Hey everybody, welcome back to another episode of Cryptic Cocktail Party, a show where we
have a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown. I am your host,
Dave, and joined as always by the beautiful Sarge the Destroyer. What is going on? My
beautiful liberal satanist slash love doctor.
I'm much better podcaster. You cut to your weirdo. Hey man. Hello. What up?
Oh, nothing. It is hot as fucking balls in here, but how you doing? But I know we didn't
get to, we didn't get to talk last week. So this is a, I know, I know I'm very bummed
out, but my mom was down, had a show. No, no, that's fair. That's fair. I don't, I
totally understand. That's a, that's an important thing to deal with. My parents live in this
city, so I see them pretty regularly, but I get it. I get it. I see it like once a year.
So yeah, it's important. It's important. Then I do like the touristy shit. Like she's been
here before, but for some reason she really wanted to see the Liberty Bell. And I was
like, I don't think you understand. Like it's not that cool. Like, yeah, it's not the kind
of crack you might be thinking about. No, but it was like, you stand in line for a half
hour in the sun just to literally walk into a building, look at a bell and then leave.
You're like, that was, that was it. Yeah. I mean, I guess if you've never seen it, it's
whatever. But to be honest, like it's not even the original bell. Like the, you know,
like the, but whatever. But how you doing buddy? You're looking good. I know you went
and saw fucking Metallica last night and you're going again. I know. No, it was a Friday night
and I'm going again tonight. No one knows when it's incredibly hot. So it's incredibly hot.
So I'm going to have multiple rags on me to soak up the sweat because I am a fat guy and
fat guy sweat. I told my wife, you were going to see Metallica, Gillette tonight. And she
was like, it's too hot to see fucking anything at Gillette. She was like, I remember when
Warped Tour was at Gillette stadium, not even in the stadium, like in the parking lot. And
I was like, fuck that dude. Like, well, so the good news is I'm in the three hundreds.
So I'll be like right below most airplanes and it's typically colder up there. Yeah.
The closer you get to the atmosphere, like, yeah, yeah, it'll cool down. Yeah. I'm hoping
the trade winds really, really cool me down. Oh shit. Well, Sherpa is ready. You know,
that's it's not. It's got a couple of oxygen tanks. But I feel like at the stadium shows,
like they still have those giant fucking monitors. Like you'll be able to see something, maybe
not them on stage, but like they have screens. Well, I mean, my camera is pretty good on
my phone, so I can actually, I got some pretty good photos and then I snuck down during Metallica
because it was like this whole section that was basically empty and no one stopped me.
And so I just know I was like down in the one hundreds for all of Metallica. If they're
not there during Metallica, I think you can just stand there. No one's going to get me
exactly. Exactly. It's the way I looked at it midway through Metallica set. And I, I
saw Pantera was very excited to see Pantera. Yeah, I'm not. Phil's doing well. Not a fan
of Pantera. I mean, other music's fine, but fuck Phil. And also at this point, but Pantera
is just like a fucking cover band. There's no original members besides Phil, right? Didn't
most everyone leave? Yeah. Yeah. Well, most of them are dead, you know? Well, yeah, that
too. It's just Pantera cover band featuring Phil and Salvo. Yeah, exactly. No, for me,
it was more like I just wanted to relive middle school for a little bit. That tracks. Like
they're not in my rotation whatsoever, but there's that, you know, that one song, Cemetery
Gates. You can't go wrong with that one. That's true. I will say, I will say Pantera. Yeah.
Not a fan of them personally as people, but I will say some of the music is really good
and what they did for like the genre of hardcore and like metal core. Like you can't deny that
they are one of the most influential bands for those scenes. You know what I mean? Yeah.
But exactly. Yeah. And, you know, Metallica was awesome and they played some older stuff.
They played stuff off the new album too, which I was like, thanks guys, but I'm good. So
it's two nights. So it was every night, like a different set. You said everything. Yeah.
