I'll do it in post. You are now listening to
cryptid cocktail party. Welcome back, everybody,
to another episode. No, that's not. I don't like
that one. I don't like that one. Hey, everybody.
Welcome back to another episode of Cryptic Cocktail
Party, a show where we have a few drinks, share
a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown. I'm
your host, Dave. Joined, as always, by my wonderful
co -host, Sarge. How's it going, buddy? What's
going on? Here I am. In all my average dick energy.
I don't know why, but for some reason, when you
said, here I am, I just thought of that. It was
like Kelly Clarkson. There I am once again. Oh
my God. I almost forgot about that song. For
some reason, that was the first thing that popped
in my head. But yeah, Sarge is coming in today
with average dick energy. Just very low key.
Very chill. I feel like I'm content. I'm content.
I'm bringing it's a good size energy to the show
today. That's a good feeling to have, I feel
like. Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. No, I think it's,
I mean, I'm okay with it. I mean, honestly, I'd
prefer that than low or small. Yeah, exactly.
Small dick energy is when you... I don't want
small dick energy. If I did that, I would have
to become a conservative. I'd have to buy a lot
of red hats. I don't want to do that. So today
we were out running errands. We were at Home
Depot because we got an umbrella, like a patio
umbrella, which is way too big for my tiny patio
in Philadelphia. But we needed to get a base
for it because the base we got was too small.
um and some fucking douchebag in a truck like
drove through the parking lot like an asshole
and my only thought was wow such a big truck
for such a small dick for some who need you don't
need a truck that big you live in fucking philadelphia
where are you driving i know i see the same shit
in boston and i'm like dude what are you doing
as it is the streets aren't big enough for pedestrians
no because it's just like Boston, Philadelphia,
all of our streets were made for horses and horse
carriages. And then they just paved over it.
Like half the two way streets should not be like,
it's insane. Agreed. But you don't need a fucking
H2 Hummer when you live in the city. It's not
the apocalypse, you fucking clown. You're going
to brunch. Dude, but also like the gas, like
stop go traffic is terrible for your gas mileage.
I can only imagine what a giant fucking gas guzzling
truck is doing when you have a stop sign every
block. It's ridiculous. It is way too much truck
for anybody. Yeah. Well, so I guess that being
said, thank you for having average dick energy
and not small dick. Thank you. Here we are having
an old man screaming match. I feel like this
is the exact kind of conversation that happens
in the sauna at my gym. Yeah, we're basically
having the modern day version of kids on my lawn,
but now it's... Yeah, exactly. That truck is
too goddamn big. Who needs a truck that big?
It's not far off. Fuck it, dude. I feel like
that's way more... We should be complaining about
that. We're speaking of practicalities, and that
is an impractical vehicle for a city. Yeah. Wildly.
Yeah. Considering the amount of tight turns you
got to take a ship. I don't know. Whatever. It's
ridiculous. Three point turn to take a left.
Just, you know, just a couple of middle -aged
men on a cryptic podcast complaining about trucks.
Just what it is. You know, some, some days. What
I like about this show is that you and I are
slowly starting to look more and more like each
other. Hey, it's kind of like when you have a
pet, like a dog. Yeah. And you kind of morph
into the, yeah, it's kind of that vibe. I, you
know, but hey, I fuck with it. Are those elderly
couples that just at some point start to look
like bookends, like one would look weird without
the other one? Oh, fuck. All right. Good thing
we chose to do a second take on this episode.
We had some technical difficulties. It's every
episode, but it was weird today. I don't know.
Maybe I'm just hearing things differently. You
guys missed an enthralling discussion about penises.
Did they? I feel like they did. Whether or not
they wanted to hear it, I don't know. Let me
know if you guys want to hear it. I could edit
it out and just send it to you directly. Some
pointed criticism directed towards Steven Seagal's
entire catalog. Well, we haven't gotten there
yet. We haven't gotten there yet. Oh, okay. We'll
get there. We can still talk about that. That's
true. Make sure you cut this part out. All right,
Sarge. I got an episode for you today. We're
going to go back to our roots. We've been covering
a lot of cryptid -adjacent things, which, I mean,
I guess makes sense for the show. It's a cryptid
cocktail party. It's a cocktail of all different
things paranormal and weird and shit. We haven't
talked about a straight -up cryptid in a long
time. And I feel like it's because we ran out
of them. We didn't run out of them. It's just
that like a lot of people don't know this, but
like your favorite cryptid, if you're listening
to this, probably the, the amount of information
behind it isn't enough to constitute a full episode.
