You should make a montage of me just rocking out to the theme song.
Hey everybody.
Welcome back to another episode of Cryptic Cocktail Party, a show where we have a few
jokes, share a few laughs, take a dive into the unknown.
I'm your host Dave and as always I am joined by Sarge.
What is going on Sarge?
What's up?
I'm observing Memorial Day weekend like a true veteran by mowing my lawn, yelling at
my kids and drinking beer.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Thank you for your service.
If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be able to enjoy getting drunk with you on a Saturday
this weekend.
That's right.
You know, welcome for your freedom.
The tough part with Sarge single-handedly is the reason why we celebrate this holiday.
I don't know if you know the backstory, but sorry about gas prices.
America really thought we had that shit locked down.
The tough part with Memorial Day is that like, you know, America kind of treats it like it's
a celebration, right?
Because it's the beginning of summer and everything.
Yeah.
But like as a veteran, nothing like annoys me more than when people like happy Memorial
Day.
And I'm like, do you know what the second word you said was?
Because Memorial is not like a friendly happy term, you know.
I think it all depends on how you how you memorialize things though.
Right.
And I'm not saying like you can't have a barbecue and have a good time on Memorial Day weekend.
True.
But like, I get really mad when when businesses are like, hey, we're sorry about the hundreds
of thousands of Americans that died defending America's interests.
Have 50 percent off this mattress.
Flip flops are now buy two, get one free.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, what is happening right now?
The widows of war need to sleep as well.
All right.
And they need they deserve to sleep comfortably.
That's true.
So the widows and widowers of war deserve a 50 percent off mattress.
That's fair.
You're right.
Get a purple mattress.
Nobody thinks about them.
Yeah.
I mean, I feel like no one really does think about them.
But anyways, I mean, that is true.
Like that's the hardest part of being a family of a veteran is that like everybody's thanking
your spouse.
Meanwhile, you've been shitting bricks for the last year because you're worried you're
going to get a negative phone call one day, you know.
Yeah.
You're going to get two dudes showing up at your door with a folded flag or something
like that.
Yeah.
It's I can imagine the struggles.
That sucks.
It sucks.
Yeah.
Well, I'm glad we started out this episode.
Anyway, on that and that exciting and happy note.
Well, sorry, I hate to say it, but it's it's not going to get any better from here.
This episode is kind of a bummer.
Oh, good.
I'm glad I set the tone for the episode.
I mean, it's not it's it's not it's not a fun story.
Let's just put it that way.
But I mean, it's it's very interesting to me because we're going to be covering more
of like a contemporary thing, if that makes sense.
Do you want to dive right in and explain what I'm talking about?
All right.
I'm so ready.
Like I said, today's topic is kind of a bummer.
So I'm going to apologize to all the listeners in advance.
We're going to be diving into some Native American folklore again this week.
Nice.
Fuck it.
I love American Native American folklore.
I like learning about it.
So now me too.
Both Sarge and the audience, you guys are going to have to deal with it as well.
But I feel as always with, you know, this story that not too many people know about
what they know about it and those that do, I don't think they know exactly how this specific
legend and the circumstances surrounding it that surround it and shape it are rooted in
real problems facing a certain Native American tribe and the youth that live in that community.
Today we'll be talking about walking Sam.
Are you familiar with walking, Sam?
No, no, no.
All right.
No, I thought maybe it might be a character on The Walking Dead, but that's just a guess.
It's way worse.
Walking Sam is a dark figure tied to some contemporary folklore of the Pine Ridge Indian
reservation.
And before we get started, like I say, with before we cover anything like this, hopefully
all this information is accurate and truthful.
And even though the both of us are a couple of morons who like to make a lot of pee-pee
poo-poo dick jokes, we're going to try and do our best to cover this topic as respectfully
as possible.
And if anything is said on this episode that is wrong, feel free to reach out to either
of us and we'll make a correction on the next episode.
Hell yeah, hit me up.
So, so walking Sam, also known as the tall man, is described as an impossibly tall shadow
figure.
His arms hang low, almost scraping the ground.
It's said that just his presence alone is enough to send chills down your spine.
Some say his eyes are the darkest of pits absorbing-
Just your description of it-
What about it?
Just your description of it creeps me the fuck out.
I'm sorry to interrupt, but you-
Oh yeah.
It gets worse.
It gets worse, like I said.
His eyes are the darkest of pits absorbing any light that comes near.
