1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:27,540 Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of Cryptic Cocktail Party, a show where we 2 00:00:27,540 --> 00:00:31,240 have a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown. I am your host, 3 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:35,160 Dave, and joined as always by the beautiful Sarge the Destroyer. What is going on? My 4 00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:38,400 beautiful liberal satanist slash love doctor. 5 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:45,720 I'm much better podcaster. You cut to your weirdo. Hey man. Hello. What up? 6 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:50,120 Oh, nothing. It is hot as fucking balls in here, but how you doing? But I know we didn't 7 00:00:50,120 --> 00:00:54,680 get to, we didn't get to talk last week. So this is a, I know, I know I'm very bummed 8 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:59,080 out, but my mom was down, had a show. No, no, that's fair. That's fair. I don't, I 9 00:00:59,080 --> 00:01:05,800 totally understand. That's a, that's an important thing to deal with. My parents live in this 10 00:01:05,800 --> 00:01:12,880 city, so I see them pretty regularly, but I get it. I get it. I see it like once a year. 11 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:17,200 So yeah, it's important. It's important. Then I do like the touristy shit. Like she's been 12 00:01:17,200 --> 00:01:20,440 here before, but for some reason she really wanted to see the Liberty Bell. And I was 13 00:01:20,440 --> 00:01:25,720 like, I don't think you understand. Like it's not that cool. Like, yeah, it's not the kind 14 00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:30,120 of crack you might be thinking about. No, but it was like, you stand in line for a half 15 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:37,560 hour in the sun just to literally walk into a building, look at a bell and then leave. 16 00:01:37,560 --> 00:01:41,120 You're like, that was, that was it. Yeah. I mean, I guess if you've never seen it, it's 17 00:01:41,120 --> 00:01:46,760 whatever. But to be honest, like it's not even the original bell. Like the, you know, 18 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:50,520 like the, but whatever. But how you doing buddy? You're looking good. I know you went 19 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:55,400 and saw fucking Metallica last night and you're going again. I know. No, it was a Friday night 20 00:01:55,400 --> 00:02:01,840 and I'm going again tonight. No one knows when it's incredibly hot. So it's incredibly hot. 21 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:09,160 So I'm going to have multiple rags on me to soak up the sweat because I am a fat guy and 22 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:13,360 fat guy sweat. I told my wife, you were going to see Metallica, Gillette tonight. And she 23 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:16,760 was like, it's too hot to see fucking anything at Gillette. She was like, I remember when 24 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:20,840 Warped Tour was at Gillette stadium, not even in the stadium, like in the parking lot. And 25 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:27,600 I was like, fuck that dude. Like, well, so the good news is I'm in the three hundreds. 26 00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:33,160 So I'll be like right below most airplanes and it's typically colder up there. Yeah. 27 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:37,720 The closer you get to the atmosphere, like, yeah, yeah, it'll cool down. Yeah. I'm hoping 28 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:45,520 the trade winds really, really cool me down. Oh shit. Well, Sherpa is ready. You know, 29 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:51,360 that's it's not. It's got a couple of oxygen tanks. But I feel like at the stadium shows, 30 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:55,160 like they still have those giant fucking monitors. Like you'll be able to see something, maybe 31 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:59,480 not them on stage, but like they have screens. Well, I mean, my camera is pretty good on 32 00:02:59,480 --> 00:03:07,200 my phone, so I can actually, I got some pretty good photos and then I snuck down during Metallica 33 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:12,320 because it was like this whole section that was basically empty and no one stopped me. 34 00:03:12,320 --> 00:03:16,160 And so I just know I was like down in the one hundreds for all of Metallica. If they're 35 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:19,720 not there during Metallica, I think you can just stand there. No one's going to get me 36 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:27,040 exactly. Exactly. It's the way I looked at it midway through Metallica set. And I, I 37 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:31,960 saw Pantera was very excited to see Pantera. Yeah, I'm not. Phil's doing well. Not a fan 38 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:37,000 of Pantera. I mean, other music's fine, but fuck Phil. And also at this point, but Pantera 39 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:40,840 is just like a fucking cover band. There's no original members besides Phil, right? Didn't 40 00:03:40,840 --> 00:03:45,200 most everyone leave? Yeah. Yeah. Well, most of them are dead, you know? Well, yeah, that 41 00:03:45,200 --> 00:03:51,840 too. It's just Pantera cover band featuring Phil and Salvo. Yeah, exactly. No, for me, 42 00:03:51,840 --> 00:03:56,680 it was more like I just wanted to relive middle school for a little bit. That tracks. Like 43 00:03:56,680 --> 00:04:01,640 they're not in my rotation whatsoever, but there's that, you know, that one song, Cemetery 44 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:06,920 Gates. You can't go wrong with that one. That's true. I will say, I will say Pantera. Yeah. 45 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:12,640 Not a fan of them personally as people, but I will say some of the music is really good 46 00:04:12,640 --> 00:04:17,960 and what they did for like the genre of hardcore and like metal core. Like you can't deny that 47 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:23,280 they are one of the most influential bands for those scenes. You know what I mean? Yeah. 48 00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:29,560 But exactly. Yeah. And, you know, Metallica was awesome and they played some older stuff. 