Hey everybody, welcome back to the award-winning Cryptid Cocktail Party, a show where we have
a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown.
I am your award-winning host Dave, joined as always by my award-winning co-host, Sarge,
what's going on bud?
Hello, I'm an award-winning superhero.
I don't know if that's the right word for it.
I was in Hollywood, that's why we couldn't record last weekend, so I'm important.
I wasn't in Hollywood for a good reason.
Well, it was a good reason for me, but it wasn't like, you know.
Fucking rock star over here, god damn.
It was work, but I like my job.
So it was a whirlwind trip.
I went to Colorado to watch the Air Force Navy game with some coworkers and then journeyed
onward to LA to do some work stuff.
Then I got to have some fun as well.
I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger two hours after my plane landed.
It's the most absurd thing ever.
I'm walking through Venice Beach, I'm checking out all the sights.
I wanted to see the outdoor gym that they show in every 80s movie ever made in California.
As I'm walking back towards the car, I see this giant mountain on an electric bicycle
rolling towards me.
The fact he's on an electric bicycle is even funnier because he's on the way to a gym.
Like why wouldn't you just get your cardio in now?
Well, think about it though.
Think about it.
He's probably on the electric bicycle to get away from people like me because the minute
I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger, my jaw dropped and I just stared at him.
I think he noticed because he was looking at my direction and he had this look on his
face like, get to the chopper, they found me.
I need to get away from this fucking wide eyed psycho as fast as possible.
I would have been an absolute ghoul.
I would have been like, let me take a picture with you.
He seems nice enough though.
I feel like he'd be fine.
I'm sure he would have been, but I don't want to be that guy who harasses a famous person
when I see him on the street.
But I am that guy always and I don't mean to be.
I'm actually glad he rode by so I didn't make an ass in front of myself in front of the
Govenator.
True.
I bet he deals like, you would remember that forever for the rest of your life as one of
the most cringiest things.
For him that's like- I would have told the story to everyone I knew.
For him that's like Tuesday.
He doesn't give a fuck.
Also I saw a picture of him recently and he looks like a fucking jack Santa Claus because
he has a big beard now.
That's what I'm saying.
I saw his beard and that's how I recognized him because I follow him on Instagram.
This is the second time I've seen Arnold Schwarzenegger.
I've now seen Arnold Schwarzenegger on two coasts.
Is he just bored?
What does he do now?
Is he just at the Govenator or is he just fucking through his mouth?
He does videos on Instagram and he's always smoking a cigar.
When I was in my late teens, I think I was like 19 or almost 20, I was working on Martha's
Vineyard for a summer.
But anyway, Arnold Schwarzenegger used to- I don't know if he still does, but he used
to have a house on the Vineyard and he used to have a big yellow Hummer that he would
drive around and I spotted him.
And so I thought, I was like, this is the coolest thing.
I've now seen him on two different oceans.
And then I went to Malibu one day.
We went to dinner at this restaurant.
I think it's called Sunset at Malibu or something like that.
And we're on the second floor and you get to see these gorgeous sunsets.
And so I ran downstairs to call my dad because my parents were away as well and they had
just arrived home.
And so I'm talking to my dad and I hear this guy shouting about the UN Security Council.
Drone strikes in the CIA.
And I'm thinking, this guy's having an intense conversation.
I look over and I realize that he's not holding a cell phone and he does not have earbuds
in and he's looking directly at me.
And so I was like, uh-oh.
He was accusing me of being in the CIA.
And then he pointed right at me and said, California is not afraid of you.
And we're like, yeah, no, it's a detracts.
I was like, okay, fair enough.
I mean, you could be in the CIA.
Who the fuck knows?
I don't know.
You wouldn't tell me if you were.
Well, I mean, here's the thing.
I do give, I do at times give off big cop energy and I don't mean to.
You do.
It's just like, you know, it's my sunglasses.
Yeah.
And you know, I was in the military.
So I have like, oh, it's still like many years later not being in.
I still kind of have that military bearing.
So I walk around the corner and finish the phone call with my dad to go back upstairs
and tell my coworkers and they don't believe me.
They're like, no, no, no.
He wasn't talking about it.