It's a totally different set, different songs. They don't repeat any songs. Then did you
have to buy tickets as a pair or was it like a, oh, so like if you bought one, you automatically
get access to the second? I think you could have bought tickets. I think you could have
bought individual tickets, but I think for the most part you had to buy them as a pair
because when you try to sell the tickets or you try to like give the tickets away, you
can't because there you have to break up the set. Is there like a, is there a reason why
it was Friday and Sunday and not Friday and Saturday? Well, I think it's because Metallica
is 900 years old and so they probably needed like a day in the cryo chamber, you know,
to just recover their aged bodies. They had to go into the back to tank for a hot minute.
God knows their fans needed that extra day. Yeah. Yeah. God knows I needed the back to
tank. I, so the first night, you know, Friday night, you know, I'm sweating like R Kelly
at a Girl Scout meeting and all of my clothing is soaking wet. And then I got home and I
immediately jumped in the shower. Oh yeah. And then all day yesterday, I just, I still
felt gross even though I showered today, it's going to be a little bit more merciful. It's
going to be like in the, in the eighties, I think. So that's not bad. That's good. I
mean in Massachusetts, the eighties after nineties in humid, the eighties, you're like,
okay, this is bearable. I can deal with this. Yeah. I mean 10 degrees is a wild difference
in like with humidity. Yes. It's crazy. Yeah. All right, Sarge. Well, we got a show to go
over, but I'm excited before we do that. I just want to say, uh, I got a lovely package
in the mail from a listener. Uh, oh yes. It was from, uh, our good friend, Matt bulk detonator.
Awesome. And, uh, did he send you explosives? No, he sent me, hold on a second. Just wait.
All right. One second. Can, uh, can you see this? Can you see what this is? Oh, Matt,
Matt, you glorious son of a bitch. He sent me a dildo hat, dildo brewing, as you remember
from the dildo episode. Also, uh, this wonderful, uh, dildo t-shirt. Amazing. He also sent,
uh, it also came with a stickers and a pin. Now, Sarge, how jealous are you? I'm very
jealous. Really? Cause I'm very jealous. Oh, what's this? Is it a second hat and a second
t-shirt and the second sticker and a second pin that I'm going to send to you? This is
the best day ever. Yeah. So thank you, Matt, for sending us dildo brewing merch. I know
we're sponsored by Narragansett, but I will be rocking the fuck out of this dildo hat.
It's a very, I'm going to, I would wear mine too immediately. I would, I actually am disappointed.
I can't wear it tonight to Metallica because I think if anyone can appreciate a man wearing
a hat with the word dildo on it, it would be the fans of Metallica. Yeah. So I just
want to say thank you, Matt, for Matt. You were the fucking best. Matt also sends me
video of explosions, which makes me extremely happy. Yeah. That's one of my favorite things
ever. It's a hit me up, ask for your t-shirt size and all that stuff and try to keep it
a secret from you. And I wanted to surprise you. That's why I said I'd surprise for you
tonight. Well, if you went, if you went with circus tent size, you were right. Yeah. Well,
I already knew your shirt size. Can you sense it to me? So it's fine. Yeah. I got you covered.
All right, baby boy. Are you ready for today's episode? I'm so ready. Let's do this. All
right. So today we're going to be traveling to the historic Columbus, Indiana. It's known
for its modern architecture. Many public art pieces is home to seven national historic
landmarks, three of which are churches and one is a bank. So if you're wondering, you
know what this country was founded on, it's a, it's also home to over 700 acres of parks
and green space as well as over 20 miles of trails. It's also home to Chuck Taylor, the
man responsible for making converse shoes like what they are today. Big fan of Chuck
Taylor's downsides. It's also home to noted anthropomorphic mommy issue, Mike Pence and
his assumingly somehow even more boring brother, Greg. His brother does seem like he'd be a
Greg. Mike Pence looks like an elderly ventriloquist dummy. The other downside is that it may also
be home to a large green bipedal monster that has since been dubbed the mill race monster.
Are you familiar with the mill race monster? No, but I'm not surprised that a monster from
Indiana would have the word race involved in it. So this, this does not get racist at
all. I don't think, I don't think this is like an allegory for anything. I think this
actually happens. We're going to get banned real fast. Yeah. So the, uh, the story goes
that on the day of November 1st, 1974 around 3 p.m. for young women, uh, their names are
unknown. We're hanging out and decided to go down to the park to play or do some under
range drinking. I don't know. I assume they're underage because their names were never released.
