Hey everybody! Welcome back to another episode of Cryptic Cocktail Party, a show where we
have a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown. I'm your host Dave. Today I am
joined as always by Sarge. What's going on, man? Ahoy! What's up? Oh, you know, just recuperating
from the weekend. How are you? Happy Pride, everybody! Happy Pride, happy Father's Day to
all. Thank you. Happy Father's Day to all the dads out there. Yeah, I saw you went to Pride this year.
Yeah. You got all gussied up. Is that the word? Gussied up? You had like a nice shirt on. Close
enough. Close enough. Well, so my company is very cool. They're very progressive for a biotech
especially. So we have a drag brunch every year. Hell yeah. Two things I love, drag queens and
brunch, dude. I know, right? Put those two together, it's fucking phenomenal. There is nothing better
than drag queens and some quiche. Oh yeah. Fucking bottomless mimosas. Yeah. Well, we couldn't do
the mimosas. It was a very sober, it was probably the most sober that drag queen had ever seen an
audience. But we had fun. She was amazing. But I also drag in Providence, Rhode Island was this
weekend and they do it better than Boston. Really? The only problem is, yeah, so it's all enclosed
in this one area. And so there's like a lot of security. It's nice and safe for everybody. And
you know, you still get your weirdos. You know who you are? Guys with the dog masks scared my kids,
but that's okay. I'm sorry, what? It's their event. Yeah, no, they're wearing leather dog masks.
Real, real creepy looking. But that's their thing. And you know, who am I to yuck their yum?
But there's this one guy who's always there. And last year I went, I brought my daughter and a
bunch of her friends. And I didn't think that there was anyone more gay than my daughter until
I met this gentleman. And he came up to me in adult male with these children around me. They're not,
you know, they're not, they're teenagers, but they're still children. Yeah. And looked at my
daughter of all people and was like, I don't want to offend you. But this is the most handsome man
I have ever seen in my life. And I was like, oh, that's nice. Yeah. I thought it was just being
nice. Like I didn't think, I think he probably like, originally I thought, okay, obviously that's
not a fact. So he clearly just saw a dad with his kid and was trying to build me up. But then it
escalated and he, he tried to touch me, not general wise, but just me in general. And I was like, no,
thanks. And then every time we would run into him in the area, he would start the whole spiel all
over again. And my poor daughter by this point is horrified because I'm not even, I'm not even like
a human, you know, I'm just essentially a wallet with legs. Yeah. As most dads are. So yeah. So this
year I brought my service dog, Lucy. She's not a ferocious animal by any stretch, but it created
enough of a barrier for me. Yeah. Yet this gentleman, he was there and he made eye contact.
Oh yeah. Yeah. Cause he started to come towards me and Lucy and I, I don't think I have ever made
this poor dog run this much in her life, but we immediately turned tail and I went to go find my
child because I was like, someone needs to protect me from this weird cause he's not physically
intimidating, but he has the kind of look like, like I could be in a basement and just wake up,
you know, and not know what happened. And that was my concern. He's got like a blow dart hitting
in his back pocket. He's going to put me out. He's got a, he's got like a Buffalo Bill vibe about him.
Oh, look at him. He's a big old fat person. Yeah. So I was a little scared. But other than that,
it was a wonderful time. Had a great time. I wore my free dad hug shirt. Yeah. And so I got to give
a lot of, a lot of older guys hugs, you know, and they, and they would tell me these like sad
stories about how their dad's like, you know, wouldn't, wouldn't accept who they were. And you
know, they never talked to him and stuff like that. It broke my heart. But, you know, I got to one kid
was like, Oh, my dad told me to fuck off. And I was like, yeah, well, fuck him. Yeah. Me and my dog
like you give me a hug, buddy. I'd be like, fuck right, fuck off right back. Yeah. Oh, well,
I'm glad you had a good time and also a haunting time simultaneously. Yeah. I guess.
Sir, if you're out there, don't touch me. Yeah. At least not without consent. I feel like we're
friends, but don't touch. Yeah. Speaking of pride, we, we got a couple of shirts up now for,
for order. If anyone's interested, just real quick before I bought one, I bought one immediately.
Everyone buy this shirt. It's so cool. It's on the front. It's got a little, a little circle with
the, the pride flag in it with brass knuckles. And on the back, it says, save a squash, hunt a bigot.
