Oh shit. Oh yeah. What up everybody? Welcome back to another episode of Grit a Cocktail
Party. Show a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown. I'm your host
Dave. Joined as always by my wonderfully handsome co-host, Sarge. How's it going buddy? You
fucking smooth talker. Hey, that's what I'm here for. Flattery will get you everywhere.
I'm here to boost you buddy. That's what that's what being bros is about dude. Just fucking
lifting you up. Yeah. And I'm here. I'm here to support you too. Think of me as your as
your athletic supporter. Is that like a like a cup? Like a like a jockstrap? Yeah. I'm
going to hold your balls up. Think of it like, you know, like the Atlas statue where he's
holding the world on his back. Yeah. That's what I'm here to do. Okay. Is hold you hold
your balls on my back. I feel I appreciate that bud. You know what? That's that's a true
Sigma move right there. And I like that. I like that. It's all about supporting your
bros dude. Fuck yes guy. We're kind of on one today. Nothing is more Sigma than supporting
your bros balls on your back. Yeah. It's like Atlas shrugged, but you're not going to be
able to with these fucking brass beauties right on your back bro. All right. Oh no, I won't.
I won't shrug. I won't shrug, you know, cause I don't want you to, I don't want you to get
aroused and I feel like any movement of my shoulder muscles might, it might generate
some friction on your yams and then we got a problem. Well, I don't know that I'll help
you solve. If you all carve you a flesh light out of a single piece of CDA. I don't care.
It's like, Oh, I was going to say off topic. We haven't even gotten to a topic yet, but
did you watch that documentary about that fucking, I forget, I was on Netflix and it's
like this guy who like scammed this family and like that's something to do with their
daughter and the dad was like, yeah. And then, you know, we were sitting in the parked car
and you know, he said he needed some relief. So I, you know, unbuttoned his pants and I
relieved him. He's talking about how he jerked off this dude in the car. I'm going to edit
that out. I'm sorry. You have to watch. You have to fucking. Was he dating? No. His daughter?
Dude, hold on. No, he just, the dad was like, it's not gay. It's a medical procedure. Just
two bros helping each other out. He says, I, I cannot stand my wife. I need to have sex.
I could see that he, he was sexually aroused. He says, Oh, can you give me some relief?
We were laughing and he said, Oh, Bob is just kid stuff and I've got to have relief. So
I was dumb enough to reach over and relieve him in an act of masturbation. Bro, come on.
No, no, that is not. No, I have, I have never once in my life been like, Oh yeah, you know
what? I'll help you out by tugging on your dick for you. Just do it yourself, man. Bro,
you wouldn't fucking, you wouldn't help me in my time of need. You don't want that. My
hands are calloused. Look at them. All right. Yeah. Um, sandpaper. You wouldn't enjoy that.
Neither would I. How do I clean that up? How do I, how do I wipe my, how do I like, nope.
How do you wipe your conscious clean after that? I don't know. Yeah. Well, like what
if my face is itchy afterwards and I got to remember that yuck, man. No. What's wild is
that that dude that he jerked off, I'm pretty sure killed his daughter or something. So
I don't really remember the documentary. I know that. So that dude like kidnapped his
daughter or something like that. It's wild. Um, there's just no excuse. Like it's just
kid stuff. No, that's not how kids stuff works. It's like playing doctor dude. It's fine.
Kid stuff is playing with Legos. All right. All right. I'm going to, yeah, there's so
much to unpack. I just need to forget about it for now. Just answer the question. How
are you doing, bud? I am. I'm doing, I am doing wonderful. I'm about to go to California
for work. Hell yeah. And, uh, I had to, I have to order my hotel room through this app
that they have to like, like your work, like your work agent. Yeah. It's like a travel
agent thing. And, uh, so I'm staying at the four seasons in LA, which is pretty fucking
cool. Hell yeah, dude. It's better than the four seasons in Philadelphia, which is actually
just a landscaping company. So I should probably look and make sure I'm not staying in a landscaping
company. My guess is that I'm not, um, no, what happened is the hotel I normally stay
at, there's like a convention there. So the rooms were like $500. What's the convention?
I don't know, but to stay at the four seasons, it was only like $250 a night. So I was like,
I'm saving the company money. I was going to say, wait, does your company not pay for
this? Cause you're talking about it. Like, no, no. I like, so the thing is we have a
rule where you got to stay, you can stay in a nicer hotel. Like you can't stay in anything
under three stars. Okay. Is that like a stipulation? Yeah. They don't want you to get stabbed by
a hypodermic needle when you sit down on the couch. So, so the only place that was above
three stars was the four seasons and this other hotel that it's like $500. Yeah. And
so I was like, well, I got to save the cheapest one. And that just happens to be the four
seasons this time around. Oh, Hey, you know, pamper, treat yourself, bud, treat yourself.