Some descriptions of Sam include him wearing like a wide brimmed hat, which makes the silhouette
of him even more terrifying.
And I don't know about you, but there's something about a shadowy malevolent figure wearing
a fancy hat that makes it like instantly more creepy.
Like who, like who are you dressing up for?
Like what, like what's the occasion?
Like do you dress up to just fuck with people?
Do you remember the second Conjuring?
I never watched, I never watched the second Conjury.
I only watched the first one.
I don't like that.
Fucking, I hate those two.
They're fucking pieces of shit.
But no, why?
Is there a hat man?
Well, look, I'm not talking about Ed and Lorraine Warren.
I'm going to pretend that they're not real people because they are morons.
You're right.
Yeah.
But that movie has a scary, tall, skinny dude in a top hat and it's fucking creepy.
That's the only reason to bring it up.
Cause like, that's immediately what I thought of.
Yeah.
Any entity that wears a hat or like a suit, like they can just fuck right off.
Like that along with like the super long arms.
I'm good.
Now thank you.
Regardless of the details, one thing about this legend that is abundantly clear is that
Walking Sam is a harbinger of death and a symbol of deep despair.
Now to understand Walking Sam, we need to delve into the history and struggles of the
Pine Ridge Indian reservation.
And now this is where some of my information may be a little off.
This part is very information heavy.
There's like statistics in ship and like stuff like that involved.
And I did my best to like fact check all of these.
So hopefully it's right.
Also this is where the bumming out begins.
So I'm sorry in advance.
Located in Southwestern South Dakota, Pine Ridge is home to the Oglala Lakota Nation.
This land is rich in cultural heritage and historical significance, but has also seen
its share of hardships and tragedy.
The Oglala Lakota people, like many Native American tribes, have faced significant land
loss and broken treaties.
One of the most famous moments in their history is the Wounded Knee Massacre of 1890, where
the U.S. cavalry forces killed over 200 Lakota men, women, and children.
And this event left a deep scar on the community and one that still is like throbbing with
pain today.
Now fast forward to the present.
And Pine Ridge grapples with severe socioeconomic challenges.
Unemployment rates hover between 80 and 90 percent.
Poverty is pretty rampant in this area.
And the life expectancy is alarmingly low.
It's 48 years old for men and 52 for women.
Jesus.
Yeah, it's not ideal.
Health issues like diabetes.
Do they know?
Do they?
I'm sorry to.
That's what I was going to ask.
Is it because they've got a high infant mortality rate or is it because they've got, you know,
a lot of health issues?
What's causing it?
So it's things like health issues like diabetes, heart disease and substance abuse are just
a few of the problems this community struggles with, even though it is a dry, quote unquote
dry reservation.
Alcoholism, as well as heavy drug use is a problem there.
And now imagine, Sarge, imagine you're a young person growing up in this environment.
Not only do you have the weight of historical trauma coupled with the present day hardships.
All this can be overwhelming.
So it's really no wonder that Pine Ridge has one of the highest youth suicide rates
in the country, up to 10 times the national average with more than 100 young people attempting
suicide in just 2015 alone.
It's alarming and really sad.
But it is in this bleak landscape that the legend of Walking Sam has taken root.
Jesus.
Now, Walking Sam for the tribe here is more than just a boogeyman.
He's like a symbol and a manifestation of like the deep, deep despair felt by many that
live on this reservation.
Stories about him have been circulating for years and there's more than there are more
than just ghost stories.
It's almost like a I don't want to call it a cautionary tale, but it's like almost like
a way to explain away some of the stuff that makes sense.
I don't know if that makes sense.
It's kind of like a representation of like white people in our culture.
Well, this is actually like so Walking Sam is actually it's more modern than you would
think.
Like it hasn't been around for like generations.
Well, I'm just saying like all of the problems that they're experiencing.
Oh, it's because of us.
Right.
But I'm saying like all the problems they're experiencing can be traced, traced to our
ancestors, traced to that terrible moment back in 1621.
My idiot ancestors.
Well, not mine.
I'm well, my people didn't come here till much later.
But when those idiots showed up on Plymouth and we're like, hey, it's rocky, cold and
completely inhospitable.
Let's build a severe town.
Brutal savages.
We were the savages.
Yeah, oh, 100 percent we were like, yeah, that's like I was watching this kind of subject,
but kind of just to make it a little bit lighter.
