Hey everybody.
Welcome back to another episode of Cryptic Cocktail Party Show.
We have a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive in the unknown.
I am your host Dave joined as always by my cohost Sarge and his cohost today.
Apparently is Lucy is dog.
What's going on?
She just, she saw me getting all fired up from the song and she's like, I want to
be a part of this.
So she jumped up in my lap and now she's now she's just trying to lick the
microphone and everything else.
She can get her paws on.
Yeah.
Uh, how you doing, bud?
Not bad.
Uh, been busy works, been busy as usual.
Oh, it's good to stay busy during these turbulent times.
During these turbulent times, the calm before the storm.
Yeah.
Don't eat my slippery, you son of a bitch.
God damn this dog.
She's having a moment right now.
Well, she loves you, man.
She just wants all of your attention.
She wants to be, she wants to be a part of me.
Yeah.
I had a crazy moment just like about a half an hour before we started.
I went in my laundry room to change over the laundry and there was a hornet in
there and I think it was just, uh, you know, trying to find someplace warm to
set up shop for the winter and I got caught in a spider web.
And so I'm like, Oh, this is going to be so cool.
I'm just about to get my, my phone so I can take a picture.
Right.
And then it falls like the, the spider web falls off and the spider is hanging from it.
Okay.
So now there's a hornet flying around very slowly, of course, cause of the
added weight and there's a spider just swinging from the bottom of it.
And then the whole thing just smashes into the wall and lands on the ground.
So I of course immediately stomp on it.
Yeah.
And as one would my, my sweet, but painfully stupid dog comes running
over to eat the whole thing.
Not going to lie.
A fly, a spider attached to a wasp was probably one of my biggest fears.
Now.
Yeah.
Now that there's been introduced into my life that now there's going to be a big
concern of mine moving forward.
So thanks for that.
Yeah.
If they start, if they start working as a team, we're fucked.
Yeah.
It's going to be all bad.
I'm glad you're doing good.
I'm a little hung over as Mars birthday yesterday, but I don't think it
should affect the show too much.
He said that I'm not drinking right now.
So sorry, Narragansett.
You want them all?
That's all right.
I'll drink for the both of us.
Narragansett, I am on your team.
But before we get started, I do believe that last week you had a story to tell,
but we didn't get to it.
A story from a waitress.
I believe that I could go stories on.
Okay.
All right.
So I had dinner at the Copley Plaza Hotel.
Mary Ann is the sweetest woman on earth.
She was our waitress.
Okay.
And they had Narragansett there.
So she brought me Narragansett and we did a, we did a photo shoot.
She was a lovely woman.
I saw the pictures and she told me like a really sad story about the Copley.
I'm going to keep names out of it because out of respect for the
women who were there with her way back.
And I was like, Oh, I'm going to keep names out of it because out of respect.
But apparently there was another person who worked there with her way back.
When, if everyone's familiar, the problem that the Catholic church had in Boston,
trying to be as polite about that as possible.
I think we're all familiar with that.
There's plenty of documents.
Anyway, there was a particular priest who had just gotten convicted and, you
know, he was in the hospital and he was in the hospital for a couple of days.
And he was in the hospital for a couple of days.
And then he came back to the hotel.
He decided to stay there for the night.
And he actually, he ended his life that night in the hotel.
Maybe we shouldn't have started the episode with the star.
I know it's kind of a downer, right?
But so I did, I did walk around the hotel cause it's supposedly haunted.
Yeah.
And I was on the sixth floor and I felt, no, this was like, so they say the
sixth floor is just the most haunted.
Oh, it's just what it is.
All right.
Gotcha.
Yeah.
So I'm on the sixth floor and I feel like, uh, like a goosebumps on my back.
Okay.
Like a spirit went through you kind of thing.
I don't know.
And then, well, this was the weird part.
I felt something like, you know, uh, how a spiderweb feels when it hits your
face, it like hit my earlobe.
Yeah.
Was it attached to a wasp?
I hope not.
Cause I would have woken up everyone in that hotel.
This was at like 1130, 12 o'clock at night.
I decided to have a couple of drinks and then go ghost hunting.
Yeah.
So, uh, and then, and then it happened again.
So that's why I didn't think it was like, uh, oh, I just walked through a spiderweb
because I was in like a different area and it happened again.
