1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:27,360 Hey everybody. Welcome back to another episode of cryptic cocktail party, a show where we 2 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:31,480 have a few drinks, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown. I am your host Dave. 3 00:00:31,480 --> 00:00:36,080 And today I am joined as always by Sarge the destroyer. What is going on? You handsome 4 00:00:36,080 --> 00:00:43,440 fuck. What is up? I cannot get the fucking Temu commercial out of my head. What's the 5 00:00:43,440 --> 00:00:49,760 Temu commercial? It's on YouTube and I watch a lot of YouTube videos while I'm working. 6 00:00:49,760 --> 00:01:01,440 And the commercial comes up a lot and it's the chorus is Oh, Temu. And I just want to, 7 00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:07,280 I want to get in a plane and fly to China and burn down the Temu home offices. I didn't 8 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:12,720 even know Temu head commercials. I assumed it was such a scam that they were just like, 9 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:17,040 well, so that was really interesting to find out as well. I mean, I wasn't going to shop 10 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:25,080 there anyway, because I don't trust any Lego set that's $2. But I, my daughter apparently 11 00:01:25,080 --> 00:01:31,600 is very involved in everything aside from doing her homework and explained to me that 12 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:40,440 Temu basically like makes poisonous toys. And then I looked it up and like literally it's 13 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:48,200 she's not even lying. Like they have all these like different recalls in things that they 14 00:01:48,200 --> 00:01:55,920 have been found with like an absurd fucking lead paint content. I mean, that tracks though 15 00:01:55,920 --> 00:02:02,800 toxic paints and stuff. And I'm like, how are we even allowing this? Like, but then 16 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:10,200 I wonder like, what's wrong with us as a, as a species that we're like, Oh, it's $2. 17 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:14,160 Let me buy it and just roll the dice and see what happens. 18 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:19,480 Well, cause the only experience I have with Temu is I never ordered anything from it, 19 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:24,000 but you know, like when you first started Tik Tok and like your for you page, you have 20 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:29,240 to like kind of curate it to what you want it to be. When I first started mine, it was 21 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:34,740 literally just like, look what I got out. It was like Temu hall like videos, like look 22 00:02:34,740 --> 00:02:41,040 what I got for $17 and they got like 8,000 things. And it's like, I got this Xbox series 23 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:46,160 one, like, yeah, it was like, you can't. And then like a month later, it's like, I bought 24 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:51,880 this dress off Temu and it smells like straight up chemicals. And it's like, well, yeah, dude, 25 00:02:51,880 --> 00:02:59,240 like no shit. It was, well, when you spend 12 cents on a garment, you can't expect it 26 00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:06,400 to be fine. A high fashion. Yeah. It was made, it was stitched by the tiniest of hands, I'm 27 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:14,320 assuming. Anytime you order anything from Temu, there's a, there's a less than zero 28 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:20,400 chance of, I mean, there's a, not a zero chance, but a slight chance you're going to get some 29 00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:26,800 depleted uranium. Yeah. You might get like some nuclear nuclear waste stitched into your 30 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:31,600 t-shirt. It's glow in the dark, but that's because it's radium. So I always thought it 31 00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:37,720 was kind of like an Alibaba situation because Alibaba is actually pretty good, but every 32 00:03:37,720 --> 00:03:42,880 once in a while you'll get like something sketchy. So the problem I have with Alibaba 33 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:50,480 is that it's named for a thief. You know, I don't think that's a good idea to buy something 34 00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:56,080 when your company. Was Alibaba the thief or was he just, cause he wasn't part of the 40 35 00:03:56,080 --> 00:04:02,640 thieves. He was, I, but I think it's Alibaba and the 40 thieves. So I believe he's part 36 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:09,080 of the team. Is he like, let me, uh, let me do some quick Googling and find out who Alibaba 37 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:14,160 was. All right. While you do that, can you also, can you put a blanket over your bird 38 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:19,640 because editing that out is the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life. I try so hard. 39 00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:25,440 Okay. All right. Give me a sec. I got you right. I didn't even think about her. Sammy, shut 40 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:31,120 the fuck up. We're trying to record. She's like, Oh, it's nighttime now. It's amazing 41 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:36,320 how quickly that works. It's bonkers. Yeah. It's immediate. Yeah. She still makes some 42 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:43,120 noise, but it's very quiet. Yeah. She's whispering. She's like, it's nighttime now. I don't want 43 00:04:43,120 --> 00:04:47,760 to wake anyone up. At least it doesn't, it'd be different if it was a bird that talked 44 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:52,720 and it was just like, fuck you the entire time. I'd be like, Oh God, I wish I tried 45 00:04:52,720 --> 00:04:56,720 desperately to teach her words. Cause she, she's supposed to be able to say like a couple 46 00:04:56,720 --> 00:05:01,040 of words, but she doesn't say shit. She probably does. She just whispers it at night when no 47 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:05,520 one's around. Yeah. Well, she's, she's such an ungrateful asshole. Cause like I feed her, 48 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:09,840 I give her water, I give her toys. She won't come near me. She's terrified of me. Yeah. 49 00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:13,360 And it's not like I'm some big monster that comes running, like rattling the cage and 50 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:18,360 shaking it up and shit. Like I just like talk to her kindly. Yeah. And she's like, nah, 51 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:23,520 fuck you. All right, Sarge, are you ready to dive into today's episode? Let's go. Let's 52 00:05:23,520 --> 00:05:31,440 go. So today I have three stories for you. Oh God. We are going to do, uh, I don't know. 53 00:05:31,440 --> 00:05:35,080 How would I word this? Like one off sighting cryptids. Like cryptids that have only been 54 00:05:35,080 --> 00:05:41,520 seen once and then never again. Oh, okay. All right. I'm ready for this. Does that make 55 00:05:41,520 --> 00:05:46,000 sense? Like it was just like a one time sighting? Yeah. Yeah. Jimmy Carter had one of those. 