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Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of Cryptic Cocktail Party, a show where we

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have a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown. I'm your host Dave,

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joined as always by my wonderful co-host Sarge. How's it going Sarge?

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I'm snow everywhere. My whole neighborhood is fucking buried. I woke up at 4 a.m. to shovel

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before the rain started. So I'm real punchy right now. Let's go.

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And joining us on this week's episode is a very special guest. We have Ed Larson from

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Last Podcast on the Left and The Brighter Side. How's it going, man?

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What's up? Everything's great over here. Seventy five and sunny. I was deciding whether I'd

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wear a sweatshirt or a t-shirt today. Rub it in. Just got back from the farmers market,

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went and shopped outdoors and had a lovely time. It was great. I got some squash. I got

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some fish. I got some ground turkey trying to live over here. You know, we're doing our

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thing. Fish from a farmer's market.

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Yeah, man. Sorry about all the snow. It's oh, sorry about all the fire.

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You know, it's fucking you know, it happens. You know, what are you going to do? You know,

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you know, we had we threw a couple of benefits. Things are good. We're going to cure fire

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aid soon and everything's going to be fine. And, you know, I'm not really.

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I actually I have to go out to California in a couple of weeks. I work for a company

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and we have an office out there. And we were talking about the market difference of living

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in New England versus living in California. And they're like, oh, we have a bag that we

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keep if we have to evacuate. Yeah. And I was like, oh, we we do that, too. But it's just

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like a bag with like rock salt and a shovel in it.

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Yeah, it's just yeah. And liquor. Yeah, yeah, of course. And brass and brass knuckles. Oh,

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my God. We we played we played Medford, Massachusetts recently. Yeah. Which is right outside right

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outside of Boston, the home of Jingle Bells, which I learned. Yeah. But we so we my citizen

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app got switched. I don't know if you know what that is.

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From when I moved to Philly from New England, I downloaded it. Oh, my God. It's like literally

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it went from like random L.A. like, you know, you know, people in the in the walking down

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the street and protests to like it was every day. It was like fist fight in the street.

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They got an accent, you know, like it was like man attacks on the man with hammers,

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you know, like the Ducky's. Yeah. The citizen app is hands down a game. Like when I when

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I first moved to Philly, I downloaded it immediately. And the first notification I got was man walking

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down the street with a katana. And I. Yeah, man. It's like, fuck. I knew I moved to the

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right city. This is these are my people. Yeah. L.A. It's lots of machetes. Lots of I don't

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think the katanas are, you know, attached to the walls is like a presentation. Yeah.

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No, no, no. Don't use that. That's a katana. Yeah.

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This is what we kill people with. Yeah. It's good and dull. You'll love it. The machetes

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also too cheap. They're just like $15. You know, like by. Yeah. It's I think we need

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to up the price for everyone's safety. Fuck gun control. This is all about machete.

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I have woods behind my house and so it often grows into my yard in the springtime. So I

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bought a machete and I was like shocked at how cheap it was. I was like, this is great.

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Oh, yeah. I have like a ton of these. Yeah. I'll take six. Yeah. Dirt cheap. It's like

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this is my woods machete. This is my grill and machete. Yeah. All right, guys. So we

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ask this to every guest and I feel like I probably know the. But are you are you like

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a cryptids guy? Like, is this something that you I know you're friends with Henry, so you

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probably been talked at at length about them. Not so much. Yeah. I think they're a fun thing.

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I love them. I don't necessarily believe in them, you know, but I do love the idea of

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them and I think they're hilarious. I think if I had to choose my favorite, it'd be the

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Jersey Devil. Really? Yeah. It's the only Italian cryptid, you know. I eat your cats

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over here. So I'll be right back. I got to check on the sauce. Gold chains at all times.

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I got to eat some chicken. Stop bothering me. Luckily for you, I this episode is going

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to cover very many cryptids, if any at all. So I was actually having a really tough time

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coming up with a topic for this episode because like I tried to look into something crazy

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as folklore, some weird ass shit from around the world and everything I started researching

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pretty boring or way too in depth that I was like, this would be like a five part episode.

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I can't have Ed, you know, do that shit. Yeah. So actually, I think I came up with a pretty

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good idea and the inspiration actually came from you. So yeah, I realized that in like

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the two plus years or so that we've been doing this show, with the exception of the robot

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flowers of Dade City, we haven't really covered anything out of Florida. So yes. So it's just

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so today I thought what we do is we would take a little tour of Florida and cover a

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couple of the weirder myths, legends, folklore and whatever to come out of that state. So

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some of them you might be familiar with. Others you might not. I know the one that smells

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bad. The swamp skunk ape skunk ape skunk. Yeah, man. Yeah. I went to I went to middle

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school with him and I thought it was only appropriate because we do have a Florida legend

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with us right now. You were the largest baby in Florida at one point. Biggest baby born

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in Florida, baby. That's right. Fucking number one. Untouchable, except for the people who

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beat me afterwards. I was almost exactly three pounds heavier than I was in my little. So

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you were a big ass baby. Oh, I was a huge fat. You what? You were what, 12 pounds? No,

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I was you were 14. I was 14 pounds, 13 and a half ounces. Yeah. I was almost right. He

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wasn't respect on his name. Come on, man. Hell yeah, man. No, I was just a fucking cannonball

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when I came out. That's awesome, man. I was also three weeks late. So I was really like

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I was growing extra. That's really the problem. Learning to walk on the womb. Jesus Christ.

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Man, my first words were meat. I want more of it. Grind it up. I have my first cheeseburger

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in fucking three months, man. Full set of teeth when you were born. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

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Right out of the hospital. I was like, I'll take a Philly cheesesteak with which you bitch.

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Like, how do you know where Philadelphia is? Like, that's crazy. And then you unroll a

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map while I had this with me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll ever listen to the Allman Brothers,

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man. It's just rolling a joint. Just like, wow, this is crazy. Now, one would think that

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Florida of all places would be riddled with like cryptids, monsters, terrifying folkloric

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beasts. I mean, the setting for it is fucking right there. You got swamps, forests, lakes,

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the ocean, fucking just like the local population in general. But yeah, I gotta say, there's

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really not much going on there as far as like cryptids and folklore go. Like you got the

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abominable swamp slob known as the Skunk Ape, which is whatever, just a smelly mud covered

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Bigfoot so he can immediately go fuck himself. There's also like a big hammerhead shark that's

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been spotted between like the Everglades city and Tampa Bay that the locals lovingly call

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Old Hitler, which I mean, how? Why? Why would they call him Old Hitler? Apparently, apparently

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he was apparently he was spotted by yeah, he was spotted by GIs that came back from

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World War Two when they were fishing, like in Tampa Bay. So and then one of the things

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listed on the Florida folklore Wikipedia page was something listed as which after looking

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into it turns out it's just a racial slur for black children. So Jesus, God damn it.

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So I don't know what's going on down there. Florida is fucking wild. Yeah, man. That's

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a that sounds awful. It's one of those things that should be kept a secret. I don't know.

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I don't know what about that. We didn't tell a mass audience about it. Yeah, man. I tell

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you what, don't worry about it. Yeah. The you know, it's the thing when you go down

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to the down to the Everglades, man, I don't know if you all have ever been down there,

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but like everyone's so everyone's so fucking sunburned and shit. You can't even tell what

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race they are until they start saying racist shit. You know, it's fucking it's a nightmare.

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They take off their hat and their head looks like a Tylenol. Oh, OK. You're that. Well,

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needless to say, it did take me a minute, but I was able to find some actual weird shit

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that I think is worth discussing. And they're kind of ranked in like order of like least

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weird. So this is going to get pretty fucking wild. So the first story I have to share with

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you is actually a conspiracy. It's a very specific and very localized conspiracy. And

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that is that the invasive species of insect known as the love bugs were actually created

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in a lab at the University of Florida to help combat the mosquito population. Really? Yeah.

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Because love bugs are fucking everywhere my whole life. They're like as far as they're

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basically they're two big bugs that just like kind of like constantly attach each other

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to each other. And then they're just big and stupid and they just end up all over your

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windshield. And they're like they're harmless. They don't bite you or nothing. But they're

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like they call them love bugs because they're always like they look like they're constantly

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fucking but they're not. You know, I think they're just like they're just attached to

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each other. But yeah, it sounds like a like a polite Victorian way of saying you've got

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crabs. Yeah. Oh yeah. Why don't you go ahead and trim off your love bugs before you come

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to bed? Yeah. Yeah. From what I've from what I've gathered, they're kind of like the Florida

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version of like we have lantern flies in Philly. Like I don't know if you're familiar with

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lantern flies. They're fireflies. Yeah. No, no, no. Not fireflies. Lantern flies. They're

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an invasive species from like China or Japan. Something like that. There's a dumb fly that

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bangs India lights. Yeah, they're they're useless. They don't do anything. So so love bugs are

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kind of like Florida's version of that. Well, apparently the theory goes that supposedly

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in the 1950s, the University of Florida, the same people that brought you Gatorade, they

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were working on like a natural predator solution to mosquitoes. There's a lot of still water

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in Florida. So it stands to reason mosquitoes can be everywhere, dude. Yeah. Yeah. So what

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the scientists in these labs did was they created an experimental and genetically modified

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bug that would attack and kill the male mosquito population, which in turn would slow down

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the reproductive reproduction rate of all the mosquitoes. So the dude mosquitoes, no

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fucking no baby mosquitoes. That's just science. And they have electrolytes. So well, apparently

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before they could like fine tune their little science experiment, a couple of these fuckers

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escaped or were set free depending on the story being told. And from there, reproduced

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and spread like crazy, leaving Florida with not only a bunch of mosquitoes still, but

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now just like a fuck ton of useless love bugs who aren't even doing the one thing that they

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were created to do in the first place. It's weird how much this story aligns with the

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history of my family. Just big dumb people that are constantly reproducing. Oh yeah.

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And then, but you know, do they get killed easily too? Cause that's no, thankfully we

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live forever. They're just a plague upon society at this point. Yes. That would be an accurate

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way to describe my family. That is the thing with Florida, man. It's like the perfect ecosystem

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for like anything to live. Yeah. You've got like crazy pythons everywhere now. Oh dude.

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Everything's different even from when I was a kid. And also, I mean, I'm going to shamelessly

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plug my show. My tour is called invasive species. I'm coming. I'm doing, I'm doing, I'm doing

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a, I'm doing a, yeah, man. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm coming in. I'm doing, I'm

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doing a shows in Florida and March and may and a, yeah, I'm calling the whole tour, a

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invasive species ed Larson tours, Florida. Yeah, man. So that's good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

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No, because it's, it's crazy. What's happening down there. Like everywhere you look where

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I grew up in Boca Raton, Deerfield beach, that area, South Florida, the, um, there were

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no iguanas when I, I mean, like they're really good. Occasionally see one or two maybe they're

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fucking everywhere. Now they're like, just like statues of them. Now, like it's like,

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it's like, it's crazy. What's happening with cold. They just fall out the trees. Oh yeah,

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man. They do. And they fucking, and as soon as Florida people, man, they're smart as hell.

