Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of Cryptic Cocktail Party, a show where we
have a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown. I'm your host Dave,
joined as always by Sarge the Destroyer. Say hello.
Hello. What's up? We also have a very special guest today. This week we are joined by Matt
Shang and for those of you who don't know, he's cohost of the Moth Boys podcast. He also
along with his cohost Mike and Jake coauthored the book of the White Monsters of Sherman,
New York. And they also organized the Cryptid Festivals, Cryptid Bash, as well as Veggie
Manday along with Danner from Conjured Us Designs. And he also has a new book coming out soon
called Wonders of the Void, a study on cryptozoology. That's basically it. Did I miss anything?
That is good. A way to make us seem like lazy shitbags, Matt. Come on, I'm more than that.
Jesus Christ. Why don't you take a break, bro? Save some books for the rest of us to
write. Papazari playing his third book. And I said plantain because it's going to be a
Astro Bonny book. So alien plants I'm tackling next. Astro Bonny? That is awesome. Yeah,
it's fucking sick, dude. I feel bad boosting your ego this early in the show because now
I feel like this is how it's going to play out for the rest of it. I don't know if I
can handle that. I'm a middle child. I got ignored my entire life. So this is this is
perfect. I'm loving it. All right. How are you doing? But speaking of Cryptid Bash, I
know that just happened what? Last Saturday, the 17th. How is number four? So how was it?
Was it was good. It was really good. All the vendors did awesome. We had around 2000 people
throughout the day. Yeah, we had a bunch. All the all the best vendors and artists. Yeah,
we had we had, you know, you had a cryptic Clyde was there. My boy, he's been a guest
on the show a few times. Obviously, Conjuredust was there. I think it was a Bedlam there.
I think he was. Yeah, like pretty much everyone was there. Yeah, everyone was there. And we
had a good time. It rained the last hour. But it was funny. Like everyone, everyone
was already like was was like everyone tore down their tents once it started like started
raining. Daner was like the only one up and he had he had like he had like 15 attendees
around his table underneath this small tent. And he was like telling like a grand story
about cryptids and stuff, because that's that's his thing. Right. Is like he dresses up as
like a camp counselor and he's like a scout. Yeah, like a scout master. Right. And yeah.
And then he just tells stories like people he's he I think next Cryptid Bash, I would
love to have him do like like a like a cryptid campfire tale thing where I was just going
to say like sit around a campfire or something like that. Right. And we can make like a fake
campfire that kind of moves up and down like this and kind of glows and have people like
stand around this fake fire while he tells stories of cryptids. He's he's very good.
Daner would be really good for like if there was ever like he's like he could do like a
YouTube children's show. Absolutely. Like absolutely. Because I met him once. It was at Squonka Palooza
last year I think. Oh how was that by the way? Yeah. He last year was awesome. I had
a blast. That's where I like I met a bunch of people like I met Daner. I met Cryptid
Clyde. I met Bedla. Like I met everyone. They're all super like I still talk to those people
like to this day more so Cryptid Clyde because he his vibe is just everything I ever wanted
in a person. Yeah. He's brilliant. Yeah. But no it was it was really good. There was the
so me Clyde was across from me like our booths and then to the side there was like a anime
I don't want to say studio like artist guy. And I don't think he understood the assignment
of a family friendly family friendly event because he set up these huge boom boxes and
just started playing Wu Tang like as loud as humanly possible. And it was and just drawing
giant squatch sticks. I was going to say is there like some weird hentai. You said anime
and I was like was there like hentai? I immediately it was it was more so the fact that there
was small children around and Wu Tang Clan and old dirty bastard was playing at full
volume. I remember I went in the opposite direction. I was thinking like veiny tentacles.
No it wasn't. No it wasn't that. Liberal parents are the liberal agenda doesn't want their
children to toughen up at a young age. But I think labor laws child labor laws are destroying
this country and I hate free or I hate people restricting freedom. So it's all part of you
know what? Go woke or go broke. You're right. That's on me. I should I should be thinking
outside the box. Yeah. Cool. That's that's that's great. I want to go I want to attend.