And this is like a very nice, like very clean hotel.
I can imagine that.
Everywhere you go, there's always somebody cleaning.
Yeah.
There's no spiderwebs just kicking around, but they, I mean,
if I've learned anything in my time of watching, uh, Zach Baggins and ghost
adventures, is that like, they're always saying that when you walk through a
spirit or a spirit walks, it's not like you always get like that's like you walk
through a spiderweb feeling.
So there's something to that.
I've always heard that too, even when I was a kid.
I don't know.
I, I, I'm not, I'm not one of those people who's going to be like, Oh, it's
definitely a ghost, but I'll tell you this much, it's certainly scared the shit out
of me.
Yeah.
It's the second time it happened, I was like, okay, I don't want to do this
anymore.
This is terrifying.
Wait, so were you, were you staying at the hotel or did you just wander around
it?
No, no, no, no.
I happened to be staying there.
Okay.
I didn't know if he's like what's the restaurant for dinner.
Like, you know, I just decided just roam around.
Nah, I figured I'd hang out.
Well, anyway, yeah, it was a terrifying, that's a pretty cool experience though.
I feel like, I feel like I want that, but I don't know how I'd react if it
happened.
You know what I mean?
Like, you got to come up here.
We'll, we'll stay at the Omni.
The Omni is super haunted.
Ooh, I do like a good haunting.
Well, Sarge, luckily today I got an episode for us and we aren't going to be
discussing cryptids or aliens or ghosts or anything like that.
We're going to be discussing a man.
Now this is a man who for close to 30 years has dedicated himself to being a
beacon of truth and light in a world full of false flags, fake news and
conspiracy.
A man that some claim, including himself, to be the tip of the spear in the fight
against the globalists, a man who was in a war, a constant war with the new world
order and info war.
Today we're going to be talking about Alex Jones.
Yeah, I am so fucking excited.
Bring on the gay frogs.
Yeah.
So we're going to be talking about Alex.
Hold on, time out.
Hold on.
Okay.
Wait, if we're going to talk about Alex Jones, I need to get something.
I'll be right back.
It better be a fucking tinfoil hat.
Let's talk about the globalists.
I thought you were going to come back with a fucking tinfoil hat, but this is
somehow so much better.
This is my old army helmet.
It was given to me when I first joined the army national guard and they forgot
that they gave it to me and there was no paperwork.
So I got to keep it.
Typical government bureaucracy.
Yeah.
On the back of my helmet, you can't see it now, but I wrote a little
bit of a message to the army national guard.
Yeah, on the back of my helmet, you can't see it now, but I wrote a long time ago
when they first gave it to me.
Don't shoot.
I joined for college.
All right.
Sorry.
So you can't see it anymore.
Today we're going to be talking about Alex, Emmerich Jones, or as I like to
call them, the poor man's Bill Cooper.
Cause if you know anything about Alex Jones, he stole the salt stick from Bill
Cooper and Bill Cooper went out like a lot to, he went out with a shoot out
and shooting the police.
Yeah.
No, I, I am very well aware of Bill Cooper.
Yeah.
So Alex Jones is definitely the poor man's Bill Cooper.
So I'm sure most of you listening are familiar with Alex Jones and Infowars
in some way or another, like whether it be from his famous documentary, dark
secrets inside Bohemian Grove, where he snuck into the Grove and filmed the
participants performing the creation of care ceremony, where they burn an effigy
in front of a 40 foot statue of an E an owl, pagan God named Moloch.
Or from that.
Yeah.
Or you might know him from that time that he defamed and harassed the
parents of the Sandy Hook victims and lost over a billion dollars because of it.
But more recently, and this is the reason why I decided to do this is that it
seems as though the info or at least this iteration of it has come to an end.
So Alex Jones, like if you don't know losing over a billion dollars for being
just an absolute shit heel, he and his company had to file for bankruptcy and
was forced to sell off the company and its assets in an auction while the
winning bid was announced last week and the fucking onion is now the proud new
owner of my day.
So in light of this news, I thought me and you, we would stroll down memory lane
and take a look at three of Alex Jones's stupidest fucking conspiracies and just
bask in how stupid this man really is.
But before we do that, or is he the smartest person in the world?
Hashtag Alex Jones was right.