49 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:34,640 They played stuff off the new album too, which I was like, thanks guys, but I'm good. So 50 00:04:34,640 --> 00:04:38,320 it's two nights. So it was every night, like a different set. You said everything. Yeah. 51 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:42,920 It's a totally different set, different songs. They don't repeat any songs. Then did you 52 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:48,480 have to buy tickets as a pair or was it like a, oh, so like if you bought one, you automatically 53 00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:51,600 get access to the second? I think you could have bought tickets. I think you could have 54 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:56,520 bought individual tickets, but I think for the most part you had to buy them as a pair 55 00:04:56,520 --> 00:05:00,000 because when you try to sell the tickets or you try to like give the tickets away, you 56 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:06,160 can't because there you have to break up the set. Is there like a, is there a reason why 57 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:11,680 it was Friday and Sunday and not Friday and Saturday? Well, I think it's because Metallica 58 00:05:11,680 --> 00:05:17,880 is 900 years old and so they probably needed like a day in the cryo chamber, you know, 59 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:22,040 to just recover their aged bodies. They had to go into the back to tank for a hot minute. 60 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:27,040 God knows their fans needed that extra day. Yeah. Yeah. God knows I needed the back to 61 00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:33,760 tank. I, so the first night, you know, Friday night, you know, I'm sweating like R Kelly 62 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:43,560 at a Girl Scout meeting and all of my clothing is soaking wet. And then I got home and I 63 00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:48,280 immediately jumped in the shower. Oh yeah. And then all day yesterday, I just, I still 64 00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:52,360 felt gross even though I showered today, it's going to be a little bit more merciful. It's 65 00:05:52,360 --> 00:05:57,440 going to be like in the, in the eighties, I think. So that's not bad. That's good. I 66 00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:02,240 mean in Massachusetts, the eighties after nineties in humid, the eighties, you're like, 67 00:06:02,240 --> 00:06:07,440 okay, this is bearable. I can deal with this. Yeah. I mean 10 degrees is a wild difference 68 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:12,480 in like with humidity. Yes. It's crazy. Yeah. All right, Sarge. Well, we got a show to go 69 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:17,600 over, but I'm excited before we do that. I just want to say, uh, I got a lovely package 70 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:24,680 in the mail from a listener. Uh, oh yes. It was from, uh, our good friend, Matt bulk detonator. 71 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:29,600 Awesome. And, uh, did he send you explosives? No, he sent me, hold on a second. Just wait. 72 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:35,800 All right. One second. Can, uh, can you see this? Can you see what this is? Oh, Matt, 73 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:42,720 Matt, you glorious son of a bitch. He sent me a dildo hat, dildo brewing, as you remember 74 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:51,600 from the dildo episode. Also, uh, this wonderful, uh, dildo t-shirt. Amazing. He also sent, 75 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:57,080 uh, it also came with a stickers and a pin. Now, Sarge, how jealous are you? I'm very 76 00:06:57,080 --> 00:07:00,800 jealous. Really? Cause I'm very jealous. Oh, what's this? Is it a second hat and a second 77 00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:07,720 t-shirt and the second sticker and a second pin that I'm going to send to you? This is 78 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:12,440 the best day ever. Yeah. So thank you, Matt, for sending us dildo brewing merch. I know 79 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:16,360 we're sponsored by Narragansett, but I will be rocking the fuck out of this dildo hat. 80 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:22,360 It's a very, I'm going to, I would wear mine too immediately. I would, I actually am disappointed. 81 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:30,200 I can't wear it tonight to Metallica because I think if anyone can appreciate a man wearing 82 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:34,520 a hat with the word dildo on it, it would be the fans of Metallica. Yeah. So I just 83 00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:39,480 want to say thank you, Matt, for Matt. You were the fucking best. Matt also sends me 84 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:43,680 video of explosions, which makes me extremely happy. Yeah. That's one of my favorite things 85 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:51,920 ever. It's a hit me up, ask for your t-shirt size and all that stuff and try to keep it 86 00:07:51,920 --> 00:07:56,400 a secret from you. And I wanted to surprise you. That's why I said I'd surprise for you 87 00:07:56,400 --> 00:08:01,840 tonight. Well, if you went, if you went with circus tent size, you were right. Yeah. Well, 88 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:05,880 I already knew your shirt size. Can you sense it to me? So it's fine. Yeah. I got you covered. 