And I'm not going to do a bunch of random, like
three cryptid episodes. I don't think that's
fun for me. I've done it before. It's whatever,
but I did find something super crazy, fucking
weird. And I think you're going to enjoy it.
So, Sarge, are you ready to hear a story? Yes.
Okay. So, today we're going to be talking about
The Glimmer Man. Are you familiar? The movie
with Steven Seagal and Damon Wayans? It's not
that. Okay. Good. Because that movie was butt
cheeks. I believe it. But this is how the last
conversation started. But it came out in 96.
And I will repeat this again for everyone listening.
to this for the first time is that 96 was like
peak, peak Seagal. Was there ever really a peak
for Seagal? I feel like there was under siege
and then that was it. No, I mean, yeah, that
movie ruled though. I know you're going to come
back with the whole, but it has Tommy Lee Jones
in it. That doesn't mean that's because it had
Tommy Lee Jones in it. Yeah, but he was also
in man of the house. So, I mean, That's true.
Actually, yeah, that's fair. He also did Batman
and Robin, and we can't really forgive that one.
So you're not familiar with this at all? You
have no idea what I'm talking about? No, I've
never heard of it. I'm actually really excited.
Okay, so the Glimmer Man is... I don't really
know. Elton John from the 1970s. No, but I...
Just tons of sequins all the way down, head to
toe. Nothing to do with... You're thinking about
this all wrong. You're thinking about it as something
that's shining. Don't think about it as something
that refracts. Just chill. Just wait. Got it.
Just calm down. This is not the crab from Moana.
No. Sarge, you're no longer average dick energy
right now. You're coming in hot. All right? I
need you to fucking... Above average dick energy.
Yes. All right? I was just trying to shoehorn
as many references into the show as possible.
Yeah, we're eight minutes in. I think most people
are going to turn off by now. Except for the
Seagal fans. Yeah. Well, no, they're probably
mad at you now, so they don't, whatever. Fuck
it, you're Russians anyway. So the Glimmer Man
is, I don't know what it is. No one knows what
this thing is. The best way I can describe it
is that it pretty much is like a human -shaped
glitch in the air, if that makes sense. People
who see it all described it the same way. A tall,
invisible figure that you can't really see. you
can kind of only like spot it because the air
around it bends and shimmers almost like looking
through heat waves. Like when the blacktop gets
too hot, I'll like, and forgive me the predator.
No, that's like an accurate reference. I feel
no. Oh, God damn it. So Sarge, what I want you
to do is I want you to think of it basically
like the predators cloaking device, but in real
life, you son of a bitch. It's my own fault.
I should have anticipated that you would put
that in the script. Again, Sarge, you're coming
in with above average dick energy. You got to
let me get through my sentences. All right? Again,
we've gone time and time again, Sarge. You know
that I would never string you along without a
payoff. All right? Sorry, I have trust issues.
That sucks. What's worse is that it's rarely
just standing there. It moves. And it moves very
fast. Some would say unnaturally fast, through
trees, across fields, even running right up and
peering into people's windows. Then there's the
combination of the sound that it makes and the
lack of when it's near. Most people who have
encountered it say that right before, everything
goes dead silent. So no birds, no bugs, and a
gut feeling that you're being watched. And then
some people say they hear a weird clicking noise,
like the thing is either trying to communicate
and or mess with them. So you weren't wrong to
just immediately think Predator. But we'll get
into it. We'll get into it. Don't look at me
like that. I'm not going to say it. I'm not going
to say it. What are you going to say? I'm just
enjoying the ride. What are you going to say?
You have free reign. No, no, no. I mean, like,
I'm not. I've cleared my mind, and I'm just accepting
the information that you're plugging into it.
