Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of Cryptic Cocktail Party Show where we have
a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown.
I'm your host Dave, joined as always by my wonderful co-host Sarge.
How's it going Sarge?
Woo!
What's up?
Don't want anybody to panic.
I know I talked about going to church last Sunday.
I didn't do that today.
I'm not a church guy.
I just went because my dad was doing a thing and he loves church.
So well, thank God.
Yeah.
And the other voice you are hearing is our esteemed guest for this episode.
Long time listener, first time guest.
Our boy Bulk Detner aka Matthew.
What's going on man?
Oh, not much.
Living life.
Living life?
Looking good, glorious.
Glorious.
For sure.
I put on a new set of nails just for Sarge.
Nails on point, braided beard, just exceptional.
Oh, like a gender fluid Viking and I love it.
Yeah.
God damn.
I've been called the bye king before and I really like that title.
That's perfect.
That's like if that's like if Lord of the Rings was written in 2024.
Like fabulous nails, but can can inflict a blood eagle if needed.
Blood eagle.
Jesus Christ.
I found out that that might not even actually have happened like in the medieval times.
Did I learn that from you?
You probably didn't learn it from me, but I had also heard that in I don't care.
I wonder if it was one of those things that like never actually happened, but they're
just like, oh yeah, no, we totally do that.
So don't fuck up.
Yeah, kind of like the brazen bowl where it was like something they talked they talked
about as like if you do this or Iron Maiden, the Iron Maiden is another one that turned
out to not be real.
I thought that's where I might have heard that from was when you on your other show
did the sorry for burping right into the microphone.
That's all right.
That's an award winning burp right there.
As we've said before, nothing burps like Narragansett.
Yeah, I thought I learned that when you did the the torture things on your other show.
I don't think so.
But I wouldn't be surprised if if it wasn't real.
Like so many medieval things are just bullshit.
Yeah, I feel like also, you know how hard it would be to splay someone over from the
back and then pull their lungs out?
I mean, if anyone's going to do it, it's going to be the Vikings.
Like they just they're a very creative punch.
Yeah, and that's just like a friendly handshake for them.
You know what I mean?
The Vikings known for their creativity and brutality.
This is our flag.
Oh, what is it?
Oh, that's Dave.
Yeah.
And my favorite part about them is that for the most part, they just hung out and they
just like lived and they were like, hey, we're getting low on riches.
Yeah, those spots have a lot of riches.
Let's go have them.
Yeah.
Yes.
You know, you know, you're running low on riches.
Yeah.
All right.
Let's go.
Let's go kick down the door of that place with the lowercase t.
They seem like they got a lot of shit.
All right, guys.
So I got an episode for you guys.
Are you are you ready to dive into this?
I think it's a good one.
Oh, yeah.
It's kind of I'm excited.
Yeah, it's kind of it's it's not something new that we've done, but it's a little different
than what we normally do as far as the show goes.
So oh, my fire alarm is going off and I
guess, oh, I guess so.
Long time listening to the show know that there's one cryptid that I vowed never to
cover on this show, and that is Bigfoot.
And I got my reasons, mostly because I don't believe in Bigfoot and I think Sasquatch is
boring as hell.
Plus, there are like a million other podcasts that cover Bigfoot exclusively, and they do
a much better job covering him than I ever would because they actually care about.
Yeah.
And so you're probably asking yourself, Dave, why are we just talking about how you'll never
cover Bigfoot?
Well, just because I think Bigfoot is lame doesn't mean that I don't think the subspecies
in different variations of Sasquatch are.
And we've actually covered a few of them like we did the mill race monster.
We did the Murphys burrow mud monster.
And we did, to be fair, we did cover the Bigfoot war of like, what was it, 1855 or some shit
like that.
Yeah.
Yep.
Oh, that one was good.
And this week, I figured we would continue the trend of actively avoiding talking about
Bigfoot proper and cover not one, but two Sasquatch variations from opposite sides of
the country.
You guys ready to dive in?
Yes.
Yeah.
I didn't even know there were subspecies.
I just think it was Sasquatch and Yeti.