89 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:10,200 All right, baby boy. Are you ready for today's episode? I'm so ready. Let's do this. All 90 00:08:10,200 --> 00:08:15,280 right. So today we're going to be traveling to the historic Columbus, Indiana. It's known 91 00:08:15,280 --> 00:08:20,160 for its modern architecture. Many public art pieces is home to seven national historic 92 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:24,920 landmarks, three of which are churches and one is a bank. So if you're wondering, you 93 00:08:24,920 --> 00:08:31,800 know what this country was founded on, it's a, it's also home to over 700 acres of parks 94 00:08:31,800 --> 00:08:36,760 and green space as well as over 20 miles of trails. It's also home to Chuck Taylor, the 95 00:08:36,760 --> 00:08:41,840 man responsible for making converse shoes like what they are today. Big fan of Chuck 96 00:08:41,840 --> 00:08:47,700 Taylor's downsides. It's also home to noted anthropomorphic mommy issue, Mike Pence and 97 00:08:47,700 --> 00:08:54,400 his assumingly somehow even more boring brother, Greg. His brother does seem like he'd be a 98 00:08:54,400 --> 00:09:03,400 Greg. Mike Pence looks like an elderly ventriloquist dummy. The other downside is that it may also 99 00:09:03,400 --> 00:09:09,880 be home to a large green bipedal monster that has since been dubbed the mill race monster. 100 00:09:09,880 --> 00:09:15,940 Are you familiar with the mill race monster? No, but I'm not surprised that a monster from 101 00:09:15,940 --> 00:09:26,240 Indiana would have the word race involved in it. So this, this does not get racist at 102 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:29,520 all. I don't think, I don't think this is like an allegory for anything. I think this 103 00:09:29,520 --> 00:09:36,880 actually happens. We're going to get banned real fast. Yeah. So the, uh, the story goes 104 00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:43,240 that on the day of November 1st, 1974 around 3 p.m. for young women, uh, their names are 105 00:09:43,240 --> 00:09:48,180 unknown. We're hanging out and decided to go down to the park to play or do some under 106 00:09:48,180 --> 00:09:51,920 range drinking. I don't know. I assume they're underage because their names were never released. 107 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:55,520 Like the police never released them. So I'm going to assume they went down to the park 108 00:09:55,520 --> 00:10:00,440 to fucking, you know, get a little wild. This is seventies, you know, that, you know, small 109 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:04,740 town, but uh, smoke a little weed, get drunk, whatever. Yeah. Actually, no, if they were 110 00:10:04,740 --> 00:10:11,600 smoking weed in 1970s Indiana, they'd still be in jail. Well, I mean, I don't know their 111 00:10:11,600 --> 00:10:20,840 race, so. Oh, that's true. Or if their dad was like a mayor. Yeah, that's also, but uh, 112 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:24,560 but not long after arriving there, one of the girls noticed something lurking between 113 00:10:24,560 --> 00:10:30,680 two trees over near the boat launch to the white river. She saw what she dubbed the thing 114 00:10:30,680 --> 00:10:34,320 and pointed out to her friends, uh, terrified. That's actually what Mike Pence calls his 115 00:10:34,320 --> 00:10:45,060 penis. Hello mother. Would you like to touch the thing? People forget that he calls his 116 00:10:45,060 --> 00:10:51,600 wife mother. That's fucking wild. I think Reagan used to do that too. Didn't he? No, 117 00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:55,960 he called her mommy. I don't know. No, he didn't. Did he? I know he called himself the 118 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:59,920 gipper, which is, I don't know what that means. It sounds like a disease. I got a case of 119 00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:07,040 the gipper. Well, you know, I'm going to eat my jelly beans and call me the gipper. Mommy, 120 00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:11,240 come feed me my jelly. That's my Reagan oppression. It's not that good. Hold on a second. Hold 121 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:15,800 on a second. All right. Yeah. So, but not long after arriving there, one of the girls 122 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:20,600 noticed something lurking between two trees over near the boat launch to the white river. 123 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:24,360 She saw what she dubbed the thing. Oh, we already went over this. Whatever. Uh, and pointed 124 00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:31,040 out Pence's wiener. Got it. Yep. Mommy. Oh no. Mother. Uh, pointed it out to her friends. 125 00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:36,400 Terrified. They slammed the rest of their beers allegedly, uh, and got the fuck out 126 00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:41,000 of there and then immediately went to the police to report what they saw. They told 127 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:47,240 the obviously skeptical police officer that they had seen a quote green, hairy and large 128 00:11:47,240 --> 00:11:54,320 creature. Also how Mike Pence describes his penis. Uh, the second infected the second 129 00:11:54,320 --> 00:11:58,120 sighting happened later that evening when a couple of gals fresh from the drive through 130 00:11:58,120 --> 00:12:04,960 decided to stop off at mill race park to chat and eat their meal in peace. One of the women, 131 00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:09,120 Tyra, Kataline. I think that's how you pronounce her last name. I want to say Katalin, but 132 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:14,240 I don't think that's right. Uh, Tyra, Tyra, Kataline, the only one to publicly talk about 133 00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:19,920 the experience they had went on to tell her story to, uh, an episode of monsters and mysteries 134 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:24,320 in America. I feel like that like show comes up a lot and I've never seen an episode of 135 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:29,480 it. Yeah. I don't remember that show at all. Yeah. And television was my babysitter for 136 00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:36,520 most of my youth. So well, she went on to tell them that quote, excuse me, quote, it 137 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:41,000 was just a typical evening shortly after Halloween and we decided to go take our dinner down 138 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:46,760 to the park and eat it and talk. And we were just staring out into the dark woods and quote, 139 00:12:46,760 --> 00:12:50,800 it seems like this creature has kind of taken a page out of the Murphy's burrow mud monster 