Because now I'm really enthralled. And the thing
is, this is even more fucking scary to me. Because
at least with, like, Bigfoot or fucking Chupacabra,
I know I can see it. yeah no that's this guy
i can't see him unless he moves yeah it's a nightmare
it's all bad none of this nothing in this story
is good so so yeah nobody knows or even agrees
with like what the glimmer man is but the basics
are the same across all stories it's roughly
human shaped uh it bends the air around it just
like the predator it's seen mostly in forested
or wild areas and it's scary as fuck so you ready
to dive into some sightings You want to? God
damn. Yes. Now what's wild is that there are
a lot more of these sightings than you would
think there would be. This actually has been
going back for like 40 years or so. Oh, snap.
Yeah. So like before predator came out, but I
narrowed some of the settings down to what I
would call like the top three glimmer man moments
in no real order. The first one. I mean, I guess
I can't say it's an order, but this one's the
worst one. I should have probably put it last.
I don't know why I didn't. But the first one
I got for you takes place in the early 90s in
rural western New York. So two boys whose names
were never released were exploring a patch of
quote unquote forever wild woods near Rochester,
New York. Forever wild means that's like untouched.
Like it's like, okay, okay, it's gonna and it's
probably gonna remain that way. If that makes
sense. Gotcha. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they were
just roaming around these woods when suddenly
they were hit with an overwhelming gut -level
primal fear. They didn't see anything but decided,
let's fucking, let's dip. And then they just
bolted home. Unfortunately for them, though,
this wasn't the end of it. That night, one of
the boys woke up being dragged towards an open
second -story window by something invisible.
In the commotion of it all, the other boy woke
up, looked over, and saw a massive human -shaped
distortion, like a clear shimmering figure warping
the air around it. It had the boy by both arms
and was almost to the window when it must have
either noticed the kid or something because it
suddenly let go and then just disappeared. You
know what happened? Jesse Ventura was holding
a Gatling gun in the woods and he just growled.
I ain't got time to bleed. Okay. I'm glad you
said that line and not a sexual Tyrannosaur.
Because I feel like that would have been way
worse to say when you knew your two kids almost
getting abducted. Though I wouldn't put it past
Jesse Ventura to say that in an inappropriate
time. True. It's true. Now, the boys were so
rattled that they didn't talk about it for months.
when they finally did open up about what happened
they both described the same thing a predator
like shimmering creature so what's wild about
this case and why it stands out over all the
others because this wasn't just like a sighting
or a glimpse like this motherfucker like the
glimmer man he fucking like stalked these kids
home made physical contact and then tried to
kidnap this child which is not great yeah no
that's problematic it's now next up We have in
the winter of 2002, two men, Joseph and his friend
Troy, decided to explore the ruins of a long
abandoned U .S. Air Force radar station outside
of Brookfield, Ohio. Well, that's your first
mistake. No. The base had been dead for about
like 15 years, maybe longer. There was no power,
just crumbling buildings and snowy fields surrounded
by brush. Inside one of the buildings, they heard
something that... It was like a series of weird
electronic beeps. Tracking the noise down, they
found a shoebox -sized metallic device half buried
under debris. There was no lights on it, no wires.
There was no clear power source. But something
about it felt kind of off. Like it was too new,
too out of place to be in a building that was
dilapidated the way it was. So feeling a bit
uneasy about the whole thing, they decided to
bail. As they cut across the open snow field
heading back toward the perimeter fence, they
saw fresh footprints forming right behind them.
There was no body, no shadow, just deep human
-sized prints appearing in the snow, pacing them
at about 30 to 40 feet back. Oh, that's fucked
up. I don't know why that bothers me, but it
really does. It's not great. Now, Joseph squinted
and caught sight of a shimmering human -shaped
distortion, like a heat mirage, but it's winter,
so that doesn't make any sense. He raised his
rifle, and that's when things got a little out
of hand. Yeah, and he looked steely -eyed and
was like, if it bleeds, we can kill it. So from
the brush off to the side, they heard a massive
crashing sound like a truck ripping through the
undergrowth. It sounded like something huge barreling
through ground level brush and it was heading
straight for them. They didn't wait to see what
happened next. They were just like, fuck it,
we're going. So they sprinted to a hole in the
chain link fence and then dove through it. When
they looked back, the shimmer, whatever it was,
had stopped cold at the fence line. It wouldn't
or possibly couldn't. cross through. Seconds
later, it was gone, vanished into thin air. Wait,
hold on. I feel like you buried the lead here.