No, no, no, no.
So.
No, there's so many squatches.
Yeah.
So for our first one, we're going to head to the great state of West Virginia.
We're going to West Virginia.
Does somebody need meth?
No, it's even better.
So West Virginia is home to some of the greats as far as like, like encrypted history.
You got Mothman, Flatwoods monster, grafted monster and one of today's subjects, Sheep
Squatch.
Sheep Squatch.
Are you guys familiar with the Sheep Squatch?
Yeah, I am not.
I am also not, but I'm mildly concerned.
The origin of Sheep Squatch, just given, you know, the world.
Yeah, I'm not liking where this is going.
This could have been this could have just been an unholy creation due to some, you know,
a lot of meth and the lack of women in abundance of sheep.
Gotcha.
And there's not a lot of cliffs for them to push them up to.
Excellent callback.
So so the Sheep Squatch, this thing rules like the name.
Well, it is on the second.
It's on the nose as far as like any name could be.
It doesn't really do it justice.
So this thing is fucking gnarly.
It's about the size of a bear ranging from seven to nine feet tall when standing.
The Sheep Squatch is covered in thick, woolly fur.
Its head is shaped kind of like a goat's head with massive sharp horns that curl around
its head.
Its eyes are often described as glowing red or orange, along with sharp predator like
teeth, often bared in an angered and snarling expression.
So it's basically Baphomet.
Yeah, but like white fluffy and ten feet tall.
It has massive tracks.
Yeah, it has massive and powerful human like arms ending in long clawed hands.
As for its feet, I can neither confirm them as being big, but some accounts describe them
as goat like with hooves, while other described them more ape like.
But to be fair, if I saw this motherfucker coming at me from the pucker brush, I'm not
looking at its feet.
So the fact that it's up in the air, whether or not he's has human feet or not, like I'm
OK with not knowing.
I get it.
Like this is not.
Wait, did you just say pucker brush?
Yeah, the fuck a pucker brush, Brad.
No, not pucker.
Puck.
Pucker brush.
I thought you were saying pucker brush.
No, like like like like.
Shout out.
Technically, it is pucker, but it's what?
What?
Where did you?
What is that?
Do you not know what pucker brush is?
No.
Why don't we just have you're not from New England, bro?
No, I'm 100 percent from here.
That's why I've never heard that, because it sounds like some main shit.
Google it.
Yeah.
You never you never ended up falling into the pocket brush.
Get all get all thorned up.
They get all banged up from the pucker brush, bud.
No, no, we just have.
It's basically the same thing.
It's just thorns.
Yeah, it's just like scrub brush that's on the side of the road.
I love that.
Did we just?
I don't know.
I'm a fucking pucker brush kid.
How do you not heard of that?
I don't know how you like Daba.
It's like, well, I grew up in a city.
I mean, the most contact I had with brush was like walking through an alley in Quincy Center
to get away from the police.
Oh, you're walking away from the police.
Sure.
We're moving on from Pucker Brush.
We're going to keep this going to get this ball rolling.
Oh, and I almost forgot this thing is also it's really smelly.
Like witnesses say that the sheep squash emits a strong musky stench, most often described
as sulfuric or like the smell of decaying meat.
So all around 10 out of 10 great creature.
You're not doing much to deter me from believing this is just Baphomet.
Yeah, it's kind of anyway.
So the the sheep squash is mostly confined, like I said, to the state of West Virginia,
because of course it is.
It's just a nightmare state all around with the majority sightings taking place in Boone
County and the Coal River Valley.
And just like with any squash, there's a bunch of sightings.
But for the sake of time and not wanting to skimp on any details, I found two of my favorite
sightings and now I will share them with you.
So the first one I got for you happened in 1994 when a group of friends decided to go
on a little camping trip in a remote area of Boone County.
It was late at night and the group was gathered around the fire when they heard a strange
sound coming from the dense woods that surrounded them.
They said it sounded like a mix of heavy breathing and low growling, much like Philip Seymour
Hoffman in the movie Happiness.
I don't know if you've ever seen that movie, but if you get the reference, you'll understand.