Got them black and white. You can go to cryptic cocktail dot threadless.com to order them. I wish
we could have got them made and then sold so we could sell them for cheaper. But I mean, this is
the easiest way to do it. So, yeah, it's stuck because you got to deal with mailing and stuff
like that. That's, that's a pain in the butt. Yeah. So, but it proceeds from the shirt. There's also
the sticker of the circle on the front you can get in the sticker of the thing on the back.
You can get as well. All the proceeds go to support the Trevor project. So definitely go check it out.
Again, it's cryptic cocktail dot threadless.com. I'll also put a link in the episode description
with that out of the way, Sarge. Yeah. I do believe we have a bit of
HULSOME CONTENT that we need to cover. I think every time it makes me happy every single time.
Yeah. You got one this week and I also have one this week. So I'll let you go first with your
wholesome content. I just wanted to give a shout out to Maggie. Apparently listened to the show
before I started, but had very nice things to say about me. And I appreciate that, Maggie. So
thank you for being so kind. And we hope you keep listening, even though I just said your name on
the air, but I didn't use your last name. No one is going to know what your last name is, mostly
because I cannot pronounce it. Yeah. But if you want to know, I will put it in the episode description.
Check the episode description for Maggie's home address, along with the link to the word
to get t-shirts with their home address on it. But anyway, Maggie, thanks for listening. Very cool.
And I hope you have a great summer. Oh, that's very nice of you. I have one. This is actually an
old, this is an old review we got on December 28th, 2023. December 28th is also my mom's birthday. So
happy early birthday, mom. This comes from a website that I don't normally check, like that
you can even leave reviews for podcasts. So this is why it's so old. It comes from AM Pearson. I
believe you know them from Twitter or something like that. Yeah. He's my boy. So they said in
their review of the show, I have long suffered from spastic diarrhea and erectile dysfunction
for many years. However, these are facts. These are facts. This podcast has cured me of both
hilarious, insightful and always interesting. My poop shoot, schlong and brain are grateful.
Thanks fellas. Love the son of pootie tang. So I fucking love that guy. He's the best. He really
is. He's he's I've known him for a couple of years now. He's a great guy. Really funny. He's
been through a lot. So I have a ton of respect for him. He's he's really overcome a great deal. So
oh yeah I'm glad he's listening. And you know thanks for being there, man. And if you want to
leave if you want to leave a comment, you want to tell us we're doing great. Or if you want to, you
know, tell tell me to shut the fuck up because they do talk a lot. We would appreciate the the
comment and the constructive feedback. Yeah. Just shoot any one of us a DM or leave a review on
Apple or wherever this was from. I can't remember or just, you know, whatever. If you want to be
part of the wholesome content crew, which is going to be the new t shirt design, just, you know,
say whatever you want. I don't know. All right, Sarge, are you ready to dive into this week's
topic? I am ready. OK, I am ready today. Sarge, we are heading to Jersey, everyone's favorite
state and definitely not a real life version of the song Hotel California that lets you come in
all willy nilly but then forces you to give it money if you want to leave. Yeah, it's it's the
setting for the Sopranos, home of the famous Jersey Shore, both the actual beach and the blight on
society that was the MTV reality show. It's also home to the small town of Hackett's Town, which
is where our story today takes place. Now, the town of Hackett'sville, for being a small town,
is home home to the headquarters of one of the biggest candy makers in the world. Mars,
they make the Mars bars, Snickers, Twix, Skittles and a bunch of other shit. Really? Yes. Fun fact,
but that's like the only fun fact about this town. It's also like a lot of shit go down for
only being a town since 1853. So like that's less than 200 years. Like in 1886, there was the murder
of Tilly Smith, a 19 year old girl who was essayed, murdered and left in a field by the school that
she worked at, which is bad enough. But the man that they got for the crime, a janitor at the
school named James Titus, was tried and convicted of the crime. But his conviction came from like
wildly circumstantial evidence, basically just like he worked at the school and was probably like a
lower income person kind of thing. You kind of get where I'm going with it. Jesus Christ. And he was
sentenced to hang, but eventually signed a confession and was just sentenced to hard labor for 19 years.