I'm not trying to like... The fact that it wouldn't
go through a hole in the fence... Was it wearing
one of those dog collars? There's stuff buried
in the ground. There's a weird noise when he
crosses it. Alright, so... some people think
that maybe the device the box they found maybe
that's like a range thing oh or maybe like gotcha
it's we'll get into it but maybe it's like a
military thing you know what i mean no more like
so like it could be like maybe like yeah maybe
it is a perimeter thing like i can't leave the
military installation i fucking don't know dude
uh that's immediately where my mind went is i'm
like oh maybe it's wearing one of those collars
it's like Like an invisible fence collar. It's
an attack predator. All right. So lastly, we
got what I dubbed the military spouse encounters.
Now, these took place between 2015 and 2017,
where a woman living at Holloman Air Force Base
had two encounters with a glimmer man. The first
encounter happened while jogging with her husband
one evening when they both spotted a large, semi
-transparent figure in the desert between them
and the airfield. She described it as tall, human
-shaped, and mostly invisible. She said it kind
of looked like clear cling wrap that would distort
the bushes behind it. Now, the husband, an active
-duty military man, immediately told her, don't
look at it. just keep walking. And that's what
they did. They just put their heads down and
left the area without acknowledging it any further.
She was later as quoted. She was later quoted
as saying the jungle. It just came alive and
took him. Is that what you've been doing this
whole time? Are you Googling predator quotes?
Maybe. No, God damn it. Motherfucker. I saw you
keep looking down, and I didn't know what you
were doing, but now it all makes sense. Okay,
sorry. I'm done now. Now, the second incident
is way worse, and I hate it. That same woman,
just wanting to let in the bright desert sun,
opened up her bedroom blinds and then saw the
same shimmering figure standing right outside
her window. Just a tall humanoid distortion hanging
out, just fucking peering. Freaked out, she slammed
the blinds shut and stayed hidden until she was
sure this thing had left. Now, when she later
pressed her husband about both incidents, he
did what any career military man would do, and
he gaslit the shit out of her and denied everything,
even though he had just seen it too and acknowledged
it during their jog. But given the proximity
to a base known for high -tech weapons and UFO
lore, the woman believed that what she might
have seen With some sort of classified military
cloaking technology or maybe even something out
of this world. You see, I disagree. I feel like
any true military man would immediately try to
shoot whatever this is. I mean, without for a
jog on the base, I don't think they're just carrying
around a pistol. I know a lot of military men
who do carry around a pistol just for funsies.
When they're jogging, like just in their fucking
trainers. These guys will find a way to carry
a gun. I mean, that's fair. No, I mean, in all
reality, I don't think he would, like, you know,
try to shoot it while he was out for a jog. But
if it came on his porch... He wasn't home. Oh,
now I'm sorry. I thought what you had said is
that, like, she saw it, and then he was immediately
like, nah, you didn't see it. That was when they
were jogging in the woods. Again, you were too
busy looking up quotes to... No, no, not the
second story. The second story was very present.
Okay, so... So what is the Glimmer Man and where
the fuck does it even come from? Well, it's probably
no surprise that the Glimmer Man is a modern
phenomenon. Now, visually, we've already established
that the blueprint for what people report today
can pretty much be traced back to 1987 when the
movie Predator dropped and gave the world the
image of an invisible hunter cloaked by a shimmering
heatwave -like distortion. Now, nearly every
modern Glimmer Man witness describes it the same
way. Like the predator. Yeah. Same wavy outline,
same feeling like the air itself was warped around
into a human shape. But here's the twist. A lot
of these witnesses hadn't even seen the movie
when they had their encounters. They'd only make
the connection years later when they finally
saw predator and nearly fucking shit themselves,
realizing it matched pretty much exactly what
they'd seen. Exactly. And the other thing is
like, this is such a, like a hard thing to describe.
Hmm. That, like, we had to search through our
minds to find an analog, you know, in our minds.