Well, you also just described my sex noises.
Which also describes Philip Seymour Hoffman in the movie Happiness.
At first they assumed it was probably just a bear or something and they just went about
their night, slugging back keystone lights while Wild Night by John Kruger Mellencamp
played on a boombox nearby.
Allegedly, I don't know if those are the actual details.
No, it tracks.
Yeah, it's 1994.
What else would they be doing?
But the noises grew closer and they started to get the feeling they were being watched.
One of the campers shine their flashlight into the woods and there it was.
Sheep squad.
Now she's squad.
She's squad.
I can't not say it like that.
Now standing at the edge of the tree, they saw this massive eight foot tall horned monster,
its eyes glowing red from the shine of the light, snarling at the campers, revealing
its rows of sharp animalistic teeth.
Now the creature then started moving towards the camp, emitting a guttural growl that sent
the campers into just absolute panic.
Roar.
They were like, let's get that.
They collectively decided, well, I think it's time to be heading out and abandoned the camp
as fast as they fucking could.
Luckily, they were able to get to their cars and skedaddle right on out of there.
But when they returned the next day to allegedly retrieve their boombox and camping gear, they
found that their tents were shredded.
Their food supplies were scattered around the camp with giant visible claw marks on
the cooler lids and large hoof like prints surrounding the area.
And the meth still was completely gone.
Oh, the meth's always gone.
It's always gone.
You can never have enough meth.
So now the next sheep squash story I have for you isn't like the best story, but I like
it for reasons I can't really put into words why.
I think it's the tension that happens within the story, but we can figure it out after.
So this one is more recent.
It took place in 2015.
Four hunters were camping in an isolation check.
Four campers were camping in an isolated section of forest, also in Boone County.
Around midnight, they hear some rustling in the underbrush or the pucker brush.
And just like in the other story, they chalked it up to just being a raccoon or a deer, two
wildly different animals.
But the noises grew louder and they were soon accompanied by a bizarre high pitched bleeding
that none of them could identify.
There we go.
Remember the curious bunch?
They shown a spotlight into the woods and there it was.
Sheep Squatch.
A hulking goat headed monster with thick white fur and massive clawed hands advancing towards
the campsite with surprising speed.
Just fucking gunning for them.
So this thing's hauling ass.
The hunters only have like maybe a minute to react.
So they're scrambling for their rifles and this thing is just closing in on them.
The Sheep Squatch lets out an ear piercing scream and gets within 20 feet of them when
one of the men was able to get a shot off into the air.
But the creature didn't flinch.
Instead, it just kind of like stopped abruptly, sniffed the air, let out a deep growl and
then just fucked off back into the darkness.
So yeah, the hunters checked the area the next morning and found claw marks on nearby
trees as well as strange tracks resembling a mix of hoof prints and clawed feet.
They also reported the sightings to local cryptid investigators.
And it turns out like this is one of the only like only a few instances where the creature
was said to charge directly at humans.
So that's like reassuring, I guess.
Like I still don't want this thing coming at me.
Just like the fucking the amount of sheer panic that these dudes must have been feeling.
I lost my shit, nine foot tall fucking goat monsters screaming down through the woods
at you like, fuck.
God.
But anyways, there you have it.
Sheep Squatch.
How are we feeling about Sheep Squatch?
I love it.
It's terrifying.
It's not ideal.
I want one though.
I want one here.
I was.
What gets me though is the noises it makes seem like very sheep like.
They're like, oh, cute.
And then when you see it, it's like, oh, to be fair.
The noises we heard were from Sarge.
The noises that were described in the story are a little more terrifying than.
I assumed it was a pretty accurate recreation.
Yeah, it's something like that.
But I told my wife about the two that we were covering today.
She said, which one I think is the best one.
I said, well, if you're going to make a plushie out of either of these, I think Sheep Squatch
would make the best plushie.
Yeah, I want a Sheep Squatch.
Yeah.
But all right.
So now we're going to go ahead and we're going to shift gears moving on.
Now we're going to be headed to the Pacific Northwest, home of the OG Squatch.