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They start like chopping them up, putting them meat on Facebook marketplace. You know,

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you can buy that shit down there. Oh, I'm sure it's great. If it's anything, if it's

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anything like alligator, I'm sure it's fucking delicious. Cause alligator alligator is really

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alligator is very good. They call it iguana, the chicken of the trees.

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Chicken of a slightly higher elevation.

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Well, well, we all find a good conspiracy fund. And this one, I guess has started around

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the, it was like in the 1960s, this one started, this is nowhere close to being true. In reality

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love bugs migrated from central America and we're actually making their way along the

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coasts of the Gulf of Mexico, America for a while. Come on. Show respect. I don't want

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to get banned like the AP, you know, but they're making their way up along the coast of the

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Gulf of Mexico, like for a while before even reaching Florida. In fact, Louisiana first

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discovered they were infested with love bugs 30 years before they even showed up in Florida.

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But yeah, so that's it. That's the, that's the conspiracy theory known as the love bug

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conspiracy. I don't know where it came from. It sounds like something that you like over

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here in like a small town dive bar and then someone just ran with it. Like that's the

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kind of theory this sounds like for sure. Well, you know, if there was like a weird

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invasive bug up here, someone would be pointing a finger at MIT. So like it kind of makes

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sense. Like that's true. Like, okay. Yeah. Well, the Irish MIT did it.

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That's the thing. Well, the people hate the university of Florida. Unless you either love

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university of Florida or you fucking despise it. You know, if you live in Florida. So I

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feel like they're like, Oh, that nerds up there, they brought the love bugs, you know,

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like they've, they've been playing with their science in the tubes and the bugs everywhere.

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Now they're trying to kill mosquitoes. The skaters ain't getting killed. You know, that's

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what it sounds like. So just bitter and fucking old man ranting about some bullshit that he

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heard. These college kids and their fucking mosquitoes. Do it. Learn a trade. All right.

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So the, the next stop on our trip around Florida takes us just west of Daytona beach to the

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wooded banks of the Tomoko river. Now there isn't anything actually like fucked up or

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super weird in the river. It's actually a sanctuary for manatees. So that's kind of

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nice. Uh, this is about what goes on. Like just a nice term for New York people who go

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to Florida in the summer. Just the bald ones. Yeah. But this is, so this is about what's

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going on in the surrounding woods. The river is fine. You can go in it. It's cool. Actually,

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I don't know if you can go in it. It's a sanctuary. I didn't look that part up either way, but

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so what is going on in the surrounding woods is what you may be asking yourselves. Well,

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the legend has it that a seemingly sentient pink mist forms that is said to consume the

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flesh of any living creature, unlucky enough to be trapped within it, leaving behind only

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the bleach bones of its victims. This is the story of the carnivorous pink cloud. Is this

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something you've ever heard before? Ed? I've never heard of it, but it definitely sounds

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like a chemical spill went wrong. Yeah. This is like the beginning of return to living

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dead. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So from what I've gathered, the story

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goes that beginning sometime around 1955, hunters and fishermen who frequented the

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area started to report that they were seeing a strange, thick pinkish mist that seemed

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to just form seemingly out of nowhere. They also said that the mist appeared to have the

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ability to move on its own, no matter what direction the wind was blowing, almost as

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as if we're alive and thinking on its own.

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Not great, but it gets worse.

191
00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:11,680
The pink mist is also said to have

192
00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:13,800
some sort of corrosive property to it.

193
00:18:13,800 --> 00:18:16,360
Like anything that got caught within it, animal or human,

194
00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:18,240
the mist would strip them of their flesh,

195
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:20,120
leaving behind only the bones.

196
00:18:20,120 --> 00:18:22,480
And some of the carcasses and remains that were discovered

197
00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:23,920
after the mist had rolled through

198
00:18:23,920 --> 00:18:27,080
that weren't fully quote unquote consumed by it,

199
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,280
were described as appearing to have been melted

200
00:18:29,280 --> 00:18:31,160
as if they were half digested.

201
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:35,400
Now, people even reported seeing this in action.

202
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,200
Like they would see an animal or something

203
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,560
get caught up in the mist, drop dead,

204
00:18:39,560 --> 00:18:42,160
and then they would witness it start to like dissolve

205
00:18:42,160 --> 00:18:43,360
right in front of them.

206
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:46,200
Are you okay?

207
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:47,640
Are you sure this isn't just like an off-brand

208
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:50,240
cotton candy flavored vape cloud?

209
00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:51,080
Yeah, yeah.

210
00:18:52,480 --> 00:18:54,360
Like somebody went to a gas station

211
00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:57,780
just outside a carnival and shit got sideways.

212
00:18:57,780 --> 00:18:58,620
Yeah, man.

213
00:18:58,620 --> 00:19:00,720
I mean, how are you gonna stare at like,

214
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:04,560
oh, that mist is fucking killing these people, these dogs.

215
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,840
And like, you think it's like just gonna not affect you?

216
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:10,640
Like no one has witnessed this.

217
00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:12,760
Unless they're in a hazmat suit,

218
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,920
there's no way anyone has seen this.

219
00:19:14,920 --> 00:19:15,760
Well, yeah.

220
00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:17,440
Well, I mean, over the several years

221
00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:19,560
that the fog was in action, roughly 10 years or so,

222
00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:23,240
so like 1955-ish to 1965-ish,

223
00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:25,440
it was actually been blamed for about a dozen

224
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:27,560
or so mysterious disappearances,

225
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:29,240
as well as multiple instances

226
00:19:29,240 --> 00:19:32,840
of unidentified human bones being discovered in the area.

227
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:33,680
Okay.

228
00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:34,880
I feel like this is just an allegory

229
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:36,760
for them being afraid of gay people.

230
00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:38,760
I don't know what that means.

231
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:39,600
Fuck.

232
00:19:42,480 --> 00:19:44,480
It's just like, what do you?

233
00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:45,920
Well, pink, hey.

234
00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:47,720
No, sorry, flush that idea out.

235
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:49,800
I wanna know where this is going.

236
00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:50,640
I know what you say.

237
00:19:50,640 --> 00:19:53,520
Gay people got pink farts and they think that.

238
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:58,520
I'm just saying, like these like old timey people

239
00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,440
that are terrified of gay people

240
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:03,800
and so they come up with a story

241
00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:05,600
to get their kids to avoid pink stuff.

242
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:06,440
Yeah.

243
00:20:06,440 --> 00:20:07,360
All right.

244
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:11,560
Don't wear pink clock, Junior.

245
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:13,720
It'll eat your skin.

246
00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:16,880
So like I said, it's been blamed

247
00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:19,400
for about a dozen or so mysterious disappearances,

248
00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:20,840
as well as multiple instances

249
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:23,000
of unidentified human bones being discovered.

250
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:24,480
And it's not just humans and animals

251
00:20:24,480 --> 00:20:25,800
that get fucked up by it.

252
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:28,520
It said that the bark is stripped from the trees,

253
00:20:28,520 --> 00:20:29,800
brushes dissolved.

254
00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,600
It basically just pretty much decimates any living thing

255
00:20:32,600 --> 00:20:34,080
that it comes in contact with.

256
00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:36,560
Not too far off from my own farts, to be honest with you.

257
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:38,080
All right, Jesus Christ.

258
00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:38,920
No.

259
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:43,640
Yeah, it's all that Narragansett making them farts.

260
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:45,240
Nothing farts like Narragansett.

261
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:51,040
No, according to local folklore,

262
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:54,480
apparently like everything that's awesome in the world,

263
00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:56,400
this all stems from a Native American legend

264
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:58,760
that traces all the way back to the,

265
00:20:58,760 --> 00:20:59,720
I don't know if I'm pronouncing this right,

266
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:01,120
the Tamucan people.

267
00:21:02,120 --> 00:21:04,880
The Tamuca peoples were like the indigenous peoples

268
00:21:04,880 --> 00:21:08,240
who lived in their region of Florida and Georgia, I believe.

269
00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:10,920
And they were like the largest indigenous tribe

270
00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:11,960
in the area.

271
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:13,960
I mean, the Seminoles.

272
00:21:13,960 --> 00:21:16,000
I just let you know what I researched and what I learned.

273
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,440
Okay, all right, all right, all right.

274
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:18,400
Don't come at me.

275
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:19,800
All right.

276
00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,320
I mean, they're bigger than the Seminoles.

277
00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:23,160
Dave, Dave, have a banana.

278
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:24,680
Your potassium levels are low.

279
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:25,520
You might die.

280
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:26,360
All right, so.

281
00:21:26,360 --> 00:21:27,200
So.

282
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:31,280
You know, it's an old Vaudeville thing.

283
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:33,400
If you take a banana for the road, man,

284
00:21:33,400 --> 00:21:34,960
you know, you always make sure you have a banana

285
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,720
before you go on stage so you don't cramp up up there.

286
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:38,560
There you go.

287
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:39,560
It's a real thing.

288
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:42,360
There was, I didn't know this at the time,

289
00:21:42,360 --> 00:21:44,400
but there's some logic behind what I said.

290
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:45,720
All right.

291
00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:50,720
Well, yeah, so the Tamuqua peoples,

292
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:52,760
being the indigenous peoples who live in the region

293
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:55,200
before us, whites kind of, you know,

294
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:56,960
fucked it all up for them.

295
00:21:56,960 --> 00:21:59,840
But the legend goes that Chief Tom Key

296
00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:01,760
committed what was considered by the tribe

297
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:03,760
to be a bit of a whoopsie.

298
00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:06,880
Apparently, he stole a sacred golden cup

299
00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:08,840
and used it to drink from a spring

300
00:22:08,840 --> 00:22:10,400
that was said to have had healing

301
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:12,920
and protective properties.

302
00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:15,440
This led to pretty much all-out tribal warfare.

303
00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:18,320
Basically, every tribe in the region wanted this man dead.

304
00:22:18,320 --> 00:22:20,920
Safe to say, he kind of fucked up,

305
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:24,560
but he pretty much got through like this whole war,

306
00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:28,440
like unscathed, that is, until a lovely young maiden

307
00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:31,080
by the name of Olita shot him through the heart

308
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:34,080
with a poison arrow before she herself was shot

309
00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,120
and killed by a poison arrow.