Like, oh, yeah, like the Predator. Yeah. Maybe
people have been seeing this shit forever, but
could never put a name to it. Like, how do you
describe moving air, right? Well, here's... Besides
wind. So, the real world sightings started quietly
in the mid -1980s to early 90s. We had isolated
incidents like there was a woman in South Illinois
who saw a quote -unquote heat wave angel near
the Chikoya Mountains around 1987, or there was
another guy in Tennessee in 1993 who spotted
a shimmering figure leaping through the trees
like it was fucking nothing. Now, back then,
as you said, nobody had a name for it. It was
just that weird invisible thing. Yeah, you know,
and almost nobody talked about it out of fear
of sounding completely batshit insane. These
are what you call like silent reports. They're
just basically memories shoved into the back
of people's heads because they figured no one
would ever believe them. Exactly. Or maybe they
were like, oh, I must be seeing things. Maybe
it's a mirage, whatever. Yeah. It wasn't until
like the early 2000s that things started to like
snowball. Paranormal forums and weird encounter
websites like Phantoms and Monsters and the old
above top secret like boards. They started to
collect. people started to notice a pattern,
like different people from different parts of
the country were telling the same story. A transparent
figure, bending light, moving unnaturally fast,
and as more reports stacked up, people realized
this wasn't just a one -off thing. So by the
2010s, the term Glimmer Man started, it pretty
much stuck. That's the only way you could really
describe it. Podcasts like Expanded Perspectives,
Monsters Among Us, and Belief Hole picked up
the scent and started featuring like encounter
stories and then once tiktok youtube and reddit
latched onto it like the glitter man officially
turned into like what it is now now so so today
the glitter man isn't just like some fringe weirdo
story you have to dig for like it's pretty mainstream
among paranormal fans doing the gritty but what's
wild about it is that like from what i can tell
like this legend didn't start like out it's not
like a hoax or a creepypasta like this is way
before the internet it's way before like those
types of things were around it built itself naturally
piece by piece out of hundreds of independent
accounts from people who thought they were alone
until they weren't i guess right yeah yeah so
if you want to dive into some theories about
what this thing could be fuck yeah i do Me personally,
I think, I honestly think that, like, and I'm
not, this isn't a theory about what it is, but,
like, there's always this contingent of people
who's like, oh, well, people didn't start seeing
these until they saw them in movies. And my counter
to that is, or maybe they finally had a way to
describe what they were seeing. Exactly. Like,
there, you, until you finally, I don't know how,
I'm trying to agree with you, but I don't know
how to word what I'm trying to say. I got you.
I know we're mind linked. Yeah. Sorry that the
people who are listening to us can't see that.
Yeah. Like you can only describe something so
long until you have the perfect visual representation.
Exactly. Yeah. You got it. You understand. Yeah.
Well, they like back in the 50s, they used to
say like, oh, you know, people didn't really
start describing flying saucers until this movie
came out and it had flying saucers in them. And
it's like. Or maybe they would see a disc in
the sky and they're like, how do I tell somebody
it looked like a plate? A saucer? Yes. Yeah.
Exactly. It's just, I mean, you can call it what
you want, but I mean, it's the Predator. There's
no other way to describe it until that. Exactly.
All right. So, Darius, you ready? I'm ready.
Okay. So, again, nobody knows for sure. what
this thing is obviously, but the theories fall
into two big camps, the paranormal or military
technology. So some believe, and I, if this thing
is real, I kind of fall into this category that
it's an interdimensional creature. So it's slipping
in and out of our world. It's never fully solid.
That would explain why it looks like a distortion
instead of a body and why the woods go deathly
silent when it shows up. Others think it's a
spirit or forest guardian tied to ancient legends
from Native American tribes and European folklore.
Basically like a natural protector chasing humans
out of place that we don't belong. Okay. And
then you have the cryptid angle, which is a biological
creature with natural camouflage. And this is
the part that I find really funny because this
is something we joke about all the time. Some
Bigfoot theorists. Have described similar invisibility
tricks. Claiming that it's blurry. Glowing eyes.
It's just naturally blurry. It's a creature that
adapted to be out of focus. Some Bigfoot theorists
believe that he's just naturally blurry. They
fucking did it, man. They're using the he's just
naturally blurry defense. Fuck, dude. No, we
don't have to get better cameras. He's just always
blurry. Come on. When I saw that, I was like,
fuck you guys so hard. That is so much cope.
As you can see, that's why I named the studio.
They actually use the, he's just naturally blurry
defense because that is a banana. I love it.
Either way, but yeah, but you know, maybe it's
not paranormal at all. Maybe it's just something
that like learn to hide better than anything
else on earth. Like maybe it's just like a cousin
of Bigfoot. That's super cool at, you know, I
mean like octopi cuttlefish. Yeah. They, they're
pretty incredible at fucking mimicking their
background. Chameleons kind of, but you know,
they're not as good as octopus or cuttlefish.