Now if you thought the Sheep Squatch was an abomination of God, this next one is way worse.
Oh my God.
They make a Sheep Squash plushie.
Sheep Squatch plushie.
All right.
I'm assuming they do, but we're moving on.
Sorry.
Sheep Squatch is done.
Pay attention.
Look at me.
I need it.
But I need it.
Eyes.
Eyes here.
Sorry, guys.
So now we're going to be talking about Bat Squatch.
You guys familiar with Bat Squatch?
Oh my God.
It fucking flies.
This sounds amazing.
Now, again, the name doesn't do it justice.
Like the Bat Squatch sounds like if Sasquatch watched his parents get done, like gunned
down outside of a theater as a kid.
And now he's like excited to be.
But I assure you, it is not that.
And I fucking hate this thing.
So standing between seven and nine feet tall, this thing is built like a brick shithouse.
It is jacked as fuck.
Just like an absolute unit, dude.
Its head and face resembled that of a bat with a flattened snout, sharp teeth and glowing
eyes that are said to pierce through the darkness.
Its coarse and matted fur is described as being bluish, purple, almost black in color.
Its hands are massive with sharp claws and its feet are talon like, which he uses to
grip its prey when he's flying around on his massive leathery bat wings that have a wingspan
of up to 50 feet.
So yeah, this thing is a fucking nightmare.
Come on.
I hate it, but I also love it so much.
It sounds perfect for like a heavy metal album.
Yeah, right.
So just like with Sheep Squash, I've had a bunch of stories, but I found the best two
that I liked.
But before we begin, I think it's important to note that almost all the bat squatch sightings
that have come out, they all take place near Mount St. Helens, specifically after its eruption
in May of 1980.
People started reporting sightings of the beast not too long after that happened.
Now the eruption of Mount St. Helens drastically altered the landscape in the area.
When this thing popped off, the entire north face of the mountain slid away, causing the
largest landslide ever recorded.
And not in human history, but in the history of the fucking earth.
The landslide traveled at speeds of up to 150 miles an hour, covering 24 square miles
in debris, with some parts of it being close to 600 feet deep when it was all settled.
Fuck.
So I'm not only telling you this because some cryptid enthusiasts believe that the reason
bat squatch was seen so frequently in the area after the eruption was because this may
have opened up a cavern or some sort of lair where the bat squatch lived, forcing it to
come out into the open.
Or on the other hand, his home was destroyed due to the event and he's now displaced.
Either or, they both sound like reasonable explanations to me.
So yeah, totally reasonable.
Either way, bat squatch is pissed.
It was a portal.
He's not stoked.
So, all right, so that out of the way, let's dive into some stories, shall we?
All right, so this sighting occurred in April of 1994.
A pilot whose name I do not know was flying a small private aircraft around Mount St.
Helens.
It was a relatively clear day, nice day, dude just taking in the views when he notices something
outside his plane flying at a high altitude.
He described what he saw as a massive creature that was dark in color and having an estimated
wingspan of between 30 and 50 feet.
It had a bat-like head with pointed ears and sharp features and his body was more primate
than bird.
The pilot noted that the creature appeared to be gliding effortlessly through the sky,
maintaining a steady pace.
Every once in a while, it would flap its wings and it would propel it forward in a way that
seemed deliberate and controlled.
At one point during the sighting, the bat-squatch allegedly flew close enough to the plane that
the pilot could observe its details more clearly and then the creature banked sharply and disappeared
in some clouds heading towards the slopes of the volcano.
The pilot was obviously shocked and like unsure, like what did I just see?
He eventually, or they eventually told their story to a few colleagues, encrypted researchers
describing it as unlike anything they had encountered in their flying career.
The sighting was never officially reported to any aviation authorities, probably out
of fear of ridicule or professionalism.
Kind of a hard story to tell people.
Yeah, I mean, the FAA will probably be like, all right, bud, so let's-
All right, we're drug testing everybody.
Can you describe this for me again?
Yes, have you seen the Wizard of Oz?
Yeah, it's like if the flying monkeys are on steroids, it's not ideal.