310
00:22:36,120 --> 00:22:39,160
And apparently, it's not really clarified,

311
00:22:39,160 --> 00:22:41,600
this for some reason cursed him to wander eternally

312
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:44,600
in the mist and just fucking fuck shit up with it.

313
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:45,480
I don't know, it's all very weird.

314
00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:48,520
But yeah, so that's the story of the carnivorous pink mist.

315
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:51,880
And you've never heard this before?

316
00:22:51,880 --> 00:22:53,960
I never heard of the pink mist, you know,

317
00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:56,800
but I didn't, Daytona is like one of the few areas

318
00:22:56,800 --> 00:22:58,240
I never lived in Florida,

319
00:22:58,240 --> 00:23:00,920
so that might be their whole bullshit up there.

320
00:23:00,920 --> 00:23:03,840
The thing is with Florida,

321
00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:07,360
there's so many scary things that are just like real,

322
00:23:07,360 --> 00:23:10,360
you know, it's like no reason to make stuff up, you know?

323
00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:12,200
That's what I'm saying, like dude,

324
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:14,920
trying to find like research things that are like,

325
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,800
like mythological or folklorish or cryptids,

326
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:21,560
like no, they have real shit to be worried about.

327
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:23,280
They're not fucking making up,

328
00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:26,600
like weird shit to talk about that'd be like,

329
00:23:26,600 --> 00:23:27,840
like what would that even be?

330
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:29,920
Like you have alligators, don't go by the river,

331
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:31,520
there's an alligator, like why the fuck?

332
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:34,920
Alligators fight bears in Florida, you know?

333
00:23:34,920 --> 00:23:39,280
Like it's like, fuck your squonk, you know,

334
00:23:39,280 --> 00:23:42,160
or your skunk ape, you know, like, oh, just,

335
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:46,000
oh, this bear smells bad?

336
00:23:46,000 --> 00:23:49,280
Yeah, well, thanks to you, that's the worst you got.

337
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:53,320
Everything smells bad, see humidity, man.

338
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:58,320
This is such, so many valid points right now.

339
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:04,280
Now, for our final story,

340
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:06,360
we're gonna be heading into North Port, Florida.

341
00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:08,000
And in researching the story,

342
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:11,520
I found that North Port, Florida seems boring as fuck, dude.

343
00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:13,920
Like, and I found out that some people there believe

344
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:15,600
that a sinkhole in the middle of the park

345
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:16,920
is actually the Fountain of Youth.

346
00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:18,960
And I think that's dumb and they should feel bad

347
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:20,280
about themselves for thinking that

348
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:21,400
because that's pretty stupid.

349
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,120
But I feel like every small town in Florida is like,

350
00:24:24,120 --> 00:24:25,400
oh, we got the Fountain of Youth.

351
00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,400
This is where Ponce de Leon showed up.

352
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:28,760
I don't know, apparently North Port thinks

353
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:29,800
they have the Fountain of Youth

354
00:24:29,800 --> 00:24:31,440
because a sinkhole is there.

355
00:24:31,440 --> 00:24:33,480
Where is North, North Port?

356
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:36,280
Oh, it's in the middle of Florida too.

357
00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:40,080
It's below Sarasota, so it's not even that north.

358
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:42,080
You know, in no way Ponce de Leon's making it

359
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:43,640
on the West Coast of Florida.

360
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:44,480
Yeah.

361
00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:45,440
That's a long trip.

362
00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:46,960
He ain't going up in there.

363
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,600
That's some lost ass Spaniard right there.

364
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:50,440
Yeah, I know.

365
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:51,280
See?

366
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:52,120
See?

367
00:24:52,120 --> 00:24:52,960
See?

368
00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:54,800
That's what I'm saying.

369
00:24:54,800 --> 00:24:56,880
They should feel bad because it's dumb

370
00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:58,200
and they should not think this at all.

371
00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:02,000
But just because a town is lame doesn't mean that

372
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:04,000
every once in a while, some really un-lame shit

373
00:25:04,000 --> 00:25:05,440
can't happen there, right?

374
00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:06,280
For sure.

375
00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:08,080
Yeah, well, lucky for us, in 2009,

376
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:10,440
some really un-lame shit did happen

377
00:25:10,440 --> 00:25:12,720
when Vietnam vet Michael Rowley

378
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:16,200
and his 16-year-old son Shane became the victims

379
00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:20,400
of what I would call shared delusions of mental illness,

380
00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:22,640
but others have called what they experience

381
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:24,280
the North Port Devil.

382
00:25:24,280 --> 00:25:28,160
So this story is fucking bananas.

383
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:29,000
It's got everything.

384
00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,800
It's got tall grays, lizard people,

385
00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:35,680
cloven-hoved flying beings, UFOs, and dragons.

386
00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:37,920
This is like Alex Jones's Narnia.

387
00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:41,080
Yeah, but I think, I'm pretty sure DeSantis

388
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:43,560
put all those things in the Florida Constitution.

389
00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:49,040
They're gonna be on the new flag, I believe, so it's fine.

390
00:25:59,760 --> 00:26:00,680
Amazing.

391
00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:04,720
So their story goes that this father and son duo

392
00:26:04,720 --> 00:26:08,120
moved into their new home in North Port in April,

393
00:26:08,120 --> 00:26:10,880
I believe, of 2009, and shit just like immediately

394
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:12,360
got fucking weird, so.

395
00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:14,080
Wait, this is 2009?

396
00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:14,920
Yeah.

397
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:18,280
The Vietnam vet with a 16-year-old son in 2009?

398
00:26:18,280 --> 00:26:19,920
He got started late.

399
00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:20,760
Yeah, man.

400
00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:21,600
Yeah.

401
00:26:21,600 --> 00:26:23,200
I got a feeling that's not his sperm.

402
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:27,400
Yeah.

403
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:29,080
Thanks, Juan DeSantis.

404
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:29,600
Yeah.

405
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:36,760
So their experiences started out like your typical strange

406
00:26:36,760 --> 00:26:38,320
lights in the sky above their home.

407
00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:40,840
Shane started saying that he was seeing some weird,

408
00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:43,520
like, aliens wandering about in the backyard at night.

409
00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:44,880
Just normal Florida shit.

410
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:46,800
Nothing like too, too crazy.

411
00:26:46,800 --> 00:26:49,440
But not long after that, Shane claimed

412
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:51,120
he was woken up in the middle of the night

413
00:26:51,120 --> 00:26:55,520
to see a 10-foot tall, big-eyed, bulbous-headed gray alien

414
00:26:55,520 --> 00:26:59,040
with a naturally long arm standing outside his window.

415
00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:02,520
He said in an interview with an investigator, quote,

416
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:05,760
I just woke up and saw this big, tall, gray-looking dude.

417
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:09,240
The full moon was on him, so I could see everything about him.

418
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:10,520
I could see his skin.

419
00:27:10,520 --> 00:27:15,440
He was very tall, about 9 foot, 10 foot, end quote.

420
00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:16,360
Damn.

421
00:27:16,360 --> 00:27:17,400
So that's weird.

422
00:27:17,400 --> 00:27:18,320
Definitely weird.

423
00:27:18,320 --> 00:27:19,240
Definitely weird.

424
00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:19,760
Yeah.

425
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:22,400
But this encounter gets a lot weirder.

426
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:26,240
So according to Shane, as he was staring out

427
00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:27,960
at this massive, bulbous-headed fuck just

428
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:30,960
standing in his window, he noticed a second creature.

429
00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:33,320
This one, he said, was a scaly reptoid

430
00:27:33,320 --> 00:27:35,320
with a rounded, heart-shaped head.

431
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,880
And he was just kind of crouching down, posted up

432
00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:40,680
against the trunk of a palm tree and bobbing his head

433
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:41,640
from side to side.

434
00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:44,920
No.

435
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:48,040
Now, this encounter only lasted about five minutes,

436
00:27:48,040 --> 00:27:49,920
or Shane thinks, at least.

437
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:51,640
He remembers seeing the entities,

438
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:53,000
and then the next thing he knows,

439
00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:54,960
he's waking up in his bed in the same position,

440
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:58,080
but has no recollection of falling back asleep.

441
00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:01,960
And as we know from numerous alien abduction cases,

442
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:04,400
missing time is one of the staple side effects

443
00:28:04,400 --> 00:28:05,840
of being abducted.

444
00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:06,480
But who knows?

445
00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:08,840
Maybe he did just fall asleep after being abruptly

446
00:28:08,840 --> 00:28:12,320
woken by a 10-foot-tall alien and a reptoid out his window.

447
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:13,920
I don't know if I could do that.

448
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:16,800
I feel like I'd be very conscious of what's going on.

449
00:28:16,800 --> 00:28:17,640
Yeah.

450
00:28:17,640 --> 00:28:18,640
Maybe I'd stay awake.

451
00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:21,400
Maybe it was just an Agent Orange flashback.

452
00:28:21,400 --> 00:28:22,800
You know, and it's just like.

453
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:26,760
No, this was the sun.

454
00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:27,760
Oh, OK.

455
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:29,920
It could be passed down through DNA, probably.

456
00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:33,160
Who knows?

457
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:35,240
I mean, we're still learning about the effects,

458
00:28:35,240 --> 00:28:38,120
so maybe he's got some fucking.

459
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:39,440
Either way, I love Shane.

460
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:42,240
This kid is like, he's super nonchalant

461
00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:44,320
about his encounters.

462
00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:46,520
He went on to tell the investigators,

463
00:28:46,520 --> 00:28:48,200
they kind of show up when they want.

464
00:28:48,200 --> 00:28:49,480
You get used to him.

465
00:28:49,480 --> 00:28:51,560
But it's weird to see them walking around the woods

466
00:28:51,560 --> 00:28:53,080
with those big eyes, end quote.

467
00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:59,200
So they say the same thing about my kids all the time.

468
00:28:59,200 --> 00:29:01,000
I think it's actually kind of beautiful,

469
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:03,320
because most people in Florida would just shoot it.

470
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:06,560
You know, and so the fact that, you know, that he's like down

471
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:09,240
and just like, let it be, I think that's very progressive

472
00:29:09,240 --> 00:29:12,520
as far as like Floridians go, because, you know.

473
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:15,200
Now, compared to Shane's father, Michael,

474
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:17,080
Shane had it pretty mild.

475
00:29:17,080 --> 00:29:20,880
His father apparently was also being plagued by an entity.

476
00:29:20,880 --> 00:29:24,080
A flying red eyed, cloven, hove beast,

477
00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:26,600
that kind of sounds like he's just describing the Jersey

478
00:29:26,600 --> 00:29:29,680
devil, was said to have been harassing Michael.

479
00:29:29,680 --> 00:29:33,640
He said the creature was, quote, it's about yay big

480
00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:35,600
with pure deep red eyes.