Wait, so their decision was we're either going to murder you. Yeah. Or just 19 years. No big deal.
Yeah. I don't know what hard labor is in Jersey. I'm assuming he was just like hocking t-shirts
down by the shore. I have no idea what hard labor is applying, applying spray tan to ungrateful
debutantes pretty much. And his conviction is still like contested to this day. Like no one believes
he did it. It was just like a wrong place, wrong time kind of thing. So her murder was never found
in 1925, a train wreck on the outskirts of town killed 50 people and injured another 50 people.
In 1977, a mass shooting occurred where a 20 year old former Marine in Hackett's Town high school
graduate named Emil Pierre took shots at passing cars over the course of four hours, killing six
and then himself. Then in 1994, a charity barbecue picnic organized by the Tri County Motorcycle Club
was crashed by rival members of the Pagan's Motorcycle Club and an altercation broke out
with guns and knives resulting in the death of two Pagans and three other bikers being injured.
Oddly violent behavior for historically peaceful people. The Pagans aren't exactly known for like
just through history. And then, and then a motorcycle gang was like, you know what?
We're sick of your peace shit. We're going to worship nature and kill some people.
Well, it did make sure when I was reading about this, it did make sure to say that they were an
outlaw biker gang, which I think we already kind of knew. Yeah, given the outlaw activities they
were engaged in. Yeah. And then it was reported in 2011 that there were a couple of instances
where people may or may not have seen a six to seven foot tall black and gray praying mantis
man while fishing on the Mekong River. And that's what we're going to be covering today. Your face
lit up like a Christmas tree. You really buried the lead here. You really buried the lead.
A praying mantis man. I couldn't give it away too soon. Yes, please. So I'm so excited. This all
began on July 26, 2000. My favorite insect. It's really, it's a good insect. Yeah, it is.
Praying mantis are my favorite insect. Oh, you're going to learn because they can turn their head
and look at you. And that's so fucking weird. Well, that might, we'll get there. But so,
so this all began on July 26, 2011 when paranormal investigator Lon Strickler of Phantoms and Monsters
published on his website, a wild story sent into him by a man named Paul Jax, who wrote to Strickler
about something strange he had seen while out fishing on the Mekong River. And I'm just going
to read you the email in full because it's bonkers. Are you, are you ready? Leave nothing out.
All right. So the email goes as such. Lon, I have been, I've recently been doing research
regarding an encounter I had five years ago. Fly fishing on the Mekong River in New Jersey
with my boss. I saw briefly what I could only describe as a quote unquote praying mantis man.
Although the water was clear, there had been heavy rains the past couple of days.
We should not have been out there. The river was smooth, but the current was exceptionally strong.
I was leaning backward and digging my heel into the gravel, but the river was still kicking me
along pretty well. Sketchy navigating. Please know I am quote unquote privy to the paranormal
and always have been shadow people, ghosts, whatever. But what I encountered that day was,
was not a spirit. It was a biological living creature, but it disappeared into thin air
almost as soon as I saw it. He goes on to say, for whatever reason, my searches at the time turned
up nothing, but then by chance I came across an alien race type video on YouTube and there in the
net artwork, I saw, I saw what I saw quote unquote ancient mantis leaders. So when I began, so when
I began searching mantis alien, instead of praying mantis man, I found a lot more. They say they are
interdimensional, whatever that means, but I did not get that impression. No, this creature was
cloaked and because of both my innate sensory perception skills and the particular physical
circumstances at the time, and then in parentheses important, I can add details if you are interested.
I just caught it movement out of the corner of my eye to my left. And there it was humanoid tall,
six foot at least no reference points, but I sent six, six to seven foot tall moving away from me
back to the bank in parentheses. It says I am chest high in the river. The first thing I see was
the grasshopper thigh, but bending forward like a human, then the whole form. He's looking at me
over his shoulder, moving up the bank, astonished, amazed what that I am in the water and a strong
current that I can see him. But yes, we lock eyes and this creature is astonished. I get the sense
that he can't believe I am in the water that that he can't believe I have seen him. This is starting
to read like a penthouse letter. Yeah, it's getting kind of dear penthouse. I never write these, but
he then goes on to say, I am not perturbed at all. Something of I don't, I don't know, dude.
I still don't know. Just astonishment. And he is actually trying to get away from me in the water.