56 00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:53,520 Was it a cryptic or UFO? President Jimmy Carter. He had both. He spotted a UFO and he, okay, 57 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:59,200 this is going to sound ridiculous. It's going to be, this is going to be another Paul Revere 58 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:03,920 and the rum situation. Um, which no one's going to get that reference cause we talked 59 00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:10,760 about it before we started recording. But, um, so Jimmy Carter claims that he was chased. 60 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:18,680 I can't even say it all out. He claims he was chased by a giant rabbit. Okay. He was 61 00:06:18,680 --> 00:06:24,160 in a boat. He was in like a, either a rowboat or a canoe. He was on the water in the shaft. 62 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:31,280 Yeah. He was chased a rabbit. I believe, and maybe I'm messing the story up, but if I understand 63 00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:37,880 correctly, he was chased into his boat by a giant rabbit. Okay. I'm going to have to 64 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:41,200 look into that and we're going to have to hold, do a whole episode on just, just to 65 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:46,920 like, I, yeah, we need to, cause I would be so excited. The episode will be the rabbit 66 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:52,840 story and the UFO story. All right. So you're ready to start this thing? These, these are, 67 00:06:52,840 --> 00:06:56,920 let's go. All right. So I got three of them. And the first one is kind of like close to 68 00:06:56,920 --> 00:07:04,480 home. Uh, this is a, the slong lump monster. Okay. That's long lump. Yeah. There's, you'll 69 00:07:04,480 --> 00:07:09,520 understand why it's named that in a little bit. Uh, so this actually happened in Berwick, 70 00:07:09,520 --> 00:07:14,720 Maine, which is like two minutes from where I grew up. And actually in high school, I 71 00:07:14,720 --> 00:07:19,680 lived in Berwick, Maine for like a hot minute. Um, oh, nice. Yeah. And I had never heard 72 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:24,480 of this story before. I had to like dive deep into the, like the annals of the internet 73 00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:28,880 to like find, cause we've already covered most of like the one-off cryptid things. So 74 00:07:28,880 --> 00:07:33,880 a lot of these, I don't know how they're. I think you meant annals of the internet. 75 00:07:33,880 --> 00:07:38,600 Cause if you went into the annals of the internet, you're going to, yeah, people are going to 76 00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:41,760 wonder about your search history. That was a different website. Well, I do most of these 77 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:47,680 searches in Cognito mode anyways, so no one will ever know. Fair enough. So slong lump 78 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:55,320 monster on August 23rd, 1972 at around 1 30 AM, 24 year old Mary, uh, no last name given 79 00:07:55,320 --> 00:08:00,680 obvious. Cause of course not. Uh, who was driving along pine road in Berwick, Maine 80 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:06,040 towards long swamp road on her way home to Lebanon. Now, if you're familiar with the 81 00:08:06,040 --> 00:08:11,320 area, long swamp road connects to route two Oh two. Um, it's like the fastest way to get 82 00:08:11,320 --> 00:08:16,000 there. If you're coming over the bridge from New Hampshire. Um, now as Mary turns off of 83 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:20,280 pine Hill road and makes her way up long swamp road, she notices something crouched down 84 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:24,280 on the left side of the road near some brush right around where Johnny lane and long swap 85 00:08:24,280 --> 00:08:29,320 internet intersect. Now she doesn't get a good look at it at first, but she described 86 00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:33,920 it as big and that his eyes glowed like a bright kind of red when the headlights of 87 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:39,400 her car passed by it. She didn't stop to check it out or really think much of it and chalked 88 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:44,760 it up to being a bear or something like that. Bears aren't like super common around there 89 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:48,960 because it's, it's kind of populated. It's still wooded area, but they also don't have 90 00:08:48,960 --> 00:08:55,080 red eyes. So that would have been a clue for me. Uh, bears actually, uh, when they reflect 91 00:08:55,080 --> 00:09:01,560 light back off of them, it is like an orangey red kind of color. Yeah. Uh, I don't know 92 00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:05,920 if it's all bears, but I would shit my pants immediately. Yeah. Bears bears eyes, like 93 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:11,400 with the cones, when they reflect light, it is like an orangey red kind of color. Um, 94 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:16,200 so on her part, that was a safe assumption, a conclusion that most would probably come 95 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:22,560 to I think, I mean, I didn't know that until I looked it up. Yeah, I'm the, I'm the idiot 96 00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:28,160 here. Cause I'm like, red eyes. You're crazy. Yeah. You see any glowing red eyes in the 97 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:33,320 woods of like, that's a demon. Uh, but it's immediately what I would do. But also I'd 98 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:39,320 be like, Oh, it's Satan. I'm fucked. Yeah. But also it's also a bear. Like either way, 99 00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:43,920 it's not going to be good for you if it decides to fucking be like, I'm coming at you. Like, 100 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:48,760 yeah, it's all bad. It's a problem. Uh, so anyway, so she just continues on her way and 101 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:54,520 after a half mile or so, she notices this thing again, but this time it's not on the 102 00:09:54,520 --> 00:10:00,360 side of the road. It's in her side view mirror. And this thing is fucking just chasing down 103 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:06,400 her car. So she described whatever this thing was as being anywhere between seven to nine 104 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:13,680 feet tall, covered in a black, almost like feathery kind of like coating, a snouted snarling 105 00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:20,000 face, clawed hands that were almost like an, like in a reaching out like pose. And it was 106 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:27,360 chasing down her car on two legs and it possibly had a tail. Are we sure it wasn't just somebody 107 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:31,720 trying to get to the Met Gala? She's they wear some weird shit. She's describing and 108 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:37,640 she didn't actually say this, but she's describing like a velociraptor. It's like, like, you 109 00:10:37,640 --> 00:10:41,720 know what I mean? Like in Jurassic Park, when they like do that starling thing and they 110 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:46,360 have their hands like clawed out, it's that but covered in feathers, which I mean, technically, 111 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:53,640 I guess is historically more accurate. Yeah. I mean, the thing is, and I don't want to 112 00:10:53,640 --> 00:10:59,160 go off in a tangent here, but I'm gonna anyway, cause you know me, but did it ruin dinosaurs 113 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:02,680 