1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:28,040 Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of Cryptic Cocktail Party, a show where we 2 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:31,960 have a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown, I'm your host Dave, 3 00:00:31,960 --> 00:00:39,920 joined as always by the Ulog aka Sarge. What's going on buddy? What up? It's the holiday season 4 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:48,640 and I don't have to work for a little more than a week so I have started drinking. I mean 5 00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:55,080 what better time than now plus you know? Yeah. Also that's I'm so jealous. I wish my company 6 00:00:55,080 --> 00:00:59,120 works like that where hey you know what? Nothing going on. Let's just not come into work but. 7 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:03,560 There's no reason to be here. We're not accomplishing anything. Yeah. I mean I'm 8 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:12,080 gonna go. I'm gonna do my job the best I can and then you know whatever. I mean it's very 9 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:19,520 different from the world I came from. I mean working in retail, everybody, your life is just 10 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:25,280 one big nightmare working from you know the beginning of the holidays all the way through 11 00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:30,040 12 hour days. Yeah. Now I work for a company where everybody starts their vacation a week 12 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:36,000 before the holidays and doesn't end their vacation until a week after the holidays so I just don't 13 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:42,920 have anything to do for like three weeks and so I'm off for a week but last week I was basically 14 00:01:42,920 --> 00:01:46,640 off and the week that I come back will I'll basically be off. That's kind of basically 15 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:52,120 how it's gonna be where I am. I feel like I earned it you know. I feel like I put in 16 00:01:52,120 --> 00:01:56,920 my dues working as a waiter and working in retail and now I'm gonna be a corporate shill 17 00:01:56,920 --> 00:02:01,720 and I'm okay with that. I was gonna say this sounds very I was gonna say I don't know I'm 18 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:07,720 a cog in the machine. I get it. I know what I am. I almost said class trader. I feel like 19 00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:11,880 that's a little. No because I'm I'm undermining the system from the inside. Gotcha. That's 20 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:16,560 how you do it. Yeah. I'm just enjoying my time off but I'm still. Yeah but you're still sticking 21 00:02:16,560 --> 00:02:21,240 it to the man. Absolutely. Gotcha. Because I'm hourly. Oh yeah me too. I'm hourly so 22 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:28,360 I I can still do overtime and that's how I stick it to the man. Oh you need this done 23 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:33,320 by five o'clock. I get so many other things I need to do after five o'clock now. Yeah 24 00:02:33,320 --> 00:02:38,640 it might be like seven. Seven o'clock you know like these things take time. I don't 25 00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:43,080 think you understand that they take time. Exactly. Exactly. All right. Well it's even 26 00:02:43,080 --> 00:02:48,240 funnier because I don't even have to lie because we regularly have calls with our partners 27 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:53,400 in California. So I some they're like no you can punch out a couple hours if you want. 28 00:02:53,400 --> 00:02:57,600 I'm like no no no no. I'm gonna work until 8 p.m. Eastern Standard Time after starting 29 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:01,800 at 8 a.m. Eastern Standard Time. I'm gonna roll with it. You know why would I clock out. 30 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:09,200 I'll take an extra 15 call it a day. We're good. Exactly. Exactly. All right. So today 31 00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:13,880 as I'm sure you know is a is our holiday episode. Yeah. If you're wondering why I'm wearing 32 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:17,600 the Santa Claus hat it actually works really well with the headphones. I was very concerned 33 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:21,920 it was gonna look stupid. It actually looks really good. I wear it well. It looks like 34 00:03:21,920 --> 00:03:26,480 it's supposed to fit. Yeah. It's supposed to be that way. Not bad right. Yeah. I didn't 35 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:34,600 I didn't take 10 minutes to make it look this way. It's fine. But yeah this is a holiday 36 00:03:34,600 --> 00:03:41,640 season so I figured we're gonna do a holiday. We'll get into it. But anyway so for the most 37 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:46,760 for most people they associate the holiday season with Santa Claus eggnog and frantic 38 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:50,720 runs to 7-eleven to grab a Christmas card and some scratch tickets the morning of because 39 00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:54,560 you forgot to get your dad a real gift which is something I have done several times in 40 00:03:54,560 --> 00:03:59,640 there. I've actually done it so much that when I wrote because you forgot in my script 41 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:06,560 I actually put I forgot which means you tell it on yourself. Hopefully your dad doesn't 42 00:04:06,560 --> 00:04:11,240 listen. No my dad doesn't even know how to find a podcast even if he wanted to. Perfect. 43 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:17,680 Perfect. Same with my dad. So we're good. But but since this show is what it is and we are 44 00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:22,900 who we are we're gonna bum everyone out and talk about the darker side of the holidays. 