Like the police never released them. So I'm going to assume they went down to the park
to fucking, you know, get a little wild. This is seventies, you know, that, you know, small
town, but uh, smoke a little weed, get drunk, whatever. Yeah. Actually, no, if they were
smoking weed in 1970s Indiana, they'd still be in jail. Well, I mean, I don't know their
race, so. Oh, that's true. Or if their dad was like a mayor. Yeah, that's also, but uh,
but not long after arriving there, one of the girls noticed something lurking between
two trees over near the boat launch to the white river. She saw what she dubbed the thing
and pointed out to her friends, uh, terrified. That's actually what Mike Pence calls his
penis. Hello mother. Would you like to touch the thing? People forget that he calls his
wife mother. That's fucking wild. I think Reagan used to do that too. Didn't he? No,
he called her mommy. I don't know. No, he didn't. Did he? I know he called himself the
gipper, which is, I don't know what that means. It sounds like a disease. I got a case of
the gipper. Well, you know, I'm going to eat my jelly beans and call me the gipper. Mommy,
come feed me my jelly. That's my Reagan oppression. It's not that good. Hold on a second. Hold
on a second. All right. Yeah. So, but not long after arriving there, one of the girls
noticed something lurking between two trees over near the boat launch to the white river.
She saw what she dubbed the thing. Oh, we already went over this. Whatever. Uh, and pointed
out Pence's wiener. Got it. Yep. Mommy. Oh no. Mother. Uh, pointed it out to her friends.
Terrified. They slammed the rest of their beers allegedly, uh, and got the fuck out
of there and then immediately went to the police to report what they saw. They told
the obviously skeptical police officer that they had seen a quote green, hairy and large
creature. Also how Mike Pence describes his penis. Uh, the second infected the second
sighting happened later that evening when a couple of gals fresh from the drive through
decided to stop off at mill race park to chat and eat their meal in peace. One of the women,
Tyra, Kataline. I think that's how you pronounce her last name. I want to say Katalin, but
I don't think that's right. Uh, Tyra, Tyra, Kataline, the only one to publicly talk about
the experience they had went on to tell her story to, uh, an episode of monsters and mysteries
in America. I feel like that like show comes up a lot and I've never seen an episode of
it. Yeah. I don't remember that show at all. Yeah. And television was my babysitter for
most of my youth. So well, she went on to tell them that quote, excuse me, quote, it
was just a typical evening shortly after Halloween and we decided to go take our dinner down
to the park and eat it and talk. And we were just staring out into the dark woods and quote,
it seems like this creature has kind of taken a page out of the Murphy's burrow mud monster
playbook because suddenly a seven foot tall, hairy green slime covered monster appeared
in front of their car. Uh, it was illuminated by the headlights just fucking popped out.
Like what up motherfuckers now, Sarge, this wouldn't be a story if they just saw this
thing and they were like, Oh, neat. And then just like got out of there. And I'm not here
to waste. I'm not here to waste your time, Sarge. So no, this thing rushed the car and
started smashing at its windshield and slamming on the car with all of its might, trying to
actively get to the two women who are now trapped inside this car. Uh, she told, she
told monsters and mysteries, quote, it was beating on the windshield, trying to get in
and we were screaming. We thought we were going to die. I said, we've got to get out
of here. But the driver was shaking so badly. She couldn't get the car started and quote,
but even with all the chaos happening, Tyra was able to get a good look at this thing.
She described it as quote, there was a greenish tinge to him. That's the thing's face. I don't
know if it had been in the river drinking and it got moss on it because there was so
much slime on its face. It did have fangs and he was trying to bite through the glass
and I was afraid he was going to tear the door off. End quote. How you feeling? Oh yeah,
this thing's, this thing's slimy too. It's not just like covered in hair. It's slimy.
Yeah. Like it's not smart though. It's not a smart creature. Obviously. I don't know.
