1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:25,000 Hey, everybody. 2 00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:28,320 Welcome back to another episode of Cryptid Cocktail Party, a show where we have a few 3 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:30,800 jokes, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown. 4 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:34,600 I'm your host Dave, joined as always by my wonderful co-host Sarge. 5 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:35,600 Hey, everybody. 6 00:00:35,600 --> 00:00:37,280 I'm not touching my penis right now. 7 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:38,280 Okay. 8 00:00:38,280 --> 00:00:40,880 And we're also joined by a special guest, my cousin Devin. 9 00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:41,880 How you doing, bud? 10 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:42,880 I'm good. 11 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:43,880 How are you? 12 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:44,880 I'm doing fantastic. 13 00:00:44,880 --> 00:00:45,880 I'm actually very hung over. 14 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:51,340 And I was pretty much beer pressured by these two clowns to go grab beer. 15 00:00:51,340 --> 00:00:52,600 So now I'm drinking again. 16 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:53,600 Thanks guys. 17 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:54,600 I appreciate it. 18 00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:55,600 Anytime. 19 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:57,900 I take no responsibility for this. 20 00:00:57,900 --> 00:00:58,900 This is not my fault. 21 00:00:58,900 --> 00:00:59,900 All right. 22 00:00:59,900 --> 00:01:01,520 So it's I'd all lie solely on Devin. 23 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:05,320 Yeah, Devin, you're a bad influence on your cousin. 24 00:01:05,320 --> 00:01:06,320 That's fucked up. 25 00:01:06,320 --> 00:01:09,640 Oh, as I've been here that our whole life. 26 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:11,120 That's something new to me. 27 00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:12,120 All right. 28 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:16,080 I feel like I can't be a bad influence on my cousin on my cousin because she's 12. 29 00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:18,680 That's the most like impressionable time to be a bad influence on someone. 30 00:01:18,680 --> 00:01:19,680 I feel. 31 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:20,680 No, I couldn't. 32 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:21,680 I couldn't. 33 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:23,240 She is like she is too pure. 34 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:28,000 She's like an extremely good student, very successful. 35 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:33,720 And if I were a bad influence, my aunt would probably have me killed by some shady individuals. 36 00:01:33,720 --> 00:01:35,880 She's very well connected. 37 00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:39,880 You do live in the area where there are probably a lot of shady people that will do harm to 38 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:40,880 you. 39 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:41,880 Yeah, we're not far from Providence. 40 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:43,320 We're not far from Providence. 41 00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:44,320 Yeah. 42 00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:45,320 All right. 43 00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:47,200 Devin, question for you, bud. 44 00:01:47,200 --> 00:01:49,120 Are you like are you a cryptids guy? 45 00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:51,640 I don't think I really don't know that. 46 00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:57,400 I dabble, I don't think I've ever like fallen down a huge hole of like checking them out. 47 00:01:57,400 --> 00:02:01,320 But like I did go to the in Portland, Maine. 48 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:02,320 There's the Cryptid Museum. 49 00:02:02,320 --> 00:02:03,320 Oh, yeah. 50 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:04,320 Yeah. 51 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:05,320 To a stroll through that once. 52 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:09,440 I feel like we need to go to that museum and film some content in it. 53 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:10,440 I don't know. 54 00:02:10,440 --> 00:02:13,960 The person who runs it, I've talked a lot of shit about on this podcast. 55 00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:19,760 So I don't know if I'm sure my pictures probably have like behind a register like I do not allow 56 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:20,760 on premises. 57 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:21,760 Gotcha. 58 00:02:21,760 --> 00:02:22,760 Gotcha. 59 00:02:22,760 --> 00:02:24,400 It's a go in with disguises. 60 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:25,400 Yeah. 61 00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:28,000 I'll just put on a fake mustache over my real mustache. 62 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,000 Exactly. 63 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,000 Hello, sir. 64 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,040 I am here to observe the cryptids, please. 65 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:33,800 Oh, good sir. 66 00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:39,360 No, it's it's run by the fucking Bridgewater Triangle guy. 67 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:40,360 The fuck's his name? 68 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:41,360 Lonnie Coleman. 69 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:42,360 Oh, yeah. 70 00:02:42,360 --> 00:02:43,360 I've already pissed him off, too. 71 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:48,560 Yeah, Devin, we don't make a lot of friends on this show, apparently. 72 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:54,320 I mean, I did it in a completely separate podcast, but he did get very mad. 73 00:02:54,320 --> 00:03:04,640 We had made fun of him extensively because he is a knob and he he sent us an email requesting 74 00:03:04,640 --> 00:03:05,640 that we cite him. 75 00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:06,640 And I'm like, really? 76 00:03:06,640 --> 00:03:08,600 After everything we said about you, you want us to cite you? 77 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:10,920 You got a buddy. 78 00:03:10,920 --> 00:03:13,560 Make sure that everyone knows that you're the knob we're talking about. 79 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:18,000 I guess the good thing that I've already been to the museum now, because now just by association, 80 00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:20,400 I'm probably going to be added to the list. 81 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:21,400 Definitely. 82 00:03:21,400 --> 00:03:24,960 Devin is now blackballed from all cryptid going for it. 83 00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:26,680 All right, guys. 84 00:03:26,680 --> 00:03:30,640 Well, today, I said I got I think I got a pretty good episode. 