45 00:04:22,900 --> 00:04:27,480 Last year we covered Grea and the Yulets. This is before this is before your time. But 46 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:32,440 in keeping in that tradition we're gonna cover another legend in the annals of folklore history 47 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:37,400 and that is Krampus. Now how much do you know about Krampus? I don't I don't know a lot 48 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:41,140 about Krampus. I don't even know where he's from. But what I what I will say is I'm really 49 00:04:41,140 --> 00:04:48,080 glad that you didn't do the Scandinavian holiday traditions because they also have a problematic 50 00:04:48,080 --> 00:04:54,720 member of Santa's little little team there. So I we're not going to talk about him. Sorry. 51 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:58,600 So last week's episode after the episode ended we talked about what we might do for this 52 00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:05,960 holiday episode and you brought up Swarthy Pete. Oh my god. So racist. So racist. It took 53 00:05:05,960 --> 00:05:10,440 everything in my being to not lie to you and say that we were covering something else and 54 00:05:10,440 --> 00:05:16,800 then just cover that instead. I mean I mean there's no way to joke about it. So I would 55 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:22,280 be I'd be out this episode. I'd just be like well huh wow that's crazy. That's crazy. There's 56 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:28,400 a blonde man with blackface. That's problematic. Yeah it's not ideal. It's really bad. But 57 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:33,880 no we're going to cover it. So bad. OK. Yeah I want I wanted to include other different 58 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:40,240 like because for most people they know Krampus as like his Santa's associate or whatever. 59 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:45,000 And there's a lot of other Santa associates out in the wild. But a lot of them like you 60 00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:48,120 said are kind of fucked up and weird. And also there's a lot to Krampus that I didn't 61 00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:51,600 know and a lot of history behind him that are. Yeah. It's really interesting. So I was 62 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:56,080 able to fill a whole episode about it. So we're going to do that. So excited. All right. 63 00:05:56,080 --> 00:06:00,720 So excited. Krampus has been lurking in the snow dusted alpine regions for centuries like 64 00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:06,280 pre-Christian pagan shit like back in the day there was no Christmas Christmas for Krampus 65 00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:11,140 to be associated with. He was more tied to things like the winter solstice rituals fertility 66 00:06:11,140 --> 00:06:16,400 gods and even the wild hunt. Basically people feared the dark the cold and the unknown. 67 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:21,080 So with something like the winter solstice where it can't get much colder or darker than 68 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:27,320 that makes sense that like a legend like Krampus would be born to embody those things because 69 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:34,720 my guy does he embody the hell out of them. First of all like dude is just an all around 70 00:06:34,720 --> 00:06:39,240 nightmare just an appearance alone. Never mind the other stuff that we're going to cover. 71 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:46,080 He's described as like he he's basically a part goat part demon part just absolute fucking 72 00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:52,400 menace. He's covered in oh good. He's covered in thick matted fur usually black or brown 73 00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:57,000 and has these massive curling goat horns sprouting from his head. His face is pretty gnarly. If 74 00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,800 you've ever seen it like an artist rendition you know what I'm talking about. He's got 75 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:06,160 sharp fangs a snout like nose and glowing eyes red or yellow depending on who's telling 76 00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:13,360 the story. And then there's his tongue. It's a it's long and snake like it's kind of like 77 00:07:13,360 --> 00:07:16,160 it's basically it's like a signature feature. I don't know if you've ever seen any artist 78 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:21,120 rendition. He always says that really long tongue. It's kind of like you know those party 79 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:24,760 favors that are just like rolled up pieces of paper with like a noise maker on the end 80 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:29,920 and you blow it and extends. It's like that. But the tongue of a demon if that makes sense. 81 00:07:29,920 --> 00:07:39,160 So it's like a it's like a non-Jewish version of Gene Simmons. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty much. 82 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:46,480 Mrs. Krampus is very happy. It took me. It's like everything about being to not make some 83 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:49,880 sort of connellingus joke or something. That's why I'm on the show. That's what I'm here 84 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:55,680 for. I bring the goods. I bring the goods. So the Krampus figure in one form or another 85 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:59,880 had been around for centuries and people know him today as being Santa's right hand man 86 00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:06,240 pretty much. But like but like I said Krampus predates Christmas and Santa by fucking a 87 00:08:06,240 --> 00:08:11,000 long time. I don't know the exact dates when he whatever. But like what happened to these 88 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:17,240 people that they were like you know what we need a goat monster that terrorizes children. 