It's trying to fucking smash through the windshield. It's just, yes, but it was also trying to
bite through the glass, but it was like the closed window. So we just rubbing its face
on it essentially. But I got nothing. I was going to try and justify it, but I couldn't
figure out what to say. There was, there was a time I was at the zoo and I had, uh, I had
my sunglasses on and it went to the baboon in enclosure and there's like a glass thing
there and the baboon ran directly at the glass and slammed into it, but trying to attack
me. But you've seen like baboon teeth. Like, yeah, they're terrifying, but I know if it's
that dumb, I could probably outsmart it. But here's the thing. When you're in a situation
where it's smashing on your glass, even if it's just trying to bite through the window,
you're like, like seeing those teeth and knowing that if it got through the windshield is I'd
be like, I don't care how dumb it is. That thing could easily murder me. It's like that
chick who got her face eaten off by the chimpanzee. Look, I'm not saying it couldn't murder me.
Oh, I have, I have encountered many a creature driving through Southie that could easily
murder me, but it can't figure out the puzzle of opening my car door. Cause it's used to
taking the bus or the T everywhere. So it's never written in a car. So now luckily for
the pair, the driver was able to gather themselves long enough to get the car started and get
the fuck out of there. And just like those underage drinking girls from before, allegedly
they decided to go straight to the police to report what they had seen. Also, I think
it's important to point out that like these two women, the ones who were like in the park
eating their dinner or whatever, they had no idea about the earlier incident with the
four like young girls. Like, yeah, it wasn't news yet. No, this is like hours apart. Like
it wasn't in this. Yeah. There's no story. Uh, but either way, just like with all these
types of sightings, the police were no more going to believe like these older witnesses
than they were the younger ones. Uh, Tyra went on to say that quote, it just seemed
like they were laughing about it. They said, Oh, a monster really? Have you been drinking?
And quote, uh, I don't know if they said it like that, but that's how I read it in my
head. I mean, if I'm being honest, somebody came up to me and was like a green monster
tried to break in my car. I'd be like, did you get drunk at Fenway?
Yeah. Really? Was he trying to come fucking kill you? Philly fanatic with a baseball bat?
You know? Yeah, no, I get it. Uh, but whether or not the cops believe that there was a real
monster roaming the park or not, there was undeniably real damage done to their car.
Uh, I was actually going to ask. I was going to ask. Yeah. And it's not, not just damage,
but like just like the worst odor was like emanating from it due to like whatever like
slime it was covered in. Like this, it was like smeared across the window. Like when
it was like pounding on it, like she had to like look through like smeared slime to get
a good look at the creature. Uh, Tyra said that it was so bad that she compared it to
the scent of a decomposed animal. No. So we're still talking about Mike Pence's dick, huh?
Yeah, pretty much. Now, obviously the police couldn't ignore it. So they decided to go
and check out the park, but they weren't like, they weren't like super stoked on it. It was
more like a, like one of those like, well, guess we better mosey on down to the park
and take a look. It was like one of those. Yeah. And, uh, and they're very half hearted
search of the park. They found nothing, obviously, uh, no evidence at the scene. And I assume
they just chalked it up to like, maybe the car just did that.
Those new Japanese models. It pre-dense. Yeah. It just, it just kind of did that. Uh, they
just, and whatever, but they just kind of assume that like whatever there's all this
shit would quiet down in the morning and that this is like the last they'll hear of it.
But as we know from the Murfreesboro mud monster case, they were a hundred percent wrong. Uh,
the day after the encounter on November 2nd, the Republic newspaper printed a short article
under the headline. And I'm going to read this in my best like newscaster voice, but
it's going to be like an old timey one. Monster women report seeing beast and mill
race name of my sex tape. And, uh, an excerpt from that article read, they swear it's true.
Six young women told city police Friday and two separate reports that they had seen a
mill race monster once in broad daylight and whatever it is, the six agreed it is one green,
two hairy, three large, about six feet tall and walking upright. And four has claws.
Promise me you'll read everything like that from now on.