This license would have been taken away almost immediately.
Immediately.
Oh, definitely.
Without question.
Especially in 1994, they're like, all right, bud, that's-
All right, settle down.
Settle down.
Now, for our next sighting, this one is a bit unusual because it takes place 430 miles
away from the bat-squatch's normal haunting grounds of Mount St. Helens.
This sighting took place near Mount Shasta in California.
The story goes that in 2011, a group of hikers were exploring the lower elevations of the
mountains.
Oh, and apparently these guys were super experienced outdoors people, so this story kind of has
some credibility to it.
They were familiar with the local wildlife, the terrain.
Anyway, the group was near a wooded trail when they noticed that the surrounding forest
got suddenly and unusually quiet as if a predator was lurking nearby.
The hikers then described seeing a massive winged humanoid emerge from out of the tree
line.
The creature was said to be over seven feet tall with a muscular build similar to an ape
or a large primate.
It had leathery bat-like wings that stretched to an estimated 15 to 20 feet.
So it's like a little smaller of a bat-squatch than the other one.
The other one was like nine feet tall, maybe it was like a juvenile, teen.
Yeah, teenage.
Yeah, a baby, a baby-squatch.
Its body was covered in-
Hours of teenage.
I couldn't help it.
It came to my head right away.
I'm just a teenage cryptid baby.
Its body was covered in dark bluish fur and its face was described as a mix of bat and
wolf-like features, which is actually pretty common for the bat-squatch sightings.
I didn't mention that, but I mean, either way, it's a nightmare.
There's a lot going on.
I understand.
Yeah.
It also had yellow glowing eyes.
The bat-squatch reportedly perched briefly on a large rock, folding its wings as it just
stared at the hikers.
After what could only be described as a tense standoff, the creature let out a deep guttural
growl that echoed through the forest and then spread its wings and launched itself into
the air with a powerful leap disappearing over the trees.
Now the hikers, full of shock and fear and void of anything left in their bladder and
bowels got the hell out of there and back to their campsite to process what they had
just seen.
Some of them later shared their experiences online, sparking discussion and discourse
between a bunch of nerds.
They were definitely certain it wasn't a bird or known animal.
They admitted to feeling uneasy about the encounter describing the creature as something
quote, not of this world.
So this sighting got a bunch of people wondering why the bat-squatch would be this far south.
Again, normally it's up by Mount St. Helens.
It's possible that the bat-squatch territory extends beyond the Pacific Northwest, perhaps
covering the entire Cascade Range, which includes both Mount St. Helens and Mount Shasta.
Or perhaps it's migrating or searching for resources to survive, who knows?
Maybe it gets cold in Oregon or wherever, fuck so, Washington.
So yeah, could be just trying to get a little warm.
When you're nine feet tall, maybe you just need better access to street tacos.
But there you have it guys.
Yeah, that follows.
Yeah, a little two for one special for you guys.
So that's the end of the stories.
We've got a little bit more we can do after this, but I just want to know, I want to get
your thoughts.
Matt, let's start with you.
How you feeling about sheep-squatch, bat-squatch, questions, concerns, comments?
I mean, sheep-squatch, all right.
Bat-squatch, badass.
That just seems like it should be like a cheesy tattoo on your back, just like spread wings.
They're like the best 90s metal.
I saw a bat-squatch bat 94 up to St. Helens.
I mean, they opened for Slayer.
I feel like now that has to be a merch where it's like a bat-squatch band t-shirt.
It's like on the back.
It's like the tour dates and it's all just Mount St. Helens every day.
And then the last date is just Mount Shasta.
Yeah, I fuck with that.
Sarge, how you feeling?
What are you thinking?
I feel like sheep-squatch is like if like your high school mascot was a ram and like
one of the kids just wanted to make it look cool.
So we drew sheep-squatch.
You know what I mean?
Like the back of a math book.
Yeah, exactly.
Like that thank you for voting sticker that the kid in like Wisconsin made or whatever
was just a jacked werewolf ripping its shirt off.
Exactly.
Yeah.