89 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:22,280 Well so yeah. So you're probably wondering how did he become Santa's like closest. Yes. 90 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:28,440 What the fuck is going on here. So when Christianity began to spread through Europe the church 91 00:08:28,440 --> 00:08:33,640 they never are. But they were they weren't too keen on pagan figures like Krampus. He 92 00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:38,720 was horned wild connected to fertility and the wilderness. And we just can't have that. 93 00:08:38,720 --> 00:08:41,560 That's like a walking PR nightmare for the Christian church. That's everything they're 94 00:08:41,560 --> 00:08:47,320 trying to avoid you believing in. But I'm not almost said to their credit. But instead 95 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:52,320 of just like stop stamping like Krampus out of never give credit to the church. Yes. It 96 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:55,920 was like fucking kicking about it there like the church has done so many times before they 97 00:08:55,920 --> 00:09:01,560 decided to co-opt him. Now that is much better. But I mean it's kind of cool they did keep 98 00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:04,760 that kind of stuff around. They might have learned something from the Romans where they're 99 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:10,120 like you can keep your fucking things but you force you know I mean. Yeah yeah yeah. 100 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:16,480 Wait till wait till I tell you about where Christmas ornaments come from. The 12th century 101 00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:20,880 Krampus was paired with jolly old Saint Nicholas creating essentially like a good cop bad cop 102 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:25,820 dynamic with the two. The church even added chains to Krampus's imagery symbolizing his 103 00:09:25,820 --> 00:09:32,080 submission to Christian authority. So oh that's that's good. Yes. If you're wondering why 104 00:09:32,080 --> 00:09:38,360 you think says nothing says Christianity like taking a demon and using it to your advantage. 105 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:43,000 Yeah. It's pretty much like don't like get rid of it. Don't kill it. Yeah. Make it work 106 00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:47,520 for you. It was pretty much like we know he's a demon but like look at those chains. He's 107 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:53,640 a yeah man. Pretty cool. Trying to be hip and cool to the youth today. You guys like 108 00:09:53,640 --> 00:10:04,320 demons. We got one. Oh no. But pretty much it went like Saint Nick became the kind and 109 00:10:04,320 --> 00:10:08,880 benevolent figure rewarding good children. Well Krampus handled all the dirty work that 110 00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:13,240 Santa was too much of a coward himself to do which was to punish the children who were 111 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:20,520 naughty and wicked. So that fucking fat pussy. Fuck you Santa. So what kind of punishments 112 00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:25,040 are we talking here. Well he has a variety of them in his toolkit and they range from 113 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:30,960 mildly concerning to just absolute overkill as far as being a bad child goes. Now the 114 00:10:30,960 --> 00:10:35,840 most common punishment a whipping with birch sticks. I'm sure you've all seen the image 115 00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:41,080 of your Krampus. We has that bundle of sticks. He uses that to fucking slap kids with it. 116 00:10:41,080 --> 00:10:48,400 Yeah. No he would do it just hard enough to like sting and leave welts. It was meant to 117 00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:53,160 be like a physical reminder to fucking shape up but or you're you're out of here kind of 118 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:59,680 thing. But if a kid's behavior was particularly bad Krampus fucking took it up but cranked 119 00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:04,000 that shit to eleven. He's been said to shove kids into a sack or basket and cart them off 120 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:08,440 to his lair in the mountains. And from there the stories get a little dark as to what he 121 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:14,240 does with said children. He might boil them alive drown them in an icy river or simply 122 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:19,040 eat them. Some legends even claim that he will just skip all those steps and drag your 123 00:11:19,040 --> 00:11:27,560 kid straight to hell. Oh OK. I mean it's brutal but god damn that's some effective messaging. 124 00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:36,040 I mean if you have a shitty kid. Yeah. The threat. He's going to drag you straight to 125 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:42,360 hell like all the other stuff. Just do it everybody a favor. Yeah. Now specific folklore 126 00:11:42,360 --> 00:11:46,280 tales from Krampus like they're few and far between or at least in my search for them 127 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:53,440 which was not very in depth. But there are some that and they vary from region to region 128 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:58,120 but they all share the same theme punish the wicked and reward the virtuous. And I have 129 00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:03,680 to say I feel like those are pretty strong adjectives to describe children. Right. Like 130 00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:09,460 wicked wicked and virtuous like whose fucking kids. Yeah. You know it's like your fault 131 00:12:09,460 --> 00:12:15,200 if your kids fucked up right. Like parents parents are just like no no. He was born wicked. 