for you when you found out a lot of them had feathers? Cause it just, to me, it made them 114 00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:07,080 less scary. I was like, Oh, it's not bad ass that you just look like Big Bird. It didn't 115 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:13,440 because there's a, there's two shows that I watch on repeat, usually when I'm falling 116 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:22,080 asleep and it's a, there's a, on Apple TV, there is a David Attenborough narrating dinosaur 117 00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:26,320 show. I know the one you're talking about. Yeah. Some of those dinosaurs covered in feathers, 118 00:11:26,320 --> 00:11:30,800 I would not fuck with. There's one that just fucking books it and it's a nightmare and 119 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:35,280 it's like a fucking thing. The terror bird. I'm all set. Oh yeah. No. So the, the thing 120 00:11:35,280 --> 00:11:39,760 is I think it's cause they don't fly. I just immediately associate them with chickens and 121 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:43,280 Turkey. Yeah. But they're like eight feet tall and we'll fucking, it's like an OST, 122 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:47,720 like ostriches are fucking terrifying. Oh yeah. No, actually now that you say that, 123 00:11:47,720 --> 00:11:52,240 no, you're right. Like an ostrich or an emu will fucking murder either. We have no chance. 124 00:11:52,240 --> 00:11:57,580 Oh yeah. It's like you, as a guy I watch on YouTube, he has like a wildlife sanctuary 125 00:11:57,580 --> 00:12:04,320 in New Jersey. This is a, this ostrich that just keeps trying to eat them. The ostrich 126 00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:09,200 just doesn't like them. And he said like the only way you can get it to behave is if he, 127 00:12:09,200 --> 00:12:18,080 if he hits it in the head, with like a plastic lid from a bucket to feed the other animals 128 00:12:18,080 --> 00:12:21,040 and he's like feeding the animals and the ostrich comes over and he's just like thunk. 129 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:26,600 He's got like, he's just like a shield. That's pretty good. And the side of the head that 130 00:12:26,600 --> 00:12:36,600 it runs away. Anyway, anyway, so, okay. So we've got a seven to nine foot tall feathery 131 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:43,800 raptor, Claude red eyed demon raptor. Yes. Now she said at the time she must've been 132 00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:48,200 going at least 50 miles an hour and this thing was close enough to her bumper. Like it was 133 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:52,880 keeping pace. The, the tail lights of her car were illuminating its entire fucking body, 134 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:56,240 which makes this even more terrifying, which means that it's like illuminated in red and 135 00:12:56,240 --> 00:13:01,320 she's like seeing it like right in the rear view mirror. Like she's not like turning around 136 00:13:01,320 --> 00:13:07,640 to look at like it's fucking terrifying. Now she sped up in hopes of out running the creature 137 00:13:07,640 --> 00:13:12,400 or at the very least like tiring it out. Yeah. But even getting up to speeds of what she 138 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:17,020 said was 70 miles an hour, the creature kept pace, even at one point slamming its body 139 00:13:17,020 --> 00:13:22,520 into the side of her car, almost causing Mary to lose control, which I mean, yeah. So, so 140 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:28,400 long swamp road, if you're not familiar with it, uh, is super windy. Uh, there's also like 141 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:33,840 one street light on this entire road. It's fucking fair. It's a nightmare road, but it's 142 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:38,880 also in the woods of Berwick leading up to Lebanon. So, uh, people speed down it all 143 00:13:38,880 --> 00:13:42,600 the time. So it's kind of like, it's like super easy to like lose control. Like if you, 144 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:46,200 if you're going down this road during the day, you'll see like just like black skid 145 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:52,240 marks just like, you see them on every road in New Hampshire, Maine though. Yeah. So it's 146 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:56,280 super easy to lose control. Even if you don't have a giant bird Raptor trying to like fuck 147 00:13:56,280 --> 00:14:01,600 you up for no reason. Um, now this continued for what Mary claimed or what she said it 148 00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:06,200 felt like it was like 10 minutes, but it probably really wasn't. It's not that long of a road. 149 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:10,600 Like it's a long road, but it's not 10 minutes going 70 miles an hour long. You know what 150 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:14,000 I mean? Like you would have been in and out if you're doing 70 the entire time. So it's 151 00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:17,800 probably only like a couple of minutes. She didn't manage to out run it, but luckily another 152 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:21,480 car was coming down long swap road in the opposite direction and either the creature 153 00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:27,480 got spooked or got bored either way. It darted into the woods never to be seen again. Uh, 154 00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:32,320 Mary would end up going to the police station that night to report what she had seen. Obviously 155 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:35,680 she was shaken and terrified. So she had to give her statement orally. Like she couldn't 156 00:14:35,680 --> 00:14:40,040 write anything down. And in her statement, like she was like obviously in distress, she 157 00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:46,400 misspoke and said there was a monster on slong Lomp road and that's how the name came about 158 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:50,960 and it kind of stuck, but it seems kind of mean like they were like making fun of her 159 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:54,800 because the cops obviously just fucking idiot. Yeah. They did the whole like, sure, sure. 160 00:14:54,800 --> 00:15:02,760 Whatever you say, lady, you're obviously hysterical. Like, uh, and they did go to check it out 161 00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:06,240 and they didn't find anything, but there you go. So that's the story of the slong Lomp 162 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:10,480 monster. There was no damage to her car because you said it hit her car and she almost, there 163 00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:17,520 was like a dent in it, but I mean, it's the seventies and you live in Maine. Yeah. That 164 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:21,760 could literally be anything. Like it didn't like shatter like a tail light or anything. 