Whoa, whoa, on two fronts. No, I'm not going to do that. Uh, then on November 6th, the
Republic newspaper reported another sighting of the beast that happened when two men in
their twenties claimed they saw a large hairy thing standing behind some trees near a covered
bridge at around 4pm. The men were turned out. They were just a Jim Belushi's house.
The men returned later that evening with binoculars to get a good look at the thing and then told
police that once they spotted it, it chased them away. Another sighting was reported after
this on November 9th, 1974 in the Indianapolis star. And this is probably my favorite monster
sighting I've ever fucking read. And I don't know if you're ready for this. Two men, 20
year old Rick Duckworth and 19 year old John Brown worked for the city as dog catchers.
They were in the park this day, quote, studying ways to rescue cats in the trees of the park,
AKA they were getting high and just fucking around in the park. I feel like they were
absolutely fucking off from work. They had no intention of accomplishing anything other
than. Yeah, yeah, they were doing shit. Now the pair said that they spotted the mill race
monster about 200 feet away from them. As soon as it was spotted, Rick and I love him
for this was pretty much just like all of my years of dog catch dog catcher training
has led me to this moment and decided to just fucking book it after this monster. Now, according
to the newspaper, as soon as Rick took off after this thing, the monster ran away, quote,
as fast as a deer and disappeared into the woods. And then, quote, with the monster gone,
the two men obtained a ladder and lowered the cats to the ground. And as soon as they
hit the ground, the two cats took off like lightning bolts with one disappearing into
the distance and the other running into a sewer line, according to Duckworth. They were
really scared, he added. So, yeah, they were actually legitimately putting cats into trees
and figuring out how to rescue them. This is this is my favorite. They were legit. OK.
Were they taking the cats and just throwing them up in the air and hoping they stay in
a tree? What was how did that work? It didn't say, but I know I know it didn't. It never
does. I honestly don't think there were cats. I think because if they were testing out ways
to rescue cats, that means they would have either had to, A, do what you said and throw
them into the tree and hope they stay there. B, there was already cats in a tree and they're
like, this is the perfect opportunity for us to find new ways to rescue cats. Or C,
they just there was no they weren't doing it. There's no cats. They're just like, oh,
yeah, for a second, I was thinking to myself, maybe the monster chased the cats into the
tree. But that would be weird because then the monster would have to chase like two different
cats, rarely travel in pairs. Right. Yeah. Not like fucking. Yeah. Yeah. I don't I don't
know. But I love the idea of two like down on their luck dog catchers just like miserably
walking into the park with like cat carriers and just throwing cats straight up in the
air and hoping they stay in the tree. I think what happened was they got caught fucking
off in the park and then they're like, no, dude, we saw the fucking mill race monster,
man. Well, what happened was and then, you know, what happened was there was we were
the cats in the tree and then we were trying to how cats down. Oh, God, is monster. And
so, you know, I say I obviously I chased after, you know, who I am. Boss, boss, you know,
me, you know, me, I don't I don't back down. I'm afraid of shit. Yeah. I'm afraid after
it. Fucking John, whatever the guy, the guy's name was, you know, he stayed back to watch
the cats, make sure they were safe. He wanted to make sure the cats didn't fall out of the
tree and break a leg. You want to see a cat with a broken leg. You don't want you don't
want to see that boss. You know me, boss. So I ran after I couldn't catch it fast as
a deer, fast as a deer. That thing was when I came back, I was like, all right, we've
got to we've got to really, really fucking fucking straighten up and we got to get back
back on the back on the beat. We had to get back on the beat to catch dogs. Yeah. So we
know. So we grabbed the ladder, which is our first experiment. Yeah, we had the we had
the ladder with the cats. We weren't smoking weed in the tree. We wanted to get the cats
out. Yeah. You know, because we were experimenting. How you how do you rescue cats? Because normally
we would climb the tree barehanded. Right. Right. Yeah. One cat down to the other guy.