It had to be something else.
He was probably just yelling at you.
You look out the window, just standing across the street, pointing at you through the window.
Well, we come back downstairs to leave and here he is still shouting at me.
It's like he was just continuing the conversation that he was having with himself or a ghost
at me.
And my coworkers got the biggest kick out of this because like I'm a relatively like
mild-mannered chill guy.
Like I don't get that worked up at my job.
I feel like when you work in HR, you can't get worked up.
That's like the opposite.
Yeah.
You have to, you have to be really cool and really even keeled.
Like I'm not like one of those like, no, one of those people that puts on like a facade
at work.
I just like, you know, I don't make a big deal about stuff.
And this dude was, he was losing his mind and they're laughing because like to them,
it's so absurd.
Yeah.
That's fucking wild.
That's insane.
So thank you for enjoying my 10 minute diatribe about, about the West coast.
Yeah.
I'm an LA guy now.
Not too, but also very exciting news for us.
I don't know if you're, if I'm sure you guys already forgot by now at the top of the episode,
but we won an award, best cryptid podcast of 2024 from the para pod podcast awards.
So boom, which is also by proxy, the two sexiest men in cryptology, cryptozoology, excuse me.
So we're, we're officially award winning podcasters.
I'll raise an arrogance to that.
And we're going to be very obnoxious with it.
And it's going to be very aggressive.
Cheers.
Cheers, buddy.
Thank you.
And thank you everyone listening.
I don't, I mean, it's not like you guys voted or anything like that, but I'm sure something,
I don't know how it works.
I just know we want, so fuck it, whatever.
All right, sorry.
I have an episode to go over with you today.
I'm so ready.
It's our first episode in like two weeks.
It's been a while, but you know, sometimes, uh, uh, what is it?
Distance makes a hard girl, Fonda or something like that.
Whatever.
Absence or distance.
Same thing.
Or, or, you know, like slightly enthusiastic hand jobs.
All of those things make the hard girl, Fonda.
Exactly.
All right.
Today, Sarge, we are going to be traveling to the Isle of man.
It's a self-governing British crown dependency located in the Irish sea between England and
Ireland.
I don't know what a self-governing British crown dependency is.
In my head, it's like, I'm like the British version of what I like, like Puerto Rico or
Guam, I assume, like a territory.
Like it's still under their control, kind of, but like they have their own government.
It's got to be like that.
I think it's kind of like Canada and Australia were until they became fully independent.
Okay.
So they're still like under the crown, but they're not, but they have like their own
parliament and shit.
Like, God, all right.
Yes, exactly.
Okay.
Now the Isle of man is known for its rugged coastline, its medieval castles, and is home
to what is considered the quote unquote greatest motorcycle sporting event in the world.
It's called the Isle of man TT, which is a street racing competition that began in 1907.
And it takes place over a two week period and has since become a large festival for motorcycle
culture and is a big part of like the island's economy as a whole.
I don't know.
Okay.
Yeah.
I just wanted to give you a little flavor of where we are.
Now, this is all modern shit.
We're going to be going back to 1931.
So don't worry about any of this stuff.
Yeah.
Back when, back when motorcycles were really just, you know, you grabbed, you grabbed the
poorest person in town and paid them to push you on a bicycle.
But in a, in September of 1931 at the Irving family's isolated farmhouse at the door, Lish
Koshan located a little way from the village of Dalby, something a bit weirder was a foot
on the Isle of man.
See the Irving family consisting of James Irving, his wife, Margaret, and their teenage
daughter of Laura just arrived at the farmhouse in the fall of 1931.
Not long after their arrival, the Irvings began hearing odd sounds in their home.
At first it was just things like scratching, rustling, things you would associate like
with like a rat or like a sort of animal caught in the wall.
Then whatever it was started stealing the family's food, which I mean, it's also kind
of like not stealing, but like eating.
Like, like you would just expect like a little varmint or whatever.
Just munching.
Yeah, just munching.
So James, the father was like, fuck this and set traps up like, like in all the areas,
like an animal could get in or out of, but no animal was ever caught yet the noise and
like the stealing of the food continued.
As the days passed, the sounds became a bit stranger.