165 00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:24,760 Like it was like next to the car and it kind of like hit it. I guess that's, I'm just going 166 00:15:24,760 --> 00:15:32,320 off of like, I'm going off Jurassic park rules. Yeah. No, that's fair. Okay. All right. So 167 00:15:32,320 --> 00:15:40,000 now this next story, uh, we're going international to a Spagna. It's the home, home of tapas, 168 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:45,160 Barcelona, Tengriya, home of Diego Luna. I think, I don't know. I don't know if any of 169 00:15:45,160 --> 00:15:48,720 these things are actually from Spain. I just know they're Spanish. Isn't it the home of 170 00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:54,560 Pedro Pascal? Spain? Probably. Yeah. I think so. I think it's worth it. That beautiful 171 00:15:54,560 --> 00:16:03,680 son of a bitch. So this story is the story of the Octo-Squatch. Oh God. Yes. I have been 172 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:10,620 saying forever that, that Sasquatch needs more arms. The story of the Octo-Squatch goes 173 00:16:10,620 --> 00:16:18,320 as such one night in the summer of 1961 at roughly 11 PM, a truck driver by the name 174 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:24,840 of Archimedes Sanchez and his anonymous riding partner, which, and this is just speculation 175 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:33,840 may or may or may not be code for a lot lizard. They were driving down a road in the Basque 176 00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:38,560 mountains. Now the Basque people, as we learned in Ramel's whole series are famous for their 177 00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:45,360 depols and fetal seal worm worshiping. Of course. Yeah. Now this road is a road. As 178 00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:53,240 their ancestors have written. No, this road is a road that Archimedes, first of all, amazing 179 00:16:53,240 --> 00:17:00,000 name has traveled over many times. Well, honestly, I am still stuck on how amazing a name he 180 00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:07,920 has because his name is Archimedes Sanchez. Yeah. So it's basically like Archimedes Smith. 181 00:17:07,920 --> 00:17:12,600 Pretty much. This is like a very common last name, but just his parents were like, his 182 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:19,220 parents were like, no one is ever going to forget your name. So this is a road that he's 183 00:17:19,220 --> 00:17:26,720 traveled many times in his time as a truck, uh, as a truck, as a truck driver. He's also 184 00:17:26,720 --> 00:17:32,440 a transformer. I thought I left that part out. My mistake. Uh, now as him and his anonymous 185 00:17:32,440 --> 00:17:38,280 partner quote unquote, we're nearing Puerto de Barrazar. I think I spelled that right. 186 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:43,240 Their headlights caught a glimpse of something near an embankment on the side of the road. 187 00:17:43,240 --> 00:17:46,960 Archimedes slammed on the brakes and standing there on the side of the road was a three 188 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:57,860 to four foot tall, hairy octopus with a shaggy coat of rust colored hair. Now the creature, 189 00:17:57,860 --> 00:18:02,320 just as stunned as the two men, uh, raised one of its hairy tentacles to shield the light 190 00:18:02,320 --> 00:18:07,080 from its eyes. The two men in the truck and the hairy octopus just kind of stayed like 191 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:10,440 that for a few minutes. Like the octopus, octosquatch or whatever you want to call it 192 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:13,620 was some like a deer and headlights and the men stunned because they are in the presence 193 00:18:13,620 --> 00:18:22,080 of the octosquatch. It's a real cash. Yeah. Yeah. No, finally, uh, Archimedes Sanchez 194 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:26,520 was like, fuck this and ordered his fuck friend to go get the jackhammer out of the back of 195 00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:36,640 the truck. Presumably he was going to jackhammer this thing to death. Like what the fuck? 196 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:44,280 Typical human reaction. I don't know what it is. Let's kill it. Yeah, pretty much. But, 197 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:49,920 uh, but his companion was like, no dude, I'm not doing that. Uh, so Sanchez threw the truck 198 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:55,200 in reverse and then drove at the creature as fast as he could only stopping mere feet 199 00:18:55,200 --> 00:19:00,320 from it. But the creature didn't flinch, which is like, all right, cool. Now he did this 200 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:04,600 a few times, like over and over again with the same result. And after a while the men 201 00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:11,120 decided meh, whatever. And then just drove around it and left and just continued their 202 00:19:11,120 --> 00:19:16,160 ride home, like to the destination. And that's the whole story. When, when was this? This 203 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:23,200 was in the seventies. Okay. This was, this was in, hold on, let me scroll up. Uh, oh 204 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:30,640 1961. That can't be right. I think I wrote that wrong. It could be right. I don't know. 205 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:38,600 The jack, he wanted to jackhammer to death. He had to have been like drunk or high. I 206 00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:42,320 have no idea. I'm not saying he didn't see it, but I'm saying if your first reaction, 207 00:19:42,320 --> 00:19:47,360 you see an anomaly in the road is let's get the jackhammer. So I guess that's, that's 208 00:19:47,360 --> 00:19:53,240 some big like cocaine energy, but also like is a jackhammer gas powered? Usually you need 209 00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:56,520 a compressor or you need something to like, what was he going to do? Is he just going 210 00:19:56,520 --> 00:20:01,600 to fucking like just throw it at it? Yeah. Jackhammers are heavy. Yeah. It's not something 211 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:06,840 you can just like pick up like a goat. Like you don't, you never say go get the jackhammer. 212 00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:15,080 Yeah. I mean, it's not like a casual thing. You can just say in passing like, Hey, Jeff, 213 00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:19,800 go get, go get the jackhammer. Like no, it's like a, I've used a jackhammer. That's a lot 214 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:24,560 of that. And I've used a modern one. I can only imagine how heavy that shit is back in 215 00:20:24,560 --> 00:20:29,120 the 1960s and seventies. It's fucking steam powered. You got to fucking heat up coal and 216 00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:36,720 shit like it's not ideal. So I, but I guess when, um, like, so they were doing this back 217 00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:42,040 and forth fucking thing, like reversing and stopping and then another truck drove by and 218 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:47,120 just blew past them. Like didn't even like real, like didn't notice what was going on. 219 00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:54,520 And so they were just like, this is why this even further, this, this further, uh, pushes 220 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:59,760 my theory that he was high as fuck. Well, they're truckers. It's him and his, what I 221 00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:06,200 assume is a paid lover. Yeah. Clearly doing, I'm not going to say he's getting some roadhead, 222 00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:10,440 but at least trucker speed, they're doing some sort of diet pill, maybe a bunch of red 223 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:14,720 lens. You know what I mean? Like they're of course it's the middle of the night. And the 224 00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:17,520 person in the passenger