You know us. We can we can climb a tree. But with the ladder, because our hands will be
full of cats. Yeah. So we had to get on the ladder to come down. You can't you can't wrap
the cat around the tree. Like sometimes you can grab the head and the tail and like shimmy
down it. But you shouldn't do that because you can break the cat. Bad for the cat. Bad
for the cat. You know, you know, we do it the same way those people that climb trees
to get coconuts to do it. It's really. Yes. Yeah, exactly. So like bottom line, we had
12 hours overtime. Yes. Sorry about that, boss. But you monsters, you know, I was trying
to save the cats to save. Well, not really one of them here for not real. One of them
ran into a sewer line sewer. It got eaten by an alligator that someone flushed. Yeah,
didn't really do their job at all. They're not good dog catchers. Now, Rick Duckworth,
the fucking the macho man who ran after the fucking beast, he also told the star that
he had he believes that the creature is really just a large framed man wearing a green mask
and green blankets and that if he ever sees the creature again, quote, you know, I'll
try and shoot him with a tranquilizer gun that I carry to catch dogs and. Which is wild.
Like, obviously, if it's a monster, yes, shoot with tranquilizers, whatever. But if you if
you in your mind, just a guy, if you know it's a dude, you're going to riddle him with
fucking tranquilizers like he hasn't killed anything like nothing bad has really happened,
except I guess he did try to attack those two women. But back in the 70s, I don't think
anyone cared about that part of it. They just know. No, they weren't concerned with that.
Yeah. The police were like, well, why are you dressed that way? Clearly, it was trying
to get into the car. Yeah. But but either way, the prankster story is what like the officials
of the city decided to say was the cause of the sightings, which didn't sit too well with
like the people who actually saw the thing like Tyra was like, fuck you guys like tried
to eat me basically. It also didn't deter anyone, especially the droves of and we've
seen this time and time again, the droves of armed amateur monster hunters from swarming
the park in search of this thing. Nothing. Nothing says America like an armed angry villager
chasing down a cryptid. Now, the best part is that not all not all these people were
from the town. Like people came armed to the town, Kyle Rittenhouse style to protect the
property of this fucking place. One night alone, there was over a hundred cars parked
in and along the area of the park. One one paranormal investigator and native to the
area, Chris McDaniel, described the scene as, quote, People were coming out of the woodwork
and they were walking through the woods with baseball bats and shotguns. It was getting
to be a thorny situation. End quote. Now. Oh my God. Yeah. Very not good. Now, obviously,
as we've covered a bunch of times, having roving bands of armed and jumpy nerds in a
public park isn't something that law enforcement is like particularly cool with prepared for.
Yeah. Especially if that park is near a residential area, which this one was. So the park director
Robert Gilligan ordered that the park be closed at night, stating in a press release. And
this is one of my favorite quotes. He said, quote, It may become necessary to close the
park to the public at night, not because of the monster, but because of the public. The
this is the same reason they close liquor stores. Yeah. The police, the alcohol, it's
a problem. The police department even unofficially appointed officer Kenneth St. John to the
position of monster control officer. Now, I don't know if it was just for the press
or like for the public, but if I was ever a cop, this is the one promotion that I would
be eyeballing constantly. Like I would have, I would, I would have the makeup badges for
me. Yeah. I would need a badge on my sleeve. I would do like my whole, you know, gotta
be a beat cop. Do you think, but I would be like my promotion. I, I want to be the monster
control. I haven't checked to see if this is still like a thing there because it'd be
phenomenal if it was. I want to be the monster control officer too. That sounds like an amazing
job. It sounds very fulfilling. Right. Like you, you, you would never work a day in your
life because you'd be doing what you love. Yeah. You'd be throwing cats in trees. They
should have gave it to that guy. But just like in all the cases like this, after a while
the monster talk and sightings and our imposter is kind of died down and people just went
about their lives. Sure. You know, there's no resolution as to what this thing was or
why it chose to make its home in mill race park for the few weeks that it did or why
it behaved in the ways that it did. Like it ran from some, but ran at and attacked others.
And we may never know just kind of like the, you know, the Murfreesboro mud monster, but
whatever it is, it definitely impacted the lives of those that lived there for some time.