I was watching that show Shogun on Hulu.
It's based off like a book called Shogun.
But it's about this, the white guy that goes to Japan.
It's basically the last samurai, but like more historically accurate, I think.
But anyway, like the white dude goes there.
He's okay.
He just came in.
Tom Cruise wasn't back there.
No, no.
He just keeps calling all the Japanese people savages.
Yet he's over there just being the most fucking uncouth asshole I've ever and it's like, how
can you, a guy from England, call these people savages?
Like you shit in the streets.
Like go fuck yourself.
Yeah, I'm sorry.
Didn't you come from the culture that gave opium to China and when they didn't want it
anymore, you started a war over it?
Yeah, yeah.
It's, it's wild how we.
Oh, you mean the guys who just showed up in India full of billions of people were like,
no, no, this is ours now.
I love the projection that white people give on everyone.
All right.
Now I'm assuming by now you're wondering just how Walking Sam operates.
Yes.
According to the tales, he roams the reservation, particularly at night, targeting those who
are most vulnerable.
He whispers to them, feeding their feelings of worthlessness and despair.
Some say he collects the souls of those he convinces to take their own lives, hanging
them from his unnaturally long arms, like gruesome trophies or like garland on a super
fucked up Christmas tree.
Now this image of Sam, Jesus fucking Christ.
Yeah, it's not ideal.
It's it's kind of a bummer.
Goddamn.
But this, this imagery of Sam, like his dark and slender build, the inhuman length of his
arms, the top hat, it's, it's purposely chilling and terrifying and it serves to reflect the
deep mental health crisis facing the community.
Walking Sam's influence isn't just confined to the shadows.
There have been real reports of cluster suicides on the reservation.
These are times when like multiple young people have taken their lives in a quick succession.
During these periods, the stories about Walking Sam become even more prevalent, prevalent
as if he's stalking the community, sowing seeds of just like sorrow and helplessness,
just all around misery.
Now for those living on Pine Ridge, the fear of Walking Sam is very real.
Like I said before, he embodies the mental health crisis facing the community.
He's like the ex, like you said, he's like the externalization of the pain, like the
despair and the struggle that so many young people face, especially living there.
Walking Sam's presence is often reported during moments of profound despair.
People say they see him standing at the edges of gatherings, his tall silhouette impossible
to miss.
Like you can't miss a fucking 10 foot tall, long arms, top hat man.
It's as if he knows exactly where to go to find those who are suffering the most.
His whispers are said to be persistent and invasive, almost like a catchy song stuck
in your head.
But instead of like fun and playful, it's just like a play by play of like the darkest
fears and insecurities that the victim that he's chosen.
It's basically like a psychological assault on your mind that just leaves people feeling
more isolated and hopeless than before.
And it drives them to do these acts that we've been talking about.
It's like a malevolent Eastern European basketball player.
Yeah, pretty much.
It's not who gets like, like one of the guys we recruit, we put them in a tuxedo and we're
like, Hey, why don't you go tell terrible nursery rhymes to these poor, unsuspecting
people?
Yeah.
And then it gets stuck in their heads and then they commit suicide.
This is, I didn't realize how much I didn't realize how much of a fucking scary.
Yeah.
But also I super bummer when I was writing this, I was like, this is going to be a bummer.
But saying it all out loud is like, I'm, this is a bummer.
I am so sorry, everyone.
We're going to need a palate cleanser after this.
Yeah, we'll, uh, I don't know.
We'll talk about something else, but, uh, communities on Pine Ridge are working to combat
the despair that feeds walking Sam.
Local organizations are helping to provide mental health support, educational programs
and economic opportunities.
Programs are being made to incorporate traditional Lakota healing practices into these initiatives,
blending the old ways with the new to kind of promote wellbeing as well as like becoming
closer to their ancestral roots.
Uh, talking circles and ceremonies play a vital role in healing.
It offers a sense of community and connection that's often missing in these communities.
Cultural revitalization programs help young people reconnect with their heritage, fostering
a strong sense of identity and pride.
Career support networks and youth programs are also crucial, providing positive activities
and mentorship to those who might otherwise feel isolated and alone, which is what most
people who are young feel when they're going through puberty.
I mean, I felt isolated and alone, but I was also, I was a fucking weird kid.
So I don't know, but I can imagine it's a thousand times worse.
Yeah.
Despite the immense challenges in my case, I did it to myself.