140 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:57,200 playbook because suddenly a seven foot tall, hairy green slime covered monster appeared 141 00:12:57,200 --> 00:13:02,240 in front of their car. Uh, it was illuminated by the headlights just fucking popped out. 142 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:08,120 Like what up motherfuckers now, Sarge, this wouldn't be a story if they just saw this 143 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:13,880 thing and they were like, Oh, neat. And then just like got out of there. And I'm not here 144 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:20,080 to waste. I'm not here to waste your time, Sarge. So no, this thing rushed the car and 145 00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:24,920 started smashing at its windshield and slamming on the car with all of its might, trying to 146 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:30,360 actively get to the two women who are now trapped inside this car. Uh, she told, she 147 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:34,640 told monsters and mysteries, quote, it was beating on the windshield, trying to get in 148 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:38,760 and we were screaming. We thought we were going to die. I said, we've got to get out 149 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:44,320 of here. But the driver was shaking so badly. She couldn't get the car started and quote, 150 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:49,120 but even with all the chaos happening, Tyra was able to get a good look at this thing. 151 00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:54,880 She described it as quote, there was a greenish tinge to him. That's the thing's face. I don't 152 00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:58,640 know if it had been in the river drinking and it got moss on it because there was so 153 00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:04,320 much slime on its face. It did have fangs and he was trying to bite through the glass 154 00:14:04,320 --> 00:14:09,920 and I was afraid he was going to tear the door off. End quote. How you feeling? Oh yeah, 155 00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:13,200 this thing's, this thing's slimy too. It's not just like covered in hair. It's slimy. 156 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:17,760 Yeah. Like it's not smart though. It's not a smart creature. Obviously. I don't know. 157 00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:21,240 It's trying to fucking smash through the windshield. It's just, yes, but it was also trying to 158 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:27,300 bite through the glass, but it was like the closed window. So we just rubbing its face 159 00:14:27,300 --> 00:14:36,880 on it essentially. But I got nothing. I was going to try and justify it, but I couldn't 160 00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:43,380 figure out what to say. There was, there was a time I was at the zoo and I had, uh, I had 161 00:14:43,380 --> 00:14:48,960 my sunglasses on and it went to the baboon in enclosure and there's like a glass thing 162 00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:55,200 there and the baboon ran directly at the glass and slammed into it, but trying to attack 163 00:14:55,200 --> 00:15:01,680 me. But you've seen like baboon teeth. Like, yeah, they're terrifying, but I know if it's 164 00:15:01,680 --> 00:15:06,880 that dumb, I could probably outsmart it. But here's the thing. When you're in a situation 165 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:10,440 where it's smashing on your glass, even if it's just trying to bite through the window, 166 00:15:10,440 --> 00:15:16,400 you're like, like seeing those teeth and knowing that if it got through the windshield is I'd 167 00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:19,540 be like, I don't care how dumb it is. That thing could easily murder me. It's like that 168 00:15:19,540 --> 00:15:26,360 chick who got her face eaten off by the chimpanzee. Look, I'm not saying it couldn't murder me. 169 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:32,920 Oh, I have, I have encountered many a creature driving through Southie that could easily 170 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:38,160 murder me, but it can't figure out the puzzle of opening my car door. Cause it's used to 171 00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:47,400 taking the bus or the T everywhere. So it's never written in a car. So now luckily for 172 00:15:47,400 --> 00:15:52,200 the pair, the driver was able to gather themselves long enough to get the car started and get 173 00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:59,240 the fuck out of there. And just like those underage drinking girls from before, allegedly 174 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:03,040 they decided to go straight to the police to report what they had seen. Also, I think 175 00:16:03,040 --> 00:16:06,680 it's important to point out that like these two women, the ones who were like in the park 176 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:11,620 eating their dinner or whatever, they had no idea about the earlier incident with the 177 00:16:11,620 --> 00:16:17,280 four like young girls. Like, yeah, it wasn't news yet. No, this is like hours apart. Like 178 00:16:17,280 --> 00:16:21,500 it wasn't in this. Yeah. There's no story. Uh, but either way, just like with all these 179 00:16:21,500 --> 00:16:25,740 types of sightings, the police were no more going to believe like these older witnesses 180 00:16:25,740 --> 00:16:31,060 than they were the younger ones. Uh, Tyra went on to say that quote, it just seemed 181 00:16:31,060 --> 00:16:36,160 like they were laughing about it. They said, Oh, a monster really? Have you been drinking? 182 00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:40,380 And quote, uh, I don't know if they said it like that, but that's how I read it in my 183 00:16:40,380 --> 00:16:45,000 head. I mean, if I'm being honest, somebody came up to me and was like a green monster 184 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:48,560 tried to break in my car. I'd be like, did you get drunk at Fenway? 