Triangular head, huge slanted black eyes, just like a praying mantis. Whoa, racist. It's whole
it's whole body was gangly, knobby, but you can still sense it was powerful. And no, I would. Oh,
my God. It's I know it did just turn into a letter to penthouse. He was ribbed for my pleasure.
I would not say it was a quote unquote big bug. It was definitely humanoid, despite the mantis
insect qualities. No, I did not tell my boss about this, who was in the water to about 50 yards behind
me at the time. And being privy to being privy to the paranormal, you just see these things and
sort of go, OK, no, no fear, no nothing. But I do get the sense that my quote unquote whatever
attitude contributed to this creature's astonishment. Frankly, I didn't give the
encounter much thought until recently. I can forward to more details. I just believe now that
this encounter was somehow very important. And that's the end of the first. Oh, you saw a six
foot mantis and you're like, no big deal. I'm going to think about this again. Just so nonchalant
about it. Like, what the fuck? So. Long rights back asking for more details, and this is this
is the follow up email, I guess this took place in Hackettstown, New Jersey, the stretch of the
Mekong River here is unusual in that it's West Bank Borders Route 46, but the East Bank, where
we were fishing borders, fields and farmlands, no bank to speak of on the developed side. But
the sloping bank on the rural side was high, maybe 10 feet, a strip of trees about 10 to 20
yards thick separated the river from the fields beyond. But there was the occasional gap slash
path, each about 20 yards wide that allowed clear access to the river. As I mentioned, the weather
had been bad the previous several days and the sky was white and heavy. It was mid afternoon. When I
saw the mantis man, it was in one of these gaps, moving back up the bank towards the field, looking
back at me over its shoulder about 15 to 20 yards away. That is so close to be so nonchalant about
it. You know what I mean? Like that is also I know this isn't the point, but I heard white and heavy
and I feel attacked. Well, I mean, that guy at Pride would have begged to differ. I you know,
I do I do have a certain fan base and they like bears apparently. So the email continues. So I
understand that it was several feet above me. He was looking up at it and framed clearly against
the blank white sky like a full ghost apparition. It was indeed clear, but nevertheless nearly
transparent and fading fast. Oh yeah, he's saying that this thing was like cloaked. I don't know if
you got that from these emails. No, I know I did. I did pick up that part. OK, basically he was
seeing like a predator glimmer. I feel like is what he's like. No, I think he's talking about like
a cape, like a fucking like invisibility cloak from like Harry Potter. Yeah, like Zorak from Space
Ghost Coast to Coast, the large cartoon praying mantis on that show. No, I think he say I think
it's cloaked. I think he's saying that it has a cloaking. I mean, he could see the legs and the
arms and shit. You wouldn't be able to see that. Based on this guy's email, he seems like someone who
owns a lot of cloaks and probably attends more than a few renfares. Do you think the do you think
you think the renfair community and the fly fishing community, like the Venn diagram, do you think
that's I don't think it really fits. I mean, I've been fly fishing and I've been to a renfair, so I
can't really. But I'm not like a regular at either. But the thing he said, something that really struck
that really piqued my interest when he said he was chest deep. So I've been fly fishing and you
wear you wear waders. Right. Yeah. And you don't want to get that deep because like if there's
like a little bit of surge of water or whatever, it's going to fill up your fucking waders.
So it's already like, what are you talking about? I've never gone deeper than waist deep in the water
because if you fall in, that thing fills up and you're fucked. Yeah. Well, you know,
this could all could be not real. So I. Yeah. All right. I don't know where I think this guy was
typing that with one hand. I don't remember where I left off. I'm just going to start from where I
am. So I derailed you. I apologize. You left off with him. We were talking about the bank and then
you had mentioned the cloak. And that's where I took it in another direction. So, oh yeah. So
he said that he would. So understand that it was several feet above me. I looked up at it and
framed clearly against the blank white sky, like a full ghost apparition. That's why I don't think
it was a cloak. I think it was like a ghost. Like it was like a full body thing. Yeah. Maybe it was
just it was indeed clear, but nevertheless, nearly transparent, fading fast. Then it, quote unquote,
evaporated mid stride. Again, I stress the strong impression impression that the mantis man was
cloaked and I, quote unquote, caught it just right. It abruptly found itself against a new blank
background. It was adjusting quickly. No, I do not believe it slipped into another dimension slash
plane. I detected movement and first saw that strong left, strong left thigh and strong right
calf. Oh, come on. Then the whole thing. And immediately those eyes slash face, the whole
encounter was only a couple of seconds. I could not tell you with any strong certainty what its
feet or hands looked like. I wasn't looking there just at those strong fucking calves, apparently,
but I can tell you that its arms were normal. It's fair. And not the literal mantis face.