Yeah, I exactly, I feel like we did it to ourselves.
These people just kind of have like, yeah, it's just, yeah.
Uh, now despite the immense challenges these reservations face, uh, the resilience of the
Uglala Lakota people is hard to understate.
Like they, they weathered a lot and I'm sure they can weather through this.
Now addressing the high suicide rate on Pine Ridge, it's, it's not easy and it requires
a shit ton more than just talking circles and just providing resources.
Right.
Uh, you know, you need, it's about like fostering hope, building community and honoring the
cultural heritage that has sustained the Lakota people for generations.
So I guess the takeaway from this story is that yes, Walking Sam would be a fucking sick
character if he wasn't born out of real world, world misery.
And he is a fucking nightmare.
Yeah.
But he is more than just a shadowy figure lurking in the night.
He's like, he's pretty much a symbol of like this community's pain, everything they've
gone through, all the struggles, all the hardships, but also of its strength and resilience.
I read somewhere that the battle against Walking Sam is a battle for the future of Pine Ridge.
One that's being fought with courage, tradition, and an unbreakable spirit.
But there you have it.
That's the story of Walking Sam.
A little bit of a shorter episode today because I didn't really leave enough room for jokes
or conversation.
Yeah.
I just thought it was a story that more people should hear.
And if you want to help, if you want to help the Pine Ridge reservation and the Lakota
people, you can head to Onespiritlakota.org.
One Spirit is a nonprofit that's dedicated to improving the quality of life on the reservation
with food pantries, firewood assistance, as well as a bunch of like youth oriented programs.
So you can head to their website, learn more about what they got going on and maybe leave
a donation to help support their cause.
How you feeling, Sarge?
You look not great.
Yeah, I just kind of want to take a nap now.
Goddamn.
No, dude, you got yard work to do.
Because like what you were describing is like, it's like an amazingly terrifying monster,
right?
Oh, it's awesome.
And had somebody just come up with it.
Yeah.
Like, he's cooler than Slender Man.
Oh, he's fucking sick.
You know what I mean?
Like Slender Man is just a stupid Internet thing without a face like who gives a shit.
Yeah.
This is like far more malevolent to me.
And I think it carries even more weight.
It's more scary to me because it's, you know, it's based on a real affliction that is just
ravaging this poor community that's already been through way too much.
Yeah.
I mean, the idea of Walking Sam is a really cool idea, but like, yeah, because it is born
from such conditions and tragedy and despair.
Like it.
I mean, I still think it's cool, like artwork and imagery of it.
But like the knowing what it's about makes it way worse.
Yeah.
It's not like it's not like, hey, let's write a short story about this.
It's like, hey, we should feel real bad about all the things that our culture has done to
this other culture that didn't ask for that.
Yeah.
I think the other thing that really frustrates me is there's so many people out there that
they keep talking about.
You know, I'm not I'm trying to get political, but you know, when you've got people who don't
have sympathy for these communities, it's like what what is wrong with your soul that
it is so dead that you can't see how much this community is suffering.
And that our real historical things that happens like we're the ones that are doing it.
Yeah.
They didn't want this.
They didn't want any of this.
Exactly.
And we.
Yeah, they didn't ask.
Yeah, they didn't ask for a bunch of pale morons to come and force them to start wearing
clothes.
You know what I mean?
Like wearing our clothes instead of their traditional, you know, cultural garb.
Like, yeah.
And also most of the Native American like reservations are I feel like are in like the
southwest west where like the land isn't fertile.
You can't you know, like they're not they're not in the best places.
The infrastructure isn't really there.
We put them in our culture, put them in places that we didn't want to live.
But I also think that essentially they're like sovereign nations within the United States
like we're as a government, we're required to protect and and take care of them.
But I think the United States kind of has a hands off approach in the sense that like,
OK, you know, you're this is your your nation.
You govern it.
And our laws don't all apply here.
Yeah.
But at the same time, I do wonder, you know, are we responsible for for the infrastructure
in some way or another?
I feel like we should be.
Yeah, I feel like we kind of owe that community a little more than what we're giving them
right now.
Instead, we're just like, here, have a casino or two.
Like that's fucked up.
Like we need to do more for the Native American community.
And it makes me it makes me want to do more.
You know, I donate wherever I can whenever I can.
You know, obviously, I don't have a ton of money.
I don't know, like two dimes to rub together.
But whatever I can, I I do want to donate and I make sure my kids understand, too.