Oh yeah. No, I'm very excited, especially when I, when I walk out in a tank top with
Baphomet on it to go to the gym in the morning. That's going to be, it's LA. You know, everyone
there is, you know, satanic, that's true. Yeah. Blood drinking Charles Manson. Yeah.
The whole nine. Yeah. That's just LA baby. Come on. Yeah. Skid row. Just, I'm just doing
it up. I'm doing it LA style. Why don't you just stay the Cecil dude. Fucking drink that.
Oh God. I wish I could, but I'm, I'm, my work is like 45 minutes from there. Well, speaking
of, um, discussing hotels, this has nothing to do, but I, uh, I fucking got ringworm.
Oh my God. How did you, were you wrestling? Because it's like the only place I know you
can get that is in high school on a high school wrestling mat. It's basically ringworms is
athletes foot, not on your foot. That's it's basically the same fungus stuff like that.
So it's really, yeah. So it's easy. I had no idea. Yeah. So it's just athletes foot,
but you can get it from like either like going to the gym, which I don't fucking do. Uh,
or they say like pets, like if I, if your pet comes in contact with it somehow and my
dogs do go outside and also sleep in my bed with me underneath the covers. Cause I'm a
terrible dog parent. Um, yeah, no, that's fine. I'm woefully uninformed on ringworms.
So I genuinely thought it was some kind of bug under your skin. No, no, that's scabies.
You don't want scabies scabies. I knew about that. I knew about scabies cause everybody's
got that one kid they went to high school with, but yeah, that was me. I was the gross
punk kid with a fucking studded vest who got scabies more than once. I'll be honest. The
only reason I didn't have scabies is because I was on the swim team and they chlorinated
the fuck out of that pool. Yeah. See, uh, yeah. But ringworm socks, it's itchy as shit.
It doesn't look great. It's uh, it's like a ring. It's an actual ring. Yeah. Skin, right?
Yeah. It's like a, like a weird raised crusty kind of circle in the middle of it's bright
red. And it's itchy. It was sucks. I didn't notice I had it until like, it was like, cause
I don't know if you know this, but I'm not very in tune with my body. I don't. Yeah,
no, me neither. So like I noticed it itching, but there was nothing there. And then like
a few days later I woke up as at work actually. And I was like, why is my leg itching so bad?
And it was like full on ringworm at that point. Like it wasn't like that. It wasn't like the
beginning stages of it. Like this was like, like, so yeah, so that's what's going on in
my life. It's great. I love it. So I kind of like 12 minutes of this episode because
sergeant ended up sharing just a bunch of pictures of ourselves from like middle school and high
school. So the following sentence after this makes no sense, but whatever. Enjoy the fucking
episode. Are you want to dive into this episode?
Pictures of each other in our worst. I don't know. I think that was peak Dave. I don't
think I could ever get any hotter than that. Come on. That was a skinny, well-built boy.
Maybe. So for me it was, that was peak man tits. Oh, see you, I think you look good.
You were dapper as fuck anyways. Yeah. You know, talks, she's wearing a regular t-shirt.
I look like I was smuggling fucking bags of water balloons actually smuggling water balloons.
I had tits for days. Puberty hit me hard. It's for days. All right. Sorry. I got a question
for you. All right. You ever feel hot? And I don't mean like sexy. I know who you are.
You should feel like that 24 seven. I mean like temperature. I'm sexy and I know it.
Yeah. If you feel just like hot temperature wise all the time. Okay. All the time. I'm
a fat guy in new England. So yes, I wear, I wear shorts to the gym every morning regardless
of what the temperature is outside. Okay. Now you ever feel so hot that you thought
you might just burst into flames? Yes. Yeah. I spent, I spent a couple of weeks in New
Jersey in the summertime at Fort Dix, which is mostly just a swamp. And uh, yeah, no,
that's exactly how I felt there. Okay. Well, saying can be said about the victims of today's
topic and that is spontaneous human combustion. Are you familiar with it? I'm a combust all
over that face. Sorry. I couldn't resist. Now you, now you already know that you already
knew the topic of today's episode and you said that you actually know, I'm not going
to say like, I was going to say you're an expert on it, but you know more, you probably
know more about this than I do because I didn't really research this until like four days
ago. So, oh man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The picture of that lady's fucking severed calf and foot
in that orthopedic shoe. Let me tell you that's haunted my nightmares ever since I was little.
Yeah. Yeah. So I was relatively on a, like I knew spontaneous human combustion quote
unquote existed. And I think like you, the first time I ever heard about it was on an
episode of unsolved mysteries. Yeah. And I feel like in the nineties, like during like
with cartoons and stuff like, uh, someone actually commented this on our Instagram,
but like, I thought it was going to be a bigger problem growing up. Same thing with like quicksand
because it was kind of like, it was in a lot of media back in the day. He talked a lot
about it. It was, it was a big topic. Yeah. And not so much anymore, like, which is weird
because and I don't think quicksand is even, but yeah, so it was fascinating to kind of
to learn about because no one really knows if it's real, I guess, if that makes sense.