It's just it's always so close. And Lisa is just such she's such a kind human and she
really is one of the nicest people. We had her on the show a while back. But unfortunately
we have you know Cryptid Bash and Squonkapalooza are right next to each other. Yeah. So it's
we never end up going. But I think this year I'm going to make it a point to do that. This
year has just been crazy. I'm even all over the place this year. Yeah. I'm doing books
and school and marriage. My fiance and I were planning a wedding and so awesome being a
congratulations. Thank you. Thank you. Being a chicken dad and a turkey dad and doing a
farm and it's it's it's a lot. But I love it. That is a lot. Holy cow. Do you like do
you try to sleep at all? No no no I hate sleep. I mean I have epilepsy too so it definitely
helps that I don't sleep at all. No no famously famously the best way to cure epilepsy is
to stay awake and be stressed. Yeah totally. Yeah. Yeah. Exhaust your brain. Yeah. Yeah
of course. All right guys today we're going to do something a little bit different. First
of all I appreciate you coming on. Love the show. Thank you for having me. Oh you were
talking to forget it. I love my show. Thank you for having me. Yeah I love you. No Matt
clearly you know more about cryptids and the paranormal than I do which probably means
that you for sure know more about it than Sarge. So if if anyone is I mean that's not
really that's not really saying much. Yeah. So if anyone tuning in for the first time
the way the show normally goes that I will find a story and I will read it to Sarge because
he gets a general reaction to it because he genuinely has no idea what I'm talking about.
So finding a story that like neither of you have heard of is proved to be a bit difficult.
So what I did is I compiled three different stories that I'm going to share with you two
lovely gentlemen. All of them are one off cryptid sightings. All of them like as weird
and obscure as I could find some in the US some overseas and hopefully neither of you
are familiar with these stories. But there's a catch. Sarge might know what it is. One
of these stories is a hundred percent made up and it is up to you guys to figure out
which one it is by the end of the episode. Does that sound good. I'm so ready. All right.
Yeah. I think so. There's only one rule and that rule is please don't Google the details
while I'm telling the story because you know what just for you I'm not going to do this.
I'm not going to Google it but I would totally. Yeah I know. I know. That's why I don't trust
either of you folks. I love the easy way out. You know what I mean. Like I'm a I'm a I'm
a follower. What's the point of having Google. What's the point of having Google. And now
they're doing a Google. You don't even have to click on a link. I just kind of pops up
and you know your phone just like I'm pretty sure what he's saying is bullshit. All right.
So that's the only rule. Keep your guesses till the end. You guys are able to you know
you can speculate as we go along. But at the end at the end at the end of the episode I'll
give you guys time to I know discuss amongst yourselves or if you want to choose different
ones it's up to you. OK. OK. Are you guys ready to dive in. Ready. Let's do it. OK.
So our first story takes place in beautiful Lima Peru in the year of our Lord. Nineteen
ninety five. It was after dark on the evening of August 29th when two men named Antonio
Chavez Badoia and Julio L. de Romana were driving down the Pan American motorway with
the windows rolled down listening to Steppenwolf's born to be wild on full blast of course.
Allegedly now when suddenly weird detail to put in suddenly the driver swerved to avoid
something in the middle of the road. The men confused as to what it possibly could be stopped
to get a better look. Standing there in the middle of the road was what the men could
only describe as an alien Christmas tree. They said it was black ish quote unquote strange
being a Martian and that it resembled some sort of bush or shrub said about two and a
half feet tall and had a single shiny golden eye in the middle of what they could only
assume was the head. They also said that it was orbited by what the men described as quote
gold and silver strips almost like garland or tinsel which is how the alien Christmas
tree kind of description came about normally. It's to be expected. Yeah. So at this point
it's kind of cute like a Pokemon almost I feel like it's like it has that kind of vibe
to it. That is until they noticed that there was kind of like a like a twinkle to it. Come
on. It was like Christmas tree lights. And then upon closer inspection they realized
that those twinkles were actually smaller golden shining eyes just like all over the
things. So I had one big guy and then like a bunch of little eyes like all over. So it's
like an eldritch horror kind of thing. Yeah. Tonight it's all bad. It's it's like something
you see in bloodborne. I feel like like one of those like imagine like imagine the amount
of money this thing must spend on by zine. Yeah. That's the first question I thought
of to just buckets. I care. Buckets. No. Like how does it get it. How does it get an appointment
with the ophthalmologist. Like how do you do the eye chart. It's like a hundred times
you got to do it. Don't worry about it. These are the details we need to know though. These
are the things that I need to know about. So the other thing too is that with all these
stories I only get I'm only going to give you the important details. I left out any
like like other deeds. So you're getting just the bare bones of these stories. I didn't
want to make it too easy. Sure. Just the tip just to see how it feels. You got it. So here
we got to we got two dudes driving down the highway. Sure. Come across a tree. Tree has
an eye tree has garland orbiting it. Don't know what that is. And then they'd realize
it has a bunch of smaller eyes. Fucked up. Disgusting. Now the men were only able to
observe the creature for about like a minute tops before a saucer shaped UFO swooped in
like out of nowhere and was just like hovering above their truck. In this instance the guys
were like fuck this and got out of there as quick as possible. They don't know if the
tree like got on the ship if the tree like was abducted by the ship or even if the two
were connected in any way. But I mean like come on you can't see an alien Christmas tree
in the middle of the road and assume that it's not associated with the right. Right.