You didn't see that?
It was like Wisconsin or Michigan or something like that.
They had like a contest and like middle schoolers or whatever got to draw the I voted stickers
for the state.
And the one that won was just this jacked werewolf ripping his shirt off that says I
voted.
Amazing.
I think that's highly appropriate.
That's celebrating, you know, this freedom.
Nothing says freedom like a jacked werewolf.
Geez, I just got like a nice little moose one.
All right.
I'm getting robbed.
We don't have anything cool like that.
Yeah, I didn't get anything cool like that either.
Mine just mine just said I voted but in Spanish.
So I did a little something fun for the end of this episode.
So I took the weights, the characteristics, everything I could find out about bat squash
and sheep squash.
And I fed it into an AI algorithm.
Oh, yeah.
To find out who would win in a fight between sheep squash and bat squash.
And I had to do I had to break it down scene by scene.
So are you ready?
Can we can we place bets?
Can we call who's going to win?
I would say my money's on bat squash, dude.
Yeah.
All right.
The wings alone.
I mean, 50 feet, just one boom.
There goes sheep squash off the cliff.
That and also bat squash can fly.
So it would easily be able to like get up and fly away.
So sheep squash is really at a disadvantage here.
That's true.
But also, I mean, if you think back to like a celebrity death match, whenever they do the
matchups, you're like, oh, that person is definitely going to win.
There's usually a huge upset.
You know what I mean?
Like, so you never know.
I mean, I know who wins, but it's whatever.
All right.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm going to bet my money on.
I can't.
Yeah.
Right.
Well, he knows who wins.
So all right.
So round one, the encounter, this the setting, a remote forest clearing near the Appalachian
Mountains at dusk.
The sheep squash emerges from the shadows.
It's thick, matted first streaked with mud, wreaking of decay from above.
A guttural screech signals the arrival of bat squash wings beating heavily as it descends
to the forest floor.
The two creatures, the two creatures circle one another.
Bat Squatch hissing and flaring its wings while she squatch bellows a deafening roar.
With its aerial capabilities, Bat Squatch launches the first attack, swooping down with
razor sharp claws aimed at sheep squash thick neck.
The claws rake across the fur, but fail to penetrate deeply due to she squatches dense
coat.
Shaking my sex tape, shaking off the blow, she squatch charges forward.
It's powerful horns aimed at bat squatches midsection.
The impact sends the flying beast tumbling into the dirt momentarily stunned.
Recovering quickly, bat squash uses its muscular arms to grapple with sheep squash, relying
on its strength and sharp claws.
It goes for sheep squatches vulnerable underbelly, slashing at exposed skin.
Roaring in fury, sheep squash bites down with its powerful jaws, sinking its teeth into bat
squatches arms.
The bite is brutal, but fails to incapacitate the wing cryptid.
The bat squash takes flight, wrenching itself free from sheep squatches bite.
The circles overhead, looking for an opening, with its immense wingspan it dives at full
speed slamming into sheep squash and knocking it off balance.
Sheep Squatch rises quickly, seemingly unfazed by the aerial assault.
Using its brute strength, it uproots a tree and hurls it up bat squash, clipping one wing
and forcing it to land.
Despite its injured wing, bat squash uses its agility and strength to dart behind sheep
squash, delivering a series of slashes to the back of its legs, causing it to stumble.
With a screech, bat squash clamps its powerful jaws around sheep squatch's throat, choking
off its roar.
Thrashing wildly, sheep squash uses its horns to gore bat squash's side, but the damage
isn't enough.
Slowly, sheep squatch's movement weaken as bat squash tightens its grip.
The winner is bat squash.
Bat Squatch is common in the material prowess.
Predatory agility and sharp claws secure its victory, while sheep squatch's brute strength
and stamina make it a formidable foe.
Its lack of speed and adaptability ultimately leave it vulnerable to bat squash's relentless
assault.
So you guys were right.
It's also got crippling methodiction too, so that'll slow it down.
Yeah, so bat squash is the winner there.
All right, that's all I got for you guys.
That was it.
That was enough.