Like there's, yeah, it's a sort of looking for it's a scientific anomaly, a mystery,
like no one knows what's going on now. For those of you under the age of like 35, uh,
who have never probably never heard of spontaneous human combustion. Uh, it's the alleged phenomenon
in which a person seemingly burst into flames for just no reason. Hence the spontaneous
part, uh, leaving behind only like a pile of ash while their surroundings remain unscathed
by the flames. That's like the biggest part of spontaneous human combustion is that it's
a very localized fire to just the person who was being spontaneously combusted. Well that
and like the other biggest part would be like the foot you left behind. We'll get, we'll
get the rest of you is just dust. Yeah. And this has been a topic of fascination for forensic
scientists, paranormal researchers and skeptics alike for some time now. And I, and I mean
that in the most literal sense as the first reported case of spontaneous human combustion
was recorded in the 14 seventies. Like, so this story goes fucking way back. Uh, the
first reported case was of an Italian knight named Polonus, first Jewish. I don't know
if that's how you pronounce it, but I'm going to run with it. Close enough. Yeah. He was
known for being a bit of a drunk and I feel like in the 14 seventies, if you're known
for being a drunk, he must've been like fucking either a huge asshole or a great time. Cause
everyone I feel like back then. Well, I mean they drank beer because it was safer than
water. Yeah. Cause they didn't understand boiling kills. Yeah. They weren't there yet.
Yeah. So Polonus was enjoying some drinks with the boys when suddenly he started belching
white hot flames before just fully bursting into flames right in front of some rather
horrified witnesses. He's a spitting hot fire. Then we got the case of Nicole Mallette. She
was an in Cape innkeeper who in the 18th century was found burned, reduced to a pile of ash
near near her straw bed, which by the way, didn't catch fire. In this case, her husband
was actually arrested and convicted by the authorities claiming he actually had murdered
her. Your entire house is surrounded by flammable things. Your clothes completely flammable.
You must have killed her. No, I think it was just, you know, the flammable clothes you
surrounded your body in. Yeah. But maybe it was that nightly bath and kerosene that did
it. Look, lucky for him. Uh, there was actually a doctor who was staying at the inn at the
time and he testified that he actually witnessed her like combust and then did nothing about
it. She was probably a witch. Made no attempt to try to put her out. Uh, but because of
that, the husband's conviction was overturned. I don't know what they ruled the death to
actually be, but it is what it is. All right. You got to tell me though, was she hot for
a brief moment for at least one to three hours? There wasn't misogyny. That was me making
a combustion joke. I support women. I believe all women. Nothing makes a joke funnier than
when you have to explain it. So I'm right there with you. But yeah, no, we also have
the case of Cornelia Zangari Bondi, an Italian countess who was discovered as nothing more
than a pile of ash and a pair of unburned legs. Now the unburned legs thing will become
somewhat of a running theme throughout this episode. So from now on, just expect it moving
forward. Whenever we talk about a cape, just assume that there will be at least one foot
to full two legs unscathed by fire. Would you say that her legs now went all the way
up? I don't understand that one. That's what they used to say back in the day. We
would have women that like long legs and legs go all the way up. Yeah. I mean, it goes all
the way up to a pile of to nothing. So yeah. Another weird case happened in the 1800s involving
a French woman named Jean Safin, who was sitting in her kitchen table with her family when
she suddenly burst into flames. Family members who witnesses reported seeing fire coming
from inside of her mouth. In this case, what's funny? Worst blowjob ever. Fucking Jesus.
Why did I go there? I don't know. We're talking too much about that dude jerking off his fucking
friend. That's why that's gotta be it. For those of you not watching the unedited version
of this show on Patreon, you're really missing out on some stuff. Now, in this case though,
the fire seemed contained to just her, meaning that even though she was burning alive from
the inside out, her clothes, her surrounding remained undamaged. Like this was like a really
internalized human combustion. Now she wasn't reduced to just ash and legs, but she obviously
died from her injuries. But the surrounding circumstances left investigators pretty stumped.
Obviously it's fucking wild. Oh God. Unintentional puns. The greatest unintentional pun. Is this
is this insensitive? I have no idea. Can you imagine? Detective shows up on the scene.
He sees two separate needs. Well, I'm stumped. But also one of the detectives puts out a
cigarette. Phil, somebody died. My favorite is like an investigator in the fuck. Yeah,
of course an investigator in the 1800s is going to be stumped. He's stumped by everything.