132 00:12:15,200 --> 00:12:20,000 No you made him wicked. But also I've never seen. I've never seen a kid act up and then 133 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:24,440 like that's a wicked child or a kid being well behaved like that's a very virtuous kid. 134 00:12:24,440 --> 00:12:29,120 Like I feel like those are very strong descriptive terms for how a kid should behave or shouldn't 135 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:37,240 behave. I guess that's a little that's a little much. Yeah. Well anyways in one story in one 136 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:42,560 story Krampus visits a small alpine village on Krampus Knox where he knocks on doors to 137 00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:46,700 demand the names of misbehaving children and the parents they were like oh yeah dude my 138 00:12:46,700 --> 00:12:51,460 kid fucking sucks and they would list off all the offenses their kids had done that 139 00:12:51,460 --> 00:12:55,920 year and then Krampus would haul off like the worst offenders and bring them back to 140 00:12:55,920 --> 00:13:00,220 his lair to do one of the eight things that we just said he might do to your fucking dime 141 00:13:00,220 --> 00:13:09,040 out there kids. Yeah. Well we'll circle back to that. Now another tale tells the story 142 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:13,560 of a defiant boy who tries to challenge Krampus and decides he's going to fight the beast 143 00:13:13,560 --> 00:13:17,800 with a stick. Krampus just laughs grabs the kid and hauls him off disappearing into the 144 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:23,560 forest. Now when I was looking into these stories they both looters they both were described 145 00:13:23,560 --> 00:13:28,080 as cautionary tales. The second one I get I like don't be a little hellion and you won't 146 00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:32,320 be human trafficked by a demon. Right. But the first one I think you caught on to it 147 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:37,200 is that these parents were so ready to get rid of those fucking kids. They were just 148 00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:42,320 like oh yeah dude this kid piece of shit. He'll be tell you everything he's done all year 149 00:13:42,320 --> 00:13:46,040 and then you know what if you want to take him that's up to you. Like wild right. Why 150 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:51,360 is it like half the stories from back then like half the fairy tales and just terrible 151 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:56,400 parents releasing their children into the wild or feeding them to Krampus. Yeah. Like 152 00:13:56,400 --> 00:14:01,160 they were like no Krampus look my kid is worse like way worse than the kid next door. Like 153 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:07,600 please take my shitty nine year old and just drag him straight down. I'm done with you 154 00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:16,800 Skyler. Fucking right. It's just wild to me that these parents were just on a dime ready 155 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:20,960 to fucking turn heel and just fuck these kids right up. You said you said Krampus was like 156 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:26,200 kind of German right. Yeah it's like that. Yeah. So it's you know it's it's like follows 157 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:31,120 along the same lines as like Hansel and Gretel like shitty parents that are just like well 158 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:34,520 we can't feed you anymore. We're just going to take you out to the woods and hope for 159 00:14:34,520 --> 00:14:41,680 the best. It's pretty. Yeah. Like and those were good kids. What's it also made me think 160 00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:48,400 is like did they tell these like that story to their kids like I was used to making behave. 161 00:14:48,400 --> 00:14:52,880 That makes sense to me. But like if they're like hey foods a little tight right now it's 162 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:59,440 the year 1400. So like either you act right or we're going to fucking send you off so 163 00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:03,400 that way we could have more to eat like we're fucking dying because of you. It had to be 164 00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:07,080 something like that right. Can you imagine the parents like sitting around the dinner 165 00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:12,160 table after the kids go to bed and they're like well the plague didn't take Hans. So 166 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:18,320 I guess we got to feed him to Krampus. Fucking at that point just eat your kid. Like yeah. 167 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:25,480 What the fuck. If you're looking to survive. God damn savages. Yeah. But anyways let's 168 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:28,720 let's let's go back to something I mentioned in that first story the one where the parents 169 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:32,920 fucked up. They die out their kids because they're terrible monsters. Yeah. And that 170 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:39,200 is I mentioned Krampus nacht which translate translated means in German Krampus night. 171 00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:44,960 So yeah I wanted to ask about this. Yeah. So what questions do you have. No no no you 172 00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:48,960 go. And then if I still have questions after because I feel like a lot of the times I ask 173 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:52,320 a question and then you're like yeah I was just going to talk about that. So I'm going 174 00:15:52,320 --> 00:15:56,520 to I'm going to wait and let you do your thing and then I'm going to come in if I got anything 175 00:15:56,520 --> 00:16:01,240 that wasn't cleared up. OK. So every year on December 5th the night before St. Nicholas 176 00:16:01,240 --> 00:16:05,920 Day Krampus emerges to roam the streets. It's like it's a wild night for some of those 177 00:16:05,920 --> 00:16:10,600 Alpine towns like people dress up in elaborate Krampus costumes complete with horns masks 178 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:15,640 and chains and parade through the streets and what's called a Krampus love or Krampus 179 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:21,840 run. These events are loud chaotic and often involve fire dances drinking and a whole bunch 180 00:16:21,840 --> 00:16:27,280 of just scaring the shit out of children. So it's so it's basically like it's like 181 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:32,040 the Boston the Santa. Yeah. New York and Boston. Yeah it's basically that but Krampus. Well 182 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:37,080 we have the underwear run to where everybody gets in their underwear and they put on Santa 183 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:43,960 hats and they run down Newbury Street. That's tracks. Yeah. Yeah. So this is basically that 184 00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:50,960 except that like instead of women named Becky throwing up eggnog out in front of out in 185 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:57,320 front of like you know high end shops it's women named Olga throwing up eggnog outside 186 00:16:57,320 --> 00:17:02,200 of high end shops. I don't know if there's high end shops but definitely the same. Yeah 187 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:09,680 the same vibes there. It's oh yeah that's true. Yeah. Yeah. Now the tradition of Krampus 188 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:14,420 knocked is it's part festival part performance art and it's been going strong for centuries. 