Right. Yeah. No I mean these aren't these aren't like two random events. Yeah. They
have to be connected to each other. Fucking wild. So I want to live in the world where
they are two random events that happen concurrently. But I mean that happens. Like there was like
yeah like in Pennsylvania there was like was like the UFO Bigfoot like a bunch of UFOs
and Bigfoot were seen like all around one time like even like a bat squatch I guess
at one point was seen in Pennsylvania during the flap thing. Like so it could happen but
I don't think this is that scenario. Hopping off that that Bigfoot the PA UFO Bigfoot flap
there was actually a story of the beach six landing in Presque Isle in Erie Pennsylvania
and there was a UFO that landed on a beach and or like in this tree line in a beach and
later on a Bigfoot was seen coming out of the woods like a hairy ape and it like attacked
this car filled with teenagers making out or whatever whatever they were doing. I think
I do know that story. Yeah. And I almost covered it one time. Super cool. And it's it's literally
like 35 minutes away from me. I don't want to like derail the conversation at all but
I I'm gonna I feel like there is definitely there is definitely a connection to the to
the UFO the tree. No no no to the to the UFO. Well yes I hope there is otherwise you put
that in there for no reason. But no between Bigfoot and aliens I feel like there's a connection.
I've heard a couple of theories about it and there could be a connection. You're speaking
my language. Long time listeners of the show know that I am not the biggest proponent of
Bigfoot. Yeah I'm not 100 percent convinced. But I don't think it's if it does if Bigfoot
does exist I don't think it's alien. I want to believe that it is a just a terrestrial
like it's just here. And OK because I feel like the reason why I'm going to derail this
real quick is that we have derailed. Yeah. The reason why I welcome America. The reason
why I think that is because I feel like the invention of the theories of like it's an
alien or it's interdimensional is because no one can come with like conclusive evidence
of it. So like well you can't find conclusive evidence because it's interdimensional. The
bodies go back to wherever dimension they're from or the aliens come and pick them up.
Like yeah I think I feel like those are just excuses as to why no one's found conclusive
evidence. It's the same thing that people do with religion. Is that like a shitty thing.
I know it was interdimensional. That's what it is. It's got his interdimensional. That's
just how I feel. Jesus was abducted by aliens. I feel like they just it's like the moving
of the goalposts to be like well we haven't found any bodies because they transport back
to wherever they're from or the aliens abduct that re-abduct the bodies. So that's why there's
no bones or whatever. The thing is we don't have any conclusive evidence of Bigfoot but
I like that your stopping point is like no there's no way there could be aliens. There
could definitely be a large ape man that people have been talking about for a while that we
can't ever find and the only photos we have of it are blurry but hold on. No spaceships
involved. So you're on the side of all the like dress up in military garb with an AR-15
and like go hunting Bigfoot. No no I do not. I don't want. They're that kind of person
where they're like it's flesh and blood. It couldn't be anything else. What are you talking
about? No I'm just saying I don't I don't I want it to be flesh and blood. Dave I'm
going to cancel you right now. I'm not saying. All right how many tiki torches do you own?
Don't lie to me. No okay but for real though. You know what sucks is that I just shaved
my head today so now all these fucking things. Oh no. Oh god now I'm going to get cancelled.
Evidence with evidence these stories you know people seeing Bigfoot in association with
UFOs and like glowing orbs and all this paranormal stuff. I think I think truly scientific minded
people would be open to all suggestions until. I'm not saying I don't see I am open but here's
the thing I don't really believe in Bigfoot so I'm not going to entertain any of them.
That's fine. No I don't. All this or any of this could be fake whatever. Can we move on
to the next story. Yes Christmas tree. Sorry. Yeah sorry sorry. This is my fault. This is
my fault. Christmas tree is over moving on to the next story. So the next story brings
us to the great state of Maine but like the shitty part of Maine. It's like northern Maine
where like the it's a Canadian border where the towns don't have names. It's like designation
B five seven dash two like you know what I mean. Like four people live there and it's
terrifying to even venture into. But specifically we're going to we're going to be going to
the DeBooley Public Reserve land which is this. Oh I love it. Yeah it's described as
literally every other national park so I'm not going to bother you with the details.
Like have you ever been in the woods. Yeah it's got trees. There you go. Yes. Like that's
OK. Anyway it's a no. This story goes that on the evening of October 23rd 2016 Forest
Ranger Sarah McClain awesome name was heading into the woods for a routine patrol for the
evening as she moved deeper into the forest she claimed she began to feel what she described
as quote an unusual pressure in the atmosphere. Simultaneously she also started to hear a
faint high pitching pitch pitch. Oh my God. A high pitched buzzing sound that sounded
as if it was like coming from all directions. She thought she initially thought it was like
a like an insect and I think like a cicada kind of sound. But it was October. I don't
think you want me to do an impression of that sound for all the listeners. Pretty please.