481
00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:37,440
And it just looked at me for a second.

482
00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:40,680
I haven't seen the wings, but I knew he was a beast.

483
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:44,080
I haven't seen the wings, but I knew he flyed, end quote.

484
00:29:44,080 --> 00:29:47,160
I love that he's just like this grizzled old Vietnam vet

485
00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:50,000
being mercilessly harassed.

486
00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:50,840
I know.

487
00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:52,360
I'm just kidding.

488
00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:53,360
It's kids like that.

489
00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:55,240
I don't know what your problem is.

490
00:29:55,240 --> 00:29:58,680
I've never, I just, choosing that something flies

491
00:29:58,680 --> 00:30:01,320
when you haven't seen it fly or its wings,

492
00:30:01,320 --> 00:30:03,200
it's just like, it's such a bold thing.

493
00:30:03,200 --> 00:30:04,200
I assume he flies.

494
00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:05,440
That thing flies.

495
00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:06,280
Yeah.

496
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:10,240
My favorite part is that he didn't say I knew it flew,

497
00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:11,760
is I knew he flyed.

498
00:30:11,760 --> 00:30:12,840
I don't think that's...

499
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:17,840
He even made like plaster casts of the beast hoof prints.

500
00:30:22,200 --> 00:30:25,400
And there's like, apparently there's some video footage

501
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,320
of the alleged events that happened around the home,

502
00:30:27,320 --> 00:30:29,320
but the evidence is if he had best,

503
00:30:29,320 --> 00:30:32,440
actually the plaster casts that he took,

504
00:30:32,440 --> 00:30:34,160
when we'll get to it in a second,

505
00:30:34,160 --> 00:30:37,400
but he fucked it up by putting his hands in it.

506
00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:40,720
So it's clearly manipulated by, like...

507
00:30:43,320 --> 00:30:45,800
It's not great, but...

508
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:48,480
This is some Dale Gribble level bullshit right here.

509
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:52,360
Boil some Mountain Dew, it's gonna be a long night.

510
00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:55,160
Dude, it gets worse.

511
00:30:55,160 --> 00:31:00,000
So on May 19th, 2009, now this is just a month,

512
00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:02,040
all this has happened over the course of a month

513
00:31:02,040 --> 00:31:03,720
of them living there.

514
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:06,960
The father and son decided to get in contact with Mufon,

515
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:10,160
who sent over an investigator by the name of Morgan Beale

516
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:12,640
to figure out what's going on at this house.

517
00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:14,600
You know, they would come over, they would, you know,

518
00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:16,880
examine the claims, interview the witnesses,

519
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:18,760
typical Mufon shit.

520
00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:21,920
Now, apparently Mufon did uncover some things

521
00:31:21,920 --> 00:31:24,280
that they decided needed further investigation,

522
00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:26,920
but it seemed that Michael wasn't really too keen

523
00:31:26,920 --> 00:31:31,360
on the idea and was obstructing their ability to do so.

524
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:34,800
In the report that Mufon put out, it says, quote,

525
00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:37,880
based on the analysis of the witnesses' account,

526
00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:42,520
photographs, video evidence, and footprint plaster casts,

527
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:44,960
it is in the opinion of the field investigator

528
00:31:44,960 --> 00:31:48,440
assigned to this case and Mufon that the events

529
00:31:48,440 --> 00:31:52,200
as accounted by eyewitnesses is unexplainable

530
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:54,200
and the unusual occurrences that took place

531
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:55,920
at the aforementioned address

532
00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:57,640
warranted further investigation.

533
00:31:57,640 --> 00:32:00,200
However, events and communication

534
00:32:00,200 --> 00:32:02,640
between Mr. Michael Rowley prevented Mufon

535
00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:05,200
from proceeding with said investigation, end quote.

536
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:09,200
Now, why would he block any further investigation?

537
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:10,160
I don't know.

538
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:11,880
Seems kind of suspicious.

539
00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:14,880
Like, dude, you called them,

540
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:16,960
they didn't just show up at your house randomly

541
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:19,240
and start interviewing, like you asked for this.

542
00:32:19,240 --> 00:32:20,640
Like, why would you deny?

543
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:22,400
One thing I know about Mufon,

544
00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:24,800
it's really the only thing I know about Mufon,

545
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:27,320
is they love to get money.

546
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:29,480
So I bet that these motherfuckers like,

547
00:32:29,480 --> 00:32:31,400
oh, we gotta run this test,

548
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:33,640
but you gotta spend this, this and that.

549
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:34,680
These guys are like, what the fuck?

550
00:32:34,680 --> 00:32:35,520
Get the hell out of here.

551
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:36,880
I'm not giving you, you know.

552
00:32:36,880 --> 00:32:41,280
Mufon is like, they're very obsessed with getting paid.

553
00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:42,120
Oh.

554
00:32:42,120 --> 00:32:44,600
But also the one thing I know about Mufon is that

555
00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:45,840
they're not very biased.

556
00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:47,400
Like you could tell them any story.

557
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:48,920
They're like, oh shit, what, fucking really?

558
00:32:48,920 --> 00:32:49,760
Yeah.

559
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:50,600
That happened to you?

560
00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:51,440
No way.

561
00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:52,520
Like, they're not.

562
00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:54,440
They never disagree.

563
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:55,260
It's not like.

564
00:32:55,260 --> 00:32:56,320
They're like, no, that's not possible.

565
00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:57,560
No, they're like, oh shit, yeah dude,

566
00:32:57,560 --> 00:32:59,000
fucking we'll investigate this.

567
00:32:59,000 --> 00:33:01,000
Now give me like 400 bucks.

568
00:33:01,000 --> 00:33:01,840
And then, you know.

569
00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:03,840
See, I didn't know that you had to pay Mufon.

570
00:33:03,840 --> 00:33:05,280
That ruins it for me.

571
00:33:05,280 --> 00:33:08,840
Oh, if you want to join Mufon, it's really expensive.

572
00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:09,680
It is like.

573
00:33:09,680 --> 00:33:10,500
You want to join Mufon?

574
00:33:10,500 --> 00:33:11,340
Yeah.

575
00:33:11,340 --> 00:33:12,180
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

576
00:33:12,180 --> 00:33:14,280
It's like you call them to like come and investigate.

577
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:15,560
You're doing them a favor.

578
00:33:15,560 --> 00:33:16,840
They have to do zero research.

579
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:18,160
They just have to show up.

580
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:19,760
And then they're like, pay me.

581
00:33:19,760 --> 00:33:22,380
Also, I have no, I have no idea

582
00:33:22,380 --> 00:33:23,760
that that's what they do or not,

583
00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:25,060
but I'm just saying I wouldn't put it

584
00:33:25,060 --> 00:33:26,600
past these cheap motherfuckers.

585
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:27,440
Oh, okay.

586
00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:28,280
Okay.

587
00:33:28,280 --> 00:33:29,840
It's more of me accusing them

588
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:33,000
than me knowing anything in particular.

589
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:36,600
I just love the idea of like this grizzled old vet

590
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:39,360
and like Mufon shows up and is like, fuck you.

591
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:40,880
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

592
00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:41,720
You got it.

593
00:33:41,720 --> 00:33:43,840
But like, you can't be mad at them for showing up.

594
00:33:43,840 --> 00:33:45,000
You called them.

595
00:33:45,000 --> 00:33:47,040
Like why block them from doing the one thing

596
00:33:47,040 --> 00:33:47,880
that you asked them to do?

597
00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:51,040
Probably some shenanigans with Mufon just being, you know.

598
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:53,440
But whatever the case may be for it,

599
00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:56,680
the family, they continue to report strange encounters.

600
00:33:56,680 --> 00:33:58,200
It got to the point where they avoided

601
00:33:58,200 --> 00:34:00,920
even leaving the house after dark.

602
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:02,800
And they definitely didn't go outside

603
00:34:02,800 --> 00:34:03,700
when it was the full moon,

604
00:34:03,700 --> 00:34:04,920
because that's when the creatures

605
00:34:04,920 --> 00:34:05,960
are more active allegedly.

606
00:34:05,960 --> 00:34:10,960
But, but just because they were slowly becoming like,

607
00:34:12,040 --> 00:34:13,960
prisoners in their own home,

608
00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:15,680
that didn't stop Michael from believing

609
00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:17,320
that the creatures came in peace

610
00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:20,440
and that they were actually there for a good purpose.

611
00:34:20,440 --> 00:34:23,260
At least that's what he thought at first.

612
00:34:23,260 --> 00:34:24,800
Now, not so much.

613
00:34:24,800 --> 00:34:27,920
He did like a little 180 on that position.

614
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:30,000
Once a new entity answered to the chat.

615
00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:32,320
And according to several emails

616
00:34:32,320 --> 00:34:34,560
sent to different Mufon investigators,

617
00:34:34,560 --> 00:34:36,200
as well as Michael's own website,

618
00:34:36,200 --> 00:34:39,560
Northportdevil.com, which is no longer active.

619
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:41,320
Ah, I was literally like,

620
00:34:41,320 --> 00:34:43,280
you saw me like going with my fingers.

621
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:46,240
I know, it's a shame.

622
00:34:46,240 --> 00:34:48,200
I was hoping it was like black background

623
00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:50,040
with green writing.

624
00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:52,200
It was definitely probably like an angel fire site,

625
00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:53,040
for sure.

626
00:34:53,040 --> 00:34:55,520
That had the most aggressive coloring.

627
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:59,560
Now, he and his boy are now having to deal

628
00:34:59,560 --> 00:35:03,000
with their entire neighborhood being full to the brim

629
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:05,040
with people who seem to have the ability

630
00:35:05,040 --> 00:35:09,360
to transform into dragons.

631
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:10,200
Ooh.

632
00:35:12,320 --> 00:35:14,020
And he really seemed to have a problem

633
00:35:14,020 --> 00:35:16,920
with one neighbor in particular named Paul.

634
00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:18,440
Now, according to Mike,

635
00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:19,280
Paul the dragon.

636
00:35:19,280 --> 00:35:23,960
This neighbor Paul had been trying to befriend his son,

637
00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:26,680
Shane, and apparently Paul liked to spend

638
00:35:26,680 --> 00:35:30,520
an inordinate amount of time smoking on a street corner,

639
00:35:30,520 --> 00:35:34,440
just waiting for his chance to transform back into a dragon,

640
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:35,800
which is his true form.

641
00:35:35,800 --> 00:35:38,200
And I don't know which of these accusations is worse,

642
00:35:38,200 --> 00:35:42,000
like the grown man trying to befriend a child,

643
00:35:42,000 --> 00:35:43,200
or the fact that he's a dragon

644
00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:45,040
with like a violent nicotine addiction.