189 00:17:14,420 --> 00:17:20,080 Now we're going to fast forward to the 19th century and Krampus starts to evolve. Enter 190 00:17:20,080 --> 00:17:26,280 the Krampus carton or Krampus cars. They were they're basically just holiday cards that 191 00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:34,120 either screamed Merry Christmas or run for your fucking life. And these cards are these 192 00:17:34,120 --> 00:17:38,960 cards rule. So yeah they're just based they're basically Christmas greeting cards like holiday 193 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:43,600 cards and they either show Krampus chasing kids stuffing them into sacks or whipping 194 00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:49,480 them with like Glee on his face. But they weren't all doom and gloom. Some were uncharacteristically 195 00:17:49,480 --> 00:17:55,400 light hearted which was like the Merry Christmas ones that yeah they would show Krampus just 196 00:17:55,400 --> 00:18:01,040 like pretty much living his best life drinking schnapps flirting and kissing on women like 197 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:06,360 it's just getting fucking shit wrecked. Yeah. Good for him. Krampus is kind of kind of a 198 00:18:06,360 --> 00:18:10,480 freak. It's nice. It's good to see him kind of letting loose after a long day of just 199 00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:18,520 dragging nine year old. Long day of stealing your children. No. So you didn't you didn't 200 00:18:18,520 --> 00:18:25,360 answer my question directly but since we've already moved past the timing of this. I 201 00:18:25,360 --> 00:18:29,960 just want to make sure I've got this clear. It's the is it like what the 23rd of December 202 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:37,160 is Krampus knocked. It's the fifth. With the fifth of December. Yeah. I've already missed 203 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:43,240 it. Yeah. Fuck. Sorry. This is like a thing that I want to do with my kids. I mean you 204 00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:48,880 could I mean you could have your own Krampus tradition. Doesn't have to. Yeah I'm gonna. 205 00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:52,920 You don't have to. I want to I really want to mess with I want to terrify the shit out 206 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:57,520 of my children. OK. There's a there's a Krampus guy in Philly. He does like he dresses up 207 00:18:57,520 --> 00:19:01,080 as Krampus and he does like all these different charity things. So like that he's actually 208 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:04,480 actually tonight at five o'clock he's going to be at this new bar that opened up that 209 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:09,900 serves bone marrow and you can know once you finish the bone marrow you can pay like twenty 210 00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:16,920 dollars and lose a shot down the bone marrow like. Oh amazing. Yeah. So we might hit that 211 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:20,560 up after this so I guess the photos of Krampus but yeah you can you can do you can hire a 212 00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:25,280 Krampus to come and terrorize children if you really want to. I'm totally doing that. 213 00:19:25,280 --> 00:19:28,920 There's got to be a Boston Krampus. I feel like there's a Krampus in every state that 214 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:34,520 like does things like. Oh yeah. Yeah. And honestly I feel like Krampus Krampus very 215 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:39,960 much has has like South Boston energy. Oh you are fucking dick this Christmas. Guess 216 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:42,680 what you're going to get. You're going to get you're going to get brought right down 217 00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:48,880 to hell you little shit. It's very very towny energy. Yeah. Yeah. Come on little come on 218 00:19:48,880 --> 00:19:56,960 little Billy O'Sullivan you're fucked. I feel like Krampus wouldn't be too kind to the Irish 219 00:19:56,960 --> 00:20:01,760 either. So I mean it kind of tracks as well. No no one has been kind to the Irish really. 220 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:18,000 Can you blame them. They haven't had a great they haven't had a great. 221 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:24,080 We just lost every listener in Boston. Great. I'm Irish. I can say that shit. I'm part Irish. 222 00:20:24,080 --> 00:20:30,560 I actually know where my family came from. So I'm Irish enough. I've never been there. 223 00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:36,600 So I don't call myself Irish but my family you know like everyone else in this goddamn 224 00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:41,920 cesspool. All right. They weren't suffering enough in England. They were like hey you 225 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:45,540 know I mean in the UK they were like hey you know what would be great if it was colder 226 00:20:45,540 --> 00:20:51,920 and more rocky somewhere. So I just go to Maine. I mean it's fucking 10 degrees right 227 00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:57,760 now in Boston. So that's fair. All right. We're moving on now. But again fuck the Irish. 