Yes. I have never wanted anything more in my life. Oh you changed pitch. That was good.
Well done. That was a good sound. I like that there were multiple notes in that song. Yeah.
That's the vocal range of an angel my friend. You're already more musically capable than
machine. Yeah. She she later recalled the sound as quote it wasn't like anything I'd
ever heard before. It wasn't just a sound. It felt like it was inside me vibrating through
my bones and the deep in my sex tape deeper. I went into the forest. The louder it got.
Now what I have to say to that is just don't go deeper into the woods Sarah. Like why the
fuck would you hear this vibrating your bones and be like you know I'm just going to keep
going. I feel like 90 percent of our episodes could be avoided if people just saw something
weird and just left. Yeah. I would suck. Oh it's weird here. I don't want to be here anymore.
Now anyways she she said the sensation she felt was hard to describe like the buzzing
seemed to distort the air around her which I guess would make the pressure changing make
sense. Then I got sonic vibrator. Yeah. Then out of the corner of her eye she got just
a hint of movement. She turned to see what all the hubbub was about and that's when she
saw whatever the fuck this thing is standing there. She saw a figure that was at least
seven feet tall with an emaciated body. Its skin was pale and tight with strange patches
of like different tones and textures almost as if it was like stitched together from different
like skin sources. Its face was completely featureless like Slender Man but this is way
fucking gnarlier. So like Jared Kushner. Yeah. But but even without having. Oh no I meant
expressionless expression. I was thinking especially like there's no life in his face.
That was my mistake. But even with that without having eyes she said that it kind of like
turned toward her as if it was like looking at her. But the worst part about all this
besides the fucked up features is like the way it moved. She said it didn't walk. It
seemed to flicker in and out of sight like lots of herky jerky movements and like Sarah
is just standing there frozen in fear because yeah dude like obviously. So it's like every
late 90s early 2000s horror movies. They just like sped up the frame. Jacob's Ladder. House
on Haunted Hill when all when all the nurses were fucking. Yeah the shaky thing. Yeah it
works and it creeps me out. Yeah. She said that it quote it was like watching something
glitch in and out of existence. One second it was there and the next it would disappear
only to reappear a few feet closer. But it never felt like it was walking towards me.
It was just shifting and quote. Well luckily Sarah wasn't paralyzed with fear for long.
She finally regained her. I wrote composure but I don't want to say that because I feel
like you're not composed no matter what you do in the scenario. But you know not at all.
But she was finally able to like get the fuck out of there and just like hoofed it back
down the trail as fast as she fucking could. Luckily for her she said that buzzing sound
faded as she ran. So I don't think like it was following her. But she did say that quote
I've never run that fast in my life. I didn't stop until I was at my truck and even then
I felt like it was still watching me. So as far as I know as far as I know this is the
only sighting of this thing that I could find and I found a couple of stories written about
it and the name of it is either severed kin or flesh skein flesh scheme no skein s k i
e n e i n. So somebody so somebody who doesn't have a mastery of English named this. Well
it sounds like fucking like Norwegian. Yeah. I don't know. Anyways that's all there is
for that one. So how are we feeling about this story. We've got two stories so far.
We've got the Christmas tree the flesh skein or the severed kin whatever you fucking want
to call it. It's up to you dealer's choice. How are we feeling so far about Christmas
tree and flesh guy. Yeah both. There is in general how's life going. I like it. I think
the second one. Yeah I like the Christmas tree one. The second one is really cool. Really.
Yeah. The the the the the second one does sound like a horror movie. So I'm still I'm
kind of like right. OK. This might be some creepy pasta stuff. I have a I have a quick
question. When did this. Do you know what year this happened or when it was posted or
whatever. The story happened in October on October 23rd 2016. I wonder. And it was in
the the bully public reserve land in northern Maine which I looked up. It is a real place.
That place does. I wonder. I wonder if she's experienced anything since then because I
was thinking like what if it's like the it follows thing and like it slowly kind of follows
you is kind of like slowly following you for an eternity. It follows is such a good horror
movie too. So good. I know I said I'm not going to give any more details than what I
put in the stories but there was like other things where I said like over time she did
kind of like like stuck in her mind kind of thing like and she had to go to like therapy
with like all this. Like I think at one point she said she saw a priest to kind of try like
yeah. And like was was the thing I like about that story though is that Maine isn't really
known for a lot of like one off cryptic sightings. I feel like there's not a shit ton of them
there. Like you've got like the Spectre moose of Maine which is really just a ghost moose
and then well the woods devils New Hampshire. But like you know there's not like a lot of
shit in Maine. So that's why I like that one and us me and Sarge being both from New England
I was like fuck it. This is getting in right. All right. Are you guys ready for our last
story. I'm ready. I need to know it. Well do you guys have theory so far. Yeah I think
which one. So let's go. So like theories as in you said one was fake. All right. Do you
want. Yeah. Do you want that or do you want that after the third one. I'll give you after
the third one. But I like yeah you know it was we'll read the last story then we'll go.