Like whatever this elusive entity was behind the walls, it started mimicking animal sounds,
started making what sounded like spitting and growling sounds.
What in the fuck?
And then over time it evolved into speech.
Now at first it's spoken broken and nonsensical sentences, but over time the speech became
more articulate.
And finally the entity was able to introduce himself.
He said, my name is Jeff.
And he claimed.
So he said that my name is Jeff.
And he claimed to be a mongoose born in New Delhi, India in 1852.
So today's side, we're going to be talking about Jeff, the talking mongoose.
Are you familiar with this at all?
I am.
I am lightly familiar with this.
So I had a book a long time ago that my mom bought me and it was like a whole book of
oddities, like, you know, strange rains and time slips in Versailles.
And of course, G E O F F the talking mongoose.
I do recall him.
G E F. Oh, is it G E F?
I thought it was G E. Okay.
You got the G right.
Yes.
I am mildly familiar with with this story and I actually fucking love it.
So I'm so glad we're covering it.
So he said his name is Jeff and he claimed to be a mongoose that was born in New Delhi,
India in 1852.
But Jeff made sure to let the family know that he was no ordinary animal telling them
quote unquote, I am an extra, extra clever mongoose.
Now at this point, the family's like, what the fuck is happening?
And they weren't like quite sure what to make of this voice, like, because it's coming from
the walls like they don't like, was it a spirit, a fucking demon or like, is it actually like
a talking mongoose?
Like who the hell knows?
But they kind of just like resigned to the fact that now they just have to like live
with it now, which.
Yeah, I mean, this is kind of a bold play for a ghost.
Right.
True.
Like you're already something that is hard to believe.
Yeah.
But now you're expecting people to not only accept that you're a ghost that can talk.
Yeah.
But you're a mongoose, but you chose the name Jeff.
Yeah.
That's a lot to take it.
I mean, Jeff's a great name.
I mean, if you, if it is a great name, but not for a ghost mongoose.
I mean, yeah, but if you were in a isolated cabin in the middle of the Isle of Man and
you just heard coming from your walls.
My name is Jeff.
Like you'd have a blast.
I would be extremely excited about this.
Oh, I'm so glad I fucking stole that selfie.
I would tell everyone.
So, no, as time went on, Jeff's interaction became a little more complex, so to say, and
his personality really began to shine.
You know, he claimed to live in the walls of the farmhouse and made his presence by
tapping on walls, moving objects and making a variety of different animal sounds.
I don't know what they were.
I'm assuming chickens, dogs, whatever.
Like I fucking who knows.
Jeff's and around this time, Jeff also started to let the family in on the fact that he's
kind of like a mischievous little fucker.
He's got, he's got like a kind of like a trickster vibe.
There's no other way to be if you're a ghost mongoose.
You have to be a trickster.
Yeah.
He would he would listen in on conversations happening in the house and would only interrupt
to make rude or sarcastic comments, which is the best.
That's exactly what I do.
Like one example was James Irving, the father, were like trying like speak to Jeff, basically
try to like, when I was like, who are you, spirit?
Like just like get to know him better.
And then Jeff would just openly mock him to his face.
It's like, what are you doing here, Jeff, when you do need Jeff?
It's like that kind of shit.
Stupid.
Like if James were to ask him a question, like something Jeff would say things like,
quote, if you knew what I knew, you'd know a hell of a lot.
Basically just calling him fucking idiot.
Like, yeah, yeah.
But Jeff wasn't always a dick.
Jeff would sing popular songs from the radio from memory, imitate voices and recite nursery
rhymes.
He was also a bit of a gossip.
He claimed he had the ability to travel far from the Irving's farmhouse and he would eavesdrop
on like neighbors conversations and then bring the hot gossip back to the family.
Just like I kind of hope that Jeff was actually just like the neighborhood drunk, just living
in the walls.
Yeah, just living in the walls.
I mean, like he needed a place to crash and he's like, what's the most logical thing I
could be to explain my presence?
Oh, a mongoose named Jeff from India.
Yeah.
Yeah, Jeff would also just start saying random shit.
Like he said, quote, I am a ghost in the shape of a weasel and I shall haunt you with weird
noises and clanking chains and quote, or he would say, quote, I am not a spirit.
