbirth 00:12:42.629 --> 00:12:45.669 or was drowned by her lover or her family. Other 00:12:45.669 --> 00:12:48.210 times she's a suicide victim, often a jilted 00:12:48.210 --> 00:12:50.470 bride or a young unwed mother who offed herself 00:12:50.470 --> 00:12:53.690 in a pond out of despair or shame. But it's that 00:12:53.690 --> 00:12:56.610 combo of sometimes maternal loss and betrayal 00:12:56.610 --> 00:12:58.590 that fueled her transformation from a weeping 00:12:58.590 --> 00:13:03.330 woman. into a siren of the waters so guys we 00:13:03.330 --> 00:13:05.450 gotta do better we're making a lot of ghost moms 00:13:05.450 --> 00:13:09.470 yeah it's not great so so what does she do well 00:13:09.470 --> 00:13:11.830 the resulco likes to hang out in lakes rivers 00:13:11.830 --> 00:13:13.730 and swamps so she can't fully come out of the 00:13:13.730 --> 00:13:16.269 water i found out okay it's in some stories so 00:13:16.269 --> 00:13:18.549 she just kind of like wades there um but she 00:13:18.549 --> 00:13:20.909 looks like a pale beautiful woman with long wet 00:13:20.909 --> 00:13:24.330 hair and just butt ass naked she lures men and 00:13:24.330 --> 00:13:27.000 children to the waters and then to Literally 00:13:27.000 --> 00:13:31.000 no one's surprise kills them. Sometimes it's 00:13:31.000 --> 00:13:33.840 by drowning. In other stories, she will tickle 00:13:33.840 --> 00:13:37.559 them to death, which is probably way worse than 00:13:37.559 --> 00:13:43.279 the drowning, I feel like. Or she will force 00:13:43.279 --> 00:13:45.759 them to participate in a frenzied dance until 00:13:45.759 --> 00:13:48.759 they die of fatigue. The last two are way worse 00:13:48.759 --> 00:13:50.360 than the drowning. Just fucking drown me, dude. 00:13:50.879 --> 00:13:54.279 Imagine having to do the cha -cha slide until 00:13:54.279 --> 00:13:58.870 you die. Slide to the left. Two stomps this time. 00:14:01.409 --> 00:14:04.370 Fuck, dude. But like I said, the story has many 00:14:04.370 --> 00:14:09.210 versions. In several of them, Rasalki, which 00:14:09.210 --> 00:14:12.049 is the plural version, are specifically the spirits 00:14:12.049 --> 00:14:14.970 of mothers who died before their time. Specifically, 00:14:15.090 --> 00:14:18.509 like... in childbirth or who had their babies 00:14:18.509 --> 00:14:21.490 taken from them so their grief anchors them to 00:14:21.490 --> 00:14:23.809 the world of the living just you know in the 00:14:23.809 --> 00:14:26.769 form of like a cold -blooded water demon uh but 00:14:26.769 --> 00:14:28.929 like let's put it this way like la llorona cries 00:14:28.929 --> 00:14:31.769 and searches for her kids the rasalka like hunts 00:14:31.769 --> 00:14:37.009 people because of what happened to her and then 00:14:37.009 --> 00:14:40.730 a uh uh fun fun bonus fact uh there's a tradition 00:14:40.730 --> 00:14:43.389 called rasalka week where swimming is strictly 00:14:43.389 --> 00:14:45.710 forbidden because the rasalki are believed to 00:14:45.950 --> 00:14:47.590 be at their most powerful. I think it's in June 00:14:47.590 --> 00:14:50.629 or something. Beginning of summer. Yeah, it's 00:14:50.629 --> 00:14:52.730 pretty cool. It's taking everything away from 00:14:52.730 --> 00:14:57.750 the Russians. Things are so bad there, they have 00:14:57.750 --> 00:14:59.830 to make their alcohol from potatoes, and now 00:14:59.830 --> 00:15:03.649 you can't swim during maybe one of the three 00:15:03.649 --> 00:15:07.490 weeks you can swim before the entire nation ices 00:15:07.490 --> 00:15:12.110 over. Yeah, but I mean, I don't remember what 00:15:12.110 --> 00:15:14.570 it said, but it said something like, The Rasalki 00:15:14.570 --> 00:15:20.769 will, at night, they'll swing from branch. They're 00:15:20.769 --> 00:15:22.450 basically just turned into monkeys and will swing 00:15:22.450 --> 00:15:25.289 from branches, like branch to branch. And then 00:15:25.289 --> 00:15:27.490 they'll, that's at night. And then during the 00:15:27.490 --> 00:15:29.110 day, they just swim in water and they'll just 00:15:29.110 --> 00:15:32.250 fucking pull you down when you're swimming. I 00:15:32.250 --> 00:15:34.570 don't know, dude. It's fucking wild. This could 00:15:34.570 --> 00:15:37.830 be a fun horror movie. I think I looked it up 00:15:37.830 --> 00:15:40.529 and there is. There's multiple horror movies. 00:15:41.149 --> 00:15:44.460 And then the horror porn crossover. Yeah, well, 00:15:44.559 --> 00:15:45.620 if you know anything about the internet, that 00:15:45.620 --> 00:15:49.159 has existed already for like... Rule 34. Exactly. 00:15:50.539 --> 00:15:53.179 All right, so for our final ghost bomb tale, 00:15:53.340 --> 00:15:56.039 we're going to go back to Japan to talk about 00:15:56.039 --> 00:15:58.299 the Ubumi. I think that's how you pronounce it. 00:15:58.480 --> 00:16:02.860 Ubumi? Ubumi? Ubumi. I think it's Ubumi. So picture 00:16:02.860 --> 00:16:05.289 this, Sarge. It's late at night. You're walking 00:16:05.289 --> 00:16:07.809 alone past a misty crossroads or an old bridge, 00:16:07.929 --> 00:16:10.330 just minding your own business, when a woman 00:16:10.330 --> 00:16:12.950 in tattered, blood -soaked robes appears, and 00:16:12.950 --> 00:16:15.230 out of nowhere, she's holding a crying baby. 00:16:15.649 --> 00:16:17.909 She begs you to take the child, and you do because 00:16:17.909 --> 00:16:20.490 you're not a monster, but the second she hands 00:16:20.490 --> 00:16:24.149 over the baby, she vanishes. And just as sudden, 00:16:24.289 --> 00:16:26.230 the infant that you're holding starts getting 00:16:26.230 --> 00:16:28.669 heavier and heavier until it's the weight of 00:16:28.669 --> 00:16:30.710 a boulder in your arms. And that's when you realize 00:16:30.710 --> 00:16:33.470 you just took a baby from a dead woman. You just 00:16:33.470 --> 00:16:39.840 got... Uba made. So it's like punk. This is also 00:16:39.840 --> 00:16:41.860 what happens when basketball players get a woman 00:16:41.860 --> 00:16:48.039 pregnant. So any who Uba is a classic figure 00:16:48.039 --> 00:16:50.360 in Japanese folklore. She is the spirit of a 00:16:50.360 --> 00:16:52.740 woman who died during childbirth and is filled 00:16:52.740 --> 00:16:55.480 with so much maternal regret and anguish that 00:16:55.480 --> 00:16:58.460 she can't move on. Her soul restless and obsessed 00:16:58.460 --> 00:17:00.580 with the child she never got to raise, or in 00:17:00.580 --> 00:17:03.059 some versions, the baby who died with her. Either 00:17:03.059 --> 00:17:04.960 way, she sticks around haunting the living and 00:17:04.960 --> 00:17:07.579 trying to get someone, pretty much anyone, to 00:17:07.579 --> 00:17:09.880 take care of her lost kid. Well, yeah, I mean, 00:17:09.880 --> 00:17:11.539 the baby just keeps getting heavier. What else 00:17:11.539 --> 00:17:14.400 are you going to do? So unlike other ghost moms, 00:17:14.779 --> 00:17:17.319 Uba Mae is more, for lack of a better term, pitiful 00:17:17.319 --> 00:17:19.220 than Predator. Like, you feel more sorry for 00:17:19.220 --> 00:17:21.579 her than... I don't know. I think she's kind 00:17:21.579 --> 00:17:23.839 of a dick for unloading a baby on everyone. But 00:17:23.839 --> 00:17:25.460 she's not like, look, she's not trying to kill 00:17:25.460 --> 00:17:27.190 anyone. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's true. 00:17:27.329 --> 00:17:29.650 You know, you just feel bad for her. Now, her 00:17:29.650 --> 00:17:32.210 haunting comes from sorrow, not spite. She's 00:17:32.210 --> 00:17:34.150 always described as being soaked in blood from 00:17:34.150 --> 00:17:36.450 the waist down, which is a not -so -subtle reference 00:17:36.450 --> 00:17:39.670 to dying in childbirth. And she's usually seen 00:17:39.670 --> 00:17:42.009 near bridges, riverbanks, or shrines, or any 00:17:42.009 --> 00:17:44.250 other sort of, like, liminal spaces where life 00:17:44.250 --> 00:17:47.069 and death are said to blur. Yeah. Now, there 00:17:47.069 --> 00:17:51.210 are two major flavors of Ubu Mei tales. First, 00:17:51.369 --> 00:17:53.990 as mentioned above, is the baby handoff. where 00:17:53.990 --> 00:17:55.450 she appears to strangers in the middle of the 00:17:55.450 --> 00:17:57.730 night, begging them to care for her child. If 00:17:57.730 --> 00:18:00.890 the person accepts the baby, she vanishes. Baby 00:18:00.890 --> 00:18:03.910 seems normal until it gets absurdly heavy, sometimes 00:18:03.910 --> 00:18:07.529 turning fully into stone or vanishing itself 00:18:07.529 --> 00:18:10.670 after becoming really heavy. The unlucky helper 00:18:10.670 --> 00:18:12.670 might find themselves after the encounter feeling 00:18:12.670 --> 00:18:16.230 exhausted, if lucky, or, if not so lucky, cursed. 00:18:17.529 --> 00:18:20.309 You know, one outcome definitely seems much better 00:18:20.309 --> 00:18:22.390 than the other, if you ask me. I mean, there 00:18:22.390 --> 00:18:24.190 are a few things that describe parenting more 00:18:24.190 --> 00:18:28.549 than an ancient curse. Yeah. Parenting, you feel 00:18:28.549 --> 00:18:33.170 exhausted and cursed. It's not one or the other. 00:18:33.289 --> 00:18:36.329 It's usually both. An amalgamation of the two. 00:18:36.430 --> 00:18:40.029 Yeah. So the other type of tale is something 00:18:40.029 --> 00:18:43.259 I like to call the shopping ghost mom. uh there 00:18:43.259 --> 00:18:46.740 so there are stories of a mysterious woman who 00:18:46.740 --> 00:18:49.079 would show up regularly at like a sweet shop 00:18:49.079 --> 00:18:51.559 or a kimono store and was always buying something 00:18:51.559 --> 00:18:54.680 for her baby now when the shopkeeper finally 00:18:54.680 --> 00:18:56.960 got like suspicious enough that they would follow 00:18:56.960 --> 00:18:58.980 her out of the store and they would discover 00:18:58.980 --> 00:19:01.240 that she's been visiting a grave this whole time 00:19:01.240 --> 00:19:03.519 and the items are left on a tombstone for a child 00:19:03.519 --> 00:19:07.759 that is long dead i don't mean like oh 20 years 00:19:07.759 --> 00:19:11.279 i mean like 100 like you know like Long dead. 00:19:11.500 --> 00:19:14.119 Okay, that's too much. Not great. Too many years. 00:19:14.440 --> 00:19:17.019 Yeah, a couple. At least a couple of years. It's 00:19:17.019 --> 00:19:21.019 like, come on, Ubume. Get over it. Fucking get 00:19:21.019 --> 00:19:26.259 over it. Jesus. You can't say that about Morning 00:19:26.259 --> 00:19:28.559 Mom, but you know, it's a ghost. It's a ghost. 00:19:28.640 --> 00:19:34.700 It's been 200 years, Stephanie. Now, some legends 00:19:34.700 --> 00:19:37.720 even say the Ubume can be benevolent if you treat 00:19:37.720 --> 00:19:40.240 her kindly. Okay. Like, let's say if you help 00:19:40.240 --> 00:19:42.779 her take care of her ghost baby, you might get 00:19:42.779 --> 00:19:45.319 a blessing. If you ignore her or throw the baby, 00:19:45.460 --> 00:19:48.119 which is one of the examples that I was seen 00:19:48.119 --> 00:19:51.059 that I saw while researching. Well, congrats. 00:19:51.059 --> 00:19:53.140 She's now your personal sleep paralysis demon. 