OK yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. All right. So our last story it's a bit of a shorter one
but fun nonetheless I think so also named my sex tape. Nice. I was just going to say that
he gets me he gets so I get you. I got you for this for this story. We're traveling to
Thailand. We're on the morning of August 31st 2005 10 residents of a small farming village
about four hundred and eighty eight miles north of Bangkok saw what they described as
a small yellow humanoid figure hovering above the rice and lemongrass fields that at the
time were owned by a man named I'm going to butcher this tea kit Kang Boon close enough.
I'm sure it's like yeah the first witness and my favorite witness of this whole story
was a 51 year old man named so Wang bun ratchet who I'm just going to refer to as bun moving
forward because I like it. That's cool. That's a lot. So yeah. So bun and I love him for
this and we see this a lot with cryptic stories. He prefaced his retelling of the encounter
with the reassurance that he was in fact 100 percent completely sober at the time of his
encounter which I would hope so because he said that he witnessed this thing around 830
in the morning. You're not you're not doing good. You know if you're. Yeah. The worst
part is though you're not doing good if you're the kind of person who has to tell people
you were sober at 830 in the morning. I'm not drunk this time. He was he was biking
past the field when he spotted what he thought was an automated scarecrow in the field. Upon
looking closer he realized that this thing was indeed not the latest in AV and deterrent
systems but advanced an actual living creature. He's got automated scarecrow money. I like
how most people know so little about Thailand that he just had to be like oh it's it's four
thousand miles away from Bangkok because it's the only place anybody knows. Yeah. Yeah.
The hovering quote unquote scarecrow looked over at bun gave him a knowing nod and then
stared right at him with large dark blood red eyes. The witness said it looked at him
with an imploring gaze as if it was in need of some sort of assistance. But my dude was
like fuck that shit and rolled off to tell the other villagers what he was seeing. Let's
go fuck this dude up. Let's get our pitchforks. Come back with some pitchforks. Let's clean
this up. Dude's like please I need help. I'm bleeding bad. And he's like yeah no don't
worry about it. But upon upon upon hearing like upon the other villagers hearing what
he had seen several villagers including Bun's friend so why. Bun Yalik henceforth known
as Boon because I don't want to say those things over and over again. Race to the field
to catch a glimpse. Boon later told reporters that the entity was about 70 centimeters high
or roughly two foot three inches in American. It had yellow skin a flat chest and a very
small mouth. It had a big old bald head with big red eyes and large ears and no. No last
which is I'm getting very turned on right now. No. Boon said that him and the other
villagers watched this floating like Dr. Seuss character come to life just kind of like wander
about the field like he was just like this thing was just like floating around out of
care in the world just fucking hanging out for like about an hour. Now I don't know what
they did after. I assume they were just like well we got jobs. He's not hurting anyone.
Let's just let him be. This is just how we live now. And they all just went about their
day. The entity was last seen at around 1030 a.m. by a villager named Kamab in Simon who
said he watched a quote unquote floating child just kind of hang out then stretched like
a piece of saltwater taffy turned jet black and then take off into the sky like a rocket.
What the fuck. There's a bunch more to the story like like how once the news broke hundreds
of people a day came to the village and like fucked up all of their roads and stopped through
all of their fields and basically just like ruined everyone's livelihoods just to kind
of get like a glimpse at this thing that was already gone. But we can get into that later.
But anyways there you have it. That is the Scarecrow of Thailand and that is our third
story. So now it is up to you two to decide which one of these three stories did I 100
percent make up. I have to say it's the second one. Same.
Second one. It sounds like a creepy pasta that someone would write. Yeah it really does.
And the thing is with the like the jerking motion of like the no one describes it like
that until those movie came out until those movies came out. Her her herky jerky was my
that's his poor name actually. That's your sex tape. Herky jerky. It's just me alone
flying. Yeah I'm like I'm like 70 percent. You crying holding a bag of jerky. Yeah. Just
Jack. Yeah. Just snacking on Jack. You usually got to pay good money to watch that kind of
thing. Someone eating jerky in a dark room crying. Well just fucking just just full on
punishing. No I got to say it's the second one. I'm like 70 percent sure it's the second
one. So herky jerky. It was the herky jerky. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's the herky jerky.
All right. You guys ready for the results. Go. Yes. That's correct. Fuck. I thought I
got you with that one. I thought it was pretty good. I feel like you didn't describe the
the modern horror movie. I have I it would have died. I have described herky jerky to
you on several episodes. Yeah but you made it sound like it was moving and yeah I don't
know the way you described it if you had not said that this would have been a much more
difficult decision. Yeah I did describe it the same way there's that one scene in the
the Twilight Boy Batman movie when he's like going down the hallway and they were shooting
the guns and every flash of the muzzle flash. Yes. I did describe it like that and I'm sorry.