I am an extra clever beast.
End quote.
Okay.
Now, I don't know if you've noticed this, but both the sentences kind of like contradict
each other.
They don't make any goddamn sense.
Yeah.
But it seemed like being an enigma to the family, I guess, is like he loved that shit.
Like he would claim to be like a spirit or a ghost while other times claiming he's like
an actual living mongoose.
Like he just, he just like sows confusion and doubt into whatever is going on.
And why wouldn't he?
Yeah.
He described, he even described himself as being about 12 inches long with yellowish fur,
a bushy tail and small hands.
And at this point, Jeff had never like appeared in front of anyone yet.
So like no one in the family knew like just what the fuck he is.
He did eventually like show himself to the family.
I think the father and the daughter were the first to like see him and the activity surrounding
Jeff and the family kept on intensifying as time went on.
And by 1933, Jeff seemed to take a liking to the Irving's teenage daughter, Voira.
The two seemed, they like had like a special connection and they're like pretty close.
And it's because of this connection and close relationship that much of this story like
unfolded.
Voira was home a lot while James and Margaret were out working.
So she was, so she was able to like hear and see Jeff more than the other members of the
family.
And then this led some to believe that she was either like the focus of the phenomenon
or like the cause of like channeling the entity or whatever.
Like either intentionally or unintentionally, though Voira maintained that she had nothing
to do with what happened like spiritually or even like hoaxing it.
But as Jeff's presence became more entrenched in the household, he started to get what I
would describe as a little manic.
See actually before we get into this, how are you doing with this story so far?
Are you, is this, are you familiar with all of this or are you just know?
I'm fucking all in.
I'm familiar with most of this.
I forgot that he used to pick on the dad.
He was a straight up asshole to the dad.
Which is good actually.
It should be because now it just makes it like a sitcom.
This is like elf, but with a ghost.
Yeah.
Minus the cat eating.
Yeah.
We don't know that yet.
We don't know what, what Jeff would know.
And was looking true.
I didn't include this in here, but he also had like, he had like a weird thing where
like he can't, he didn't act as like a protector, but I think like the family thought he was.
So they would leave him like little offerings, like chocolates and biscuits and he would
take them and then he would say, thank you through the walls.
And then he would just end up being a dick to the dad anyway.
Like it's fucking hilarious.
Like Jeff fucking rules, dude.
Which is exactly like my cat.
Nice to everyone but me.
Pretty much.
I'm the one who feeds him and he's just like, let me know on your hand for a little bit.
This is basically like if a cat could talk, it's just fucking with you the entire time.
But like I said, as like things started like increasing, he got a little bit more manic
because word had started spreading about like what was happening at the Irving farmhouse
and it started attracting the attention of both the media and paranormal investigators.
So he became increasingly paranoid about being seen or exposed by outsiders.
And then he just started, he just started making like fucking shit off the wall remarks
like like about like what would happen if anyone saw his quote unquote true form stating
quote unquote, I am a freak.
I have hands and I have feet.
And if you saw me, you'd faint.
You'd be petrified, mummified, turned into a stone or pillar of salt.
So he's like Goku.
I don't know.
I just don't get to see his true form.
Yeah, I don't know anything about anime.
I just, my teammate in Iraq used to watch Dragon Ball Z. And the only thing I knew is
that you had this guy with black hair and it would turn yellow when he had achieved
his true form.
And then he was like super strong in a fight.
Sure.
That sounds a hundred percent right.
I'm only saying that because I don't know anything about Dragon Ball either.
So me either.
Me neither.
I feel like Jeff is insinuating here that it's like Pennywise the clown.
Like, you know, like, like Jeff is like his, like what he can attract humans with, but
his true form is just something so fucking horrific that your human brain couldn't comprehend
it, which is hilarious.
He hasn't achieved his true form.
He's like, he's like your overly conservative neighbor who believes in, in contrails, but
he won't or what is it?
Chemtrails, but he won't tell you all that stuff at first.
He doesn't achieve his true form until you get him drunk.
Yeah.
The first neighborhood barbecue is when that shit starts really coming out.
Exactly.