185 00:16:48,560 --> 00:16:56,440 Yeah. Really? Was he trying to come fucking kill you? Philly fanatic with a baseball bat? 186 00:16:56,440 --> 00:17:00,900 You know? Yeah, no, I get it. Uh, but whether or not the cops believe that there was a real 187 00:17:00,900 --> 00:17:06,720 monster roaming the park or not, there was undeniably real damage done to their car. 188 00:17:06,720 --> 00:17:11,360 Uh, I was actually going to ask. I was going to ask. Yeah. And it's not, not just damage, 189 00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:16,160 but like just like the worst odor was like emanating from it due to like whatever like 190 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:20,240 slime it was covered in. Like this, it was like smeared across the window. Like when 191 00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:24,320 it was like pounding on it, like she had to like look through like smeared slime to get 192 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:29,440 a good look at the creature. Uh, Tyra said that it was so bad that she compared it to 193 00:17:29,440 --> 00:17:38,160 the scent of a decomposed animal. No. So we're still talking about Mike Pence's dick, huh? 194 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:43,280 Yeah, pretty much. Now, obviously the police couldn't ignore it. So they decided to go 195 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:47,800 and check out the park, but they weren't like, they weren't like super stoked on it. It was 196 00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:53,120 more like a, like one of those like, well, guess we better mosey on down to the park 197 00:17:53,120 --> 00:17:59,200 and take a look. It was like one of those. Yeah. And, uh, and they're very half hearted 198 00:17:59,200 --> 00:18:06,480 search of the park. They found nothing, obviously, uh, no evidence at the scene. And I assume 199 00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:11,360 they just chalked it up to like, maybe the car just did that. 200 00:18:11,360 --> 00:18:20,040 Those new Japanese models. It pre-dense. Yeah. It just, it just kind of did that. Uh, they 201 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:24,920 just, and whatever, but they just kind of assume that like whatever there's all this 202 00:18:24,920 --> 00:18:29,600 shit would quiet down in the morning and that this is like the last they'll hear of it. 203 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:35,620 But as we know from the Murfreesboro mud monster case, they were a hundred percent wrong. Uh, 204 00:18:35,620 --> 00:18:40,880 the day after the encounter on November 2nd, the Republic newspaper printed a short article 205 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:44,880 under the headline. And I'm going to read this in my best like newscaster voice, but 206 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:50,520 it's going to be like an old timey one. Monster women report seeing beast and mill 207 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:58,480 race name of my sex tape. And, uh, an excerpt from that article read, they swear it's true. 208 00:18:58,480 --> 00:19:01,760 Six young women told city police Friday and two separate reports that they had seen a 209 00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:08,840 mill race monster once in broad daylight and whatever it is, the six agreed it is one green, 210 00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:22,080 two hairy, three large, about six feet tall and walking upright. And four has claws. 211 00:19:22,080 --> 00:19:24,760 Promise me you'll read everything like that from now on. 212 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:32,760 Whoa, whoa, on two fronts. No, I'm not going to do that. Uh, then on November 6th, the 213 00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:36,600 Republic newspaper reported another sighting of the beast that happened when two men in 214 00:19:36,600 --> 00:19:41,640 their twenties claimed they saw a large hairy thing standing behind some trees near a covered 215 00:19:41,640 --> 00:19:46,040 bridge at around 4pm. The men were turned out. They were just a Jim Belushi's house. 216 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:51,200 The men returned later that evening with binoculars to get a good look at the thing and then told 217 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:55,000 police that once they spotted it, it chased them away. Another sighting was reported after 218 00:19:55,000 --> 00:20:00,780 this on November 9th, 1974 in the Indianapolis star. And this is probably my favorite monster 219 00:20:00,780 --> 00:20:05,800 sighting I've ever fucking read. And I don't know if you're ready for this. Two men, 20 220 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:12,240 year old Rick Duckworth and 19 year old John Brown worked for the city as dog catchers. 221 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:18,200 They were in the park this day, quote, studying ways to rescue cats in the trees of the park, 222 00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:22,640 AKA they were getting high and just fucking around in the park. I feel like they were 223 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:27,880 absolutely fucking off from work. They had no intention of accomplishing anything other 224 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:33,200 than. Yeah, yeah, they were doing shit. Now the pair said that they spotted the mill race 225 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:38,700 monster about 200 feet away from them. As soon as it was spotted, Rick and I love him 226 00:20:38,700 --> 00:20:43,600 for this was pretty much just like all of my years of dog catch dog catcher training 227 00:20:43,600 --> 00:20:50,560 has led me to this moment and decided to just fucking book it after this monster. Now, according 228 00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:56,520 to the newspaper, as soon as Rick took off after this thing, the monster ran away, quote, 229 00:20:56,520 --> 00:21:01,980 as fast as a deer and disappeared into the woods. And then, quote, with the monster gone, 230 00:21:01,980 --> 00:21:06,960 the two men obtained a ladder and lowered the cats to the ground. And as soon as they 231 00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:11,800 hit the ground, the two cats took off like lightning bolts with one disappearing into 232 00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:16,320 the distance and the other running into a sewer line, according to Duckworth. They were 233 00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:21,440 