You are now listening to Cryptid Cocktail Party.
Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode
of Cryptic Cocktail Party, a show where we have
a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive
into the unknown. I'm your host Dave, joined
as always by my wonderful co -host Sarge. How's
it going Sarge? I'm doing fucking great! Woo!
Happy Mother's Day! Happy Mother's Day Sarge.
Take two! Take two. It's become a recurring theme,
but you know what? Sometimes we should probably
just stop acknowledging it, but you know, it
is what it is. But how's your Mother's Day going,
Sarge? It's great. I ran around. I brought flowers
to people, cards and stuff. Yeah, it's been a
day. It's been a day. But it was a good day,
and I'm ready to roll. Well, I'm sure your wife
and your mom and mother -in -law, I'm sure they
all appreciated everything you did for them today.
They certainly might have. That's the spirit.
I like that. Hell yeah. I didn't do anything.
I mean, I live in Philly. All my parents live
in New Hampshire, so it was just a couple 10
-minute phone calls. See, you've got the good
deal. You've got the good deal right there. All
you've got to do is make a phone call. Yeah,
it was nice. I mean, it's always nice to talk
to them. I mean, I talk to my mom every once
in a while, but I don't really call my stepmom
very often, so it was nice to catch up. She was
with my sister, so that was cool. I got to wish
her a happy Mother's Day. But yeah, happy Mother's
Day to all the... I know. Oh, yeah. We're recording
this on Mother's Day. It's going to come out
at midnight. You know what, though? There is
nothing more appropriate on Mother's Day than
a belated Happy Mother's Day because men forget
everything. So I think we actually did the right
thing here. I think this is kind of the perfect
segue into today's episode. Oh, we're doing an
episode on 40 -year -old men who forget stuff?
Well, I mean, kinda. I figured we'd do a Mother's
Day special. Okay. So, you ready to dive into
this wonderful world of Mother's Day? Yes, I
am beyond ready. It's not anything cool. It's
not like the origins of Mother's Day. It's not
like Valentine's Day where the origins are some
brutal, bloody, sacrificial thing. It's a lot
different. So, Mother's Day. A time to honor
the women who checked under our beds for monsters,
packed our lunches, kissed our scraped knees,
and somehow decidedly didn't smother us in our
sleep despite us being insufferable little shits.
That's true. It's about love, nurture, and safety.
So today, in honor of those that gave us life,
I figured we would celebrate Mother's Day the
only way we really could on this show, and that's
to talk about ghost moms. Ghost moms! Ghost moms!
You, as well as everyone, you're probably wondering,
what's a ghost mom, right? Yeah. That's a great
question. That would be helpful to know. I mean,
I'm guessing the word kind of defines itself.
Yeah. It's a mom that's a ghost, right? True,
but it could be like that. Was it Ghost Dad?
Was that a movie? Did I make that up? It was
a movie, though. Was that Bill Cosby? Yeah. Ah,
fuck. Yeah, so I think we all kind of want to
forget about that one. Yeah, but if you're wondering
what a ghost mom is, well, you're about to find
out. So, first. on the list of ghost moms, just
absolutely girl bossing it is La Llorona, AKA
the weeping woman. She's got the look, she's
got the cry and she is without a doubt, Latin
America's reigning queen of sorrow and misery.
So are you, you're familiar? Everyone's familiar
with La Llorona, right? I am very familiar. I
did a, a wonderful episode of the, of La Llorona.
and it was actually the most popular episode
of Citizens Guide to the Supernormal. Still is.
It's a great story. Now, as I'm sure you know
when you were doing your research, there are
a thousand iterations of the La Llorona story.
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. But the core legend, I guess,
it's all just kind of like circular. Circling
around a black hole of just misery, but it all
kind of boils down to this one core legend. That
Narragansett's really kicking in, huh, bro? Oh,
this is Neshaminy. My Narragansett's kicking
in. I'm drinking the Star Wars lager today. Oh,
that's fair. That's fair. Hey, I'm drinking it.