Um, but, uh, but before we do that, I just want to say that while Alex Jones is a
fucking class a racist, hate filled looney tune moron and most psychopath,
yeah, most news outlets and people on social media just make jokes about him.
It's important to note that he's actually a very dangerous man with like serious
reach and influence.
So like, and serious mental health issues like, like we all make fun of him because
he's crazy, but like the truth of the matter is this man has genuine mental
problems.
And I'm not talking about like the funny kind, like this gentleman needs serious
mental health, the funny kind of mental health problems as there are many.
Yeah.
He's not Jack Nicholson from, uh, from as good as it gets.
He's Jack Nicholson from the shining.
Yeah.
Pretty much.
Yeah.
Um, so like, yeah, it's like from like the insurrection on January 6th to the
harassment of the Sandy Hook families, Alex Jones had a part in like all of it.
And his rhetoric has influenced like real world violence.
So for example, Edgar Welch, a North Carolina man, an avid info wars fan, he
drove to Comet ping pong pizza where the alleged pizza gate child sex ring was
happening and he fired a gun in the establishment.
And while not explicitly mentioned rhetoric like Alex's and other far right
media figures helped shape and influence the 2011 mass shooting carried out by
Andrew Brevik, uh, and also his 1,518 page manifesto, which reads like a
proud boy's wet dream.
It's and it's a hard read.
It's a mess.
Yeah.
No, like I said, he may be a raving madman, but you can't deny that he's
charismatic as fuck in one hell of a showman.
Like there's a reason he went from cable access in Austin, Texas to having, or at
least had a multimillion dollar propaganda outlet he's entertaining.
And for some reason, like he resonates with people.
They're fucking stupid people, but there's people.
Um, so I just wanted to get that out of the way like first, because if I learned
anything from listening to almost a thousand episodes of knowledge fight, what
we're about to do is not how you should cover Alex Jones by turning him into a
joke or a meme, but fuck it.
So, I mean, sometimes you got to have to, you have to.
So Sarge, are you ready to dive into Alex Jones's top three stupidest
conspiracies?
Oh God, yes, I am so ready.
All right.
So starting off at number three, this one's not great, but it is really dumb.
We have government weather weapons now.
You like that one?
In a nation that's regularly crippled by droughts.
Yeah.
Our government is definitely controlling the weather.
Yeah.
Now government weather weapon theories are like nothing new in the realm of
conspiracy theories and especially not on info.
Like this has been like, he loves the idea of the government being able to control
the weather and he pushes this any chance he gets.
He likes to focus particularly on the high frequency active or a rural research
program or harp claiming that the research facility in Alaska is actually a
secret government tool that the globalists use to create weather events
like hurricanes, droughts and other natural disasters like hurricanes and
tornadoes and shit.
Now harp started in the very early nineties and was initially run by DARPA,
but it hasn't been a government research facility since 2015 when the air force
shut down harp and gave control of the facility to the university of Fairbanks,
which now they're making the facilities available to researchers on a pay per use
basis.
So these rented out every once in a while for people to come and like fuck with
this guy.
That's what they want you to think.
But well, this hasn't stopped Alex from using harp as the cause of several
different conspiracies in the years following.
Most recently, he claimed that those two hurricanes that devastated North
Carolina and Florida, they were deliberately sent there by the Biden
Harris administration and a bid to somehow like naturally influence the
outcome of the 2024 election.
I don't really know how is it either by like making it so those areas affected
couldn't vote since they were predominantly like red states.
Yeah, it worked out really well.
Yeah, it worked out super well.
Yeah, and also that they were what he would call suppressing opposition or
maybe like he thinks that like by making the regions like reliant on government
aid and becoming dependent on the administration and power, the states don't
have a choice but to keep them in said power to get aid for the devastation.
I really that the government is not paying out as we learned, according to
the most recent conspiracy.
Yeah, but who knows?
Dude's an idiot and his reasons change depending on the day and what mood he's
in and also he's just so wrong about what harp is and does.
Like, yeah, for starters, harp has limitations, one being that it can only
send small like bursts of energy into the upper atmosphere.
It can't control or create weather.
And the second limitation is that again, it was shut down in 2015.
Now, while cloud seeding is a real thing, like they do go up in the sky and they
send it like this like silver particle stuff, but it's really only used to like
encourage localized rainfall.