Yeah, but, but despite Jeff's weird like existential crisis, he did continue to play his tricks,
you know, stealing food, moving objects, and then eventually started throwing little stones
at visitors or extended family members when they came and visited.
I fucking love Jeff.
Yeah.
And again, just to be clear, like even though his behavior was mischievous, he was never
malicious.
Like he never, like he would say off the wall shit, but he'd never like attacked anyone.
Like he was, you know what I mean?
He never harmed anyone.
He was just, he was like, like a shit talker.
He was like a, like a fucking pole board troll kind of thing.
Like he just said fucking crazy shit.
Which I'm fine with too.
Yeah.
Now, uh, in 1935, the family finally allowed the haunting to be investigated.
Harry Prince and his colleague, Richard Lambert were the lucky two who got this opportunity
and the pair were rightfully skeptical of the family and their story of a fucking talking
mongoose demon.
But they would be, they noted that the family seems sincere in their claims and they weren't
like gaining any fight.
Like they, like they weren't making money off this story.
Like they weren't going out.
Like they know like a book deal.
There wasn't like, it's 1930s.
So it's not like there's like fucking TV camera crews everywhere.
You know what I mean?
Like they weren't gaining anything from it.
So it'd be weird for them to just make shit up.
But also they were isolated and alone and maybe this is a way to get people to come
visit them.
So you know what I mean?
Like this, they needed some sort of interaction from the outside world.
Yeah.
I can see how this conversation goes.
You know, we don't really see our neighbors that much.
Maybe we should throw a party.
And the dad's like, hear me out.
I got an idea.
I mean it worked.
But needless to say, like their investigation into the matter was inconclusive.
They couldn't find any hard evidence of Jeff outside of the family stories, but they also
couldn't find any evidence disputing that Jeff wasn't real.
They did hear some strange unexplained noises like here and there.
And they got some photographs and some footprints and a first sample, though that was later
dismissed as being from the family dog.
But hold on.
But the footprints though, they were a little more interesting.
They were a set of four toed prints that didn't match any known species on the Isle of Man.
So you know what I mean?
Yeah.
I'm all in, dude.
I fucking love this story.
I want it to be true.
I will accept it uncritically.
Now after the investigation, so between like 1935, 1936 timeframe, Jeff's presence became
less frequent.
But when he did make himself known, he would just say more just off the wall shit.
And not and now it's like, and now it's like in an ominous tone.
I'm going to fucking kill everyone here.
He would say shit like quote unquote, I'll follow you wherever you go.
And quote unquote, I have three minds.
I am not like one of you.
The fuck does that mean?
Yeah, I don't know what that means.
It sounds like Jeff had reached his incel phase.
It's wild.
He even shouted once, quote unquote, I am the Holy Ghost, which is at this time in this
area like super blasphemous.
And I feel like you should settle down, Jeff.
Yeah, he's he's going a little.
He's going a little off the deep end here.
Little too much.
Yeah.
So as the years continued, just presence faded more and more from the family.
And by the late 30s, they had reported less and less encounters.
Then in 1945, James passed away and the family sold the farmhouse.
And it seemed as though once the family left, Jeff kind of moved on as well.
And there was no more reports either from the family or the new occupants of any antics
from the talking mongoose.
Vora moved to England and lived a quiet life after the events on the island, man, and always
maintained that Jeff had been real.
She did she did like a rare like interview like later in her life.
And she expressed how frustrated she was that people doubted her story and insisted that
she and her family were not part of a hoax and that she regretted the attention the story
brought brought to her and her family.
And she just wants to like leave the whole thing behind her in the past.
I mean, for me, part of the reason I believe that this story is real to some degree, at
least to the people who live there, is who would make that shit up?
Yeah, right.
Like if you want someone to believe that your house on an isolated island off the coast
of England is haunted, you would you would pick a fucking sea captain or, you know, like
a puffin, some kind of sea sea going creature if you wanted it to be an animal.
You're not going to pick a fucking mongoose from India.
Well, maybe they thought that fucking like Ricky Tiki Tavi was just like to them it was
so exotic.
They're like, what if he said it was an exotic animal?
Yeah, they're like Ricky Tiki Tavi is the tits.