I found out the reason why I got a hand tattoo.
This is like 6 % alcohol. I had like 10 of these.
Sorry, mom. Like I was saying, there's a thousand
iterations of the La Llorona story, but the core
legend goes like this. A woman, usually named
Maria, is betrayed by the man she loves. Oftentimes,
it's a ranchero or a Spanish conquistador, basically
some rich asshole, who ends up ditching her and
their kids for someone, quote -unquote, more
respectable. Because Maria, even though she was
beautiful, humble, kind, she was also dirt poor.
socioeconomic status was way down there his way
up there you know it was just some son of a bitch
with like a pencil thin mustache and a white
suit the worst kind of mustache yeah yeah pencil
thin isn't like uh what's his name john waters
yes like that kind of pencil thin but not as
but not as lovable exactly probably just as fucking
disturbing but not as lovable. True. Um, but
yeah, so he ends up cheating on her, ditching
her for like a, he trades her in for a new model.
Tale as old as time, you know, those pieces of
shit, a Lee, a real Leonardo DiCaprio. So in
a fit of grief and rage and temporary madness,
she drowns her children in the river. Now, immediately
realizing what she has done, she either drowns
herself in that same river, uh, or just dies
from just being sad. because of it uh but instead
of moving on to the afterlife she's cursed to
wander the earth no longer as maria but as la
llorona crying out i miss heos i don't think
i pronounced that right i miss heos it basically
says it's basically like oh fuck where are my
kids loose translation doomed to search for the
souls of the kids she lost. Now, over the years,
the details of the story shift. Sometimes she's
a heartbroken lover. Sometimes she's possessed.
In some stories, her name isn't even Maria. And
in way earlier versions of the story, like the
Aztec legend that's kind of loosely related to
this, she wasn't even the killer. But the constants
of the story always stay the same. A woman in
white, soaked and sobbing. She's tied to water
and tragedy in an overwhelming sense of regret
turned wrath. So La Llorona is part cautionary
tale, part urban legend, and part spiritual landmine.
Like parents use her to scare kids away from
rivers, canals, late night parties, and a whole
host of bad decisions. And honestly, from what
I've gathered, it kind of works. It's also a
banging song. Is it? La Llorona. I don't think
that's how that goes. You know what? Now that
I think about it, you would be correct. It's
My Sharona. Yeah, but even skeptics who laugh
off ghost stories tense up when they hear sobbing
in the dark because La Llorona isn't just scary.
She's kind of sad. And that kind of combo of
a ghost story just kind of hits a little differently.
You know what I mean? Also, nothing makes me
run away faster than a crying woman. I can't
explain it. I just don't know what to do in those
situations. It's like in Talladega Nights when
he's like, I don't know what to do with my hands.
I have no idea how to handle a crying woman.
I am always bad at it. Oh, same. But what I've
learned for the most part is that they don't
want you to solve the reason why they're crying.
They just want you to listen to the reason that
they're crying. They don't want most women when
they're venting. They don't want solutions. They
just want you to listen to them rant. Yep. And
if any women listening, if you can confirm or
deny that, like, let me know I'm wrong, but I
feel like what I've learned and the reason why
I've been married for so long is that kind of
it. Because every time I try to fix the problems
or give solutions, it ends up turning hostile
towards me. It's never a good answer. It's never
a good answer. The best thing to do is just be
like, yeah, we hate them. Yeah. Whoever's responsible.
Yeah, we hate them. I mean, fuck that. Nine out
of ten times is usually me, probably. But, you
know, let's move on. Now, next up on our roster
of ghost moms who are just absolutely killing
it is Uaya. Now, the story of Uaya comes straight
out of Edo period Japan. And I have no idea if
I'm pronouncing this right, but she's one of
the OG on Rio. If you're unfamiliar with what
on Rio are, they're vengeful spirits that come
back from the dead to just royally fuck up the
living. And her story is wild. So are you familiar
with Ouya? I'm not. Okay. I've never heard of
this. So the basic tale is that Ouya was a loyal
wife who got disfigured and then murdered by
her cheating husband who wanted to ditch her
for a richer woman. Again, tale as old as time.