85 00:03:30,640 --> 00:03:35,760 We kind of touched on this last episode with Matt. 86 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:37,720 We talked about this cryptid in passing. 87 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:41,320 Crypt, Sarge, you seemed like you wanted to dive into it. 88 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:42,320 So I decided fuck it. 89 00:03:42,320 --> 00:03:43,320 We're just going to do it today. 90 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:45,000 You probably don't remember what it is. 91 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,000 Oh, no, I don't. 92 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,000 I don't. 93 00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,000 You made the right choice. 94 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:53,840 I've had I've had a long, long couple of days because it's Labor Day weekend and work has 95 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:55,200 been exceptionally busy. 96 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:59,320 So while I haven't been drunk, I've wanted to be. 97 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:01,920 Well, you're here now. 98 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:02,920 So yeah. 99 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:03,920 You know. 100 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:05,680 All right, guys, let's do it. 101 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:13,560 Today, we're going to be traveling to the great state of West Virginia, specifically 102 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:15,960 the area just north of Fairmount. 103 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:16,960 It's home. 104 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:20,000 It's home to the world famous snack, the pepperoni roll. 105 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,040 Are you guys familiar with the pepperoni roll? 106 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:23,600 Yes, I've had one, actually. 107 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:25,640 I don't think I've heard about it, but I'm intrigued. 108 00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:26,640 It's a big thing. 109 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:30,680 So I didn't know this until I actually went to West Virginia. 110 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:34,520 I had an odyssey with a friend of mine for a TV show that never happened. 111 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:42,480 And we went down to Atlanta to host what could only be described as the saddest award show 112 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:44,600 I've ever been to. 113 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:46,240 It was in a high school gymnasium. 114 00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:47,240 No, auditorium. 115 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:48,240 Excuse me. 116 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:56,200 Anyway, we stopped in West Virginia and these wonderful, like just the coolest people I 117 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:58,520 had ever met, like had us come in their house. 118 00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:05,200 They had like a little fishing shop in their home and they had given us pepper rolls. 119 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:08,080 Pepperoni roll or whatever it is. 120 00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:09,080 Yeah. 121 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:12,720 And it was the most amazing thing I had ever eaten in my entire life. 122 00:05:12,720 --> 00:05:18,320 I got to tell you, if you ever get the chance to go to West Virginia, you have to try this. 123 00:05:18,320 --> 00:05:20,520 They're not all kissing cousins down there. 124 00:05:20,520 --> 00:05:22,520 Some of them are just normal people with good food. 125 00:05:22,520 --> 00:05:24,080 Isn't it just cheese and pepperoni? 126 00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:27,520 Like just cheese and pepperoni in a roll, right? 127 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:30,080 It's essentially a small calzone, but it's so good. 128 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,920 I was just picturing a hot pocket. 129 00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:35,120 Yeah, I saw a picture. 130 00:05:35,120 --> 00:05:37,160 We're not doing it any justice. 131 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:41,960 And to be honest with you, Hot Pocket stole their idea from West Virginia. 132 00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:42,960 Okay. 133 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:45,080 Well, it's so good. 134 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:48,560 We're going to be heading to Fairmount, West Virginia, home of the world famous pepperoni 135 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:53,280 roll and also director and producer Robert Tunnel, whose credits include the Paula Abdul 136 00:05:53,280 --> 00:05:59,740 straight up music video and Colt Troma film, Surf Nazis Must Die. 137 00:05:59,740 --> 00:06:04,000 But as much as I love Paula Abdul and pizza rolls, like we are not here to talk about 138 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,000 them today. 139 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,000 Troma's made some real classics. 140 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:11,280 We're going to be talking about the vegetable man, AKA the veggie man of West Virginia or 141 00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:12,280 either of you. 142 00:06:12,280 --> 00:06:14,040 Oh, I'm so happy about this. 143 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,520 I don't think I've ever even heard of that. 144 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:16,520 Now I remember. 145 00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:18,400 Now I remember us talking about this. 146 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:23,780 And I remember thinking to myself, if there is anything in the world I am completely unafraid 147 00:06:23,780 --> 00:06:25,960 of, it would be Veggie Man. 148 00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:29,480 Because all I can picture is just broccoli with legs. 149 00:06:29,480 --> 00:06:30,520 Dude, just wait. 150 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:31,520 It gets wild. 151 00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:32,800 I'm not going to lie. 152 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:33,800 Yeah. 153 00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:38,080 My first impression off that name is like the Jolly Green Giant that you just like buy 154 00:06:38,080 --> 00:06:39,080 the vegetable can. 155 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:40,080 Exactly. 156 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:41,080 Exactly. 157 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:46,160 Because you I mean, you're kind of far off, but not really that far off. 158 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:52,480 I'm sure the veggie man is like he's like this weird scientific experiment. 