And even then, there's science saying that it might not really do that much.
And it definitely can't create or like direct large scale weather events.
Most likely the cause for the increased frequency and severity of the weather
lately is climate change.
But Alex doesn't believe in that.
So we can't.
He believes in climate change.
He just thinks Bill Clinton is doing it.
Oh, fair enough.
Fair enough.
OK, so moving on to the number two dumbest Alex Jones conspiracy theory.
The turn in the friggin frogs gay gay frogs.
Yes, I was so waiting for this.
Oh, my God.
I fucking love this conspiracy theory so much because it's so stupid.
It makes no sense whatsoever.
There's no benefit to gay frogs except except nicely decorated
watering holes throughout throughout the world.
Just the most fabulous ponds you've ever been to some amazing fucking pond raves.
Exactly.
Now, this is a theory that a lot of you may be familiar with.
It's probably the most widely spread piece of Alex Jones media that there is out there.
It's been memed, referenced, animated.
I'm sure someone at some point on TikTok turned it into like a dubstep song.
Everyone knows it.
But for some of you, you may not know like just what the fuck he was ranting about
since the clip was taken largely out of context.
And a lot of you may be surprised to learn that that clip was from 2015.
I always assumed it was much.
No, that was like his.
That was really, I think 2015 was like the height of Alex Jones power.
Yeah, right around the election.
Yeah, because right after the election, Trump was like, oh, you're actually nuts.
I thought this was like a thing.
I don't know, man.
And so even Trump, you know, you have to be fucking crazy when Donald Trump is in the
scene, when Donald Trump is like, oh, no, I know who he is.
But like, we're not friends.
Well, there are rumors going around that he's I and Alex Jones to be the press secretary.
So, you know, honestly, that would be the only good thing to come out of the administration.
I would wholeheartedly co-sign on Alex Jones being the press secretary.
He's so that would make me so unbelievably happy.
I would love every minute of it.
Yeah. I mean, the speeches are already going to be unhinged.
I can only imagine.
I would watch every press conference.
Oh, and fucking.
Yeah. But but one thing you probably won't be surprised to learn about that clip
and like what he was ranting about is that it was part of his overarching
narrative about trans people, trans people, gender roles and family structures.
So what's the theory?
Well, throughout the mid 2010s and in that famous clip from 2015,
Jones alleged that the herbicide atrazine was intentionally placed into water supplies
to disrupt the hormones of amphibians, specifically the males of the species,
and turning them into, quote unquote, feminized or gay frogs.
But why would they be doing all this?
You may be asking why turn the friggin frogs gay?
Well, Sarge, it was a test.
The globalists.
Oh, for you, for those of you listening, you don't know what globalists are.
It's the Jews.
It's pretty much all that.
Always it is. It is. Yeah, it is definitely a code word for Jews.
It's definitely a dog whistle for sure.
But yeah, the globalists are weaponizing the same chemical and are going to use it on us.
And what it will do is it's going to interfere with our endocrine systems,
feminize the men and ultimately control the population.
See, Sarge, it's all part of a larger plot by the global elites
to destabilize masculinity and heterosexuality.
Duh. All right.
OK. You know what?
OK. Yeah.
And according to Alex, we're already seeing the results of this declining sperm counts,
increased infertility rates in humans, all linked to atrazine.
But here's the thing, Sarge, just no, that's not how any of that works.
No, no, no, no.
And and I don't know if Alex watched Jurassic Park,
but frogs can already switch genders, biological genders, kind of whenever they need to.
Yeah. So life, you know, yeah, they're not gay, Alex.
That's that's how that's how your God magic them into existence.
He was like, you know what?
I'm going to make Steve Stephanie for a little while because there's no other dude.
It is a bit of a sausage party and we need some more babies.
Yeah. And that was fine.
Who cares? Like, ultimately, who cares if frogs are gay?
True. It doesn't really affect anything.
But so the thing you got to understand about Alex is that he's basically a headline aggregator.
Like he reads a headline or the title of like a paper and then just kind of
makes up what he thinks is in the article and then claims it's all real, like totally happening.
Well, I remember the episode of Knowledge Fight when he was reading
something about Big Macs or McDonald's not using beef anymore.