They don't. Yeah, I mean, this was a time period where they genuinely thought that they
had to take a picture of the eyes of the victim who was murdered because they thought possibly
you can imprint of the of the murderer would be on their corneas. Yeah. If the person who
did whatever the crime was, wasn't actively there, still committing the crime was like,
I don't listen. I don't know about it. This is yeah, this is back when blaming a ghost
was like a pretty common. Like, no, it's probably a ghost. It was either a ghost or plague rats.
I don't know. Yeah. Basically being a detective and a doctor both work the exact same way
back in the 1800s. It's either a ghost or it's plague rats. I mean, the only difference
is that doctors trying to get your blood out while the detective's trying to get it back
inside you. So we're going to we're going to fast forward now to some more modern cases
that fit the spontaneous human combustion mold. First up, we have probably the most
famous case of S.H.C. That's spawning. You get it. Yeah. It's just hard to say continuously.
But first of all, we have probably the most famous case of human combustion, and that
is the case of 67 year old Mary Reeser. Now, this is the case where that famous picture
of like the burnt chair and just the one leg next to it orthopedic. Yeah, you know, you
know, yeah. So her story goes, well, I guess ends. And that is that on July 2nd, 1951,
Mary's landlady was stopping by Mary's place for one reason or another. It's unclear. I
assume it's probably just she's an old lady living in the I don't I really don't know.
But she became worried when Mary wasn't answering her door. So she reached for the doorknob
and noticed that it was very warm. Now, as we learned growing up in school, if a doorknob
is hot, you probably shouldn't go in. But it was just warm. So she fucking I guess braved
it and was like, yeah, fucking good enough. So she entered and then she found a pretty
not great sight. That's all I got to say. Mary had been reduced to ash, only her left
foot still wearing its shoe pieces of her backbone and her skull remained. So. Pretty
horrific. What's weirder is it seemed as though her skull had shrunken and like significantly,
which stumped forensic investigators who said that typically extreme heat would do the exact
opposite. It would actually cause the skull to explode due to the pressure buildup of
your brain cooking inside of it. It's kind of like so like that scene in scanners. Yeah,
it's just just like that. Yeah. I was going to say it's like if you microwave an egg,
but we'll go with that. I've never microwaved an egg, but now I'm going to ruin my microwave.
But it makes sense though. You know, I mean, like if you cook something with a heat expanse
stuff like your brain would normally fucking explode at your skull if you were. Well, yeah,
your head's full of liquid and the steam blow your skull out. That's interesting actually.
Yeah. It's not great. Nope. It's going to hurt probably. You mean the splitting headache.
No, no. Just like, and just like other cases of spontaneous human combustion, her apartment
showed minimal signs of fire damage nearby stuff made of plastic, like outlets and light
switch covers, as well as like candles and other multiple items were melted or at least
softened by the heat. But the, you know, like the stack of newspapers just feet away from
her were unscathed. And there's also like a weird oily greasy residue that was found
on the wall. And so not great. Maybe she had tried to fry a chicken that was still frozen.
Maybe that's could also be a water. You know, it's not, not a good look. Now. So I remember
correctly though, she was like a, she was a drunk and a smoker. That didn't come up,
but really, we're, we're, we're sorry. We're going to get there. Okay. All right. All right.
All right. I'm sorry. I just, I'm very excited. Now another unsettling modern case is that
of Beatrice, a little hot under the collar.
No another unsettling modern case is that of Beatrice Ock ski. I don't know if I'm
pronouncing that right, but we're going to run with it. The bowling, Brooke, Illinois.
Now over the weekend of Thanksgiving in a, wow, I fucked that up. It puts 1797. I think
it's 1979. It's 1979. Beatrice Beatrice's daughter-in-law stopped by for a visit upon
arriving. She immediately smelled smoke. Now, instead of just busting into the department
like the landlady, she immediately goes to a neighbor's house and calls the fire department
instead of just barging in. And when they arrived, they walk into a scene, not too dissimilar
from Mary's. Again, there's nothing left of Beatrice. She was reduced to a pile of
ash. Her legs completely untouched, still resting on the floor and her shoes still firmly
planted on her feet. The chair she was sitting in, same thing with Mary, was obviously all
fucked up as long as well as like the wall behind her. But that makes sense. But not
a single sign of fire damage really anywhere else. Minus again, the usual melting and softening
of plastic and candles from the heat. And like the last case, a stack of newspapers
mirror inches away were untouched. Is that like a thing for old people? Do they just,
I guess back in the day, like you got newspapers, what are you going to do with them? Do they
just have stacks of newspapers all over everywhere? It's like an absolute whole lot. It's like
what the fuck? Yeah, it's strange. It's strange. Maybe they were born at a time where there
wasn't toilet paper and so they kept the newspapers nearby. They're from the Great Depression.