So, um, I mean, you see it in nature all the
time. Like you watch a nature documentary about
cuttlefish, you'll see them completely change.
Some octopus looks like rocks and coral and shit
like that. It's wild. Yeah. So, I mean, it could
be, I don't know. But a lot of sightings of this
thing happen to your military bases. Because
of course they do. And I didn't know this, but
there's real -world invisibility technology.
Kind of. There is, yeah. There's hyper -stealth,
quantum -stealth cloaks. They're patented. Yeah,
I saw it on YouTube. There's actually some kind
of cool videos of people using these cloaks that
sort of... I forget how it works, but it kind
of just projects what's behind them onto the
cloak in front so that it looks like they're
not there. But it's kind of close to what you're
describing in terms of shimmering air almost
because it moves. Kind of. So the theory that
the glitter man is secret technology, that's
actually been gaining more traction. in obviously
like in the 2000s obviously not like in the 80s
uh but it could be soldiers testing cloaking
suits or maybe even like weird drones with light
bending armor or something nastier that we're
not supposed to know about yet uh and considering
places like holloman and white sands they're
like basically playgrounds for secret projects
like this one isn't like crazy far -fetched The
only problem is that some of the Gloomer Man's
behavior, like sprinting through treetops or
smashing into walls of brush, seems way beyond
the limits of what a human being could do. That's
because you have never gotten drunk with a bunch
of soldiers before. This is true. Because everything
you described are things I've actually witnessed.
special tech, like some sightings, it could explain
some, but not all of the sightings. How's that?
Is that better? Yeah. And I feel like back in
the day, like if this was like in the, you know,
early two thousands, like that would require
a lot of power. And I feel like you wouldn't
be able to have batteries that would be small
enough to make you agile. You know what I mean?
True. But maybe like, so, but maybe like the
sightings and like the later, 2020s, 2010s. We
did then, but maybe like the one in 2002 when
they were, or whatever, when they were at the
military base, the abandoned one, maybe that
fucking box was like, you know what I mean? Like
it could be, could be. Yeah. It just, the only
thing that would make me shy away from the military
idea. And actually I'm usually the one who like
immediately shuts down the military angle because
I know how incompetent the military is. Yeah.
But R &D at the military has got to be fucking
legit. It is pretty crazy. It is pretty crazy.
I got a buddy who works at the Proving Grounds
in... Not the Proving Grounds. Natick Labs. And
I mean, like... You know, he's obviously not
giving me, like, top secret information, but
he says, you know, there's a lot of cool shit
that they have there. And I'm not, again, opposed
to this at all because I know that the military
has been working on this kind of advanced camouflage
technique for a long time. So, yeah, I mean,
like, the only thing, the only reason that I
would say, like, maybe not is just because, like,
usually when the military tests something, there's,
like, a lot of people there to watch the test.
So, like, for there to just be one guy and they
didn't happen to see anybody else, like, the
only thing I could think of was, like, okay,
maybe there were cameras that they were watching
it on. But I feel like if you were going to test
something this top secret and high tech, you're
not going to be in, like, a warehouse somewhere.
True. You're going to be, like... You'd probably
have a perimeter set up where people could just
walk in. Like the basement of the Pentagon or
something. Yeah. You know, like, Aberdeen Proving
Grounds. Like, you're not going to be, like...
Let's go to the old candy factory. Yeah, no one's
just jogging through your high -tech military.
Yeah, no, that makes sense. But then again, I
also know Special Forces are just fucking crazy.
So I also wouldn't put it past the Special Forces
guy just to steal it and go fuck around with
it. I mean, that also tracks, too. Like, those
dudes are nuts. Yeah, but pretty much the bottom
line here is that it could be cryptids. Could
be aliens, could be spirits, could be government.
It could be literally all of the above. Like,
who the fuck knows? Also, some have speculated
that these creatures could explain mysterious
disappearances in national parks, like the cases
documented in the missing 411 phenomena. But
that's a whole different rabbit hole theory that
I'm not going to dive into. There are some stories.
It's fucking wild. But that's the missing 411.