seat probably just wasn't wearing pants. And that's why they 225 00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:23,840 didn't want to get the jackhammer. Right. I wouldn't jack it. I was gonna say I wouldn't 226 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:30,800 jack. I wouldn't jackhammer pantless, but yeah, that's, that's a true sign of masculinity 227 00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:37,240 right there. I'll wear goggles, but I'm not wearing pants. So dangerous. Too many loose 228 00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:40,800 bits down there that could get caught up in a way. Yeah. There's so many things that can 229 00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:44,640 get caught in stuff. All right. So where are we so far? So we got one more story left, 230 00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:48,560 but so far we've covered the slong lot monster. We've got the octascotch. We've got one more 231 00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:52,160 story. Where are you at right now? How are you feeling about these stories so far? I 232 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:58,320 want an octascotch to just live in my house, right? Or even just a plushie. Like I'll take 233 00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:02,800 a stop. It doesn't sound like it's a very violent creature. No, it sounds adorable. 234 00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:08,000 It's just kind of like, ah, turn off the headlights, man. It was just trying to do it. Just trying 235 00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:13,400 to live its best life. I don't know. Yeah. All right. So you're ready for this last story? 236 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:19,360 Let's go. So this is the story of the shadow veil prowler. Okay. This is more of, this 237 00:22:19,360 --> 00:22:23,640 is more of a modern one. It's not, this has got a good serial killer name. The shadow 238 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:28,920 veil prowler is a good serial killer name. Right. Everyone listening. It sounds like, 239 00:22:28,920 --> 00:22:36,200 it sounds like a made up town, like a fictional serial killer from a novel, like the town 240 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:41,480 is shadow veil. It kind of does. Or like a serialized podcast thing where like it's like, 241 00:22:41,480 --> 00:22:46,400 it's like a, like a, like a dramatically read something or other. If anyone listening, don't 242 00:22:46,400 --> 00:22:50,200 steal this name because if I ever become a serial killer, I want to be the shadow veil. 243 00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:57,600 Yeah, please. So, uh, so in October of 1998 at around 10 PM, a hunter by the name of Greg 244 00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:03,400 Thompson was out spotting deer near the edge of blackwood forest located in blackwood falls, 245 00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:11,040 Washington. Super imaginative naming here. Yeah. Now, Greg, who's an experienced hunter 246 00:23:11,040 --> 00:23:15,680 and also a tractor, a tracker. Oh my God. A tracker, not a tractor. God damn. What is 247 00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:25,440 going on with me today? People are truck. Are you okay? I don't, I'm having a mild stroke. 248 00:23:25,440 --> 00:23:30,640 He is an experienced hunter and tracker and has been in these parts of the woods before 249 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:35,400 he claimed that on this night, something just felt kind of off. He says that as he was making 250 00:23:35,400 --> 00:23:41,960 his way through the tree line, all the wildlife just stopped making noises and the woods fell 251 00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:47,600 into like an eerie silence. Now it was a pretty foggy night as I feel as I've most nights 252 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:53,400 I feel like in the Pacific Northwest are like, yeah, the Pacific Northwest to me just has 253 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:58,440 like a consistent silent Hill to vibe to it. Where? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. As far as the eye 254 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:02,280 can see, it's just going to be fog. I was basically just thinking the same thing. Like 255 00:24:02,280 --> 00:24:08,520 every night in the Pacific Northwest is like a scene from clue. Yeah. It's just unpenetrable 256 00:24:08,520 --> 00:24:14,800 fog. Now. Yeah. And thunderstorms constantly. Yeah. And even though it was foggy, the moon 257 00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:19,120 was full, but the woods just felt darker than normal and he couldn't shake the feeling that 258 00:24:19,120 --> 00:24:23,760 something in the woods was watching him as I was researching the story. And as I was 259 00:24:23,760 --> 00:24:30,160 writing this the entire time, I was the only way I could describe like reading, like researching 260 00:24:30,160 --> 00:24:33,400 it and writing the story is like, I was like watching a horror movie and me on my couch 261 00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:39,080 being like, you stupid fuck. There's so many red flags happening right now. Just get out 262 00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:43,200 of there. Like as a hiker, I can tell you when you hear no noises in the woods, you're 263 00:24:43,200 --> 00:24:49,100 in the wrong woods. Yeah. Also it's nighttime. It's foggy. The it seems darker than it should 264 00:24:49,100 --> 00:24:55,040 be. Like just, just leave. What are you doing? Like I said, he felt like something in the 265 00:24:55,040 --> 00:25:00,160 woods was watching him. So just as that feeling of being watched crept over him out of the 266 00:25:00,160 --> 00:25:04,320 corner of his eye, he saw something large and black move. Thinking it was just a trick 267 00:25:04,320 --> 00:25:07,880 of the moonlight through the trees and the fog. He turned to check it out expecting pretty 268 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:15,160 much to find nothing, but yeah, no. He saw what he claimed was a large feline creature 269 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:20,360 with black fur, so black it seemed to absorb any light that hit it, making it appeared 270 00:25:20,360 --> 00:25:25,360 like darker than the shadows. He said that his eyes glowed in what he described as a 271 00:25:25,360 --> 00:25:33,440 faint other worldly glow. Now, Greg now frozen in place pretty much. I see it as like he's 272 00:25:33,440 --> 00:25:38,340 just urine drenched, like the front of his pants, I assume. I would be, yeah. He could 273 00:25:38,340 --> 00:25:44,440 only stand there as the massive feline prowler just circled around him slowly. And then after 274 00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:49,840 what felt like forever, the prowler suddenly stopped and locked eyes with Greg as if it 275 00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:54,320 was deciding his fate. Like, will I murder you here and now, or will I let you live and 276 00:25:54,320 --> 00:25:59,040 like tell a story that no one will ever believe and people will think you're crazy? Both of 277 00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:02,400 those don't seem like a good outcome, but at least one of them, you're alive. That's 278 00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:08,320 like the cruelest thing that any cryptid could do, right? It's like show up, wave at you 279 00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:12,800 and then be like, no one's going to believe this and then walk away. Yeah. And then just 280 00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:18,760 as suddenly as it appeared, like the prowler made his decision and vanished into the woods, 281 00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:28,040 leaving Greg shaken and now just alone, like in the fog, like the dark foggy woods. So 282 00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:31,480 Greg decided, and this is probably the best decision he's made so far, that this was a 283 00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:34,880 good as good a time as any to just get the fuck out of there. It made his way back to 284 00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:39,840 town. OK, now when he got back to town, he immediately told everyone what had happened. 