They're like, hey, we got to really... You never know when the stock market's going
to crash again. Yeah. But also they were kind of like seeing into the future. They knew
that fucking 2020 was coming and that there was going to be a shortage of any sort of
sanitary paper. They just wanted to leg up on the situation. Yeah. Fuck me. This is only
two left. And just like in Mary's apartment, they found that same oily, greasy residue
covered like everything in the apartment. Now I know that feeling honestly, because
every time I go to Taco Bell, there is an oily, greasy residue left everywhere. God damn
it. All right. Those are like the two most like, I guess like famous and well known modern
cases. So, but I mean, again, I didn't go into much detail about them, but you get pretty
much the gist of what's going on, right? Yeah. People just walk into someone's house. Only
he's going up in flames. Yeah. That's pretty... It seems like it's mostly old ladies. I don't
know why. Well, that's because like menopause dries them out. You know, it's like kindling.
Just like a husk. Oh God. I am a terrible person. That's great. Now there are a lot
more and I'm going to actually, I'm just going to, I'm going to rapid fire through some of
like some more, like even more modern race. So spontaneously firing. I'm going to spontaneously
fire through some even more modern, like examples of spontaneous human combustion. So in 2010
Galway, Ireland, we have 76 year old Michael Faraday who was found burned to death in his
living room. His remains were completely reduced to ash yet his surroundings showed little
fire damage. Now the thing about this case in a rarely seen move, the coroner actually
ruled his death spontaneous human combustion, which is fucking wild. Yeah. So that's cool.
No further information besides that, but that's a pretty sick thing to have like, he's probably
spontaneous human combustion. Dude, if I was like any of his like fucking kids or nephews
or grandkids, I would frame that fucking death certificate in a heartbeat. Me too. That's
legendary status. How did grandpa Michael die spontaneous human combustion? Like that's
fucking wild. And then in 2013 Oklahoma, we have Danny Van Zant, an alcoholic and heavy
smoker who was found cremated in his home. Now investigators couldn't find any evidence
of a significant fire or even a source of a fire. The sheriff said of his remains, quote,
you could pour gasoline on someone and they wouldn't be so badly burned. End quote. I
mean, they say they couldn't find a source, but it could have been the things he kept
lighting on fire and then smoke it. We'll get to that. Okay. I'm not a detective, but
I, I, I did, I do have some theories. Then in 2015, Flensburg, Germany, an unnamed woman
was sitting on a park bench when multiple witnesses saw her suddenly suddenly ignite
from nowhere. No lighter, no smoking, no nothing. No source for the fire was found by investigators.
She was severely burnt, but remained alive for a short time before she died. You know
what they, you know what they said about her is that she's, she's really got that spark.
You know what I mean? Oh, this is a bad episode. I am on fire tonight. And there, and there
are countless other examples, like, but like there was a one homeless guy was found sleeping
in a doorway where it was just flames shooting out from inside of his stomach. And there's
another one about a homeless guy, same thing, but like on a park bench, a lot of homeless
dudes, what we're finding is that it feels like dudes aren't, their spontaneous human
combustion is different than women's, not that it's a competition or anything sexist,
but it seems like women for the most part are usually reduced to ash and feet, but men
seem to, for some reason, it's just in their abdomen and it just seems to shoot white hot
fire out of them. And I don't mean maybe these guys were alphas, you know, they had that,
that fire in their belly. Oh, is that what it was? They had two wolves raging inside
of them. Both of them are fire. Both of them are highly combustible and will destroy you
from the inside out. The dragons is, is, and they said, yeah, so there's countless examples,
but none of them seem to answer any of the questions that I'm sure you all have. Like
if you need at minimum 2000 degrees Fahrenheit to fully cremate a human body, how is it that
none of their homes or even like their immediate surroundings are damaged during the event?
What's the oily substance found in the walls and ceilings and why are there only legs left
behind in all of these cases? Well, the most widely accepted theory as to what spontaneous
human combustion really is, is something called the wick effect, which pretty much boils down
to the human body acts like a candle. Why is that funny?
It's a lot of boiling. Yeah. But in the colloquial sense, it boils
down to is that the human body acts like a candle. The clothing of a person is the wick
while the body's fat acts as a fuel. So if a person's clothing catches on fire, which
back in the day during like Mary's times, like a lot of stuff is made out of like nylon
or let's say begins with the P I forget that name, but polyester, polyester, which is highly
flammable and even though it burns quick, if you're, if it's smoldering, it can ignite
and then this basically happens. So the clothing of a person is the wick. Well, the body fat
acts like a fuel. So if a person's clothing catch fire, like say you fell asleep while
smoking a cigarette, the heat can melt body fat, which then soaks into the clothing, which
will sustain the combustion. So basically you're
Wait, so hold on. I'm sorry. So if this were to happen to Julius Caesar, would that be
a Roman candle? This is going to be our last episode. Thank you so much for listening.