00:19:53.259 --> 00:19:55.740 That's so, you know, I think that's true of any 00:19:55.740 --> 00:20:00.339 woman right after you throw her baby. It doesn't 00:20:00.339 --> 00:20:04.099 end well. Yeah. So, so yeah, moms, you know, 00:20:04.119 --> 00:20:06.460 they birth us, feed us, love us. And for most 00:20:06.460 --> 00:20:09.140 of us. They don't toss us in a river and come 00:20:09.140 --> 00:20:11.200 back as a vengeful spirit, which all things considered 00:20:11.200 --> 00:20:14.460 is pretty generous. So that's true. That's true. 00:20:14.500 --> 00:20:17.740 This Mother's Day, hug your mom or light a candle, 00:20:17.819 --> 00:20:19.720 you know, and at the very least, you know, just 00:20:19.720 --> 00:20:21.799 maybe don't piss her off near a body of water. 00:20:21.920 --> 00:20:23.599 Treat the moms in your life right. Otherwise, 00:20:23.680 --> 00:20:25.880 they're going to go and kill a lot of people. 00:20:26.099 --> 00:20:29.460 Exactly. So it's a lesson we learned today. But 00:20:29.460 --> 00:20:31.779 there you have it. That's all I had for you today. 00:20:32.019 --> 00:20:33.619 I just, you know, short and sweet, little fun, 00:20:33.700 --> 00:20:38.230 little episode. Mother's Day. That's it. That's 00:20:38.230 --> 00:20:41.190 all I got. Happy Mother's Day. Happy Mother's 00:20:41.190 --> 00:20:45.549 Day. I feel like I was Russian, but we did it. 00:20:45.589 --> 00:20:49.349 We got it done. There was a Russian story in 00:20:49.349 --> 00:20:50.869 there. There was a Russian story. So how are 00:20:50.869 --> 00:20:52.730 you feeling? What are you feeling? You probably 00:20:52.730 --> 00:20:56.089 know more about La Llorona than I do. Well, yeah. 00:20:56.170 --> 00:21:01.069 I just know that women are terrifying when you 00:21:01.069 --> 00:21:05.029 treat them like shit, which is, you know, accurate. 00:21:05.470 --> 00:21:07.960 Or if you toss a baby. If you toss their baby 00:21:07.960 --> 00:21:09.599 when they hand it to you, they'll let you know 00:21:09.599 --> 00:21:11.799 what's up. It's problematic. It's problematic. 00:21:12.119 --> 00:21:13.960 At the very least. It reminds me a little bit 00:21:13.960 --> 00:21:15.480 when you talked about the one in the sweet shop. 00:21:15.539 --> 00:21:22.119 It reminds me of a fairly modern story of a Japanese 00:21:22.119 --> 00:21:24.460 woman. If I remember correctly, she had a baby 00:21:24.460 --> 00:21:28.019 carriage. And she was in a shopping center in 00:21:28.019 --> 00:21:32.119 Japan. And she was asking this old man for help. 00:21:32.839 --> 00:21:36.450 And then she tried to... to like take his wallet 00:21:36.450 --> 00:21:39.789 okay and then when the man was trying to like 00:21:39.789 --> 00:21:42.549 pull his wallet back she kept shouting that he 00:21:42.549 --> 00:21:44.369 was trying to steal it from her like she kept 00:21:44.369 --> 00:21:47.910 calling him a thief police came tackled the dude 00:21:47.910 --> 00:21:51.029 the guy eventually died of a heart attack like 00:21:51.029 --> 00:21:53.490 in the struggle yeah yeah yeah oh god and then 00:21:53.490 --> 00:21:56.490 when you look at the video she's got this like 00:21:56.490 --> 00:21:59.710 horrifying like monster face and she just disappears 00:21:59.710 --> 00:22:02.819 so it's like that's like a combination of That 00:22:02.819 --> 00:22:05.160 and the other Japanese one. I can't remember 00:22:05.160 --> 00:22:09.339 the name. If you can find it, let me know. And 00:22:09.339 --> 00:22:10.599 also, if anyone listening, if you want me to 00:22:10.599 --> 00:22:12.619 do a full episode and expand on any of these, 00:22:12.700 --> 00:22:14.940 I will gladly do it. Everybody should look up 00:22:14.940 --> 00:22:20.440 the Jusco, J -U -S -C -O, ATM Phantom. The Jusco 00:22:20.440 --> 00:22:23.460 ATM Phantom? Yeah. I'm going to see if I can 00:22:23.460 --> 00:22:26.720 bring up a picture here so you can see the nightmare 00:22:26.720 --> 00:22:29.700 that I had after seeing her. I don't know if 00:22:29.700 --> 00:22:33.839 you're going to be able to see this. Ew. It's 00:22:33.839 --> 00:22:35.319 horrifying. Sarge, why would you show me that, 00:22:35.380 --> 00:22:37.680 dude? Absolutely horrifying. Sarge, I have to 00:22:37.680 --> 00:22:39.839 sleep tonight and then for the rest of my life. 00:22:40.660 --> 00:22:42.900 Yeah, so, I mean, maybe, though, you said that 00:22:42.900 --> 00:22:45.920 this, you know, these ghost moms haunt sweet 00:22:45.920 --> 00:22:49.200 shops. Maybe this is a new version. Maybe. Or 00:22:49.200 --> 00:22:50.579 maybe it's the same version. Maybe they just 00:22:50.579 --> 00:22:54.849 updated their tactics. They evolved. Yeah, you 00:22:54.849 --> 00:22:56.670 know, they're realizing times are changing. You 00:22:56.670 --> 00:22:58.069 can't just do the same old, same old. People 00:22:58.069 --> 00:22:59.069 catch on to your tricks. Times are changing. 00:22:59.470 --> 00:23:02.930 Yeah, you can't constantly be in sweet shops. 00:23:03.029 --> 00:23:05.450 Sometimes you need to go to the social plaza. 00:23:05.710 --> 00:23:08.869 Exactly. And also, sometimes ghosts need to visit 00:23:08.869 --> 00:23:13.329 the ATM, all right? Yeah, yeah. Pop down to the 00:23:13.329 --> 00:23:15.730 Mall of America, go to the Bank of America ATM. 00:23:16.250 --> 00:23:18.710 Yeah, exactly. You get what I'm saying. You get 00:23:18.710 --> 00:23:20.150 what I'm throwing down. You smell what I'm stepping 00:23:20.150 --> 00:23:22.690 on. I always smell what you're stepping in. So 00:23:22.690 --> 00:23:24.730 everybody out there, look up Jusco Phantom. That 00:23:24.730 --> 00:23:29.490 is a terrifying image that you won't sleep well 00:23:29.490 --> 00:23:31.490 after seeing it for like a night or two. She 00:23:31.490 --> 00:23:34.190 might even visit you and throw you a large baby 00:23:34.190 --> 00:23:36.410 that keeps growing. It doesn't keep growing. 00:23:36.509 --> 00:23:39.210 It just gets heavier. Okay. Well, that's even 00:23:39.210 --> 00:23:42.410 weirder. It's like the baby's made of antimatter. 00:23:42.509 --> 00:23:45.490 That'd be worse if the baby just got bigger and 00:23:45.490 --> 00:23:49.440 bigger and bigger. You see like in a Miyazaki 00:23:49.440 --> 00:23:51.980 film, like just some weird eventually the baby's 00:23:51.980 --> 00:23:54.640 like smoking a cigarette. Yeah, I don't I don't 00:23:54.640 --> 00:23:57.900 want that at all. Reminds me of when Will Ferrell 00:23:57.900 --> 00:24:03.339 does the skit on Saturday Night Live where he 00:24:03.339 --> 00:24:06.960 comes out as a full grown man. Yeah. It was hot 00:24:06.960 --> 00:24:14.339 in there. Oh, shit. All right. That's it. That's 00:24:14.339 --> 00:24:16.609 our Mother's Day episode. I think it went very 00:24:16.609 --> 00:24:18.670 well. Show your mom you love her by getting her 00:24:18.670 --> 00:24:21.730 a Narragansett lager. You dirty son of a bitch. 00:24:21.950 --> 00:24:23.630 Yeah. Or maybe, you know what? Maybe you get 00:24:23.630 --> 00:24:26.269 her... If your mom's or anything like my mom, 00:24:26.349 --> 00:24:28.609 they love to color, maybe you get her Sarge's 00:24:28.609 --> 00:24:30.930 Supernormal... There you go. You know what I 00:24:30.930 --> 00:24:32.869 mean? Head to sargesupernormal .com, pick up 00:24:32.869 --> 00:24:36.670 a coloring book. $9 .99. You can do so much with 00:24:36.670 --> 00:24:39.470 it. There's activities. There's a maze. Yeah. 00:24:39.829 --> 00:24:43.039 You can color or... and hear me out, you can 00:24:43.039 --> 00:24:45.440 use it to smack a Nazi. Oh, you could do that 00:24:45.440 --> 00:24:48.579 too. And if you film it, I'll give you a shout 00:24:48.579 --> 00:24:53.960 out on every episode of the show. If someone 00:24:53.960 --> 00:24:57.220 takes my coloring book, rolls it up, and smacks 00:24:57.220 --> 00:24:59.539 Matt Gaetz in the face, I'm not condoning violence. 