285 00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:45,120 Now it's like 11 p.m. by this time. So I bet he just like went to like the local bar, which 286 00:26:45,120 --> 00:26:51,380 is the only thing that would be open and told everyone what happened. Now, luckily for Greg, 287 00:26:51,380 --> 00:26:55,200 he did have a good reputation in town for having like a solid head on his shoulders. 288 00:26:55,200 --> 00:27:01,680 So while there were some skeptics, people kind of took him at his word. Now, obviously, 289 00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:07,080 there was no evidence of a giant cat monster in the woods and also big black panther monsters 290 00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:13,760 are not native to the Pacific. Not a common thing. Yeah. But the story has kind of become 291 00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:18,280 like folklore in the region. People claiming that it was like a guardian of the forest. 292 00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:21,520 Others, as usual, say it was a harbinger of doom, even though I couldn't find anything 293 00:27:21,520 --> 00:27:28,360 bad happening in the forest. I don't know, man. Either way, no one's ever seen it again. 294 00:27:28,360 --> 00:27:33,680 And there it is, Sarge. That is the story of the shadow veil prowler and the last story 295 00:27:33,680 --> 00:27:40,320 for today. Where are we? How are you feeling? I'm still I'm still I think Archimedes and 296 00:27:40,320 --> 00:27:45,440 the Octosquatch should be a children's book. I mean, we could write out the lot lizard. 297 00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:51,640 Yeah. We'll just start out the lot lizard. That's fair. We can turn it into like a dog. 298 00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:58,000 Like his writing partner was like his dog companion. Right. Now, he wouldn't make it 299 00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:01,880 weird when he's like, go get the jackhammer and the dogs like, I don't have thumbs. Well, 300 00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:05,600 you would leave that out of you would leave that out of the kids story. I would assume 301 00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:11,480 I feel like blatantly murdering just like an innocent because there's no lesson there 302 00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:17,320 to be learned. I guess it's true. Well, there's not many lessons to learn from cryptids. They 303 00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:21,880 sort of just show up. They wreak havoc on your life and then they run away into the 304 00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:26,680 woods. True. Now, Sarge, there is a twist to this episode. And I kind of took this out 305 00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:34,240 of your book. Two of these stories are not real. I made them up whole cloth. Only one 306 00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:41,800 of them is real. And now I need you to circle through your mind. Think back to these stories 307 00:28:41,800 --> 00:28:49,000 and I want you to tell me which one you think is the real story. I think my bias is going 308 00:28:49,000 --> 00:29:05,520 to have to stick with OctoSquatch. Is the real one? Yeah. Yes. I'm so happy. That was really 309 00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:11,960 good, though, because I was tied with slog slung lump slung lump. Yeah, I was very tied 310 00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:16,760 with that one because I'm like, that's a really good detail. Like the minute you said that 311 00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:22,080 the two of them were made up, I was like, well, slung lump, that's a good detail to 312 00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:26,400 add, like because if you were just trying to convince me that it was a true story, it 313 00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:32,840 would have just been like, oh, the long swamp monster. Wow. Good work. You almost had me. 314 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:37,240 I was very torn. I honestly didn't think you would chose OctoSquatch. OctoSquatch, come 315 00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:46,080 on, the name Archimedes. If anything out of all of these, that sounds the most fake. You 316 00:29:46,080 --> 00:29:53,040 know what, though? I think because the name Archimedes Sanchez is so absurd, I was like, 317 00:29:53,040 --> 00:29:58,840 there's no way he's going to make that name up because it's so crazy. It is such a bonkers 318 00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:06,800 name. I do like the shadow veil prowler, but the reason I thought that one was fake is 319 00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:11,800 because at no point was anything named Shadow Veil. Like, why would they call it that? So 320 00:30:11,800 --> 00:30:22,120 the slung lump monster, the backstory behind that is that my mother-in-law actually lives 321 00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:28,220 off of Long Swamp Road in Burrowick and me and my wife, whenever we have to drive from 322 00:30:28,220 --> 00:30:32,280 Philly back to Maine to stay with her when we're visiting friends in New Hampshire or 323 00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:38,840 something like that, we came up with the slung lump monster. We never came up with what it 324 00:30:38,840 --> 00:30:42,720 looks like. Like I wrote that out whole cloth like an hour ago. Like I made up that whole 325 00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:50,680 story. But we came up with slung lump monster. So that's where that one came from. The shadow 326 00:30:50,680 --> 00:31:02,560 veil prowler, I asked chat GPT to come up with a story about like a like a like a one off 327 00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:09,280 cryptic siding and then all this stuff. So the town is fake. The name is fake. But I 328 00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:14,200 did. I should have fuck it now. Now that you said the name, I should have fucking because 329 00:31:14,200 --> 00:31:21,600 I did. I did ask chat chat GPT why is it called Shadow Veil prowler? How did it get its name? 330 00:31:21,600 --> 00:31:26,880 And I should have included it so that to throw you off. But it did say that the shadow veil 331 00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:31,500 prowler got its name from the few tantalizing descriptions provided by witnesses and local 332 00:31:31,500 --> 00:31:35,800 folklore. The term shadow veil comes from the creature's extraordinary ability to blend 333 00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:43,200 seamlessly into the darkness as if it wears a veil of shadows. OK, so here's the thing. 334 00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:49,800 You're talking about rural folk. We don't know. I don't know how rural it is. I mean, 335 00:31:49,800 --> 00:31:56,960 the guy's hunting in the woods in the northwest, so he's not in Olympia, Portland, Seattle. 