And in the case of Tyra, uh, Catiline to this day, she's still fucking hates that she saw
it. Like she didn't want to see that. Uh, but anyways, there you have it, Sarge. That
is the story of the mill race monster. How you feeling about it? I, I am still just playing
out the image of two dudes and coveralls with large, large nets, just launching cats into
trees and then being like, all right, now the orange ones are wily. So be ready for
anything. You got your sunglasses on it. We'll go for the eyes. It will go for you. It's
hard to catch a black cat cause it looks like shadows. I just like, you know, they were
just talking it up for the press. They made that whole story. They got caught. Fuck it.
Like why? Yeah. They're under the tree ripping butts, just trying to try to enjoy the night.
Oh, for those of you not regional, by the way, ripping butts is smoking cigarettes.
Yeah. I said that once in somewhat that I meant farting because that's, that's a new
England thing. You're ripping a butt kid. I still say that to this day. I don't even
smoke cigarettes anymore. I've used it. I have a drink thing. So like, yeah, right.
But you know, I'm going to go fucking rip a butt. All right. What are we doing? Let's
uh, we went off in a tangent. Oh shit. All right. So yeah, so that's it. It's very similar
to the Murfreesboro mud monster. I didn't, I should have tried to like cross reference
like dates to see it. Like, I don't mean, I don't think any rivers connect to, I mean,
sure there are in mebbing the same thing. I don't know. It's kind of different. It's
not white. Like the Murfreesboro mud monster was, it's just covered in scaly slime shit,
but I don't know. It's all fucking amazing. It makes me so happy. This is a, this is another
good one. Yeah. I wanted to, you know, we haven't really, we did, we did one monster
that like one episode that I pulled out of my ass when we got together a lot, like two
weeks ago, this one I wanted to be like, I got to fucking give them the good stuff. All
right. Although dildo merch, dildo merch did come out of the last one. So thank you again.
As soon as I get that hat, I'm wearing it and taking a picture. Yeah. Unfortunately,
in front of a church, they sent me a shirt that was said medium, but it's actually a
large and I got to shrink it, but either way I'm still going to rock it. I think I might
just cut the sleeves off and just make it like a six sleeveless, like fucking cutoff
shirt. Yeah. I mean, sleeveless life. Yeah. I'm going to rock it. No, I don't want to.
All right, sorry. Do you got anything you want to plug before we go? You can still get
my coloring book at Sajas super normal.com. Nine 99, a wonderful price for a wonderful
activity. And then, you know, follow me on the, on the socials. You just Google Saja
destroyer. I'm the only one dumb enough to use that name. So it's, it's out there forever.
And if you're at Gillette stadium tonight and you hear this, which you won't because
it will come out till Monday. Hit me up. Yeah. If you, if you ever trouble finding his socials,
you can find them all on our Instagram at a at cryptic cocktail. There's a link in the
bio that has all of that in there. You know, make sure you leave us a rating and review
on Spotify, Apple, wherever you can. We get, yeah. You know, it helps tell your friends
about us. Yeah. It helps get the word. Get it. It gets us into other people's ears. That's
not just yours or ours. Cause we hear enough of it. Yeah. Follow us. Tell us your stories
as well. Yeah. Send us some stories, please. It'd be awesome to hear some stories from
you guys and I'll keep it brief. Send us a message and email, whatever we'll read at
the end of an episode or something like that. If we get enough, maybe we'll just do a whole
episode of like listener stories. That'd be fun as shit too. Or maybe we'll just do them
at the end of the episode. Who knows? Yeah. We'll figure it out. Yeah. And then tickles
you fancy falls on Instagram, cryptic cocktail, tick tock, cryptic cocktail party, uh, Patreon
$5 a month. Just helps, you know, keep the show going. It's, you know, it's expensive
in this economy to do a podcast. It's crazy. Yeah. In this economy. It's crazy. Yeah. Thanks
Biden. Uh, anyways, he quit. Yeah, it's fine. I mean, he's still, yeah, leave the old man
alone. He quit. Well, he's still, yeah, but he still is like, he's just like, he put in
his two weeks notice. He's still work at the job. He just is like coming back at the end.
Yeah, that's true. Uh, all right. And with that, Sarge, do you want to say goodbye and
I love you to everyone? You guys, I love you.