really scared, he added. So, yeah, they were actually legitimately putting cats into trees 234 00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:34,560 and figuring out how to rescue them. This is this is my favorite. They were legit. OK. 235 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:38,920 Were they taking the cats and just throwing them up in the air and hoping they stay in 236 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:45,440 a tree? What was how did that work? It didn't say, but I know I know it didn't. It never 237 00:21:45,440 --> 00:21:51,360 does. I honestly don't think there were cats. I think because if they were testing out ways 238 00:21:51,360 --> 00:21:56,060 to rescue cats, that means they would have either had to, A, do what you said and throw 239 00:21:56,060 --> 00:22:02,000 them into the tree and hope they stay there. B, there was already cats in a tree and they're 240 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:08,080 like, this is the perfect opportunity for us to find new ways to rescue cats. Or C, 241 00:22:08,080 --> 00:22:14,320 they just there was no they weren't doing it. There's no cats. They're just like, oh, 242 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:19,200 yeah, for a second, I was thinking to myself, maybe the monster chased the cats into the 243 00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:24,200 tree. But that would be weird because then the monster would have to chase like two different 244 00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:30,360 cats, rarely travel in pairs. Right. Yeah. Not like fucking. Yeah. Yeah. I don't I don't 245 00:22:30,360 --> 00:22:38,480 know. But I love the idea of two like down on their luck dog catchers just like miserably 246 00:22:38,480 --> 00:22:43,720 walking into the park with like cat carriers and just throwing cats straight up in the 247 00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:50,060 air and hoping they stay in the tree. I think what happened was they got caught fucking 248 00:22:50,060 --> 00:22:55,920 off in the park and then they're like, no, dude, we saw the fucking mill race monster, 249 00:22:55,920 --> 00:23:03,280 man. Well, what happened was and then, you know, what happened was there was we were 250 00:23:03,280 --> 00:23:10,000 the cats in the tree and then we were trying to how cats down. Oh, God, is monster. And 251 00:23:10,000 --> 00:23:15,640 so, you know, I say I obviously I chased after, you know, who I am. Boss, boss, you know, 252 00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:19,600 me, you know, me, I don't I don't back down. I'm afraid of shit. Yeah. I'm afraid after 253 00:23:19,600 --> 00:23:24,160 it. Fucking John, whatever the guy, the guy's name was, you know, he stayed back to watch 254 00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:27,480 the cats, make sure they were safe. He wanted to make sure the cats didn't fall out of the 255 00:23:27,480 --> 00:23:31,440 tree and break a leg. You want to see a cat with a broken leg. You don't want you don't 256 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:35,600 want to see that boss. You know me, boss. So I ran after I couldn't catch it fast as 257 00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:40,120 a deer, fast as a deer. That thing was when I came back, I was like, all right, we've 258 00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:47,340 got to we've got to really, really fucking fucking straighten up and we got to get back 259 00:23:47,340 --> 00:23:52,280 back on the back on the beat. We had to get back on the beat to catch dogs. Yeah. So we 260 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:58,760 know. So we grabbed the ladder, which is our first experiment. Yeah, we had the we had 261 00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:03,000 the ladder with the cats. We weren't smoking weed in the tree. We wanted to get the cats 262 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:06,800 out. Yeah. You know, because we were experimenting. How you how do you rescue cats? Because normally 263 00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:13,520 we would climb the tree barehanded. Right. Right. Yeah. One cat down to the other guy. 264 00:24:13,520 --> 00:24:18,000 You know us. We can we can climb a tree. But with the ladder, because our hands will be 265 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:22,320 full of cats. Yeah. So we had to get on the ladder to come down. You can't you can't wrap 266 00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:27,080 the cat around the tree. Like sometimes you can grab the head and the tail and like shimmy 267 00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:31,280 down it. But you shouldn't do that because you can break the cat. Bad for the cat. Bad 268 00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:34,720 for the cat. You know, you know, we do it the same way those people that climb trees 269 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:39,840 to get coconuts to do it. It's really. Yes. Yeah, exactly. So like bottom line, we had 270 00:24:39,840 --> 00:24:45,120 12 hours overtime. Yes. Sorry about that, boss. But you monsters, you know, I was trying 271 00:24:45,120 --> 00:24:49,960 to save the cats to save. Well, not really one of them here for not real. One of them 272 00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:57,920 ran into a sewer line sewer. It got eaten by an alligator that someone flushed. Yeah, 273 00:24:57,920 --> 00:25:03,180 didn't really do their job at all. They're not good dog catchers. Now, Rick Duckworth, 274 00:25:03,180 --> 00:25:07,800 the fucking the macho man who ran after the fucking beast, he also told the star that 275 00:25:07,800 --> 00:25:13,040 he had he believes that the creature is really just a large framed man wearing a green mask 276 00:25:13,040 --> 00:25:18,360 and green blankets and that if he ever sees the creature again, quote, you know, I'll 277 00:25:18,360 --> 00:25:26,760 try and shoot him with a tranquilizer gun that I carry to catch dogs and. Which is wild. 278 00:25:26,760 --> 00:25:31,240 Like, obviously, if it's a monster, yes, shoot with tranquilizers, whatever. But if you if 279 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:34,900 you in your mind, just a guy, if you know it's a dude, you're going to riddle him with 280 00:25:34,900 --> 00:25:39,600 fucking tranquilizers like he hasn't killed