Now, Jesus Christ. Now, depending on which...
you know telling you get he either poisons her
or tricks her into putting on like a disfiguring
cream either way dick move all around you could
just say you don't want to be with someone anymore
way easier yeah just just end it don't be a douche
about it yeah now when she dies she doesn't just
haunt him she ruins his entire existence so Now
the girl boss thing makes a lot of sense. Yeah,
so her ghost appears with a melted, one -eyed
face and long black hair dragging on the floor.
She's terrifying, relentless, and pops up when
you least expect it. So, like, out of lanterns,
through sliding doors, mirrors... Wait, did you...
I'm sorry, you said out of lanterns? Oh, yeah,
this is... Is she a moth? You gotta remember,
this is like... She's a ghost. She'll fucking
pop... It's like, you know how, like... in the
room. She comes out of a TV. It's shit like that.
She'll come out of the toilet when you're taking
a shit. Basically, wherever and whenever she
can torment you, she will. Just imagine you walk
into a room and your lamp stands up. She's still
wearing the shade on her head. It's like the
grudge. And by lantern, I don't mean that. I'm
gonna get you. This is feudal Japan. Okay. You're
right. So instead, she's just got that ball lantern
on her head. This woman was tormented, Sarge.
All right, come on, man. It's Mother's Day. Be
respectful. She's also traditionally portrayed
carrying the sorrow of a lost child as well.
Some versions say her baby died from neglect
or illness during the betrayal, which only fuels
her rage. But there is kind of a fun fact in
this bummer of a story. So let's say if you're
performing her story on stage without performing
the proper rituals, she might actually show up.
And that's how deep her grudge goes. She'll break
the fourth wall during your live show if you
don't ask permission to tell her story. And I
thought that was pretty fun. But yeah, so that's
basically the boiled down version of her story.
Kind of cool. It's like the grudge kind of like
shit the ring. I love it. You ready to move on
to our next? Next ghost mom? Bring it. Okay,
so we're going to head to Eastern Europe for
this next one where the vodka is cold, the winters
are colder, and just like the moms at Milf Manor,
these moms are not here to make friends. Yeah,
and some of them have houses with chicken legs.
Nope, wrong. We already did that one. We're not
redoing that one. No, I know we're not redoing
it, but that happens apparently. Well, no, this
is the tale of Rasalka. Rasalka. Rasalka is a
little more flexible in her backstory. She's
kind of like a choose -your -own -horror -adventure
kind of thing. Now, depending on what region
you're in, you might get a different legend,
but in some regions, especially parts of Russia,
Ukraine, and Belarus, she's a bonafide ghost
mom said to have died with sorrow in her heart.
And she's got a name like a new medicine that
gives you weird side effects, but you lose some
weight. Get your life back with Rasalka. I found
out there's a plural version of the word Rasalka.
So sometimes she's a woman who died during childbirth
or was drowned by her lover or her family. Other
times she's a suicide victim, often a jilted
bride or a young unwed mother who offed herself
in a pond out of despair or shame. But it's that
combo of sometimes maternal loss and betrayal
that fueled her transformation from a weeping
woman. into a siren of the waters so guys we
gotta do better we're making a lot of ghost moms
yeah it's not great so so what does she do well
the resulco likes to hang out in lakes rivers
and swamps so she can't fully come out of the
water i found out okay it's in some stories so
she just kind of like wades there um but she
looks like a pale beautiful woman with long wet
hair and just butt ass naked she lures men and
children to the waters and then to Literally
no one's surprise kills them. Sometimes it's
by drowning. In other stories, she will tickle
them to death, which is probably way worse than
the drowning, I feel like. Or she will force
them to participate in a frenzied dance until
they die of fatigue. The last two are way worse
than the drowning. Just fucking drown me, dude.