645
00:35:45,040 --> 00:35:48,120
Like, I don't know which one's worse to be a keystone.

646
00:35:48,120 --> 00:35:50,680
I mean, he never has to look for a lighter.

647
00:35:50,680 --> 00:35:52,200
So that's good.

648
00:35:52,200 --> 00:35:54,200
Yeah, that's fair.

649
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:56,800
In one of the emails he wrote to Mufon,

650
00:35:56,800 --> 00:35:59,040
he said about his neighborhood, quote,

651
00:35:59,040 --> 00:36:01,320
I have a concern I need you to understand.

652
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:04,120
I think my whole neighborhood are dragons.

653
00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:05,800
One neighbor, not Paul,

654
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:08,560
he specifically makes sure that this is not Paul,

655
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:12,280
has a dragon sticker on his truck.

656
00:36:12,280 --> 00:36:13,120
Oh, that's-

657
00:36:13,120 --> 00:36:14,120
I've read a lot about dragons.

658
00:36:14,120 --> 00:36:15,160
Dead indicator.

659
00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:17,360
Yeah, dead, he's got them dead to rights.

660
00:36:17,360 --> 00:36:19,040
Yeah.

661
00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:20,600
I read a lot about dragons.

662
00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:24,040
They can be friendly if you keep their secrets.

663
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:25,560
Remember when I first talked to you,

664
00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:27,800
this creature jumped on our house.

665
00:36:27,800 --> 00:36:29,800
I know you think I'm a little loony,

666
00:36:29,800 --> 00:36:31,000
but this is my assessment.

667
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:31,840
Just a little.

668
00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:33,440
They leave us alone now,

669
00:36:33,440 --> 00:36:35,760
but what will happen to us if they get mad?

670
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:38,440
I have exposed their comfortable neighborhood.

671
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:40,400
All of my neighbors are friendly now,

672
00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:42,360
but what if I expose them?

673
00:36:42,360 --> 00:36:45,480
I don't think they would like you exposing them either.

674
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:46,880
Now they leave me alone.

675
00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:49,200
What happens after the photos are digitized

676
00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:50,720
and cleared and published,

677
00:36:50,720 --> 00:36:52,960
am I going to be clawed to death?

678
00:36:52,960 --> 00:36:53,800
End quote.

679
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:54,640
Oh God.

680
00:36:54,640 --> 00:36:55,720
No one's gonna see it.

681
00:36:55,720 --> 00:36:58,360
I'm very surprised that you found it, Dave.

682
00:36:58,360 --> 00:36:59,680
This is amazing.

683
00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:03,400
Yeah, I don't think anyone's gonna have any idea.

684
00:37:03,400 --> 00:37:04,520
This guy's just like,

685
00:37:04,520 --> 00:37:08,200
he's ready to like accuse anyone of being a monster.

686
00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:10,200
He's just like, oh, you got a tiny mustache

687
00:37:10,200 --> 00:37:11,560
and your eyes are wide apart.

688
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:13,160
Are you Hitler Hammerhead?

689
00:37:13,160 --> 00:37:14,000
You know, like-

690
00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:17,120
I don't wanna get too deep into details here, but-

691
00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:18,680
You fucking old Hitler.

692
00:37:18,680 --> 00:37:21,960
Can we all just feel bad for Paul the Dragon?

693
00:37:21,960 --> 00:37:24,560
Because you've got like dragons like Azeroth

694
00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:27,880
and Grimfrost and it's like, I am Paul.

695
00:37:27,880 --> 00:37:28,720
Yeah.

696
00:37:28,720 --> 00:37:29,560
Yes.

697
00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:30,400
Yes.

698
00:37:31,320 --> 00:37:32,400
You know, this isn't-

699
00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:33,240
I just feel,

700
00:37:33,240 --> 00:37:35,480
I feel bad for the actual human named Paul,

701
00:37:35,480 --> 00:37:39,520
that this man is just accusing of being a dragon trying to,

702
00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:40,920
but also not, actually, I don't feel bad for Paul.

703
00:37:40,920 --> 00:37:42,280
He's trying to befriend a 16 year old.

704
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:43,120
That's fucking wild.

705
00:37:43,120 --> 00:37:47,720
Also, 2009, isn't that right when that alien movie

706
00:37:47,720 --> 00:37:49,800
named Paul came out with Seth Rogen?

707
00:37:49,800 --> 00:37:51,040
Oh, right.

708
00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:51,880
The weed smoke-

709
00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:53,200
No, that was way later than that.

710
00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:54,040
Was it?

711
00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:57,240
No, it had to be like, I honestly think it was like 2009.

712
00:37:57,240 --> 00:38:00,040
It was, it was, hold on a second.

713
00:38:00,040 --> 00:38:00,880
You know, as wild as that,

714
00:38:00,880 --> 00:38:02,040
I actually kind of fuck with that movie.

715
00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:02,880
I like some of the things in the cross.

716
00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:03,720
2011. 2011.

717
00:38:03,720 --> 00:38:04,560
2011.

718
00:38:04,560 --> 00:38:05,400
Okay, 2011.

719
00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:06,240
Yeah.

720
00:38:06,240 --> 00:38:07,080
So, all right, so yeah, so okay.

721
00:38:07,080 --> 00:38:08,560
No relation, no relation.

722
00:38:08,560 --> 00:38:09,400
Right.

723
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:14,400
So, so far we have, we got aliens, reptilians,

724
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:19,400
the Jersey devil and dragons just ruining this family's life.

725
00:38:20,520 --> 00:38:23,400
So like, how, how could this get any worse?

726
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:24,240
Right?

727
00:38:24,240 --> 00:38:25,080
Well-

728
00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:28,160
You again, got a theory yet?

729
00:38:28,160 --> 00:38:29,080
No, I'm excited.

730
00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:31,560
I didn't know there was another thing coming, you know?

731
00:38:31,560 --> 00:38:35,000
I actually, the real problem here is definitely mental health,

732
00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:35,840
but we'll get to-

733
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:36,680
Yeah, yeah.

734
00:38:36,680 --> 00:38:37,520
You know?

735
00:38:37,520 --> 00:38:38,760
I think we solved the case.

736
00:38:38,760 --> 00:38:41,440
Did I not say that at, did I not say that up top

737
00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:43,280
at the beginning of this segment?

738
00:38:43,280 --> 00:38:45,600
Yeah, you know, we had a lot of fun and just clue them in.

739
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:46,440
Yeah.

740
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:50,600
So, so how could this get any worse?

741
00:38:50,600 --> 00:38:53,600
Well, why, why don't we just, you know, bring in the devil,

742
00:38:53,600 --> 00:38:57,840
the Mayan doomsday prophecy and the lost planet of Nibiru

743
00:38:57,840 --> 00:38:59,280
in on the action?

744
00:38:59,280 --> 00:39:01,080
And he's got some good theories about all of it

745
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:03,920
on the homepage of his website.

746
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:06,680
I hate when idiots read, you know, it's just like,

747
00:39:06,680 --> 00:39:08,360
just don't, you're so stupid.

748
00:39:08,360 --> 00:39:09,480
Just don't read.

749
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:11,640
You're not, you're not going to read the right shit.

750
00:39:11,640 --> 00:39:12,480
You know, just-

751
00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:13,320
Dude.

752
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:19,560
The amount of websites that I've had to visit

753
00:39:19,560 --> 00:39:22,840
that are just purely like neon green font

754
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:25,840
on like a bright red background is-

755
00:39:25,840 --> 00:39:27,920
Is that really what you need to read?

756
00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:30,920
Like is the white, is the white background too much?

757
00:39:30,920 --> 00:39:33,920
To find this, like to find this shit.

758
00:39:33,920 --> 00:39:34,760
Yeah, I got it.

759
00:39:34,760 --> 00:39:35,760
It's not great.

760
00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:36,720
That's why I got glasses.

761
00:39:36,720 --> 00:39:37,560
These are new.

762
00:39:37,560 --> 00:39:38,600
I haven't had to wear glasses before.

763
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:46,040
But what on earth of research you've had to do with this show is blinded you.

764
00:39:46,040 --> 00:39:47,040
Yeah.

765
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:48,040
Oh my God.

766
00:39:48,040 --> 00:39:52,520
Now on the homepage of his website, he wrote this quote.

767
00:39:52,520 --> 00:39:57,780
Now, if everyone listening should remember this is 2009, 2010 timeframe.

768
00:39:57,780 --> 00:39:58,960
So this is way in the past.

769
00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:03,840
Now he said, quote, in December 2012, it is reported that the earth is going to switch

770
00:40:03,840 --> 00:40:07,880
poles due to the planet and the beer, who passing close to earth.

771
00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:12,800
It is totally going to turn upside down, but it can't be December 2012.

772
00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:18,880
The Mayan calendar created by Satan to tell the time of his demise is off by four years,

773
00:40:18,880 --> 00:40:21,400
more like October or November, 2016.

774
00:40:21,400 --> 00:40:28,020
The bureau was real and the dragons and reptilians and UFOs at my property are real.

775
00:40:28,020 --> 00:40:31,880
The North port devil is real is the devil.

776
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:37,120
He is also known as Leviathan, the crooked serpent, the dragon and quote.

777
00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:44,640
So I don't, the only thing about this that kind of makes sense is that I feel I remember

778
00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:48,940
the 2012 thing, but I also do remember, I feel like there was a doomsday thing with

779
00:40:48,940 --> 00:40:52,200
billboards and stuff in 2016 saying the world was going to end.

780
00:40:52,200 --> 00:40:53,960
Well, that's what did I make that up?

781
00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:54,960
Trump became president.

782
00:40:54,960 --> 00:40:56,440
The first time was November, 2016.

783
00:40:56,440 --> 00:40:58,440
I'll tell you that much.

784
00:40:58,440 --> 00:41:00,440
And that's just across the other side of Florida.

785
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:06,000
You see it, you know, it's kind of a dragon, you know, he's got, he's got shitty eyes,

786
00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:07,000
you know, who knows?

787
00:41:07,000 --> 00:41:09,880
He's always in the woods chipping away at golf balls.

788
00:41:09,880 --> 00:41:15,680
You know, his kind of physical embodiment of Paul the dragon, like lackluster in almost

789
00:41:15,680 --> 00:41:16,680
every respect.

790
00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:19,680
Oh my God.

791
00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:23,520
It was a rough time, you know, 2016.

792
00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:26,400
I now understand why he goes to Florida all the time.

793
00:41:26,400 --> 00:41:27,960
He heard old Hitler was there.

794
00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:28,960
Yeah, he was the guy.

795
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:32,760
Yeah, he's going to he's going to be in his cabinet.

796
00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:38,040
Yeah, I mean, it's the new minister of education.