anything like nothing bad has really happened, 281 00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:43,760 except I guess he did try to attack those two women. But back in the 70s, I don't think 282 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:48,200 anyone cared about that part of it. They just know. No, they weren't concerned with that. 283 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:52,240 Yeah. The police were like, well, why are you dressed that way? Clearly, it was trying 284 00:25:52,240 --> 00:26:01,120 to get into the car. Yeah. But but either way, the prankster story is what like the officials 285 00:26:01,120 --> 00:26:05,920 of the city decided to say was the cause of the sightings, which didn't sit too well with 286 00:26:05,920 --> 00:26:11,000 like the people who actually saw the thing like Tyra was like, fuck you guys like tried 287 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:19,800 to eat me basically. It also didn't deter anyone, especially the droves of and we've 288 00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:25,360 seen this time and time again, the droves of armed amateur monster hunters from swarming 289 00:26:25,360 --> 00:26:33,200 the park in search of this thing. Nothing. Nothing says America like an armed angry villager 290 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:37,360 chasing down a cryptid. Now, the best part is that not all not all these people were 291 00:26:37,360 --> 00:26:43,400 from the town. Like people came armed to the town, Kyle Rittenhouse style to protect the 292 00:26:43,400 --> 00:26:51,840 property of this fucking place. One night alone, there was over a hundred cars parked 293 00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:56,960 in and along the area of the park. One one paranormal investigator and native to the 294 00:26:56,960 --> 00:27:01,360 area, Chris McDaniel, described the scene as, quote, People were coming out of the woodwork 295 00:27:01,360 --> 00:27:05,480 and they were walking through the woods with baseball bats and shotguns. It was getting 296 00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:13,720 to be a thorny situation. End quote. Now. Oh my God. Yeah. Very not good. Now, obviously, 297 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:18,360 as we've covered a bunch of times, having roving bands of armed and jumpy nerds in a 298 00:27:18,360 --> 00:27:24,640 public park isn't something that law enforcement is like particularly cool with prepared for. 299 00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:29,840 Yeah. Especially if that park is near a residential area, which this one was. So the park director 300 00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:34,800 Robert Gilligan ordered that the park be closed at night, stating in a press release. And 301 00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:39,000 this is one of my favorite quotes. He said, quote, It may become necessary to close the 302 00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:49,160 park to the public at night, not because of the monster, but because of the public. The 303 00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:54,680 this is the same reason they close liquor stores. Yeah. The police, the alcohol, it's 304 00:27:54,680 --> 00:28:00,440 a problem. The police department even unofficially appointed officer Kenneth St. John to the 305 00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:06,080 position of monster control officer. Now, I don't know if it was just for the press 306 00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:10,880 or like for the public, but if I was ever a cop, this is the one promotion that I would 307 00:28:10,880 --> 00:28:15,960 be eyeballing constantly. Like I would have, I would, I would have the makeup badges for 308 00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:19,880 me. Yeah. I would need a badge on my sleeve. I would do like my whole, you know, gotta 309 00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:25,160 be a beat cop. Do you think, but I would be like my promotion. I, I want to be the monster 310 00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:28,520 control. I haven't checked to see if this is still like a thing there because it'd be 311 00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:33,560 phenomenal if it was. I want to be the monster control officer too. That sounds like an amazing 312 00:28:33,560 --> 00:28:38,280 job. It sounds very fulfilling. Right. Like you, you, you would never work a day in your 313 00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:45,080 life because you'd be doing what you love. Yeah. You'd be throwing cats in trees. They 314 00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:51,520 should have gave it to that guy. But just like in all the cases like this, after a while 315 00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:55,500 the monster talk and sightings and our imposter is kind of died down and people just went 316 00:28:55,500 --> 00:29:00,020 about their lives. Sure. You know, there's no resolution as to what this thing was or 317 00:29:00,020 --> 00:29:04,040 why it chose to make its home in mill race park for the few weeks that it did or why 318 00:29:04,040 --> 00:29:08,680 it behaved in the ways that it did. Like it ran from some, but ran at and attacked others. 319 00:29:08,680 --> 00:29:14,640 And we may never know just kind of like the, you know, the Murfreesboro mud monster, but 320 00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:18,800 whatever it is, it definitely impacted the lives of those that lived there for some time. 321 00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:24,280 And in the case of Tyra, uh, Catiline to this day, she's still fucking hates that she saw 322 00:29:24,280 --> 00:29:29,440 it. Like she didn't want to see that. Uh, but anyways, there you have it, Sarge. That 323 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:37,200 is the story of the mill race monster. How you feeling about it? I, I am still just playing 324 00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:44,800 out the image of two dudes and coveralls with large, large nets, just launching cats into 325 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:51,560 trees and then being like, all right, now the orange ones are wily. So be ready for 326 00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:58,720 anything. You got your sunglasses on it. We'll go for the eyes. It will go for you. It's 327 00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:04,760 hard to catch a black cat cause it looks like shadows. I just like, you know, they were 328 00:30:04,760 --> 00:30:08,480 just talking it up for the press. They made that whole story. They got caught. Fuck it. 329 00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:13,640 Like why? Yeah. They're under the tree ripping butts, just trying to try to enjoy the night. 