Imagine having to do the cha -cha slide until
you die. Slide to the left. Two stomps this time.
Fuck, dude. But like I said, the story has many
versions. In several of them, Rasalki, which
is the plural version, are specifically the spirits
of mothers who died before their time. Specifically,
like... in childbirth or who had their babies
taken from them so their grief anchors them to
the world of the living just you know in the
form of like a cold -blooded water demon uh but
like let's put it this way like la llorona cries
and searches for her kids the rasalka like hunts
people because of what happened to her and then
a uh uh fun fun bonus fact uh there's a tradition
called rasalka week where swimming is strictly
forbidden because the rasalki are believed to
be at their most powerful. I think it's in June
or something. Beginning of summer. Yeah, it's
pretty cool. It's taking everything away from
the Russians. Things are so bad there, they have
to make their alcohol from potatoes, and now
you can't swim during maybe one of the three
weeks you can swim before the entire nation ices
over. Yeah, but I mean, I don't remember what
it said, but it said something like, The Rasalki
will, at night, they'll swing from branch. They're
basically just turned into monkeys and will swing
from branches, like branch to branch. And then
they'll, that's at night. And then during the
day, they just swim in water and they'll just
fucking pull you down when you're swimming. I
don't know, dude. It's fucking wild. This could
be a fun horror movie. I think I looked it up
and there is. There's multiple horror movies.
And then the horror porn crossover. Yeah, well,
if you know anything about the internet, that
has existed already for like... Rule 34. Exactly.
All right, so for our final ghost bomb tale,
we're going to go back to Japan to talk about
the Ubumi. I think that's how you pronounce it.
Ubumi? Ubumi? Ubumi. I think it's Ubumi. So picture
this, Sarge. It's late at night. You're walking
alone past a misty crossroads or an old bridge,
just minding your own business, when a woman
in tattered, blood -soaked robes appears, and
out of nowhere, she's holding a crying baby.
She begs you to take the child, and you do because
you're not a monster, but the second she hands
over the baby, she vanishes. And just as sudden,
the infant that you're holding starts getting
heavier and heavier until it's the weight of
a boulder in your arms. And that's when you realize
you just took a baby from a dead woman. You just
got... Uba made. So it's like punk. This is also
what happens when basketball players get a woman
pregnant. So any who Uba is a classic figure
in Japanese folklore. She is the spirit of a
woman who died during childbirth and is filled
with so much maternal regret and anguish that
she can't move on. Her soul restless and obsessed
with the child she never got to raise, or in
some versions, the baby who died with her. Either
way, she sticks around haunting the living and
trying to get someone, pretty much anyone, to
take care of her lost kid. Well, yeah, I mean,
the baby just keeps getting heavier. What else
are you going to do? So unlike other ghost moms,
Uba Mae is more, for lack of a better term, pitiful
than Predator. Like, you feel more sorry for
her than... I don't know. I think she's kind
of a dick for unloading a baby on everyone. But
she's not like, look, she's not trying to kill
anyone. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's true.
You know, you just feel bad for her. Now, her
haunting comes from sorrow, not spite. She's
always described as being soaked in blood from
the waist down, which is a not -so -subtle reference
to dying in childbirth. And she's usually seen
near bridges, riverbanks, or shrines, or any
other sort of, like, liminal spaces where life
and death are said to blur. Yeah. Now, there
are two major flavors of Ubu Mei tales. First,
as mentioned above, is the baby handoff. where
she appears to strangers in the middle of the
night, begging them to care for her child. If
the person accepts the baby, she vanishes. Baby
seems normal until it gets absurdly heavy, sometimes
turning fully into stone or vanishing itself
after becoming really heavy. The unlucky helper
might find themselves after the encounter feeling
exhausted, if lucky, or, if not so lucky, cursed.