And then halfway through the article, he realized that wasn't the article at all
and just stopped reading it and changed the subject.
He does that shit all the time. And that's what he did with this one.
Whenever he goes off on the theory, he likes to cite the work of a biologist named Tyrone Hayes,
who found that atrazine exposure in frogs does disrupt their endocrine system,
causing male frogs to exhibit female characteristics or same sex mating behaviors.
And these findings are well documented, but they apply specifically to amphibians because
they have permeable skin and that makes them way more sensitive to environmental chemicals.
So he really just took those scientific findings about the gay frogs and like amplified it to 11
to suit whatever his narrative of the at the time was in Stoke Fear and Homophobes
or alpha type dudes, I guess. I don't know.
That's what they want you to think. No, that is what they want you to think.
Yeah. But the EPA and other organizations around the world,
have found no evidence that atrazine affects human endocrine systems at the levels
you would find in drinking water. And also the human body is decidedly nothing like a frog's.
Like humans are far less sensitive to chemicals like this.
Yeah. I, you know, I, I don't, I don't ever recall hearing about there being a lot of medical testing
done on amphibians. Yeah. Usually they use a mammal of some kind.
Yeah. Usually like a pig, you know, because of the warm blood and circulatory system very similar.
The human beings. I'm also, I'm sure this won't shock you, but there's also no evidence to support
the atrazine as part of some population control agenda. Fertility issues in humans come from a
variety of factors like lifestyle, environmental pollutants, like not just this one thing alone.
Yeah. And smaller penises. Yeah. Over time it's just, they're getting worse and worse.
Well, I mean, we're more accurate these days. We don't have to hurry up because there's a saber tooth
tiger coming. So you don't need, you know, you don't need quantity. You just need quality,
something clearly lacking from Alex Jones and his birthing situation.
Oh, all right. So Sarge, we got, we got two down. We got one left. How are we feeling about these two?
And do you have a guess of what the third one could be? Please tell me it's his Y2K thing.
Honestly, that made me so happy. That wasn't even on the, that didn't even cross my mind.
That is a good one though. Okay. Well, we are here. The number one dumbest Alex Jones conspiracy theory is
human animal hybrids. Oh, Chimera. We're doing the chimeras, buddy. Now, chimeras. This is probably
the wildest theory that Joan has, and he has been talking about it for years. And it blows my mind
that people will hear him talk about this, like what we're about to talk about and then take
anything he says afterwards, seriously, because it's just so beyond bananas. Oh, it's absurd.
I do recall this. So from pretty much day one, I actually don't know if that's true, but for a long
time, Alex has been talking about human animal chimeras being grown in a lab for a number of
different reasons and frames them as a product of un-animalized, un-animalized, un-animalized
unethical and satanic science conducted by the elites as a way to quote unquote play God.
Now, he claims that these animal, animal human hybrids are being used for a few key things.
One, these human animal hybrids are being grown and bred for their organs and DNA,
and these beings are conscious and aware of their suffering. In one of his more unhinged rants on
the subject, he goes into great detail about quote unquote fish people. He claims to be alive in one
of these laboratories saying quote, they're putting human DNA into fish and growing them as hybrids.
They have sad, deformed human faces. I knew Shape of Water was a documentary. I knew it.
They have sad, deformed human faces, human eyes on fish bodies. It's an abomination, end quote.
The second reason they are being used in military experiments to create some type of like super
soldier or something. I'm not really too sure what they are. So we can swim good. Like what,
yeah, why? And then number three, that these experiments are part of a broader plot to
replace humanity with controllable artificial beings. So yes, because human beings notoriously
difficult to control. Yeah. And he should know that this pretty easy considering he runs a pop
like propaganda outlet. But yeah, now my favorite part of this theory is, and I love him for this,
is that Alex Jones is a big advocate in terms of like getting these poor fish men with sad human
eyes, like some rights. I mean, you got human rights, you got animal rights. The government
needs to step in and give these human animal hybrids some goddamn human animal rights.
I actually, he is like a, he is like a red pudgy Rosa Parks with high blood pressure.