I needed that.
That was intense.
I would make a good internet short film.
Right?
Or a decent comic or something.
Oh, definitely.
Like, Cryptid Battles?
Yeah, something.
Yeah.
Do you ever back on Newgrounds?
They used to have Master Chief versus Superman and all those little weird animations.
I feel a lot like that.
Yeah, it would make a good Flash animation, something like that.
Oh, definitely.
The ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny.
All right, well, that's the episode.
Thank you so much for listening, everyone.
Thank you to Matt for coming on.
Thank you to Sarge for always being here.
Before we go, Sarge, do you have anything you want to plug into the audience?
Yeah, get the coloring book.
The horrible crisis of all of our existence in the United States has been prolonged.
So the coloring book is just going to stay up.
Sarge's supernormal.com, spelled like it sounds.
You can get my coloring book on Amazon.
It's $9.99.
You can use it to lighten the mood or to burn and possibly make hot dogs.
I don't know.
Well, hey, you could put the pages in the top of a bottle and make a maltov and maltov
cocktail.
Yeah.
Deliver it to a CEO's house.
Yeah, that's an idea.
Yeah.
Probably shouldn't put that on the Internet.
We can don't that.
I, you know, based on based on the direction the Internet's headed, I think they're kind
of down for that idea.
Yeah, no, I mean, I'm fine with it.
I'm a big fan of all of the like really popular online detectives when the news reaches out
to them.
So what are you guys doing to find this guy?
And they're like, I'm not doing it.
He's got a beautiful smile and he's very charismatic.
So no, we're not going to find him.
I'm not narking on John Wick.
Yeah, right.
Dude, as soon as that dude went into Central Central Park, the cops are just like, I will
never find him.
Yeah, he's fine.
You know how big Central Park is?
Can't be just walking around all.
That's why you picked him up and flew him out.
Yeah.
All right.
Matthew, is there anything you want to plug or bring awareness to or?
I mean, you can find me on Instagram at bulk detonator.
I want to give a shout out to Pat.
His burgers are the damn best.
You can find him at Patch Burger.
Hell yeah.
And then one of my best friends, she's there, a musician, an artist and everything.
You can find them at Lucia.
That's L-U-C-I-A dot arts and music.
And that's on Instagram.
Check out her album.
There are everything.
It's fantastic.
Hell yeah.
And I'll be sure to put a link to all those.
I don't.
Yeah, I don't sell anything.
I'm just you just blow shit up, which is awesome, too.
Yeah.
Like this is this.
It's just me.
That's what my page is.
And just the various things that happened in my life, the various things you explode
for fun.
Yeah.
Sometimes explosions.
Sometimes it's nails.
Sometimes it's cats.
All things that are.
But you don't blow up cats.
Let's we want to be clear about that.
No cats were hurt.
We're hurt in the filming of the explosions.
No, the cats just hurt me.
Emotionally and physically, because they could be fucking straight up assholes.
They are bastards.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
If you want to follow us on Instagram, it's at Crypto Cocktail.
Follow us on TikTok Crypto Cocktail Party.
Please leave a rating and review either on Spotify or Apple.
They both, you know, helps us so much and make your friends listen to the show.
Even if even if they don't like the show.
Yeah.
Tell them to give us a good rating and review anyways.
You know, fucking tell them to listen.
That's just forcing.
No.
Yeah.
I'm forcing everybody to listen to this episode.
And also drink Narragansett beer because it's better than anything else that's out there
and in the form of domestic beer.
That's fair.
Bro.
Bro, come on.
No one's in Amesbury.
Let's be honest.
All right.
There's come on.
There's dozens of us.
I was going to say, if you're in Eastern New York, as someone who grew up not too far from
Amesbury, there's not much there.
Except for Matt.
I'm here.
Come hang out with me.
That's how it matters.
Exactly.
All right.
Thanks for listening.
And with that out of the way, usually Sarge says goodbye and I love you to the audience.
But Matthew, I think it's I think you should say goodbye and I love you to the audience.
Sure.
Goodbye.
I love you.
Take care of yourself.