159 00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:57,360 And every time you come upon him, he's just like, please kill me. 160 00:06:57,360 --> 00:07:01,560 Or it's like some guy who just kidnaps kids and is like force feeding them vegetables. 161 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:03,960 Like your mom said, eat the broccoli. 162 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:04,960 Now it's time. 163 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:12,560 Just like the most fucked up serial killer he doesn't kill. 164 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:14,080 He just makes you eat vegetables. 165 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:15,080 Well, it's like that. 166 00:07:15,080 --> 00:07:16,080 What's like? 167 00:07:16,080 --> 00:07:19,680 What was it in the movie Seven where he force feeds that guy all the pasta? 168 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:20,680 Oh, yeah. 169 00:07:20,680 --> 00:07:21,680 Not pasta. 170 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:22,960 How dare you call it that? 171 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:23,960 It was spaghetti. 172 00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:24,960 Was it spaghetti? 173 00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:25,960 Oh, yeah. 174 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:26,960 I don't know. 175 00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:27,960 All right. 176 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:32,120 So the story goes that one late afternoon in July of 1968, West Virginia native and 177 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:37,440 U.S. Air Force veteran Jennings Frederick was bow hunting for woodchuck in the back 178 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:39,640 country just outside of Fairmont, West Virginia. 179 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:43,800 And if I'm being honest, that is the most West Virginian sentence I think I've ever 180 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:46,040 written on the show. 181 00:07:46,040 --> 00:07:48,280 And I've written a lot about West Virginia on this show. 182 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:49,280 It paints a picture. 183 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:53,320 You're thinking about the kind of guy we're dealing with today. 184 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:54,320 Yeah. 185 00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:58,960 But but anyways, unable to bag anything, Jennings decided it was probably time to call it and 186 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:01,560 head up back, head back out of the woods. 187 00:08:01,560 --> 00:08:05,960 As he was about to leave, he heard a strange sound that he described as, quote, high pitch 188 00:08:05,960 --> 00:08:10,280 jabbering, much like that of a recording running at exaggerated speed. 189 00:08:10,280 --> 00:08:15,240 So like Alvin and the chipmunks, chip bets kind of, I assume, chattering like or like 190 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:18,400 my 15 year old daughter after a little bit of coffee. 191 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:21,160 Yeah, pretty much like that. 192 00:08:21,160 --> 00:08:24,560 Jennings glanced over to see where the noise was coming from in there. 193 00:08:24,560 --> 00:08:29,400 Standing before him is what some have described as one of the weirdest entities ever described 194 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:30,860 in cryptozoology. 195 00:08:30,860 --> 00:08:37,720 I would describe it as one of the goofiest, but hey, you know, differing opinions, right? 196 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:43,800 Anyways, according to the book Alien Meetings by Brad Steiger, Jennings stated that, quote, 197 00:08:43,800 --> 00:08:49,760 suddenly there it was, a being with semi human facial features, long ears and yellow slanted 198 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:50,960 eyes. 199 00:08:50,960 --> 00:08:53,880 Its arms were no bigger around than a quarter. 200 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:58,920 Its body resembled the stock of a plant in shape and color, for it was slender and green, 201 00:08:58,920 --> 00:08:59,920 end quote. 202 00:08:59,920 --> 00:09:03,840 Such a proper way to describe a cryptotentative. 203 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:04,840 Suddenly there it was. 204 00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:06,760 For it was slender and green. 205 00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:15,320 Suddenly there it was is also how I start every letter I write to Penthouse. 206 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:20,320 He also noticed that this little shop of horrors knockoff had what appeared to be three very 207 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:26,240 thin, seven inch long fingers with the tips ending in what I guess would be like needles 208 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:27,240 or thorns. 209 00:09:27,240 --> 00:09:28,400 I don't know how you would describe it. 210 00:09:28,400 --> 00:09:32,680 He said they were almost like syringe like in shape and like where the first knuckle 211 00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:36,360 on like a human hand would be was like a suction cup. 212 00:09:36,360 --> 00:09:40,320 So like went down suction cup and then coming out of the suction cup was like a thorn thing. 213 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:42,440 Does that make sense? 214 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:46,280 I'm just picturing asparagus. 215 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:49,360 Just some guy with asparagus on the ends of his fingers. 216 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:50,360 It's pretty much. 217 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:51,360 Yeah. 218 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:58,320 But and actually, basically we're picturing Ace Ventura in the second movie when he like 219 00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:03,000 turns around from the buffet table and he's just covered in vegetables and everything. 220 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,400 Yeah, it's pretty much that. 221 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,360 Now, I mean, like, don't get me wrong. 222 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:12,320 Like I would immediately like piss myself if I saw this human sized like stick bug like 223 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:15,560 screaming like one of the Chippettes standing in front of me. 224 00:10:15,560 --> 00:10:21,600 But I feel like as soon as the fear subsided, I could probably take this thing like I'm 225 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:24,280 not like strong by any means, but I could easily fuck this thing up. 226 00:10:24,280 --> 00:10:29,160 I feel if I mean, if I was armed with a bow, I would just immediately be thinking about 227 00:10:29,160 --> 00:10:35,560 like how much lemon and butter I would need to glaze it before I cooked it. 228 00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:39,440 But also like you could just snap it in half like a fucking celery stock because it literally 229 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:40,840 is just a celery stock. 230 00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:42,040 Yeah, it's nothing. 