And with that, sorry, do you want to say about, but yeah, no. So basically what it is. So
yeah, basically like if you're wearing out, if you fall asleep and like you said earlier,
a lot of these people were drunks and or whatever. So people probably people are asking like,
why didn't they like, if they're on fire, why didn't they try to move? Like, why, like
why would they just be like, well, this is my fate now. I just, just resigned to being
burned alive. Well, like start said, a lot of these people were drunks or they were heavily
medicated in a way that prevented them from moving. So if they're on fire, they don't
realize they're on fire until it's too late. And then they are literally a pile of legs,
if that makes sense. It's just so weird to me that the only thing left is the legs. Well,
here's the thing. So with the wick effect, what this does is it creates a slow, intense
burn that can reach high enough temperatures to cremate a person while leaving surrounding
objects pretty much untouched. This slow burn also explains why things like legs and feet
remain while the rest of the body is reduced to ash since the fire consumes the more fat
rich areas of the body first. And if it wasn't clear by now, the oily substance that was
being found all over the place, that's just human fat being, yeah, it's not great. But
also heat rises. So if you're sitting down and your legs are, legs are out, like it's
going to consume the more fat rich areas of your body. And if you have a body like winter
Dave, your legs are very still skinny, but you're basically from the waist up, it's,
you know, like fucking Slimer. So that's pretty much what it is. So if I were to spontaneously
combust my tits would be the first to go. Oh yeah. You're basically from nipple up,
you'd be done. You're just all over. Now there are some lesser known theories floating around
as to what spontaneous human combustion can be. One suggests that like gases like methane
can build up in the intestine. And if an external spark, like from static electricity or something,
I don't really fucking know where to somehow ignite these gases. It could be possible to
cause like an internal combustion. I don't genuinely know what that could be. The only
thing I could think of is, you know how, you know that trick where if you take a, like
a lifesaver and it's dark and you bite down on it, it sparks. Do you not know this? Oh
really? No. That's the only thing I can think of that would cause it. Cause how else is
a static electricity gonna like, the only thing I think is if you light your farts on
fire and for some reason it's just going out, it just goes in. That's the only way I could
see this even remotely being like a high degree of suction for that to work. Hey, it's like
a black hole, brown hole. All right. Now another theory is pretty much the same, but instead
of methane, it's high levels of acetone building up in the body, which can occur in individuals
with diabetes or on a low carb diet. The good news is you don't need to go to the store
when you have to clean paint off of something. So yeah, or fingernail polish, nail polish
remover. Yeah. So acetone is highly flammable and could combust if somehow it were to ignite.
So basically, but also what this boils down to is that if you're on the keto diet, fucking
look out. Just moments away from just fucking blowing up. And then lastly, we have a more
fringe idea, one with no real evidence to support it. And of course this is the more
popular theory amongst the more Alex Jonesian types out there. Gay frogs? No, this idea
involves something called the pirotron particle. It's a speculative subatomic phenomenon that
some researchers claim could trigger combustion on a cellular level. That's all there is to
know about it. Cause again, speculative, but a lot of people thoroughly enjoy this one
for some reason because it's the most bonkers one. So why wouldn't you go with that one?
Yeah, of course. Yeah. But no matter what the case, I don't ever want to catch on fire.
So all these theories suck, but they have it starts. That is spontaneous human combustion
in a nutshell. Again, there's a lot to go over with all of these stories. I just try
to give you the bare bones, but I gave you all the facts you needed to get started on
your journey. If you want to learn more about it, it's not great. It's so weird to me that
all these people died in their living room. Is it weird? Well, yeah, cause it's a living
room. You know, fucking Jesus. Actually, no, there was, so there was one in Philadelphia.
I don't remember when it was, it was like 1910, something like that. It was like a doctor
and he spontaneously human combusted in his tub, I want to say. And this one, he like
actually like it melted the tub. I feel like tubs back then were metal, but like I think
they're like the heat from him, he did the tub up so much that it fell through the floor.
Holy shit. Yeah. I didn't, I don't know why I didn't put this in the story. There's there
was bathing in propane. Like what the fuck? He just fucking dude's 2000 degrees of a human
body just burning in a metal tub. I bet it was like a real nice tub too. But it was like
a, like a, you know, you know, it was, but yeah, I mean it happens everywhere. Well,
I mean, you know, taste the meat, not the heat. So much gas. Yeah. So there you have
it. Uh, you got any thoughts, concerns, thoughts and prayers? Yeah. I mean, here's the, here's
the thing. Like just, just remember that old saying, if the doorknob's hot, probably not,
you know, don't go in. That's not the saying is it? I don't think it is. I mean, that's
actually pretty good. That's a good way to avoid a back draft. Yeah. If the doorknob's
hot, actually know what it is. It's if the doorknob's hot, better not, you know, go in.