228 00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:07,560 It's fine. Now fast forward again. And by the early 20th century Krampus wasn't exactly 229 00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:13,040 on everyone's in everyone's good graces. The rise of more wholesome Christmas imagery like 230 00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:19,360 the Coca Cola Santa aka capitalism and consumerism pushed Krampus back into the shadows where 231 00:21:19,360 --> 00:21:25,080 he kind of rightfully belongs. Yeah. Yeah. But also we can't forget you know everyone's 232 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:33,360 favorite type of people the fascists in the 1930s Austrian fascists actually banned Krampus 233 00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:40,180 calling him a dangerous symbol of paganism and immorality. Even the Nazis who later on 234 00:21:40,180 --> 00:21:44,880 tried to sanitize Christmas traditions they gave Krampus the cut which is weird to me 235 00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:50,920 because the Nazis they kind of loved all that weird occult pagan shit. You know what I mean. 236 00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:56,120 Yeah. I mean nothing really says Nazi like a guy who steals people's children. True. 237 00:21:56,120 --> 00:21:59,880 And I didn't include this in the script but there was I mean this didn't exist back in 238 00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:07,400 the pagan times but there are some Krampus depictions out there that may or may not be 239 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:15,120 kind of anti-Semitic in their portrayal of me not like the obviously they're they're 240 00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:19,640 making that shit up. It's not the you mean like but you would think I feel like Krampus 241 00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:25,120 really fit into what the Nazis would fucking be stoked on. Am I wrong? Right. Is that was 242 00:22:25,120 --> 00:22:29,240 it for me to say that? I'm not I'm not. Yeah. I'm not pushing in the very fact. I'm not 243 00:22:29,240 --> 00:22:38,520 pushing. The very fact that they pushed him away is probably you know what what lost them the war. 244 00:22:38,520 --> 00:22:43,080 Actually if you've ever read Man in the High Castle it's basically what would happen if 245 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:49,960 the Nazis had kept Krampus into. Oh okay. Yeah. Okay. But it was said that Krampus just 246 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:57,560 didn't quote unquote fit their vision. Whatever the fuck that means. That makes no sense. 247 00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:04,040 If anything fits their vision of severity and taking it up maybe too many notches. Yeah. 248 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:09,520 It's fucking Krampus. To go from light lashing with a stick to dragging straight to hell. 249 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:18,560 Yeah. Yeah. When you think of like Weimar Germany and then Nazi Germany like Krampus 250 00:23:18,560 --> 00:23:23,560 should have been flourishing in Nazi Germany. That's what I'm saying. I feel like we're 251 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:31,120 doing like PR right now for Nazis. Krampus and Nazis. Yeah. Well I mean they did take 252 00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:45,440 over America. So it's like if Man in the High Castle were written by Mike Judge. That's 253 00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:55,440 actually pretty good. But where's the thing. So even though the Nazis and the whatever 254 00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:59,440 the Austrian government like they banned it but in rural alpine villages like Krampus 255 00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:03,160 never really left locals. You're never going to take it away. Yeah. The locals are always 256 00:24:03,160 --> 00:24:06,400 going to keep it. Yeah. They kept that tradition alive passing down through generations and 257 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:12,440 by the mid 20th century Krampus came roaring back like Krampus knocked and the Krampus 258 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:18,480 left that the chaotic Krampus parade where costumes people ran through the streets and 259 00:24:18,480 --> 00:24:23,560 terrified the children. Those became a staple in Austria and Germany which Krampus was both 260 00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:26,680 banned. So it makes sense that when they were finally able to celebrate it again it came 261 00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:33,080 back in full fucking force. This time it had even more theatrics than before. More fire 262 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:36,880 better costumes but it was still mixed with like the centuries old traditions and like 263 00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:42,920 just enough chaos to keep it fun. You know what I mean. Yeah. Yeah. So by now Krampus 264 00:24:42,920 --> 00:24:47,720 was no longer just like a scary myth. He was like being celebrated in a way that he wasn't 265 00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:52,840 celebrated before which is fucking awesome. I love it. I love it. You love it so much. 266 00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:56,680 But the Krampus revival like didn't stop there by the late 20th century he started creeping 267 00:24:56,680 --> 00:25:00,920 into like global pop culture. Like we didn't really hear about Krampus in the States for 268 00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:05,600 a long. I mean we kind of had a vague idea of what it was but like it really started 269 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:12,480 like the late 20th century. So like there's a 2015 trash fucking horror movie called Krampus 270 00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:18,080 that turned him into like a full blown Christmas villain. He's shown up in TV shows like Supernatural, 271 00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:24,320 American Dad and of course you can't forget the merch. No the office. He was in the office 272 00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:29,440 too Dwight Schrute. So that wasn't Krampus. That was. Oh it wasn't. Belschnickle which 273 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:33,720 is kind of like Krampus. It's the same thing but he was a person not a demon I think. That's 274 00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:39,400 like that's like Pennsylvania Dutch. Well that sucks. I was really I well now I'm now 275 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:54,600 I'm mad. I don't know why I thought that was Krampus. I'm so annoyed