231 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:43,040 It's not. 232 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:44,760 This is not an intimidating monster. 233 00:10:44,760 --> 00:10:45,760 I don't know. 234 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:46,760 Well, luckily, broccoli. 235 00:10:46,760 --> 00:10:51,520 Well, luckily for Jennings, this creature did not attack. 236 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,000 In fact, it did the opposite. 237 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:58,880 Obviously, Jennings is probably feeling a lot of feelings right now as any of us would. 238 00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:02,800 But he managed to calm down and listen to the creature's cries and somehow was able 239 00:11:02,800 --> 00:11:05,980 to decipher what it was that it was trying to communicate. 240 00:11:05,980 --> 00:11:06,980 And I don't know how. 241 00:11:06,980 --> 00:11:10,720 I don't know if he like slowed it down in his head or if like the creature was like 242 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:14,960 telepathically able to give him the ability to like understand it. 243 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:15,960 It's unclear. 244 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:20,120 It was never said how or why. 245 00:11:20,120 --> 00:11:23,480 But what it was saying to him was, quote, You need not fear. 246 00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:24,840 I wish to communicate. 247 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:26,840 I come as a friend. 248 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:28,040 We know of you all. 249 00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:29,680 I come in peace. 250 00:11:29,680 --> 00:11:31,400 I wish medical assistance. 251 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:32,400 I need your help. 252 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:33,400 End quote. 253 00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:34,880 Yeah, no, I got medical assistance right here. 254 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:38,800 See this this pot over this flame? 255 00:11:38,800 --> 00:11:39,800 You should just hop in here. 256 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,160 You'll feel better for sure. 257 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:42,160 I promise. 258 00:11:42,160 --> 00:11:43,160 It's like a hot tub. 259 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:44,160 How are we feeling so far? 260 00:11:44,160 --> 00:11:45,680 We've got the description. 261 00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:48,360 It's clearly emaciated in need of help. 262 00:11:48,360 --> 00:11:50,200 I still want to eat it. 263 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:51,200 I'm still hungry. 264 00:11:51,200 --> 00:11:56,920 I'm literally and even though you've described it, what I'm literally picturing is sentient 265 00:11:56,920 --> 00:11:57,920 broccoli. 266 00:11:57,920 --> 00:12:01,320 Yeah, there's just like artist depictions of this thing. 267 00:12:01,320 --> 00:12:03,960 And it's far more terrifying than that. 268 00:12:03,960 --> 00:12:08,080 But I guess if you're not a salad monster, I just want to cook it. 269 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:09,080 Yeah. 270 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:10,080 Devon, how you feeling? 271 00:12:10,080 --> 00:12:12,360 I mean, so yeah, like like picturing it. 272 00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:15,880 Yeah, it's probably it'd probably be pretty spooky to run into if you're not expecting 273 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:16,880 it. 274 00:12:16,880 --> 00:12:18,600 Yeah, yeah. 275 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:23,560 But like also at the same time, like so he had enough time to like decipher what it was 276 00:12:23,560 --> 00:12:24,560 saying. 277 00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:27,720 And that wasn't a short like sentence or phrase that you translated. 278 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:31,800 It's like now I'm picturing them like just kind of like chilling like you like saw him. 279 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:33,120 He was afraid for a second. 280 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:38,080 Then they're like sitting on some logs, just like hanging out, like trying to like communicate 281 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:42,640 to each other a little bit of charades to like break down the pieces. 282 00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:47,080 It's hard to be it's hard to be concerned about a creature that is a set. 283 00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:49,520 Their greatest foe is Hidden Valley Ranch. 284 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:51,520 You know what I mean? 285 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:54,320 Well, like I said, so the creature reached out to him again. 286 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:59,360 I don't know if like it was telepathically how he was able to like decipher what this 287 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:00,360 thing was saying. 288 00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:01,800 But anyway, so the creature needed help. 289 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:05,200 So Jennings helped the creature the best he could and they became best friends and nothing 290 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:06,960 bad happened after ever. 291 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:07,960 The end. 292 00:13:07,960 --> 00:13:08,960 That's a lie. 293 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:09,960 Just kidding. 294 00:13:09,960 --> 00:13:12,040 Before Jennings could even say anything. 295 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:13,800 I said that not knowing. 296 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:16,800 I was just hoping because that was the end of it. 297 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,320 I was going to be very mad at the salad monster. 298 00:13:19,320 --> 00:13:23,120 No, before Jennings could even say anything in response, this creature pulled a full on 299 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:25,160 Benedict Arnold and betrayed him. 300 00:13:25,160 --> 00:13:29,920 The veggie man whipped one of its long spindly arms in his direction, wrapping wrapping it 301 00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:34,080 around him with incredible strength, leaving Jennings unable to move. 302 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:37,520 And much like Chekhov's gun, those needle fingers with the suction tips I talked about 303 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:40,160 earlier, they're now in play. 304 00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:46,200 It used its thorn like appendages to penetrate Jennings skin, sending in an excruciating 305 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:48,200 pain up his arms. 306 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:52,400 Looking into the creature's eyes, he noticed that streaks of red started to leech into 307 00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:53,860 its large yellow eyes. 308 00:13:53,860 --> 00:13:59,520 The colors began to swirl together, rotating in like a circular pattern, which caused Jennings 309 00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:05,400 like to fall into almost like a hypnotic trance kind of because the shooting pain was almost 310 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,800 immediately gone once like that shit started going down. 311 00:14:07,800 --> 00:14:10,400 I did not expect this to go into full penetration. 