That's what I thought. I thought I thought I did really know you did. Hey honestly you did good.
You did. Hey you did a great job. You did so honestly I thought that one was going to get
you because I assumed interdimensional would have been like a big thing you'd be like that's
got to be it. That's got to be it. But I do think Boone was interdimensional. Boone Boone's
fucking out of that one. I love that story. That one. Are you talking about the floating
scarecrow floating scarecrow. Yeah. You know what almost you know what almost gave up the
floating scarecrow for me and I was going to switch over as I was like how many people in
Thailand know what saltwater taffy is. Again I these are my words. Right. Right. But in my head
I like briefly thought about that. I was like how many are they really just munching down on saltwater
taffy in the 400 miles from Bangkok. I wonder where saltwater taffy was created. Was it like a like a jersey kind of trash thing?
We covered this. We talked about this. Yeah actually. So it was it did it did come about from New Jersey
and it's a joke. There's no actual saltwater in the taffy. What happened is there was like a hurricane that hit
Atlantic City and this is like a little boy goes to this flooded candy store the next day. The guy's like standing in like
knee deep water and the little boy's like hey you have any candy. And the guy's like yeah I got saltwater taffy because everything is flooded with saltwater.
So from what I understand that's where the term came from and then it just stuck. I mean that's pretty good.
I guess the jersey thing because it just seems like it would come from Jersey. That's what surprised me because like
I've never been to the Jersey shore so I didn't know if they had it but like you go to Cape Cod
saltwater taffy is like. So yeah that's uh that's the episode. Matt. Matt. Hi. Hey what's up. Before we
sign off I want to talk about like obviously like what you want to plug but you got your new book coming out and I'm going to be 100%
honest with you. I don't know what half the title means. Okay so um I've. Yes please please plug your upcoming library.
So I used to be a huge fan of all those like um those like alien biology shows that were on like
the Discovery Channel in the 90s. Yeah. Did you watch um did you watch Netflix alien worlds? Yeah it's
fucking great. Did you watch that? No one talked about it. I loved it. It was one of my favorites. Yeah. No one talks about it and I think it's so good.
There was one where I thought it was kind of a cheap thing where it's like they had the one creatures on the hot side
of the planet and like the creatures on the cold side of the planet are the same but with. Yeah yeah.
Really? They really didn't try with that one. They did not try with that one at all. But like like speculative biology
it has oh it has been like since I was a kid like I have a a deep love and appreciation for science
evolutionary science um actually writing this book uh made me want to go back to school. Drove you further away from God.
Yeah I haven't been close to God since I was 13. Um I mean one really only needs to look at the giraffe to
recognize that there was no intelligent design there. Yeah you look at that that monster.
Um but it yeah I I've been I've been uh I've been wanting to write something like this like I
I uh was like probably 10 years ago I started writing a book about uh Bigfoot like culture
and how they would evolve uh socially and biologically um. Oh very cool. So you're so
so you're behind this the screenplay of uh Sasquatch Sunset or whatever the fuck that. Yeah I uh so our
plan we're we're gonna be actually we might be interviewing the director. I haven't seen it yet. I I heard it was great.
I haven't watched it yet. But the thing is is uh so it's a book about cryptids um assuming that uh
cryptids are aliens and so I take so astrobiology is for folks who don't know um is the study of uh
uh life elsewhere in the universe and here on earth actually. But um yeah but it's taking what
we know about biology and evolution and applying it to other worlds. Um especially the worlds that
I place these cryptids on are known moons and planets. Besides one Veggie Man's planet I had to make up.
Uh and I called it I called it Flutolux and I created its its history and its plants and its atmosphere.
Um Flutolux sounds like either an off-brand like whole grain cereal. Like an Aldi version of
Froot Loops. Yeah yeah. Or it sounds like it sounds like something that you'd hear back to the future
when they're trying to repair the Delorean. The flux capacitor Marty. Like oh no the Flutolux has
gone down. The Flutolux has gone down with the flux capacitor cannot get up to 88 miles per hour.
But this is my love letter to um biology and cryptozoology um and just space. Um so it's really
it's science heavy um but it's if you aren't savvy to all of that you'll still have a lot of fun. It's
very creative. What kind of what kind of research do you do like when you go to like when you when
you look at a planet or like a moon or something like that obviously you have to look into like
what kind of like atmosphere it has. What kind of like geological like geographical all that kind
of stuff. Like what kind of research do you have to do to find out about those to make sure that
your hypothesis of how certain cryptids would evolve there to become what they are today.