330 00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:18,240 Oh, for those of you not regional, by the way, ripping butts is smoking cigarettes. 331 00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:23,320 Yeah. I said that once in somewhat that I meant farting because that's, that's a new 332 00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:26,360 England thing. You're ripping a butt kid. I still say that to this day. I don't even 333 00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:31,080 smoke cigarettes anymore. I've used it. I have a drink thing. So like, yeah, right. 334 00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:35,040 But you know, I'm going to go fucking rip a butt. All right. What are we doing? Let's 335 00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:40,960 uh, we went off in a tangent. Oh shit. All right. So yeah, so that's it. It's very similar 336 00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:45,080 to the Murfreesboro mud monster. I didn't, I should have tried to like cross reference 337 00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:50,320 like dates to see it. Like, I don't mean, I don't think any rivers connect to, I mean, 338 00:30:50,320 --> 00:30:54,040 sure there are in mebbing the same thing. I don't know. It's kind of different. It's 339 00:30:54,040 --> 00:30:59,800 not white. Like the Murfreesboro mud monster was, it's just covered in scaly slime shit, 340 00:30:59,800 --> 00:31:04,800 but I don't know. It's all fucking amazing. It makes me so happy. This is a, this is another 341 00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:09,040 good one. Yeah. I wanted to, you know, we haven't really, we did, we did one monster 342 00:31:09,040 --> 00:31:13,120 that like one episode that I pulled out of my ass when we got together a lot, like two 343 00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:16,920 weeks ago, this one I wanted to be like, I got to fucking give them the good stuff. All 344 00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:22,960 right. Although dildo merch, dildo merch did come out of the last one. So thank you again. 345 00:31:22,960 --> 00:31:27,920 As soon as I get that hat, I'm wearing it and taking a picture. Yeah. Unfortunately, 346 00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:31,520 in front of a church, they sent me a shirt that was said medium, but it's actually a 347 00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:34,320 large and I got to shrink it, but either way I'm still going to rock it. I think I might 348 00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:37,640 just cut the sleeves off and just make it like a six sleeveless, like fucking cutoff 349 00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:42,480 shirt. Yeah. I mean, sleeveless life. Yeah. I'm going to rock it. No, I don't want to. 350 00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:47,200 All right, sorry. Do you got anything you want to plug before we go? You can still get 351 00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:53,520 my coloring book at Sajas super normal.com. Nine 99, a wonderful price for a wonderful 352 00:31:53,520 --> 00:32:01,040 activity. And then, you know, follow me on the, on the socials. You just Google Saja 353 00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:07,040 destroyer. I'm the only one dumb enough to use that name. So it's, it's out there forever. 354 00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:12,320 And if you're at Gillette stadium tonight and you hear this, which you won't because 355 00:32:12,320 --> 00:32:18,840 it will come out till Monday. Hit me up. Yeah. If you, if you ever trouble finding his socials, 356 00:32:18,840 --> 00:32:23,600 you can find them all on our Instagram at a at cryptic cocktail. There's a link in the 357 00:32:23,600 --> 00:32:28,200 bio that has all of that in there. You know, make sure you leave us a rating and review 358 00:32:28,200 --> 00:32:33,180 on Spotify, Apple, wherever you can. We get, yeah. You know, it helps tell your friends 359 00:32:33,180 --> 00:32:39,360 about us. Yeah. It helps get the word. Get it. It gets us into other people's ears. That's 360 00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:45,760 not just yours or ours. Cause we hear enough of it. Yeah. Follow us. Tell us your stories 361 00:32:45,760 --> 00:32:50,160 as well. Yeah. Send us some stories, please. It'd be awesome to hear some stories from 362 00:32:50,160 --> 00:32:53,720 you guys and I'll keep it brief. Send us a message and email, whatever we'll read at 363 00:32:53,720 --> 00:32:57,040 the end of an episode or something like that. If we get enough, maybe we'll just do a whole 364 00:32:57,040 --> 00:33:01,880 episode of like listener stories. That'd be fun as shit too. Or maybe we'll just do them 365 00:33:01,880 --> 00:33:06,480 at the end of the episode. Who knows? Yeah. We'll figure it out. Yeah. And then tickles 366 00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:13,360 you fancy falls on Instagram, cryptic cocktail, tick tock, cryptic cocktail party, uh, Patreon 367 00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:18,080 $5 a month. Just helps, you know, keep the show going. It's, you know, it's expensive 368 00:33:18,080 --> 00:33:23,440 in this economy to do a podcast. It's crazy. Yeah. In this economy. It's crazy. Yeah. Thanks 369 00:33:23,440 --> 00:33:30,440 Biden. Uh, anyways, he quit. Yeah, it's fine. I mean, he's still, yeah, leave the old man 370 00:33:30,440 --> 00:33:33,800 alone. He quit. Well, he's still, yeah, but he still is like, he's just like, he put in 371 00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:38,520 his two weeks notice. He's still work at the job. He just is like coming back at the end. 372 00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:42,760 Yeah, that's true. Uh, all right. And with that, Sarge, do you want to say goodbye and 373 00:33:42,760 --> 00:33:46,520 I love you to everyone? You guys, I love you.