312 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,680 Yeah, he's still getting he's still getting drained. 313 00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:14,920 He's getting drained right now. 314 00:14:14,920 --> 00:14:18,120 The worst kind of getting drained, though. 315 00:14:18,120 --> 00:14:23,240 Jennings claimed that even though he wasn't in pain, he could still feel the blood being 316 00:14:23,240 --> 00:14:27,040 drawn out of his body by this flowery phlebotomist. 317 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,520 This is why I don't donate blood. 318 00:14:28,520 --> 00:14:30,160 Yeah, no, we talked about this earlier. 319 00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:31,520 Remember, we're talking about phlebotomists. 320 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:35,040 You get that right vein and you were talking about how you can kind of feel the blood coming 321 00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:36,040 out even like. 322 00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:37,040 Yes. 323 00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:38,040 Yeah. 324 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:39,560 But I feel like this you would feel. 325 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:40,560 How could you not? 326 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:43,040 Because they weren't like needles size. 327 00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:44,920 They were like thorn size. 328 00:14:44,920 --> 00:14:47,120 It sounds like it sucks. 329 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:53,280 So as so like just picturing this as like this like swirling hypnotic gaze in the eyes, 330 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:57,720 though, like is that like the blood that it's drying out of him is like absorbed up into 331 00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:00,480 the eyes and then like turns into an effect. 332 00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:01,900 I have no idea. 333 00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:05,600 But it's weird that it did kind of happen simultaneously with the blood being drawn 334 00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:06,600 out. 335 00:15:06,600 --> 00:15:11,400 I mean, the way they talk about like if it reminds me like the Hypnotote eyes from 336 00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:12,400 Fruturama. 337 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:13,400 Fruturama. 338 00:15:13,400 --> 00:15:16,000 Like that was my first thought. 339 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:20,200 Hypnotote is easily my favorite character by Matt Groening for sure. 340 00:15:20,200 --> 00:15:21,760 Oh, it's brilliant. 341 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:22,760 Yeah. 342 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:28,360 Now, he says that Jennings says that the process he claims only lasted a little less than two 343 00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:29,360 minutes. 344 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:34,960 Then as soon as the creature got like its fill, it released Jennings and then sprinted 345 00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:40,840 up over a like a steep embankment, leaving the hunter standing there stunned and now 346 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:44,480 without the creature's hypnotic gaze in like extreme pain. 347 00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:49,240 Like as soon as this thing looked away from him, like all that pain came shooting back. 348 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:53,600 And along with the returning pain, Jennings felt a swell of panic come over him and he 349 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:57,120 got the hell out of there, as I'm sure any of us would. 350 00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:59,680 What you got to have? 351 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:00,680 Feels a little delayed. 352 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:04,640 Yeah, I feel like that should have been the response before it was close enough to grab 353 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:05,640 him in the know. 354 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:11,040 One of the things that Jennings left out of the story was the raging erection he had as 355 00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:12,120 well. 356 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:16,040 He is a vegophile, so it did. 357 00:16:16,040 --> 00:16:19,480 It did give him like a half job gratification. 358 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:21,340 It took some of his blood. 359 00:16:21,340 --> 00:16:25,440 So it's just a half job, but he's still going to go home and beat it like it owes him money. 360 00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:26,440 I just will see. 361 00:16:26,440 --> 00:16:31,800 I don't know how long how long the like the whole encounter lasted again. 362 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:36,280 Like, I don't know if like he heard the chittering, looked up, saw it, and then the thing like 363 00:16:36,280 --> 00:16:40,760 immediately like fucking got the message across to him telepathically or something. 364 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:44,360 And then because he didn't have a chance to respond to before he fucking got wrapped up 365 00:16:44,360 --> 00:16:46,600 in like ivy or whatever the fuck. 366 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:47,600 Yeah. 367 00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:48,600 Then got drained. 368 00:16:48,600 --> 00:16:53,200 So, I mean, I'm sure the fear was there the entire time, but he was also being hypnotized 369 00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:54,200 by fucking hypnototodized. 370 00:16:54,200 --> 00:16:55,920 I have no idea. 371 00:16:55,920 --> 00:17:02,200 No, as he was racing away from the scene here to low, deep humming sound coming from the 372 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:06,880 direction that like the creature ran off to, he assumed the sound must have been coming 373 00:17:06,880 --> 00:17:10,160 from the creature ship, but he never actually saw UFO. 374 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:12,160 So like, who the fuck knows? 375 00:17:12,160 --> 00:17:16,720 So he immediately went to alien on this one, like just in his mind was like, no, that had 376 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:17,720 to be an alien. 377 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:21,440 There's no way the broccoli monster just lives in the woods of West Virginia. 378 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:22,440 Yeah. 379 00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:23,440 He just immediately assumed. 