with that. Well no 276 00:25:54,600 --> 00:26:00,200 it's because it's basically the same thing. Like it's a dude. Germany just has too many 277 00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:03,840 things that hate you at Christmas time. I think it's one of those things where like 278 00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:06,960 the Pennsylvania Dutch came over and then they just kind of made their own version of 279 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:11,840 it if that makes sense. Okay. Okay. He has all the same vibes. He has the sticks that 280 00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:17,320 he whipped people with. Yeah. That whole thing but I think Belschnickle was a person. It 281 00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:21,640 wasn't a demon. Okay. Okay. Although I guess a demon can pretend to be a person. I don't 282 00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:25,160 I don't fully know. I didn't look I didn't research Belschnickle. I researched Krampus. 283 00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:30,760 I have no fucking idea. This is a Baba Yaga situation. It's getting away from us. Yeah. 284 00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:36,640 But like I said Krampus nowadays is on everything. You got ugly Christmas sweaters, beer cans, 285 00:26:36,640 --> 00:26:45,120 you got the sick fucking t-shirt. Krampus not. Such a good metal album. Yeah. Like you 286 00:26:45,120 --> 00:26:51,960 name he's on everything. So Krampus now at least here he's officially become more like 287 00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:57,200 the modern holiday lineup. You know what I mean? Yeah. That makes sense. Yeah. But here's 288 00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:02,000 the thing Krampus isn't just about scaring kids or selling merch. He's a he's a symbol 289 00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:07,800 of balance. Winter is dark and cold. Like life isn't all candy canes and carols. And 290 00:27:07,800 --> 00:27:13,720 Krampus reminds us that with joy comes consequences with light comes shadow. He's the yin to Santa's 291 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:27,120 yang. But whether you see him as Santa's jolly, chubby yang, but he's a thick boy. But whether 292 00:27:27,120 --> 00:27:32,560 you see him as you know, a scary Christmas cryptid or what have you a misunderstood anti 293 00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:39,600 hero or just a goat demon doing his job. Krampus is here to stay. You know, he survives centuries, 294 00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:45,080 fascists, bad movies, you know, and he's, he's still around and making sure that we 295 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:49,720 don't forget, you know, like the darker side of the holiday. So there you go. That is the 296 00:27:49,720 --> 00:27:56,520 story of Krampus. It's I love him. Yeah, it's not a lot. I learned a lot more than I thought. 297 00:27:56,520 --> 00:28:02,040 I was, I, I thought I knew pretty much whatever there was. He's a guy or demon that just beats 298 00:28:02,040 --> 00:28:08,140 kids until they're good again. Turns out he's kind of a nightmare and will murder your children 299 00:28:08,140 --> 00:28:13,160 and obviously the parents are cool with it because they're willingly giving them up to 300 00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:18,760 him, which is wild. So Sarge, how are we feeling about Krampus? What have we learned? What 301 00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:21,480 does it take away? You have any questions, concerns? I might be able to answer some of 302 00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:25,680 them. I have no idea. I mean, as somebody who appreciates a good Baphomet, I love that 303 00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:32,200 there's a Christmas version. It kind of is. Yeah. Yeah. I have, I actually, this is, this 304 00:28:32,200 --> 00:28:43,880 is one. Just be like the actual Christmas version. Shh. Don't, don't do that. It's like, 305 00:28:43,880 --> 00:28:47,520 I have a Baphomet that hangs on my Christmas tree and then I have the one that hangs behind 306 00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:55,000 me. Um, but also having, having like, yeah, especially you all related Baphomet would 307 00:28:55,000 --> 00:29:02,120 be. Yeah. I love it. I think it's great. It's kind of the vibe that he has. I want 308 00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:07,680 my kids to embrace it. I want my children to be terrified. Well, now that you know when 309 00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:13,280 it is when Krampus Noct is, and you know all this stuff, you can easily just start doing 310 00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:18,260 that. Just ruin your kids lives. Make them, well, no, I mean, they're old enough now where 311 00:29:18,260 --> 00:29:22,560 they know like, Oh, dad just got a good idea in his head and we're all going to have to 312 00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:28,120 suffer it for a year. Yeah. You know, they, they won't be scared. They'd just be like, 313 00:29:28,120 --> 00:29:34,840 Oh Christ. Yeah, dad. No, I did. He's real scary. Krampus is terrifying. Krampus could 314 00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:39,160 be terrifying if you hired an actual Krampus to come and hit your kids with a stick. No, 315 00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:44,800 I'm thinking I'll just get some stilts that look like goat legs and a long cloak and some 316 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:50,400 birch sticks and just, uh, you know, annoy the shit out of my kids for a night. Doesn't 317 00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:55,960 sound terrible. I feel like it would be a fun tradition. Yeah. And then if that doesn't 318 00:29:55,960 --> 00:30:01,760 work, you can just drag them straight to hell. Straight to hell. Going right down there. 319 00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:07,680 Oh shit. They're not bad because I was a bad parent. Satan. They're bad because they're 320 00:30:07,680 --> 00:30:15,040 just bad kids. Yeah. They're bad because society. Yeah. It's, it's the, it's the, it thanks 321 00:30:15,040 --> 00:30:23,800 Joe Biden. Violent video games, you know, all this sugary soda, yellow dye number five. 322 00:30:23,800 --> 00:30:27,040 These kids are out of control. We got to do something about it. It's too much. It's a 323 00:30:27,040 --> 00:30:34,040 lot with that, with their Tik Toks and whatnot. Thank God that's going away soon. Oh shit. 324 00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:38,360 All right, sorry. Well, that is our Christmas special. Thank you so much everyone for listening. 