797
00:41:38,040 --> 00:41:41,280
Yeah, no, that's actually Linda McMahon.

798
00:41:41,280 --> 00:41:42,280
Fucking banana.

799
00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:43,280
I know.

800
00:41:43,280 --> 00:41:44,280
Yeah.

801
00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:48,960
Did you see did you see Triple H in the fucking he was in the back of Linda McMahon during

802
00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:54,040
the Senate hearings and he took a sip of water and he almost tilted his head up to like spit

803
00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:55,040
it out.

804
00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:56,040
You can see like, oh wait, not now.

805
00:41:56,040 --> 00:41:57,040
Not now.

806
00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:58,040
Oh, I forget.

807
00:41:58,040 --> 00:41:59,520
Yeah, it's probably not a good idea.

808
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:00,520
Yeah, I'll wait.

809
00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:01,520
I'll wait.

810
00:42:01,520 --> 00:42:02,880
I'll wait.

811
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:08,160
Literally like she's like the queen of head injuries and she's the department of education.

812
00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:14,640
What's going to happen when she visits schools like Triple H is going to be body slamming

813
00:42:14,640 --> 00:42:19,600
teachers throwing jitters across the cafeteria.

814
00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:20,600
Oh my God.

815
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:24,400
To be fair, when I was when I was in school in New Hampshire, knowing that Triple H is

816
00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:28,040
from New Hampshire, if Triple H showed up at my school and started bombing body slamming

817
00:42:28,040 --> 00:42:29,640
teachers, I'd be fucking hyped as far.

818
00:42:29,640 --> 00:42:30,640
Oh my God.

819
00:42:30,640 --> 00:42:31,640
Are you kidding me?

820
00:42:31,640 --> 00:42:36,280
I would have he would have won everyone over at my school to love the DGNeration X came

821
00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:37,840
and just start to have people suck it, dude.

822
00:42:37,840 --> 00:42:38,840
Fucking hell, yeah, dude.

823
00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:39,840
Comes in.

824
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:43,360
I'm a kid who actually got suspended for doing that on stage.

825
00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:48,120
He was running for like the suckers president or whatever in middle school and he did the

826
00:42:48,120 --> 00:42:49,120
hell.

827
00:42:49,120 --> 00:42:52,120
Yeah, that's all.

828
00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:53,800
That's a winner right there, man.

829
00:42:53,800 --> 00:42:55,720
That's a fucking brother.

830
00:42:55,720 --> 00:42:58,040
No, he did not win the election.

831
00:42:58,040 --> 00:43:03,120
You know, after this whole fucking spiel about Nibiru and all that stuff, there isn't much

832
00:43:03,120 --> 00:43:07,000
information about what's been going on with Michael and his son, Shane.

833
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:12,520
Like I said, the website that Mike ran, Northport Devils dot com is no longer active and I couldn't

834
00:43:12,520 --> 00:43:16,240
find any blogs or anything that he may have ran.

835
00:43:16,240 --> 00:43:21,600
But there is still a YouTube channel and it's called Northport Devils that I'm pretty sure

836
00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:22,600
is his.

837
00:43:22,600 --> 00:43:23,600
Hell yeah.

838
00:43:23,600 --> 00:43:25,280
It's got over a hundred videos.

839
00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:29,920
Most of them are less than like a minute long and it's just videos of someone videotaping

840
00:43:29,920 --> 00:43:35,280
a TV like an old tube TV, a glass screen, a curved glass screen.

841
00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:39,920
He's videotaping a TV while it plays video evidence that they themselves recorded.

842
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:40,920
It's awesome.

843
00:43:40,920 --> 00:43:45,920
Instead of just like uploading directly.

844
00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:51,840
They haven't posted anything in about nine years, but about 12 years ago, they started

845
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:58,720
posting about how Quetzalcoatl, the Mayan god, was buzzing around outside of their house.

846
00:43:58,720 --> 00:43:59,720
So that's OK.

847
00:43:59,720 --> 00:44:05,400
But yeah, these guys sound like maybe they discovered Ayahuasca and just never looked

848
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:06,400
back.

849
00:44:06,400 --> 00:44:08,480
Yeah, it sounds like it's more like the dad.

850
00:44:08,480 --> 00:44:10,520
And this is kind of like that movie Bug situation.

851
00:44:10,520 --> 00:44:11,720
I don't know if you've ever seen that.

852
00:44:11,720 --> 00:44:14,960
I think it's actually Judd and someone else.

853
00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:18,360
They the guy convinces her that there's bugs everywhere.

854
00:44:18,360 --> 00:44:20,160
And he was like a tin foil house now.

855
00:44:20,160 --> 00:44:21,160
You know what I'm talking about?

856
00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:22,640
It's kind of like that.

857
00:44:22,640 --> 00:44:27,120
I think the sun kind of got out of it because I think it's I think it's mostly just Michael

858
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:30,400
at this point who's suffering from some sort of breakdown.

859
00:44:30,400 --> 00:44:34,760
But I don't know all the information and sites I could find like they just stopped updating

860
00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:37,000
about the goings on in Northport and his family.

861
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:41,000
So we're going to call this one here and say that it's an ongoing story.

862
00:44:41,000 --> 00:44:45,000
But according to one source I found, it seems like Mike and his kid don't regret moving

863
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:46,640
to Northport.

864
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:50,280
Mike having been quoted as saying, quote, Well, I'm retired.

865
00:44:50,280 --> 00:44:52,400
I thought this is where you're supposed to go.

866
00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:55,360
The only bad part is the aliens around here.

867
00:44:55,360 --> 00:44:56,360
And quote.

868
00:44:56,360 --> 00:45:01,800
So he's like, I mean, there's dragons everywhere, but the property tax is very low.

869
00:45:01,800 --> 00:45:05,840
What are you going to do?

870
00:45:05,840 --> 00:45:09,080
The man there ain't shit going on in Northport, man.

871
00:45:09,080 --> 00:45:10,080
I'll tell you that much.

872
00:45:10,080 --> 00:45:11,080
Amazing.

873
00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:12,080
It's boring as fuck, dude.

874
00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:14,880
I tried to find like everyone's like, I was trying to find like something interesting

875
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:16,360
about a town that we're talking about.

876
00:45:16,360 --> 00:45:23,160
This is the one time where there's the sinkhole that people think are the is the fountain

877
00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:24,160
of youth.

878
00:45:24,160 --> 00:45:25,640
And I think there's like a museum.

879
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:26,640
That's about it.

880
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:30,000
This is a sinkhole is not a fountain of youth.

881
00:45:30,000 --> 00:45:32,520
It's literally a sign of the world dying.

882
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:39,800
It's like, there's just like old TVs and washing machines, like shit people tried to throw

883
00:45:39,800 --> 00:45:40,800
out.

884
00:45:40,800 --> 00:45:41,800
Oh my God.

885
00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:43,680
What's funny is that like on TripAdvisor.

886
00:45:43,680 --> 00:45:46,960
So TripAdvisor will give you like interesting things to do, like in a city and it'll give

887
00:45:46,960 --> 00:45:49,440
you like things in the actually underneath it.

888
00:45:49,440 --> 00:45:51,880
It'll give you like nearby stuff.

889
00:45:51,880 --> 00:45:52,880
That's interesting.

890
00:45:52,880 --> 00:45:58,880
So the two things in Northport were like the sinkhole and like some like jewelry store or

891
00:45:58,880 --> 00:45:59,880
whatever.

892
00:45:59,880 --> 00:46:04,640
And then nearby, the second best thing to do was a Sitgo gas station.

893
00:46:04,640 --> 00:46:06,720
So it's not like ideal.

894
00:46:06,720 --> 00:46:07,720
It's not.

895
00:46:07,720 --> 00:46:08,720
Oh yeah, man.

896
00:46:08,720 --> 00:46:09,720
The sick.

897
00:46:09,720 --> 00:46:13,880
Well, it was to be fair, it was the deli inside.

898
00:46:13,880 --> 00:46:20,720
Oh, well, yeah, no one like a good Jewish deli inside of a sicko.

899
00:46:20,720 --> 00:46:22,720
Everyone likes that.

900
00:46:22,720 --> 00:46:31,640
I'm a shrami on rye with you with a little regular unleaded.

901
00:46:31,640 --> 00:46:34,600
The sinkholes are all over Florida, by the way.

902
00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:35,600
They're fucking everywhere.

903
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:40,200
I used to always go to this one in the middle of the woods outside of Tallahassee.

904
00:46:40,200 --> 00:46:41,200
And it was fun.

905
00:46:41,200 --> 00:46:44,960
It was really cool because you can like climb up in the trees and jump like 30 feet to the

906
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:45,960
sinkhole.

907
00:46:45,960 --> 00:46:49,760
And the sinkhole was so deep, like no one knew exactly like how deep it was.

908
00:46:49,760 --> 00:46:56,720
I mean, and then they one time the FSU sent a diving team down there and the entire sinkhole

909
00:46:56,720 --> 00:46:58,560
is like lined with trees.

910
00:46:58,560 --> 00:47:00,820
You know, it's like it is it's thick.

911
00:47:00,820 --> 00:47:06,480
But they found a fire truck in the sinkhole, which makes no fucking sense.

912
00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:11,960
It makes no sense whatsoever because like there isn't a gap in between trees wide enough

913
00:47:11,960 --> 00:47:13,500
for a fire truck.

914
00:47:13,500 --> 00:47:17,880
And so like everyone's so confused why there's a fire truck in the middle of the sinkhole

915
00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:18,880
right outside of town.

916
00:47:18,880 --> 00:47:19,880
That is insane.

917
00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:20,880
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

918
00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:24,520
It's that's a mystery that I need to look into because that's fucking hilarious.

919
00:47:24,520 --> 00:47:25,520
Really cool.

920
00:47:25,520 --> 00:47:30,960
I like that every state has like a hole that people jump into to swim.

921
00:47:30,960 --> 00:47:36,720
Yeah, we had the quarries for a long time and people would like push cars in there and

922
00:47:36,720 --> 00:47:39,040
that's where you dump all your shit and kids around here.

923
00:47:39,040 --> 00:47:40,480
Like that was like a badge of courage.

924
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:41,480
You would jump into the quarries.

925
00:47:41,480 --> 00:47:42,480
I was too young.

926
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:46,160
I never got to because they they filled them in for the big dig.

927
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:47,160
Yeah.

928
00:47:47,160 --> 00:47:53,440
But you would hear all the time about it still going on.

929
00:47:53,440 --> 00:47:54,440
It's done now.

930
00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:55,440
It's done now.

931
00:47:55,440 --> 00:48:00,800
Because you is it though like one or two of the concrete tiles falling out of the tunnel

932
00:48:00,800 --> 00:48:05,800
because it was put up there by a guy who lives exclusively on Bud Light.