And I think that's probably one of the most important things we can do is just make sure
the kids in America understand that, you know, there's more than one or two groups that we
kind of steamrolled in the creation of this country.
There's a lot of groups and we need to make sure that we support all of them, but especially
the ones that were here long before we arrived.
Oh, yeah, for sure.
Yeah.
I mean, I've always had growing up in New England, I've always had a
a fascination and deep respect for Native American communities.
Yeah.
But also, you know, I right now where I live, you can literally find you could still find
arrowheads like just out in the woods behind my house.
Apparently, there's a there's a woman I met who lives out here.
She's in the 90s and she said that they used to go out in the woods behind my house and
just look for arrowheads because you can I guess you can find them dig down a little
bit.
You can find them still.
I've never found an arrowhead.
I live, you know, living in New England my whole life.
I know everyone I know, everyone I know is I always found one and I've never once found
one.
Yeah, yeah, I've always wanted to.
I've never found a four leaf clover.
I've never found an arrowhead.
Yeah, yeah, it's a bummer.
Much like the story.
It kills me.
But yeah, it's all, none of it's good.
How white of us that we're like, how white of us that we're like, here's this terrible,
terrible thing, afflicting a community.
I want to find an arrowhead.
I know, right?
It's not good.
You sons of bitches.
All right.
But yeah, if you want to.
Yeah, I think it's an important topic.
Yeah.
And like I said, if you guys want to help help out this tribe or any tribe, I mean,
really, you can look up where to like help out, donate, donate clothing items, food items,
work at a food kitchen, anything like that.
But for this Pine Ridge reservation specifically, you can head to OnespiritLakota.org.
They do a bunch of really cool shit and they're always helping people out.
So if you can just, even if you just go read it, share whatever, I mean, even if you can't
donate, spread the word about it and it definitely helps them out.
But yeah, so that's that's Walking Sam.
Sorry for bumming everyone out on this lovely Memorial Day.
I mean, I guess this this is this is technically what we should be memorial.
You know, I mean, like bring attention to the shit that we did.
Yeah.
I think this is just this is just as important.
This is absolutely just as important as bringing attention to, you know, soldiers who didn't
make it home because a lot of Native Americans joined the military.
Oh, yeah.
I served in basic training.
There was a couple of kids who were Native American and and I think it's really important
to make sure that we we keep that culture alive because of the damage that was done
to it and trying to bury that culture throughout the history of founding this nation.
So it's even more important now, I think, because we need to save that culture so that
people can understand that, you know, America wasn't just, you know, always very severe,
angry white people.
So it was actually like different cultures and tribes in different practices.
Yeah.
All right, Sarge.
Well, with that out of the way, do you got anything you want to plug?
Yeah.
Last last week's episode of Super Citizens Guide was really good.
I had a lot of fun listening to the Super Normal.
Thank you.
It was good.
Yeah, I had to be careful when I when I put the tags in on that, because if you put in
if you put in flat earth, you immediately get deprioritized and like every algorithm.
So I had to be very careful with how I worded it.
But, yeah, I just I hate it so much that I needed to do an episode on it.
We're going to have a couple of more because there's there's a whole bunch of crazy offshoots
of that belief system.
I also want to cover creationism because I think that is hilariously stupid as well.
Not to not to attack anyone who has religious beliefs, but if you believe that the world
is only six thousand years old, you are too stupid to live.
I could get by that.
Yeah.
But no, I other than that, just check out Citizens Guide to the Super Normal.
I think we're going to take this weekend off in remembrance of Memorial Day.
But we will be back with I think I'm going to cover creationism on the next episode.
But if not, don't hold me to it.
Don't be mad.
Please donate to this tribe.
And just even if you can't donate, spread awareness of just the terrible shit that Native
Americans go through, not only here in the United States, but also in Canada and in the
indigenous tribes all over the world.
Really.
We kind of fucked over a lot of different people.
Yeah.
White people are really not great for anything.
We're like smoking.
Everybody was doing it, but it wasn't OK.
And so, yeah, other than that, please have a safe, peaceful Memorial Day and make sure
you try and spare a thought for the folks that sacrificed for our American way of life.
Yeah.
And I'm not going to plug anything.
I'm just going to I'm just going to plug the one spirit, the code or definitely check it
out.
And with that, thank you for listening, everyone.
Hopefully I didn't ruin your day.
Also, I love you.