380 00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:27,680 But it's West Virginia, man, like there's shit fucking going on all over that state. 381 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:28,680 It's a nightmare. 382 00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:29,680 I'm familiar. 383 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:31,200 I did drive through it. 384 00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:32,880 It is a terrifying place. 385 00:17:32,880 --> 00:17:39,120 Those nice, lovely people that I met did not belay my fears because as I was driving through 386 00:17:39,120 --> 00:17:46,040 West Virginia, after I had met those folks, my car was attacked by what can only be described 387 00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:48,600 as baseballs of hail. 388 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:49,600 Oh, yeah. 389 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:51,000 It was insane. 390 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:54,960 I've never seen rain that that bad in my life. 391 00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:58,200 What does it have to do with monsters in West Virginia? 392 00:17:58,200 --> 00:17:59,560 Maybe that's who is throwing the hail. 393 00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:01,840 Well, West Virginia is just a terrible place. 394 00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:03,600 Like don't go there is what I'm trying to say. 395 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:05,240 Oh, you're just saying in general that state. 396 00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:10,680 Yeah, in general, there's a bad things like if that hail is any indication of the kind 397 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:14,080 of creatures they have, I don't want to go there ever again. 398 00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:18,080 You know, like as nice as those people where I never want to go back if I have to deal 399 00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,560 with broccoli monsters and hail. 400 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:21,560 That's true. 401 00:18:21,560 --> 00:18:25,120 I mean, you also got Mothman, Grafton monster, Flatwoods monster. 402 00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:26,120 It's not a safe place. 403 00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:27,120 There's a whole reason. 404 00:18:27,120 --> 00:18:30,800 That's why fallout 76 is placed there. 405 00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:31,800 Yes. 406 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:35,640 Because if you're in West Virginia, you're not surprised when you see a deathclaw. 407 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:37,680 That's phallus. 408 00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:42,920 Now like we see with a lot of encounters like this, like these weird one off either alien 409 00:18:42,920 --> 00:18:48,600 or cryptic sightings, Jennings decided, you know, I'm just going to keep this to myself 410 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:52,240 because the amount of shit people are going to talk about me if I tell this story, like 411 00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:53,240 just isn't worth it. 412 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:54,240 Oh, for sure. 413 00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:55,240 Absolutely. 414 00:18:55,240 --> 00:18:56,240 Yeah. 415 00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:57,240 So that's what he did. 416 00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:58,240 He kept to himself. 417 00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:01,280 He told his friends and families, like friends and family that like the puncture wounds on 418 00:19:01,280 --> 00:19:05,840 his hands were caused by a briar patch and then just like went about his life. 419 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:11,040 It'd be more believable if he was just like, you know, I got some really bad math and. 420 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:14,320 Started picking at his skin. 421 00:19:14,320 --> 00:19:16,320 I tried to fight some kitchen knives. 422 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:22,920 No, but he ended up finding again, like we see very often like like living with the secret 423 00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:25,520 for so long was starting to take its toll. 424 00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:30,820 So he decided to tell his story to author famed paranormal and UFO researcher and one 425 00:19:30,820 --> 00:19:32,200 of the best to ever do it. 426 00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:39,860 Gray Barker, who took his story and published it in his March 1976 newsletter, which brought 427 00:19:39,860 --> 00:19:41,320 this story to the world. 428 00:19:41,320 --> 00:19:45,400 And now I'm telling it here to you to find lovely gentlemen. 429 00:19:45,400 --> 00:19:50,280 Now it's important to note that while Gray Barker is a well-respected, like it was well 430 00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:55,040 respected in the community of like paranormal encrypted research, he was known to be a bit 431 00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:56,560 of a prankster. 432 00:19:56,560 --> 00:20:00,500 So OK, like how true this story is, I have no idea. 433 00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:05,520 But even if it wasn't him that like broke the news or I still would have no idea how 434 00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:09,820 true the story is, because this is the only encounter anyone has ever had with the veggie 435 00:20:09,820 --> 00:20:12,440 man as far as I know. 436 00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:16,760 But it is impossible to be afraid of the. 437 00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:17,760 Yeah, impossible. 438 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:20,040 But there you have it. 439 00:20:20,040 --> 00:20:22,280 That guys is the story of the veggie man. 440 00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:24,040 I'm going to start with you, Devin. 441 00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:25,640 How do you how you feeling about this? 442 00:20:25,640 --> 00:20:26,640 Questions, concerns, comments. 443 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:30,000 Let's open the floor up. 444 00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:34,960 So you actually answered my one question right before this was I was going to ask if there 445 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:39,800 had been any other sightings or like anyone else to like at least back it up a little 446 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:40,800 bit. 447 00:20:40,800 --> 00:20:41,800 No, this is all just make believe. 448 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:42,800 I'm assuming. 449 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:46,520 I don't know how true any of it is. 450 00:20:46,520 --> 00:20:52,160 And like so some people obviously like whole hog believe in this thing. 451 00:20:52,160 --> 00:20:56,560 Others are obviously a little bit more skeptical because it's a fucking Edward Scissorhands 452 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:57,840 veggie monster. 