325 00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:42,120 I hope you guys have a happy holiday, whatever you celebrate or if you don't celebrate at 326 00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:46,680 all, I hope you just have a good December 25th, whatever you decide to do that day. 327 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:50,800 Have a good guaranteed day off for almost everyone. Exactly. For those of you that have 328 00:30:50,800 --> 00:30:56,060 to work, make sure you take fucking overtime. Yeah. So that you can make even more money 329 00:30:56,060 --> 00:31:01,520 or at least shit as much as possible and get paid for it. Yeah. Yeah. Nothing. Nothing 330 00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:05,540 wrong with watching some YouTube videos while you're trying to squeeze one out. Yeah. Nothing's 331 00:31:05,540 --> 00:31:11,000 better than pooping and getting paid to poop. That's all I gotta say. That's the best way 332 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:16,520 to do it. Honestly. All right. So do you got anything you want to plug before we sign off? 333 00:31:16,520 --> 00:31:23,040 You know me, I got all kinds of shit. Just find out our link. Follow that link by my 334 00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:28,200 coloring book at Sajasupernormal.com. That's that's still going to be a thing for at least 335 00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:37,800 the next four years. And listen to this podcast. Listen to more episodes of this podcast. We 336 00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:42,200 do a lot of fun stuff and we're going to do even more fun stuff. Telling people that are 337 00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:46,720 already listening to the podcast to listen to the podcast. Listen, listen, if you watch 338 00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:50,520 any streaming service, they have advertisements for their streaming service on the streaming 339 00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:57,280 service. So I'm just, you know, you're here, but you should be here more. That I can get 340 00:31:57,280 --> 00:31:59,900 behind it. If you like what you're hearing, just leave us a rating review. It'd be kind 341 00:31:59,900 --> 00:32:05,000 of fucking cool. I think, you know, you do it on Spotify and Apple. Yeah. Spotify, Apple. 342 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:12,760 If you're brand new, it is required that you follow us on Instagram and your dog's going 343 00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:19,040 ape shit on that toy. Fucking she's determined. She does not like the Krampus episode. I guess 344 00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:28,280 I was shutting up so you could keep talking. Follow us on Instagram. You savages. Yeah. 345 00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:31,500 Also on Instagram, it's at Crypto Cocktail. Follow us on TikTok. Crypto Cocktail party 346 00:32:31,500 --> 00:32:36,360 for how long that's going to fucking be around. But also I'm wearing this fucking sick ass 347 00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:43,120 Krampus knock shirt. It was done by my buddy Josh Belanger, who runs the Hellmouth paranormal 348 00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:48,720 is part of his Krampus knocked box that he did. Actually hold on. It looks like this. 349 00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:54,800 It comes with a T-shirt. Awesome. Comes with a Krampus mini enamel pin. It's also got this 350 00:32:54,800 --> 00:33:00,240 fucking sick ass kiss sticker, which was funny. Cause I mentioned that before. This little 351 00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:06,560 card thing, it's got a nice Krampus pinup girl art print in it. And it's also got a 352 00:33:06,560 --> 00:33:12,080 comic book that he wrote and did all the art for and stuff like that. Oh, so cool. Yeah. 353 00:33:12,080 --> 00:33:16,720 So if you want one of your own, he still has a few left. He's got like five sizes, five 354 00:33:16,720 --> 00:33:21,520 of all the normal sizes, small, medium through large. I guess he's also got a couple two 355 00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:28,200 XL and one three XL left. So head to the hellmouth paranormal.com. You can get your own Krampus 356 00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:32,640 knocked box. It's pretty sick. He's a good friend of mine, so definitely go support him 357 00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:37,440 at the hellmouth paranormal. Also, he's a tattoo artist at Grim North tattoo in Portsmouth, 358 00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:41,960 New Hampshire. So definitely go check that out. Follow him, Josh Belanger, all that stuff. 359 00:33:41,960 --> 00:33:48,320 So yeah, with that out of the way, happy holidays and Narragansett. Yeah. Drinking Narragansett. 360 00:33:48,320 --> 00:33:53,100 They got a cool Christmas can now. This holiday is going to be goddamn miserable for everyone. 361 00:33:53,100 --> 00:33:56,600 You need to deal with your racist uncle at dinner. So it would be a lot easier if you 362 00:33:56,600 --> 00:34:00,560 had an arrogance at logger in your mouth. Yeah. Or if you're the racist uncle, maybe 363 00:34:00,560 --> 00:34:05,080 drinking Narragansett while contemplating outside of an open window, you know, really 364 00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:10,160 deeply thinking about your life choices and maybe consider changing your ways. Maybe Narragansett 365 00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:15,160 can help you with that. Yeah. Figure out why everybody hates you and stop doing it. 366 00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:22,280 All right. So again, thank you guys so much for listening. We really appreciate it. Have 367 00:34:22,280 --> 00:34:28,040 a happy holiday, whatever, you know, or whatever. Who fucking cares? Sarge, do you want to say 368 00:34:28,040 --> 00:34:56,040 goodbye and I love you? Goodbye and I love you.