Just, just fighting for all of us. I actually found this clip from, it's from a July 6th, 2017
episode of the Alex Jones show where he's talking to noted fuckstick Dr. Group about just this. And
it takes a weird turn. Like I think group was there to help like push a supplement that he
had coming out or something like that. Naturally. And somehow the conversation went from like GMOs
to this. And this clip gets kind of weird, but I wanted to play it because the end of it is so
fucking funny. Are you ready for this? Yep. Folks, I have hundreds of articles I see every week about
human animal chimeras with no rights. You talked about people, you know, in research labs, I've
talked to them too. You see humanoids, they're like 80% gorilla, 80% pig, and they're talking.
And this is highly, go ahead. Case law school in 2006 was hired to develop law for the future of
transgenic organisms. And they're already saying we want to force a debate. What rights are they
going to, like, do you get rights as a human if you have 50% DNA? Like what are the rights that
are going to be? We need to make this illegal. This needs to be illegal. It needs to be. They're
talking about making it illegal to make child pedophile robots. OK, OK, you make that illegal.
But but but it's a weird job. The human splice with animals. I mean, this is beyond pedophilia.
This is beyond pedophilia. OK, they're trying to make robots, child pedophile robots illegal,
but not this. This is bigger. I want Alex Jones to write many movie scripts like I want him to
write film scripts and I want to make his movies. I think he would make really good, like dystopian
sci fi movies like I think they would be amazing. Yeah, it'd be real Philip K. Dickish. I feel like
I would have to go. I would have to really do some hard research to figure out how to make a gay frog,
but I would do it for Alex Jones. What's what's tough for me is that he is such a terrible human
being, but at the same time, he is really like my generations. He is like a pre Internet lol cow.
Oh, yeah, for sure. Yeah, like back in the days of VHS tapes and shit. Yeah. But anyway, Sarge,
back to the human animal hybrids. Obviously, this isn't a thing. No, no, it's not. No, it's true that
human animal, quote unquote, chimera research is a legitimate area of science that is aimed at like
growing like human compatible organs, but it's nothing like this. Like normally they would just
take some human stem cells, stick them in like an animal embryo, like a pig or a sheep to study
diseases or harvest, you know, grow for organ transplants. And there are very strict ethical
guidelines that govern this type of research and the embryos are often destroyed almost immediately.
So like the goal here is to help save lives, not create fucking abominations against God. And well,
I think the thing that's missing from Alex Jones's entire conspiracy is why.
What do you mean? Why would you make this to make to make it more? What was it?
It a more compliant popular? What would it what would they do? Like, what is the benefit of
having human beings if they're part pig? That's what I'm that's what I'm failing to understand here.
Sarge, like the whole point, the value of human beings is our thumbs. If you replace those
thumbs with hooves, we can't do much. Sarge, the problem here is that you're thinking about it.
And I'm going to need to need to not think about this. Don't think about it. Don't don't think
about it. Got it. Yeah. And as I'm sure you probably already guessed or no, there are no
known cases of creating a conscious sentient hybrid, plus creating creatures with quote unquote human
faces or sad human eyes or whatever the fuck would not only be like ethically prohibited,
but also just biologically impossible. It's kind of a weird idea, like a weird thing to do.
I imagine if you showed up as a biologist and you were like, hey, listen, guys, I have an idea.
What if we made a pig that could talk and have a human human organs? And they're like, you know
what, Mike, I think you need to take a day off. According to that clip we just listened to there.
Lost writing loss. Yeah. But also, you know, they're 80 percent gorilla, they're 80 percent pig,
they're talking. So, you know, but yeah, it's but anyways, there you have the Sarge. Those are the
this is the definitive top three list of Alex Jones, Dumas theories. How we feeling about them?
Alex Jones, I'm thoroughly enjoying your downfall, dude. It's been so glorious.
It is. It has been a light and otherwise very dark couple of years. Oh, yeah. Like the day
that news broke that well, the one when he lost a billion dollars. That's just great right there.
But that was number one. Amazing. But I also loved watching his trial. His trial made me so
happy because he's so stupid. Oh, yeah. And those depositions, dude. Fuck. So good. I love it. I'm
glad he's just I'm not glad, but I'm glad that he's going to be gone. I don't fucking hear
Owen Troyer anymore. I hope he just goes away too. They're all just bad. But yeah. So anyways,
they haven't. This is yeah, I hope this is fun for you. I thought it was fun. It's just something
a little made me so happy. We usually talk about conspiracies or pedal, right? We don't pedal in
conspiracy. So I want to talk about the dude who actually does peddling conspiracies and not the
fun ones either. These are like these are and I often don't get a chance to wear my military.