Right. A whole fucking script about that instead.
Yeah.
But like, but so just what was Jeff the talking mongoose?
There are a couple of theories floating around.
I figured we could discuss.
Yes.
You can tell me your favorite one.
I got one that I like.
I'm pretty biased.
So, yeah, why don't we just try and solve this right now?
The first theory is that it's just a straight up hoax.
OK, I don't.
Some think that whoever came up with that.
So something that Voira was like solely responsible for what they think was a long term prank.
They claim that Voira was using ventriloquism to like throwing her voice to create the voice
of Jeff the mongoose, which is bananas, because that means you would have to practice ventriloquism.
You have to know what ventriloquism was.
Yeah.
Practice it.
And that like I just don't buy that one at all.
That one's a little too insane for me.
Yeah, it's not like they have YouTube.
You know, she can't Google how to ventriloquism.
Right.
Come on.
It's pretty bananas.
Number two is poltergeist.
This one seems the most plausible to me.
Like just behavior does closely resemble activity you'd see with poltergeist.
Like, first and foremost, like the focus of Jeff was the young girl.
And it's like a lot of poltergeist activities for some reason does focus around young women.
Also the fact that it's near water.
Poltergeist activity also happens to be very prevalent near water.
And it kind of makes sense that like as she grew up out of her adolescence, that like
that's why the reason Jeff's shit started like fading away.
But also like, you know, you add in like the mischievous and disruptive behavior of Jeff.
Like it just seems to fit really.
Like I don't know.
Does that make sense?
I don't know that makes sense.
Yeah, but I think so.
The reason that I'm leaning towards that too, is that with poltergeist activity, typically
it centers around teenage children.
She was a teenage teenage girl.
Yeah.
When they moved there, she was a teenager.
I don't know how young the thing is, though, like I don't remember.
I don't I don't think I've ever read a story with a poltergeist spoke.
Could be a mixture of both, though.
Like you know what I mean?
Like she could be trying to explain away all the weird shit that her that she knows is
centered around her by learning ventriloquism.
It's like it's like a like a one to combo kind of thing.
Yeah, she wouldn't be the first awkward, isolated and uncomfortable teenager who resorted to
learning ventriloquism.
The number three, the third theory is that it was a shared delusion.
So some people think that the family experienced some sort of collective delusion.
And as things would occur, they would just reinforce each other's beliefs in Jeff over
time.
So like over time, they just everyone was like, that's fucking Jeff.
I mean, I mean, that's also pretty plausible, weirdly enough.
It is, especially since you're isolated.
It's just you three in the house over time.
Like it is there was a story recently about a very isolated family in Australia.
This happened, I want to say, within the last 10 years or so, where they had some kind of
crazy delusion that they all shared.
And then one by one, the family kind of came out of it.
Now, they don't like to talk about it at all.
But during this delusion, they all ran away from their farm and like traveled across the
country.
And that's when they started to fall off.
Like as things got crazier and crazier, the two kids are like, oh, wait, no, this isn't.
Yeah, we're not being hunted.
Well, it's like that Ashley Judd and fucking what's his name movie where they think the
house is full of bugs.
Oh, oh, oh, yeah.
And they fuck another one you're talking about.
I can't remember what it's called.
And all that stuff.
And like they are like he she gets sucked into his like delusions turns out none of it's
real.
It's fucking wild.
Yeah.
I don't know what it's called.
Yeah.
Folly you do.
It's pretty much not the name of the movie, but that's that's the when two people share
delusion.
You know, there's twins from Sweden who went nuts in England and they both ran into the
middle of the road and tried to get hit by cars.
And then one sister was in the hospital and the other one escaped from the hospital and
actually murdered someone.
Jesus.
They were sharing a delusion.
And now the sister who didn't murder someone is living in L.A. and the other sister is
in prison in England.
So yeah, that was possible.
And then number four, the final one we got this one.
I don't I don't know.
It's something Jeff may have been a cryptid or some sort of folkloric spirit cryptid.
I don't know.
I don't think so.
As far as cryptids are notoriously talkative.
Yeah.
Folkloric spirit.
Maybe.
I mean, he does have like a trickster kind of trickster God kind of feel to him.