You could have just left it at, no, you know what? You're right. Um, but yeah, but sorry,
you said you've read a lot about spontaneous. Like, like what, like, is there anything that
you want to add to this? I mean, so I heard that, um, one of the theories was for a guy
who worked on a farm and he had the blue flame coming out of his, his belly and the, the,
they were like, oh, well the dust from corn is extremely flammable. Yeah. So was he like
ripping butts and fucking. Well, you did like, you inhaled it, you know? So that was kind
of the idea is that it like inhaled a lot of that dust and then the flames came out
and it looked like it was coming out of his stomach, but it could have been coming out
of his lung. Who knows? But like, but how would it ignite? Like he'd have to like be
smoking a cigarette and like an Ember went into his, but I feel like it would extinguish
before then. Like, well, you know, cause actually have you ever seen people light a candle just
off the smoke? No. Like they don't touch. So they blow out a candle and then they hold
a match to the smoke and it goes up. So just the heat alone. Yeah. Well, the smoke itself
is extremely flammable. Yeah. But like what, but what he breathed in, he breathed it in
and then he lit a cigarette and. Okay. I don't buy it. I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't,
you know, I'm going to, this is the first time I'm going to say, I don't believe in
spontaneous human combustion. So this, this is something I think the wick effect is clearly
the most, like if you're wearing a, like these, these people are like in like their fucking
seventies, they're wearing a nylon Mumu when they're sitting in their favorite recliner
and they're smoking, they're smoking a misty light one 20, just the longest of cigarettes.
You know, take a couple of buddies. My buddy's mom used to smoke those and she kept them
in the freezer. Yeah. Well, when I, when I smoked, I would buy cartons of cigarettes
and I put them in the freezer. I don't know if it actually does anything. Yeah. I think
it's a new England thing. Maybe, maybe that has to be, but no, like, you know, like she's
smoking her new misty light one twenties and then fucking, you know, Matt walks over, you
take a couple of Tylenol PMs, wash it down with a nightcap of a very strong rum and Coke.
You know, you pass out, your cigarette falls on your lap. Next thing you know, just a couple
of legs. Boom. You're gone. Yeah. You're gone. I, yeah. It's such a weird phenomenon. I actually
do believe that it occurs. I just think that there's probably a natural explanation for
it. It's just not, it's not to, to be fair. I, none of these theories say there's anything
supernatural about it. So that, I mean, that's kind of cool. I, I, well, the, the weird particle
that doesn't exist, that's kind of weird, but I do like the fact that in none of these
theories was like, yeah, an aliens came down and they fucking burst her into flames. Like
I am grateful for that because it's, it's a little out of control. Yeah. I'm glad that
like with this one, the craziest thing is like a theoretical particle that exists. Exactly.
Okay. I'll take it. Um, but yeah, like, I don't know. I just, I'm trying to think about
how to phrase like Charles Dickens wrote about this. He actually killed off a character in
one of his books with it. Spontaneous human combustion. Yeah. Cause back in the Victorian
era, they actually believed that it was something that afflicted, uh, people who are alcoholics.
Well that was another thing you brought that up. Is that a lot of the people in the story,
they, they liked their fucking, they were drinking. Yeah. Mary Reeser. I remember reading
that she was, she was drinking. Uh, she wasn't a drunk, but she, she was drinking. Well,
yeah, again, you got a nightcap really strong, Bacardi and Coke, something I like to call
strict moms where it's mostly Bacardi splash of Coke for color. You know what I'm talking
about? Strict moms that become progressively nicer. Oh, it depends on the, it depends on
how you did in school that day. You're more and more like your father. We used to call,
we call those strict. My grandmother drinks them, call them strict moms. She's, she's
phenomenal. She's great. But, uh, my buddy Chad, his mom drank them too. RIP Chad's mom.
Love you. Uh, we call them strict moms because she, hers were aggressive and I've never seen
it. It was like, it's mostly Bacardi with a splash of tab in it. Splash of Coke just
for color. It's not for flavor. It's just to make it look like you're just to change
the color. Just, yeah, just to make it look like you're not a fucking raging alcoholic,
which she didn't even need because she was already drinking brown rum. No, this is, oh
no, this is Bacardi silver. We're talking about just rum. Okay. No, she's drinking,
she's drinking the hard stuff. Yeah. We call it strict moms. That's, and that's why. Okay.