And not the literal mantis four legs. I have recently seen in drawings of these, quote unquote,
aliens. That's really about it. If you have any questions, please contact me. All right. So that's
that's that one sighting. OK, now the next report of a mantis man sighting came on December 19th,
2012 when Lon Strickler posted on posted an update on his website talking about how he had come across
a post on the forum Hackettstownlife.com, which is basically like a it's a full website, but it's
basically just one big version of those Facebook neighborhood groups like the ones where like, OK,
you know, like with that fire, those fireworks or gunshots like that, that kind of shit gets
posted there. Anyways, he posted a link to the post. And luckily for us, that post is still up.
And I was able to find I just want to I just want to I want like an unabashed, non-biased
detail of this event written by someone who wasn't buffing their musket the entire time.
Well, luckily for you. So this this post is from someone. How do I word this is a third hand
account, I guess, like someone told him this story and now he's secondhand account. You know, I mean,
it's probably the same guy. He's just like, hey, man, I don't think so.
So this is how the post on the Hackettstownlife.com forum goes. It goes, I like a good story like
anyone else. But my friend told me a story today that was so profound that I felt the need to share
it with the rest of the town. This friend of mine who told me this story is a very successful
businessman. Deep into our conversation today, he started tearing up uncontrollably and told me he
had something to get off his chest that had been eating him at him for some time. I hope you're
ready for this because I wasn't. Apparently about a year ago, my friend and his brother were down at
Stephen State Park fishing right around dusk. During this time, while his brother was roughly
50 yards downstream fishing, he said he felt this strange vibration in his right ear. And from that,
he turned and looked to the right. When he turned and looked to the right, he said he saw the six to
seven foot tall praying mantis looking man just standing there and unable to believe that he could
see him. He said the creature was black and gray. And to be quite honest, the way my buddy was telling
me the story, I was having a tough time. I know he saw this thing because I could see it in his face.
Anyhow, we Googled praying mantis man on, uh, McCong right after that. And it turns out my friend
is not alone. And then he posts a link to the first sighting. Now, the thing about this forum
is that they allow you to leave comments on here. So people are responding to this. Um,
this one says, looks more alien than mantis. And then this one says maybe moth man. This one just
straight up says LMFAO. And then there's a response from the original poster and it says,
coincidentally, I just happened to run into the teller of the story as I, as I speak while out.
Oh my God. Coincidentally, I just, this is obviously poor grammar and whatever, because yeah,
coincidentally, I just happened to run in, run into the teller of this story as I speak while out to
dinner with my wife. I told them that I posted his tail on the local forum. And then after freaking
out, he saw how some people actually believe him. Now, when it comes to something like this, I would
never denigrate, denigrate, denigrate either one of our credibility. But I just had him tell me the
story again. And if he's not telling the truth, then he certainly believes he is needless to say.
And incidentally, he's freaked. He's freaked me out all over again. He actually just admitted
that he wet himself during these brief seconds and he sat down in the water. So his brother didn't
think he pissed his pants. I'm happy. I'm happy. Some of you take this to heart because on the
karma, which I live by, whether this guy saw this thing or not, he is telling the truth,
a truth he believes wholeheartedly. That is, that is, I, I don't know if you have ever peed your
pants out of fear, but I have never peed my pants out of fear as an adult, as a child I did once.
But I had good reason to be scared as an adult. I have been some hairy situations and I have never
once peed myself. Now, I'm not saying that because I'm super tough. What I'm saying is, holy shit,
this guy must have been either terrified or he just had to pee really bad. And this was his
excuse. Yeah. Cause his brother definitely noticed, Oh, there was a fucking mantis, man.
I better sit in the water for a second. It's January. So when this started and he was like,
my friend had something to tell me and there were tears in his eyes.