But I mean, the point of folklore is that it's folklore.
There's nothing I mean, like, I don't think that one is real to me.
The Poltergeist seems the most.
Yeah, I don't buy it.
To me, Poltergeist seems like the most poltergeist or shared delusion would be my.
Yeah.
But then again, the other thing about the shared delusion is didn't didn't you say
other people heard it as well?
Not the talking, but they heard the strange noises and stuff.
They heard unexplained sounds.
But I mean, you're in a farmhouse on an island.
Right.
You know, you're going to hear sounds like, you know what I mean?
But in the end, I mean, I guess we'll never really know.
And who cares?
Like if we don't know, it's a fun, silly story of a talking mongoose that fucked with the
family for almost a decade.
Like it's a fun story.
It's weird.
But yeah, so there you have it.
That is the tale of Jeff the talking mongoose.
How you feeling, Sarge?
What do you think?
Thoughts, feelings?
I'm feeling pretty good.
My poltergeist has joined me.
Hi, Lucille.
How are you, sweetheart?
For those of you who are only listening to this, my dog has decided to crash the party.
She missed me.
I was gone for eight days, so I don't blame her.
I don't know.
I don't think a poltergeist probably makes the most sense to me.
The talking is like the only thing that's kind of throwing me off.
I don't think the shared delusion makes that much sense, only because, like, again, like,
why a mongoose?
OK, so so there you have it.
I think I think we figured it out.
I think it was a poltergeist.
Yeah, I think it's a poltergeist.
I think we solved it.
Case closed.
Yeah, we cracked the case.
We cracked the case in in 38 minutes.
Granted, 10 of those minutes I spent bragging about my trip to L.A., but nonetheless, I
think we cracked the case.
And then let's also say that, like, this is the reason why we're award winning podcasters
is that we we crack.
We get right down to it.
We figure it out.
It was for us.
A lot of this shit would just be unheard of.
I like the rest of you saps just talking about it.
Right.
We fucking solve it.
Yeah, we're boots on the ground, motherfucker.
But for real, I can't believe we won based on who we were up against.
Dude, like I just like who we are as people.
Just I can't believe we won.
I'm so grateful.
All right, Sarge, do you have anything you want to plug before we sign off?
You know, we're getting we're getting close to the election.
So please go to SagesSuperNormal.com by my coloring book to help you ease your anxiety
while we wait for the downfall of our nation.
I'm just kidding.
The downfall happened a long time ago.
Now we're just the smoldering embers of what used to be America.
But still go buy the coloring book.
And I am not in the CIA as much as that gentleman in California insisted upon it.
He is incorrect.
They wouldn't take me because I'm an idiot.
You I feel like you're protesting a little too much, bud, coming off as someone who might
be in the CIA.
Me thinks the lady doth protest too much.
All right.
If you want to follow us on social media, follow us on Instagram at Crypto Cocktail,
TikTok Crypto Cocktail Party.
If you want to follow Sarge on his social media accounts, just look up Sarge the Destroyer
and pretty much any platform and you'll find it.
Yeah, you'll find me.
I'm there.
Please leave a rating and review.
I know we're award winning podcasters, so it doesn't mean anything to us, but it actually
does help a lot.
It definitely helps.
You know, five stars, you know, leave five stars and then just shit talk us in the review.
I think it'd be really fun.
Yeah, that's fine.
That's fine.
You know, we should do is we should make we should make like trophies.
But like just had a like plywood and tin foil.
That'd be really fun.
Yeah, we should make a because I don't think that I don't think they gave out like a certificate
or anything.
So we could just make our own.
Yeah, I'll think of something.
Yeah, leave a rating review, Apple, Spotify, wherever you can.
We have a Patreon, it's five dollars a month.
We don't do anything with it.
It's fine.
It's just to support the show because things are expensive.
You don't have to if you don't want to.
But I mean, like it'd be cool if you did.
It'd be it'd be a lot cooler if you did be a lot cooler if you did.
All right, Sarge, with that out of the way, do you want to say goodbye and I love you
to the audience?
Hey, you guys, I love you.
Even though I'm an award winning podcaster, I didn't forget you.
My name is Jeff.