336 00:31:56,960 --> 00:32:04,920 So so I just don't see like a bunch of people being that poetic while also living as lumberjacks. 337 00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:09,960 Yeah, but I mean, folklorists, people get poetic with it. They would have called it 338 00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:17,360 like the hellcat. Yeah, that's fair. I'm the hellcat of Seattle. I'm honestly surprised 339 00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:21,080 that you still am surprised that you chose Octosquatch. That is the most unbelievable 340 00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:25,040 shit that I've ever heard in my entire life. But I think that's why I chose it, because 341 00:32:25,040 --> 00:32:31,520 it was so unbelievable. I was like, no one in the world is going to make up Archimedes 342 00:32:31,520 --> 00:32:39,520 sketches. I think the jackhammer, I thought the jackhammer would throw you off, too. Like, 343 00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:46,360 who's going to? I think it was because it was all so absurd, but also I wanted it to 344 00:32:46,360 --> 00:32:51,600 be real so bad. Yeah. How could you not want the Octosquatch to be like, yeah, it has to 345 00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:56,120 be real. I want an Octosquatch for my house and I want to teach it how to play drums. 346 00:32:56,120 --> 00:33:04,200 Oh, shit. So like an underwater band. How good he'd be. Yeah, I love it. But so yeah, so 347 00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:08,120 that's the episode. I tried to have fun with it. I think that was fun. That was awesome. 348 00:33:08,120 --> 00:33:12,280 Trying something new, a little different. It was so much fun. But I wanted to take a 349 00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:17,160 page out of your book like you did with the torture devices. Oh, OK. See if I could see 350 00:33:17,160 --> 00:33:24,040 if I could trip you up a bit. You were very close. A slung lump had me. I was like, I'm 351 00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:29,040 probably wrong, but I just don't think anyone would make up that name. All right. Yeah. 352 00:33:29,040 --> 00:33:35,400 I'm going to stick with Octosquatch. Oh, thank God I did it. I know. You have to wake up 353 00:33:35,400 --> 00:33:38,920 earlier in the morning to fool this guy. You're going to have to you have to come up with 354 00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:52,760 names like Socrates Wellington. I should just like his name was Jeff Bob, Jeff Roberts, 355 00:33:52,760 --> 00:33:59,400 the most red taters. Yeah, like just the most un-Spanish name you could think of. He was 356 00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:07,240 an expat who moved to Spain to become a truck driver. But I also thought that maybe the 357 00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:13,160 Bask thing would throw you off because how often does Bask show up in like random shit 358 00:34:13,160 --> 00:34:17,760 that we've covered? Like, oh, right. Well, the the only two times I've heard it this year 359 00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:21,520 are on this podcast. That's what I'm saying. Like, I thought maybe you'd be like, oh, well, 360 00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:28,200 he's just taken that from the other things and melding into a story. All right. Well, 361 00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:33,080 I thought I could trick you. You're too smart. Sorry. You got it. This is more time. You 362 00:34:33,080 --> 00:34:37,720 have more time. You'll have the chance. We'll have to do this again because this was fun. 363 00:34:37,720 --> 00:34:43,200 I enjoyed coming up with the song. This was fun. It was good. Long Lump is great. Yeah. 364 00:34:43,200 --> 00:34:46,960 I thought that detail I thought would get you and think so you'd think it was real. 365 00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:50,040 Well, in my head, I was like, I want to go up there and check this out. I want to go 366 00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:56,280 see this road. It's not that far. It's not that great. So road in Berwick. Well, now 367 00:34:56,280 --> 00:35:02,320 it's not. Now that there's not a giant terror raptor, I should have just not said that any 368 00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:05,480 of these were fake or real and just seen how many people listen to this episode and then 369 00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:13,800 like try and write like a crypto, a back story, a pedia entry. But here's the thing. Most 370 00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:18,280 people don't listen to like the last five minutes of this episode. So they never would 371 00:35:18,280 --> 00:35:24,480 have figured it out. They probably they might still not. You never know. They'll hear like 372 00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:29,280 put it in the description. State of the end for the big reveal. Yeah, I know. All right. 373 00:35:29,280 --> 00:35:34,640 So that's the end of the episode. It was a good time. That was fun. That was really good. 374 00:35:34,640 --> 00:35:41,480 You got anything you want to plug before we? Yeah. So New Citizens Guide episode is coming 375 00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:46,400 out. Sorry, we missed a couple of weeks, but life got in the way as it usually does. But 376 00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:49,440 this one's going to be a good one. You're going to want to tune in for it. We're covering 377 00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:55,760 the great molasses flood of nineteen nineteen in Boston. It's not really a super supernatural 378 00:35:55,760 --> 00:36:01,040 story, but it definitely follows our theme of covering things that are sticky, stupid 379 00:36:01,040 --> 00:36:05,160 and uncomfortable. Definitely lately you've been covering things that are just that just 380 00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:12,040 murder people. Yeah. Things that are just weird and uncomfortable. Yeah. So, yeah, that'll 381 00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:17,600 be a fun episode. And there's a lot of like crazy history and actual political intrigue 382 00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:23,040 that's involved. So a really interesting story, some corporate malfeasance, which we all know 383 00:36:23,040 --> 00:36:29,260 and love in America. And I got a coloring book that's going to be coming out hopefully 384 00:36:29,260 --> 00:36:34,920 in July. It's a grown up coloring book. There's going to be like word searches and mazes, 385 00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:43,120 dicks and pussies and tits. Is that an adult coloring book, though? I mean, it could be. 386 00:36:43,120 --> 00:36:50,280 It's not going to be my coloring book. Well, but I did tell the publisher my goal was for 387 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:56,480 it to be banned in libraries across the South. And I think we achieved that goal. A bunch 388 00:36:56,480 --> 00:37:02,360 of gay shit that there is stuff in there. Yeah. That's the whole reason I was like, 389 00:37:02,360 --> 00:37:07,560 I want there to be two teddy bears holding hands underneath a rainbow. And they made 390 00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:13,480 it that way so you could color in the two teddy bears. Oh, but Project 2025 is not going 391 00:37:13,480 --> 00:37:19,760 to enjoy that. Well, they're going to have to suck it up and deal because I have no problem 392 00:37:19,760 --> 00:37:26,920 with gay people and therefore they shouldn't either. Because I command it. Well, you are 393 00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:33,040 the sergeant. So that's right. What