I'll leave that to Nick and his show because
he does all that stuff. But there you have it,
Sarge. That is the Glimmer Man. That's all I
got for you today. I love it. What are we thinking?
How are we feeling? Honestly, the military thing
somehow makes it a little bit more believable
for me because I would not put it past. A couple
of specialists in the army to be like, hey, put
on the camo suit and then play the predator noise.
I mean, that's the only one that tracks to me.
Exactly. I mean, there were like, I know like
Skinwalker Ranch, which I fucking hate so much.
I hate Skinwalker Ranch. So stupid. They have,
there are, before the fucking billionaire, whoever
that was, bought it and made it into the reality
show it is now. There were like this like type
of shit happened where there was like a predator
type thing. And they've had other instances where
like on thermal cameras, they see a body. There's
nothing there kind of thing. Yes. Yes. I do remember
hearing about that. I mean, I like it. I mean,
I think I'm not skinwalker ranch. I think that's
nonsense. I like this theory and it's, it's actually
one that I'm surprisingly open to. Normally I'm
the, I'm the skeptic who's like, no possible.
There's no way you can make space age cam a lot,
but in this situation, I actually kind of, I'm
not, I'm not against this idea. I kind of think
it's, it's definitely plausible. It's definitely
plausible that it could be military. And I hope
it's an interdimensional being, honestly. Because
that's so fucking cool. Honestly, that's my theory.
That's the one I want to go with. I don't think
that it's Bigfoot who's just naturally blurry.
I think you're a bunch of fucking pieces of shit
if you think that. That's the dumbest shit I've
ever heard in my entire life. I actually had
this conversation in the car with my sons, actually,
today. We're driving to Target. And my oldest
boy, he didn't know what he was getting himself
into. But he was like, man, I just wish that,
like... we could get definitive proof that there
was life on other planets. And I was like, all
right, buckle up boys. And I just went down a
list of like crazy shit. And they were like,
dad, are you okay? Do we need to call someone?
I called a VA. I think my, my, I think my nine
year old was ready to jump out of the car. Like
he was just done. Yeah. Well, the 13 year old
was like a little bit more. He was like, Oh,
that's right. Dad's dad's a war bad. It's okay,
Dad. Dad's crazy. Yeah, a little bit. It's fine.
All right, yeah, shorter episode today. I didn't
really have much. I just thought this was a fun
story I wanted to tell, which is how most of
the stories I want to tell go. But you're good
with this one? This one's good? You fine with
this? I love it. Love it? I love it. I want more.
If you have seen A Glimmer Man, reach out. Yeah,
please. I want to know what the fuck. I want
to know your story. I just want to know what
the fuck. Where were you? What were you doing?
Did you smell it? Does it have glowing blood?
But more importantly, what the fuck? Like, come
on. All right, man. Before we sign off, I just
want to say thank you everyone listening. We
charted twice recently for some fucking reason.
This episode probably won't because people are
going to listen to it and be like, they're a
bunch of fucking ding -dongs. But yeah, we got
to 80 -something in Ireland and like 122 in Sweden,
which is crazy. So if you're in Ireland or Sweden,
thank you so much for listening. You guys, tell
all your friends. Keep it going. Keep listening.
Call your cousins here in America. Tell them
to get their shit together. Yeah. And, you know,
if you like what you hear, just leave us a rating
and review. That'd be fucking awesome. I'd really
appreciate it. Helps the show go on. You can
do it on Apple. You can do it on Spotify. You
can do it on... pocket cast that there's a bunch
of anywhere you can just do it um yeah yeah uh
but yeah that's all i gotta say sarge you got
anything you want to plug before we sign off
yeah you know we still got the coloring book
going on it's sarge's supernormal .com um i promise
one day i'll stop plugging this thing but um
it's still relevant unfortunately probably more
so now than ever um so get the coloring book
it's some political humor um that well i mean
it was funny until recently uh yeah and find
us on social media i'm at sarge the destroyer
just google it i'm the only moron who picked
that name um and you know that's all you gotta
say i was gonna say i was gonna say google i
mean google the show we pop up everywhere that's
true uh but if you want you can just follow us
on instagram at cryptic cocktail false tiktok
cryptic cocktail party and that's all i gotta
say sarge you want to say goodbye and a little
bit to the audience Goodbye, and I love you.