Does that make sense? What I'm trying to ask. Yep yeah absolutely. Um so I
so I studied a lot under actual science. That was a heavy sigh. I'm sorry for asking. No no no no no
no no no that wasn't a no. So I studied under a couple of scientists and uh I did I've read books
and books and books uh and it was about a year of study to write this book of just like reading
books and watching docs and like listening to lectures. Um so it's it's been a long time coming.
Um and I just haven't had the time uh to write it and started and uh yeah it just it it felt so
natural writing this that I want to continue this series. Um and and and I don't think I think it's
something super unique to the cryptid world because no one has ever touched on this stuff.
No one's ever thought no one's ever wrote about this. You know it's plenty of people have talked
about it. I'm actually super hyped on this because I didn't know the details. I want to read it. Like
this I didn't know what this book was like fully about uh but now that you're describing it like
when I fall asleep at night this is a weird way to start a sentence. I can't wait for your book so
I can fall asleep with it. No like I watch documentaries because I have to have the TV on.
Yeah me too. To fall asleep because I lived and live in the city so like noise and sound is always
like something I always needed and I'll always watch documentaries about either like the super
deep sea to see fucked up fish or like uh angler fish or outer space documentaries. Like I'll watch
like uh there was this there was a series that was kind of like planet earth but it was planets
and it was voice the voiceover was done by uh Spock from the new Star Trek movies. Oh sweet.
Uh that tells you all like like how the planets reform like and it goes through each planet of
the solar system and then like I uh I watched uh the one what did we just talk about? Oh uh the
alien alien worlds. Like so now that I know that this is going to kind of combine everything that
I love into one kind of like thing including cryptids like this is I'm fucking. Yeah astrobiology
absolutely fascinates me. I just love the concept. Right and you'll you'll love you'll you guys will
love this. It's it's it's uh speculating the biology and the life of these cryptids on different
worlds and um yeah you're gonna really love my the the flatwoods monster because it involves earth's
ocean and I you're gonna you're gonna dig on that one. It's really cool. How did you like did you
pick a cryptid and then like kind of reverse engineer it and then kind of reverse engineer
how it would have started and then pick up planetoid or a planet or a moon based off of like
how you reverse engineered it or you're like you know what fucking this planet looks cool. I'm
gonna put this cool cryptid with this planet and then just make it work. So what I did was I looked
at the characteristics of each cryptid and me being just like a nerd about space I thought of
a planet where so like I have at night I think about a lot of this stuff it goes through my head
just like you and um and I was like yeah I just was like hey this cryptid could live on this due
to these characteristics like say you know an atmosphere's gravity or how much water is on a
planet or if there is water you know one of the cryptids I talk about is is chemosynthetic so it
feeds it feeds off of it feeds off of gases and chemicals and non-living materials. Gotcha. And
so I think about you know the worlds first and then I take the cryptids and apply them to the
worlds and and it and it worked it just worked out so oh my god oh I want to just talk about
dude the Mothman chapter is gonna be fucking mind dude it's gonna be mind-bending it's totally trippy
now all of this all of this is based is speculative in science it's all based in science and science
theory but it's speculation because it's cryptids yeah obviously so people will enjoy it but also
it's uh there's gonna be illustrations in the book I didn't write down the illustrator's name but I
saw the uh I saw the concept art for the uh the grafted monster that you posted looks fucking sick
uh who's who's the illustrator again I'm sorry the illustrator is the amazing uh Jason Schlossman
and uh fantastic fantastic dude um and uh yeah I mean he he busted he busted them out real it was
like significantly quick but they were so beautiful um it's going to just add so good wicked talented
um now is the is the art is the artwork that you posted is that going to be the cover that like
satellite dish and then like the oh the cover the cover I'm going to release it's it's uh it's going
I'm going to I'll tell you I'll tell you the cryptid that's on the cover it's veggie man but it's a
very okay unique rendition of veggie man I think a lot of people will enjoy it I'm not gonna lie
the the the illustration you posted when you like announced your book uh with the the satellite dish
in the forest and the old it it looks like a power violence album cover like it could be like it looks
like it looks like well you could use that as like a nails yeah right right like cover art
that's a drop the old english font really and it it's a drop dead riff or it looks it looks like
that and I love it dude and uh all right so now I'm even more hyped to see what the veggie man
will looks like but I'm super hyped on this man yeah thank you um let's see what else what else
you got what else you got going on you got the book you you already released a book with your
with your compatriots and uh the moth man the moth boys white monsters the white monsters of
sherman new york yep and we uh we uh we did that we did that a while um oh gosh what is it it's
probably two years now it was almost a year ago no I feel like it was like last year might have been
last year I don't know time's weird it's made up I'm gonna be 100% honest with you I didn't I didn't
read it yeah really it's so it's so it's so short it's so short you know what I mean like