you say is law. Technically, I guess. Yeah. So check 394 00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:38,720 out sometime this week. It'll be around the same time that this episode drops. Our hours 395 00:37:38,720 --> 00:37:45,000 are probably drop a day or two after. So Tuesday or Wednesday, the great molasses flood. It 396 00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:51,040 is. I've done the most research, probably some of the most research I've ever done for 397 00:37:51,040 --> 00:37:58,080 a podcast episode on this. And it's just it's crazy. I got lazy today. I did no research 398 00:37:58,080 --> 00:38:02,040 whatsoever for this episode. And it was you didn't have to. I know it was a blast. I loved 399 00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:09,800 it. It was just amazing. It was so much fun. All right. So yeah, so this is guide. Definitely 400 00:38:09,800 --> 00:38:13,480 make sure you check out the new episode when it comes out. Follow. So I'll tell you guys 401 00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:17,760 about the coloring book when it comes out. It's going to be called Sages super normal 402 00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:23,840 coloring book. So it's going to be anything but. Yeah, no, there's not going to be anything 403 00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:28,280 normal in that coloring book. There's a lot of weird shit. We've got Maynard in there. 404 00:38:28,280 --> 00:38:32,120 This has been in the works for months. I didn't want to talk about it until it was almost 405 00:38:32,120 --> 00:38:39,120 done. Yeah. And so, yeah, there's me and Maynard on adventures in there. So you get to color 406 00:38:39,120 --> 00:38:45,200 in an adventure with the both of us. And we've got some cryptids in there. So there'll be 407 00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:50,400 references to this this podcast and citizens guide to the super normal in there. I better 408 00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:55,800 get you in there because all the artwork was done before we before we started recording 409 00:38:55,800 --> 00:39:01,200 together. But I just want one. I just want to come. You've got you've got a couple of 410 00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:07,920 pages. So yeah, you'll be able to buy it on Amazon. It's going to be published. The all 411 00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:12,040 the work was done by a legit publishing company, but we're going to publish it through Amazon 412 00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:18,600 because it'll be a lot less expensive to purchase. They do. I don't know. They do that. Yeah. 413 00:39:18,600 --> 00:39:24,960 Yeah. Keep an eye out for the new episode. Citizens guide. Keep out here and I for the 414 00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:30,040 coloring book. I'm sure he'll promote it. So we'll be talking about. Yeah, I'll be annoying 415 00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:34,520 about about it. I'll be supporting it. Follow Sarge on all of the socials. You can find 416 00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:38,840 them in the link on our Instagram. You can follow our Instagram at Crypto Cocktail, also 417 00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:47,680 Tick Tock Crypto Cocktail party, Patreon, five dollars a month. You get unedited video 418 00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:54,960 of the show. And I think that's also it's Pride Month. So I support the Trevor Project. 419 00:39:54,960 --> 00:39:59,300 It's this thing that I've always had a kind of a passionate thing about suicide prevention 420 00:39:59,300 --> 00:40:06,440 for young trans people, gay people, stuff like that. So it's a good it's a good charity 421 00:40:06,440 --> 00:40:14,280 to donate to. I have a link to it in my in our Tick Tock. You can support that. And then 422 00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:19,720 I think that's it. Sarge, you want to say goodbye to everyone? Yeah, I mean, please 423 00:40:19,720 --> 00:40:26,480 donate to the Trevor Project. The LGBTQ community holds a special place in my heart. My daughter 424 00:40:26,480 --> 00:40:31,440 and I actually go down to Pride in Providence, Rhode Island next weekend. I get a free Dad 425 00:40:31,440 --> 00:40:37,280 Hugs T-shirt that I always wear. That's good. And it's always you know, it's always good 426 00:40:37,280 --> 00:40:42,640 to to give some encouragement to folks whose whose families have completely abandoned them 427 00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:47,920 because of something that was beyond their control. So it's something that I firmly believe 428 00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:56,280 in. Obviously, you do, too. So please make sure that you punch a bigot in the face. 429 00:40:56,280 --> 00:41:01,480 In celebration of Pride. Just kidding. Don't do any violence that you know, Sarge doesn't 430 00:41:01,480 --> 00:41:08,000 that I told you to do. But punch a bigot in the face. Yeah. Punch one in the face. Not 431 00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:13,480 like a whole bunch. I mean, if you're surrounded, you know, yeah, punch you got to do. Do some 432 00:41:13,480 --> 00:41:18,680 damage. Bring a chain with you. Put a put a billiard ball in a bandana. You know, yeah. 433 00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:26,600 What are you going to do? Padlock on a bandana. That'll work. The cue ball in a sock. Whatever 434 00:41:26,600 --> 00:41:30,560 you got. A roll of quarters in your in your pocket and you can just wrap your fist around 435 00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:34,160 them. Yeah. Maybe I'll make some. What are you going to do? Maybe I'll make some cryptic 436 00:41:34,160 --> 00:41:39,760 cocktail branded brass knuckles. Yeah. Yeah. That's a good idea. That's a really good idea. 437 00:41:39,760 --> 00:41:48,600 And then you can make them rainbow colored. Now I'm going to look into that. 438 00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:53,680 Our pride brass knuckle line. That's actually a really good idea. You know, you can't buy 439 00:41:53,680 --> 00:41:59,760 brass knuckles in Massachusetts, but you can buy. You can buy paperweights. If they're 440 00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:04,840 no, I have if they're sold, they sell them as paperweights. If they're sold as decorative 441 00:42:04,840 --> 00:42:10,880 paperweights, quote unquote, you can buy brass knuckles if they're labeled as paperweights. 442 00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:14,080 I found that out because in New Hampshire, they're they were illegal. I don't know if 443 00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:19,520 they are now, but they were. And you could buy them, but only if they were labeled as 444 00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:25,200 a decorative paperweight, decorative paperweight. So if I have a brass knuckle, I have one knuckle 445 00:42:25,200 --> 00:42:30,120 and it's a bottle opener. Yeah. So if anyone wants to buy some films to buy some cryptic 446 00:42:30,120 --> 00:42:39,240 cocktail pride theme decorative paperweights, we need this. We are going to make these. 447 00:42:39,240 --> 00:42:43,360 We have to make these. Maybe I'll I'll look into it today. Maybe we'll put them for pre-order. 448 00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:50,560 Tomorrow. So I'm all about it. I'll pre-order for sure. All right. With that, we love you. 449 00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:56,520 We love everyone. I love you, everyone. Don't be a fucking bigot asshole. Don't be a bigot. 450 00:42:56,520 --> 00:43:14,000 Yeah. I think that's a good way to end the show, right? Yeah, that's fair.