You know, one outcome definitely seems much better
than the other, if you ask me. I mean, there
are a few things that describe parenting more
than an ancient curse. Yeah. Parenting, you feel
exhausted and cursed. It's not one or the other.
It's usually both. An amalgamation of the two.
Yeah. So the other type of tale is something
I like to call the shopping ghost mom. uh there
so there are stories of a mysterious woman who
would show up regularly at like a sweet shop
or a kimono store and was always buying something
for her baby now when the shopkeeper finally
got like suspicious enough that they would follow
her out of the store and they would discover
that she's been visiting a grave this whole time
and the items are left on a tombstone for a child
that is long dead i don't mean like oh 20 years
i mean like 100 like you know like Long dead.
Okay, that's too much. Not great. Too many years.
Yeah, a couple. At least a couple of years. It's
like, come on, Ubume. Get over it. Fucking get
over it. Jesus. You can't say that about Morning
Mom, but you know, it's a ghost. It's a ghost.
It's been 200 years, Stephanie. Now, some legends
even say the Ubume can be benevolent if you treat
her kindly. Okay. Like, let's say if you help
her take care of her ghost baby, you might get
a blessing. If you ignore her or throw the baby,
which is one of the examples that I was seen
that I saw while researching. Well, congrats.
She's now your personal sleep paralysis demon.
That's so, you know, I think that's true of any
woman right after you throw her baby. It doesn't
end well. Yeah. So, so yeah, moms, you know,
they birth us, feed us, love us. And for most
of us. They don't toss us in a river and come
back as a vengeful spirit, which all things considered
is pretty generous. So that's true. That's true.
This Mother's Day, hug your mom or light a candle,
you know, and at the very least, you know, just
maybe don't piss her off near a body of water.
Treat the moms in your life right. Otherwise,
they're going to go and kill a lot of people.
Exactly. So it's a lesson we learned today. But
there you have it. That's all I had for you today.
I just, you know, short and sweet, little fun,
little episode. Mother's Day. That's it. That's
all I got. Happy Mother's Day. Happy Mother's
Day. I feel like I was Russian, but we did it.
We got it done. There was a Russian story in
there. There was a Russian story. So how are
you feeling? What are you feeling? You probably
know more about La Llorona than I do. Well, yeah.
I just know that women are terrifying when you
treat them like shit, which is, you know, accurate.
Or if you toss a baby. If you toss their baby
when they hand it to you, they'll let you know
what's up. It's problematic. It's problematic.
At the very least. It reminds me a little bit
when you talked about the one in the sweet shop.
It reminds me of a fairly modern story of a Japanese
woman. If I remember correctly, she had a baby
carriage. And she was in a shopping center in
Japan. And she was asking this old man for help.
And then she tried to... to like take his wallet
okay and then when the man was trying to like
pull his wallet back she kept shouting that he
was trying to steal it from her like she kept
calling him a thief police came tackled the dude
the guy eventually died of a heart attack like
in the struggle yeah yeah yeah oh god and then
when you look at the video she's got this like
horrifying like monster face and she just disappears
so it's like that's like a combination of That
and the other Japanese one. I can't remember
the name. If you can find it, let me know. And
also, if anyone listening, if you want me to
do a full episode and expand on any of these,
I will gladly do it. Everybody should look up
the Jusco, J -U -S -C -O, ATM Phantom. The Jusco
ATM Phantom? Yeah. I'm going to see if I can
bring up a picture here so you can see the nightmare
that I had after seeing her. I don't know if
you're going to be able to see this. Ew. It's
horrifying. Sarge, why would you show me that,
dude? Absolutely horrifying. Sarge, I have to
sleep tonight and then for the rest of my life.
Yeah, so, I mean, maybe, though, you said that
this, you know, these ghost moms haunt sweet
shops. Maybe this is a new version. Maybe. Or
maybe it's the same version. Maybe they just
updated their tactics. They evolved. Yeah, you
know, they're realizing times are changing. You
can't just do the same old, same old. People
catch on to your tricks. Times are changing.