00:25:00.500 --> 00:25:02.119 I'm just saying that would be something I would 00:25:02.119 --> 00:25:03.579 talk about for the rest of my life. You know, 00:25:03.680 --> 00:25:07.180 smack him in the face with it politically. Yeah, 00:25:07.200 --> 00:25:10.019 politically. Don't actually cause physical violence. 00:25:11.269 --> 00:25:14.190 Politically. Don't hit him on the side of the 00:25:14.190 --> 00:25:17.569 head or roll it up and smack him directly in 00:25:17.569 --> 00:25:19.869 the balls. Don't do that. I feel like if you 00:25:19.869 --> 00:25:22.369 hit him directly in the face, you wouldn't notice 00:25:22.369 --> 00:25:25.750 the stunned look when it happens because his 00:25:25.750 --> 00:25:27.390 eyeballs are always like that. He always looks 00:25:27.390 --> 00:25:30.349 stunned. Him and Tucker Carlson both look befuddled 00:25:30.349 --> 00:25:33.970 on a constant basis. I'm sure life is very confusing 00:25:33.970 --> 00:25:36.029 for both of them when you live in a world where 00:25:36.029 --> 00:25:38.730 everything is made up. They live in the world 00:25:38.730 --> 00:25:42.759 of... Uh, whose line is in anyways, everything's 00:25:42.759 --> 00:25:48.519 made up. Nothing matters. It's all right. All 00:25:48.519 --> 00:25:53.799 right. Well, yeah. Um, let's see. Uh, we covered 00:25:53.799 --> 00:25:55.660 the coloring book. We covered, tell your moms 00:25:55.660 --> 00:25:57.099 you love her. And if your mom's not with you 00:25:57.099 --> 00:25:59.720 anymore, we talked about that. Yeah. And if your 00:25:59.720 --> 00:26:01.380 mom's not with you anymore, if you don't talk 00:26:01.380 --> 00:26:03.839 to your mom, you know, maybe whatever role model 00:26:03.839 --> 00:26:05.299 you have in your life that filled that role, 00:26:05.420 --> 00:26:09.279 give her a hug or him a hug. Whoever was there. 00:26:10.329 --> 00:26:13.950 Show them you love them today. But yeah, that's 00:26:13.950 --> 00:26:16.589 it. That's all I got. Follow us. Instagram, Cryptic 00:26:16.589 --> 00:26:19.430 Cocktail. TikTok, Cryptic Cocktail Party. Leave 00:26:19.430 --> 00:26:21.329 us a rating and review. That'd be awesome. That's 00:26:21.329 --> 00:26:24.049 the best way to do anything. Help the show grow. 00:26:24.329 --> 00:26:27.410 And interact with all of our stuff. Instagram, 00:26:27.490 --> 00:26:29.470 TikTok. Share the episodes. Do whatever you gotta 00:26:29.470 --> 00:26:32.509 do. Let's get this fucking train rolling. Let's 00:26:32.509 --> 00:26:39.000 keep going. We got a big shout out from That 00:26:39.000 --> 00:26:42.380 podcast. I'm going to say the name wrong. I always 00:26:42.380 --> 00:26:43.880 say it wrong, and I don't want to be an idiot. 00:26:44.059 --> 00:26:46.420 It wasn't a big shout -out, and that's why we 00:26:46.420 --> 00:26:48.579 drink. It was a big shout -out. Shared one of 00:26:48.579 --> 00:26:52.539 our posts. That's all it was. That's a big shout 00:26:52.539 --> 00:26:54.559 -out. They didn't call us out by name, sorry. 00:26:54.640 --> 00:26:57.680 Just on a shout -out. Our names were in the post. 00:26:58.799 --> 00:27:01.460 We're splitting hairs. Okay, all right. This 00:27:01.460 --> 00:27:05.380 is a victory. Is there anything else you want 00:27:05.380 --> 00:27:07.779 to talk about before we sign off? No, that's 00:27:07.779 --> 00:27:12.619 it. I love you all. Even the dads, even though 00:27:12.619 --> 00:27:14.960 it's Mother's Day, I love the dads too. In a 00:27:14.960 --> 00:27:18.480 different way. We'll cut that part out. I love 00:27:18.480 --> 00:27:20.339 you. That's the end.