933
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:06,800
You'll be fine.

934
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:13,280
Dude, I fucking worked in Worcester, Massachusetts for a year, and I was in this.

935
00:48:13,280 --> 00:48:14,280
I'm so sorry.

936
00:48:14,280 --> 00:48:15,280
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

937
00:48:15,280 --> 00:48:20,020
I was in this warehouse where it's like a store fixtures like shelving for stores.

938
00:48:20,020 --> 00:48:21,020
That's what they sold.

939
00:48:21,020 --> 00:48:26,400
And there was there was one dude who worked there who drank an entire cube of Bud Light

940
00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:29,640
every day while he worked.

941
00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:33,320
He would go out to his car and bang like three out and then come back.

942
00:48:33,320 --> 00:48:38,080
I'm like, and he drank 30 every shift.

943
00:48:38,080 --> 00:48:39,080
It was and he like normal.

944
00:48:39,080 --> 00:48:41,080
He didn't like he didn't seem drunk.

945
00:48:41,080 --> 00:48:43,200
Like he didn't fucking it was crazy.

946
00:48:43,200 --> 00:48:44,860
He got his job done.

947
00:48:44,860 --> 00:48:49,680
It was I never see anything like a 30 rack of functioning alcohol.

948
00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:51,320
Like that is.

949
00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:54,160
But yeah, but there you have it.

950
00:48:54,160 --> 00:48:55,880
That's our tour around Florida.

951
00:48:55,880 --> 00:48:56,880
And how you feeling about it?

952
00:48:56,880 --> 00:48:58,000
I know this is great.

953
00:48:58,000 --> 00:49:01,480
I need this information for my Florida tour coming up.

954
00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:02,800
This is exactly what.

955
00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:03,800
Thank you.

956
00:49:03,800 --> 00:49:04,800
I appreciate you.

957
00:49:04,800 --> 00:49:05,800
Go find the sinkhole.

958
00:49:05,800 --> 00:49:06,800
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

959
00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:11,400
I'm going to I'm now going to do a North Shore, a Northport show to tens of people.

960
00:49:11,400 --> 00:49:22,800
It's one of those bars that has a fence around the stage, like the one from fucking Roadhouse.

961
00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:24,680
It's just like people throw beer bottles.

962
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:26,240
I ask him where the mic is.

963
00:49:26,240 --> 00:49:27,240
They hand me a megaphone.

964
00:49:27,240 --> 00:49:35,240
You know, it's like one of those little microphones you give to a kid that just echoes.

965
00:49:35,240 --> 00:49:39,520
Oh, yeah, it has it has a tape.

966
00:49:39,520 --> 00:49:43,400
Oh, man.

967
00:49:43,400 --> 00:49:44,400
This was lovely.

968
00:49:44,400 --> 00:49:47,360
I haven't actually haven't heard of any of this stuff, so it's really fucking cool.

969
00:49:47,360 --> 00:49:51,360
I only knew about I only knew about the skunk cape and I knew a love bugs because, you know,

970
00:49:51,360 --> 00:49:52,360
they're just torturous.

971
00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:53,360
You'd occasionally.

972
00:49:53,360 --> 00:49:57,600
But you know what the conspiracy theory behind never heard the conspiracy theory, but you

973
00:49:57,600 --> 00:50:01,680
know, it makes someone had to explain why they were fucking everywhere and swallow them

974
00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:02,680
occasionally.

975
00:50:02,680 --> 00:50:04,240
You definitely like you.

976
00:50:04,240 --> 00:50:05,240
Oh, yeah.

977
00:50:05,240 --> 00:50:10,160
Because you know, you're just happy as hell riding your bike with your mouth open.

978
00:50:10,160 --> 00:50:12,320
Fucking next thing you know, it's coming out your nose.

979
00:50:12,320 --> 00:50:13,320
It's fucking disaster.

980
00:50:13,320 --> 00:50:15,320
We have that problem with ladybugs.

981
00:50:15,320 --> 00:50:16,320
Oh, yeah.

982
00:50:16,320 --> 00:50:18,320
But at least they're cute.

983
00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:19,320
Yeah.

984
00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:20,880
But I mean, swallowing them sucks.

985
00:50:20,880 --> 00:50:25,880
I know I could imagine up to up to North Conway in New Hampshire.

986
00:50:25,880 --> 00:50:31,640
It's like this like nice little I want to say a resort because it's New Hampshire, but

987
00:50:31,640 --> 00:50:34,440
it's like a nice town and you can go ski in there in the winter.

988
00:50:34,440 --> 00:50:36,760
And in the summer, there's rivers everywhere.

989
00:50:36,760 --> 00:50:39,640
Took my son up there in the fall because the foliage is beautiful and we were going to

990
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:43,000
go riding a train.

991
00:50:43,000 --> 00:50:44,000
He was three, dude.

992
00:50:44,000 --> 00:50:45,000
And he was super.

993
00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:48,360
I was going to remember the foliage.

994
00:50:48,360 --> 00:50:53,800
So he's he's standing with me and he's like, oh, oh, oh, dad, I swallowed a bug.

995
00:50:53,800 --> 00:50:55,960
And I'm like, don't eat bugs, man.

996
00:50:55,960 --> 00:50:56,960
What's wrong with you?

997
00:50:56,960 --> 00:51:00,040
And then like a couple seconds later, he does it again.

998
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:03,120
And now I'm like, all right, do I need to take him to another school?

999
00:51:03,120 --> 00:51:05,320
Like, yeah, we got to do here.

1000
00:51:05,320 --> 00:51:06,320
One more bugs.

1001
00:51:06,320 --> 00:51:07,320
Yeah, it happens.

1002
00:51:07,320 --> 00:51:12,920
So it happens a third time.

1003
00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:14,720
And I'm like, what the fuck is going on?

1004
00:51:14,720 --> 00:51:19,560
And I look behind him and the wall is just covered with ladybugs.

1005
00:51:19,560 --> 00:51:21,840
And so really are flying.

1006
00:51:21,840 --> 00:51:23,520
That's on you for being a neglectful parent.

1007
00:51:23,520 --> 00:51:24,960
You should have noticed this shit right away.

1008
00:51:24,960 --> 00:51:26,960
I mean, ladybugs are not a threat.

1009
00:51:26,960 --> 00:51:30,200
Yeah, they look apparently they are near your kid.

1010
00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:32,240
Barely gets going to die.

1011
00:51:32,240 --> 00:51:33,240
It's fine now.

1012
00:51:33,240 --> 00:51:34,480
He's got great grades.

1013
00:51:34,480 --> 00:51:35,480
He's totally normal.

1014
00:51:35,480 --> 00:51:36,480
Oh, yeah.

1015
00:51:36,480 --> 00:51:37,480
All right.

1016
00:51:37,480 --> 00:51:44,880
And great grades for Boston is like a D plus.

1017
00:51:44,880 --> 00:51:50,280
Well, that all out of the way.

1018
00:51:50,280 --> 00:51:52,720
I think we're coming up to the end of the episode.

1019
00:51:52,720 --> 00:51:54,360
And I want to thank you so much for coming on.

1020
00:51:54,360 --> 00:51:57,520
I was a nervous wreck if you can't tell by the name before you go.

1021
00:51:57,520 --> 00:51:58,800
Yeah, you guys are shipwrecked.

1022
00:51:58,800 --> 00:51:59,800
So you guys.

1023
00:51:59,800 --> 00:52:00,800
Yeah.

1024
00:52:00,800 --> 00:52:01,800
Wreck and roll over here, man.

1025
00:52:01,800 --> 00:52:04,360
You guys are all wrecked.

1026
00:52:04,360 --> 00:52:10,080
So I guess with that out of the way, Ed, do you want to do you want to plug anything you

1027
00:52:10,080 --> 00:52:11,080
got going on?

1028
00:52:11,080 --> 00:52:12,080
Invasive species.

1029
00:52:12,080 --> 00:52:13,760
Ed Larson tours Florida.

1030
00:52:13,760 --> 00:52:15,680
I'm coming, baby.

1031
00:52:15,680 --> 00:52:20,320
March 20th, Jacksonville, 21st and 22nd, Panama City.

1032
00:52:20,320 --> 00:52:21,320
I don't give a shit.

1033
00:52:21,320 --> 00:52:22,320
They said stay away.

1034
00:52:22,320 --> 00:52:23,400
I was like, fuck it.

1035
00:52:23,400 --> 00:52:24,400
I'm going anyway.

1036
00:52:24,400 --> 00:52:25,400
Beaches Comedy Club.

1037
00:52:25,400 --> 00:52:29,440
And then I'm doing Tallahassee on March 23rd.

1038
00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:33,160
That show is going to be with Danny Bedrosian of P Funk.

1039
00:52:33,160 --> 00:52:37,360
He's also he's yeah, he's for UNH fame.

1040
00:52:37,360 --> 00:52:41,200
He used to have a band up there called Sweet Mother Child.

1041
00:52:41,200 --> 00:52:44,480
I don't know if you guys saw them back in the day.

1042
00:52:44,480 --> 00:52:48,280
But yeah, no, but Danny's a keyboard player for Parliament Funkadelic.

1043
00:52:48,280 --> 00:52:50,440
He's got his own band called Some Fierce.

1044
00:52:50,440 --> 00:52:52,660
They're celebrating their anniversary.

1045
00:52:52,660 --> 00:52:58,900
And this is also the same theater that used to be a gay club in Tallahassee called Brothers.

1046
00:52:58,900 --> 00:53:00,800
Now it's called 926 Bar.

1047
00:53:00,800 --> 00:53:04,000
But it's where Henry and I started comedy together.

1048
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:05,860
Henry's a browse case.

1049
00:53:05,860 --> 00:53:10,760
So I get so I get to return to the old stopping grounds and like really and do it up.

1050
00:53:10,760 --> 00:53:13,840
So I'm so excited to go 926 Bar.

1051
00:53:13,840 --> 00:53:15,920
That's gonna be on March 23rd.

1052
00:53:15,920 --> 00:53:19,120
And then in May, I'm doing another tour in South Florida.

1053
00:53:19,120 --> 00:53:22,800
I'm going to be in Naples on May 6.

1054
00:53:22,800 --> 00:53:29,320
Daniel Beach, which is Fort Lauderdale on May 7th and then Orlando on May 8th and then

1055
00:53:29,320 --> 00:53:32,880
May 9th, 10th and 11th Key West, baby.

1056
00:53:32,880 --> 00:53:36,400
It's going to be wild three nights in Key West, three nights.

1057
00:53:36,400 --> 00:53:39,840
It's going to be a while far south for the Key West show.

1058
00:53:39,840 --> 00:53:42,680
Dude, I'll I'll love Key West.