Uh, but yeah, you get a couple of those in the other fucking fall asleep in your fucking
nylon Moo Moo watching fucking, I don't know what it will people watch. That's fair. That
I mean, honestly, that was the first drink I had when I turned 21 and, uh, I pushed it
away because it was disgusting. Rum is awful. It tastes like cough syrup. I was drinking
way before I was 21. My first legal, no, no, I was too, but that was my first legal legally
purchased alcoholic beverage. My first legally purchased, uh, 21 year old beverage was, uh,
we went to this place called the Asia. It was an Asian, it was a Chinese food restaurant
over and, uh, I got four scorpion bowls for four to myself. And then it was immediately
kicked out. I drink. No, I'm surprised you didn't die to be honest. Well, to be fair,
I was doing a bunch of drugs in the bathroom that made my stamina pretty intense. Okay.
Fair enough. And then we left and then we just, we went to the liquor store and then
we, oh yeah. All this, by the way, all this is before like 1 p.m. And then we went to
the liquor store and then we tried to find the ingredients to make scorpion bowls ourselves.
I'm not going to lie. We got pretty close. It was pretty good. Oh yeah. But anyways,
that's a, that's spontaneous human combustion. I feel like this episode is more for us than
it was for the listeners. It was just a, it was just a vehicle for me to make many puns
about catching. Yeah. This is, so technically this is absolutely 100, not one, not 100 proper.
We've done a quite a few bonus episodes. So I'm not going to say this is our 100th episode.
I feel like it's not fair, right? Yeah. But I mean, it is the hundredth episode and I
think, um, in lieu of fireworks, I think we handled it well. I think we did. Okay. When
it gets to the 100 proper, I think we'll do, we'll do something special. I feel like, right?
We'll do something good. Yeah. Yeah. I'll take off my shirt and everyone can see my
giant pepperoni nipples. Yeah. Ritualistic suicide live on air. Let's fucking, let's
get it, dude. Well, uh, no, I didn't say that. Well, oh, all right. Well anyways, uh, sorry.
I was just going to show you my nipples. I wasn't going to. Oh, who's going to, you feel
like we have different ideas of how to celebrate. Nope. Let's just move on. Anyways, is there
anything you want to plug before we sign off? Nah, coloring books, I just super normal.com.
You can buy that. Now one of these days I'll get around to writing something with words
in it. Uh, that's it. That's all I got. All right. Uh, if you want to follow us on Instagram,
follow us on a, at a crypto cocktail, tick tock, crypto cocktail party, uh, leave us
a rating and review. It really helps the show. Uh, we've been getting a lot of new followers,
not so many new listeners, but a lot of new followers on the Instagram, which is fucking
wild because I posted that one fucking thing, that one thing and we gained 4,000 new followers,
but like 30 new lists, but you know what? I'm not going to disparage, you know, it's
whatever is fine. Um, yeah, these are a review. It's great. Uh, enjoy Narragansett. It's a
great beer. Drink Narragansett. I'm drinking it right now. I'm drinking the, the, uh, the
Dell Shandy Narragansett. Yeah. I also really liked the iced tea. Oh, we did have an iced
tea, dude. I hate that you live so close to the brewery and I'm so far away. All I got
is fucking loggers. I have a year supply of logger in my basement and I'm tired of it.
Cam. Well, they will fund you to come up here. I know. We'll, we'll talk about it. Um, also-
Because if you come up here, just imagine the shenanigans we could get up to in Providence,
Rhode Island. I'm, I'm a shenanigan master and it won't be good. I'll want to vandalize
stuff and I will want to break things. I'm not-
Me and Cam can hold you back a little bit, but we could do karaoke. Okay. And then we
can fight a cop. We can do Beastie Boys karaoke cause now there's going to be three of us.
Yeah, but I'm, I can't do bars. I can, I can do the, yeah. Okay. Like I can do the-
Great. Great. I'll pick a rap song where all you've got to do is the little John part.
I'm just a hype man. That's all I, I'm a really good hype man. Um, what else? Oh, uh, CryptoCamp.
The Kickstarter ended, but they hopefully should be coming soon. I think March or something
like that. So, you know, definitely you're gonna follow. And then after that, obviously
there's going to be base at one should be great. Uh, so go follow CryptoCamp Instagram,
obviously CryptoCamp, check them out. And I think I don't have anything else I want
to plug. I think that's it. Oh, uh, listen to, there's two bands you should listen to
killed by Eddie and cool parents. Listen to both those bands. They're phenomenal. Uh,
killed by Eddie surprise may or may not be making new intro music for us because I'm
tired of our intro music and it's going to be fucking baller. Sarge has no idea. This
has already been happening. It's been like two weeks in the work. I think they're in
the studio now recording. So I'm ready for it. Please give me lyrics that I can shout.
Oh yeah. It's going to be, it's going to be phenomenal. Uh, but with that out of the way,
Sarge, do you want to say goodbye? And I love you to the audience. Hey audience, goodbye.
I love you.