Yeah. But I thought, by the way, just for all of you out there who do the whole fucking stolen
barrel. I didn't wear this in Iraq. This was just, you know, a shitty extra helmet they had that I
needed to wear during practice. You know, when we were drilling, they gave me an actual helmet
before I went to war. This is just the, you know, oh, hey, he's a, you know, brand new private.
Yeah. Take this piece of shit helmet from Vietnam. Yes. But he does wear it to the Applebee's to get
a 10 percent discount on all this meal. So, oh, yeah, no, all the time. I got a free donut last
week. Hell, yeah, brother. Like I was saying before, his like these are like his fun, quote
unquote conspiracies that he has. Oh, yeah. He's got some real dark ones. And they're and but even
these are still rooted in like weird anti-semitic, probably homophobic. Like the reasons behind these
theories are always nightmarish. But these are the more fun ones, I guess, because all the other ones
are fucked up and not like I could I could go for days talking about why his theories are crazy and
wrong. But I always stop myself because it's like, I mean, the people who know that they're wrong
already know and the people who don't know, they're not far too dumb for me to reach. Yeah,
they're not going to listen to you at all about like you're just another sigh out, bro. All right.
Yeah. Oh, this is I think we should just make frogs gay again. I'm fine with that. That's the
new MAGA make frogs do it. MFGA motherfuckers. I love it. All right. So, yeah, Sarge, that's it.
Is there anything you want to say to the plug or say to the audience? Yeah. I mean, I guess my
my coloring book still fucking relevant. Sages supernormal.com. Yeah, Sages supernormal.com.
Instead of dealing with your fears, just color them in a little bit. It's a coloring book.
It's nine ninety nine. I'm sorry it's expensive, but my publisher has to make their money back
somehow after dealing with me for the few months that we work together. Get the coloring book. It's
on Amazon. It's a real real live coloring book. They'll mail it to your house and then you can,
you know, color it. And if you don't like it, you roll it up and, I don't know,
beat your neighbor with it. I don't care. But get it because it's I'm going to try to make more
actually. Now that things are terrible, I'm probably going to make another one or a couple
more. Good idea. I mean, I'd get it. Yeah, I already have the yeah, we'll do a cryptid theme
one. That'd be fun. Yeah. Yeah. So grab his coloring book. Sages supernormal.com. Nine ninety nine.
It's not that expensive. I don't know. It's not bad at all. You know. All right. As for us,
if you want to follow us on Instagram, Crypto Cocktail, follow us on TikTok, Crypto Cocktail
Party. If you want to follow Sarge on his socials, you can find the link to that in our Instagram
bio. Also drink Narragansett beer. Sorry about that. I almost almost didn't talk about our sponsor.
Drink Narragansett beer. It's shot at the very beginning of the episode. I know. But I'm going
to do another one. It cures what ails you. And also we check out Crypto Camp, the new TCG coming
out that we were blessed to be a part of their promotional team, I guess you would call it. I
don't really know a lot of cool people behind it, especially Erica from Camp Crypto podcast,
which is also a really good podcast. If you don't listen to it, definitely go check that out.
And with that out of the way. Oh, leave us a rating and review, please. Yeah. Just, you know,
rain review. Share with your friends. I'm on blue sky now. Oh, you can find me there. Sarge,
the destroyer on blue sky. I've actually been on blue sky for a long time, but no one else was.
So I didn't hang out there for a while. But it's become the new, like less racist Twitter. So you
should go there. Yeah. Give it time though. I'm sure it'll catch up. Yeah. But the thing is they're
going to get banned there. You know what I mean? And it's like a real ban. It's like a Twitter ban
where like you could still see the tweets. Gotcha. So yeah. So go follow Sarge on blue sky. It's
hard to say. I think we have one. I'm not 100% sure. I feel like we do. Well, we better because
I'm going to tag us in about five minutes. I mean, I get if we do have it, I'll give you the login
for that and you can just be the blue sky guy. All right. Deal. All right. And with that,
I'm always Sarge. Would you like to say goodbye? And I love you to the audience.
May the blessings of Mothman be upon you. And I love you.