Me personally, I would have gone on the emotional journey of, Oh, Tim killed a guy.
You know what I mean? And he's like, I saw a mantis. That's not a reason to cry. I don't think.
I mean, if it was scary enough for him to piss his pants, it might be traumatizing.
I feel like I would still be laughing while telling this story to somebody. But then again,
as a former member of the United States military, we take great pride in embarrassing stories about
ourselves. No, no, embarrassing stories about ourselves. If I peed myself in Iraq, I promise
you, I would tell you about it because it would be hilarious to me. The best part about all this is
that, like I said, it's not even the witness who posted this or the follow up comment. Like his,
like whoever this dude is, like his buddy told him this in pretty much like confidence. And then he
just decided to blast that shit on the town forum for the whole town to see. Now, the best part about
these two stories is that both of these men were anonymous, so no one knew who they were.
Right. But eventually this was covered by a show called Monsters and Mysteries in America on the
Travel Channel. And now thanks to that show, we know the name of the first person, but also
the whole town knows the name of the second person who pissed himself after seeing the Mantis Man.
Oh, yes.
And his name is-
Do we have a photo?
His name is-
I need to see him.
Is Joe Parenti. I don't have a photo of him, but I'm sure I can find one.
Joe Parenti. So Joe Parenti will never tell that guy anything ever again.
No. And Joe, this is a message for you. I'm sure you're not listening,
but you need better friends, man, because-
Yeah, that's fucked up, dude.
My friends told me that in confidence, and then they were just like, fuck you.
Joe, I'm telling you right now, bro, I would never tell anyone that you peed yourself.
That is your story.
Yeah. Own it if you're going to tell it, but like-
That's so messed up, man.
Yeah. So basically the show docks both these people.
And the first one-
That's so messed up.
The first one's fine, but to have Joe's name out there after his buddy in a town
forum admitted to him pissing his pants because he saw a mantis man, and he says he's a successful
businessman, like they probably fucked up his whole shit.
Like-
Of course.
His whole stock on a blast.
Like the first guy, he's just a town sex pest, and I guarantee you, everyone knows who he is.
Because I'm sure he describes everyone by their caps.
Yeah. They're strong mantis legs.
But the second guy-
Yeah. Oh, just rippling muscles with knobs. Oh man, it was amazing and scary. I didn't come at all.
I hope he wasn't borrowing those waiters. I hope he didn't do a dry clean afterwards.
No. After the episode of Monsters and Mysteries in America aired,
Lon Strickler would continue to get emails and messages from people claiming to see this thing.
Like this one he posted about where a witness claimed that they had a childhood memory that they
passed off as a dream in where they were on a sidewalk near where the original sightings took
place, and they were surrounded by three of these human-sized praying mantises when suddenly they
disappeared, and the witness claimed they, quote, felt a warm assurance of friendship, end quote.
Fucking sure you did, bud.
Yeah. Maybe they just peed in the water.
Yeah. That's what that warm feeling was.
They were in a cloud of warmth.
A cloud of warmth. Now, there are some other sightings, but the only other one that I think
is pretty cool is a person contacted Strickler claiming that he had actually made contact with
these beings all the way back in the year of our Lord 1987, but this time with some wild new details
that could only come from what I would describe as a crazy person. He said, quote, they communicated
through some manner whereby they connected to the inside of my head through the brain behind both
ears, whatever the fuck that means. He then said, quote, I got the distinct impression that they
were cold and insect-like. Logical-
What gave it away, the mantis faces?
I didn't want to say. I was about to say.
I'm sorry.
Logical with very little in the way of emotion or compassion, which frightened me the most.
The other impression I got from this was that they believe themselves to be our superiors.
Like we believe about animals in our world, to be our superiors. Is that what I said? I don't
remember. I'm not even drinking this episode and I can't even fucking get this shit straight.
Whatever they were-
Let's see, cold, logical, tall, skinny. So literally just the skinny guy from Big Bang Theory.
Yeah. And he goes on to say whatever they were deciding, it was based on this belief. In other
words, for our own good or the greater picture, end quote. So like I said, that could be either
the ramblings of a madman or this is actually like one of the few times where like it sounds
kind of legit. Yeah, they're either nuts or this was like a life-changing experience.