1059
00:53:42,680 --> 00:53:46,080
It's fucking silly ass town, man.

1060
00:53:46,080 --> 00:53:51,440
It's it is going to be I'm going to be working out of a hole the entire time I'm there, but

1061
00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:52,580
I'll give a shit.

1062
00:53:52,580 --> 00:53:53,580
It's going to be so much fun.

1063
00:53:53,580 --> 00:53:57,360
Yeah, that Panama City, I think are going to be the tough shows, but you're going to

1064
00:53:57,360 --> 00:53:58,360
want to come check it out.

1065
00:53:58,360 --> 00:54:01,720
And I heard they're animals in Naples as well, but I can't wait.

1066
00:54:01,720 --> 00:54:02,840
These are my people.

1067
00:54:02,840 --> 00:54:07,240
The one in Naples is at a fish fry restaurant called Off the Hook.

1068
00:54:07,240 --> 00:54:13,360
Yeah, man, I used to I know it was like my job in Florida for like seven years.

1069
00:54:13,360 --> 00:54:18,320
So I'm like ready to like hop on the line and cook some fish and then and then go yell

1070
00:54:18,320 --> 00:54:19,320
at you fuckers.

1071
00:54:19,320 --> 00:54:21,860
So come on out to any of these shows.

1072
00:54:21,860 --> 00:54:25,080
So Daniel Beach in Orlando is going to be with Henry Zabrowski.

1073
00:54:25,080 --> 00:54:30,240
We're going to do actual side story shows as well as my little stand up.

1074
00:54:30,240 --> 00:54:35,960
I love that your tour schedule is that of like a cross punk band that has achieved has

1075
00:54:35,960 --> 00:54:38,660
achieved some level of success with like nodded.

1076
00:54:38,660 --> 00:54:41,240
We can't we can't give up our roots.

1077
00:54:41,240 --> 00:54:44,000
We have we have to play at a fish fry.

1078
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:45,000
Oh, my God.

1079
00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:47,920
When I they were like they're like, I don't think you want this place.

1080
00:54:47,920 --> 00:54:49,240
And they like explained it to me.

1081
00:54:49,240 --> 00:54:50,240
I was like, book that immediately.

1082
00:54:50,240 --> 00:54:51,240
No, no, no, no.

1083
00:54:51,240 --> 00:54:52,240
I need to shit my life.

1084
00:54:52,240 --> 00:54:53,240
They're like people.

1085
00:54:53,240 --> 00:54:54,240
I'm tired of playing.

1086
00:54:54,240 --> 00:54:55,240
Yes.

1087
00:54:55,240 --> 00:55:01,320
I'm tired of playing palladiums like we need I need to fucking I need a palette on the

1088
00:55:01,320 --> 00:55:03,160
floor as my stage.

1089
00:55:03,160 --> 00:55:04,160
That's what I need.

1090
00:55:04,160 --> 00:55:06,760
They notoriously booed Sam Morrill off the stage.

1091
00:55:06,760 --> 00:55:08,840
And I was like, OK, I was like, you know what?

1092
00:55:08,840 --> 00:55:12,600
I was like, I think they're going to love me for some reason.

1093
00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:15,520
You know, well, you're there people.

1094
00:55:15,520 --> 00:55:18,000
That's why like you like you are who they are.

1095
00:55:18,000 --> 00:55:20,080
This is a full Florida set.

1096
00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:21,360
There's a reason I'm going to Florida.

1097
00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:28,720
I have an hour of Florida material and I'm going about 20 minutes of more Florida.

1098
00:55:28,720 --> 00:55:30,520
It's make fun of them.

1099
00:55:30,520 --> 00:55:31,520
Thank you, brother.

1100
00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:32,520
I appreciate it.

1101
00:55:32,520 --> 00:55:33,840
This has been so much fun.

1102
00:55:33,840 --> 00:55:36,680
Sarge, Dave, I'm glad I came on the show.

1103
00:55:36,680 --> 00:55:38,400
Hopefully you all have me back in the future.

1104
00:55:38,400 --> 00:55:39,400
Yeah, absolutely.

1105
00:55:39,400 --> 00:55:40,400
I hope so.

1106
00:55:40,400 --> 00:55:41,680
And this was a truly a blast.

1107
00:55:41,680 --> 00:55:43,080
This is truly a blast.

1108
00:55:43,080 --> 00:55:44,080
Yeah.

1109
00:55:44,080 --> 00:55:48,600
Do you if people want to find you, where they can where can they find any tunes dot com,

1110
00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:49,600
baby?

1111
00:55:49,600 --> 00:55:51,160
I got all the things Eddie Tunes.

1112
00:55:51,160 --> 00:55:57,080
You know, I got all the last podcast based on the high end based comedy is there, man.

1113
00:55:57,080 --> 00:55:59,160
We got any shows that I got going on.

1114
00:55:59,160 --> 00:56:00,160
I got my Patreon.

1115
00:56:00,160 --> 00:56:02,720
It's Patreon dot com slash Eddie Tunes.

1116
00:56:02,720 --> 00:56:06,160
It's mostly music based, you know, not comedy, unfortunately.

1117
00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:09,320
So if you're a big music head and you want to you want to get down on what I'm throwing

1118
00:56:09,320 --> 00:56:10,320
down, that's what's over there.

1119
00:56:10,320 --> 00:56:11,320
I'm a music head.

1120
00:56:11,320 --> 00:56:12,320
So I do come.

1121
00:56:12,320 --> 00:56:15,920
I got all do the Eddie Tunes to our radio hour.

1122
00:56:15,920 --> 00:56:24,040
I like sent myself to DJ Fantasy Camp and I and even if you're a free member of the Patreon,

1123
00:56:24,040 --> 00:56:25,840
you get to listen to most of the episodes.

1124
00:56:25,840 --> 00:56:27,400
So make sure you all check that out.

1125
00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:28,400
Fucking not.

1126
00:56:28,400 --> 00:56:33,240
Well, I did make sure to wear my Black Dyer Murder shirt just for you because it's an amazing

1127
00:56:33,240 --> 00:56:35,800
band, but also because I was a big fan of that series.

1128
00:56:35,800 --> 00:56:36,800
That was awesome.

1129
00:56:36,800 --> 00:56:37,800
It was good.

1130
00:56:37,800 --> 00:56:38,800
It was really good.

1131
00:56:38,800 --> 00:56:39,800
Sorry.

1132
00:56:39,800 --> 00:56:42,800
Just saying you want to plug before we sign off.

1133
00:56:42,800 --> 00:56:47,240
I know you got some stuff going on, unfortunately, should have Sarge go first before.

1134
00:56:47,240 --> 00:56:50,920
No, I appreciate you letting me go again.

1135
00:56:50,920 --> 00:56:53,640
Yeah, I got more shit.

1136
00:56:53,640 --> 00:56:56,200
I'll just switch out the audio.

1137
00:56:56,200 --> 00:56:57,200
We'll figure it out.

1138
00:56:57,200 --> 00:56:58,840
Anyway, Sarge, what do you got to say?

1139
00:56:58,840 --> 00:56:59,840
The Sgt.

1140
00:56:59,840 --> 00:57:05,400
Supernormal coloring book is unfortunately still a relevant thing because a very terrible

1141
00:57:05,400 --> 00:57:07,080
person got reelected.

1142
00:57:07,080 --> 00:57:09,660
So you can purchase that.

1143
00:57:09,660 --> 00:57:11,200
It's nine ninety nine on Amazon.

1144
00:57:11,200 --> 00:57:14,280
Sarge's supernormal dot com.

1145
00:57:14,280 --> 00:57:15,280
You can color.

1146
00:57:15,280 --> 00:57:20,840
There's activities or you could just, you know, like roll it up and cook with it because

1147
00:57:20,840 --> 00:57:21,840
fuel prices are very.

1148
00:57:21,840 --> 00:57:22,840
You can swap love bugs with it.

1149
00:57:22,840 --> 00:57:23,840
That's all you really need to know.

1150
00:57:23,840 --> 00:57:26,840
Yeah, it comes down to it.

1151
00:57:26,840 --> 00:57:27,840
Yeah.

1152
00:57:27,840 --> 00:57:30,560
Sarge's supernormal dot com.

1153
00:57:30,560 --> 00:57:31,680
Don't get distracted.

1154
00:57:31,680 --> 00:57:36,320
It's just a link to the Amazon, but it's easier to say than the Amazon link.

1155
00:57:36,320 --> 00:57:37,320
And that's all.

1156
00:57:37,320 --> 00:57:38,320
That's all I got.

1157
00:57:38,320 --> 00:57:39,320
Hell yeah, man.

1158
00:57:39,320 --> 00:57:43,040
But also one day you'll get to write in a book with words in it.

1159
00:57:43,040 --> 00:57:44,040
No, I.

1160
00:57:44,040 --> 00:58:03,440
You guys want to if you guys want to follow us at Crypto Cocktail on Instagram, we got

1161
00:58:03,440 --> 00:58:07,560
a page on it's three dollars a month if you just want to support the show.

1162
00:58:07,560 --> 00:58:10,920
You know, you get a shout out on the show, seven dollars a month if you want unedited

1163
00:58:10,920 --> 00:58:15,080
video episodes of the show, that'll be seven dollars a month.

1164
00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:17,800
Plus some extra goodies we'll throw in there as well.

1165
00:58:17,800 --> 00:58:21,900
And with that out of the way, normally Sarge says goodbye and love it to the audience.

1166
00:58:21,900 --> 00:58:24,400
But Eddie, would you like to say goodbye and love it to the audience?

1167
00:58:24,400 --> 00:58:26,320
Hey, everybody, goodbye.

1168
00:58:26,320 --> 00:58:27,320
And I love you.

1169
00:58:27,320 --> 00:58:28,320
Oh, you did kisses.

1170
00:58:28,320 --> 00:58:34,280
Oh, yeah, we're throwing consent out the window.

1171
00:58:34,280 --> 00:58:35,280
Let me see.

1172
00:58:35,280 --> 00:58:36,280
Let me see.

1173
00:58:36,280 --> 00:58:37,280
Let me see.

1174
00:58:37,280 --> 00:58:38,280
Let me see your bottom.

1175
00:58:38,280 --> 00:58:42,040
Oh, I'm going to suck the berries out your ass.

1176
00:58:42,040 --> 00:58:44,200
Oh, you're so beautiful.

1177
00:58:44,200 --> 00:58:51,760
This was a mistake.

1178
00:58:51,760 --> 00:58:53,040
Thank you guys for having me on.

1179
00:58:53,040 --> 00:58:54,040
This was a blast.

1180
00:58:54,040 --> 00:59:18,040
You guys are fucking awesome.