it's not well it's not that I can't read it I just don't I don't I don't want to
no I did I have so many books that I haven't read yet yeah they're mostly true crime and they're
sometimes sometimes story of my life just like dude they're just so boring like I bought killers
of the flower moon which is really good I got like halfway through that I was like this is
droning as fuck and then I tried to watch the movie and I was like this movie is way too long
I used to dude I used to read true crime books and dude it fucked me up so I was like I stopped I
now and now I'm just reading I'm just reading like fucked up history books like I started reading uh
what was the one about the uh the Donner party oh yeah yeah that's the the the the the the the
indifferent stars above that book fucking rules yeah and it's like way easier to read it's way
more fun they cover the weirdo stuff yeah it's taken from like the journals of like people that
were there so it almost reads like uh I'm not gonna say like world war z but like it's kind of
like that where like it's journalistic stuff and also like all like whoo that is a solid book read
fucked up history books don't read true crime like the the Diatlov past book yeah was is really
fucking good like that stuff is where it's at if you guys true crime it's if you guys liked uh um
um oh gosh if you got liked world war z check out max brooks other book deevolution it's uh it's a
you know I just I just found out that max brooks is fucking mel brooks's son oh yeah yeah like no
one was gonna fucking tell me that well they made like a few out of it when he when he released the
book I had no idea that's fucking wild like that's fucking wild yeah it's crazy there's his book
it's called deevolution and it's um about this community living up on uh mount saint helens and
the town and the and the the the volcano erupts and it it it kind of secludes this town and bigfoot
who are fucking pissed off from the mount the mount exploding come and attack the town
and it's fucking awesome oh yeah dude it's so good I'm reading the fuck out of that that's awesome
you know as wild as I just watched like three documentaries in a row about the mount saint
helens explosion because I don't I don't know why it's the most like interesting it's a volcanic
explosion to me especially because there's one guy named harry truman who lived on a lake right
outside of it and he he was like yeah if I just you know if it erupts I'll just I'll just walk
faster than the lava and then he didn't realize that pyroclastic flows were a thing just got
fucking devastated and then but every time I watched the doc like every like he's in he's
in every single one of the documentaries and every single time he would get brought up I was like
do you guys watch bob's burgers at all yeah uh the when they're when when uh she's singing the
songs like where is harry truman he's dead in the ground he's dead in the ground like that's all I
can think about watching this like anyways matt we've come to the end of the episode I want to
really thank you for coming on it's been a long time coming yeah I feel like this should have
happened probably sooner but schedules and you have a farm with chickens and now you have two
cats that are named what is it uh golem and schmiegel yeah yeah we found a cup someone ditched a
couple cats on the side of the road and we picked them up and nursed them back to health and so now
we have four cats we're getting we're getting sheep in the spring and holy shit yeah yeah dude
I just want to come live I just want to like yeah I just want to camp in your backyard just for like
dude we got we got nine acres we got nine acres just just crash up anywhere you know done my wife
would lose her mind if she was on a like a farm with just like goats and chickens and like first
she'd be all about it but yeah I mean honestly guys if you're ever in the area western New York
is beautiful um and uh no I know I've been I've been out there a few times yeah uh I absolutely
love yeah yeah I love upstate and western New York it's beautiful totally is all right matt
plug your shit where can people find you where can people do all your stuff like what do you got
moth boys you can uh the the it's a comedy it's a comedy thing it's about cryptids and
paranormal and it's it's bill gates bill gates said that it was the best podcast I've ever listened to
so you know if you love if you love billionaires you're gonna love moth boys um if you like dead
billionaires you're gonna love billionaires and vaccines check out our podcast um but you can
listen to us anywhere uh anywhere anywhere except youtube we got faces for for radios not for cameras
anyway you think if i you had uh at moth boys on instagram at moth boys podcast and then uh my
personal is uh matthew x shang uh on instagram and i am not straight edge obviously i'm on the show
with these two so um all right gang i i had a blast thank you for having me on yeah yeah yeah
uh all right and with that uh make sure you follow us on instagram at cryptococktail follow us on
uh tick tock cryptococktail party and with that sarge would you like to say goodbye and i love
you to the audience yeah i'm also an author oh yeah what you're an author it's mostly pictures
it's mostly pictures it's almost all pictures sorry coloring book you can go to us
sarges supernormal.com get my coloring book for 9.99 and um take out your frustrations with being
a human being in 2024 on with crayons i love that um don't punch walls it is in there is there is no
ab absolutely no literary value to this book uh and that was the goal all along um and uh we thank
you for coming on matt and uh we love you our listeners we love you all anytime anytime anytime
i'm gonna hold you there night yeah hit me up if you want to cry with me if you want to just talk
whatever um i'll do that when i'm having a herky jerky moment just breathe heavy into the all right
all right bye everyone goodbye bye