453 00:20:57,840 --> 00:20:58,840 Yeah. 454 00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:06,440 And the reason why, too, is that Jennings guy apparently it's not like. 455 00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:10,840 The first weird encounter he's had with stuff and even his mom, my sex tape. 456 00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:14,800 I guess like weird encounter I've had with stuff. 457 00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:20,680 It had his mom claim she saw like a UFO over a house with like an alien like dangling from 458 00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:23,400 it like I don't know. 459 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:27,800 Just an alien floating around in the UFO hanging brain over West Virginia. 460 00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:33,880 I guess he's hanging out of the UFO like and a fucking what are those things called like 461 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:36,000 a harness just like fucking hanging there. 462 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,000 I don't know. 463 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:38,000 I don't know. 464 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:39,000 But this. 465 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:40,000 Yeah. 466 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:41,000 Like dangling from UFO UFO. 467 00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:42,000 Pretty. 468 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,000 But yeah, no, it's a pretty good. 469 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,000 Sarge, what about you? 470 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:49,360 You got any questions, comments, concerns? 471 00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:54,280 I am not in any way surprised this came out of West Virginia. 472 00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:58,840 Based on my experiences there, this tracks completely. 473 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:04,200 And I think the only thing I'm not surprised about is that there weren't more people with 474 00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:06,320 guns trying to hunt it. 475 00:22:06,320 --> 00:22:07,320 True. 476 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:11,960 Well, I feel like if you had told people right away, then it would have gone down that road 477 00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:15,680 that we see time and time again of just like armed civilians. 478 00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:16,680 Yeah. 479 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:18,680 The villagers coming out of nowhere with guns. 480 00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:20,840 Because those are my favorite stories. 481 00:22:20,840 --> 00:22:21,840 Whatever. 482 00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:26,240 Like I saw a monster than the whole town rallies together to just fucking murder it. 483 00:22:26,240 --> 00:22:27,240 Yeah. 484 00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:28,240 Welcome to America. 485 00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:30,320 If you are a cryptid, you are not safe here. 486 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:35,640 Yeah, no, you will immediately try and get like it's like fucking that GIF of Danny DeVito 487 00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:38,040 is like, so I just started blasting. 488 00:22:38,040 --> 00:22:40,040 It's that over and over again. 489 00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:41,040 Yeah. 490 00:22:41,040 --> 00:22:44,440 But this is giving me like Mantis Man vibes. 491 00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:45,440 Yes. 492 00:22:45,440 --> 00:22:46,440 Like kind of like that. 493 00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:48,240 Are you familiar with the Mantis Man, Devin? 494 00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:49,240 Not really. 495 00:22:49,240 --> 00:22:53,760 I think I recognize the name from my I've probably heard it in passing, but I don't 496 00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:54,760 know any specifics. 497 00:22:54,760 --> 00:22:59,520 Well, apparently you can camouflage like the predator, but also he has the most immaculate 498 00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:01,760 calf muscles you've ever seen. 499 00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:08,800 Just the way the feature to have the way the story was written for the Mantis Man, it's 500 00:23:08,800 --> 00:23:13,720 almost sounded like Sarge said earlier, like like a like a letters to Penthouse is like, 501 00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:16,120 yeah, and it's his strong calves. 502 00:23:16,120 --> 00:23:21,480 You know, the guy who was writing it was literally like he was like mopping his brow while doing 503 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:22,480 it. 504 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:28,040 Like there's a very well worn bottle of Juergens next to him, a pile of Kleenexes. 505 00:23:28,040 --> 00:23:29,320 He is just on it. 506 00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:31,840 Yeah, I say wiping his brow or something else. 507 00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:33,040 It was written one handed. 508 00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:34,040 Yeah. 509 00:23:34,040 --> 00:23:36,840 Either way, there's definitely a one hander right there. 510 00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:37,840 Oh, shit. 511 00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:38,840 All right. 512 00:23:38,840 --> 00:23:40,200 Well, that's the story, guys. 513 00:23:40,200 --> 00:23:41,200 That's our episode. 514 00:23:41,200 --> 00:23:43,240 I appreciate you guys coming on. 515 00:23:43,240 --> 00:23:44,240 There's twists and turns. 516 00:23:44,240 --> 00:23:48,000 You kind of thought I kind of, you know, when I was researching, yeah, I thought he's like 517 00:23:48,000 --> 00:23:49,960 just going to ask for help and then we're going to be friends. 518 00:23:49,960 --> 00:23:50,960 Nope. 519 00:23:50,960 --> 00:23:53,040 He's going to fucking drain you of all your life essence. 520 00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:55,560 So it is like the life out of you. 521 00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:56,560 Yes. 522 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:59,280 From the way the story started, I thought it was like, oh, I ran. 523 00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:02,120 It was just going to be a story of like, hey, I ran into this weird thing, but then it just 524 00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:04,160 went away and we were like we were buds. 525 00:24:04,160 --> 00:24:05,160 Yeah. 526 00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:06,160 Yeah. 527 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:07,160 Yeah. 528 00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:08,160 I know you had to be an asshole about it. 529 00:24:08,160 --> 00:24:09,160 Exactly. 