Yeah. So this leaves us with one question, Sarge. Just what is or are or were these mantis men?
A couple of theories include alien, which if you know the different races of alien,
insectoid is one of them. It does kind of sound like the description of that.
I played XCOM. I know all the different races of aliens.
Do you?
Yeah. The grays, insectoids, the ethereals. I'm all about it.
All right.
Chrysalids. What is it? The other one, what's that one that everyone?
Palladiums. I know that's one. I know I heard that on some.
And then the blobs and the mutons.
I think some of these might've been made up for the game. Sorry.
No, you had like the pink one, the pink one that would float and shoot acid at you.
Again, I think that one might be made up for the game. I don't know.
No, I don't believe you.
Okay.
No, it looked like a tonsil. It looked like an extracted tonsil that had mutated and it was
squirting green stuff.
Yeah. Are they terrestrial? Like are they of this world?
Only popping up in this one small town in Jersey every few years, like a cicada.
Maybe they are some sort of like fucked up experiment gone wrong or possibly even
interdimensional, which I mean, to me that just puts them right up there with alien.
I feel like alien, interdimensional, that is kind of like an alien thing to me.
But whatever it is, it's a fucking nightmare and I don't ever want to see one. So there you have it.
I kind of do. I kind of do. I love mantis. I just think they're the coolest looking insects.
So I had never seen one up until I was like maybe 10 or 11 years old. My dad would tell me stories
about when he was a kid, they would find praying mantis and they would tie like little strings
around their around their necks and then tie them to their bedpost. And they would keep the mantis
around to eat like mosquitoes. OK, I'm not familiar with exactly how it worked. My dad did a lot of
weird shit when I was a kid, when he was a kid. So I don't know. But when I was a little boy, I went
to I don't know if you guys had this chain up in New Hampshire. We had the Hilltop Steakhouse.
And so we found one. They had like a little they had a restaurant and then a grocery store.
And it was like a great it was like a butcher shop. So it was like a great place to get like good cuts
of meat. So we're in Hilltop and there's a praying mantis, a green mantis sitting on
the fruit. OK. And so people are freaking out because, you know, like they're big.
I know they are big and they're kind of creepy looking. They're bigger than what you expect.
What you expect them to be. If you've never seen one in real life, they are much larger than what
you would ever think they were. They're terrifying. Yeah. So I think this little guy up,
I think they're endangered. I don't think you're allowed to pick them up. I think you kind of just
let them. It's like when you hit a golf ball and like you have to let it lay where it play it where
it lands. Well, the way I was looking at it was he's either going to get murdered by someone who's
terrified of it in this grocery store or I can just let him go outside. So I picked a little guy up
and I brought him outside and the whole time I'm like scared because I don't I've never seen one
before. I didn't know it was going to be that big or that it was going to do anything. But I put it
down and it was totally fine. And it just kind of like it like walked away. And I was. But now I see
them every once in a while. I see them. I probably see like one or two a summer. Yeah, that sounds
that sounds about right. Because I live near some woods. There's like a little swampy area in the
woods. So I see like one or two a summer and they're just the coolest fucking insects on Earth. I
don't I know people scare them, but I just think that especially when they turn their head, it just
I don't know why I get so fascinated by it. Now, it just looks you in the eye and it's amazing.
Now, what if that was six foot six to seven feet tall and had just the strongest legs you've ever
seen? I'd hire him for my basketball team. I would start a pickup league, you know, because if you
lose, he'll he could just prey on the winning team. That's fair. Yeah. All right. He's like
they're basically an Eastern European draft pick, you know. Yeah, they're just there to play
basketball and nothing else. They don't speak because no one understands what they say anyway.
And if they do, you can tell they're they're just there for the job. They do not give a fuck about
basketball. Yeah, no, they're just there to make money for their their 18 siblings. Yeah. Well,
so their father doesn't lose the pig farm that they have in Estonia. Jesus Christ. All right,
so that's the whole backstory. That's the end of the Mantis Man episode. I can tell you're psyched
on it. I definitely I love it. I do not want to see this thing, but I'll become friends with them.