Yeah, you can't constantly be in sweet shops.
Sometimes you need to go to the social plaza.
Exactly. And also, sometimes ghosts need to visit
the ATM, all right? Yeah, yeah. Pop down to the
Mall of America, go to the Bank of America ATM.
Yeah, exactly. You get what I'm saying. You get
what I'm throwing down. You smell what I'm stepping
on. I always smell what you're stepping in. So
everybody out there, look up Jusco Phantom. That
is a terrifying image that you won't sleep well
after seeing it for like a night or two. She
might even visit you and throw you a large baby
that keeps growing. It doesn't keep growing.
It just gets heavier. Okay. Well, that's even
weirder. It's like the baby's made of antimatter.
That'd be worse if the baby just got bigger and
bigger and bigger. You see like in a Miyazaki
film, like just some weird eventually the baby's
like smoking a cigarette. Yeah, I don't I don't
want that at all. Reminds me of when Will Ferrell
does the skit on Saturday Night Live where he
comes out as a full grown man. Yeah. It was hot
in there. Oh, shit. All right. That's it. That's
our Mother's Day episode. I think it went very
well. Show your mom you love her by getting her
a Narragansett lager. You dirty son of a bitch.
Yeah. Or maybe, you know what? Maybe you get
her... If your mom's or anything like my mom,
they love to color, maybe you get her Sarge's
Supernormal... There you go. You know what I
mean? Head to sargesupernormal .com, pick up
a coloring book. $9 .99. You can do so much with
it. There's activities. There's a maze. Yeah.
You can color or... and hear me out, you can
use it to smack a Nazi. Oh, you could do that
too. And if you film it, I'll give you a shout
out on every episode of the show. If someone
takes my coloring book, rolls it up, and smacks
Matt Gaetz in the face, I'm not condoning violence.
I'm just saying that would be something I would
talk about for the rest of my life. You know,
smack him in the face with it politically. Yeah,
politically. Don't actually cause physical violence.
Politically. Don't hit him on the side of the
head or roll it up and smack him directly in
the balls. Don't do that. I feel like if you
hit him directly in the face, you wouldn't notice
the stunned look when it happens because his
eyeballs are always like that. He always looks
stunned. Him and Tucker Carlson both look befuddled
on a constant basis. I'm sure life is very confusing
for both of them when you live in a world where
everything is made up. They live in the world
of... Uh, whose line is in anyways, everything's
made up. Nothing matters. It's all right. All
right. Well, yeah. Um, let's see. Uh, we covered
the coloring book. We covered, tell your moms
you love her. And if your mom's not with you
anymore, we talked about that. Yeah. And if your
mom's not with you anymore, if you don't talk
to your mom, you know, maybe whatever role model
you have in your life that filled that role,
give her a hug or him a hug. Whoever was there.
Show them you love them today. But yeah, that's
it. That's all I got. Follow us. Instagram, Cryptic
Cocktail. TikTok, Cryptic Cocktail Party. Leave
us a rating and review. That'd be awesome. That's
the best way to do anything. Help the show grow.
And interact with all of our stuff. Instagram,
TikTok. Share the episodes. Do whatever you gotta
do. Let's get this fucking train rolling. Let's
keep going. We got a big shout out from That
podcast. I'm going to say the name wrong. I always
say it wrong, and I don't want to be an idiot.
It wasn't a big shout -out, and that's why we
drink. It was a big shout -out. Shared one of
our posts. That's all it was. That's a big shout
-out. They didn't call us out by name, sorry.
Just on a shout -out. Our names were in the post.
We're splitting hairs. Okay, all right. This
is a victory. Is there anything else you want
to talk about before we sign off? No, that's
it. I love you all. Even the dads, even though
it's Mother's Day, I love the dads too. In a
different way. We'll cut that part out. I love
you. That's the end.