530 00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:13,680 That's what makes me mad is that the thing was like, oh, no, bro, I just need some help. 531 00:24:13,680 --> 00:24:14,960 I just please help me. 532 00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:17,480 I'm going to suck the juices out of you. 533 00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:19,480 It almost also made my sex tape. 534 00:24:19,480 --> 00:24:21,280 I am not the one sucking the juice. 535 00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:22,760 But anyway, you got it. 536 00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:23,760 Yeah. 537 00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:26,720 I think I think it almost would have been better if the creature just didn't say anything 538 00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:27,720 at all. 539 00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,640 Like if it just attacked him, like it didn't give him that false hope of like, no, man, 540 00:24:30,640 --> 00:24:31,640 it's cool. 541 00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:32,640 Cool. 542 00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:33,640 We're cool. 543 00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:34,640 And then fucking proceeded to fright. 544 00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:35,640 I'm not even scared of this creature. 545 00:24:35,640 --> 00:24:38,640 I just think it's a fucking asshole. 546 00:24:38,640 --> 00:24:39,640 Yeah. 547 00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:41,640 It's pretty pretty dick behavior. 548 00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:42,640 Yeah. 549 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:45,200 On this guy's dick behavior is absolutely right. 550 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:46,200 Yeah. 551 00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:47,200 Shit. 552 00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:48,200 All right. 553 00:24:48,200 --> 00:24:49,200 Well, thank you guys so much. 554 00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:50,640 I don't know if you want to plug anything. 555 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:53,640 I don't know if you have something you want to plug. 556 00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:54,640 Not really. 557 00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:59,240 I say I am I am much more of a lurker than anything else when it comes to the Internet. 558 00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:02,280 So I'll just remain in anonymity. 559 00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:03,280 Gotcha. 560 00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:04,560 Expert in camouflage. 561 00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:05,560 Just watching people shower. 562 00:25:05,560 --> 00:25:06,560 I get it. 563 00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:07,560 Yeah. 564 00:25:07,560 --> 00:25:11,200 Sarge, I know you have some stuff you probably want to plug. 565 00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:15,240 You know, just I'm going to keep beating this drum until the election. 566 00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:21,840 Please buy my coloring book 999 at Sages Super Normal dot com. 567 00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:25,760 You can't beat that price with a sack full of bagels. 568 00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:31,080 If you don't like the coloring book, you can just use it as kindling to start a fire or 569 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,720 or don't give it to children. 570 00:25:33,720 --> 00:25:37,840 Just throw it away because if children get a hold of it, it's going to it's going to 571 00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:43,120 answer a lot of conservatives said us liberals are trying to do. 572 00:25:43,120 --> 00:25:50,040 But yeah, please buy my coloring book at Sages Super Normal dot com and use it to calm yourself 573 00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:54,800 down because America is a terrifying place right now. 574 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:55,800 It is. 575 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:56,800 All right. 576 00:25:56,800 --> 00:26:03,160 And then if you want to follow us at a involves an Instagram, a cryptic cocktail, take the 577 00:26:03,160 --> 00:26:04,160 cryptic cocktail party. 578 00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:06,880 We have a Patreon is five dollars a month. 579 00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:10,680 I don't really do much there, but you can, you know, support the show, help us out, you 580 00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:12,640 know, cover some of the costs. 581 00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:13,640 Yeah. 582 00:26:13,640 --> 00:26:21,440 Please just donate some money to pay for this because it's expensive to talk about vegetables 583 00:26:21,440 --> 00:26:23,840 and people. 584 00:26:23,840 --> 00:26:24,840 Inflation man. 585 00:26:24,840 --> 00:26:25,840 Thanks, O'Biden. 586 00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:26,840 Inflation. 587 00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:27,840 Yeah. 588 00:26:27,840 --> 00:26:28,840 Oh, Biden. 589 00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:29,840 All right. 590 00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:30,840 Yeah. 591 00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:31,840 So that's Kamala. 592 00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:32,840 Why not? 593 00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:34,840 Yeah, it's your fault, too. 594 00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:38,400 And you know, let's throw it is Donald Trump. 595 00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:41,200 All politics is all your fault that we're doing this. 596 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:43,280 This isn't a political podcast, Sgt. 597 00:26:43,280 --> 00:26:44,280 All right. 598 00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:45,280 Yeah, exactly. 599 00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:46,280 That's why I'm throwing them all in there. 600 00:26:46,280 --> 00:26:47,440 I want to know what you know. 601 00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:49,440 This is a bipartisan effort. 602 00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:53,080 Yeah, that out of the way. 603 00:26:53,080 --> 00:26:57,080 Devon, would you like to say goodbye and I love you to the audience audience? 604 00:26:57,080 --> 00:27:01,960 I barely know you, but I love you and I hope you lead wonderful lives. 605 00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:03,160 That was too much, Devon. 606 00:27:03,160 --> 00:27:04,920 Just just just the I love you part. 607 00:27:04,920 --> 00:27:07,160 You know, I don't know how to hold it back. 608 00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:08,160 I come on too strong. 609 00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:09,160 I push people away. 610 00:27:09,160 --> 00:27:11,320 You know what? 611 00:27:11,320 --> 00:27:15,240 You're a good person, but you have to remember, we don't know everybody in the audience. 612 00:27:15,240 --> 00:27:19,200 So like we might love them, but we would also frown upon their behaviors. 613 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:42,640 Stop masturbating to the sound of my voice, you fucking weirdos. 614 00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:50,120 Right on.