I'm sure you probably fucking would. I don't doubt that for a second immediately. I mean,
I want this to be so real. It could be. I mean, as far as I know, everyone who says they've seen it
hasn't like they don't know each other. You know what I mean? Like it's not like they're all
talking to each other. But on the other hand, all of these sightings and reports seem to be
funneled through this one dude on his website, which kind of makes it a little. That just means
we need to interview this man. Vaughn, we need to gauge his. Yeah, we need to interview him. We need
to gauge his credibility. I'm sure he'd be. I'm sure he would be down to come on, maybe. I don't
if he's a lot. I don't know if he's even a lot. I know nothing about this man. I just know that he's
going to reach out to him. We're going to talk to his family. Would you say he's a credible man?
Yeah, well, we'll do that. If you want to find a link to all of his family's email addresses,
it'll be in the description below. We're also going to put their faces on a T-shirt as well.
So you're not alone, Maggie. Yeah. All right. Well, with that out of the way, Sarge,
do you got anything you want to plug real quick before we? Yeah, I have a comic book coming out.
I mean, I'm sorry, not a comic book. Pardon my language. A coloring book coming out.
There's going to be a word search. There's going to be word searches in there and mazes
and you can color pictures of me and this swears in it. So don't give it to your kids. Yeah.
Yeah. That'll come out July 5th. July 5th. There'll be a link in my Instagram bio.
Very excited. The goal is for everyone to buy it on July 5th so that I can get a bestseller
sticker on it and then fucking take that. High school guidance counselor. I got a bestselling
author who I mean, it's mostly pictures, but I did it. You know, you did it. You did it.
Yeah. Very excited. I'm doing it through Belmont city publishing. They're a local group out of
Braintree mass. So I'm very, very excited. I cannot wait for this thing to come out.
Awesome. And we'll, I'm sure we'll post links to it everywhere. Not just in your bio.
Yeah. As soon as I get a link, there should be a link ready by, by next episode. So buy my weird
comic book. There's going to be, there's a whole word search for cryptids in there. Can they,
is it like pre-orders too, or do they have to buy it? I wish it were pre-orders, but unfortunately
got to buy it on the day. Because we're going to go through Amazon for distribution. Gotcha.
We could do it the other way, but it would just take so much longer to get it out and take so
much longer for us to produce it. And it would cost a lot more. Right now we're really selling it
just a dollar over cost. And that's just so the publisher can get their money back.
But yeah, please buy it. It's, it's literally just for fun. It's kind of like, I'm really not
looking to make any, I'm not expecting to make a dime off of this. If I do, it'll be a miracle.
But the idea behind it was just, it's scary right now. Yeah. Especially if you're in the,
you know, LGBTQ community or another mine, a historically marginalized community in this
country. And so I thought it might be nice to just have a little bit of a, a little bit of a
distraction. I would be nuts to think that this is going to, you know, make your life better,
but it might give you an hour or two of fun. So you don't think this will solve all the problems?
I'm pretty confident it won't. You know, here's hoping I'm typically an optimist,
but in this instance, I feel like there's a lot more to be fixed than some crayons in some,
use a pencil so you can erase. But other than that, yeah, please, please get it. It would be
so much fun for all of us to color together. I thought maybe doing a TikTok live, we can all
color it together before TikTok goes down the shitter, but that's what I got coming out. And
there is a new episode of citizens guide coming out. Things have been a little crazy, finalizing
the coloring book and Maynard's been busy in his professional life. But we already recorded the
episode. We just got to get it out. Gotcha. Well, I'm looking forward to both of those things.
What do we got? We got the T-shirts, which I plug at the beginning of the episode.
Oh, the T-shirts are awesome. Get a T-shirt, support the Trevor Project,
save a Sasquatch, hunt a bigot. Yeah, I love that. Well, save a big foot, right?
Save a big foot. Hunt a bigot. Save a squash.
Save a squash. Yeah, that's right. Save a squash, hunt a bigot.
We also got the Patreon. I bought one immediately.
Got the Patreon, it's five dollars a month. And then we got, I think that's it. Follow us
on Cryptic Cocktail. If you want to follow Sarge on his, all of his platforms, you can go to the
Instagram Cryptic Cocktail. There's a link to all those in our link tree. And I think with that,
I think that's everything, Sarge. Would you like to say goodbye to the audience?
Yeah. Happy Father's Day. Happy Pride. And if the pride thing bothers you,
if the pride thing bothers you, I apologize for your stupidity.